#and im sorry it took me so long to find this in my inbox!

[polyamorouscultureis]

Hey, this is the anon that had a queerplatonic crush on their and their partner's best friend and was having trouble addressing the topic. Firstly, I brought it up to my partner in a very, very long talk where I basically explained all the ways that I personally experience love as an arospec person, as well as the nuances where romantic love in our relationship comes into play. Then, I also explained a lot of what I would personally define a queerplatonic relationship as, and we discussed our boundaries and preferences too, and then I told them about it being our mutual best friend and they reacted so positively aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I later brought up the topic with our best friend by asking them how comortable they were with having multiple qpps and they were down for it, and then they talked it out with their own partner and mine, and uh-

I guess I'm still super flustered over everything and my brain kind of hurts right now because my stomach has been running inside of me everywhere!!!! So, so many emotions!!! I also kind of cried too- But yeah, I guess they're my qpp now, and I'm so happy because I love both of my partners a bunch. How on earth did I get lucky enough to meet not one but two of the most amazing humans ever and have them become such important parts of my life?? Also, my qpp's partner is also just really sweet and amazing too. The people in my life are so awesome, I am going to cry.

Awww this is too sweet!! I'm so happy for you anon!! Thanks so much for the update, I'm so glad everything worked out 😊❤️

[callme-holly]

Hello!! Maybe you could write headcannons with the gang that have a s/o who’s getting picked on? Thank you!!

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐚���𝐠 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐒/𝐎 𝐖𝐡𝐨’𝐬 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐎𝐧

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - I go back to school in like 2 days... yay, im so thrilled... Also I'm so sorry this took be so long to get to, my inbox is crazy right now but I swear I will get to everyone eventually !! Anyways, hope ya'll enjoy and as always my asks are still open for requests!!

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 864 words

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - mentions of being jumped and fighting, that's it

Darry Curtis - 

If Darry found out you were getting picked on by someone, he would go mental

Like he’d be pissed

He’d instantly want to know who it is who’s giving you trouble 

If it’s the socs bothering you you best believe he’s walking everywhere with you 

His concern would go through the roof 

Darry doesn’t strike me as a typically violent person but if whoever is bothering you decides to jump you/cause you any physical harm, you best believe he’s starting something 

If you’re upset, please let him take care of you, it’ll help calm him down somewhat

Sodapop Curtis - 

If Soda finds out someone’s giving you trouble, he’ll instantly feel guilty

He takes it as his job to look after you and by someone hurting you either physically or verbally, he can’t help but feel like he’s let you down a little

He’ll get Steve to track down whoever it is who’s picking on you; you won’t have to worry about them anymore <33

He’ll cuddle with you for ages to try and make you feel better (although it’s mainly to help reassure himself that you’re okay) 

Much like Darry, Soda will walk you everywhere

This boy will not risk leaving your side and if anyone so much as looks your way, he’s giving them a dirty look and pulling you in the opposite direction 

Ponyboy Curtis - 

Pony will feel horrible and a little annoyed when you tell him you’re getting picked on

If it’s the socs giving you trouble, he’s mad

He’ll walk you to and from places and will try to comfort you best he can

If it’s kids from school, he’s got your back 

Pony will defend your case no matter what and if someone so much as says anything about you, he’s shutting them down with some smart comment real fast

And if you get jumped? Oh boy, he feels awful 

He knows what it’s like to get jumped first hand and he’d never wish it upon anyone

He’d get Dallas to have a “word” with whoever it is bothering you and chances are, you won’t see them again after that 

Johnny Cade - 

Johnny gets so upset when he hears that someone is picking on you but he also gets really angry 

Like, you don’t deserve anything bad that comes to you and he will do anything to protect you

I feel like people really down-play his character like, come on ya’ll, he literally stabbed someone to protect his friend 

If he sees someone giving you grief, he’s standing up for you 

He wouldn’t start a fight, no, but he’s definitely let them know what's up

If you get jumped, he’d comfort you in a heartbeat <33 

You two have got the whole gang backing you both up, so there really isn’t anything to worry about when you’re with Johnny 

Dallas Winston - 

Oh, Dallas… 

When he finds out you’re being picked on, he’s asking for names, appearances, addresses - you name it, this boy wants it

He will fight for you and he will make sure that whoever it is that’s bothering you, learns their lesson

And if you get jumped? He’s arranging a rumble and dragging in the Shepard gang to back him up

He’d walk you everywhere, and I mean everywhere

If you think he’s leaving your side for even a second, you’ve got another thing coming 

He’s got an arm around your waist, your shoulders, his hand in your back pocket and if anyone so much as talks to you, he’s standing behind you, glaring them down

He’s defending you in a heartbeat, no matter who the person is that's giving you grief 

Needless to say, nobody messes with Dallas Winston’s girl, and he’s willing to let everyone know just that 

Steve Randle

Much like Dallas, Steve is asking for names almost instantly 

He will not hesitate to fight someone for you

He gets so defensive on your behalf and will become insanely protective over you

If someone has said or done something to you that really bothered you, he’s comforting you and going after the person in a heartbeat

You’re his number one priority and he wants you to be happy at all times 

You think he’s leaving your side? Nope, no chance

He’s gonna be one step behind you at all times and if he catches anyone giving you problems, they’re in for a rough time 

I’m telling you, he’s shooting everyone dirty ass looks 

If someone so much as says “hello” to you, Steve will be coming up behind you 

“this person giving you trouble, babe?” 

He’s just looking out for you 

Two-bit Mathews - 

The second you tell Two-but you’re being picked on, he’s smothering you with love

He’s not letting you go at all 

He doesn’t want anyone making you think you’re worth less than you are 

Secretly, he’s super pissed that someone would even think to mess with you and if he sees them, he won’t hesitate to confront them 

He’s taking you everywhere you need to go, no complaints <3 

If you get jumped, he will not hesitate to help fix you up before tracking down whoever hurt you

𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬!!

[yiichan]

I'd love to see an almost inverse version of effortlessly- where chan (feels odd to say his name in this context lol) is a submissive stalker- almost pathetic and desperate for the reader to pay attention to him, and by extension, be claimed/posessed by the reader. Think limerence. I'm excited to see what you write next!

😶‍🌫️

pairings. yandere!sub!chan x top!m!reader (ft. jeonghan & vernon). word count. 2.7k genre. yandere, request, smut.

warnings. obsessive behaviour, manipulation, the (in)famous drunk dino and kneeling jeonghan story, stalking, drunk sex, no protection (pull out game, sorry. please use a condom, people, ik mpreg doesn't happen in reality but you might never know), anal fingering, biting, chan is feral, reader is younger (idk but i feel like lee chan should be a hyung here), oral sex (chan receiving), use of drugs.

writer's notes. it took me a long time to figure out how i should write this. i might have went out of the theme im sorry hehe. normally im all down for bottom chan (esp wonchan or allchan) but i prefer uke male readers (rip my current and future ocs' and readers' asses). i hope that you are satisfied with this, though. let me know about your thoughts through my inbox, the anon who sent this in!

mentioning my imperial beta reader, @sousydive

network: @mansaenetwork

masterlist | navigation | main page | kofi | ao3

Chan needs you like a fish needs water.

You are his air, his world, his everything. His heart races wildly every time he catches a glimpse of you walking down the lecture hall.

But his love—no, his obsession—runs far deeper than simple admiration. He knows everything about you: your schedule, your favorite seat in the lecture hall, the snacks you nibble on between classes. He’s memorized the little quirks that make you you—the way you twist your pen between your fingers when lost in thought, the slight tilt of your head as you read, the soft furrow of your brows when something puzzles you.

Before he even realizes it, his phone is in his hand, snapping another photo of you. A snapshot of you deep in thought. Another of you sitting alone at the cafeteria. One of you walking home.

And then, there’s the one that sends his pulse racing the most—a picture of you standing by your window, reaching out to close it.

The pictures are printed and carefully pinned across the walls of his room, a shrine dedicated to you. Chan has convinced himself it isn’t wrong. He’s not hurting anyone, after all. He just wants to keep a part of you close, something to hold onto during the hours you’re out of reach.

But it isn’t enough.

The pictures, the fleeting glimpses of you, the stolen moments he captures through his camera lens—they only feed the growing void inside him. He needs more. He craves more.

He doesn’t just want to watch from the shadows anymore. He wants you to see him. To look at him the way he looks at you. To need him the way he needs you.

You were looking at your phone when you bumped into someone.

“I’m so sorry!” you quickly apologized, boxes tumbling to the ground as papers scattered everywhere. The man you knocked onto the floor coughed, peering up at you with narrowed eyes.

“It’s okay. Could you help me find my glasses, please?” His voice was soft and warm—and your heart skipped a beat. You bent down, quickly retrieving a pair of golden-rimmed glasses from the floor, gathering his scattered papers in the process.

You recognized him.

Lee Chan, from the finance department. He was a popular student—quiet, yet effortlessly attractive.

You held out your hand, and Lee Chan grabbed it, using you to pull himself up from the floor. “Thanks.”

“No worries, I wasn’t looking my way…” You passed the papers back to him, scratching the back of your neck in embarrassment. You were slightly taller than him, and as he stood close, you couldn’t help but notice a faint, sweet strawberry-like scent coming from him.

Your ears burned. What were you thinking?

“It’s fine. I wasn’t paying attention either.” Lee Chan pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Oh, I know you. You’re from the sports department, right?”

“Yeah. You’re Lee Chan, right?” You made a quick bow, which he returned. “I didn’t know someone famous in this college would know someone like me, haha.” You tilted your head, scratching at the back of your neck again.

Lee Chan raised a brow, his tone surprised. “Are you trying to brag or something? You’re famous for that baseball match, you know?”

“Am I?” You laughed. Lee Chan nodded.

“Anyway, I should be on my way.” He glanced at his watch, ready to leave. You eyed the boxes and papers still scattered around, feeling guilty about knocking into him.

“Actually, I can help you, you know?” you said, flexing your toned arms with a grin. Before Lee Chan could protest, you quickly grabbed the heavy boxes from his hands. Seeing that you’d left no room for argument, Lee Chan reluctantly allowed you to carry the boxes for him.

By the time you reached the finance department, you had already started calling him "Chan hyung"—a natural transition since you two were now exchanging phone numbers. The walk had been brief, but there was something about the way Chan kept glancing at you, his lips curling into a small smile every time you caught his gaze, that made the air feel charged, even in the mundanity of it all.

"Thanks for helping me out," Chan said once you reached the door. He paused, the corners of his mouth still lifted in that soft, almost shy smile.

You grinned. "No problem, hyung. I’ll see you around, then?"

He nodded, and you gave him a quick wave before heading back towards the sports department.

From that day onward, Chan was always on your mind. You could almost always smell that intoxicating scent of sweet strawberries whenever you walked down the corridors. You found yourself checking Chan’s social media, or searching for his figure when you passed the finance department.

Chan texted you from time to time—sometimes to congratulate you on a game, other times to ask if you'd be up for a casual coffee. You would invite him to watch your games, eagerly looking for his familiar figure among the crowds. 

Until one day, when you got a phone call from him.

You had just finished practice and were washing up at the dorm when your phone rang. Stepping out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around your waist, you quickly checked the caller ID. Your eyes widened when you saw who was calling.

Without hesitation, you answered, putting the phone on loudspeaker as you grabbed another towel to dry your hair. "Chan hyung?" you asked, your voice slightly breathless.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end of the phone was unfamiliar. You frowned, pausing in your actions as you glanced at the screen. The background noise was chaotic—loud music and indistinct chatter. “Sorry, are you Chan’s friend? Could you come pick him up? He’s, uh, really drunk—VERNON! HOLD HIM!—sorry, he’s very, very drunk right now.”

You blinked, your pulse quickening. “Oh.” The unexpected turn of events threw you off balance.

There was a brief pause, and you could hear muffled voices in the background. Whoever was on the phone sounded frazzled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out... but he’s not really making any sense right now. He keeps asking for you. Can you come?”

Your hand tightened around the towel at your waist. Chan, drunk? And asking for you? It was a lot to process in a moment. “Uh, yeah, I’ll be there. Just... send me the address.”

The call ended abruptly, and the address was quickly sent to you. You threw on a casual shirt and black pants, grabbed your jacket and wallet, and headed out of the dorm. You hailed a cab and gave the driver the address.

As you neared your destination, you saw three figures standing at the roadside outside a nightclub. You instructed the cab driver to stop and wait for you, then quickly opened the door and rushed over.

Chan was holding onto a lamppost while one man supported him. The other man was kneeling before him, almost as if begging him to let go of the poor pole. You rushed forward, calling out, “Chan hyung!”

Your heart pounded as you neared the scene. The man who had been kneeling quickly stood up, pointing toward you. “He’s here! Chan-ah, please, let go of the lamppost—”

Chan’s head snapped up, his glassy eyes locking onto yours. A small, drunken smile tugged at the corners of his lips, but it seemed distant and unfocused. His grip on the lamppost tightened for a moment before he slowly, shakily let go and staggered toward you. “You... You came,” he slurred, his voice slow and heavy with alcohol.

You instinctively reached out to support him as he wobbled toward you. His breath smelled faintly of alcohol and something else—something sweet, like strawberries. He tried to stand on his own but swayed dangerously, his body pressing too heavily against yours.

The man who had been kneeling sighed in relief, a slight smile on his face. “Thanks for coming. He’s been asking for you for the past half hour. We thought he might knock himself out with the pole at some point.” He sighed, while the other man nodded coolly. You recognized them as Yoon Jeonghan and Vernon Chwe from the marketing department. As Chan leaned heavily on your shoulder, you gave a quick bow to them. “Nice to meet you, sunbaes. I’m—”

“We know you.” Jeonghan gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “You’re the rising star of the baseball team, Cheolie’s most reliable striker. Besides, Channie told us a lot about you.” He sighed at the man currently trying to hide his face in your neck. You quickly wrapped your jacket around him as he tightened his arms around your waist. “I see. Do you have the address to his dorm?”

“About that,” Vernon spoke up. “Chan’s dorm room is undergoing renovations. He’s been crashing at Jeonghan hyung’s place, but since he got drunk, he refused to leave with him. If you don’t mind, could you bring him back to your dorm instead?”

“Sure.” You nodded. Jeonghan looked relieved. “Great, I’ll leave Channie in your hands.” He said, before dragging Vernon off in the opposite direction. You gently guided Chan’s hands off you and led him back to the cab. 

By the time the cab reached your dorm, Chan had already fallen asleep. The driver, kind enough to assist, helped you carry Chan onto your back, and you left him a generous tip. Once inside, you laid Chan gently on your bed.

As you straightened up to grab a warm towel, a hand gripped your shirt tightly. You looked down to see Chan staring up at you, a faint blush across his face. “Where are you going?”

“I’m just getting a towel for you, hyung,” you replied, taking in his appearance. Chan wasn’t wearing his usual glasses—his eyes were wide, pupils dark, pulling you in like a siren. You swallowed, suddenly aware of the sweet scent of strawberries filling the room.

“Stay,” Chan insisted, his head tilting slightly to the side. You nodded, a bit dazed, and before you could fully process what was happening, he pulled you onto the bed, positioning himself to straddle you.

When your lips crashed, you froze, your hands laying helplessly at either side of your hips. You could feel Chan grinding on you, his hands gripping your shirt as his lips moulded with yours. When Chan finally pulled away from you to gasp for air, you quickly held him by the waist, stopping his movements. “Hyung… You’re drunk-”

“‘M not drunk,” Chan replied, his hands snaking down your chest. Your face burnt as he reached the hem of your pants, teasingly pulling at the band. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Hyung…” You swallowed. The air thickens as Chan frowned, leaning so close that your noses touched. “You want me to beg you? Please, fuck me?” He growled, grinding harshly at the tent in your pants. You let out a groan, your grip around his waist tightening. “I-”

“I’m giving you permission to put your cock in my ass right now. I like you.” Your eardrums ringed as Chan confesses, one hand pulling up his shirt while the other working on your pants. You choked on your own saliva at the sight of his body, quickly turning your head to the side. “Hyung, sl-slow down.”

Articles of clothing were soon removed, pooling at the ground of your bed. Chan is now lying beneath you, one hand grabbing the sheets as he moaned loudly, his other hand now tightening around your hair. You hollowed your mouth, your tongue flicking against his tip as you gave a harsh suck. 

Chan whimpered, arching his back off your sheets as his thighs clamped around your head. You ignored the tightness around your head, your finger working relentlessly on his hole as he thrashed around the sheets, wailing loudly before spilling into your mouth. “Ah…ha…”

The taste of salty musk and sweet strawberries filled your tongue as you lolled them out, letting them spill onto your fingers. Using Chan’s cum and your saliva as lube, you continued to venture in him, earning a loud cry from the older man. “Wait- T-too mu-”

“You were impatient just now, hyung.” You replied, forcing his knees to open for you again. Chan panted, looking at you through his hooded lids and wet hair. His upper body was littered with hickeys and bite marks, his nipples red and swollen. “I’m just giving you what you want.”

You added another finger into him, stretching him out as he moaned your name in earnest. A particular sharp jab of your fingers caused him to arch his back yet again, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. You poked around that soft muscle for a few more times, before pulling your fingers out. 

“You…” Chan looked down at you, a confused yet fucked out expression on his face. You stood between his legs, your expression suddenly mortified. “Um, hyung, I don’t have condoms…”

“Just do it raw.” Chan deadpanned, rolling his eyes. He raised his knees up, hanging them over your shoulder and hooking you closer to him. “It’s not like I would get pregnant.”

Your cock twitches at his words and you hummed in reply. “You do know the colour system-”

“Green, now hurry up and fuck m- ah, shit,” You guided your hardness towards his hole, burying in Chan’s warmth with one slow thrust. You could feel him sucking you in as you groaned, pushing gently so as to not hurt him. 

Once you bottomed out, Chan’s eyes were unfocused. You leaned downwards to nibble at his swollen lips, and his hand quickly wrapped around your neck, supporting himself. You took this as a sign to continue, and your hips started to move. 

Moans and groans bounced off the walls as you rammed Chan into the sheets. Chan felt like a drug, his addictive scent filling your nose and brain as you continued to plant hickeys along the sides of his neck. It didn’t take long for Chan to arch his back again, and so you stopped. 

“Wha- Y-” Before Chan could say anything, you flipped him around, still impaled in him. Your hips moved at an unforgiving speed, as Chan could only cry your name out in both pleasure and mercy. “Can’t… Please- close…”

“I’m close too, hyung.” You pressed a gentle kiss on his shoulder, your hand reaching down to grab at his cock. A few lazy tugs and Chan was cumming, his head on your shoulder as he sobbed, falling to the bed. You groaned at the sudden tightness, pulling out before tight ropes of your cum spurt over Chan’s back and ass. 

“I’ll clean you up, hyung,” you whispered softly as Chan’s heavy eyelids fluttered with exhaustion. Carefully, you lifted him off the bed, guiding him toward the bathroom.

With patience and gentle coaxing, you managed to shower him with warm water, wash away the remnants of the night, and dry him off. By the time you were done, Chan looked peaceful, dressed in clean clothes, and already half-asleep. You laid him gently on your bed, now fresh with newly changed sheets.

Sliding in beside him, you couldn’t resist wrapping your arms around his resting form. His familiar strawberry-like scent lingered, soothing you as you nuzzled your nose into the crook of his neck.

Contentment swelled in your chest. Tomorrow, you would ask him out on an official date. For now, though, holding him close was more than enough.

bonus:

02:23 a.m.

hannie hyung🐰: so... how did it go? did you get cheol’s favourite junior?

hannie hyung🐰: judging from your lack of response, i guess you got what you want. i really need that strawberry perfume back, you know. besides, if he smells it too often he might get really, like really addicted to it.

hannie hyung🐰: and bononie just cleared out the stash of photos in your dorm, you can bring him back any time.

hannie hyung🐰: we didn't throw it away though, it's at shua's.

hannie hyung🐰: and text me back when you're awake. i can't believe i had to kneel down to you in public, you little freak. do we really have to go all out to that extend?

hannie hyung🐰: hyung loves you, anyway.

© yiichan, 2024 origin of divider

[sugrhigh]

BOY NEXT DOOR 2 - ( c.s )

part one

summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.

warnings- swearing, kissing, that’s it i think

neighbor/hockey!chris x fem!reader

a/n: PART TWOOOOO!!!! i hope u guys like this series i’m having a lot of fun with it (and s/o to my girl @cutenote for letting me use her name). self-indulged this chapter and made the reader a flyers fan so SRY but anyways, enjoy! next thing im putting out is a matt request and then i’ll be working on this series and the tattooartist!reader x matt series. if you have other reqs, questions, confessions, etc, my inbox is open 🫶🏻

@cutenote @mattsmunch @mattybsbitch @breeloveschris @st7rnioioss

your stomach flips as you stare in the mirror, twisting and turning every which way to make sure you look alright. you’re in one of chris’s jerseys, repping the scarlet and white colors of boston university, complete with the little ‘C’ emblem for captain.

he left it in your mailbox earlier on his way to the arena, demanding that you wear it instead of the BU sweatshirt you had planned on going in. so you listened to him, even though you’re not really sure why.

your hair and makeup are all done, contrary to the last time chris saw you, when you were in his house threatening to call the cops. it feels performative, getting all dressed up for something you don’t even want to go to.

but what the hell, you hadn’t seen the team play at all this year, and if you look your best you’ll feel your best. at least, that’s what you convinced yourself would happen.

“are you done up there? we need to leave, games gonna start soon!” one of your roommates calls from the living room.

you sigh and turn away from your own reflection so you can head for the stairs. cassidy and ramona are both waiting for you on the couch as you round the corner, also decked out in BU merch.

you’re just lucky you had been able to convince them both to come with you, so you don’t have to stand by yourself.

“took you long enough.” cassidy mumbles under her breath as she stretches her legs and stands up.

mona mimicks her movements, but not without shooting her a glare. “be nice, she’s obviously nervous.”

“no i’m not!” you protest, and now they both give you an eye roll as they pass you to get their coats from the closet.

“your voice just went up ten octaves.” cass snarks.

you are anxious, but it’s just because of the unknown. you still haven’t figured out what chris is angling at, besides maybe sleeping with you, which isn’t gonna happen. well, probably not at least.

no, not ever. oh my god.

“i’m not nervous. i just wish i could back out.” you double down, turning to see them both pulling on their big winter jackets.

“you used to love hockey, you just don’t like chris. one game won’t kill you.” ramona replies.

“and you also didn’t have to agree.”

this accusation makes your face flush, in embarrassment and in denial. “he wouldn’t have stopped that party if i didn’t. and you know i could never actually call the cops.”

ramona stays silent as cass laces up her shoes. “whatever you say babe. you look cute in his jersey either way.”

“cassidy!” you whine in exasperation.

“i’m honestly not sorry.”

the entire walk to the get to the game is spent harassing you, which is a solid twenty minutes because you live off campus. ramona does try to keep it to a minimum, though you can’t really blame them for the questions. you have them too.

it’s always been weird with you and chris. you hate his attitude, how people fall to his feet like he’s some sort of god. you can’t stand the way he talks to you like he can read your mind, or how you always catch him staring at your lips just so he can pretend like he wasn’t.

he does it to every girl, and you don’t know why he’s taking all of these extra steps to try and get you into bed.

maybe because you see through it, and you don’t want any part of him. he said it himself, he doesn’t want a relationship, and you’re not looking to get an STD, so you don’t know why he’s bothering.

you finally arrive at the facility, and your stomach flips. tons of people are out tonight, of course. the sun is long gone with it being winter and all, so the lights are extra overwhelming as you step inside.

you head through security and scan your passes, ones that are specifically right beside the student section in the very front. chris gifted them to you for free since you didn’t get season tickets, right by the glass so he knows where you are.

even when you were a pain in the ass and insisted you needed two more for your roommates, he made it work. it was a little impressive.

you find your seats, and the boys are already on the ice warming up. you spot chris from the jersey number, 3, and you can see his long hair poking out from underneath his helmet.

he’s focused on taking a practice shot, but as he skates by the glass afterwards you see him looking, like he isn’t sure if you showed up. but then he finds you, and you can actually see his stupid smile.

he waves, just a tiny one, before he goes right back to drills. you’re thankful he didn’t make it dramatic, because you know there’s plenty of girls in the stands who want him, and have probably already been with him.

you each take your coats off and hang them on your chairs. you know the fact that you having his last name plastered across your back doesn’t help the attention, but people can think what they want.

you don’t give a fuck. cassidy was right, it’s cuter on you anyways.

they head into the locker room quickly after your arrival, and even more people fill in to watch the show. the student section is loud as the facility finally goes dark, and the team skates back onto the ice moments later.

spotlights flood the stadium, highlighting different players as both teams line up along the neutral zone. you cheer extra loud when they announce the starting lineup and call chris’s name, even despite your vendetta against him.

no use being a shitty fan if you’re already here.

they get ready for the face off after the national anthem, and BU gets the puck. it’s back and forth for a while, and you find yourself groaning and cheering with the rest of the crowd during every play.

the first goal of the game is scored within fifteen minutes, by one of his other roommates ben, of all people. you and your friends are jumping around like maniacs, and you can see him laughing at you guys after they’re all done celebrating on the ice.

it makes you wonder if chris told them you’d be here, but you force yourself to eat the popcorn cass bought and stop thinking about it.

the second period begins and BU keeps possession for most of it, pretty much dominating their opponent. in the final thirty seconds, chris drives down the rink to score another goal.

you throw your hands up without thinking, and you let the excitement take over. “fuck yeah!”

cassidy and ramona are screaming too, shaking you by the shoulders wildly.

he comes skating over, pointing right at you as he does a lap near the student section. heads turn, and you can literally feel people staring at you now, even despite the noise and the chaos.

but you’re alive, and you can’t get enough of this environment, so you keep cheering for him regardless of the burning feeling of eyes on you.

“that was cute.” ramona nudges you with a genuine smile, and you’re fighting your own grin as you shake your head.

“whatever.”

the rest of the game is swift. your goalie makes a couple great saves, and a guy named dylan, who you’ve met before at parties, scores the final point of the night.

it just twists the knife further, because it’s a total shutout. the fans go wild as the final buzzer sounds, and you’re right there with them. you relish in the lights, the feeling.

you really did miss watching hockey in person. and you can’t even say you necessarily hate watching chris anymore. there’s just something about the way he skates, so locked in on the game.

he’s a threat, to be completely honest, and you kind of love it.

“that was fucking crazy.” cassidy is beaming happily as you guys gather your things ten minutes post-game, and ramona nods along.

“we’re gonna have to do this more often.” she glances at you with hope.

“hey, don’t look at me. i’m in it for the free tickets, and i’m not sure how long that’ll last.” you’re lying through your teeth, because you enjoyed it just as much.

but again. who knows what he’s really trying to do here.

“you could give him the benefit of the doubt.” mona suggests dryly.

“does he really deserve it? he’s going to think he’s the shit either way.” you point out, and she goes quiet.

“maybe that’s true, but i’ve never heard of him doing whatever that celebration was with other girls.” cassidy takes over, and she’s honestly check-mated you.

it is strange, because when you watched games last season, before you had chris as your neighbor, before you even really knew of him, you hadn’t ever seen that. and from current knowledge, you’re pretty sure he had a short term girlfriend during one of those months.

“touché, i guess.” you grumble, and as if right on que your phone vibrates in your pocket.

chris

wait for me, 15 mins max

ramona and cassidy take the bus home, leaving you on your lonesome as the crowd clears out slowly but surely.

you can hear girls whispering about you as they walk by, but it’s not even worth it. you’re not scared of what they have to say. maybe when you were younger, you would have reacted, but it’s just displaced jealousy anyways.

they don’t even know the truth.

finally, after what feels like a painful amount of time, you get a text from chris with directions toward the locker rooms.

it’s far more quiet now as you make your way to the ground level of the arena, headed to the section of the rink you know is closed off to pretty much everyone else. there’s a guy standing there, dressed in his black shirt with the facility logo on it.

he goes to stop you, but chris comes strutting through the hall, out of uniform now. his brown hair is all messy, and he’s dressed down in a matching black sweat set.

“she’s cool, i have a pass for her.”

he walks right up to you, looping a red lanyard over your head. his fingertips brush the skin of your neck as he collects your hair with his hands, flipping it out from underneath the string for you.

it’s a small thing. his touch is barely there, and yet it still burns.

the security guy smiles at you as you follow chris down the hall. you’ve never been back here before, and you have to admit it’s kind of cool.

you can see where the arena workers go on and off the ice, and the large garage type doors that let the zambonis in and out.

“so.” he breaks the silence, and you almost jump at the sound of his voice.

you were in your own world, and you kind of forgot what was actually going on here.

“so.” you parrot, waiting for him to continue as he leads you around a corner.

“looked like you actually had fun for once.” chris jokes, and you shove his shoulder half-heartedly.

“shut up, i’ve always liked hockey. you though? i’m not so sure.” you give him a look and he opens his mouth like he’s shocked.

