#and im simply afab but thats so true

[c1trvswurld]

Sometimes I get insecure abt my stomach and thighs but then I press 3 fingers into my stomach and let it sink and and all I can think is "god renaissance period artist would love me" with a sly smirk before I go to sleep

[creacherkeeper]

happy pride everyone

for some reason i was sitting outside this morning and enjoying some shockingly not boiling hot weather and reflecting on a post i had made like ... 12 years ago on here that "blew up" (like 60k notes on early days tumblr) and thinking like. wow i sure do know a lot more about myself now that makes all that make sense but

the post was someone saying like. hey how can you call yourself an atheist and support gay people because gay people go against the concept of evolution. and my reply was like. actually there are gay members of like every social species weve studied it in and i had a bunch of facts laid out about all the different very gay animals of this world (like giraffes having very largely m/m sex)

but now, like 12 years later, i am thinking about human evolution and queer identity and thought it would be fun to talk about. i am by far not an expert and so if there are experts who want to correct me or talk more in depth about this Please jump in but

... why did humans evolve to be queer anyway?

very short answer: because its helpful to raising kids

longer answer: though its debated whether humans are a prosocial or eusocial species, it is agreed upon that early humans cooperatively raised young, including those that they did not personally sire or give birth to, and that we lived in multi-generation communities where younger members would help raise older members offspring, and vice versa

(note: im using the terms amab and afab for human populations potentially pre concepts of gender but work with me here, i dont want to keep repeating genitalia or genomes when those arent always a helpful 1 to 1 either. sex is a spectrum gender is made up etc support intersex rights)

we know that due to fraternal birth order effect (npr link), youre 33% more likely to be gay with each older amab sibling that you have (not 33% total, but 33% more, so like 2% to 2.6 to 3.5 etc). this is true of both amab and afab people with older amab siblings. we also know that a birthing parent having more of a specific antibody makes their children more likely to be gay (and that antibody is not exclusive to but is highly tied to giving birth to amab children)

in addition, evolutionarily speaking, its just as advantageous for your siblings children to do well than it is for yours to. its incredibly rare you would happen to have a very helpful mutation that your siblings dont have. which means that your siblings kids would be about 25% amab grandparent, 25% afab grandparent, and 50% a parent who is unrelated to you. this is exactly the same for your own children

okay, so what does that mean?

to put it simply, it means that having older siblings, specifically older siblings who are more easily able to sire more children, makes you more likely to end up in a same-sex couple, which means you are two adults with no children who are now around to help raise children you are equally invested in the success of than if they were your own

the more older youth or adults you have around to help who are not also using up a bunch of resources by being pregnant and having non-helping-age children, the better off that community's children will be. more people to hunt and gather and create resources like tools, which means everyone prospers, especially the kids

or, to frame it from the opposite view: having gay siblings means your children are more likely to survive and thrive

(kind of funny how conservatives are like gay people shouldnt be around children when the entire point of our evolutionary development was that we were great to have around if you had kids but like. alas)

so, thats the very basic core of it. but you can apply this concept to a lot of queer identities. aroace? working adult around to help who is not bringing in an unrelated partner or having kids. trans? you now either have an m/f couple who can fill two different social niches without having kids, or you have a gay couple who is able to do more varied physical tasks whether or not they do have kids. bi people may have kids or may not, or their children may be more spread out if they have partners of different sexes over time

not to mention you kind of have some built in, ready to go parents in the case that another community member dies, and there are now orphans that need raising. its a lot harder for someone whos already a parent to take on more children, as opposed to an adult couple who doesnt have any

so yeah :) were queer because we were helpful to have in communities and allowed everyone, but especially youth, to prosper and thrive

tl;dr: queer people were an evolutionary advantage to have in an early community because we were helping-age members who were able to cooperatively raise young and take on orphans without using up resources on birthing and raising our own young

yay science :o) happy pride everyone!!!

[surpriserose]

hii !!! what does TME mean ? /Genq (Sorry if I said or used anything wrong English isn't my first language <33)

TME stands for transmisogyny exempt basically its just shorthand for im not a trans woman and dont experience transmisogyny. Versus TMA which is transmisogyny affected.

