#and im so nervous all the time and i constantly feel like im just barely getting the assignments in and even tho im doing well in the class

[pupkashi]

boyfriend!jinwoo headcanons

a/n: hi hi friends !! I’ve become reobsessed with solo as season 2 comes out + i started the manhwa and i have fallen head over heels for jinwoo so enjoy ! i am so sorry if it’s ooc im still trying to get a feel for his character </3 this got really messy and all over the place my bad yall i have alot of thoughts okay that’s all bye :3

warnings: maybe minor manhwa spoilers ?? that’s about all :P

- if jinwoo met you before his reawakening he definitely did not make the first move, instead opting to try and spend time around you without making things too obvious

- to say you weren’t charmed by the hunter would be a lie, you were absolutely smitten with him, stomach in knots everytime you saw him, giving him care packages after any missions and trying to warn him to take it easy

- your words and actions would always make him flush, “i promise I’ll be more careful” he’d smile, holding a bag of frozen peas to the side of his head

- he was the best boyfriend he could be, always getting you little things when he could, even finding wildflowers to make a bouquet for you when he couldn’t afford store bought ones

- he would take you out to picnics and any little date that he could afford anytime he could, romanticizing every moment with you and making you fall for him more and more

- he would save up anything he could to buy you jewelry or clothes or something you’d mentioned wanting in passing, surprising you with it with a goofy grin

- you’d tell him constantly he didn’t have to worry about buying you fancy things or spending money on you, but he would have none of it, assuring you his other expenses were handled and his sister was well taken care of

- jinwoo is the most supportive boyfriend in the world, if you were awakened and decided to become a hunter he would be your biggest cheerleader

- he wouldn’t have a bruised ego if you were a couple ranks higher than he was, instead he’d be incredibly proud of you, boasting to everyone “that’s my partner by the way”

- if you were a regular civilian he would support whatever career path you wanted to take, going to college? jinwoo is helping you study late at night and wishing you luck on exams. wanting to be a baker? jinwoo is there trying all your recipes and giving you honest feedback (and taking home test batches)

- you awaken as a hunter but don’t want to be a hunter? jinwoo is there to reassure you to live your life how you wanna, not once judging you

- reawakened jinwoo ,,, strap in yall

- the first time he sees you he feels like he’s an e rank hunter again the way he’s blushing and his heart racing, when was the last time he felt this nervous?

- he can barely get out a ‘hello’ as you’re smiling softly at him, he isn’t sure if you recognize him, you giggle softly and shove your friend slightly, eyes darting to him before catching his gaze, embarrassed and looking away quickly

- beru is quick to encourage his master, “his majesty is worthy of any he may choose” he reassures jinwoo, making the hunter flush and dismiss him quickly

- jinwoo finally works up the courage to talk to you, turning on his charm, he fought insanely strong enemies all by himself, he can ask you out on a date, right?

- he stumbles over his words, sentence jumbled up and you can help but smile at him and nod, “I’d love to get dinner sometime” you reply, exchanging phone numbers before excusing yourself and catching up with your friend group

- at first jinwoo is skeptic once he gets home, what if you were just using him because you knew he was the tenth S rank hunter? were you in it for money? fame?

- after your first date together jinwoo is weak at the knees and ready to give you the world, he’s already assigned one of his soldiers to your shadow

- one month after your first date he’s asking you to be his, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hands and a picnic spread behind him as the sun set

- calls you a handful of pet names mainly baby, doll, my love and sweetheart

- you call him honey, lover, baby, handsome and any other silly thing you can think of to make him roll his eyes; a lot of times you’ll just shorten his name, calling him jin, jinny or just woo (you once called him your woo woo bear and he was so flustered you decided to reserve it for only certain occasions)

- jinwoo was not one to cheap out on things when it came to you, if you mentioned wanting something you’d get it as soon as possible

- he’d buy you expensive jewelry and any clothing you’d like, even paying your rent and bills behind your back, a sheepish smile on his face when you confront him about it

- “doll you spend most of your time at mine anyway, how about we just move in together hm?” easily persuades you with the promise of letting you decorate the whole place, giving you his credit card to buy whatever you wanted

- jinwoo wouldn’t say he’s a jealous boyfriend,, you however would say he definitely is ! he’s also very possessive and protective when it comes to you

- if he even senses that someone else is looking at you he’s quick to flash his eyes blue, shadows whipping around him and scaring off anyone even thinking of looking at you

- if anyone is stupid enough to actually flirt with you he will not shy away from intimidating them, eyes glowing as he stares down the person, practically snarling at them until they’re running with their tail between their legs

- “alright tough guy let’s tone it down a bit” you chuckle, letting your arms slide around his waist and pulling him close to you, jinwoo just scoffs, melting into your touch and turning to face you, pulling you by the waist and kissing your lips

- “all mine” he whispers against your lips, you smile and press another kiss to his lips, “all yours” you assure him

- he goes INSANE if anyone hurts you omg like next level crashing out he’s demolishing them into oblivion if they lay a finger on you

- “who did this to you?” his voice is deeper than you’d ever heard it, a wobble in it from the pure rage coursing through his veins, his knuckles are white and his eyes don’t have the usual warmth and love they usually do

- he can barely control his ragged breathing absolutely pummeling them into the ground, his whole body glowing and shadows crackling around him

- it’s a sight to behold, his gaze and demeanor switching in an instant when he turns to you, “let’s get you home sweetheart”

- he’s very silly when it’s just you or his family around, cracking stupid jokes and being absolutely terrible at video games during any game nights

- jinwoo is absolutely a clingy and touchy boyfriend in private, the most PDA he’d show is holding your hand or an arm around your waist (unless he’s jealous then he’d full on just make out with you to prove a point)

- im talking he wants to be IN ur skin, as close as he can be; he’d nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, wrap his arms around you and pull you into him, he’d place a flurry of kisses on your face and any exposed skin, soft giggles filling the air

- he giggles SO much with you, any compliment you give him or joke you make he’s giggling and giving you the softest look you’d ever seen on the man

- he isn’t stoic at all, eyes always bright and attentive anytime you’re talking to him

- he often leaves multiple shadow soldiers with you, having very rotate between you and his sister and mom to keep tabs on the three of you

- jinwoo falls deeper in love with you when he sees how much his sister and mom like you, with his mom teasing him and asking when he was gonna marry you after the second time he brought you to dinner with them

- even though he’s a busy man, he will always make sure he makes time for you, reassuring you that you’re a priority in his life and giving you any quality time you need

- he plans at least one date every two weeks, spending as many nights or afternoons he can with you, making sure he’s home for dinner if you were cooking and watching shows together on the couch

- jinwoo is VERY in tune with your emotions, catching on to the slightest shift in your tone or actions, he’s always quick to address anything bothering you and doing anything in his power to make you feel better

- he gives you all the reassurance you need and then some anytime you feel insecure, never making you embarrassed for how you feel, instead making sure you know how much he loves and cares for you

- boyfriend!jinwoo who is always helping you with anything you need, wether it be studying or cleaning or running errands, if he’s free he’s helping you with it; even if he’s busy if his soldiers can help you then you’ve got them at your disposal 24/7

- he is just such a good boyfriend i need him so bad

[tangerinesilk]

－ DISTRACTION : DAVE LIZEWSKI

dave was a great study buddy, but there's no doubt he was a distraction. he constantly made you turn your head twice at whatever he said or did whether it was some comic book character he rambled about or how his pale blue eyes shined under the warm lighting of his desk lamp.

pairing ✷ college!dave lizewski x college!fem!reader

rating ✷ r (18+ minors dni!)

tropes ✷ friends with benefits, spicy but no / little plot, unspoken love, domestic toward eachother but no dating, dorky and awkward people in love who just wont admit it theyre in love (sort of) | nsfw warnings below!

word count ✷ 1.7k

a/n ✷ um this was a random thought and it just sort of happened. stg it feels like i blacked out while writing this KSKFFKS what is going on with me. anyways been wanting to write about this cute dork for a while and why not make it really hot. posting now so i dont chicken out but ill edit later.... i always love feedback! xo

[ steamy warnings: mentions of public sex, dom & sub switches, p in v without protection, nipple play, hj + bj, f receiving oral from m, praising + heavy dirty talk, face sitting, finishing inside v ]

typical weekends: saturday night at dave's apartment.

dave was explaining something... it was something. something important, but all you could focus on was his pretty eyes and how soft his lips looked today. he pushed his glasses up more on his nose bridge again, looking down at his book for one of his college classes.

he was so into the subject, you didn't even have to nod. you were occasionally tapping the eraser end of your pencil against your blank notebook, only listening to every other word.

suddenly, your mind wanders to when you two were doing laundry at three in the morning and got a little spontaneous. then getting a bit handsy on the top floor of the library where no one usually was. maybe even the time when you were visiting him back home for one weekend and you both could barely keep it together with company downstairs.

ever since you both agreed on this friends with benefits agreement, your dry spells were no longer an issue. it seemed like both of you were touched starved, but not wanting to meet other people, strangers you didnt want or need to know.

so, after becoming lab partners in your fall semester of senior year, its been nonstop seeing each other. not just for sex, but hanging out to study, going to local comic book stores and libraries, even the occasional dinner and sleepover combo at his apartment or yours.

it seemed like a wild card at first, but you would never admit (outloud) to dave lizewski that you underestimated how great his tongue felt inside your pus—

"y/n, are you even listening?"

you cleared your throat, "hmm?"

he chuckled, "so you weren't... i know, its kind of boring."

now you felt bad, caught up from going down memory lane and he was excited about his new class.

you ran your hand over his curls, "im sorry, dave. my mind was wandering."

he turned, seeming interested, "about what?"

you felt the heat rise to your cheeks, "about... you know..." you trailed then shrugged, "stuff."

dave smiled, "oh yeah? you weren't, i dont know, thinking about me?"

you had seen this confidence grow inside dave as more time passed, and you weren't sure if it was cockiness, but you couldn't deny how cute yet attractive it was on him.

"why dont you go back to what you were rambling about? please. im all ears now." you lean in, placing your hands underneath your chin with your elbows on his desk.

its ironic how his full size bed was behind the two of you yet here you are, acting like this was the first time you've hung out.

he pressed wet kisses against your inner thighs, your clit aching for his mouth as his nose brushed against your skin. he'd let out a nervous chuckle as he noticed the wet spot forming on the center of your panties. you'd bite your bottom lip as he licked his lips, in awe of the mess you were for him.

dave pulled down your panties, shuffling them down your ankles before tossing them to the side. his strong hands run up the top of your thighs before holding your hips, pulling your core closing to his mouth. after his first, yet hesitant, kiss on your clit, you let out a faint moan.

soon his tongue was running over your open slit and tasting your sweet wetness. you arched your back, leaning back on his desk as he flicked your clit a few times. when he pushes his tongue inside you, a rush of heat runs over your entire body. you caress your own breasts and pull at your own nipples as he picks up his pace.

"fuck... god, yes. eat my fucking pussy." you whimpered. he got so weak when you uttered your sweet nothings. as dominant as he thought he presented himself, dave was a sucker for you.

just when you thought it couldn't get better, he slide his two fingers into your slit as his tongue flicks your swollen clit. you told him how you love when he curled his fingers inside you, knuckle deep and gathering your wetness every pump as he brought you closer to your orgasm.

your hips grind against his mouth and hand, painfully near your climax. he cursed under his breath as he felt your pussy clench around his digits. he pulls his mouth away from your clit, trailing more kisses over your stomach then rolls his tongue against your right nipple.

his hand still worked your slit, thrusting so fast that your head was spinning along with the pleasure of him sucking your erect nipple. you glanced down, seeing how his hard pressed against his khakis. just the thought of taking his cock into your mouth made you dizzy, bucking your hips against his fingers.

"yes... make me cum. i wanna fucking cum on your fingers." you muttered under your breath, pulling at his curls. dave's knees were giving out as he held his position but he loved to hear your continous begging.

he was about to see if he could pick up his pace before your hand reached down, sliding into the front of his stained pants and caressing his hard cock. he grunted against your chest, instantly weak from your touch which made him pause.

"hmm, what about i cum on your cock instead?" you giggled as your lips met his, "it's so hard... bet you've been thinking about cumming inside my tight pussy, huh, dave?"

he sighed, "shit..."

"that's what i thought, baby." you say before taking his fingers into your mouth, tasting your own cum. he takes a mental picture even though you've done this in your previous hookups.

you hop off the desk, playfully pushing him on his twin size bed. you slowly get on your knees, running your hand over the crotch of his pants that were already unbuttoned and half unzipped. it's easy for your pull his cock out, practically springing from his briefs.

his eyes are glued to you as your tongue runs up and down the base before wrapping your lips against his red tip. you half-giggle when you taste his pre-cum, then carefully take him all in your mouth. you gag a bit as his tip pushes further in, and he groans when your throat tightens around him.

you push your tongue out to make sure your teeth dont graze his cock as you deep throat him, incredibly slow, so he can watch in awe. he leans up on his elbows, falling apart as you take him in your mouth so easily and your hand pumping the rest of his base.

"fucking christ... fuck." he muttered, his dick twitching inside your mouth as your salvia runs down when you gag on his hard.

his hand runs over your hair, gathering it together to keep it out of your face— also to have a better view of him receiving one of the best blowjobs you've given him.

when you pull your mouth away, you giggle as you pump his cock with your spit lubricating for better motion. his face screws together the faster you pump, and he can barely take the pleasure.

"hmm, i bet you wanna cum on my face... and tits. but, i want you to cum inside me." you say as you but your bottom lip, running your thumb over the cum leaking from his tip.

"me too, baby. fuck!" he grunts, and it makes you smile at how much of a mess he is too.

you rise from your knees, relieving the pressure on them before straddling him on his bed. you pull off your top, tossing it on the other side of the room as he quickly peels his shirt off as well. his big hands run up your body, over your breasts once more as his thumbs move against your nipples.