“come on, i pointed you out after my goal and everything. you’re telling me you didn’t like it even a little?”

you liked it more than you care to admit, so you don’t. “it’s gonna take more than that to impress me, christopher, but i will say it was a good game.”

“you might just be our lucky charm.” chris glances at you out of the corner of the corner of his eye as he slows to a stop in front of the locker room.

you cross your arms over your chest. “now you're just patronizing me.”

“always assuming the worst.”

“well, you make it easy.” you tease.

he pauses to look down at your defensive stance, at his jersey all scrunched up around your body, and you can tell by his smirk that he’s loving it a little too much.

you clear your throat to try and alleviate some of the tension and chris snaps out of it, turning to head through the little entryway.

“i’m gonna grab my bag, don’t go anywhere.”

“you’re my ride, dumbass.” you remind him, and you hear his chuckle reverberate against the walls as he disappears.

a few players head out as you wait, ones you don’t recognize, and they nod at you politely as they chat amongst themselves. it actually takes you by surprise, but you try not to show it.

chris comes back into the hall a minute later, bag slung around his shoulder. he’s got a black bruins beanie on now, and you raise an eyebrow instinctively.

“why are you looking at me like that?” he asks, waving his hand so you follow him further down the wide corridor.

“your hat.” you point, and he looks offended.

“what’s your problem with it?”

“not everyone who goes to school here is actually from boston, genius. i’m a flyers fan.” you smile at him sweetly, and he literally groans.

“how did i not know this?” he asks as you guys reach the door that leads to the team parking lot.

“because you don’t know me.” you reply swiftly.

chris pushes the door open and holds it for you, another move you don’t expect. “i know more than you think.”

you shiver slightly as you step past him into the cold, wrapping your coat around yourself a bit tighter.

“if it helps you sleep at night.” you chirp over your shoulder.

you know his car, a black jeep grand cherokee that you’ve always been a little jealous of, and it’s sitting in the middle of the lot. not many others are still here, and you can hear both of your feet kicking up gravel as you walk.

chris picks up his pace so he can beat you there, swinging the passenger door open before you can do it yourself.

“wow, chivalry’s not dead.” you say blankly, sliding into the seat so he can close you in.

“what can i say, i’m a real gentleman.”

the interior smells like a pine air freshener, which actually isn’t a bad touch. chris walks around so he can toss his bag in the back and get behind the wheel, starting the engine and peeling out of the spot.

it’s quiet for a moment, aside from the music, and you can’t help but peek over at him sitting across from you. the shadows accentuate his striking features as he mumbles lyrics under his breath, nodding his head along ever so slightly.

he looks pretty, and you don’t like it one bit.

“i can feel you staring at me, you know.” chris turns to glance at you for a brief moment before he puts his eyes back on the road.

it makes your palms sweat, because he caught you in the act and now there’s no shying away.

deny, deny, deny.

“just wondering why your face looks like that.”

“what, devilishly handsome?” he smirks.

“i was thinking gremlin-esque, but sure.” you deadpan, and he just shakes his head and laughs lowly.

“so scared of your own feelings. it’s cute.”

it’s a major call-out, and it normally doesn’t phase you. but tonight it’s different. he’s being so fucking strange, and it’s clearly been messing with your head.

“i’m not scared of shit, because the only thing i feel is sorry for all the girls who have actually fallen for this.” you retort, and the frustration is clear in your voice.

“other girls don’t get the princess treatment like you do.” his self-satisfied demeanor doesn’t falter for a second, even despite your low blow.

“yeah, right. i’m sure i’m really special.”

chris grips the wheel tighter as he turns onto your street, and you have to rip your eyes away from his long fingers.

“well you’re the only one who’s ever worn my jersey, so that’s something.” he admits, scratching his neck absentmindedly.

you’re not sure whether you believe it, but this time he actually does sound genuinely nervous. well, nervous for chris.

“and i wear it best too.” you brush some imaginary dust off of your shoulder as he pulls up into his driveway and puts the car in park.

“won’t argue on that one.” he shrugs, shooting you an easy grin.

“that’s surprising.”

you step back out into the crisp night air, slamming the door shut behind you. you meet chris at the front of the car and try to move around him, headed for your own place.

he takes a step to block you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “where are you going?”

you put some distance between your bodies, because he’s once again too close for comfort, and it’s hard to focus on your words when he’s inches from your face.

“home, obviously.”

“why? i thought we were going to hang out.” he frowns.

“nothing good ever happens in your house past nine p.m.”

this makes him smirk. “very good things happen in that house past nine p.m.”

“your charm is irresistible, truly.” you bite back sarcastically, maneuvering around him as you try to ignore the fire burning in your stomach.

you’ve only taken two steps before chris grabs your arm, pulling you back into his chest quickly. his other hand goes to hold the side of your face, tangling in your hair as he leans in close.

his lips ghost over yours, just barely. you can smell the cologne he must have put on after the game, can feel his slight stubble scratching your face, and it’s all too much.

you haven’t been kissed in so long, and right now it doesn’t matter that it’s chris, and that it goes against everything you stand for. your eyes flutter closed and you fill the gap, pressing your mouth against his hard.

it shocks him, so much so that he almost forgets how to do this properly. chris can taste your berry chapstick, and your lips are so much fucking softer than he even imagined.

his tongue slides against yours skillfully, deepening the kiss as he presses his body flush against yours. you can feel his thumb brushing your cheek as your mouths clash together continuously. its passionate and angry and intense, and you can’t believe it’s happening.

why is this happening?

the thought snaps you out of it, and you put your hand on his chest to force him away roughly. chris is surprised, and you’re both slack-jawed and breathing heavily as your body tries to catch up with your brain.

“i…i’m gonna go.” you mumble quietly, because you have no idea what else to say.

“or you could stay.”

“i don’t want to.”

“you’re a terrible liar.” he counters, and you can see how raw and red his lips are even in the moonlight.

you shake your head and turn toward your own front porch. it’s too hard to continue meeting his fiery gaze, because he’s looking at you like he actually needs you.

“goodnight, chris.”

“this isn’t over, you know. one day you’ll finally admit it.” he calls after you, and you don’t gratify him with a response.

there’s nothing that’ll change his mind, especially after you had actually caved in during that moment of weakness. it was so unwarranted, and you’re angry that kissing him didn’t feel as wrong as it should have.

you take the steps two at a time and hurry through the door, closing it behind you and pressing your back to the wood.

your fingers dance across your lips, and you swear you can still feel his mouth on yours.

[sku11s1asher]

Kinktober Day 1: Edging

lyney x top male reader

notes: guess who’s doing kinktober?? me!! pretend i posted this earlier since i couldn’t find a list until last sec, oops. ignore the fact that this is short and totatllyyy not rushed.. i don’t even know the characters i wanna do so PLEASE DM OR SPAM MY INBOX WITH CHARACTERS YOU WANNA SEE!! if a day doesn’t get posted on time, i promise ill post it eventually trust

cw: edging (obv), one slap on his thigh, sharp ass nails, crying, im a sucker for lyney sorry guys

It must be a wonderful feeling to have Lyney, the great magician of Fontaine, the future successor to Arlechino, right under your fingertips, literally. Such a strong man, reduced to a whimpering and begging mess, all because of a little touching. He looked so beautiful though, his makeup ruined, back arched, cock leaking, body on full display, just for you.

A needy whine left his lips, “Please, I- I can’t!” Your eyes flickered up, tilting your head at him, “You can’t what? Use your big boy words, baby.” He could barely open his eyes to look at you, everything was too much. His arm went over his face when your hand slowly started moving again, it took everything in him to not buck his hips. He needed to cum so badly, why are you being such an asshole?

You leaned down to kiss his stomach before taking your hand off his cock. You’ve only been edging him for 15 minutes, it’s pathetic how quickly he became a mess. After staring at him for a few moments longer, you finally grabbed the lube, opening it, and pouring it over his dick, watching as it slowly dripped down towards his hole.

—

Maybe it was too much, he was squeezing around your fingers so tightly, thighs squeezing around you. Every sound that came from his mouth was almost laughable, barely audible words, moans, and whimpers. It’s like you took away his tongue.

“Calm down,” you said to him, your free hand giving his thigh a light slap. Your finger kept rubbing against his prostate, sometimes purposely missing it. “How can I calm down?” He hissed out, eyes starting to fill with tears. All you could do was let out a chuckle, no matter how angry he pretended to be, his body always betrayed him.

Once you finally decided to stick another finger inside of him, a fat glob of pre cum dripped from his tip. You could tell that he was trying his hardest to not cum, the way his breathing started to increase, how his face slightly changed, the slight grind against your fingers. Of course, you paused your movements, just long enough for him to lose the high before you started to get him open.

—

“Fuck,” as soon as you were even an inch inside of him, he was trying to pull all of you inside. “Lyney,” your voice warned, the grip on his waist tightening. All you got in response was a loud moan and nails going deeper into your back. When you, finally, got inside of him, it felt like heaven. Hell, it sounded like heaven.

“You wanna cum?” You asked into his ear, head falling into his neck, biting it as you thrust. “Yes, yes, please!” He begged, one of his hands going on your head, pulling you closer. Though, his other hand tried going to his dick, which didn’t slide with you. As soon as you felt his hand go between your stomachs, you stopped moving altogether.

“No, no, no, ‘m sorry-“ he quickly pleaded, you could feel his tears, what a baby. “If try to you touch yourself, I’ll stop again,” You warned, slowly going back to thrusting into him. He didn’t even last a minute, hole immediately squeezing you tighter, nails scratching your back, finally coming. You didn’t stop for a second, trying to reach your own high as he continued to moan like a cheap whore.

[moonsaver]

hi hi double yandere anon again -- thought i'd put this in a separate ask :] this is only if you wanna write it, but normal sunday with a yandere reader is giving me some great thoughts. like, reader flipping the script on him, usually so composed and with everything in control, and sunday has to deal with being entirely at their mercy. idk having usual character dynamics reversed is always fun to me, so! again tysm and have a great day!! :}

Hello anon! Since both of these inbox messagws are from you, hope you dont mind that i coupled them lol. Sorry it took so long for me to respond. Im glad to know you liked that piece!

Anyways, this is a very interesting dynamic in my opinion..

Sunday x yan!reader.....

Listen. You might actually be able to convince him to a degree. Lets be for real, this man is probably STARVED for some good loving. But like almost all hsr characters, he'd be unnerved by it at first. The most repulsive situation isn't the fact you're obsessed with him, but rather that he doesn't have control over this situation. You, somehow, do.

Sunday himself is a bit.. intense in my opinion. He's had his fair share of suitors, but most likely not many or any lovers at all. He's isolated to a degree, and doesn't feel like he's desperate for love.

But when yan!reader shows up, proclaims having oh so much love for sunday.. it turns the cogs in his head a bit.

Our dear yan actually has a good chance of winning Sunday over, depending on how you might present yourself inititally. It's like when you finally get a taste of something you didn't want, but realise you've needed almost your entire life.

He's reluctant, as.. minorly expected? But not for the reasons he should be. It's the control factor that's holding him back. His secondary concern is actually more logical – he doesn't know you. And it does unnerve him slightly when you give him the tip of the iceberg of how much you might know.

But, somehow, someway, if you manage to render Sunday unable to defend himself, or kidnap him, or strip him of his reliable abilities?

Boy he is freaking. Out.

He's speaking with a strained voice, his eyes almost blown wide open, his breathing is heavy, slow and shallow, as he desperately tries to stay calm, but every alarm in his head is about to burst from the signals at the loss of control. He's like a rabid dog that's shown a glass of water. Almost snarls at you. Hates hates hates this situation so much, and it's not too soon before he settles quietly with a glare, his mind working relentlessly to weave out of your trap.

But it's a strange pull. He protests and threatens you when you even try doing something – even if its harmless and he would allow you to outside of this situation. But then you wear him down, and you're so gentle with him. You kiss his face and hold him so close and warmly, you listen and even understand his ideals when he talks about them to gauge your personality. This feels as though it's the first time someone truly sees him – scary as it might be, to lay bare all your self, but the very fact you can love him so well makes him.. delirious.

Oh, but he still despises you (for the lack of a stronger word) because of the control aspect. However, instead of planning a heavy punishment for your crime of kidnapping him after he finds a way out.. he may form other methods of payback.

[luvsturniolo]

hey girl i love ur stuff, do u think u could do a Matt imagine where the triplets are filming a baking video or smthn with the reader. There's a lot of speculation of whether Matt and reader are dating (idm if they're together yet or not) and reader minorly burns their hand or smthn and Matt makes a b-line to reader to comfort them? thanks ily<3

— ★ !! speculation

pairing : matt sturniolo x fem!reader

synopsis : desc is explained in the req !!

a/n : girl i'm SO sorry that this took forever. my inbox is literally so confusing & it stresses me out so bad to look at ; i need to organize it asap ! anyway im sorry this took so long, ur req got burried under a ton of others

anyway , i hope u like this bc u deserve it after waiting so long 😭 also, i'm trying a slighty different format for my posts (its so subtle idek if u guys will notice but i love it so wtv 🤞🤞)

wc : 1.8k

for the past few months, you and matt have been acting a bit differently on camera. normally, the two of you make an effort to stay decently apart so none of the his fans will notice that you're dating.

you've been friends with the triplets since middle school and you show up in their videos all the time. but last summer, matt finally asked you to be his girlfriend. you guys agreed to keep your relationship off the internet and since then, you two have been trying your absolute best to avoid eachother while on camera.

but it's harder than it sounds to keep a distance from the one you love. all you want to do it hold his hand, rest your head on his shoudler, or hug him. but you can't. and it drives you fucking crazy.

this morning, nick texted you and asked if you wanted to come over to film a baking video with them. seeing as you had nothing better to do, you happily agreed.

nick explained that you would be the one blindfolded. he and his brothers would be normal — able to speak, see, and hear freely. you were a bit nervous at first, knowing how horrible you are at baking. but you still agreed to film the video because you know their fans have been begging for you to participate in one of their cooking videos for years.

you're currently in the kitchen with matt as he sets out all the ingredients that will be used. across the room, nick is setting up the camera so you guys can film in a few minutes. chris is in his bedroom, searching for the bandana he set out for you.

"got it!" chris shouts excitedly as he rushes into the kitchen, waving the hot pink bandana around in the air.

you laugh at the sight of its bright colors before asking, "why the hell did you casually had that laying around your room?"

"don't worry about it." he responds, trying to be mysterious and dramatic.

he hands the bandana to you and you place it over your eyes. you wrap it around your head and end up fumbling with the ends of it, unable to tie it blindly. you sigh with annoyance but continue to struggle, too determined to ask for help.

suddenly you feel someone place their hands on top of yours. you immediately recognize them to be matt's. his fingertips are cold but his palms are warm, causing chills to wash over your skin like an ocean wave.

"you don't need to be so independent all the time," he tells you softly. "it's okay to ask for help every once in a while."

you feel his hands leave yours — meaning the bandana is tied. you turn around and blindly reach your hands up to find his face. you feel your hands graze his jaw and you smile, feeling the stubble of his beard brush against your skin.

you tip your head up and reach to kiss him. however, seeing as you can't see, you end up missing his mouth and kissing the corner of his lips. you feel his mouth pull upward with a smile before he moves his head to the side so you can kiss him correctly.

"i need to make this worth it." he says against your mouth. he pulls away to speak, but you lean forward to chase his lips. "i won't be able to kiss you until after the video is finished."

"then quit wasting your time talking and kiss me." you say. you feel his chest shake with an airy chuckle before he places his hands on your hips and pulls you closer against him, reconnecting your mouths to kiss you again.

"guys, what the fuck?" you hear nick's voice call out from across the kitchen. "you've been making out for the past three minutes."

"yeah," chris's voice agrees. it sounds like he's standing in the doorway. "we were trying to be nice and let you have your moment, but you just won't stop kissing."

matt lets go of your hips with a sigh. "whatever, let's get this over with."

"woah, kid!" chris exclaims dramatically. you can hear his voice move and his footsteps get louder as he makes his way over to where you and matt are standing in front of the counter. "don't sound too excited."

as unbelievable as this sounds, matt doesn't actually hate filming. he actually loves making videos for his channel. if he didn't, he would not be doing it as a job. what he hates is being away from you.

he's the literal definition of clingy. and you're like the exhausted mom who has to put up with his tantrums whenever you're torn apart.

"okay, the camera is set up." nick announces. "i'm gonna start recording, so get your coupley-ness over with so we can film."

it's kind of crazy how casual it's become for everyone to work around yours and matt's secret relationship. his brothers respect your guys' decision to stay private and they help you guys hide it from the media. it genuinely means a lot to you to know how supportive chrtis and nick are — even though they like to make jokes and tease matt for his clinginess.

"hey guys!" nick says to the camera. “today, y/n is going to be blind baking some santa-shaped cookies since it’s almost christmas!”

you can hear nick walk over to where everyone else is standing. he continues to talk to the camera when you feel matt’s knuckles brush against the small of your back — where the camera can’t see.

you smile, enjoying the physical touch. but you know how risky it is for him to do things like that. if you start blushing or acting weird on camera, the fans will easily put the pieces together and realize what it means. so you shift a little, causing matt’s hand to fall off your back and back to his side.

"okay," you hear nick's voice say. you jump at how close he is now.

"oh my fuck, nick!" you shout, turning to glare at him — hoping you're looking in the right direction. "you scared the absolute shit out of me!"

"i'm not nick." chris says.

you turn in the opposite direction and tilt your head dramatically, waiting for nick to apologize for scaring you. but instead of an apology, you hear matt say "i'm not nick either. sorry."

you huff out a scoff and turn to the last remaining direction where nick could be. this time you were finally glaring at the correct triplet.

you hear matt laugh from beside you and your stomach twists into a knot.

since you can't see, the rest of your senses have been heightened — meaning you're hyperaware of the sound of your boyfriend's laugh. everything in you is tempted to kiss and hold him and tell him how much you love him.

but. you. cant.

"as i was saying," nick continues, "matt set out all the ingredients before we started recording. so, everything is on the counter in front of you, y/n."

you nod in response, happily beginning your task. the first portion of the video is calm and kind of relaxing. you listen to the triplets' commands as you grab and pour random things into random bowls. honestly, you've lost track of what step you're on. it feels like you're just going through the movements of baking cookies rather than actually cooking a meal.

chris and nick have no problem with holding your hands or wrists to point you in the right direction. but matt? he hasn't touched you at all. he still talks to you and helps out when it's needed, but you both know better than to touch.

due to matt's intense clinginess, it's safest to stay apart. if not, nick will end up cutting out a large portion of the video where matt has to be pried off of you (it's happened before).

"now, you need to put the cookie tray in the oven." nick tells you. from the sound of his voice, you can tell that he's reading instructions off the back of the cookie box. you hear him set the box on the counter before he continues. "while you do that, i'll put the dirty dishes in the sink; chris will clean the counters so you can decorate the cookies when they're done; and matt can make sure you don't catch the house on fire."

"alright." you agree with the plan. you reach forward to grab the tray of cookies. you pat thepalm of your hands on the countertop, trying to find the metal board. but you can't find it. "what the fuck?" you mutter, knowing it was just right here.

"right here," matt's voice murmers against the shell of your ear. he reaches over you, his chest pressed against your back. you hear the cookies slide agianst the counter before you feel the cool material of the tray touch your hands.

you clear your throat awkwardly, trying not to think about him too much. "thanks."

"mhm," he hums. as he stands up straight, the warmth of his chest leaves your back and you're left feeling cold and empty without his presence.

you mimick his actions by standing up straight. you then carry the tray in your hands as you walk around the island to where you know the stove is. you're about to set the tray down to open the oven, but you hear someone come up behind you. matt tells you to just hold still and he'll open it for you.

you do as he says and wait for him to open the oven door. when you hear it unlatch, you reach down to slide the tray onto the rack.

apparently, you miscalculated the distance between you and the oven. because just as you were going to set the tray down, you felt a sharp pain in the knuckles of your pinky finger.

"fuck!" you shout in pained breath before dropping the tray to the ground.

"what happened? are you okay? are you hurt?" matt rushes out a string of questions, immediately taking your hand into his. he twists and turns it, examining the injury.

"yeah, i'm fine." you tell him. "i shouldn't have dropped the tray like that, it was kinda dramatic."

you hear him sigh, "what did i tell you? it's okay to ask for help."

"i didn't think i needed it." you tell him, dropping your voice to a whisper as you tell him your next concern. "plus, you might wanna get away from me. we're still filming."

"fuck the video, y/n." he says, pulling you into a hug. he holds you against him, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "you mean way more to me than a bit of speculation."

tags : @kasqnxx @lvrsparadise @prettysturniolo @strniolo @urmyslxt @cupidsturniolo @opheliaofficial07 @thetriplets3 @sturn1olo-ffics @uhnanix @deadxrx @kitaysworld @slaysturniolo @wilmalovegood @ladylokilaufeyson5 @sturniolopepsi @strnilolo @knowingnothingnoel @its-jennarose @lea0518

[mandarinmoons]

...do we need a fic based on the aftermath of this gif? (im imagining bau!reader instead of tara) 👀

im just speaking for the people, you may call me the spencer reid lorax

https://www.tumblr.com/mandarinmoons/751014116818305024/need-him-to-pull-my-hair-push-me-down-knock-me

So sorry it took so long 😭

"Spencer Reid lorax" you're so real for that

“We’re not done here.”

The man you and Spencer were questioning pushed you back slightly, which caused Spencer to pull the man’s arms behind his back and push him down to a nearby stone fence, pulling a pair of handcuffs out and tightening them on the man’s wrists.

“Are you okay?”

Spencer looked back at you with concerned eyes, his eyes scanned you from head to toe and saw your hands shaking lightly. You quickly nodded and cleared your throat as you mumbled an “I’m alright” and the two of you walked the suspect to the car.

An hour passes and you watch the suspect from behind the window, biting the inside of your cheek as you see the slight scratch on his forehead that was caused by Spencer pulling him down. You weren’t a fan of violence, but seeing someone stand up for you in such a way did make you feel a certain way.

The door opened and closed, footsteps came your way and the light touch of a hand rested on your back, caressing it in a comforting manner.

“How’re you doing?”

“I’m alright.”

Spencer nodded and looked at the man you two took in. From the corner of your eye you saw Spencer’s jaw grow tense as his gaze on the man stayed still, he clearly did not like how the guy treated you.

“I think even he can sense your eyes burning a hole through him.”

Spencer chuckled and pulled you a bit closer to him, his arm going around your shoulder and squeezing it lightly.

“I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“And nothing will if you’re by my side.”

“That is true.”

Chuckling, you placed your hand on Spencer’s cheek as you leaned in and pressed a light kiss to it, causing his mouth to curl up in a grin.

“My hero.”

Taglist: @radioactiveinvisible @whoisspence @sreidisms @lanascinnamongirls @luvkatryna @sp3ncelle @iluvreid @khxna @keiva1000 @reidstheyfriend @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @cynbx @kimm4710 @niktwazny303 @reidsdaisies @mindfullycriminal @cumulo-stratus @themarauderseraslut @gayfor-rosadiaz @gubsbuubs @multifandomsimp69 @chyozai

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[zujime]

Hello, i really like your writing, I always check for updates! If possibile may I ask for detailed oral headcanons giving and receiving for Bruno, Josuke, Giorno and Abbacchio? Thanks in advance ♡

─── bruno b. + josuke h. + giorno g. + leone a.

cw. aged up, oral (m / f receiving), drool play, cum swapping, cum eating, slight marking/bruising, makeup messing, light overstim, slight dumbification, eye contact, hand holding, faint biting

note. REALLY?? OMG TYSM i try to post as many works as i can but my brain doesn’t wanna work sometimes 🙎🏽‍♀️ also IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG college is no joke and uh… i got a little carried away💀💀 but it’s here now!! literally if you have anything else you wanna request or a lil question, etc. DO NOT HESITATE to send it in my inbox 🤭 okok bye bye🥰

(i was tempted to put ass eating in here but the demons told me no...)

bruno prefers giving over anything. that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it when you’re going down on him—hell, he loves how easy it is for you to shut his brain off with a simple kitten lick, but he just loves being able to make you writhe with nothing but the flick of his wrist.

he especially likes it when either of you have come home after a long day. the second you sit down on the couch or edge of the bed, his hands gingerly rub at one of your thighs before he gets on his knees and slots himself between your legs.

if you have on pants, he’s already peeled them off of you. skirt or dress? he’s hiked it up to your waistline. either way, both end up with him nipping at you through your underwear teasing you briefly with his teeth and tongue before dipping his fingers beneath the hem of your panties and sliding the article of clothing off, kissing at the warm skin of your thigh that’d been closest to your core.

he’d utter sweet phrases like “missed you, amore mio” that were accompanied by a firm yet delicate squeeze from his hand as he inched closer to your center with each kiss. oh, how he loves being between your legs—being able to stare as you oozed arousal. unless he’s exhausted, he always glances up at your eyes with his mesmerizing blue ones before he allows himself to get lost in all that is you.

the tip of his nose rubbing up against your sensitive nub as he relished in your core like a man starved, mindlessly mumbling praises into you with occasional whimpers that were almost drowned out by the sound of squelching his mouth made as he ravaged you. his once soft fingers now leave pretty wine-colored imprints on the expanse of your thighs and ass whilst he held your squirming body still.

“hah, f-fuuck—bruno, please!” you whine, brain nearly nothing but mush with how his skilled tongue never seemed to leave any part of your petal-smooth walls untouched. you feel the tremors of his voice before you hear him—even so, you’re too far gone to have comprehended him.

large, slender yet indelicate hands urge you closer and closer into him till he was virtually engulfed in you; the intoxicatingly sweet scent of you that left him ensnared, and the honeyed nectar that oozed from your molten hot center and mingled with his desperate slobber.

it’s not long before your stomach quivers from the knot that grows tighter and tighter with each enthusiast lick. your unsteady fingers find themselves raking through his messy raven locks as your thighs that surround his shoulders threaten to shut.

then the pressure that was trapped in your lower abdomen, snapped—flowing through your body like the waves of an ocean with each overwhelming spasm. your mind dizzy and mouth left agape as silent cries erupt from you.

finally, bruno latches off your aching cunt and gazes at you with glossed over eyes. “i’m sorry, mia amata,” he chuckles as plants a few quick soft pecks on your thighs, taking in your worn out expression. “i must’ve gotten carried away.”

he tends to get lost in the taste of you—not even worrying about whether you've come or not. you could be on your fifth orgasm and he’d still be lapping at your cunt as if he’s still trying to get your first orgasm.

though there are some instances where he’s receiving head from you, typically it’s during quickies, when he’s had a long day, or when you’re kind of taking charge in the bedroom.

he’s sprawled out on the bed, pants already thrown elsewhere in the room whilst his shirt followed leaving him in the bittersweet strain his boxers gave him. his cock twitched under the fabric as you licked a taunting stripe along its clothed underside, earning an almost impatient sigh from the man. one of your hands rested along the waistband of his briefs as your other trailed up his body—thumbing at his side before flicking and rubbing at his exposed nipple.

he loved yet hated this—he hated how much you tease him and make him wait, yet he loved how easily you could get him to be putty in your hands. it’s not long before you tug his underwear off, letting his aching cock spring free and throb with each bead of pre-cum that dribbles from the tip.

his abdomen quivers as he sucks in an unsteady breath when you lick up the mess that dripped down to the base, soon enveloping his tip in the fleshy warmness of your mouth—cheeks hollowed as you focus on it, enjoying the breathy groans that slipped from his damp lips and the heavy lidded look he peered at you with. it’s not long before you take him further into your mouth, causing his groans to shift to a stream of swears in his native tongue.

each breath shorter than the last—shallow, choppy gasps that rapidly shifted to hissed out groans every time the head of his cock kissed the back of your throat.

his hands struggling to stay in their respective places, at his sides because you begged so sweetly. you slither a hand along his stomach and to his chest, occasionally rubbing and flicking at the nub whilst your other hand gently massaged his balls.

bruno throws his head back as his body tenses and shudders at the stimulation—your throat? fuuck, and your hands? at this point, he thinks he’s done for—his hands grip at the sheets till the skin on his knuckles whiten, a string of whimpery moans fall from the man’s kiss bitten lips.

cries of the endearing pet names he’d given you followed by a cacophony of swears and quivering sobs of “gonna cum—mngh hah! ‘m close!” involuntarily, his hips buck, making you gag a bit as the tip of his cock met with your throat at a hurried pace.

his skin was fiery hot as his belly convulsed as he teetered closer to the edge, his hands in constant limbo as they yearned to push down on your head yet want to remain in their positions.

though his mind goes blank and his body stills as he spills his load into your mouth, a cry of ecstasy erupts from deep within him as his legs tremble with each encouraging squeeze you give his balls, blue eyes sealed shut as he emptied himself in your throat.

i also think josuke is the type of guy that loves giving BUT, he really really loves receiving more than anything.

mainly because he think you just look so fucking pretty with his cock in your mouth; how you gaze up at him with glassy eyes when the tip hits the back of your throat a few times, how messy you look when drool dribbles from the corner of your mouth, and how pitifully pretty you look when he shoots his load down your throat.

it only gets worse when you’ve either got on a full face of makeup or you’re in the process of putting it on. maybe you two have a dinner reservation or a simple night out with friends? whatever the case, the minute he sees you the two of you are either late or stuck at home—aka, mascara running as your eyes watered from gagging and lipgloss smeared all over the left side of your face and all over his cock.

the view was just so pretty from up here, especially after he adds the much needed finishing touch to your makeup, making sure it gives your skin that nice dewy finish before he’s gingerly laying you on the comforter so he can get his share too.

he runs a thumb along the corner of your lips, intently ruining your hard work. “wha— josuke, what are yo—!” you huff before you're interrupted by a low voice that’d been brought down to a whisper despite it just being the two of you.

