#and if you throw a fit and make up fake controversy because your feelings got hurt

[monochromayhem]

Gonna add to this.

This is a fear that I have, and it’s funny how you mentioned Stephen King, because I talked about this fear with my partner on a recent excursion.

The “crazy” fan in Misery is a fear that I imagine many writers have had. The entitlement over how an author writes, the sense of betrayal when a twist they don’t like happens or a character dies or becomes evil (or good or anything that they aren’t before) is something that is, in my opinion, what can kill the authors will to keep going. It has the usually unintentional quality of being anti-art because it attempts to railroad a creator into a narrative they never wanted.

On one hand, I’m definitely the person who feels there are ways to say “fuck off” while encouraging creativity. If someone complained about how a character died, I’d tell them that I understand why they’re upset. That I was that kid reading Michael Crichton’s Micro and I screamed when a character I didn’t think would bite the dust died in a detailed and frankly gruesome manner. And I’d tell them that my writing just sorta unfolds, and that’s how it unfolds. And that they should write fanfiction to work through those complicated feelings— I encourage it.

On the other hand, there are bitter truths to writing that all authors should be more clear about, and the chief one in this instance is that all criticism that an artist faces is ultimately arbitrated by the author and the author alone. All criticism is sorted through by the creator and is sorted into whether it’s in good or bad faith, and then from there what is legitimate criticism that should be considered, or invalid claims that can be dismissed.

It’s something I took from my Writer’s Workshop program that I hold dear, that not all criticism is born equal. Sure, offensive stereotypes and such are something that should be remedied, but things like unhealthy relationships and miscommunications and crimes happening are a normal part of plot.

Imagine if someone hated Robin Hood for being a thief and demanded the author rewrite him to be a priest or a merchant or anything that could be twisted into absolute morality. The author would look at them, go “haha, no!” and keep doing exactly what they were doing. The artist has the right with their IP to reject things that don’t make narrative or thematic sense.

The final judge of criticism is the artist, full stop. If you wanna write the story for the author, you don’t respect their art. A good artist knows that balanced discernment of comments is an important part of shaping their creation, and if you just want them to bend to the whims of the fans, you don’t want their art—you want your fanfiction version of it.

In other words, go write a fanfiction if you don’t like something an author does.

Oh, and fuck off.

I think more creators should openly tell their fans to fuck off and stop being weird

[rreskk]

Accident

TW: Mention of drugs/alcohol  Summary: An accident call led to Trevor apologising a few days after. 

You got a call from one of your close friends Trevor. Assuming he’s going to ask you to come to the lab, you answered and pressed the phone to your ear.

His voice came out, blaring and hostile; slurring out some profound and exotic language. “Clear your schedule, I’m horny.”  

Your end of the line went silent as you were comprehending what he just told you. You knew Trevor very well, have done for years. The only time you ever gotten so close was drunkenly hugging each other after a night out on your birthday. That was 2 years ago, almost 3.

“Well?” He’d soon snap, growing impatient and restless.

You breathed out a neurotic chuckle, returning his controversial mistake.

“Hi, Trevor.” You mocked. “I think you probably called the wrong number.”

Trevor’s gasp was faint as he cursed. “What the fuck? That bitch!”

His pitch grew in volume and you held your phone away until his exaggeration was over.

“What happened?” You followed his hissy fit.

“This fuckin’ stripper promised to gimme her number and fuckin’ gave me a fake one!” Accused Trevor who was on a riot with kicking things and throwing shit, from what you could interpret from his background noise.

“Not a fake number, because you somehow called me. Aren’t I on your contacts?”

He muttered. “I did recognise that fuckin’ number, for fucks sake.”

You smiled to yourself at his clumsiness and went to hang up when he hesitated again.

“Wait,” Trevor noticed you were going to hang up, “Could you come up to the lab?”

You had nothing better to do so you instantly agreed.

Driving up to the liquor store, you recognised Trevor’s heavy truck and travelled up the stairs. There was no sound of bubbles or steam, there was also no smell, making you wonder why he called you here when there was no meth cooking.

“Trevor?” You echoed when standing in the middle of the room.

There was a rumble of footsteps, revealing the man himself who wore his usual white T-shirt and grey joggers.

Trevor held a beer bottle close to his chest. “Hey.”

You could smell him from here. You were used to his addictions and habits, it was unusually normalised in your mind, maybe because you were used to seeing him high than sober.

“Should we get started?” You inquired.

He gazed over through his eyebrows. “Get started on what?”

There was slight tension in the air. After you last phone call with him, you started to get the idea and shook your head. Trevor understood your gesture but dismissed it, giving you eager eyes.

“I’m not turning this into one of your flings.” You demanded with hopes of controlling the situations outcome.

He placed his bottle down and held his hands together. “Please, just this once?”

You couldn’t believe this man. You were darting daggers into his high eyes, crossing your arms when he went to hold your hand.

“It doesn’t have to be anything personal.” Trevor muffled in frustration. He seemed extremely drugged.

“That is the damn problem, Trevor. Is nothing ever personal with you?” You furrowed your head and started down the stairs.

You could hear him whine after you but it stopped when you exited the liquor store.

“Asshole.” You shouted before driving off.

There was silence for the next few days. It was odd, considering your pay check was paid on time. Trevor never pays it on time. What was weirder was he never sent a message or call asking you to work. There was not a sight of him after your last encounter.

Your phone was left unsupervised in your bedroom as you were washing your car outside, scrubbing the windows and suffering in the hot beaming sun light.

You were beginning to grow hot and bothered, feeling sweat drip from your forehead and neck. There was a slight moment of cold breeze and your head followed to where that sensation came from.

Eyes peeled to the floor until a shadow covered it. You averted your vision up to be greeted by Trevor, his hands clamped behind his back, face shaded by some sunglasses, and mouth in one straight line

It was too warm to give him any ill treatment so you just flapped your hand and addressed him.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

You returned to your car when he cleared his throat, grabbing your attention again.

“I wanted to say sorry.” Trevor struggled, eyes moving everywhere except yours. This may be his first time formally apologising for his actions, and it’s showing.

“It’s fine.” You assured him. Bitterness intoxicating your words without meaning.

He pulled out some roses from his back, pressing them into your chest. “I’m serious. I am sorry.”

These roses smelt fresh. They were stunningly red and beautiful, reminding you of childhood almost straight away. Throwing off your yellow gloves, you cradled them into your hands and breathed in its sent.

“I had a bit too much meth and didn’t mean to pressure you.” He carried on.

You nodded your head to him. “It’s okay, I promise.”

You could see his eyes from behind his glasses gleaming in delight of you accepting his forgiveness. Trevor picked at his fingers when watching you study the flowers again, nervously hoping you were truly happy with them.

“These are beautiful, Trevor.” You smiled. “Thank you.”

He chuckled as he began climbing up his truck. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

You nodded.

Trevor smiled. “See you then.”

[yazzydream]

Too Flawless (Gojo Satoru Playlist)

I made a Gojo playlist not to long ago... and then more playlists for other characters too. Lol. Anyway, thought I’d share it now. → [Spotify Link]

1. Mada Minu Ashita ni (Into the Unseen Tomorrow) - Asian Kung-Fu Generation Chosen by Gege Akutami.

[...] We who are presently here Yes, to an unseen tomorrow No matter how sad the ending awaiting us is Let's call it Hope

2. Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic Because I'm a cliche.

Oh my, it feels just like I don't try Looks so good I might die All I know is everybody loves me Head down Swingin' to my own sound Flashes in my face now All I know is everybody loves me Everybody loves me

3. YES MOM - Tessa Violet Lyrics are pretty self-explanatory. But specifically, some imagery of Gojo's "honored one" scene comes to mind.

Bet you've been a fan of me See me in your fantasies Everything I got, I got working for me so Eat that, peep that I'm the one to beat, yeah [...]

///

20/20 vision with ambition's how I'm made I can't keep from winning when it's in my DNA Push me down and I bounce right back Trampoline and it's in my past Rising like a phoenix making fire from the ash, yeah

///

God, it's such a treat Just getting to be me Spending all my time on what I want Looking in the mirror I'm so glad I'm here [...]

4. Without Me - Eminem Gojo is a headache everyone wouldn't miss. Especially those higher ups in jujutsu society.

So the FCC won't let me be Or let me be me so let me see They try to shut me down on MTV But it feels so empty without me

///

Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me 'Cause we need a little controversy 'Cause it feels so empty without me

5. Can I Get a Witness - SonReal Some meme songs are really too good.

No, I ain't too flawless and no, I ain't the best And no, I don't say sorry and no, I ain't perfect But I am the man, I am the man Shots fired

6. Trust Issues - Emei I mean, Gojo has this whole grand ambition to change all of jujutsu society because he doesn't trust the ones who do control it. (For good reason.)

Calling them incompetent 'cause I might need control Recovering perfectionist, I'm learning to let go

7. Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer POV: The singer talking about Gojo. Reminded of that one comment Akutami made about how he can't imagine Gojo being sincere to a woman specially.

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth Late night devil, put your hands on me And never, never, never ever let go

///

Call me in the morning to apologize Every little lie gives me butterflies Something in the way you're looking through my eyes Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

8. comedy - Sion Inspired by that one color spread of Gojo and Getou standing as a manzai duo.

No way, tell me this is just a part Of a comedy TV show or a prank You told me, yeah, that we'll only have to laugh My eyes are sweating in regret, so please explain Oops, I did it again If they don't let me play, they all go away Hey, we're friends 'til the end Be mine or it ends You just can't keep a good guy down

9. hot girl bummer - blackbear Honestly, Gojo vibes~✨ And that one line about how he can't be boxed in is too perfect.

Fuck you and you, and you I hate your friends and they hate me too Fuck you and you, and you This that hot girl bummer anthem Turn it up and throw a tantrum This that hot girl bummer 2-step They can't box me in, I'm too left This that drip that's more like oceans They can't fit me in a Trojan [...]

10. Drugs (feat. blackbear) - UPSAHL

So, you say you're moving out of state Soon as you graduate... interesting (yeah) Anyway, you're leaving Need a hug? Okay then Call me up, no, thanks man

///

[...] So just stop the faking Not for here for nameless faces Pointless talkin', conversations [...]

11. High Enough - K.Flay Gojo reaching enlightenment.

I used to like liquor to get me inspired But you look so beautiful, my new supplier I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking But I found a different buzz The world is a curse it'll kill if you let it I know they got pills that can help you forget it They bottle it, call it medicine But I don't need drugs

///

Cause I'm already high enough […]

12. STRUT - EMELINE Gojo Satoru, shameless human dumpster fire.

They say I'm tragically obsessed Hot mess, God forbid, I'm getting what I like Every night, make 'em livid All these saints are watching me My sex life like TMZ You're welcome, bitch, the show is free I don't do the walk of shame, I strut (strut) [...]

13. you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish Gojo's just biding his time.

Bite my tongue, bide my time Wearing a warning sign Wait 'til the world is mine Visions I vandalize Cold in my kingdom size Fell for these ocean eyes You should see me in a crown I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by, one by one, one by, one by [...]