Ive had people ask this in bad faith before and im not saying you are but its an explanation for why im going into more detail here. People who are TME are all cis people, trans men, and many nonbinary people (though there are TMA nonbinary people because not every nonbinary person is the same) so if someone tells you its just a new way to find out your assigned gender at birth thats simply not true. There are AMAB and AFAB people who are TME. If people also try and tell you its a way to find out your genitals that is also not true, as again all cis people are TME and there are trans women who have vaginas but at still TMA. Its not a statement of judgement, but just a way of identifying a social position. The reason trans women created this language is to highlight that transmisogyny is not limited to cis people, that trans people who are not trans women also have transmisogyny to deal with. If you want a general overview of how transmisogyny operates and why trans women and allies have adopted this language, then I would recommend Julia Serano's whipping girl and her other writings, as well as other transfeminists.

[genderkoolaid]

on that last post and growing up ND: i felt that SO HARD. that made me think, not only did my neurodivergence effect my "girlhood" experiences but so did being fat. i often joke w my friends saying 'im afab as in assigned fat at birth' but its pretty genuine! my experiences are so different from "typical" girlhood bc of my fatness, my being fat almost entirely stripped me of being a girl as a child. people wouldn't see me as a boy or a girl, to them i was just fat and gross. i was never ""female socialized"" because i was simply treated like a freak.

i think thats why whenever people try to argue that all trans people (especially transmasc people) had those gendered experiences make me so frustrated, because its simply not true for anyone else bodily marginalized. fat kids, black kids, disabled kids, etc. are so commonly stripped of their identity, including any "typical afab/amab experiences"

!!!! So many little things we do affects how we are gendered by society. I've heard so many people w different marginalizations talk about how they were alienated from gender in unique ways because of it!

[butch-bakugo]

Thats it, im talking about the perisexist aka intersexphobic side of terfs that needs to be addressed more often.

Like terfs fucking hate drag and call anyone, trans or cis, male or female, participating in it "sexual perverts" for wanting to expose children to it but claim you'll die a thousand deaths for gnc women? Bs. Drag is just gender nonconformity on fuckin steroids and it's not inherently sexual. Like why is a woman in a suit only ok to you if she walks around stateing that she is a woman but not ok if she dosent? Like yall are so trigger happy, you shoot at cis butch lesbians with short blue hair who arent actively talking about womanhood and vaginas and accuse her of being an evil tranny whose either a traitor to her fellow woman or a "tim" trying to identify as woman and making a mockery of gnc women.

Yall are so caught up on fuckin genitalia that you dont see the numerous poc cultures, non-christian religions, gnc people and intersex people you drown in your wake who were never aginest feminism but are too "trans-similar" for you to chill tf out. Ive had people tell me im "obviously a non-passing trans woman" just because im intersex with a beard.

Every single time ive addressed intersex people who can not, no matter how much you try, be sorted into male or female, ive been told we dont matter. Intersex people DO MATTER. Your not helping anyone but perisex, hormonally stable cis white women. Hormonally intersex afabs arnt gonna fucking want you, your telling them they dont matter. Physically intersex people raised as women arnt gonna want you, your telling them they dont fucking matter. Hyperandrogonious cis women dont want shit to do with you because your already accusing her of "clearly being a trans woman" because she can naturally grow a beard. The only femininity and women who benefit from terf shit are cis white gc perisex women.

Im not gonna throw away my native culture's gender variance for some white terf just because most white cultures are patriarchal. Im not gonna throw out my genderfluid religious practices for some catholic raised "anti-theist" terf who is one sentence away from saying islamophobic and anti-Semitic slurs just because she believes all muslims and jewish people are sexist and follow the sexist portions of their holy text.

I mean fuck, ive seen terfs advocate for hormonally intersex women to TAKE ESTROGEN so they look less "male" and act less "male". Ive seen them advocate for intersex (mostly afab) babies with intersex genitalia to go through Fgm, a thing they VEHEMENTLY hate just so shes more "female" and can fit their boxes better. Ive seen them say that testosterone makes you inherently violent and angry without dareing to see the actual fucking medical evidence that thats entirely untrue. Ive seen them adovocate for putting 10 year old sons of female rape victims out of shelters because "hes a man at that point" and "other women's safety comes first".... Over a hypothetical and soon to be hypothermic 10 year old boy. Some of them fully and shamelessly base their ideology around genuinely killing all men and male fetuses like... Fuck dude. I think you might need some therapy. Like i get feeling that way, im a victim of many men in my life and if i could choose a world where i can only interact with everyone but cis men, id choose it but im not advocating for the complete genocide of an entire group of people.

