#and im sure there's a bunch more songs out there that would fit this

[compressedrage]

I've done it. My first character-inspired playlist. very proud of myself :P

there's a possibility that I will edit it a bit later, maybe add a few songs here and there, but this is more-or-less it's finished form.

edit: I FORGOT TO TAG THE PEOPLE WHO ASKED. SORRY.

@bittersweetbeet @storgicdealer

I think there was one more person but I don't remember who you are. im sorry :(

[hangup119]

don't get the deal | h. taesan (TEASER)

being the shoulder to cry on is no easy task - especially not for han taesan, who has lived almost half of his life painfully smitten over someone he is confident would never, ever think of wanting him as more than just a friend. he wonders if he will ever get out of this so-called "friend zone," or maybe he just doesn't get the deal at all.

pairing. han taesan x fem. reader

genres + warnings. friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, one-sided pining, eventual happy ending, slight angst + profanity, taesan is bad at feelings, reader is even worse

playlist. don't get the deal by beabadoobee; but i like you by boy next door; somethin' stupid by frank sinatra; about a girl by nirvana; disasterology by pierce the veil; if i'm james dean, you're audrey hepburn by sleeping with sirens

expected word count. 7k-10k words | teaser word count. 1.3k words

author's note. hey goisss... ive had this in the drafts for so so long but for some reason i started working on it again and im nearing the end so hopefully this will be out very soon !!! dont quote me on that tho live laugh love user hangup119's work ethic <3 ALSO btw this teaser is like a flashback kinda thing but the real story actually takes place in their college days

@onedoornet | reblogs appreciated!

IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL WHEN YOU RUINED TAESAN'S LIFE FOREVER.

To be more specific, it was during your last year of high school when he realized that there was simply no way he was ever going to win you over. Not now, and certainly not ever.

Because here’s the thing: Taesan was not a bad-looking guy, he’s far from it, actually. In fact, he had enough business cards from agency recruiters that could fit a whole shoe box, so his looks clearly were never the problem here. Was it his personality, then? Probably not that, either. He was pretty chill most of the time, and he had never really acted up around anyone unless it truly called for it. He always made sure that he wasn’t making a fool out of himself around you, and there were never really incidents that could have painted him in a bad light in your eyes. He had decent grades, so he wasn’t stupid either, which was one of your major turn-offs. And he was sporty—he participated in the school’s soccer team, and he even had a bunch of fans giggling over him whenever he so much as passed them by while chasing after the ball, so his popularity was pretty decent too.

Was he simply not… your type? But that couldn’t be—you were always making heart eyes at Park Sunghoon who was two grades above, and he was told all the time that he was basically a lookalike of the guy! Not to mention you were always at Jung Sungchan’s games, cheering his name even when the guy was literally being benched. Taesan never got benched. He was the star player of his soccer team. You fawned over Park Wonbin when he performed at the school’s talent show, but Taesan could also sing and play the electric guitar just as well. You squealed over Lee Sohee because he was sooo cute! but Taesan knew how to get real fucking adorable, too! He practically had all of their qualities combined into one, and not once did you ever look back at him. 

And that’s when it hit him. 

It was prom that night, and he was off at the corner drinking from a cup of water instead of jumping along with the fray and bouncing up and down to some Drake song when his friend, Kim Leehan, approached him. 

“I’m not slow-dancing with you, Leehan,” he muttered, taking another sip of his bland water. “Piss off.”

Leehan raised his arms in response, smiling in a way that was just so Leehan-like of him. “Woah, woah, I get it. Someone pissed in your cup, or something? Literally and figuratively,” he laughed, leaning against the wall next to him. “Lighten up for once, ‘san. It’s your first and last prom, you know?” 

Taesan only grunted in return. 

“Look at you; so emo tonight,” Leehan said, defeated. He followed the other’s gaze towards the dance floor, where everyone is packed together like a can of sardines. “But you’re always so normal around Y/N.” 

Taesan paused.

Leehan laughed again. “Hm, maybe not?” 

Sometimes, it was both a blessing and a curse to be friends with someone like Kim Leehan. 

“Stop talking about things you already know,” Taesan murmured, chucking the water cup into the trash can a few meters away. He placed his hands inside his pockets, looking straight ahead amidst the dizzying lights and the dispersed crowd now that a slow song started playing.

“Why don’t you go ask her for a dance?” Leehan suggested, signaling towards the dance floor. 

“She’s literally holding hands with Yang Jungwon right now,” Taesan deadpanned. “Are you kidding me? How’d she get him of all people as her prom date?” 

Scoring the smartest and the most popular student in your school has got to be the biggest flex of your high school career. Taesan had almost no complaints except for the fact that Yang Jungwon was your date instead of—him! Any moment now and he’d be losing his mind. Actually, scratch that, he probably already was. 

Leehan hummed. 

“Do you think,” he began, slowly, darting his line of sight between you who’s giggling at something Yang Jungwon said, before turning back to Taesan, the angstiest kid he’s ever known. “That, maybe, if you had just asked her out to prom with you… then maybe she’d have said yes?” 

Finally, the gears inside Taesan’s head started to turn. Leehan smiled at the sight.

Taesan quickly scoffed. “No way,” he denied, crossing his arms. “Why would she go with me when she’s got Yang Jungwon as her date? It’d only happen in my dreams.” 

He figured it out anyway. It wasn’t because he wasn’t as handsome as Park Sunghoon, or as sporty as Jung Sungchan, or as musically talented as Park Wonbin (though he’d beg to differ), or as cute as Lee Sohee. Heck, it wasn’t even because he wasn’t as smart or as popular as Yang Jungwon. 

Maybe it was never because of those things that made you look at them instead of him. 

Maybe you were just never interested in him at all. 

And Taesan will have no other choice but to live with that fact forever. 

Leehan’s smile dropped, and he peeled himself away from the wall. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped for a second just to say: “You’re so—stubborn.” 

Taesan looked at him indignantly. “...What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Leehan shrugged, finally walking away. “You tell me, dude.” 

And then he was gone, rushing off to join the rest of their friends while Taesan stayed in the back, alone and miserable all because of his newfound epiphany. Though he supposed he was already miserable the moment you entered the venue with Yang Jungwon right beside you. 

It was a time of new beginnings for Taesan; a time to finally move on from you. 

Though, if only it was that easy.

Two weeks later, when you were working on a final project with him, you unexpectedly dropped the news that you and Jungwon have broken up. Because Jungwon was going to some Ivy League, and you were decidedly… not. You couldn’t handle the thought of being long-distance, so you decided to just cut things off with him since it can’t be helped, you know? And then you proceeded to laugh it off with that huge, idiotic smile of yours before continuing on with the project. Taesan didn’t know what was so funny.

Eventually, he had to share his water with you when you started sobbing hysterically inside of the library, hiccuping and all. 

He admittedly felt awful seeing you cry over Yang Jungwon, your high school boyfriend of probably only two months, but most importantly, he felt awful because of the relief that suddenly washed over him. 

…And what did that make Taesan?

So, really, maybe it was for the better that you would never look at Taesan the way he wished you would. That no matter how many times he has lent you an ear to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, you never bothered to stop for a moment and think that hey, maybe this guy likes me to some capacity, and maybe I should give him a chance. Because what kind of friend is he to feel relieved at the fact that you had gotten dumped by your boyfriend? That when your heart was broken, he could only rejoice at the fact that he now has a higher chance of getting with you once again even when it is so clear that he never once did? 

How could he sit next to you and think such thoughts? 

And yet, even when you keep jumping from one person to another, falling for someone, crying over another—Taesan will always be there for you when it all comes crashing down. A friend to cheer you on, to lift you up, to steady you—because that’s all he’ll ever be to you. 

Han Taesan was only seventeen years old when you ruined his life. 

And for what it is worth, he is still in love with you.

story by hangup119. do not steal.

[starryknight-tarot]

𝓦𝓱𝓸 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼?

pile 1 -- > pile 2 pile 3 -- > pile 4

my masterlist<3 . paid readings

Hello beautiful souls✨ Today we will be looking into what kind of people your future friends are and maybe a little more into your dynamic together. Remember to meditate, take a deep breath, and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. My readings are meant for everyone, no matter what sexuality or identity you are. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Credit to @benkeibear for the divider and @thuminnoo on instagram.

Pile 1 Cards: Temperance, Three of Swords, Six of Swords, Strength, Three of Pentacles, Nine of Wands, Page of Pentacles, Ace of Cups rx Back of the Deck: Five of Pentacles

The energy for this pile has a lot of layers to it. While I was shuffling, I heard the word "first" pretty clearly, so your future friends might be the first time you can really call someone a friend or simply your first time having friends at all . I feel like all of your future friends are going to have very big personalities. If you are an introvert, you are going to feel like you were adopted by a bunch of extroverts. I am actually getting Mean Girls vibes from this pile, like in a school setting, all your friends would be the talk of the school. The cool kids so to speak lol. And the energy you are going to feel with them also feels pretty complicated. In friendships, you can have good days where everyone is getting along and having fun, and then other day when things can feel more awkward and even a little uncomfortable, your friend group isn't going to be safe from this. Although, you may feel like you may feel like you don't truly fit in with them. I am hearing "Imposter Syndrome" so with your future friends, you may feel like you don't deserve to be around them. But I am getting that your future friends REALLY don't want you to feel this way. In fact, I feel like there may be a moment in your friendship where all this doubt in yourself comes to the surface and you and your friends have a deep conversation about. I am getting for some of you that really don't resonate with this self doubt energy, it might be the other way around where one of your future friends isn't too confident in their friendship with you. Also, no matter what gender you identify as, your future friends are going to help you embrace your feminine energy. For some specific groups of yall, your friends are going to spark your interest in makeup. Some of yall are going to be making new friends at the gym or on a run, something physical. Like I am seeing the visual of someone running a marathon and chatting it up with the person next to them. I think for my pile 1's, yall need to start having a clear idea of what you want and need in a friend. Because if you just let anyone that shows you kindness, you might end up in a distasteful situation. If you don't feel like you and another person have a connection, it's time to cut ties with that person. But with the Page of Pentacles, I feel like you guys will actually find friends that will feel like manifested them into existence. If you have a manifestation journal, it may help to dedicate a page for qualities you want in a friend and spirit is saying that this will bring you closer to these friends. I also keep hearing "They aren't perfect" so even if you are manifesting them, they may not be the perfect person but they are going to be there for you. Also one last message for my introverts, you may want to try and put yourself out there to find friends.

Advice Cards:

Release what you do not need. Let go of some extraneous aspects of your life

Spend some time in stillness to reflect

Be adventurous. It's time to go for it!

A powerful dream will guide you

Your heart is a center of institute intelligence. Listen to it!

