#and ik ive joked about quitting after i finish the misfit dreamers series but :’))) ik i could never actually leave tumblr
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#sometimes i get so discouraged after posting a fic LOL im not the only writer on here like that right??#i feel like i cant draw in readers anymore or no one wants to read#and ik im ALWAYS complaining about this but like??#esp with how much longer my fics are getting and more effort foes into it and more complex?#like i cant help but lament the fact that my smuts can get 400+ notes in two days when theyre <5k and then a 12k fic can barely hit 200??#when i tried to much harder and actually THOUGHT out a plot and tried to make it realistic and different?#its hard to stay motivated!!!#and ik ive joked about quitting after i finish the misfit dreamers series but :’))) ik i could never actually leave tumblr#but god am i getting so anxious about writing on here anymore which is so DEVASTATING since i love writing and sharing and fanfics but ig i#didnt realize how much feedbakc affects me bow#wtv ive been lowkey trying ti distance myself from my blog after i posted bc i was afraid/knew the reaction wouldnt ve good#sometimes my blog/side of (nct) tumblr feels dead but what can you do!!! :)#and i think whats killing me too is that i feel like an ‘old’ nct writing blog. like im old news and no one cares to check my blog out anymo#re. like im forgotten and replaced and??? that is such a terrible sinking feeling. maybe its the thought of bding replaced thats making me s#o upset#im deleting this soon bc i hate complaining/sounding pitiful so sorry if you had to read this <3 ty for caring lovely!!#rant#delete later
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