14. Kid in a Candy Store - JoJo Siwa Obligatory ode to Gojo's love of sweets. 🍭

I don't need no money, just a little bit of honey Got a jellybean heartbeat keeping me hungry Chocolate and vanilla with a strawberry swirl I'll never sugarcoat it, I'm my own kinda girl

15. Candyman - Christina Aguilera

[...] There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm He's a one stop shop, makes my panties drop He's a sweet talkin', sugar-coated candyman A sweet-talkin' sugar-coated candyman

16. IV. Sweatpants - Childish Gambino Gojo is that rich kid asshole.

[...] I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (Why) Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain (Whyyy) Don't be mad cause I'm doing me better than you doing you [...]

///

I'm winning so they had to dump the Gatorade And I don't give a fuck about my family name

17. Villain - Bella Poarch

I don't know why I'm like this, I'd love to piss you off Something in my psychosis finds it a little hard I always got good intentions, you tell me I saved your life But I'm craving your attention (and you know that I've got two sides)

18. Gojo Flow - DizzyEight, Mix Williams A song written specifically for Gojo. There’s a bunch of these on Spotify, but only a few I like.

I got that Blindfold Swag, that limitless energy, I'm a menace to society, woah

19. My Ordinary Life - The Living Tombstone So many of the lyrics are so on point I'm left baffled.

They tell me that I'm special, I smile and shake my head I'll give them stories to tell friends about the things I said They tell me I'm so humble, I say, "I'm turning red" They let me lie to them and don't feel like they've been misled They give so much to me, I'm losing touch, get me? Served on a silver platter, ask for seconds, they just let me

///

They tell me I'm a god, I'm lost in the facade Six-feet off the ground at all times, I think I'm feeling odd No matter what I make, they never see mistakes Makin' so much bread, I don't care that they're just being fake They tell me they're below me, I act like I'm above The people blend together but I would be lost without their love

///

Can you heal me? Have I gained too much? When you become untouchable, you're unable to touch Is there a real me? Pop the champagne It hurts me just to think and I don't do pain

19. Shame On Me - Avicii Closing out with the second song chosen by Akutami. Pretty sure he's trying to tell something to those who love Gojo. lmao

I'm baptized and born again Imma raise hell to the bitter end I'm a crazy little bitch in the first degree Shame on you for loving me

[cosmiclatte28]

Disorder (Yuta x reader)

a/n : contains sensitive topic about eating disorder, do not read if it’s triggering or uncomfortable for you :”) 

I do not personally support this topic, but last time I worked on this and I don’t know why I post this.. just tell me to delete this if this is too controversial I’ll take it down.

don’t force yourself 

The dark cloud loaming on the sky is terrifying enough to make you crouch under your blanket as you mutter prayers so the lights won’t go out and the thunder won't surprise you.

However the cold feeling creeping on your feet and hands should be the real deal to worry about. You shake under the blanket, hiding more under the fluffy linen if that is possible. Your lips tremble, chapped lips, and icy blue in color.

You know he won’t like what he sees. Yuta will never like this state you are in, but no matter how much you want to stop it, you can't.

Your body refuses the tiniest amount of food forced into your mouth. It happened three months into your marriage with Nakamoto Yuta. World's famous idol, actor, heart stealer. Life was perfect with Yuta before the marriage announcement. You love him, he loves you… his members are all supportive about his relationship. You're healthy and Yuta loves you for everything you do.

That was until Yuta got his first major role in a drama. The drama won a lot of awards, thanks to your husband's wonderful acting skill as a mafia and the perfect chemistry between the doll actress and him. You need to admit you're jealous of her, but the problem doesn’t come from the actress nor from Yuta.

Your husband is still loyal to you, he takes the marriage vow seriously… you actually do not have to worry about Yuta falling out of love, you clearly can see his love grows more and more each day to you. It's already your second anniversary!

It was the fandom, the talk of the town, the tweets of the bullies that broken you. You know you're not the perfect girl to marry the oh so perfect Nakamoto Yuta. No, you're not ugly or fat. You're fit, you’re healthy, you look fresh. You have a bright smile, cheerful personality, and kind heart. You have your own charm, the glowing smile that makes Yuta bears with the harsh schedule every day. Your hugs bring his broken pieces back, and your laugh it makes Yuta realizes no matter how hard life is, he will keep striving for you.

But the comments of the web, of the unknown faces caught you. Crept slowly into your mind and ate your heart bits by bits on lonely night when you have to fake a smile over calls and videocalls with Yuta.

“(Y/n), I'm coming home In two weeks! The world tour is tiring, but it's worthy!” Yuta one night greeted you over video call. He was unwinding from the tiring show and you were getting ready to work in your own company.

You always put a smile to him, no matter how harsh the comments of the world is whenever people brought up Yuta's marriage with you. The comments are always about how unsuitable you are to be Mrs.Nakamoto.

At first it just hurts, but as you try to ignore them, you just think and think more about it. What if they're true. What if the world really hates seeing you by his side. What if one day you're just going to ruin everything Yuta worked hard for?

With Yuta's tight schedule with comeback and more drama, you found yourself sleeping by yourself and eating by yourself. The lack of companion after coming back from a tiring day makes you skip dinner and directly go to bed.

You thought, skipping dinner will not trouble you, Yuta won’t know and you'll just ignore the pain. You skipped dinner not to lose weight, mainly because you don’t feel happy eating alone. And this happened for a while. You don’t drink anti-acids even when you feel like throwing up at nights, you don’t feed your grumbling stomach when they beg for solid foods. No, you lost your appetite. For weeks, the only thing you have in the morning is just water, one small apple if you really cannot help it and on lunch you try your best to only consume little to none food. Did you lose weight? Drastically! Not in a healthy way, you're not proud of your body. No, this lost of appetite doesn’t make you happy. You don’t feel like living.

“(Y/n)-chan, have u had dinner?” Yuta called on his last week of tour. It has been almost four months since he left for the world tour. He'll have another one month away to finish the closing tour.

You lied and nod your head “Yes, what about you?” Yuta couldn’t see your dining table, you just put your face there.

“I am having breakfast! Anyways, make sure you're eating enough… your cheeks are gone honey!” Yuta looks concern, but his smile is still there coz he is always treasuring the short time he has to call and see you.

“Well, it's the camera maybe. Good thing right?” you try to laugh it off although you know you really lose weight.

“No, I love your glowing cheeks! Don’t tell me you're skipping meals" he suddenly opens his eyes wide.

You chuckle “No. Don’t worry Yuta.”

He grins “Then what did you eat? Why you never show me?”

You are taken aback “Uh I've eaten it.”

Yuta doesn’t give up “Next time, send me a picture okay so it feels less lonely! Gomen, I have to go rehearsal! Byee love you!” he closes the call after you bid him goodbye, goodluck and a love you.

You walk to the mirror in your room. Grimacing at your skeletal body. You were fit and now you look sick. Your skin doesn’t glow, your lips are chapped, and your hair looks dull. No matter how hard you try to bring your glossy hair back, the lack of nutrients won’t allow you.

You hate your current state, you look horrible. Thin body but with a very dull skin, pale lips, unlovely eyes. You look like a walking zombie. Your nail and hair vitamins did not help, the polished healthy nails are now chipped and broken.

You tried, eating some foods, but your body throws them back out. Your friend suggested going to the specialist, but you're too stubborn and shy to go. What if someone caught you on camera, what will the world say about Yuta? About you?

Yes some people know about you. Your wedding picture was published online, you were pretty back then! Some fans supported you, but after they realize how regular you were they started comparing and regretting their idol's choice.

You go to work with your big clothes, trying to hide your sick appearance but everyone in the company realizes you're not doing good.

“Yuta will hate me,” that’s all you can think about when you close your eyes and force your light head to sleep by yourself in the big room while wishing you can still see the sunlight and greet Yuta.

What you fear the most, happened.

Yuta got home to you, shaking so bad from the lack of food. You're working too hard and forgot all the meals. You only drink water, and Yuta got home from his tiring tour to find you laying almost lifeless on his bed.

“(y/n)?! What joke is this?!” he lightly slap your cheek to wake you up, but your breathing is slow and your eyes are heavy.

Yuta rushed you to the hospital and all you remember was the worried look he has once you opened your eyes.

“The specialist said this is not something new. For you to reach this state of disorder, they said it has been at least two years. Why have you never told me? Why?” Yuta asked first thing first when you woke up.

You cried, feeling bad to see Yuta this worried “Gomen, I'm stupid Yuta. I skipped dinner… and it became a routine.”

Yuta shook his head “You were lying to me…”

You cried, unable to deny him. He stayed silence and a tear fell from his face “Why do you lie? Why are you killing yourself? Do you not love me?”

You shake your head furiously “I love you yuta! I love you so much! But it’s lonely without you.”

Yuta trembles upon your remark. Is he the reason you're like this?

Yuta feels bad about your condition, he wants you to return to your healthy self but the doctors all tell him it will take time and patience and a whole lots of determinations!

The medics have to give you fluid foods which sadly you cannot deny. For a week you live from the liquid nutrients injected to your body and for the next month you're forcing yourself to consume food at least a real food.

Yuta takes a break from his promotion, making sure he is with you throughout the process. You feel bad for him, feel pitiful about your condition yet at the same time you hate yourself.

“It's awful Yuta.” You sob as you sit on the toilet floor, after barfing away your dinner once again.

“I'm just wasting food.” You desperately cry and Yuta's there to lend you his shoulder.

“No. Come on, it's not everything! At least your stomach is learning to work and digest again. Come don’t cry my beautiful princess.” He brings back the name he used to call you back on the younger days. You asked him to stop calling you princess after you get older and feel shy about the nickname.

But hearing that from Yuta's own lips, with pure sincerity when he is standing by your side makes you determined to overcome this together with him. For you and for him. For many more memories to make with him and for your future.

“Thank you, Yuta" you whisper before closing your eyes and leaning to his chest because you feel weak.

Yuta kisses the temple of your head “Always and forever my princess.” He hugs you closer to his chest and picks you up to carry you to bed.

“We'll get over this together okay?” You nod “Promise?” he shows you his pinky

You hook your pinky to his “Promise.”

“I love you not for how you look but for who you are.” Yuta slowly say that when you're falling into sleep.

You smile knowing this silly storm in your head will slowly fade with Yuta’s sunshine in your life.

end

[imnotcameraready]

more than beliefs (5: mother knows best)

A/N: still trying at this ! i still don't own any tables so honestly, writing has been kinda hard :') but i'm still up to a polished chapter 7 and know VERY well what is happening in chapter 8, so we're looking pretty good. i wrote all of chivalry chapter by chapter so.....hoping this goes well :'D

WARNINGS: manipulation, plotting a murder, paranoia description, blunt force trauma, assault, amnesia, blood, graphic description of violence — this chapter’s the first doozy! if i missed anything, please let me know!

Words: 4378

AO3 link!

enjoy!! <3

“Now, this might be a controversial opinion, but the second Little Mermaid movie is a top-tier Disney sequel,” the Director said, idly mixing a teaspoon around in his hot chocolate.

