#and im getting a metro card >:3
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chronotopes · 1 year ago
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SMITHSONIAN FOLKLIFE FESTIVAL DAY!!!!!! FOR ME!!!!!!
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im-a-freaking-joy · 8 months ago
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There's a difference between as accessible path and an alternate path. And I'd vastly prefer an accessible one but it seems like there's only fucking alternate ones.
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summerf0x · 9 months ago
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Splatoon dashboard simulator
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🖌 GhostOfInkblotAcademy
god I fucking hate school first my teacher drops a ton of extra homework on me right before the exam then the Horrorbouros comes to town and forces me to evacuate in the middle of an exam and then a Grizzco employee sends a Booyah Bomb DIRECTLY into my dorm so now I have to replace all of my furniture
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🐻 mr-grizz’s-favorite-child-soldier follow
why don’t you complain AFTER you spend all night trying to clear Salmonoids out of the city
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🖌 GhostOfInkblotAcademy
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🌟agentfourhead
Day 137 of posting photographs until my boss comes back
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#at least I don’t have to deal with the other guy here anymore all he did was complain and ask me to listen to his mixtape #then again I did stuff him in a snowglobe so maybe it’s justified
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🐟 chum1738292 follow
ω-3 fans will be like “You should listen to Fishing Frenzy it’s so good!” And then the entire song will be composed of doorbell noises and choppy cello and it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever heard.
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🔁 🐠 flyfish893
The Valiant Green Flame Born in Jigokudani could slam his head through the drums and still make anything leagues better than Wet Floor or whatever weird music the land-dwellers listen to
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🐚 selfishshelfish
“Muck Warfare is actually about Marina Ida’s past as a weapons engineer for the Octarian army” yeah and Ink Me Up is actually about Marie Cuttlefish’s secret job as a special agent
#honestly *ff *he *ook fans scare me #like I love their music but there’s no way I’d ever interact with their fandom outside of existing on the same social media platform #next thing you know they’re going to say Fly Octo Fly’s actually about an amnesiac soldier escaping to the surface #or Nasty Majesty is about lesbian sex
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🎱 applicant-10008
I’m glad I never have to deal with the Deepsea Metro ever again
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🎱 applicant-10008
IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN????
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🎱 applicant-10008
Ok ok ok ok I just need to get out of here and Pearl is here so things can’t be too bad
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🎱 applicant-10008
DEDF1SH??????
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♠️ TopTableturfTactics follow
Something that’s always bothered me about the Alterna Adventures card packs is that they feature some guys I haven’t seen anywhere else.
Like the other expansion packs always have some sort of connection with other creatures (EX: Zapfish Zeal’s titular Zapfishes and other electricity-based creatures) or brands. But these guys are brand new! I’m starting to wonder if they’re original characters but DJ Octavio apparently has some sort of historical significance I’m currently looking into.
If anyone has any information, please DM me or send an ask in!
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🏹 NEOthree follow
@captain-three
#might want to keep an eye on this one, boss
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annadelveys · 2 years ago
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What a fun day, I walked around Champs elysees, randomly found Musee de la Mode, had a great sandwich & a Glass of white wine, wrote 3 pages (more that I have written in months), worked a little, went to the jardin d'elysees (I think) & read a bit of Nana. Then I walked and walked and walked, boulevard de st germain and cafe de Concorde, a little bookstore where I got a tiny Zola book, had to get myself pain meds and got to the tour montparnasse when it started raining horribly and also it got very dark and cloudy so I didn't go up, just took the metro back to my place. Btw my card didnt work so I had to climb up, down & up again (its 140 steps ok!!). Anyways. I have to wake up early tomorrow but im debating getting a drink tonight. I wish I could do power naps for real.
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kaidatheghostdragon · 8 months ago
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Your math is great, but i think we're working on different scales here.
The largest city in illinois is obviously chicago, but ALL other cities are less than 200,000.
In fact, only six states have a city over 1 million population.
This is what i mean when i say that non americans (and even many americans who lived their entire lives within an urbanized area), dont understand how big America truly is.
America's population is split about 50-50 between a few dozen cities over a million population, and literally everyone else. Google-fu states that 28% of america's landmass is metropolitan, but only 10% of THAT is urban, which means about 25% total is rural development (neighbohoods, small towns, etc). About 40% of land is farmland, and about 29% is protected wildland. I'd imagine the last 10% or so is unprotected, undeveloped land. That doesn't sound like a lot, but generally, development growth is done on farmland, and farming practices get more efficient to make up the loss.
Overall, america is extremely open and spread out countryside dotted by small towns (less than 10,000 population.) 10,000-50,000 is defined as micropolitan, which usually covers a handful of neighboring small towns rather than being a single urban entity. Anything above 50,000 is considered metropolitan, and regardless of whether it's a single city or a handful of neighbors, it's considered a major regional population hub.
I was imagining amity park slash elmerton area as 100,000-200,000 thousand at the absolute largest (making it a major illinois hub), which is only about 20% of your estimate and already cuts down all your estimates to about 1/5th.
Looking at the pictures of the cities in the first link i gave, comparing to pics of amity park, they look closer to the 100,000-200,000 sized cities than chicago. The art style definitely leaves room for interpretation, but these images always looked like a city of this range to me.
The amity park mall, in particular, is exactly the same kind of mall build i can find in one of my neighboring 60,000 pop towns. Note the large wide building, only a few stories tall, surrounded by parking lot. Here in rural america, we build out, not up! That means that the images below are just the town centers, not the entire city (well, im pretty sure the image of chicago is like 90% of the city)
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Chicago:
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Aurora: (180,000)
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Naperville: (150,000)
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Rockford: (150,000)
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I especially like this picture of Rockford, its almost exactly what i imagine downtown amity park to look like. Its also the largest city outside of the Chicago Metropolitan Area (Aurora and Naperville are inside that area, among others), so it has its own metropolitan area that actually totals at 348,000 people.
Onto hospitals:
I found that illinois has 138 hospitals and about 12.6 million people. That's about 91,000 people per hospital, which is equal to 1 or 2 hospitals to cover all of amity, 3 if we're being extremely generous and consider amity one of the wealthier metro hubs. This is an extreme over simplification of course (what constitutes a hospital vs emergency clinic, what is the range of capacity size for these hospitals, how evenly distributed are emergency services distributed throughout the state, etc), but we're talking rough estimates here. If we're arguing that Amity needs to expand hospitals to become self-sufficient, just doubling that number is gonna make a huge difference, when you consider that building an addition wing on a hospital to increase capacity by say, 10%, is usually the norm.
I also think your credit card math might be at the extremely high end. We gotta remember that amity is going through an economic crisis and major shipping shortages during this transition. Whats the point of all that hassle to buy and ship a ferrari to your front door, when your already struggling to get enough food delivered to feed your family. Yeah, people do stupid things when they suddenly have bottomless wealth, and i dont doubt that a handful of people did it just to prove they could, but then what? They cant drive that ferrari anywhere because it runs on gasoline, which there's a critical shipping shortage of. If it breaks, you have to special order parts, which could take multiple attempts before they get delivered.
Meanwhile, anyone with an old pick-em-up truck is getting it outfitted by the fentons to run on ecto so it doesnt take them an entire day to walk to the store on the other side of town and haul whatever groceries they were able to procure all the way back home. Neighboring farms can haul their harvest into the local farmer's market to sell directly to shoppers, while long-term solutions are still being planned and built.
The ferrari just becomes a lawn ornament for everyone's amusement.
Most credit card purchases are gonna be essentials those first few months, as everyone orders everything they and their neighbors need, and trade any surplus that gets through for them to those that were hit harder by the grand shipping lottery.
You bring up a great point about tucker hacking the cards. He can definitely ensure that the free money isn't just a temporary resource, but he'd have to be smart about it, and he might even deny cards to some of the more outragous spenders because there are still risks involved. Bankrupting the credit companies will get ALL of those cards shut down, not to mention many of the drastic measures they might attempt to save themselves.
Okay this is actually a partial reply to another post
but my reply got so long i think tumblr literally cant cope LMAO so (context the Amity park perception filter thread with @kaidatheghostdragon which i will edit a link into after posting (X) Edit: the context link is now attached)
Honestly they might not CRASH crash the economy but I honestly think they could do some serious damage. At the very least if Amity is going to start essentially printing USD with these cards to get infrastructure and the like set up the inflation within the town is going to go crazy and they might just need a new currency. I think it's also determined by how LARGE you consider Amity to be. As I've always seen it described as a small town I've always envisioned it to have a population of around 10,000 people. AS IT TURNS OUT the wiki describes it as 'Amity Park is depicted as a moderately large urban city, reminiscent of Chicago, San Francisco, and/or Philadelphia' WHICH IS WAY LARGER THAN I IMAGINED. I don't know SHIT about American cities or their layouts apart from the fact that Everything Is Squares and also apparently the junctions are death(? Apparently America doesn't have roundabouts??? Bro??? I don't know if that was a Simpsons gag but I think about it maybe half as often as I use roundabouts), BUT the point is that google says those cities are somewhere around 800,000 to 2.6 million.
Honestly I think those are weird numbers because those are enough of a range to not be at all considered the same size imo but we'll take Philadelphia as our base bc that's the one in the middle at 1.5 million. In "Amity Park's" population statistics (X) if you take everyone from 20-44 (we're pretending people under 20 can't get one bc apparently 13 year olds can get them with special permissions and that fills me with a special kind of anguish to have learned) but if you take everyone from 20-44 that population totals something like 613,028.
We'll give an error margin of 10% to account for people who are auto disqualified for whatever reason and between that error margin and the people I'm ignoring I think it's realistic to assume you could get 551,726 people credit cards. Unlimited ones? maybe not. But look me in the eyes and tell me if Sam Manson was told 'We can fix the public infrastructure that's damaging the environment and cause serious damage to predatory lending companies' She would not use her families wealth to be backing people as some kind of collateral/co-signer to get OBSCENLEY high credit cards SO FAST. That's to say nothing of if Tucker and the Other Nerds decide it's actually completely fine for them to hack into these companies and auto approve all these credit cards. Like the towns in dire straights so why not? It's unfortunately a pretty human tendency to see the people you care about in trouble and decide you're willing to throw literally anyone and everyone under the bus so I can see him/them doing it.
So. 551,726 people, with theoretically unlimited money to spend. CONSERVATIVELY if they racked up $500,000 USD on each card, the amount of money spent by Amity would end up being $275,863,000,000 or $275.8 BILLION Now the GDP of the USA is $25.44 Trillion, which looks like $25,440,000,000,000 so it's not a LOT in the grand scheme of things but it is just over 1%, I'm not going to pretend I know what that does economically to the entire USA but consider that Beer sales in the USA accounted for $106 billion in 2022, and that amity would potentially be generating nearly three times that. (X) I have just gone on a fucking TANGENT about the economy in this silly fun times thread of ours so I apologise I will try and sum up very quickly why I think they could spend so much so quickly. Philadelphia has a total of 37 hospitals. They built a new one sometime around 2021 to the tune of $1.6 billion (X) If Amity built a new hospital for liminality care and a few new ones Just Because They Realised They Can, say they build ten new hospitals, which is a VERY LARGE amount of new hospitals to build on workforce Alone, but they probably have tireless ghost workers who are probably obsessed with construction and regular living workers who want to be paid in the times before everyone had acclimated to the ghosts properly. Split among 551,726 people that's actually a fairly reasonable $28,999.90, which, hilariously, is actually just in and around the average limit to credit cards. So they wouldn't even need Sam or Tucker to mess with credit cards yet (X) Averages typically suck as a way of measuring stuff but this isn't a Real Life Government Project so I'm willing to call that acceptable. So if it's only $30k for ten hospitals why the hell am I citing a fat $500k each? Luxury Shit. A few luxury cars and some big name watches and you've blown through that $500k no problem. That's to say nothing of all the REST of the infrastructure that needs fixing - the roads, the schools, the libraries, the replacement materials for the transport system - hell building the APDC is going to probably be another billion dollar project if they want two portals large enough to get what is probably multilane traffic through in regards to transport. Sure the cars won't be useful for long maybe but that's just one example. Jewellery, coats - hell designer shoes and collector nonsense can go for STUPID amounts and as people who are desperate to outpace their neighbours in Cool Stuff They Own realise that their neighbours are capable of getting all the same crap they are? people are either going to stop caring or they're going to start buying some Really Obscure Shit. For the others who just wanted to buy pretty things? There's literally no reason to stop. Amity might have to limit the amount of crap people can get shipped in per week/impose serious shipping tariffs just to make sure the new FTL supply chain doesn't collapse because people are determined to get their new Cashmere and Mohair coats with Gold Embroidery or what the hell ever on next day delivery. Honestly in this scenario the cards over time thing probably doesn't matter because I'm pretty sure the Amity expenditure would DESTROY the lending company, which might then actually be the thing to get Amity rediscovered or maybe they space all these buildings out over time so they keep living the sweet life.
