#and im simply afab but thats so true

[c1trvswurld]

Sometimes I get insecure abt my stomach and thighs but then I press 3 fingers into my stomach and let it sink and and all I can think is "god renaissance period artist would love me" with a sly smirk before I go to sleep

[starrihan]

could you write jay and jungw sharing y/n🙏🏾

-> Pairing: Jay x afab! Reader x Jungwon

-> Plot: your need for a roommate leads you to meeting Jungwon who always brings his friend Jay around

-> Genre: smut, 3some, jay is kind of a sleeze, shy jungwon, squirting, use of nicknames (baby girl), oral (m receiving), fingering, nipple play, kissing, orgasm denial, piv sex, creampie (always use protection!!), drooling

-> Warnings: none

-> Word Count: 2,205

-> Notes: you guys deliver quick I’m so happy to write requests 🤩🤩🤩 disclaimer tho this is my first 3some fic so please bear with me. also since this is a very broad ask please let me know if anything in this fic bothered you or wasn’t what you were expecting, I’m simply writing based on what I was given~ (not proofread)

༄ ༄ ༄

okay so im imagining a roommate type situation.

like Jungwon is your roomate who has his friend Jay over a lot so you slowly start getting acquainted to him too. you had advertised needing a roommate to help pay for rent. you weren't expecting a response so quick but jungwon jumped at the oppertunity and you didn't mind as long as he was clean and not a freak (at least one of those things is true.)

so there is born a new friendship, and roommate-ship between you and jungwon. you guys would hang out sometimes, often eating dinner together and watching a movie since you both got home from work or school around the same time. you kept to yourself a lot, not that he minded since he did too. but one day he asked if it was okay for him to bring friends over, which you happily allowed. that was the day you met Jay and a couple of his other friends. while he hung out with all of them, he hung out with Jay the most.

usually when he had his friends over, you stayed in your room, not wanting to bother them. sometimes they'd bring food back for you to which you were very thankful and you would eat with them. then you'd retreat back to your room for the rest of the night. you didn't know that you had caught Jay's eye. one time after eating dinner with them, you went back to your room like normal, thanking them for the food.

"yo, you ever hit that?"

cue jungwon almost choking on his food.

"what??? thats my roommate Jay, no."

"what? she's hot. can I have her if you won't?"

"I guess? i don't think she wants you though. she would've mentioned to me if she did."

jungwon had never seen you in that way before, but after seeing how Jay was talking about getting with you, he'd start to notice you a bit more. how smooth your legs always looked. how full your chest looked in your shirt. how nice your thighs and ass looked in those leggings. how it was so hard for him to control his boner around you. he wanted to curse Jay for bringing your sexiness to his attention. he never acted on it though. he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, or worse, be kicked out of the apartment. that didn’t stop Jay from making comments about you to him every so often.

༄ ༄ ༄

there’s one weekend where Jungwon was going to go on a trip with his friends. they were only going to be a couple hours away and they even invited you out as well, but you declined, preferring a relaxing weekend alone instead. of course they respected your wishes and left soon after. a little bit into their drive away, Jay realizes that he has left his wallet in Jungwon’s room and needed to go back to get it. they all head back and wait in the car while Jungwon and Jay go back inside.

you, having been home alone for about 30 minutes by now, didn’t know that they would be coming back. you wasted no time taking off your pants, finally being able to touch yourself without needing to hold back your moans. naturally due to your little whines and grunts, you don’t hear the front door open.

your noises alert the two males, going to check on you to make sure you’re fine before finally heading out. since you were home alone you felt no need to close your bedroom door, which just so happened to be down the hall from Jungwon’s. one peek inside your room was all it took for them to realize what was going on, you frozen in place like a deer in headlights.

they look at each other, Jungwon holding a shocked expression while Jay’s is the opposite, a crooked smirk appearing on his face.

“my, my, look what we have here.”

shocked and embarrassed can’t even begin to describe your emotions right now. your whole face is flushed red, body limp yet frozen, too shocked to even try to cover yourself up.

“w-what are you guys doing here?”

finally coming to, you grab the blanket closest to you, throwing it over your lower half to cover yourself. Jay’s smirk doesn’t fade as he walks up to you.