Roman scoffed. He was sitting on the Director’s couch, wrapped in a blanket while they watched 2005’s Just Like Heaven starring Mark Ruffalo and Reese Witherspoon. The Director had suggested they watch something from Disney, but while Roman loved the whole library of Disney movies lining his shelf, he couldn’t choose which one he wanted. To his surprise, the Director didn’t have a favorite, either. He’d said he was fond of the cookie-cutter damsel in distress narrative of older Disney stories, which Roman tried (and failed) to take offense to, but did agree that many modern movies like Big Hero 6 had interestingly complex and developed stories.

“I just prefer the expansion on oceanic lore. And I’m a sucker for a good parental storyline, when the former protag takes on the motherly role.” The Director took a sip of his coffee.

“And here I thought you weren’t one of my creative advisors,” Roman said with a smirk, crossing his arms upon his pillowy throne.

The Director scoffed, and as he rolled his eyes Roman could have sworn that he was blushing. Maybe he was embarrassed. “Just because I’m not David doesn’t mean I can’t have opinions on works of art,” he sounded dejected—Roman guessed that was fair. The Dragon and Damsel and Child, most obviously, had strong opinions on art yet no artistic inclinations.

It was still up in the air if the Thief did. It didn’t seem like he had many opinions on things that weren’t consequential to Roman’s direct safety, but he was very quiet. Roman didn’t rule out the possibility of the Thief just not wanting to share that information with him, which was….well. Unfortunate.

Roman wished he got to know his advisors better. Ever since they were separated from him, Roman feels like he’s been at the grinding stone with them all. The Thief had spent the whole wedding either swearing or screaming suggestions angrily, and when he wasn’t, he was comforting an incredibly distraught Bard. The Damsel and Playwright tried to help the most but... He had barely even seen the Artist outside of their creative sessions. He had barely seen the Dragon or Child, period.

The Director was an interesting one. Roman had everyone’s phone numbers, because, well, he wasn’t about to use carrier pigeons. Though that might be super cool to try one day. But the Director was just about the only advisor to casually reach out to him. He would send Roman memes. How did he even get memes? Roman and Remus had created an Imagination-version of the internet, so it was likely from their co-sponsored Imagination Tumblr or something. The Director putting in the effort and time to think of Roman during such small instances was what made Roman feel more comfortable here, though. That’s what made him trust the Director with these sorts of situations. Almost made them closer...

Was that selfish? To favor one part of oneself over others? Surely not. It was similar to recognizing flaws, or pimples and blemishes. Not to say any of the others were blemishes. Drats, even Roman’s internal monologue was demeaning to himself.

“Do you want any more coffee? I’m going to go refill,” the Director’s voice jolted Roman out of his stupor, and he looked up with wide eyes.

“No, I’m okay,” and after a small beat, he added, “Thank you again for housing me. I can’t imagine what Phillip would want to say after yesterday’s debacle.”

The Director scoffed. Roman snuggled into his blanket more, listening to the Director pour himself another mug and reply. “Anytime, Roman,” he chuckled, then put on one of the most outlandishly fake accents Roman’s ever heard. “I live to serve~”

“Sto-op,” Roman groaned, throwing his head back and shooting the Director a glare—well, glaring at the kitchen door. There were walls around all of the rooms here, unlike the Mind Palace.

The Director laughed even more when he returned, sitting on the couch with his legs crossed on the cushion. He held his mug in his hands for a few seconds before talking, tone much more sober.

“I do have to say. I’m surprised I was the one you came to.” The Director’s voice is a little more quiet. “I thought for sure you would have sought comfort with Cadence or Gavin before me.”

Roman blinks. “I guess….I didn’t want to be judged again.” He looked back down at his lap, at the blankets piled up there and his own coziness. “Every time I come back after an argument, or after making a fool of myself, it seems everyone has an opinion on how poorly I handled a situation. None of them really acknowledge….It must have been….”

He’d been a little confused about it, too. The trust issue.

“Janus has strung my emotions along enough for it to be fair that I don’t trust him,” Roman said, voice soft as he tried to put how he’d been feeling into words. “Right?”

That was as close an explanation as he could get to. Because it all boiled down to the trust issue, in his understanding of the situation. As much as Patton wanted him to let go of the situation, Patton was focusing on the mustache quip rather than the whole trust thing. Janus knew Roman had wanted to go to the callback. But Roman also wanted to be a good person, if that’s what Thomas wanted. Thomas wanted to be a good person so Roman also wanted to be a good person.

But when being a good person directly went against Thomas’ dreams, Janus stepped in. And sure, he argued that they weren’t supposed to be self-sacrificial, but wasn’t that a hero’s job? When did a hero ever get to keep anything before sacrificing everything? Isn’t that what made sense?

Janus didn’t even do a good job at explaining it, not until all the damage had already been done. This was different from just giving Roman the perfect set up for a theater display, this was Janus pretending that he wanted what Roman wanted. This was Janus pretending to be his friend but wanting Thomas to...be a bad person?

He didn’t understand. Maybe Patton was right. Maybe Roman just didn’t understand. And that’s what made his disgruntlement so confusing, because in his heart, Roman knew Janus was trying to help, he knew that, he understood. But then why did it hurt so much?

“Oh, honey, he’s gone way past that. Don’t gaslight yourself into thinking he’s been helpful,” Macbeth’s icy voice cut through the thoughts wrangling Roman’s mind.

The Director was so self-assured. It was comforting. He was sitting on the couch, arms crossed as he explained.

“And Patton, Logan, turning around just to say you should let it go and listen to him after he’s lied nine times out of ten?” the Director threw his head back and let out a sharp “Hah! No, your anger is rational. And defensible.”

“Why won’t any of the others agree with that?”

The Director starred at Roman for a minute. Just a little too long. His eyes seemed to press Roman into a corner, under a box. Scrutinized.

They both knew that “others” wasn’t a reference to the other Sides. The Director kept his distance from Roman’s other advisors, he knew that, but Roman didn’t know how far. The Director wasn’t the kind to just watch them, was he?

“They all have their opinions. About Disney and otherwise.” He took another drink of his coffee then shook his head, standing up, motioning for Roman to follow, “May I show you….something. Without you thinking I’m crazy?”

Now, that’s always a fairly worrying question to hear. “No, no, I trust you,” Roman said with a slight grin.

The Director must have been able to see how it waned, because he chuckled, smiled back. “I think we’re all a little zany. But that’s the charm. Phillip is undoubtedly the scariest, as much as Draco tries. The Prince, Damsel, whichever you want, has a noticeable villain complex.”

Wait, what?

The Director raised his hands in mock defeat. Showing his hands, like he were trying to assure Roman that he wasn’t being suspicious. But the hairs on Roman’s neck rose. He led Roman to the door just besides Roman’s room. When he first started visiting the Director, he explained that this was his study. Roman had never gone in. Because, you know, when you respect someone you also respect their privacy.

“I’ve only ever spoken to Marlowe, but, you know. I’m the Director of players I can never meet. I had to take notes,” he added the final part quietly.

He glanced over the combination button pad on the door. Roman hadn’t noticed that. What room would require a combination lock? And who would be….Was it to keep him out? Or someone else? Maybe the Playwright, the Director mentioned he’d been over before. Keep anyone out, it seemed.

“I….notes?” he was flabbergasted. What the fuck was happening?

“Yeah.” The Director opened the door slowly and motioned for Roman to follow.

Inside were papers. One wall was a large tackboard, photos and sticky notes and papers pinned up, connected with lines of colored yarn. Roman felt his mouth fall open as he inspected it. There were notes on all of his advisors, all seven of the others, even some of people Roman didn’t know. There was someone with four eyes. Someone with antlers. Who were they? How did this all fit together?

Why in Athena’s name did the Director have corkboard notes on the other advisors? That was a lot more than a little weird.

“I...You’re wonderful, Roman. So productive and pristine and princely, as you deserve to be. But there are some areas where you can stand to improve.” Roman was probably only processing some of the Director’s words as he rolled up his sleeves and pulled out a metal stick, one that looked oddly like a wand.

He held it in one hand, and suddenly it extended, until it was a pointer. The Director held both ends of it and watched Roman for a reaction, a response, something.

“I would have to agree,” Roman stumbled over his words a little, eyes still glued to the notes—there were some by the Child that read ‘Naive/Trusting/Problem?’—before he slowly turned back to the Director with a weak grin once again. “I mean, I might be pristinely princely, but those P alliterations don’t include perfect. No one’s perfect.”

“It may be an unattainable dream, but we’re well familiar with those. We can only strive for improvement! And when improving you and yourself, that means making changes to them,” the Director gestured up at the wall of photos, of the parts of Roman’s self, and smacked the Child’s photo with his pointer. “I actually only thought I would be reading these notes, so forgive me for any, er. Sharp language.”

Roman knew that self-improvement meant adopting new mindsets, but he had no idea that putting parts of himself into characters involved changing them as well, though it did make sense. Self-insert characters had to change if you were changing the self that was being inserted. Right?

If he wanted to improve….it made sense. He had to change himself, including the facets of himself.

“That’s fair,” Roman murmured, “Okay. These….You could take these notes to the other advisors. Surely they’d accept it?”

“At this point, I don’t know who would kill me faster,” the Director scoffed, then gestured at the Damsel’s notes, a cluster of sticky notes and drawings and photos of the Damsel at a well enough distance that it was closer to stalker-ish. “Phillip wouldn’t want competition. Marlowe agrees that he can be quite standoffish when threatened, and a newcomer claiming to be one of Roman’s advisors? Someone who doesn’t have his respect in a royal manner?”

The Director pointed to the Thief now, a even more grave expression adorning his face. “And Eric. Tell me you think he would accept a newcomer of any kind. Just tell me. Especially near Gavin. And the Child himself probably wouldn’t like me.”

Well, that sounded off. Roman leaned on the wall besides the door, back against his hands as he continued to inspect the wall. There were notes on the other advisors’ behaviors, their antics.

For some reason, Roman could almost imagine Janus or Logan doing this. It was something close to weird and something else close to endearing. Was that weird?

“Why not? Gavin’s pretty trusting.” Roman didn’t look away from the wall as he replied.

“In fairness, he might like me, but I don’t know if I could ever come around to liking him. He’s the root source of all our issues, especially our present issue with Janus, Patton, Logan. Even past issues with Remus, if I’m remembering them properly. What Gavin represents allows us to be easily swayed.”

That got Roman to look away, look down at the Director. He was glaring up at the Child’s photo with something fierce, which startled Roman enough. I mean, that was a whole child there. What would inspire this much hatred?

“Really now?” Roman wanted to know.

“He gets us to let our guard down. It’s at Gavin’s behest we take chances, but it’s that same honesty that leads us to broken promises, taking in lies like they’re candy. I don’t know what I would do with him,” the Director sounded disappointed.

That was a fair analysis. All of the advisors—the Playwright, the Thief, the Child, Bard, Artist, Dragon, Damsel, Director—they all represented different parts of Roman, similar to how the Sides represented parts of Thomas. In theory, they worked together. In practice, that was far from the truth, but Roman knew for his sake that they were trying their best.

They all oversaw different parts of Roman’s psyche, too. The Playwright, for example, was most similar to Logan in that he represented Roman’s research and organization, on a creative and egotistical level. The Playwright—Marlowe—could be trusted with knowing how many liters of blood were in the human body as well as every one of the Sides’ favorite karaoke songs, even the exact time and date they met Nico.