The way they talk about trans people smells all to familiar to any group thats gone through genocide and governmental oppression. Its similar to gay people, disabled people, women, poc, non-christians, everyone can see abit of the bigotry in their argument they see in their own oppressors and that should be a real big flashing sign that maybe terfism... Isnt the way to go. When i explain to people that radical feminism can be trans inclusive and its simply and active and deeper form of feminism, i get laughed at by both sides but its true. Tirfs do exist and they include trans and intersex and nonbinary people of all kinds and yes, that includes amabs and many progressives today would fall under that label. But heres the thing, modern day and previous forms of feminism in america have always benefited white cishet women. Susan b fucking anthony supported slavery and did not advocate for black women to be able to vote. Anti-gender variance ignores many poc cultures rich and accepting histories of transgenderism, nonbinarism and intersexuality. So many "pinnicles of feminism" that terfs hold up were racist or homophobic or anti-Semitic. Trans, nonbinary and intersex people are just white cis feminism's shiny new chew toy and they will get bored and pick a new target maybe 10 years from now. Probably disabled people.

I understand the anger many terfs carry but sympathy isnt needed here. Many of them actively ignore actual fact and relative understanding towards anything that questions their veiws and they are HAPPY to uplift racists and anti-semites and homophobes(See jk rowling) as long as their anti-trans messages are still singing. Someone who partners with the enemy to hurt others despite the enemy also supporting the things they supposedly advocate againest has no loyalty or shame. They are happy as long as they have a platform. Terfs would go on fox fucking news watching tucker carlson chuckle under his breath at their feminism and "pro-same sex attraction" ideology as long as they get that soundbite of a feminist not supporting trans pple to make all feminists, trans people and gay pple look fucking stupid.

Jk rowling isnt your fucking friend. Shes a mirror held up to YOUR community. One ive heard echos of sedmients made from outside it being ignored. Your litterally femcels. Ive seen terfs get upset at the ableism and racism within their own community thats upheld by white neurotypical women get utterly ignored. I have so many screenshots of white terfs saying the n word its not even funny yet when a tranny like me shows you evidence of the underlying racism in anti-trans/nonbinary rhetoric, you claim that theirs poc terfs. Ive seen white terfs call me a teepee n****r because i said native american people respected all genders and werent inherently patriarchal. Ive seen white terfs advocate for full on ETHNIC FUCKING CLEANSING of certain poc cultures because they had some patriarchal portions. BRUH. If your scrambling to find some crumb in your community to excuse its actions and cover up the evil everyone already pointed out, you should do some introspection into what your supporting.

Terfs dont even see the humanity in trans people or intersex people. Quoting a jewish youtuber talking about oppression he faced after trump endorsed the nazis in south carolina and said that jewish people and nazis should come to a compromise "when one side will never be happy unless their opposition is completely erraticated, there is no compromise. They simply wont stop until they are all dead or 'rehabilitated'. There is no conversation, there is only the eradication of the victims or the offending group.". Terfs are advocating for trans genocide and detranstion of those who remain. They shrink our numbers to deny us humanity and when they arnt celebrating the high trans suicide statistic, they are minimising it. They are no different from holocaust deniers, they just dont have as much support and the more of their own stances they are willing to let go of to take advantage of their shared opinions with alt-right and fascist platforms, the more their feminist and gay rights mask slip off to reveal the racist, antisemitic and hate filled rot underneath.

