#and im okay with that. but things are just a lot right now
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
brrr
seungmin x fem!reader
⊹ ₊ ݁ . ❅ synopsis: friends with benefits either ends in love or indifference. ⸝⸝⸝ warning: fwb, reader and seungmin are toxic/avoidant/mean, not too much aftercare at all, mentions of menstruation, period pain, slight spit kink, mentions of no prep, no protection, creampie(s), oral (f!rec), lots of kissing, minho side character, I probably did forget some this time im so sorry
⊹ ₊ ݁ . ❅ wc: 13.5k ❅ . ݁ ₊ ⊹
❅ ⸝⸝⸝ now playing: brrr- kim petras an: this was not my best work pls forgive me ;-; ive had this idea since august last year and im glad I could get it down- this is not proofread im so sorry for any mistakes that you come acorss :p
[m.list]
The two of you weren't friends; you didn’t even share any acquaintances, classes, or hobbies. It was better for the both of you that no one knew the other existed; there was no need to make things messy with questions. It was a one-night stand that turned into two. Six months later, the two of you were still inviting each other over for no-strings-attached sex.
You remember that second night when Seungmin rolled out of bed already halfway to putting his jeans back on when you asked, “Are you leaving?” The look he threw over his shoulder was cruel to anyone else, the one that said he would kick a girl while she was down in the dumps for him, put an end to any relationship with complete certainty, and never look back.
“I don’t want to sit and cuddle, I told you that already. I don’t do relationships,”
“I wasn't asking to cuddle you idiot, I wanted to make sure you would lock the door on your way out,” you were sitting up in bed the sheet halfway up your body, “I need to shower and I don’t care enough to walk you out again,”
Seungmin had huffed a laugh tugging his shirt on, “You didn’t walk me out last time,” he looked down at his phone flipping through his calendar, “Does Thursday at three work?”
“Are you really trying to schedule sex like we’re a forty-year-old married couple?”
“Yes, does three work?” he repeats himself looking bored.
“I have a chem lab then, I'll be here at seven,”
“Okay, I'll just meet you here,”
And if you didn’t see Seungmin all week you would be sure to find him standing at your door Thursday at seven, hands in the pockets of his jeans leaning against the door frame waiting as you unlocked your door. Your standing dick appointment was penned into your schedule along with any other time one of you felt an itch. It wasn't past either of you to text randomly in the middle of the night a quick you up?
In minutes Seungmin would be in your bed, on your couch, over the countertop, or even right at the front door. Neither of you really wasted time with kissing or prep, most of the time Seungmin’s spit was the most lube to help with the stretch of taking him so fast after he came in, it was a month in when he brought over a bottle of lube with him to keep in your nightstand. “look what I got you”
One of the nicer things he had done besides make you cum but you only ever used it if you made it to the bed. The only times he had his mouth on you was to keep his moans down after a noise complaint from your neighbors. Every sound pressed right against your pulse.
Seungmin often came over when he was angry, always upset about one thing or another. Pressing your face into the mattress as he pounded into you, complaining about his classes, his roommates, and someone getting his coffee order wrong. Any slight towards him sent him right to your door, his perfect crutch to getting his anger out. It didn’t matter much to you either way as long as you had at least one or two orgasms by the time he left you were fine to be used without mercy.
It was easy to ignore him, push everything away until he was there in front of you, leaning on the door frame already hard just knowing you would pull it open. But if you weren't in the perimeter of your apartment neither of you even looked at the other besides a sideways glance you would share with any stranger you walk past.
It's how you could stand in the same line for coffee, a few feet away chatting with your friends while he picked up his order. Just a boy with a scowl on his face as he sipped from the still steaming up. You didn't even look at him as he brought his cup back up, cutting your friend in line just to complain.
“He's always so rude,” she mutters as soon as Seungmin has gone, rushing out without a blink your way, taking his newly redone cup of coffee with him. “He was arguing with our professor the other week about the context of some passage. Went on and on and it was so awkward because he was kinda right but neither of them would drop it,”
Seungmin had come over that day, the door slamming behind him when he finally came in, no questions as he pushed you down onto your bed, not even stopping to help pull down your shorts. “Stupid fucking prick, doesn't even know how to properly teach a class he's paid to teach-”
But you just shrug now, arms crossed holding your coat like a blanket you could throw over your lies. You didn't care what Seungmin got up to when you weren't around, but it made sense that he was angry even outside the walls of your apartment. How he got through his fits before you wasn't your concern but you're sure he did have some other form of release. And now you knew he would be right back in your bed when you got home. Because it didn't matter how small the inconvenience was.
And you were right, the second you turned the corner you could see his stupidly big black car sitting outside in the parking spot with your apartment number on it, unused when you spent most of your time biking or walking the short distance to campus.
“It's fucking freezing outside,” was the only thing he said as he watched you roll your bike into its spot next to the entryway, your keys jingling as you pulled them from your coat pocket, twisting the doorknob and pushing the door open.
“Is it the cold weather of the bad coffee that has you back here,” you ask, your smirk only making him roll his eyes. He lets you get out of your outerwear, watches you slowly unzip, the sight less tantalizing and more annoying. He knew you liked to play with him, especially when you witnessed the problem for which he came over in the first place.
“Shut up,” he walked right past you to your bedroom, pushing open the door to see your half-made bed. He moved around like he knew where everything was placed and located. You're sure that if you asked him to do the laundry he would know where to fold and put away your clothes, even where to put the basket and fabric softener when done.
You follow, shimmying out of your jeans before he's on you, pushing you against the wall and pulling your panties to the side. His fingers are cold and he runs them through your folds, your body jolting forward until your face and chest are the only thing keeping you up. “Warning next time?” but if he's going to warn you it's the first drag of his tip from your clit to your entrance right before he slams himself in. hands digging into your hips and he curses, sinking in all the way so that there is no room for you to get away, no way for your to fuck back onto him.
“No,” he grunts, pulling out only an inch before slamming back in, picking up a steady pace that has you biting your lip, hands sliding down the wall searching for purchase as he holds you in place. You lean forward so that your shoulder can keep you up, hand snaking down to rub at your clit because you know he won't do it right now when he's so focused on getting off.
He’s quick, grunting into your ear and you're right there at the edge ready to fall over when he pulls out. His cum dripping down your lower back after he gives a few short tugs of his slick cock, your whine an exasperated expectation when he's this fed up. “Seung-” he cuts you off with his fingers, shoving them back into your waiting cunt, pumping at the same pace he had been at before, letting you finish the second he curled the digits to meet the perfect spot inside you.
It's a rush of a high before he pulls away, fingers in his mouth before he zips his pants back up. It didn't matter to you if he got you off when you had your hands to help. Neither of you was past using the other like it was nothing. You had done it before and you're sure it would happen again. Late nights where you called over Seungmin to eat you out when you just couldn't get off, toys doing little for you when you wanted someone right there between your legs. There were plenty of times you sucked him off without wanting anything in return, but finishing now felt like a bit of a gift.
“Sorry,” he huffs, less an apology but a way to fill the space.
“You don't have to apologize,” you try to look at the stain he's left on you, the warmth already cooling against your ass, “I needed a shower anyway,”
To anyone else it would have felt cold, the dismissal as clean cut in your eyes as you waved him away. But it's the exact reason why you liked Seungmin, if even a little bit. He wasn't one to get attached, less so one to linger; hover around like the ghost of past regrets. The two of you knew exactly what this was, down to the way you turned around with a small goodbye, his in turn response just as cold, transactional. You would have it no other way.
You jumped into the shower after hearing the door close, Seungmin always remembering to turn the first lock so that you would only have to deadbolt it when you were done. The routine down faster than it took you to memorize your class schedule. He was a constant you knew would always be around, one that you even liked from time to time when he could hold up a conversation longer than a few words.
It hasn't always been like this, not that first night you met. The conversation flowed, aided by the drinks in hand, tucked into the corner of a frat party neither of you wanted to be at. It was a glaring contrast to the second night when you had called each other back. Less wanting and needy under the LED lights half hitting your faces and more like tonight. It had been one of the only times he had kissed you, lips chasing yours when you pulled away, hands greedy to get a feel of your body, so new and undiscovered to him. “I don't do relationships,” had slipped from both of your mouths between kisses, his apology then for feeling as if he had cum too soon and not because he had pulled out to release on your favorite lace panties.
But it didn't matter, you didn't need an apology when he had stayed hard, finding himself back in you without stopping, making you feel things you never thought possible, finding your moans in his mouth, as he echoed back the perfect choir to match. It had been the best night you had had with someone, the one you turned to when you needed help to get off. And it wasn't as if you hadn't had great times with Seungmin after that, it was only different because the two of you knew who you were.
You could see into each other and you didn't have to hide. Somehow you had stripped down to the basic raw instincts of each other, no need for the added layers of emotions when all you wanted was everything physical. Neither of you had to hide from the other when it would be no use in the first place, the two of you looking into a mirror that shouted back the same image.
It's why when he came back hours later, the knock on your door had the same rhythm he always found, you didn't think to even turn him away. “It almost seems like you missed me,” his eye roll, a welcomed response.
“Shut up,” but he couldn't deny the way he had already been hard just thinking about driving over to your place. The idea of someone being so open to taking him whenever he saw fit was something he found addicting, something he wouldn't admit to anyone except you but never in words. The confession tucked in between his moans as you sucked him off, the warm, wet skill you have over him bringing him to your door over and over again.
He did miss you, in some strange way when there was no sex and he was sitting at your doorstep waiting or in the short time it took him to get up and leave, the small conversations shared before you got in the shower he liked the solace he found. The sex was an added bonus nonetheless. But he wouldn't be able to deny that he liked how easy it was to just be himself when around you. It was something he avoided thinking about too much but crept up on nights like this where you just wiped the corner of your mouth and sat next to him on the couch not kicking him out as you turned on the TV.
The two of you could sit in silence that is not strained, no questions asked when the air is still. It was peace he didn't know that he needed; didn't even know that he wanted. And yet he always went home.
Because when you woke up, tucked in on the couch right where he left you it wasn't surprising. You just picked yourself up and got ready for school all over again. Bundling up in an extra layer since the seasons were changing, the bike ride numbed your face and ears. Your lecture halls were stuffy with the heat turned up enough to make you flushed, stuck in a roundabout feeling as if you were defrosting. Your partner already waiting in the seats you had picked out at the beginning of the semester, assigned together at random to work together on your final assignment of the quarter.
Minho was always on time, scrolling through his phone as he waited for you to join, coat thrown over the back of his chair. Your exasperated ‘hi,’ enough to turn his head in your direction, a soft genuine smile gracing his lips, the the edge of his mouth turned up.
“I only got a few words in on the doc last night, the research isn't going too well,” he confesses while you pull out your laptop from your bag, setting it up once you have taken your seat in the unbearably uncomfortable chair.
“I only got a few more lines in before i had to take a break, maybe we can work later if you're free,” it was usually how things ended up going, you got most of your work done after class while sitting over coffee growing cold. The work slowly devolved into giggling over stories you shared together. But you two always fell right back into working.
“I'm free after my lit class, around three if that works,” it's how you ended up back at the cafe, your usual spot occupied by your laptops and books, research underway as you tried again and again to locate the proper evidence you needed. You needed Minho there in times like this to be the soundboard to bounce ideas off of, making sure that your topics lined up and you didn't have the wrong points being made.
“I can never tell if I'm doing the citations correctly,” Minho muttered, blowing a puff of air out enough to tousle his dark bangs. The two of you had been sitting here for well over two hours, the sun just starting to set from the wintertime. It made the whole cafe feel warm now that most of the bustle of the campus was dying down, everyone just milling around doing work, muttering with their friends, the hum heavy in the air.
“Let me see,” the table was long, filled with all the books and empty cups you two had yet to clear so you got up to lean over his shoulder to check.
Minho sat with his hands in his lap, letting you look over the work he had done poorly, “what have you done?” The words are mostly a giggle at how messed up he got the format, every line was at a different indention, nothing lining up properly at all.
“I have no idea,” he giggles right back, his hand rubbing down his face as he tries to hold back his laugh, “I really didn't want you to see it but it got too bad,”
“I could have helped when you first had a question,” you remind him, leaning over the side of him to get the keyboard in place for you to help fix. It was something you would have done in the cramped library closer to your lecture hall, the larger study rooms always taken up leaving the single cubicles available, the two of you squeezing into one if you weren't lucky enough to find one together. It's why you preferred the cafe, so much space to look at everything you needed and apparently the free entertainment.
Pushing open the door, Seungmin waltzed in, eyes glued to his phone before he ran right into the poor soul who happened to be walking right out at the same time. The crash is loud enough to turn everyone's heads, Seungmin's loud “fuck” echoing in the newly silenced room.
He was drenched in coffee, the front of his cream-colored sweater only showing off the river of the stain for everyone to see it. The perfect design you would wear for a bad day.
You're frozen leaning over Minho, his hand resting hot on your lower back to steady you. It's the first thing Seungmin sees when he looks up from his soaked sweater, his lip curling in as he holds back his frustration, balling his fists, shaking his head. It's a rush of apologies from the coffeeless person, Seungmin waving him away without the need for the theatrics, what's done was done, and now he's pissed.
Minho laughs, loud and shocking in your ear, cute teeth on display for the cafe as you gape at him. “Bad day?” he asks, and unlike the rest of the cafe who tries to turn away, shy eyes from the mess made, Minho only racks his eyes up and down the front of Seungmin.
“Now made worse,” seungmin mutters, not even looking at you as you stand up straight, Minho's hand leaving you as he pushes his hair away from his brow.
“Oh this is my roommate by the way, seungmin this is my project partner, the one i was telling you about,” he gestures between the two of you, sharing your name, seungmin only sharing you a brief glance.
“Hi,” “Hello,” it was probably the few times you two had shared niceties, even when he watched you walk up your front steps he was quick to complain about the wait and you were quick to tell him to fuck off. But it was clear Seungmin was surprised to see you now with his roommate.