“i think you look pretty like this, babe.” his lips warm and wet as they leave a trail of small hickeys along the juncture of your shoulder and neck. “we don’t have time for this, josuke. we gotta be at the place in twen—“

“but,” he interrupts once more, pausing to peer up at you through the bathroom mirror as he continues. “i think you’d look prettier with my dick in your mouth.” he whispers in your ear, tone sultry whilst his eyes remain stuck on yours—silently pleading as his hands squeezed needily at your waist.

doesn’t take much to get you on your knees with your hands ghosting themselves along the belt and button that kept his painfully swollen shaft tucked away. the metal of the buckle clinks as it clashes with the tile floor, you slip a hand under his shirt only to tenderly rub at his abdomen, hand threatening to dip below his slacks.

your lips litter the fabric around the zipper with lipgloss before you catch the metal zip between your teeth, sliding it agonizingly slow while gazing into his bluish-purple hues.

his pants and underwear fall as quickly as he put them on this morning. his now slick with precum that seemed to leak ceaselessly from his tip that’d been a fierce sanguine color as it throbbed with each feathery light kiss you placed upon it—dragging out a myriad of low groans and shivering inhales.

he rests a hand on your cheek all while you take him in your mouth, lipgloss leaving a sticky trail along his cock each time you slipped him out of warmness behind your lips.

he always ends up shooting blanks almost right after a couple of minutes. if he isn’t pulling out and spilling his spend on your face whilst admiring the new look, he’s begging you not to swallow his cum.

mumbling things like “wanna taste it on your lips” or “tastes so much sweeter from you” while pulling you up from on your knees just to sloppily slide his tongue in your mouth, making a sticky mess of cum and spit dribble from both your lips.

when he’s giving you head, it can vary. sometimes it’s after he’s cum in you after a quickie or just a normal night. he’s the type of guy to be like “i kiss you after you suck me off, why would it matter” but says “can’t leave you all dirty now, can i?” instead.

other times he’d be shamelessly between your legs while you were on the phone with someone—he apologizes profusely later but bro has needs and he gets a kick outta hearing how you struggle to bite back a few mewls from spilling out, or when you’re about to go somewhere and you’re waiting for a friend to pick you up.

you almost forgot where you were when he pulled out and started lapped away at your pretty pussy, mumbling sweet praises and a faint ‘gotta clean you up’  in his wake whilst his fingers practically dug into the skin of you plush thighs to hold you in place. he was sloppy, but good.

had your dress not been hiked up your thigh it’d be just like his shirt—the shirt that had been drenched in your juices and some splotches of his spend, sure, but it was mainly his slob that oozed from his bottom lip in fervor with each whimper he emitted as his cock twitched.

your thighs quivered around his broad shoulders as you neared another high—your tummy tensed with each silky sweep, gasps uneven yet punctuated before you silently scream and convulse. and he almost continues, that is until the doorbell rings.

“sh-shit! Josuke, I gotta go.” you gasp frantically, breath labored as you glance at him—wiping the blend of liquids from his mouth with his thumb before licking it clean. your legs almost give out as you go over to give him a quick kiss and a ‘love you’ before heading off.

i think leone would honestly be content either.

maybe he likes pleasing you and making you feel like nothing but putty in his hands, while he might also have days where he just wants to fuck till you’re nothing but dumb on his dick.

i think when he just wants to bask in you—days where he just wants to take his time with you; lazy days, maybe even special occasions, etc. at times like this, he thinks about your pleasure yes, but he’s more focused on drinking in all of you—no wall or crevice will remain untouched.

he’s eating you out like you’re his last meal, slow yet thorough. and he loves hearing you whine for more, for him to pick up the pace, anything! but he just peers up at you with heavy lids, giving your clit a quick pinch and then a loving lick before closing his eyes and resuming his mind-numbingly slow pace. eating you out is like an art form to him…

your back arches from off the soft comforter as you squirm, tears welling in your waterline at his tortuous pace. “leone, please–!” you mewl only for your plea to fall upon deaf ears as his eyes remain blissfully shut whilst his kneading at your thigh and hip never cease, as for his slow attacks on your slick center—they remained the same.

you let out a pitiful wail that veered into a choppy sigh. it’s not long before he picks up the pace only by a bit, groaning into your dewy paradise that gushed the very nectar that left him yearning for more.

on other days though, he might wanna whore you out—slap the head of his cock on the tip of your tongue, watch you drink his drool before finally pushing his cock to the back of your throat. choked out chuckles of ‘such a good slut for me’ and ‘so pretty with my dick in your mouth’ as he face fucks you.

his hands either resting on the sides of your face or wrapped comfortably around your neck, no in between. typically he wraps his hands around your neck just to feel the print his dick leave when you take him down to the hilt. 

his thumb rubs at your cheek as a stray tear falls from your eye. he takes his cock out of your mouth before tapping at your bottom lip with his pointer. “be a good girl and open up for me.” he sighs, smirking as part your kiss swollen lips for him, making sure your tongue is out.

it’s not long before he slaps the wet muscle with his fat, aching tip as he emits a faint gasp at the feeling only to stop and pull your face closer to his, as saliva dripped from his tongue and onto yours. uttering a ‘swallow’ before easing his cock back into your mouth after you’d open it again.

giorno look like he stares.. okay wait hear me out.

i think giorno is very tender when he’s both giving and receiving head, but i also think he likes being able to look into your eyes when it’s happening. it just does something for him.

i think that and MAYBE a bit of hand holding because he likes when you start squeezing his hand when you feel good or are close.

not only does that warm his heart but it also kinda shows him that he’s doing a good job. at least that’s what he thinks when he’s eating you out, you on the other hand…

he has literally dumbed you down. when he asks you something or mumbles something you can’t even comprehend it, let alone form thoughts in general.

he’d fluctuate between a slow and a fast pace because he doesn’t want you to cum too quick but he also kinda wants you to and so while he’s doing that, you’re struggling to keep your eyes open even by a bit.

and everytime your eyes fall shut, he gives you thigh a quick little nibble to get you back on track, hopefully.

you’re nothing but a babbling mess under his sharp yet adoring gaze. your mouth yearns to say anything other than swears but your mind is merely a puddle in that head of yours all thanks to your boyfriend.

one of his hands intertwined gingerly with yours as he sucked and lapped at your dripping pussy longingly—as if your juices were his only source of hydration. your lids threaten to shut from the immense pleasure, grip on his hand tightening as your abdomen tingled.

your eyes shut and just when you’re about to cum, he pulls away and bites at your thigh, which get a dejected whine from you.

when he’s on the receiving end, he wants to go slow cause just looking at your eyes almost makes him cum, but he just wants to see you but your mouth is so warm—ripping pathetic noises from him, ranging from uneven breaths to whimpers and whines. 

his hand tightly enveloping yours as you suck at his tip before taking his cock all the way to the hilt, making his abdomen shudder and tense at the sensation whilst his mouth hung wide open yet all that came out were silent sobs.

his golden locks were now in disarray and intermingled with sweat as his stomach quivered each time you took him to the base. pre cum practically pooling in your mouth as his breathing became more ragged.

though despite his eyes being on the verge of closure, his sights were forever trained on you and how pretty your swollen lips looked around his aching cock. swears slipping from his tongue in a melody that left your core warm with fiery arousal. his chest rising and falling with each quickened breath as his hips began to involuntarily buck as he neared his climax.

© zujime. all rights reserved. do not translate, copy, modify, repost or claim any of my works on any platform as yours.

[writingstoraes]

total swiftie 🎶

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader

type: instagram imagine/social media au

notes: this was requested but somehow i cant find it in my inbox :(( anyway i hope u like this, anon! happy the eras tour 🤍 sorry this took so long lol

about: it's your life mission to convert charles into a total swiftie.

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, isahernaez, carlossainz55, and 234,592 others

yourusername i once believed love would be burning red — but it's golden, like daylight 🌅

appreciation post for the personification of the lover album, songs and the entire english vocabulary are not enough to express how much i adore u 🤍

(ps. pls join me in being a swiftie baby)

tagged: charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc As much as I want to, I just can't grasp the folklore love triangle, amoúr

f1swift LMAO NOT THE FOLKLORE LOVE TRIANGLE??? Y/N SO REAL FOR THIS

lecsmidnight absolutely right queen charles is such a lover album

sainzz55 more like 1989???

pierregasly I caught Charles today watching the Bejeweled music video if it helps 😅

charles_leclerc MATE

yourusername awwww baby :((

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, arthurleclerc, lorenzotl, and 1,329,112 others

charles_leclerc Spontaneous adventure around the city at night + my passenger princess ❤️ (She races me for the AUX and blasts Taylor songs the whole ride in her efforts to convert me into a swiftie)

tagged: yourusername

yourusername anddd how am i doing so far?

charles_leclerc Getting close 😘

leclercs13 y/n converting charles into a swiftie is just so real of her

carlossainz55 Just be a swiftie Charles, Midnights is so good 😁

yourusername SEE YOU GET IT CARLOS

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, leclerc_pascale, lorenzotl, and 1,892,330 others

charles_leclerc How I masterminded my way into catching my girlfriend by surprise with the fact that I actually am a Swiftie:

1. Adore how passionate she becomes when talking about her favorite artist

2. Let her rant about album theories, which "Taylor's version" we get next, and finally listen properly when she explains the folklore love triangle

3. Learn Taylor Swift's entire discography, from debut until now

4. Pester the whole grid in helping me get The Eras front row tour tickets

5. Surprise her with the concert tickets and just watch her have the time of her life (surprised that I know the lyrics to the songs)

6. Just when she thinks the night ends at the concert, take her to a magnificent dinner and propose using a "Paper Rings" reference.

isahernaez Oh my god the big surprise is finally here! Congratulations, you two 🥂

lecs13 WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE LAST STEP IM GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT

sainzzhero charles proposing what the actual FUCK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING

danielricciardo ...I am so honored to be the one who got the tickets (me and my fast typing skills)

landonorris You only got those cause my computer lagged 😒

carlossainz55 You two arguing I was literally the first one on the website

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon23, pierregasly, and 507,991 others

yourusername i like shiny things, but i'd marry you with paper rings, charles_leclerc 💍

except you actually got me a real ring, but i would have said yes as long as it's you. je tàime, my love 🤍

charles_leclerc Excited to spend the rest of my life screaming Taylor Swift songs in the car with you, baby 😚

c2legends such goals im going to cry

charles1655 GOD ME WHEN

lewishamilton Congratulations, Y/N and Charles 🥂 Swiftie Charles is a refreshing new side of him hahaha

carlossainz55 Best wishes, you two! Please remember: I was the first on the ticket website. Don't believe whatever Daniel says 😁

arthur_leclerc Welcome to the family, Y/N! I also want tour tickets 🙏

--------

tagging: @slytherheign

notes: this took some time to make lol ANYWAYYYY thank you so much for reading and lmk what u guys think! 🤍 tumblr is giving me a hard time right now apparently the formatting is weird in ios devices 🥹 like the bold texts are all off n shit and it wont let me fix it 😭

[moonselune]

My app crashed the first time I tried to ask this, so if you have 1/3 of an ask like this somewhere in your inbox Im sorry! I was hoping to request the lady companions reactions to realizing Tav is some sort of night creature after they repeatedly become agitated around large amounts of blood. Blown pupils, shallow breathing, restless hands and some grinding of the teeth. Tav confesses to being a Dhampir, born of a vampire and a human, they also confess that they havent drank blood since they were a child who knew no better. Please and as always, Thank you!!

yes i love this i love playing around with different dnd races

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Karlach:

The two of you were sparring as you always did, the rhythmic clashing of your weapons echoing through the camp. Karlach was laughing, her bright eyes lit with joy and her wild hair sticking to her sweat-slicked skin. You loved seeing her like this—free, vibrant, full of life. It was a stark contrast to the horrors you’d both endured, and it made every moment with her that much sweeter.

But in the heat of the moment, she misjudged a step, stumbling over an uneven patch of ground, and her axe slipped from her grasp. She tried to catch herself, but her momentum carried her forward, and she ended up scraping her arm against the rough stone. A hiss of pain escaped her lips, and you instantly dropped your weapon, moving to her side.

“Karlach, are you alright?” you asked, concern flooding your voice.

“It’s nothing, just a scratch,” she reassured you, but the scent of her blood was already hanging heavy in the air, coppery and warm. And something inside you twisted, pulled tight, then snapped.

You tried to swallow, but your throat was dry. Your breathing grew ragged, your pupils dilating, and a desperate hunger began clawing its way to the surface. You took a step back, your hand shaking as you reached up to cover your mouth, feeling your teeth grind together in an attempt to suppress the urge.

You wanted to turn away, to run, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the crimson trickling down Karlach’s arm. It was all you could focus on, the world narrowing to that single line of blood.

Karlach frowned, concern etched on her features as she took a step closer.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Why do you look so…?” Her voice trailed off as realization dawned, her eyes widening. “You’re… you’re shaking. Why?”

You closed your eyes, trying to regain some semblance of control, but it was slipping.

“Karlach, I… I need to tell you something,” you whispered, voice barely more than a rasp. “Something I should have told you a long time ago.”

She nodded, her eyes never leaving your face. “I’m listening.”

You took a shuddering breath, feeling your heart hammering in your chest as you forced the words out.

“I’m a Dhampir. Born of a vampire and a human. It means I have their hunger… their craving for blood. And I—" You struggled to find the words, shame burning in your chest. “I haven’t fed since I was a child. Since I didn’t know any better.”

The silence that followed was suffocating. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at her, terrified of what you might see. Would she be disgusted? Afraid? You’d always feared this moment, the truth unraveling everything you’d built together.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Karlach’s voice was soft, gentle, not the angry or fearful tone you’d been expecting. You dared to glance up, and you were met with eyes that were filled not with judgment but with understanding.

“I… I didn’t want you to see me as a monster. I thought if I could just keep it hidden, I’d be fine. But your blood, Karlach… I’m sorry. It’s so hard to control sometimes.”

She took another step closer, and you flinched, expecting her to pull away. Instead, she cupped your face with her hand, her thumb brushing over your cheek.

“You’re not a monster. You’re my love,” she said firmly, her eyes never wavering from yours. “You’ve kept this part of yourself hidden for so long… You must have been so scared.”

“I was,” you admitted, voice cracking. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Least of all, you.”

Karlach let out a breathy laugh, the kind that made her shoulders shake just a little.

“Babe, you think a little blood is gonna scare me off?” She tilted your chin up so you’d look her in the eyes. “I’ve seen things, terrible things, things that would make most people turn tail and run. But I’m still here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

You couldn’t hold back the tears that slipped down your cheeks, the relief so overwhelming it made your knees weak. “But… what if I can’t control it?”

She pulled you into her arms, her grip strong and steady, the warmth of her body grounding you in the moment.

“Then we’ll figure it out together,” she whispered into your hair. “If you need blood, you’ll have mine. I’m tougher than I look.”

You pulled back, searching her eyes, trying to find any hint of hesitation, but there was none. All you saw was love, fierce and unyielding, the kind of love that would go to war for you. “You mean that?”

“With all my heart,” she said, pressing her forehead to yours. “But let’s take it one step at a time, alright?”

You nodded, the weight of your confession lifting as Karlach held you close, her heartbeat steady and strong against your own. “Thank you,” you whispered.

“No, thank you,” she murmured back, her lips brushing against your temple. “For trusting me enough to let me see all of you. Even the parts you thought were unlovable.”

And as you stood there, wrapped in her warmth, the hunger still gnawing at the edges of your mind, you felt a little less alone, a little less monstrous.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Minthara:

The night was quiet, save for the crackling fire that threw flickering shadows against the stone walls of your tent. You sat across from Minthara, your lover, your gaze lingering on her as she spoke of her recent skirmish. The way her lips moved, the subtle arch of her brow, the power in her voice—every detail captivated you, made your heart pound with a mix of desire and anxiety.

But tonight, it wasn't the usual flutter of longing. Tonight, something else simmered beneath the surface, something primal, something you'd suppressed for so many years. You tried to keep it hidden, tried to maintain control, but you could feel the way your breath hitched, the way your pupils dilated until your eyes were nearly black. Your fingers twitched, restless, aching to grab onto something—anything—to steady yourself. Your teeth ground together, an old habit you'd picked up long ago, back when you first realized the hunger inside you would never fully go away.

Minthara noticed, of course. She always did. Her sharp eyes narrowed as she took in your restless movements, the tension in your posture, and without hesitation, she closed the distance between you.

"What is it?" she asked, her voice soft but firm. "What has you so agitated?"

You swallowed hard, feeling the sharp edges of your fangs brushing against your lower lip. You had kept this secret for so long, terrified of what it might mean, of what she might think. But the need had grown too strong, the yearning too unbearable. It was time to tell her the truth, no matter the consequences.

"I'm a Dhampir," you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper, as if saying it aloud would somehow make it more real. "Born from a union between a vampire and a human."

Her eyes widened, the golden light of the fire dancing in her gaze. She didn't say anything, didn't move, just stared at you with that intensity she always had, the one that made you feel like she was peeling back every layer of you, seeing every hidden part.

You took a shaky breath, pushing forward before you could lose your nerve.

"I haven't fed on blood since I was a child. I didn’t know any better then, and when I realized what I was, I swore I wouldn’t indulge that side of me." You clenched your fists, your nails digging into your palms. "But lately… it's getting harder to control. Especially around you."

The silence stretched between you, thick and heavy, until finally, Minthara moved. Her hand shot out, grabbing your wrist in a vice-like grip, her eyes blazing with a fierce intensity.

"You haven't fed since you were a child?" she repeated, her voice low and dangerous, tinged with disbelief. "Why?"

You flinched, half-expecting her to recoil in disgust or horror, but she only tightened her grip, pulling you closer until you could feel her breath against your skin.

"Because I didn’t want to become like them," you whispered, the fear and shame you'd carried for so long spilling out with each word. "I didn’t want to be a monster."

Her other hand came up to your chin, tilting your head until you were forced to meet her gaze. There was no fear in her eyes, no revulsion—only a fierce protectiveness and a touch of sadness.

"You are not a monster," she said, her voice like velvet, rich and commanding. "You are my love, and you have been starving yourself out of some misguided sense of control."

You blinked, stunned, as she released your wrist and shifted closer, her fingers tracing the line of your jaw, the curve of your lips.

"This hunger is a part of you," she murmured, her thumb brushing over your bottom lip. "It is not something to fear or suppress. It is simply… you."

You shuddered, your body trembling with a mix of relief and yearning as her words sank in.

"I don’t want to hurt you," you confessed, your voice breaking. "I don’t want to hurt anyone."

A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, fierce and full of pride.

"You won’t," she assured you. "Because I will not allow it." She leaned in, her lips ghosting over the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your spine. "You say you haven’t fed since you were a child? Then it is high time you do so."

You pulled back, staring at her in disbelief. "Minthara, I can’t—"

"You can," she interrupted, her tone brooking no argument. She pulled out her dagger, her eyes never leaving yours, and cut down on her wrist, hard, until blood welled up around the wound. She held it out to you, the rich, coppery scent filling the air, making your mouth water. "Take it."

You stared at her, your resolve crumbling, the hunger gnawing at your insides, demanding you accept her offer.

"I don’t want to hurt you," you whispered again, but it was weaker this time, less convincing. Minthara rolled her eyes, a soft chuckle escaping her lips.

"You could never hurt me, my love. But if you won’t take from me," she continued, her voice growing serious, "I will go out and find someone else for you. Someone willing. You will not starve yourself any longer. Not while I’m here."

You swallowed hard, your throat dry as you watched the blood drip from her wrist, each drop like a drumbeat in your ears. Your eyes flicked up to meet hers, and you saw nothing but determination, nothing but love. Slowly, tentatively, you took her offered wrist in your hands, feeling the warmth of her skin, the steady pulse of her heartbeat beneath your fingers.

She watched you, her gaze steady and unyielding, and you knew this was her choice. That she wanted to do this for you, to share this with you. And that thought, more than anything else, gave you the courage to finally give in.

You brought her wrist to your lips, hesitating for only a moment before you let your fangs sink into her flesh, a soft gasp escaping her as you began to drink. The taste of her blood was rich and warm, flooding your senses, and you couldn’t help the low moan that escaped your throat, the hunger that had been clawing at you for so long finally, blissfully, sated.

Minthara’s free hand came up to cradle the back of your head, her fingers tangling in your hair as she pulled you closer, her voice low and breathless.

"That’s it," she murmured, her eyes fluttering shut. "Take what you need."

You did. You drank deeply, your body trembling with the sheer intensity of the experience, with the feeling of being accepted, of being loved despite the darkness within you. When you finally pulled away, panting, blood smeared across your lips, Minthara leaned in, her forehead resting against yours, her own breath ragged.

"Never again," she whispered, her voice fierce and commanding. "You will never deny yourself again. Do you understand?"

You nodded, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you wrapped your arms around her, holding her close.

"I understand," you whispered back, the words a promise, a vow. "I understand."

And for the first time in a long while, you felt at peace.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lae'zel:

The two of you had been sparring in the training grounds, blades flashing in the late afternoon sun. It was a familiar dance, one that you and Lae'zel had perfected over the months spent together. You moved with precision, and she moved with ferocity—both of you pushing each other to the limits. Her strength always thrilled you, the way her muscles tensed and flexed, the way she seemed so utterly in control of herself and her surroundings.

But in one particularly fierce exchange, Lae'zel miscalculated her step. Your sword deflected hers with more force than either of you anticipated, and the tip nicked the exposed skin of her arm. It was just a shallow cut, nothing serious, but enough to draw blood. You saw it first—red against her pale green skin, slowly trickling down her forearm—and your breath hitched.

The scent hit you next, thick and coppery, more intoxicating than any wine. Your vision swam for a moment, and you blinked hard, trying to clear it. But it was no use. You could feel it, that terrible, gnawing hunger clawing its way up your throat, something deep within you that you had buried so long ago, now rising to the surface.

You staggered back, desperately trying to gain control, but your eyes wouldn’t leave the crimson stain on her arm.

“Lae’zel,” you rasped, your voice hoarse, “you’re bleeding.”

Lae’zel glanced down at her arm with a mild annoyance, lifting it to inspect the wound.

“Tch. It is nothing,” she said dismissively, but her eyes flicked to you, and her expression shifted. “You… you look unwell.”

You shook your head, but you couldn’t hide the way your pupils had blown wide, the way your hands trembled. You swallowed hard, fighting the urge to lick your lips. “Lae’zel, I… I need to tell you something.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, tilting her head to the side. “Then speak, lover. This is no time for riddles.”

You drew in a shuddering breath. “I’m a Dhampir, Lae’zel. Born of a vampire and a human.” You hesitated, watching for her reaction, but she remained impassive, waiting for you to continue. “I haven’t fed on blood since I was a child, when I didn’t know any better. I’ve kept this part of myself hidden because I never wanted to… to hurt anyone.”

The silence that followed was heavy, oppressive. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet her gaze, fearing what you might find there. You waited for the disgust, the anger, the rejection. Instead, you heard a snort—a familiar, almost amused sound that made you look up in surprise.

“You are a fool,” Lae’zel said, her tone bordering on exasperation. “This is what causes you such distress?”

You blinked, caught off guard. “What?”

She rolled her eyes, stepping forward as if this was the most mundane revelation she’d ever heard.

“You require blood to survive. You are not the first creature to do so. This is no great tragedy.” She gestured dismissively, as if brushing aside the very notion of your confession. “I shall find you blood. There are plenty who would willingly give it, or I will hunt down something suitable.”

“You’re… you’re not horrified?” you asked, still reeling from her reaction.

“Horrified?” Lae’zel barked out a short, harsh laugh. “If anything, I am irritated that you have denied yourself what you need. You are my mate, my partner. How do you expect to fight, to survive, if you are constantly battling against your own nature?” She shook her head, as if the answer were so painfully obvious. “This is no issue. It is simply another part of you. A part that I will care for, as I do all others.”

You stared at her, unable to process her nonchalance, the way she dismissed what you’d thought would be an insurmountable obstacle. “You… you really don’t mind?”

Lae’zel stepped closer, her fingers reaching out to tilt your chin up so you had no choice but to meet her eyes. There was no fear there, no revulsion. Just that fierce, unyielding strength that you had always admired. “I have chosen you, and I do not choose lightly. If blood is what you need, then blood is what you shall have. This changes nothing.”

You felt the tension drain out of you, the fear and the shame you’d carried for so long melting away in the face of her acceptance.

“Thank you,” you whispered, voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t… I didn’t know how you’d react.”

“You underestimate me,” she said, a hint of a smirk playing on her lips. “But do not do so again.” Her eyes flicked to the wound on her arm, and she held it up to you, the blood still fresh. “Take it,” she commanded.

You recoiled instinctively, shaking your head. “No, I can’t—”

“Take it,” Lae’zel repeated, more forcefully this time. “You have denied yourself long enough. Now, drink.”

Trembling, you reached out, your fingers brushing over her skin. She didn’t flinch, didn’t pull away. Instead, she watched you with a steady gaze, as if daring you to defy her. And with a tentative breath, you leaned in, your lips pressing against the cut. The taste of her blood flooded your senses—rich, warm, and overwhelmingly powerful. It made your entire body shiver, a sensation so intense it left you breathless.

Lae’zel’s fingers tightened in your hair, holding you there as you drank, her voice a low, commanding growl. “Good. Now you will not suffer.”

You pulled back, licking your lips, feeling more alive, more whole than you had in years. “You’re… you’re not going to lecture me, are you?”

She snorted again, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “No. But the next time you feel this hunger, you will come to me. I will not have my mate weakened by foolish pride.”

You nodded, feeling tears prick at your eyes. “Thank you, Lae’zel. For everything.”

She cupped your face with both hands, her touch surprisingly gentle.

“Do not thank me,” she said, pressing her forehead against yours. “Simply remember this: you are mine, and I do not tolerate weakness. Together, we will ensure you remain strong. Always.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that, leaning into her touch, feeling the warmth of her skin against your own.

“Always,” you whispered, and for the first time in a long while, you truly believed it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Shadowheart:

The two of you had been exploring the outskirts of the forest, collecting herbs for potions and bandages. It was a simple, quiet day, one of those rare moments of peace that felt almost stolen amidst the chaos of the world. Shadowheart hummed softly to herself as she reached for a particularly stubborn plant, yanking it free with a bit too much force. The thorny stem nicked her finger, and a small bead of blood welled up, dark red against her pale skin.

You didn’t think much of it at first. It was a tiny cut, barely more than a scratch, but then the scent hit you—rich and metallic, filling the air in a way that made your head spin. You tried to turn away, to focus on anything else, but it was too late. The hunger that you had buried so deep, the hunger you had forced into submission for years, suddenly reared its head.

Your breathing quickened, your vision narrowed, and you felt your fangs ache in your mouth. The world seemed to blur around you, and all you could see was the crimson drop slowly sliding down Shadowheart’s finger. You clenched your fists, nails digging into your palms, desperate to regain control, but your body refused to listen.

Shadowheart looked up then, catching the way you trembled, the way your eyes were locked onto her bleeding finger.

“Are you alright?” she asked, concern lacing her voice.

You tried to answer, but your throat felt dry, your mouth parched. You could only shake your head, forcing the words out one at a time. “Shadowheart, I… I need to tell you something.”

She stepped closer, the concern deepening. “What is it? You’re shaking.”

“I… I’m a Dhampir,” you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m half-vampire, half-human. Born from both. I haven’t… I haven’t tasted blood since I was a child. I swore I wouldn’t, that I’d never become what my bloodline demands.”

Her eyes widened, her lips parting in surprise. “You’re a…?” She trailed off, looking at you, then at her bleeding finger. “And my blood—”

“It’s setting me off,” you admitted, shame burning in your chest. “I’m sorry, I’ve tried so hard to keep it under control, but sometimes… sometimes it’s too much.” You clenched your fists tighter, nails cutting into your skin, trying to use the pain to ground yourself. “I didn’t want you to see this side of me.”

For a long moment, she said nothing, just staring at you. You braced yourself for her disgust, her rejection. But instead, a slow, wicked grin spread across her face, and she stepped even closer.

“You know,” she murmured, her voice dropping to a sultry tone, “I’ve always found that sort of thing incredibly hot.”