[redheadbigshoes]

i think besides internalised lesbophobia, another way to explain the feeling, or at least another way i explain it to myself, is a sort of imposed "lesbian guilt"

the sense that i should be ashamed of being a lesbian, ashamed that i do not and will never pursue having a man in my life, ashamed of being something other than what is expected...

it shouldn't be this way at all but thats the sense i get and that's why alot of the time i think "maybe i am bi but just with a super strong preference for women" because as a female bodied person, "i have to at least give the possibility of a man in my life a chance"

i know thats not true. im a lesbian. a nonbinary lesbian at that. and there is no chance a man will EVER have ANY chance in being part of my life in anyway. and that fills me with more joy and pride and relief than anything in the world

Definitely, and I think a lot of lesbians not only feel that way because we’re not attracted to men but the feeling is very much related to how the word lesbian is stigmatized.

And when I identified as bi there was a time I just thought I had a very strong preference for women, but with time I not only realized but also came to terms with the fact that it was never a strong preference, I’ve never been attracted to men at all.

I think especially afab or female-aligned people struggle more with this because we’re pushed to like men since we’re not even born, so for a lot of us there’s not a possibility to simply not like them. That’s why it can be hard to realize your lack of attraction to men and to accept that.

You have no idea how good it feels to see lesbians sharing positive experiences and feelings regarding their identity, because of our society most feelings and experiences are negative, or not as positive as it could be. Thank you for sharing this and I hope it can help other lesbians who’re struggling with their identity or just need some positivity!

[homosexula]

long post sorry

been thinking about how so many people (even other trans people) subconsciously believe in the gender binary and how it affects their views. like even people who accept nonbinary people view them as being on a spectrum with men and women being the opposite ends of the spectrum, and you can see this belief reflected in the way so many people view trans men and trans women (or amab people and afab people, or transmascs and transfems, or people who experience transmisogyny and those who dont, etc etc) as opposites.

i think this is why people act as though if trans women experience one thing trans men must experience the inverse and vice versa. why people think trans mens experiences must be the opposite of those of trans women.

if you follow this logic, it makes perfect sense to say that because trans women grow up traumatized by the closet and by transmisogyny, that because trans women grow up unable to truly access male privilege despite being viewed as bpys/men by many, and that because so-called male socialization is bullshit, the opposite is true of trans men.

however, as trans men and women are not opposites, that doesnt hold up. the fact that trans women and other trans people who experience transmisogyny are uniquely traumatized by their upbringing and dont experience the freedoms that cis boys do as children does not inherently imply that trans men and tme trans people are not traumatized by their childhood and are in fact allowed those freedoms.

(before i continue i need to clarify that you will never hear me say "female socialization" in any way outside of mocking, and that transmisogyny is absolutely a deeply alienating and horrifying trauma that people who arent trans women/transfems/etc are clearly not subject to)

in other words, trans women not being able to access the freedoms of living as a young cis boy or man does not mean that trans men are raised free from the trauma of being a child who people view as a girl and treat accordingly. and the fact that trans girls instinctively know that harmful messages and ideals directed at women apply to them even if theyre not always individually and specifically directed to them in their personal lives does not mean that trans boys instinctively know these messages do not apply to them even when directly faced with them.

its okay to point out the inherent trauma of being a closeted trans child who is subject to transmisogyny and also point out the trauma of being a closeted trans child who is subject to so-called misdirected misogyny (i dislike this term, i think it implies that if people were simply aware you dont actually identify as a woman they would stop, but i cant think of how else to put it so here we are).

in fact, i would say that the only true gender binary is the binary of cis men vs everyone else. cis men are the only group not directly targeted and traumatized by gender oppression in both childhood and later life. (this is not to say that gender oppression is healthy for cis men either tho obviously but theyre not its direct victim and it can benefit them in many ways while still emotionally poisoning them.)

the point here is that trans women and trans men are not enemies, nor even merely opposites. were all a community and we all experience transphobia and we even all experience gender oppression/misogyny in different but not opposite ways. we need to stop viewing our communities as separate and we need to stop lashing out at each other for having different experiences so that we can work together. and yes ive seen both trans men lash out at trans women and vice versa and thats just gotta stop!!! (and no im not counting trans women and transfems wanting a space that is specifically for people who experience transmisogyny and is free of men as lashing out ofc.) anyway idk how to end this this is just smth ive been ruminating on for a while and wanted to try and articulate lmao feel free to throw your two cents onto this long ass post if you feel so inclined