The Child was Roman’s belief, his ability to dream. It was fair to assume that that made him the most naïve part. Perhaps it was even a fair conclusion that the debacles with Janus were caused by what the Child represented.

Roman hadn’t thought of it like that. The last time he’d talked to the Child, Gavin, about the situation, he had seem incredibly disappointed.

He’d never stopped to ask what the Child was disappointed in, though. Was he disappointed in Roman? Or in himself? Did the Child know he was the one who had pushed Roman to trust Janus? Did….There was no way that this was….the Child’s fault. Was it?

“Huh.” Roman’s voice echoed emptily to himself. A pit opened in his stomach, something difficult to grasp. The root cause of his burdens couldn’t be his ability to dream. His dreams themselves, his hopes, his beliefs. He….he was the daydreamer, the creator. That couldn’t be a flaw, could it?

The Director watched him, but Roman hardly noticed. It was only for a few seconds, too, of stoic silence before the Director interrupted his thoughts with a huff, looked across the board. “This is quite a bit of insight at once. Maybe we should finish the movie.”

“Director?”

Roman and the Director both turned to the open doorway, the later slapping a hand over his own mouth immediately. With a flick of his wrist, the door closed quietly, clicking just loud enough for the both of them to hear. They also heard the Playwright in the living room, footsteps echoing faintly on the stone floor.

“Director?” the Playwright called out again.

“Fuck,” the Director whispered. This must have been an unplanned visit.

“What? We can just go out and say hello,” Roman said back, though his demeanor and body language spoke of worry, almost fear.

The Playwright was well known to be a pacifist. And the Playwright knew about the Director, knew about Roman knowing the Director. He was a little surprised to find that the Playwright didn’t know the Director’s name was Macbeth, but Roman knew the Director to be a man of secrets.

“He doesn’t know I….He doesn’t know you’re here. He barely knows we talk,” the Director looked around the room and pressed a hand to one of the walls, “Fuck. How are we going to get him out?”

The rock beneath the Director’s hand morphs into a doorway and he opens it. The Playwright was standing in the living room, close to the front door to the home. He looked up at them both, eyes widening when he met Roman’s. Before Roman could say anything, even think of something to say, the Playwright spoke with ease.

“Roman’s here? Thank goodness. Virgil’s come looking for him,” he gave Roman a small smile, strained but caring all the same.

“Ah.” Roman stiffened. Virgil came looking for him? In the Imagination? Why? How? He didn’t have his own passage into this space yet, how’d he get here?

He didn’t want to talk to Virgil. As supportive as he’d been, especially when it came to taking care of Thomas, there were still some areas where Roman wanted to be alone, wanted to process his thoughts alone. Virgil was...vindictive. Which was a strong word to use, but an apt one. Virgil’s distaste in Janus made it hard for Roman to form his own thoughts, which was why he often tried away from Virgil as much as Patton.

He wasn’t ready for that kind of confrontation, and the Director must have been able to tell, because he physically looked like he didn’t want Roman to go.

“I actually didn’t expect to find you here, though I’m not entirely surprised,” the Playwright must not have been privy to these feelings, glancing between the Director and Roman, shock still gracing his features.

“Really now,” the Director said, tilting his head, “Why not?”

“I just didn’t know Roman had met you, but of course, even I’m not as omniscient as Creativity himself,” the Playwright stepped closer, reaching toward Roman. “You have to come up, though. Virgil said everyone’s worried.”

Roman starred at the Playwright’s hand, unsure of what to do with the gesture. He knew everyone would be worried, on a baseline. Closed doors didn’t do well around the Mind Palace, especially his, especially after his splitting incident, but that didn’t mean he had to cater to everyone else’s worry. He was allowed privacy.

Before he formulated a response, though, the Director placed a hand in front of Roman. His smile toward the Playwright turned sour, lips pursed in a mix of thought and anger.

“He doesn’t have to go see Virgil if he doesn’t want to.” Roman felt some of the tension in his shoulder alleviate at the Director’s statement, as basic as it was.

The Playwright, on the other hand, didn’t seem to understand. He looked between Roman and the Director again, surprised even further by how familiar they seemed. There had been a fair amount of transparency in Roman’s relationships with all of the other advisors that there must be some dissonance to see him be so familiar with someone he hadn’t even expected Roman to know. Something about that surprise, the bait and switch, the lie, felt fulfilling.

“It wouldn’t be difficult to alleviate Virgil’s worried and tell him to leave again,” the Playwright explained slowly. “I’m sure, if Roman told him he wanted privacy, he would understand.”

“I’m sure, if Virgil could understand that, then he wouldn’t have tread where he shouldn’t. You can’t make him do anything.” The Director’s voice grew darker, hand unwavering.

“Make him?” the Playwright sounded so confused.

Roman was also confused where the Director’s notion came from, but it was validating to hear reminders that Roman’s decisions were his to make. But nothing in the Playwright’s tone was forceful.

For a moment, it seemed as though the Playwright would drop his confusion.

Until he took a step forward, toward the Director and Roman, with one hand outstretched. Roman didn’t know what he’d been planning, but he knew the Playwright wasn’t a sporadic man. He hated adding physicality to situations where debate and discussion could suffice. So, in hindsight, it was likely the Playwright was reaching out to make peace.

The moment passed in mere seconds.

He was taller than the Director by a noticeable few inches, so the Director bent his knees. He pushed Roman behind him with his outstretched arm, acting faster than either Roman or the Playwright could react to. The Director stuck his leg out and grabbed the Playwright by the fabric of his shirt, behind his neck. The Playwright, surprised by the sudden movements, tripped on his leg and let out a sharp gasp of surprise.

Besides them was the living room coffee table. As the Playwright fell, the Director redirected his head toward the table, shoving him away from Roman.

It felt very spur of the moment, and it happened in a true moment. The Playwright let out a scream, sharp and fearful, before his forehead collided with the edge of the metal table. He fell beneath it unconscious. Blood pooled at the Director’s feet as he stood back up.

Roman’s hands shot to his face immediately, as soon as the Playwright started falling, and he could only stare in horror at the scene. The Director, too, seemed shocked at his own reaction. He starred at his blood-stained socks for a little while, breathing heavy enough for Roman to hear. It must be the adrenaline.

“I,” the Director’s voice caught in his throat.

Roman watched. Just watched. The Director swallowed, turning around to face Roman with a mirroring horrified expression, eyes wide with surprise. “You have to make him forget.”

“What?” Roman’s voice was strained, almost a whisper, and he cleared his throat to repeat. “Excuse me?”

What kind of request….?

“If Marlowe remembers this, we’re fucked. He knows you’re here. He’s going to think I attacked him. I-I did attack him,” The Director took a slow breath, turning to look at the body on the ground before shaking his head—unable to look. “David is going to kill me.

“Make him forget. He can stay here. For a bit. We can figure this out,” he put his hands up towards Roman. “We-The other Sides’re gonna follow Virgil. We both know that. And, uh. Only Marlowe knew I was here. So we’ve got time to figure out how to, uh. Play this off.”

Roman starred at him with wide eyes. The past two days had been such a long mess, he didn’t know what to do. Physically, he could remove the Playwright memories. He’d be a blank slate of a character, only backstory. What would that do? The Playwright’s backstory was that he was the Playwright. He didn’t have some elaborate parent-death or chosen-one-esque story that he could fall back on. Poor bastard wasn’t even the one who had Roman’s memories prior.

But the Director was right, in a way. If they wanted more time to think about everything—the other Sides were looking for him? How did Virgil get in here? Why would he be looking for Roman, it wasn’t uncommon for him to stomp away from a verbal duel, why now?—then they couldn’t have the Playwright ratting them out.

When he manipulated the Imagination directly, his powers were red. Remus’ were green. It was distinctive. So when Roman sank down, put a hand on the back of the Playwright’s head, his hand turned red.

It blended in with the blood.

Roman felt vile. He had to do this, or else the others would find him. A quiet, dull part of his mind told him that didn’t matter but….he didn’t want to be found. He didn’t.

He pulled gently, as though tugging the thoughts out, and something glistened red and gold as he did. Then, Roman let it go, and it disappeared. It reminded him a little of Dumbledore pulling his own memories out in Harry Potter. Roman didn’t feel much the chosen one, either, though.

“There,” he said quietly.

The Director let out a soft breath. It didn’t sound like either of them knew what to do, to be fair. Maybe the Director hadn’t even expected this.

“I’ll….here.” The Director looked up and pointed at the wall behind the couch.

The couch scooted forward a little, enough for there to be a walkway behind it, and the room simultaneously pulled away from the couch. Then, a door formed on the wall. It clicked once, then swung open. Another room.

Roman stood still, staring at his hands—was that magic or blood?—while the Director leaned down to pick the Playwright up. The man hadn’t moved since being bludgeoned by the table.

“Under the sink in the bathroom is a first aid kit,” the Director said, voice stoic, taking the reins on the situation, “I’ll make him a bedroom and bandage his head. Then he can stay for a day or two. We must figure out what to do, about the other Sides and about Marlowe.”

That was fair. He’d only stay a little.

Dimly, Roman remembered that this was the Imagination, he mastered this world, so he could technically get rid of the Playwright’s wound. He could get rid of his memory and the wound and send him right back to his home, right back to the Artist, good as normal and none the wiser.

But….something in the back of his head stopped him. And the Director pulled him into the other room faster than Roman could overcome whatever clouded thoughts were plaguing him.

[jcylenz]

pearson 1.05&06

last week my opinion didn’t get written, a lot of things happened all at once and it got pushed to the end of the list, which is a shame because it was my favorite episode by far in the entire show so far (partly because of the heavily keri centricness of the episode and partly because of the themes it dealt with), so i figured i’d write about the two episodes together

long ass rant after the read more

1.05

again, definitely the best episode of the season so far, even after watching the new episode this morning

let’s jump right into keri’s story first, because holy shit, they really took it to a whole new level and i loved it. for one, i loved watching the flashbacks, seeing keri wanting to be good, and seeing her stumble into a situation where she is faced with her mentor doing unethical shit and has to decide what to do. this is how she stumbles into bobby, and god was i glad that in the beginning their situations were different. sure, he was still married, but he was seperated and ready to leave, but my guess is that the illness of his wife came in and after that he felt like he couldn’t leave. i am still not a fan of the relationship, but it makes a lot more sense why keri would go into something like that and then feelings got involved and there was no going back from there

still it certainly came to bite her in the ass when her former boss/mentor tries to get revenge with some fake allegations, his true intent being to reveal the relationship between keri and bobby and basically ruin keri’s job in the process for sure. i loved that they made it clear that yes, keri was protecting bobby, but she was mostly scared about her image and trying to protect herself. probably this is why she didn’t go to bobby in the first place but jessica. and i hate that she was right, that it is different for women and that a women could never recover from something like this while a man could walk away laughing and his name untarnished, but that is the world we live in and joy’s performance in that scene with jessica and generally in the entire episode was just amazing and incredible and i cried. she really is an amazing actress and shows the complexity of keri’s character in such amazing ways, i was living for it all

and her relationship with jessica really started off now. they started off as two women with opposing ideas, and now they have mutual trust and respect for each other and i love the development so fucking much. now we can see them slowly start working together and rely on each other and become friends, which i love. honestly, the very core and heart of the show for me is the relationship between these two women and the women in general, so i was here for all of this

now, speaking of jessica, her story felt like it took a backseat in this season, but still, what we got, i really loved. i am coming to love her relationship with nick more and more and i have a feeling they are building towards the two of them getting together sooner or later (probably later), and i can get behind that (even though the true couple goal would be jessica and keri, let’s be real, and i’ll never stop shipping them). the scene where jessica opened up about her husband’s illness was so strong and powerful and it was a joy to watch, really

and then there was the yoli and derrick plot line which... honestly? i felt like it was there only to feature the characters, get a little drama between them and fill up time. we haven’t seen anything new from them. granted, i love yoli trying to figure out when to speak her mind and when to keep quiet, it’s a really interesting and controversial topic, but it still felt like just filler

