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hydrus · 4 years ago

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Version 422

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🎉�� It was hydrus's birthday this week! 🎉🎉

I had a great week. I mostly fixed bugs and improved quality of life.

tags

It looks like when I optimised tag autocomplete around v419, I accidentally broke the advanced 'character:*'-style lookups (which you can enable under tags->manage tag display and search. I regret this is not the first time these clever queries have been broken by accident. I have fixed them this week and added several sets of unit tests to ensure I do not repeat this mistake.

These expansive searches should also work faster, cancel faster, and there are a few new neat cache optimisations to check when an expensive search's results for 'char' or 'character:' can quickly provide results for a later 'character:samus'. Overall, these queries should be a bit better all around. Let me know if you have any more trouble.

The single-tag right-click menu now always shows sibling and parent data, and for all services. Each service stacks siblings/parents into tall submenus, but the tall menu feels better to me than nested, so we'll see how that works out IRL. You can click any sibling or parent to copy to clipboard, so I have retired the 'copy' menu's older and simpler 'siblings' submenu.

misc

Some websites have a 'redirect' optimisation where if a gallery page has only one file, it moves you straight to the post page for that file. This has been a problem for hydrus for some time, and particularly affected users who were doing md5: queries on certain sites, but I believe the downloader engine can now handle it correctly, forwarding the redirect URL to the file queue. This is working on some slightly shakey tech that I want to improve more in future, but let me know how you get on with it.

The UPnPc executables (miniupnp, here https://miniupnp.tuxfamily.org/) are no longer bundled in the 'bin' directory. These files were a common cause of anti-virus false positives every few months, and are only used by a few advanced users to set up servers and hit network->data->manage upnp, so I have decided that new users will have to install it themselves going forward. Trying to perform a UPnP operation when the exe cannot be found now gives a popup message talking about the situation and pointing to the new readme in the bin directory.

After working with a user, it seems that some clients may not have certain indices that speed up sibling and parent lookups. I am not totally sure if this was due to hard drive damage or broken update logic, but the database now looks for and heals this problem on every boot.

parsing (advanced)

String converters can now encode or decode by 'unicode escape characters' ('\u0394'-to-'Δ') and 'html entities' ('&'-to-'&'). Also, when you tell a json formula to fetch 'json' rather than 'string', it no longer escapes unicode.

The hydrus downloader system no longer needs the borked 'bytes' decode for a 'file hash' content parser! These content parsers now have a 'hex'/'base64' dropdown in their UI, and you just deliver that string. This ugly situation was a legacy artifact of python2, now finally cleared up. Existing string converters now treat 'hex' or 'base64' decode steps as a no-op, and existing 'file hash' content parsers should update correctly to 'hex' or 'base64' based on what their string converters were doing previously. The help is updated to reflect this. hex/base64 encodes are still in as they are used for file lookup script hash initialisation, but they will likely get similar treatment in future.

birthday

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

On December 14th, 2011, the first non-experimental beta of hydrus was released. This week marks nine years. It has been a lot of work and a lot of fun.

Looking back on 2020, we converted a regularly buggy and crashy new Qt build to something much faster and nicer than we ever had with wx. Along with that came mpv and smooth video and finally audio playing out of the client. The PTR grew to a billion mappings(!), and with that came many rounds of database optimisation, speeding up many complicated tag and file searches. You can now save and load those searches, and most recently, search predicates are now editable in-place. Siblings and parents were updated to completely undoable virtual systems, resulting in much faster boot time and thumbnail load and greatly improved tag relationship logic. Subscriptions were broken into smaller objects, meaning they load and edit much faster, and several CPU-heavy routines no longer interrupt or judder browsing. And the Client API expanded to allow browsing applications and easier login solutions for difficult sites.

There are still a couple thousand things I would like to do, so I hope to keep going into 2021. I deeply appreciate the feedback, help, and support over the years. Thank you!

