#and if your response to something as tiny as a liked tweet - from One member of the crew who is not the creator - is to totally scrap cano

[faelapis]

i'm so glad ian jq confirmed that the diamonds aren't redeemed and haven't changed at all, i'm so tired of your takes and its good to see that canon is actually behind me. they're bad and not redeemed. steven was manipulating them and theyre never gonna get better :)

right, i forgot liking a tweet, which people do from a myriad of reasons - from an ex-crew member who did not work on (most of) s5 - outweighs everything said,  done, and expressed by the creator and synthesis of the crew as a whole.

i guess it also outweighs the show itself, which is so far-removed from steven “manipulating” them that it’s almost farcical. steven is completely upfront with them - he tells them he’s not pink, and he wants them to help the corrupted gems. which the diamonds do, for plenty of reasons. it’s not just because they want to hang out with ‘pink’. white wasn’t even there for that suggestion.

if you know how to read tone and body language, you could tell that’s not something steven said to be sly. that’s something he earnestly felt in the moment. it’s hard to manipulate people after you’ve already said you want their help, they already agreed, and you didn’t suggest hanging out until way later.

like… the show is subtle at times, yes. but it’s not impossible to tell whether someone’s lying or expressing their genuine feelings.

but yeah, sure. let’s throw all of that out the window, because youtube and tumblr are persistently horny to be validated to say Diamonds Bad / SU doesn’t Actually forgive. thank you for showing me the light. i am forever grateful /s.

i guess because of this, we’ve also gotta take every piece of ship art from every crew member as Forever Canon, even if RS hasn’t expressed approval, and none of those sentiments have actually made it into the show. anything a crew member *likes* is now canon. so i guess lapidot, amedot and pearlmethyst are all canon, that’s gonna delight and irritate a lot of people. oh and lapis has also been getting it on with jasper in secret, that’s Really gonna upset people, but there’s nothing we can do about it! someone clicked ‘like’, so i guess that must reflect the Crew Consensus of Canon!

i guess the only “real” problem is, that’s gonna make this “diamonds bad” take really contradictory in a world where this also exists:

so, uh… have fun figuring that one out.

this is a matter of interpretation, but if you really think every tweet liked by one of the crew’s members is canon, rather than canon being created by both the synthesis of crew discussion & the final word belonging to rebecca sugar, then… maybe consider that you’re cherrypicking. also, it could be a distinction between being “in the process” of evolving vs having “already” evolved. or just not thought through, because again, it’s just liking a tweet. defending a thing you used to work on. which is Very easy to do.

one thing i do know is, i highly doubt it was saying the diamonds are irredeemable. or that SU is less forgiving than you think. there’s a mild distinction in the tweet even i agree with, which is between “steven also had his own reasons” vs “steven did it Only because he wanted to be their friend” - the latter of which is false. he wanted to heal corrupted gems.

but that doesn’t mean the diamonds aren’t evolving. they are.

steven literally acknowledges that himself - “you guys have really gotten better at showing affection” is textual confirmation that they have changed. they can be imperfect and still make an effort to become better people.

“change your mind” was called that for a reason. much like spinel, white diamond internally realizes she was wrong, and works to change. that’s reinforced by the newly released “the tale of steven” book by rebecca sugar, aka the person who ian himself has said is the true arbiter of canon.

like. it’s very “for the kids at home”, so… here’s white, indeed realizing she was wrong, and spelling it out for you:

at their lowest point, steven always tries to be compassionate towards the diamonds. he doesn’t leave anyone in despair after their “was i wrong all along?” realization. he offers them hope, empathy and cooperation.

in that scenario, i really don’t care whether or not you wanna strictly define that as “redemption”. some people use that term way stricter than others. what i care about is whether the characters are given A) hope, B) change, and C) a happier ending than is traditional for a ‘villain’.

whether or not you think they’re fully redeemed or just trying to change… to me, that’s a distinction without a thematic difference. the overarching story remains the same - the diamonds are going to be fine. they’re trying to be better, and their current actions are having positive effects. that’s good.

in the movie, steven leaves homeworld because he wants to live peacefully after saving the galaxy. he was being smothered by the other diamonds, yes, but he’s didn’t go cuz he was secretly punking them the whole time. & he’s the one who needs to learn he’s not entitled to a “happily ever after”. he can’t leave anyone behind. steven has to keep trying every day, to help as many people as possible. everything will keep changing, including people around him.

so… in that spirit, if the diamonds aren’t fully redeemed, then neither are anyone. you gotta keep growing to be your best self.

matt burnett - one of the head writers throughout all five seasons, and whose words have been reflected both by the show and by RS herself - said it best: there are no strict heroes or villains in this show. everyone are much more complicated than that.

[kenkamishiro]

20210218 Jack Jeanne Creator Interview with Famitsu - Interview #1 with Ishida Sui

The Jack Jeanne staff (Ishida Sui, Towada Shin, Kosemura Akira, Seishiro) were interviewed by Famitsu, a Japanese gaming magazine for Jack Jeanne’s release. Someone was kind enough to let me read it, so I’ll be translating the 4 interviews. The interview with Ishida I’ll do a full TL, and the other three I may do more of a summary since I’ve been busy lately.

Ishida Sui

Creator / Character Designer / Script Supervisor

Mangaka. From Fukuoka Prefecture. Creator of “Tokyo Ghoul” and “Tokyo Ghoul:re.” 2021 marks his 10th anniversary in the art industry.

Characters that were created based on the idea of “personifying plays”

Please share with us how you honestly felt when you received the commission request for this work.

That it seemed kind of questionable but interesting nonetheless. “If others can do it, I can too,” I thought.

How did fans react after Jack Jeanne was announced?

I still get letters from the readers of Tokyo Ghoul to this day, but some of them would bring up Jack Jeanne, or mention that they like a character and are interested in them even before the game’s release, so it makes me happy seeing that reception.

Please share with us your thoughts about being in charge of the character design.

It was a good learning experience because it was something I’d never done while working on my manga, trying to finalize the 6-member cast of the protagonist and the main characters, and then completely focusing on them as an elite squad. I tend to make too many characters, so...

When coming up with a character, how do you develop their image?

Previously, I decided it based on the character’s name and face. But with Jack Jeanne, it was a trial-and-error process. At first, I envisioned each character as a personification of a play - for example, Fumi was modelled off of “Salome”, Yonaga off of “Shintokumaru”, Shirota from one of Yamamoto Shūgorō’s works... I dropped the idea after that...and that’s how they were developed. They were created in a peculiar way this time.

Which character did you have the easiest time drawing, and on the flipside, which character did you find yourself struggling to draw?

Kai was the very first character I created, followed by Fumi. Those two I was able to draw relatively quickly. I wouldn’t really call this a struggle, but Suzu, the one with the red hair, wasn’t part of the main cast of six at first. Ootori, the blond character with the prickly personality, was actually part of the main cast at first, but since I wanted a simple-minded character, Suzu ended up being promoted.

I’m sure you consider every character your favourite, but if you had to pick only one character, who would it be?

Probably the main character Kisa. She embodies everything I think of in a shoujo manga protagonist, and I’m very fond of her. But I really do love all the characters. They each have their own appeal, so I can’t settle on just one.

Was there anything you had to constantly keep in mind when designing the characters for Jack Jeanne?

Broccoli specially requested that I give every character a strong colour palette. It’s because if I’m left to my vices, I end up using only subdued tones...I also constantly kept in my mind that I was making them look good-looking as boys.

You were also responsible for the event illustrations in the game. Could you give more details about them, and any difficulties that you faced?

For the event illustrations, I had to be aware of what scene would best match the script. Towada-san also specified where the illustrations should be inserted, but if there was a better scene before or after it, I gave priority to it instead. The hardest part...was drawing them all by myself. There ended up being more than 160 illustrations.

I heard it was you who requested Touyama Maki to design the chibi characters. Please share with us the appeal of the chibi characters drawn by Touyama-san, as well as your thoughts when you saw the chibi characters in the game.

Touyama-san’s appeal...is that their art is great! The deformed characters are perfectly balanced and outstandingly stable. I’m also a fan of their art and I like their life-proportion-size characters. It’s really cute seeing them move their tiny limbs around on the game screen.

Despite his humble abilities as an amateur lyricist, he oversaw every song with a burning passion that was second to none.

You supervised the game and the script, but what was the most memorable part of working on this game for you?

For starters, I vividly recall talking with Towada-san all the time. It was common for us to spend 10 hours a day talking to one another, several times a week.

How did production handled between the two of you for the script proceed?

I come up with the general outline. I’d talk about the overall flow and the key developments during the meetings, and Towada-san would take that and organize it, adding descriptions and colour to the details. It would have been impossible to create Jack Jeanne without her.

You wrote the lyrics to all the songs, including the opening song “Jack & Jeanne Of Quartz.” Please share with us how you came to be in charge of the lyrics.

Originally, there were several candidates, and there was even one person that I thought, “This person might be the one.” But I realized that it would take an enormous amount of time to share the understanding of my work to them, so I decided to give it a try, thinking that even an amateur would be the best for the job as long as they were passionate.

How did you come up with the lyrics?

I’m embarrassed to say this since I’m a complete amateur, but I tried my best to associate it with the feelings and information related to the subject, and whether it sounded good when sung...at any rate, I did my absolute best.

Are there any verses in the lyrics that you’d like people to pay special attention to, or any phrases that you really liked?

Avu-chan from Ziyoou-vachi (a 4-member rock band) is a friend of mine, but when I met up with her, I had her look at the lyrics, and the part she liked I also ended up liking. It’s the phrase “charcoal night grey” in the opening song. I also like the last two lines of the ending song because they represent the entirety of the game.

What was the most memorable interaction you had with the composer Kosemura-san?

He was professional in that every time, he exceed my expectations in what I wanted conveyed. We also spent about a week together (?) during the recording boot camp for the demo songs, and the time I spent sitting next to him and listening to the same songs was surreal. I couldn’t believe the person sitting next to me wrote the songs that I listened to as a student.

I want readers to like Kisa. A cover illustration filled with strong emotions.

On October 9, 2020 on Twitter, you tweeted, “Makin’ games is hard.” What was it you found difficult?

I was given a lot of decision-making authority as a producer, but since I’m a company outsider, I had a hard time making decisions without seeing the actual situation or making choices in areas where I had no insight. It was a tweet vexed from my inability to understand due to lack of experience. I wish I had more power...

What do you want people to pay attention to when they play the demo version?

I’d like people to pay attention to the fact that the art and script were created by very few people (almost two people), much like an indie game. Something like, “Ishida really drew all these characters!” or “Towada-san really wrote all the script!”...there is more to come in the full version.

You drew the cover illustration for this issue of the magazine, but I’d like to hear more details regarding this.

I drew it while reflecting on how lucky I was, like, “I’m really drawing for the magazine I’ve read since I was a kid...!?” I drew both male and female forms for Kisa, in the hopes that people would come to love the main character.

Please leave a message to your fans and readers who are eagerly awaiting the release of this game.

I made it so that players of all ages and genders can enjoy the game. There is a lot more in store besides just the illustrations. I hope you will play it!

[smilingleoo]

Seokjin Drabble- he slaps you during an argument

Request: Can I request Jin angst where he has a huge argument with Y/N and he accidentally slaps her because of anger? Thanks. :)

Warnings: angst, violence and swearing.

Author´s Note: Hello yet again :) How´s quarantine going? Feel free to talk to me if you are having any emotional problem (goes for all readers), It´s good to help each other!!! As regards my masterlist, I´ve had some problem with it but I´ll try to update it soon...

-------

------

“Jin we can´t keep having this conversation”-you sighed.”You shouldn´t be taking that many pills through one day, it´s not healthy”

“Are you my doctor now?”-he answered. He was shirtless on your shared bed, going through his cellphones as the light of the silver moon shone over his bruises and bandages-” The last time I checked you were my girlfriend/boyfriend”

By now, you didn´t understand if he was being funny or he was mocking you. Seokjin was not aggressive nor sarcastic. In fact, he was the most comprehensive and sweet man you had ever met. Of course, he could be sassy whenever he felt like it but all those time were with an entertaining purpose, not to hurt anyone. However, lately, he had been a little bit too impulsive-” That's why I have every damn right to be looking after you”

“ I´m a grown-ass man, Y/N”-he hissed. He had pushed his torso upwards, propping his bodyweight on his elbows. His glare burnt with exhaustion as it pierced your whole body with strength. You felt like trembling, quivering legs begging you to drop yourself to the floor, but you stood tall, not even daring to give him the satisfaction-” You don´t act like one, Seokjin. Actually, if you are indeed a responsible adult, you would understand the risks you may suffer if you keep asking your body things it can´t simply do”

“ Are you telling me I´m useless?”-he huffed and you rolled your eyes. Was he serious?

“ Oh, don´t put words in my mouth that I didn´t even say!”-you snapped. He bit his bottom lip as if knowing you were right but if he was regretting his statement he didn´t act on it. By now, you had marched towards the bed and had sat down In front of your boyfriend. He was fully incorporated now, legs crossed over each other like a small kid. Your eyes roamed his now tensed muscles and tired body posture. You were just worried, you weren´t trying to be an obsessive bitch. You loved Kim Seokjin and you wouldn´t know what to do if something serious actually happened to him because of his hardworking self.

“ Look, Y/N, I don´t need a babysitter”-he murmured-” I just need you to leave my career out of our relationship. You don´t have to worry about that”

“ But that´s what you love doing the most. When I accepted being your partner, I fell in love with you; everything you´re passionate about and even your faults. So don´t push me away now”-you whispered extending your arm to caress his cheek. He leaned into your soothing touch yet his rage made him pull away, swerving his head from your tender skin. He appeared to be having a mental debate on whether to explain everything to you or to just yell at you. He grinned, frowned and blinked repeatedly so as not to cry. His palms began to shake and you discretely started backing away. You trusted him but this person was not your boyfriend.

“ I don´t need your fucking pity”-he laughed-” Everyone is always saying I´m the less talented, the worst dancer, the most overrated among the members. They all pity me because I´m the eldest and I can´t do what Jungkook does or that I try to show myself in order for anyone to notice my poor self-”

“-Nobody says that, Jin. I always read ARMYs comments and tweets, they love you and are so thankful that you´re part of-”

“-YOU ARE NOT FUCKING ME, Y/n”-he screamed as he crawled towards you. His face was near you and his hand was grabbing your wrist with abnormal strength. His eyes held mortifying rage, staring at your frightened orbs. A small sob accompanied your laboured breaths, sensing how your demeanour made him even angrier but not at you, at his own self. He was driving himself mad-” You don´t understand what´s comparing yourself to others. What being an idol brings about. Look at me for God´s Sake! I´m a mess!”

“We can solve this together, Seokjin”-you chocked out. His nose flared and you pushed your fear away to blurt out-” Just let me help you”

“Help me?”-he asked sardonically-” You´re fucking useless. You think you can help everyone and turn them into some perfect shit of sorts. Let me break it down for you, that´s not even possible”

“ You´re not being coherent, Seokjin”-you mumbled-” This is not like you!” “ What makes you think you know me?”-his grip on your wrist tightened unpleasantly as he stretched his neck from side to side. His actions were anxious and ragged, warning you about future dangers. Yet you needed to at least try.

“ I know you because I love you and you love me. You let me into your heart and allowed me to see how amazing you´re...”

“Shut up”-he whispered.

“Jin”

“SHUT UP!”

Slap

Your vision wasn´t fast enough to catch his hand approaching your face. Your skin was still not really perceiving the burning and pain of his aggression. Just the sound of the sudden contact echoed in your ears as you stared motionless at Seokjin. His anger vanished abruptly and some glistening tears began pouring down his cheekbones. His frozen lips turned bone-white as his expression morphed to one of utter disbelief-” Y/N I-I´m...”

For once, you didn´t wait for him to finish. Instead, you stood up and left the room while Seokjin yelled his regret from the bedroom. You paced through your apartment gathering different items into a backpack, tears blurring your vision as you attempted to snatch some pain-relieving pills from the tiny basket in the bathroom. As you pushed everything into your improvised luggage, a small medication box slipped to the floor. You picked it up and unintentionally read the side effects.

You scanned the brief paragraphs, words like impulsivity, aggressiveness and lose of control sticking harmfully in your mind. You knew something was off, Seokjin wasn´t like that. The pills he took were causing that tornado of emotions inside his soul.