You blinked, utterly taken aback. “What?”

Shadowheart shrugged, the grin still playing at her lips. “I mean, it’s not every day you find out your lover is a Dhampir, denying their primal instincts for your sake. It’s… well, it’s rather attractive, if I’m being honest.”

A laugh burst out of you before you could stop it, the absurdity of the situation hitting you all at once. You, terrified of rejection, and here she was, turned on by it all.

“Are you serious?” you managed to say, still chuckling. “You’re actually… into this?”

Shadowheart rolled her eyes, giving you a playful scowl. “Yes, I’m serious. Everyone is allowed their fantasies, you know. I happen to find this one quite intriguing.” She took your hand, lifting it to her lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “You should be glad I’m coming to you with it and not, say, Astarion. He’d never let you hear the end of it.”

You laughed again, the tension finally melting away. “You’re unbelievable,” you said, shaking your head. “Here I am, confessing the darkest part of myself, and you’re just… rolling with it.”

“Well, you did say you hadn’t fed since you were a child, didn’t you?” she pointed out, her tone teasing. “I’d say that makes you more disciplined than most. Besides, I trust you.”

“You trust me?” you echoed, the words sinking into your heart like a balm. “Even with this?”

“Especially with this,” she said, her expression softening. “I know you would never hurt me. Not like this.”

You felt a warmth spread through you, one that had nothing to do with bloodlust and everything to do with the woman standing before you.

“You’re something else, Shadowheart, my love,” you murmured, pulling her close, your forehead resting against hers. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” she whispered, her breath warm against your lips. “Just… next time, if you need it, if it gets to be too much… you come to me. I’ll be here.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” you promised, and when she kissed you, it tasted sweeter than any blood ever could.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaheira:

The two of you had been on a routine mission, a simple patrol near the outskirts of your camp when Jaheira, your beloved, cut her arm on a jagged branch. It was a minor wound, barely a scratch by her standards, but as you watched the crimson streak of blood well up and slide down her tanned skin, something inside you stirred.

You fought against it, as you always did, tried to keep the hunger buried beneath layers of self-control. But your senses were sharper than they’d been in a long time, your body seemingly reacting on instinct. Your heart started to race, your breathing growing shallow, and your hands began to twitch with barely restrained need. Jaheira glanced up at you, arching an eyebrow.

"Are you alright, my love?" she asked, voice tinged with concern.

You struggled to respond, your mouth suddenly dry. "I… I need to tell you something, Jaheira," you finally managed, forcing the words out. “Something I’ve kept hidden for a long time.”

She looked at you, eyes narrowing slightly, a hint of worry creeping into her features. “What is it?”

“I’m… a Dhampir,” you confessed, swallowing hard. “Half-vampire, half-human. Born of both.” You glanced down, unable to meet her gaze. “I haven’t fed on blood since I was a child. I’ve always fought against that part of myself.”

Jaheira stared at you for a long moment before she threw her head back and laughed—a loud, genuine sound that echoed through the forest.

“Oh, you’re good,” she said, still chuckling, “For a moment there, you almost had me believing you.”

You blinked, taken aback. “I’m serious, Jaheira.”

She snorted, shaking her head. “Sure you are. I’ve lived a long life, you know. I think I’d have noticed if my lover was a blood-sucking creature of the night.” She smirked, patting your cheek affectionately. “Next, you’ll tell me you’re secretly a dragon or that I’ve been harboring a Mindflayer in my bedroll.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. This was going to be more difficult than you’d thought.

“No, really,” you insisted, “I mean it. I can’t stand the sight of garlic. I’m immune to poisons, and I have to actively avoid looking into mirrors because my reflection is… well, less than reliable.”

Jaheira chuckled again, clearly still unconvinced.

“Oh, and do you also burst into flames in the sunlight? Should I be worried about you during the day, then?” she teased, nudging you with her elbow.

You groaned, feeling the frustration build. “For the love of… Jaheira, look!” You grabbed a nearby rock, sharp enough to prick your finger, and allowed a drop of your own blood to bead up. You held it up to her, watching as the crimson droplet shimmered faintly, not quite like a normal human’s.

She paused, eyes narrowing as she inspected it. “Alright, so your blood looks a little different. But that doesn’t prove—”

“Fine,” you muttered, exasperated. “I didn’t want to do this, but you leave me no choice.” You took a deep breath and bared your teeth. Slowly, carefully, you extended your fangs—small but unmistakably sharp—until they gleamed in the dim light.

Jaheira’s laughter died instantly, replaced by a look of wide-eyed surprise. She blinked, staring at your fangs for a few moments, and then looked back up at you, her expression shifting to one of dawning realization. “You’re… you’re not joking.”

You shook your head. “No, Jaheira, I’m not.”

She was silent for a beat longer, then burst into laughter again, though this time it was a softer, more affectionate sound.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” she said, shaking her head. “All these years, and I never would’ve guessed.” She reached up, brushing her fingers against your cheek. “You really are full of surprises, aren’t you?”

You felt your shoulders relax, the tension easing at her acceptance.

“You’re not… horrified?” you asked, still half-expecting her to pull away.

“Horrified? Hardly,” she said with a grin, tracing the tips of your fangs with a curious finger. “If anything, I’m more impressed. Here I thought I knew everything about you.” She paused, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Besides, it makes sense why you’re so good at keeping secrets.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, the sound bubbling up from your chest, full of relief. “Well, at least I finally convinced you.”

“Oh, don’t get cocky,” she teased, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I’ll admit, you had me fooled. But now that I know, I suppose I’ll have to keep an eye on you, won’t I?”

“Someone has to,” you replied, finally feeling the tightness in your chest ease.

Jaheira smirked. “I’ll take that as a challenge.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I loved loved writing this and I hope you guys enjoyed it ! - Seluney xox

If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x

[mins-fins]

AUDERE EST FACERE. — [Z.CL]

❝to dare is to do..❞

SYNOPSIS: where crown prince zhong chenle, forced into a marriage with a woman he doesn't like and riddled with complicated feelings, finds solace in the palace's very own medic, you.

PAIRING: zhong chenle x male!reader

GENRE: royalty au, not really modern but not really medieval time period either, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst, kinda humorous, prince!chenle x medic!reader, kinda forbidden relationship, ambiguous/open ending

WARNINGS: might not be accurate to medieval times, death, blood & gore, forced marriage, mentions of disease, unhealthy ways of grieving, a lot of mentions of violence

WORD COUNT: 22.7k

NOTES: woah woah woah!!! this whole fic broke a whole bunch of isa records…….. hiiii jj 😊 hi chenle stans 😊 hello nct male reader community 😊😊😊 i hope im serving the isanator nation well (consists of 2 ppl) ANYWAY this is one of the works i am genuinely most proud of because for one, it's my longest ever work, and for two, i'm just so happy with how it turned out!! this was originally meant to be like 16k words but then i got carried away and now this is here 🙁 i truly apologize for how long this is but PLEASEEE dont get bored i swear it gets good 😞😞 and i did write ambiguous ending but it does seem pretty straightforward so um… im sorry for that, this fic would've been MUCH MUCH LONGER than 22k words but i already beat my former wc record so i just cut a bunch of other unnecessary scenes 😶 alright thats enough of my yapping!! ily jj my bsf ever ty for listening to me ramble abt this endlessly in ur inbox 😊😊💗

CHENLE REMEMBERS IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. his little feet sneakily took him away from the huge meeting room full of intimidating adults talking about gibberish, and slowly, they lead him to a much more enjoyable place. at the time, seven year old chenle couldn't figure out why his parents needed such a big meeting room, or why all of these important people came to the castle every few months, to him, those strangers were nothing but tryhards, greedy men and women who were never pleased no matter how much they were offered.

seven year old chenle could never truly figure out why his parents insisted on having him sit around with these other important adults, listening to them talk about the economy, kingdom relations, marriage, all this stuff that isn't interesting to seven year old boys.

the young prince found his feet leading him to a place of familiar comfort, the palace's own rose garden. he could never truly explain why the air surrounding the abundance of roses ever became of comfort to him, because roses are anything but comfortable to hold, but whenever he felt like father and mothers fights were getting too aggressive, he could just come here and everything would be okay.

the gardener, a woman by the name of mrs. qian, was always sweet to chenle, much sweeter than his father usually was. her son, qian kun, is basically chenle's older brother, the older boy often comes around whenever his mothers in work, and he tells chenle stories of what goes on at the village schools, the newest gossip and adventures he's gone on with his friends.

chenle often finds himself interested in the life of a commoner, they're all just so intriguing.. he can't believe the stories most of the time, but he is homeschooled, and has been holed up in this castle for as long as he can remember, so how he can prove or debunk any of these things? he just thinks that non-royals are some of the most entertaining people he knows, they're all so hilarious.

as soon as the seven year old chenle stepped into the rose garden, a feeling of relief seeps into his body. he takes in a deep breath, and finally allowed for his shoulders to slump, much too tired of having to keep his back straight all this time.

he lets himself relax into the atmosphere, finally away from the suffocated room full of adults seemingly speaking a language he could not understand. if that's what kings and queens have to do, chenle thinks he'd rather not take the throne.

the seven year old prince allowed for his eyes to scan the garden, it's empty. well that makes sense, mrs. qian isn't in today and neither is her son, they went on a holiday. he sighs to himself, he misses kun's company, but alas, no one is around.

chenle makes his way around to a specific rose bush, it has the most roses out of the bunch. seven year old chenle used to think the rose bushes were magic, the roses always grew so quickly, one day there'd be none and the next there'd be hundreds, it was purely shocking to the young prince.

chenle, as always, began tracing the shape of the roses with his finger. he finds them pretty, as he does all flowers. it might sound like he's being basic, but roses are probably his favorite of the bunch. they're just so beautiful, and most importantly— they're sharp.

but the seven year old chenle is startled out of his rose admiring due to a shout.

"hey! don't touch those!"

the young prince furrowed his eyebrows at the words, what's wrong with touching the roses? it's not like there are garden rules or anything. when chenle turned to the source of the shout, that's when he sees the person.

you, it was you. adorable seven year old you who ran up to him as quickly as you could, you stopped as soon as you made it his way, panting like you had just run a marathon. "don't touch the roses".

the young chenle blinked, puzzled. "why can't i touch them? i'm the prince you can't tell me what to do—"

"they're sharp! you're gonna hurt yourself see?" you pointed at chenle's hand, and he looked down, eyes widening as he came across the sight. his finger was bleeding, oh that's bad. "roses have thorns, you have to be careful".

chenle had no idea who you were then, but all he knew was that you were worried. your eyes were watering, as if you were going to burst into tears at any moment, and you took a deep breath as you slowly began freaking out over the small cut on the prince's index finger. "oh uh— i didn't even notice".

"it's okay really, god i have a bandaid don't i? hold on.." you mumbled, worried as ever as you began rummaging through your pockets, trying to find a bandaid to patch up the prince with.

"it's fine it's just a small cut i.." chenle paused in between his words, clearing his throat. "who are you?"

right, you were still a stranger, chenle had no idea who you were then, for all he could know, you had broken into the palace or something. you finally stopped looking through your pocket, your face went a bright red as you faced the prince again. "um my name is y/n, i'm the—"

"y/n honey? where did you run off to?"

now chenle recognized that voice, that was the voice of the palace's sweet medic. mrs. l/n had a voice that was like honey, she was easily one of chenle's favorite staff members, not only because she would always be there to wipe his tears when he scraped his knee, but she always offered him delicious candy. "oh! there you are!"

"good afternoon mrs. l/n" chenle politely greeted, and you let out a small sigh of relief at the sight of your mother, though that look of worry was still prominent in your eyes.

"chenle, how are you doing?" she reached over to ruffle the young prince's hair, which he accepted happily, giggling at the gesture. "i'm doing good, ma'am".

"he has a cut on his finger" you muttered to her, and a small 'ah' leaves her lips as she finally realized what was going on. "i wanted to help him but i didn't have any bandaids" you seemed disappointed in yourself, as your gaze immediately lowered to the floor.

"oh sweetie, it's okay" your mother shook your shoulder, reassuring you. "just remember to call me before running off".

"i'll remember, sorry".

the young prince blinked at the sight before him, though he continued to smile at the sight of your mother. "sorry for yelling at you, your highness" you muttered in your low voice, and all chenle did was shake his head, waving you off.

"it's alright you were just trying to help" chenle replied, he finds seven year old you to be the epitome of adorable, just the cutest person in the world.

"let's get you that bandaid yeah?"

chenle nodded, you nodded, and the two of you proceeded to follow your mother out of the garden and to her office.

when chenle thinks back to this moment, the moment he first met you, he likes to compare it to an explosive, just waiting to be lit, just waiting to be set off and destroy everything. when he thinks back to the first moment he met you, chenle can't help but reminisce about it.

after your mother helped him with his cut, the two of you.. talked. you talked about things all seven year old boys talk about, and it was one of the highlights of chenle's day, though he kept trying to make you drop the formalities and call him by his first name, you vehemently disagreed.

the two of you became friends (and just chenle calling the two of you "friends" was enough to almost send seven year old you into cardiac arrest), a royal and a commoner, but chenle never saw it that way, chenle has never seen it that way. a friend is a friend, regardless of status or their economic situation. yes chenle is at a great advantage, being the prince of the kingdom you lived in, but he never held it over you, he isn't like that.

you were— are a special friend to chenle. sometimes, it feels like the two of you have known each other your whole lives. you mean much more to him than he actually lets slip, but he'll never let that be known, even under kun's watchful eye and jisung's insistence on knowing if you two really are just "friends".

chenle spends a lot of time thinking about the day you two first met, it's like a looping episode of a show in his head.

"chenle? did you even hear me?"

no response.

a grunt of frustration is sounded in the room, but the prince doesn't react, much too busy zoned out as a specific memory replays in his head for the seventh time that hour.

"chenle! pay attention!"

the slam of a hand against the table, paired with the loud shout is enough to snap the now twenty one year old crown prince out of his little dazed memory recalling session. chenle startles, but he quickly lets his face relax, sighing as he rejoins the conversation he'd previously zoned out on. "what?"

chenle's mother pinches the bridge of her nose, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. "marriage, chenle, that's what were talking about".

oh god, chenle resists the urge to groan. he isn't exactly on board with this whole marriage thing, but then again, he has no other choice, his father is gone and he's next in line for the throne, this is how it goes for each royal family, he should just suck it up and deal with it head on. "yeah yeah, sorry, i didn't sleep much last night".

it's not exactly a lie, these days usually have chenle plagued with some sort of sleeplessness, but that isn't the main reason he was zoned out, obviously. "alright.. anyway, i talked with the zhu's, we agreed that you and their daughter, yinuo, are to marry".

chenle recognizes the family name, unfortunately, he doesn't exactly recognize their daughter. "you're marrying me off to a stranger? what about the girls i actually know, suyin? jia? mingxia? they're actually my friends, i'd be much more comfortable with them than a princess i've never met".

"marriage doesn't work like that, chenle" the words are enough to make chenle grit his teeth, he bites his tongue, though. "all you have to do is merely get along with her enough that it looks like you're in love at the wedding, rule the kingdom, and have children".

chenle raises an eyebrow, rocking back and forth in his chair. "that sounds a tad bit dystopian, mother".

the older woman does nothing but narrow her eyes at chenle, a look he's become used to receiving from her at this point. "it's just how everything goes, le, i don't know what to tell you".

chenle bites his inner cheek, looking everywhere else in the room. he always knew marriage was a custom, if not out of true love, it would be out of convenience. chenle had been given so much time to go find a woman to fall in love with, but he didn't find it that easy, maybe he just has too many requirements when it comes to love. he doesn't exactly support the whole thing about creating new heirs, but he was born into this family for this reason, what is the point of being a king if not sacrificing his freedom for the happiness of others?

chenle has always known that he wouldn't exactly enjoy this part of his life, and his father just had to go early, he is very much upset, but he doesn't disclose those feelings to anyone. after his long minutes of silence, chenle stands up from the table, again facing his mother. "yes yes i get it, mother" he mutters, making his way over to his mother and pressing a kiss to her cheek, realizing that she was trembling in anxiousness. "don't worry about me, i'll be fine".

but would he really? chenle can't exactly determine that.

"HOW DID YOUR LITTLE MARRIAGE CONVERSATION GO?" QIAN KUN cannot contain his interest, immediately finding chenle and inquiring about his upcoming marriage. chenle can always go to kun to talk about things troubling his mind, the older is a person of solace for him, a comfort in this big castle that seems to be swallowing him whole. chenle is glad he has kun, even with how much he does tease him, he's truly grateful for the older. "whose the lucky lady?" the words are enough to get a groan out of chenle, who shoved his nose into his book.

"zhu yinuo".

kun's eyes widen, clearly he recognizes that name. "of azerene?"

chenle clicks his tongue, not sparing the older a glance. "yes, that one".

the older male hums, merely glancing at the crown prince. "why do you sound so uninterested? marriage should be a fun topic for you".

his teasing tone doesn't breeze past chenle, but the younger doesn't comment on it, focusing on the topic of the novel in his hands. "not when it's with a women i don't know, i'm just being placed into a union with a stranger, a stranger who i'm then going to have make babies with so that the treasurable zhong family lives on for generations and generations".

"well isn't that the whole point of royal families, though?" kun asks absentmindedly, it seems he meant to say that in his head, seeing as how he slaps a hand over his mouth immediately after the question escapes his lips, but chenle doesn't mind, getting offended over such a question is the last of his worries. "..sorry".

"it's alright" chenle responds, his voice a low echo in the expanse of a room. "it's how most things go anyway, i should know better than to question it".

"i just don't think it's fair" chenle only gives a mere hum, though he notices kun's tone of concern. "yeah you're supposed to create heirs at the end of the day, but not even with someone you love?"

"you ask too many questions".

kun scoffs, turning to chenle with a look of betrayal in his eyes. "i'm just saying what your thinking, chenle, i worry about you".

chenle, who sighs silently, finally closes his book and gives the older an indistinguishable look. "you don't have to worry about me, i'll be fine, i always am".

a lie, one as clear as day too. chenle doesn't exactly know how to explain what he feels, sometimes it feels like everything is bubbling up slowly, closing in on him and suffocating him to death. he assumes it's normal to feel like this, especially with people who don't talk about how they feel, but chenle doesn't know how to bring it up to people without making everything weird.

it's all just complicated.

chenle finally stands up, running a hand through his hair and folding the page of his book as to not lose his page. he makes his way over to kun, whose mindlessly folding his own clothes as he admires the butterfly tank before him.

the butterflies were an installment chenle begged for his father to get for him after he read a book on metamorphosis once, it was a gift for his twelfth birthday, though he wanted a room to be a whole conservatory for him, his father said that would be "unnecessary" (and as an adult, chenle is inclined to agree with that statement). he finds the winged beings to be beautiful, a kind of striking that only specific animals can replicate.

yes, chenle is a huge fan of butterflies, his love for them runs deep. he lightly taps the glass encasing the creatures with his nail, gaze laser focused on the flying insects and their bright colored wings.

"you say that all the time, but i can never truly tell if you are" kun finally responds after letting his answer wither in the silence of the room, his eyes wander over to chenle, who does nothing but admire the trapped butterflies before him.

the words get a small smile out of chenle, but he's not sure why, though they do make him smile. "i am fine, there's no need to look in further".

"you know me, i'm always going to look further".

chenle allows for himself to chuckle at the response. he's right about that.

he stares at the butterflies encased in the glass box, practically trapped against their own will. his mind wanders, the butterflies remind him of something very familiar.

but he pretends to have no idea what it is.

CHENLE OFTEN FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS THESE DAYS. after the first two hours of insomnia took over, the crown prince decided to entertain himself by reading that book he's left off at earlier that day, but by the time he looked at the clock again, two more hours had passed, and he had finished the book which he once thought would enthrall him until his body gave into it's exhaustion. he lets his arm fall, placing the copy of strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde onto his desk. he's still not tired, for some unknown reason. 

maybe another book will do the trick, chenle's mind tells him, and he agrees with that statement enough that he swings out of his bed and his feet grace the cold floor. it's cold, it's always cold at night, but chenle thinks it's always extra cold at night on purpose.

the crown prince tries his best to shake off the freezing temperature of the room, slipping on a fuzzy sweater and grabbing the lamp from his desk. if sleep isn't going to come him, he could at least spend some of the night in the library, it'll be a good way to pass time.

the library is a nice place of comfort, chenle has always been able to relax his mind the most when he's reading. reading is one of the easiest hobbies to have, because you're not tiring yourself out, but your also doing something fun (but chenle has learned that some people don't really describe reading as their idea of 'fun').

when chenle was younger, reading was really all he did. he was homeschooled, so the most lessons he got were three a day, mother and father never cared about what he had to tell them, dismissing his words as just idiotic child talk. no one ever gave him the time of day if they weren't forced to, so chenle quickly found comfort in the many books which littered the library.

by the time chenle was fourteen, he had already read most of the books in the library, and that includes the unnecessarily huge dictionary. he could almost always be found in the library if not in his room or the rose garden, immersing himself in another world of fiction or nonfiction.

the library is basically his second home, he's there all the time, engrossed in the literature which is all he can see.

the constant creaking of the old structure is all chenle can hear as he makes his way over to the library. at one in the morning, the palace is truly creepy, like one of those haunted buildings full of spirits that suddenly scare you in the night.

now, chenle isn't one to believe in the supernatural, but some of these nightly events in the castle truly can't be explained away. sometimes, he almost gives in to believing all of stories about paranormal activity happening in the castle, something about an old king going haywire and murdering his whole entire family.

father and mother would tell him the stories to scare him out of staying up late, saying that old king chen was gonna come out of the walls late at night and scare him if he ever tried to roam the palace halls past his bedtimes.

but chenle's an adult now, much too grown to be believing in some make believe ghost stories.

back to his mission of getting to the library with nothing but his tiny lamp, chenle sighs in the darkness of the empty halls, his sigh seemingly echoing in the silence and bouncing off the walls. he pauses to observe his barely lit surroundings, and he feels his stomach drop when he hears the sound of faint footsteps across the hall.

who else could be awake at this time?

"hello?"

chenle pauses again as he listens to the greeting. he recognizes that voice, it's you, chenle thinks he could recognize your voice from miles away. "y/n?" he calls out, he doesn't mean to do that, he just really wanted to say your name, is that such a crime? he doesn't think it is.

when you finally come into his like of vision, chenle lets out a sigh of relief, the pit in his stomach will hopefully go away now. for some reason, he feels much more safe with you here. "oh god you scared me ch— your highness".

ah, it's still the same, despite your long friendship, you still don't usually address chenle by his name. you always say it's because you have to "respect his title", but chenle doesn't really like it. he likes it more when you call him by his first name, even if it is disrespectful for a commoner to do such a thing.

chenle never cares when it's with you.

"you scared me" chenle emphasizes, taking in a deep breath. "my apologies".

"it's fine, uh.. why are you awake exactly?" you ask, though chenle wanted to ask you that, it seems you beat him to it. how funny. "if you don't mind me asking of course".

of course, all you ever really do is look after people, you take after your mother, it's evident to chenle that being a medic was your calling. "oh i can't sleep, i'm heading to the library to get a book that'll hopefully tire me".

you chuckle at the words, your laughter is pretty, chenle notes. "of course, you're always in that library, seems you spend most of your time reading" chenle laughs at your tone of voice, your teasing him, you talk like how your mother used to talk about him when you were children.

"reading is..fun".

those words seem to confuse you, and you blink, lightly tilting your head to the side. "i have never heard someone describe reading as fun, but i guess it makes sense for you".

chenle wants to ask about the meaning of those words, because they seem to have so many layers, but you begin again before he can even try to ask. "i heard about your new marriage" there's a certain distaste in your voice chenle can't exactly pinpoint. "congratulations".

chenle allows for himself to frown, his stomach curling in an uncomfortable way at just the thought of his new marriage. he doesn't want to talk about it, because it's just going to make him upset. "oh yeah it's quiet.. exciting news".

you pick up on his tone of disgust, his gritted teeth, and the way his eyes quickly cast around the room, but you stay silent. "anyway, i should be heading to the library, find a nice book, have any recommendations?"

you blink at the sudden question, scouring your mind for books you think the crown prince might be charmed by. "frenchman's creek by daphne du maurier".

chenle raises an eyebrow. "that's in the library?"

"yeah i uh— i read it a couple weeks ago, it was amazing" you mutter, trying to keep eye contact with the prince who was clearly trying to not look you in the eye. "i think you'll like it, i mean— i hope you do".

chenle hums, noting down your recommendation in his mind. "i'll make sure to read it then, thank you y/n, good night".

your eyes widen as you realize that it is indeed the middle of the night, and your conversation has to end eventually. "right right, it's no problem, good night your highness".

chenle frowns again at the sound of his title escaping your lips, but he doesn't say anything, just gives you a small smile and walks past you and towards the library.

he doesn't see you watch him walk away, he's much too busy thinking about how much he wants you to say his name.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU LOOK TIRED" THE WORRYING tone in his fiancée's voice doesn't breeze past chenle, but he pays it no mind, ignoring the question. yinuo blinks, clearly expecting the silence, chenle's mother did say he's prone to giving people the "cold shoulder". she sighs, reaching out to touch his shoulder but immediately pulling back, he probably wouldn't like that. "chenle.."

"i'm fine" chenle replies faster than he intends, he brushes off any dust that might be on his shoulder and rubs his right eye. "i just lost a few hours of sleep that's all" he states rather unconvincingly, but yinuo doesn't comment more, just sighs again.

chenle holds out his arm, which the princess quickly links with hers, an indescribable emotion in his eyes. "let's just get this over with.." he shakes his head, feeling a hand of support from his future wife run up and down his back. "the faster we get through with this the faster we both get out of here".

yinuo is happy to know chenle doesn't despise her, he's just not comfortable with her, and chenle, he really is trying his best, he might be coming off as rude, but he just isn't on board with this whole thing. "they're all so extra, making us do this.."

"right, the least they could do is make us enter at different times but no, we have to do this walk in together like were walking down the aisle".

chenle glances down at their linked arms, letting a sigh escape his lips as the two of them finally exit the room they had been put into together. starting their way off to the meeting room down the hall, chenle allows for his mind to wander, he can't be focused on his fiancée or upcoming marriage, he's much too focused on other things.

you, namely.

the crown prince can't focus on what's going on when the only thing prominent in his mind is you. yeah your exchange last night was a short one, but it was also a memorable one. after weeks of going back and forth with things that just didn't make sense, and a mind that was in a frenzy, just talking to you in the middle of the night was enough to relax chenle.

you two haven't been able to talk in the past few weeks.. evidently, chenle is a prince to be king who has to focus on ruling a kingdom and your a medic who has to focus on taking care of others. you two have no time to be friends now that you're adults, it doesn't help that chenle now has all this added pressure on him, and you clearly feel like he's become a stranger.

chenle guesses the.. power imbalance is what's driving this. he's apart of the royal family, a crown prince, set to take the crown and become king, your a commoner, someone who lives just above the poverty line, the only reason you're able to stay afloat is because you took up your mothers position as the palace's medic, but even then, you can almost barely take care of her.

chenle hates thinking about it, because the two of you used to be so close, an unbreakable pair, two boys who couldn't be separated even with the differences between you two. your ranks in society never bothered you, never disturbed your friendship, never disturbed you as a pair, it never mattered. he often finds himself reminiscing on those times, the times where he could see you without his mind listing everything he had to do after that.

"chenle? are you listening?"

chenle blinks out of his daze, arm still linked with yinuo's as he gazes at his future father in law. he pretends to not see the look of worry the woman on his arm sends him, clearing his throat. "yeah, my apologies".

"uh huh, my regards to you, i know the sudden.. passing of the king was hard on you, and we hope your grieving well".

so your throwing your daughter at me, how great. chenle laughs in his mind, tongue poking through his inner cheek, he already knew he wasn't going to like where this was going. "now, about the marriage—"

chenle tunes him out easily, letting out a silent sigh which his mother hears, sending him a glare from across the room as the breath escapes his lips. he doesn't pay any mind to the look from his mother, though he knows she's quickly getting annoyed with how he isn't paying attention.

the discussion is exactly how chenle thought it'd be, the parents discuss everything and just assume their children agree from the get go, they don't even bother asking them their thoughts, or even how they felt, they just threw them into this like they were some baby making machines.

chenle guesses it's just how the cycle goes, his parents had to go through this, and so did their parents before them, and their parents before them, and so on. this is how things work, chenle can't run away from his fate, even with how much he opposes this arrangement.

"and for children.." just the mention of children is enough to make both chenle and yinuo tense, but they both play it off as the cold of the room making them flinch. "you can decide how many you want, but more than one would be nice, and especially a son would be nice".

of course, chenle sings in his head. he wonders how much they'll have to drill that into their heads, some stupid importance men have or something. he glances at his fiancée, whose trembling in her place beside him. he places a gentle hand on her back. "it's alright, calm down" he whispers enough so that she can hear it over the chatter of her father and mother.

"this is not fun".