"god, i want to feel every inch of your cock... so, don't stop until you're finished." you tell him as you run his tip agaisnt your slit before slowly sinking down on him.

"babe, shit... fuck." he whimpered, his fingers pressing into your hips as you arch your back.

"god, im so tight." you moan, "your cock is so big... can barely fit you inside me." you huff, your eyes closed shut as you slowly move your hips.

soon, you meet a nice pace of bouncing on his cock and he loosens up as he watches you move up and down. his bright eyes keep moving between looking at your tits and your face, completely amazed by your beauty.

you run your hands over his toned chest and abdomen, leaving light scratches on his skin from the waves of pleasure coursing throughout your body.

"dave, im gonna cum. oh, oh! i'm gonna cum." you announced to him and he was holding off anyways, his jaw clenched his much that it was beginning to feel painful.

as you arch your back and let out a long whine, he stills his hips as his warm cum fills you up. it was the first time he was fully inside you, and you were aching around his cock, feeling it throbbing against your walls.

he leans up, leaving a soft kiss just above your breasts before you two share another kiss. you can't help but giggle, both of you feeling that sudden hit of exhaustion.

you lift yourself from your cock and cum runs down your slit, letting him see the mess he made. dave smirks, expecting him to say that he'll get you a towel but instead licks his lips and starts to lean down between your legs again.

it was like deja vu. his tongue presses against your swollen slit, tasting your mixed cum before sucking on your sore clit. now you're so sensitive to the touch, you could orgasm again at any moment. he was so in tune with your body that he knew what pace to go and how long you could actually lasts.

you run your hands over your breasts, his tongue moving so perfectly between your slit and clit. you feel his press a light kiss against the area above your pussy before trailing more kisses up your body. then, you two shared another kiss, tasting each other's tongues once more before he laid next to you.

"you know, i've never had a study partner like you." you jeered, pressed a kiss against the start of his jaw.

he blushed, "me neither..." he raised his eyebrows, "trust me."

[bethebesttoyou]

How to Get the Girl - Huening Kai

synopsis: self-proclaimed dating coach Y/N gets more than she bargained for when she takes Kai as a client.

pairing: Nerd!HueningKai x Mentor!Y/N

warning: as of now... just kai being hard on himself, self deprecating language, nerds and men are talked about a lot, OH fake dating... maybe smut in the future WHO KNOWS REALLY...

Wc: 3.0k

A/N: Hi. Im back. I actually feel really good about this one. Im already working on chapter 2 TEEHEE... Im trying to take this one slow so I can actually complete it. I also have been able to find time randomly to write, so updates might be here and there, but I have most of the storyline written out! I dont promise it'll be good, BUT I WILL FINISH. I HOPE.

Part 1 | Part 2 |

You swirled the straw in your drink, mixing the different color liquids together, the condensation relieving the lingering heat from your fingers. Outside of the small cafe, Spring could have been mistaken for summer, the heat visible from the black pavement, the amount of bare skin shown by strangers, carrying umbrellas to shield themselves from the strong sun rays that casted out this random Tuesday afternoon. Focusing on all this, made you less nervous. 

After years in this business, you'd think meeting clients would get easier, especially the more frequent it got, but no, the nerves still kicked in, your worrying thoughts taking over: What if he's a creep? What if he's on a mission to expose you? Worse…what if it was your mom, luring you out? Catching you in the act? 

Being a dating consultant was not necessarily accepted in the general public… In its very definition, you sold your time, your affection, your looks and you practically sold out your gender, letting men in on the most hidden wants and needs of the female population. You spend most of your time with lonely men, often showing them the way to a woman's heart, the expectations and boundaries they shouldn't cross. You often liked to think you were doing good by your peers, getting rid of the possibility of future douchebags, future incels, one flirty smile and critique at a time. 

It hadn't been the path you set out for. You hadn't even known it was an option. You were just a sophmore in college when you had offered dating tips in exchange for tutoring, being a broke college student, you couldn't necessarily offer money.You had been on academic probation for the entire year, and you desperately needed to catch up after mentally quitting for the past 2 semesters, trying to fall back in line with the rest of your peers. To add on to the stress, you had been out of a job, constantly freeloading off of grants and living off your best friend's couch. You had been surprised when he had accepted the trade offer, not necessarily catching just how desperate his eyes would follow the movements of his seatmate. 

 Dating tips started off as just that, where to take her, how to ask. It wasn't until you had a pretty personal conversation during a study break, when you realized that your sweet tutor needed more help than simple restaurant recommendations. You felt the need to actually spend hours teaching the mumbling Jisung basic self confidence and social cues. Taking him out to dinners, showing him principles of keeping a conversation going, showing him the fine line between sweet and flirty touches and phrases and obnoxious and gross actions. It felt pretty natural, he was already sweet and funny he just needed to get out of his head and by the end of it, Jisung had no longer hid behind his own shadow, even showing up to friend gatherings without you there, and eventually confessed his crush to the very same seatmate by the end of the semester. 

It was the excitement in his eyes, his shaky hands presenting the picture he took of her on their first date, the gratitude he showed, that made your heart swell with pride. It was like playing cupid, but focusing on the lacking side. It filled you with a sense of purpose and filled your life with romance, two things you had been lacking that year, and when it was close to the end, when Jisung seemed to take the reins on his own dating life, it felt kind of bittersweet. Nonetheless, you planned to move on, keep pushing forward and get an actual job when Jisung knocked on your door one night, a small comfortable smile, and a tall boy behind him making himself look smaller than he actually was, avoiding any eye contact with you. 

“He needs your help.” 

It wasn't monetary for the first few friends Jisung brought over, but once success just kept rolling around, and friends turned into strangers that overheard hushed conversations, you had a business in your hands. 

It was what brought you here, in this small cafe, on the other side of the city, waiting patiently for your new subject, looking out for the common trait of slumped shoulders of a young man. You often had the guys send in a picture of themselves, along with basic information: age and location, phone number, background check, a brief summary of what they needed help with, their budget, etc.  You would reject those that refused the picture portion of the form or the ones that were reluctant to share information about themselves in the spirit of safety. Having a few scary situations, it was best to no longer try your luck with those, and this form specifically was directed its way the bin when you caught a glimpse of the ‘additional comments’ section. 

I want to win her heart, in any way I can. I can't do that by being me.

You sigh, before handing back the printed out form to your best friend and assistant Yunjin. Her puppy eyes pleading with you.

“There's no picture, Yunjin.” 

“But he passed the background check! And he gave all the information we needed, in grave detail! And he…he just seems so sad.” 

“He reminds me of Jisung…” Yunjin adds, when you don't respond. 

“Fine. Send the email, but I'm taking your boyfriend as a bodyguard.” 

You turn back to the booth that held the clingy couple, watching them so lost within their intimate touches that they had lost the reason they were even there. You could have been in trouble by now and they wouldn't even notice. You roll your eyes before turning back to the glass door. In its frame stood a tall man, baggy clothes reaching for the door and then hesitantly pulling back. You watched as the nervous figure walked away from the door, before coming back and walking away again. You observe him for a minute, taking him in. He wasn't bad looking, at all. His hair was shiny and black and long, nearly reaching his shoulders, strands partially covering his face, you would only notice his coffee colored eyes were there because of the black frames that laid upon them. His pale smooth skin and bubblegum lips contradicted all of this, seemingly the only color he displayed. 

You decide it's enough watching when you see him scratch his head in desperation. You make your way towards the door, straightening the bottom of your shirt, and when you push the door in he's already looking up from the last step of the small set of stairs. He seems to be frozen and you're glad there's no one he's blocking from the entrance. 

“Huening Kai?” you ask, watching him unfreeze and move his mouth as if he's trying to respond but nothing is coming out. It takes a bit of resistance to hold in the laugh. 

“Are you coming in?” You ask again, to which he only clears his throat and just nods. 

Once back in with him following behind, he sits across from you, his hands in between his knees, his posture stood uncomfortably straight and his eyes avoiding your stare. You often give the guys a moment, understanding that the level of communication is commonly low, and he might need a moment to make some type of effort to start the conversation, when he doesnt, you take the lead. 

“Can I order you anything to drink? Before we start?” 

“I-I thought w-we already s-started…” He whispered. 

“Oh no! Our first meeting is just to go over certain policies and rules, and getting to know one another! You can relax… I won't pounce just yet!” 

“P-Pounce?” His eyes widen, none of your words seem to calm him down. 

“Well…not like pounce…more like um…well you know what I mean! A drink?” 

“I-i'll just have water…” 

After the drinks arrive at your table, you decide that the awkwardness has settled down long enough. If you want to make any subtle progress in this business relationship and gain his trust, you have to bring him out of his shell. 

“Okay!” you smile and clap your hands, loud enough to garner the attention of some of the tables around you, and he looks around in a panic,"Tell me a bit about yourself!” You look at him with an expectant smile. You felt relieved he wasn't anything horrible you were expecting, able to fall into the same routine. You expected him, just like the rest, to be uncomfortable, that was normal. You didn't expect this to be easy, you took precautions to make this a bit easier. Dress down, easy on the makeup, things that wouldn't feel too intimidating, not yet at least.

“I-I like music…”

“Hmm.. what kind?” 

“A-All kinds, really!” his voice raised, before going back to a mumble,”um what about you?” You smile, feeling the effort. 

“I dont listen to music much…” 

“What.” He says after a beat of silence. 

“Hmm? Oh! no yeah, i don't listen to music much, I mean not enough to have a favorite genre or something… I usually let the radio do its thing…” You shrug, reaching into your bag to bring out the forms. You don't necessarily notice the confusion on Kai's face, at least not until you sit up. 

“I-I've never heard someone say that…” 

“Hmmm…well…There's a lot of things about to be said that you probably never heard anyone say…” You laugh and watch as his seemingly permanent pink cheeks grow a darker shade. 

“Let's go over some of the ground rules, just to get those out of the way…yeah?” You try to find his eyes under his long bangs, trying to officially make eye contact, but instead he takes the time to look around again, not really answering you. He seemed embarrassed, constantly checking if someone was listening in, and again, all of this was common, yet his pained eyes tugged a string. 

“HueningKai…I understand these certain feelings can be a bit difficult to deal with, asking for assistance is never easy. I want you to know that this is, in no way, a sign that you lack something. I'm here to merely emphasize your traits, and teach you how to use them to be able to evolve…romantically. I'm here to be a stepping stool…nothing more. But in order for this to work, we have to both want to be here right? We both have to trust each other, that's the foundation of a business relationship…any relationship really… I need you to trust me, no one is listening in right now, I can promise you that. If there's any doubt or regret for setting up this meeting, I completely understand. Do not hesitate to stop this at any moment…even now. So be honest…do you want to continue?”

It was like something finally clicked, when he finally looked you in the eyes, and it was like his coffee eyes were given cream, the way a thin layer of shield melted away, his eyes softer now…a bit sweeter. Progress.

“C-call me Kai…J-Just Kai.” You smile again, and he seems relieved. 

“Okay. Just Kai.” You tease softly, before finally putting the packet of forms in front of him.

“First rule. No kissing.” you say, not noticing Kai taking a sip of his water until he chokes. 

“Oops…sorry~ But yes. No kissing. Touching is…okay, basic forms of PDA will be discussed between us the next time we meet, what we are comfortable with, our boundaries, but anything that can lead to sexual tension is better left in the vault…agreed?” 

“I-I, yes, okay.” He says, still recovering, clearing his throat. 

“Next, this…” You motion between you both and the form, “stays between us. Always. I vow to never disclose our agreement to other people, you must do the same. We will be using the real world as our practice ground, if anyone asks, I'm really your date, not girlfriend” You emphasize, “Date. We never disclose this to anyone, for the sake of your dignity and my business…” 

He nods. 

“No, say it.” He looks up from the form, gulps and repeats, 

“I,uh,vow to never disclose our agreement. To anyone…ever.” 

“Great! Rule three…this one is pretty easy, I can call it quits at any time. So can you. If at any point, you no longer wish to continue, I'm gone. If at any time I no longer feel comfortable with our agreement, I'm gone.” 

He nods again. 

“Last but not least, please… I cannot stress this enough…Please don't fall in love with me.” 

It’s the first time you see him crack a smile, scoffing. It only disappears when he sees your stale smile. 

“What’s funny? You don't know how many times these things have gone sideways, because men mistake help for feelings. Think of me as more of…mentor, a guide. Everything we do here is fictional, made up, lesson plans I've created, don't mistake it for the real thing. Some of the men I've helped ended up with no one, cause they decided to focus on the wrong girl, I'm warning you now.”

“T-that's fair.” 

“Okay! Great! Yay!” You switch your smile back on, and he's looking at you incredulously, but you only continue, “let’s get into the subject of our meetings… I went over your form and, theres a girl right?” 

“U-um y-yes…Saeri.” He mumbles, but the way he resists the smile that threatens to form on his lips when he says her name, reveals a lot more. 

“Saeri…Thats a pretty name. Tell me about her.” 

“She’s a childhood friend, w-we grew up together until we separated for college…we still talk sometimes but, um, she always talks about meeting the perfect guy, someone that can appreciate her and love her, with no conditions…” He pushes his glasses up, and you can see the frown on his face, deep in thought, “but she's never noticed me. I can do it, but shes always dated cool guys, popular guys. I want to show her, I can be that and more. I want her to notice me.” 

“Hmm… Have you ever thought of telling her how you feel?”

“O-Of course I have! Its all I think about…but I don't feel like enough for her yet… I want to be the perfect man of her dreams, I can’t do that if I'm still me.”

“That could only mean losing yourself in the process, no?” 

Hee thinks about it for a moment. 

“I-I dont mind. Not for her.” 

You nod slowly, processing it all. 