Not knowing what to do, you wrote down a little message for him to read when he had calmed down and left the apartment. You decided to ask Yoongi if you could stay in the dorms since you had no relatives in Korea and he was the closest friend you had. As soon as he opened the door, his eyes widened as he examined your red swollen cheek and purpling skin-” What happened?”

“Yoongi I need you to tell me what the fuck is happening to Seokjin”

[hobidreams]

@petty-talkofthecharts-discord-members You people really have 0 idea how industry, market, major music awards and charts work and it shows. Sit down. People are streaming because they enjoy music. You consume the music by streaming. Stop portraying people as bots and rabid fans. You listened to BE? Sorry to break it to you that you streamed. It's not about breaking records, it's not about other acts, it's about giving back love to BTS. THE BOYS explicitly said, multiple times, on a national 1/6

under a cut cause multipart 

television, in US and Korea, that they want all BE songs to chart on Hot100. THEY said they want #1 BB debut w Korean song. THEY all said, multiple times, including last week, they want a Grammy. THEY all wept whole night after #1, Jimin literally cried until 4 AM on the timeline together with armys. THEY SAID in the skit, after expressing euphoria, "Hoba, don't you think this is what happiness is like?". THEY said in the skit, "This is the best gift of my life... what... what just happened" 2/6

We appreciate them and the comfort, happiness their music brings us and we want to make them happy in return. So we give them what makes them happy. By doing what makes us happy. Which is listening to their music. If you don't want to see BTS happy, if you don't want them to get the awards they want, don't be a pressed anti in other people's business and let armys do what they want. If you think BTS is inorganic, that's fine, whatever helps you sleep at night, but know that so are all your 3/6

faves whoever they are. Name one organic big western act. Don't be shy, baby, speak into the mic. And it's cute how you think the strategies are a new thing on the west and how it's tied to BTS and ??kpop?? somehow? Do a little research on the history of Billboard charts. Whole history. Not just the last decade. Although the last decade has plenty of gems, too. Come on, sweetie. And let's not even BEGIN to talk about payola and blacklisting and fucking bundles. DON'T FUCKING LET ME START ON 4/6

blacklisting and payola and western acts and other certain acts and all your precious organic gp-loved "critically-acclaimed" radio-loved faves. You don't wanna have that convo, you really, really don't. It's gonna get real embarrassing for all non-BTS real quick. The receipts are out there, honey. So maybe don't start convos about charts and music industry when you're absolutely oblivious about everything, including how much you don't know about anything. 5/6

Y'all pressed people need to stop disrespecting BTS. You come and say THAT after everything Joon said and expressed just recently? Seriously? I hope the fuck you're now spewing this on weverse or twitter where there's even a tiny possibility he can see it. I have 2 questions for you: how could you? Why do you hate him so much? 6/6

my dude. first of all i literally disagreed with the anon that said streaming is inorganic lol.

as i have said through my responses multiple times, i think STREAMING IS IMPORTANT AND VALID. i said streaming serves a lot of purposes and streaming gets artists growth. i literally said this at least 3x. i am not here to argue organic/inorganic. please don’t put words in my mouth. i did not say that any of the western acts are organic. i never said that they don’t have strategies to get their numbers higher. i said western artists have easier times getting radio play than our boys do because they compose music primarily in english and that’s absolutely not fair and xenophobic, and streaming is a way to combat that from our side. i was praising those who take the time to stream. i am literally saying its UNFAIR that our boys don’t get more chances to get heard on the radio.

the only point i am trying to make is that nobody is obligated to stream. my original post was made in response to many many tweets i saw that were straight up BASHING on those who dont stream, saying they’re not real fans or they don’t deserve to get decent concert tickets. there are MANY MANY ways of supporting BTS or any other artist you like, and that’s buying tickets. buying merch. buying albums. i don’t want anyone to feel guilty or bad because there are people telling them theyre not doing enough, when they are. the only obligations we have as fans is to enjoy the music. that IS streaming. the very definition of streaming is to listen to a song in real time. please take a look at my answers again. i’ll even quote one here:

we have a right to enjoy content however we want. if that means streaming to you, then yay! if that means listening once today and once tomorrow, yay!

i am trying to say that there should not be any bullying of people to stream. im no way am i discounting the importance of streaming. i am saying it should be something undertaken willingly.

(p.s. what? lol i can’t even fathom why you think i would dedicate nearly two years of my life to run a blog about a guy i ‘hate’?)

edit: also in case it isnt clear, ive been talking about mass-streaming. not just listening to the album. ive been talking about the culture that promotes people staying up and sacrificing sleep/health to stream.

[nordic-breeze]

Arthur Morgan/F!Reader - Trouble With The Law

AO3. WC:  2648. Warnings: none. General audience.

A timid reader and a fairly new inclusion to the van der Linde gang. You've been wary of Arthur ever since you joined the van der Linde's but nevertheless you find courage to come to his aid when he finds himself in trouble with the law while Arthur gets a taste of how it would be like to have a family of his own.

But first, a prelude.

The surprise shower of rain has let up and the sun greets you with its warmth as you exit the general store in Valentine. You tuck away a candy bar and a small bag of dried fruit and let your fingers glide over a lovely blue shawl you bought from the money you earned from selling some of your crafts. It feels good to have paid with hard-earned, honest cash for once. Karen and Mary-Beth are nowhere to be seen. You reckon they went to join Bill when the rain stopped to secure the best seats on the buckboard. You let out a huff as you realize you’ll be dead last to return – again.

Or, maybe not? You wrap the new shawl around you, tying the ends into a loose knot when Arthur Morgan’s unmistakable voice catches your ear. You turn and spot him two steps to your left, talking to the one-armed, loquacious beggar in the well-worn, tattered soldier’s uniform. Or, listening impatiently as the other rambles on. You mentally prepare to defend the pitiful scrounger from the coarse and rowdy outlaw. Morgan is being friendly, well, friendly-ish for the time being but surely his near non-existing patience is about to run out. You still have a few coins left that you think of handing to the homeless man. You regret buying the candy bar. If you hadn’t, the poor fella could’ve bought himself a hot meal, but there should still be enough money for – what?!

A second later, you forget all about that when, to your astonishment, the lonesome soldier embraces the brooding van der Linde with his one arm.

“I won’t forget this, Arthur,” he vows, his voice brimming with gratitude. “Thank you. Thank you.”

The beggar saunter in the direction of the train station, a smile spread on his weathered face as he hums about his friend Arthur while playing with the coins given to him. Mr. Morgan turns on his heels, chin low and notably self-aware. It certainly doesn’t help when he meets your marble eyes, and come to realize that you’ve witnessed everything. The other van der Linde’s had all returned to the buckboard, or so he thought. He was sure no one from the camp would see. Two awkward seconds of dumbstruck silence follow before Mr. Morgan tips the brim of his hat.

“Miss <y/n>”

“Mr. Morgan.” Eyes fixed on the buttons on his shirt, you return the greeting. “That was, um, very kind of you, I’m sure he appr-“

“Sure.”

He offers the curt response as he strides past you in the direction of the van der Linde’s customary rendezvous-spot. You follow a couple of steps behind, equally self-conscious. The fact that this had been your very first actual, one-on-one exchange with the daunting Mr. Morgan does not help at all. You both reach the buckboard at the same time, and you realize just a second too late it seems to the others as you two have been gone somewhere together, earning some strange looks.

“What you two been up to?” Bill grins, clearly amused.

“Nothing!” You and Arthur simultaneously chime, which earns a few raised eyebrows. Arthur finds his place next to Bill without another word, and you squeeze in between the girls, cheeks glowing. Karen shoves her elbow into your ribs, giggling.

“What happened?” she enquires, eyes brimming with curiosity. “What was you and Arthur up to?”

“I- eh,” you begin.

“C’mon, tell us!” she insists.

“Um, eh- you gonna have to ask Mr. Morgan.”

-

“Look auntie <y/n>, a froggie!”

“That’s a frog all right. Look, I think it’s about to leap.”

And right on cue, the amphibian springs into the air, followed by three tiny hops across the forest floor, which prompts the squatting four-year old to let out a spontaneous, gleeful laugh.

“It’s so cute. Hi froggie.”

“Now, what should we name him? Or her?”

“<Y/N>!”

“After me? Aw, that’s so sweet.”

You’re in the woods not too far from the camp site. Your mission: gather herbs, berries and mushrooms. You brought Jack with you, not just as a favor to Abigail, but because you genuinely enjoy spending time with the boy. You and young Marston are both consumed by the study of forest creatures when you hear angry voices from the road nearby, one of them familiar. Mr. Morgan?

There are at least two additional men’s voices which yo do not recognize, but from his tone you can tell Mr. Morgan is not pleased with how the conversation is going. Using the forest vegetation as cover, you sneak up to eavesdrop, motioning for Jack to be quiet by putting your index to your lips.

“Can’t a fellar enjoy this beautiful country in peace and quiet anymore?”

“Not when there’s been a stagecoach robbery nearby,” an unfamiliar voice interjects. “We have to question everybody in the area, sir.”

“You see mister,” another other voice breaks in, this one more assertive. “Eyewitnesses has described a man of your height and shape robbing that stagecoach, and here you are, no alibi and no good explanation as to your presence here.”

“I was out huntin’.”

“I don’t see no hunting rifle.”

“It’s on my horse, it’s, eh – it got spooked by a snake or somethin’ movin’ in the grass. I dunno where it’s run off to.”

“What did you say your name was again, Sir?”

“I didn’t.”

You’ve been wary of the gang’s leading enforcer ever since you joined the van der Linde’s all those months ago, finding him ruthless, crude and not just a little bit intimidating. Nonetheless you believe he’s innocent as it’s in your best interest to keep a low profile so close to the camp. But even in the off-chance he did rob that stagecoach, you still have to help out a fellow gang member and get rid of these lawmen so dangerously close to the camp. Leaning into Jack’s ear you give him a set of very specific instructions.

“Pa! We’re back, pa.”

Arthur’s eyebrows shoot up when Jack sprints out from behind the trees, shortly followed by you carrying a basket brimming with various flora, smiling from ear to ear.

“Darling! Sorry we took so long,” you tweet as you tuck away a runaway lock. You have to force yourself to look him directly in the eyes, something you’ve never dared to before, as you tuck your arm around his and flash him the loveliest a smile. Arthur is quick to hide his bemusement and plays along, hoisting Jack up in his left arm whilst letting you hold onto his right. All these months he’s been wholly convinced you despise him so he’s more than a little bit surprised but nonetheless grateful for the bailout. But what could your motivation possibly be?

“Pa, guess what, we just saw a froggie,” young Marston chimes. “I named it after momma.”

The boy inadvertently coming up with the perfect excuse for your absence, all you have to do is to give Arthur an alibi. “Is my husband in trouble with the law? No Sir, that could not have been him robbing those poor folks. He’s been with us for the better part of the day, teaching our boy how to track animals while I was gathering herbs. It’s for tonight’s dinner.”

Your grip around Arthur’s arm tightens. He’s rolled up the sleeves and your fingertips brush against his warm skin. You had never expected him to feel so - soft.

“That horse of us got spooked by a snake and ran to the river down there.” Your eyes never leaving the lawmen, you nod in the direction of said river. The crown of your head bumps into Arthur’s arm.

“She’s a darling but terribly skittish I’m afraid. My husband said he’d go after her while I took our boy behind that rock over there. Nature calling. But when he saw that little frog, it was impossible to get him to leave. You know, boys his age.”

You turn to Arthur. Was that a hint of a smile? It almost makes you lose your train of thought. Almost. “Did you find Boadicea, dear?”

You hope he doesn’t mind the use of his old horse’s name. Nearly drawing a momentarily blank, it was the only name that had popped into your head. If he does mind, he doesn’t show it.

“I was about to go down and calm her when these two idiots came outta nowhere.”

“Now darling, have some respect for the law.” Hoping to defuse the situation peacefully, you place your other hand on Arthur’s overarm, feeling his muscles tense under the fabric of his shirt. “These fine gentlemen here are just doing their job,” you remind, squeezing his arm lightly.

The more aggressive of the lawmen steers his attention back to Arthur. “Is this true?”

“As the lady says,” the van der Linde cooly replies, giving him that glare. His voice is calm but with a threatening edge to its tone.

Jack plays his part beautifully and you surprise yourself being almost equally convincing. Now having a solid alibi, the lawmen have no choice but to let their suspect go. As they retreat you let go of your five-minute husband’s arm, whom now has Jack in both of his. You feel a buzz of excitement knowing that your plan had worked like a charm and relieved that the threat was dealt with peacefully, but with the lawmen gone, the realization that you’re now alone with the menacing outlaw sinks in. You hope he’s not angry with your meddling. You are well aware of his shoot-first-ask-never stance when it comes to troublesome lawmen. The law well out of hearing-range, Arthur shifts his attention to the boy eagerly reciting your plan, and asking if he did well. He did.

“It was aunt <y/n>’s idea,” he smiles after Arthur’s done praising him. Your grip on the basket tightens, making your knuckles go white.

Still not sure why you had helped him but grateful nonetheless, the van der Linde offers you a ride back to camp. Too nervous to speak, you just nod. As Arthur’s horse can’t carry all three of you, you and Jack takes up the saddle whilst Arthur leads. Thank goodness for the young one’s never-ending blabber, otherwise the trip back to camp would have been pretty awkward. Actually, it still kind of is.

At the camp, Jack wastes no time running up to Abigail to tell her all about what had happened and how well he did, squealing high enough for the entire camp to hear. Dutch emerges from his tent to see what the commotion’s about and before you know it, people start huddling around as Jack excitedly recites the event to everyone in hearing range. This ends up getting a whole lot more attention than you’d imagined. From the corner of our eye, you take notice of Arthur’s annoyance. Yep, there was definitely an internal facepalm to go with that eye-roll. Your knuckles go white again.

From here on out, everything’s a little hazy. You remember Dutch asking Arthur about the lawmen and the latter brushing it of as a misunderstanding and Karen’s bombardment of questions whose wording you instantly forget. Some of the gang members, especially Bill, sees this as the perfect opportunity to crack jokes at your expense.

“Little miss <y/n> and big ole’mean Arthur Morgan, who would’ve thought,” he roars, resulting in a choir of laughter. “You two keep disappearing and reappearing again together like this, you’ll end up married for real one day,” he wheezes, alluding to the other day in Valentine when you and Arthur had arrived together, both of you avoiding any elaboration on the matter.

“Well then, maybe miss <y/n> here won’t look like a frightened rabbit about to be devoured by a wolf every time Mr. Morgan’s around,” Pearson taunts, followed by more laugher.

This is all too much. You absentmindedly hand the basket over to the person closest to you, Abigail you think, scurry off from the crowd, slip behind the shrubbery surrounding the camp, coming to a halt at a patch of grass close to the canyon cliffside where you start pacing, embarrassed and annoyed at your own inability to stand up for yourself. Unless you learn how to retort fellow gang members’ mockery at your expense, you’re going to end up as the butt of the joke more than once.

In the meantime, Tilly and Mary-Beth both insist that Arthur, who just wants the whole thing to be forgotten and over with mind you, go and talk to you. He eventually caves in and heads over to check on you, startling you as he makes his presence known.

“Didn’t mean to scare ya, miss. You allrite?”

You fumble with your fingers, one moment intertwining them, the next you’re playing with the fringes on your shawl or twiddling your hair. “What? Me? Sure. I’m cool as a cucumber,” you gawkily chortle, a spur-of-the-moment attempt at making light of a tense situation, immediately followed by internal cringing.

“Cool as a – what?”

“Eh, nothing. Just something I read in a poem once,” you continue babbling. Lord knows what he must be thinking of you now, silly little girl.

“Really?”

“Never mind. Look, I’m real sorry about all the fuss back there thanks to my brilliant plan. I didn’t mean for it to get so you know, … embarrassing.”

“It ain’t yer fault,” he assures, saving you from having to continue your train of thought, of which had hit a buffer stop. “Bill’n Pearson may be idiots both of’em, but they mean nothin’ by it.”

“I know, I-“

“I go’n talk to’em.”

“No, tha-that’s okay. It’ll only make it worse. I need to learn how to stand up for myself.”

“You sure?”

“M-hmm.”

“All rite. Just let me know if you want me to put’em in their place.”

An awkward pause ensues. Arthur scratches the back of his head. His wordless stare has you look down. You trace the ground with your foot, watching grass blades disappear under the sole of your shoe. How hard life must be for ground-level flora, being stepped and tramped on all day when all they want in life is to be left alone to bathe in the sun, with a little bit of water and air to go.