"yeah, tell me about it" the crown prince grits his teeth, his comment eliciting a small laugh out of the woman beside him. he has to admit, he does enjoy her company.

"ah, i see you two are getting along!"

upon hearing the remark, the two pause, an awkward silence spreading between them. they exchange a small glance before chenle clears his throat, speaking up. "yeah um.. this was a nice meeting, we can continue chatting about the marriage another time, we thank you for coming, the guards will escort you out".

though chenle smiles at his future in laws, he feels nothing but nauseous the whole time.

"WHERE ARE YOU HEADING, YOUR HIGHNESS?" THE QUESTION from kun isn't enough to make chenle stop in his tracks, and he continues his way down the hall. kun blinks as the younger ignores him, furrowing his eyebrows. he then lets out a sigh, letting his hands drop as his eyes stay pointed at the crown prince. "chenle? where are you going?" chenle still doesn't stop, but he seems to acknowledge the older this time.

"to the rose garden" he responds quickly, only getting another eyebrow furrow from the older. he finally stops, turning towards the other with a look that kun cannot exactly pinpoint at the current moment. "if you need me, i'll be there".

"is something wrong?"

chenle takes in a breath, gritting his teeth. curse qian kun for being so caring, curse him for always knowing when something's up. he's quick to shake his head, mustering the fakest of fake smiles. "nothing's wrong! i just need fresh air!"

kun blinks, totally not buying that horrible lie, but he doesn't say anything about it, just mutters a small "okay" and lets chenle be on his way. chenle didn't mean to lie to kun, he just doesn't know how to explain his feelings at the current moment.

so, he gives the older a small smile, turning on his heel and making a beeline towards the titular rose garden, the one that's given him so much comfort over these past few years. he doesn't know why just the presence of everyone in that room was enough to make him want to throw up, but his anxieties wouldn't settle, he can't bear to stay inside this castle much longer.

chenle has no idea why the feeling of suffocation is constantly overtaking him these days, but the walls are slowly pushing in on him, leaving him breathless and nothing more than a weak human vessel.

when chenle does finally step outside, met by a plethora of roses and the smell of pollen in the air, the pit in his stomach doesn't settle. instead of letting out a sigh of relief, he pauses in his tracks, allowing for his eyes to roam the area he'd grown to love as a child.

chenle sighs, not of relief, but sighs with another indescribable feeling he can't explain, walking up to a display of white roses. he knows they're sharp, your old warnings flash in his head as he stares at the pretty flowers before him, tracing them with his fingers as he's always done when in the rose garden.

"don't hurt yourself again, your highness".

it's when chenle hears you that he immediately jumps, but then he relaxes, slowly. what were the odds of this happening again? you seem to read his mind, because you chuckle at the expression which graces his features. chenle raises an eyebrow, a humored smile coming to his face. "you sure you actually have bandaids this time?"

the reference makes you snicker, looking down at the floor as you turn away from your childhood friend. you rummage through your pocket, finally pulling out a bandaid, one which wasn't present when you were seven and yelling for chenle to not touch the roses. "there you go, now you won't cut your finger".

for once today, chenle suddenly feels relaxed, it's always with you, isn't it? his mind notes that down, he'll remember it for later. he takes the bandaid from you, a smile coming to his face as the nostalgia settles on him. "thank you, you're always looking after everyone, you sure know how to do your job".

the words make you pause, but you don't look at chenle as you think of a response, instead turning to the white roses displayed in front of you. you lightly poke them, letting out a small hum of affirmation. "well, what kind of medic would i be if i didn't look out for others? i'd be an idiot to ever let our highness get hurt".

chenle's lips turn up, and he laughs in just the slightest, but he isn't sure why he laughs. there's just something about you that makes chenle feel at ease, you calm his worries without even having to do anything, it's not like he's even telling you about these worries either, but the anxiety he once felt seems to be nothing now.

spending time with you calms chenle, he wants to preserve as much of this time as possible.

"i started reading your recommendation" chenle suddenly blurts out, wanting to continue a conversation with you. he doesn't know how limited your time will be. "frenchman's creek.. i like it so far, it's an interesting choice, though".

you raise an eyebrow. "why's that?"

"i didn't peg you for an enjoyer of pirate romances" chenle shrugs, and he quickly looks away, not wanting to stare at you for too long, because he doesn't think he'd be able to look away.

"well i don't like limiting my interests to one genre, you'd know about that".

chenle blinks, the words striking him in a way only the words you say can. how do you always manage to do that? it's not really the words, it's just how you say them, even if you don't make your intentions clear, chenle always knows what you mean. "it always manages to surprise me, i'm not sure what's gonna happen next".

you click your tongue, a small smile coming to your face. "just so you know, it doesn't have a happy ending".

chenle gasps, overdramatizing the volume of his voice. "you're giving me spoilers? in the rose garden?" his words make you snicker, and you pick a white rose from the bush, unfazed by the thorns which slowly sink into your fingers.

"i didn't spoil anything specific" you finally turn back to chenle, twirling the rose between your fingers. "just told how it was gonna end up.." you mutter, stepping closer to chenle unconsciously. you look at up, suddenly anxious as ever. "may i?" you ask, motioning towards the rose with your eyes.

chenle blinks, his mind going blank for a few seconds. what do you want to do exactly? he gazes at your hands fidgeting on the stem of the flower, and the pieces slowly put themselves together in his brain. are you going to..? "i— yes, sure.."

you raise an eyebrow, not really trusting the seemingly hesitant consent chenle had given, but he clears his throat, reiterating it for you; "yes, you can".

upon hearing the answer, you step closer once again, placing the rose into his hair, your careful to not hurt chenle, and especially careful because you don't want the stem to get tangled in chenle's hair. "i.. i thought it'd look nice on you, and it does, you look— you look great".

chenle blinks, a sudden red hue coloring his cheeks. it's such a basic compliment, one he's been given many times by other people, but it feels different coming from you.

it's always different when it's with you.

chenle clears his throat, unable to prevent a smile from crossing his face. you don't look at him anymore, looking away to prevent yourself from burning up, but you allow for a smile to come to your face as you think about the action you just performed.

you have no idea why you're so giddy about this.

"oh um.." chenle pauses, laughing awkwardly. "thank you, that's very sweet".

"oh it's no problem i just— i uh, it compliments your hair".

chenle hums, looking down at the floor. he hopes you don't see his face burning, and you hope he doesn't see your face burning, it's such a hilarious thing, but you both are much too flustered to find your current circumstances amusing. "you have an eye for those things too?"

"well i have an eye for many things".

i can see that, chenle doesn't say that, though, just smiles at you. you only give him a mere glance, and a small smile yourself. "it was nice seeing you, ch— your highness" you notice how your correction makes chenle frown, but you continue. "i'll be off now, have a good day".

chenle only frowns again when he realizes your time together is over, he wants to continue the conversation, wants to try to use an excuse, wants to use his power to order you to stay, but he doesn't give into the desires he wants so badly, just nods. "oh uh, don't let me keep you here".

you chuckle. "i wouldn't really mind if you did".

the words have an unspoken affect on chenle, an affect that he can't exactly explain, but he can feel. he can feel it in the way his ears heat up and his stomach flips. "alright then, bye y/n".

"bye".

and as chenle watches you leave, the feeling of anxiety he'd entered the garden with seemed to wither away, dissolving away like it was nothing.

he thinks about your 'bye' for hours, unable to get the sound of your voice out of his bed.

"HOW HAVE YOU BEEN THESE DAYS?" CHENLE doesn't answer immediately, as always these days. he skims the row of books before him, fidgeting with the one in his hands. he's not ignoring his friend, he's just focused on other things. "fine" he responds, grunting as he lightly struggles to pull the book from the shelf, but he doesn't ask for help. he doesn't need help. "what's with that look?"

park jisung blinks at his longtime friend, raising a suspicious eyebrow at him. "you don't look fine".

chenle scoffs, suddenly feeling super defensive. he doesn't look at jisung anymore, the other is going to begin to annoy him if he keeps staring at him. "what do you know about looking fine?"

he hears jisung's sigh of defeat. "well i'm just concerned for you, we haven't talked in a while, you've been so busy preparing for your coronation and.. marriage".

chenle resists the urge to roll his eyes. "my coronation isn't for another three months, preparations have all been lackluster".

"and the marriage?"

chenle snaps his head towards jisung, giving him an indescribable look. jisung is quick to shut his mouth, not wanting to face chenle's terrifying wrath. the older prince glares dangerously at the younger, who chuckles awkwardly and scratches his hand. he doesn't have to say anything, but jisung knows he should probably change the subject.

"uh.. um, are you still friends with that medic kid?"

now that is a question chenle wasn't expecting. a question about you? when he snaps his head over at jisung for the second time, the younger almost freezes, noticing the pointed look in his eyes. "what?"

"y/n, the medic kid!" jisung reiterates, clearly thinking the issue is that chenle didn't hear him the first time. "his mom used to work here, right? is he still around?"

chenle narrows his eyes, puzzled at where jisung is trying to go with this.. question. he'd been dealt with a fair amount of teasing from his friend because of how much closer the two of you seemed, jisung often questioned how much of a "friend" you really were to chenle, but the older would always combat it with a glare and snappy insult as a response.

"yes he's still around.. he took over mrs. l/n's position".

jisung blinks dumbly. "oh? what happened to her?"

just the question is enough to put a sour taste in chenle's mouth. "she just couldn't go on any longer one day, she retired a few years ago and he took over her position".

"you don't know what happened to her?"

"y/n didn't tell me anything specific" chenle is beginning to get annoyed. he knows it's in jisung's nature to be curious like this but god, if he wanted to know these things so bad he could've just asked you. "just go ask him if you're so curious".

he hears a small "hmph" sound from jisung before the younger prince sounds again. "i will then! y/n! hey!"

chenle didn't actually think you'd be passing by the library at that exact moment, but you were. you pause, backtracking as you look into the library, blinking at the jumping prince before you. "uh— hi, your highness, what do you need me for?"

jisung is quick to chuckle, waving off your use of formalities. "please, there's no need to be so formal, were friends after all!"

you only respond with a small smile, giving chenle a mere glance. "i'm just doing what i'm supposed to, i can't call you by your name.."

"well right now, you're going to call me by my name" jisung demands, which makes you snicker. he really hasn't changed. you look down at the floor, hands picking at your nails. "your allowed to, right chenle?"

chenle was not expecting to be included in this conversation. is jisung reading his mind or something? how could he seem to tell exactly what chenle wanted to say? he feels his face heat up, but he isn't exactly sure why it does that. "i mean— yeah, yes, were friends".

jisung then turns back to you, a clear 'see?' expression on his face as he smiles in victory at chenle proving him right. you chuckle at chenle's response, smiling again, but it's much more directed at chenle this time. "fine then, jisung, what do you need me for?"

jisung then walks towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder (a hand chenle is suddenly laser focused on) almost as if to reassure you. "how have you been?"

your eyebrows furrow. it's not a weird question to ask, you just weren't expecting for him to ask a question. you share another confused glance with chenle, then snickering lightly. "fine.. i uh— i've just been trying my best, as always".

jisung hums, his finger going up to caress your cheek lightly, a finger which chenle again laser focuses on, he can't help but narrow his eyes at jisung, wondering what the hell is he doing?

"uh huh, and how's your mother?"

at the mere mention of your mother, you seem to go still, pausing as you let jisung's question simmer into the air. you try your best to collect your words, opening your mouth to speak, but then you close it, as if wanting to keep your thoughts to yourself.

chenle picks up on your sudden silence, as if he could feel your heightened anxieties, he speaks up; "are you alright, y/n?" he asks, concern lacing his tone as he sees the worry in your eyes as you think about your mother.

you snap out of your little daze, clearing your throat as you nod. "yeah yeah, i uh— i'm fine, mom is.. she's doing okay".

"okay?"

"she's sick" you blurt quickly, fingers fidgeting at shirt collar. "but she's doing much better now, i'm taking care of her and everything.." you look away from the two royals, scratching your cheek out of habit.

"oh, oh my god i didn't know she was sick" jisung realizes how awkward he made the situation. "um, i wish her the best".

chenle doesn't say anything, he sees the way you glance around the room, desperately trying to think about everything else. "yeah, tell her i said hi" he states immediately, and you finally stop looking around the room to look at chenle, he notices that look in your eyes, the one where it seems like your about to cry, but you're holding in your tears.

even with all that, you smile at chenle, as if his words had healed you in some way. "i'll make sure to do that, i uh.. i have to go now, i don't want for anyone to die while i stand here".

jisung's eyes widen, and he gasps. "right! go go, you have a job to do, sorry for holding you up" you dismiss his words with a wave, jisung is still so cute, as cute as he was when you were children.

"it's fine really, you actually kind of made my day".

"well i'm happy that i could!"

you smile again at jisung, then smile lightly at chenle, who almost wants to jump towards you and trap you in a tight hug. "thank you, your hi— jisung" you quickly correct yourself, clearing your throat. "i'll see you some other time, and you chenle, i'll see you later".

chenle allows for himself to go red at the words, what do you mean by later? he tries his best to register the words, and the fact that you just called him by his name after what seems like forever, but he doesn't say anything, even though he feels jisung's gaze burning holes into his head. "later? yeah, later".

chenle has no idea why he agreed.

it's you, that's why he agreed.

WHEN CHENLE FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS AGAIN that very night, he doesn't even think before raising out of his bed and deciding he was going to go to the library. he stares at the copy of frenchman's creek on his desk, mind immediately flashing with thoughts of you. he feels the structure of the book cover with his finger, blinking as he weighs his options for a moment. he could go back to sleep, but he could also go to the library and entertain himself with more literature.

"i already got up anyway.." chenle mutters to himself, grabbing the book on his desk and the situated lamp on his desk. he doesn't mind the chills which course through his body, though it's cold, the cold is no longer a bother to him, he's much too busy thinking about books (and you) anyway..

when chenle leaves his room, he notices the halls aren't as dark as they were the other time he walked them when he went to the library the other night. he blinks into the halls, the air practically pushing against him the moment he leaves his room. chenle allows for himself to let out a weary breath, no one is around to watch him be vulnerable anyway.

as he steps out of his room, the floor of the old structure creaking under his feet, he feels a breeze of cold air rush past him, but for some unknown reason, he doesn't shiver.

chenle doesn't allow for himself to stand by and simply breath any longer, so, he takes himself down the hallway, his feet leading him to his familiar place of solace (well second most at least). he notices how the hallway seems to be more lit, he could see torches as he passed through the long corridors, eyes trained on the paintings which situated themselves on the walls.

there have always been paintings decorating the walls, paintings which dictate the many generations of the zhong family. chenle watched as a kid as an artist was appointed to paint him, father, and mother, a new painting to place on the timeline of the zhong dynasty which would extend across the entire palace.

as chenle spends more time thinking about it, it dawns on him, he's going to be displayed on the wall in a painting one day as the king. one day he's going to have to sit down with yinuo and their inevitable child as an artist uses several colors on a canvas to create a painting of the next zhong generation, and his eventual child is going to have to walk past it every time they make it through this expanse of a hallway.

chenle used to enjoy staring at the paintings, used to love watching the process of paintings being created, but now, with father gone, chenle can't bring himself to glance at the painting situated on the wall without feeling nauseous. every time he tries to look at it, a silent breath has to escape his lips, or else he feels like he's going to collapse onto the floor.

he developed a habit of speed walking past the final portrait in the hallway after fathers passing, he could never look at his face again after having to watch the life slowly fade away from his eyes. he can't even look at a photograph of his father anymore without wanting to throw up everywhere.

when chenle makes it to the library, having walked very fast past the last painting in the hallway, he pushes open the doors immediately, wanting so badly to escape the suffocating hallway.

when chenle does make it into the room, he's quick to close the door behind him, but he startles when he notices that someone else is in the room. he blinks and narrows his eyes at the figure in the room, then, he relaxes as he quickly realizes who it is.

it's you.

chenle feels himself calm in just the slightest upon knowing it's you in the room and not some other staff member. it's not that chenle has anything against the other staff, it's just.. it's different with you.

how many times does his mind have to conjure that up as an excuse?

chenle ignores the reprimanding voice, it's one he vaguely recognizes, it's not his voice, it's a distant voice that he thinks he could recognize if he focused hard enough.

but he can't, because you notice him, seemingly reading his thoughts as you turn back to make eye contact with the crown prince. "hi".

"hi" chenle replies easily, it's awkward, of course it's awkward, it's the middle of the night. his eyes dart away from yours, immediately scouring the library. you allow for yourself to snicker at his lack of attention on you, and he notices, now staring dead at you. "what?"

"nothing nothing" you mutter, dismissing it with a wave of your hand. chenle wants to ask about it, but he doesn't, just looks down at the floor. "how was it?"

"huh?"

"the book" you clarify, glancing down at the copy of frenchman's creek chenle has in his hands. chenle quickly feels his face heat up, of course you were referring to the book, what else would you be talking about? the air in the room? his walk down the halls? how he's doing? you patiently wait for his answer, flipping through a book in your hands as you let out a sigh.

"oh uh— it's a surprise, that's for sure, i didn't expect to enjoy it as much as i did, i didn't enjoy the ending, though".

you raise an eyebrow, but a smile comes to your face. "why not?"

chenle finally unfreezes and steps closer to you, the book tucked in his arms as he stands beside you, your shoulders lightly brushing against each other. your eyes finally gaze over at his, and when the two of you make eye contact, it's brief. chenle blinks, and he allows for his lips to turn up, he thinks you look very pretty in this moment, the lighting of the library emphasizing your features.

beautiful, he's beautiful, chenle, a voice sings in his head, a voice which is, again, familiar, but he can't exactly determine who it is.

"i wanted dona and jean to get their happy ending, i was rooting for them".

you hum, seemingly expecting that answer, your eyes shift towards the shelf before you, focused on the books which litter it. "well, i like to think it's realistic, it's not often that people get their happy endings, even if they do deserve it".

chenle takes in your words, it seems like such a you thing to say. "i would've preferred if they did have a happy ending, though, it's why i read fiction in the first place".

"you read fiction because..?"

"it's like an escape from reality".

the words make you pause, and for a second, chenle thinks he must've said something wrong, he can't read the look on your face. he blinks up at you, your silence taking him off guard. "i mean, i guess that makes sense".

you seem to want to say something else, you seem to have a lot of thoughts on your mind, but you don't disclose any of them, just smile. "so, did you like the book?..your highness".

you hesitated before saying it, and chenle knows you wanted to say his name, but you stopped yourself, as always. he feels his gut curl in an uncomfortable way, and he clears his throat.

"y/n?"

"yes?"

chenle takes a deep breath. "were friends" he states immediately, and he notices the way you begin to avoid his eyes, looking everywhere but at him. "were friends, we've known each other since we were seven, you can call me by my name".

the truthful statement makes you pause, and you begin to scour your mind for excuses. "i can't call you by your name, your a noble and i'm a—"

"that's an order".

your mouth closes immediately, you can't argue with that, you can't really argue with anything chenle says. chenle seems pleased by his victory, a small smile showing on his face. you quickly scoff, turning your head away from your childhood friend. "of course you can just do that".

"i just.. it doesn't matter if you work here, your my friend, you can call me by my name".

"alright then, your— chenle, did you like the book?"

chenle chuckles lightly, oh he loves the way you say his name. he remembers when you were younger, you'd always pronounce his name wrong, it frustrated you so much that you would just call him 'le' instead of his full name.

"i did, it was an enjoyable book, the plot made me crave more, i just.. i can't believe it ended like that".

"your still mad about it?"

"yes i'm mad about it! i need my happy ending for my pirate love story!"

you giggle at his words, you giggle, chenle can't believe it. he just made you giggle, in the dead of night, in the palace library, he made you giggle. you take the book away from his hands, placing it back between the other books in the romance section. "sadly, most love stories don't end that way".

chenle sighs, clicking his tongue. "i hate when that happens, i'd like to have just a little hope that true love actually works in the end.."

you chuckle again, shaking your head. "i never thought you'd be a fan of happy endings and stuff like that".

chenle raises an eyebrow, puzzled by the words. "why's that?" he asks, sounding just the slightest bit offended at the statement. you blink, and he guesses that you notice his tone of offense. you find it humorous, and chenle furrows his eyebrows this time.

"i don't know, i guess you struck me as the kind of person who'd enjoy bittersweet endings, you know, you seem to enjoy tragic love stories".

"i do enjoy tragic love stories" chenle makes sure to emphasize his point, and he quickly looks away from you. "but i also like when they have good endings, sometimes, love stories need their happy endings".

"that's cute" you comment, and chenle allows for a smile to come to his face. you didn't call him cute, per se, but it's still enough to make his cheeks go red. he should not be flustered, that's ridiculous, that's— he can't be flustered.

you don't mind his silence, instead walking over to another shelf to see what other books are there. chenle pokes his tongue against his inner cheek, watching you intently. the red dusting his cheeks doesn't go away, it just seems to amplify as you have your back towards him. "it's cute?"

"yeah, i can see where you're coming from, not all love stories need to be.. realistic, if it makes you feel better when the lovers have a happy ending, than who am i to judge?"

chenle rocks back and forth on his heels, letting out a small hum at your words. "so you're the kind of guy who enjoys tragic love stories with horrible endings?"

"on most occasions, yes".

you seem to finally find a book that you'll enjoy, because you pick one from the shelf and turn back to chenle. "so how are you feeling?"

"what?"

you merely glance at chenle, than glance back down at the book in your hands and read the synopsis on the back of it. "how are you feeling these days? you have a lot of new things being stacked on you now, you must be stressed out".

chenle allows for his jaw to drop in just the slightest, it's not like people don't ask him about how he feels, it's that he can't believe you noticed the mini battle he was having with himself. he can't believe you would even be concerned about how he was feeling, he felt like most people wouldn't care about what he was going through anyway.

"oh it's.." chenle pauses, truly not being able to actual formulate coherent words. "well it's a lot, but nothing i haven't been taught how to handle by father".

your face forms into an unreadable expression, one chenle hates because he doesn't exactly know what kind of expression it is. "they prepare you for things like this?"

"well.. mostly, but even with all the excessive lessons, it all kinds of goes to my head and makes my head spin, sometimes it feels like the palace is suffocating me, taking the air out of my lungs and leaving me helpless, sometimes— i don't know, i feel like i'm being swallowed by some horrible force which just wants to make me suffer, i'm not sure why i feel like this really but—"

chenle stops, clearing his throat as he quickly averts his gaze from yours. he has no idea where that vomit of words came from, but he feels if he continues talking, he's going to say something that he'll regret. you don't answer immediately, so chenle decides to speak up once again. "i'm sorry, i have no idea where that came from it's just.. i don't know, pretend i didn't say anything".

"don't apologize, it's good to talk about things like that once in a while, bottling everything up will just overwhelm you even more".

"it's just, i don't talk to people about things like this".

"why not?"

chenle shrugs, not really sure how to answer that question. "i feel they're sort of..unnecessary, i know i can't control how i feel but my feelings have never really felt important in most situations".

"they're important to me".

the words make chenle pause, his ears reddening and a sputter in his voice as he tries his best to respond to that statement. the words are so simple, but they have such a lasting effect on the crown prince that he can't really respond to them. you care, you care, he cares! that one inner voice screams in his head. he feels his heart begin beating sporadically, it's.. god he's so grateful for you. "oh.. uh, really?"

you smile, chuckling softly. "yeah they are, you shouldn't ever feel like they aren't".

chenle feels his stomach flip, you're so sweet. "i.. thank you, y/n".

chenle hopes you don't notice his red face as you spend the rest of the night conversing about several kinds of literature.

"ARE YOU NERVOUS?" CHENLE MAKES THE MISTAKE OF taking a weary breath when that question is asked. he hears the chuckle of amusement sound from his fiancée's lips, and he allows for a small smile to show on his face. "no" he responds, clearly lying, but yinuo doesn't seem to catch it, as he begins to pick at the fabric of her dress. he turns to her, noticing the clear anxiety she displays.

"i am" she responds, putting on her gloves and rubbing a scar on her knuckles. "i've never really been a big fan of.. crowds" she states, her tone exhibiting disgust as she says the word 'crowds'. chenle has been able to pick up on her habits pretty easily, he has spent much more time with her these days after all.

chenle hums at the response, he gets it, even as he grew up having to get used to these kinds of events, it never got easier. the pit in his stomach would often never cease, that nauseating feeling only heightened, and he could just barely mask the anxious expression on his face. "i get that, they're all too loud".

"i mean, do they really care about us that much? they can't just wait until the wedding.."

the sentence makes chenle snicker as he notices the mere irritation in her tone. "they all just want something to do, i guess" he mutters, pulling his sleeve over his wrist and repeating a reassuring mantra in his head.

it's nothing you haven't done before, chenle, just get it over with, and you'll be fine. chenle thinks if he focuses enough, he can hear his father's voice repeating the mantra to him in his head.

he caresses his wrist lightly, settling in the air of the room. he can hear the faint sound of people cheering outside, and just the sound is enough to make his stomach begin flipping, the anxiety is already heightening. "all that just to see us?"

"they want to see how in love we can look".

"seems unnecessary".

"it is unnecessary".

chenle laughs again, finally walking over to his fiancée and linking their arms together. he sighs, looking down at the floor. "you sure you're not nervous?" she asks once again, raising a curious eyebrow as she notices chenle's change in behavior.

"okay maybe i am a little nervous but that's besides the point".

yinuo laughs, humored by chenle's blatant honesty. he simply gives a small smile, turning to the door of the room and letting out another small breath. they have to face a crowd, a crowd of people who are here to see them and celebrate their totally real love, a crowd who are there to watch as they are confirmed future husband and wife, they're going to get married and have children that go on to take the throne, they have to look in love, they have to.. act in love.

chenle doesn't know how in love he can look, he might get too overwhelmed and throw up right then and there. just the idea of having to do all of this is enough to make him want to cry, and he never thought he'd ever think that, because he doesn't cry, he shouldn't cry, father taught him that enough through ear shattering yells and broken glass.

he hates feeling vulnerable, but in a moment like this, having to mask his feelings in front of a crowd of people who don't know any better, who probably don't care, vulnerability is his one true feeling.

he closes his eyes, taking another deep breath as he tries his best to ignore the anxiety settling upon him.

"chenle!"

chenle snaps out his anxious daze at the shout of his name, recognizing the voice as kun, who he remembers he forgot to greet this morning, as he was in a rush.

but it's not just kun, it's also you, and chenle almost falls to the floor and dies right then and there. kun has his fingers wrapped around your wrist, there's a smile on his face (and yours, chenle thinks your smile is so so pretty). "oh, hi kun, y/n".

look at both of them, chenle, not just y/n.

but for once, chenle doesn't listen to the reprimanding voice in his head.

he doesn't even check how in love with you he must look, just a few seconds ago he was freaking out over how he was supposed to look in love with the woman beside him, but he has no problem looking in love with you.

but he doesn't exactly realize that, too busy admiring you clear as day.

"i— we just wanted to wish you good luck" kun nudges you lightly, and you let out a small laugh as you look away nervously, a red hue tinting your cheeks as you avoid chenle's eyes. "both of you, your highness" he adds, bowing lightly at yinuo and nudging you so you can do the same.

yinuo just smiles, lightly laughing, but chenle is stuck in place, mesmerized by you and.. just you. "thank you, i have to say, everyone here is insanely sweet, i feel welcome".

"well that's my job, i can't have any future queens feeling uncomfortable".

the statement from kun makes you snort, and you shove him in the shoulder. you look away from him to glance at chenle, who is still lost in his mind, you furrow your eyebrows as you watch the cogs in his brains turn, what is he thinking so hard about?

"chenle" you call out.

seemingly snapping out of the trip inside of his mind, chenle looks up at you, hoping it isn't obvious that he's affected by your soft calling of his name. "good luck" you reiterate, a small whisper seemingly shared between only the two of you.

chenle feels his face heat up immediately, eyes widening at the sight of your pretty smile. "thank you, both of you, thank you".

chenle doesn't look over at yinuo when she gives him a weird look.

"right! again, good luck! y/n and i have to go do something right y/n?"

you seem to be puzzled by that comment, chenle determines that by the way your eyebrows furrow. "what? but i thought we were supposed to—"

"alright! good luck you two come on y/n let's go!" kun gives a quick smile and grabs your wrist again to drag you away from the newly engaged couple, who watch as you two make your way down the hall towards another part of the palace.

"weird.." chenle mutters.

"so what was that?" yinuo is quick to ask, making chenle snap his head towards her, clearly not expecting for her to ask him a question.

"what was what?"

"that, chenle" she reiterates, alluding to the little (not so little) lovesick gaze chenle had trained on you for that whole interaction. it's clear that, even with how chenle didn't check the adoration he was staring at you with, she definitely did. "you looked so smitten".

chenle allows for his expression to form into one of shock, what does she mean by that? what the fuck does she mean by that? that makes no sense, it's not like he's in love with you or anything, that would be absurd! that would be—

that wouldn't be entirely out of the picture, think about yourself chenle, the most shocking thing here would be you having no romantic feelings for him.

chenle is about to punch himself in the face for having such thoughts.