Seungmin hadn't even caught on that it was you who was Minho's partner until that very moment, seeing you lean over him, his hand on you like he was comfortable enough to even do so. He listened when Minho talked but clearly not close enough to realize it was you. Now not only soggy and angry he was able to admit the hint of jealousy he was feeling at the sight of the two of you. If not jealousy, annoyance that he hadn't caught on, annoyance that the two of you seemed so comfortable, so able to be seen in public.
But the two of you had made the rule without thinking much about what it would do in the long run, no need to go on and on thinking about some kind of claim he had on you when in turn you two had no claim over each other at all. But it didn't keep him from feeling the crinkle of unease in his stomach, the feeling so similar to anger that it was easy to feel the emotions flip-flop with each other. “We are just about to finish up and I was wondering if you could take me home,”
“Don't you have your own ride?” Seungmin asks, Minho was the only other one who had a car in the apartment they shared. It was the point of contention every night who got street parking and who got the lone parking spot by the front door.
“I dropped it off at the shop before class and just walked the way, and it's too cold to walk back now,” Minho shrugs,“wait dont you bike home?” you've moved back to your side of the table, slowly packing your things as they talk, seungmin ignoring you.
“Yeah, but I'm used to it, when it snows I'll catch a ride with a friend or just walk once it's settled,”
“I could give you a ride whenever you wanted,” and he's so obviously flirting it's like you're caught. Seungmin is watching you, looking for your response as you blink at Minho who is smiling so sweetly the corner of his mouth dipped just right to turn any girl to agree just to see that smile again.
“Flirting when I'm right here?” Seungmin flicks Minho's shoulder, and you can feel your face heat, as Minho rolls his eyes. It should feel small, like a joke, Seungmin poking fun at Minho in front of a girl he likes, but it feels like Seungmin trying to tug you from Minho’s hands. The obvious glint in Seungmin’s eyes could be written off by his bad day but you know exactly what it means, if anyone knew what he looked like when pissed it was you.
“Maybe i'll take you up on it for now youre right i should be back home it's getting late and i don't like to make the trip in the dark,” it's all you have to say to get away from really answering in front of seungmin, your bad thrown over your shoulder as you wave bye to them, “its was nice meeting you, see you tomorrow minho,” seungmin dipping his head in a stiff nod as you leave.
It wasn't too long after that there was a knock on your door, the first words out of your mouth teasing him, “Is someone upset?” he doesn't even try to answer with his usual bite, his hands in your hair before he's nipping your neck, leaving a trail of wanting bites and muttered words you can't grasp. The door is kicked shut behind him as you clutch his shirt, still warm under his open coat as you stumble back.
He was needy, hard already, and grinding into you as you fell back on the couch. His hands were hot, working off your shirt, not stopping to worry over your bra as he shoved his hands down into your sweatpants, sliding them down your legs along with your panties.
It's rare that Seungmin comes over to eat you out, not unless you send him a text to head your way. Now with his lips on your clit it shocks your system, thighs trying to close in around his ears, hands twisting into his hair as he sucks. He doesn't even have to try to get you wet, he's lapping at your cunt like he had been starved for you, the lewd sounds only making you shake. It's when he slips his fingers in, curling them just right that you cry out, moaning without warning that the noises would even leave your lips.
“Wait-” It feels too soon to finish, like everything is hurtling towards you as you feel the tightness in your stomach burns. You don't want him to stop now when you're crashing as he pulls his mouth away, thumb working over your clit to help ease you down from your hair, the fingers still inside you, pumping slowly as he watches the way you tremble for him.
“Tell me you want it,” chin still slick with your wetness, his tongue darting out to taste you on the edge of his lips. Your heart is beating in your ears, so caught off guard that you're stumbling to keep up but Seungmin is right there tugging you closer to where you need to be. His thumb which had been so slow is now replaced by his persistent circles, speeding up the longer it takes you to answer. “Tell me,”
“I want it,” you can't even remember what it was a few minutes ago opening the door for him, teasing only to be teased right back, now you're looking for anything to hold onto, searching for the right words as your mind spins.
“Beg me for it,” he pulls his fingers from inside you, placing them on his tongue as he soaks in your desperate whimpers.
“Please-” hips moving on their own, you're grinding forward trying to catch more pressure as he slows down his circling fingers on your clit. “Please Seungmin- I want it, please,”
Free hand pushing down his pants he releases his aching cock, pre-cum bubbling up from the tip, thumb rolling over his slit to catch the release. “Louder,” his eyes are hooded as he watches, so dark you are sure that you'd fall into them if you didn't know what this was. But you couldn't care about that, not when he was demanding something so little of you.
“Please- please Seungmin,” his lashes flutter at the sound, his name on your lips like an antidote to his frozen limbs. He moves so that he can sink into you, falling over your body as the two of you gasp at the entrance, the stretch gloriously needed to leave you mindless.
He doesn't even realize he's doing it, nose to yours, breathing in the same air, gasping on the same breath, lips just brushing and before he can help himself he's kissing you, sloppy and consuming. The taste of you fills your senses as he finds it in him to devour you. Your arms wrap around his neck, hands pulling on his hair as you let him take control as if you ever had an ounce of it before.
Every drag of his cock only draws out both of your hums, the slow pace only speeding up as Seungmin’s need grows. He had only been here yesterday, felt the warmth and squeeze of your cunt less than twenty-four hours ago, and yet even he could admit he was addicted. He needed a long fuck, that drawn-out ache working into his bones the whole way to dropping off Minho back at their shared apartment. The only thought on his mind was the way you said his friend's name instead of his, how many times had you uttered his name? How many times would you do it again if you had the opportunity? He wanted you to think of him in the way he was starting to think of you.
Not in the way he had imagined, he knew I wouldn't fall into loving you easily as horrible as it sounded. Seungmin had come to the conclusion that he wouldn't find anyone to love, but you…you were an obsession, that jealousy twisting around his mind, burning down every rational thought until he couldn't help but need to hear you say it, say his name, over and over again.
And you didn't stop saying it, the reverberation of it pressed to his lips as he tried to hold back his moans but it was impossible when you felt this good under him. He didn't even realize it was happening, the kissing, until he was cumming, his breaths uneven, whines pressed right into your mouth as you came along with him. The warmth of his cum spilling out of you with each added thrust he made, his face pressed into your neck to try and hide what he had done.
His mind was clearing, from the jealousy, from the orgasm, from you, and he needed to leave.
It felt so unceremonious; so quick to move from passion to regret. He shouldn't be here, not when it wasn't just anger getting him off but jealousy, unreasonable jealousy that felt heavy and sick in his stomach. He had no reason to be jealous, not now when the both of you had made it clear that if the other found a partner you would stop seeing each other. That the two of you would let the other know when it was even close to happening. And maybe that's why he was angry, not over the fact someone had the opportunity to get you in bed but because it would mean he would be left alone with nothing but his hand.
Since being with you in whatever way it was you had, he hasn't even tried to look for anyone else because he didn't have to and he didn't necessarily want to. He liked the ease at which you put him. Even now, pulling out of you and cleaning you up it felt so normal until your phone lit up on the table. Minho's name flashed across the screen for the small second it needed to let you know he had texted you. So late at night when you don't usually text your project partner.
You didn't even see it, too busy throwing your clothes in the hamper, warming up your shower, and asking if Seungmin wanted to hop in with you. It was an offer, not a plea he knew as much.
He could still feel your kiss, the thrumming of the memory scaring him more than he would like to admit. So much so that he's gone with a wave, ditched from the situation like it was the first week of seeing each other and not two years deep.
You knew he would do it, the second he kissed you he would be gone. It was rare he made the slip up but it wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last time and each time you knew he would be out the door no matter how much you told him it didn't matter.
It was something you had trained yourself not to be hurt over but it's not as if you didn't see it getting easier with time but it only got disappointing. Seungmin had only stayed over a few times in your bed, sleeping over without realizing he was doing it, not realizing that you two found each other sharing a meal over the course of a few episodes of TV, sitting around on your phones, sending each other videos you found funny because he was right there and on your mind.
So you climbed into bed feeling drained and wishing for just one time you could spend it tucked back into it, not even cuddled, with him after a night like this where it seemed like he wanted you so bad he couldn't stop himself from taking and taking. But you didn't care, or it's what you liked to tell yourself, you had signed up for it, knew what you were asking for, and had enjoyed it, loved the rules you had fit so snugly against, all until it felt like a straight jacket you could pry yourself out of.
It kept you up most of the night, the chill of the air outside sinking in between your floorboards making your bed seem warmer than it really was, wanting you to stay in it and skip the day so that you didn't have to face the ride to school. But you fell into the monotony of the day, dressing and making sure your bag was packed with everything you would need for the day. Minho has texted you to tell you he wouldn't be in today because of his car, needing to take it to get checked out across town. It meant you could leave early and work in the comfort of your own home but it also meant you had to keep yourself accountable in getting the work done alone.
It's halfway to campus that the first snowfall starts, the fat white puffs coming down like rain; fast and hard. You have to keep your annoyance in check at the sight. It was snowing so much earlier in the year, that the hassle of finding someone to take you on the worst days already makes you upset. You can feel the scowl set in on your brow, the tilt of your mouth taking its shape. It's how Seungmin sees you, locking up your bike with your hands in fingerless gloves, spinning the combination, the snowflakes catching in your hair. Scarf tucked close to your chin, nose scrunched as the wind sends a flurry of snow in your direction.
The decision is easy, he knows when your class is out, your schedule memorized just like you had his down. And when the day is over, your last lecture out he waits next to the bike rack not caring if anyone sees him. Leaning right against your bike he wipes away the build up of snow that had already accumulated. You don't even notice him, head down as you try to avoid the breeze.
“It's snowing,” the sound of his voice startling you, the obvious observation making you irritable.
“I know,” you tug on the lock, fingers already falling numb as you put in your combination. The second it clicks seungmin’s hands are on the handlebars, pulling it from its spot, and rolling it away from you. “What the hell-” but you don't stop him, following after as he leads you to his car, already on and warmed.
The suv was completely oversized and obnoxious, the kind of car that was made for families or people with entourage, not a college student. But it was Seungmin’s prized possession, the only thing he put all his care into, and he was proud of it. You had made fun of it before, the spot in front of your apartment hardly big enough to fit it between the other two much smaller cars next to it. But he took no criticism of it, completely blacked out with its heated seats. It was a blessing when the road's reflection of the winter sun bounced off the blinding snow.
You had only been in it a few times, that first night being one of them, his hand on your thigh as he drove you home. Even now it was a welcome warmth as you got in, body instantly feeling the effect of defrosting as you buckled in, seungmin lifting your bike to place in the trunk like it was something he did all the time and not the first occurrence.
And for the first time, the air was stale between you two, not the usual understanding, not after last night when both of you couldn't get the feel of each other's lips to go away. The radio was low, your hands twisting together as an excuse to do something besides sit still; eyes dancing over the oncoming snow, raining down harder than it had been earlier. The soft thumps of the windshield wipers keep up with the pace of your thoughts, say something- don't, say something- don't.
It's not until he pulls into his usual spot that you speak up, the light, “thank you,” fading into the background. The wind is howling, beating the flakes against the windshield at a rate the wipers can't keep up with, the inside of the car keeping the two of you in a reverse snowglobe, watching the world shake as you ask, “do you want to wait it out inside?”
“If you don't mind,” he doesn't even share a glance your way, eyes passing you to look out the window before looking over his shoulder into the backseat, “we can just leave the bike in here for now,”
The two of you rush out of the car, huddled close as you fumble for your keys, Seungmin standing in the way of the wind, taking the brunt of the weather before you push open the door. The two of you shedding clothes without the intention of fucking for the first time in a long time, your school bag falling to the foot of the couch as you move to turn up the heater.“Do you want anything to eat, i have a few snacks and things if you're hungry,”
He already knows where the pantry is, pulling open the door to look inside. It's casual and yet you feel the distance, not only in the way you had been before, the barely talking had been comfortable, but now the barely talking felt heavy. But you wouldn't be the one to break it, it wasn't you who came around to take you home, it wasn't you who had kissed him. But you knew exactly why you wouldn't say anything. Somewhere the worm of thought was wiggling around your brain, telling you that you weren't as casual as you had hoped to be, you were in some way friends at the end of it all, even if no one knew about it.
Seungmin pulled out a bag of popcorn, still folded nearly, ready to be popped. You sat back down on the couch, getting under your blanket and ignoring your work as you reached for the remote to the TV. The air filled with the buttery scent of fresh-popped kernels, seungmin reached for a bowl in the cabinet already having seen you do this exact task before.
“I didn't know you knew Minho,” you don't even turn in his direction when he makes the statement, watching the TV shows and movies flip past, looking for something to watch.
“Yeah we’ve been working together for most of the year,” you watch Seungmin’s lips pursed, nodding to your answer lightly before moving over to sit next to you on the couch. He kicks his socked feet up onto your coffee table and you click on a random show that neither of you care much about. “I didn't know he was one of your roommates, I knew you had them of course it's why you keep me away from your coveted apartment,”
“It's not coveted, they are just nosey,” you lean over to grab a handful of popcorn as he chews, “and your place has no one else we have to worry about, if we went to my place yesterday and tried to fuck on the couch we would have a lot of explaining to do, and the decor is better here,”
“So it's the decor and convenience that keeps you coming,” you're leaning on the armrest of your couch, half turned to him so that you can push your foot into his side. Toes cold as you tuck them under his thigh.
“You know that's not the only reason,” but it's the way he looks at you when he says it that makes you freeze, the soft tilt to his eyes and the quick realization that he was doing it in the first place. But you knew it wasn't the sex, not when he was quick to flush about the statement. He never got embarrassed to talk about your sex life, seungmin was the most open partner you had, slowly pulling that same confidence out of you. He was easy to talk to about what you wanted and when you wanted it, his one-month-long journey to get you to speak up in bed worked wonders on the way your sex had evolved.