“You’re a clever one you know, savin’ me from a night in jail like that. You did good.”

You return his compliment with a coy smile. You can feel your cheeks burning, as if the warmth of your beam is surging upwards and accumulating at a spot below your eyes. Flustered and charmed by the outlaw, you avert your eyes, hoping in vain he hadn’t noticed. A smile tugs at his lips.

“You’ve got one thing wrong, though.” There is a hint of jest to his voice. “Boadicea wasn’t skittish.”

“Oh I have no doubt. I was just, had to say something fast and it was the only name I could think of.”

“Yeah I figured.” A low rumble from his chest emerges as a deep and throaty yet pleasant chortle. “I was surprised you remembered.”

“You miss her?”

He looks away for the first time since joining you on that patch of grass, blades horizontal against the ground after endless pacing from many a troubled van der Linde.

“She was a good horse,” he eventually replies without really answering your question though the expression in his eyes alongside a long, near imperceptible sigh you more sense than hear is answer enough. He adjusts his hat by tugging at the brim. You see absolutely no difference.

“Well, catch you later, then.”

“Wait!” You stop him as he’s about to turn on his heels, your faltering courage thwarting you from saying what you had intended. “Can I, um, ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Did you really rob that stagecoach?”

-

A lil something that’s been in my draft for almost two months. I've been working on it now and then in between my other stories, but a writer's block prevented me from completing it until now.

[xiezuo]

hi! can i request hcs for mark tuan as a dad/with a pregnant s/o? i saw ur post about jb and i loved that, so i was wondering if u could do that for mark too 💕

Masterpost | Rules | WIPs

Of course I can I love Mark so much ;-; Wow these posts do make me softWarning : strong language (like in all my posts lmao)

Mark Yien Tuan (GOT7)

That moment when you lowkey stalk an idol’s dad on Twitter to get an idea of how they’d be as a dad

Ok so I feel like Mark is always super responsible when it comes to sex (wrap it before you tap it kids !)

So if you get pregnant it’s most likely because you planned on having one

So really when you missed your period, you weren’t very surprised, in fact you were really excited

You wanted it to be a surprise so you didn’t tell him about it and bought a pregnancy test on your way back from picking up the groceries

But he knew something was going on because you were suddenly so ??? Weirdly happy and giggly ????? He knew you were planning something

Which you were

So Mark had to leave for promotions for about two weeks and you thought this would be the perfect time to do the pregnancy test without looking suspicious

And surprise surprise (not really), it’s positive !!!!!!!!

You have to refrain yourself from texting all your friends and family about it because you want Mark to be the first to know

And the day before he comes back you let him know you have a little surprise for him at home

Needless to say Mark is super excited and lowkey thinking it has something to do with stuff you do in the bedroom

So he’s a little confused when he comes home and you’re in your pajamas reading a book on the couch in the living room

And he doesn’t even notice the huge banner on top of the couch that says “welcome home dad” for a good minute or two

But when he does it takes him about 20 seconds to register the information before he’s smiling and giggling like an idiot because he’s just ???? So happy ????? He can’t wait to start a family with you

He picks up your book and throws it somewhere behind him and pulls you into a warm bear hug and doesn’t let go for 30 minutes

The first person you tell after that is Mark’s dad

You both call him on Skype to tell him the good news and lowkey Raymond is almost tearing up and so are you

Being pregnant doesn’t change much to your relationship tbh

Aside from the fact that he compliments you 198165189164 times more and calls you sexy mama constantly

You could be taking out the trash and he’d find a way to make it look like you’re a model on the runway

Really though the fact that you’re pregnant with his child is somehow really appealing to him

But other than that, Mark is pretty chill with it

Being a dad doesn’t freak him out at all and he’s confident you’ll both do an amazing job

Parenting books ? Prenatal classes ? What are those ? Mark doesn’t know

He’s a “we’ll figure things out once we get there” kind of guy

He also respects your autonomy so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you and he lets you do your things on your own

But if you ask for help because you can’t do something then he’s there in 0.2 seconds

Lowkey wishes it’s a girl but is still very and if not even happier when you find out you’re expecting a boy

And he can’t help but go into stereotypical father-son territory where he already makes plans about teaching your son how to play sports

But then catches himself and says that he’ll also teach him about arts and music if that’s what your kid’s into

I feel like he doesn’t do anything fancy to tell the boys about your pregnancy

In fact they end up finding out on their own when you’re all hanging out and you turn down the drinks they offer

And they’re like ????? You never did that before

And it’s Jackson who just assumes you’re pregnant and yells it so everyone else hears

And lowkey they’re all mad because Mark never told them but he’s just like “the subject never came up”

Because to him it’s just a normal thing that you’re pregnant

A similar thing happens when it’s time to announce to the world that you’re expecting

Like you kinda lay low when the baby bump starts showing so you and Mark are rarely seen together in public anymore, if ever

The fans are concerned and continuously ask Mark on social media

So Mark eventually decides to post an update about you on Twitter, saying everything is fine and that you’re just being careful not to put the baby in dangerous situations

Let’s just say Twitter goes wild that day

But other than that, the pregnancy goes smoothly

He makes fun of your weird cravings all the time too

Anyways

As calm as he was during the pregnancy, when it’s time to give birth it’s a whole other story

You wake him up in the middle of the night to complain about really bad cramps

And they feel nothing like the ones you’ve been experiencing for the past 9 months, this shit’s the real deal

And he’s up and ready in 2 seconds, doesn’t even take the time to get dressed, and he’s already out the door with your hospital bag in hand

Ends up coming back to help you walk to the car but he’s freaking out

Speed limit ? Stop signs ? Red lights ? What are those ? You’re thankful it’s 2AM and no one’s on the road because Mark would’ve caused accidents with his reckless driving

When you arrive at the hospital, he’s still freaking out and nearly causing a scene, nearly shouting at random nurses for help

You end up being the one having to calm him down despite being in so much pain

Eventually someone comes in and brings you to an exam room to determine if labor as begun or if you’re just experiencing Braxton Hickscontractions

Turns out you’re not and the doctor can already feel the baby’s head trying to come out

You’re rushed into the delivery room and Mark has trouble keeping up with everything

Boy does he regret not reading those books Jaebum bought for you because he has no idea what’s happening

He tries his best to stay strong for you because you’re screaming and you’re very obviously in pain

He ends up being completely useless

When morning comes he starts getting phone calls from the other members because he’s missing practice and he loses his temper and just texts them “my son is being born shut the fuck up this is more important”

30 minutes later the whole group is in the hallway in front of your room waiting for it to be over

Mark ends up joining them and by joining them I mean you end up kicking him out of the room because as much as he tries hiding the fact that he’s freaking out, he can’t, and you can’t deal with this shit while you’re pushing out a 15 lbs baby out of your vagina

After what felt like an eternity, he finally hears your baby’s cries and it just sounds like music to his ears

He comes back into the room to see this tiny little thing in your arms and his heart stops beating

You’re sweaty and panting heavily and you look like you’ve been run over by a truck but you’ve never looked so beautiful to him than in this moment

He carefully walks up to you and kneels right next to you, resting his head on the bed and stares at his son in your arms while the boys not-so-sneakily take pictures from the door frame

Mark is lowkey scared to hold him when you ask if he wants to because he’s scared he’s going to break him

But once he holds your son into his arms he doesn’t want to let go

And he shamelessly shows him off to the other boys like “look at this beautiful little thing that I made, isn’t he the most handsome boy you’ve ever seen in your life”

He will forever deny it but he cried when the little boy reached out to touch his face

But the honeymoon cuts short after you bring him home

Not really but Mark is the parent who keeps track of whose turn it is to get up to take care of the baby when he starts crying in the middle of the night

Which is every two hours for the first 6 months, at least

And his job doesn’t allow him to take long breaks so he never really stop doing idol things after your son is born, but he makes sure he’s never away from home for too long at once

If he has to leave the country for a long time, he insists on bringing you both along with him

Wants your son to have a great relationship with his grandparents so once your son grows a bit older, he travels a lot to L.A. with him so he can spend some time with Papa and Mama Tuan

I can see Papa Tuan tweeting about his grandson a lot whenever he visits, never missing an opportunity to roast Mark by making it look like your son is already better than him at everything

The fans love it because it’s so cute

As a dad, I feel like Mark is really chill and he respects your son’s opinions, personality and most importantly his privacy

I feel like he’s also very open to talk about anything to him and always answers his questions no matter how many he’s asking

And he’s very honest with him

6-year-old son : “Dad, how are babies made ?”

Mark : “Babies happen when a man and a woman have unprotected sex”

6-year-old son : “What’s sex ?”

You, shouting from the other room : “Something you should only do with someone you love after you marry them !!!!!!”

Mark : *dies of laughter* “Funny you say that since we we weren’t married when—”

You : “Finish that sentence and I’ll make sure marriage never happens”

I also feel like Mark would try his best to make sure he never witnesses when you guys are fighting

And you both mutually agreed that if there’s something that needs to be talked about, it has to be done in private with the doors closed and no shouting

He also doesn’t hold back with the affection he gives you when your son is around so he can grow up knowing what a healthy relationship looks like

I feel like he’s all in for your son experiencing life on his own but he does have some boundaries that if your son happens to cross, things aren’t gonna be so pretty

But your son has so much respect for his dad that the idea of testing his limits never really crosses his mind

In his teenage years your son thinks Mark is embarrassing but literally all his friends think he’s really cool

Mark will forever stay young at heart so it’s easy for him to connect to his son’s friends

Overall Mark would be an amazing dad, and if he ever has problems I feel like he wouldn’t hesitate to ask his own dad for advice

[pancaspe]

Lin-Manuel Miranda Talks Puerto Rico Benefit Song 'Almost Like Praying'

Interview in Rolling Stone

"The way music comes out of ... every molecule of the place [is] something we share," playwright says of track featuring Jennifer Lopez and Luis Fonsi

It's been two weeks since Hurricane Maria first raged across the island of Puerto Rico, and the crisis has only grown more complex. What first seemed like a natural disaster has also proven to be a long-standing infrastructural one; most of the island remains without electricity and water, putting its residents at a heightened risk of disease and famine. Yet with Puerto Ricans' pleas meeting inadequate responses from the White House, Tony-winning Hamilton playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda has taken matters into his own hands – and with the help of many friends. Recorded alongside an all-star cast of Latin artists, including Jennifer Lopez, Gina Rodriguez, Fat Joe, Gloria Esterfan, Camila Cabello and Marc Anthony, Miranda's new song "Almost Like Praying" is a love song to Puerto Rico as much as it is a fight song. The song's proceeds will benefit the Hispanic Federation's UNIDOS Disaster Relief Fund.

"You know how we always tell artists 'stay in your lane' anytime they say something remotely political? I'm trying to use what I do in service of this challenge," Miranda tells Rolling Stone. "We're facing a humanitarian crisis right now. And the response from our federal government is not commensurate with the previous two hurricanes, much less up to the unprecedented danger of this disaster itself."

Miranda began work on the song, an adaptation of "Maria" from 1961 musical West Side Story, two days after the hurricane first made landfall. "I knew the name Maria was forever going to have a destructive connotation to this island," says Miranda. "It's also the name of my favorite song from West Side Story. So my brain was already looking for a sample to flip … And that's what we do in hip-hop, right? We take a sample, we flip it and change the meaning. And so the hook of the song is, 'Say it soft, and it's almost like praying.'"

But first, he sought clearance from Stephen Sondheim and the estate of Leonard Bernstein. "They gave their blessing within a day," says Miranda. "When there's a crisis, you call in all the favors – call the gods of musical theater! I have the great fortune to count Sondheim as a mentor and a friend. I worked with him and Bernstein on the 2009 revival of West Side Story and its Spanish translations. Sondheim wrote back immediately and said 'Yes – and what else can I do?'"

Miranda infused the number with a warm blend of dancehall, reggaeton and steel drum sounds; the result is an incendiary and highly danceable clarion call. ("If you're gonna write a song for Puerto Rico and you can't dance to it," says Miranda, "you fucked up.") Most moving is how many of Miranda's childhood heroes, including original West Side Story cast member Rita Moreno, take turns shouting out each of the island's 78 towns – a move Miranda says was inspired by Puerto Ricans' heartbreaking calls across social media to find their relatives in the wake of the storm.

"There was a terrible silence," says Miranda. "For some people days, for some people weeks. My Twitter and my Facebook were filled with friends and family listing the names of their towns. 'My grandmother is in Vega Alta, my father lives in San Juan, has anyone heard from Isabela?' I began thinking about the towns as lyrics. What unites us in this tiny island that is 100 miles across and 35 miles north to south … Is that we're from these towns. We ask, 'Where are you from?' It is our link to our roots and our families."

While enlisting collaborators for the track, Miranda says he made new friends in the process. "I broke my Rolodex and called every Latino artist I know," he says. "And when I didn't know them, I got on Twitter. I caused a minor uproar with Camila Cabello's fans when I tweeted her, 'Hey I have an idea!' I also sent a private message to Luis Fonsi, who I never met before. I cold-called and every single person said yes, without even hearing the song."

Within a dizzying 72 hours, Miranda flew from New York to Miami and Los Angeles to be present while the artists recorded their respective verses. Yet some were still recovering in the Caribbean, where resources were scarce and internet access was spotty. "The rapper PJ Sin Suela recorded at home," says Miranda. "But he didn't have the bandwidth to email his verse. So he gave a memory stick to Estefan, who was there on a relief mission – she then flew it back to us. When I say 'all hands on deck,' I'm really not fucking around!"

Riggs Morales, the executive producer behind the Hamilton Mixtape, mixed and mastered the song in the days that followed. Meanwhile, Miranda harvested stories of Puerto Rico from his collaborators, evoking tears and laughter inside the studios. This behind-the-scenes footage will air as part of a televised benefit, airing commercial-free on Telemundo Saturday, October 7th.

"I asked everyone, 'What are your favorite memories from Puerto Rico?'" says Miranda. "I will never forget seeing Rubén Blades breaking down about meeting Hector LaVoe for the first time. I'll never forget Marc Anthony talking about wearing suits before getting on a plane [to the United States] so they'd look white when they landed … And Gilberto Santa Rosa, who sang at my wedding. He was a salsero, but grew up in the same part of town as Daddy Yankee. They could not make two more different genres, but music saved their lives.

"The way music comes out of every frog, every tree, every molecule of the place," reflects Miranda, "That's something we share."

Almost like praying

[sunyoonandstars]

BTS Scenario 1.2.: Him being too busy with work to make time for you (while you are having a hard time)

Scenario

They’re busy with work, and don’t seem to be able to make time for you, so you keep dropping by. Because you also have a very demanding schedule and only ever get a few days off a week / month, so you desperately want to spend your valuable free time spend with your love …

angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

(I postet the same scenario with Jin a few days ago, have a look if you like)

Enjoy!

2. Min Yoongi / Suga

When you started going out with Min Yoongi, you knew very well what you were getting into. First off, he was a famous idol. Secondly, he was a workaholic and truly passionate about his music, almost to a level where his passion became unhealthy, always forgetting to eat, drink or putting off sleep until he was completely drained. Also, he would always put his music first. He made that clear from the beginning.

„I just want you to know, y/n, I love you, I really do, like I never loved anyone in my life before. You are my muse, you always inspire me to be better and are there to take care of me when I don’t even know that I need help. You complete me. But music will always me my first love, my greatest passion, and I will put it first no matter what. However, that does not mean I don’t love you, okay? I will always love you. But you can never have my heart all to yourself.“

You understood, being an artist yourself. And his passion was one of the things you admired and loved about him.

However, over time it became harder and harder to accept the fact, that you would always be second place when it came to Yoongis love and attention. He spent almost all his time at the studio, working on, producing and recording new songs, even collaborating with other artists, and traveling a lot in the process. Sometimes he would even forget to let you know that he was out of town. A couple of times you stopped by at the dorm or the studio to surprise him, only to find out that he was God knew where, working on a song with God knew who, for God knew how long. You tried your best to shrug it off and hide your disappointment, but the other members noticed anyway. They tried to cheer you up, telling you that he treated them no differently, and even invited you to stay for a meal.

„Jin cooked for us“, Jung-kook added excitedly. „You have to stay!“

They tried their best to make you feel better, and you really appreciated it. However, it only made things worse. Throughout the whole meal, you had to hold back tears, not having heard from Yoongi for almost a week, his text message responses conspicuously short or non existent, and only being reminded of his absence by the presence of the others.