“no need to cover yourself up darling, we’ve already seen the goods.”

you didn’t want to admit how extremely hot you found Jay. despite the embarrassment you were currently feeling, a new wave of need was hitting you with every step closer he took. he would trace his fingers over your arm, which was still under the blanket as you were using it to get off. he would look back over to Jungwon whose sporting a painfully obvious boner.

“look at Jungwon, he’s hard from just seeing you like this. maybe you could help us out?”

you look between the two men, confused and turned on beyond belief. Jay helps your nerves, beckoning Jungwon over before placing a hand under your chin, tilting your head to the side so he has better access to you neck. once you feel his lips on your neck, you throw your head back, gasps leaving you mouth the closer her gets to your sweet spot.

Jungwon is on the other side of you, nervous as he reaches his hands around your waist, feeling up your curves and chest. you relax into their touch, getting off on the attention they're giving you as your hand resumes its previous task, 2 fingers delving in and out of your hole.

"such a dirty girl, getting off to the two of us touching you"

Jay tsks, replacing your hand with his own, using two of his fingers to help you out. Jungwon, pent up already, pulls his pants down to reveal his raging boner, tip red and angry. you waste no time wrapping your wet fingers around his length, slowly pumping as he sighs out of relief. Jungwon entangles his hands in your hair, leaning down to capture your lips as Jay continues his movements, following your neck as you kiss Jungwon.

you moan as Jay hits a particular spot your short fingers normally have trouble reaching, gasping into Jungwon's mouth as you pump him faster. Jay's nibbling at your neck, increasing his speed as he feels your walls clench around his fingers. you can't help the gush of liquid that comes out of you, soaking the blanket and Jay's hand.

"fuck, you're so hot"

you pull away from Jungwon to kiss Jay, hand pumping faster on Jungwon as he bucks his hips into your hand, pinching and playing with your nipples under your shirt. your moans don't stop, and that keeps them both going as Jay whips the blanket off of you. both men climb into the bed with you. you pull away from Jay as Jungwon helps you take your shirt off, placing your hand back on his length as soon as you're free from the material. Jay takes his pants off in the meantime, watching your tits bounce freely out of the shirt.

"mind if I have her first Won? I've been waiting for this,"

you look up at him, eyes pleading with him to just be in you already. Jungwon nods his head at the older, biting back moans as he tries not to cum just yet. Jay repositions himself to be in between your legs, lifting one of them up onto his shoulder as he rubs his tip against your folds, lubing himself up with your slick.

"ready baby girl?"

you nod like a madman, ready to have him fully inside you. you turn your head to jungwon, seeing his eyes screw shut as he's on the brink of release, and you pull your hand away. the loud whine from his throat is proabably the hottest thing you've ever heard.

"mouth..."

is all you can muster before Jungwon gets the memo, kneeling before you, inching his cock into your open mouth as Jay finally pushes in. the simultaneous moans from the 3 of you are loud, echoing throughout the house. you're trying your best to suck him off at this angle, drool spilling past your lips and down your chin, making its way down the rest of his length. Jay's pounding into you, soft at first but gradually getting more rough as you adjust to his size. the added finger rubbing your clit has you bucking your hips into his thrusts, and your mouth taking Jungwon in deeper.

your orgasms are all quickly approaching, not really trying to hold back as the pleasure grows too much for the 3 of you. Jungwon cums first and harder than you had expected, having denied his orgasm once before. you almost choke trying to swallow his load, scooping up any of his cum that slipped past your lips back into your mouth, savoring every last drop.

you cum next, moaning loud as your hips push into Jay's thrusts, walls fluttering around his length, causing him to release inside of you. you struggle to catch your breath as Jungwon pulls you into another kiss, relaxing a bit as Jay helps you ride out your orgasm. they both pull away from your spent body, exchanging looks before switching spots.

"w-what are you guys doing?'

you're half delirious, confused as to whats going on.

"I had my turn, now it's Jungwon's turn to be in you."

he turns to Jungwon,

"she's so tight, its the best feeling ever."

Jungwon smirks, confidence coursing through his body as he sees how exhausted you look.

"I can't wait,"

he positions himself between your legs, already hard again at the thought of being in you finally. he winces as he brings his tip up to your wet slit that's leaking both yours and Jay's cum, still a little sensitive from his prior release.