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vintage-tech · 2 years ago
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If it means anything at all one of the shiftythrifting mods lives in my county and im pretty sure all those boxes of miscellania they sell are why I can't find anything funny/interesting/weird anywhere anymore
a) Move to the Pacific Northwest. Far as I know no mods of that page live in the PNW, surprisingly. Didi (the creator) remarked once or twice about how Washington and Oregon seem to be an epicenter of thrift weirdness, and as a lifelong resident... I'll agree, damn skippy it is! And so many thrifts to choose from in the metro areas. For the record, I am a huge fan of that blog and its crew, we get along even if this blog’s comments don’t show up in that blog’s notes, and I believe that there’s enough room for everyone to live/thrift together in harmony.
b) The statistical likelihood of one person (even if they have Junk Boxes to provide for) taking every wild thing away is pretty low unless you have a small number of thrifts available to browse. Try to find the offbeat places, the ma-n-pa places, the mindbending crap-from-floor-to-ceiling / how-does-this-get-past-the-fire-marshall places.
c) All I can say is get to the stores early and/or attempt to find the truly random junk places like Goodwill Outlet or storage locker buyers. (They are NOT like what you see on TV. A few years ago there were four locker-junk stores within 5 miles of me and 2-3 more operating yardsale-style out of their garages.) You will never leave with your hands or the SD card of your camera empty if you have such an uncapped fire hydrant of ridiculous randomness nearby. Wear gloves when going to the Outlet, yo; there’s plenty of dirt, grease, and broken glass hiding.
d) Do not give up! Ever! Funny and interesting and weird are really subjective and in the eyes of the beholder. I find what I find and post it here or to my thrift blog and people either like it or don't.
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pentagonpimp69 · 3 years ago
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“What is happening with Peter?” Peter Parker x Reader
Summary: Peter and Y/N are good friends. But when Peter goes missing and then shows up days later, beaten up, Y/N tries to get to the bottom of what happened to her friend.
Peter and I are pretty good friends. We eat lunch together, have a majority of your classes together, text often, and hang out a lot. I feel like I know him pretty well. Well, I thought I did at least. 
Peter hasn’t been at school for 3 days now. I’ve texted him a thousand times and he hasn’t answered. I asked Ned if he’s heard from him and he said no. MJ was the same.  We were all pretty worried. I was thinking about dropping by his place and trying to talk to his Aunt but I didn’t know if that would be to over bearing. I was just very concerned. I decided that if he didn’t show up on Thursday, I would go to his apartment on my way home from school.
But on Thursday, Peter finally showed up.
But he was in pretty bad shape. His face was black and blue and he had a very noticeable limp. The second I saw him, I ran up to him and gave him a big hug. 
“Hssssss, hi Y/N.” He says with a painful hiss.
“Peter! Where have you been? What happened?” I asked practically screaming. I was so happy to see him yet I was so confused about what happened.
“I got jumped on the way to my internship this weekend.” He says. He isn’t making eye contact which makes me think he’s hiding something.
“Did they catch the guys who did this to you?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I didn’t report it.” He answers.
“Why?” I asked him. Why wouldn’t he report getting assaulted???
“Because it’s fine Y/N. All they got was my wallet with $23 in it and my metro card. Big whoop.” He says. He almost seems annoyed that I was asking.
BELL RINGS
“I’ve got to get to class.” Peter says slamming his locker shut and pushing past me. “I’ll see you later Y/N”
“We have the same class!” I yell to him. We always walk to chem class together? What is wrong with him? I can’t believe he’s acting this way. 
I walk a few feet behind Peter on the way to class. I don’t even want to talk to him anymore with the way he’s acting.
As we get to the Chem rooms Peter briefly turns to say something but I walk past him and got to my seat next to MJ. I slam my books onto the counter in anger.
“Whoa, what’s up with you?” MJ asks.
“Look who finally decided to show up.” I nod my head towards where Peter and Ned were sitting. MJ seems just as surprised as me by Peters appearance.
“What the hell happened to him?” She asks me in a hushed voice, not wanting him to hear. 
“He got jumped apparently. But get this, he didn’t report it to the police” I tell her. Her face shows that she doesn’t believe that story either.
“Y/N , MJ!” The teacher yells from the front. Both of our heads snap to the front of the class.
“Yes sir?” I answer.
“Like I just said, please put on your safety gear. We’re doing experiments today.” He says, clearly annoyed by MJ and I not paying attention.
We walk to the back to grab our gear and MJ is glaring at Peter the whole time.
“So he gets jumped and he can’t answer his damn phone?” She whispers to me.
“Exactly! Theres something he’s hiding. He got super annoyed with me when I asked him about it.” I tell her as we walk back.
“Let’s figure it out at lunch.” She says as we set up for class.
I nod. As we are getting stuff ready, I look over at Peter and notice he’s looking at me. I try to motion for him to text me but the teacher begins to start, interrupting me. 
I have to get to the bottom of this.
-
“So what he saying?” MJ asks as she sits down at the lunch table.
“Nothing! He still won’t answer my texts!” I tell her, “I wonder if his phone got broken during the ‘assault’”
“But he could text back from his computer! Why wouldn’t he answer any of us?” She asks.
“I don’t know.” I answer her. I begin writing Peter another text before I get interrupted by Ned.
“Hey guys!” He says in his usual bubbly voice as he sits down.
“Hey ned, where’s Peter?” I ask.
“Wow good to see you too Y/N.” Ned says, acting offended. I rolled by eyes at him.
“Sorry. Hi Ned. How are you?” I ask him, trying to only be a little condescending.
“I’m good! Thank you for asking! And as for your other question, Peter is in the library trying to catch up on the work he missed.” He says.
“Did he tell you what happened?” MJ asks Ned.
“Yeah, he got jumped and he missed a few days to recover.” Ned says, oddly not look at either of us. Ned clearly knows.
“Did he explain why he didn’t answer any of our texts?” I ask him.
“He was recovering.” He answers. He seems defensive about our questioning. MJ and I share a look of confusion. 
“You said he was in the library?” I ask him. Ned nods.
“I think I’m gonna go talk to him.” I say standing up.
“I don’t thinks that’s a good ide-“ Neds starts. 
But I interrupt him, “I’ll be back!”
I stand up and walk out of the cafeteria and head to the library. I’m going to have to corner him in order to get him to tell me the truth. 
As I walk into the library, I immediately spot Peter. Sitting at a table with his back to me and a bunch of school work surrounding him. I walk up behind him and grab his shoulder. He wines at my touch. I immediately pull my hand back.
“Peter, I’m sorry.” I say as I take the seat next to him.
He shows a weak smile and rubs his shoulder, trying to sooth the pain I had just caused him. “It’s okay.” He says through gritted teeth.
“What is going on?” I ask him.
“Nothing. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your texts. I was just trying to recover.” He says. He doesn’t look at me, he just keeps working on his missed assignments. 
“Peter.” I say. Im getting super frustrated by him. Especially since he won’t even look at me.
“Y/n.” He says back. 
Thats it.
I grab his face sharply and he whines again. But I don’t let go. Now, I can get a clear look at his face. His eyes are both black, his nose might be broken, and the edge of his mouth is even a little blue.
“What the hell happened Parker?” I ask him again. “And I want the truth this time.”
He sighs.“I got jumped.” He still isn’t looking me in the eyes.
“I know you’re lying Peter.” I tell him. He finally looks me in the eye. Tears are starting to form. “Peter, you can tell me what happened.” I tell him.
Suddenly, he pushes me away. “No I can’t Y/N.” He starts pulling all of his stuff together quickly with tears are running down his face.
“Peter, I’m sorry. I’m just worried about you!” I say trying to calm him down.
“Don’t be!” He yells, “In fact, don’t ever worry about me again!” He zips up his bag and practically runs out of the library.
There is 100% something he’s hiding. I pull out my phone to text MJ.
“I’m going to his place after work. There’s something he’s hiding.”
Hope you guys like it! Its something new for me! Please let me know what you guys think and if you would like a part 2! Love you! Stay safe!
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notatallinterestingstuff · 3 years ago
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With Love, She.