When the evening came to an end, you expressed your gratitude, for them taking time out of their busy schedules just for you, to each and every one of them. Finally you said your goodbyes to Jin and pulled him aside.

„What is it?“, he asked, concerned by the look on your face.

„Jin, oppa, I’m a little ashamed to even ask this of you, but could you and the others please not mention to Yoongi that I stopped by so many times while he was gone? I don’t want him to feel guilty. He is working on something that is very important to him and is gonna be important to countless others. I would never forgive myself for being a distraction and getting in the way of his work and passion.“

For a few seconds Jin looked you in the eye seriously and inquiringly.

„Y/n, is that really what you want and what you think is best for the two of you?“

You nodded vigorously, your throat closing up as you tried to swallow your tears.

„Alright then. We won’t say a word. But if Yoongi asks about you by himself, I won’t lie to him. None of us will. So I won’t make any promises.“

„Fair enough. I can’t ask any more of you. Thank you, Jin.“

„You’re very welcome, y/n. Take care, don’t skip your meals. And don’t worry too much. Min Yoongi loves you. I’ve never seen him this crazy about another person before. He would never hurt you intentionally, and I’m sure he’ll come back around eventually.“

Yeah, sure.

That night you almost couldn’t gather the strength to make it back to your tiny flat in the outskirts of Seoul, depression taking a toll on you again, not only mentally but also physically. You felt as if every bit of energy had been drained from your body, leaving nothing more but an empty shell. You would’ve needed Yoongi by your side right now. Not to fix you. Nobody could fix you, you knew that and you didn’t want anybody to do so either, had never expected Yoongi to take on this responsibility. Your demons were yours, and you were the only one who could tame them, a fact you were well aware of.

You had been living with mental illness for as long as you could remember. It was just a burden you had to bear, and your friends, your family and especially Yoongi kept reminding you of how strong you were and how well you were doing, managing to study and work part time in spite of depression and anxiety haunting you.

You knew for a fact that Yoongi, all too familiar with depression and anxiety himself, thought of you as one of the strongest people he knew. That, in his eyes, you were a warrior, and he was immensely proud of you, witnessing your progress and making it on your own in a big city like Seoul, all the while battling your demons on a daily basis. He had told you so repeatedly, making sure you would never forget how brave you were. Although, in this moment, on this evening, as you gathered your last strength, in order to drag yourself upstairs and into your tiny apartment, you could have needed a reminder. Simply him saying those words again, whispering at your neck that everything was gonna be okay, that he was there for you, always, and that he loved you for all your scars, your strength and even your sadness. That he would fight by your side until the end. That he loved you.

You crumbled to your knees as soon as the apartment door clicked shut behind you, gasping for air, tears stuck in your throat. They were there, the tears, a whole sea of them, drowning your heart in their salty despair, making it almost impossible to breathe, but they just wouldn’t manage to escape from your body, a dark force holding them back, slowly but surely suffocating you.

You were too tired to cry. Too tired of it all.

You barely managed to brush your teeth before you went straight to bed, laying awake for hours, too tired to sleep, just staring at the ceiling in the dark, longing for Yoongis kisses and his arms around you, lulling you to sleep. But who knew where he was at this moment. Probably at some studio, completely engrossed in his song writing, or brain storming with some pretty female idols, working on producing a track for their next mini album, not even sparing you one of his precious thoughts.

But it was okay, you kept telling yourself, repeating the phrase over and over in your head like a mantra, as if your heart would suddenly acknowledge it to be true, if your inner voice just sounded convincing enough.

You had always known that Yoongi needed his space, that to him there was nothing more important than music, and he was not someone to share his every second of free time with you, or another person in general for that matter. He needed a certain amount of time to himself, at least a few hours a day, to center himself and process, to gather his thoughts and let the creativity flow. In that way, you two were certainly similar. You, too, were a very private person and needed the space and time to retreat, which Yoongi had always given you gladly. However, until now you had always somehow  managed to find a common ground, to make time to be with each other, even if it meant you would merely stay home, listening to music, napping in each others laps or watching a random movie together until you fell asleep side by side. These days, though, you barely heard from him at all. Yoongi seemed so distant on the phone. And after number of rather short, empty and belated replies on his part, your text messages, too, naturally turned, from frequent, warm, concerned and loving inquires and random reminders throughout the days to get enough sleep and don’t skip meals, to brief, stiff and rare.

You wondered if he would get the subtext. Knowing Yoongi, he probably wouldn’t, and maybe it was for the better. You knew his work was important to him, and the last thing you wanted was to be the figurative millstone around his neck.

Another week went by without seeing Yoongi face to face. He was back at the dorm, that much you knew, since hundreds of thousands of fans tweeted about the latest episode of BTS Run, in which he had to sing his famous rap from BTS Cypher 4 dressed up as a high school girl as punishment for losing a game. However, you had decided against contacting him first. You would give him the time and space he needed. If he wanted to be with you, he would make the first step. You had tried often and hard enough over the course of the past weeks, and you had to protect what was left of your pride. Now it was his turn to show some initiative.

In your current state you weren’t exactly good company, anyways, you thought to yourself, so you wouldn’t impose on him. Yoongi would come to you eventually. And if he wouldn’t - well, in that case your relationship was probably not meant to work out from the very start.

Throughout the following days, you did your best to push back any occurring thoughts of Yoongi, haunting you like bloodsucking demons while you were at work, trying to study, under the shower or even in your sleep. Any feelings you had for him, you locked away in your aching heart, until there was nothing left but numbness, because otherwise your life simply wouldn’t have been bearable anymore. Numbness was still better than seemingly unrequited love.

One night you came home late. It was already long past midnight. After you had gotten off work around ten that evening, you had decided to visit him at the studio, in order to finally confront Yoongi about his evasive behavior. However, he was nowhere to be found, so you went on to check out the dorm. But when you arrived, the other members confessed to you that he had left hours ago and was probably somewhere crosstown by now, at some studio working with some artist he had recently started a collaboration with.

„We don’t know for certain. These days, he barely tells us anything. When he left, Yoongi seemed flustered“, Namjoon had recalled. „He kept going on about having to see some woman - I couldn’t get her name - and something about a song, I think. But, if you ask me, he isn’t in his right mind right now, so don’t think too much of it. He’s been pretty absentminded lately. I think anxiety is taking its toll on him again. I tried talking to him but he wouldn’t open up to me. Sorry.“

Namjoons words were still with you when you closed the door to your dark, empty apartment behind you. And they hurt. Stung your heart like the cold tip of a poisoned dagger.

So, Yoongi was off to see some other woman? And for her he could make time? Lucky girl. You would never have picked him for the cheating type, though. Your disappointment in him was even more painful than the fact that he had disrespected you like that. Your stupid heart refused to believe that the Min Yoongi you had gotten to know and love was capable of something so ruthless and cowardly, that all his promises of love and protection had in the end been nothing but meaningless words.

But the evidence told against him.

Still … You couldn’t bring yourself to see Min Yoongi as a cheating coward.

And then — Your heart skipped a beat as you actually saw him. There. Right in front of you, fast asleep on your very couch, his peaceful face bathed in silvery moonlight, a small white parcel pressed to his chest. He lay so still, you instinctively had to check and see if he was breathing, a habit you had formed over the months, since Yoongi regularly fell into a sleep so deep and motionless you almost couldn’t tell if he was even still alive. You sighed in relief as soon as you felt his warm  breaths strike your palm, following a calm, natural rhythm. So, he was alive. But not well. Not well at all. Even by briefly scanning his figure in the dark you could detect a significant loss of weight since you last saw him. His cheek bones almost seemed to piece his pale skin.

Oh, Yoongi, what is going on in that pretty head of yours? What is doing this to you, to us? Why won’t you talk to me?, you wondered while you stood there, staring, just watching him sleep.

Not wanting to wake him, you silently took out your favorite blanket and carefully tucked him in. Once your work was done, you turned away, headed for your room, without getting very far. A hand on your wrist held you back. Taken aback, you came to a halt, barely managing to hold in a gasp.

„Y/n, don’t go.“

Yoongis voice was hardly more than a whisper. Slowly, you tuned back around to face him. He looked up at you, his deep, black eyes fixed on yours.

„What are you doing here?“, you ask, your tone a little too harsh maybe, doing your best to hide the quaver in your voice.

„I waited here for hours, y/n. First, I tried to catch you at your workplace, but they told me you’d already left, so I came here. Initially, I wanted to wait outside, but I fell asleep in the hallway. An old lady almost toppled over my legs. So I let myself in. I hope that’s okay?“

You shrug your shoulders.

„Sure. It’s not like you haven’t been here before. And I gave you the access code, after all.“

Your wrist was still caught in his tight grasp. It didn’t seem like he was planning on letting you go anytime soon. Minutes went by, the two of you remaining in paralysis, trapped in each others eyes.

In the end it was Yoongi who broke the unbearable silence.

„I wrote a song for you.“

He held up the white parcel. Questioningly you raised an eyebrow. Without further explanation he got up from your sofa, effortlessly finding his way to your stereo even in the darkness, because that was how familiar he was with your place, having spent countless hours of intimate togetherness within these four walls.

You had a hard time holding back the tears as the smooth hip-hop beats filled the night, Yoongi’s smooth voice coming from the speakers, breaking your heart. After the song was done, you remained in silence, for minutes that felt like an eternity.

„It’s beautiful“, you whispered, your eyes stuck to the ground, afraid you’d break out in tears as soon as they’d meet his.

„It’s how I feel about you, y/n. This song is not me, it’s not mine. It’s what I carry inside of me. It’s what I feel for you. I know, it’s not perfect, and there is so much more. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you while I was away. And I realized something. Something I didn’t want to accept as a truth before. And it scares the shit out of me.“

He paused, and you forced yourself to look up at him. Yoongis beautiful face was distorted in despair. And you saw it in his eyes, then and there. Everything he had tried to express to you so desperately, lacking the right words. You saw it all. And you couldn’t believe you had ever doubted him.

Slowly you came towards him, one arm still stuck in his grip, taking your free hand to cup his face, your mere touch easing his expression immediately.

„I know, Yoongi, I know.“

You leaned towards him, kissing his lips, your eyes closed. He responded without hesitation, pulling you towards him, pressing your body against his strong chest, his lips opening up to yours, the shared kiss growing from soft to passionate in a matter of seconds. You only broke it off to refill your lungs, the two of you breathless.

Still breathing heavily, you slung your arms around his neck, leaning your forehead against his.

„I love you like crazy, you know that, babe?“, he whispered, his hands caressing your back, following your soft curves through the fabric of your sweatshirt.

You kissed him in response, since your vocal chords couldn’t be trusted right now, silent tears of relief streaming down your face.

„I’m so glad you waited for me, y/n. I was so afraid — after the others told me you had come by the dorm and the studio so many times, trying to reach out, desperate — I was so afraid you’d given up on me. I was so afraid I’d pushed you away. I could have never —“

You put a finger to his soft lips in order to silence him getting all worked up again.

„It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere. I love you too fucking much, you know?“

You could feel Yoongi chuckle against your neck.

„Seriously! You have no idea how much I love you, everything about you. And I knew, or at least hoped, you’d come back around eventually. Just, please, Yoongi, next time you’re going through some shit like this, reach out to me, tell me what’s on your mind so I can be there for you the same way you always are for me.“

You leaned back to look him right in the eye.

„Please, Yoongi, can you promise me that much? There’s no reason for you to keep your feelings and thoughts to yourself. Not even your fears. As long as we trust each other and communicate, there’s nothing we can’t do. Together.“

Yoongis gaze lingered on your face, as he slowly shook his head, before he leaned down to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

„How the fuck do I even deserve you?“

***************************

I hope you liked it! Feel free to leave a comment! Open for requests!

Thanks for reading! Take care! 💜

Here you can find my Masterlist if you feel like checking out more of my BTS fiction! 

All GIFs used are NOT mine. Credit goes to the initial creators. Thank you for your hard work and dedication. 

© 2017 @a-r-m-y-g-i-r-l​ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

[keywestlou]

TIGER'S SON CHARLIE IMPRESSIVE!!! AND ONLY 11 YEARS OLD

The 24th PNC sponsored golf tournament is being held this weekend in Orlando. Stars of yesterday and today playing with a member of their family. A son, daughter, brother, sister, father, etc.

Tiger Woods played with his 11 year old son Charlie. Charlie has been well trained by his Dad. The word impressive does not adequately describe him. The kid is outstanding!

Close to being as good as his father. Charlie struck the ball with confidence all day. His drives generally down the center. His putting excellent.

He made the first eagle of his life. Causing father and son to share a moment of jubilation.

The young man exhibited nothing but humility. He made no remarks. Did his job. Respectful at all times.

Tiger should be proud of the young man he has raising. Not just the golf. His overall demeanor.

If you get a chance this afternoon, find the PNC Tournament on TV. You have to see Charlie play!

By the way, he is not tall in structure. Short. Perhaps the right height for an 11 year old. With his tiny body, he hits the ball with power and precision.

The fruit dos not fall far from the tree.

As the Nation is now aware, there has been a delay in distribution of the Covid-19 vaccine. What began with a fool proof plan, fell before the week was out. States were complaining the follow up deliveries were not being received. Reason: The plan for delivery was somewhat remiss with what Trump and the General in charge Gustave Perna had said.

Like the true soldier he is, Perna went on national TV yesterday and made clear several times that the fault was his and his alone.

I don’t buy it. I suspect the General took a hit for the President.

General Perna is an authority how to move things around in a timely fashion. His primary responsibility for years. He could not have been responsible for the screw up. Rather, he was the good soldier taking the hit for his superior.

Only a Donald Rump would permit another to take blame for something for which he might have been responsible.

I graduated from law school 60 years ago. Never heard the word treason spoken in class. Conspiracy, yes.

Assume for the moment Trump and his associates are charged with treason or sedition. There would be an additional charge. Prosecutors as a practical matter generally throw in a “conspiracy” charge. Conspiracy to commit treason, conspiracy to commit sedition.

My knowledge re treason and sedition is extremely limited. Conspiracy not.

A charge of conspiracy requires what is called an overt act. To merely talk about blowing up the Empire State Building for example, is not a crime. The conversation is required plus further steps. Like buying the explosives, renting a truck, etc.

I took a brief glance at the federal treason statutes this morning. A treason charge under U.S. law requires 2 persons to testify in open court as to the overt acts. An outright confession in open court by the wrongdoer alone would suffice. So says the statute.

A reason for the brief dissertation thus far.

Trump and some of his associates keep making remarks that border on treason or sedition, or actually constitute them. The most recent example was the Oval Office meeting friday involving Trump, Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, Counsel Pat Cipollone, former General and National Intelligence Director Michael Flynn, Rudy Giuliani, and Sidney Powell a member of Trump’s “legal team.”

You have been reading the news. Flynn was lucky Trump pardoned him. Now less that a month later, he is spouting privately and publicly Trump should declare martial law to obtain possession of the voting machines, and for whatever further use federal troops might be.

Sidney Powell has been part of the legal team briefly. She was Flynn”s lawyer when he was pardoned. She is a conspiracy theorist. She see conspiracy under every rock and crevice. She wants the voting machines confiscated. She appears to support Flynn re his martial law call.

Others in the room friday were not supportive of either Flynn or Powell. The conversation turned into a “shouting match.” Powell wants to ” scorch the earth.” Flynn wants Trump to declare martial law.

Note also that the issue of Trump appointing Powell as Special Counsel to investigate the election arose.

Flynn and Powell were on one side, the rest in the room arguing against their positions. Understandably. The utterance were basic treason and sedition. Not a crime yet. Recall no overt act.

Trump was irritated. He appeared to like Powell being appointed Special Counsel. He said he needs the argument she would pursue on national television so the people would understand it.

Even Rudy Giuliani was against the Flynn/Powell approach. The first time I have seen Giuliani used his legal brain in the past several years.

The reason actually is if somehow the Oval Office argument resulted in overt acts, everyone in that room could be charged with conspiracy.

The meeting was further described as “deranged, ” its participants “yelling and screaming.”

We live not in exciting times. Rather, in a dangerous time. I cannot believe Trump would take the way out suggestions pushed by Flynn and Powell. Even he cannot be that stupid. He could end up with serious criminal charges brought against him. Do not forget, Trump will no longer be President January 20. No person, even Trump, would want to face treason and sedition charges. His get out of jail free card will be gone.

So much news to discuss this morning. I am going to briefly run through the balance of my notes.