“Well, maybe, we can do both. Maybe you can still be you and the man of her dreams…who knows maybe you were everything she’s been looking for, she’s just been looking elsewhere…”

“Doubt it. Im not really her type. I want to be everything shes asked for and more…there has to be a reason why this personality has never worked for me.” 

It was also this portion of the conversations that made you feel a little sad, but you understood, like Kai and like most of your clients, love took effort, and risks and sacrifices, love took a lot. 

“Okay. We can do it! I believe in us! I do have a question though…we asked for your budget an-” 

“Money isnt a problem.” he says quickly, waving his hands, “Whatever I need to buy, or however much I need to pay you, I-I can afford it!” 

“Oh! Okay! Well great! I'll have you sign here! You can keep that copy, it also has the planned dates and lessons we're going to be having these next couple of weeks. I also have a wardrobe change planned next. Text me your availability and we will go from there! We’ll also have a shared google calendar for that…” 

“Next week! I-Im free next week…around this time” 

“Okay! Next tuesday at this time it is! I'll text you the address of where we’ll meet. Hmm… what else…Any questions?” 

“How long have you been doing this for?” he asks after some silence, watching you fish your bag for a pen. The question made you stop and think. 

“Hmm..3 years now?” 

“W-why do you do it?” 

He's watching you now, the look of pure curiosity in his eyes makes you feel smaller. It wasn't like he was the first guy to ask you, but something about his stare felt suddenly intimidating, it felt like it was trying to strip the shielding layer you hid under, trying to pry out the truth. You hadn't thought about a genuine answer. Before you can stutter out a response, you feel a hand on your shoulder, to find Yunjin has reached the table. 

“Hi. Don't mean to interrupt,” She says, mainly to Kai, his crimson face freezes, “but we have to go…we have that study group…” she whispers to you.

“Oh crap right…Kai! This is Yunjin, my assistant. When we spoke about rule 2, she's excluded from that, as she's the one that goes through the list of emails.” 

“Oh yeah dude. We go through like a hundred a day, don't be embarrassed” 

“Shut. up.” You elbow the standing figure. Kai only smiles bashfully, his glasses fogging from the heat radiating from his face. 

“Well…I’ll see you next week! Dress comfortably but still presentable. It'll give me a peek into what we're working with…We’ll still be getting to know each other, so I would go over the forms again and maybe see if any questions come up, maybe any rules you would like to have for me...” He stands once you stand, his hands nervously rub his pants smooth. You barely notice his hand reaching out for yours, staring at his towering figure. You forgot how tall he was, his stature catching you off guard, only coming back when you feel Yunjin nudge your hand. 

You grab his hand, trying to firmly shake it, but his clammy one only makes yours disappear. 

“It was nice to meet you, Kai. Can't wait to work with you.” you smile up at him, and he smiles softly. 

“T-thank you for your help…”

A/N: okay...so what do we think? Kai gets out of his stutter, he's just really nervous around girls... He's also a lover boy... ANYWHO tell me what you think!!! tell me you love it, hate it, cringed at it, IDK anything I would love to hear about it :3.

[pha55ed]

Touch | F1/F2 (kimi bday celly!)

type :: fluff tw/cw :: gn!reader for all, one gendered-term for carlos contains :: kimi!, oscar, carlos request :: heyy! can you do touch by katseye for carlos, oscar and kimi? or choose whatever 2 other drivers u want if you dont feel like writing for these, im mainly requesting for kimi lol. im really excited to read the new stuff, love ur writing 💕 (yes ofcc!! i love carlos and oscar sm <33 and thank you!! ur so sweet :D ) link to kimi bday celly!

Kimi Antonelli | 04

Getting a crush wasn't on Kimi's 2024 bingo, instead it was on the list of the things that he didn't want. Focussing on racing has been what he's done all his life, he's barely had breaks or time to himself - so how the well would be able to have a girlfriend? He knew logically that a relationship would never work, and yet he couldn't stop the way his heart beat got faster around you.

As you came to the paddock once again, he wanted to scream. It was a internal fight that he could never win. On one hand, he was estatic to have you here to help cheer him on and watch him. It was going to push him 10 times harder to be better, to make sure to impress you. But on another hand, he was screaming because how he was shitting his pants and thinking of every bad outcome possible.

What if he crashes in the first minute and has to retire? What if he loses miserably and doesn't even have an excuse for why he sucked so bad that day? What if a different driver sees you and realizes how cute you are and tries to flirt with you, he's especially worried about Paul or Ollie finding you - he knew those two could pull anyone if they wanted.

He did his best to focus on the race, pulling off P7, not awful but not amazing. And god was he nervous, his hands were sweaty and forehead glossy from nerves. Before he could allow you to see him, he needed to freshen up in some way.

Rushing to his drivers room, trying his best to avoid anyone and everything so he can see you quickly. But when he walks into his drivers room, he's met with you looking at him whilst holding a little bouquet of flowers.

Suddenly his senses were all heightened. He could smell his sweat from his armpits, has he always smelt this bad? He could feel how loose his racing suit was on him, did he look too baggy? His breathing was still raggedy from racing, oh my gosh did his staggered breathing make him seem unfit?

And even worse, why did you look so perfect to him? God he hates this. It was like his entire plan for his future was crumbling all because some stupid person walked in and made his stomach flip. He was stuck there, frozen, staring at you with his mouth slightly open as he does his best to think of anything at all.

You confuse his silence with him not wanting you there, which even he didn't know if he wanted you in there or not. So you hand him the flowers, congratulating him on his placement as you left.

Long story short: he's awful with crushes. You WILL be the death of him.

Oscar Piastri | 81

Being nonchalant is basically his entire brand. That's why so many people freak out when they see him laugh or giggle, he's known as the next "Kimi Raikkonen" for a reason. So, when you begin to come to more races since you're the daughter of one of the head engineers at Mclaren, everyone notices how different Oscar is around you.

He usually just stands there,,, awkwardly,,, as if he's a Sim waiting for a command. But with you, he's suddenly fiddling with everything, doing his best to make sure he looks good. He constantly pushes his hair back, clearing his throat, making sure his shoulders are rolled back, you swear you even saw him MEW whilst you were busy talking...

This crush is noticed by everyone, the engineers, mechanics, lando, and even you. But there's one person who doesn't know: and that's Oscar himself. Somehow, he's fully gaslit himself into believing he's just nervous around you for other reasons.

He only pulls out your chair when you come to the group dinners because he's a gentleman. He keeps fixing his hair around you since it's windy, even if you're talking indoors. He can't stop staring at you because you stick out since you're the only girl in the Mclaren garage,,, even if you're not the only girl,,, there are like 10 other women who work in Mclaren.

But one day, Lando and Oscar are eating breakfast together before their free practice. That's when Lando boldly asks, "So have you made a move yet on (Y/N)?" Oscar replies with no, scoffing at his question as if Lando was asking something stupid. Lando has a small smirk from Oscar's reply. "So, can I shoot my shot?"

Instantly Oscar is confused, obviously no! But he's not sure why he wants to say no to Lando's desire to ask you out. Oscar literally tries to find every single reason as to why he doesn't want Lando to date you, even going as far to think he's possibly gay for Lando. He rules that out quickly though and connects the dots, he can't deny them anymore: he likes you.

From that point on, Oscar is an even bigger mess than he already is around you. He's already nervous, but now you swear you can see the buckets, yes plural, of sweat that he's making from even being in the same room as you. You know he likes you, everyone in the paddock as already told you, even Toto Wolff joined in,,, why is this grown man in some young adult romance...

Please, please, please, just confess your feelings to Oscar. He most likely won't get the guts to even THINK of asking you out for at least 4 months. And then he has to plan how he's gonna ask you out for another 2 months. And then he has to gather the courage to ask you out for another 4 months. And then... you get the point.

Carlos Sainz | 55

Unlike the other two, Carlos is older and more experienced than them. But of course, he's still going to be a tad bit flustered when it comes to you. You're one of the new videographers for Drive to Survive. All videographers were assigned a driver to film, and you got Carlos. Which you were grateful for since he's always super respectful and also very easy to film, since he looks good in every angle.

Carlos usually hated being filmed for Drive to Survive, he thought they were super annoying. But he couldn't bring himself to dislike you, even when you accidentally hit him with your huge camera - he still found you so endearing. He couldn't help but try to shoot his shot at you.

Every time you came to film him, he made sure to drop not-so-subtle hints that he liked you. Like saying, "maybe I should film you, you're much more beautiful" which you obviously reply by saying how handsome Carlos is - which makes him smirk. You fell for his trap of calling him beautiful, but was it really a trap if you've been thinking it from the very first day?

Or how you always have to remind him to look into the camera when speaking, because his dark brown puppy eyes can't help but stare at you instead. Or when you almost trip since the camera gear is so heavy and Carlos catches you, saving you almost $10,000 in damages. Or when you went to the bathroom, leaving your camera on the table only to be met with a camera shoved in your face that was controlled by Carlos, to which he laughed and repeated yet again, "you're stunning".

As you two get to know each other more and more, he becomes much more forward with his flirting. Greeting you with an air-kiss, brushing your hair behind your ears, and even buying you multiple bouquets of flowers. You couldn't help but blush at all of his actions, but you knew you needed to stay professional still to avoid getting fired. Carlos knew that too, he would never want his favorite camera-woman to get fired.

So it's a constant tug of flirting with you and you being bashful in return. It's a painfully long wait till the season end so that Carlos can finally ask you out on a date, since there's no longer a contract forbidding you two.

[amethystarachnid]

hey, could i request the secret admirer trope with mcu peter parker from love is in the air? it would be great if the reader was a female avenger (in a world where no one dies and everyone lives together). i just know that peter would be soo cute as a secret admirer; so could you write into the story him being super paranoid when leaving gifts and little notes at y/n’s door and always being the sweetest? oh and also thinking he’s super slick and all that but y/n actually knows it’s him leaving the gifts and stuff (she checked the security camera footage after the second one) but peter absolutely CANNOT take a hint so she decides to mess with him a little and convinces another avenger (maybe sam?) to act like her boyfriend to make peter jealous because she thinks it’s a little funny (:() but he only gets sad and barely leaves his room and no one knows why (except y/n) so she comes clean after the second day (i seem to have an obsession with the number 2) and kisses him after she comes to see him while he’s moping in his room. i should stop rambling i really hope this isn’t too long and im excited to read what you write! thanks!

(NOT SO) SECRET ADMIRER

⤷ PETER PARKER

ᯓ★ Pairing: Peter Parker x fem!reader

ᯓ★ Genre: romance, some angst and some fluff

ᯓ★ Requests status: open (only by asks)

ᯓ★ Story type: one shot

ᯓ★ Word count: 6.1k

ᯓ★ Summary: what the ask said and !! important!! both Peter and reader here are twenty-something

ᯓ★ TW(s): nothing i think

ᯓ★ I'm backkk! and I hope to have more free time to write for you guys! <3 also I'm working on a Bucky Barnes x fem!demigod!OC (demigod because yes I said so) so let me know if you would be interested <3

ᯓ★ Love is in the air - Valentine's Day special game

ᯓ★ My Masterlist

ᯓ★ MARVEL Holiday Special

ᯓ★ MARVEL Multiverse - choose an AU, pair it with your favorite character and make a request!

ᯓ★ Songs & Superheroes tales - The Game (to make a request, follow the rules on the link!)

ᯓ★ MARVEL Bingo

ᯓ★ English isn’t my first language

Moving into the Avengers Compound is overwhelming in ways you don’t expect. The high-tech security, the endless hallways, the casual presence of literal superheroes—it’s a lot to take in. You’re used to SHIELD facilities, where everything is sleek and professional, where people nod in acknowledgment but don’t stop to chat. The compound is different. It’s still high-tech, still crawling with some of the most skilled fighters on the planet, but it feels… warmer. Like a home, rather than a base.

It helps that the team is welcoming. Sam and Bucky tease you like an annoying pair of older brothers. Wanda is quick to pull you into conversations, treating you like you’ve always been part of the team. Even Tony, in his own sarcastic way, seems to have accepted you.

Then there’s Peter Parker.

Peter is unlike anyone you’ve worked with before. He’s clumsy but quick, brilliant but self-deprecating, always talking like his thoughts are moving faster than his mouth. He’s a dork, really, but in an endearing way. He’s also ridiculously powerful—not that he acts like it. If you hadn’t seen him in action, you’d never guess the guy who constantly fumbles with his web-shooters is the same Spider-Man who’s taken down entire teams of bad guys on his own.

You notice, almost immediately, that he’s nervous around you. The stammering, the way his face flushes whenever you look at him too long, the way he trips over his own feet when you’re in the same room—it’s impossible to miss. It’s cute.

And then, the gifts start showing up.

The first one appears a week after you move in. You find it on your way back to your room late at night—a slightly crumpled bouquet of daisies, placed neatly in front of your door with a small note.

Welcome to the team! Hope you like these. :)

No name. Just a simple message and a cute little smiley face.

You smile, crouching down to pick up the flowers. They aren’t professionally arranged—some of the stems are uneven, and a few petals look a little worse for wear—but there’s something undeniably sweet about them. Someone went out of their way to welcome you, and you have a pretty good guess who.

Still, you don’t say anything. You don’t want to assume. Maybe it’s Wanda. Maybe it’s Sam messing with you.

Then, three days later, another gift appears. A small bag of your favorite candy, along with another note.

Saw you training today. You’re incredible. Hope this makes your night better!

Again, no name. But the handwriting is the same.

That’s when your curiosity gets the better of you.

You’re trained to notice patterns, to pick up on the details most people overlook. And you’re trained to investigate. So, you do what any ex-SHIELD agent would—you check the security footage.

It doesn’t take long to find what you’re looking for. You scroll back to the timestamp from the night before, eyes scanning the grainy hallway footage. Then, right on schedule, someone drops into view.

Peter Parker.