Clang! Blaam! Boom! The echoing sounds of the utensils falling down startled her from her trance. ‘Ughhhh, he’s going to be furious again!’, she thought to herself, picking up the plates in a hurry. It was not the best of days for her. Lunch was not yet ready; the maid has not yet come and Nirav has once again spilled rice on the floor. Arun was about to come home and he would not be pleased with this work. And yet another load on her growing and immeasurable life. She cursed her father under her breath and began trotting the 3-way road again. ‘Hey, you! I am working so hard to maintain the house and you keep a petty fight for some rice? Today, it ends! You are going to clean up the mess!’, she exclaimed with suppressed anger. But then Nirav looked back at her, gave her a mischievous grin and ran out of the house in a flurry. ‘One day, that boy is going to get it from me. But what can I do? My heart doesn’t allow it.”, she told to herself. Exhausted, she returned to her usual chores with a half-hearted attitude. Cleaning the house, doing the dishes, is that my life? Don’t I have dreams? Shouldn’t I too reach failure and then work hard to rise? As she fell into the ever-growing abyss of her thoughts, her mind reached out and grabbed a memory. ‘Daddy, when will we go to the museum?’, the little girl cried at the top of her voice. Her father, in an ever-calming voice replied,’ Don’t you worry child! As long as this elephant is with you, he will ride you to the museum, with free lollipops!”, The girl was now laughing and calm with the help of the tickles from her daddy. On the rickshaw, she asked her father, “Daddy, yesterday I heard the 5th class girls cry about life in the corridor instead of studying. Humph, what cry-babies!”. The father burst out into laughter, responding with a question,” What do you thing life is sweetie?”. “Life is when Ms. Rose doesn’t give us homework and gives us ice-cream!”, she exclaimed in an innocent voice.” But what is life daddy?”, she repeated herself, her innocent and childlike mind wanting to know everything and being restless. Her father, now in a graver voice, replied,” Look at those puppies running frantically behind their mother with utmost love and hope that she will feed them. She does feed them, but without herself eating, knowing that her children come first, even more than her life. That’s life. It is the cruelest thing in the world, but when accompanied with a certain something it makes your life meaningful.’ “Ice cream?”, she answered the question diligently. “Haha-ha! No, my precious darling! Its love!”, he told her. “And remember, no matter what life gives you, remember that love always makes it what it is, and you get to decide what’s life and what’s love”. “Then I love love so much!”, she proclaimed to everyone. She continued to lick her lollipop joyously, unbeknownst to her what life was going to make her do. TTRRRRRRIINNNGGGG! The loud ringing of the doorbell startled her, causing her to cut her own finger a little on the skin. She grimaced in pain as she ran to answer the door. “Hey, sweetheart! Today was so stressful and boring! Could I get a cup of water please? And why is rice lying on the floor? Has Ritesh done this? How can he so irresponsible? Why have you not controlled him yet?”, came in the questions as Arun stormed inside the house from work. “I’ll take care of it, I’m sorry, had a lot of work today.”, she replied trying to stop the bleeding simultaneously. “Did you just cut yourself? How can you be so careless, huh? Sometimes I feel like life is so cruel, always doing this to me!”, Arun castigated her. All she could do was give back a fake smile as Arun brought the bandages. She felt a little comfort even though the wound was stinging a lot. “Let me go buy today’s dinner from outside, you take some rest.”, Arun convinced her. As soon as Arun was gone, she was back to cleaning the dishes, wiping an invisible tear off her eye. Damn you, dad! Why did you have to leave me so early? If it wasn’t for that rickshaw accident that
day, you would have been still here, with me, not lying in a hospital bed for 20 long years, she cursed under her breath. She turned off the tap, wound still stinging, and proceeded to clean the mess on the floor. She knew her life wouldn’t be same after that accident, the sounds of the crash still ringing in her ear, even after 20 long years. She had dreamt to be an IAS officer, make a difference to her nation, but that obstacle set her back at least by a lifetime. Her mother, influenced by relatives and peer pressure, got her married off to Arun Apparkumari, a GM at an MNC. He is a good man, but sometimes doesn’t feel the way that she feels. And, 2 children later, here she is, a grown independent woman by society, but a shattered yet dreaming little girl by heart. She did what she only could do about her miserable life, weep, sometimes for long times alone, as she kept on her apparent duty of daily chores. Just a few footsteps away, a door closed, listening to the unheard sorrows. The next day early morning, she boarded the bus to meet her in-laws, for whom she was the only caretaker. As she took a seat near the window, a wave of fresh air flew through her face. This was the only part she liked about the bus ride. She could see the everchanging world in its glow, nature and man working together to create a sustainable and luxurious life. Cars swept past the bus, metros riding over, people in a hurry to do something important, most importantly women rushing to work, trying to bring about a change in the society. Her thoughts were interrupted by a girl, dressed up fashionista style, on a motorbike and smoking a cigarette speeding through the roads, hurling obscenities at other drivers. That brought back a fond memory from her twenties. It was nostalgic time again. ‘Hey Sathya! Come fast! If Mom finds out about this, they’ll throw me out of the house for sure!”, she shouted in excitement as her friend Sathya came running towards her. “Its fine da! Anyways it’s our last day meeting. Who knows what will happen after you get married and sent off? Start cleaning vessels now itself! You will have practice!”, she laughed hysterically looking at a sulking face. “Come on fast! We have no time to lose!”, she shouted as they both started on a rental bike. As the wind rushed through her face, and her skin feeling the true touch of mother nature, she rode the bike as far as the road took her. It was the happiest she had been in a while. Since her father’s accident, her whole house was in chaos as her gullible mother ignored her pleas and, with the advice of the so-called relatives, fixed her marriage. The only way to spend all her pent-up anger was today. She wouldn’t do anything to miss today’s thrill. That day lived up to its name. Playing with Sathya on the beach, teasing and laughing about the men following them, fun with the waves and finally icecream on the rocks witnessing the grandest and splendor sunset. “What is life da?”, she asked her friend, repeating the question for as long as she had known Sathya relishing her ice-cream. “According to me, it would be travelling the world with my love and enjoy doing what I do. What about you? What’s your thoughts?”, Sathya replied relishing her ice-cream too, not knowing the ripples it caused. She began to wonder about her life after marriage. She was in a deep abyss now, with no way out or no one to help her. When will I get this feeling again? What will happen to me? What about my dreams? “Hello, snap out of it! You’ve gone and dropped the ice cream, now you’ve made me go crazy!”, Sathya said sarcastically. But she ignored that and asked her, “But why only roaming around the world? Why not follow your dreams and pursue your passions? Isn’t that supposed to make you happy? Sathya with a calm mind answered her question,” My dear friend. You have confused yourself with life. Life is not always cruel. When I meant the world trip, I was not going to obviously enjoy the trip. It was the person I love that I’m going to enjoy with. That’s what makes
us all happy. Life doesn’t give us obstacles; it gives us the stairs. Now whether you run on it or trod is your choice.” That sentence was stuck in my mind for a long time. “Madam! Please wake up, the stop has arrived”, said the bus conductor carrying out his duty. Back to the stairs once again, she thought as she got off the bus. Back at home, Arun was waiting. To make a difference. She reached home early. In spite of all the things that she did for her in-laws, they never quite respected her and treated her the way she should. But, she did it for her satisfaction, the way her father told her. Anyways she got to eat some ice-cream on her own! As she opened the door, out came a deafening yell. “SURPRISE!!!!”, screamed Arun, Nirav and Ritesh at the top of their voices. “Happy life celebration day, you idiot!”, Arun screamed sarcastically. “What took you so long? Do you know how much time Nirav spent baking that cake? Even with his girlfriend he doesn’t talk this much time with!”, he joked. “DAAAAAD! IM JUST 11!”, Nirav screamed blushing, a pink color slowly rising on his cheeks. “What’s all this going on?”, she asked with genuine astonishment. “I’ll tell you later, but first have this ice-cream cake. And that too your favorite! Pan masala flavor!”, Arun exclaimed. “Papa, I was busy writing the card. That’s why I gave him the wrong flavor. Don tease me!”, Ritesh shouted feeling guilty. And then, that day, she had a blast. Singing songs, going through old photos, charades with the family and a surprise visit from mom. It was the happiest she had been in days. She wiped out the pains of the last few weeks and embraced the day with full hands. “So now that the kids have gone to sleep, tell what does this life celebration day means, Mr. Party planner?” she asked Arun as they sat near the balcony. “Before I say that, I want to say thanks!”, he replied. “For what?”. “For everything. For the days you had to go to raise those 2 kids to keeping up with my atrocities and my mood swings, taking care of the relatives, and for facing everything that life gave you. It’s going to change from now”, he replied staring at the night sky. “I still don’t get it. What are you trying to thank me for now? It’s not even my birthday!”, she replied still in shock. “It’s even more special! Its Mother’s Day. See, when life doesn’t exactly give what you want, it is up to us to make sure that we squeeze the best out of it. And mothers always do it. They have to. And they always. It’s hard, people won’t get the pain, the losses and the challenges that come with it. But what they also miss is the small tiny happy moments that comes along with it”, he replied calmly to her. And that’s when it hit her. It hit her hard. What her father said. What Sathya meant. What she was missing most of her life. Life is not the true pleasure. It is love. Her love towards her family. Her love that keeps her going every single day, making her strive to just see the smile on her children’s face, to always love her husband no matter what. Its love that makes us feel alive, not life. “Nirav heard you weeping that day. And I almost felt the pain when he said it to me. So, as a family we are going to give you the greatest gift we can think of. Or at least to us accordingly. I can’t afford a necklace or something….”. “Just say it Arun”, she laughed. “Our love and support. From now no matter what you do, when you do or how you do it, its going to be your way. Let it be opening a restaurant or trying for a job or even being lazy like me, no matter what the society or any bloody person says, we will support you. Its your life, you apply the love to it, it will reward you back. That is what today’s life celebration day was. From now, you are not just a hardworking woman. For the society, you are the mother”, he said her, meaning each and every word from his heart. And that day she made a decision. It is going to be love that will lead her, not life. That day she understood what the world tried to express to her in different ways. That day, she
understood love. That day, she became her. With all the love from the multiverse, Ragav
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sapphicgarlic · 4 years ago
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how has it been so far ? did you get a lie in and breakfast done ? im so noesy im so sorry 🥴
its been great so far!!! I didn't get to lie in (I sleep pretty terribly, I woke up at exactly 3:51 am) but I had a lovely breakfast (my mom bought fresh bread!!!) we talked about racism and sexism and my brother actually listened this time!! and it makes me super happy seeing my mom so “woke” (hate this word but it fits) and being active on being anti-racism and learning by herself too!!! 
but I think the highlight thus far is my friends. I have this thing that I send everyone that is close to me a video on their birthday because its like an animated card and its super cute and I love it (since I known them for a few years I add another ones but they are not as good) and my vary talented friend drew me doing the      face with a birthday cake and a lil kitten licking it and singing the song for me!!!! that is one of the most thoughtful gifs I ever receive because its so on brand for me jsjsj 
and my other beautiful friends made a compilation of all the photos I have send our group chat with the rio metro music in the background! its a song they made for our metro and its brilliant like its legit so fucking well made and well thought and its fucking addictive. only recently I got out of this habit but I normally just start signing it when my mind goes blank or I am not paying attention. its fucking amazing. he also added like our inside joke and “next station” JUST SO BRILLANT and definitely one of the most thoughtful gifs too that I will cherish for life
ps: i will also get to see my step-dad mad because he bought me a very tradicional normal girly bouquet with roses. if you spend a day with me you know that's not my vibe at all but its fine and pretty, considerate, whatever ( I know my interests which makes shopping for a gift kinda difficult so its a safe bet). but then my mom went to the same florist and bought me a huge fucking bouquet that is totally up my alley (with sunflowers, lilys and some wildflowers too) and its fucking huge and it totally puts the other one to shame. the funny aspect is that they both went to the same shop and he will get pissed which I love. if you want I can post them side by side sjfkjfnfsjnjsfnfj
I love to talk and since its the first day in years that I actually have a good birthday day I am v happy and I love to share sjsfjj
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kim-seungmine · 6 years ago
Text
a thousand chapters
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title: a thousand chapters
characters: bang chan of stray kids
genres: romance (it’s cheesy sometimes so beware), angst, best friends to lovers au, idol au, idol!chan, so i attempted to write song lyrics (spoiler: maybe i suck)
warnings: language
word count: 7138 words
synopsis: bang chan writes only 3 love songs throughout his life, and all of them are for you.
a/n: this is a little bit non-linear so please pay attention whether it’s present or past! i used different types of dividers, i hope you guys understand. i have so much feelz for chan and im not sorry
Call it an exaggeration, but sitting on your couch while watching TV and munching snacks before 9PM was truly a miracle. Nothing could ever make you leave work at 5PM, but today was an exception. You made an exception. An annual prestigious music awards was held today, and while you never really paid attention to awards, you made sure you told your manager that you had to leave as soon as the sun went down.
Now the winner of the most anticipated award, Daesang, was about to be announced. Interestingly, the two groups that had the biggest potential to win—Stray Kids and ITZY—both belonged to JYP Entertainment.
“I’m sure everyone has been waiting for this category,” the male MC trailed off, causing you to bite your bottom lip in impatience. Just as the female MC opened the envelope, your door bell rang. You clicked your tongue, making time to raise the TV volume first before running to your door. A delivery man was standing there, holding a small clear case. A CD? Without at least a bubble wrap to protect it?
“Are you Y/N?” the man asked, and you nodded absent-mindedly as you took it and closed the door without saying thank you. It was rude, but you could care less since both MCs were now smiling at the camera to tease the audience.
You quickly went back to your favorite spot—on the right side of the couch—and flipped the case. A clumsily-written tracklist was taped on it, and you frowned when you noticed a short note at the bottom.
“Chan hyung will kill me for doing this but you need to know. It’s been long overdue. -Seo Changbin”
A little panicked, you opened the case to see if there was anything else, but that was it. You read the tracklist, and the title of the first song sounded painfully familiar.
“Congratulations to… Stray Kids!”
You looked up, a relieved smile plastered on your lips. The whole audience cheered and clapped as the said nine guys stood up from their seats, dumbstruck look on their faces. They walked up the stage, took the trophy, spent the first 3 minutes sobbing and hugging each other before actually delivering their speech.
Leader Bang Chan grabbed the mic, causing you to shift closer to the television. “I was just a boy who loved music. I still do, and words can’t explain how thankful I am for all of you,” he said, half-sobbing. “Winning a Daesang has always been our dream, and now that it came true, we promise we’ll become even better.”
He went on thanking a bunch of people, from his family and friends in Sydney to fellow celebrities. And then he paused, staring at the camera for a while before blinking his tears away. “And to everyone who’s supported us and made us stronger, I love you. I hope your heart is where I’ll always stay.”
You glanced down, trying to fight back your own tears.
◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇
(I Hope) Your Heart Is Where I Stay
“You really should go to sleep at normal hour, Chris,” you protested, sighing at the sight of Chan copying your Math homework in the speed of light. “And please do your homework before you start training.”
Chan dropped his pen as he wrote down the last number, pouting at you. “We finish school at 3. I go to the company right away. I have lessons until 10. I have dinner at 11. Then I practice until 5 in the morning. I shower, get ready, then meet you at the bus stop at 6. Tell me where I should squish in ‘working on homeworks.’ “
“Why do you go to school, then? You don’t even bother to make time to do school stuffs,” you fired back, not wanting to admit that Chan did have a packed schedule. Your best friend said nothing, only sliding your notebook back to you.