If you would like to further support my work and are in a position to do so, my simple no-reward Patreon is here: https://www.patreon.com/hydrus_dev

full list

advanced tags:

fixed the search code for various 'total' autocomplete searches like '*' and 'namespace:*', which were broken around v419's optimised regular tag lookups. these search types also have a round of their own search optimisations and improved cancel latency. I am sorry for the trouble here

expanded the database autocomplete fetch unit tests to handle these total lookups so I do not accidentally kill them due to typo/ignorance again

updated the autocomplete result cache object to consult a search's advanced search options (as under _tags->manage tag display and search_) to test whether a search cache for 'char' or 'character:' is able to serve results for a later 'character:samus' input

optimised file and tag search code for cases where someone might somehow sneak an unoptimised raw '*:subtag' or 'namespace:*' search text in

updated and expanded the autocomplete result cache unit tests to handle the new tested options and the various 'total' tests, so they aren't disabled by accident again

cancelling a autocomplete query with a gigantic number of results should now cancel much quicker when you have a lot of siblings

the single-tag right-click menu now shows siblings and parents info for every service, and will work on taglists in the 'all known tags' domain. clicking on any item will copy it to clipboard. this might result in megatall submenus, but we'll see. tall seems easier to use than nested per-service for now

the more primitive 'siblings' submenu on the taglist 'copy' right-click menu is now removed

right-click should no longer raise an error on esoteric taglists (such as tag filters and namespace colours). you might get some funky copy strings, which is sort of fun too

the copy string for the special namespace predicate ('namespace:*anything*') is now 'namespace:*', making it easier to copy/paste this across pages

misc:

the thumbnail right-click 'copy/open known urls by url class' commands now exclude those urls that match a more specific url class (e.g. /post/123456 vs /post/123456/image.jpg)

miniupnpc is no longer bundled in the official builds. this executable is only used by a few advanced users and was a regular cause of anti-virus false positives, so I have decided new users will have to install it manually going forward.

the client now looks for miniupnpc in more places, including the system path. when missing, its error popups have better explanation, pointing users to a new readme in the bin directory

UPnP errors now have more explanation for 'No IGD UPnP Device' errortext

the database's boot-repair function now ensures indices are created for: non-sha256 hashes, sibling and parent lookups, storage tag cache, and display tag cache. some users may be missing indices here for unknown update logic or hard drive damage reasons, and this should speed them right back up. the boot-repair function now broadcasts 'checking database for faults' to the splash, which you will see if it needs some time to work

the duplicates page once again correctly updates the potential pairs count in the 'filter' tab when potential search finishes or filtering finishes

added the --boot_debug launch switch, which for now prints additional splash screen texts to the log

the global pixmaps object is no longer initialised in client model boot, but now on first request

fixed type of --db_synchronous_override launch parameter, which was throwing type errors

updated the client file readwrite lock logic and brushed up its unit tests

improved the error when the client database is asked for the id of an invalid tag that collapses to zero characters

the qss stylesheet directory is now mapped to the static dir in a way that will follow static directory redirects

downloaders and parsing (advanced):

started on better network redirection tech. if a post or gallery URL is 3XX redirected, hydrus now recognises this, and if the redirected url is the same type and parseable, the new url and parser are swapped in. if a gallery url is redirected to a non-gallery url, it will create a new file import object for that URL and say so in its gallery log note. this tentatively solves the 'booru redirects one-file gallery pages to post url' problem, but the whole thing is held together by prayer. I now have a plan to rejigger my pipelines to deal with this situation better, ultimately I will likely expose and log all redirects so we can always see better what is going on behind the scenes

added 'unicode escape characters' and 'html entities' string converter encode/decode types. the former does '\u0394'-to-'Δ', and the latter does '&'-to-'&'

improved my string converter unit tests and added the above to them

in the parsing system, decoding from 'hex' or 'base64' is no longer needed for a 'file hash' content type. these string conversions are now no-ops and can be deleted. they converted to a non-string type, an artifact of the old way python 2 used to handle unicode, and were a sore thumb for a long time in the python 3 parsing system. 'file hash' content types now have a 'hex'/'base64' dropdown, and do decoding to raw bytes at a layer above string parsing. on update, existing file hash content parsers will default to hex and attempt to figure out if they were a base64 (however if the hex fails, base64 will be attempted as well anyway, so it is not critically important here if this update detection is imperfect). the 'hex' and 'base64' _encode_ types remain as they are still used in file lookup script hash initialisation, but they will likely be replaced similarly in future. hex or base64 conversion will return in a purely string-based form as technically needed in future

updated the make-a-downloader help and some screenshots regarding the new hash decoding

when the json parsing formula is told to get the 'json' of a parsed node, this no longer encodes unicode with escape characters (\u0394 etc...)