You watch as he crouches in front of your door, carefully placing the candy down like it might explode. His movements are quick but nervous—he keeps glancing up and down the hallway like he expects someone to catch him. Then he pulls out the note, smooths it down three times, mutters something under his breath, and web-slings to the ceiling.

You replay the footage, laughing to yourself.

Of course, it’s Peter.

The pieces click together so perfectly you can’t believe you didn’t realize it earlier. The awkwardness, the way he lights up when you talk to him, the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention. He has a crush on you.

And now, you know.

But you don’t tell him. Because, honestly? It’s adorable. And if Peter wants to keep thinking he’s being sneaky, you’re more than happy to let him.

Since then, the gifts keep coming.

Every few days, something new appears at your door. Sometimes, it’s snacks after a long mission. Other times, little trinkets—stickers, keychains, a tiny plush cat because you mentioned once that you like them. And always, always a note.

You start having fun with it.

You drop hints, teasing him just enough to see if he reacts. You compliment his intelligence, lean in close when you’re standing next to him, smile a little longer than necessary. You even start leaving notes of your own—nothing direct, just little things you know will fluster him.

Nice work in training today, Peter. Maybe next time, you’ll actually land a hit on me. ;)

He reads it while you’re in the same room, and his face turns so red you think he might combust.

It’s perfect.

But somehow, despite all your efforts, he remains completely oblivious.

Tonight, you’re determined to push him just a little further.

It’s late, and most of the team has already gone to bed. You’re in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, sipping tea when Peter walks in. His hair is messy like he’s been running his hands through it, and he’s wearing a hoodie that’s at least two sizes too big.

“Oh,” he says, stopping in his tracks. “Hey!”

You smile. “Hey, Peter.”

He shifts awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Didn’t think anyone else was up.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” you say. “What about you?”

“Uh, same,” he says, though you suspect he was probably sneaking around to drop off another gift.

You decide to test him. “I found something outside my door again.”

Peter stiffens. “Oh?”

You tilt your head. “Yeah. It’s kind of weird, though. It’s like… I keep getting these little gifts. And notes. No idea who they’re from.”

He swallows hard. “That’s—uh—crazy.”

You nod. “Right? I mean, it’s sweet. Really sweet. But I wonder who’s doing it.”

He lets out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, um, no clue. Could be anyone.”

You step closer, just enough to make him notice. “You think so?”

His eyes dart to your face, then away again. “Y-yeah! I mean, maybe it’s, like, a team thing? Or—uh—someone trying to make you feel welcome?”

You hum, pretending to consider it. “Maybe. But it’s funny… they always seem to know exactly what I like.”

Peter practically short-circuits. “That’s—uh—wild.”

You bite back a grin. He’s so obvious it hurts.

“Well,” you say, leaning against the counter beside him, “whoever it is, I kind of wish they’d just talk to me.”

Peter blinks. “Oh?”

You nod, watching him carefully. “Yeah. I mean, sneaking around is cute and all, but I’d really like to get to know them.”

For a second, you think maybe—maybe—he’ll take the hint. But then, he just lets out a choked laugh and says, “Yeah! Totally! That would be—uh—cool!”

You sigh internally.

Peter Parker is the worst secret admirer in the world.

But he’s also the sweetest.

So, you’ll wait. You’ll keep playing along, keep flirting, keep dropping hints. And maybe—eventually—he’ll realize you like him too.

Peter Parker is a genius.

He built his web-shooters from scraps, made it through MIT’s entrance exams before graduating high school, and helps Tony Stark with tech that makes most people’s heads spin.

And yet, for all his intelligence, he’s completely, hopelessly, unbelievably clueless.

You keep flirting with him, testing the waters, pushing the line between teasing and something a little more. Sometimes, it’s subtle—a hand on his arm when you laugh, leaning a little too close when you talk. Other times, it’s… less subtle.

Like the time you stretch in the training room, arching your back just enough to make him flustered, only to watch in delight as Peter—mid push-up—faceplants directly onto the mat. Or the time you “accidentally” call him handsome in front of the team, and he spends the next five minutes sputtering like a broken car engine while everyone watches in confusion.

At this point, it’s a personal challenge.

You want to see how far you can push him before he finally realizes you’re into him. And if he doesn’t? Well. You’re having way too much fun watching him suffer.

The best part is that no one else seems to notice. Everyone assumes Peter is just awkward (which, to be fair, he is), and you’re just being friendly (which, to be fair, you are—just with extra flirting).

At least, that’s what you think.

Until Sam Wilson calls you out.

It happens in the common room. You’re lounging on the couch after a morning mission, scrolling through your phone, when Sam plops down beside you with a knowing smirk.

“So,” he says casually, “you gonna tell me why you’ve been messing with Parker?”

You blink. “Excuse me?”

“Come on,” Sam drawls. “You’ve been flirting with that boy so hard I’m surprised he hasn’t passed out yet.”

You fight back a laugh. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Then explain why he turns redder than Wanda’s magic every time you walk into the room.”

You shrug. “Maybe he’s just allergic to me.”

Sam snorts. “Nah, he’s just allergic to rizz.”

You burst out laughing. “Oh my god, Sam.”

“Hey, I’m just saying.” He leans back, crossing his arms. “Kid’s got it bad for you, and you know it.”

You sigh dramatically. “Yeah. But he has no idea I know.”

Sam squints at you. “Wait. He doesn’t know you know?”

“Nope.”

“…And he doesn’t know that you know that he doesn’t know you know?”

You blink. “What?”

“Never mind.” Sam shakes his head. “So, what’s the deal? You just enjoying the slow burn? Or are you waiting for him to finally grow a pair and ask you out?”

You grin. “A little of both.”

Sam lets out a low whistle. “Damn. That’s evil.”

“Not evil,” you correct. “Just… patient.”

Sam gives you a look. “Right. And I’m Captain America.”

You smirk. “You wish.”

He grins, then tilts his head, clearly considering something. “You want me to help?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Help how?”

Sam stretches his arms behind his head. “I could drop some hints. Get in his head a little.”

You hum, pretending to think about it. “Tempting.”

“Oh, come on,” Sam nudges you. “You know you want to see him suffer.”

That makes you laugh. “Fine. But don’t be too mean.”

“No promises,” Sam says, already grinning like he’s planning something dangerous.

You don’t know exactly what he’s going to do, but you do know one thing—Peter Parker doesn’t stand a chance.

It starts at breakfast.

Peter is sitting at the table, eating a massive bowl of cereal, when Sam slides into the seat across from him.

“What’s up, Parker?”

Peter blinks, mouth full. “Mmf?”

Sam smirks. “You know, I’ve been noticing something lately.”

Peter swallows, already looking nervous. “Noticing what?”

Sam leans forward. “You and Y/N.”

Peter chokes on his cereal.

“I—what?” he sputters, coughing.

“You and Y/N,” Sam repeats, smirking. “Something going on there?”

Peter turns so red you’re afraid he might actually explode. “N-no! I mean—uh—why? Did she say something?”

Sam pretends to think. “Hmm. Can’t say. But, you know, she does talk about you a lot.”

Peter’s eyes widen. “She does?”

“Oh yeah,” Sam says. “Like, the other day, she was saying how much she loves a guy who’s smart. Thought that was interesting.”

Peter makes a strangled sound. “She—she did?”

Sam nods. “And then she said something about how she likes guys who are good with their hands.”

Peter immediately drops his spoon. “WHAT?”

Sam shrugs. “I dunno, man. Just something to think about.”

Peter looks like he’s about to faint.

You, watching from across the room, nearly lose it.

For the next week, Sam continues his psychological warfare.

One morning, while you’re stretching before training, Sam casually mentions, “Hey, Parker, did you know Y/N thinks your arms are nice?”

Peter nearly drops the dumbbell he’s holding.

Then, during a mission briefing, Sam leans over and says, “You know, Y/N was just telling me how much she loves guys who can fight.”

Peter immediately starts sweating.

But the final straw comes during movie night. The team is gathered in the common room, popcorn bowls scattered across the couches, when Sam—loudly, for the whole room to hear—says, “Hey, Parker, Y/N said she likes guys who can take charge. What do you think that means?”

Peter, in the middle of drinking his soda, chokes so violently that Tony has to pat him on the back.

You’re dying.

Sam is clearly having the time of his life. Every time Peter panics, he shoots you a smug look, and you have to fight to keep a straight face.

Peter, meanwhile, is suffering.

And the best part? He still doesn’t get it.

Still doesn’t realize you’re into him.

At this point, you’re genuinely starting to think he might never figure it out.

But you’re patient.

So, you wait. You flirt. You tease. And you watch as Peter Parker, one of the smartest people you know, continues to be the most oblivious person on the planet.

At first, Peter’s obliviousness is adorable. It’s fun watching him squirm, fun seeing him turn bright red whenever you so much as look at him a little too long. But now? Now it’s getting annoying.

You’ve been dropping hints for weeks. You’ve been touching his arm, leaning in close, giving him every possible signal short of straight-up kissing him. And what does he do? He stammers. He trips over his own feet. He gets so flustered that he either short-circuits completely or runs away like a scared puppy.

It’s maddening.

You’re starting to wonder if you’re doing something wrong. Maybe you’re not being obvious enough. Maybe Peter just doesn’t think you could actually like him. Which is ridiculous, because if anyone in this compound paid half as much attention to him as you did, they’d see exactly why you liked him. He’s smart, he’s kind, he’s funny, and he’s got this dorky charm that somehow makes your heart race in ways it absolutely shouldn’t.

But none of that matters if he doesn’t get the damn hint.

So, you decide to kick things up a notch.

You start small. The next time you see Peter in the gym, you make sure to stretch right in front of him. It’s a bold move, but you’re desperate. You slowly lift your arms above your head, arching your back just enough to be noticeable. Then, when you bend down to touch your toes, you peek up to see if he’s watching.

He is.

And then he immediately panics and turns away so fast he nearly walks into the weight rack.

You barely hold back an eye roll.

Fine. If that didn’t work, maybe something else will.

Later that day, you find him in the lab, tinkering with his web-shooters. You walk in, pretending like you don’t have an agenda, and lean against the table. He looks up, startled, then immediately averts his gaze.

“Oh, hey, Y/N,” he says, voice slightly higher than usual. “What’s up?”

You tilt your head, resting a hand under your chin. “Nothing much. Just needed a distraction.”

Peter nods, focusing way too hard on his web-fluid cartridge. “Yeah? Um. Cool. What—uh—what kind of distraction?”

You smirk. “Oh, you know. Something fun.”

Peter’s hand slips, and a small burst of web-fluid sprays onto the table. He stares at it like it personally betrayed him.

You grin, stepping closer, casually placing a hand on his shoulder. “You’re so tense, Peter. You ever think about taking a break?”

He lets out the fakest laugh you’ve ever heard. “Me? Oh, no, I’m—I’m good! Totally fine! Not tense at all!”

You squeeze his shoulder lightly. “Really? Because you feel tense.”

Peter swallows so hard you can see his Adam’s apple bob. “I—uh—”

You drag your fingers down his arm slowly. “Maybe you just need someone to help you relax.”

Peter makes a noise that is definitely not human and abruptly stands up so fast his chair nearly topples over. “I-I should really finish this!” he blurts out. “So much work to do! Web-fluid doesn’t improve itself! Haha!”

You blink as he practically throws himself back into his project, acting like you didn’t just borderline seduce him in the middle of the lab.

It’s unbelievable.

How is it possible for someone to be this dense?

You sigh, finally stepping back. “Alright, Parker. Have fun with your webs.”

“Y-you too!” he stammers. Then, realizing that makes no sense, he adds, “I mean—uh—have fun with whatever you’re doing! Yep!”

You walk out, shaking your head.

This is getting ridiculous.

That night, you call for reinforcements.

Sam lounges on your bed, arms crossed behind his head, looking entirely too smug. “So. Parker still being an idiot?”

You flop onto the bed beside him. “He’s impossible.”

Sam chuckles. “Told you.”

“I don’t get it,” you groan. “I’ve been all over him. I’ve flirted, I’ve touched him, I’ve literally told him I think he’s cute, and he still doesn’t get it.”

Sam snorts. “Man, that boy is a lost cause.”

“There has to be a way to make him realize,” you say, frustrated.

Sam hums, thinking. Then he smirks. “Have you tried making him jealous?”

You pause. “Jealous?”

“Yeah,” Sam says. “You know. Flirt with someone else. See if that gets his brain to finally start working.”

It’s not a bad idea.

You sit up, considering it. “You think that’ll work?”

“Oh, definitely.” Sam grins. “Peter’s the kind of guy who doesn’t realize what he wants until he thinks he’s about to lose it.”

You tap your fingers against your thigh, mulling it over. It’s risky. But at this point, you’re willing to try anything.

“Alright,” you say. “Let’s do it.”

The plan is simple. The next day, you start subtly flirting with other people. Nothing crazy, just enough to test Peter’s reaction. You laugh a little too hard at Bucky’s jokes, compliment Steve’s biceps during training, even lean in close when talking to Sam just to see if Peter notices.

He does.

And he looks like he’s about to self-destruct.

The first time you flirt with Bucky, Peter nearly drops the coffee he’s holding. The second time you casually touch Steve’s arm, he stares like he’s witnessing a national tragedy. And when you get extra close to Sam at dinner, Peter’s entire body goes rigid like he’s about to short-circuit.

It’s hilarious.

But it’s also not working fast enough.

So, you take it a step further.

That night, when you run into Peter in the hallway, you lean against the wall, looking at him through your lashes. “You okay, Peter? You’ve been acting weird.”

Peter stiffens. “Me? No! I mean—yes! I mean—I’m totally fine! Why do you ask?”

You tilt your head. “I don’t know. You just seem… distracted.”

Peter laughs nervously. “Nope! Totally focused!”

You step closer. “Are you sure?”

Peter swallows. “Y-yeah! Why wouldn’t I be?”

You smile, slow and deliberate. “Well, I’ve just been spending a lot of time with other people lately. Thought maybe that was bothering you.”