But this, the blush on his cheeks staining your mind as you knew turned over the meaning in your mind. He knew the same comfort that you did, felt the same relaxation settling over him as it did you when you could just strip back to someone who was entirely yourself and yet hidden from so many other people. “I know,” it's a whisper because anything more would make him run, just like a kiss, anything more and he would be out the door in seconds, snowstorm be damned he would sit in his car. And you were starting to hate that truth, that fear he was feeling. So you kicked him again, “and you can't resist my-”
“Do not start right now, I'm eating,” he cracks a smile, the corner of his mouth turning up as you fake shock.
“I was going to say personality i have no idea where your mind was going,”
“Your personality makes me sick,” his tongue poked out for a moment as you shoved your feet further under him, toes wiggling in the cramped space.
“Your attitude makes me sick,” you quip, rolling your eyes as he leans over, hand sliding up your calf.
“You love my attitude,” it's the kind of moment that would have led to sex, you could see it, him leaning over to kiss you,if he let himself. Spilling popcorn but neither of you cared as you fell into each other. But that wasn't the way things felt for you two, because that would have been too close to a couple and you could see that in his eyes when he pulled away.“I should head out soon before the roads get too bad and it looks like it's clearing up a bit,” he nods to your window, the curtains pulled back to see the light snowfall.
“Yeah, let me get my bike-”
“I'll just pick you up tomorrow, you're seriously not going to bike in the snow again,” he passes you the bowl of half eaten popcorn, setting it in your lap as he stands.
“You don't have to do that-”
“But I am, you don't have to worry about it I don't mind, and you can't deny you don't love the heated seats,” and you want to ask him to stay, and spend the night. He had clothes here, ones he had left and forgotten. He knew where in the drawer they were and put them occasionally, it wouldn't even be the first time he used your shower whether alone or not. Even sharing your bed wouldn't have been too much. But you let him go without asking. Too scared to be turned away, too scared to think about why you wanted him here this close when you swore to yourself that you wouldn't let that happen, he had told you it wouldn't happen. But the lines felt so blurred when he was being nice even if it was the bare minimum.
So he left, took your bike along with him, and you found yourself alone in bed again, turning and turning as you tried to find the right spot to lay. You had accounted for the bad sleep to that, the constant moving, and yet the second you made it to the bathroom you found your period had started. Your groan sank into your stomach as you got ready. Seungmins knock on the door was punctual and all too much a reminder of not having enough time to crawl back into bed and skip.
“You look like shit,” it's the first words out of his mouth and you're not sorry for the look you land on him.
“I hardly slept,” you mutter, locking up and following him back to the waiting warm car. The few steps down were slick with a mix of melting snow and salt, Seungmin’s hand helpful as he hovered it just slightly next to your hip without actually touching you. It made you want to shout at him for being nice, for blurring lines you didn't think would ever be spotted with questions.
It felt like he was toying with you, pulling on the little string on your back to hear you, all before he left again. It was tiring and you already felt drained. Especially when he was back to not knowing you on campus, the library filled with people, and there he sat with his friends, ignoring you when everyone else said hi when Minho introduced you, picking up notes he needed from one of them. It felt like falling backward, hurtling in a different direction than you had been going when on the couch together less than a day ago.
And it was so easy to feel annoyed today of all days, when your cramps were starting to work their way through your body, and make you more uncomfortable than sitting silently in a car with seungmin as he took you home. But you did have to agree about the heated seats being the perfect makeup for not having to bike to school.
But as you sat there trying to focus on the warmth under you all you could feel was pain in your lower back, that hollow ache pressed right against your pelvis.
Seungmin could see the way you were trying to hold back a whine, eyes squeezed shut as you rested your hand over your stomach, leaning back with a frown on your mouth. He didn't say anything, just followed you back into your apartment unasked, and you let him too tired to care. “I don't feel like it today,” you muttered while he followed you into your bedroom, already halfway undressed as you slipped on pajamas.
“Neither do I,” he shrugged, pushing out of his coat. “If you want me to leave I can,”
But you don't tell him to go and you don't really tell him to stay. Groaning as you fall into bed, face pressed into the pillow trying to find some way that relieves even a bit of your pain. Seungmin climbs in after you, but not next to you as if he was going to nap but straddling the back of your thighs, hands warm as he pushes the back of your sleep shirt up, fingertips pressing into your lower back as you whine.
He knew your periods would get bad occasionally, once you had texted him to come over just so that he could help you to bed, your body curled up on the bathroom floor, head pounding with a headache and nausea making it hard to want to stand at all. He hadn't said anything, helped you up, and took you to your bed without questions. It had been one of the truly personal moments you had shared and didn't care that he had seen you like that, didn't care if it had made you seem less sexy because it hadn’t, he had been back just as often as he had the week before.
Now he massaged you, hands kneading slowly as you tried not to think about what it meant to have him here with you now. It would have felt embarrassing to have anyone else around to see you like this but at the same time, it was natural. And Seungmin liked to know he could make you feel good, not only when he was having sex with you but that he could make you feel good in a way that was similar to how you made him feel. He liked to know you were okay, liked to see that he could provide as you had for him when he was in his nastier moods. Because sometimes he felt bad that he used you, even if you had used him right back it left him feeling like he owed you an apology, even if you would never accept it.
So you let him stay, let his warm hands work you to sleep. And when you woke up with the lights dimmed, curtains pulled closed to let you sleep in you felt like crying. Your bed empty but your bedside table dawned a full glass of water, a few painkillers, and crackers. He was gone but he hadn't left like it was nothing.
You climbed into the shower trying to wash away the feelings that had started to cling to your skin, your mind. It felt wrong to hear his knock on your door and know the second you saw him you wanted to hug him and say thank you. You wanted to let him know how much it meant to you, how much it was affecting you. The only thing you could come up with as a thank you that didn't seem too much was to gift him your apartment spare key, shoved in the back of a junk drawer where it should not have been, the little heart keychain getting tangled in a bunch of old changing cables you had no use for anymore.
It was a long overdue gift, one you should have given a year ago in the winter where he would stand next to the front door with his hands shoved in his pockets and shoulders to his ears. But you had been so used to avoiding your feelings that it was easy to write them off as nothing more than a complication. But now it feels silly to think that. This isn't even the first time he was nice, much less the last time seeing as he was already leading you down to his warm car.
“Here so you don't have to freeze your ass off and so you can deadbolt my door when you leave now,” it was another casual dismissal like it meant nothing to hand your house key over to someone you only slept with when you needed to take a load off. But it was the way you knew wouldn’t make him run, if you had said it any nicer he would leave and you wouldn't see him for a week or more, damn it if you're cold or not.
“Took you long enough, didn't I ask for a key once and you told me if I didn't make one there was no way of me ever getting one?” he slipped the key into his back pocket, the little pink heart made of easily shattered plastic hanging out right against his dark jeans.
“Well you have it now so no need to complain about how long it takes me to make it back from campus,” you were setting yourself up for the morning when he didn't show up, did not knock or let himself in so that he could take you, snow or not you knew it would sting.
“You love it when I complain,” your answering eye-roll enough to make him chuckle.
You didn't think that he would use the key so soon, the weekend rolling in, no reason for him to pick you up, no reason to come over. He had even dropped your bike off right outside your door on Friday so that if you needed it you had it. Spending most of the day hunched over your books working on your project that you and minho would have to submit by the end of the week and present.
It was late enough that Minho had logged off the shared doc and retired for the night and you knew you wouldn't hear from him until he was ready to put in work again. So you stood going over your presentation trying and failing to work your way through the parts you had to memorize. You got more points if you didn't use flashcards, and even more points if you only gestured towards the board and didn't need help to remember plot points from it as you flipped through slides. But you kept having to look down and remember the parts you had to interject in between Minho's parts.
The task was distracting enough not to hear the door open behind you, your hand falling over your heart the second you turned and away Seungmin coming in, the flashcards holding Minho's parts of the presentation fluttering to the ground,“you scared me you asshole-”
“I texted you like an hour ago that i was coming over,” and you know your phone is on the charger in the other room, turned face down to try and keep you from flipping it over and going on it to procrastinate.
“We can have sex after you help me with this,” picking up all the notecards you file them in order shoving them into his unexpectant hands.
“I don't really want to do homework this late at night, it's not even my homework,” fingers deftly working through the cards, “and it's not even your work i’m reading, shouldn't minho be working on this with you?”
“He was busy and i didnt even know you were coming over so, wrong place wrong time, now help me,” you wave seungmin to sit on the couch, standing in front of the coffee table, closing your eyes to try and remember the first line in your speech.
“He is back at home watching TV with the guys,” Seungmin says leaning back as he reads over his half of the cards. “And you know sometimes I come for the company,” it was the truth, or at least as much as he was willing to share. He didn't know why he had texted that he was on his way, he knew less as to why he couldn't think of what to say when he finally put his key in your lock. He was glad to have found you somewhat shocked to see him so that he wouldn't have to jump right into your bed but had time to do what he really wanted; just sit around in your presence.
“Well either way I want a very nice reward for doing so much school work so late into the night,” and it had been a while since you had found each other twisted up together, especially after seeing each other around more often than usual these past few weeks. “For now I need you to read those when I get to the breaks,”
Seungmin picked up the pace easily enough, pointing out the grammar mistakes that had been rushed over in haste to get the cards done. But you were thankful to have him help you. His easy chuckle and smooth cadence helped more than you thought you needed. Even halfway you order food to be delivered, taking a much needed break and calling it a night for work. You had been standing the whole time, looking for a way to make it seem less awkward talking with nothing in your hands. Now your legs were tired, your groan leaving you the second you laid out on the couch not caring about putting your feet into his lap while you did it.
“Thank you,” you whispered, eyes covered with the back of your hand as you sighed through your nose. “I know it sucks to come over for sex and get this instead,”
“I didn't come over just for sex, believe it or not. Sometimes I like your company enough to not be inside you,” but it didn't matter about him trying to brush it off when now all you could think about was sex. And with him looking the way that he did, half disheveled and relaxed was enough to make you want to sink to your knees for him. So you did. Sliding from the couch so that you could be in front of him, hands gliding over his thighs, looking up from under your lashes.
“I mean we don't have to…” but just the sight of you like this on your knees for him was making him grow hard, his hands reaching out for yours, capturing them before you could find his zipper.
“Sit with me,” but the words themself felt like a ‘no’, a direct denial that he could read over your features as they sink into you. But it wasn't the way he wanted you to take it, not when he couldn't get the idea of your lips out of his mind, not wrapped around him but pressed to his, chasing his mouth as he tried to catch his breath. So when you got up he pulled you down to the couch with him, pushing you into the fabric and finding your mouth without warning.
He knows he shouldn't, knows it goes against the quasi-distance he puts between you two, and yet all he could think about was the last time his lips were on you, kissing you, trying to hide his truths right against your mouth. And you were so willing, arms pulling him in, needing him closer, wanting to be here, and not pushing him away like you should have. But even you couldn't deny how good it felt to have him this close to you, semi-hard just from the sight of you. And there was something about breaking the thin rules you two had in place like his need was more than his conscience. No longer able to resist himself.
It was a slow kiss, exploring the way you fit together as if you hadn't learned each other's bodies before this one bit. All his kisses turned intense, dripping with desire as you spread your legs, letting him sink in closer to you, rolling his hips as he caught his breath on the edge of a whimper. And he was looking at you, really catching you in his sight, blinking down at you. His hair hanging around his brows that you couldn't help but push it back, fingers running through the strands as you tucked them behind his ear. “You look so pretty,”
It was the truth, one you didn't know you had said aloud but you had, and now he was pulling away. Sitting up and leaving you laid out, disheveled, and feverish from a few kisses. “I have to go,”
“Seungmin-”
“No i should go, i need to go,” and it was a switch, that boyish smile cleaned from the surface like a stain he didn't want visitors to see, and you were just a visitor he allowed to see it occasionally but not one he let stay. Now his scowl was set in, his shoulders set as you sat up.
“Fine, go, run away,” his eyes flickered at the dismissal as if he could be angry at you for kicking him out so willingly.
You watch the way his eyes roll, “we have rules for a reason,”
“Rules,” the word feels foreign in your mouth, arms crossing, “you're the one who came over, you're the one who told me it wasn't for sex, if it wasn't for sex what was it for? Huh? Think about the rules next time you want to stay a while,”
“We said no kissing,”
“You said no kissing, and I never kissed you first, think back to every time it's happened, you did it, take up the rules with yourself,”
“You should not let me-”
“Let you, you're acting like a child, get over it, people kiss all the time, go if you want to, act like you don't like me,”
“Fine,” he mutters grabbing his coat, “and it's not an act,” you don't even try to stop him, let him walk right out and even listen to the sound of him locking the door, deadbolt slamming like the shutting of a heavy book, echoing in the room as you fall back where he had pressed you, heels of your palms pressed to your eye sockets, sighing.
He was scared and you didn't help it, didn't want to push him so you pushed him away. The both of you are childish and cold to the other, running around like you don't know that this would one day crack so much so that you wouldn't be able to glue it back together. But you had never predicted it would be over a kiss or even the friendship you had started with one another. And even that made you want to cry, now alone on a warm couch soon to grow cold because he's not here anymore to keep you warm.
He doesn't call or text you, doesn't even come to pick you up Monday morning. The snow already settled and mostly shoveled away from the roads and sidewalks, and a lot of other people from campus were already back to walking. And you had prepared yourself for this, your sadness turning to anger more than anything else. The walk filled with a scowl and half pouty stomp, cursing Seungmin under your breath knowing that if it was anyone else making you feel this way you would have called Seungmin over to work you out enough to let it go. And now you have no one to help you, having to find more conventional ways of getting your anger out. And so you turned to overwork on your projects.
You spent more time at the library and the cafe, calling Minho to practice so that you knew in some way Seungmin might know that you were busy. The whole week you poured over every little note to take your mind away from his and his rare smile and soft kisses. And when you did see him at the cafe ordering a coffee neither of you acknowledged the other, brushing past each other like true strangers, like it had been before when you first set your rules.