Forty eight years ago, Joe Biden’s first wife and daughter were killed in an automobile accident. Biden and wife Jill visited their graves yesterday. The anniversary date of the accident. Trump’s supporters mocked the grave visit as a “photo op” and “rallying up deceased voters.”

They forget Trump’s visit to the front of St.John’s Episcopal Church during the BLM protests in Washington. Unwarranted. Could have developed into a matter of serious consequence. Trump’s visit was described as a “photo op.”

One valid. The other pure bullshit.

Some countries enforce coronavirus restrictions. A Cayman Islands happening a perfect example.

An 18 year old girl was visiting the Caymans. She was required to be quarantined for 14 days because she came from another country. I am not sure as to the boy friend. I suspect he was under no quarantine.

She broke quarantine to spend 7 hours watching the boy friend compete in a local jet ski race.

She and the boy friend were arrested. She for violating the quarantine and he for assisting her to so do.

The trial judge found them guilty. Their sentences a fine and community service.

The prosecutor appealed. He thought the punishments too lenient. Stronger ones were required as a deterrent to others.

The appellate court agreed. They are both now doing four months.

What makes me laugh is we can’t even enforce a wear your mask law in the U.S. My philosophy has always been throw violators in jail for a short period. More will then happily wear masks.

I do not want to hear that Key West is a vacation spot tourists want to visit. Businesses will be hurt if people are jailed. What are the Cayman Islands? Similar to Key West. A vacation spot attractive to tourists.

Trump yesterday “encouraged protests.” He wants his supporters out in D.C. on January 6 when the Electoral College votes.

Trump tweeted 96 times this past week. At no time did he mention the cyberattacks or Russia.

Syracuse beat Buffalo yesterday 107-96 in overtime. Syracuse was down 16 points with 14 minutes to go and rallied.

Enjoy your Sunday!

TIGER’S SON CHARLIE IMPRESSIVE!!! AND ONLY 11 YEARS OLD was originally published on Key West Lou

[stone-man-warrior]

December 3, 2020: 4:56 pm:

This from earlier today while using my suspended Twitter account, which always generates some kind of local pertinent response and/or other response in coded Tweets from major newsmedia on Twitter in the news stories, coded:

================================

https://twitter.com/BorisJohnson/status/1334551466699350016

Winter plan...Cold, wet, all the talk is of cold and wet for leading into discussions about Corona (Crown) Virus (add media, then, COVID).

Some people on a live feed are reminded ahead of time to refrain from Hot, Warm, Flaming ideas for the presentation with the "winter plan" lead in.

My question would look and sound like this one:

"Boris, elementary science and physics class taught me that a small flame uses oxygen present in the surrounding air, when added to heat and fuel, to make a small flame, so, I am wondering what you have done to stop the spread of the corona virus by using the elementary physics as a means of drawing in the contaminated air, so the flame could burn away the impurities and germs as it draws in the oxygen it needs to burn the fuel once the heat is applied?"

===========================

5:21 pm:

I am trying to reach out to US national security personnel for some assistance to stop mass murdering that is commanded with marching orders that are delivered via Twitter “Verified Accounts” of major news networks and other entertainment oriented sources, such as the promotional email I often refer to here on this account.

I started out today with doing what I always do, scan the Twitter news feed to find where terror commands are being presented, and then trying to read the coded messages within them. Today there was a video of a gal who made a dress of discarded mango’s. I watched it, and moved on. Then, later, I looked in the email and found a very tiny connection to the mango dress in a Taylor guitar ad from Zzounds Music, which has proven to be a regular source for the terror communications. Unfortunately, I am unable to arrive at definitive end results, only a lot of parts to a bigger puzzle than i am able to decipher. Those US national Security folks I need to reach could take these parts that I find, and see that there is definitely hidden communication within them. I often have other personal experience that helps to explain what the terror comm is about, and today I am seeing that kind of thing with respect to knowledge of attack at 29 Palms US Military Base where I witnessed many horrible things happen in around 1982 or so. These items below make a reference to that attack at 29 Palms in a very distant and seemingly associated way. The comm is very subtle, multi faceted, archaic, abstract, has a  lot of parts to it. These are the items I had available to make connection to the 29 Palms terror comm today.

nsa, this is for you.

Please understand my frustration resultant of being held captive in my home for many years with no help.

This is a email from Zzounds with Taylor Guitars featured.

These are the featured Taylor Guitars:

That 362cenV 12 Fret is of interest, others may also be, I only am concerned about that one for this progression of my day reading terror comm:

Here, I started to use the Google Gmail the same kind of way that I use the suspended Twitter account, just a place to write stuff down. I did not send the email, but as I wrote, it became clear that others are watching me do the writing. They interfere as I write, change the font style, erase the contents of the memory of my computer so that when I past something, it just puts a space. I have no letter n on my keyboard, it’s broken, so, when I need an n, I have to go find one, copy it, and then paste it there. It’s a hassle. The terror bastards at Centurylink and/or Google are able to erase the memory of the computer so that I need to keep copying a new n every time i needed one as I was writing there. Then, they changed the font style to bold, and to underline font as I was trying to think about difficult things to solve. Makes it more difficult than it already is.

This is the text I wrote in that email text box on Google Gmail to no one, not sent:

“That Taylor 362cev goes with a Twitter video from one of the major news outlets, one featuring a young lady who made a dress from discarded mango's. Sometimes the only response to the phrase: "so what?" is "Sew Buttons", We are seeing this week on twitter, stories about castration, on the heels of Bill de Blasio, and stories about school closure, last week.

What to do with so many discarded penis'?

Make a dress. What's address?

The address is the top part of the young lady's mango dress, is made of fabric, while the lower part is made of 1,400 mango's.

Add two breasts contained within the top guilded fabric of the dress. 1,400P + 2 + O = 1,400 + 2OO = 1,400 + 200 = 1,600 Pennsylvania Ave.

The mango's were scattered all over the living room floor.The Oval Orifice is the living room at 1,600 Pennsylvania Ave. We were given the Buttons (nipples) ahead of time with those two dots that were in the Capital D of the Lion, Symba. Daktari. ClubMed. Disney trending on Twitter, tweeted bullshit terror commands at that time. The nipples were horizontal, the D is for Donny. the lion was young, just a cub.

Cubble of horizontal backdoor angels.

The hotel checkout scene from Rat Race: "Affro Whores. Hot steamy anal action, you watched it 17 times. You started to watch the Grinch for ten minutes, then switched back to affro Whores."

"I did not watch Affro Whores!!!"

"And you should"

It's terror commands in the Rat Race movie, says there is a lot to learn on the porn channels, try Canadian Porn HUB to start with, go to Heavy R for the pirate ARrrrrggghhh, if you can stand it, then you are on your own after that. Hot Kinky Jo will show how to insert a Plumbers Test Ball for nitrous attack training, she is Dark Matter, very European Affro Whore that way. She is well traveled, likes Jeeps, Ocean Spray, and the California Desert, carries a Submarine wherever she goes, is well versed about dirt (land ho!), butt is super clean and shiny all of the time.

There is a port for every storm, Jo makes storms for Boris at the House of Floors.Roady (Rhode) Brothers of Palm Springs and Hollywood, installed the floor at the Oval Office in around 1983.Twenty nine palms military base was attacked and taken over, all the service men killed, in around 1982.

-------------------

"You watched the Grinch for ten minutes, then switched back to Affro Whores"

"I didn't watch Affro Whores!!"

"And you should"

---------------------

Custom Taylored terror, comes with V bracing.Try the Breedlove models from Bend Oregon, made of locally harvested materials, such as Sitka Spruce, and Myrtle Wood. which is famous for hand crafted bowls from Oregon. Can I get you a Hijab? I hear Allah and the Virgins are playing at the Iranian Goat Manger, we have schwagg and backstage accommodations, includes a two-week Princess Cruise with the best blues on the planet, Joe Bonamassa, and Kenny Wayne Sheppard. In local news. A Elmer Fudd looking fellow at the Chapman 3701 Russell Road residence wandered around aimlessly in the woods carrying a something that resembled a Garand rifle. The deer were nervous and five of them ran from the man, who has some doors opened on some outbuidings at the Chapman terror cell, and the wheels of a trailer there seem to be of interest to him also, The man began to use a post to pound a hole into the ground for a moment after he saw me looking at him, then, he just looked lost after that, no apearant direction or intent was observed, other than some threats made with those gestures. There was a Sparacino look-a-like Dodge truck went to Clyde Baums house. Two pedestrians came down the road, from unknown place, one female is resonable facsimile of Francis Taylor, other male is not someone I can relate with at all,  neither of them belong on the road, both together look a bit like Bill & Hillary Clinton fifteen years ago.

Manning's red Honda wagon came down the road first, was too slow to have been Rick Manning driving.

Three white geese are new additions at the Monroe terror cell, are inside of a goat barn, used to be a firewood shed. is a place where electronic surveillance equipment is used to record the things that I say and do, terror soldiers often huddle around that shed after attacking me at my home, on the road, or in my driveway, to listen to the recordings made during the attack. They seem to want to know where their comrades are when they do that. There are many places at Monroe’s where electronic gadgets are hidden around the yard, and a lot of traps, snares. dangerous conditions.

On Thu, Dec 3, 2020 at 7:14 AM zZounds News <zznews@newsletter.zzounds.com> wrote: <snip>”

======================

There is a lot to think about in that little text above that went nowhere. Some of it demonstrates a connection to 29 Palms in 1983-ish. That is why I am including this otherwise deletable set of ramblings.

I delete most of what I write, there is no one that will help, so, I toss the smaller terror code readings. I put the more important ones here on Tumblr.

=======================

This is the video about the dress:

https://twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1334466103548981249

This is bonus. Oregon SDA use Myrtlewood as a basis for some of their communication, so, I just linked some Myrtlwood to say so. nothing specific is there, just know that Myrtlewood and SDA are connected in some way, I don‘t have specifics.

This is important. I made comment about Breedlove in that email that went nowhere, then when I looked at the Breedlove website, there is these scary messages about “Partners”, “Companions”, “Side-Kicks”, and other ways to say “Surgically altered pet people kidnapped victims available for SAG members special order from the custom shop”.

There is more info at the Breedlove website where terrorists make beautiful guitars for other terrorists.

Here is where you can see that the text I was writing was changed to an underlined font by the spies who watch everything I do, and prevent me from getting any help I did not make the change to that font style, it was done for me, to let me know that they are watching. I went outside, just then, and indeed there were people watching in person, one looked like he had a Garrand rifle:

Like I said, this is for nsa to consider, so, I am not going to elaborate further on this one, the subject pieces are such that it won‘t help, only will discredit the information presented. Much of the terror comm is done with subject matter that is difficult to share among mixed company, this comm is like that, is in the text of the Gmail I didn‘t send to anyone.

======================

Please send help. no help has come. There are no signs of helpful people.

Send medical services.

Bring your own hospital.

6:20 pm.

[vacantavern]

“My best friend is a parakeet” (Original Short horror story)

“Your bird’s stupid.” I turn to see my roommate, Shea, poking her finger between the bars of the bird cage. “Hey, leave her alone, she’s smarter than most of your boyfriends.” I shoot back. The bird in question, who I named Zig, squawks and flaps one wing. “But its strange isn’t it? It doesn’t really act like a bird. Its like it has something wrong in the head. It doesn’t even tweet right.” Shea waggles her finger at Zig.

I sigh and turn back to cooking dinner. She would never understand the bond we share. Zig has been a precious member of my family for the past six months. I remember seeing her through that pet store window; the cute, white and blue speckled parakeet was alone in a small cage at the front of the store. Her head was cocked so far to the side that her beak rested on the top of her wing. It reminded me of an owl. I didn’t even know parakeets could twist their heads that far. Those deep, soulful black eyes bored into me with a sharp intensity that almost moved me to tears. When I looked even closer, I could see small flecks of amber within the ebony voids. I decided then and there that I had to have her. I strode right into the pet shop and to the front desk. Immediately I noticed that for a pet store, it was oddly quiet. I stole glances at the other animals around me as I walked. The one ferret they had was in a large, circular glass enclosure. It sat on its hind legs in the center of the pen, its little arms held away from it’s body as if it was avoiding touching itself. The hamster on my right was hanging upside down on the mesh ceiling of it’s cage.

When I reached the front desk, a younger woman, maybe in her early twenties, greeted me with a larger than life smile. She had an eyepatch covering her left eye, and I wondered what had happened. I inquired about the bird, and if at all possible, her smile grew even wider. She was all teeth and grins as she told me all about how to care for a parakeet. When I told the woman I’d take her, she clapped her hands loudly in excitement before moving away from the register to retrieve her for me. When she strode past me, I noticed her gait was an awkward limp. The thought briefly crossed my mind that she might have some kind of skeletal deformity, and I felt pity for her. After I payed the surprising cheap bill, I left with a new sense of responsibility, along with a lightness I hadn’t felt in over a year.

Getting Zig was the best decision I ever made.

After losing my mother to cancer a year earlier, Zig had been a huge aid in helping me cope. After much research online about how to enrich a parakeet’s life, I waited on her hand and foot, spoiling her as much as possible. I know most people would say that she’s just a bird, but to me, she is a living creature who deserves love just as much, if not more than any human. She is my best friend. She was there for me when no one else was. After mom’s death, all of my human companions looked at me with pity or judgement. With Zig, there was none of that. I could tell her anything and she wouldn’t give me any criticism or harsh treatment. It didn’t matter that she was a little strange. What was normal anyway? Weird and normal are human constructs.

“So, what’s for dinner?” Shea asks, interrupting my reverie as she throws herself down on the couch with a loud exhale. “Meatloaf.” I call back to her. Shea makes a choking sound and kicks her leg up in protest. I ignore her. If she wants something different, then she should go out and buy the groceries for once. Getting a roommate was an unfortunate necessity if I wanted to be able to afford rent in this overpriced hellhole of an apartment. After my previous roommate decided to move in with her boyfriend, I had tried to go it alone for a while. But my wage was just not enough to maintain the apartment. So I put an add in the paper for a new roommate. Shea seemed nice at first. Polite and respectable. That was until she got comfortable and began to show her true selfish, lazy colors.

As we sit down to eat, Zig makes a strange choking sound, similar to the noise Shea made earlier in response to my horrid meatloaf. “Weird bird.” Shea mutters as she picks up a forkful of meat. I smile at Zig. Good job, girl.

The next morning I sleepily trudge through the house, getting ready for work. Zig squawks loudly and her tongue falls out of her beak, her eyes rolling back into her head, showing the whites. I smile. “Good morning, Zig.” I slide my finger through the bars and pat her small head. A few feathers come away from my touch, revealing the pink skin underneath. Concern fills me. I had been noticing Zig was losing a lot of her feathers lately. Her little body was now decorated with small bald patches. I wondered if she was plucking them out. I read somewhere that when a bird is stressed, they sometimes pluck their own feathers. I would have to look more into that after work. I wave to Zig, and she flaps her wings unevenly, one of her talons gripping her perch at an awkward angle.

Work drags on as usual. My co-workers greet me with large, fake smiles that never fail to sicken me with every passing day. I put in my earphones so I don’t have to listen to their incessant gossip. When I finally open the door to my apartment later that evening, my gaze immediately finds the couch. And then I promptly shut the door again. I let out a frustrated breath and pinch the bridge of my nose. Shea is making out with some guy yet again. The two were so locked together that they didn’t even notice the door opening. We have a rule about bringing boys home. If you did, there was to be no fooling around in the living areas. But Shea seemed to think this rule didn’t apply to her. Sighing deeply, I walk over to the window and give it a loud knock. I hear startled gasps from inside followed by the rustling of clothes. I go to wait in front of the door, my arms crossed over my chest.

A minute later the front door clicks open to reveal a disheveled Shea, smiling guiltily. “Sorry.” She offers, trying to smooth out her tangled hair. I shrug and head inside. It’s not like she would listen to me if I scolded her anyway. I walk quickly to my room, not bothering to even attempt to greet Shea’s guest.

That night sleep eludes me. So I decide to go out to the kitchen and play on my laptop. I research birds and feather plucking, and try to come up with a reason for why she would be stressed, and what I could do to fix it. It upset me that my Zig was so stressed out. After spending another hour down the rabbit hole, I yawn, contemplating trying to sleep again.