"i have no idea what your talking about".

"chenle, i know i don't know you personally like that, but i have never seen you look at someone like you look at him! what is his name? y/n? he has to have you under a spell or something, you were mesmerized".

chenle wants to say that those words are stupid, he wants to spit out some quick rebuttal and have them be on their way, but he can't muster up a coherent excuse for what she just described. how is he supposed to argue with that?

"well, y/n does know how to keep people on the hook".

"seems you enjoy being kept on the hook".

the statement makes chenle pause, and he feels his face burn once again, not at the words, but just at the thought of you, god he misses your presence already, is that weird to say? he's glad he doesn't say it out loud.

"it doesn't matter anyway, what am i supposed to do? tell him about it? not with how everything is turning out.. were getting married in a few months".

"but you're not in love with me" yinuo replies, she's sure of her words, she just knows, chenle almost feels like she's reading his mind. "you want him".

"i can't have him" chenle states as if it's a matter of fact, and it's true, he can't have you. it makes his heart hurt, the idea that even with how much he feels for you, how different it is with you, and how he's had these indescribable feelings for you since he was like eleven, he can't have you.

chenle can't run from his fate, the last thing he wants to do is break the rules, challenge a system that's been in place for pretty much decades at this point.

"you're not going to break the rules for true love?"

chenle just lets a disappointed sigh escape his lips, his stomach flips uncomfortably and he feels his head begin spinning, this topic makes him want to die in the worst way possible. "true love doesn't exist" he states rather harshly. god, he sounds like father, if seven year old chenle heard himself now, he'd grimace at the words and scowl at his new nature.

his heart aches as he utters those words, he can't help but think about you as he says those words.

good god, he feels so helpless.

"MOTHER, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?" NINE YEAR OLD CHENLE liked to ask questions. chenle has always liked to ask questions, being curious is in his nature, it's just that unlike jisung, he's less annoying about it. when this question popped into his nine year old brain, he knew there was no way he could ever ask father about it, he'd never be able to come back from it. mother has always been much more understanding, even with the stubborn statements she often spouted.

"yes you can, chenle".

"are.. well, can a noble and a commoner ever end up together?"

the question received silence from his mother, who, though she had previously been humming to a pleasant tune, seemed to freeze at even the idea of that question. the nine year old prince watched as his mother's face did at least seven expression changes in a matter of seconds. "could you elaborate on that question, dear?"

"can royalty marry non-royalty? could i ever be with someone who isn't royal like me?"

the reason nine year old chenle was so interested in asking this question was because of something kun had mentioned to him, about one of his cousins marrying into a royal family far far away. it got his mind turning in ways only a child's mind can, he never knew that could happen, he had grown to think that he would just end up with any other princess but could he really have a different fate? could he really change his future?

seeing as how things have gone now.. no, he couldn't.

"it depends on how it goes down, chenle".

"has it ever happened before?"

"of course it has happened" his mother finally answered, and the curious young prince allowed for his eyes to widen comically. oh he was so interested now. "in most scenarios when it does happen the commoner becomes a royal".

"i thought that was outlawed".

that statement got a laugh out of his mother, which made the nine year old blink dumbly. "it can't be outlawed, chenle, that would be ridiculous".

"so could i be with someone of a different class?"

"well, it depends on how it all works out".

chenle blinked again, the wording of the sentence confusing the young prince even more. "would father ever approve of something like that?"

she then went silent again, turning away from chenle to gaze at the bright blue sky. "i'm.. not sure, you know how unpredictable he is".

"well that's why i didn't ask him this".

another chuckle sounded from his mother, and at nine years old, chenle didn't know what was more shocking, knowing that he could possibly not have to be forced into a marriage with a princess from a faraway kingdom, or knowing that his mother didn't really have an issue with that.

too bad he didn't try to use any of that childlike courage to get his point about this marriage across.

when the little parade celebrating his marriage is over, chenle finds himself immediately on his way somewhere. he doesn't know exactly where he was going, his feet seem to have control over themselves, and he can't exactly stop himself from walking.

oh, he knows where he's going.

his feet lead him to a familiar place, your office. throughout that whole.. gathering thing or whatever, he couldn't stop thinking about you. he usually can't stop thinking about you these days, just talking to you is enough to entertain his mind for weeks, surely that can't be normal, right?

"y/n?"

chenle's sudden call startles you, seeing as how you jump from your previous position at the sound of it. he just sort of stands there awkwardly, allowing for you to compose yourself as you smile at him. oh you're smile is so pretty, chenle could stare at it for hours. "oh lord, you scared me! your highness".

chenle doesn't even register the title, just gives a small smile. "sorry i'm just.." he pauses, trying to collect his words. "i don't know, actually, i just kind of came here on a whim" he shrugs, looking down at the floor and not straight at you.

you simply let out a silent chuckle, turning back to your desk and going back to packing. chenle blinks, biting down on his bottom lip as he clears his throat. "oh really? is something bothering you?"

chenle allows for himself to look up again, your back is turned now anyway, so you can't see his rapidly reddening face. "a lot is bothering me, really, it feels like i can't do anything these days without feeling like the world is slowly tearing me apart limb by limb".

"well that's certainly a way to explain your feelings" chenle can't tell how you feel about the whole thing from the tone of your voice, it's something that makes him worry, because he's anxious your making fun of him and he won't be able to tell.

much to his own surprise, you turn around and step towards him. "are you feeling alright? like— physically at least?" you ask, tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him. just your eyes on him is enough to have chenle's stomach doing cartwheels, he hopes you don't notice how flustered he is, that would be extremely embarrassing.

"yeah i'm not dying or anything i'm just.. i'm overwhelmed".

well you'd expect that from someone like chenle, someone in such a position of power. chenle is a crown prince set to be king, he's getting married in a few months (that fact makes your heart hurt for a reason you can't explain), he's the next ruler of the zhong dynasty, of course he is feeling overwhelmed.

"ah well that's expected" you laugh lightly. "you have no symptoms though?"

is my clearly reddening face a symptom? my fluttering stomach? my seemingly labored breathing? why can't you tell i'm madly in love with you yet!?

the screaming voice in his head is just as annoyed as chenle is at his current circumstances. you narrow your eyes as you stare at him, and for a moment, chenle thinks you might be reading his mind, but he quickly dismisses such thoughts because that's ridiculous.

"no, no symptoms, i'm alright".

you seem to want to ask for more reassurance, but you don't, instead shutting your mouth and smiling at chenle. "good, i can't have you dying".

"you'd never let me die".

"you're right about that".

chenle looks down at the floor, determined to not make eye contact with you. "where are you heading?"

chenle only realizes then that you're packing your stuff, he didn't even note it down when he stepped into the room and saw that you were doing it, he was much more focused on just beginning a conversation with you, he was much more focused on talking than observing.

you hum, giving him a mere glance then looking back down to the small set of items you were packing. "i'm going to visit my mother".

chenle blinks, the words coming as a small surprise to him. "why? is she alright?"

you quickly glance back up to give him a reassuring smile. "just doing a routine check up, and it's nice to visit your mother once in a while, i need to make sure she's doing well".

chenle responds with a small 'ah', watching as you continue to pack, he feels his stomach churn uncomfortably once again, if he stays in this castle any longer, he might die from the walls which seem to slowly be pushing the air out of his lungs.

"can i come?"

chenle has no idea where that came from, it's like he had no control over his own thoughts or words, he blurted that out in a moment of vulnerability, a moment of.. wanting. he can't stay here any longer, he might die. you now fully look at him and furrow your eyebrows, clearly as puzzled as chenle is by the words. "what?" you chuckle lightly, and chenle feels his face burn immediately.

"i'm sorry, i don't even know where that came from i'll g—"

"no no you can.." you pause for a moment, collecting your words. "you can tag along if you want to i just— i don't know, you can leave the castle?"

"well yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to take me with you i don't even know why i asked that in the first place".

"chenle" you say softly, and just you saying his name like that has chenle's knees feeling weak. how did he deny his feelings for you for so long when you have him feeling like this? he's almost positive you can notice how flustered he is now. "if you want to come visit her with me, you can".

chenle stares at you for what seems like years (in his eyes), contemplating whether he should take your offer. your basically holding your hand out to him, begging for him to take it, for him to intertwine his fingers with yours. how could he ever turn down such a proposition?

"i— okay".

"okay? so you'll accompany me?"

"yeah, yes yes! i will" he replies much too enthusiastically for his own liking, you seem to catch on, as you laugh at his sudden shout. if your laugh wasn't so pretty chenle would've immediately turned away and replied with some snappy rebuttal.

"nice" you whisper, finally finishing your packing. chenle watches you intently, he can't exactly speak at the moment. luckily, you speak up once again. "we have to do something, though".

"what?"

you catch chenle's puzzled expression, and you laugh once again. "a disguise, just so you don't cause an uproar while we go visit my mother".

for the first time this whole entire day, chenle lets out a small laugh, amused by the words which escape your lips. "were gonna sneak around?"

you snicker, looking down at the floor. oh you're adorable, chenle shouts it out in his head, he can't tell you face to face so he'll shout it there.

"yeah, guess you could say that".

though he's just the slightest bit skeptical, chenle trusts you, and a smile crosses his face.

CHENLE DIDN'T REALLY THINK HE'D HAVE as much fun as he does sneaking into the village with you. well it's not really sneaking, you live here, you've grown up here, you just had to put him in some totally not suspicious cloak so that he doesn't draw attention when you make it outside of the castle. he almost fell on his face when you dragged him out of the palace gates, because of the way you dragged him, and because you started holding his hand.

chenle feels like a girl obsessing over a boy crush, just you holding his hand is enough to make him begin overthinking the whole thing in his head. according to you, you had to hold his hand to make things seem more natural, but he suspects that you're lying because of how red your face is as you try to avoid eye contact with him.

chenle has only really been to the village a few times in his whole life, though he's had his fair share of experiences here as a child, he never got to stop and observe his surroundings, much too busy trying to settle his anxiety while watching all of the people in the crowd burn holes into his head with their stares.

chenle has always been fascinated by the lives of others, whether it be the stories kun told of the urban legends village kids would spread, or the many times he begged the staff to take him on carriage rides throughout the kingdom as a child. he likes seeing situations through other people's eyes, the life of citizens who don't live as royalty seems like nothing far from the fictional stories he reads in the books in the library.

"you almost pulled off my arm, that was totally suspicious!" chenle whisper-yells, but it's not a shout of seriousness, it's playful, the beginning of a banter.

"oh i'm sorry your highness! do you need medical attention?"

chenle feigns an offensive gasp at the sarcastic comment from you, which results in nothing but a snicker from you as you nudge him with your shoulder. he caresses the back of your hand with his thumb unconsciously, ignoring his clearly heating cheeks as he performs the action.

"do you still live in the same place you grew up?"

"hm? oh yeah, we could never really afford to get another place, it's become a super comforting place for me.."

"ah, i see".

chenle admires your face for much longer than he was supposed to, and if you notice, you don't seem to care enough to comment on it.

chenle allows for his eyes to roam freely around the expanse of a town. it's a pretty place, even with how tiny it seems, he feels much more relaxed here than in the large palace he grew to know as a home, the palace was really in the middle of nowhere, no fellow citizens around for him to make connections with or whatever. this town is the clear definition of community, the kind of place where everyone knows everyone.

"oh y/n! y/n!"

chenle startles from his thoughts when a shout rings in his ears, you snap your head towards the figure, a figure chenle can tell you recognize because you give them a smile, he opts to stay silent in this interaction. "hi tao, how is ying doing?"

the man smiles brightly at you, pulling you into an abrupt hug, making your fingers slip from chenle's. you squeak as he squeezes you in his arm, but you manage a smile, resisting the urge to glare at chenle as he silently snickers at your suffering. "she's recovering well! thank you so much, i don't know how i could ever repay you!"

"there's no need to" you smile softly again, finally able to remove yourself from his crushing grip, you rub your aching arm and awkwardly chuckle. "i just enjoy helping others, i'm glad she's feeling better, tell her i said hi".

"will do! thank you so much!"

the guy gives one last smack on your shoulder before walking off, and chenle has to resist the urge to laugh loudly as you wince from the strong grip who had been squeezing you to death with that hug.

"are you enjoying my misery, your highness?"

chenle can barely contain his laugh as he looks over at you, being met with your deadpanned gaze. he looks down at the floor to stop his giggling, making you frown. "no, it was just too hilarious not to laugh at".

"uh huh, you're sooo funny".

though you were clearly irritated by chenle's laughing fit, you only softly smiled at him trying to hide his laughter. you reach over to take his hand once again, just playfully glaring at him. "yeah continue laughing at my suffering, we still have to make it to my mother's house".

chenle, again, gets jolted forward by a strong tug on his hand, but he doesn't say anything more, just snickers as he sees the pure dedication in your eyes. he smiles as he sees the look in your eye, you're just so adorable.

when you abruptly stop, chenle bumps into you, and your fingers slip from his, an action which makes him frown in just the slightest. he likes holding your hand, he has no idea why, but he does.

you begin digging through your bag for your house key, and chenle simply watches, listening to you hum the tune of a song, one you always hum the tune to whenever you find yourself bored. "here" you whisper, victorious in your search for your keys. you quickly unlock the door and gesture for chenle to follow you in with nothing but the tilt of your head, he silently steps into your childhood home, a comforting feeling in the air as he closes the door behind him.

while you drop your bag onto a nearby table and begin looking through it again, chenle slowly removes the cloak he had been wearing as he observes his surroundings.

the place is nice, small, but nice. it has a comfortable sort of air that makes chenle want to immediately relax, it's not the fanciest place, or the biggest place, but it's a home, a comfortable, quiet home. chenle would love to live here, maybe in another life, a life where he doesn't end up born into a highly respected royal family, he just gets to live like this, it's a place that seems to bring a feeling of solace.

chenle glances over at you, your eyebrows furrowed as you continue going through your bag. you seem to sense his eyes, because you glance up at him and you meet his eyes. you blink, then glance over at a door across the room. "you can go see her if you want".

chenle awkwardly chuckles as he glances at the door your eyes were on, he then glances back at you. "i— can you come with me?"

chenle just wants to stay around you.

you stare puzzled for a moment, but you don't question it, you leave your bag alone and gesture for chenle to follow you to your mother's room. chenle stays silent the whole way there, noticing the way your mood changes as you step closer to the door.

you knock on the door. "mom?"

when you open the door, you peak your head through, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you hear her say something. "yes yes i know, i'll remember to tell her, i brought a guest".

chenle slowly peaks from behind you, giving your mother a small smile. "hello" he greets softly.

your mother gasps, sitting up in her bed. "zhong chenle?"

chenle lightly chuckles, looking down at the floor, you nudge him with your shoulder. "oh my goodness, you've grown so much! come here give me a hug!"

chenle is almost surprised, he was afraid she was going to have a bad reaction to his presence, but she was much more excited to see him than he thought she would be. you push chenle into her room, motioning for him to fulfill your mothers wish.

she quickly wrapped her arms around him when he got close enough to her. her hugs are still as warm as he remembers, he almost wants to hug her forever and never let go. "how are things going these days? i wanted to go to that little parade of yours but y/n forbid me from doing so!"

"because you were vomiting all morning, i wasn't going to risk it".

she pulls away from the hug to grab both of chenle's hand, smiling softly at him. the smile reminiscent of the smiles she would share with him in the hallways of the palace when she used to work there. "you always worry so much" she raises an eyebrow at you before turning back to chenle. "how have you been these days?"

chenle smiles at her, noticing you leave the room, but too focused on answering the question from your mother to follow you. "i've been good, just a little stressed from everything happening lately".

her eyes widen again, and she nods excessively. "right! your getting married soon! how are you feeling about the whole thing?"

chenle's face falls just a little bit, but he quickly reverts back to a smile, not wanting to worry her with a random frown crossing his face. "it's all.. new, it'll take some time to get used to but i know i can get through it".

the older woman smiles at him, seemingly liking those words. "that's good, i'm glad you're still friends with y/n, he missed you".

chenle blinks, the words surprising him. "he missed me?"

your mother chuckles at the question. "yes he did, i remember watching the two of you run around the castle together as children, i was afraid the friendship wouldn't last, when i first resigned, y/n said he feared you two would drift apart".

chenle almost gasps at the information he receives. were you really worried about that? for the longest time he felt like such a bad friend because he began having no time for you as the two of you grew up, yeah that's what happens as people get older but he'd always see the flash of disappointment in your eyes when he had to be dragged away for another stupid royal meeting.

"i didn't know he felt that way, it's getting much more difficult to get him alone with everything going on".

"i heard you two are beginning to talk more, he always comes to me so giddy about it these days".

chenle is again surprised by the information he hears, a small laugh of disbelief escapes his lips at the words. "really?"

"yeah, he came freaking out over you two talking about books, books! you make him so happy, chenle".

the words strike chenle like a slap in the face, it's just so shocking to him he stands with his mouth agape for much longer than he'd like to admit. his face burns at the fact, at the idea that pops into his brain.

the idea that you might feel the same.. that you might reciprocate his feelings.

he swears smoke is going to begin pouring out of his ears from how heated his face has become.

"i'm glad i could do that, y/n is truly a blessing, i don't know what i'd do without him".

chenle thinks those must've been his truest words today, a look into what's really going on in his head, a look into how he really feels.

god it's always with you isn't it?

"it was nice seeing you again, mrs. l/n, i'm glad your recovering well".

at the word 'recovering', the older woman suddenly tenses, an anxious look in her eye as she looks away from the crown prince. "right, yes, thank you for visiting, chenle, it was nice seeing you too".

chenle smiles at your mother, nodding. "i'll leave you be now".

chenle slips his hands from hers, smiling one more time before leaving her room, gently closing the door behind him. he turns around and looks over at you, your still rummaging through your back, but chenle can tell you aren't looking for something, you seem to be trying to distract yourself.

"y/n?" chenle calls out, seemingly against his own will, because he's surprised by the sound of his own voice. you simply hum in response, not wanting to look him in the eye for some unknown reason. he quickly makes his way over to you, standing beside you and accidentally bumping your shoulders.

"is she really sick? i mean she looks fine! much finer than any sick people i've seen—"

"it's her kidneys".

you cut into chenle's sentence with a shaky tone of voice, you look over at chenle, sighing as you see the confusion cross his face. "her kidneys are failing, chenle".

chenle feels his heart drop upon hearing that, and you look away as you see his reaction to the news. "what? but how did that even happen—"

you let out a distressed sigh, gritting your teeth and closing your eyes. "she contracted lupus, right before she took that break back a few years ago, she recovered and we thought everything was fine but then she started vomiting every other day and i couldn't figure out what was wrong so we went to a doctor outside of the kingdom and.."

you look like you're about to cry, and you take in a deep breath to blink away the oncoming tears, but you persist, not wanting to break down in front of the crown prince. "she got diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, by that point she had been suffering from it for a whole five months! and what can i do? it's.."

incurable.

the word simmers into the air, it's unsaid, but both of you know what's truly going on. your both silent, none of you saying a word as silence quickly takes over the room. chenle finally takes the initiative and glances over at you, the tears brimming in your eyes threatening to fall at any moment.

still, you don't allow for yourself to become vulnerable in front of chenle, wiping the tears that haven't fallen from your eyes. "it's a lot to try and digest at once i'm just.. i'm not ready to see her go".

chenle gets it, anyone would get it, he stays silent, afraid of not being able to do the comforting as well as you do. "i'm sorry".

"there's no need to apologize, i mean— this is just how life works!"

"i hate that it works that way" chenle responds, fathers dying eyes flash in his mind, and he bites into his bottom lip so hard that it begins bleeding. god, he hates that memory, father only passed away no less than a year ago, and the image of his lifeless face still haunts chenle in his nightmares.

"yeah, but what can i do?" your clearly trying to be positive, but it's difficult for you to. "i'm just worried that one day i'll come home and she'll be gone.. i already had to go through it with dad and now— i don't know how i'll deal with it".

chenle stares at you, a small smile comes to your face as you glance back at him. chenle wants to cry just seeing you try to hold back your own tears, so he looks away from you quickly.

he then looks back at you, moving closer to you and taking your hand. "if you ever need someone to talk to, to vent to, to— yell and cry at.. i'm here".

you chuckle at the words, tears again welling up in your eyes. chenle feels you squeeze his hand, and he smiles softly at the sight of you. "really? you'll listen to my stupid ramblings?"

"yeah" chenle responds, nodding a little bit too enthusiastically, but he doesn't care. "i will, your feelings are just as important as mine, and you're my friend, it's what friends do".

you squeeze his hand, laughing softly again as you let a small tear slip down your face. "thank you, chenle".

"it's no problem, y/n".

CHENLE IS GENUINELY GOING INSANE, AND ITS ALL because of you. he can't focus on anything but you, and it's literally driving him crazy. he has never, never in his 21 years of living on this earth ever felt so much for just one person, what is it with you? he can't even think about you without his face turning a bright shade of red, his palms easily get sweaty and his words become nothing but a jumbled mess.

chenle finds it hilarious, how he was raised to be poised and proper, never swear, never talk when you don't have to, never interrupt others, sit like this sit like that, speak like this, speak like that, but right now, he's acting like a psycho more than anything.

he's pacing around his room like he just lost his mind or something, completely distracted from everything else as his mind is focused on you and you only.

he must look crazy, hair messy, clothes in disarray, pacing back and forth as he tries to figure out if feeling like this is normal, or even allowed here.

"chenle? could you explain to me why your mother wants— oh dear".

kun walks in midway through chenle's strange breakdown thingy, and the younger isn't even paying attention to him because he's screaming into the pillow on his king sized bed. the older watches in concern, and the breath chenle lets out is a mix of weary and frustrated. "chenle? what's wrong?"

kun drops the clipboard he'd previously been holding to rush over to the younger's side, if he focuses hard enough, he swears he can see tears welling up in chenle's eyes. "chenle.."

chenle sniffles, looking down at the pillow in his lap. "i'm in love with him, kun".

kun blinks, dumbfounded. "with who?"

"with y/n! i can't— oh my god i'm so stupid!" the crown prince grabs his pillow again and lets out a well needed scream of agony, a scream that makes kun sigh as he stares at the sight before him. "i don't get it! why does he make me feel like this!? everything is so complicated and i can't even do anything about it because i get married in two months—!"

"okay okay, calm down" kun is quick to cut in, pressing a quick thumb to his cheek to wipe away the tears. "take a deep breath, talk coherently".

chenle sniffles again, taking in another breath and then exhaling, collecting himself as he tries his best to think coherently. "i don't know, kun, it's all getting to my head, i want him so bad yet i can't have him".

and just the fact makes chenle stomach drop, he wants to start sobbing once again, but he contains his tears. "it's stupid i know—"

"it's not stupid, chenle, it's totally fine to have complicated feelings about things, and people, but you'll never have closure if you don't tell him how you feel".

"but what's the point, kun?" chenle doesn't see why it would matter anyway, what would you even do when he told you how he felt? would you grimace and push him away? would you accept his confession? what would you do? it's all he can think about. "what difference does it make?"

"it gets the pressure off your back.. and, if it's any consolation for you, both you and y/n can finally come to terms with your feelings".

chenle's eyes widen at the words, they settle a new emotion on him he can't exactly explain. "what the hell do you mean by that?"

"language, your highness" kun jokingly reprimands, his tone reminiscent of his mothers scoldings whenever chenle would mess up the garden of roses on occasions. "y/n might've.. told me some things, but you'll have to ask him about that".

"that isn't fair!"

"it is! you have to ask him yourself, it's the only way to get yourself in order!"

chenle deadpans at his older friend, but kun just snickers at his expression, lightly shoving his shoulder. "don't look at me like that, you know i'm right".

chenle would roll his eyes, but kun does have a point. "maybe i'll listen to you.."

"you should".

chenle has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at that response too.

CHENLE THINKS YOU LOOK EXCEPTIONALLY PRETTY when you read. it's not that you're not usually exceptionally pretty, it's just that he enjoys admiring your profile as you read, eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed, lips occasionally parting in shock, he could stare for hours. he might look creepy on a few certain occasions, but you rarely ever notice.

chenle doesn't know how many times the two of you have been up together late in the night, just sitting in the library talking about literature. he doesn't even remember what your talking about most of the time, but he loves talking to you about bullshit pertaining to the books your both into.

for the both of you, books are sort of an escape in a way. chenle enjoys indulging himself in worlds of fiction to distract himself from his mess of a life, and you enjoy indulging yourself in messy love stories with terrible endings to distract yourself from your own issues in life.

it's all truly a coping mechanism for you two.

you both are a coping mechanism for each other, chenle finds it all simpler around you, and you feel as if you don't have to be so professional around him anymore.

chenle doesn't sleep much these days, but that's because he's spending most of his nights in the library with you. he likes listening to you talk, the way you simply piece together your words is amazing.

"and it was so sad! i cried my eyes out for weeks after reading that!"

chenle snickers at your whining, and you caress the material of the book in your hands. "i mean.. the book is literally called, they both die in the end".

"i know! i know! but that doesn't mean it's still not sad" you frown, recalling the ending of the book you were rambling about.

you quickly stop your pouting and make your way over to another part of the library, the section including romance books. chenle doesn't follow you, but his eyes surely do, he makes sure to keep them trained on you, as if you'd disappear if he even looked away from you for just a moment.

"do you want any more recommendations? or..?"

"oh, no no no" chenle shakes his head. "i just—" he pauses, having no idea how to say the words without sounding like some weirdo who totally has a crush on you.

well he is a weirdo who totally has a crush on you, how hypocritical.

"i like listening to you talk".

you blink at his words, noticeably flustered at the way they came out. chenle takes your silence as you judging him, so he's quick to chuckle awkwardly and begin waving dismissing hands. "i didn't mean to say that i know it was weird and stuff—!"

"no no! it wasn't weird i'm just.. i'm not used to being told things like that, you're so unique with your words and i never know how to respond to them".

"oh.."

"yeah".

you click your tongue, and chenle simply stares. oh you affect him so much without doing anything, what is up with you? his ears are burning, he might collapse at the very moment.

what was that kun said again? you'll never get any closure if you don't just tell him how you feel. yeah, he isn't sure if he'll be able to do it.

"can i show you something?"

chenle's breath hitches against his will, he has no idea why he's nervous, why the hell is he nervous? it's just you, it's you, his friend since he was a child, his oldest friend, you probably know him better than he thinks you do.

you wouldn't do anything bad.

"is it terrible?" he raises an eyebrow, and you laugh. your laughter is pretty, so pretty. "well? is it?"

"no, just come here" you beckon chenle over to you with your hand, a hand he almost shies away from, but he can't shy away from you, so he steps closer, following you. he feels like a mind controlled puppet, your a magnet attracting him closer and closer until he presses into you.

you smile as you see chenle in your peripheral vision, your fiddling with something in your fingers. chenle furrows his eyebrows, having no idea what it is, he tries to look over your shoulder, but you quickly block his eyesight, much to his own dismay. "why are you hiding?"

"i'm not hiding! be patient, your highness".

your teasing tone of voice doesn't make it past chenle, but he doesn't stay anything, just keeps his mouth shut. you hum as you turn back to chenle, still fiddling with your fingers as you smile at the crown prince, who is puzzled by what you're doing exactly.

you then open your palm, extending it forward towards chenle, and his eyes widen at what he sees.

"what is..?"

"we— um.. remember that friendship bracelet i made for you when we were ten? the one you broke?"

chenle laughs lightly, his face burning. "yes i remember.."

"well, i kept mine, and because were.. you know, friends again, i remade it for you, if you want it of course!"

chenle stares at you, then he stares at the bracelet in your hand, and he can't resist the urge to smile. you're absolutely adorable, sweet, chenle really really really likes you. his silence makes you anxious, and you want to begin picking your fingers until they bleed.

chenle must realize it, because he immediately laughs, a hearty laugh, a lovely laugh. "y/n, i love it, it's so.. cute i can't— how long did it take you to make this?"

"well i was thinking about it for a while and i just barely finished this last night i just.. i don't know, i missed you, a lot" you say, your words a vomit of adoration, oh you're so adorable. "it was a brash decision really".

"you're so—"—cute—"sweet, really".

you again step closer to chenle, silently asking to have his wrist with the extension of your hand. he doesn't even think before placing his hand into yours, allowing for you to slip the bracelet onto his wrist. it fits perfectly. of course it does, chenle can barely stifle his giggle.

he feels so giddy.

you don't let go of his hand, and chenle doesn't move his hand either. he stares at the indirect act of affection, his hand gently placed upon your palm, a palm that you aren't moving. what are you two doing? what the hell is going on?

"y/n" chenle calls out, his voice barely elevated as he avoids eye contact with you. "what is.. what are we doing?"

"i don't know" you mutter, blinking. you don't even think before taking your free hand and intertwining it with chenle's other free hand, now your holding both of his hands, an action that has chenle's face reddening to amazing heights. "your hands are warm".

chenle simply looks away, basking in the feeling of your fingers laced with his. he likes holding your hand, it just feels right, your fingers intertwined with his, your hands placed on his.

