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#and im trying to be like whatever hair of the dog common occurrence. however ik it’s way more serious than that
angelstrawbabie420
·
1 month
Text
#im so fucked. im so so fucked
#i just woke up slightly hungover and took a shot
#very bad development in the alcohol dependency department
#and im trying to be like whatever hair of the dog common occurrence. however ik it’s way more serious than that
#i fucking hate being sober to the point it’s going to ruin my life
#but drinking is such a huge reprieve from the bullshit that i can barely care
#im so fucked. lmao
#ik i cld just ask my brother to stop buying it or keeping liquor around but i cannot bring myself to give it up
#it’s always i’ll think about it tmrw. i’ll deal with it tmrw. but tmrw never comes
#why can’t i just be fucking normal why can’t i just be happy without being under the influence of Something. hell not even happy why can’t
#i just be content.
#ive always been like this. i still remember my first drink and i remember the first time i drank to escape and i havent gotten away from it
#since
#idk how to. i think itll always just be like this til i die. i dont think im capable of not being this
#i dont think i was capable of ever being. a person. to be begin with
#i get this awful feeling i shouldve never existed in this form
#and i’ll do anything to just feel okay. to feel relatively normal. hence why im here
#fucking whatever my life is so worthless anyway may as well just drink myself to death honestly
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