1.06

generally speaking i liked the episode, but i still felt like it was mostly filler and a build up to the endgame of the season, which i think will start with the next episode for sure

this episode focused more on the family aspect of the show and pat mcgan, too, and i liked that.

seeing angela again was a joy, i love that woman so much and i love the relationship between jessica and her and how it is slowly building brick by brick. i feel so bad about her and her home, but i am really happy that she accepted jessica’s offer and now they will be living together for a while, i hope it’s gonna be lots of cuteness and fun stuff (probably not, but still, a girl can hope, right?)

that being said, i was really pissed at jeff this whole episode. him expecting jessica to throw everything and just focus on him when he was the one who threw a hissy fit and left when jessica didn’t do what he wanted her to, and then gets pissed when her family shows up - i really didn’t like him. and him being like “they are stranger”, i literally wanted to scream at him that yeah, that is the whole point of this. that they are strangers and jessica is trying to get to know them, get close to them, become family with them after all these years. and you being angry at that is just annoying and i hate it. and then he “did the right thing” and went to angela but really, angela was right, it was only all about him, and i was like “YESS GO CALL HIM OUT” honestly the men in this show are mostly annoying and pissing me off

speaking of men, bobby and his “generous” i-don’t-want-you-to-put-your-life-on-hold bullshit. If you truly didn’t want that, you would have stopped toying with keri. i get it, you love her, but you decided to be with your wife through her illness. so be with your wife. he really wants to have the cake and eat it at the same time and i am not here for it. i just want keri to get over him and find somebody who will treat her like the queen she is, like she deserves to be treated

we got a bit of yoli and derrick and their relationship is certainly interesting, and honestly, i love yoli as a whole, but nothing much happened to them again so i was kinda meh about it all. that scene, though, when she got praised and was told she was a keeper and that cute little smile of hers as she was pointedly looking at the camera and nowhere else GOSH SHE WAS SOOO CUTE

and then the main story with mcgann - jessica is really stirring up shit that is gonna bite the in the ass sooner rather than later, and i am here for jessica to kick ass and ruin mcgann already, honestly, he is a dick, but i am also terrified what it will bring for the rest of the characters. jessica is being badass, but in this case, she is really the person with the least to lose it feels like, which means she can easily go against him, but it also means others might be collateral damage and i am terrified who will be the one to draw the shortest straw. and again, i keep thinking about how the mayor’s actor, morgan spector is only listed as special guest star in the credits, so maybe we are leading up to the mayor potentially taking the fall for all the shit or maybe even get killed, which would ensure lots and lots of craziness for season two and the roles would certainly be all new for sure

that being said, i loved jessica in this episode, she was badass as always and i love seeing her work

also i wonder what’s on the tape - if it’s something related to bobby’s past that he got blackmailed with during the flashbacks or if it has something to do with keri and their relationship - cause that thing is certainly getting out, i have no doubt about it, the question is when and how

so all in all, definitely two good episodes, one was bamf, the other was good in a filler way, and i am looking forward to next week

[kittae]

Catastrophic Karaoke

Pairing: BTS OT7 x reader

Genre: light comedy? lol idk, Vampire!AU

words: 1516

Warnings: strong language, mentions of blood, fainting

Disclaimer: prompt found on @writing-prompt-s and used some oneliners from this list, also inaccurate representation of Goth culture as a whole with no ill intentions.

⟶ Halloween prompts masterlist

You’re not entirely sure how you ended up here, if you’re being honest. ‘Here’ being standing in the middle of a living room that isn’t your own, your shirt drenched with blood that isn’t yours and surrounded by a group of wide-eyed men while My Chemical Romance on Singstar still blares in the background.

“Um… is this...?” You gesture at your chest, the dark fluid sticking to your naked skin through the formerly white cotton of your T-shirt after Namjoon’s spilled the content of his cup all over it. You still cling onto the smallest shred of hope, the minuscule possibility that maybe they just like to make their party punch this deep red and...thick. Even when the trenchant smell of rusty iron keeps filtering through your nose and making you sick to your stomach.

“___-, we can explain.” Namjoon grimaces upon watching you gag, Jin’s eyebrows shooting up to make a face that translates to ‘We can?’.

“It’s not not blood.” Taehyung helpfully contributes to the situation, earning pained groans from the older men and a fistbump from the only younger one.

“Oh my– Whose blood is this?!”

Hoseok snorts in slight disbelief, although accompanied by a smirk of pure amusement. “Uh, not the question i’d thought you’d ask but okay.”

Jimin furrows his eyebrows, confused. “Wait, what question should she be asking then?”

“Answer the damn question!” You shriek, already in the process of peeling off the blood-drenched article of clothing as any ounce of shame gets thrown out of the window along with your dignity, to make place for skin-crawling horror as you strip down to your bra.

“Don’t worry, ___-, we’re not monsters. People consent to getting their blood taken when they volunteer.” Namjoon tries to placate the circumstances but quite possibly only manages to make it worse.

“People volunteer to get their blood taken from them?!”

“Well, duh? As if you’ve never donated blood before?” Hoseok counters.

“Yes, Hoseok, to the fucking hospital!”

“Exactly! Which is our main source, so it’s all morally justified! Aside from the fact we don’t exactly have permission to take those donations.” He pulls a face. “Oops.”

“Have you ever considered you’re taking this whole thing way too far? Like, out of the seven of you, there was not one of you who didn’t want to be a part of this sick shit? I knew you guys were hardcore but you’re drinking human blood! What the fuck, you guys?!” You angrily throw your hands up and allow yourself to breathe after your breathless rant.

The group exchanges worried looks before Jin speaks up, talking slowly as if he’s trying to make something clear to a toddler. “___-, we don’t really have much of a choice…”

Watching how your expression goes from angry and disgusted to utterly confused and lost, Jimin comes to rub your back in an attempt to comfort you. “Oh honey, we thought you knew…”

“What?” You ask, voice significantly smaller now you’re suddenly not sure about your earlier convictions anymore. An even crazier thought briefly crosses your mind, though you quickly push it to the back just when jimin’s compassionate voice forms a strong contrast with the words he speaks.

“That we’re vampires. We just thought that, you know...You knew.” He shrugs a little sheepishly.

“Vampires? No, you’re just hardcore goths. Like wannabe vampires because there’s no such thing as...Actual vampires. You’re just pretending!” Nervous laughter bubbles up your throat as you try to make light of the situation by treating it as a joke. Of course it’s a joke! “You’re just messing with me for Halloween, aren’t you? With the fake blood and all, you almost got me there! Ha ha!”

Instead of the expected roaring laughter, an uncomfortable silence fills the entire room for ten excruciating seconds before Hoseok releases a fake breath. “Well, this is awkward.”

“Speaking of awkward, where’s Yoongi?” Jungkook suddenly remarks, pointing out the elder’s absence for the first time that night.

Yoongi! He hates pranks even more than you do, so he’d definitely be on your side when you tell him how the others tried to scare you!

“Probably still sleeping downstairs– Wait, ___-, where are you going?!” Namjoon calls out for you, alarmed, when he watches you sprint down the stairs and into the basement.

“You don’t think she…. She’s not going to…?” Jimin sputters, eyes wide in fear.

Namjoon nods his head, a sad and sorry expression marring his handsome face. “May she rest in peace.”

It’s not like you’ve never seen the basement before, but every time you visit the underground room, the view still manages to astound you. Most people have a clear picture of what basements should look like and more often than not it’s a bare, cold place where you just stock firewood, wine and cans of peas or something. Well, picture the complete opposite and this is it. It’s spacious, cozy and fully furnitured including seven luxurious coffins. You stopped asking questions a long time ago, taking your friends’ odd lifestyle choices not too seriously. Some people just get really into their subculture and that’s completely fine. Who are you to judge, right? 

“Yoongi.” You call, three polite knocks on the rich black oak of the closed coffin signaling your presence.

The cover of the casket opens slowly, mechanically, until it reveals the sleeping form of a pale and black-haired man, eyes closed and brows furrowed in a displeased frown.

“Who has the audacity to wake me up but not actually die?” He murmurs, still not opening his eyes and laying as static as a real corpse.

“Yoongi, you have to get up there. They’re all messing with me and I need you to tell them to knock it off.” You plead, feeling slightly guilty for interrupting your friend’s nap but you seriously need an ally up there.

“Oh, it’s you. Why is that my problem?” He peels one blood-red eye open to watch you pout down on him. “Where is your shirt?”

“They also opened your one hundred year old bottle of whiskey.”

The little white lie doesn’t miss its effect as Yoongi’s practically jumping out of the coffin to sprint upstairs, and that’s saying something considering you rarely saw him doing more exercise than moving from the couch to the basement and back.

“Which one of you fucktards opened my father’s whiskey?! Answer me!” You hear his voice thunder from the living room before you join them again.

“Ooh, fucktard! That’s new!” Hoseok quips and whips out a small notebook to quickly write something down. “By the way, ___- thinks we’re either hardcore goths or pranking her and she lied to get you out of the coffin.”

“She thinks we’re what?”

“Goths. Google it.”

Yoongi begrudgingly does as the younger man says and fishes his phone out of the pocket of his robes, briefly scrolling through the results and shrugging. “They have no idea what it’s like being a real vampire but i like their style.”

“Yeah. Apparently some even drink each other’s blood, too.”

“Humans do? Wild.”

You can’t believe your own eyes. Yoongi, playing along with all of this?!

“Look,” You raise your voice, sternly planting your hands above your hips, “I may not be the sharpest tool in the… toolbox. But I’m not buying this vampire crap! And someone give me a fresh shirt, for fuck’s sake!”

“Honestly, ___-, we really are vampires. I just thought you already knew.” Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“Some of you wear cross necklaces. Jimin wears silver rings.” You counter.

“So?”

“I don’t see any of you catching fire?!”

The long overdue collective laughter finally resounds through the living room and a shred of relief washes over you when you think they’ve finally decided to drop the act because they can’t keep it up anymore. So you wished.

“Sweetie, those are just rumours from hundreds of years ago. I can’t believe you’d still fall for those.” Jimin manages to enlighten you between laughing fits after falling off the couch.

“So what, I’ve accidentally joined a vampire coven, then?” You ask, sarcasm dripping from every word.

“Yeah, pretty much. We thought you were funny so we decided to keep you.” Taehyung answers seriously, but still flashes a warm, boxy grin at you.