"please, it's too much... s-sensitive..."

your broken words only fuel him more.

"you can take a little more for us can't you?"

Jay says, smiling up at Jungwon, who finally pushes himself into your walls. Jungwon runs his hands up and down your body, soothing you of your overstimulation, Jay reaching his hand down to toy with your clit yet again. you buck your hips into them, so fucked out that you fail to produce a moan, mouth hanging open. Jay looks at you, taking his finger that were previously on your clit and bringing them up to your mouth.

"suck."

he commands. your eyes are rolled back into your head as you close your mouth on his fingers, coating his fingers with your saliva as he brings his free hand down to pump his length. your orgasm is approaching quickly as Jungwon continues to bully your hole. he can tell by the way you're frantically bucking your hips to meet his thrusts, losing your pace as spill all over him.

Jay's hands are moving quick on himself, cumming all over your pelvis and stomach as he empties himself. Jungwon takes the chance to bring both of your legs over his shoulders, pounding relentlessly as he's on the verge of cumming. the pleasure is slowly being replaced by pain, the overstimulation becoming too much. Jay can see the way your face contorts, releasing his fingers from your mouth and placing soft kisses on your neck.

"just a little more baby, hang on a little longer."

you nod, too fucked out to properly comprehend what his words mean. its at that point when Jungwon's hips finally stall, ropes of cum painting your walls as he empties every last drop in you. he pulls out slowly, and you whine, half at the loss of feeling full and half out of relief. he watches as the cum from all 3 of you slowly spills out, taking his finger and pushing it back into you. you arch your back and moan and the boys look at each other, smiling and laughing at your spent state.

they both lay on either side of you, silent and breath ragged as you all try to calm down. the air is heavy with the smell of sex but comforting nonetheless. once you've come back to your senses, you look at the 2 boys, remembering the trip they were supposed to go on.

"what are you guys doing here? i thought you were supposed to be on your trip?"

they look at each other, first looking scared realizing that they left their friends waiting outside for them, but then laughing.

"Jay left his wallet here so we came back to get it. they probably drove off without us already because we were taking too long."

Jungwon shrugs, getting up to grab his phone to check the many messages from their group chat confirming exactly what he said.

"whatever. we can go on another trip whenever we want. but this is more fun, right Y/N?"

you look at Jay, laughing at his implications, not yet worrying about what all this between the 3 of you could mean. they both look at you, smiling fondly at your next words.

"round 2?"

༄ ༄ ༄

JayWon have been WRECKING me these days! this ask was just scrumptious 🤤

[creacherkeeper]

happy pride everyone

for some reason i was sitting outside this morning and enjoying some shockingly not boiling hot weather and reflecting on a post i had made like ... 12 years ago on here that "blew up" (like 60k notes on early days tumblr) and thinking like. wow i sure do know a lot more about myself now that makes all that make sense but

the post was someone saying like. hey how can you call yourself an atheist and support gay people because gay people go against the concept of evolution. and my reply was like. actually there are gay members of like every social species weve studied it in and i had a bunch of facts laid out about all the different very gay animals of this world (like giraffes having very largely m/m sex)

but now, like 12 years later, i am thinking about human evolution and queer identity and thought it would be fun to talk about. i am by far not an expert and so if there are experts who want to correct me or talk more in depth about this Please jump in but

... why did humans evolve to be queer anyway?

very short answer: because its helpful to raising kids

longer answer: though its debated whether humans are a prosocial or eusocial species, it is agreed upon that early humans cooperatively raised young, including those that they did not personally sire or give birth to, and that we lived in multi-generation communities where younger members would help raise older members offspring, and vice versa

(note: im using the terms amab and afab for human populations potentially pre concepts of gender but work with me here, i dont want to keep repeating genitalia or genomes when those arent always a helpful 1 to 1 either. sex is a spectrum gender is made up etc support intersex rights)

we know that due to fraternal birth order effect (npr link), youre 33% more likely to be gay with each older amab sibling that you have (not 33% total, but 33% more, so like 2% to 2.6 to 3.5 etc). this is true of both amab and afab people with older amab siblings. we also know that a birthing parent having more of a specific antibody makes their children more likely to be gay (and that antibody is not exclusive to but is highly tied to giving birth to amab children)

in addition, evolutionarily speaking, its just as advantageous for your siblings children to do well than it is for yours to. its incredibly rare you would happen to have a very helpful mutation that your siblings dont have. which means that your siblings kids would be about 25% amab grandparent, 25% afab grandparent, and 50% a parent who is unrelated to you. this is exactly the same for your own children

okay, so what does that mean?