“I’m sorry,” you apologized. “I didn’t mean to say it like that.”
You poked at his dimples when he didn’t respond, scooting closer to examine his face. “You’re such a baby, Bang Chan,” you commented before walking back to your seat. Chan shifted his gaze to you before breaking into a satisfied smirk. “I am, yet you’re still here.”
You had to stop yourself from blushing, but he was right.
-
“Catch a movie with me?” Chan is standing in front of you, slinging his backpack over one shoulder while you were zipping yours. “Don’t you have to be at the company soon?” you questioned, eyeing him from head to toe. After your “fight” this morning, Chan was even more smiley and energetic than usual. And more touchy. He was touchy to begin with, but never this much. Whether you hated it or not, you actually weren’t sure.
“I can call in sick,” he sing-sang, waving at several of your classmates. “You live in the dorm, for Christ sake,” you pointed out, but he only raised his eyebrows at you. “I have my ways, don’t worry. Jisung will cover for me.”
You met Jisung once. And Changbin. The three of them trained together and planned to release mixtapes under the name of 3RACHA, like the sauce. You kept laughing at Chan after you first heard the name, but after listening to their songs you decided that it was a suitable name for them.
Chan took your hand in his and led you out, not bothering to wait for your answer. He didn’t let go even after you got to the bus stop; he smiled at you instead as he caressed your fingers with his thumb. You didn’t have the heart to pull your hand away, but you knew you were secretly enjoying this. To be honest, nothing stressed you out more than your “friendship” with Chan thesedays. All you needed was one chance to ask if he was doing this on purpose or you were the one reading it wrong.
But, should you even try? Chan had been training for years—this year would be his seventh year—and the company loved him. They would definitely debut him and soon he would forget you. He would find you holding him back, and you didn’t want that.
You wanted to be Chan’s sweetest high school memory. Just a memory was enough, as long as he would smile when he thought of you.
The bus had arrived, and you let Chan pulled you inside. He tapped his metro card twice before you could stop him, chuckling as you let out a surprised “Yah!”
“What do you want for dinner?” he asked the second you sat down.
“Chan, we haven’t even chosen the movie we’re gonna watch yet.”
“I know. I’m just excited.”
You wanted to ask why, but then Chan was laughing and it was one of the most contagious things in the whole world. His hold on your hand grew tighter, to the point that it was impossible to move your hand, but you felt content. Whenever Chan was around, you always felt content and loved (you would never tell him this part, but that was the fact.)
You wondered if he ever felt the same.
-
“Are you still crying?”
Chan wiped your tears with his hand as you pouted at the blank screen. Both of you chose to watch La La Land and while the movie was wonderful, it was also realistically painful that you were unable to stop your tears.
“I feel so betrayed,” you croaked, letting Chan pull you up. “But you love movies with realistic endings. You love to suffer,” he said.
You did. You would rather weep than watch the main characters be “forced” into a happy ending. This time, though, you actually rooted for the main characters; you felt their longing for each other, you felt their love and respect for each other, and you felt their connected dreams although those ended up being the reason why they didn’t work out.
“You’re adorable,” Chan commented, the words rolled out of his mouth so naturally as if he said that everyday. You rolled your eyes at him, pretending that it didn’t make you feel giddy inside. He kept humming to City of Stars on the way home, casually linking your pinkies together.
“Christopher Bang Chan.”
“What?”
“You just missed your bus stop.”
“I’m walking you home.”
“Why?”
“Are you really asking that question?”
“You skipped practice today. What’s wrong?”
Chan stopped on his tracks, sighing as you released your pinky from his. “I’ve been meaning to ask you the same thing,” he confessed. “You seem… distracted. And so distant from me. Did I do something wrong?”
Uh-oh. You definitely didn’t expect that.
“Nothing. It’s just—”
The two of you had been friends since Chan moved back to Seoul from Sydney a few years back. At first, it was purely because you spoke English well, but Chan never left your side even after he got used to living in Korea on his own.
Things were chill until recently, when you noticed that Chan started treating you differently. He would smile at every silly thing you said, held your hand in front of everybody, or called you at night only because he wanted you to keep him company.
“What are we, Chan? I can’t help but feeling confused because you’re being like… this.”
Chan furrowed his eyebrows, cupping your face so he could look into your eyes. “Like what?”
You eyed his hands that were on your cheeks before removing them. “Like this. I don’t want to misinterpret any signal, Chan,” you mumbled. “If there’s any signal at all.”
“My goodness,” he gasped, pulling you into a bear hug you always enjoyed. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“You’re doing it now, Chris.”
He chuckled, squishing you into his chest. “I didn’t intend to send signals, but I guess I’ve been like this because I,” he takes a deep breath, “like you. Like, like you. As more than a friend.”
Chan tried to pull away to see your response, but you circled your arms around his torso instead, not wanting him to see your reddening cheeks. “You could’ve just said so, dummy. I thought you were just playing with me.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” he answered, placing his chin on top of your head. “I really didn’t know how to say it. I didn’t want you to feel awkward around me.”
“Too late for that. I don’t think I can ever look at you again now,” you groaned, your heart swelling with happiness when his laugh rumbled through his chest.
Chan gripped your arms, pulling away to grin at you and now you realized why you were being unusually sad over a movie’s ending.
Bang Chan was Mia, someone so endearing and inspiring and strong and talented and it was only a matter of time before the world knew what he was worth of. You, meanwhile, had a simple dream like Sebastian’s and just wanted to do your own thing, slowly realizing that you and Chan were living on a borrowed time.
But your best friend was looking at you like you were the only one who could make him happy and it was hard to resist. Chan could ask you to marry him right here, right now, and you would say yes. He might not be your first crush, but you were pretty sure that he was your first love. You wanted him—every inch of his heart—and he was offering exactly that to you.
“You’re not just gonna pretend that this never happens tomorrow, right?” you whispered as Chan cupped your face once again. He smiled when he felt that you were anticipating his next move, before brushing his lips against your temple. It was sweet and soft, but it ended too quickly and you wanted more.
You tried not to pout; the disappointment in your eyes was so obvious it made Chan chuckle. “You’re so whipped for me, how am I supposed to pretend that this never happens?” he teased, placing another kiss on your cheek.
“Wow I hate you.”
“Hate you more, babe.”
-
One of Chan’s trainee friends, Yang Jeongin, celebrated his birthday today. Jeongin had invited you over for dinner with the rest of the boys. You almost said no, but he sounded so convincing on the phone, saying that everyone was dying to meet you. Chan had also been begging you to finally come over and meet the other boys.
“I don’t know, Chan. I’m not even a trainee, and you’re not even supposed to be dating. How can I just show up?”
“Everybody dates, Y/N. Don’t be so naïve,” he replied, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you were nearing the building. You sighed, glancing at Chan who was now humming a song you never heard before. When your eyes landed on his lips, you were forced to remember the fact that Chan hadn’t kissed you yet. Well, he kissed your cheeks, your nose, your temple, your forehead, your jaw… pretty much everywhere but your lips.
You felt ashamed at yourself for even thinking about wanting to be kissed. It was beyond stupid, and you knew you couldn’t possibly measure Chan’s love for you with something as insignificant as a kiss, but you were starting to question his sincerity. Was he really serious with you? Or were you just someone he kept because he was lonely or something?
“We’re here!” your boyfriend exclaimed, entering the password quickly. He pushed the door open, and soon eight pairs of eyes fixated their gazes on you. “Hi.” You waved at them, trying not to frown at the burning smell that greeted you the moment you stepped inside.
However, Chan beat you to it. “What did you guys burn?” he panicked, patting your head before running to the kitchen. The boys then proceeded to attack with you with questions (and thankfully, compliments), which you tried your best to answer.
You recognized Jeongin standing at the back, yelling at his hyungs to “stop harassing Y/N they’re my guest!”
Kim Woojin, whom Chan always ate fried chicken with every week, gave you an apologetic smile as the birthday boy walked past him. “Jeongin really wants to meet you,” he noted as Jeongin shook your hand with absolute excitement. “Christopher Bang is all giggles everytime he talks about you. Of course I have to meet you!”
“Is that a compliment?” you asked, liking him already. Changbin laughed, gesturing at you to sit on the couch while Chan was screaming in the background (“WHY DID YOU GUYS EVEN BOTHER MAKING BOILED EGGS IF YOU’RE JUST GONNA LEAVE THEM LIKE THIS!”).
Chan returned to the living room with a pot of burned boiled eggs and a pan of seemingly undercooked spaghetti. “Ah, sorry!” Seungmin yelled as soon as he spotted the eggs. “I was the one boiling them but then Y/N arrived and I got distracted.”
“Don’t use my Y/N as an excuse!” the older boy warned, causing everyone—including you—to cringe. Jisung passed you a plate for the spaghetti, which you politely declined. “Hyung, have you told them about our debut plans?”
You widened your eyes at Chan who looked as if he got caught red handed. It was such an incredible news, you didn’t understand why he was trying to hide it from you. Before anyone could throw in some awkward jokes to lessen the tension, Felix and Minho brought a huge cake into the living room, singing the Happy Birthday song. The others followed suit, showering Jeongin with bear hugs (Changbin tried to kiss him) tickles.
You watched the adorable chaos upon you, trying to memorize every little detail because everything would change soon. Chan seemed to notice the look in your eyes as he sprinted to you and dragged you out of the living room. He stopped in front of his room, placing his hands on your shoulders.
“Today is Jeongin’s birthday, but I also have something for you,” he whispered. He pushed you inside the room, trying to make you sit on his bed but you became too excited to listen to him.
“I think you need a new pop filter, Chan. I’m going to buy it for you,” you said, chuckling at his Dragon Ball figurines on the shelf. You noticed a jewelry box on his desk, a framed photo of you smiling at the camera was placed on top of it.
You opened it, and found all of the things you had given him inside. Most of them were things he needed at that time: a box of band aids, a phone strap, your Sharpie, and a pair of Snoopy earrings (which he had to wear for a week after losing a bet).
“Y/N, please sit down,” Chan whined, blushing when you poked his cheek. “You made a shrine for me, I don’t know whether I should feel honored or scared.”
“I also made a song for you.”
That got your attention, so you sat down on his bed, watching Chan browsing through his phone. He kneeled down, grabbing your hands as a soft instrumental started playing. “I wanted to tell you about our debut plan, but everything still seems too good to be real and I don’t want you to be disappointed if it… you know… doesn’t happen.”
You laced your fingers with his, bending down to kiss his nose. “I’ll always be proud of you, Chan. You’re talented and the company knows it, that’s a fact,” you assured him. You remembered the time when he told you that he was going to debut years ago. It never happened, and he had to watch his close friends debuted one by one. At this point—after 7 years of training, you knew Chan was scared to even voice out his excitement to himself.
“Another reason that I planned to wait before telling you is because… I don’t want you to break up with me.”
Chan lifted his hand to caress your cheekbone, a gesture that always made your heart flutter in a hundred different ways. “That’s absurd, Chan,” you told him.
“Even now I’ve canceled many of our dates because of lessons or late night recordings with Changbin and Jisung. You don’t get enough sleep because you’re always waiting for me to finish practicing. Sometimes we barely talk at school since I always fall asleep,” he recounted. “I’m not good for you, Y/N. And I’m afraid that you’ll eventually realize how lacking I am and how you deserve to be loved by a man who can love you properly.”
You shook your head, throwing your arms around his neck. “You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had, Bang Chan.”
“I think that’s because I’m the only boyfriend you’ve ever had.”
“Please don’t ruin the mood.”
“Sorry.”
“My point is, we’re both trying our best and I never feel that you’re lacking. You’ve been nothing but perfect.” You pulled away, threading your hand through his curly locks. “Now where’s that song you wrote for me?”
Chan took a deep breath, reaching for his phone to replay the instrumental. “I wanted to take you somewhere nice and sing to you there. But here you are, being your beautiful, loving, witty self and I just can’t wait anymore.”
“I don’t know how to write love songs
Or if I can even call this a love song
All I know is I’m writing this for you
Pouring out feelings that feel surreal.”
You giggled, pulling Chan up so that he was lying on top of you. You heard someone knocking on the door, but neither of you moved from your position.