But it did sting, like an ember that only aided a fire and didn't put it out because you bottled it up and didn't wallow over it. You wouldn't be the first one to crack, not when you didn't see what you had done wrong besides letting him do what the both of you were thinking.
Minho had picked up on the irritation, “everyone is having a bad week, some of my roommates are in a pisspoor mood,” he commented while you waiting for your turn to present your project, “you should come out with us tonight, we are celebrating the end of the quarter with lots of drinks and dancing but mostly drinks,”
Most of your time had been spent indoors and now would be the perfect time to get out. The much needed time away from your apartment, letting go and not thinking about Seungmin on your couch, and if he wanted you he would text you,or wait for you to come home. “That sounds perfect actually,” and Minho planned to pick you up for your place, texting you when he was outside and watching you lock up from the comfort of his car, headlights shining over you as you walked across to get to the passenger side door.
Both of you had done great on your project, the time you spent pouring over your work and not worrying about boys with commitment issues helped tremendously. Now without a care you wore the shortest skirt you owned and didn't care if Seungmin saw or not. Until you made it to the bar and watched his eyes find you. Minho's hand in yours led you through the crowd to the table they had all gotten, seungmin’s jaw tight as he held his glass of water, gaze trapped on the way Minho helped you get into the booth.
It felt liberating to be ‘allowed’ to talk to him in this sense. He couldn't hide behind the fact he didn't know you after this, you would now know of each other publicly even if he never did break and text you again. For now, you would sit and let him stew for as long as he wanted. And stew he did, watching every little move you made although he was trying not to seem obvious about it. He listened and didn't talk, nodding along to what his friends were saying and yet still treating the room like it was only you two and your fight between you.
And when Minho asked you to dance you didn't stop yourself from agreeing, taking his hand and letting him hold you, standing as close as he wanted knowing exactly how angry it would make Seungmin to see. He traced the path Minho'shand had made on you, from the underside of your rib cage down to your hip, catching your eyes as he fumed. His tipping point when you caught him looking you knowingly blew him a kiss, the taunt going too far for him. His scowl set as he stood grabbing his phone and shoving it into his pocket.
“I think I'm going to head home,” your hand cupped near Minho's ear, “I'm going to call a bad I'm a little lightheaded,”
“I can wait with you-” he started, concern written over his face before confusion.
“I can wait with her, Chans asking after you,” Seungmin’s voice was a cool balm over your flushed skin, hot from the crowd, the lights. His face had an indifferent cold exterior as you nodded, “Yeah, you stay, have a good time,”
Minho gave you one last final look over, nodding with a quick,“Okay, text me when you get home,” before you were walking out the same way you had come in. the chill sinking into your bones the second you left the stuffy club. Your phone in hand, fully prepared to call a cab just like you had claimed you would.
“You could sleep with him if you wanted to,” Seungmin wasn't even in front of you when he said it, your head snapping to look at him over your shoulder, his brow raised like he was waiting for you to take the bait waving in front of you.
“Oh I know,” the sarcasm dripped from you like venom. You didn't want to sleep with anyone, not when the one person who you enjoyed getting your anger out on was being an ass.
“Go sleep with him, you have my permission,” he tipped his head in the direction of the door, goosebumps rising along your arms from the anger, the cold.
“I don't need your permission to sleep with anyone, you don't do relationships, remember,” you were standing right at the edge of the pavement, where the sidewalk met the parking lot. “Go home,” the words felt heavy as you said them, hitting him with each syllable. You felt so silly standing here before him, both of you dancing around each other but you could see the cracks in him, watching the way the water bubbled to the surface ready to spill out between the two of you.
“I'm just reminding you,” it made you sick, the arrogance, the casual brush off as if he wasn't the one who started the conversation over nothing.
“Maybe I will sleep with him,” but you're bluffing, crossing your arms and stalking closer to him, your breath fanning white in front of you like smoke, “maybe he will actually invite me over and not run away from his feelings,”
But he's angry even at the thought, “no,” the word like a slammed door at the unwelcome proposal. He looks disgusted, nose scrunched, shaking his head, “No,” as if repeating it would make it stick.
“didn't you just say I could? Go back so easy on your word when people play with your toys, if you like me just admit it- stop acting like a toddler and fess up,” you're standing so close to him now, it didn't matter what height you were when in this conversation he knew you were right anyways you looked you would be the one on top. You just wanted once for him to admit it, say it without having to reduce yourself to begging him. You wanted him to say yes, to tell you, even if you had to stop seeing each other you would live with it because you could live with him being scared but not dishonest.
But he just blinked back at you, mouth pinched closed like he knew it would drive you insane. Sometimes he loved to deny you, wait it out because it was better that way than just giving in to losing. “Let's go, you can't walk home it's too far,” the words felt like a clear wave of his hand, taking everything you had said and swiping it off the table into a drawer that was easy to slam closed and ignore for later, or never open again.
You turned around, arms crossed, fiddling with your phone as if you weren't too angry to look at the screen properly. You would walk all the way home if it would fuck with him, just to say you did as petty as it was. You would be the only one at a loss and still, it didn't matter, you knew it would piss him off nonetheless, or if you went back in and asked Minho for a ride, that would hurt him even more. “I'm going to get a ride,” you throw over your shoulder, the angry padding of his following steps right behind you.
“You already have one,” he holds up his key and you see your keychain as the only other one on there besides his house key and car key, the small heart dangling in his fist, “come on, get in,”
“Admit it,” you don't care that you are stopped in the middle of the parking lot, standing there in what felt close to nothing, numb from the cold.
Seungmin watched the way you shivered, hated that he knew you would torture his mind until the end if he didn't get you into the warmth of his car, no matter how badly he wanted to keep his mouth shut. Because he did like you, hated that he was backed in the corner to say it when he could hardly think about it when alone, less when he was with you and the idea was right over him. He was so good at ignoring things, he had been doing it since that first night that he had you. “Fine, get in the car,” it was already on and warm.
“Say it,” your hip dips, ready to hold out.
“I like you,” he says it like he hates the words, the tone chipped as you pull it out of him, but you know him, know him best when he's on the edge of anger and desire, “now get in the fucking car,”
“Fine,” both of you headed for the car, Seungmin reaching out around you so he could pull your door open. He even helps by keeping his hand right on your lower back as you step up to get in, closing the door behind you as you reach over to turn up the heater. The seat was already warm and welcoming. He doesn't say anything when he gets in, putting the car in reverse, hand on the back of your seat as he twists to get a good view behind him. You sit watching outside the front windshield, arms still crossed as you ignore the way his shirt rides up across his waistband.
“You could have cleared up so much if you had just said something sooner,” you mutter, “hell even if you didn't want me because if it did, it would have been better than sitting around thinking about how I must be a horrible kisser-”
“I never said that,” he cuts you off, watching the road as the snow starts to come back down. The roads had been cleared and it was only a light dusting, flurries that would melt as soon as they hit the pavement.
“Exactly you never say anything, you come, you fuck, you leave. I don't even mind it, I welcome it, but then you come over and just hang out, kiss me, and leave but deny you have feelings for me-”
“I never said I didn't have feelings for you, you never asked,”
“I shouldn't have to ask,”
“I shouldn't have to be the one to start the conversation, you're just as much to blame as I am,” it shuts you up, lips twisting closed as you sink into the seat knowing he's right. But it didn't matter, what's done was done, and you were never the one to run away from him, annoy him yes, but you never ran.
The two of you sat in silence, watching the snow fall, the anger slightly dissipating as you let the thoughts of him take over. You knew you were a hypocrite, and felt it as easily as you felt the feelings you had for him. You didn't want to push him away, you didn't want him to take you home to drop you off and ignore you all over again. Not when it would feel closer to breaking up than him not coming back to pick you up from school. “I like you and I don't care about the stupid rules, not when you like me too. I like you more than just the sex and that's saying a lot because you can be distant. And I like it when you kiss me, even when you don't mean to, I like it when you come over just to hang out, and I like your stupid car and its heated seats, and I like your smile,”
The words came out in a rush, “I used to like that you ignored me and now I just hate it, and I hate your stupid jealousy over nothing at all, and I hate the way you make me feel sometimes,”
“Like when?” His grip on the wheel was tight, knuckles white from the hold.
“Like when you pull away from kissing me and leave me alone, when you don't show up to pick me up the next week and walk past me like you don't know me anymore, when you watch me dance with someone else and you don't admit when I'm right. And I hate it even more that when you kiss me and it doesn't make you want to stay but run,” your throat felt tight, your teeth working into the flesh of your lip, trying to ignore the way this conversation was making you feel. You didn't even notice him pulling off the shoulder of the road, not until he was putting the car in park.
Unbuckling his seatbelt he leans over, catching your chin in his hand, pulling you to meet him halfway across the center console to press his lips to yours. You know he's doing it to prove a point, the slow kiss weakening you. Breaking the kiss, you're only just ghosting your lips over his still searching ones, “Seungmin-”
“I like you, a lot more than I care to admit, and I-” he doesn't even open his eyes as he says it, brows coming together as if it pains him to admit it, “I want to spend all my time with you, I want to kiss you over and over until we can't breathe and I want you to want me as badly as I need you,” his nose bumps yours, the whispered, “please,” pressed right against your mouth, so close its as if it came from your mouth too.
And you can't help yourself from clinging to him, pulling him by his shirt, hands fisted in the fabric as he devours you. His hand slid behind your ear cupping your skull to get you as near as he could and still he needed you closer. With his free hand, he clicked your seatbelt button, needing it off of you. It was easy enough to follow his instructions, even the silent ones after so long of knowing each other in movements instead of words.
Pushing out of your seat you made the climb over to his side, his chair pushed back to give you room when between him and the steering wheel. Your skirt bunching around your hips, now short enough to be a belt in this position; arms wrapping around his neck as he holds your waist, keeping you steady as your knees dig into the sides of the seat. He doesn't give you much time to wait before his mouth is back on you, his control slipping as you meet him with the same need, his exploration of you turning messy in seconds.
It's when he starts to kiss down your jaw, mouth open and hot against your skin that you feel how hard he has gotten, pressed against your thigh as you roll your head back for him. He drags his teeth over your neck, kissing away the trail, groaning at the taste of you. He wants more, needs more, hips rolling up into your as if that bit of friction would fix anything. It didn't matter how many times he had you, he would need more, needed to hear you say his name like you did now, meeting him with a slow tantalizing grind back down on him.
Your nails scratched along his scalp, gripping his hair with one hand as the other wedges between you two fiddling with the button on his pants. “We don't have to,” he's gasping, the car steaming up. The snow thickened against the windshield, the wipers cut off once he had pulled over.
“I want to,” you say against his mouth, relishing in the way he gasps as soon as your hand grips him. He's never been so whiny before, vocal as you rise on your knees, panties pushed to the side as you drag his tip through your slick folds.“Tell me if you want me to stop,” but he's shaking his head, nose brushing your cheek, hips pushing up to try and catch your entrance before you can think about stopping.
“No, don't stop,” hands on your hips holding you hard enough to bruise the second he slips in an inch. “Please don't stop,”
The stretch makes you gasp, forehead to his as he tries to keep himself from pushing all the way in so fast. But you don't care, you want him as deep as he will go, as close as you can get him. Sinking down you take in the overwhelming feeling, hand falling to your stomach as you moan, “You're so-” the words won't even form anymore, brain finding it hard to make connections to your mouth now that you had him this far in.
“You always feel so fucking good,” Seungmin groans, body melting into the seat, the warmth of the heater only making the two of you flushed and easily pliable. “I knew it that first time that your pussy was made for me,” he rolls his hips finding any room that he can to give his shallow thrusts, his pelvis pressed to your clit making you blink hard. “Can you feel it?”
“Yes-” the word a confession as you find your own pace, grinding your hips, finding a rhythm that would have you finishing without much effort, but you know it's because it's him, the way he knows your body, fits you so well. His nails scratching at your clothes, finding a grip so that he can use you as leverage to rock into you, tip pressed right to your g-spot at this angle.
“You're so fucking perfect, how could I not like you, how could I not think about you and only you,” his puppy dog eyes watching you, his hair a disheveled mess, brows close together as he whimpers again. “Look at you,” his sweet mewls fill up the space, one hand on his shoulder and the other on the back of his seat as you drag your hips back and forth on him.“So pretty riding my cock so desperately,”
“I want you to cum for me, please, please,” you can't even keep yourself up anymore, crowding his space, pressing your lips back to his as he takes over, and you know he's cumming the second he starts to tremble, mouth frozen in a moan as you catch the sound in the back of your throat. Your own climax triggered by the sight of his, by the feeling of being so full. He can't even stop himself from using your hips to ride back down on him, wanting to keep you right where you were, full of him in every way.
You wrap your arms around him, his face tucked into your neck, the light kisses over your still hammering pulse only making it flutter longer than calm down. It's not until you pull back to look at him that you see that hazy smile on his features. “Come home with me? Spend the night,”
His smile only grows, spreading across the expanse of his face until he's nodding, “I do have a key, maybe I could stay longer than just the night…” his eyes caught on the way you smile right back at him.
“As long as you want, since I happen to like you, I could keep you around for a long, long time,” both your smiles caught against each other's lips right before he's back to kissing you.
taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @seungfl0wer @lunesdesire @chasingthatjjunie @possum-playground @ch4nn13luv @izzyy-stuff @jellymochii @yeoningz @filmnings want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join! want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask!
#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#seungmin x reader#seungmin#stray kids seungmin#skz smut#stray kids smut#kim seungmim#bang chan#lee know#Changbin#lee felix#i.n. skz#hyunjin#han jisung
288 notes
·
View notes
Text
STEPHANIE
Gojo is your physics tutor and you’re sort of in love with him
Textfic, fluff, Highschool!au
(art Creds to @/eldritcheaven on twitter!)
—————————————————————————-
September 16th
5:38 pm
You: hiyaaa :D
You: is this Gojos number? Shoko says u can tutor me 😙
Gojo: whats the tutoring for
You: uh school?