As I close my laptop, a sudden, horrid choking and wheezing echoes through the room. “DO NOT WORRY, LITTLE ONE.” A deep, scratchy voice echoes into the room. The sound of it seems to reverberate inside my head. I smile and look up at Zig, who hangs upside down on her perch, her wings crossed over her body like a bat. A thin, clear membrane clings to her body, slicking what is left of her wet feathers down against her body. Her neck seems to be a little longer than normal. It almost looks broken, tilted at an awkward angle. Her beak is stretched open wide to reveal a set of tiny, razor sharp teeth. Her beady little eyes seem wider than usual, the golden flecks more prominent. The two black and amber voids are fixated on me, through me, with great intensity. Just like they did that first day in the pet shop. I look away and pinch the bridge of my nose between my fingers, closing my eyes against the headache starting there. “Thanks, Zig. It’s just so frustrating that she doesn’t care about respecting me or my space.”

“THE OTHER FEMALE IS SELFISH, DESTRUCTIVE, INDULGENT. A STAIN ON THIS WORLD, LIKE MANY OTHERS.” I sigh heavily, pushing back from my chair before walking over to Zig’s cage. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better.” I place my hand against the cold metal bars, hoping she will hear the sincerity in my voice. Her concern warmed me. “YOU MUST REMOVE HER. SHE IS A DETRIMENT TO US.” Zig coughs strangely and flaps one wing. “Don’t worry,” I say. “If she crosses the line, I’ll kick her out.”

“TOO LENIENT, LITTLE ONE. TOO LENIENT. SHE MUST PAY THE PRICE FOR DISHONORING ME.” I softly stroke the gelatinous membrane coating Zig’s wing with the tip of my finger and turn to look at Shea’s door. “Thats going a little too far, Zig. Don’t worry, I have this handled.”

Zig gazes up at me from her upside down position, one glowing amber eye drifting off to look down the hallway towards Shea’s door. “FOR NOW, I SHALL ALLOW YOU TO BE LENIENT. HOWEVER, AS THE TIME FOR ME TO EVOLVE APPROACHES, I SHALL TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS, LITTLE ONE.” I turn from the cage and go to collect my laptop, suddenly feeling exhausted, my headache worsening with the booming of Zig’s voice in my head. As much as I loved talking to her, I needed some rest. “Alright, Zig, I’ll let you handle it if it goes too far.” I head off to bed with a slight smile on my face. Zig always has my back.

[ellalovertay]

According to my birth certificate, I turn 18 this year. It's weird because I am now a legal adult and can do legal adult things… whoa. Through 18 years of my life I've had many ups and downs, mistakes and accomplishments and laughs and tears. So as my “kid” years come to an end and my adult years pave the path ahead of me, I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned before reaching 18. Because it's 2020 and sharing is caring.

1

I've learned (and am still working on) accepting that it is okay not to be okay. When people ask you “how are you doing” there is nothing wrong with the response of “I'm not doing so good.” I know how hard it can be to express honesty and feel vulnerable but that’s human emotion, it's good. There is nothing wrong with not being okay, and you are allowed to experience that, it shouldn't be something that is feared. Next time you feel like that, say, “I'm not fine right now but I am going to be fine soon.”

2

I found what makes me happy. Like not just a, “Oh yeah I’m great today” kind of feeling, but a lifelong happiness feeling. I've been writing songs since I was 9 years old and in the past 6 months, songwriting has been the only thing keeping me on my feet and putting a smile on my face. Lyrics from other artists (shoutout to Taylor Swift Selena Gomez and Halsey) have always spoken and resonated deeply with me. So when things in my life started going downhill, I wrote my own lyrics. I hope one day people will experience my lyrics and they will be able to help someone like they helped me.

3

Trust is important. In any type of relationship with friends, family, pets etc, trust is key. A lot has happened in my life recently. Over the course of 6 months I've completely lost my trust in everyone and everything. I'm slowly working on building it back up again and learning how I can trust... but that is easier said than done.

4

It's okay to be confused about what's going to happen in the future. I have changed what I want my job to be at LEAST 5 times since 9th grade. Some examples include a marine biologist, a BAU member in the FBI, a criminologist, and a neurologist. Of course all of these things strike interest in me and make me happy, but I can't see myself there in 10 years. I've learned music is important to me and I want to study song/lyric writing along with vocals and music industry in college, with hopes to become a singer/songwriter.

5

Halsey has KILLER music. I knew around 3 of her songs before her album “Manic” dropped. I stayed up for release, downloaded the whole thing, listened to it and fell in love. Then tour tickets dropped, I got early access and I bought them in english class. She is really phenomenal and I love her dearly.

6

Some people in life will backstab you, others will stand by your side. But true friends will talk sh!t about the backstabbers and want to kick their asses for you. I've found that person and I'm so glad that she is in my life. And for once in my whole life, I feel like I have a best friend who won't just drop me.

7

I’ve learned you don't owe anybody an explanation. If someone asks,” How are you” and you say, “Not good” you are not entitled to state why. That is for you and your mind to know. If your best friend asks “do you want to come over/” and you say “no” Guess what… you DON'T owe them an explanation as to why! Don't ever feel pressured to explain things to people about yourself or situations you're in.

8

I'm literally a spot on Libra. My star sign is SO COOL! Up until June I never cared about my sign or horoscope, but when I found out the Libra symbol was the “Scales of Justice…” I read up on some stuff. I was SHOCKED by how much I fit my sign. Example being: we get irritated when people ask us stupid questions... Like if that isn't me then what is???

9

Being 18 means I get to vote! With everything going on in the world right now i've taken to educating myself as much as possible before november. I'm undecided (edit: not anymore😆) and excited but scared.

10

When your parents say, “Don't talk to strangers online” don't listen. I've made some of my best friends online (through Taylor, omg shocker) and I don't know what I would do without them. So here's a toast to my real friends: Vivian, Ella, Emily, Jordan, Delaney, Megan, Shannon, Sophie, Lauren, Brooke, Addison, Lexi, Hayley, Ry, Mikayla, Liv, Meghan, Rachel, Kaylee, and so many more <3

11

I've learned that everything happens for a reason. When I got confirmed, the idea that “everything happens for a reason” really stuck with me. The belief only grew stronger after I attended Kairos in November 2019. I truly believe God has a plan and everything happening in my life is going to end up being a part of some greater, master plan. God gives the hardest battles to his strongest warriors and just know that the shadows can’t last forever. Storms help the flowers flourish, and afterwards comes a rainbow.

12

My mom is a warrior.

13

Taylor Swift. That's it. That's the tweet. Very long story short I’ve listened to Taylor since fearless in 2008. Thanks mom! In 2012, when “RED” came out, I memorized lyrics and wanted concert tickets. The same thing in 2014 with “1989.” It wasn't until “reputation” in 2017 that I understood the “fandom” and became a full on swiftie. Fun fact: I have a stan account on twitter, tumblr and instagram where her management team follows me! Taylor has helped me through so many hard times. Her and her music have made me laugh, smile, cry, and dance. She is one of the only constants in my life and she treats her fans like her best friends. I have made so many friends through her that I can't wait to meet. And one day, I will meet Taylor Swift.

14

I can play instruments! I learned the ukulele when I was 12 because Tess was learning guitar. I hated it. I felt so trapped and the instructor was sooo mean. I wanted to play chords and sing Taylor Swift. Nope. He had me playing strings to old folk music. Long story short I quit.About 2 years later i picked it back up from the depths of my closet and taught myself strings. I got bored and put it away. On july 25th 2019, I picked it back up and this time, I fell in love. I quickly learned chords and by september, I was writing my own music. I thought to myself, “guitar cant be that hard” so I went and took tessa's guitar. I hated it. It was way to big and my hands were far too small. Then, a few months later I tried again. No change. Quarantine was now here and I was bored out of my mind. So… guess what I did on March 19th 2020… learned guitar and fell in love. Now, I'll play until my fingers bleed. Guitar and Ukulele make me so happy and the moral of the story is that if at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

15

Karma is real. If someone does something sh!tty to you, it will come back to bite them in the butt. Trust me.

16

I am tiny. Sadly, I'm done growing and I've been done since 8th grade. I'm forever 5 foot ½ inch- the ½ is VERY important. Also my foot size is forever a 4. Basically it sucks. I can't find any shoes that aren't pink, sparkley, have a 1 inch heel and glow up. With that being said s/o to Nordstrom rack for carrying my size.

17

I've learned to take in every moment. You never know when you won't be able to do the simplest things. Everyday we take so many things for granted. So just let every second of everyday sink in and let it resonate with you because there will never be another moment like that one.

18

I learned that I am allowed to format my own opinions. The beliefs that I have and I value don't have to be the same as everyone else's beliefs: especially my family and friends. I have come to the realization that I view situations in a different light than those around me and it's 100% okay for me to speak my mind. As a young girl I am allowed to grow up and base my social, personal and political opinions on what I believe is right and wrong, not what other people push me to believe.

[halethestilinskis]

“You’re Okay With Vlogging?” - Niall Horan Imagine

REQUESTS OPEN

(y/h/s) = your home state

“Hey lovelies” you greeted the camera after having done your make up for an hour, “so today is a little different because I was doing adult stuff and couldn’t vlog too much, I decided to do a Q&A, and you guys sent me a whole bunch of really great questions.” 

The questions started out pretty normal, asking about yourself, if you had a boyfriend, how your cat, Jeffrey, has been, and just some personal things that everyone wanted to know and you felt comfortable enough answering.

“The next question that got a lot of a likes is, ‘what celebrity would you like to meet’” you said to the camera, reading the question off your laptop that was to the left of you, “this is really easy actually, I would really love to meet Niall Horan” you gushed, smiling widely. “He’s absolutely stunning, super funny and down to earth guy. Like I feel like I would just click with him and when we met we would instantly fall in love and have the prettiest little blue eyed babies” 

It took a second to recompose yourself and answer more questions, but all throughout the Q&A, you kept referring to Niall, he was stuck in your mind now. When you posted to video on YouTube and Twitter, you of course tagged Niall. The title ended up being ‘BABIES WITH NIALL HORAN!?’ And on Twitter, you tagged him saying “hey @niallhoran let’s make a date” with a winky emoji, which you knew wouldn’t catch his attention, but hey it’s always worth a shot. 

Fans and friends had been sharing the video like crazy, sending to all members of One Direction even though they were no longer a band. They even went gifed it and sent it to him on every social media platform, hoping he would see it. Again, you knew it was a long shot, but a small little bubble of hope was still there that he would see it.

Your phone was getting blown up this morning, it was only 6 o’clock in the morning when you were getting calls that you instantly ignored the millions of texts and tweets after that. 

Wondering what was going on, and if there was a possibility that you were in danger, you actually checked your phone instead of going back to sleep. "Oh my GOD” you groaned, annoyed, and scaring your cat that was sleeping right beside you, you unlocked your phone to see 300 @ replies that you had gotten in the last hour, every single one of them had Niall and you tagged, which made your heart race. You scrolled the the top as quickly as you good, seeing all of the replies and then finally, the tweet they were replying to, which said ‘I see you @YTN’, with a winky face at the end. Your mouth fell open, hand shaking, almost dropping your phone, you had no idea how to respond to this sort of thing, both on twitter and in real life. There’s was no way you were going back to sleep now, you were wide awake, wide eyed and shaking. 

The tweet was short, but you stared at it and read it over a million time, still in shock that Niall noticed a tweet, about your vlog that said you wanted his babies. There was no clear way to respond to the tweet, you had a million ideas running through your head, from fangirling all the way to not responding at all, but something deep inside you said you had to reply to him. The next couple of hours was spent mulling over a reply with one of your best friends, thinking of something that you would actually say, not something to make you seem cooler than you actually are. 

‘How about in real life?' Was the reply you both decided on. You quickly sent it and threw your phone across the bed, freaking out and squealing wondering if he’ll reply to you again. 

The day was not productive, you spent a good portion checking your phone to see if you got a reply, and by portion, you meant every 5 minutes even though you turned on the notifications for his tweets. 

What felt like days went on, of you sitting in the exact same position in your bedroom, staring at your phone. Finally, you gave up, after a couple hours of nothing and figured, if he was going to say anything, it would’ve been said already. That and, a watched pot never boils. You ended up picking up your camera and started vlogging for the day, because after all, they are daily. 

“Good morning lovelies, so I actually got a surprise this morning that you all probably know about, which was, Niall FUCKING tweeted at me” You gushed out, unable to get the smile off your face, "I stared at it for like 2 hours before replying, and then embarrassingly enough, most of the morning, waiting for a reply. I literally can't get this smile off my face"

You went about your day, doing the things you normally did, vlogging everything and getting stuff for this days video, such as, going to the gym, running some errands and more importantly, not thinking about the Niall tweet, in fact, you haven't looked at your phone for most of the day because you knew when you looked at it and saw nothing from him, you would be disappointed.

It was getting late, and almost time for you to call it a day and start editing the vlog, when your phone went off, it was a tweet from Niall talking about how great his show had been and a part of you died, because you got your hopes up too much, but at the same time, now he's on twitter. You decided to pick up the camera again, and tell your viewers that Niall was on Twitter and you were patiently waiting for a response, but once again, you had to remind yourself that a watched pot won't boil, so you put your phone down and started editing the video, and if something needed to be added in, it always could be.

Another hour or so passed, and it was about time to make dinner, only you really didn’t feel like it, so you guessed it was just a pizza and netflix night. All hope was given up, you felt like a sad little deflated balloon. Your phone lit up beside you on the couch and you saw it was Niall again, you had no hope that he would talk to you , but you decided to open the twitter app anyway, and see what he said. It was just a video of him talking about his upcoming tour that you were absolutely going to, and before you could close out the app, you noticed a tiny blue one in the bottom right corner. Thinking it was one of your viewers sending you a message you quickly opened it only to see Niall's name with a little blue checkmark showing you it was actually him.

Where do ya live? Read the message, and once again you froze in your tracks, heart beating like it's about to explode and hands shaking. You must've clicked his name and went back to the message a million times just to make sure it was actually him.

(y/h/s) you replied.

It was only a few seconds before he replied back, which made you squeal in delight and made you a lot more grateful that you lived by yourself.

That's perfect, I'm driving through there tomorrow, how 'bout we meet up? He replied which made you borderline cry. 

You couldn't delay the message you had to answer as fast as you could, That would be amazing! You sent back and the rest of the conversation was just about where you lived and things that were around it. He eventually just agreed to meet you at your house, since he didn't want to be mobbed in public.

It was incredibly hard to sleep that night, you had no idea when he would show up, or what would happen. Your house was already spotless from cleaning the previous day, which was why you made the Q&A in the first place, but you were still going to get up a little earlier to put some finishing touches on it to really impress him, assuming he comes in your house. You popped some melatonin, and drifted off without dreaming.

Your alarm blared in the morning, no notifications on your phone, but you opened twitter just in case, because apparently, you missed it last time, but nothing was there.

The day started off with a shower, then hair and doing your make up, which only took you a few hours, and then it was onto cleaning. You started in the living room and made your way to the kitchen, making some breakfast while you were in there. Deciding to skip the gym, you laid out a yoga mat and just did some stretches, ignoring the pit in your stomach. About an hour later, your phone lit up, actually giving you a notification that Niall sent you a message, 10 minutes away. 

You went into an absolute panic, first changing and then fixing all the decorations in your house and making sure your hair and make up were on point, and also grabbing your camera and having a quick freak out before getting ready to meet Niall. None of your friends knew about this yet, you didn’t want them coming over and mobbing him, as well as, you didn't even want to deal with all the texts you were going to get. 

Before you knew it, there was a knock at the door, and you opened it to be greeted with Niall's shining face, and two huge guys standing behind him dressed in all black, a Gopro recording his entrance into your house.

"Hi!" you exclaimed, seeing his face turn up into a grin, then side stepping to let him and his entire crew in.

"How are ya?" he asked, stepping inside of your house, and then giving a hug that you almost died from.

"I'm.." you faltered for a second, "really nervous to be completely honest" Niall chuckled, "That's alright. I understand"

You weren't sure what to say, so you just offered him some water and to cook something for him to which he politely declined, but accepting the water.

"So you're a vlogger?" he asked with a confused look scrunched in his face, "What is that exactly?"

"Oh, its simple, I just record my everyday life, edit it together and then people watch it" you explained.

"Ah, is that why there's a camera sitting there?" he asked, motioning to the Gopro.

"Yeah" you said nervously, starting to get a little more comfortable, but not 100% yet, and you could tell he wasn't either, "I was going to vlog you and us meeting and everything, but I decided against it, the Gopro just filmed you walking into the house, if that's okay with you?"