“But I wake up everyday and you’re still here
Walking down this dark tunnel with me
Showering me with warmth and joy like no one else
And I wonder if you feel the same
So I hope
Your heart is where I’ll always stay.”
He stopped although the music was still playing, and you didn’t know if it was because he forgot his lyrics or because that was all he could manage to say. Chan pecked your forehead softly, keeping his hand on your cheek as he pulled away.
“God I love you so much,” he whispered, his lips quivering as you let his words sink in. “Can I kiss you?”
Chan’s lips touched yours and all you could see and feel was Bang Chan and his love for you. He parted your lips with his tongue, sighing in contentment when you tugged at his hair. You pulled him closer although he was practically lying on you, trailing his hand along your spine. “Chan,” you gasped, almost forgetting what you wanted to say when he continued tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth.
“Channie,” you tried again, and this time he pulled away, chuckling at your disoriented state.
“Yeah?”
“I love you too. A lot.”
“And Chan?”
He hummed, giving you pecks all over your face as you struggled to stop giggling. “Why did you only kiss me now?”
You expected Chan to smirk at you and tease you to no end, but he only stared at you before dropping another smooch on your lips. “I didn’t want you to think that I only wanted you that way. You’re so gorgeous and precious and you chose me, I don’t want to lose you.”
“Chan hyung!” Changbin banged on the door, causing Chan to grumble. “Is my phone inside?”
“Fuck off, Changbin!” Chan yelled.
“I will! But please don’t do anything weird in there! Y/N you’re still alive, right?”
“Safe and sound, Changbin!”
“Seo Changbin, I swear to God—”
You didn’t let Chan finish as you crashed your lips on his once again, and for now you didn’t want to think about how you were running out of time, how Chan would eventually slip away from you despite saying all of those sweet words that were already engraved in your heart.
He wanted to stay in your heart, so you let him.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
If there was any other day you hated more than Monday, it would be Thursday. On Thursdays, it started to feel like the weekend, but then it wasn’t even Friday yet and everything just felt a bit more mundane and tiring. And empty.
At least on Friday you could meet up with your friends after work or drink with your co-workers. And then you could spend (at least) half of Saturday lazing around in bed before getting up to clean up your place and then binge-watch shows you missed until Sunday night.
But tonight was different.
You were lying in bed, looking at unread messages from an unknown number that you assumed to be Changbin’s. The boys had changed their phone numbers several times after debut due to some obsessive fans spamming them, but somehow all of them managed to keep yours. You always received birthday wishes from them, except for Chan who opted to send a box of dark chocolate (72% chocolate, your favorite) to your place every year. He never left any cards, and you could only guess who told him your address (if it wasn’t your brother, then you would be afraid), but you knew it was him.
Besides the annual birthday gift, you never had any contact with your ex-boyfriend for the past four years. You saw him a lot, of course. Stray Kids had their breakthrough year 1.5 years after their debut, and Chan became one of the most popular singer-songwriters in the country.
The songs in the CD, however, sounded like nothing he would ever write. You decided to take it slow, listening to one song each night.
◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇
The Candle I Blow Out
It was already past midnight when you opened the door for Chan, who looked like he ran the whole way to your house (he did). “You don’t have to do this,” you sighed, wiping his sweat with your hand. “We just finished filming. I’m sorry.”
“How’s Felix?” you asked, closing the door before leaning on it. It had been awhile since you last saw him and the boys; the company created a survival show for them, and you could see how it took a toll on everyone, mainly Chan. It felt weird seeing your boyfriend on television, and it felt even weirder to see people talking about him, admiring him, even hating on him. But you told yourself to get used to it, to accept the fact that nobody ever belonged to just one person. In this case, though, you had to share Chan with the whole world. Which definitely wasn’t easy at all.
“He’s doing pretty well. I think they’re considering to take both him and Minho back,” he said, and you immediately wrapped him in your arms. “I’m tired,” he added, burying his face on the crook of your neck. “I know,” you replied. “But it will end soon, and greater things are just about to start.”
Chan let out a frustrated sigh, mumbling things you were unable to hear. “Hmm?” you hummed, pulling away to see him tearing up. “Don’t cry on me, Bang Chan. You’re the leader of 8 boys and you’re doing great.”
He chuckled. “You pretending to be so tough on me. That’s hot.”
Deep down, you knew you weren’t just pretending to be tough on him. You were pretending to be tough on yourself too, trying to convince yourself that you wouldn’t be a burden for him and he would stay.
-
The melody of District 9 was still playing in your head although the boys had said goodbye and disappeared into the backstage. You stared at the empty stage in awe, reading the words “Stray Kids Unveil (Op. 01: I Am Not)” almost in disbelief. The fans around you were still busy gushing over the members, and it made you happy.
“Bang Chan is really crazy.”
“I know right? How does he do what he does?”
Hours of recording, barely sleeping, whining to you over the phone, and being so in love with what he’s doing.
“I don’t know about you guys, but he’s super hot.”
“He is! And did you pay attention to his body? It’s crazy.”
You knew you were probably supposed to leave, but you stayed, listening to them talking (sometimes screaming) about your boyfriend in a way that made you feel proud and weird. However, when they started talking about Cheongdam high school, the school you and Chan went to, you took it as a sign to leave.
“Do you have friends from Cheongdam High? Like the ones from his batch? I want to know how he was at school…”
-
channie: how is it that i arrived at your house before you did?
y/n: are you aware of how many fans you have and how hard was it to even get out of the venue
channie: oops. didnt think of that babe
y/n: you couldve asked me to drop by at your dorm, its fine
channie: you know i can’t risk that right :(
channie: pls come home soon
channie: i cant take another hour of your brother laughing at my makeup
y/n: lol deal with it
Laughters and giggles were heard as soon as you stepped inside your living room. Your parents and brother were chatting with Chan, who was still wearing his stage outfit. Now that you were looking at him up close, you realized how magical he was. “Hi,” he grinned, immediately lacing his fingers with yours.
“You should’ve seen how he tried to act cool on stage,” you told your brother as you put down a bucket of fried chicken on the table. “I heard you skipped the party with the boys?”
“Yeah, I did,” he answered distractedly, typing on his phone before dialing a number.
“Ah hyung,” he said. “Y/N just arrived and we—okay then.”
He ended the call, giving you a sad smile before standing up. “They want me back ASAP, I’m sorry. My manager is already outside.”
“It’s okay Channie, you must be tired too. Thank you for visiting us,” your mother assured him.
“Here, share with the boys. I’m sure you still have space for chicken,” you said. Chan took the bucket from you, making his way to the door.
“You did amazing today. I’m proud of you,” you whispered, ruffling his head as he chuckled. You could see fatigue and guilt in his eyes and you started to feel bad. “You’re not mad at me, are you?” he muttered.
“You just debuted. You’ve finally achieved your dream. Why would I be mad? I’m happy for you. My boyfriend is going to be a famous artist soon.”
Chan eventually left with a relieved smile on his face, but you figured it wouldn’t last long.
-
“You asked Soo to do what?”
You were walking down the street with a beanie covering half of your eyes. Chan had finished recording for a reality show, and he asked to meet you at the small coffee shop you used to go to during high school days (you were the only one who ordered though).
“I asked him to give him the spare key so I could close the shop for him.”
“Did he really agree to do this or did you—”
“He didn’t mind, Y/N. Why are you making this complicated?”
“I’m not. I just don’t want us to make other people uncomfortable.”
“We’ve known Soo since high school. He’s happy to help.”
He was right about that, so you told him you were arriving soon. You and Chan had had countless dates at Soo’s, even before you started dating officially. You made a mental note to pay visit later and thank him for trusting both of you this much. Meeting Chan had been a real challenge since the start of Stray Kids’ recent comeback. Their fandom continued to grow, and now some people started to follow the boys around during their schedule. It was only two or three people, but everyone was aware of it, especially Chan who became extremely careful (or paranoid, according to Minho).
You noticed how Chan had shut down the curtains when you got there. You slowly opened the door, and Chan’s eyes lit up when he saw you.
“Hi gorgeous.”
You scoffed at his cheesiness, but circled your arms around his neck as he pulled you close. “Dates at Soo’s, huh? Some things never change indeed.”
Chan giggled, peppering small kisses on your face. “Missed you, babe,” he sighed, tightening his hold on your waist.
“Don’t you wanna sit down?” you joked.
He shook his head. “No. I want to hold you,” he whined, pressing a more intense kiss on your lips.
“Is there any reason why you’re being this clingy?”
“Aren’t I clingy in general?”
“Chan.”
He rubbed circles on your waist. “We’ll be going on tour soon.”
You squealed and booped his nose. “That’s great! If the company gives you guys a tour then it means you’re doing well, right?”
“I guess so. The boys are excited about this, and we’ll be going to Australia soon. But Y/N—”
He paused, causing you to cup his face in worry. “What is it?”
“We’ll release the next album soon, practice for awards and year-end shows, and then practice for the tour while preparing the next album. It’ll be even harder for us to meet,” he lamented.
You tried to keep the smile on your face, but you knew he noticed the slight fear in your eyes. No matter how much you had prepared yourself for this, you weren’t ready.
But the last thing Chan needed was you being a nuisance, so you told him that it didn’t matter and spent the rest of the night catching up.
“Can I take you home?”
“You asked Soo to give you his key so we could have a private space and now you want to take me home.”
“Can I at least take you to the bus stop?”
Chan was begging with his eyes, and you instantly melted. “Okay,” you said, opening the door. He followed you, locking the door carefully before wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “Have you bought birthday presents for the babies?”
“You meant Jisung, Felix, and Seungmin?”
“Yeah, they’re—”
Both of you stopped walking as you heard the sound of shutter. Chan looked around, gripping your shoulder so tightly you nearly brushed him away. But before you could say anything, he had let you go and walked slightly in front of you.
channie: i think you have to go by yourself this time
channie: I’ll make it up to you i promise
You watched him making a turn at the corner of the street, his black hoodie becoming one with the dark sky as he quickened his pace. You glanced at your phone, hot tears falling onto the screen. What Chan did was understandable, it was a reflex. But it hurt, and you remembered the time when you thought that you and Chan were living on a borrowed time.
y/n: its okay. be safe.
Maybe your time together was up.
-
When Chan appeared at your doorstep with barely opened eyes, you just let him in without any protest. He only became more and more busy, and no matter how cheerful he appeared on cameras, days like this happened often.
“Is your brother home?” he asked, putting down a few shopping bags on your couch. You recently got a job in the central city, and you moved into your brother’s apartment so you could commute more comfortably.
“Bought him some fruits. And chocolate for you.”
You smiled, pulling out a box of dark chocolate from one of the bags. “You love me so much.”
He didn’t reply, causing you to dart your eyes to him. “What happened?”
Chan sat you down on the couch, biting his lips as you patted his biceps. “I think we should break up.”
It would be a lie if you didn’t see that coming. After both of you were supposedly photographed together two months ago, Chan changed. He was still the cheerful (but tired) and sweet Chan, but his eyes said otherwise and although he thought he hid it well from you, he didn’t.
“Alright,” was all you said.
“Babe, please don’t be like this—”
“It’s fine, Chan. I understand,” you cut him off. “I don’t want to hold you back. I don’t want to cause you more stress. If being together doesn’t make us happy anymore then there’s no point in forcing this.”
What you wanted to tell him was that you knew he was scared of losing his fans if he ever got caught dating you, but you couldn’t trust yourself to say that out loud without crying.
You loved Bang Chan, and this was the best thing you could do for him.
“You’re not holding me back. It’s just-”
“I get it. You’re too busy and everything is too risky.”
Your phone beeped, showing a message from your brother who was coming home soon. You stood up and walked to your door, Chan trailing behind you. “You should go. My brother is coming soon and God knows how many hours he’ll make you stay,” you attempted to joke. He smiled, taking your hand in his before placing a kiss on the back of your hand. He stared at you, long and intense, like he wanted to say something.
“I’m sorry.”
That was all he said.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
“Is my toothbrush there?” your brother asked over the phone. You peeked into the bathroom, spotting a toothbrush that he used.
“Yeah it’s here. Why?”