Peter’s eyes widen. “Wh—why would that bother me?”

You shrug, trailing a finger along his arm. “I don’t know. Just wondering if maybe you wanted me to spend more time with you instead.”

Peter makes a strangled noise.

Then, just when you think he might finally get it, he blurts out, “I—uh—oh wow, look at the time! I gotta go!”

And then he runs.

Again.

You stand there, stunned, watching as he practically sprints down the hallway like his life depends on it.

You groan, dragging a hand down your face.

Unbelievable.

At this point, you have no idea what else you can do. You’ve flirted, teased, touched, complimented—hell, you’ve practically thrown yourself at him, and he’s still too dense to see it.

Maybe it’s time to just give up.

But then again…

You smirk.

Maybe it’s time to try something even bolder.

This is war.

You have tried everything. Flirting, teasing, touching, straight-up telling Peter you think he’s cute—it’s all been useless. The boy is either the densest human being on the planet, or he truly believes you could never be into him. Either way, you’re at your breaking point.

So, you decide to take Sam’s advice.

You’re going to make Peter jealous.

And not just by flirting with other people. That clearly hasn’t worked. No, you’re going for the nuclear option. If he won’t get a clue after everything you’ve done, then maybe—just maybe—he’ll realize he likes you if he thinks he’s already lost you.

Which is why you’re sitting on Sam’s bed, grinning while he stares at you like you’ve lost your mind.

“You want me to what?”

“Pretend to be my boyfriend,” you say, voice casual.

Sam blinks. “Oh, hell no.”

“Oh, come on,” you groan, nudging him. “It’s not like I’m asking you to marry me. Just a little act to make Peter jealous. You’re the one who suggested it in the first place.”

“I said flirt with other people,” Sam says, raising an eyebrow. “Not start a fake relationship.”

“Please, Sam,” you whine, clasping your hands together. “You’re the only one I trust to do this. And admit it, you think it’ll be hilarious.”

Sam considers this for a moment, then sighs. “Okay, yeah, it will be funny.”

You grin. “So, you’re in?”

He gives you a look. “This is gonna end in disaster, isn’t it?”

“Probably,” you say. “But it’ll be fun.”

Sam groans, rubbing his temples. “Fine. But if this backfires, you owe me big time.”

“Deal.”

And just like that, the plan is in motion.

The next morning, it begins.

You start by holding Sam’s hand at breakfast. It’s subtle, casual, like it’s something you’ve done a thousand times before. Sam plays along perfectly, smirking as he squeezes your hand.

Peter, sitting across the table, nearly chokes on his toast.

“Oh, you okay there, Parker?” Sam asks, smirking.

Peter forces a laugh. “Yeah! Totally fine!”

You smile sweetly. “Good. You looked a little… surprised.”

Peter shakes his head rapidly. “Nope! Not surprised! Just, um—just didn’t know you guys were—uh—” He gestures between you and Sam, clearly struggling to find the right words.

Sam shrugs. “Oh yeah, it’s a new thing. We figured, why not?”

Peter goes rigid. “Oh. Cool. That’s—uh—that’s really cool.”

You squeeze Sam’s hand again, leaning your head against his shoulder for dramatic effect. “Yeah. It is.”

Peter looks like someone just told him Spider-Man isn’t a real superhero.

It’s both hilarious and a little sad.

You expect him to ask questions, to push for details, but instead, he just goes quiet. He finishes his breakfast quickly, mutters some excuse about needing to work on something in the lab, and leaves before you can say another word.

You frown as you watch him go.

“Well,” Sam says, “that was… unexpected.”

You turn to him. “What do you mean?”

Sam gestures toward the door Peter just left through. “I figured he’d get all flustered, maybe try to ‘compete’ for your attention. But he just shut down.”

You chew your lip, suddenly feeling uneasy. “Yeah. That was weird.”

And it only gets weirder.

For the next few days, Peter avoids you. Completely.

He stops sitting next to you at meals. He doesn’t spar with you in training. He doesn’t even make eye contact when you pass him in the hallways. Every time you try to talk to him, he either mumbles some excuse or straight-up disappears.

It’s like he’s a ghost.

And no one—not even Sam—can figure out why.

At first, you think maybe he’s just adjusting. Maybe he’s trying to process his feelings, or maybe he’s sulking. But then you start hearing things.

“He’s been in the lab all day,” Bucky says at dinner one night.

“Yeah, he skipped training again,” Steve adds. “Is he okay?”

“I don’t know,” Wanda says, frowning. “He barely talks to anyone anymore.”

You try to play it cool, but inside, you’re panicking.

Because you know exactly why Peter is acting like this.

And suddenly, it’s not funny anymore.

That night, you find yourself standing outside Peter’s room. You hesitate, hand hovering over the door. You don’t know if he’ll even answer, but you have to try.

You knock.

Silence.

You knock again. “Peter? It’s me.”

More silence.

You sigh. “I know you’re in there.”

Still nothing.

You lean against the door, voice softer now. “Peter… can we talk?”

A long pause. Then, finally, a quiet voice from the other side.

“…I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Your heart clenches. “Why not?”

Another pause. Then—so soft you almost don’t hear it—Peter says, “Because I don’t want to make things weird.”

You blink, confused. “Weird? Peter, what are you talking about?”

He sighs. “You and Sam. You guys are happy. And I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna get in the way.”

Your stomach drops.

Oh no.

You screwed up.

You thought Peter would get jealous. You thought he’d realize his feelings and maybe—just maybe—make a move. But instead, he assumed the worst. He thought he lost his chance.

And now he’s shutting himself off because he thinks it’s the right thing to do.

You feel like the worst person in the world.

“Peter,” you say carefully, “you’re not in the way.”

He lets out a bitter laugh. “I dunno. Feels like I am.”

You close your eyes, exhaling slowly. “You’re not.”

Silence.

Then, quietly, Peter says, “Are you happy?”

You open your mouth, then close it.

Because the answer is complicated.

You’re happy when you’re around Peter. You’re happy when he smiles at you, when he laughs, when he rambles about some weird science thing that you barely understand.

You’re happy with him.

Not Sam.

Never Sam.

And you should’ve realized that before pulling this stupid stunt.

You take a deep breath. “Peter… can I come in?”

Another long pause. Then, finally, the door unlocks.

You step inside. Peter is sitting on his bed, looking exhausted. His hair is messier than usual, dark circles under his eyes like he hasn’t been sleeping. It makes your chest ache.

You sit beside him, close but not too close. “I need to tell you something.”

Peter nods, but doesn’t look at you.

You hesitate, then say, “Sam and I aren’t together.”

That gets his attention. His head snaps up, eyes wide. “Wait. What?”

“It was fake,” you admit, voice soft. “I just… I thought maybe if you saw me with someone else, you’d realize…”

You trail off, heart pounding.

Peter stares at you, completely still. “Realize what?”

You swallow. This is it. No more games.

You meet his gaze, voice barely above a whisper.

“That I like you, Peter.”

Peter doesn’t say anything at first. He just stares at you like you’ve grown a second head, eyes wide, lips parted slightly. His whole body has gone still, like he’s afraid to move, afraid to breathe, afraid to believe what you just said.

You watch the way his brain tries to process it, his thoughts practically running across his face in real-time. His eyebrows furrow like he thinks you might be messing with him, then lift slightly, like maybe—just maybe—he dares to hope you’re telling the truth.

You inhale, steeling yourself. “I like you, Peter. I have for a while.”

He still doesn’t say anything.

Your heart pounds as you force yourself to keep going. “And I know about the gifts. The notes. Everything.”

Peter jerks back like you just electrocuted him. “You—what?”

You exhale, giving him a small smile. “I know it was you. I checked the security footage after the second one.”

Peter makes a strangled sound and immediately buries his face in his hands. “Oh my god.”

You bite back a laugh. “Peter—”

“Oh my god,” he groans again, voice muffled. “This is so embarrassing. You weren’t supposed to know.”

You grin. “Yeah, I figured that out.”

Peter drags his hands down his face, looking like he wants to disappear into the floor. “This is… this is bad.”

You tilt your head. “Why is it bad?”

“Because!” He gestures wildly. “You weren’t supposed to know it was me! I thought I was being sneaky! I had a whole system!”

Your smile softens. “Peter. It was adorable.”

He makes another pained noise, slumping forward, hands in his hair. “This is the worst day of my life.”

You shake your head, fondness swelling in your chest. You reach out, resting a hand on his arm. “Peter.”

He stops rambling immediately, looking up at you with wide eyes.

You squeeze his arm lightly. “I loved the gifts. And the notes. And everything about it. You have no idea how much they meant to me.”

Peter swallows. “Really?”

You nod. “Really. And you wanna know the best part?”

“…What?”

You smile, shifting closer. “I like you too, you idiot.”

Peter’s breath catches.

He looks at you, and for the first time since you walked into his room, there’s something new in his eyes. Something hopeful.

He licks his lips, voice barely above a whisper. “You do?”

Instead of answering, you decide to show him.

You lean in slowly, giving him a chance to pull away. He doesn’t. He just watches you, eyes locked on your lips, chest rising and falling like he can’t believe this is happening.

Then, finally, you close the distance.

The second your lips touch his, Peter freezes. For a split second, he doesn’t move—like his brain short-circuited entirely.

Then, suddenly, he melts.

He kisses you back with so much enthusiasm it nearly knocks you over. His hands fly to your waist, gripping you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go. His lips are soft and warm, moving against yours like he’s trying to make up for all the time you’ve both wasted dancing around this.

It’s messy, desperate, but it’s perfect.

Peter makes a small, needy sound in the back of his throat and pulls you closer, fingers pressing into your sides like he’s making sure you’re real. His heart is racing—you can feel it against your own chest, pounding like it’s trying to break free.

You smile against his lips. “You’re kissing me like a happy puppy.”

Peter pulls back just enough to breathe, his face flushed, eyes dazed. “I am a happy puppy.”

You laugh, cupping his face. “Good.”

Peter blinks at you, then suddenly grins—wide and bright and so full of joy it makes your chest ache. “Wait. I’m kissing you. We’re kissing.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Yeah, genius, we are.”

He looks almost dizzy with excitement. “This is—this is real, right? I’m not dreaming?”

You smirk. “If you were dreaming, would I do this?”

You tug him back in and kiss him again, slow and deep.

Peter practically melts, hands tightening on your waist as he kisses you back like his life depends on it. His lips are warm, a little clumsy but sweet, and the way he holds you—like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him—makes your stomach flip.

When you finally pull away, Peter is breathless.

“I’m so happy right now,” he says, looking at you like you hung the stars.

You smile, brushing a hand through his messy curls. “Good. Because I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.”

Peter’s face lights up, and before you can say another word, he pulls you back in, kissing you again, and again, and again—like he’s trying to make up for lost time.

And honestly?

You’re more than okay with that.

It’s almost ridiculous how unsurprised everyone is when you and Peter officially become a couple. The second you announce it—or rather, the second Peter stammers through telling everyone while blushing like crazy—the reactions are so underwhelming that Peter nearly short-circuits.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Natasha says dryly, not even looking up from cleaning her knives.

“Finally,” Bucky mutters, shaking his head.

“Wait, you guys weren’t already together?” Clint asks, genuinely confused.

Bruce just gives a small, approving nod. Steve claps Peter on the shoulder like he’s just congratulated him on getting a promotion. Even Thor, who’s barely around, chuckles and calls you both “young warriors of love,” which makes Peter go completely red.

But the best reaction comes from Tony.

Because Tony Stark, billionaire genius, mentor, and serial eye-roller, just grins. Not a smirk, not a sarcastic look, but a real, proud, genuine grin.

“About damn time, kid.”

Peter practically chokes.

Tony pats him on the back, almost knocking the air out of him. “Seriously. I was starting to think you were gonna need some kind of intervention.”

Peter blinks. “You—you knew?”

Tony snorts. “Knew? Parker, you’re about as subtle as a wrecking ball. The only one who didn’t know was you.”

Peter sputters, but you’re just smiling. Tony’s approval means a lot to Peter, and you can tell by the way his eyes light up that hearing Tony say he was rooting for him is the best thing that’s happened to him all day.

But of course, because it’s Peter, he has to ruin his own happiness by still being annoyed at Sam.

Ever since the whole fake-boyfriend prank, Peter hasn’t exactly gotten over it. He knows it was just a joke. He knows you only did it to mess with him. He knows Sam doesn’t actually have feelings for you.

But does that stop him from glaring every time Sam so much as breathes near you? Absolutely not.

And Sam? Oh, Sam knows exactly what he’s doing.

“Hey, lovebirds,” Sam calls out one day, waltzing into the common room where you and Peter are curled up on the couch. He doesn’t even sit down before looking straight at Peter and smirking. “Relax, Spidey, I’m not gonna steal your girl.”

Peter bristles immediately. “I wasn’t—”

Sam laughs, clapping him on the shoulder. “I’m just messing with you, kid. Relax.”

Peter does not relax.

And you? You’re getting a little tired of your boyfriend pouting every time Sam so much as looks in your direction.

Which is why, after dinner that night, when Peter is still sulking over Sam calling you “sweetheart” in passing (just to mess with him, of course), you decide to do something about it.

You grab his wrist and pull him toward his room.

Peter stumbles after you, confused. “Uh, Y/N? What’s—”

You push the door open and drag him inside, shutting it behind you. Then, without a word, you shove him onto the bed.

Peter yelps, arms flailing as he lands on his back. “What—?”

You climb onto the bed beside him and immediately wrap yourself around him, curling into his side.

Peter freezes.

You sigh contently, nuzzling into his chest. “There. Now you can stop sulking.”

Peter doesn’t move for a solid five seconds. Then, very slowly, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer.

“…I wasn’t sulking,” he mumbles, but it’s half-hearted at best.

You smile against his shirt. “Yes, you were.”