You are greater than your story

Channeled Songs: (I laughed when I got Please Me but some of yall may have a message there lol)

Pile 2 Cards: Ace of Swords, Nine of Wands rx, King of Swords, The Tower rx, Ten of Wands rx, The Fool, The Emperor, Two of Pentacles Back of the Deck: Three of Swords

So I was picking up a few different types of energies for this pile, I feel like a lot of people may pick this pile so there is a lot of different people involved or each one of your friends is going to be very different personalities, take it how it resonates. One of the first things I was picking up was that your friends are gonna be labeled as the "weird kids" lol. I don't mean that in a bad way at all, they just might be the type to be labeled as nerds or dorks or whatever but they are just have really silly energy. Specifically, someone in your group is gonna be quite eccentric and unique but I think you will love that about them. This eccentric friend has lovely energy. I keep hearing ENFP or they may might just be really into MBTI. I am also picking up on someone that has a really regal vibe to them? Maybe, they feel like they were royalty in their past life or they could come from wealth. But I am getting such a sweet vibe from this person. This friend group seems like a bunch of softies and I am living for it. I was also picking up that you might have to go through some really shitty friends before you get to the friends that we are currently looking into. Spirit said "those people were never truly your friends" so some people who you thought were your friends may actually be pieces of shit and never even truly saw you as a friend. I am hearing for someone of you that these might be your current friends, of course that isn't going to be for everyone but you are seeing some signs from your current friends that they don't truly respect you as a person, or that they are leave you out of stuff, those people aren't your friends. But with the Fool, I feel like you guys are really going to start a new journey in terms of friends so there are going to be quite a few people who are coming into your life. I heard "They are going to turn your life upside down" so you may start seeing the world differently after meeting them. I do feel like you and your future friends may not always see eye to eye and may have a falling out, I'm not too sure why, it seems like a lot of misunderstandings may happen between yall. These misunderstand may cause yall to have prolonged times apart for a little while. But I do think you will come back together. I'm also not too sure this energy is for everyone or perhaps that keeping this message in mind may cause these misunderstands to be avoided. Spirit is saying "Keep an open mind" so you may need to just hear each other. I am also getting for this pile that your group of friends may be really big, like a lot of people that are gonna hang around you.

Advice Cards:

Hold your life from a sacred viewpoint. Witness the universal picture

Relax and feel good. You deserve more joy!

Your are greater than your story

Pay attention to your breathing, it's reflecting your life

Reflect on the state and use of your personal energy

You are wiser than you think

You are a natural teacher

Channeled Songs:

Pile 3 Cards: Three of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, The Emperor rx, Six of Pentacles rx, Ten of Pentacles, The Fool rx, Ten of Swords Back of the Deck: Four of Cups

Excuse me for my language, but I fucking love this pile so much, your future friends have top tier energy. These friends might be people from your childhood that you rekindle with or just friends you have known for a while. Actually I am also getting that for some of you, you may meet them very suddenly and become friends very fast in your adult life, but I'm not really getting an in between. For some of you, I feel like you are already around your future friends. They seem to be more of the rebellious vibes, I am hearing Lost Boys energy. Your future friends may be strong activists and are very vocal about what is right and wrong. Your friends seems like the type of people that really stand out in the crowd. Probably for a very specific group of you, I feel like you may meet in an art class or just somewhere surrounded by art. And your future friends are SO creative and have such big imaginations. For some of you, you are going to make a career with these future friends and I am hearing starting a Youtube channel or something like that. Whatever it is, it seems like it will be really successful because of the chemistry you and your friends share. Especially with all the pentacles in this pile, yall might make major bank together. For a lot of you, these friends are going to be your soul family. For some of you, there is going to be someone in your friend group that takes up a sort of mother role and they are going to help heal you through a lot of childhood wounds that you may not have even realized you had. I heard for some of you, they are going to get you out more and get you out of a hermit period for you. There is a very small group of you that I feel like you will very suddenly stop seeing each other or perhaps this friendship will have been going on for years and some of you will want to expand your friendship to other people and not talk as much, I am getting maybe two people. A little larger group of you may just drift part after time and find new friends, but you guys would never forget each other and always hold so much love for each other. Yall story seems like it could be made into a story lol. But even then, I won't let that stop you from enjoying your friends with these people and trying your best to make it last since yall do seem really compatible. For real it's so beautiful I almost want to cry. But there is a group of you that I see growing old together basically. Yall will still be causing trouble till yall's hairs grey and you are chilling in the nursing homes lol.

Advice Cards: Release what you do not need. Let go of some extraneous aspect of your life

Reflect on the state and use of your personal energy

Be aware of your inner messages

A powerful dream will guide you

The key is in the application. Practice!

Spend some time in stillness to reflect

Channeled Songs:

Pile 4 Cards: King of Pentacles, Ten of Cups, Four of Pentacles rx, Five of Swords, Six of Pentacles rx, Nine of Swords, The Tower, The Fool rx Back of the Deck: Six of Wands

This pile is very interesting indeed. So one of the first things I was picking up was that you may marry one of your future friends and it is going to be like "Marrying my best friend" kind of moments. Which is real cute for yall. I was also getting that your friend group might be pretty well off, like they all grew up in a pretty wealthy area or something like that. I am kind of picking up on those people that grew up rich but don't really even realize it until you point it out. But they seem like might spoil you a little, take you around to see things you may have never seen without them. I am also hearing some of you may be the rich friend. I am also getting that the way you guys will meet will be through shared struggle. Like I am getting that you and your future friends will go though an experience that not many will have gone through and while you will walk away with a lot of trouble from this experience, you will also walk away with new friendships because not many have gone through what yall have gone through. I am getting that you will have around three or four friends that you are particularly close with. With the mixture of the Tower and the Five of Swords, I feel like you are going to have a big falling out with these people. Although since we have the Six of Wands at the back of the deck, I feel this story will have a very satisfying ending. I just suddenly saw people meeting at a very tropical setting. It could just be the beach but for some of you, this feels like a different country and you will meet up there and it will feel so nice. I am also getting that instead of this falling out energy, your future friends are going to have A LOT of trauma and they may feel like they don't deserve your friendship, something along those lines. Your future friends have very shy energy. They don't seem to trust a lot of people but you managed to gain their trust. Although I feel like one of your friends is very shy and the another is very bold and confident, but even this person seems to have some inner struggles as well. I'm sorry because I feel like there is part of a puzzle that your future friends don't really want to share here. Perhaps your story with them is just something they really want you to experience without any expectations. They seem to have really good intentions with you.

Advice Cards:

Release all attachments that do not serve you

Take a lighter approach and smile about all facets in your life. A smile reflects a heart at peace You are ready to receive your fortune. Be miracle minded!

The key is in the application. Practice! You are intuitively gifted. Trust you guidance

Pay attention to the issue that time plays in your life right now

Channeled Songs:

Thanks for tuning in₊‧.°.⋆🫧��˚₊‧⋆.

[uwurakax]

-> HQ AS TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS +

summary just the vibes of t.swift songs/lyrics and who (i think) match with the haikyuu guys ♡

-> i srsly missed them sm omg, clownin (also im rusty pls cri), maybe one day we'll write more on t.s songs bc dang she's killin it rn

(also edit bc i just came back to check this again before posting but, i thought it was fitting bc ya girl got eras tour tickets!)

(( edit two - you can see from above when i started working on this, came back and came back again rn, bc sis is making friendship bracelets rn for next month aa! and i got inspired by this lol - i also just have impeccable taste ))

featuring kageyama || oikawa || akaashi || kenma || atsumu ♡

+ i got other stuff ready to post promise, i just needed this out there +

KING OF MY HEART

"and we rule the kingdom inside my room, 'cause all the boys and their expensive cars... never took me quite where you do and all at once you are the one i have been waiting for, king of my heart, body and soul"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

it's not easy moving on. you'd been scorned before, and had your heart broken. it wasn't a secret to know you'd been on guard, had your heart under lock and key. created a tall, ivory tower that you made sure no one else would think of scaling. that was before you mer him. it was implausibly easy. how everything fell into place when you were just within his vicinity. maybe being hurt wasn't so bad, because if you didn't face them, they wouldn't have led you to him, here and now. he wasn't just the king of the court anymore, another invisible crown bestowed onto him as he climbed; holding the key to you.

- kageyama ♡

LOVER

"i take this magnetic force of a man to be my... my hearts been borrowed and yours has been blue, alls well that ends well to end up with you, swear to be overdramatic and true to my... lover"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you knew he was a star, anyone with eyes could see. he was destined for great things, and you were a planet following, orbiting around his sun. you'd always follow, for as long as he wanted. your greatest pleasure though was with the mundane. you'd take the stardom, the fame... but you lived for the monotonous. where it was just you and him. you hoped it would last forever. hand in hand, nothing would stop you. whether it was cheering for him on the sidelines, or laying beside him at night, you'd love him for eternity.

- oikawa ♡

GORGEOUS

"ocean blue eyes, looking in mine, i feel like i might sink and drown and die, you're so gorgeous i can't say anything to your face, cause look at your face; gorgeous"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

starstruck, awestruck, wonderstruck. any and every 'struck' you could think of, and thats the feelings that grew the moment you locked eyes on him. it was such a cliche, a crowded room with a bunch of other bodies, and yet you seemed to naturally gravitate towards him. love at first sight. a concept so wildly unbelievable and yet so captivating, that the most famous love story revolved around it. yet here you were, stunned into silence, because this was what you were experiencing now. completely out of your comfort zone, never had anyone ever made you feel like this before; but what could you say? he's gorgeous.

- akaashi ♡

YOU BELONG WITH ME

"i'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry, i know your favourite songs and you tell me about your dreams, think i know where you belong, think i know it's with me"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

it's not easy being in love with your best friend. you knew practically everything about him. so why was he with her when you were always in his corner from the beginning? the late night gaming sessions and text messages. she just wasn't good for him. she didn't understand him like you did, and his calls and conversations all but proved how much better you could be for him. so why? you didn't need to ponder long, because soon enough he was at your doorstep late into the night, confessing how it was a mistake, how he ended things with her and if he could come inside to talk.

- kenma ♡

CRUEL SUMMER

"and i snuck in through the garden gate, every night that summer just to seal my fate, and i scream for whatever it's worth 'i love you! aint that the worst thing you ever heard?' he looks up grinning like a devil"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you had heard about him. heard about how he wasn't good enough for you, and that you shouldn't get involved. you never were a good listener, and soon enough you became involved with him. despite the little voice in your head telling you to let go, you couldn't. it wasn't supposed to be forever, and you were okay with that. initially anyway. catching feelings for something that would end in disaster... but you couldn't end it. not yet. just how deep did you dive into whatever this was? you couldn't pinpoint when it went south, but did that matter? you were too far gone. the anticipation grew the longer this lasted, and in a bout of stress, you blurted out your confession. not your finest moment, and you were sure he'd shun you for good. turn his back on you and walk away, leaving you to mend your broken heart. he didn't though. he just stood there, with his stupid smirk that made you fall for him to begin with, confessing the same words you all but screamed at him moments ago.

- atsumu ♡

[penny-anna]

im off work this week and trying to get some Culture!! here's what ive been up to so far:

[REDACTED] 80s themed solo show: im. not gonna share the name of this one bcos the lady doing the show seemed genuinely nice and i had a genuinely bad time. the idea was that it was a pastiche of 80s movies w as much of the dialogue as possible made up of lyrics of well-known 80s songs? i found it Interminable. just did not work for me at all. found the plot hard to follow due to the conceit so it was basically just someone reciting out of context song lyrics for a full hour.