A wide, boxy grin. A toothy grin. Two long, pointy teeth. Fangs.

As you look around the room, at your friends still roaring with laughter, you start noticing the same lengthened teeth with sharpened ends in each of their smiles until everything goes dark before your eyes and the last thing you see is the Singstar mic rolling out of your hand and onto the ground.

The laughter stops abruptly, another tense silence taking place as they all stare at your limp body on the floor in shock.

“I found a T-shirt...” Jungkook feebly announces, holding up the shirt he’d just gone to get you from downstairs only to find you knocked out cold.

Hoseok takes a hesitant sip from his own cup. “This is going to sound controversial, but I think that went well.”

[bezazzled]

more quotes that nobody asked for

my friends are really dumb sometimes there’s some ns//fw in here, change pronouns to fit also sorry this one’s extremely long lmao, i’ve heard a lot since i last posted one of these. i’ll be nice and throw it in a readmore for dash convenience

“What if I don’t want extra bones?” “I got a backstack on I’ll still drop this ass what you doin’.” “The trap card is me! Fuck!” “Hey, how many voices do you have in your head?” “Hang on, lemme count how many skittles are in this bag and then I’ll tell you.” “Milk neutralizes the evil.” “Yo, that is piss accurate.” “Vote for me and maybe I won’t piss on your dick.” “That’s not Pepsi, that is straight carbonation water.” “If the word ‘toy’ was a person, it’d be that really annoying kid in your class that acts really fuckin’ dumb because he thinks it’s funny.” “No, listen, what if we only existed... on weekends?” “If you hard, you hard.” “This has been a public service announcement, brought to you by paper fuckers.” “Do you want weed lotion?” “This is why we pick apples, so they can’t touch our teeth.” “Do bees have souls?” “Don’t slurp the chocolate pudding. That’s not okay.” “You made me talk about my kinks again, damn it!” “Y’all eat your rice krispies all at once or one at a time?” “My face is two inches long.” “It’s in first person AND backwards.” “So you met H.P. Lovecraft as a hemispherical dresser?” “Things don’t last, but dick jokes are forever.” “How do you fight a man that’s a hundred percent nut?” “I am a really attractive salmon.” “All the weak chips are at the bottom.” “Choke on cotton candy, you amazing fucker.” “I’m offended by my own existence.” “I’m the wing boy!” “Are you telling me that tops deal with internalized homophobia?” “Just for that, I’m forcing you to kin me.” “You’re just a fish.” “We could always play youtube, youtube is multiplayer.” “He’s a burnt piece of toast with some peanut butter on it.” “What the fuck is a sport?” “I didn’t know his name so I’m the homophobe.” “Just spilled water all over me because I’m a dirty water whore.” “Oh dude, that’s a fuck good thought.” “My legs are made of meat.” “I can’t wait to die because Republicans.” “Your sexuality is heterphobia, you’re welcome.” “He is at least seventy-five percent done at all times.” “Apply at your local grocery store. They’re always hiring and don’t care if you’ve committed a crime.” “Oh, I forgot, you’re a napkin.” “Brains are wrong sometimes.” “If anyone’s a bad significant other, it’s me. Call me signif-I-can’t.” “I got paid to eat chicken, bitch!” “I am the god of your happiness.” “Go be unhappy in your unhappy pants.” “Oh look, now they’re offering existential dread meals.” “Welcome to the SS, here’s your shitty trash meme pistol.” “I would a hundred percent dedicate my entire life to the first person who buys me a subway sandwich right now.” “That’s my life. Just one big dab.” “We’ll be stroke twins.” “Time is fake, fuck you.” “I am a dribbling bag of sodium and carbon.” “Sorry for the flex, I’ll go.” “It’s not my birthday anymore, cowards.” “One thing I liked about becoming you is that I got to call everyone a coward and I didn’t have to feel bad about it.” “You thought it was over? Ha. The central time zone exists.” “I’m really not drunk enough to dance right now.” “I’m into... Animal Farm... That’s about... communism...” “His mouth is like a triangle.” “Black holes are the bisexual agenda.” “A man just needs to not exist sometimes.” “Good noodlin’, brother.” “I will take mayonnaise to get my mayonnaise.” “Why am I always up to something in your brain? Maybe sometimes I’m just stupid.” “Fucking spelling is stupid.” “You need triangles?” “I think celery tastes like the devil’s armpit, and you can fight me.” “You wanna join me in the bitchening?” “Don’t forget, your dad flossed today.” “It walks like it’s got a whole tree in its ass.” “My eyes are absolutely burning. The sun is an asshole.” “Oh, good! I wasn’t sure that the English language existed.” “Eat grapes with your duck!” “The seventies can suck my ass!” “Please don’t make me eat my sarcasm.” “Real allies let us shut the fuck up.” “Do you think love can bloom in a Taco Bell?” “I don’t need drugs because I already don’t make any sense as it is. I wish I was a breadstick.” “Yeah, I’m just not that passionate about soup.” “Unless something of minor inconvenience happens, I cannot cry.” “Who else tryin’a start beef with onion boy by calling him a Shrek offspring?” “Is this almost over? I’m gonna have stage four cancer.” “This movie is a fucking fake.” “The amount of gay I am is rising significantly, and that’s really saying something.” “Heterosexuality is stored in the boobs.” “Pepsi man is my polar opposite in these trying times.” “Everyone go to the nut house group chat, I’m about to post a link.” “One day I’ll be successful, and one day after that I’ll be able to write without going through all seven stages of gay after writing one word.” “Hey, wanna hear something controversial? I don’t care.” “Would you fistfight a kindergartner for fifty bucks?” “I’d fistfight a kindergartner for a dollar and a Reese’s cup.”

[thesportssoundoff]

A word on the ole elephant in the Barclay’s Center

Joey

Jan 15th

So I was working on my card write up for the UFC's ESPN debut and there's obviously a big elephant in the room regarding the co-main event. There's plenty of things I wanted to say or believe in saying and it was taking attention away from the card. It was getting way too long and so I figured I'd just do a separate bit on the entire situation. It's probably going to be a bit messy and perhaps a touch convoluted but I'm hoping that I can at least get some concepts out here. It's my "job" on here to be kind of rational and fair. Gonna put it under the read more just in case some people don't want a big wall of text given I've got ANOTHER wall of text coming re: actual fight business.

I want to begin with an irritable point of contention I have about not so much Greg Hardy but of a fake concept in MMA some people keep clinging to. Guys if I could, I would love to shout this to the heavens: There is NO such concept in MMA as earn nor deserve. Nobody earns anything and nobody deserves anything. We've seen it a million times now. Earn and deserve are fake in this sport and the longer we continue to believe in it, the more irritating it gets. There is no earn. There is no deserve.  There is truly no meritocracy here and the UFC has shown us that time and time again. Asking if Greg Hardy has "earned the right to be on the first ever ESPN card?" Idiotic. What has Alonzo Menifield done? Chance Rencountre? Who determines who has "earned" such an honor? Okay who determines who deserved it? The same company that felt has bent its unofficial playbook for dudes like Jon Jones and Conor McGregor? Think of all the fighters who have "earned" title shots and had them taken away or fighters who deserved spots on a main card only to be buried on the prelims due to their fighting style or in some cases whether or not their contract was expiring. I hate to be the dickhead here but we need to stop debating earn and deserve because it's fake. Combat sports make it fake and then revel in us getting tied up about something they don't care about.

Keeping with that point, remember that at the end of the day everybody has the same moral compass. The goal with this show is to get a rating and get ESPN+ subs and I'm 100% sure that if ESPN felt Greg Hardy on the first card was a problem they would've stopped it. ESPN has the authority and the say so here and yet here we are with him still on the card. Every organization has the same moral compass; they're all trying to sell you something. I had this conversation on the DojoTalkPodcast pertaining to the idea of asking forms of entertainment to handle issues they're ill-equipped to deal with---primarily because it collides with the end result of making money. Random guess that ESPN and the UFC had a meeting about it, the UFC said "We think he can generate X amount of interest" and so ESPN sucked it up and went with it. Greg Hardy is probably the second biggest story on this card for better or worse and to be honest if there's interest being driven? It's him. The show looks like it's on path to sell out so it's not like Greg Hardy is sending people away. Again all promotions are trying to make money here and if that means having to buddy up with a guy like Greg Hardy, that's what they'll do in the long run. If this truly irks you then understand that you have plenty of people to get mad at; not just the UFC here. All parties, all involved.  They all dug deep into this together and so here we are.

I object to the idea that Greg Hardy is getting a second chance. It's really more like a third chance and potentially even a fourth if we're being honest. Greg Hardy was talented enough at Ole Miss to be a 1st round pick and wound up going in the 6th round because teams had genuine concerns over his character and work ethic. That's chance one. Chance two came in Carolina where he worked himself up into a potential major payday and then he screwed himself over with the DV incident. In a sympathetic NFL, Hardy could've come back with a bigger long term payday had he just kept himself out of trouble in Dallas. As a Cowboys fan, I can tell you there were heavy rumblings toward the end of the year that he was toxic and divisive that the Cowboys were thinking of cutting him before December was out. Chance three. Hardy was essentially blackballed from the NFL despite his talent level and his response to this was to eventually get arrested for cocaine possession and other offenses. The UFC is not a second chance for Greg Hardy to earn big money. Maybe it's a second chance from a spiritual or personal perspective but I'm not even sure that fits either. Greg Hardy is what he is; a troubled yet talented individual who has historically not learned from his mistakes. To a fault, I'm really big on second chances and multiple chances for people because human beings are faulty machines who make mistakes and absolutely in my opinion capable of learning and improving. At the same time, I do not in any way shun people who don't believe this person is capable of fixing himself or making good on the repeated opportunities his talent allows. They have history on their side.

It's possible to A) feel as though Greg Hardy being on the same card as PVZ/Rachael Ostovich is tone deaf and B) be ultimately okay with is so long as Ostovich is okay with it. I wouldn't of done it, think it's borderline arrogant and invites unwanted controversy but if the person or people most likely to be impacted by it are fine with it then it's whatever I guess. This feels like a self inflicted wound from an organization that has enough scars from its own stubborness/arrogance.

HAVING SAID THAT, let's address a problem MMA has to find a way to correct and I suppose the same goes for combat sports as a whole. We totally need to find a way to get around the "I'm paying/watching to see you lose" aspect of things. Greg Hardy is here probably 50% in part that there's a bloodthirsty audience willing to wait and wait for the day when he eventually loses. It's that weird primal urge people have that feeds the not so good aspects of human nature. It also creates situations like this where people get mad about something, wait for what they feel is the karmic payoff and if it happens then it's this big pop. The problem is this isn't pro wrestling where we can script who wins and loses and so a bunch of folks who want that release get stifled and it turns ugly. I remember Rumble fights being like that; primarily because people who were so vehemently opposed to him would tune in or pay money to see him lose and then break down when he wouldn't. There's something really unhealthy about that aspect of combat sports and the longer it keeps working and promoters can manipulate it, the longer we're going to have to deal with all of this.