Peter huffs. “Sam’s just—he’s just annoying.”

You tilt your head up to look at him. “You know he’s only doing it because he knows it gets under your skin, right?”

Peter groans, dragging a hand down his face. “I know. But that doesn’t make it less annoying.”

You chuckle, reaching up to brush some of his curls away from his forehead. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

Peter immediately flushes. “I—I’m not jealous.”

You raise an eyebrow.

He sighs. “…Okay, maybe a little.”

You grin and press a kiss to his jaw. “You don’t have to be. You already won, Peter. I’m yours.”

Peter makes a tiny, happy noise in the back of his throat and buries his face in your hair. “Say it again.”

You laugh. “What? That I’m yours?”

He nods, arms tightening around you.

You shift so that you’re straddling him now, hands resting on his chest as you lean down. “I’m yours, Peter Parker.”

Peter looks up at you, eyes wide and filled with so much awe it makes your heart ache. Then, before you can say anything else, he surges up and kisses you, gripping your waist like he never wants to let go.

The kiss is slow, sweet, and full of emotion. When you finally pull away, Peter just sighs happily and flops back onto the bed, keeping you in his arms.

“You’re ridiculous,” you murmur against his chest.

Peter hums, already halfway to falling asleep. “Maybe. But I love you.”

Your heart skips a beat. He’s never said that before.

You lift your head to look at him, but his eyes are already closed, his breathing soft and even. You smile and press a kiss to his cheek.

“I love you too, Peter.”

And as you settle against him, warm and safe in his arms, you know for a fact—jealousy or not, Peter Parker is yours. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[4ln-stay8]

Home <3

>summary: Bang Chan is on tour and you miss him a little too much

>author’s note: its been a while since the last fic… I also decided to write fics for other fandoms… It’s technically my first one of this kind so bare with me… its most likely bad, I can’t say Im a writer let alone a good one, but I’m bored and I have ideas sometimes

>warning: fluff, fluff, lots of fluff, Bang Chan, mention of Changbin

>pairing: bang chan x reader

It’s public knowledge that Chan was simply a walking green flag, a flag so green that the red dots that stained the material were simply unnoticeable. He was simply perfect, with all his flaws and all his qualities and you considered yourself the luckiest girl in the world to be able to call him yours.

You stared out of your apartment window, the city lights twinkling below. The loneliness in the room echoed the ache in your chest as you scrolled through old photos of you and your boyfriend, Chan. You couldn’t shake off the longing that grew bigger with each passing day he was on tour.

You traced your finger along the outline of his face in a picture, as if trying to bridge the distance between you.

Nothing felt worse than being away from the one you loved the most. The pain that you felt in your chest every time something reminded you of him, which happened constantly, getting stronger and stronger every time.

As much as you were thrilled about Chan being on tour, knowing how happy he is being in his element surrounded by his beloved stays and members, you couldn’t help but hate it with the same passion you loved it with.

You hate not being with him, not being able to hug and kiss and see and touch him, you hated it all. You hated going to sleep in the cold empty bed, waking up all alone and cold, getting home in the evening to an empty apartment. Everything was lonely, but as much as you missed him, you still wouldn’t change a thing.

Even though there were times when you were away from each other, not being able to see each other for weeks, the moments when you were together were all worth it.

You found yourself sitting on the edge of your bed one lonely evening, a mix of determination and excitement in your eyes. The realization that you missed Chan a little too much hitting you like a wave.

In that moment you realised that late night facetime calls and a few text messages a day weren’t enough for you to hold onto anymore. Thats why you just landed in the country he was supposed to perform in a few days.

As you get in the taxi you feel your phone buzzing in the back pocket of your jeans. You reach for it while you tell the driver your hotel address and check your phone screen to see a message from your beloved pop up.

When you raised your eyes from your phone you realise that you are in front of the hotel. You pay the driver and take your bags out. You take your phone to text Changbin, who helped you pull the entire thing off.

You picked up your bags and went to the hotel lobby where you waited for Changbin. Soon after you got there you see Binnie walking out of the elevator.

-Hi Bin! you said excited to see your friend and one of the reasons you were actually here

-Hi Y/nnie! It’s really nice seeing you! said Binnie pulling you in a hug

-Its great to see you too Bin, I missed you guys! Now can you please give me the key? I’m dying to see him! you said blushing, your smile as big as possible

-Sure you simp! Go pull him out of his misery! He misses you like crazy! said Changbin in a teasing voice giving you the spare key he stole from Chan

-Thank you Binnie! It means the world to me! you said and pulled him in another hug

Changbin led you to Chan’s door. He put your bags down and right when you were about to knock you feel your phone buzzing again.

You hear footsteps approaching the door and you wait there nervous and excited to see him again. You see the door slowly opening and you are met with a very surprised Chan right in front of you.

-Hello my love! you said smiling, your eyes staring to get glossy at the sight of your lovely boyfriend who you have missed deeply

- H…hi! Baby… What are you doing here? he said confused yet excited to see you after so long, getting your bags and pulling you inside his room where he launched himself at you, hugging you like there’s no tomorrow

- I wanted to see you! I missed you so much! you said, your face buried in his chest as you pulled him closer to you

-I missed you too babygirl! But I thought you were going home? I didn’t expected to see you here! he whispered not really sure if this is real or it’s just a daydream

-I was going home. I am home Channie! you said smiling at him…. You are my home! you whisper loud enough for him to hear as you pulled him in a kiss full of love and desire

-You are my home too babygirl! he whispered back as you both pulled apart

You never thought that you could love someone this much, but here you were. You always thought that love was a hard thing, that it was something that it wasn’t meant for you. You convinced yourself that love won’t be a part of your existence but then, Chan came into your life and proved you wrong. Loving him was as easy as breathing. Loving him was like the fresh smell after the rain. Loving him was like a glass of cold water on a hot summer day. Loving him was like sitting in the comfort of your home in a cold day, but yet he was your home. He really was your home.

[logically-asexual]

there are a lot of Straight Tropes whose appeal i can understand, like the guy being simultaneously sensible and closed off, or jealousy as a display of affection, or power imbalances, and so on. but one thing i was introduced to solely by fiction and that i think i would have never ever thought of myself, and that am still baffled by to this day, is that trope of the guy (rich) buying an entire outfit for the girl and instructing her to wear it to their date.

the first time i read it in a fanfic i was like oh sure whatever that’s just this authors idea to have the guy flaunt his wealth or whatever. but then i kept seeing it everywhere and it confuses me more every time.

like

first of all straight men barely know their partner’s shoe size, even when they’re married, and they’re constantly nagging about how women choose their clothes while shopping when they, oh so enlightened beings, only care about what is “comfortable”. and i can suspend my disbelief for many things and believe good men exist but this is a line my brain refuses to cross lmao. it’s not even related to being “good” it’s just. how straight men are. it’s a neutral constant of them. they’re good when they do pay enough attention to their girlfriend to buy a gift that fits their size and taste but like. a single piece of clothing/accessory as a gift. that’s what i’d find nice.

and even if. EVEN if i believed that a straight man was capable of going to stores and shopping for an entire outfit that is the right size for his girlfriend and all the pieces match and also is sexy and also is appropriate for the outing,, even so i find absolutely zero appeal in my hypothetical boyfriend telling me how to dress?? even more so if they’re just leaving me a box full of strange clothes in my bedroom with a note and expecting me to just show up somewhere in public dressed in them?

also because in most scenarios this is a pair of people that barely know each other so the guy is picking the clothes based only on what HE thinks will look good on the girl after having just met her. which is insane. people are so different and personal taste for an outfit has so much impact your ability to carry a Look.

like i get that i, playing a straight woman, would want to look sexy for him or whatever but In That Case i would like to do that with my own preferred clothes which im already confident in because i know from experience that they look good??? new clothes are always a source of self-consciousness especially if they’re supposed to be sexy or special like?? heck i even feel nervous when i try a different combination of the clothes i already own.

i don’t know to me it just seems like a recipe for anxiety and not in the cutesy, butterflies-in-my-stomach kind of way, but in the “who the fuck does this guy think he is” kind of way.

i’ll keep watching straight romances because even though i’m ace the part of me that is romantically attracted to some men still likes a handful of their tropes. but not this particular one. i’ll never stop being a hater for it.

[f4ggydog]

a few more hear me outs here cause your blog is my #1 safe space rn and I really thank you for that. 🤍

Listening to Disease by Lady Gaga while im writing this..

ANYWAYS! as for the loml mari, I agree with literally everything you said about her from my previous ask.. like that is exactly what I was envisioning… I wanna get your thoughts on intercourse with her, because there is no way she’s normal about it, I wanna think she gets shy, and is most likely a nervous biter. Like you’re riding her and she pushes her upper body into your chest because she’s nervous, biting into your shoulder to find an exit for the pleasure, meanwhile she’s TWITCHINNNGGG under you, pulsing and digging her fingers into your sides..

Something also tells me she really enjoys asphyxiation.. but she will get bratty about it, attempting to top you to edge you into choking her!!!!!

also… semi toxic canon marilottie… my heart is yours…

(🌿)

mari can’t be normal…about anything ever, even though she believes she is.

mari is a nervous little puddle during sex. her big mouth can’t say shit in the bedroom and she knows that damn well!

when your fingers circle a particular spot that feels good, she’s either chewing on her lip or trying to find a spot on your arm or shoulder to gnaw.

she loves to scratch too. honestly she doesn’t even do it to be a brat. She just needs some sort of physical outlet for the pleasure because every little touch or kiss or lick bite is overstimulating to her. her body can literally barely handle it. it drives the poor baby nuts.

i feel like mari’s also got a good oral fixation. she loves sucking on your fingers or having your strap/cock in her mouth. it just feels so comforting and good to keep something in her mouth to suckle on. she also loves your tits and sucking on your nipples like she’s nursing from you sighhh <333

girl’s a whiner too for sure. she gets impatient and constantly tries to force your hand where she needs you most or grind on you to ensure she gets off. and she’ll scold you and complain if you don’t satisfy her desires QUICK. however, you know where she’s most sensitive to send her back into her place. and if she needs an extra reminder, your hand on her throat is a good start. though, that’s exactly what she wanted, isn’t it?

heavy on the bratting thing. she’ll let out phrases like “is that all you got?” or mouth some insults like “you call yourself a top? you’re not even being rough.” that’s just her enticing you. and you don’t want to give her what she wants so easily cause that little tease should have to work for it. she fights back, intentionally clawing at you this time or calling you a pathetic little shit or getting overly cocky. but eventually you just can’t fight the urge to put her back in the place where she belongs and close your hand around where she needs to breathe. she always does win, doesn’t she?

[redactahoe]

pretty darlin appreciation listener addition

this is a compellation of everyone finding darlin hot and darlin not getting it this is part 1 with all the relevent listeners and part 2 will include the boys this is inspired by @whorefordarlin btw

this might be long af

the only physical trait i give to trait is a beefy build and short hair tw: alot of simping shenanigans, mention of shitty foster care parents/neglectful parents, i cant spell so be warned

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angel:(set durring darlins first meeting back)

angel had no idea what to expect from this 'mysterious pack member'. but it definitely wasn't this. i mean give angel some credit with the way the pack described the pack member it made them out to be some sort biker gang delinquent with and eye patch or something! but no the person Infront of the angel was most definitely not what they expected.

they were about 6 inches taller than them and and had a very pretty face with all kinds of pretty piercings on it. they were wearing a patched up leather jacket with a tank top under neath, tattered but tight jeans, and some beat up combat boots. all of this layered on top of they're very broad frame.

"Hi, i'm angel! nice to meet you!" angel greets with a nervous but excited glint in their eyes.

"oh! davids mate right?, nice to meet you too." tanker greeted back and GOOODD!! their voice was so fucking sexy. their voice was deep with a slight rasp to it that made angels face go red and burst into a fit of flustered giggles.

thus began the slightly awkward conversation between angel and tanker before the pack meeting started. with a red faced angel barely being able to keep together and a very concerned tank trying to decipher what all the giggling means

"hey by the way i think i scared your mate...". the pack meeting finally ended. tank ad david were going some final things when tank brought up angels strange behavior's.

david let out an amused huff "pft- i don't think you have to worry about tanker." he had this amused all knowing smile spread across his face recalling the 5 minute rant angel went on about just how hot tanker was.

"i- what does that mean???"

"don't worry about"

babe:(set in a library near asher and babes apartment)

"baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe im bored.." asher was starting to remember why he disliked libraries so much. they were everything he wasn't, quiet.

"asher i told you that you didn't have to come in with me today" asher's fiancé thick accent rang out quietly through the room. today babe had been called in the fill the last few minutes of someone's shift at the library because they had to go home early.

but before asher could reply the bell at the front door rings out as a very familiar head of white hair is spotted

"well hey there tanker, what you doin' here?" asher genuinely forgot that tank actually loved reading but he loved teasing (lovingly) them about it. "i could ask you the same thing, aren't you the one who constantly complains about libraries being boring or something?" tanker sarcastically shot back.

babes head wiped around breaking out of their concentration at the new voice. so this was the elusive 'super hot biker that comes in every Saturday', as their coworkers described them.

and that description was pretty accurate. they had sharp, half lidded eye that had this twinkle to them that made babe feel like they were in a ya novel when the made eye contact with the very attractive wolf. they some how have both a baby face and a nice sharp jawline and the same time. their hair was cut short and was slightly messy that made them some how even hotter. they were dressed in a lazy zip up hoodie and a band t-shirt along with the forbidden grey sweat pants.

they were hypnotic, alluring, fucking enchanting they wer-

"hey you good?" a deep rasping voice snaped them out of their own spiral. making them realize that A. they had been starring at poor confused wolf and B. asher had this all knowing, shit eating grin spread across his stupidly handsome face.