"yours are cold".

the words are nothing but your observations of each other whispered into the air. it's a strangely intimate moment, you two are just staring at each other in the library, your short breaths can be heard in the silence of the huge room around you.

you sink your teeth into your bottom lip, then stare at chenle's. chenle blinks, he sees you, he sees what you're doing, but it doesn't seem like you're trying to be slick, you don't care, you are unashamed in your decision.

he isn't really sure how to feel about that.

you lean closer, much closer than chenle thinks he could ever handle. you give a small smile, and chenle wants to faint. he's holding your hands, your leaning close to him, and you look you want to kiss him.

and he wants to kiss you.

oh he wants to do it so bad.

"may i?" you ask, but you aren't looking chenle in the eyes, your staring directly at his lips. chenle almost chokes on his spit, are you really asking him if you can kiss him? do you really like him as much as he likes you? is he dreaming?

he stares like an idiot for so long that he almost looks frozen.

chenle nods wordlessly, but that's not good enough of an answer for you.

"verbal consent, chenle".

chenle wants to pull you into a kiss by force right now.

"yes! yes, you may".

you note his enthusiasm, enthusiasm that makes his face redden, he looks away from you, clearly embarrassed.

you chuckle silently, letting go of his left hand to take his jaw and turn him back towards you. then, you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips.

it's short, sweet, and ends in pretty much two seconds.

your cheeks are dusted red, and you immediately look away from chenle upon finishing your action. "that was stupid, right? i'm sorry! i don't know why i did that i jus—"

chenle doesn't let you finish, he grabs the back of your neck and smashes your lips together. you let out a small squeak of surprise, clearly not expecting the action, but you quickly relax into the kiss, sighing softly as you let an arm wrap around his waist, pulling him closer with your hand on his back.

it's.. nice, it feels right, chenle is relaxed. his heart isn't pounding uncomfortably, he doesn't feel that anxious pit in his stomach, his chest isn't tight, he feels like he can breath (ironic, really), and he doesn't want to burst into tears at his circumstances.

he feels good, he feels content.

god, it's always with you isn't it?

"wait wait, hold on" you pull away for air, pressing your forehead against chenle's as you gather your words. you chuckle awkwardly, looking down at the floor instead of at the crown prince in front of you. "sorry, i don't know how to feel about this".

chenle blinks up at you, and all you can see are his pretty eyes staring at you. you fumble through your speech, trying your best to be coherent even with the way he was staring. "i'm just.. i don't know, i have to check up on my heart levels and shit—"

chenle gasps loudly. "language, y/nie".

"you can't just say that after you literally took away my breath you.." you stop in your speech, snickering at the way you're acting, the red on your cheeks doesn't disappear, but chenle thinks he likes it that way.

"y/n" you look up as chenle calls your name again, now completely focused on him. "i.. i don't really know how to say this but i— i like you, okay? like a lot, not even just that i'm in love with you! it's.. complicated".

wow, so much for a smooth confession, chenle.

chenle narrows his eyes at the voice in his mind, it sounds like.. you?

you freeze at the confession, your whole body paralyzed as you try your best to process the words in your head.

"oh".

chenle can't tell how you feel by your tone of voice, but to him, it doesn't sound good.

CHENLE USED TO BE AFRAID OF ASKING HIS FATHER certain questions. he was unpredictable in the sense that chenle never knew how he'd react if he asked him a question as simple as what 1+1 was. when father was alive, chenle feared him, not because he was physically violent or anything, but because he was intimidating. the air temperature would lower whenever he stepped into the room, and the way his voice boomed when he talked was enough to have chenle shivering for weeks.

"father, may i ask you a question?"

"is it a stupid question?"

at thirteen years old, chenle was still as fearful of his father as he was back when he was seven, and he almost wanted to cry the moment his father responded to his question with another question. he swallowed his own spit, a feeling of anxiety immediately settling onto him. "well— i'm not sure.."

his fathers shoulders relaxed, and he hummed. "what is it, chenle?"

"why do i have to get married?"

the question was much more abrupt than chenle wanted it to be, and he clamped his mouth shut as soon as the words escaped his lips. his father stayed silent at the question, which didn't lessen his worries, it worried him much more than it should've.

his father then chuckled, he chuckled, and chenle almost let out a gasp upon seeing the sight. when was the last time he'd seen that happen? the sight was truly one to behold, he was amused, amused!!

"why are you so curious about that? you're way too young to be interested in stuff like marriage".

"i'm not that interested i just— i heard mother say something about it and i.. i don't know! i just want an answer".

his father turned back to him, an unintelligible expression on his face that chenle still doesn't understand even to this day. "let me ask you a question, chenle, do you want to get married?"

the question struck chenle as odd, but judging by his father's smile in the moment, the question was very much needed. the thirteen year old prince blinked, puzzled, but he didn't let the question linger in the air for too long, afraid of upsetting his father with his silence.

"maybe, in the future, when the time is right, with someone who i like, and know is a good.. person to me".

"person?"

chenle nodded, wordless as he tried his best not to shrink under his father's gaze.

"ah, i see".

chenle had no idea where he was trying to go with that question and statement.

"what kind of person?"

chenle was once again speechless at the question, he allowed for his eyes to roam around the room as he scoured his brain for an answer to his father's question. then, he spotted his answer, it was you, giggling with kun about a dumb joke as your mother rummaged through her work bag for something.

you caught his eye in the moment, smiling the sight of him as you waved, mouthing a small hi from where you were across the room.

chenle giggled at the sight, waving as well as he returned your greeting.

unfortunately for him, father noticed everything.

"oh? someone like y/n?"

chenle immediately snapped his head towards his father, beginning to sputter at the assertion from him. "y/n? what do you mean by that?"

his father merely glanced over at you, his lips unconsciously quirking up into a smile. "you seem to like y/n, the two of you are friends right?"

"yes, yeah we are".

"huh" his father clicked his tongue. "if you ever do get to decide who you want to marry in the future, let it be someone like him".

chenle choked on his spit, he had no idea how to respond to that. the words have stuck with him forever, even after father's death, even after his marriage to yinuo was confirmed, the words ring in his head whenever chenle does as much as look at you anymore.

it's been a week, a week, a whole entire seven days, and you have been avoiding chenle like the plague. literally. you see him in the halls and make a break for the nearest door, you catch his eyes randomly and you immediately look away. you don't smile, you don't stop to make small talk, you just turn your back and run away.

did he do something wrong? did you really not return his feelings? (no! that can't be true! why would you kiss him back if you didn't feel at least something for him?). chenle has no idea why you're suddenly avoiding him, but you are, and he has to figure out why.

so, when chenle finishes having a totally fun conversation with his mother, he makes a beeline towards your office, he knows your there, because you aren't anywhere else during the day usually. you don't visit your mother on tuesdays, chenle knows that very well.

he stops in front of the door of your office, a sudden anxious feeling taking over him. he raises his fist to knock, but then lets it fall, he instead turns the knob and opens the door to your office.

you don't perk up immediately at the sound of the door opening, mainly because your back is turned and your focused on cleaning up a rubbing alcohol spill. chenle doesn't say anything, the silence in the room practically swallowing him whole.

you still don't look back, simply humming. "did you leave something here, kun? are you going to nag me about cuts again?"

chenle keeps silent.

when you finally do turn back to look at chenle, expecting kun, you pause, an unreadable expression crossing your face. you clear your throat, smiling awkwardly as you tucked your hair behind your ear. "hi, your highness".

chenle's jaw clenches, what's with the sudden switch up? why aren't you calling him by his name anymore?

"hi, y/n".

another uncomfortable silence takes over the room, and chenle wants to die in that very moment. there's no playful banter, there's no snickering, you two aren't talking, this is one of the strangest things to ever happen to the both of you in your whole entire friendship.

you two always talk, even if it's just small talk, this random silence makes chenle anxious.

"did i do something wrong?"

judging by your reaction, that wasn't the question to ask. you simply chuckle, going back over to the spilled rubbing alcohol and finishing up with your business. "no".

"so what happened?"

"nothing happened".

"it doesn't seem that way, you've been avoiding me ever since.." chenle looks down at the floor, picking at his nails as he tries not to stare at you. "you know".

you hum, finally turning back to chenle again with the intention of making eye contact. chenle looks over at you, but not directly in your eyes, just at your face. "we can't, chenle".

"what?"

"we can't be.. we just can't, chenle".

chenle's eyebrows furrow. "you could at least elaborate on that".

"you know what i'm talking about, chenle" you grit your teeth, but you aren't frustrated by chenle, no, you seem frustrated by yourself. "you're getting married soon and i'm.. i'm nothing like you, this isn't right—"

"what makes you think that?" chenle cuts in, what is wrong with you? what the hell is wrong with you? is that really what you think? he's about to kill you. "are you embarrassed?"

"embarrassed? what? no! no! i'm literally the one who offered to kiss you i just.." you cover your face with your hand, letting a distressed groan escape your lips. "i don't want to be the reason everything goes wrong for you".

"is that really how you feel? is that really how you think i feel..?"

"chenle" you begin softly, your tone of voice making chenle's stomach flip. you close your eyes and clasping your own hands together. "i do like you too, i— love you, even, but we just can't be together".

oh. that's what it's about.

chenle sucks in a breath, he wants to shout at you, not because your making him mad, but because your right, and he knows it. he wants— no, he needs to break something, throw something against the wall in frustration, break a glass window. just anything to keep himself from having a full on mental breakdown from your very words.

"of course you would say that".

you scoff at his petty tone, but you sound more disappointed than frustrated. "your acting like i'm doing this on purpose, if things were different then maybe—"

"why can't we make it work now? huh? why does it have to be if things were different?"

"because you're getting married chenle! you— you're going to become king and i don't want to hold this over your head".

"you're so.. stupid! how is that all you've gotten from this situation?" now chenle is getting desperate, he wants you to change your mind, even if he knows it's unlikely that will actually ever happen. "you're not holding anything over my head and you're not going to make anything go wrong, i don't get it!"

"i'm being realistic.."

"how is that realistic?"

"because it's better than potentially losing my job! chenle! i have to take care of my mother, i can't afford to risk my position because someone thinks you're cheating on your fiancée with me".

your words sting, but they don't sting chenle, they sting you. your chest hurts, so you simply shake your head, sighing in defeat. your arms drop to your side and you turn away from chenle, gritting your teeth.

all chenle can do is give you a look of sympathy. "y/n—"

"chenle, leave it alone" you snap, yet you don't come off as annoyed, more upset. "i'd prefer if you'd leave".

you really just need to think, you just need to peacefully gather your thoughts without chenle in the room.

chenle wants to argue with you, to walk forward and take you by your arm, to grab you by your face and kiss you senselessly whilst telling you that he doesn't care about what anyone thinks.

but chenle obeys your wish, turning around and leaving the room.

KUN KNOWS CHENLE ALL TOO WELL AT THIS point that the younger is convinced that he's a mind reader. from his narrowed eyes to his silent snickers, he can always tell what chenle's feeling before chenle himself even does. back when they were younger, chenle assumed kun had to be some sort of supernatural being, possessing some kind of telepathic power or something, but as he's grown up, he realizes the older is just that observent.

case in point: chenle's current attitude.

"why do you keep sulking? they teach you not to do that at like.. age ten?"

kun's comment doesn't receive it's usual rebuttal from chenle, it simply gets silence, silence that kun hums at. he resists the urge to roll his eyes, standing beside the stubborn crown prince. "okay, tell me what happened".

"what?"

"there's no use in pretending that you don't know what i'm talking about, chenle, what happened?"

kun has always been assertive in this sense, chenle finds his power to be absolutely shocking. maybe, in another universe, their roles are reversed, kun would make a better ruler than chenle ever could anyway.

"i'm an idiot, kun".

the statement results in kun letting out a strange sound, a sound of complete confusion. he then raises an eyebrow, one that makes chenle want to dig a hole and die in it forever. "what is that supposed to mean?"

chenle scowls, covering his face with his hands as he resists the urge to claw his own eyes out. he lets out a groan as your face flashes in his mind, oh he is so stupid, why couldn't he just be fearless? why does he have to be such a coward?

why couldn't he be brave for you?

"i— god, i confessed to y/n but i even managed to mess that up and now we're on bad terms.."

kun goes through seven expression changes as he processes the information. "what? what are you saying?"

"he just told me the situation like how it is" he grits his teeth, looking away from the older. "we can't be together no matter how much we want to, i'm getting married and he can't risk losing his job and.. i have to go through with the marriage".

"who says that?"

"my mother, kun" chenle sighs, feeling as if he just got punched in the gut. "i don't want to put too much on her shoulders, a marriage like this has been planned for me for who knows how long and she's clearly not her best considering father didn't pass that long ago and.." a groan leaves his lips, a sour taste in his mouth. "this will make her happy, i just want her to be happy".

kun stares in silence, clicking his tongue. "have you ever tried to prioritize your happiness?"

chenle sighs. "we're not starting this again kun—"

"no, we are going to start this again, you have to think about if you're happy before ever going through with a marriage, marriage is a legally binding thing! you're gonna be in a union with this woman until you die! are you really happy with that?"

chenle opens his mouth to speak again, but it falls shut. he can't really respond to that. 

all of his life he grew to believe that he'd eventually get used to arranged marriages and the idea of having to warm up to his partner. all royalty have to do it, it's just apart of the process. heck, chenle is the result of an arranged marriage himself, why would he ever challenge it when it was always the most likely outcome?

it's different because it's you. chenle can't possibly think about going through this marriage at all now that he's realized how he truly feels for you, it's not right, he shouldn't, he can't.

you're a terrible liar, chenle. at the end of the day, you will go through with this marriage, it's all too risky to not.

"i.. no, i'm not" chenle finally responds, his voice a mix of disgusted and frustrated. "i just— i always thought it was supposed to be this way, i don't want to just.. do it differently".

"well why not?"

"because this is for the good of my future, for yinuo, for my mother, to test if i can live up to the ruler my father was".

chenle bites his inner cheek, suddenly feeling nauseous. he closes his eyes, not wanting to face kun's gaze.

the older simply sighs. "i can't make you do anything you don't want to, chenle, but don't make a decision you know is going to leave you unhappy, i'd hate for you to be stuck in an uncomfortable position for the rest of your life".

and with that, kun turns and walks out of the room. chenle doesn't open his eyes until he knows kun has left the room.

the words ring in his head all day.

WHEN CHENLE WAS ELEVEN, YOU TAUGHT HIM about the several constellations that appear in the night sky. you taught him their names, how they form, what they represented, and your thoughts on them. you always had a thing for those luminous balls of gas in the sky, something about them always left you so intrigued, waiting for the next time they would show up so you could drag chenle out in the middle of the night to see them with you.

tonight, andromeda is in the sky.

it's never been a favorite of yours, more one of chenle's favorites, but he knows you'll be outside, staring at the aligned stars in the sky. he takes kun's words into account, and wishes his mother a good night before turning on his heel to make his way towards a familiar place of comfort.

the rose garden, of course.

the best thing about the rose garden is that it has the cool glass roof you can see the sky through. it was an addition that was only made a few years ago, one last hurrah for mrs. qian before her eventual retirement.

chenle spent a lot of time reading about constellations, all the information he learned he would relay to you. he loved seeing how interested you were in the information you already didn't know, your eyes would widen comically and then they would light up.

constellations have always been special to me, you told chenle once. they remind me of dad, he's the one who taught me about them, i like to think that he's now become apart of cygnus.

chenle was surprised by your way of grieving, but he couldn't exactly blame you. you liked to think your father became one with the stars, and you'd always be especially excited when cygnus appeared in the sky.

when chenle steps into the rose garden, he isn't surprised to see you already there, lips parted in surprise as you stare up at the sky through the glass rooftop. you don't notice him immediately, but when you do, you smile. "hi".

chenle bites down on his bottom lip, but he steps forward anyway. "hi".

you put your head down, then turn to chenle with an unreadable expression on your face. "i missed you".

chenle allows for himself to lightly chuckle at the fact. "you're the one whose been ignoring me all this time".

your shoulder slump, a small sigh leaving your lips as you rock back and forth on your heels. "i do realize that was pretty.. rude of me, i just needed time to think, i was probably going to have a breakdown if i didn't collect my thoughts".

chenle nods, pressing his lips together in a thin line. an uncomfortable silence passes through the air in the room, and you glance up again to examine andromeda once again.

"i'm sorry".

you snap your head over at chenle. "for what?"

"for yelling, and for calling you stupid" chenle looks away from you, ashamed of himself. "you were just being realistic and i was.. i wasn't thinking clearly, like an idiot".

"don't say that" your voice is so soft, it probably feels like clouds. "i get where you're coming from, just saying those words made me sick.." you pinch the bridge of her nose, and chenle can't stop his head from turning so that he can stare at you. oh your side profile is so pretty, chenle could admire it for hours. "i'm sorry, chenle, you probably felt like your feelings didn't matter in the moment and that was so terrible of me to do, romantic feelings or not, you're my friend, and i care about how you feel, i shouldn't have dismissed you like that".

chenle can't resist the urge to smile, his lips turn up much too quickly, but of course they do, because it's you, it's always with you. chenle has never felt such a way for another human being in his life, but he guesses your whole relationship must've been planned by the universe or something.

"you're so.. stupid" chenle reiterates, but it's said much more affectionately than the last time. "you have always considered my feelings, you are literally one of the sweetest people i know, don't apologize for thinking about yourself for once, your job is much more important than our.. relationship thing".

you pause at the words, shaking your head as a small snicker falls from your lips. "i love you, chenle".

oh.

if chenle didn't have any self control, he would've done a trust fall right then and there. he wants to faint onto the floor and never get up. hearing the words from you makes him exceptionally giddy, you make him happy, you make him so happy, oh chenle is so glad to have you in his life.

happy ending or not, at least he finally knows what you feel for him.

"i love you too" he whispers, his voice getting stuck in his throat, the shock doesn't wear off that quickly, unfortunately. you reach over for his hands, intertwining your fingers with his. it feels so right, chenle could just be like this forever, and everything would be fine.

as long as he's with you, everything will be fine.

you hum at the response, a red color dusting your cheeks. you could just barely stifle your giggle, and it's simply amazing to chenle. you're just as giddy about him as he is about you.

oh chenle loves you so much.

you look up at the sky once again, eyes lighting up at the sight of the aligned stars. "andromeda has always been your favorite, right?"

chenle wants to faint, you remembered. "yeah".

you smile, your smile is beautiful.

you're a desperate man, zhong chenle.

he can't exactly disagree with that.

"you have good taste".

"you flatter me too much".

you finally looks back down, snickering as you squeeze chenle's hands. you lean forward and press a kiss to chenle's lips, it's simply a peck, but chenle loves it. "you deserve it".

chenle wants to squeal like a teenage girl with a crush, you're so cute, you're so adorable, he loves you, he loves you so much.

maybe you can't make it work now, not in this universe at least, but there could be another universe, another timeline where it does work, where it doesn't have to end like this.

chenle is upset it can't be this universe, but this is just how life works. knowing that he can't change his fate, knowing that he will go through with this marriage, knowing that he probably has no true shot with you is all upsetting, but he'll learn how to deal with it, at least you're still by his side.

at least your still in his life, he's grateful for that.

and when he sees you giggle once again, his heart warms. as long as you're happy, that's all that matters.

[partycatty]

dark star johnny hatefucking his gf/bf over the balcony in his mansion, and acting like he’s gonna drop them off of the balcony if they misbehave in any way

this one has been SIMMERINGGGG in my inbox ive been too excited to write it LOLOL, also i changed this prompt just a smidge

dark star!johnny cage > fall for me

warnings: SMUT AS FUCK, UR LIFE IS BEING THREATENED BUT UR INTO IT LOL, again ds!jc is just literally insane !! also exhibitionism !! and also cnc !! jesus this man needs hella warnings!

notes: IM SORRY U GUYS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG YOU ALL HAVE BEEN SO PATIENT SO IM REWARDING YOU

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 6*

[ masterlist ]

• dark star!johnny has a short temper, one he enjoys putting out on you. oftentimes, you didn't actually do anything, he's just mad at the idea of you going against him and that's typically enough to rile him up alone.

• this time around, you were a whopping ten minutes behind getting ready for one of his A-List parties. something about your makeup just didn't feel right no matter how many times you applied your eyeshadow or concealer, so adjustment after adjustment left johnny tapping his foot outside of the bedroom door.

• "baby~," he'd sing-song shout from the crack of the door. "this party is a big networking deal for me, and you're already fucking it up~!"

• "i didn't fuck anything up," you reply from the vanity seat, trying to focus on your lip liner. "we'll be on time, you baby."

• "don't you talk back to me!" he slams his palm again the wood, making you jump and, yet again, smear your liner. your lower your head to the vanity, bumping your forehead against the surface with a sigh.

• he eventually unlocks the bedroom door using his master key and ushers you out of the door with the temper of a toddler. his hand grabs your upper arm as you're placed into his luxury car and he drives off with a huff.

• johnny refuses to speak to you the entire time you're at the party, mostly ignoring you to bump shoulders with directors and writers. he wouldn't ever publically admit it, but roles were running dry as his agent turned up with no jobs, so he brought it up to himself to make some damn money.

• will probably call you the "ball and chain" or "the missus" in a super objectifying way as he gestures at you, trying to make the older higher-ups laugh. you had enough of it.

• deciding no longer to be his personal punchline, you wander away from the bustling, hot celebrity room and find a balcony. you were always the one to prefer fresh, open air and city skylines while johnny would rather be the one in the midst of the aforementioned city. you took advantage of this independence and leaned over the glass, savoring in the way the wind cools your damp skin.

• you only get to enjoy a few minutes in the quiet bliss before you hear the door slide open. at first, you expect it to be another partygoer hoping to squeeze in a quick smoke break, but you're horribly disappointed to be ripped from your tranquility by none other that your boyfriend.

• johnny stands at the door, fists clenched and jacket swirling in the wind. his eyes look dark, his brows furrowed.

• "where'd you go?" he asks, crossing his arms.

• you look at him like he's stupid (because he is). "the balcony?" you reply. johnny shakes his head.

• "that's not what i meant."

• "well, i left your side because i was tired of being shit on for an hour straight."

• "nobody's shitting on anyone!" johnny throws his arms in the air at your admittance, like he had no idea how cruel he was being. "they're just jokes! you're being dramatic. i thought you loved attention."

• "johnny-" you pinch your nose. "i have literally never said that."

• "but you show it! through your actions!"

• "oh my god, you're delusional," you turn away from him with a groan, trying to ignore the whiny bastard behind you. that proves a hard task when you hear his boots step up behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist and head buried in your neck.

• "you know i want you here," he mumbles into your skin, rocking you gently. you turn your face away from him, not falling for his charm.

• "you don't show it," you mutter in response, trying to take a step away from him but his grasp only strengthens.

• "i could," he hums, pressing his front to your backside. "or i could punish you for making us late."

• you swivel your head, craning your neck to glare at him. "seriously? now?" he breathes into your neck, agreeing breathlessly. "no, johnny. not here. people will see."

• "isn't that the fun part?" he grunts, grinding his hips into your ass. "don't be boring. you've been boring all night."

• his hands hike up your skirt hungrily, exposing your nearly-naked ass to the cold air. you shiver and yelp out, which only makes you jump back against him even harder. he shudders at the contact.

• "come on," he whispers, hands snaking up to squeeze your chest. "don't make me be mean. you know i don't like being mean to you." his fingers find your hardened nipples, massaging them with pinched fingers.

• attempting to crane your neck to ensure the balcony's doors are locked, johnny notices your diverted attention and holds your jaw, angling it out toward the city.

• "you see that?" he breathes, now fully grinding against you. "that's my city, baby. i'm the king of hollywood, isn't that right?"

• "i guess," you reply, gasping at his erection sliding against you.

• SMACK! johnny didn't like that answer. you lurch forward from the hard slap to your ass.

• "say it," he growls, biting your neck. "or i'm gonna make you."

• "you're the king of hollywood," your voice is comically flat, exhausted from always having to gas him up for the dumbest things. johnny picks up on your unenthusiastic tone and spins you around by your hips, sitting you on the balcony ledge. his lips latch onto your throat, sucking and biting hungrily.

• his fingers danced on your panties, sliding them aside. as much as you wanted to be annoyed with him, he is so unimaginably fine. and you're the type of person that likes to be manhandled. both traits he ate up.

• before you could say anything more, johnny's fingers dove into your mouth, collecting a good amount of your saliva before using it on your pussy, shoving two fingers inside making you cry out in surprise.

• "not here, right?" he breathes, savoring the way your breathing gets heavier and your skin warms from his touch. "then we'd better be quick. and quiet." his fingers scissor inside of you, making you moan with a hand shut over your lips.

• johnny was impatient, not finding any joy in fingering you, so he glanced behind him to ensure the coast was clear before whipping his dick out, holding his shirt up by his teeth. he lined himself up, eyes focused on your bodies merging rather than your expressions.

• didn't matter how many times you get it on, you will never be fully ready for how long his dick is. while not the thickest, it just feels seemingly endless as it's embracing your walls.

• he spins you around again, throwing your front over the balcony ledge and holding you by your hips. surely, if he were to let go, you'd fall. and it wasn't a short drop.

• "fuck," he hissed as his tip met your entrance. "i control you, isn't that right?"

• a distant "mhm" slips from your lips as johnny shoves himself inside again with a slapping thrust. his gasp slides into whimper territory as he bottoms out.

• "fuck yeah i do," he growls, now going at an unholy pace. he hated the progression of sex - it was either all or nothing. "could drop you right now."

• you're pulled from your lust when you look down, noticing the rocky way down to a small river. damn these celebrities and their hillside mansions. you swallow thickly, hoping he was joking.

• "please don't," you beg in a whisper, interrupted by gasps with each thrust. "please don't let go."

• johnny could only laugh loudly at your plea, bruising your hips with his grip as he ruthlessly pounded. he was sticking true to his word about being quick, because his breakneck pace was making your cunt flutter.

• "nobody would even notice," he moans, his shirt dropping from his teeth and falling back down his front. "i'm the star."

• "you're the star," you parrot in a sick mix of lust and fear. "you're my everything."

• "i could fucking throw you off for making us late. could drop you — haah — you like it when i play god, don't you? you wanna fall for me, baby?"

• his brows knit and eyes screw shut as he finds his release inside of you. you try hard to not laugh at the fact that his own dirty talking is making him close. his grip loosens as he concentrates, and you fearfully try to hold yourself against the balcony so you don't topple forward.

• "joh— john—" you worriedly look down again, your stomach flipping as it nears an orgasm - and potential death. "johnny, please—"

• "hmm?" johnny tilts his head, a cocky smirk on his lips and exposing his beautiful pearly white teeth.

• your brain feels torn in half. you want to beg him to hold on, but you also want to cum so badly. unable to decide on an outcome, your voice sputters out pathetic begs, not entirely coherent as your mind grows foggy with an overwhelming amount of emotion.

• thankfully, your body decides for you. your knees buckle inward and his hold on you tightens. you cry out, cumming around his dick as your voice echoes through the hills. you swear a flock of birds takes off from how loudly you orgasm.

• "haah — don't fucking fall—" johnny's hands pull you impossibly closer. "not when i'm clo— ngh —"

• you find no peace after finishing, just johnny's hips slamming into your ass as his pants grow uneven. it's not long before he spills inside of you, holding you there as you're filled up.

• johnny's the first one to pull away, pulling out and making you whimper from the emptiness. you turn around to face him, your ass still bare, red, and spilling with semen. his phone's in his hand when he snaps a couple photos of this puppy eyed look.

• "you look so pathetic," he laughs, the flash of his camera making you shield your eyes. "i bet hollywood heard those moans. all thanks to me."

• you pull up your own panties and johnny visibly twitches seeing a droplet of his cum seep through. shockingly, he places a quick, chaste kiss to your lips.

• "and you're welcome for not dropping you," he winks with a toothy grin, thinking it was some kind of joke. a deep, dark part of you knew he probably genuinely considered dropping you. you were just lucky you were only ten minutes late, who knows what he'd do if you were an hour late.

• as you're pondering your life and near-death experience, johnny returns to the party, waiting for you at the door. it would be best if you stuck by him for the rest of the party.

[boomtastics]

Slams into your inbox

😎

Hey. I heard you wrote for gn reader? AHEMFNSUDHDJSJDJDJ IM SO AHHHHH/pos

Forgive my manners. Could I have a Malleus with a very sleepy s/o? Like they can fall asleep…anywhere

Even in dangerous situations 😭 and like Malleus just falls in love with them even more.

If not, no worries! I saw your repost and I was eating that up so good 😎 please and thank you sm!!!

Character(s) | Malleus Draconia, Silver

Type | Romance, Fluff

A/N: SO SORRY IT TOOK A BIT LONG HERE KITH KITH KITH

Mhm..." it was the only sound that came out of you. It was the last class of the day. Trein's class...the most boring of them all.