Feels pretty cop out-y to not say if I'm watching or not. I'll be watching on Saturday for a variety of reasons. The first is I promised Alex I'd cover just about every UFC card I could and to this date I think I've missed three; one for a power outage, one because I couldn't see after eye surgery and a third because I was sick (and even then I jumped in halfway through). I'm not going to let Greg Hardy force me to slack on what I said I'd do. I'll also be watching because it's a damn good card and I'm excited to see a lot of it. I also do, and I hate to tell people this knowing the response, think Greg Hardy is going to be a serious thing in this HW division when all is said and done. Will he be good enough to win a title? Probably not. I have SERIOUS doubts he stays out of trouble long enough to not even make it two years into the UFC. That said he's my Adrien Broner I guess; I wanna see how good he is before he capsizes himself. Lastly? This is combat sports. No form of entertainment outside of maybe the music industry forces people to separate artist from person so repeatedly. It often times asks us to stomach some pretty rough people in exchange for the violence they put into the cage or the ring. I've been on here for waaaaaaaaaay too long; long enough to have covered fights with people like Thiago Silva, Abel Trujillo, Rumble and so on so forth. I mean hell Floyd Mayweather Jr! Guys like Bernard Hopkins, Travis Browne, Jon Jones, Rumble Johnson all have their personal warts often displayed in the public's eye and yet we still watch their fights because....well we're addicted. Greg Hardy I guess isn't enough to get me to quit cold turkey on MMA.  Hell look at it this way, the alternative for Saturday if you're a combat sports fan is a battle between a guy who seems to get arrested once a year (Adrien Broner) and a guy who has some pretty comments on his record regarding gays and supports using the death penalty for drug offenders (Manny Pacquaio). We all have to make choices, especially in combat sports, about what our lines are or aren't. That's our jobs as consumers.

That said if there's one thing I can say that I hope will stick with everyone, it's that there's nobody wrong here outside of the people in question here. What YOU do as a fan one way or another is ultimately your business. If Greg Hardy offends you as a person then I have zeeero problem with you deciding to sit this show out. There are people I respect who will not be watching and I respect them for having that feeling. It's a totally acceptable feeling to have and no, you're not some SJW/soyboy/snowflake or whatever other terms MMA bros might throw your way. You have your line and I accept that and if anything, I appreciate you sticking to your convictions. Conversely I'd also ask that you not get pissy about people who ARE going to tune in and watch. Watching an MMA event with one dude on it who draws some serious visceral reactions due to his actions doesn't make you a supporter of domestic violence, a bad person or some kind of gooney bird unless you're actively rooting for Hardy DUE to his DV past. In that case, you probably are all those things. At the end of the day, we're all in charge of our own moral compass. Watch if you wish, feel how you feel, just don't hurt your cause by being an asshole about it.

[sugaranspikes]

because I’m getting excited about bronycon (august, baby!!), have a brony au with our favorite boys!

(and please, no hating on mlp or bronies, this is just for fun)(also, warning: super long!!)

the boys all got into mlp at various times.  it was kind of like dominos - once one started watching it out of curiosity by it’s popularity, another one would catch them in the act.  chirps would inevitably ensue, but days later the theme song would be heard, barely at a possible decibel for the human ear, from the same guy’s room.  and on it went, until a lecture from a very loud, drunk shitty about society’s expectations on men and saying “fuck you” to the system forced them to ponder on their shame for watching a show for little girls.  they came to the conclusion - who the fuck cares?  they were allowed to enjoy whatever they wanted as long as it didn’t hurt anybody, and it was a good show.  this allowed them to get more comfortable with the idea and finally watch the show together in the living room on saturday mornings.

eventually when they become big enough fans, they realize bronycon is happening in baltimore, maryland - a mere 6 hours from samwell! (boston, really).  and of course, if they’re going to be going, they need to create cosplays!!

obviously, bitty is the quintessential pinkie pie.  with his zest for life, baking, and parties galore, he embodies her persona.   in his pink short shorts, pink button down over a cutie mark t-shirt, and ridiculously patterned knee socks, he zips around the convention like a butterfly, charming everyone he meets.  he also brings pies to share with the convention-goers that don’t want to pay $10 for a piece of pizza.  he likes to go the social media forums such as Equestria Daily as well as the YouTubers, to learn how to make himself an even bigger online presence.  

jack never really got into MLP like everyone else did, but he definitely appreciates the messages.  he watches episodes as background noise to his studying or hockey-play creating, and thinks about the kids he taught in pee-wee hockey and how much they’d like this show.  he’s not entirely sure the names of all the ponies (the pink one is definitely Pinkie Pie, right? And the rainbow one is Rainbow Fast? or something) but the boys beg him to join them and he acquiesces.  they dub him applejack, the down to earth pony who doesn’t take crap from anyone and is as strong as a bull.  he is a great foil to everyone else’s crazy antics, and he’s happy to take as many photos as possible of all the great costumes and crowds.  (and the boys forgive him when he looks at his fake tail tucked into his jeans and asks “who am I again?” mostly because in a cowboy hat and boots he is knocking everyone dead). oh, and freckles, ya’ll.  

lardo, to no one’s surprise, immediately claims rainbow dash.  they all argue for a bit because EVERYONE wants to be rainbow dash, but with a lift of her eyebrow the decision is finalized.  she goes all the way and dyes her hair all the colors of the rainbow, claiming she had wanted to do it for awhile.  she rocks a letterman jacket with rainbow’s cutie mark as well as sneakers and some cute gym shorts.  she goes to the art panels as well as those that teach artists how to break into cartooning and such.  it’s not her usual type of art, but it’s always good stuff to know.  

ransom becomes the show’s star herself, twilight sparkle.  with his anxiety about school and need to be the best in all things education, he is the best to capture twilight’s adorkable nature.  plus, with his connections to everyone on campus and his innumerable facebook friends, he the best candidate for the princess of friendship.  in his purple sweater vest and fake wings he scours the marketplace for rare merchandise.  he is definitely the collector of the group, collecting mostly adult merchandise that should not be played with, such as the funko figurines. seriously, holster once tried to touch them.  he will not make that mistake again.

holster, for his part, makes a great rarity.  he claims to be the “fashionista” of the group, for his part in constantly trying to throw out ransom’s salmon shorts.  everyone loudly disagrees, many stating he has the fashion sense of a white jock, but he holds his head high, dammit!  it also helps that he plays piano, as rarity plays a key-tar in equestria girls.  the group is horribly split between those who think of eqg as canon and those who don’t.  he wears a white suit vest and pants with a purple shirt underneath, and goes to all the forums with the horse-famous as the key speakers because he idolizes them.

shitty, for his part, makes an extremely loud fluttershy.  while not even in the vicinity of the same personality group, he extols fluttershy’s virtues as one of the characters with the most personality development in the show, and will tell anyone who will listen that he is an advocate for the shy and those who feel like doormats.  in a yellow crop top with her cutie mark and a pink skirt, he draws crowds with his soapbox speeches and wild flowing hair.  he likes to go to forums with the show’s creators and directors to ask questions about feminism, the matriarchy, and bronyhood.  and for the love of god do NOT let him out on the streets, because he will confront any scoffing bystander with the question “does this threaten your fragile masculinity?!”

the frogs don’t actually go to bronycon, but the boys coerce them into dressing up as the cutie mark crusaders for a photoshoot before the con.  dex is the long suffering apple bloom, arguably the leader of the group and the one most down to earth.  chowder gets to be the sweet and excitable sweetie belle, while nursey is the talented but disabled scootaloo.  the pictures start out nice, but quickly devolve into pictures of the three of them squabbling and falling over each other in an attempt to tug at each other’s pigtails. so, it actually turned out perfect.

imagine everyone’s surprise when they are walking through the con and come across tango and whisky as derpy and starlight glimmer, respectively. tango gets excited, asking “when did you get here? are you having fun? when did you make your costumes? do you like my costume? I’m derpy!  well technically i’m muffins but I don’t like that they changed the name because it was completely unnecessary-”

whiskey just looks mortified and mutters a gruff “hello.”  the boys sense his discomfort and comment on his outfit, ripped jeans and a t-shirt with starlight’s logo on it.  it's interesting that he’s dressed as one of the most controversial characters on the show, though no one points that out.

and finally, when a few years have passed and jack and kent have become friendly again, kent insists on joining them for the next convention as sunset shimmer.  “it’s ironic and fitting! plus she’s a fucking badass!”  since he and jack are both famous in the NHL now their pictures are taken constantly, kent is not afraid to flirt with the camera.  it’s a controversial topic in the sports world because of the oddity, but he takes it in stride and it goes a long way for help people come to terms with bronies.

after all, what are they but people who are fans of a show with cute ponies, a great message and engaging characters?

[gibsonsflowofthoughts]

Which moments in NFL history do you wish you had seen live?

The NFL has had some indelible moments throughout its nearly 100-year existence. The Immaculate Reception. The Music City Miracle. The Minnesota Miracle. David Tyree’s Super Bowl catch. Wide Right. The Catch. Kevin Dyson coming up a yard short. The Butt Fumble.

We’ve seen many of them live, either on television or in person. But for others, it only feels that way because they’re such a familiar part of sports lore. Maybe we weren’t born yet or were too young to remember. Or maybe we first caught the clip on Twitter or SportsCenter. But those plays were spoiled for us: we knew ahead of time that we were about see something special.

For some of us, we saw it on TV, but we wish we could have been there in the stadium and shared that experience with a large group of our fellow slack-jawed fans who were feeling the exact same amazement as we were.

Either way, you never forget what it’s like to watch something like that unfold in real time, transitioning from that “what just happened?” shock to the realization that what you just witnessed will go down into NFL history.

Here are nine moments — on the field and off, live on TV or in person — we wish we had seen when they happened:

We wish we had been there in person

2016 NFC Championship Game

Even though it ended in catastrophe, the 2016 season was the most fun I’ve ever had watching the Atlanta Falcons. They could score at will, play great defense in spurts, and were just a thoroughly entertaining team to watch.

I wish I was at this game just for one specific play.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched that play. It was a pure display of physical dominance by Julio Jones, a perfect throw by Matt Ryan, and a great play call by Kyle Shanahan.

There are few times when one football player is clearly one step ahead of his competition. This was absolutely one of those instances on one of the biggest stages the NFL has to offer. As the CEO of the Julio Jones Fan Club, I really wish I was there for this moment. - Charles McDonald

Beast Quake

The real appeal of seeing something live, in my opinion, is soaking in the moment with the crowd. There’s just nothing quite like over 60,000 people losing their shit simultaneously.

Probably my favorite NFL video of the last calendar year was the sideline view of Stefon Diggs’ miracle touchdown against the Saints in the playoffs. If a crowd going that bananas doesn’t give you chills or goosebumps or, at the very least, a smile, you’re just not enjoying sports right.

So with that said, I’m flying my time machine to Seattle in January 2011 when Marshawn Lynch ran through approximately 87 Saints tacklers on his way to a 67-yard touchdown that clinched the Seahawks an unlikely playoff win. It has since been dubbed “Beast Quake” because the crowd noise literally caused a small tremor that was recorded on nearby seismographs.

Watching videos online of that kind of collective explosion is fun, but I can only imagine how incredible it must’ve been like to take in the moment with Seahawks faithful. — Adam Stites

Randy Moss fake-moons Lambeau Field

“That is a disgusting act by Randy Moss,” Joe Buck said.