to put it simply, it means that having older siblings, specifically older siblings who are more easily able to sire more children, makes you more likely to end up in a same-sex couple, which means you are two adults with no children who are now around to help raise children you are equally invested in the success of than if they were your own

the more older youth or adults you have around to help who are not also using up a bunch of resources by being pregnant and having non-helping-age children, the better off that community's children will be. more people to hunt and gather and create resources like tools, which means everyone prospers, especially the kids

or, to frame it from the opposite view: having gay siblings means your children are more likely to survive and thrive

(kind of funny how conservatives are like gay people shouldnt be around children when the entire point of our evolutionary development was that we were great to have around if you had kids but like. alas)

so, thats the very basic core of it. but you can apply this concept to a lot of queer identities. aroace? working adult around to help who is not bringing in an unrelated partner or having kids. trans? you now either have an m/f couple who can fill two different social niches without having kids, or you have a gay couple who is able to do more varied physical tasks whether or not they do have kids. bi people may have kids or may not, or their children may be more spread out if they have partners of different sexes over time

not to mention you kind of have some built in, ready to go parents in the case that another community member dies, and there are now orphans that need raising. its a lot harder for someone whos already a parent to take on more children, as opposed to an adult couple who doesnt have any

so yeah :) were queer because we were helpful to have in communities and allowed everyone, but especially youth, to prosper and thrive

tl;dr: queer people were an evolutionary advantage to have in an early community because we were helping-age members who were able to cooperatively raise young and take on orphans without using up resources on birthing and raising our own young

yay science :o) happy pride everyone!!!

[track-maniac]

#maybe this isn't my room to speak in #but as a cis girl. i simply exist as wanting to be a girl #much of that want as an adult is surrounded by wanting to be a girl in a world where it's safe and free and fair to be a girl #but there is always a sense i have of liking being a girl and being like yeahhh thats me #im not always at my most feminine but i am comfortable w how that fluctuates bc i feel at my core that Im Girl #yknow #so if you look in the mirror and look within yourself and you feel Girl then that is valid and that is true and don't ever let anyone #deny you that. especially not yourself. #afab cis girls already are questioned enough in society for not meeting the standards for being girl enough bc society thinks Girl is an act #but that's not true. Girl is a state of mind and a state of being and wholly true to your existence #you need to live that truth and try it on for size #also i think being a trans woman is such a beautiful thing because it. um #because it is. it just is and anyone who tells you otherwise is attacking from their own insecurities and their own places of hurt. #or it's from cis men who hate to see a woman who they realize isn't under their control bc they think a uterus is how they cam control cis w #anyways sry I'm rambling so much #but be trans be beautiful and be your soul says you are bc you deserve that #i may not understand what y'all go through but I understand the struggle to see yourseld in the light you have envisioned #xoxo #trans rights bitch

Not only is this everyone's room to speak in as long as they're respectful, this may also be one of my favourite additions. Because of everything you said but also because it serves as a reminder of something I lost track of when I started interacting with trans girls here: cis people like/want their agab and it's not cis to always think about hrt or different clothes

Idk who needs to hear this but you don't need "signs" to tell you you're a girl. You don't need it to hurt in your guts either. You can just want to try it, and you should.

In retrospect, many of my memories can be analysed as a sign of being trans. But the key point here is "in retrospect". I didn't see any of that before realising I'm a girl. I didn't even feel dysphoria before realising I didn't want to be masculine.

6 months ago, I just thought I was a good ally with every sign of being cis. If you feel like this and you love trans people and think they're so cool and think being trans is really beautiful, maybe just try new pronouns and a name online. No one who matters will be mad at you for doing it.