"o-oh right, um h-how can i help you?" shit their all flustered now and probably made tanker uncomfortable as well

"ive just come to return these." they answered noticeably not making eye contact with them, and thankfully. babe didn't now if the could keep together any longer if they had to keep looking at those bewitching eyes of theirs.

tanker heaves the stack of books they were holding onto the counter. "um o-oh y-yeah okay, let me just...." babe trailed off as they focused back to their work.

the transaction went by pretty fast with tank and Asher playfully bantering back and forth all the while babe processed the book returns. eventually all books were processed and tank was off on their way. Asher turns to them with the same shit eating grin on his face and states "aren't i glad you met me before tanker huh?"

sweetheart:(first day at high school, they're childhood besties)

"its okay, im sure this new family and school will really click with you!" sweethearts social worker had always been an optimistic women even though both of them knew the women was partially lying.

rita had been sweethearts social worker since they 6. so she most likely knew the whole song and dance of sh being forgotten and then eventfully returned. but she didn't know was that a new family meant new neglectful parents but it also meant new asshole kids and new neglectful teachers.

"sure..." to be entirly honest with you they weren't exactly excited, with the old bullies it was easy to predict and avoid. but with new bullies there was always a learning period and those always hurt the worst.

but eventually and much to sweethearts dismay they arrived to their final destination, met their new family and unpack their things into their "bedroom'. though you couldnt really call it a bedroom, it was more like mattress and night stand in an unfinished basement but they've had worse.

it took awhile but sleep came and went. they were up and out of the door by 5 am sharp, theyve made it a habit to not stick around and 'be a bother'. they sat down at the bus stop and got emersed into a book, the wait would be long after all.

they were so emersed they didn't notice the warm body that sat next to them. that was until of course that person fell asleep and start to let a soft snore. turning to look at them had sweetheart slightly fluster but also worry.

they had remarkably clear skin for a 15 year old and had short but shaggy hair that fell over and framed their face almost perfectly. but on the other hand they dressed and had the general demeaner of a typical bully. the cool and Grundy punk style they had to them though didn't come of as forced like alot of the others, it looked so natural and so good on them, well good enough to make sweethearts teenage heart flutter.

......okay that may have been a bit of a stretch since the person was asleep, but this was a good opportunity to scope out a possible danger that didn't with sweetheart getting pummeled... hopefully.

a sharp and admittedly cute snort interrupted sh's thoughts as that person woke up. there was a bleary almost adorably clueless look in their eyes as they but two and two together on where they were.

they looked around and made eye contact with sweetheart, then looked down at the book they had. and smiled...... but then quickly looked straight ahead

why did they have to be so. god. damn. gorgeous????

and what makes it worse (read as: better) was that they didnt even know any one knew about this book!!!

"u- um do you like this series?"

why did the say?!?!?! what compelled sweetheart to blurt that out in the most awkward way possibl-

"oh um, yeah its actually my favorite..." there was a slight nervous chuckle at the end of that sentence that made sh's heart sore in ways they never felt before.

the question and reply started an unlikely friendship between the two that no one, not even sweetheart saw coming. all because sh' thought the were pretty and liked the same book

lovely:(lovely was getting repairs done on their guitar when tank walks in)

this was the worst.....

lovely couldn't believe they had to sit here in this ironically quit music store. it was days like these they wish Vincent could go out into sunlight. it would mean at the very least they would have him there to bored along with them. but alas that wasn't the case.

they heard that this store in particular was good at repairs with instruments and had decent prices though. it was a small music shop that was decorated with history music, old expensive instruments lined the walls with a few poster of famous rock a metal idols along with them.

the only other person in the store with them was this older Hispanic man that looked like a much older Gómez Addams

suddenly the man shot up from his seat as soon as the shop bell ringed.

" aye!!! i havent seen in awhile where have you been lobo?!" the older Hispanic man that was working on their guitar asked with excitement towards the person

"ive been busy old man, i cant just hang around the shop all day like i did when i was kid." the deep raspy voiced stranger responded with amusement.

and when they came just a little close..... they just were so pretty???

lovely didnt even know if it was just the lighting or something but they were prettier than Vincent! and Vincent was stage 10 pretty boy but this random person in this small little music shop was prettier!?!? now dont get them wrong they love Vincent very much but for a brief moment they considered snapping a picture and asking Vincent for a polycule with this random but very attractive stranger. all the while the stranger was conversation with the old clerk while he works on lovely's guitar they were able to get a good look at them.

they well built but like in that really hot muscular with a layer of softness over the muscles that made them look both very strong but very huggable, the had soft short hair that lovely would've broken bones to run their had through. in their eyes there was this mysterious almost teasing look to them that had lovely hooked and all types of hot and bothered. everything about them was just so tantalizing.

the stranger or lobo as the store clerk called them had this aura around them that could only be described as playful but mysterious and those scars looked so good. lovely didn't know many people in real live make having scars so sexy-

" how did you fuck up this thing so bad??" the older clerk cries throwing his hands on his head in distress snapped them out of their small simping spiral. when looking at what the old man was talking about they saw a well used and loved bass sitting on the counter, guitar was already finished and set off to the side.

the body of the bass was slightly cracked and the strings looked like they were a tap away from snapping.

"I told you've i've been busy...." lobo trailed off almost ashamed of the state of their bass"

the older man only mumbled something in spanish about bullshit excuses and turned of to call out to lovely, telling them he's done with the repairs and told them the price. they paid and excited the building only catching the beginning of a likely very hefty scolding about the importants of bass care.

they immediately whipped out their phone once out of ear shot and called Vincent.

"vinney you will not believe i just saw someone prettier that you!!!"

okay thats it for now thxs for reading, srry for any spelling mistakes

[atwingeofcringe]

Enough

A/N: hello everyone! this is my first fic on this account! ive written 3 parts to this but ive written them in a way where they could all be standalones and there are time gaps between them but ive left it up for you to decide how much time! ive seen people say different time spans for how long it takes for him to warm up to an S/O and i wanted to keep it vague! even though i have the other 2 written im not sure when i'll post them because i have a lot going on right now but we'll see! i also tried to write these in a way so that you can imagine which ever version of Michael you like most or the version you think best fits! all my writing is done on my phone btw so sorry if there are mistakes i didnt catch! sometimes my phone likes to think it knows more than me lmao! Summary: Michael feels conflicted feelings as you patch up his wounds. Pairing: Michael Myers x Reader Warnings: None Word Count: 1,344

🔪

The sound of your back door opening and then closing broke your attention away from your tv for a split second, then you faced the tv again. Heavy footsteps made their way over to you but you remained watching your show, unconcerned. A dark figure emerged from around the corner and stood there silently, knife in hand, and staring right at you. Anyone else would have been frightened by this but, for you, this is a normal occurrence.

“Hey, Michael!” you greeted, looking up from your show.

Of course, you got no greeting in return, but that’s normal too. He stepped more into view, letting you see him more clearly and you gasped at the sight. He was covered in blood and clearly injured. You knew most of the blood wasn’t his but you were still worried.

You shot up out of your seat on the couch and quickly ushered Michael into your kitchen, where you kept your medical supplies, and sat him down at the table. His bloodied knife was taken to the sink for washing later. He didn’t think his injuries were that bad and why you fussed over him so much, he just wanted to come by to check on you. Still, he let you do what you wanted.

“Can you take this off?” You asked, pointing to his blood soaked coveralls.

He pulled the zipper down pushed the top of the coveralls down until it rested around waist, exposing plain black t-shirt that was also soaked with blood. You thanked him and carefully started tending to any fresh and exposed wounds you could see, all the while trying to keep skin to skin contact to a minimal. He’s not a fan of being touched and you didn’t want to make him angry.

While you did this, you could feel his eyes on you the whole time. You’re used to it, though. His eyes constantly followed your every movement. In the beginning, this used to make you uncomfortable. Now, you paid it no mind and sometimes even forgot about it.

“There.” You sighed, carefully pushing his shirt sleeve back down over his shoulder after taking care of a cut. He stared as you stood over him, looking him over to make sure you got everything. Your eyes scanned him until you got this masked face, seeing more blood on the mask itself and also some parts of his exposed skin from under the mask. You’ve never seen him without it on and you never wanted to ask in case it upset him, but you’re worried.

“Um, do you mind if this comes off too?” Unintentionally, your voice came out small and your throat felt a little dry. You didn’t mean to sound so nervous but you couldn’t help it.

He didn’t make any moves that indicated a yes or a no, only staring up at you. You slightly shuffled uncomfortably before deciding ‘fuck it’ and slowly lift your hand towards the mask. Your finger tips barely made contact with the bottom of before his own hand shot up at light speed and grabbing yours, making you nearly jump out of your skin. His hand gripped yours tightly and it was a little painful but ignored it and swallowed hard before opening your mouth to say something else.

“I-I just want to see if you need stitches or something.” Your voice was shaky and the sound of your heart pounding from the jumpscare was loud in your ears. “I don’t want you to get infected.”

He sat there, staring up at you from his seat and clenching your hand for a few more seconds before letting go. A quiet, relived sigh left your lips as the pain dissipated from your poor hand and you wiggled your fingers a little, trying to get out any lingering pain. Michael looked down as his hands came up and gripped the mask, slowly taking it off.

When the mask was fully off he didn’t look back up at you, letting his gaze linger down at the mask in his hands. For some reason, this made you nervous again but you swallowed your fear and spoke up. “Can I see?”

He was still. Is he afraid of something? Is he nervous too? Most likely, you’ll never know the thoughts swimming through his mind. He’s never been an easy person read, which is how he likes it. Honestly though, he was a little scared. He does’t want to be perceived as just a man and that’s all he felt like without his mask. With it on, he felt powerful and people feared him. Now, here he is risking that reputation and for what? A few cuts and bruises? He knows he doesn’t have to do this but something about your good nature towards him compelled him and it was leaving him feeling conflicted.

“Michael?”

Your voice interrupted his thoughts and he huffed, acknowledging that he heard you.

“Can I see?” You asked one more time. Michael sighed and lifted his head, locking eyes with you once more. You had to stop yourself from gasping at the man in front of you. You’ve thought about what he might look like before but you never expected him to be so… pretty. A smile formed on your face as you tried to fight the blush that threatens to light up your cheeks. “There you are!” You said cheerfully.

He isn’t sure what you meant by that but he sat up straight to let you examine the cuts on his face. You leaned in closer to get a good look but not too close so you didn’t make him uncomfortable.

“Just a couple scratches.” You said, mostly to yourself. “These don’t look bad at all. You’ve got quite the bruise here, though-“ without thinking your hand came up to lightly trace the dark spot that formed near his eye but before you could, his hand came up once again squeezing yours and making squeak in surprise. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking!” You winced.

Micheal stared up at you with a dangerous expression. How could you be so absent minded? Have you forgotten who he is? Did taking of his mask actually ruin your image of him? The thought of his dangerous reputation being ruined angered him and he absent mindedly squeezed your hand harder just thinking about it.

“Michael, your hurting me!” You were nearly on the verge of tears from the pain and trying to pull your hand away.

Michael started thinking about how much you’ve done for him over the time he’s known you. Always worrying about him, giving him a place to hide and rest, feeding him. Would letting down his walls be so bad if it was just you? He knows he’d be just fine without you but thinking of you not existing in his life made him disappointed.

His grip on your hand softened but he didn’t let go. He was still holding on firmly, keeping you from pulling away. You gave up and watched him as he watched you. His eyes pierced yours in a way you feel like you hadn’t seen before. You gulped and asked “are you okay?”

Micheal slowly blinked up at you and loosened his grip on you a little more. You could pull away now if you wanted to but made no attempt. What happened next made butterflies erupt your stomach and you know your face was bright red. Micheal slightly turned his head, now facing your hand, keeping his eyes on you, and placed a gentle kiss to the middle of your palm. Your heart was pounding so hard the sound was nearly deafening in your ears. As his lips left your hand, he softly pressed it against his cheek. You weren’t sure what caused his sudden change in mood, but, honestly, you weren’t complaining.

Your eyes flicked to his lips for a split second before looking back into his eyes. He noticed but made no moves and you were fine with it. Just being close like this was enough.

[iloveslllycatss]

accidental confessions with the inarizaki boys 🥺

(I turned my autocap off for this request <3)

𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨

𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘨𝘰 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨?

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 : 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘢, 𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘶

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴/𝘢𝘯 : 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘤 𝘺𝘬, atsumu 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘺𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 😞 (anon I actually love u for the autocap thing.)

r. suna ↴

✫ ok so for this you basically r watching the team practice (u r friends w them) and during the water break u decide to give ur good friend suna a call thinking it’s your best friend, ghalya (my irl best friend btw 😉). 

this whole day you’ve been thinking about one thing. whether u should or shouldn’t go watch your crush practice. the obvious answer was yes because you were friends with all the second years on the team, but in the back of ur mind you were rethinking the decision. so you decide to ask your best friend.

“bruh yes wth r u thinking ofc u should go 😐” 

ghalya looked at you as if you were the dumbest person in the world for letting the thought of not going cross your mind. “okok fine ig I will” you sigh, but then u get a idea “what if… YOU CAME WITH.”…. only to be answered with a 

“no. I’m not ab to go to a practice for ppl idk 😨.. and even if I wanted to I cant, I have to study for my exam next week” 

as if you ever study 🤨 is what you WANTED to say, but instead u settled for a “fine”. 

when u got to the practice the first person to notice your arrival was atsumu. “OMG Y/N HIII” he waved with a smile, gaining the attention of his teammates. after they all greeted you, you sat down watching them. your eyes constantly rerouting onto one person… suna. if you were being honest, your crush on him was FAT ASL. u were head over heels for this boy; not that you’d ever tell him.

during their water break you looked at him again, sweat dripping down from his hair as he drank his water, you kept looking at his hands. his pretty pretty hands, his long slender fingers and his short kept nails. as you started to examine his face, suna looked at you. after maintaining eye contact for a couple of seconds you looked away, flustered. his eyes were beautiful, a perfect shade of grayish yellow. they were practically glowing. so you did the normal thing to do, bother your best friend about it. 

you had taken your phone out of your pocket, opening the phone app and calling the 4th recently called person instead of the third.