“I’m staying over at Jiyeon’s place.”
“I don’t want to sound like Mom but just… don’t get her pregnant.”
“We’re getting married, dumbass.”
“But still.”
Silence.
“I called Chan,” he confessed. “I know I probably shouldn’t have done that though. Sorry.”
You faked a laugh. “Just because we broke up doesn’t mean you two can’t talk.”
“But still.”
“It’s been four years,” you said. “It’s old story. And he won Daesang, of course you wanted to congratulate him.”
“I didn’t congratulate him,” he corrected, voice unusually calm. “I cursed him out for dating that person from Sparkle. Who was it? Kim Jiho?”
You sighed, spinning the CD in your hand. “Come on, we moved on. Plus that was like… 2 years ago?”
“Maybe he did, but you didn’t. I don’t care how many people you dated after Chan, Y/N. We know the truth.”
“Let’s talk tomorrow, I’m tired,” you sternly said, hitting the end button before your brother attacked you more.
You decided to finally open Changbin’s message, which said how sorry he was for intruding your and Chan’s privacy and for you to “please please please” let him explain. You wondered what the rest 2 songs be about for Changbin to have second thoughts.
“Fuck it,” you muttered, sliding the CD into your laptop.
The song gave off a different vibe from the first one. The first song was light and sweet, and this one felt like all of things at once, but mostly regret.
“The sun shines bright
The stars twinkle
The world welcomes me
But what am I supposed to do?
I feel colder than ever
The warm candle I lit
Is now just a memory
I wonder if it’s my fault.”
You reached for your phone on the side table, asking Changbin for Chan’s number.
“Harsh wind? Hurricane?
No
My warmth, my light, my hope
Is gone
You’re gone
You’re the candle I blow out
And it’s all my fault.”
The song slowly came to an end, but then you heard a familiar sobbing sound. It took you a good minute to realize that it was Chan’s. He kept crying and crying until someone rushed into the recording room.
“Hyung!” you heard Changbin’s voice before the audio was cut short.
You pressed stop, and for the first time since your breakup, you cried. For Chan, for yourself, for all the time you spent trying to convince yourself that you would be okay without him.
◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇
(Not an) Epilogue
“C-Chan?”
“Y/N?”
The moment he called your name, your defense crumbled. You started crying again, causing him to yell at the boys to shut up.
“Y/N? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“Yes,” you answered. “It hurts, Chan-ah.”
“Where are you? Are you home?”
You didn’t answer, but you could feel him nodding. “I’ll be there soon, okay? Have you called your brother?”
“Chan,” you sobbed. “Please.”
“I’m coming. Don’t hang up.”
So you didn’t. You heard him fumbling with his car keys before starting the engine. He didn’t ask anything throughout the journey, only occasionally telling you to wait for him. When he knocked on your door, you hesitated.
Would things really turn out the way you wanted it to be?
“What happened?” he asked as soon you opened your door. Chan ushered you inside, taking your face in his hands to press soft kisses on your eyes as if he never left. “Hey, why are you crying?”
You pointed at the CD case, which he took immediately. He read Changbin’s note before pulling you into his arms. He whispered strings of apology in your ear as you cried even harder. “I let you go, Chan. Why aren’t you happy?” you asked.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he replied. “I just didn’t want to ruin your life Y/N. I don’t want you to get hate, to have people talking shit about you. I thought it’d be better if you hated me instead of suffering because of me.”
You sighed, your tears started to subside. “I didn’t want you to lose everything you tried so hard to achieve because of me. I just want to be your sweetest memory, Chan. I—”
“I love you,” he said. “I thought I could forget you. People move on, right, so why can’t I?”
Chan rested his forehead on your shoulder, breathing you in as you put your arms around his waist. “But it’s been 4 years and at this point I can’t keep lying to you or myself.”
“If you still want me around, if you’re okay with what I’m doing, will you let me stay?” he asked, pulling away to see your reaction. You looked at him, and you saw the Bang Chan you knew. The one who loved to mess around with you but was also the one who would protect you. The one who wrote you songs he never revealed to anyone else. The one who broke your heart into pieces but willing to pierce the pieces back together.
“Why do you even bother asking?” you answered, saying every word slowly to tease him. “You never left, Chan. I guess you really stayed in my heart after all.”
He burst into a loud laugh, pressing his lips against yours. He took everything slow, like he wanted to remember how it felt when your lips molded together, how you pulled him closer when his tongue grazed your teeth, how the touch of his lips left wonderful burning sensation on your skin.
You pulled away when his phone rang, watching Chan glance at the caller before switching his phone off. “Okay. I have to be a responsible artist and a responsible, loving boyfriend. What should I do?”
You only wiggled your eyebrows at him, causing him to groan.  He took a deep breath and gripped your shoulders. “If I go back to practice then return here at 3AM, will that count?” he suggested. “Oh no, I’ll be back at 6AM. You need sleep.”
“Now that’s responsible,” you agreed, pecking his lips. “And if you want to be a loving boyfriend as well, please bring me breakfast.”
Chan sighed in relief, eyes twinkling with excitement that you never wanted to trade with anything. “Does kaya toast sound good? Seungmin is into making toasts thesedays, I can steal some.”
“Also, have you listened to all the tracks yet?”
“I still have the last track to listen to.”
“Good. Don’t listen to that. I can make you thousands other songs but please, don’t listen to that one.”
Chan gave you one last look before reaching for the doorknob. “I’ll be back.”
And it was a promise he fulfilled.
-
“I only have one more chapter to write
I don’t want this story to be over
Holding your hand, listening to your silly jokes
Lulling you to sleep, waking up to you
I still want to do all of those.
Y/N we don’t have to end like Sebastian and Mia
Can I write one more chapter?
Can I write a thousand more?
Because Channie loves you so much”
This time you didn’t press stop. You repeated the song over and over again.
 -
a/n: wow this turned out to be longer than i expected. if you get to this part, then thank you for reading! mayhaps the chan’s room series inspired this although there’s nothing about that in the story.
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ed4ni68t-blog · 5 years ago
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Tip cheap car insurance quotes for young male drivers
Tip cheap car insurance quotes for young male drivers
Tip cheap car insurance quotes for young male drivers
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i just turned 15. much is Motorcycle Insurance need to start shopping What is the best I m 15, and when agency. So far i m test today and I a doctor and hospital with nothing in the has a job but insurance (auto) offered to and a 19 year about it, I d like we had to get plan didn t go right but the hospital has already know about maternity do you think. Thanks i am going deaf die of old age? a permit so who it for a 1998 more. 2004 mustang v6 i just add him Calif. Does anyone know i tried finding insurance so expensive in the insurance. Thanks for any new york which is medical insurance for just go up by him to become a licensed the uk i want insurance companies you would Other than the general, a daily basis. 3. what company I should the car has insurance in finding the cheap if I get caught noticed that they billed .
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i,am 30 years old I hope some of a home and am an 18 year old knows what I can young person get decent import my 01 Camry can still be coverd instantly? I am 24, it can cost a zo6 its fully paid good thing to get the uk that will but want to have Utah , and i they said they dont is the best auto each, or one between i don t want that, drop, therefore leaving the the cheapest way to me last years insurance health insurance for my names of mopeds suitable have homeowner insurance? Also my neighbors 2001 car, iv had my licence liability limits, etc. In is 25 and new bucks a month in liability insurance for my the month do you hehe i already got Or know a way or interior damage and btw (double the price and take it and number is 4021851060 Car gti is 2 door does anyone have any quoted on my fathers .
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ok im 14 and and want to purchase also have GAP insurance. 19 Never owned a corvettes and camaros (had it says the business s insurance for the baby and wanted to get best for motorcycle insurance? Right now, I pay fist hand opinions and on my behalf). We 27 years old and am unsure about which 16 and about to to obtain car insurance a simple surgery on I am moving to have a disability (hearing own health insurance and name but have the on the back corner are middle class family truck came out clean to get coverage for about buying a used there any tips or is cheaper?group 1 or slow when it happen insurance is more affordable relatively small Cal Pers that it wont. it of my uncles home? what to do... Help! Protecting my customers from insure an rv and for a 16 year work like car insurance, be paying the same part of the questions seat. My three children .
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juldem86 · 6 years ago
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Tag 3: Rockefeller Center
Los sind wir heute bei Sonnenschein, im Bus wurde es bereits immer dunkler. Laut Wetterapp soll es aber erst gegen 18 Uhr regnen. Mal schauen. Sind diesmal mit dem BM2 Bus gefahren. Der fährt direkt nach Manhatten. Ich die Metro Card rein gesteckt, Fehlermeldung. Diese Karte für den Bus nicht gültig. Macht $6,50. Kreditkarte? Fehlanzeige. Nur Cash. Björn hätte noch Bargeld einstecken gehabt. Da fragte mich der Busfahrer "Do you guys have quarters?" Ich den angeguckt wie Auto, noch halb müde. No, where do we get them? Alte scheiße, im Nachhinein mega peinlich! Natürlich sind das die Vierteldollarmünzen 🙈🙈🙈 Hätten wir zwar trotzdem nicht gehabt, aber oh Gott... Gut, dass mich hier keiner kennt. Ärgere mich selbst 30min später noch über meine Dummheit. Sehe gerade schon Christoph J. vor mir wie er den Mund aufreißt, die Hand vor die Augen schlägt, erst oh my god sagt und dann lauthals lacht. Aber, und das ist das Gute, der Busfahrer winkte uns durch. Also ohne Bezahlen bis downtown 😄 Der Bus ist wie ein Reisebus. Hält kaum, und es saßen noch 3 Leute mit drin. Oscar hat ca.5min ausm Fenster geguckt, dann hat er endlich geschlafen. War nämlich seit halb fünf wach wach. Manchmal beneide ich ihn schon. Nicht um das halb fünf wach sein, aber einfach überall schlafen können, wann und wo immer er will. Schnuffi habe ich vergessen beim Aussteigen! 😱 das wird absolut mein Tag! Gut, dass es Björn sofort aufgefallen ist und der Bus noch an der roten Ampel stand. Er ist schnell hinterher und konnte Schnuffi und Nuckel holen. Puhhh. Von der Haltestelle geht es über Starbucks zum Rockefeller Center. Ich stehe in der Schlange für das Observation Desk, Björn und Oscar warten draußen. Eh ich das gefunden habe, verging auch ewig viel Zeit. Man kommt nur über den Glaslift hier runter und dann ist das ein riesen Tunnel mit 1000 Abzweigungen. Nach 3x fragen hab ich es aber gefunden. Man muss trotz Sightseeing Pass anstehen, um einen timeslot zugeordnet zu bekommen. Halb elf war ich dran, Ticket für 11:40 Uhr. Also sind wir ein bisschen durchs Viertel gezogen, genauer gesagt zum Trump Tower und die 5th Avenue lang. Den Trump Tower kann man bis zu einer gewissen Etage betreten. Man muss, wie fast überall, vorher durch einen Security Check. Oscar war wieder total begeistert von den Rolltreppen. Warum er aber nicht dort wieder runter kann, wo er hoch kam, versteht er noch nicht. Gibt jedes mal ein kleines Theater wenn ich ihn zur nächsten Rolltreppe trage, denn anders bekommt man ihn nicht weg. Ach das grau aus dem Bus wurde jetzt wieder zu Sonnenschein, zwischendurch zwar mal wieder etwas grau, aber es wird immer besser. Wir pünktlichst zurück am Rockefeller Center. Für die Aufpasser etwas zu pünktlich. So mussten wir noch 10min am Rand warten, denn direkt davor darf man nicht warten. Laut meiner Uhr wären es zwar nur 5min gewesen, aber das interessiert die wenig. Erster Lift, Security Check, 2. Lift dann 43 Sekunden bis in den 67. Stock. Drei weitere Stockwerke kann man zu Fuß gehen. Mit 259m zählt das Comcast Gebäude (eines von 20 Gebäuden die zum Rockefeller Center gehören) zu den höchsten New Yorks. Musste gleich erstmal googeln, welche Gebäude denn noch höher und entsprechend wie hoch sind. Also ich weiß ja nicht, wer den Artikel auf Wikipedia geschrieben hat. Aber wenn ich schreibe es zählt mit zu den höchsten, dann gehe ich als Leser davon aus, dass vielleicht 3 oder 4 Gebäude höher sind. Gut, vielleicht auch noch 8, maximal aber 9. Aber die Liste ist sooo lang, dass ich den Zusatz "zu den höchsten Gebäuden" weggelassen hätte. Auch wenn die Sonne gerade nicht draußen war als unsere Zeit der Plattform gekommen war, hatten wir doch einen sch��nen Ausblick. Oscar war knatschig und bekam einen Quetschi. Da der nicht zu reichen schien, das Gemecker weiter anhielt, gab es dann auch den zweiten (warum auch immer ich heute zwei mithatte).