Trien was talking about some magical sorcerer or something, you didnt really pay attention. You where just trying to stay awake, Rubbing your eyes occasionally or yawning..maybe scratching your arm. All in a weak attempt to not drift off.

"Hey," Sliver said, poking your cheek with his pencil end. "Did you get any sleep last night?" He asked, a slight concern lacing his voice.

"Barely...I do this so much. I stay up on my phone, and then regret it the next day...doesnt help im already tired normally."

Silver chuckled, spinning his pencil in his hand. "I get that..not the phone part but y'know, just being..tired. all the time."

Not long after, classes ended, and right there was Malleus waiting by your class door. "Ah, child of man. How was your day?" He asked, grabbing a hold of your hand.

Still rubbing your eye, you replied "it was fine i guess. Jeez, im so tired. I swear im about to pass out..." you complained. "Oh my, let us go to my dorm, it would be best if you didnt pass out on the floor like Silver."

"Yeah, i guess so...Wheres grim?" You asked, worried for you little friend. "Do not worry, I believe he is with Trappola, Spade, and Rosehearts."

Sighing in relief, your mind was put to ease by his words. Soon, both of you left to his dorm, he held your arm tightly. Making sure if you did pass out, he would catch you immediately and make sure you didn't fall to the floor.

Getting to the dorm, you practically fell to his bed. "My, your quite comfortable, are you not?" He chuckled, sitting on the bed as it slightly dipped down. You groaned, shifting and moving around to find the perfect spot.

It wasnt long until you were absolutely comfortable and very sleepy. Malleus laid next to you, he reached his hand out towards to you. "May I?.." He asked permission to hold you. You nodded and yawned slightly.

Malleus wrapped his arms around you, holding you carefully and delicately. As if any pressure would shatter you.

"My love.. I am glad that I get to see you everyday. I am glad to be your lover. Each glance that you give me, every smile that we share, all our moments together, I treasure them all. I am proud to be with you, your kind heart had no bounds... I love you."

Awh. How sweet... But you where already asleep by then, his low and smooth voice luring you to slumber.

"Ah.. I suppose I will tell you again when you awake." He kissed your head gently and closed his eyes.

"Rest well my dear."

©𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒎𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔, 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕, 𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕, 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆, 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒑𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏.

[rottenrosethorns]

I see your looking for request, so I was more than happy to show up in your inbox

I came up with this randomly - anyway. Leon plans a weekend getaway/vacation for him and the reader. Somewhere where they can go swimming (beach,lake etc etc). Leon needs to relieve some tension. Leon and the reader share romantic night swim together totally on a whim, and just enjoy each other’s company, and tiny bit of smut just to top it all off.

much love x

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x afab!reader 

Genre: Fluff, Smut 

Synopsis: Disaster after disaster, Leon’s weekend plans seem to come to an unfortunate end; however, you convince him to try one last resort at a secluded campsite off the side of the road. 

Word Count: 4.4K 

Warning: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT; swimming, bugs, unprotected sex, vanilla romantic sex 

A/N: all of my a/n are like “sorry for taking so long” and “it’s longer than expected” lmao. Thank you anon for requesting, i hope you like it! I really hope i got the romance translated through the story (if its subpar, im sorry, im tragically single LMAO) 

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- masterlist - 

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“Hey, hey, look at me,” You reached across the center console to cup Leon’s cheek and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, “Everything’s going to be okay, alright?”

Your voice hushes into a comforting whisper as you rubbed Leon’s cheek with a sad pout. Thankfully, your kiss seemed to soften his disarray of emotions as his frustrated wrinkles eased away as he let out a quick huff. Leon’s eyes were set looking through the windshield, avoiding your eyes at all costs as he wanted to avoid you picking up on his embarrassment. But, even without looking at him, you always knew what emotion he was feeling. You could clearly tell that Leon was disappointed in himself despite your attempts at reassurance. Leon sighed loudly, resting his elbow on the driver’s door as he looked down with his forehead resting in his left hand, “Everything was supposed to be perfect.” 

Optimistically, you tried to offer him a smile, but even you knew that you couldn’t argue with him about that one. Nothing was ever perfect, but this weekend trip was far from smooth sailing. Leon – being the vacation desperate man that he is – took the first chance to get out of town and booked a picturesque shoreside cabin for the extended weekend. It’s been way too long since he’s had a break, and all he wanted to do was spend time with you while reconnecting with nature. Well, the latter part was more so a suggestion from Leon’s therapist to which you essentially forced him to start seeing. Although he deemed it unnecessary even with his success of departing from the hardships of his trauma, Leon only agreed to comply with the treatments if you were doing them with him which included you enjoying the calmness that nature offered as well. A win is a win, you suppose. 

However, not everyone could be winners without losing once or twice, and Leon seemed to be on a streak today. With the cabin site a hefty four hours away from home, you were bound to run into some mishaps. But those mishaps quickly turned into mayhem as you faced the tribulations of Leon losing and finding his wallet, changing a flat tire on the highway, getting pulled over and let go with a warning, nearly missing a deer kissing the front bumper, and much, much more. Leon felt like he was fighting for his life more so on this road trip than being on an actual work mission. The only difference being that his enemy was the invisible universe instead of the normal mutated creatures and undead humans. 

Upon struggling to reach the cabinsite, Leon was relieved to pull into the parking lot of the front office and finally settle down after the hectic events of the day. But as if his trip couldn’t get any worse, the receptionist at the cabinsite pitifully informed you both that Leon’s booking confirmation never went through and that there were unfortunately no vacancies for the rest of the weekend. So now, you were both back in Leon’s car as he tried his best not to blow a fuse from the abundance of misfortunes. 

Just as you were about to respond back to him, your eyes shifted from Leon towards your phone screen that just lit up from being drained of its battery. Leon mistook your untimely silence as if you were condemning him at fault for being the reason why this trip was so disastrous. As he went to shift away from you, you quickly reached out and embraced his hands in yours, “We’re still going to have fun, okay? We’ve got a couple hours until sundown and I think I have an idea.” 

“You sure? If you don’t want to, we can go back home,” Leon offered with a downward turn on his lips. As much as he hated the idea of going back home and sitting idly within those same four walls of the house, Leon didn’t want you to feel as if you were being forced along with him to share the unexpected hardships of the road-trip. 

“Didn’t you say you wanted to reconnect with nature?” You laughed to yourself, already finding the imagery of Leon frolicking in the grass like some Disney princess amusing, “Let’s go here, I saw it on the way.”

Leon leaned over to look at the location you’d pull up on your phone, showing a small and secluded campsite hidden on the side of the road. Leon inspected the images with a skeptical look, “Are you sure? Those pictures seem kinda old, what if it’s not what it looks like anymore?”

You shrugged, “Then, we’ll find out and see.” 

“We don’t even have camping supplies.”

“Then, we get them.”

You and Leon stared at each other in silence as the proposition sunk in. After a moment, Leon sighed and started the car’s engine to drive off wherever you directed him to go. A part of him hoped that you wanted to tell him to turn around and go home, but the other part of him still wanted the weekend events to work out. After a bit more convincing, you managed to dissipate all his doubts and initiated yourself to take the responsibility for the rest of the trip. Although he was disappointed that his plans fell through, Leon couldn’t bring himself to put in more effort in the trip. During the ride, you constantly reassured him that nothing bad would happen although you both knew you really couldn’t promise that. It didn’t stop you from believing nonetheless. 

You directed Leon for a while until the car stopped at the nearest department store where you gathered all the necessary camping supplies and whatever food you wanted to last you the weekend. Thankfully, Leon’s mood started to brighten up as he chose your favorite snacks and even offered to buy you a cute stuffed teddy bear to keep you company. Was he slightly jealous that you were beaming at the plush? Maybe. But, he’d buy you anything to keep that smile on your face. 

Once satisfied with the purchase, you both departed the parking lot and drove until you found yourselves going down a tiny dirt path. The further you went down the road you started to second guess whether or not this was a good idea. It was a good half of a mile drive from the main road, and you were skeptical if there was even going to be a nice scene at the end of the road to settle in. The dirt road quickly started to disappear as the path became more and more overgrown as if no one had driven over it for quite some time. You cringed at the sound of the tree branches scratching the sides of Leon’s car as the edge of the forest got narrower. You really didn’t want the campsite to be bad and dampen Leon’s mood even more. You knew how much he needed a break, and you wanted to help make that happen. 

As you progressed deeper into the forest, the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach worsened. Leon seemed to notice your skepticism, “You sure this is the right place?”

You let out a nervous giggle, tightening your hold around your teddy bear, “Yes?”

Leon shook his head, unsure whether or not to believe you, yet he continued to drive forward blindly. You felt yourself holding your breath in anticipation as the thick trees looming over the road started to clear up. You lurched forward in your seat, rubbing your eyes from thinking that you saw something in the distance. As Leon approached, a laser flash of the sun’s reflection flashed your squinting eyes before you started to piece shining ripples on a water’s surface, “Is that a lake?”

Upon completely entering the clearing, your eyes were welcomed with a wide yet humble campground peacefully secluded from the main road. The campsite was equipped with a circle of rocks acting as a firepit with a small path leading down towards the sandbank and access to the lake from a wooden dock at the shore. Utterly breath taken from the sight before you, you awed the sheer capacity of the view. The lake was essentially crystal clear surrounded with rocks, cliff ledges, assortment of lush green trees, and a mountain. It was exactly what you’d see in a painting.  

Leon pulled off to the side, parked the car, and hopped out eagerly to deeply inhale the fresh scent of pine. You quickly followed after Leon and leaping into his arms for an open hug while laughing, “Is this okay?”

Leon snuggled into you, feeling happy for the first time today, “No, this is perfect, maybe even better than the cabin.” 

Leon tightened his arms for a moment as a silent thank you for your suggestion before putting you down and turning to soak himself in the view as well. While he was looking away, you couldn’t help but put yourself at ease from watching the smile on Leon’s face grow as the relief washed over him. 

You kissed his cheek and glanced at the campsite again, “Let’s set up for dinner before the sun goes down.” 

You and Leon tagged team setting up the tent and making dinner before sitting yourselves at the edge of the dock to eat and relax. 

“Can you believe that there’s places like this that actually exist?” You breathed a sigh of awe as you watched the reflection of the setting sun shimmer against the breeze induced ripples on the lake's surface. 

Unfortunately, your moment was partially ruined by some flying insects invading your vision and coming a bit too close for comfort as you swatted them away chaotically. Just as your bravery was set to dissipate, Leon aided in swatting the small swarm away. Shivering from the imaginative feeling of bugs crawling on your skin, you groaned in discomfort while rolling your eyes, “My knight and shining armor.”

“Is this your token of gratitude?” Leon feigned hurt by putting a hand over his heart dramatically, “Even after I aided your distress?”

You pushed him away with a laugh, yet your arms returned to rub them over your skin subconsciously. Even when you knew you were safe, you still felt vulnerable, especially out in the open, “I hate bugs.”

Leon hummed in acknowledgement as he intensely peered out into the scenic lake before perking up suddenly, “I have an idea!”

You eyed him suspiciously, moving your torso away and holding your hands up cautiously, “Uh-oh.”

“It’s not even dangerous,” Leon rolled his eyes, “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

You blinked, “Yeah, I don’t know about that one.”

“When have I ever put you in danger?”

“Let’s see,” You pointed each finger up, counting off the events as you recalled them, “Vegas, New York, LA – oh, don’t forget China too!���

“Alright! Alright!” Leon huffed with an exaggerated pout, “You have a point.”

“I always have a point,” You smiled in triumph, “Now-”

Leon cut you off by suddenly standing up and offering you a hand. You peered at his hand for a moment before shifting your eyes to his as you both silently communicated. Eventually, you decided to take his hand and let him lead you to wherever he planned to; however, instead of helping you stand up like you anticipated him to, Leon had pulled you forward and used the momentum of your imbalance to throw your body against his as he engulfed you in a hug and threw your bodies into the lake. 

Closing your eyes and holding your breath, you were completely submerged in the cool water. As quickly as it happened, you felt Leon’s hands grab your waist and help you break the surface and take a deep gasp for air. 

“Seriously, Leon?" You wiped the water droplets off your face and pushed your hair back,  "What are you like ten?" 

Leon’s hands moved from your waist to the back of your thighs and guided them to wrap around his waist as he floated around in the water. Leon smirked as you securely wrapped your arms around his neck, afraid to drift too far from him although you were safely near the shore’s edge, “Feels nice, doesn’t it?”

You were about to question what he meant by that before you realized that the cool sensation of the water wore off the icky feeling of the bugs crawling on your skin. Upon seeing your face, Leon laughed in satisfaction, knowing that he was right. 

“Shut up,” You mumbled. 

Leon leaned into you closer, teasingly hovering his lips near yours, “What was that?”

“I said-” You took your chance to release his neck, cup a pocket of water in your hands, and splash Leon in the face. 

Leon released you, giving you a chance to swim away before becoming a victim to his revenge. You can’t remember how long you were in the lake for, but you definitely are going to remember the memories of laughing and smiling with Leon for the rest of your life. Before you knew it, the sun was barely over the horizon as the black and blue sky began to overtake the pink and orange hues. While distracted from looking at the sky, Leon swam towards you. 

“Come on, you’re getting cold,” Leon helped you gain your footing as you both trudged towards the firepit soaking wet. 

You squeezed out the hem of your shirt in efforts to reduce the amount of water on you; however, you remained drenched no matter how much you twisted and wrung the fabric. Turning towards Leon, you meant to ask him which bag he packed the towels to retrieve them but was promptly stopped upon seeing him sling off his shirt and wringing it out. You gulped as you watched the veins trailing down his arms to his hands enhanced as he tightly gripped the fabric of his shirt. Now with the moon high in the sky, Leon’s bare skin seemed to glitter as his muscles flexed. 

You felt like you would’ve stayed there forever had your thoughts not been interrupted from Leon’s chuckle, “Can I help you?”

Adverting your eyes and clearing your throat loudly, you awkwardly pointed towards his car, “Um, I'm gonna get the towels. Which – uh, which bag did you put them in?”

“I didn’t pack towels.”

“You,” Your jaw slacked, “You what?”

Leon shrugged, taking a nearby stick and propping it upwards in the ground near the fire and hung his shirt to dry, “I figured the cabin would’ve provided some, so I didn’t pack any.” 

You stood there dumbfounded, knowing that Leon did have a point despite his lack of preparedness, “We can’t stay wet like this, we’ll get sick.”

“There’s a fire right here,” Leon stated like it was obvious before hooking his thumbs around his waistband and stripping himself from his pants and undergarments. 

You gasped loudly, turning your back towards him as your wide eyes did their best to avoid being flashed, “Leon!” 

Your voice echoed out into the forest as Leon’s boisterous laugh filled the air as he slung the rest of his clothes over another stick, “Come on, it’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before.” 

Heat flushes your face as you bite the inside of your cheek from the imagery of Leon being completely unclothed, most times from events when you both were getting intimate, “T-That’s different!” 

You knew Leon rolled his eyes from the tone of his voice, “You can turn around now, I’ve got clothes on.”

Slowly, you peeked at Leon, making sure he was telling the truth before committing to fully view him. True to his word, Leon had dressed himself with his previous outfit hanging near the fire. He handed you your clothes he managed to grab and set up another row of sticks to set your wet clothes to dry. 

When he noticed you were still frozen in place, Leon asked, “What’s wrong?”

Quietly, you mumbled, “Can you turn around?”

Leon paused his movements before a wide smirk flashed across his lips, “What was that?”

“I said,” You huffed, annoyed, “Turn around!” 

Leon snickered at your embarrassment but ultimately complied as he turned his back towards you and patiently waited until you handed him your sopping clothes to be hung on his makeshift clothing line. Once you finished dressing and hanging your clothes to dry, you noticed Leon shuffling about inside the tent. You watched as Leon basically disassembled the bedding setup and placed it outside near the campfire, “You know those are supposed to go inside the tent, right?” 

For a while, you tried to decipher what he was doing while urging yourself not to scold him for placing the sheets on the dirt. Leon would set the sheets in one spot, crane his neck upwards before moving the sheets to another spot before doing the same thing again and again until he settled on a spot to his liking. He was a bit of a perfectionist and his wide smile proved that point even more as he sat down and patted the spot next to him eagerly. Playing along, you seat yourself next to Leon and follow suit as you both laid on the sheets to look up at the night sky. There you saw the blanket of darkness with billions of stars that seemed to glow brighter than it did in the city.

“See the big dipper?” Leon took his hand and placed it over yours with your pointer outwards as he stretched your arm out towards the sky and traced the shape of the constellation, “And, there’s the little one.” 

Leon continued to look up at the stars and educate you about the history of each constellation and the mysteries of outer space. You listened intently, soaking every story and fact that he had to tell, “Since when did you know all this stuff? I thought you hated astronomy and horoscopes.”

Leon shrugged, “I do, but then I watched this documentary.”

You laughed incredulously before returning to awe at the glittering specks above you, tracing the constellations’ patterns over and over again. From the forest to the lake to the stars, you felt at peace in the countryside and a part of you wondered whether you could make a life with Leon out here far into the future. While looking at the stars, a quick linear flash of light darted across the tail end of the Little Dipper, “Leon, a shooting star! Make a wish!” 

Instinctively, you brought your hands up to your chest in a mock prayer while dragging Leon’s hand in yours as you closed your eyes and made your wish. After a moment of silence, you turned towards Leon, only to be surprised that he was looking at you the whole time. Leon chuckled at your reaction, “What’d you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you, silly, or it won’t come true.”

“Fair,” Leon said without glancing away at you, “You want to know what my wish was?”

“It won’t come true if you tell me,” You said in a hush just above a whisper, noticing the twinkling in Leon’s eyes became brighter than the stars above you.

“What if it already came true?” 

Leon’s eyes traced the features of your face as the campfire’s flames illuminated your complexion. Slowly, Leon brought up a hand to cup your cheek as his thumb softly traced your bottom lip, “Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t have to ask,” You whispered. 

Immediately, Leon pressed his lips to yours in a loving embrace, only moving his lips slowly as if to slow down time and relish the feelings of this moment. You melted into his kiss much like all of his others, but you yearned for more as you broke the kiss to straddle his lap. Sitting up, Leon rested his hands at your hips as you wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kisses you gave him. Grinding yourself onto Leon’s hardness, you helped each other take off your shirts before Leon dove forward to pepper kisses along your neck and collarbone. You arched your back, easing access for Leon to leave a few marks behind. Leon trailed his hands up and down your exposed back before dipping them into the hem of your shorts and gathered the fabric of your underwear in a gentle tug, causing the friction to rub against your clit. 

Leon pulled back for a moment, chest heaving from lust, “Are you sure you want this?”

“This isn’t our first time,” You giggled, running your fingers through his messy hair. 

“I know,” Leon said with his eyes flickering from your eyes to your swollen lips, “I’m just checking.”

“For?”

“If you want this,” Leon hesitated, pressing his lips in a fine line, “If you want me.”

You sat back, arms dropping to your sides as you peered at your lover confused. Leon rarely ever questioned your reasoning for staying with him despite all his history and his flaws. But, it was when the crackle of the fire paired with an extra large flicker of flame flashed the raw emotion of uncertainty in Leon’s eyes when you understood that it was the insecurity of all his history and all his flaws which clouded his mind with doubt. You had to step back and see things from his perspective for a moment. Of course, Leon was used to disasters in his everyday life, but now with all the great memories he’s created today, he was scared to lose it all now that the night was coming to an end. 

Knowing this, you smiled at him, holding his jawline with both hands as you pressed a passionate kiss to his lips. Leon responded with equal passion, but you could still sense a twinge of doubt within him. You pulled away, just enough to hover your lips over his as you rested your foreheads upon another, “Let me show you that I want this, that I want you.”

Leon gulped, eyes flickering between yours before slowly nodding and letting you take the lead. Taking his hands off your hips, you slid off his lap to fully undress yourself and guided him to do the same before reclaiming your place. You sat back, allowing enough space for you to dip your hand between your legs to grab Leon’s dick and slowly pump him at the base. Leon took a sharp inhale, eyes focused on your working hand. It didn’t take him long to get fully erect before you trailed your hand further up his shaft to drag his tip and spread your lubricant from pussy lips to clit. You spread the slickness along his shaft, causing him to hiss from the ease, “Don’t you need to prep? I can-”

You hushed him, “I’ll be fine, I need you in me right now.”

Leon twitched at your words, salivating from your eagerness. He didn’t want to lose his composure so quickly especially since you seemed to be holding on so well, but he was just as desperate to be in you and you were for him. Taking him back in your hand, you raised your weight in your knees and positioned yourself to take him in. Slowly, you sank down, allowing yourself the luxury of the initial painful stretch before using your body weight to bottom out. Leon’s face contorted with pleasure, using every ounce of self control that he could muster not to move your hips up and downwards as you took a moment to adjust to his size. Leon closed his eyes, taking shaky deep breaths in and out. 

You knew it was evil, but you purposefully prolonged your adjustment just to see Leon in this state. You found it endearing to see him so frustrated as you essentially cockwarmed him, but you knew you couldn’t keep this up for too long before Leon would turn the tables on you and make you regret testing his patience. So, with one last look of desperation on his face, you finally pumped your hips against his and took all of him. You hugged his wide shoulders and bit down on his skin as you dragged your walls against his veiny cock. The heat of your core plus the heat of the fire ignited a flush within you as the ember glow filled the air around you. 

Leon chose to show his appreciation by gripping your waist to push you back and leaving open mouth kisses on your breast and nipples. You arched your back, using his shoulders to hold for leverage as you continued to pump yourself on him. You could feel yourself beginning to tightened as you approached your finish and surely Leon could feel it too; however, Leon repositioned his hands to lift you off of him and on the blanket, so that you were lying on your back. 

“I was almost done,” You looked up at him with a pout from your stolen climax before a moan from your lips pierced the air as Leon entered you again. 

“I know, baby,” Leon hovered over you, lips on the shell of your ear as he whispered, “I just wanted to show you how much I wanted you too.”

With newfound passion, Leon rose back up and relentlessly pounded into your cunt. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head with pleasure as you gripped his veiny forearms to keep yourself from shifting away due to his force. You cried out into the night air as your moans and whimpers became lost in the wilderness. Lost in the feeling of Leon’s heavy thrusts, you hadn’t realized he took your hands in his as he continued his pace. 

“Please,” You gasped, “I’m almost there.”

You felt the familiar clench in your gut as Leon aimed at an upwards angle, deliciously pressing against your g-spot. You gripped his hands harder as you begged him not to stop. Leon edged you on by whispering more dirty thoughts in your ear as he groaned between his speech. Once again, Leon’s lips found your their way up and down your neck before leaving hickeys around the soft skin of your breasts 

“Cum, baby, cum for me,” Leon thrusted one last time into you, hips stuttering as he held your hand and pushed himself impossibly deeper into you. You moaned loudly as you wrapped your legs around his sides and clenched around him as he pumped into you. You both laid there, taking a moment to catch your breaths before removing yourselves, cleaning up, and laying covered up to bask in each other’s after sex glow by the fire. 

“Thank you for a memorable weekend,” Leon caressed your cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” You kissed him lovingly and snuggled into his side to share his warmth. Although the fire was more than enough, it could never compare to the warmth and comfort that Leon gave you. 

“What should we do tomorrow?”

“Probably, get that tire properly fixed.” 

[dixons-sunshine]

i requested for scud but you never replied so im gonna req gf finding out scud works for a blade again

Apologies, Baby | Scud Frohmeyer x Fem!Reader

Summary: Long ago, back when you were only ten years old, vampires murdered your parents and left you an orphan, forcing you into foster care. You hated the species with a passion, and wanted nothing to do with them. So when your boyfriend revealed that he was working for a half-breed, you didn't know how to feel.

Genre: Angst, some fluff towards the end.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death and blood.

Word count: 1.3k

A/n: For some reason your first request never popped up in my inbox, so I'm sorry I didn't see it back then. I hope this is somewhat decent enough to make up for it (I don't really like this). Also, I feel like Scud is a little ooc in this, but I wanted to write a tender moment for our favourite stoner.

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

“Baby, could you please just listen to me? It's not like you think, okay?”

You shook your head and let out a bitter laugh, clutching your side tightly as you limped away from your boyfriend. Bruises littered your skin, the recent vampire attack you had found yourself in taking its painful toll on you.

Everything was a blur. One minute, you were walking back to your apartment after a long shift at work. The next, some creep in a mask—later revealed to be a bloodsucking monster—grabbed you and forced you into his car. And a few hours, maybe even days, later, a mysterious man with freakish abilities came to your rescue. Thankfully, the vampire hadn't bit you, but he did take great pleasure in hearing your screams, so he tortured you. Hence the injured side you were currently clutching to.

You had always known of vampires' existence. They were the reason you became an orphan at the mere age of ten years old. And to top it off, nobody believed you when you told them the real story. They were the reason why you were sent to a facility to treat your "absurd beliefs".

You hated vampires and anything to do with them. So it came as a great shock to you that when the mysterious man, who had introduced himself as Blade, took you back to his workshop to tend to your wounds and you found your boyfriend there. The same boyfriend who told you that he was too sick to hang out after your shift. The same boyfriend who lied to you about his job. The same boyfriend who revealed that he was working for a guy who was half vampire.

To say you were pissed would be an understatement.

Scud hurried to you, gently but firmly grabbing your wrist in his hand. He spun you around, forcing you to look at him. His blue eyes gazed down at you, begging, pleading for understanding. For you to listen to him.

“Babe, please. Just... let me clean you up while I explain everything. You deserve that much,” Scud begged, frowning deeply as guilt swarmed around in his beautiful blue eyes.

You shook your head. “Josh, I—”

“Please,” he pleaded. “Just... Please.”

You sighed, giving him a reluctant nod. “Alright,” you agreed, pulling your hand from his grip. “You have until I'm bandaged up.”

In no time at all, you were seated on top of what you assumed was Scud's workbench while your boyfriend carefully helped you out of your shirt, leaving you clad in only your bra. The wound on your side was deep, but it luckily didn't look like it needed stitches.

“You probably want that explanation now, huh?” he asked, breaking the silence well he brought a washcloth with lukewarm water closer to clean your wound.

You hissed in pain when the cloth made contact with your side. “Yeah,” you said through gritted teeth. “I was promised an explanation.”

A few beats of silence passed. Scud sighed and shut his eyes momentarily, as if gathering his thoughts. “You remember that week before we got together, when I came home from my hiking trip and I was all messed up?” When you nodded, he continued. “I was attacked by two bloodsuckers. They tore into me and wanted to drain me of my blood. The only reason I came out of that situation alive was because B saved me. He brought me back here and patched me back together. I owe him a debt because of that.”

You frowned and brought a hand to rest on Scud's cheek. He instantly nuzzled against your hand, sighing in content at the warm feeling. You didn't know this, but when Blade had relayed your full name to him over the radio, he was out of his mind with worry. He nearly abandoned everything just to go after Blade and make sure that he brought you back in one piece. You were important to him. You were the only girl who would put up with him and his habits with a smile on your face. You were the only girl that actually ever meant anything to him.

“B saw what I could do, what gadgets I could make, and he decided that I would make a great addition to his team, so to speak,” Scud continued, withdrawing from your touch and switching over to clean the wounds on your hands. “It was a great opportunity for me. This gig meant that I could make things, and not just those shitty fucking mini flamethrowers I made back in college. I mean actually make things. I felt wanted, needed, like I could actually be a part of something bigger for once. That I wouldn't be such a big fucking letdown. I wanted to tell you, especially since I know how you feel about vampires, but B swore me to secrecy. He said that working for him came with risks, and if the bloodsuckers were to find out about you, they would use you to get to me. I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't.”

“So you had to lie to me to keep me safe,” you concluded, realisation dawning on you.

“Please believe me when I say that I didn't want to,” he said hurriedly, halting his movements with the bandage and looking deeply into your eyes. “I never wanted to lie to you. Hurting you was something I didn't want to do, ever. I love you so much.”

A minute of silence passed between you. Scud was anxious, his hands nervously fidgeting with the bandage that was now wrapped securely around your hand. The last thing he wanted was for you to hate him. He wouldn't be able to live with himself.

“So this Blade guy... He hunts vampires?” you finally asked, taking him by surprise.

“Yeah,” Scud confirmed, nodding his head.

“Why? Isn't he like them?”

“Yes, in a sense. He has all of their abilities, but only the good ones. The only bad thing of his is that he inherited their thirst. Thankfully we have a serum that helps him with that. B's cool, I swear.”

You pondered over his words for a moment before letting out a small sigh. “I don't like it,” you began, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him closer, much to Scud's suprise and great delight. “You know how I feel about vampires, but that Blade guy did save my life, so I guess he's okay.”

Scud gave you a smile. “He is, I promise you.”

“So as long as you promise me that you'll stay safe, and promise to keep me in the loop with what happens around here, I guess I can learn to live with it. You look like you're enjoying yourself.”

Scud smiled brightly and brought you into a hug, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. “I love you.”

“I love you too. You're my little stoner baby. Nothing's gonna change that.”

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