Songs about Roses at the Fruitmarket Gallery: wasnt expecting to enjoy this all that much (looked like. really good but bleak and wasn't sure i'd be up for that) but actually had a really good and educational time. especially enjoyed the making of film.

Against the Clock at the Canon's Gait: i wasn't actually planning on going to see this dlghfjhgkfj I had a different show picked out but when I showed up this happened:

Performer, finding me loitering outside the venue: hi, are you here for a silent comedy show?

Me, puzzled: I'm here for a comedy show

Performer: great, here's your hat!

Me, holding a hat, realising this is definitely not the show I picked out: thank you but I'm just gonna go double check I'm in the right place (at this point I gave back the hat)

Me, checking the board outside the venue to see that I am definitely in the right location on the right date: I was looking for this? (pointing at the show I came to see)

2nd Performer: oh yes she cancelled so we're performing instead

Me: ohh

Me: ok I guess I am here to see you.

anyway: the premise of the show was that it's about silent film-era actor Harold Lloyd (he's this guy) and also about the 2 actors and their relationship and shared love of silent comedy. production was charming n I did learn a bunch of stuff about Harold Lloyd which was interesting.

however the script felt hm, one or two passes away from finished to me? idk if it was edited down to fit in a Free Fringe slot (I know this happens sometimes) but the first 25 minutes consisted mostly of 'hello audience we're going to do a show for you about silent comedy. the show will start shortly. did we mention we're going to do a show about silent comedy? ok here is the show. wait we need to tell you more about what the show is going to be about.'

it was frustrating bcos what was good was really good! ah well. it was a PBH free fringe show and i had a nice time so i would recommend it. they also gave everyone in the audience some popcorn.👍

[kekaki-cupcakes]

Hello kekaki! Cloud you please write something for Jason with a stoic/shy body painter reader? I feel like he’d be a great model, cause he’s very patient and all. What do you think? No worries if u don’t feel like it, obvs!

I actually loved this idea and ended up putting heaps of headcanons and shit in it too because I love this kinda ask! [everyone usually just does simple stuff which is all g lol but this is so creative maybe its just cause im artsy haha] Anyway this is mixed in with an ask I got for a London Boy [Taylor Swift] type ask x Jason <3 <3 <3

There's still a trace of body paint--- Jason x Body paint artist!reader [London Boy-Taylor Swift]

»»————-　★　————-««

Jason tried not to laugh.

It was so hard though, because holy Hades the paintbrush was so cold and it was tickling his sides and he began chewing on his lip to stop himself from squirming away.

He sat as still as he could, which wasn’t hard, one thing Camp Jupiter got right was the whole soldier thing, and Jason could stand still for hours at a time without moving if he had to. And this way he was sitting on a cushioned stool watching your expression shift when you thought no one was watching you, or eating MnM’s, listening to whatever pop song came over the little radio by the open window. 

The smell of strawberries wafted through with the warm summer air from the fields a few cabins over, and it made him hungry, but he wasn’t about to get up and ruin the carefully designed strokes all down his back and over his shoulders.

He didn’t even get to know what it was until the end, apparently, which was so mean of you, but then you’d stick your tongue out while you worked a little bit in concentration and he forgave you. 

You looked up and made eye contact too quickly for Jason to play it off, and you took the tiny brush off his shoulder slowly, “what?”

“Nothing,” Jason said quickly, chewing the inside of his lip to stop his grin this time, and turned to the rest of the cabin. There was one set of bunks, but the rest of the beds were all retro hammocks hung between messy easels and tapestries and a few statues in progress. 

There was a mini fridge with a salt lamp on top, and every windowsill had little trays of incense next to the mugs filled with paint brushes or lemonade. His view was skewed when you spun the stool around a little and took another brush from the table, this time with an inky dark blue. 

Jason looked up at the roof to move his hair when the cold began to dot lightly where his neck met his shoulder. There was a big circle cut out of the white stone ceiling, replaced with glass that let the light in like a halo. It fit the whole scene though, you looked like an angel, even with the bit of melted MnM on your cheek.

“Hey,” he started, noticing the polaroid’s stuck to the wall around the mustard colored hammock belonging to you. “Can I ask..” 

“Hm?” You asked, getting a sponge and dabbing at the scars shredding up the right of Jason’s lower back. 

He wasn’t sure what your answer to the question would be, and if it was something bad, he didn’t want to make you upset, but he was curious. “How did you… how did you get here? When were you claimed?”

“Well, it wasn’t as dramatic as falling out of a burning chariot into the lake,” you muttered, wiping yellow paint from your hands onto your forehead without noticing. “My mum booked a flight to New York when I was ten, and then drove me to the borders of Camp.”

Jason looked down at his shoes, “your mortal mum?...She just left you?” 

You shook your head quickly, “oh, no, it wasn’t like that. She told me I was a demigod when I was six. Didn’t want to keep secrets. Said she went out with a lady at Glastonbury that dropped me off a few months later with a bunch of flowers.”

“I lasted a lot longer than the flowers,” you chuckled quietly, “I knew I was coming here for ages, and I knew I was a son of Iris. We didn’t get a lot of monsters in England, I’ve been attacked more by going to Starbucks on the weekends here than living in Manchester for ten years.”

Jason didn’t like talking about his own mum, but the way you smiled talking about yours, he figured you didn’t mind. “Do you miss her?”

“A lot, but Iris messages aren’t exactly hard for me,” you said with a shrug, dipping the paintbrush into the little tub Jason was balancing on his thigh. “Besides, Iris pays for my mum to fly over every summer, cause she feels bad that she had a kid with someone so far away.”

“Really?”

You smiled again, and the little shiny crystals on your necklaces clicked against the beads, “she’s a pretty great mum, as far as godly parents go. She’s gonna pay for art school, as long as I show her everything I paint.”

Jason blinked. “Does that include me?”

“Surely you’ve met her, you’ve met all the gods, right?” You asked, eating an MnM and swishing the paintbrush around in a cup. Jason was pretty sure you’d just cleaned it with lemonade, but he didn’t say anything. 

He blinked, watching the colorful stained glass of your earrings catch in the light, “Yeah, but that was before…”

Before he’d found you with Racheal using the blank stone wall of his cabin as a space for her next mural. He didn’t really care if Zeus got annoyed, because you had pink paint on your cheeks and you were using a pegasus called Clover to put all of the paint tubs on and Racheal was saying something stupid and you were laughing with your nose all crinkled up and if Zeus got annoyed by that, Jason would take the smiting himself.

Before he’d somehow ended up in the same activities together after he told Piper about you [who could convince Annabeth to do anything for her somehow, even without her mothers tongue].

Before he’d offered to sit still for hours at a time so that you could build a portfolio of paintings on his scarred skin. He’d had to ask instead of agree, because you weren’t exactly the outgoing type. Neither was Jason, so you could sit together for hours with only the sound of the tens of wind chimes outside the cabin and paint tubes being used to their last drop.

Before Jason found himself more invested in the process of the painting then the outcome. 

He gulped, and mentally shook his head, “well, I hope the art school people don’t mind scars. You’d have to use someone else.”

“I don’t care if they do. I’d still paint you,” you said quietly, looking up from the dark blue sketchy strokes Jason could only just see without his glasses. Then you looked away, changing your paintbrush for the yellow one, “unless you didn’t want to.”

“I do.”

It was silent for a moment, and then you smiled, your lip piercing shining in the sun that streamed in, “okay.”

“I’m done,” you said a few minutes later, passing Jason the rest of the MnM’s once he could move without fear of ruining the paint. He watched as you pulled a mirror out from behind an easel depicting what looked like a robot bear with square teeth and red eyes. 

Jason stared at the blues and golds with wide eyes. He didn’t want to blink, he didn’t want to not see it. He didn’t know how to put it into words. “...Wow.” 

Wow didn’t seem like enough, but you grinned nonetheless with a shy shrug, “It’s a Van Gogh, well my version of it. Everyone likes Starry night, but I like Starry Night Over The Rhone a lot more, so…” 

»»————-　★　————-««

“Is that her?”

You rolled your eyes at the question, the only one Jason had been able to ask the past ten minutes as you both sat at a park bench outside the movies, an old one near the markets that just played grainy reruns in its shabby chic theater. “If you ask one more-”

“No I think that’s Iris,” he whispered with wide eyes, “she’s staring at me.”

About to explain that the old lady with a basket of kittens and a black lace umbrella [it was sunny. She was probably a vampire] was not your mother, you turned to see the woman who was actually your mother, in her bell bottoms and matching top, hoop earrings made of tiny dreamcatchers casting colorful light everywhere. 

You grabbed his wrist, and pulled him along into her cloud of floral perfume that hurt your nose when she brought you into a bearhug. “Hi mum.”

“Darling!” She shrieked, kissing your cheeks and holding your shoulders and she shook them violently, then snuck another hug while you were making sure your head was still attached to your shoulders, “oh, how I’ve missed you!” 

“Missed you to mum,” you said, pulling away with a smile, and turned to Jason, who had the same expression big dogs get when they’re picked up. “Um, mum… this is Jason.”

“Yes, yes! I’ve heard all about you!”

“...He’s my boyfriend.” 

»»————-　★　————-««

[ebi-noodle-doodles]

Had a 💡 moment.

Currently traveling and I badly want a fighting game with vocaloid/megpoid/utauloid characters in my head. I’m eager to learn game dev/ coding for this specific idea. I’m madly in love with

I designed Catsune/Nyatsune Miku with hair paws/claws. I also just came up with

Nyatsune Miku- Hair paws/claws. Her basic attacks are ofc her hair punch, spam and you get a hair stand oraoraoraoraora! Her hair grab and 👋 slap. Popipo vegetable juice riding it and running across the screen, leek helicopter (levanpolka). World is mine, love is war, brs and other that i could think of as song finishers

Luka Megurine - Ofc, tentacle hair. Octopus Luka. Her attacks are giant baseball throw of tako luka with a giant tuna, giant tuna smash, fresh catch, & hair grab. Some ideas for her finishing songs are JBF, Night fever, World dance hall, enbizaka, Magnet

Meiko- fox, cus it just seem fitting and she ate. Basic attacks are her sake, swinging her microphone stand, maybe a drunken fist style? Top of my head for a song finisher is conchita, will do more research since I forgor the others

Kaito- Wolf? cus Im basic. His attacks are ice cream/popsicle related! Freezes the enemy. Slaps them with giant popsicle & basic attack with his long scarf. Id like to add stuff like if he wins against a gakupo enemy madness of duke plays lol bunch of song finishers in my head cant remember titles-

Rin and Len- still not sure if otter or fennec. But Lens design would focus on his banana hair, he takes it out like my nendoroid and he throws it like a boomerang, he spamms and regrows his banana hair and ofc rin on her ribbon, ofc theres a theme here and its gonna be a huge ribbon, thinking if she uses each as shureken to mirror len’s banana boomerang throw! Also thinking if she could fly like Tails with it- 🚁 Too tired to list the songs but ofc ill include the daughter of evil series on everyone

Gumi- Rabbit. I love love love LOVE gumi and I remember her being 🥕 so a rabbit/bunny seems fitting! Giant carrot ofc, carrot attacks, her harvesting and pulling out the carrot only to bonk the enemy with it. Some songs that have two voice banks singing it would appear in their song finishers like Matryoshka!

