#and im not simply because the universe chucked every bad coincidence possible straight at my head
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God I’m so fucking miserable
#a girl I had an internship with in like 2016 who I don’t know that well#just posted like LOOK MOM I MADE IT TO AUSTRALIA!!!!#and alllllll these pictures of her here#In the same town im currently living in and in the same place I spent time on the drive here#and she just looks absolutely fucking STOKED like so purely high on life#and she’s traveling alone too and seemingly spent her whole life wanting to be here too and it just#it just really put into perspective how fucking SAD I feel due to everything#sad sad sad sad sad like that level of happiness feels like a parallel universe#and we’re in the same fucking TOWN#it sucks to know my bad gut feeling was right#it sucks to know I could be that happy but im not#and im not simply because the universe chucked every bad coincidence possible straight at my head#I don’t know what to do to get my spirits back up#I just don’t#I don’t know what to do to put myself back on the right track#I feel so beat down by life it feels impossible#I don’t feel like myself anymore#I kind of just fucking hate this country#and I can’t believe I feel that way when it’s the concept the entity I have loved the MOST#my entire fucking life#it’s not fucking FAIR#I’m just out of steam#I want to see a kangaroo and be happy I want to drive with the windows down I want to go on little road trips#I want to not have the crushing weight in the back of my mind of a $4k repair bill on every purchase I make#cars are like a sacred safe space to me and I want to look at my car and not feel devestating and fucking rage#I want to have had a pleasant Australian Road Trip up here#I want I want I want#I want the new eyes I once looked at this place with#I’m tired of the anxiety I’m tired of it all
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