Actually, it was an amazing act. I yearn to have been there. — Alex Kirshner

The Minneapolis Miracle

This is such an easy choice for so many reasons. We can start off with the fact that I’m a Falcons fan that enjoys Saints pain. The other thing here that really anybody that’s not a Saints fan can enjoy, is that this was an absolutely ridiculous ending to a football game.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that nobody thought the Vikings were going to be able to pull that off. If you know somebody that claims otherwise, they’re lying.

Plus, if you could get Joe Buck to lose his mind like that without Randy Moss pretending to show his ass, you’ve really done something. Not to mention the range of emotions it put everyone else through. — Harry Lyles Jr.

X-Clown

Some plays are indelibly burned in your mind and feel recent, even though they were forever ago. It’s hard to believe it’s been 15 years since the Carolina Panthers went to double overtime against the Rams in the NFC Divisional Playoffs, but this feels like yesterday.

The game was a complete slugfest, and at the time the game was billed as the Panthers’ grinding run game vs. Marc Bulger and the Rams’ astounding air attack — but in the end it was Steve Smith’s walk-off touchdown that took it all home.

This play was so damn disrespectful for the time, and it was beautiful. Jake Delhomme was never an amazing quarterback — but he had this knack for making big time throws when it counted. Hitting Smitty in stride after the pump fake was pure beauty, and I lost it in the basement of my parents’ house when it happened. I wish I could have been there live. — James Dator

We wish we had been alive for — or old enough to appreciate

The Ice Bowl

There are approximately one thousand incredible moments that make up the Packers’ storied history, but few can match the rarified air of the 1967 NFL Championship Game — better known as the Ice Bowl. It was a balmy -15 when the Packers and Cowboys took the field in Green Bay, and wind chill made it feel as awful as -48 as Lambeau Field’s broken heating system left a slippery sheen of ice atop the turf.

What happened next was football as performance art. Neither team gained more than 200 yards, leading to 16 combined punts that kept the crowd wondering which would shatter first: the ball itself or Donny Anderson’s foot. The Packers trailed 17-14 with 16 seconds on the clock and no timeouts remaining when Vince Lombardi got bold, dialed up a quarterback sneak for Bart Starr, and punched his team’s ticket to a second straight Super Bowl.

Watching it on TV would be cool. Watching it at Lambeau would be legendary. Look at this photo of our collective grandpas, showing up 50,000-deep for a football game in a frigid town of 75,000.

via the Pro Football Hall of Fame

Stare at that picture and inhale deeply, through your nose. Do you smell it? It’s the smell of 150,000 brandy old-fashioneds and stale Lucky Strike cigarettes being slowly smothered by the cold. I want in. — Christian D’Andrea

T.O. celebrating on the Dallas star

For me, a San Francisco 49ers fan, there are some obvious moments. I was born in 1990, and therefore missed some of the greatest moments in franchise history. I was alive for one that doesn’t necessarily hold up to The Catch, but is still one of my favorite moments in football history: Terrell Owens’ celebration on the Dallas Cowboys’ star.

The reason that’s my pick is twofold: I obviously would have loved to be at that game live, screaming my face off at Cowboys fans and hoping they don’t beat my obnoxious 10-year-old ass; and also I would have loved to see the reactions on social media. At that time, Facebook was still four years away, while Twitter was a further two years out.

Don’t get me wrong — social media and sports is an awful combination pretty much 95 percent of the time. But the gloriousness that would come out of the reactions to Owens’ celebration on the star, Emmitt Smith’s retaliatory celebration on the same star, and Owens’ follow-up second celebration on it would be phenomenal. Of course, if Twitter existed, it hardly would have been suitable for 10-year-old me. Or perhaps I’d fit right in. — James Brady

The “Super Bowl Shuffle” phenomenon

Whether you were alive during the 80s or not, it’s the Potter Stewart obscenity case: you know it when you see it.

And if you’ve seen even a glimpse of the “Super Bowl Shuffle,” it’s about as 80s as it gets:

The production value of Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” music video. Awkward dancing. Even awkwarder rapping. Those closeups of the one guy in sunglasses. Sax solo — and oh wait, he’s wearing sunglasses too! A COWBELL.

This wasn’t a play on the field or really even a moment: It was an actual phenomenon. The song sold more than 700,000 copies in its first year, made around $200,000 for charity, the record went gold, the video was in heavy rotation at MTV, and it lost a Grammy to Prince.

So even if today it looks more like a parody, it was a legitimate hit then and people enjoyed it for any number of reasons — because the players were having fun, because they were trying to help feed the needy, because Walter Payton’s spitting rhymes like “Well, they call me Sweetness/And I like to dance/Runnin’ the ball is like makin’ romance.”

Other NFL musical efforts like “Ram It,” “Buddy’s Watchin’ You,” and “Living the American Dream” soon followed, but none of those could top the one that paved the way in December 1985.

That’s another point that could easily be overlooked now but probably wasn’t then: It was released almost two months before the Super Bowl. Were people charmed by the cockiness of it? How much outrage was there in a world before social media and Skip Bayless types were on TV spouting exhausting nonsense on a seemingly never-ending basis? Or, hopefully, did fans understand that these larger-than-life personalities were having a blast riding this once-in-a-lifetime season?

Luckily for the Bears, they went on to win their first (and still only) Super Bowl that January. But the “Super Bowl Shuffle” had much more entertainment value than their 46-10 blowout win over the Patriots.

Unfortunately for the Bears, like most things sports fans love, controversy followed. It still lives on today, even though we know an NFL team now would never and could never replicate such an iconic, goofy-in-all-the-right-ways sensation that transcended football and even sports. And that’s why it would’ve been, like, so totally rad to experience this little piece of pop culture-meets-sports history then. — Sarah Hardy

We wish we hadn’t gone to bed and completely missed this

The Seahawks’ goal-line play in Super Bowl 49

As 100 million Americans were sitting on the edge of their seats wondering why Russell Wilson was lined up in the shotgun at the goal line during the final seconds of Super Bowl 49, I was just hitting REM sleep in a London dorm.

When I woke up the next morning and turned to Twitter, I was thinking the same thing as everyone else: “Why the hell didn’t the Seahawks give the ball to Marshawn Lynch on the 1-yard line?”

Except, I actively made the decision to stop watching the game after the first half 14-14 tie. I say that with great shame, especially since one of my best friends is a huge Patriots fans and was, according to my sources at the bar, crying profusely after Malcolm Butler made the pick to seal the Patriots’ Super Bowl title.

I could give you a long list of excuses (some legit and others not so much) about why I chose to leave the bar, but I wouldn’t be doing myself any favors. Just know that I’ve learned my lesson: Under no circumstance should you ever stop watching the Super Bowl in order to get sleep. Never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of Tom Brady Super Bowl comebacks! — Isaac Chipps

Dope article from sbnation.com

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The YouTube kids are not alright and this needs to change, fast

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The YouTube kids are not alright and this needs to change, fast

My son watches things on YouTube Kids. He’s more interested in how tactile the iPad’s home button is than anything else. But when he does eventually settle he’s transfixed. 

I’m choosy about what he watches, mainly because I want him to be interested in the things I was as a child. Thomas the Tank Engine, Postman Pat… kids’ staples (or at least staples of the early childhood of a British ‘80s kid). 

I watch with him, sometimes out of curiosity to see how the cartoons from old have changed to fit into this brave, new world. But mostly I watch him watching to see how he interacts, how transfixed he is. It’s beautiful to see his mind exploring away.

YouTube Kids – alongside any service with children at the heart – should be a safe haven, a place for exploration, excitement and curiosity. Everything on there should be greenlit, legislated, authorised. 

Worryingly this doesn’t always seem to be the case. First there was an eye-opening investigation that laid bare some channels that took advantage of children watching colorful shiny things – on YouTube’s main site – by filling it with surreal and frankly scary unauthorised videos.

It was content created purely for clicks – a cynical and potentially dangerous way to make a fast buck and something YouTube has made efforts to clamp down on.

But now its algorithm has fallen short again. On the apparently safe confines of YouTube Kids – the cotton wool-wrapped version of YouTube that’s supposedly free from the bile and hate that always threaten to rise on the full-fat service – uploaders are seemingly taking advantage of innocent eyes, with hours of conspiracy theory videos being served up on the site. 

YouTube, again, has taken these videos off of YouTube Kids after Business Insider, who uncovered the videosand notified the site. 

But it’s another case of too little too late.

Fight for the right information

Google, Facebook and the other tech titans are fighting a losing battle at the moment. 

Their algorithms are designed to serve up the most relevant content. But this is being hijacked for nefarious means. 

Fake news, propaganda – whatever spin you want to put on it, the internet is quickly turning into the Ministry of Information Superhighway, not fussed about serving you fact but rather a neat blend of what suits. 

Mark Zuckerberg has promised to make this stop by employing actual humans (third-party fact checkers) to sift through the rubbish. Google has begun banning certain sites from its algorithm, but still things are creeping through, still search is searching too far to the left or the right to find content. 

This is why we need safe havens for our children. Our kids will grow up with a better, more innate knowledge of tech than us but that doesn’t mean we should expose them to the ugly world offered to them at a young age. 

If YouTube Kids’ barrier is too low and sewage keeps seeping through, whether it’s by subverting the algorithm or other means, then it needs to stop. 

But it’s not just the tech companies that need to tighten their policies and get stricter with their rules – it’s the parents too. 

Back in 2017, Amazon announced an analytics system for its kids tablet that would offer up data on how a child uses that tablet. Information on what they are watching, reading and playing is all available.

The analytics are there so you can get closer to your child, see the media they consume and in turn understand them that little bit better. With all data, though, this can actually throw up nodes of note, pressure points that can be addressed. 

Why is your child reading this book every night, watching this video clip over and over again? 

The data can be used as a warning sign, a red flag that maybe the book is too difficult or that there’s something a bit too addictive about the show they are transfixed with. 

This all sounds promising, until you see what other services are doing with similar data. Netflix recently ended a trial where it was offering ‘patches’ to kids that binge watched certain programmes – the more you watched, the more patches and rewards you got. 

Netflix wanted this to be a fun way to gamify its site, but it’s easy to see why it could have negative connotations and it’s also easy to see how you could use this information for the greater good – warning parents that maybe their children are watching too much.

YouTube Kids arrived in 2015. A recent update should help stem the flow of dodgy content.

YouTube has the right data to deal with this, but it needs to start using it. It’s quick to stop adverts flowing on a YouTube personality’s account when there’s a hint of copyright infringement or controversy. But the fact there were hundreds of these zombified kids clips means it isn’t using the data effectively enough. 

Yes, true hate needs to be wiped from the platform and the internet as a whole, but much more scrutiny needs to be put on anything that’s branded ‘for children’. 

Some steps are being made. Google revealed back in November 2017 a big update to the YouTube Kids service that places more control into what is viewable in the parents’ hands, so lessons are being learned. 

But it really doesn’t take much for trust to be broken and for a service to lose a user when it feels that its not operating in the consumers’ best interests. Many a site’s downfall has been because of this. 

Something more needs to be done and fast. There’s only a small window where a child’s innocence can be protected but we must all do what we can to make sure that window doesn’t shatter.