Gakupo- Tiger? Lion? Still not sure but one of the finisher songs is def gonna be Madness of Duke- where if you finish of the enemy *you win* signs appear and him and the “ladies” are all lined up in the bg? Cant explain it properly but ye. Dancing samurai, go google it are on top of my head

This idea is heavily inspired by Super Gem fighter 😭 I love that game so much I want something similar except in the consecutive acts where like you change “outfits/designs” in Super Gem fighter (SGF) in this game you do it also with Song references changing outfits/designs/ base on that songs mv and each phase of the attack is a different song reference where if you finish of an enemy in that phase of the attack you finish them of with the song and stay on that costume/outfit/design and have like a finishing move or moment i.e Len vs Rin Daughter of evil and Servant of evil, Rin(Player1) finishes off Len(enemy/player2) and winning the game, Rin crying after-

Ofc theres secret characters. Top of my head rn is BRS. Not sure if Teto should be a secret character. Maybe her old design and then her new one is included since you know her being official! Additional characters/content would be Kaii Yuki, Vflower, SeeU, Iroha, Lily, IA and more. Theres so much still on my head and I want to make it happen 😭😭😭😭

Just blabbering my thoughts if anyones gonna even read hahah! Its really cold from where i am rn 🦭 This sparks inspo when I get home

Also this is a pixel base! Gotta love them classics

[leonsmamacita]

"Drunk on Lust"

a/n: hello! so this is my first ever fic written/posted in public, mostly bc im shy nd i get intimidated a bunch jsjsjjs but! that changes today! anyways i dont wanna make this too long, so tldr; just lmk if i did good nd if there is any suggestions u wanna give, feel free to! idk how tumblr rlly works so sorry if tags/cw is off

word count: 2.1k(???) (yes i do hate myself)

disclaimer: just bc i write it dont mean i condone these actions irl! this is purely for entertainment purposes ONLY; practice safe sex + drink responsibly <3

MDNI; +18 ONLY

cw: a tad of angst, alcohol abuse ( reader is forced to consume alcohol ), mentions of vomit, heavy degrading, mention of breeding, overstimulation, edging, p in v, no comfort/no aftercare, manipulation, mentions of guilt-tripping, BDSM ( temperature play, spanking, sadism ), mentions of lactation, he comes inside, empty sex ( fwb ), no use of y/n; not proof read!

song below is the main inspo for this fic if u are interested to give a listen to!

————————————————————————

"Great, just what I fucking needed."

Waking up with a splitting headache along with a burning migraine from a hangover was a feeling Leon found himself all too familiar with as of late; breath reeks of cheap booze and remnants of whatever he had for dinner. In a daze, he sat up and found himself in more pain than usual. Although only in his prime (around the 30's), his body feels as though it had gone through decades.

Phone now in hand, he checks his inbox and sees an unread message sent by the one person who can take away not only the physical pain, but the emotional kind as well— his own personal carrier for his emotional baggage. A snort leaves his nose as he reads the message; you always aimed to please, telling yourself constantly that you are only doing this to help a friend out. A "friend", how cute. So pretty, so young, and yet so naive.

On his way to your place, he spaces out for a moment or two. He would always find himself in this suffocating mog of black, a place his fucked up brain traps him in against his will. A never ending spiral that he keeps getting swept up in— no matter how many times he tries to regain control, it always ends up out of his hands due to the cruel will of fate. That was, until he met you.

As corny as it was, you were the light at the end of this dark tunnel he trapped himself in. Unhealthy habits; he would do them all, and no one would bat an eye. You were the only one who truly cared, who truly worried— he could not let you go. He looses himself to you each and every time, much more than he does to alcohol. When he admitted this to you, you were more than willing to offer yourself to him in any way he sees fit. It doesn't matter if he was mildly intoxicated or black out drunk, you would always welcome him in with open arms. And open legs.

"Hey, you."

Your voice snapped him out of his daydream. How did he not manage to crash on his way here? Perhaps it was his body usually going on autopilot during those moments. His mind was already wired into what turns to take, what lane to switch to on the highway, and what apartment complex building you reside at. As long as it leads to you.

Not wanting to waste another second, his lips crashed into yours. You already smelled the alcohol, sweat and vomit on him, it was only more intense as you tasted it on your tongue. No matter, you agreed to this anyways. You want this as much as he does— he conditioned you to do so. Fumbling with the leather of his jacket, he slips it off and tosses it to the side, doing the same with your sleep-shirt. Your nipples stiffen at the draft of cold air fanned against your areolas, moaning at how sensitive they grew out to be after Leon forced you to get those piercings.

His gaze falls on the ends of the silver bars, tempted to suck them harshly enough you were sure enough to lactate— even though you couldn't. But, he has to be patient, you had only gotten them three months ago. No worries, he will have his way with your tits soon enough. His rough thumb pads gently trace down the side of your hips to your love handles, holding onto them as he hoists you up into his arms. Sitting you down on the kitchen counter, he nips at your neck as he desperately tugged down your pajama shorts along with your undergarments.

Without hesitation, he opens his flyer to take out his painfully hard cock— the tip crying of pre as he taps it against your clit, sending a jolt of raw pleasure to shoot straight to your core and all throughout your lower abdomen. With his free hand, he takes out his hip flask and looks at you with that familiar glint of lust in his eyes.

"Open up."

A beat too slow passes; before you could register what he is planning to do, he scissors you open with his fingers and shoves the opening of the flask past your lips, forcing you to take him and to drink whatever cheap booze was inside the flask all at once. It was overwhelming, too much, and yet it was creating the perfect storm between you two— enough to make both of you moan at the sensation.

The cold counter meets the flesh of ass, sticking to it just slightly as your slick runs down your thighs and around the girth of his fat, long fingers. Dragging you onto him, using you as if you were a living sex doll; no regards for your pleasure whatsoever. Feeling a bit dazed, possibly from the alcohol he forced you to take, you whimper. It only intensifies at the fat of his calloused fingers kissing the opening of your g-spot, causing that delicious burning sensation you can't get enough of— you were sure you were going to be aching by the time he is done with you, and he is just getting started. Feeling your walls flutter around him, he quickly pulls out, leaving you whining as you clench around nothing.

He coos at you softly, making those empty promises of making you cum— he never lives up to it however. It's not like he can't, he could. But, he likes to be an asshole and rip away the pleasure from you, costing you an explosive orgasm that leaves you crying as the feeling quickly coils back painfully into your core; denying you pleasure is an all-time favorite for Leon, even if he ends up blue-balling himself as well. Makes coming inside you all worth it.

Grabbing the bottle of liquor you took a shot of earlier to hype yourself up before Leon came over, he smirked darkly at you, drinking in every detail of your pathetic self trembling at the denied pleasure. An eerie silence falls between them, before it was interrupted with a loud gasp falling from your lips and a low hum leaving Leon's.

"What, can't handle it? C'mon, you're a big girl," he teased, disregarding your pleas and the crescent-shaped cuts you leave on his biceps as you clawed away at him, trying to get him to pull the cold glass bottle away from your clit. Rubbing the icy glass against your clit some more, he holds the edge of it and pushes the hood that protects it back, exposing your clit some more. "So pretty; you're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Leon then rubs the length of the bottle against your exposed clit, making you writhe against him, pressing your body further back against the cold counter. Either way, you were trapped between his heavy body and the counter, forced to give into the aching pleasure being given to you. You just have to take it.

Finally, he takes the bottle away from your aching pussy, making you sigh in relief— and yet, you were again slightly denied an impending orgasm. Were you seriously going to cum from that? God, Leon was ruining you. Before you could dive deeper into the relief, your lips meet in an open mouth kiss, and you could taste the booze he forces into your mouth. Not wanting to choke, you are forced to swallow the alcohol quickly, already feeling lightheaded. You weren't drunk, not yet at least, but you were at least woozy enough for Leon to hoist you over his shoulder and take you to your bedroom.

You aren't sure when he started rutting against your crying pussy with his fat tip, but nonetheless the sensation makes you arch your back, bringing your chest up against his broad pecs. A snort leaves his mouth at your reaction, making you whine at how mean he is being to you.

"Actin' like a bitch in heat," he blows his hot breath against your ear lobe, leaning in and licking the shell of your ear, making you mewl. "Gonna have to fuck you s'good; i'll make you drunk on my fat dick instead." With that, he splits you open and completely bottoms out deep inside you. Fuck, fuck, fuck, too much. Your mouth agape, that dumbfounded look on your face— it only pushed him to snap his hips against yours, balls slapping against your cheeks, making obscure and downright pornographic sounds echo around the room.

Switching positions, he maintains himself lodged inside you as he flips you on your stomach, putting you in a prone-bone position. Wrapping his arm around your neck, he cuts off your airway just right. The mixture of alcohol and the lack of oxygen makes your head spin, making you have this fucked-out look on your face as Leon continues to ravage your pussy from behind. Low grunts and growls are heard from him; he was close, and you were too.

"Yeah? You like that? Drunk on my booze and on my cock," he laughs at you, mocking you as you can only let out a sinful symphony of moans. "Such a slut, letting me fuck you into your own mattress, fuck," he keeps choking you out, squeezing your neck as your cheek meets his bicep, having no choice but to bite down on the meat of his muscle in order to muffle your moans. "What's the matter? Don't want your neighbors to hear you getting slutted out? Letting the perverted alcoholic have his way with you? Is that it? Huh?"

His breath hot and heavy, words contained malice and pure lust, with no respect for you whatsoever that even Lilith would look at the both of you in disgust— further damning you two to the second circle of Hell.

As much as you hated him for talking down on you this way, the way he is battering your insides and plunging deep inside your guts has your body saying otherwise. A sour feeling creeps up on your stomach— either it was the urge to throw up since you were quite literally drunk and being dragged back and forth on some dick, or it was the urge to let go and cum. Either or, it was making you even more dizzy, becoming too much to handle.

"Aw, am I being too mean to you, sweetheart?" Leon said in his snarky, condescending tone, laughing at you as tears streamed down your face, proving this to be too much even for you. And yet, despite this, he continued to fuck you stupid. "You allowing me to bully this dick inside you, so what's wrong with a few mean words?" A drunken chortle escapes his chest as he slight heaves. "Hold on just a lil longer, nngh, fuck, take it," A loud smack is heard as his handprint marked the fat of your ass, and more is heard as he continues to spank and fuck you at a ruthless and unforgiving pace. "Shit.. if this tight little pussy keeps sucking me in like that, m'gonna have to plug 'er full of my cum and make her tighten up to hold my kids inside your womb."

Skin slapping against skin, slick mixing with pre, it all became too much. Letting out one last cry, you come so hard you could've sworn you could see stars as your eyes roll to the back of your head. Leon only laughs at this, slightly wincing at the grip your walls have on him. This doesn't deter him however, as he continues to thrust into you much deeper, balls slapping against your pussy lips as he grinds his hips flush against your ass. Clit chaffing against the bedsheets, he overstimulates you over the edge, causing you to hiccup in between sobs.