Had I seen a post like this, I would've figured myself out 3 years earlier

@gnome-de-official

[surpriserose]

hii !!! what does TME mean ? /Genq (Sorry if I said or used anything wrong English isn't my first language <33)

TME stands for transmisogyny exempt basically its just shorthand for im not a trans woman and dont experience transmisogyny. Versus TMA which is transmisogyny affected.

Ive had people ask this in bad faith before and im not saying you are but its an explanation for why im going into more detail here. People who are TME are all cis people, trans men, and many nonbinary people (though there are TMA nonbinary people because not every nonbinary person is the same) so if someone tells you its just a new way to find out your assigned gender at birth thats simply not true. There are AMAB and AFAB people who are TME. If people also try and tell you its a way to find out your genitals that is also not true, as again all cis people are TME and there are trans women who have vaginas but at still TMA. Its not a statement of judgement, but just a way of identifying a social position. The reason trans women created this language is to highlight that transmisogyny is not limited to cis people, that trans people who are not trans women also have transmisogyny to deal with. If you want a general overview of how transmisogyny operates and why trans women and allies have adopted this language, then I would recommend Julia Serano's whipping girl and her other writings, as well as other transfeminists.

[genderkoolaid]

on that last post and growing up ND: i felt that SO HARD. that made me think, not only did my neurodivergence effect my "girlhood" experiences but so did being fat. i often joke w my friends saying 'im afab as in assigned fat at birth' but its pretty genuine! my experiences are so different from "typical" girlhood bc of my fatness, my being fat almost entirely stripped me of being a girl as a child. people wouldn't see me as a boy or a girl, to them i was just fat and gross. i was never ""female socialized"" because i was simply treated like a freak.

i think thats why whenever people try to argue that all trans people (especially transmasc people) had those gendered experiences make me so frustrated, because its simply not true for anyone else bodily marginalized. fat kids, black kids, disabled kids, etc. are so commonly stripped of their identity, including any "typical afab/amab experiences"

!!!! So many little things we do affects how we are gendered by society. I've heard so many people w different marginalizations talk about how they were alienated from gender in unique ways because of it!

[butch-bakugo]

Thats it, im talking about the perisexist aka intersexphobic side of terfs that needs to be addressed more often.

Like terfs fucking hate drag and call anyone, trans or cis, male or female, participating in it "sexual perverts" for wanting to expose children to it but claim you'll die a thousand deaths for gnc women? Bs. Drag is just gender nonconformity on fuckin steroids and it's not inherently sexual. Like why is a woman in a suit only ok to you if she walks around stateing that she is a woman but not ok if she dosent? Like yall are so trigger happy, you shoot at cis butch lesbians with short blue hair who arent actively talking about womanhood and vaginas and accuse her of being an evil tranny whose either a traitor to her fellow woman or a "tim" trying to identify as woman and making a mockery of gnc women.

Yall are so caught up on fuckin genitalia that you dont see the numerous poc cultures, non-christian religions, gnc people and intersex people you drown in your wake who were never aginest feminism but are too "trans-similar" for you to chill tf out. Ive had people tell me im "obviously a non-passing trans woman" just because im intersex with a beard.

Every single time ive addressed intersex people who can not, no matter how much you try, be sorted into male or female, ive been told we dont matter. Intersex people DO MATTER. Your not helping anyone but perisex, hormonally stable cis white women. Hormonally intersex afabs arnt gonna fucking want you, your telling them they dont matter. Physically intersex people raised as women arnt gonna want you, your telling them they dont fucking matter. Hyperandrogonious cis women dont want shit to do with you because your already accusing her of "clearly being a trans woman" because she can naturally grow a beard. The only femininity and women who benefit from terf shit are cis white gc perisex women.

Im not gonna throw away my native culture's gender variance for some white terf just because most white cultures are patriarchal. Im not gonna throw out my genderfluid religious practices for some catholic raised "anti-theist" terf who is one sentence away from saying islamophobic and anti-Semitic slurs just because she believes all muslims and jewish people are sexist and follow the sexist portions of their holy text.