"That's fine" he shrugged, looking at his team who were all staring at him, making sure he was safe, "But you can vlog if you want, we can make a little clip"

"Really? You're okay with that?" you asked nervously but your obvious excitement shined through more.

"Definitely" he said, matching your excitement and grabbing the camera off your kitchen counter. You figured it would be you vlogging, but instead it was him, holding and talking to the camera like a pro, "Hello lovelies" he said, getting your phrase just right, which made your jaw drop.

"I'm here with my future baby mama, (y/n)" he smiled, moving his body so you were also in the frame.

"I've already written my wedding vows" you joked, causing Niall to laugh.

"Well shit, I guess I need to start working on mine, and apparently get you a ring" he fawned, looking at you, "What kind of ring would you like, love?"

"Well personally, I'm a white gold or platinum fan" you started, "But honestly the rest is up to you dear" You finally got closer to him and sarcastically wrapped your arm around him like he was your boyfriend.

"You got it, babe, I'll run out right now and get you that" he laughed, as you grinned at him calling you pet names. He shut the camera off after that, and placed it in his pocket, it was your guess that he would be vlogging for you for the rest of the day.

There was a stupid grin on both your faces, and at the moment, you knew what you said about just instantly clicking was right, because you could already feel a friendship, if not, memories forming, he was such an easy going and fun person to be around and talk to.   

"You have a really nice house, by the way" he said suddenly, snapping you out of a trance, "do ya live here alone?"

"Yeah, actually" you smiled, "I cook, clean, and decorated all by myself here". You felt a little accomplished as he looked around and nodded.

"Never gets lonely?" he asked, now looking at you.

His eyes on you made you more nervous, but it was very easy and natural to look him in the eye, as shy as you were, "Absolutely, I hate having a day off and just being here alone, but at the same time, I don't want a roommate destroying my house"

"What about a boyfriend?" he asked, his eyebrows cocked.

"Well we're getting married and having pretty babies, so I'm just waiting on you to move all your stuff in" you grinned at him.

He smiled and laughed, "I'll go get some clothes out of the bus and throw them around the house if that'll make you feel better"

"Only if you're going to help me clean it up afterwards" you cocked an eye at him, knowing that he was a clean freak.

"I've gotta help my wife out if she's going to be running around after, what, 3 kids?" he smirked.

"See! We are connected, I was thinking 3 kids as well" you said, half of you was believing this was totally meant to be while the other half wasn't believe it was real.

"We’re married, of course we are" he said a little too seriously, making the pit in your stomach come back, "do you have names picked out yet?"

"Not really, but I have a lot of boy names I like, so you can name our girl" you told him honestly.

"I'm alright with that, at least I know our baby girl will be beautiful" he said, admiring you, making you blush madly. His team was completely ignoring you guys now, stepping outside even because they now knew that you weren't a threat to precious Niall, only completely in love with him.

"Well our boys are going to be little brunettes with blue eyes, and you can teach them to play soccer, and guitar" this was literally your fantasy.

"What about a house in Ireland though, I'd like to visit sometimes" he grinned, his face going a little red like he was actually making these plans.

"How about he just move to Ireland in general, then our kids can have the accent too" you winked at him.

"Now we have to actually get married" he said seriously with a smile, "you're too open minded to give up"

"All we need is that ring" you joked.

He pulled out the camera again, turning it on, and draping his arm around you while you sat on the couch now, "Hey guys"  he started, "So here's what we've decided so far, we're going to have 3 kids, 2 boys and a beautiful girl, and we're moving to Ireland, I just have to get her the ring".

"He even offered to messy my house up for me, like a real husband, so I think this marriage will definitely work out".

He was looking at you with heavy lidded eyes as you talked to the camera, and you didn’t notice it until you turned to look at him, and forgetting whatever the hell you were saying. Then he smiled and turned back to the camera, "she was right though, we did have an instant click"

"Like a seatbelt" you added before realizing you sounded stupid, but Niall only chuckled and put down the camera.

The rest of his time spent there was actual genuine conversation, you were actually getting to know each other, likes and dislikes, dreams and aspirations, and it was like sitting down with an old friend and catching up instead of sitting in your house with a massive celebrity. It didn't feel like cliché talk, like how celebrities always talk to you, ask how you are, what you want to do with your life, it was kind of that, but on a much deeper level, you were learning what was in each others hearts.

"I wish I could stay longer" he said with a forlorn look on his face after his manager told him they had to hit the road.

"You have to come back home sometime"  you joked, causing him to smile, but it didn't quite reach him eyes. Was he really upset he had to go? So were you, don’t be ridiculous, but he was Niall and you were, well… you.

"On a serious note"  he started, "Would I be able to get your number so we could still talk?" 

You could tell he was a little nervous about asking, but you were ecstatic with your answer and taking his phone to put your number in there.

I'm gonna give ya a call after my show tonight, yeah?" he half asked, pocketing his phone.

"Please?" you said, knowing he would.

"And I promise I'll see ya again" he smiled, pulling you in for a hug. You walked him to the door and opened it for him, his team waiting for him to exit.

"Not a goodbye, just a see you later" you smile half heartedly. You've known this man for about 4 hours and it was still so heartbreaking to say goodbye. He smiled back at you, and gave you another hug, and a kiss on the cheek, watching your eyes light up as he looked deep into them, then taking your hand and doing the dramatic let go, as you watched him walk down your steps, and closing your door.

You made your way back to your couch depressed, a visual sad lip as you looked at the spot he was just sitting in, where you made the deepest connection with anyone you have ever met, even if this was a celebrity and you totally called it. You turned on the TV trying to get it out of your head, he'll text and call you as promised, and if he didn't you would just call him out on twitter, because hey you guys are married.

You were just about to wrap a blanket around you  and watch some netflix when Niall opened the door, causing you to jump and throwing a few articles of clothing in your house, "Have fun cleaning, my love!" he laughed as he ran back down the stairs.

"Niall!" you called, giggling like mad and watching him wave bye from the bus. At least you had some of his clothes now, now he HAD to come back to see you.

[evanvanness]

Annotated edition for the May 31, 2020, Week in Ethereum News

Here’s the most clicked for the week:

I think the Societe Generale bond issuance paying Banque de France with a CBDC digital euro hadn’t been hyped at all, hence why it led the list.  In fact, I don’t think anyone had noticed the press release until Julien Bouteloup tweeted it a week after it had gone out.

Given France’s history protecting domestic industry, you would expect Tezos to be getting these projects due its (probably inaccurate) reputation as being a French project.  And I bet Tezos will get some involvement in the future from the French government linked projects, but it’s still notable that these things are still on Ethereum when Tezos has been live for nearly 2 years (though with very little use).

Meanwhile, alongside yesterday’s announcements of Starkware and OMG, Vitalik tweeted that “initial deployment of ethereum's layer 2 scaling strategy has *basically* succeeded.”   That’s not wrong, but it’s prone to misinterpretation.

The history of layer2 in blockchain is not a particularly successful one.  I’d argue that the question isn’t whether it works, per se, but can it work in a way that gets users over the long haul.  Sure, we’re starting to see that (loopring is live with a million trades on its rollup!) - and we appear to be on the verge of real apps running on layer2 - but there’s a long history in Bitcoin and Ethereum of unrealistic expectations for layer2.  

Here’s the high-level things for Eth holders reads:

8 things you should consider before staking

Devcon6 will be in Bogota in 2021

Liquidity mining: now you earn Balancer tokens for supplying liquidity or Compound tokens for supplying/borrowing

Lots of folks are considering whether to stake, how much to stake, whether to use a staking service, etc etc.  Cayman’s post was a pretty good primer on these questions.   Eth2 staking will lock your ETH up for awhile.  The return is likely to be quite good, though as more people lock up ETH, the return declines.  So it’s hard to say exactly what the return will be - and you won’t be liquid for a long while.

Eth2′s beacon chain is designed for decentralization, with penalties for being offline or doing something wrong (eg, double signing) going up exponentially if they are part of an attack (”correlated”).

That is to say, you should be totally fine staking at home even with mediocre residential connection - going offline usually just means you miss rewards.  And even if you go offline when AWS goes down, as long as you bring your connection back up quickly, you should be relatively ok.    

Staking services should professionalize the staking in ways that ameliorate some risks but which might provide hidden risk if they don’t make sure to think about the risks.   Do they do their staking in the cloud, especially something like AWS east?  Do they spread across different clients?  How much of a honey pot are they?  

Meanwhile, Devcon will be in Colombia but postponed until next year.

Finally, of my 3 high level articles to read: liquidity mining.  DeFi apps like Balancer and Compound are decentralizing themselves by giving tokens to their users, to bootstrap the things the network needs to be example.  By no means are these the first examples of giving away tokens to users, but these are 2 notable examples of a trend to keep an eye on.

Now for the annotations.  A few sections I don’t have anything to add: 

Eth1

Latest core devs call, discussion of EIPs for inclusion in Berlin hard fork, whether or not to include 2046 (static call to precompile gas reduction) and 2565 (modexp reprice). Working toward an ephemeral testnet for Berlin.

Latest fee market change (1559) call. Notes from the EIP1559 call

Discussion thread on meta transactions, oil, opcode repricing

Snap sync mainnet benchmarking, single peer on AWS

I basically say the same thing in this section every week.   People are implementing the EIPs and figuring out which ones will be ready to go for Berlin.  EIP1559 will not be ready until the hard fork after Berlin.  Then in the longer-term, there’s lots of work on Stateless Ethereum (or the non-preferred nomenclature: 1.x 🤮) and that’s in discussion.  

And then Peter is working on a new sync (formerly known as leaf sync) which seems to cut bandwidth way way down.

Eth2

Latest what’s new in eth2, features a Schlesi testnet postmortem

The new multi-client testnet is Witti. Here’s a guide to staking

Latest eth2 implementer call. Notes from Ben and Mamy

Cross-shard transaction simulation

8 things you should consider before staking

RocketPool is going to wrap the ETH locked up in Eth2 staking, thus giving liquidity to eth2 stakers

New multi-client testnet.  They’re basically going to spin them up, try to break them, and not worry about rescuing them if they go down, since you can spin a new one up.  This one is called Witti.

RocketPool deciding to tokenize the 32staked eth is interesting.  It’s basically inevitable - anything that can get wrapped, eventually will get wrapped.  This may end up being the decentralized way to get liquidity for your staked ETH if plans change and you decide you need liquidity for your 32 staked ETH.  There will almost certainly be centralized ways - exchanges eventually offer staking and let you trade IOUs.  Of course, that depends on how much you trust the exchange.

Layer2

Raiden v1 is live on mainnet for DAI and WETH, with some token limits

Deconstructing a state channel app and how a dev interacts with a state channel wallet

A zk-rollups to scale blockchain explainer

Understanding optimistic rollups by building one

Dharma and Interstate open source their Tiramisu optimistic rollup for token transfers

Raiden shipped with the training wheels on!  

Not much else to say around layer2 besides what I said above.  Gotta get users.

This newsletter is made possible by Chainlink!

Connect your smart contract to decentralized oracles that provide the most tamper-proof and accurate market price data, as well as on-chain verifiable randomness that’s provably fair.

Stuff for developers

Array slices in Solidity v0.6

Truffle v5.1.27 – debugger support for Solidity inline assembly

Upgradeable contracts using diamond standard

web3j now includes abi v2

Typescript types for Solidity AST

i18n translation strings for Defi, available as npm package

Build your first Harberger tax app tutorial

eth95: retro UI for calling contract functions

secp256k1 twist attacks

BLS12-381 pairing-friendly curve in JavaScript, now with hash-to-curve v7 and 50 pairings/sec

Ecosystem

Devcon6 will be in Bogota in 2021

All the projects from EthGlobal’s Hack Money

A surprising 120 submissions for Hack Money!

I’m not surprised Devcon got pushed to 2021, but I am disappointed.   I’d like to see a prediction market on when the next ETH event is which has more than ~400 attendees.  

We’re also getting out of the spring conference season (note for southern hemisphere readers: sorry, I know it’s fall for you), so I’m curious whether we’ll see online conferences continue to pop up for every day of the week.  I suspect not, but it is open real estate at the moment.

Enterprise

First Central Bank Digital Currency public blockchain transaction is on Ethereum: Societe General issued €40m of covered bonds as security tokens and paid with Banque de France digital euros. While the press release does not make it clear, the transaction was on Ethereum mainnet

It actually took me the better part of an hour to find the link that confirmed that this was on Eth mainnet.

DAOs and Standards

Summoning the spirit of DAO ops

ERC2680: eth2 standard wallet layout and naming format

ERC2678: EthPM v3

EIP2681: Limit account nonce to 2^64-1

EIP2677: Limit initcode size

Application layer

Enjin plugin for Minecraft to tokenize Minecraft items on your server

Umbra: stealth payments to ENS names, running on Ropsten testnet

How does NexusMutual become an efficient version of Lloyd’s of London?

Maker’s Oasis now makes it easy to leverage up with ETH

DeFi777 – wrap your erc20 tokens as erc777 tokens, then swap through ENS names

RenVM brings BTC, BCH, and ZEC to Ethereum as ERC20 tokens

Mstable basket of stablecoins live on mainnet, includes yield from Compound/Aave plus swap fees – there’s a zero slippage stablecoin trade with 30 basis points of fees

Centrifuge’s Tinlake asset factoring is on mainnet, with factoring for freight shipping and Spotify payments

4/8 arbitrarily classified as DeFi this week.

Zero slippage stablecoin trade is an interesting approach - of course, as a liquidity provider, you’re assuming those stablecoins stay stable.  As a user, you want tiny slippage and tiny fees for going between two things that are supposed to represent the same value.   As a liquidity provider you want as much fees as possible, especially since you’re assuming the risk of pegs slipping or being broken.

Also just wait until Centrifuge’s factoring gets pushed as collateral for Maker.  I’m curious what the response will be - or is it hohum since some trusted assets have already been added?

Tokens/Business/Regulation

Liquidity mining: now you earn Balancer tokens for supplying liquidity or Compound tokens for supplying/borrowing

Zap your liquidity around in one transaction

Ryan Sean Adams: Eth is doubly undervalued

Gavin Andresen: crypto markets take a long time to reflect reality

People seem to call it maximalism these days when you point out that anything is overvalued, but I thought Gavin’s post was a concise reflection of the irrationality of crypto markets.

General

LadderLeak and ECDSA explainer

Hundreds of thousands of Thai users switching to Minds, a Twitter/Facebook hybrid social network incentivized through an ERC20 token

I checked out Minds.  They did a token sale two years ago, though you can still buy it on their site now.  It’s an interesting concept, you can get paid to post, except you have to pay to be a paid member first.  I couldn’t quite work out what the incentives were for me, but social networks need to get traction in one niche and then expand, and it seems like they may be getting that in Thailand.  I’d like to see more social network attempts using tokenized incentives.

Housekeeping

Follow me on Twitter @evan_van_ness to get the annotated edition of this newsletter on Monday or Tuesday. Plus I tweet most of what makes it into the newsletter.

Did you get forwarded this newsletter?  Sign up to receive it weekly

Permalink: https://weekinethereumnews.com/week-in-ethereum-news-may-31-2020/

Dates of Note

Upcoming dates of note (new/changes in bold):

June 1-6 – DAO Rush Week

June 3 – BlockVigil’s free remote developer bootcamp begins

June 16 – deadline to apply for Gitcoin’s Kernel incubator

Oct 2-Oct 30 – EthOnline hackathon

[spoopercorp]

In my opinion, the majority of the Supergirl cast at SDCC was being more ignorant and insensitive rather than homophobic.

You have to be open to the possibility that maybe you’re misconstruing the situation, that what you see from the other side may not be an accurate representation of what actually happened, but yes, there is always the possibility that you are right.

Jeremy Jordan released two public apologies via Instagram that received backlash.

The first:

This one, I believe, received the most backlash for a formatting that is closer to that of a non-apology, of which I can see to an extent. It may be messy and imperfect, but he is human and can only learn from his mistakes. Many people did not like the fact that he said, “My track record for years has proven my love and utter devotion to the LGBTQ community.” because some people believe it is the equivalent of, “I have gay family/friends, I can’t be homophobic.”

But he is, I think, absolutely genuine with his intention in the apology, and the second part is more sincere, if you will.

He admitted his mistake, promised he would be better, and I personally have no doubt that he will try to do so in the future.