Hearing you sob was what pushed him to the peak of his climax; what an asshole, getting off of the idea of making a sweet soul like you who only wanted to help a piece of shit like him cry. His thick and heavy cum floods your womb, holding your hips in a bruising grip as the last ropes of his load spurts inside you, finishing with a guttural moan. Leaving his softening dick inside you, he lightly taps the red and hot flesh of your lower back. "Still with me?"

—

"Jesus, my head.."

You wake up the next day, hungover and sore as shit. You feel as though you got ran over by a tow truck carrying trucks. Lifting the blanket off of your body, you notice the small puddle of slick and cum on your bed sheets, letting out a scoff of annoyance.

Lugging yourself out of bed, you take a quick shower to freshen up and to get started with your day— even though it was nearly three at the afternoon. Your phone in hand, you see a new message in your inbox. It was from Leon.

Leon [10:52 AM]: "You up yet?"

————————————————————————

[coelakanths]

my jenny wakeman cd is complete….

65 minutes of a bunch of jenny songs!!!!! and you can hold it in your hands and cherish it with your ears!!!!!!!!! design choices + song analysis thoughts under the cut :3

okkkk. this was so fun to make!!! took me two days in total but it would’ve taken less time if I didn’t have work and a life outside of cartoons 🙄 but I digress. most of these songs are taken from this jenny playlist that I just love with my whole heart… I hope the creator is out there so they know that i am so picky with my character playlists and they really hit a home run here which NEVER happens for me. tysm to that random stranger for being the best!!

anyway :3 jennys musical vibe falls into a few categories— i looked mostly for girl pop, hyperpop/electro-whatever, teen angst, etc etc… big early 2000s vibe. I briefly considered adding some older songs to fit the aesthetic of the show but it’s just not her!!! shes just a little rebellious like that!

most of these songs are pretty straightforward in their connection to jenny imo but with character playlists i always have the itch to explain and over-analyze why everything fits well. im going to refrain from doing that too much here but know that each song was picked with a lot of thought. probably too much thought if im being honest.

now onto the actual design of the cd case! the design is a little underwhelming i know, but i didn’t want to bite off more than i could chew. i included two separate star motifs seen in the show (jennys “blast off” and the little stylized sparkles) and of course the trans flag because well. have you seen her?

I tried (and sort of failed…) to make the song list look like a circuit board? idk. it’s a little ugly. i didn’t try THAT hard. i think if i were to do this again id print off an image of a circuit board and use that instead. i have a huge collection of them (as seen in the background of the photos!) and considered cutting one to size, but it would be too thick and bumpy.

the cd itself is nothing special!! i put stickers on it and wrote down the main details. i like to keep the cds themselves fairly simple, but maybe someday ill be braver with them :,-)

this project was really just a test run for a line of nicktoons unite character cds!! the main one i want to do is for danny. i have a ~3hr long danny playlist and the cds i have can only hold 80mins so i think im gonna make two cds for him but im not sure yet. i just wanted more practice before i took on that project and who better to work with than my favorite robot girl?

that’s all!!! thank you for reading this :-) i love doing weird insanely self indulgent projects for nobody but myself! good to be crafting again ⭐️🤖

[barzfrommarz]

Idk if you’re still doing this but if you are, can we please have some more headcannons? give me the good brain juice pls

I WILL ALWAYS DELIVER HEADCANONS <3

-His hair is really important to him. First it was about looking clean and tidy to fit the role of president but now having long hair serves as something he can use to ground himself with. He especially loves it when he gets the motivation to wash his hair and it’s all nice and soft

-He’s not a dog person, but if he had to have one it would be a dashund. He thinks their long backs are really funny and has since he was young

-Once chewed on a bass guitar string for no reason. In his words he would’ve chewed his own but they were too thin

-Still has panic attacks going into caves, tight places or anywhere too out on the open (he subconsciously thinks he will get spotted and killed)

-Has found that he will sleep better in unusual places so despite having a bed he will still sleep on the floor or in a chair or sometimes outside. It’s probably from when he couldn’t have the luxury of sleeping in his bed since he had to be alert and he grew used to the feeling of the ground and his tight uniform lulling him to sleep (if he could even get to sleep)

-Despite being transmasc, he still loves femme things but he suppressed it out of fear people wouldn’t see him as a man. One night he went to Las Nevadas and saw a bunch of drag king and queens and he finally got over his fears and now he sometimes does drag king makeup looks for fun (IM GONNA KEEP ON DANCING AT THE PINK PONY CLUBBBBBB)

-Gets triggered by buttons that he doesn’t know the purpose. He will genuinely refuse to enter a room because of this and people have to reassure him they won’t blow everything up

-In pogtopia he could barely keep anything down from anxiety and stress so he gradually stopped eating all together (and as a punishment which i’m p sure is canon) All he would ever eat are saltine crackers, potatoes and sometimes chicken if he bothered to go hunt for some

-His boots in L’manburg were platform boots. He made them that way so more people could see him when he spoke or gave commands during war. Everyone always wondered how he seemed to naturally good at running and walking in them but little do they know he had a goth phase and developed those skills then

-He braided c!fundys hair a lot when he was a kid so sometimes he will try to braid c!tommy’s hair even though his is too short to try and remember the bond he and his son used to have

-When the burger van is closed, he sings along to songs really loudly and he doesn’t like to admit that people can hear him screaming the lyrics to american idiot or some shit

-Has been journaling his life since he was about 9 years old. He still has every single journal he’s ever kept and he gave his one from when he was revived to c!tommy before he left to go home

-He ended up having to admit himself to a psychiatric facility soon after arriving home since he was really struggling to get better by himself and it’s one of the best decisions he can recall making in recent years. He’s doing a lot better now and is with the right therapists and on the right meds with the right accommodations

-Masked his autism so much that he genuinely laughed at his doctor when she told him he was autistic. It took him a while to accept himself and unmask

-He hallucinates a lot. Mostly his are audio and visual hallucinations and they really scare him. It’s makes it hard to talk and interact with people sometimes

-Massive pothead. He’s been smoking weed since he was 17 and while he doesn’t do it as much anymore, he does have a specific bathrobe he will go out into his yard to smoke in atleast once a week

-He scarily flexible. It freaks people out and he loves to mess with people by contorting into weird and strange positions

-He especially prefers ranged weapons after revival because swords trigger him. Once c!quackity pulled one on him out of anger during and argument and that’s the first and only time c!quackity has ever seen him go completely silent while arguing with him

-Has definitely written fanfiction before.

-Eats shit like chapstick or cigarettes just to spice his life up a little

-Swore he would quit drinking but he still raided c!phils fridge for beer a week after being revived and drank atleast 3 cans

-c!quackity never wanted to admit he was in love with c!wilbur so he kept on telling him that they weren’t together and all they were ever going to be were rivals with benefits and he ended up really hurting c!wilbur when he wanted to take their relationship further by saying this and it made c!quackity so upset with himself that he ended up ghosting c!wilbur when he came to apologize to him (KNEE DEEP IN THE PASSENGER SEAT-)

-Secretly collects fidget/stim toys and uses them when no one is looking. But unbeknownst to him everyone can hear him when he is mashing the keys down on a little keyboard fidget he bought for himself. (I headcanon him as HoH so if he doesn’t bring it up to his ear he can barley hear it)

-Secretly went to the pride events that las nevadas held because he had never been to any form of pride celebration or parade and he definitely cried (he won’t admit that)

KEEP THE ASKS COMING I WILM GET TO THEM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

[songbirdtales]

Birds of a Feather (AstarionxTav)

Author's note:

Hey folks, this fic contains spoilers for the Kahga questline in the emerald grove. This is a Part 1 of 2, I split the fic up to make it more readable. Part 1 is SFW, Part 2 will be NSFW. I have another fic I'm still debating on posting that's a fix it of the scene with Gandrel but im not sure it's really my place to be posting that, LMK what you think.

Gale, Karlach, Astarion and Tav had returned to the Druid’s Grove for supplies. Tensions were still high, the ritual still being performed, and the four had split up. Karlach was doing squats with several children on her shoulders while Gale was preoccupied picking apart the tiefling apprentice wizard. Astarion wandered the grove seemingly aimlessly. His eyes scanned every inch of the camp for barrels to pick food from and loose gold. He’d taken a turn around the sacred pool when he heard the melodic twang of plucked strings. 

Curious, Astarion followed the sound to find Tav playing their lute beside another tiefling. She was delicate and young, and the tiefling looked so natural together. Tav always felt so out of place among their bunch, but beside the other bard, Tav fit perfectly into the world. Tav had their eyes on her as she worked through lyrics, her voice slow and off beat as she found their place. Tav played slow, waiting for her to lead the beat and chiming in with another line when she’d find herself stuck. 

He hid in the brush and watched as they worked it all out, the two started from the beginning once more. This time the beat was more steady, though still slow. Their shared focus on analyzing each other and gently building a fuller picture of the sound. It was a somber song, a requiem, and as they finished the pretty stranger smiled bright.

She gasped for air as if she were coming up for air from under water, turning to Tav who was sitting beside her, one leg propped up on the seat to help support their instrument and let them sit turned towards her. She sat very close, but the two didn’t touch. “This is the first song I’ve written since my teacher passed.”

Tav relaxed the neck of their lute, letting the instrument rest across their lap as their arms relaxed. “I’m glad to help. She wouldn’t want your grief to rob you of your passion, Alfira.”

Her dark ashen cheeks flushed as she leaned a little closer. “Are you working on anything?” Her tail flit nervously behind her as Tav’s swayed happily, beginning to keep a beat.

“I am. Would you like to hear?” There was that smile, the one that threw Astarion off with one word, the one that had Gale so enraptured. It was seductive, addictive, and that strange feeling in his gut returned. It was as if someone was twisting his innards as he watched his mark play with another’s heart.

“P-please?” Alfira practically moaned. The two turned just a little closer as Tav took the lute up in their hands once more.

“It’s still a work in progress but,” Tav’s grin grew wider, sure and arrogant. Astarion knew the look, he made it all the time. They were lying, toying with her for the thrill, but was that so bad? Just some harmless flirting with a pretty girl, it wasn’t like Tav had any loyalties, but that made Astarion panic more. His plan was getting less and less simple.

Tav began to a gentle and bright melody, nodding along to instruct Alfira on the tambourine beat. Once she had it, they focused on the strings once more and began to sing at Alfira. This was a finished song, one Tav kept in their pocket just for moments like this. There was a melancholy to the dissonance between the lute and their voice. The song was drenched in regret and yearning.

She was drawn in closer as Tav played, the softly somber longing in the tune was hypnotic as their gaze, the steady beat and shift between staccato and legato notes made for an ebb and flow as trancing as the tide. For most of the performance, Tav’s eyes had been on Alfira, closing them only as they got into the rhythm for a moment and returning to her just as quickly. There was an attentiveness to their gaze, it made the rest of the world fade away. 

Just watching it made Astarion feel like he was in the back of a dark theater watching the lead seduce their co-star. How he wished it were him on stage with them instead. The thought made him prickle, why would he long to be in Alfira’s place? Perhaps there was more magic in their voice than he realized, he convinced himself as he covered his face with a gloved hand. That must have been it, Tav must be using magic on the poor girl. He could appreciate the sadism, and surely these strange feelings were simply an unintended side effect, a charm Tav thought only Alfira was present to be placed under, perhaps that was his punishment for snooping.