I mean fuck, ive seen terfs advocate for hormonally intersex women to TAKE ESTROGEN so they look less "male" and act less "male". Ive seen them advocate for intersex (mostly afab) babies with intersex genitalia to go through Fgm, a thing they VEHEMENTLY hate just so shes more "female" and can fit their boxes better. Ive seen them say that testosterone makes you inherently violent and angry without dareing to see the actual fucking medical evidence that thats entirely untrue. Ive seen them adovocate for putting 10 year old sons of female rape victims out of shelters because "hes a man at that point" and "other women's safety comes first".... Over a hypothetical and soon to be hypothermic 10 year old boy. Some of them fully and shamelessly base their ideology around genuinely killing all men and male fetuses like... Fuck dude. I think you might need some therapy. Like i get feeling that way, im a victim of many men in my life and if i could choose a world where i can only interact with everyone but cis men, id choose it but im not advocating for the complete genocide of an entire group of people.

The way they talk about trans people smells all to familiar to any group thats gone through genocide and governmental oppression. Its similar to gay people, disabled people, women, poc, non-christians, everyone can see abit of the bigotry in their argument they see in their own oppressors and that should be a real big flashing sign that maybe terfism... Isnt the way to go. When i explain to people that radical feminism can be trans inclusive and its simply and active and deeper form of feminism, i get laughed at by both sides but its true. Tirfs do exist and they include trans and intersex and nonbinary people of all kinds and yes, that includes amabs and many progressives today would fall under that label. But heres the thing, modern day and previous forms of feminism in america have always benefited white cishet women. Susan b fucking anthony supported slavery and did not advocate for black women to be able to vote. Anti-gender variance ignores many poc cultures rich and accepting histories of transgenderism, nonbinarism and intersexuality. So many "pinnicles of feminism" that terfs hold up were racist or homophobic or anti-Semitic. Trans, nonbinary and intersex people are just white cis feminism's shiny new chew toy and they will get bored and pick a new target maybe 10 years from now. Probably disabled people.

I understand the anger many terfs carry but sympathy isnt needed here. Many of them actively ignore actual fact and relative understanding towards anything that questions their veiws and they are HAPPY to uplift racists and anti-semites and homophobes(See jk rowling) as long as their anti-trans messages are still singing. Someone who partners with the enemy to hurt others despite the enemy also supporting the things they supposedly advocate againest has no loyalty or shame. They are happy as long as they have a platform. Terfs would go on fox fucking news watching tucker carlson chuckle under his breath at their feminism and "pro-same sex attraction" ideology as long as they get that soundbite of a feminist not supporting trans pple to make all feminists, trans people and gay pple look fucking stupid.

Jk rowling isnt your fucking friend. Shes a mirror held up to YOUR community. One ive heard echos of sedmients made from outside it being ignored. Your litterally femcels. Ive seen terfs get upset at the ableism and racism within their own community thats upheld by white neurotypical women get utterly ignored. I have so many screenshots of white terfs saying the n word its not even funny yet when a tranny like me shows you evidence of the underlying racism in anti-trans/nonbinary rhetoric, you claim that theirs poc terfs. Ive seen white terfs call me a teepee n****r because i said native american people respected all genders and werent inherently patriarchal. Ive seen white terfs advocate for full on ETHNIC FUCKING CLEANSING of certain poc cultures because they had some patriarchal portions. BRUH. If your scrambling to find some crumb in your community to excuse its actions and cover up the evil everyone already pointed out, you should do some introspection into what your supporting.

Terfs dont even see the humanity in trans people or intersex people. Quoting a jewish youtuber talking about oppression he faced after trump endorsed the nazis in south carolina and said that jewish people and nazis should come to a compromise "when one side will never be happy unless their opposition is completely erraticated, there is no compromise. They simply wont stop until they are all dead or 'rehabilitated'. There is no conversation, there is only the eradication of the victims or the offending group.". Terfs are advocating for trans genocide and detranstion of those who remain. They shrink our numbers to deny us humanity and when they arnt celebrating the high trans suicide statistic, they are minimising it. They are no different from holocaust deniers, they just dont have as much support and the more of their own stances they are willing to let go of to take advantage of their shared opinions with alt-right and fascist platforms, the more their feminist and gay rights mask slip off to reveal the racist, antisemitic and hate filled rot underneath.