Gojo: I mean what subject..?
You: OH LMAO
You: physics :((
Gojo: okay
Gojo: who r u again
You: Y/N
Gojo: okay meet me at the library Thursday after school
You: okayyy see u there 😁
September 18th
6:40 pm
You: gojo how am I gonna finish all this work BY MONDAY
Gojo: that’s three days
Gojo: this is easy stuff
You: FOR YOU
You: I have cheerleading until seven tomorrow night and Saturday
Gojo: okay..
Gojo: that’s my problem how?
You: okay just say u hate me
Gojo: I hate you
You: whatever
September 21st
1:06 am
You: IM DONE!
You: r u impressed
Gojo: no
You: wtf
Gojo: bring it to me at lunch so I can grade it
You: okayyyy
You: goodnight 🩷
Seen
September 21st
1:40 pm
You: GOJO WHERE R U
Gojo: in the library
You: why aren’t u in the cafeteria
Gojo: because it’s too noisy
Gojo: I can’t read in there
You: ha ha nerddd
Gojo: shut up and hurry up.
You: Okayyyy okay
You: Can u see me 🤔
Gojo: no the bright orange cheerleading costume is really hard to miss
You: 😒
You: So is the bone white hair and glasses
Gojo: hurry up
September 21st
8:12 pm
Gojo: ur so shit at physics
You: Uhm okay
You: thanks? 😭
Gojo: im sorry that was rude
Gojo: fear not that’s why I’m here
You: okay
Gojo: don’t worry it’s nothing my genius can’t fix
You: try not brag challenge fail
Gojo: you free tomorrow?
You: I should be yeah
Gojo: okay come to the library after school
You: can’t wait… 😔
September 22nd
4:06pm
You: Gojo
You: GOJO
Gojo: you are literally in front of me speak
You: nk the librarian is looking at me 😓
Gojo: okay so what
You: don’t look so annoyed at me
Gojo: im not annoyed at u
You: okay fine
You: do u have a highlighter
Gojo: …
You: DONT ROLL UR EYES AT ME
Gojo: there is LITERALLY ONE RIGHT IN FRONT OF U
You: omg ur first caps lock 🙁🩷 I’m so proud
Gojo: stop laughing
You: I’m sorry u look so angry over a highlighter..
You: and I can see you smiling too 😒
Gojo: shut up.
September 23rd
7:06 pm
You: Nerdjo I have a question
Gojo: never call me that
You: 😒😒okay.. can I ask u a question now
Gojo: if it’s about the work I gave u just wait until Friday
You: UTS NOT
Gojo: oh
Gojo: okay what
You: would you rather only drink water for the rest of ur life or be allowed to drink anything you like but it always has to have a drop of pee in it
Gojo: where is the pee coming from
You: You don’t know..
Gojo: is it healthy pee
Gojo: because if not then idk what’s in it and I could contract a disease like typhoid or smth
Gojo: and also utis and that’s painful enough as is without me drinking to catch it
Gojo: also how much is a drop
Gojo: is it a ratio thing? So every 1% of any drink I drink is pee or is it always a drop
Gojo: because in that case I can just drink a lot of smth and the pee will cancelled out
You: wtf
Gojo: sorry I’m rambling
You: No.. don’t apologise.. U have opened my eyes
You: I never thought of it like that
You: Also do u think it would like make my drink yellow..
You: Cause that’s GEROOSS
You: voice note elapsed: 00:40
Gojo: voice note elapsed 1:02
September 24th
2:06 pm
You: IM SO EMBARASSED
You: Walk of shame to my seat in my cheerleading outfit god TAKE ME
Gojo: ha ha ha
Gojo: don’t be late next time
You: Shut up
You: I hate Yaga and he hates me
Gojo: he loves me
You: yeah cause ur good at physics and I’m poo at it
Gojo: better focus then
You: okay
September 24th
2:20pm
You: Gojo
You: Gojo
You: NERDJO!!
Gojo: stop texting me
You: move u bag from the chair next to u
Gojo: what???
You: MOVE IT
You: I’m coming to sit next to you
Gojo: tf why
You: the guy next to me won’t shut up
You: and I need ur nerd aura to make me smarter
Gojo: ur so stupid
Gojo: hurry up then
You: WOPPEE OMW
September 25th
1:06 am
You: Gojo r u awake
Gojo: we have school tmrw go to sleep
You: U R 😏
Gojo: freak
Gojo: what do u want
You: I’m bored
You: And I’m confused on question three on the history hw 😓
Gojo: okay..
Gojo: ask me tomorrow
You: Or I can call u rn an u can help me..?
Gojo: .
You: PLEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASE 🙏
Gojo: you have ten minutes
You: YAY
Gojo and Y/N
25/9/2024 Time elapsed: 30:07
September 25th
11:05 am
You: GOJOOOO
You: Can I sit with u in econ today 😏
Gojo: what do u need help with now
You: Uhmmm I don’t need help
You: I just wanna sit with u..
Gojo: oh
Gojo: okay
You: YIPPEEEE
September 26th
12:21 pm
Gojo: YOU WATCH ANIME??????
You: WHY R U YELLING 😭😭
You: Yes… it’s my deep dark secret don’t tell anyone 😔
Gojo: okay with the sasuke keyring on ur bag…
You: LOL
You: how did you even see it where r u..
Gojo: stalking you in the corridors watch out
You: Okay Joe from you
Gojo: ur living ur own Netflix series rn 🩷
You: EMOJIS???
You: Who r u and where’s Gojo gone??!?££?
You: Whats ur favourite anime
Gojo: voice note elapsed: 1:34
September 28th
2:06 am
Gojo: do u think time travel is real
Gojo: or like will be real in the future
Gojo: I feel it could be because like we just advance in technology more and more as time goes by
Gojo: like if u said FaceTime would be a think in 1920 they’d probably hang u
Gojo: there was that Stephen hawking thing he did with like the party invite but
Gojo: if I was from the future I wouldn’t time travel just to prove him right like u just have an ego now
Gojo: food for thought 🩷
September 28th
7:21 am
You: SORRY I WAS AT PRAVTISE and U messaged me at like one am?)
You: But I thinking about you the whole time
Gojo: awwwww youre making me blush
You: SHURRUP
You: i was thinking about ur question not u
Gojo: same thing kinda
You: enough
You: voice note elapsed: 00:54
Gojo: girl u r not Snow White dinosaurs will eat u
You: We will find out when I time travel to the Jurassic era and kiss one
September 29th
3:37 PM
Gojo: why do u keep staring at me do ur work
You: Cause i have a question for u but im shy..🥺🥺
Gojo: EW cringe
Gojo: just ask me
You: You keep looking at me with those bombastic blue eyes im nervous
Gojo: ur so dramatic
You: DONT LAUGH AT ME
Gojo: so text me then
You: okay….
You: We have a pep rally soon can u come
Gojo: was that it..
You: YES
Gojo: girl im coming anyway geto is playing
You: UR FRIENDS WITH GETO???
Gojo: hes my best friend
You: Wait thats true ur always together
You: You know allll the girls on my team have a phat crush on him🤧
Gojo: mhm
Gojo: and are you one of those girls?
You: Nah hes not my type
Gojo: and what is ur type
You: Boys with bombastic blue eyes😏
You: R U BLUSHINGGGG
Gojo: shut up and do ur work
September 30th
9:45 pm
Gojo: ar eu home
You: Yeah why..
Gojo: play roblox with me
You: LOL
You: How’d u know im a gaymer..
Gojo: hoe u is not a gaymer
You: HEY
You: ill have u know im plat on overwatch..?
Gojo: wait actually
You: Actually
Gojo: ….
Gojo: HOP ON OW
You: Uhm sorry i cant im doing the hw my annoying tutor sent me
Gojo: im sure ur sexy smoking hot tutor will let u off this time
You: YAY
Gojo and Y/N
30/9/2024 Time elapsed: 3:46:07
October 1st
12:34 pm
Gojo: pep rally in five days
Gojo: r u nervous
You: Gojo texting me in school..?
Gojo: dont change the subject sweetheart
You: POO
You: Im scared yeah
You: I always am before a game tho
You: Like what if my shirt slips when I’m flipping and i flash my bra
Gojo: the game will get ten times better?
You: HEY
Gojo: JOKUNG IM JOKING
You: As an apology take me out for lunch today 😙
Gojo: ugh fine
You: XD
October 2nd:
2:07 pm
You: WHERE R U
You: GOJO
Gojo: me and geto went out for lunch
You: COME BACK NOW
Gojo: are you okay????
You: YES I WANNA GIVE U A HUG AND A KISS
Gojo: are you having a stroke??
You: SHOKO GAVE ME THE KEYRING
You: A LITTLE NARUTO TO MATCH MY SASUKEEE
You: THANK U SM
Gojo: ur welcome
You: 😁😁😁
You: Bring me back a coke
Gojo: ugh fine
Gojo: do i still get that hug and kiss
You: hmmm I’ll see
October 3rd:
10:21 am
You: image attachment
You: LOOK LOOK LOOK
Gojo: WELL DONE
You: A BBBBBB
You: IN PHYSICSS WHO AM I
Gojo: WELL DONE
You: Thanks for the tutoring🤤
Gojo: wait im the goat
You: hoe EYE am the goat..?
Gojo: i guess it was a team effort
You: Yeah duh
Gojo: good job sweetheart
You: 😁😁😁😁
October 3rd:
9:06 pm
You: ik we had plans but let me come home then we can play
You: Practise ran so late sorry pookie
Gojo: wait ur at school rn??
You: Yes….. kms shortly😔
Gojo: how r u getting home?
You: Walking
Gojo: girl..?
You: My parents r working and i cant drive leave me ALONE
Gojo: wait im coming to get u
You: You dont need to do that gojo
Gojo: i do im omw
You: OKay
You: Btw i like ur new glasses
Gojo: u noticed?
Gojo: stop staring at me all the time omg..
You: I cant help it
You: i love u and all four of ur bombastic blue eys
Gojo: not picking u up anymore
You: IM SORRRY🙏🙏🙏🙏
You: PLZ COME MY KNIGHT IN SHINING GLASSES
You: PLEASEEEE
Gojo: ughhh fineee
Gojo: just because u begged so nicely
You: ahahahah SHUT UP
October 3rd
10:15 pm
Gojo: r u home
You: u literally just watched me walk through my door
Gojo: so..
Gojo: what if someone took u from inside
You: Ur right hoe…
Gojo: im always right
You: Yeah yeah freaking nerd
Gojo: dont hate me cause u aint me
Gojo: ima graduate cum laude in the future
You: Why u talkign about cum u freak
Gojo: shut up
You: cum laude more like cum load 🤣🤣
Gojo: i hate u
You: LMAOOO
You: Ik ur laughng rn
You: Call me
Gojo: say please
You: Please call me four eyes🤞
Gojo and Y/N
03/10/2024 Time elapsed: 4:20:07
October 4th
3:47 am
Gojo: omg did I tell you
Gojo: I was reading this essay on behavioural psychology and it was talking about how like the concept of territoriality in humans it’s so interesting
Gojo: it’s related to how primates make their space
Gojo: not like actually of course nobody is peeing anywhere
Gojo: it’s also related to quantum physics in an weird way
Gojo: voice note elapsed: 2:12
October 4th
7:54 am
You: Whatever you say gorgeous 🙏🙏🙏
You: THATS COOL THO A
You: I got like a quarter of what u said but icloveee psychology
You: I wanna study it at university
You: my fav part is attachment and like child development and stuff
You: so ur next rant topic is going to be about that thanks 🩷
Gojo: did u actually listen to all that
Gojo: sorry I get carried away
You: Duh I listened and don’t apologise or ill shoot u
Gojo: thanks 🩷
Gojo: i bought u a coffee
You: YAYY
You: I’ll meet u at the entrance
October 5th
1:07 am
Gojo and Y/N
05/10/2024 Time elapsed: 2:39:07
Gojo: good luck for tomorrow
You: Thank u 😁
You: I’m gonna need it…
Gojo: shut up ur gonna do fine
Gojo: I’ll cheer u on from the stands
You: YAY
October 6th
3:54 pm
Gojo: get off ur phone and lock in
You: I CANT FIND U
Gojo: I’m like the third row from the bottom
Gojo: next to Shoko
You: I SEE U
You: I recognise those bombastic blue eyes anywhere🩷🩷🩷🩷
Gojo: awww is that big smile all for me
You: Shut it
You: Are those big flowers all for me??? 😁
Gojo: no they’re for the huzz
You: What if I kill you?
Gojo: plz don’t
Gojo: they are for u
You: Ur such a nerd
You: Thank u 😏
You: Ur coming to getos after right??
Gojo: yes
You: Good
Gojo: but
You: Butbwhat
Gojo: we could hang out instead
Gojo: just me and you
You: Are u asking me out on a date gojo????
Gojo: yeah kinda
You: I can see u blushing from over here
You: DONT TURN AROUJD
You: Ofc I’d rather hang out with u
You: See u after the rally😙😙😙😙
Gojo: good luck
Gojo: u look pretty in ur uniform
You: Thwnk u 😁😁😁
—————————————————————————
NERDJJO ONE CHANCE PLEASEEEE 🤞🤞🤞😓🥺 these text fics r so fun to write oh my sigma..
guys I know Gojo was kinda mean at first but he thought u were using him for his smarts… also idk I headcanon that he’s not as energetic as he is canonically.. like u think hes always bragging and dry but hes actually just itching to tell u facts about quantum physics
I HOOE U ALL ENJOYED 🩷 as always drop any asks in my inbox !!!!
