#and im kicking myself because its so uneven now and its the stupidest fucking decision i could have made and im playing it off as
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sometimes my friends are like “hey you’re doing this to cope with things but it’s not a good idea” and im like “no but it’s harmless and fine!” only to realise they’re completely right and that i regret it
#fucked up my hair so bad and genuinely i don’t know why#well i do know why actually. i was overstimulated by an earlier event and my hair was on my neck and making it worse and instead of being#rational and deciding to style it or put it up i just decided to cut it#and im kicking myself because its so uneven now and its the stupidest fucking decision i could have made and im playing it off as#‘haha funny’ but my hair means a lot to me and now i just wanna cry because it was fine before and now it’s completely fucked up and i dont#know when i can get it fixed.#it’s also similar enough to a worse coping mechanism i used to have and i think i was partly substituting for that too even though i haven’t#done it in years. four years actually which i never thought would happen#but anyway. im just pissed at myself for being a fucking idiot and not thinking about things before i did them#I don’t want anyone responding to this with ‘im sure its fine’ or ‘its a learning curve’ or some shit. just fucking don’t#if i can’t get in this weekend then i’ll probably try to fix it myself just. rationally this time. slower and with help#vent tw
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