[redheadbigshoes]

i think besides internalised lesbophobia, another way to explain the feeling, or at least another way i explain it to myself, is a sort of imposed "lesbian guilt"

the sense that i should be ashamed of being a lesbian, ashamed that i do not and will never pursue having a man in my life, ashamed of being something other than what is expected...

it shouldn't be this way at all but thats the sense i get and that's why alot of the time i think "maybe i am bi but just with a super strong preference for women" because as a female bodied person, "i have to at least give the possibility of a man in my life a chance"

i know thats not true. im a lesbian. a nonbinary lesbian at that. and there is no chance a man will EVER have ANY chance in being part of my life in anyway. and that fills me with more joy and pride and relief than anything in the world

Definitely, and I think a lot of lesbians not only feel that way because we’re not attracted to men but the feeling is very much related to how the word lesbian is stigmatized.

And when I identified as bi there was a time I just thought I had a very strong preference for women, but with time I not only realized but also came to terms with the fact that it was never a strong preference, I’ve never been attracted to men at all.

I think especially afab or female-aligned people struggle more with this because we’re pushed to like men since we’re not even born, so for a lot of us there’s not a possibility to simply not like them. That’s why it can be hard to realize your lack of attraction to men and to accept that.

You have no idea how good it feels to see lesbians sharing positive experiences and feelings regarding their identity, because of our society most feelings and experiences are negative, or not as positive as it could be. Thank you for sharing this and I hope it can help other lesbians who’re struggling with their identity or just need some positivity!

[homosexula]

long post sorry

been thinking about how so many people (even other trans people) subconsciously believe in the gender binary and how it affects their views. like even people who accept nonbinary people view them as being on a spectrum with men and women being the opposite ends of the spectrum, and you can see this belief reflected in the way so many people view trans men and trans women (or amab people and afab people, or transmascs and transfems, or people who experience transmisogyny and those who dont, etc etc) as opposites.

i think this is why people act as though if trans women experience one thing trans men must experience the inverse and vice versa. why people think trans mens experiences must be the opposite of those of trans women.

if you follow this logic, it makes perfect sense to say that because trans women grow up traumatized by the closet and by transmisogyny, that because trans women grow up unable to truly access male privilege despite being viewed as bpys/men by many, and that because so-called male socialization is bullshit, the opposite is true of trans men.

however, as trans men and women are not opposites, that doesnt hold up. the fact that trans women and other trans people who experience transmisogyny are uniquely traumatized by their upbringing and dont experience the freedoms that cis boys do as children does not inherently imply that trans men and tme trans people are not traumatized by their childhood and are in fact allowed those freedoms.

(before i continue i need to clarify that you will never hear me say "female socialization" in any way outside of mocking, and that transmisogyny is absolutely a deeply alienating and horrifying trauma that people who arent trans women/transfems/etc are clearly not subject to)

in other words, trans women not being able to access the freedoms of living as a young cis boy or man does not mean that trans men are raised free from the trauma of being a child who people view as a girl and treat accordingly. and the fact that trans girls instinctively know that harmful messages and ideals directed at women apply to them even if theyre not always individually and specifically directed to them in their personal lives does not mean that trans boys instinctively know these messages do not apply to them even when directly faced with them.

its okay to point out the inherent trauma of being a closeted trans child who is subject to transmisogyny and also point out the trauma of being a closeted trans child who is subject to so-called misdirected misogyny (i dislike this term, i think it implies that if people were simply aware you dont actually identify as a woman they would stop, but i cant think of how else to put it so here we are).

in fact, i would say that the only true gender binary is the binary of cis men vs everyone else. cis men are the only group not directly targeted and traumatized by gender oppression in both childhood and later life. (this is not to say that gender oppression is healthy for cis men either tho obviously but theyre not its direct victim and it can benefit them in many ways while still emotionally poisoning them.)

the point here is that trans women and trans men are not enemies, nor even merely opposites. were all a community and we all experience transphobia and we even all experience gender oppression/misogyny in different but not opposite ways. we need to stop viewing our communities as separate and we need to stop lashing out at each other for having different experiences so that we can work together. and yes ive seen both trans men lash out at trans women and vice versa and thats just gotta stop!!! (and no im not counting trans women and transfems wanting a space that is specifically for people who experience transmisogyny and is free of men as lashing out ofc.) anyway idk how to end this this is just smth ive been ruminating on for a while and wanted to try and articulate lmao feel free to throw your two cents onto this long ass post if you feel so inclined