Astarion was lost in thought and hidden away as the bards played on. Alfira joined in with her own voice as the verses repeated, the two harmonizing pleasantly. Tav’s voice drew Astarion’s attention back as the tune shifted, slowing as Tav came to the end. 

The two tiefling sat nearly nose to nose, the song slowly pulling them closer together and as the last line repeated, slowing to a finish. Alfira lingered in Tav’s breath. Without a word she leaned in, closing that small distance to kiss them and Tav followed in turn. It was chaste, simple, and sweet. Her voice breathed out against Tav’s lips as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“Thank you.” Her lips still brushed against Tav’s before the two sat back. Alfira fixed her hair and let her hands settle back in her lap while Tav still held their lute in their strange seated legs, relaxed and satisfied. “I feel… Inspired.”

Tav’s tail wiggled in delight behind them and out of sight of Alfira, but it was all too in view of Astarion. They placed a hand over their heart and bowed with the lute. “I’m honored to be your muse.” Their words melted the girl with ease, it was starting to be cruel, especially towards him. He could have played along with this, the two of them toying with the girl together, it was frankly selfish of them to have kept her to themself.

Tav stood, swinging their lute over their shoulder with their pack. “I should find my companions, but I hope the next time we meet you’ll play something new for me.”

Alfira nodded, her cheeks still dark as Tav made their heart race. “Yes, I’ll be sure to have something, perhaps… I’ll even write a song about you.”

“I’d be honored.” Tav bowed, their performance so smooth and convincing, they were good at this. “Until then, take care.” Tav saunted off towards the sacred pool, their tail now composed as their back faced Alfira while their face gave away their boyish cheer. “Still got it.” They hummed as they licked their lips, remembering the sensation, the thrum of their heart, the look in Alfira’s eyes. It was intoxicating to bring so much life to someone. Tav was so lost in the intoxication of it all that they walked straight into Astarion, who had simply stepped out from behind a tree. 

Astarion didn’t budge as Tav stumbled back, almost losing their balance from the collision. They blinked a few times as they recovered, a snide smile greeting them from Astarion once they had. “Well, Looks like you were having fun.”

Tav’s confident smile lingered as curiosity joined their expression. “I did. Sorry for not inviting you. You were having so much fun hissing at the children, I didn’t want to disturb you.”

He’d not expected an apology and took it as a slight, his tongue clicking sharply in response as he crossed his arms. “A bit cruel, don’t you think? Playing with the poor girl’s heart like that. I can appreciate the sadism but to say I’d expected it from you,” He shook his head, tsking sharply three times as he did so. 

Tav sighed, tilting their head in response, almost disappointed. “I don’t expect you to get it,” They said as they walked, waiting for him to follow. The two found a place to sit, watching the druids at work as they spoke. “Was I being a hollow flirt, sure, but I don’t mind being that to give her a moment that makes her remember that life can be beautiful and musical and magic again after such great hurt.” They were being honest, but he refused to believe. “It’s not cruel, I’m a healer. It’s healing via performance.” Their deflection faltered though. Sure, maybe it was cruel, they tried not to think about that.

His eyes turned to Tav as they tried to talk their way out of it. He’d caught them in a truly tender moment they were trying to brush off as nothing, and had only indulge in for indulgence’s sake. They really weren’t so different, Tav just brought their feelings into it. They’d learn not to eventually. He let that thought go, and hoped it never came back. He didn’t want to think that they might be birds of a feather, that he might not have the advantage in this. “That’s a bit delusional, don’t you think?” He prodded back, poking at the mound and hoping an owlbear wasn’t underneath.

“Delusion comes with the trade.” This was worse, not something that could overpower him with awful force, but a peer on equal footing in the world of deception and power hungry monsters. There was an absence of fear that one might mistake for foolishness, but the flash of a hidden tiger’s eyes is not a foolish tell from the tiger. It is a warning. “I did no harm, if anything I was stocking the dying embers of her creativity. We will go our separate ways and she will have a nice moment to think back on with a fellow in her craft. Tell me how that’s cruel?”

“Is it not cruel for you to fake such a thing?” His projection was peeking through and Tav could tell.

They shook their head. “It wasn’t fake, it was just fun and we both knew it. Nothing serious, nothing deep, just comfort for comfort’s sake.” Their eyes were still out on the ritual, coming back each time to the door to Kahga’s chambers. “Say… remember what you suggested the other night?”

Astarion’s interest peaked. “About… the druid?” His fanged smile grew wide. Of course he remembered suggesting they kill her.

“I just… have a feeling something else is going on here. This whole ritual just… smells wrong.” Their eyes turned back to him. “What would you say about maybe… sifting through her valuables?”

“Darling,” He leaned closer, planting a hand just behind them on the bench. He was playing with them now, seeing how well they liked their own poison. “If you wanted my forgiveness, you could have just tilted your head. But how could I say no to blackmail?”

A hint of a flush came to Tav’s cheeks as they stared at him, captivated by the act but not believing it. “I should get changed then.” They said as they snapped their fingers and cast disguise self. They didn’t change much, their horns vanishing and sclera turning white. Their scars and tattoos vanished, leaving them plane faced. The now Elven looking Tav had warm skin now, though just as dark, they were simply a slight alteration of themself. “That should be easier.” They beamed.

Astarion stood, offering his hand to them. Tav took it in a show, playing along, before the two made their way into the underground chamber. Astarion held a hand out to stop Tav as they lingered in the shadows. A finger pressed to his lips as he cast invisibility on them and pulled his hood up, the magic cloaking him as well. Shielded from the gaze of the druids, the two began to look through the back rooms, finding bedrolls and books, cups and bowls, but nothing too worldly. 

As the magic began to vanish, Astarion pulled Tav into a small nook behind a bookcase. The two pressed into the shadows as a druid passed. Once the coast was clear and they’d each began to look around for their next move, Tav noticed a chest tucked in the dark. They tried to open it but it was locked. The sound drew Astarion’s attention quickly and he wordlessly knelt beside the chest. It was so easy for him to crack open the most difficult locks, they’d come to like that about him even as he cracked open a few of their own.

The chest popped open loudly, the druid on the other side of the room squinting in their direction. “Is someone there?”

Tav and Astarion looked to each other and without a word, Astarion stood and pinned them to the wall. The way they stood blocked the trunk from view, while his arm pressed against the wall beside their face shielded Tav’s illusion from scrutiny. He quickly leaned in towards them so the first the druid saw was him pulling away from what looked like a much more intimate scene. “Do you mind?” His tone was enough to drive the druid away, the man recoiling and exiting the room quickly in irritation. 

With a soft sigh of relief they each relaxed from their posing and turned their attention to their spoils. Tav opened the chest to a book and a letter, reading them quickly. “This…” They scanned the letter before passing it back to Astarion and opening the book. The letter was an invitation for Kahga to meet a writer whose name was unfamiliar. As Tav read the book they fell silent, their concentration breaking on the illusion before they silently passed the book back to Astarion. It detailed the ritual Kahga was in the process of doing. It was a baneful ritual of shadow druid magic.

Tav stared up at Astarion, worry clear on their face. Still silent, Astarion pointed to the location on the letter. They both knew it, near the hag’s tea house. He’d offer them his hand and they’d take it, the two vanishing from the druid chambers.

Outside the grove Astarion paced about as Tav sat on a rock. “We could just leave it be?” Astarion suggested, smiling back to them as they shot him an unamused look.

“Or,” They nodded back towards the grove. “We expose her for what she is and collect a reward. I’m sure these druids have some pretty magical items.”

“You have a treasure problem.” He said with a bit more of a serious look. “Karlach can’t carry everything you find in her pack.”

Tav pouted. “But Astarion,” They bat their eyes as they tilted their head, giving him a pretty view of the curve of their neck. “You’re the one that suggested we kill her.”

His jaw shifted in a circular motion as he pondered his reaction. “... Fine.” He sighed, turning towards the path back to the bog. “Step quickly!” He’d call back, Tav hopping off the rock and running to catch up to him.

The two scampered off towards the bog, both light on their feet as they hopped from broken docks to muddy banks. They found an abandoned camp along the way, the blood of those who’d set their things there still visible in the grass, yet there Tav went looking through their packs.

“Please explain this to me,” Astarion gestured to them as he leaned against a tree. “You’ll take a deadman’s valuables, and you want to save some refugees from a corrupt druid too?”

Tav laughed a little as they took the strings off the lute by the fire, picking the instrument apart for parts. “Dead folks don’t miss things like lute strings and potatoes, and if I can ruin a racist’s life, why not?” They looked back at him. “Besides, exposing her will gain us trust with the druids. They might reward us with gold or arms, or healing aid once this goblin mess is over. Either way, it’s beneficial for us to make friends, even if it's just the kind of friends you call for a fight.”

The logic was sound, but it was so much effort. He rolled his eyes in exaggerated annoyance as he groaned. “Don’t make ‘do gooding’ make sense to me, you witch.”

“Then don’t think about that,” They said as they stood, sauntering over to him. “Focus on all that frustration you’re going to take out on my neck later.”

“Is that a promise?” Astarion’s mischievous grin had returned. He was easily bought. 

“You deserve a good drink after working so hard.” They were so close now, if he just reached out a little he could reach them, but he didn’t. He fought the impulse, not wanting to invite their touch in return. He would lean in, practically nose to nose with them, teasing Tav in a desperate attempt to regain the power between them.

“Then let’s go. I’m starving.” They two slipped deeper into the bog, to a set of islands and a dead tree. They followed the instructions in the letter, finding the hiding spot in the tree and waiting for the creatures of the island to turn their backs. Astarion pulled his hood up again and cloaked himself from view. He spun past the weird little creatures of the bog, some sort of plant thing and these long nosed winged pests, holding himself back from making sound in disgust of them. 

Tav would watch the nook in the tree open, some papers slip out and vanish and then there was nothing. They couldn’t even pick up his footprints as he came back to them. A slipped around them holding their mouth shut as the spell ended and Astarion took form again. He held their face firmly, pulling their head back against his chest as his other hand held out the letters. Tav silently nodded back the way they came, and the two ran back to the blighted village before ever looking at their prize.

Once they were out of the bog, Tav looked over the letter Astarion had pulled from the tree. It was damning alright, plain proof of Kahga working with the shadow druids to massacre the grove. Tav shook their head as a smile bloomed across their lips. “This is perfect.” They tapped the page before looking over to Astarion.

He’d been watching them, but was taken aback as Tav reached around him, grabbing the back of his hair and pulling him in to kiss his cheek. There was something innocent and joyous about it, like athletes celebrating a goal. 

“You were brilliant!” They cheered against his cheek before he pulled away sharply.

Astarion didn’t push them, but the look on his face told Tav to let go, and they did. He looked embarrassed, confused even, Tav had not intended that. “Don’t just kiss a man without warning. Where are you manners?”