#b3ach bunn7#oneshot#fluff#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu gojo#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader fluff#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo my beloved#jjk fanfic#jjk oneshot#jjk satoru#jjk smau#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x y/n
128 notes
·
View notes
Note
im sure you've gotten a lot of messages like this, but i was in such a bad anxiety and ocd spiral over the weekend (especially over musk's bullshit), but your posts and rationality helped me not only continue contacting my reps but also to be able to breathe for the first time in what's felt like a week. so i guess i just wanna say thank you for spreading courage in a sea of doomscrolling ❤️
Hey, you're welcome! Be kind to yourself right now if you can. Things suck an absolutely monumental amount and in absolutely every direction, but we still have to take a deep breath, go "okay you rancid shitgobblers, time to get fucked" (or, uh, similar motivational slogans) and do what we can. It has worked and it can work. We cannot stop all of it, but we can stop some of it and buy time (those midterm elections in 2026 will come up fast, we also need to be ready for those) and prevent the absolute worst-case scenario from happening. Arguably we have already had proof that if we keep it up, we can do just that, and that, as Gandalf would say, is an encouraging thought. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil.
It may be because I am a historian and thus inclined to take the long view on principle, but we will still have to live our daily lives and ground and center ourselves and find joy even in the middle of All This. As I have said in previous posts, the fascists' whole shtick right now is to paralyze you with fear and anger and helplessness, so the very fact that you were able to pull yourself out of the doomspiral and get back to doing the work means that they failed! Hey, they failed! With you and with everyone who has been able to swear a lot, spit out some teeth, and get back up and go on. That is not a small or easy thing to do, but it is also necessary. I am proud of you for doing it.
Anyway, thanks for this kind message, and I am very glad to have been able to help you and others on ye olde blue hellsite. That means something, I think. So yes.
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay, there's a LOT happening here and i need to go over it before i fucking explode
first things first, we've got these beasts or gods which seem like parallels to the ancient weapons, with the sea, sky and land (from right to left). i've got two theories about this: these are just representations of the ancient weapons as monsters or the gods that the ancient weapons are based on OR we already know one ancient weapons is actually a person. what if they were all original living beings and some got turned into monsters? especially with pluton, i'm reminded of franky's bad end from sbs 101.
references to the enel's maxim traveling to the moon. seems like someone tried that before and failed because of the ancient weapons?
this might be a bit of a stretch, but this profile looks like an elephant. specifically zunesha
another stretch, but this profile looks like imu
here, it looks like we've got people harvesting 'suns' to power a city, as well as some people with halos. this is probably the slaves and forbidden sun the text mentions, but the halo people are interesting, since we haven't seen that before.
here, we've got a group of a bunch people fighting one of the monsters. there's nika, emet, giants, minks, mermaids, dwarves, and lunarians. there are also the people on the boats which might represent different kingdoms? one looks like they have a top-knot which could be wano. there are also the people riding a whale, which seems to imply a tribe of people linked to the island whale that we haven't seen yet. and then there's the people fighting with the monster. this all seems linked to the war that happened in the void century, referenced by the middle text box.
and finally, the text box itself. i highlighted a few bits that i found most interesting, so i'll go through those:
so "within the earth" there was a "forbidden sun". this either is or is a precursor to the mother flame that vegapunk discovered/invented to create his own sun/endless energy (ch 1114). seems like maybe people in the past tried that and got punished by the sun god for it. regardless, the idea of a forbidden sun is fascinating.
then, the "earth god [...] shrouded the world in death and darkness" leading to the second world aka the void century. now, im not sure if these gods are tied to the monsters shown in mural or the ancient weapons. my guess would be they're tied to the ancient weapons with the earth god and sea god, but the forest god instead of a sky god complicates things- wait. i was going to mention that the forest god was mentioned in skypiea, along with the sun, earth and rain (sea?) god (ch 287). we also see one of their gods in kashigami, the giant snake. and one of the meanings of kashi (according to google) is oak. so it stands to reason that kashigami is the forest god. a forest god from a forest IN THE SKY. boom, we can tie it to the ancient weapon uranus, problem solved.
also, speaking of the rain god, it's the only one from skypiea not mentioned here (unless it is just a different version of the sea god since skypedia doesn't have a sea and ya know, the water cycle and all that), but there is some rain over the whale people that seems significant.
anyway, moving on to "they will never meet", which is repeated in the second world too. while i believe this references the sun god (not) meeting the other gods during these times, it also reminds me of roger mentioning that they "were just too early' (ch 968) with discovering the one piece.
then in the second world, we've got the "void" and "the fires of war", aka the void century and the great war that occurred during it.
also, i didn't highlight it, but the "forest god tamed demons" bit is also interesting. for demons, the three things i think of is the mythical devil fruits of the five elders, the giant shadowy beings from the florian triangle, or the maybeeee the horned ancient giants? my bet is on the florian triangle beings since they kinda looks like shadows cast from skypiea
then, there are "those of the half-moon [and] the moon". now, we known that one of these are the people from the sky island, from enel's cover story (ch 470 and 472). then, there are the lunarians, which given their name and wings, also come from the/a moon. now, which group is the moon or the half-moon, i don't know, but it's interesting that there are two separate moon groups.
and then, finally, we have "the sun god dances and laughs, guiding the world to its end". now, this is probably the most important bit from the whole thing. we know from saul that the third world here is the present, so this is, like, direct foreshadowing. this could be metaphorical, that luffy will end the current "world" aka the world government and usher in a new world, "a new morning". but it could be literal. i don't remember if i came up with this or if i heard it somewhere else, but i have this theory that luffy might destroy mary geoise and destroy the red line, which this line might support.
and finally, we have "and they will surely meet", echoing the last lines of the the previous two stanzas. now, in those two, "they" seem to be the gods, but that's not so in this one. of course, this leaves a lot of things that it could be but either way, luffy will meet someone who will be important the end game of this whole thing. my completely based on nothing, just pure vibes guess? that maybe, the one piece is alive.
and of course, i am very excited that franky is the one kinda front and center here, literally, so i can only hope that maybe him (and robin) will get a lot more focus in the upcoming arcs. a guy can dream.
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’M JUST ONE CLICK AWAY .
summary . rafe is always available for y/n.
content * advisory . Body shaming, a little angst, but most of all fluff¡
It started off simple, only calling rafe when you needed your pipes fixed, something was too heavy, hanging up the TV, etc.
then, it got more frequent. asking him if he was ever free, or he would call you to see if you wanted to be his plus one to an event. Of course you never denied him. If anything, you loved accompanying him whenever he asked. It was sweet really, always having time to talk to each other or just simply hanging out no matter the time.
This time, it was a little different. instead, you both were getting ready together. You never knew where or how it started but, it just did. It was comforting, and relaxing.
“rafey” you spoke as you finished the finishing touches to your make up. “Yes, sweetheart?” he replied, leaning on the doorframe. “Which dress do you think i should wear? the red one or the navy blue one?” you asked, holding both dresses up. “hmmm…” he hummed, walking up to you. “I think the navy blue will look amazing on you.” “Well then, navy blue it is.” you responded, placing the red one down, smiling at rafe. “i’ll be right back!” “I'll be waiting baby.”
“Alright, how do I look?” you asked, stepping out of the bathroom. “You look sexy always baby.” Rafe replied, placing his hands on your waist. you looked up at him, placing a peck on his lips. He held your face, deepening the kiss. you pulled apart, earning a groan from him. “hey hey, don’t get so grumpy, we’re gonna be late if we don’t hurry.” you smiled, walking up to your vanity. “yeah yeah” rafe replied, clearly staring at your ass but, he couldn’t think about too much right now. you had placed to be.
Soon enough, you made it to the party he invited you to. you both walked up and got greeted by a tipsy barry, “country club, i'm glad you two could make it.” Barry spoke, slightly slurring his words. “yeah, you know i couldn’t by myself.” Rafe replied, smiling down at you. Barry stepped aside, letting the both of you step inside. it was quite honestly, you didn’t think Barry would be the type to decorate.
“I'm gonna go get a drink baby, do you want anything?” Rafe asked, holding your waist. “no rafey, im okay. thank you.” you smiled. He nodded, walking towards the bar. “y/n!” you heard someone shouting your name. as soon as you turned around one of your friends ran up to hug you. it caught you by surprise, a little overwhelmed by it, but at last you hug her back. “Hi! how are you?” you asked, walking with her towards the couch. “I’m good, thank you for asking.”
meanwhile, in the bar.
“so, how’s it goin’ with little miss y/n?” kelce asked, taking a sip of his drank. “it’s going really good actually. a lot better than i hoped.” rafe smiled, thinking of you. “aye, im glad it’s goin’ for you man. you deserve it.” Topper spoke up. “yeah man, i mean after the shit with sofia, it was well deserved.” kelce laughed. rafe didn’t like the thought of thinking about sofia. not after everything that happened with groff. Ignoring the question, rafe just takes a sip of his drink. He turned around trying to look for you, but he couldn’t find you. he’d figure you’d be with your friends like you are in the beginning of these types of events. So, he returned to talking to his friends.
“so you and rafe huh?” a girl sitting in front of you spoke. “yeah, we’re a thing, why?” you smiled, questioning why she’d said that. “it’s just, i didn’t expect him to be with someone so..” she stop mid way. “so what?” you asked, giving her a confused look. “so..big.” she finished, trying to hold in her laugh. you just stared at her, questioning why she would say that. Without saying a word, you got up and walk towards the balcony. You could hear her along with her friends laughing as you walked away. “Y/n wait!” your friend yelled after you. “dont. just let her go, she needed to hear it anyway.”
you tried not to cry, the whole time you’d looked good then, someone had to go and ruin it for you. In the process of trying to calm down, you started to feel a lump in your throat form. Causing you to feel like you can’t breathe. Rafe wasn’t there to help you so, you were scared you’d have to do it all by yourself.
you didn’t know but, rafe had already been looking for you but, he couldn’t find you. That’s when he heard his phone ring. “yeah guys hold on.” rafe stopped, and moved to a quieter spot to pick the phone. “Y/n baby, what’s going on?” rafe worried, wondering why you sounded so distressed. “rafe, i cant breathe. i-i don't know what to do and i don't know where you are.” you said, holding onto your chest. “okay baby, slow down. where are you right now?” Rafe asked, trying to search for you. “I'm at the balcony please, i c-cant breathe.” “you cried, feeling the panic attack get worse. “alright baby, stay right there. im walking towards you.” he hung up, running towards you.
“hey hey hey, it’s okay. take a deep breath, i’ll do it with you, ready?” he spoke, leaning down towards you. you nodded, following him, trying to stimulate your breathing. “you’re okay baby, shh” he held you tight, feeling his heart tear while listening to you struggle slightly. “you all better?” rafe asked, kissing your forehead. “yeah, I'm okay now.” you smiled, following up with another question, “can we go home?” you asked, getting up. “yeah of course we can.” rafe responded, placing his hand on your lower back.
as you walked towards his car you spoke up.“thank you for being there. I couldn't find you, so I called you.”
“it’s okay baby, no need to apologize. you needed my help.” rafe replied, opening the side door for you. you waited for him go hop in the driver side to continue speaking. “i know but, you were conversating with your friends. i didnt mean to-“
You were caught off guard when rafe kissed you. you slightly whimpered when he pulled apart from you. “baby, like i said you needed me when you were having a panic attack. i’d stop anything for you.” he smiled when he watched you giggle. “never forget what I told you baby.” you looked confused as he started the car, backing out the driveway.
“I’m just a click away.”
© 2024 gensideas. All Rights Reserved.
#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe fluff#angst with a happy ending#angst#drew starkey x reader#outerbanks rafe#obx season 4#fluff#drew starkey#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#zach maclaren
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
mean it
pairing: kim seungmin x fem!reader
summary: based off of mean it by lauv <3
tags/warnings: reader is angry at seungmin, seungmin is vulnerable (wowwww)
a/n: hi guys <3 this isn't enough, i know, but im doing my best <3 i haven't been feeling my best lately (mentally) i'll get pt 3 of its okay, im okay soon <333
masterlist
The city lights blurred into streaks of gold and white through the rain-splattered window. You sat in the passenger seat, hands curled in your lap, your heart heavy with a question you weren't sure you wanted to ask.
Seungmin gripped the steering wheel loosely, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, but you knew he felt it too—the weight of something unspoken settling between you like a fog neither of you wanted to clear.
"Do you even mean it?" you finally whispered, your voice barely audible over the hum of the radio.
Seungmin’s fingers tensed for the briefest moment before he let out a sigh. "Mean what?" He knew what, but he wanted you to say it.
You swallowed, turning to look at him. "When you say you care. When you say you miss me." Your voice cracked at the last part, betraying the way your heart clenched inside your chest. "Or do you just say it because you think it's what I want to hear?"
The car slowed as he pulled into an empty parking lot, the rain tapping against the windshield like impatient fingers. He turned toward you, his expression unreadable in the dim glow of the dashboard lights.
"Is that what you think? That I don't mean it?" His voice was softer now, but there was something else in it—hurt, maybe.
You looked away, exhaling shakily. "I don’t know. You’re always busy, and when you do have time, it feels like you’re somewhere else. Like you’re saying all the right things, but they don’t feel… real."
Silence stretched between you, the kind that made your chest tighten with the possibility that maybe, this was it. Maybe you were right. Maybe he didn't mean it.
But then, Seungmin reached out, his fingers hesitating before they curled around yours. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," he murmured, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. "I know I haven’t been good at showing it, but that doesn't mean I don't care. It doesn’t mean I don’t—"
He stopped himself, biting his lip. The vulnerability in his eyes made something inside you waver.
You wanted to believe him. So badly.
"Then show me, Seungmin," you whispered. "Because I can’t keep guessing."
He nodded, determination flickering in his gaze. "Okay," he said, squeezing your hand. "Let me prove it."
And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself hope that maybe, just maybe, he really did mean it.
hope yall enjoyed <3
today's writing playlist....