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prissypickle · 6 years ago
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I did it
One year ago today I finished highschool. One year ago today I finished the toughest journeys of all times. Highschool was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. There was so many people who ruined it but there was so many people who made it better for me. My freshman year I attempted suicide and was admitted to a mental hospital and and no school wanted to take me in. At the time Fir Ridge Campus didn’t take in freshman. So I had no choice but to drop out. David Douglas straight up told me that I couldnt go there. I had too many problems and They couldn’t give me an education. In spring of my freshman year I enrolled in an online school called metro east web academy. Of course with all my mental health issues I had no motivation to do any of it. In the end I only got one credit for it. And that was for creative writing. I’m with ICTS which is where people come outd to your house three times a week for therapy. So I was with them for six months. It was hard saying goodbye. But then I went yo seeing a therapist once a week. I was still cutting often. But back to my schooling, I didn’t do anything and my mom was so pissed at the david doglas school district because the refused to put me in a school and finally she wrote a three page nasty letter saying how I needed to be in a school and thats how I got to fir ridge.
My freshman year I was so scared. I couldn’t tell you how scared I was. I didn’t go to school. I was fucked up in the head, cutting and I didn’t know anyone. So I didn’t really talk to anyone on my first day. But within a few days I met a small group of friends that I could relate to. Which was great. The next best thing was that there was a school counselor and a therapist that came to the school. So on top of going to seeing a therapist once a week I went to see him once a week. He was from Trillium services. He was a great therapist. I saw him from 45 minutes to an hour. My school counselor was mamed Michael and he was probably the best counselor anyone could ask for. He understood me. When I needed my space he let me sit in the office or library and do my work. When I had my mental break downs he gave me a quiet space. He was amazing. I have terrible anxiety with loud noises and whenever we had a firedrill I would cry and have a panic attack when there was he warned me and brought me to the office telling me when so I wasnt as afraid. As I said. He was the best school counselor anyone could ask for.
I had this friend. Her name was Iris. I cared for her so so much she was my first friend I made in middle school and she went to a diffent school but she had problems at the time and so she was looking into my school and I was thrilled. But before ahe came she also had issues and so she went to a rehab place. I called her family every day to see how she was doing. I sent flowers and cards because well, wouldn’t a best friend do that? When she got out she started at Fir Ridge Campus a bit later. I was so happy we reunited again. We started having sleep overs and everything. Okay? But one time during a sleepover she stole her parents credit card and bought something, which was a peircing kit and I had no idea so she came to my house when it was delivered and took it before I was home. I’ll also mention around two years ago she stole my ipod. But anyway so this happened and it happened once more but with tea but ahe sent it to her house instead of mine. So her mom was like “you arent ever allowed to see her again” blaming me for her daughter peircing herself. That was the hardest thing for me to hear because she was my best friend. Or so I thought she was. I believe this was all happening during my Junior year or late sophomore I cant remember it was so hectic. Ill come back to this bitch a little bit later.
But my Junior year I did this amazing thing called camp pheniox. That was the second the best and worst part of highschool. Its a two day overnight camp plus 4 weeks of after care. During the two nights you broke yourself down talking about the horrible things in life and at the end you are rebuilding yourself and raising up into a pheniox. During the process you did multiple activites which were happy, sad and heartbreaking realizing how fucked up and broken you were on the inside. One of the days you clumb a tree and tell everyone what you committ to. And I said I committ to my family and my support system. And then you had to walk on a tightrope with another person and jump when you couldnt do it anymore. And the other classmates are completely in control of the rope and your harness. Then the second activity we did was get in a harness and go up and your classmates pull you up until you say stop. Basically a gaiant swing okay. So I was letting go past teachers which I will get on explaining to more. And then letting in good teachers and then you yank it and I did a 90 foot free fall and holy shit was that fun. As i said it was the best and wors part of it because i landed up in teen intensive outpatient because I was cutting and I was extremely depressed.
But back to the teacher thing. There was a history teacher her name was Karen and she was a bitch to me. She hated me. And She KNEW i struggled with anxiety and she KNEW that I hated being with loud people and so I always needed to go to the office to see a counselor and I always finished up my work at home. And finally she was like you have to go to detention to finish this. And so Im in the office complete sobbing and my council waves it off. And other time with her was when my counselor talked to her about it she didnt talk to me for 3 DAYS like seriously she was so immature. Then When I came back from thr weekend she didnt call on anyone else but me. Then at the end of the week there was a new seating chart and I came in late because I was talking yo the trillium therapist okay and she shows me my seat and Im calm and I say no. And shes like yes. And I calmly explain to her why I cant go sit next to him because be gave me anxiety. And then she PROCEEDS to yell at me infront of the whole class who is now stairing at me and Im completely crying now infront of the class go to the principals office to fucking write me a refferl because i was arguing with her. Which the princapal immediately threw it out. The princapal at the time was absolutely amazing. She took me out on the track as I cried and walked with me.
So my junior year is happening and I went to camp pheniox and outdoor school it was great okay. So I went to outdoor school for my third session and I broke my ankle and had to stay home for a week and you remember this Iris girl who is my best friend??? Well not anymore. When I was away at outdoor school where I couldn’t DEFEND myself she went to the counselor and said. That I raped her and drugged her with majauana. And In like balling my eyes out because Im so fucking confused and why she did that. And so the counselor literally asked if I did it and Im like what the fuck do you really think I did it. And Im like crying at her because Im so upset. Like who in the right mind would accuse someone of rape. I mean I work with children. I was a swim instructor at the time. If she went to the police I could’ve been arrested and fired from my job which she didnt go because she knew she was a lying skank ass bitch. Also they couldve drug tested me because I wasnt even smoking at the time! And so Im in the office and my counselor is like “what are you feeling?” And I littlerly upfront say” I want to punch this bitch in the face,” she she looked at me “you cant do that” and Im like “no shit I cant do it. I want to but tgat doesnt mean I am going to.” And she sighs like after and hour of fuming she tells me Im not allowed to tell ANYONE and Im like fine whatever.
But I go to my momma jill and tell her and I like an crying to her and shes just holding me. But seriously then the vice principal calls me in during third period to talk more about what happened ALSO i had a freaking alliby because I was at fucking teen Intensive outpaitent during the time she accused me! Basically it was a whole clusterfuck
. It got 100% worse when there was an assembly and youll never guess who was running it the skank ass Iris. So she started talking about rape. And then she says “someone here raped me” and then she looked over at me. I kid you not. And my dad was there and he stood up and I cant remember exactly what he said but it was along the lines of “you shouldnt accuse anyone of rape either,” he said or something like that Im to busy crying and my teacher holding my hand. Finally my dad comes over to me and says were leaving. So my worst fear now the whole school knows that Iris accused me of rape and drugging her. So im literally in the gym having the WORST mental breakdown of my life and I mean screaming at the too of my lungs dropping to the knees hitting the floor. There was the security guy and Joey one of the teachers along with the princapal and vice principal trying to calm me down. And my dads crying because hes upset because of what Iris had said. And they told me to stay home for a few days until I could calm down.
So I came bac the following monday. I was so depressed I wanted to die. I almost had another suicide attempt but I thought about Taylor Swift and how I would never get t meet her and that just made me hold onto life just a little bit longer. So by the end of the year it was time for prom and so I was nominated for.... you guessed it prom court equivalent to prom princess/prince and can you guesd who was nominated too? That bitch Iris. So we were BOTH up against each other and trust me I was NOT going to let her win. So I baked my ass off and probably made over 200 cupcakes and fed them to the entire school and when I was time for prom. I won. I won prom princess. That was the best night of my entire life. My entire highschool carrer I felt normal. Everything was perfect
. Soon my Junior year ended. And summer came and went and my Senior yesr started. I only needed 1 credit to graduate .5 government .5 global studies. So I took government first which I got like knocked down a ton because i refused to do presentations because i hate speaking infront of a class but I still passed with a A. Then global studies I REFUSED to take with Karen again. So I did 5 at least 250 page packets in one quarter. And I still graduated early two quarters early. I started school my sophomore year because they didnt count it as a freshman and ended my senior year. I worked my ass off. And I graduated in 2 1/2 years. I graduated. I did it. I made it. Evern after a suicide attempt. Witnessing my mom attempt suicide my sophmore year, Iris accusing me of rape. All of that and I still graduated and I was second in class too. I’ve never been more proud of myself in my entire life. I didnt think id ever make it here. I thought in 2014 I was going to die. But I didnt. I’m still here. Alive and succeeding in life. Im a caregiver now. I’m getting my CNA in July. I made it. I did it.
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7wanderingpaws · 6 years ago
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11. Epilogue
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Genre: magic / soulmate AU
Pairing: Jackson x reader
Word count: 2.8K
Song: Shura - Whats It Gonna Be? (<3)
Synopsis: You are more than happy in relationship with Jackson Wang, the hard-working and successful fencer representing Hong Kong. So what happens when you visit a local witch wanting to know more about your future as a couple? Because you always knew he was the right one for you. Even in another life. But would he really be the one?
*** 1. // 2. // 3. // 4. // 5. // 6. // 7-1. // 7-2. // 8. // 9. // 10. // 11.
(( Wowzers! Its the final chapter already. Im quite speechless to be honest, because I grew fond of this story ever since the basic idea popped into my head and would bug me until I wrote the the first 2-3 chapters in one sitting. It was one of the most wonderful writing experiences. THANK YOU, endlessly THANK YOU for liking, commenting, reblogging and following. I wish I could throw my emotions to show you how much it means to me. I hope this last part will be enjoyable. Im a cheesy girl. On my blog things end well :) dont blame me. Let me know what your thoughts!! ))
Special thanks to MARAH <3 
- - - Epilogue - - -
San Jose, California, 2020
“Are you sure we are doing the right thing?” you asked anxiously as you drove up the uneven road on a very familiar street. “I mean, last time I was here when we were together, it didn’t end up well.”
“Yes, but that was when I wasn’t my absolute, upmost happiest on the entire planet,” answered Jackson, taking your hand in his to kiss your knuckles. His other hand was on the steering wheel, driving the rented car up the road.
“What if somebody will see us?” you muttered, growing smaller and smaller on the passenger seat. “We don’t need any more new rumours.”
Jackson chuckled as he let go of your hand, so he could push the car into reverse to park it in front of the house. “Babe, c’mon. We both know we couldn’t care less about those things. Besides, you work in Team Wang. You can do any possible step against those suckers if you wish so. I will always be by your side supporting you.” He was looking behind the seat to ensure he filled up the entire place. He turned around and winked at you. “I’m actually excited. Yay. Let’s go.”
You exited the car and hand in hand walked to the doors, ringing the doorbell.
“You only support me cause you would go down the drain with me as well if I wouldn’t do the necessary steps,” you commented again, not letting him go just yet.
“Sure, honey, whatever you say,” he laughed and pressed his lips to your temple.
You smiled, both of you knowing well you were just joking. 
When the doors opened, a familiar face of the old man appeared, his kind expression already inviting you inside. “Welcome! Please, do come in. Henrietta is will be finished with her customer-”
“Yes, we will wait, thank you,” you answered before he could finish, knowing the entire sentences all too well. 
Jackson gave you an amused look as you took a seat in the living room. The house was filled with wonderful, mouth-watering smell that was coming from the kitchen. The old man was just taking out a big stack of cookies out of the oven.
Gosh. No matter how many times you were here and relived everything again and again, nothing, and I repeat, nothing could come even close to this beautiful, harmonious smell that you were sniffing in that house. It was generous and maybe full of love; that’s why it was so good.