Tav studied his face as they tilted their head, leaning over to get a better view of the expression he was trying to hide. “Sorry, I’ll ask next time.” Their voice was soft and true if not a bit playful still. They were just as much of a flirt as him. Tav stood with new found enthusiasm, still holding the letter. “We need to go back to camp and tell the others what we’ve found.”

[1d1195]

I LITERALLY SPENT ALL DAY READING HONEY DURING ALL MY FREE TIME AND UGHHHH☹️🫶🫶🫶🫶 THEYRE SOOOOO CUTE my goodness when he went down in the towel, PLS SHES SO MUCH STRONGER THAN ME I WOULDVE FOLDED FASTER THAN A LAWN CHAIR✋

I WAS SO SCARED THEY WERE GOING TO TAKE BABY CECE🥺 but MC was too smart for them so ofc not. THE HALLUCINATING ??? AND HIM BEING THE REASON SHE GOT OUT ???😭😭😭 GOSH i can imagine her telling him that after some time and he just…. bawls. because that is SO precious. AND HOW SHE KNEW IN SOME WAY THAT HE WAS CLOSE BY UGHHHH

IM PRETTY SURE I GOT THAT PAPER KITES SONG RECOMMENDED TO ME ON APPLE MUSIC BECAUSE OF PAINT AND HOW MUCH IVE LISTENED TO IT SINCE U SENT IT SO I KNEW I HAD TO SHARE, SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT <3333

(i know EXACTLYYYY what you mean. like, i can love a song and listen to it all the time but the second i hear something too much on the radio its just…no. HAHAHA. ALSOOOO THERE IS DEF SOMETHING ABT HIS SONG LET IT GO BECAUSE I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING)

honestly i don’t even know, everyone is probably so done with me and my bs. i don’t want to sound ungrateful because things are so awesome but i just have NOT been feeling myself here at all. i don’t want to go out anywhere or see anybody, im so done with being perceived😭 the people we know are just wayyy to judgy, talking to them is literally draining. i’m always soooo tired, for some reason my hormones are different here and i went through the. ABSOLUTE. WORST. PMS-ING. LIKE… TERRIBLE. and things with my dad are :/// (when are they not though pfftt) i feel like my days are the same?? the only thing that changes are my outfits but i have this weird feeling like my life is on pause when it should be the opposite. i’m feeling veryyyy nostalgic for fall-winter last year.

i LOVE enjoying the little things, it really does make your day-to-day life just a little better. shifting your closet is soooo cool girl, i feel like you just get to enjoy the different times of year more wholly, you know ? COFFEE HERE IS TERRIBLE IM SO JEALOUS I MISS MY DAILY ICED COFFEE😭😭 and gilmore girls is ALWAYS right🫶 i hope you find time to read soon, other than a fanfic here and there i haven’t been reading either, i brought a bunch of books with me that are literally just sitting on a shelf. BUT I 100% GET WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT READING A CERTAIN PART OF A BOOK JUST TO FEEL SOMETHING, i am unfortunately VERY guilty of this😞🫣 wishing you and your book boyfriends a very happily ever after 😉 AHH NOT A WEDDING😭😭😭 HAHAHA i do hope you end up having a ton of fun tho. and is it just me, or is there always a certain, something in the air when it reaches this time of year?? just a different kind of craziness than the rest of the year.

you are an absolute sweetheart and I WANTED TO TELL YOU, MY SISTER ABSOLUTELY ADORED LOVE & OTHER WORDS. LIKE, SHE WAS OBSESSED WITH IT. and i was all “omg yeahhh a friend recommended it to me☺️😌” BECAUSE WE AREEE FRIENDS !!!

i think the ranting got a lil out of hand so i’m sorry about that but THANK YOU FOR BEING SO AWESOME AND FUN TO TALK TO, IM SENDING YOU ALLLLL THE LOVE, MWAHHHHH

~🎶

Ma'am you give me some of the best ideas for check-ins. MAKING HARRY BAWL HIS EYES OUT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PAST TIMES. She's way stronger than me, I would have pulled that towel clean off and had a different kind of breakfast.

Idk how many hours it's been but I haven't moved on from this Paper Kites song, I'll check back in when I move onto Gregory and James.

Things can be going well and you can still feel out of sorts. I really struggle with going out and being social. I have a pretty small social battery. Also dads are the worst more often than not. I'm convinced. My bf was telling my best friend some stories about some of my rage fits I've had in the past (they still happen but they're not as bad as of late) and I'll tell you exactly what (WHO) the common denominator was in each story. Are you still out of the country at this point? Will you be coming back home soon(ish)? I honestly feel like you're homesick, maybe? Being on pause is difficult. It adds to the drained feeling. Hopefully something changes so you can get back into the swing of things and start feeling less stuck 💕

My sister did a semester abroad in europe and I know europe specifically is weird about ice. Or maybe I'm just INSANE (obvi) because I love ice so much. I want my drink cold. I probs use more ice than liquid but I don't even care. ANYWAY. Upon reading more of your message, I kind of feel like you're going through iced coffee withdrawals and if you had one all your emotions would be cured (I hope you're reading this sarcastically because of course I'm joking because I know it's more than that, but I'm hoping you know what I mean). I'm almost certain coffee fixes everything.

Me and my book bfs will def live happily ever after. The -ber months are so busy. It's insane. There's def something in the air.

I LOVE THAT SHE LOVED IT AND OF COURSE WE'RE FRIENDS 💕 I sincerely think it's one of the best books I've ever read. I had an idea to write about Harry based off it. Maybe one day. It's lost to the drafts along with a 100 other things I want to write 😭

This is a ranting blog and there's no such thing as out of hand. I'm so happy to hear from you. I was missing you so much 💕

xoxo

[chaotically-coz]

Entry #1, sep 11 2024.

Dear diary,

Yeah.. i dont really know what im trying to do here, but i suck at venting so i guess this is a better way for me to actually say stuff.

Saying ‘dear diary’ sounds kinda weird tbh, im probably gonna come up with a new name or something, idk

Uhh… today hasnt exactly been the best, it wasn’t the worst either.

I woke up late and ended up being like- 40 minutes late to school. I dont feel like being yelled at by my teacher, especially considering the fact ive already been late several times, and its only the first day!

Anyways, i pulled the ‘i threw up’ card and managed to skip… i know i shouldnt have. I shouldnt have faked my way out of school.. i dont know why but i just cant go back to seeing that look of disappointment.

We’re only about 5 days into school and i already feel like im disappointing everybody i know. Irl friends have noticed ive seemed different in school.. i just feel so out if it lately. Almost like im.. not really there? Like im moving in third person. Like a part of me just feels.. empty. Im trying, i really am!

I think one of my closest friends saw my scars the other day… thats not good. I know she saw them, i pulled my arm away and we never discussed it but still,,

A lot of my other friends have been distant.. one of them i have like, no classes with. The other one moved away.. i have most of my classes with the same people, i guess seeing the same people over and over is getting tiring.

I can feel myself falling behind in subjects, but im seriously trying!! I cant help but zone out- or get distracted. I cant pick up the teaching or understand ni matter how hard i try. Ive suspected i had ADHD for a while, pretty sure my friends have too. Im too terrified to ask my mom for a proper diagnosis, and i dont want to self diagnose myself, so i guess ill just wait untill everybody stops thinking im stupid and actually suspect things.

Aaaaanyways, i didnt do much today aside from staying home. I watched tv most of the day, which i know is lazy but like… my chromebook charger is broken so i cant really do much else. I could go outside or take a walk. I know i need to practice for cheer and dance.

I did my brothers hair today, that was really funny, we screamed the lyrics to stupid songs.

The thought, “am i forgettable?” Has been playing through my mind alot. Like.. i know that im chaotic and an arsonist and whatever but.. what else?

Is that really all there is to me? What am i really like? Do people view me how i view myself? I guess I’ll never really know the true answers.

I just.. i feel so forgettable. Like.. if i dissapeared.. nobody would notice. I just.. idk.

I dont feel like myself. I wanna feel normal.. i dont care if ‘normal’ meant a being of chaos and destruction, and pretty mentally ill.. atleast i felt like a person. I’d rather feel like that than feel so empty.. i dont like this.

Ive gained weight.. talking abt stuff like this on the internet is kinda eughhhh but still. I feel like i need to vomit every time i eat.. or just stop eating.. i dont feel comfortable in my body anymore.

I’m trying to stop venting so much, i feel like im beginning to do it too much, and people are getting tired of me.

Drama club starts on friday!! Im pretty excited for that. I cant wait to get back into theater.

Uhhhh yeah! Theres a bunch more but idk how much i can fit into one entry, its pretty late so im probably sleeping soon. I guess thats it!

Entry completed

[gaycavendish]

Ok ok ONE more question abt Time Travelers Trio. Are Cavendish and Dakota still time Travelers as well at this point, or have they like retired or smth? Just curious as to what's up with them? :^D

finally going to answer this question! i have thought long and hard about it and come up with two answers: the short one and the deranged rambling one!

the short, less satisfying answer being: i think it could go either way! i really truly could see them either scrambling their way back into time traveling or finding jobs in the 21st century. Although.. i find the latter choice not quite as entertaining. So i prefer to think on the idea of them returning to time travel!

Now, The long answer:

(TLDR for it first: I think they may continue time traveling. Eventually Cavendish & Dakota start their own, rival to the time bureau, Time Traveling Agency. Whether the trio will be part of this agency is undecided but a probable yes.)

ok, so, theyre banned from time travel, full stop... But i mean, they know the guy who INVENTED it. its a silly solution, really & truly very goofy (although i think in line with the silliness of dwampyverse overall) but .. They could ask doof to make a rule that theyre allowed to continue time traveling. Total oversight by block to trap them in the century where doof invents time travel. Of course block wouldn't just Let this happen, or anything, but cartoon shenanigans ensue and im sure you can picture something sufficiently entertaining and set to the scooby-doo-door-chase song here.

The interest for me in this theory lies also in what dakota and cavendish would do up until the point where they return to time traveling! Trying to imagine them working regular jobs for like, a 10-15 year period.. i simply cannot.! The one ive found myself having the most fun thinking about is the idea of them helping out with the creation of the time machine, as well as coaching the trio on it a bit once they start testing doof's prototypes (although, theyre not the best people to ask for time traveling help i imagine HAHA). But in any case.. i also think they would change what they do with their time traveling quite a bit. I mean, neither of them WANT to do the pistachio stuff.. It's shown you can travel through time AND space, although they never leave the planet on screen (for pistachio purposes i would think). If they were in charge of their own missions, i quite think they would be doing much more exciting things! and. hopefully dying less...! CAVENDISH...

OK I SWEAR IM GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS. Because at this point i feel they are getting old and perhaps wishing to do something less dangerous.. Ok get ready for this.. This has been my favorite thing to think about today... What if they started their OWN time travel agency! A Ha! I might find this more exciting than other people, but nonetheless, i think its fitting. I mean, Block is a terrible boss. The bureau of time travel was never very kind to cav and dakota, and given that they have the resources (Doofenschmirtz! Love That Guy!) why not, right? plus, this gives the opportunity for some Secret Agency vs Secret Agency goodness. Which I always love. I only thought of this concept recently, but It's definitely my favorite of the bunch, so probably what I'll go with! Just left to decide whether the trio are part of this agency or not (probably yes).