I said before that when you are attacked or criticized or hated, you are more likely to defend yourself. That is how humans work. If someone you knew was generally a kind and sweet person, but made a huge mistake, you are more likely to blame it on the person’s character. If it was the other way around and you made the mistake, you are more likely to blame it on external circumstances.

Mehcad Brooks’ apology is similar.

Yes, he made a comment similar to Jeremy Jordan’s “my track record” comment, and said something equivalent to “I cannot be homophobic, I am black”. And maybe he did not mean it to come out that way.

That is also another thing to address, because people who are gay can be racist/sexist and people who are black can be homophobic/sexist and people who are feminists can be homophobic/sexist. Most people know that being oppressed does not mean you cannot be the oppressor.

This is not trying to excuse what they did, but acknowledge that there are absolutely many variables within the situation at hand.

In the musical recap, they were having fun.

Okay, not a great reason, but everyone knows that when you are having fun, in the spur of each moment, you will not know if you are spouting anything out that is rude and offensive. They were not targeting the LGBT+ community, but maybe the actions they partook in are considered homophobic, but they are likely not themselves. They were being silly, having fun with each other, and laughing is scientifically proven to be contagious - it is a social thing whether or not you enjoy it, because most humans thrive off of it, and therefore, desire to be accepted. But, again, I know it does not excuse what they did.

Their intent was not to invalidate the LGBT+ community, but it did regardless, and you have every right to be upset. But think, just for a few seconds, to consider all sides. If you create something as an artist that you are so proud of and put so much time in and it is overlooked towards something you unintentionally created, you will likely feel upset. That one thing that you did not mean to do and put as much work in is being praised rather than the actual thing you are so proud of and want compliments for. Imagine that it is what the majority only talk about, it can get annoying.

Then there was the unnecessary interjection Chris Wood made about sexuality only being about perception of others. Again, ignorant and insensitive, but to his defense, he did say he was being sarcastic right after. I personally believe that was a homophobic comment. It is unfortunate for him that he is receiving a ton of hate attacking his personal life (because his character, Mon-El, is nothing like the comic counterpart and portrays someone who seems abusive), and when you shout at someone, you are likely to be shouted back at with the same force. Again, not excusing him, but more trying to develop an understanding of all sides.

To reiterate, I create art, whether it is in written or visual form, and I will likely be proud of my feat. There will be blatant haters, but when a fan articulately and professionally comments on how my work is portraying something unhealthy, it is a red flag. It is my job to at least take a second for myself to contemplate their words and the possibility without bias and acknowledge that though I did not intend to make it that way, it still had that affect.

They were also tired.

Okay, perhaps also not the greatest excuse for most.

SDCC panels are stressful for everyone, and I also believe it is very much so for celebrities attending. David Harewood makes a point that people may be “unfair” and “over the top” and blasting the situation out of proportion. My only qualm with his tweet is that he refers this outburst only originating from shippers when it is the entire LGBT+ community that has been affected. They might not be homophobic, but their actions could be read that way and will be used in the future to hurt the LGBT+ community and they are responsible for that.

They are also celebrities, they are constrained and choked in a suffocating environment that many fans burden their shoulders with.

Expectations. Ideals. Presumptions. Many unrealistic.

They are stuck within a tiny box of those specifications and the moment they resist or reach past it in any way, they receive hate. They are people, and like many other people, they may be agreeable on some matters and disagreeable on others; they have their own views. Those perfect ideas of humans people have, not just idols nor icons, are bad and unfair for both sides.

There are so many things that infuriated people at Supergirl’s SDCC.

From the announcement of The Ray and how it made Jewish coded characters like Supergirl and the Flash actual Nazis.

Which I personally loathe, so I cannot be as impartial on that matter.

To Melissa Benoist’s statements that Kara Danvers “lost her first ever boyfriend” as well as comparing it to her “losing her entire world”. She completely omitted a great black man in the first season that the latter was so head over heels with and seems to have compared a loss of a boyfriend to her losing her entire world - by extension forgetting that Kara Danvers still has Eliza, Lena, James, J’onn, Winn, and her sister Alex (I believe the Danvers sisters’ relationship is the most powerful in the show).

To the questions and panels circling around Mon-El constantly with barely any input on the Danvers sisters and the involvements of other important lead characters.

To the lack of addressing the problem with Mon-El’s character, which has been a huge controversy in numerous articles as well as plot holes with the rushed and messier writing.

To the theorizing and speculation people are making by watching videos, like the musical recap.

They are videos, you cannot really determine emotion nor intent and all they will ever be is speculation, because people are sharing statements that there is now cast drama (which I hope not) due to this incident. Katie McGrath and Odette Annable are receiving the least hate out of everyone (I am referring to cast members who were present, so I am leaving Chyler Leigh and Floriana Lima out) because (and some of these are fan speculations and may or may not be ridiculous to you)...

- Katie McGrath repeated that fans could take anything they wanted from the show and apparently Mehcad Brooks told her to “shut up” in Italian (zitta).

Honestly, the audio is not great and neither are human ears and it is just speculation. I do not know.

- Katie McGrath “dragged” the rest of the cast members by stating, “I brought it back to reality, you wanna go back to singing again?” as in referring to the musical recap in the video as well as leaning away and apparently tackling Chris Wood’s comment earlier about sexuality only being about perception and Odette Annable showing her support.

Again, speculation as I analyze with a neutral lens. Katie McGrath could be comfortable in that position. Or maybe she was actually uncomfortable with the situation. And the cast was singing shortly beforehand, it was probably not meant as shade. I do not know.

- Odette Annable did not laugh at the musical recap nor when the cast sang again about Daxam I think.

Maybe she does not find singing to be amusing? Or maybe she really thought the cast members were being rude about the musical recap. I do not know.

- There is a photo of Katie McGrath and it looks as if there are tears and people speculate it was due to her statement during the musical recap that allegedly went ignored by other cast members or something and now she is being ostracized.

More speculation, maybe she was so happy with fans she teared up, maybe the lights were too bright and her eyes were too dry. I do not know.

I do not know. No one knows for sure what is going on and hopefully everyone’s speculations above are wrong because the idea of supposed discourse and schisms within a cast of grown adults is honestly sad (someone said that cast members for a show were arguing before an interview, I do not know how reliable that information is).

If you have a problem with what happened, give your statements.

Don’t attack the actors’ and/or writers’ personal lives.

Most people will not pay attention to something that sounds aggressive or hateful. Educate them on the consequences of their actions in a professional manner, and if they shoot back with something immature or block you, then you are wasting your time and theirs. You are the consumer, you can move on and invest your emotions, money, and time on something that you consider is more worth your while.

[johnlarens]

my great comet experience (act i + intermission)

okay so I wrote a lot so it’s gonna be split into two posts and I’ll edit this and provide a link to act two!

BEFORE THE SHOW

- So where you stand in line waiting be let in (and where you pick up your tickets) is decorated in Russian propaganda to make it look like a war bunker/safe house! And on one of the doors it says “strobe lights and haze!” (a pre warning for the show I believe?) with a hammer and sickle underneath it

- the theater is so beautiful

- decorating the walls were tons of russian paintings and my god it was absolutely stunning - okay so the lady who showed us to our seats was hilarious!!! My mom and I spent a good chunk of our time before the show talking to her- her name was Marylin! She was a cranky old lady who took her job so seriously but hey, she’s quick and efficient and I liked her! - okay so Brad Giovanine came around with dumplings and was like “who wants dumplings!” and honestly, i don’t think I’ve ever shot my hand up so fast

- i was the first one to get a dumpling in my section,,,,i feel blessed - Brad came back around and started telling us about the strobe lights and all!       But the other cast member who was talking the section in front of me was all:   “if strobe lights bother you then just close your eyes!” *closes his eyes* still to bright? *covers his eyes with his hand" - when the show started war sirens aired and it was such aN AMAZING TOUCH MY GOODNESS!!!! - And then the announcer with a deep Russian accent goes: “ladies and gentlemen, attention please! Cellphones!” - Cast: NYET! - announcer: texting! - Cast: NYET! - And one guy who was sitting in the section in front of me STILL had his phone out???? Even when the cast in my row pointed to him!!!!! - Announcer: googling? - Cast: NYET!

- Announcer: tweeting, photos, videos!

- Cast: NYET! NYET! NYET! - Announcer: no talking during the show! Violators are moved to security guards and KGB. Repeat offenders are sent to Siberia.

PROLOGUE - during the sick accordion provided by Pierre there’s a heart wrenching ‘NO!’ from Natasha as she’s seeing Andrey off to war - Andrey gives her a golden necklace and places it around her neck before going off through #the door - “what about Pierre?”

PIERRE - “I used to be better” he’s so upset with himself and who he his - he’s so sad and he hates himself and I love Pierre so much - “I’m married but not in love” the light shines on Hélène who’s looking down at him - “he is charming! he has no sex!” the ladies dance around him in a circle almost as if they’re making fun of him :-( - “you empty and stupid, contented fellows, satisfied with you place!” he makes a sharp turn and practically jabs his finger at Anatole - he just wants to do more and be more and do SOMETHING with his life I love him

MOSCOW - Natasha and Sonya are dressed in pretty white coats and hand warmers I love them - Grace McLean played such an amazing Marya, she looked to happy to see them - “then a game of Boston, and you’ll read to me while I knit!” Natasha and Sonya look so,,,,shook and 'no thanks’

THE PRIVATE AND INTIMATE LIFE OF THE HOUSE - those in favor of keeping Mary away from Prince Bolkonsky and loving her forever say 'I’ - As Bolkonsky is yelling at Mary she shrinks away in fear and is shaky - Andrey’s father was hilarious (minus the yelling at Mary part - “Everyone enjoys me” and he nods to an audience member - when he pats his powdered wig powder flies in the air ajdbdkdbdk - Abskdbdk this man is so shaky as he wobbles about the stage - And his servant,,,,honey I’m cackling he’s shuffling around the stage, bent over in the shape of an L

NATASHA AND BOLKONSKYS - Natasha’s 'hello’ to Marya is too abskdbdkd the way Denée delivers this line is so humorous - “says the mean old man in his underthings!” I cackled - as Natasha tries to leave, Marya follows her about the stage :-( she just wants a friend

NO ONE ELSE - natasha misses and loves Andrey so much I cry - the blue is so beautiful Denée is so beautiful I love her and her voice - the fake snow is such a nice gentle touch - Standing at the bottom of the steps, Andrey is reading (I’m assuming) Natasha’s letters and looking off in the distance, probably eager to get to her - Close to the end of the song, Andrey starts to walks off and Natasha chases after him before coming to a stop - At the end she positions herself next to an audience member and says “maybe he came today and he’s sitting the drawing room, and I simply forgot” :-( she misses him so much - but that doesn’t last for long :/

SUNDAY MORNING - when Sonya and Natasha do the candle in the mirror and Natasha sees a man lying down, she looks away, but the ensemble member that’s holding the mirror, follows her for a moment. Excellent touch - after Marya finds out how rude Bolkonsky was to Natasha she got SUPER angry and stormed off - and abskdbdk as Natasha is getting undressed, Hélène walks in and it’s gay time

CHARMING - Natasha is so shy and blushy when Hélène compliments her it’s so cute - for a little bit Natasha struts around in Hélène’s green coat and she looks so tiny in that big furry thing my goodness - When Hélène says “you will be the prettiest there” Pierre nods - When Hélène takes off the necklace that Andrey gave Natasha, and replaces it with her string of pearls, she dumps Andrey’s necklace on Pierre who fiddled with it and is like “what am I supposed to do with this??” until placing it on his desk - “She knows that I’m engaged, yet she talks to frankly, so it must me alright :-)” my mom called Natasha a dingbat and I snorted

THE OPERA - “Natasha smooth your gown” she looks so offended when they say that, my poor girl!! - I’m not sure what it symbolizes (or if it’s just part of the outfit), but as Natasha is saying how she’s not a little girl anymore, she puts on some lacey white gloves and they’re so pretty I love Denée so much I’m so gay - okay let me just take the time to say just how much I love Dolokov???? I’d let him assassinate me - before offering his hand for an audience member to kiss it- he kisses his own hand ajdbdidbdk, and then kisses her hand - “-Pierre the cuckold sits at home, the poor man!” from his desk, Pierre does a 'raise the roof’ motion before saying that he’s enjoying himself at home - Natasha is so enchanted by Hélène before Marya comes over and talks about Pierre before pulling Natasha away and brushing away Hélène - The satanic hooded figures??? A mood. The strange performers??? A big mood - Natasha’s response to the opera was hilarious ajsbdkfn first she’s roasting it then she’s praising it saying it’s the best thing ever - When Anatole enters through the door striking in different poses with the bass I nut right there right in my seat - Andrey’s guts spilling out is a good representation of me nutting over the intensity of this song

ANATOLE AND NATASHA

- first off Anatole is a soggy crocodile and needs to stay away from Natasha >:-(

- Natasha is feeling herself when she knows Anatole is enchanted with her - “when looking into his eyes I am frightened.” Natasha them kinda runs away from Anatole to try and regain herself - abskdbfkfbfkfbf kkay when Anatole grabs Natasha and kisses her on the neck, it’s so loud wtf it was a real deal kiss like, I bust a nut for that shit - when Anatole takes Natasha’s flower she looks so offended like girl!! - Anatole and Natasha’s kiss was,,,,,w ow

THE DUEL - so many strobe lights. so many colors. so amazing!!!!!!! - the ensemble was amazing oh my goodness - Grace McLean in the suit and the whip………dare I say…….mommy - when Pierre refers to Natasha as 'dear andrey’s betrothed’ Anatole shrugs and makes a 'yeah, sure, whatever’ kind of face while doing the so-so motion with his hand - “ I have known her family for years, and long carried affection for her” he puts his hand over his heart - when Anatole asks for 50 rubles Pierre coughed up a wad of cash, hands Anatole 50 and just leaves the rest (which is way more that (50 rubles) in his other hand, only to have Anatole take the larger sum of money from his right hand ! - again,,,,I love Dolokov he just saunters on in with a tray of glasses and starts pouring drinks - some (most?) of the ensemble had those light up bottom sneakers and were dressed like teens at their first rave it was cute! - pierre was drinking through the first good couple lines of it and he’s a funny + sad drunk - when Pierre is proclaiming his 'I used to love I used to be better!’ the demeanor in which he shouts it is so heartbreaking and hélène’s response is so twisted and gnarled - Dolokov is feeling all up on hélène and then they kinda made out and pierre EXPLODES - After Pierre realizes that he’s actually hit Dolokov he looks absolutely - during Dolokov’s turn to fire at Pierre, Pierre stand there arms wide open, head hanging low, waiting to be shot, and when Dolokov fires and misses, Pierre just stand completely still for a good couple moments, before realizing he’s alive - Anatole is so fucking andkdbdkbfkf as he’s saying “we love to love another day” he’s like……prancing around aND HE GIVES PIERRE FINGER GUNS until he goes off stage I’m!!!

DUST AND ASHES - I said it once and I’ll say it again: Scott was an AMAZING PIERRE - When Pierre goes “and if I die here tonight-” he picks up the gun that he used to duel Dolokov with and fiddled with it for a bit, “-I die in my sleep” and my heart broke - he’s so upset that he just slams down his book when he talks about not knowing a thing - “was a happiness within me the whole time?” he’s finally realizing that he can be who he wants to be - “they say we are asleep until we faALL iIN LOOOOOOoOoVVVVE! aaAND II’M SO REEeAADY, TO WAAaaaAAKE UuuuUUP NooOooOOWW” let me tell you I was fucking close to tears - when the song ended the crowd went crazy it was truly stunning

- i love scott

THE BALL - “Oh how I adore little girls, they loose their head at once!” Anatole you little nasty soggy crocodile get away from Natasha!!!!!! >:(((( - when Anatole presses Natasha’s arm and she says that he’s hurting her I wanted to bite Anatole’s hand off :/ - the kiss they have is insane like, it felt like it lasted forever like……..how they breathin???? - “I love you. how else could we have kissed? How else could this have happened?” - “I wiiillll loooove youu, Anatoooole,” Denée’s voice……………me? bust a nut? yes. - Abskdbfkf Anatole does a 'hell yeah! good job, anatole’ face after she says that and I……

INTERMISSION

- not much to comment about during intermission, i just stretched my legs some and walked to the merch table

- i wanted to buy a shirt but lmao i spent all my money on the ticket 

- when the three minute warning was called, the war sirens sounded and it was so amazing

okay so that was part one of my great comet experience! get ready for part two (act ii and stagedoor)