“hello??” you start, leaving no room for response. “ghalya emergency. im FR ab to punch suna rintaro. why? u may ask. THIS MF. WITH HIS PRETTY ASS SELF DECIDES TO LOOK AT ME FOR A COUPLE SECONDS. like im already I’m love w u dont play. GHALYA PLZ I NEED HELP IM DYING FR.”

“umm… l/n????” 

“oh. okay. allow me to go kms.” 

when I tell u that u ran out. I mean u MF RAN OUT.  when you got home you called ghalya (actually her this time). and RANTED UR ASS AB IT until a certain someone  knocked on your front door. u went to look though the peephole, you saw him. so you fixed your hair and dusted your clothes rlly quick and opened the door. “hey-“ 

“ilikeyoutoo”

that was all he said, it was so quick and he barely muttered it, but you heard it so clear. and your jaw DROPPED. (not actually) “you WHAT?” you were FR in denial. “I said, I like you too” he said, slower this time. “so, do u think we could go to a cafe this sunday? as a date?” he had a blank face but you could tell he was kinda nervous. “yeah, I’d like that….. like I’d REALLY like that” you said without thinking. he smiled

after he left, you were laying in your bed those same words repeating in your head

I said I like you too

I said I like you too

I said I like you too

let’s just say, you were looking forward to your sunday

a. miya ↴

✫ okok so for this one, I feel like u just r stalking his insta or sum (fan behavior/yall r friends) and then u CALL HIM instead of ur best friend AKIRA. and rant about how good he looks 😞 

you were crying (not actually). not because you were sad but bc how FINE atsumu looked in his newest instagram post. you were laying on your stomach and KICKING UR FEET AND GIGGLING. u felt like an elementary school girl who had a crush on a boy. it was a selfie of atsumu after he had woke up, his bedhead was cute and all in his face, he was pouting and his eyebags were as visible as can be 😭. but somehow, he pulled it off. the picture was captioned “stupid ass brother CANT keep his mouth shut when I’m sleeping but at practice he don’t even call for the ball 😐” his comments were FILLED with girls saying things like “omg my pants suddenly fell off” or “don’t disrespect my man osamu like that!!!”…. 

you were jealous. 

so you just HAD to call your best friend akira to talk ab it. so you called and as soon as the phone was picked up you gave no room for anyone else to speak.

“omg. akira. I’m ab to give atsumu a big fat kiss bc why does he look so good. like IK I be talking ab him to u a lot and stuff but like HOLY SHIT. HOW CAN SOMEONE LOOK SO GOOD AND WAKE UP AT THE SAME TIME. but those girls in the comments can fr die bc like back off or wtv 🙄.”

“y/n??? u think I looked good 😏”

when I tell u your heart bursted out of ur chest I mean full ass HEART ATTACK. you ended that call so quick not even the flash could outdo you. 

2 minutes had passed and atsumu was spamming you with things like “Y/N ANSWER PLEASE” or “Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN IK U SEE THIS”. until one text message caught ur eye

“I like u too btw 🙄” 

ONLY THEN you answered with a “thats wild”

“oh so NOW you want to reply 🤨🙄”, you smiled at this, calling him back. “omg atsumus like soooo hot and  he my man fr!!” he mocked, you glared at the phone laughing sarcastically, then he added a “we should go on a date ykyk i pick u up at 6 tmrw and we go out ykyk i’ll make sure to make myself look extra good”. 

“yeah that would be great actually we should”

you both talked for a little after that, talking about your days and volleyball until you say u need to gtb.

“WAIT BEFORE YOU GO, about that big fat kiss…”

“good night atsumu.”

@/ilovesillycats

please don’t copy my work 😞

[sootcore]

vent post

i wanna be in love again so fucking bad dude. I wish I didnt have so many obvious insecurities. Also like, i’m really scared that I genuinely cannot experience attraction or have someone be attracted to me. I can’t even hold a conversation with my friends without getting scared or frustrated or tired, and I miss when I could spend all day with someone instead of being irritated after a two hour call. How am I gonna make someone happy when I can’t even do that? I don’t think I really bring enough to the table to ever really be liked, and i’m much too distant from anyone to even try. I don’t even know how to make new friends anymore, let alone keep up conversations and let the hell alone form a romantic bond with someone. God, i’m gonna be 26 next month and it feels like i’m leagues behind as a person, and with as supposedly traumatized as I am; which I can barely bring myself to believe, i’m really scared i’m gonna drive myself into total isolation by the time i’m thirty. I’m really scared, and what really scares me is that i dont even feel like im fixing it, like im barely trying. Is this being nonverbal? Am I just like? sociopathic? is this agoraphobia? avoidance? Dude I just wanna feel safe with people without having to go and create a safe space for myself. I wish I didn’t feel like some enormous misplaced monster everyone’s putting up with, I wanna be fuxking normal so damn bad. I wanna be normal and live a normal life and not think all damn day about how there’s something wrong with me and i’m nervous and constantly irritated. Who could ever even like that? Who could really want that? And god that and there’s not much to physically like about me. I hate that I expect to be last choice. I hate being told “i would have asked you out but i went with them instead” and its always someone who’s infinitely fucking meaner than me. Either that or my thoughts are just really warped and I don’t notice how awful I am as a person, im sure im barely aware anyway. I drove everyone away and now I deserve to suffer for it, so I think this is all a hell of my own creation. I really just want a fucking hug and to cry with someone for a little while and to feel like a person again. I feel like i lost so much of myself and everything i used to love just feels empty and stupid to care about. I wish i was worth more and I just wasnt so goddamn embarrassing and wrong.

[midnightmisadventures]

Dream catcher lol

uhhhh...... well i was with Liam and this other guy on what felt like chip den couch.

And the one guy liked me, he was a black ALI. Then sarah and this random girl came stumbling in, we were all chillin ready to party. But she immediately was talking to me and was like "whos ur friend??" talking about Liam saying that hes hot.

And actually i think i knew the girl? from work or something. I think she was the sopranos girl. And then the black guy who liked me thought SHE was hot. So he was trying to get her off of Liam.

So he immediately was like "thats liam arielles boyfriend, but let me introduce myseelff" Like he so causally just said Liam was my boyfriend in front of him....and me and sarah and sopp. I didnt really know what to do.

I remember thinking when we were just sitting there the three of us, that this is the first time things have felt peaceful with Liam in ages. Like we're sitting here, im giggling constantly. I was nervous my laughing so much would look like flirting and being too much. But i was like honestly i cant help it he makes me giggle so much.

But we were respecting boundaries. We werent talking a ton, just casually sitting next to eachother and things were going well.

NOW, black guy just said liam's my boyfriend, and i didnt know whether to be like "NO NO HES NOT" because one, i dont liam to think i dont like him, two i dont want the bitch sopp to think hes up for grabs. But i also couldnt just say "yep" that would be way too much and could scare Liam off? we're barely friends.

I forget who said what next exactly. But i remember Liam saying something along the lines of "sarah and i have never dated." Lmao like i cannot remember why that was in question?? So then sarah was like "uhh yea, Liam, youve never dated any of us!?" I think meaning anyone "in our social group" not.....the five ppl talking right now? Regardless his response was "Yes....i have sarah" Saying it like shes an idiot. Not defensive just like, Yes i have but dont worry about it your drunk vibes. And it felt like he was trying not to look at me but also talking about me like huh?? maybe he was my boyfriend idk.

So then im up from the couch im doing something, and i remember thinking. This is so dumb i cant lose BOTH of them. Talking about Liam and black guy. I dont think i had feelings for black guy?? maybe a little or maybe i just liked the attention.

---- SCENE CHANGE ---

So now, we're on a school bus, and we're riding somewhere. Same tour, travel, dads show at 11, flight in the morning, roadside carnival convention center cruise port bullshit. hahahaha

And Liam is one row ahead on the other side. Things were still good i think. But i had the son of neptune?? a HoO book i was reading. And flipping through the pages there were paragraphs and paragraphs notes i had handwritten on blank pages? notebook pages in the book? idk. So i was trying to read, and all of a sudden the book almost flew out of my hands and out the window. I just caught it by two fingers or so. Like it was so forcefully almost RIPPED out of my hands. And was flipping open to the pages i was journalling.

So i was kinda like, i gotta hold onto this more carefully cause i didnt want anyone to read my stuff but especially Liam i think. It seemed like 6th grade scribble vibes so it wouldnt make sense to actually be about him.....but you get it. We're on a school bus in a dream lol

But i looked up and my window was the only one half way open, and that felt weird?? like why would it be only mine and i dont need air i hate the window open. I wanted to close it but was so afraid to put the book down, like i would lose it again. '

Everyone on the bus saw btw and they were like woahhh. So the guy in front of me asked if he wanted me to throw the book out the window. And i was like no??? wtf im not TRYING to get rid of it. I have writings in it i was trying to read.

Then i started to flip through the pages to find the writings to reference and i....couldnt....find them....

It was like the wind was some spirit that took, my words and sent them to liam without my permission.

Anyway. Twas weird.

[bepatientandpersistent]

My constant thought these days is "life is weird". I don't even know how to elaborate on that. This is probably going to be a long rambling nonsensical post. You can read if you want, obviously that's why I put it on here, but I just learned how to put things under the "keep reading" cut. I know, I'm super late 😂 but I don't post on here like I'd like to.

I feel like I've just had so many feelings recently. Today one kind of surprised me because I thought "it's gonna be okay". Like, I tell myself that all the time, because life is a struggle and I need to remind myself to keep going and that things WILL in fact be okay. But today the thought occurred to me subconsciously without me having to force it. So, maybe things will actually be okay.

I've been really struggling financially for a couple months. Well, actually about 7 months, since my mom's income got suspended (she's on SSI). We finally got that resolved last month and it helps a ton, she can pay her own bills now. But my bills are behind because I was helping her AND I chose to go down to one day a week at the hotel. I have been doing door dash and spark deliveries for a few months and those options were pretty stable, but now they aren't as busy as they were. I spend many hours each week waiting for deliveries, and sometimes they just dont come. I've resorted to just leaving bills unpaid or overdrafting my bank account to pay them. When I do that, my bank charges me $36 per day that I'm overdrafted. It's a killer. I had to borrow a large sum of money from one of my good friends yesterday, and it just barely covered the overdraft I had.. I will be able to pay him back, and he's allowing me to pay in payments. Im so thankful for him.

I start my new big-girl hospital job on Monday! I'm excited but nervous. I can't believe it's finally here and happening. I take my NCLEX on the 10th. I haven't been studying like I should because all of every day has been spent doing and waiting for deliveries. My goal for today is to answer 100 review questions, maybe more of I can but AT LEAST 100. I have the resources to do it and today I have the time, I just need to make myself. I'm doing that after I post this.

I'll get my first paycheck and a $6500 sign-on bonus check on the 22nd. I just hope I can hold out on money until then. My commute to work will be ~40 minutes each way, and that takes gas. 5 days a week throughout June. After that I may go down to 3 days a week but that's to be determined.

My mom and I have been bickering about money and bills for weeks. We don't live together and our bills are technically separate but we help each other. If I have money and she needs something paid or needs something, I help her, and vice versa. Sometimes one of us will spend money on something unnecessary and it causes a rift. Because money is so tight right now. I don't feel like I should have to explain where every cent of my money goes, but I understand why she gets frustrated. We are broke. I am so ready for us to not have to share money and bills and to be able to do as I wish with the money I make. That's where my frustration comes in also: most of the money we have to spend is mine. I work 3 jobs right now, soon to be 4. If I want to spend the money I work my ass off for, I can do that. I just have to face the consequences of it sometimes..

I'm still living with my aunt and uncle and since my income will be much higher here soon, the thought of getting my own place has crossed my mind. My mom would like for us to live together. I'm not convinced that's a good idea. I'd love to have my own space and there are things I dislike about living with family. My dad may also potentially be moving here before the year is up. He probably wouldn't have a job immediately so he would either have to stay with my mom (in her living room) or with me in my own place. My mom complains about him constantly when he stays at her apartment. If like to avoid that if possible. I also don't enjoy the thought of having to move houses in the summer, that just sounds terrible. Plus, it would give me a few months to save up for deposits and moving costs.. no plans are set in stone yet, but moving this year is a definite possibility.

I've been trying to get back in the mindset of getting healthy and losing weight. I've stopped drinking sodas again (4 days ago) and am consequently drinking more water. However, I started smoking cigarettes again about 1.5 months ago and haven't kicked the habit yet. I am determined to make this pack the last and wait before I start work on Monday... I think I can do it. I haven't been any more active. My scale still says 266, which is 1 pound less than my high weight. At least it's not more right? I just know I'm going to be miserable working as a nurse being this overweight and out of shape. Part of me wants to try keto again because I know it will make me lose weight fast. But I can never keep up with it, I always quit right after it starts working. I'm still trying to decide what I want to do.. trying to decide what I think I can stick with.

I need to call my storage place and pay for my unit. I need to call and pay a loan. I need to go tomorrow to buy scrubs for work. I need to go study. I think I'll end this post there. I'm sorry if you've read this far 😅 I didn't know where I was going with it lol. I feel like I have lots more to say but I'll continue later.

[harrowharkwife]

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[selfshipstuff]

doesn't really have to do with selfshipping but i would rather talk about this here than on main tbh. im thinking of changing my name again?? very frustrated bc i love the way my signature looks with my current one so so much but its been difficult to connect to it completely (altho that also might be since im not out to pretty much anybody irl so i hear my old name a lot,, OTL) and like. i just don't know (heads up i accidentally got a LOT personal in the tags so if youre not up for some heavy shit just ignore this skdnx god im all over the place rn in terms of train of thought)