[flambo19]

hey! im back! 2.3 story thoughts!

but before that I got e1s1 firefly :3 might go for e2 depending on how i feel

Found Family Stellaron Hunters My Beloved

Jade, Topaz, and Oti: Discussing shares and money or whatever the fuck. Me: *eating popcorn and understanding maybe half of it*

Getting an outside perspective on the Trailblazer's shenanigans was a treat. TB is no longer silent and is a menace

Loved the Firefly sections (what a surprise) and it was nice to see more of her thought process and attitude. She desperately wants to fight against her predetermined end and live the life she wants. She deserves everything including all my jades

Also! The Stellaron Hunters (or most likely Elio with the rest by association) follow the Finality! Pretty sure everyone expected this but. Wild!

The group chat was fantastic. I will never get over Ratio going "k" and then leaving immediately (and of course still helping later)

I got spoiled on the buttons being fireworks so the tension for Firefly's "sacrifice" was not really there but the cutscene? Beautiful. Can't believe SAM princess carrying the Trailblazer is now canon

The new song is really nice as well. Idk how to explain it but the start with the piano reminds me of Beyond the Sky from Xenoblade 1 lol

SILVER WOLF HIRED SPARKLE TO KEEP FIREFLY OUT OF DANGER SHES A FUCKING SAP I LOVE FOUND FAMILY STELLARON HUNTERS

The final goodbyes and toasts got me emotional. All the Astral Express having things to say, March's little speech, and Pom-pom's crying. I love the Nameless so much

Also the final page of the Penacony guidebook reveals that the writer was Razalina. I'm glad she got something since she was the Nameless with the least going on in the story

I apparently missed an interesting scene with Acheron because I pressed the wrong dialogue option... It sounds like it was a HI3 reference so maybe it wouldn't have meant much to me anyway

So Jade broke out Sunday because of a deal with Robin. They drill it into you that Jade has some pretty harsh deals so what did Robin give up then? I've seen the theory that Robin gave up the memories of/connection with her brother and 🥺 terrified of being hit with even more sibling tragedy

One hole in this is that Robin on the Express mentions Sunday. I know that these aren't super canon or anything but it feels like a discrepancy worth noting (note: i am coping)

And Stellaron Hunter Sunday is a pretty popular theory at this point. Wonder how that's all gonna go down and if it will even happen like that in the end. The possibility that he will decide to continue with his ideals and not change despite being beaten in with the power of friendship (and a train)? I'm honestly interested in the idea, it feels like the opposite of what people would expect

Trailblazer: I can fix him. Elio (or Jade?): Well I can make him worse watch this

Overall it really felt like a fitting send off to Penacony that also set up a bunch of stuff that can show up in future quests (which is exactly what I thought would be the case)

[aether-friskets]

wip questionnaire tag game yay

thanks @ap0stle for tagging me in this!! :D

The WIP im gonna talk about is uh. well it doesnt really have a name i just call it "that game i want to finish eventually" or "the survival horror game idea" lol, I'm bad with names so itll prob remain that way for a while

What's the First Part of Your WIP that You Created?

I can't recall exactly when this was, but I remember I was specifically listening to this video which, judging by its age, would've been around 2 years ago now. Something about the black and red blair witch game art used as the cover (which, i... totally legally... played that game out of curiosity later on, wasnt big on it as a blair witch fan or a horror fan in general, but you will see one little element from it as one of a few inspiration points for whats kind of becoming a major mechanic in my game at this point lol) mixed with the music itself gave me this mental image of someone driving on a road through the woods with that very black and red lighting, and i had this feeling that they were looking for someone. That's technically the very vague basis that sprouted into my game idea, which has changed a lot since then, and now I don't think a scene like that will even happen. Aside from that, my first concept that's actually stuck around, is the protag looking for their sibling (usually my brain leans sister so i may go that route, but i tend to imagine characters w/out gender in mind til later lol) and sorta ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time as a result. I have some more stuff in mind of course, but a lot of stuff is still pretty vague lol

If Your Story Was a TV Show, What Would the Theme Song/Intro Be?

Oh man this is such a fun thing to think about conceptually, I feel like the WIP is almost too much of a WIP to be sure... But it'd probably have to feel very 2000s, maybe have some kind of industrial edge? Something to capture the idea of an ordinary person descending into something they couldn't possibly be prepared for i guess loll Those things aren't necessary, but the setting is mainly going to be in this as yet unnamed city during the mid-late 2000s? I haven't settled on the exact year yet so that may not be fully accurate lol. The game probably will get some kind of intro style thing, because I absolutely LOVE that in the silent hill games (and also twilight princess had something like that!! which is very nostaglic for me lol) so I think it would be awesome to do in mine lol I feel like the closest I've heard to the vibe I imagine are like. 1. Into to The Mine from Lost in Vivo 2. Broken ALSO from Lost in Vivo (i swear something abt the music in this game just has the vibes) 3. Theme Of... by Drackfreeee I guess it makes sense because it's a silent hill inspired song that you can even hear bits from the game's intros in there but. man. it's got a dreamlike quality that fits the more surreal elements i have in mind well, plus i can totally imagine it playing in an intro thing showing a bunch of scenes from the game and setting that scene of descent When i get to that point in making the game, ill probably look back at songs like these for ideas on what'll work

What Are Your Favourite Characters You Made, and Why?

Since this thing is still so much a WIP, I don't have a tonnn figured out about the characters, so it's kinda hard to pick. But I can talk a little about what I DO have figured out! As I said previously, the protag is gonna be looking for their sibling. The basic idea being that they're visiting their sibling in this new city they've never been to before, and things go all wacky sideways real fast. I feel like I'm either gonna love 'em or hate 'em because due to the unintentionally personal nature of this story that I've been embracing more as time went on, they're probably gonna be the most like me out of the cast. I'm hoping to make them an enjoyable protagonist to play as tho, not annoying but not TOO bland or anything. The sibling is probably gonna end up reflecting a lot of my sister, cause, as i said, accidentally personal story that I'm kinda just embracing at this point lol. I wanna not make any of the characters 100% like a single person I know, so I'll probably mix in traits from other people I like lmaooo. but we'll see what they're like by the end. One thing i already DO know is I really wanna circumvent the idea of the person you're trying to find/save being this "damsel in distress" type, so I think it'd be great if when you finally reunite, they're dealing with the whole situation way better than you LMAO. or at least on par. The hardest part about that tho... Is I'll probably have to make a half-decently competent partner NPC for that part of the game... I've also had this idea for a guy based on a dream I had. I think they will be playing a part but I'm not sure yet, as stuff is still very vague at this point. The idea is of someone who is "helping" you for part of the game, only to fuck you over later on because, what can I say, I love the heartbreak of getting totally screwed over by a character you trusted sometimes :3 The idea being you'd make remote contact early on and they'd promise to help lead you to your sibling but in reality either A) they've just been trying to lead you to your death subtly lmaooo or B) more likely option, theyre tricking you into helping them instead, and then will leave you for dead once you actually help them. I feel like it'd be fun to write a guy who is a total opportunist and probably a smug asshole, idk lol There will probably be other characters? but these are the only ones I have in mind so far, and as you can tell, they arent very fleshed out at all yet

What Other Pieces of Media do You Think Your Fanbase Would Share?

Jeez, the idea of garnering any kind of fanbase in and of itself is kind of cool but scary lol I figure they'd probably like a lot of the stuff that's inspiring me in the first place, like Silent Hill (duh), Cry of Fear, Jacob's Ladder, a bit o' Twin Peaks... Basically if you like some guy going through some weird fuckin' psychological shit lmaoo More specifically, i want the vibes of stuff like. standing in a subway station at a weird hour, feeling like the only person left on the planet. Opening a door into a room that shouldn't logically connect. Cryptic phone calls and texts that don't seem like a person would make them. Desperately trying to reach someone, to find the answers, but it seems like the place itself is fighting against you. Stuff like that, I guess

What Has Been Your Biggest Struggle With Your WIP?

Man, what hasn't? I don't have much experience making games so I'm learning a lot mechanically as I go, but I also have never properly finished an entire original story before. I think the main thing, is like... I'm scared whatever I create will feel too derivative of the works that inspired me, that the thing I create will ultimately fade into the shadow of other things that did it better. So every time I have a new idea, I worry about if it'll come off too much like [x thing] and that's been making the process even slower loll Aside from that, I know the character's primary goal, and I have certain locations I think would be cool to include, but I don't know SHIT about any of the details of getting from the start to the end and what will fall in-between, which does make it tricky lol. I need to really consider what kind of path I want them to follow, and what will happen after they reach their goal, stuff like that. It's all just very vague right now and trying to work out the details is almost intimidating even tho thats the main part of making a story.

Are There any Animals in Your Story? Talk About Them!

At the moment? Not that I'm aware of. There may likely be enemies with animal-like appearances, though. I could see that being a thing I do. But I haven't really gotten into monster design just yet.

How do Your Characters Travel/Get Around?

At the moment I'm suspecting primarily on foot, however my concept for the intro of the game involves the protag taking the subway. So there may be some subway shenanigans too, idk.

What Part of Your WIP Are You Working on Right Now?

I'd say the main reason the story is still so vague, is I've been trying to get the main technical/mechanical elements set up before I get too much into the details. Or maybe I'm just stalling. So, I'd say I'm mainly working on stuff surrounding the non-story parts of the game. But in terms of the story, I want to flesh out the protag and the sibling more into proper characters first and foremost, I'd say.

What Aspects (Tropes, Maybe?) do You Think Will Draw Your Audience in?

I'll be real I got no idea but... I guess if I think about it from the perspective of what I think would draw me in from an outside view...

Use of classic survival horror stuff like fixed camera angles (plus I'm going to have both tank and analog controls so more people can enjoy it :])

Putting a guy in A Situation

The general atmosphere and setting (as I sorta said, mid-late 2000s urban enviro with weird illogical stuff happening and potentially kind of dream-like elements, i hesitate to say liminal but maybe a bit liminal? I also want to go for a ps2-ish graphics quality cause i feel like its criminally underrated lol and some people may feel like me on that part and like that)

Vaguely queer protag? like i said i dont have much fleshed out but if they're gonna be based on me at all u KNOW that bitch aint gonna feel cis or straight i'm sorry it's simply fact (also admittedly I've been wanting to make them like some kinda genderqueer or somethin because its my video game and i can do what i want, and seeing human protags that are nonbinary in some way gives me life)

Weird-ass shit??? like if you vibe with weird silent hill dialogue or the weird stuff that just. happens in twin peaks, im hoping to bring a similar energy in my own way

Possibly more stuff as I flesh things out more lol

What Are Your Hopes For Your WIP?

Honestly I just hope I make something that I feel proud of. I wanna make something that makes someone feel the same way that stuff like Silent Hill, Cry of Fear, Lost in Vivo, Twilight Princess, hell, UNDERTALE did, where that shit changes you. Where you can feel the love for the genre or medium it's based upon. But at the very least, I just hope at least one person likes it, I guess That'd be enough for me

Uhhh erm I have no idea who to tag I am so bad at this part.... If you want to do this consider yourself tagged :]