(they long to be) close to you by the carpenters, toxic by britney spears, can't take my eyes off you by the boys town gang, campus by vampire weekend, heartris by niziU, mama said by kickflip, umm great by kickflip, hot to go! by chappell roan, pink pony club by chappell roan, casual by chappell roan, femininomen by chappell roan, sunroof by nicky youre, hell n back by bakar, yoga by bbno$ and rebecca black
*bold is explicit*
my playlist
taglist is open! please comment if you would like to be added <3
VERYYYY friendly warning to those who vote naur 😇
#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#skz angst#skz fanfic#skz x you#stray kids x you#skz fluff#stray kids fluff#seungmin x reader#seungmin x you#seungmin x y/n#kim seungmin x reader#kim seungmin x you#kim seungmin x y/n#kim seungmin angst#seungmin#conner writes...! ✍🏼
51 notes
·
View notes
Note
You know I've been meaning to ask.. is everything okay? I mean your pfp is blank. I understand you're uploading, but I also want to make sure you're okay
idk if i have some mental connection with you, anon, because how else i can explain that you sent this ask right when i felt so bad??? but yeah i should really put a pfp, i just can’t choose the right pic and at same time im lazy….
honestly i promised myself i wouldn’t vent online and irl because i don’t wanna be annoying or be the kind of person people get tired of. but i guess i just feel emotional rn sorry again
well 2025 kinda kicked me in the face already LMAO, it already reminded me that some people will always pick someone else and some things are just not meant to be yours. i just got reminded once again that i’m super replaceable to person i really loved and cared about. so now im realising that i was just there to pass the time until they found smth better, someone better. and they did, they did and that’s just unfair for me, i literally loved this person for 10 years and that's how i ended up
not exactly the fresh start i was hoping for lol
been feeling like a ghost in my own life lately so i guess i made this blog to just be somewhere, to talk to people, to share things i love, to feel like i exist in some small way. to find friends? idk. sometimes i wonder if i’m just taking up space here, but deleting this blog feels dramatic so whatever. although i thought bout this a lot and still think about it, but i guess im just being... yeah, dramatic, i mean i am, ive been told. so, i don't know, deleting feels rude ? and i don’t wanna be rude, i hate being rude :( i still hesitate every time i post though. and i don’t want to be that person who craves reassurance but damn, it gets lonely and im embarrassed to even say that rn
+ last year drained me so much that i couldn’t even start anything for a whole month. its about my work, i just felt stuck, exhausted before i even tried. things are getting better now with my work, though. it’s actually tied to people and honestly, i love that?? i mean, i love people very much. in general. so whenever i meet someone kind or understanding in my work, it lifts my mood
but when it comes to writing or fics, i feel like i’m always fighting myself. actually i enjoy writing, ive been writing since… 14? 13? so i try, i push through, but nothing ever feels right lately. i don’t know if it’s just a phase or if this is how it’s always going to be. why i always feel like i could’ve done better or that maybe i shouldn’t have posted at all
anyways….. i don’t usually post stuff like this. i really don’t want to be like this, i hate sounding so negative, i really do. i promised myself i wouldn’t. i usually just keep things to myself, but you seemed like you genuinely cared, sweetheart and i figured i might as well be honest, i appreciate your worry! thank u sm angel! ♡
43 notes
·
View notes
Note
im a teenager with seasonal depression and a shitty fatigue causing disability and adhd currently still in highschool and: the way you talk abt minors right to autonomy, and How School Sucks, and everything related to that is. The Most Soothing Shit i hear all day. like. reading some of your posts abt how Good graduating early and being a Problem Child was for you was So Damn Calming.
most ppl immediately go to sooth me with the "but you Are smart, and you just need to try harder!! your life isnt entirely ruined today :) just go to school tomorrow and be Good and Learn and you'll be fineee. you aren't one of the bad ones, Dont Worry :))" and that makes me. invent new types of panic attacks and neuroses on the spot.
but having an Actual Adult whos like "no. school can infact be the fucking Torture pit for some people and it is So Utterly Fucked Up how Anyone can make you do Anything, actually. you arent a bad or damaged person this is Normal and your value isnt dependant on Schooliness. do whatever makes you least likely to kill yourself. you dont owe them shit, especially not being Good. be a problem, take up space."
is. genuinely the nicest thing Ever. to me. like. Makes me Kinda Want To Cry nicest thing ever. anyway yea. thanks for that.
ahh, this is lovely to hear. but i'm so sorry you're going through this.
i remember being in high school in 2011 when the gay teen suicides were national headlines, and everyone had Opinions on it, and the "it gets better" trend was everywhere, and -- while those videos did do a lot of good!! -- they just kind of made me more furious?? because i was so mad at all these adults basically saying, "yeah, high school is an institutional pit of death and horror, but eventually you'll be 18!!" i was like hey. Help Us Now.
it was actually the song "make it stop" by rise against that gave me any peace or sense of belonging, because. here was a band i loved full of straight dudes (as far as i know, anyway) who were just fucking MAD. they were righteously angry!! they gave a fuck what was happening!! and lyrics like "the gatherings hold candles but not their tongues" rang SO true to me, as someone who was dealing with endless "oh, so sad he died, but there was something wrong with his brain" discourse.
the memory of that has made it REALLY easy to hold onto my anger in adulthood. because sometimes kids don't need "it'll be fine, just hang on :)" they need "you're gonna be okay, but FUCK ALL THIS."
it's truly fucking Unconscionable to do what we do even to neurotypical, able-bodied teens with good home lives. i want to say i can't imagine being a teen with chronic fatigue and ADHD going to classes eight hours a day.... but i can!! i did that!! and almost died!!
i honestly think the lack of autonomy in the US school system is traumatic For Everybody. different levels of trauma, for sure! but i think that's part of why adults seem so disconnected from our teen years and can't remember the realities of being an adolescent. we overwrite the horrors.
the good news is: it Does get better after school. astonishingly so.
in the meantime: you don't owe anyone Anything. literally your only job right now is to survive. do whatever you need to do to not kill yourself or end up in jail. don't worry about anything else. i promise it Does Not Matter As Much As People Say It Does.
#replies#the jail caveat because some school districts (particularly Black ones) have a pipeline system for truancy#and i do think staying out of juvie needs to be as important a priority as staying alive. for your health#but beyond avoiding jail: fuck 'em. obviously do what you can but if you can't then you can't.#you know your limits better than the adults around you. it's okay to say actually. no. i'm not gonna be a good student anymore.#suicide#trauma#c ptsd tag#tangentially
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
He's the bad guy... DUH | OT8
ᑉ³pairing; OT8 x Reader
ᑉ³genre; Fluff, angst (ish)
ᑉ³warnings; mentions of toxic boyfriend
ᑉ³Authors Note; Requested <3 Im going to be honest and say im not very confident about this piece... but let me know your thoughts
It had been weeks since your friends had started noticing the change in you. The sparkle in your eyes that used to be there when you talked about your work, your passion, your dreams—gone. The smile that was once so effortlessly bright had become a shadow of its former self. But you didn’t let anyone see it. You kept up appearances. You told them everything was fine.
But tonight, your friends weren’t buying it.
You walked into the living room, hoping to enjoy a quiet evening with your boys, but the atmosphere in the room was heavy, a tension that made your stomach churn. They were all there—Chan, Felix, Hyunjin, Seungmin, and the others—but something about their faces made your heart drop.
There was a brief silence, and you could see them exchanging glances—none of them looking directly at you.
Finally, Chan cleared his throat, a slight shift in his posture as if he were gathering his words. "Yeah, uh… We’ve noticed… well, a lot of things," he began, his voice careful, almost too soft. "It’s just, we’ve been seeing you a lot less like… you lately, and it’s got us worried."
His gaze flickered down, almost like he was searching for the right words. He always had this protective nature about him, but now, there was a hesitation, as though he didn’t want to upset you. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath before continuing.
"We’re just, uh… concerned," he said, his words slow, measured. "You don’t seem like yourself. And we can’t ignore it anymore."
You felt a pang in your chest, but you fought it off, trying to remain calm. "What do you mean? I’m fine, really." You gave a weak smile, but even you knew it wasn’t convincing.
Felix spoke up next, his voice gentle. "You’ve been distant," he said, his brow furrowed in concern. "You cancel plans all the time, and when we do hang out, you’re not… well, you. It’s like you’re carrying something heavy. You’ve been pulling away from us, Y/N."
You didn’t have an answer for that. It was true, but you couldn’t bring yourself to explain why. Not like this.
Chan finally locked eyes with you, and there was an undeniable softness there, but something else—something urgent. "Look, we’re not trying to push you, but… this thing with him," he began, stumbling over his words. "We just—we don’t understand. Why are you still with him?"
Your chest tightened at the mention of him, and you wanted to tell them everything. How could you? How could you explain the tangled mess you had gotten yourself into?
Your mind raced, panic starting to rise. "No, no," you said quickly, shaking your head. "You’re just overthinking it."
Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. "Overthinking it? We’ve seen you, Y/N. You’re different. Something’s wrong."
You bit your lip, heart pounding. You couldn’t let them keep questioning you. You couldn’t let them find out the real reason you were struggling.
Not yet.
"It’s nothing. He’s just been busy, you know? And work’s been a lot lately," you said, your voice a little too sharp, trying to brush it off. "But he’s great, really. He’s just… got a lot on his plate too."
The words felt foreign on your tongue. You knew deep down that he wasn’t great—he hadn’t been for a while now. But you couldn’t let them see that. You didn’t want them to think you were weak or incapable of handling things. You didn’t want them to keep pushing and asking more questions.
Chan’s eyes softened, but there was a flicker of doubt. "Y/N, we’ve heard you say that before, and it’s not adding up. You’re telling us he’s great, but we can see you’re not okay. You can’t keep pretending."
You swallowed hard, trying to maintain your composure. "I’m fine," you repeated, this time more forcefully. "Really, I am. Things aren’t perfect, but we’re working through it. It’s not a big deal."
But they weren’t buying it. Seungmin stepped forward, his voice quieter but filled with concern. "You’re always making excuses for him, Y/N. You’re the last person to say anything bad about him, even when we can all see how it’s affecting you."
A long silence followed. You tried to hide your unease, but it was like the truth was written all over you.
"I told you before," you started, but your voice faltered, making it sound weaker than you intended. "It’s not like I want to be with him. Things are complicated."
Hyunjin frowned. "Complicated? You think this is just complicated?" His voice was laced with frustration. "You’ve been hurting, Y/N. We see it."
Your heart beat faster, and you suddenly felt cornered. You weren’t ready to tell them the truth—not yet, not this way. But their faces were full of concern, full of care. You had to do something, say something, anything to get them to stop pushing you.
You shook your head, your voice cracking under the pressure. "It’s just… you don’t understand. He’s my mom’s boss’s son. She’s in a high position at the company, and things have finally started getting better for us—financially, at least. After everything she’s been through… if I break up with him, the company could find out. His family could use that against her. They’ll make sure she’s demoted, maybe even fired. She’s the main one supporting us right now, and if she loses her job, everything’s over. We’ll lose our house, we’ll lose everything. You don’t get it—I can’t do that to her."
The room was silent. Chan’s eyes were wide with shock, and the others were frozen, processing what you had just revealed.
Finally Felix spoke up. "Your mom loves you. She wouldn’t want you to keep putting yourself through this just to protect her."
You shook your head again, trying to hold it together, but the tears that had been threatening to spill finally broke free. "I know," you sobbed, "but what if she gets hurt? What if all of this falls apart and we end up back where we were before? I can’t let that happen."
"You don’t have to protect her from everything, Y/N," Hyunjin added, his voice soft but firm. "You’re not alone in this. We’ll be there, every step of the way. But you need to let us help you. You can’t carry this on your own."
You could feel the warmth of their concern wrapping around you, but the fear still clawed at your chest. What if you lost everything because of one bad choice? What if it was all just too complicated to fix?
Jisung was the next to speak, his voice thick with frustration but also determination. "Y/N, he’s a jerk. You don’t deserve that. No one should make you feel like you have to stay in a toxic relationship just to protect someone else. Your mom, your future, your happiness—they matter too."
"I don’t care if it means starting over," Changbin chimed in, his gaze intense. "We’ll help your mom find a new job, one that doesn’t tie her to him.
You looked at each of them in turn, and for the first time, you saw not just friends who cared for you but a team of people who would do anything to see you happy, safe, and free.
"I don’t want to lose her job," you whispered, shaking your head in confusion and guilt. "I don’t want her to think I’m ruining everything."
Felix leaned forward, his eyes soft and steady. "She won’t think that. She’ll understand why you had to do this. You’re not ruining anything. If anything, you’re doing what’s right for both of you. You deserve a life that’s not weighed down by him."
"And you deserve to be treated with respect," Seungmin added firmly, his voice full of sincerity. "This guy? He doesn’t care about you. But we do. And we’ll fight for you, even if you’re not ready to yet."
Chan gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, his voice calm and steady.
You felt your heart swell with gratitude, the knot in your chest loosening just a little more. It was still scary—breaking free from something that had controlled your life for so long. But in this moment, surrounded by your friends, you could finally see a way out. You didn’t have to stay stuck. You didn’t have to let someone else dictate your worth.
"Thanks," you whispered, your voice full of sincerity. "I don’t know what I’d do without you guys."
With their words echoing in your mind, you let out a long breath, your shoulders relaxing. You still had a long road ahead of you, but now, you weren’t walking it alone.
ઇଓ M.LIST | Ko-Fi | Taglist | Thank you for your support ♡ | Consider leaving a comment, reblog or like ♡ | © 2024 Valkyriexo
ઇଓ networks
@skzstarnet @supernovanetwork @k-labels @straykidsland
ઇଓ Taglist
@stayceebs97 @everythingboutkpop @velvetmoonlght @ririwhiskers @ch4nn13luv
@stellasays45 @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @changbiddies0325 @ayyonoona @mellhwang
@bowsnbang @jisungsbff01 @miin17 @lyracarvahall
@sunoosfavsposts @kayleefriedchicken @yougottobekittenme @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad
@intrikatie @chrizzztopherbang @catlove83
#skz#stray kids#bang chan#lee know#changbin#lee felix#jeongin#minho#seungmin#hyunjin#straykids#stray kids chris#skz imagines#skz oneshots#stray kids hyunjin#stray kids x reader
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am discovering what pain is. I'm here to report:
[IT IS UNPLEASANT]
#Jen talks#ehh ive had worse#but now that my hydrologics are shot im like super fucked#my body never really worked quite right before#but like i was so swolen . my skin was so tight it just kinda held everything together while i moved#and as soon as those cysts popped everything started moving back into place#a lot of shit was /really/ far off from where it should be#ive bee literally rotating back into place#“oh well it doesnt look like anythings dislocated” my ass#i s2g i felt both of my shoulders and both of my hips pop back into place today#ngl i dont think im gonna bounce back super well from this one#silver linings tho#while my physical health isnt good#my mental health has been getting better as things start to clear up#having my senses back to a certain degree has been nice#i might be vocal about it but i do understand that i will weather this storm#my lifes just gonna be different#and im okay with that. but things are just a lot right now#and being vocal about the pain about this life altering experience#it helps#so thank you all for being patient with me 💙🐦🔥
1 note
·
View note
Text
One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.