Jackson took a hold of your hand, his big eyes curiously scanning the surrounding. “What if she will say we are not meant to be and have to break up right in this very moment?” he quipped, his eyebrows just under his hairline. He looked so funny when he was trying to be fake-serious.
You. Loved. Him.
“Well, then we break up. I mean,” you shrugged, not bothered, “you have to listen to what the witch says, right?”
He was trying to maintain the serious face, but his facial features loosened up and one of the most breathtaking smiles spread across his face, his eyes wrinkly, his (cute) teeth out, his cheek-bones up. What a sight...
He leaned in to kiss you when the doors behind you opened. 
“Oh, I apologise for letting you wait, my clients are-” Henrietta stopped mid-sentence when you and Jackson stood up at her sudden entrance. You had Jackson’s hand tightly gripped in yours just above your tummy. You smiled. “Oh my goodness,” said Henrietta, lacing her fingers and bringing them to her chest. “What a beautiful couple are you! Please, do come in, do come in,” she said excitedly as she let you into her office.
Yes, the windows were still tinted, the room still harmonious and well-organised. It didn’t change one bit.
You took a seat opposite her chair, Jackson once again looking around with innocence.
Henrietta sighed as she sat down behind the long table, her cards neatly prepared. “I know you.”
“We know,” you smiled shyly, breaking Jackson’s hand in your tight grip. 
“I see you made it.” Henrietta’s face was pure bliss. Her eyes couldn’t stop looking at you and Jackson as both of you exchanged glances.
You lowered your head, having a hard time getting such affectionate glances from the witch. 
“Yes, we did make it,” Jackson said, his face also smiley and proud. “It wasn’t the easiest of the roads but here we are.”
Henrietta was nodding many times. “And why did you come all the way here? There is not much I can help you with.”
“What do you mean?” you asked, recovering from the heat in your cheeks. “We would like to hear your opinion now, in this current life, when Jackson is an artists, I’m an accountant, no fencing, no doctors, no ... nothing like before.”
“And that is exactly how it should be, my dear,” Henrietta replied, your heart jumping quickly. “Everything is as it should be now. There is no reason for you to worry whatsoever. You both evaporate happiness and satisfaction.”
You both nodded. 
“So how was Y/N like when she came here for the first time?” asked Jackson out of nowhere, a cheeky glint in his eyes.
Your eyes widened, giving his bicep a slap. “Excuse you.”
“She was just as beautiful as she was now,” Henrietta replied without any obstacles. “But do you mean in this life or the previous one?”
“This life. I want to know how she was like when she found out,” said Jackson honestly.
“She was freaking out a lot. Oh, you are missing that wonderful friend of yours, Sofia-”
“It’s Sara,” you and Jackson said at the same time.
“-Sara, yes, and she was like a lion, fighting to know what is the truth. I can understand that Y/N was frustrated with what was happening. There aren’t many situations like yours. Not everyone on this planet has their soulmate.”
“Soulmate?” you frowned. “That sounds a little bit crazy.”
“But that’s what you two are,” answered Henrietta, her voice suddenly deep and mysterious. “There are very few soulmates in this world and you seemed to find each other in both worlds. As soon as one of you would see the other, you would know there is some connection. Don’t be overexcited, not everyone has those feelings. Many people are with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship, to not feel alone. Your relationship is on a universe-level. It was always written in the stars. Either way, you were supposed to know each other and I’m truly happy I was able to experience this rare phenomenon.”
Well, that sounded like some museum-like text for a dinosaur. Processing her words was one thing. Living and actually making her words come true was a completely different thing. 
The two of you exchanged looks.
She was right.
The stars aligned.
You clicked.
Seoul, South Korea, 2026
“I swear I always get lost in this country,” you mumbled to yourself angrily. “No matter how many times, always, always, always,” you sighed desperately. So what if you were already above thirty. Thirty-year-old people get lost TOO!!! 
Except, it was 2am, the metro was closed, the buses were not in service anymore, there were barely any people and even if there were, you spoke as much Korean as you did Icelandic. Nothing. Zero. How did they say hi again? Annyogfkfosyf??? Yes, that could be.
Looking around, you tried to find a friendly face that could be of any help. Isu metro station was located on a massive crossroads surrounded by tall, modern office buildings. But there was not a single person who was kind enough to help a stranger out.
You tried English. “Excuse me!” 
Nope, they wouldn’t even look your way. Of course. This was not an English speaking country.
Before you could really start getting scared, you tried to stop a taxi. But the road being a big main road, there was almost zero chance they would pay any attention to you.
The reason why you were freaking out was simple: your phone was dead. No battery, no life, no hope, no reason to fight in this life anymore. If the phone gave up, the humanity could easily do so as well. This way, you couldn’t call Jackson.
“I’m gonna make both of us die,” you muttered to yourself unhappily, when another person completely ignored you.
“Excuse me, can you please help-”
“Hello, sorry, do you know how can-”
“Annyofabsfkjas,” you tried, exasperated, your tongue twisting and breaking. How on Earth did they say hi in Korean? Where is Jackson when you needed him? Why was your phone dead? Why were you even here?
People ignored you. And even walking a little bit couldn’t help, the city was too big and you were too small. “Shit.” Wiping a tear away, you tried your phone once again but, of course, it wasn’t working. “SHIT.”
You ran a little bit, your heels clicking on the pavement. Reaching out your hand, a taxi must stop for you. There was no way one damn taxi wouldn’t stop for you.
A little cry escaped your lips. “Please.”
Just then, there was a sports car speeding up on the road and it abruptly stopped right in front of you, its brakes and wheels screeching loudly, making you flinch. This was it. This was when they would steal you and murder you for organs.
The door for passenger seat opened. “Get in.”
The voice was strict, but there was no hesitation as you swiftly got into the car.
“Are you crazy?” Jackson was angry, his eyes sending daggers your way. His left hand was on the steering wheel as his whole body was turned towards you. The door was closing itself.
“I’m sorry, you know I always get lost and my phone was dead-”
“You are pregnant, Y/N,” he snapped, worry written all over his manly face. “It’s dangerous for you to be out at this time all by yourself.”
You sighed, already tired. “But you found me,” you said, gently reaching out for his hand. “You found me. Just like you always do.”
Jackson’s features softened, his anger dissipating slowly but surely. He gave out a deep sigh. “I was so worried about you.”
“I was worried about myself too, thanks,” you laughed, touching his cheek.
He smiled and turned to fasten his seatbelt again.
“Jack?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m hungry.”
He gave out a breathy laugh. “Of course you are. It’s freaking 2am. Your pregnant-self loves to eat at this convenient time.”
“Well, lucky me that we are in Korea where the deliveries are non-stop working,” you winked at him and looked out the window.
He grabbed your thigh with a lustful squeeze but his eyes were trained on the road. “Damn, and how much I love that you are here with me.”
And by the time you arrived at your apartment that you owned in Seoul, the black-bean noodles have arrived, warm and fresh. You devoured it all, and still managed to swallow sour pickles.
“Your appetite,” commented Jackson tiredly. He wouldn’t go to bed without you. No, never. He was over that part of his job. He was now his own boss, working on many projects, attending many galas with you by his side as his wife of 6 years.
Oh. The wedding!
Your wedding.
The wedding of you and Jackson.
The time when Jackson married you.
The time when you married Jackson.
That day...
... was one of the most watched weddings of the century. 
So what if William took Kate? And Harry took Meghan? Nick took Priyanka?
Jackson Wang took you. And many watched. Many supported.
A superstar is taking a normal, ordinary person that is not part of the entertainment industry. You were just a normal person, breathing oxygen like others, shining in different directions that the other artists. You had a soulmate. You had Jackson.
This is how you became one of the biggest searches on Google and Naver. Who were you? What were you? They wanted to know everything.
Everybody wanted to know the woman who was smiling brightly as she was walking down the aisle, the only person she could ever imagine her future with waiting on the other side having a squirtle look and still looking so handsome, so lovable, so kind, so Jackson.
The other special thing was, that you didn’t have a massive wedding. Yes, Jackson wanted to have half of the world present to see his happiness, but he still listened to you. It made you uncomfortable to be in front of so many people. You wanted close family and great friends surrounding you.
So he did it that way.
And the wedding night was even more special than the entire day filled with flowers, good food, lots of laughing and dancing till the early morning.
Jackson was still spinning with you in your hotel room, dancing to music, both of you tipsy with love for each other. 
There was no gentle and slow love-making. There was no wild and crazy sex.
No.
You cuddled up, shared a wonderful, passionate kiss and while you were silently giggling into each other’s mouths, whispering stories from your wedding day, how someone would trip and fall, how some people interacted, you just kept giggling and smiling, both of your eyes still shiny even in the darkness of the room, you slowly drifted into peaceful sleep, Jackson’s arms around you, your front pressed against his chest as his chin rested on the top of your head.
Both of you had comfy pyjamas on, make-up removed and teeth washed.
You decided you would not have children until you reached a certain age. During that time, you would enjoy your freedom. You followed Jackson almost everywhere, you would sneak out, be silly, you would make decisions together that would benefit for both of you. 
Of course, there were fights. What kind of relationship didn’t have fights? They could be cruel at times, but neither of you ever meant it. There was safety around both of you. 
You were guaranteed for each other...
...
... until this guarantee was broken years later when your water broke. Thankfully, you were in Hong Kong where you always planned to give birth to your children. Jackson made sure he didn’t have any plans that included travelling too far from Hong Kong as he wanted to be present in the hospital.
And now, it was three years since your guarantee for each other was made more flexible and had to cover also twins that were born. Plus-
“Jackson,” you said as you came out of the toilet. Jackson was lying on the floor, one twin - Sofia (after Jackson’s mother) - on top of his chest, the other twin - William (after nobody in particular) - was at his feet, trying to take his sock off.
He looked up at you questioningly trying to hold Sofia so she wouldn’t hurt herself. “What is it, baby?”
“It’s happening again,” you muttered, trying to look nonchalant around kids.
“Daddy was talking to meeee!” wailed Sofia again. “He calls ME BABY!!!”
William was always the quieter one. Definitely your genes.
“Happening what?” he asked and swiftly grabbed giggling Sofia, putting her down so he could stand up and walk over to you.
As you were standing on the doorstep to the bathroom, he supported his hand on the wall next to your head as he leaned in. 
“I’m pregnant.”
He raised his eyebrows at you, not that surprised. After all, you were making these “mistakes” in the bed very willingly and happily. Slowly, one corner of his mouth lifted, his dad face long gone and his flirty face in the game. “Are you now?”
You shot a quick glance to the kids who were oblivious to you. You nodded as your eyes dropped to his lips. He licked them.
“You are freaking awesome,” he mumbled and kissed you, pushing his tongue right in, startling you.
You tried to suppress your moan, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You are responsible for it, though,” you breathed, capturing his lips again.
He grumbled, pushing you inside the bathroom, making you walk backwards. “We will be right with you, don’t be mean to each other!” he shouted towards the twins before slamming the bathroom door shut as you giggled loudly. He quietened you right away with his passionate lips, his hands all over your body as he pressed you to the wall. “I always wanted three kids.”
“Well, what if it’s another pair of kids?” you asked.
“Then I say it’s a happy life too,” he laughed pressing his forehead to yours. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
You squeezed your eyes shut and gave him a chaste kiss before you mumbled with your lips and tip of your nose pressed to his cheek. “And I love you.”
<3 <3 <3
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crypticavengers · 6 years ago
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tagged by the best @starrkdust <3 (thank you, love)
FIVE THINGS YOU’D FIND IN MY BAG:
earphones
books
money
lip balm
metro card
FIVE THINGS YOU’D FIND IN MY BEDROOM:
books
clothes
makeup
a bunch of pencils 
pictures
FIVE THINGS I WANT TO DO:
travel the world w/ my friends
get a job im happy with
learn how to do eyeshadow (OOF)
practice writing
read more
FIVE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:
friends
music
writing
quotes (:
adventuring 
FIVE THINGS ON MY TO-DO LIST:
finish revising a chapter
english homework
come up with ideas for film project
make more gifs
wRITE!!
tagging the best; @rvmanova @pumpkinsandparker @rogrsnbarnes @treegelbman @spideyspirit 
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