#and ill accept that - but the alternative that the op puts forward is heartbreaking and i also see it this way too!!!! really great reading

[tonydaddingham]

I mean this in a gen way, but saying Crowley avoids responsibility feels incredibly unfair, bc as far as I can recall, of the two he's actually the only one who has ever apologized for anything?

hi anon!!!✨ more than happy to explain (as best i can, anyway) where im coming from on this!!!✨

so to my recollection, crowley has essentially said he's sorry twice in show canon; s1, when he tries again to get aziraphale to leg it with him, and s2, with the dance. however, imo, i think it's questionable as to how much he means either of these.

s1 apology to me is worded in such a way that, at worst crowley is purposefully inauthentic in his apology, and at best, just simply doesn't know what he's apologising for - but in both cases just wants to get aziraphale on side so they can escape the apocalypse by fleeing to alpha centauri:

the key part here for me is, "whatever i said, i didn't mean it...", because to me that feels an awful lot along the lines of 'im sorry you feel that way', rather than accepting responsibility that what one may have said may have caused the upset.

now look, i realise crowley is under a lot of pressure in this scene - he's come straight from being directly threatened by hastur, and that makes the rushed, poorly worded apology understandable - but id personally argue that, regardless, it's not a genuine apology. the argument itself isn't brought up again, it isn't discussed, and it isn't resolved. (once again, the plot doesn't really allow for a heart-to-heart to occur, but i doubt it was ever addressed in the interim between s1 and s2. that being said, i can only go based on what we're actually shown, as opposed to any supposition of what did or did not happen/was or was not discussed in the missing four years!)

as for the apology dance; i think it's fair to summarise that crowley walks off, out of the bookshop, believing that he's fully in the right. he might later regret how the whole argument went down, but with the context of gabriel's words from s1 in mind, it's fair that crowley would consider that he doesn't have anything to apologise for. arguably, neither of them have anything to apologise for (from aziraphale's perspective, he's also in the right - essentially, the argument isn't as black and white as that!), but when crowley then learns of the BOL threat, it's then that he comes back to the bookshop.

again, look - im perfectly prepared to accept this entire exchange, the wording within it, as one big shared idiosyncrasy, and one that works for them. but there's a couple of things that make this not quite ring true to me.

the way crowley says the first line, offering an apology, suggests that if he were to say sorry, he wouldn't mean it. says it in a way that's very guarded, but also seems snooty and lofty, like he's above the act - and that it would be a reluctantly-given gesture

when aziraphale states that that's in fact what he wants, an apology, crowley doesn't actually say sorry. he admits that aziraphale was right - but that doesn't take accountability for his part in the spat, and even then he says it again like it pains him to say the words

there was a marvellous meta (by @esthermitchell-author!!!) that summed it up, that i'll link back when i get my hands on it, but the way that aziraphale says 'with the little dance' suggest that the dance is additional to an actual apology, that they're not one and the same. now, i personally see the dance's meaning a little differently - maybe? - that the dance is the thing to break the tension (ridiculous concept altogether but that's another post). in that context, crowley only does the dance, not the apology. that being said, aziraphale seems to accept the dance as the apology, so maybe that's that and nothing more to be said

ive said it before, but the way aziraphale rattles off the years where he's done it, and crowley immediately says that he 'doesnt do the dance', suggest to me - and pure speculation here, admittedly - that aziraphale has historically been the one to always apologise. we could see this as aziraphale having always been the one that's in the wrong... but i somehow doubt that to be the case. instead, it seems to be that aziraphale is pissed that he's always been the one to bend, to apologise, to keep the peace, to break the tension, and this time crowley can 'bloody well do it'. the way aziraphale performatively straightens his clothes and cocks his head suggests that crowley doing the dance is a novelty, and he's going to savour it... but i digress-

all of this to me feels that crowley, again, is dancing around accepting any accountability or responsibility for his part in the argument, and therefore the apology - if we conclude that aziraphale does accept the dance itself as an apology - isn't completely meant. take into account the context of why crowley flies back to the bookshop, it can also be seen that crowley will do whatever he needs to ensure that he can help aziraphale shelter/hide gabriel, and therefore protect aziraphale in the process; a means to an end, essentially.

(now of course anon, if there is an apology ive missed or something i haven't taken into account, please come back to me - these are just the two instances that i can recall off the top of my head, and my personal interpretation of them!!! but im always open to thinking about things differently).

there are also other instances where he's... rather poor at accepting his own accountability, but tbh it's LWA that's analysed and summarised this better than i ever could, so definitely worth having a root around in those asks too, for some extra reading!!! (link in my masterpost)✨