But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)
#oh. my god chat. do i have a lot to say now#IM LOVE HIM#oh my god#fhis is the only time ur gonna see me say i love shadow milk directly and not his art HAHAHA#FUCCKKKKK#this one rlly has me messed up#ive been sitting on this concept for a long while!!! i just cant rlly nail the vibes that i want for it… but mroe than anything i want to#show him to you guys.. so issok if yall see the flopfail before i learn how to better capture my mental image#oh it’s so possessed. btw. like not even a second of thought has to be put into it#LMAO#physical vessel for the shreds of his essence that managed to avoid being sealed up. it’s not enough of him to do anything crazy…#but just enough to put you on edge :)#golden freddy pose shadow milk (i will be drawing this some day)#his ability to move is really sporadic#sometimes he’ll be right in the middle of attempting to make a gesture and then he’ll collapse mid movement… darn#(kicks him) fuck you#i think he’s….. cute.#haha.#okay#shadow milk cookie#cookie run kingdom#mystuff#cookie run#crk#crk fanart#cookie run fanart#fave#is it egotistical to put a fave tag on MY OWN ART yeah probably BUT U GUYS DONT. GE T. HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS VARIANT#doodled an oc x canon w this concept in class 2day n realized too late someone wuz watching me draw…………… man.#IM AT TAG LIMIT????? FUCK MY LIFEEE I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A THING. BYE LOL!!!!!
233 notes
·
View notes
Note
i need some of your parrot art very sad. like, make him very very sad, as sad as you can make it. horribly sad. depressingly tragic sadness.
oops. sorry, i think i traumatized your bird.
#why are you guys like this????#i keep getting reqs like this#my inbox is filled with crackships and angst why is this my life right now#anyway parrot's blank stare at the spyglass still gets me#every time i think back to it it just makes me physically feel the devastation he probably felt#and then the complete silence on his part when spoke revealed there was no secret#no words. he just stares at the spyglass that became a symbol of his and wifies friendship and the trust between them#that parrot ended up giving up on for nothing.#the realization of how attached he got and how used he's grown to wifies being with him#he probably feels incredibly lonely when wifies is not around now#considering how hesitant he always is to separate with him#you think it reminds him of the time wifies was chunkbanned? it's like a guilt thing#and then there's the trauma of seeing one of his friends actually die in front of him#that probably messed him up a little bit#parrot has a very obvious protector complex#okay im done yapping here#and i only went over what happened in canon and didnt start making shit up#i just love parrot a lot#and i love angst#parrotx2#☆ request .#☆ my art .
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
terminal.find(WASP-132d) terminal established connection.find(omni_net) connection established omni.id.vericode(Y/N) (Y) {vericode entered} connection verified - lancer 910372
⋆𖦹 Hello!
Uh hi there! I'm new to all this omni-net thing but Kanmi says i've gotta introduce myself so hello omni-net!
My name is Coryander (or Cory but Thebe's the only one who calls me that)! she/her only please and thank you! oh ya my callsign is Ouroboros (or Oro for short) and I currently pilot a swallowtail chassis named Wallcreeper (like Tichodroma muraria)!! uuh i'm pretty new to this whole piloting thing too, well like piloting a big mech i've "piloted" my old ship a bit.. but anyways Wallcreeper's been a nice experience so far!
Kanmi says to tell you all who we are (whoops) uh i'm a part of a little lancer squad unofficially called Dido's Divers (after our leader, the Dido), it'll mostly be me on this but i might talk about my other crew-members too!
um okay let’s seee we got
myself Coryander! (callsign: Ouroboros) - Swallowtail pilot!
Thebe! my best friend! (callsign: Neutron) -
Thebe’s a Tokugawa pilot, seems pretty scary to me but she likes the heat of the battle!
Kanmi (who’s here helping me do this, thanks kanmi) (callsign: Rosy)-
our resident Drake pilot
Liza, my mentor (callsign: Sour Patch) -
Tortuga pilot (it’s so big… and scary, Liza nice-ish though)
Dido, the leader of our little crew (that’s her callsign, i haven’t asked her name and she hasn’t given it soooo Dido it is) -
Dido pilots a very scary blackbeard
uuh Kanmi says i gotta say that both mine and Thebe’s mechs were salvaged legally, they were? i’m not sure why he put that in bold? oh also we’re not affiliated with any manufacturer or any other independent company and we follow the pillars and all that good stuff
uuum i’m not sure what i’m gonna do on here but hi i guess! this is Ouroboros signing out!
OOC: hiiii so um im trying out this whole thing, we’ll see how it goes but ya! meet Coryander (spelled the phoenician way)!! she’s pretty cool i think! a bit green but i think she’s neat! she’s got her nice little crew right now and her best friend and all will be well!!
this is the sideblog of @moons-among-distant-stars, so i’ll follow anyone from there!!
uh if you’ve somehow found me not from that account then hi i’m very new to lancer and even newer to lancer rp (or any online rp for that matter) but i think lancers very cool and i really like the story y’all’re telling on here!!
so please enjoy the story of my little transfem pilot and her silly crew!!
#Kanmi's gotta show me how to do that little swirl thing he did that's cute#K: ⋆𖦹 you mean this??#yeah!!!#K: you.. you can look it up#and there are just symbols??#K: yes???? coryander you grew up on a station??? did you not use the omni-net??? what did you do????#uuuuh#K: *sigh* okay i gotta sit you down at some point#ooc: hi!!!#um so i'm trying this out!!! we'll see how it goes and how brave i actually am!! but yay for new things and maybe new community?#aaa kinda scared to actually post this#i have been writing this little thing and making this character like straight up all day#also because this is like the first time i've done smt like this ever (like i've never done an online rp thing really)#y'all're gonna have to forgive my own greeness about this and how it all works#i don't really have plans for Coryander right now other than some minor things#unrequited crush (hmm i wonder on who....) first kill. origin of callsigns. stuff like that#anyways thanks to the lancer rp community for being awesome and kind and really inspiring#i feel like im just using fangirl buzzwords here but i do mean these things /gen#also like a lot of this is subject to change cause ya#lancer rp#lancer oc#lancer ttrpg#lancer pilot#lancer rpg#lancer oc rp#aaa im scared
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
moth-flowers #17
#moth-flowers#my art#comics#autobio comics#Its a little crummy but im glad i made something. and actually posted it!#depression#Our neighbors r pretty cool. talking with the husband makes me happy cos he's just a chill dude and i think he's kinda like me?#Like he was cleaning out his car one time and he said it just takes him longer than most people bc he's kinda slow. and i had a moment of#like. recognition. I get things done but i just take a lot longer than other people and i dont really know why its just how i am#And he's like. a real adult. with a partner and kids and a house and a job. and if he can make it then maybe ill be okay too.#Also I like listening to him talk he has a very interesting cadence and overall soothing voice quality#Also the sleep schedule thing. Right now I've been feeling my best when i take a 2ish hour nap when i get home. I usually dont go to sleep#Until 12pm regardless and good god has the nap been helping me. I feel less like shit and more alert its so great#My dad keeps giving me shit about it. but fuck it we ball
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ride 755: Departure 2
Pag 1
2: Ding ding
3: The boarding the flight number 621 to Fukuoka, departing at 10:30 will close soon
4: If you're boarding, please speak to the staff member closest to you
Pag 2
2: Ah, that guy is angry
Shh
3: Oi
4: He said “I'm coming”, right?
Yessir!! I called him thirty times but he only picked up once....
He just said “soon”....
5: Then why aren't you here, Manamii!!
Pag 3
1: There's the Inter High soon, the Inter High!! Buah!!
So-sorry, I even sent many messages, but his current location-
It's been more than thirty minutes since you've said that, how's that soon!?
Pag 4
1: “Arriving late is a crime”!!
“Causing troubles is a serious crime”!!
Yessir
We told him that, too!!
3: Alright, I put Manami's ticket there, let's go
Huh!? Next to the window!?
That's a little-
Enough
4: Let's go, Yuuto, Tobirama
This time we'll fight as five people in the Inter High
'lright
Yes
No, but, he's the captain!?
Can't be
5: Ah... this must be my ticket
Pag 5
1: Kyushu
3: Take me there, too!!
4: Waaaa, Manami-saan!!
I'm so glad you came!!
Thank you so much!!
Well...
You really are like an here who arrives in the moment of need!!
Pag 6
1: Oi, don't misunderstand!! We were the ones in a pinch and this guy was the culprit!!
Yessir!
Sorry!
Ah, you exposed me...
2: Don't think you can dodge the matter of your tardiness just with your mood and cute face!!
Ah I thought I could make it
3: So?
Why... why were you late?
4: Ahh, I forgot my passport, then I remembered and turned back to get it
5: Ohhh... that's a problem indeed...
Wait!! You don't need a passport to go to Kyushu, right!?
Pag 7
1: Woah!! That was a clever excuse, Manami-san (It was so cool!)
It wasn't clever, and now let's go!!
Did you doze off?
2: Mh...? Well, on the train... it was only one stop?
So he really slept too much...?!
3: Jou-kun and Yuzukoshi-kun went on ahead?
4: They went there with yesterday's flight
Huh!
5: So, when you said “passport”, earlier- what was it, really?
6: Did you really turned back to go get something?
7: Mhh, how should I put it
8: In order to fulfill the final promise....
Pag 8
1: “The final promise”?
It was
3: a necessary piece
4: You're still wearing that ridiculous hat, Manami?
Ah... it's the one Ashikiba-san wanted last year... (Yuuto)
This is for exclusive use during the Inter High
Ohh... “exclusive use”, cool (Tobirama)
Pag 9
2: Kyoto... Kyoto...
7: Small fries!!
Pag 10
1: Then, should we go?
Are you...
Pag 11
1: finally ready?!
2: Yes....!!
3: Mi!!
6: This year's victory will be ours
Our long-awaited victory
Pag 12
1: It's checkmate!!
2: They're coming!!
3: They're coming!! One by one, to this land of Kyushu!!
4: Won't it favour us!? It's our hometown – us, Kumamoto Daichi!!
#yowamushi pedal#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 755#another short chapter i really hope sensei is okay!!#I dont mind the short chap at all (especially bc lately ive had little time to translate) but im kinda worried :')#This chapter was so asdhsdfksdg Manamiiiii you absolute disaster#who would have thought that the responsible one in this team would end up being doubash huh#now that's the surprising thing lmao#manami really went back to get the best boy cap i cant with him#btw i dont remember; does he know that the one who gave him the cap is onoda's mum?? how does he know#'i went back bc i had forgotten my passport' 'you dont need a passport to go to kyushu!?!?!?' ashdkasdfs well at lest he tried lmao#also 'Yuzukoshi-kun'??? is he the other hakogaku member?? :eyes emoji:#cant wait to see what other weirdo hakogaku will have this year#i think this year's hakogaku is the weirdest one - which is a lot tbh#i feel like its going to be my fave hakogaku team#btw doubashi wanting to leave manami behind and just run as five assdgfkdfgs hes right and tbh he should just do just that whenever manami#doesnt show up - 'well i guess we're a five people team from now on'#btw i love i we saw everyone! only kiji's team is missing#(maybe theyll shop up next chapter who knows wanatabe loves kiji enough that it wouldnt surprise me)#midosuji shows up for exactly one panel and hes already creepy af i love him#cant wait to get to know the new guy!!#and hiroshima!!!! cant wait to see them try so hard and then get defeated in the most pathetic ways like every year#i love them i cant wait to see what kind of weirdo higashimura has become#he was kinda normal last year but we cant have a normal person as the hiroshima captain lrb#and then theres kumadai#acting all important and then we all know theyll do absolutely nothing ajsgfksadf
95 notes
·
View notes
Text
"they never dated but they ARE exes" is such a funny relationship for two characters to have. very awkward relationship to have irl tho
#eliot posts#it still IS a little funny irl tho#i visoted her last night cuz i was in town and the vibe was so weird#it's like. we had an EXPLOSIVE breakup years ago and we're on amicable terms now but there's just the past kinda hanging there in the air#im no longer upset about the stuff she did to me but i AM still a lil sore abt how she hurt our other friends#but sometimes i still talk to her out of... idk. nostalgia or something?#idk if it's the same thing driving her to keep talking to me or what#i don't think she holds any ill feelings towards me cuz she admitted she was totally in the wrong for pretty much everything#and the worst i did was be TOO loyal and enable her but at the same time she thinks she'd be worse off if i didn't do all that back then idk#sometimes i wonder if she wants our old relationship but but i've made it clear we'll never be able to go back there#sidenote: her actual ex boyfriend (who i am still besties with and love so much) is the one that started the joke that me and her are exes#he was like ''i think she's not just MY ex girlfriend she's OUR ex girlfriend'' when i was telling my roommate about her#(and then i told her about that and she laughed and agreed that yeah. we basically ARE exes)#her actual ex/my bestie won't talk to her at all anymore and he's totally within his rights to do that#i actually asked him a few years ago if he was okay with me talking to her before i messaged her cuz i didn't wanna risk hurting him#anyway yeah. it's weird#seeing her left me with a lot of feelings that aren't exactly bad just Weird. idk.
15 notes
·
View notes