duplicating or importing nested gallery url generators now refreshes all internal reference ids, which should reduce the liklihood of accidentally linking with related but differently named existing GUGs

importing GUGs or NGUGs through Lain easy import does the same, ensuring the new objects 'seem' fresh to a client and should not incorrectly link up with renamed versions of related NGUGs or GUGs

added unit tests for hex and base64 string converter encoding

next week

Last week of the year. I could not find time to do the network updates I wanted to this week, so that would be nice. Otherwise I will try and clean and fix little things before my week off over Christmas. The 'big thing to work on next' poll will go up next week with the 423 release posts.

#release

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a-splash-of-stucky · 7 years ago

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I Know This Game | Seven

Pairings: Bucky x Foster!Reader

Summary: You can’t sleep, so you decide to get a few things off your chest.

Warnings: Some language. Mention of nightmares. Emotional turmoil. A whole lot of confusion. Brief mentions of sex.

Notes: I wanted this part to be very real, so it’s been minimally edited - I pretty much just typed it out in one go and rolled with it. Apologies for any typos and sorry if it’s hard to follow, that’s kinda what I was going for. I nearly made myself cry a couple of times, there.

Personally, this is my fave chapter.

IKTG Masterlist

You’re sprawled out on your bed, willing sleep to take you back into its clutches and give you a few more hours of mind-numbing blankness. But, after that nightmare, your brain is far too wired, far too riled up for sleep to even be a possibility. In the darkness, your mind flits back and forth between your memories of that fateful day, and the exaggerated dream version of those events. You’re simultaneously wide awake and utterly exhausted — but it’s the kind of fatigue that sleep cannot cure, which only drains more of your energy. The combination of hyper-awareness and weariness is dizzying, causing nightmare and memory to overlap and mesh into one another, distorting your perception of what is truth and what is a twisted concoction created by your overworked mind.

With a groan, you roll off your bed and slump onto the floor, dragging the blanket around your trembling shoulders as you curl into a tight ball. The room suddenly begins to feel overly constrictive, as if the walls are caving in on you. It’s too stuffy, the silence deafeningly loud — your senses are being overwhelmed by the still of night.

You need to get out.

You heave yourself up and stumble over to your dresser — tripping over the corner of your rug along the way — to pull out some clothes. Blindly, you root around in your drawers and grab the first things your fingers close around: a pair of jeans, and what feels like an oversized sweater. Your purse is by the foot of your bed, and from it, you grab your phone, keys and some cash that you stuff into your back pocket.

The dull red light of your alarm catches your eye as you’re about to leave your room. Its digital display tells you that it’s 3.56AM. You’re supposed to be heading to your clinic at 8 to squeeze in some work in before meeting with a patient. You already know that you’re probably not going to be performing at your best during that session.

The smell of rain is fresh in the air when you step outside -- that clean, damp odour that does wonders to invigorate your spirits. Puddles litter the sidewalk, reflecting the city night lights, making them glimmer and sparkle prettily. You find it quite ironic that you’re in such peaceful surroundings, as they are a sharp contrast to the chaos roiling internally.

You walk with no direction or purpose in mind.

Remnants of your terrible dream still linger in your head, and though you try as hard as you can, you’re unable to shake them off. A few images in particular come back to taunt you, over and over again: the way way Bucky had smiled, so familiar yet strange; how perfect he had looked with Natasha’s legs slung over his shoulders, and the detached coldness in Steve’s eyes. These twisted images haunted you in your sleep and now they torment you whilst you’re awake. You can’t help but try to analyse what they all might mean, why your mind decided to conjure them up.

Though the nightmare was obviously a tad melodramatic, you see the parallels between it and reality. Everything you’d come to accept as truth, all the pillars of support you came to depend on had crumbled beneath you, the foundations they were built upon having been weakened by the lies fed to you by people you thought you could trust. The sense of betrayal, coupled with the feeling that everyone seems to be against you leaves a sour aftertaste that you can’t get rid of.

There’s a park not too far from your apartment, and that seems to be where your feet are carrying you. It’s not particularly large, but there’s a bench in the shadows of an oak tree that for some reason, is especially nice to sit on. It’s your go-to place for when your mind is as restless as it is now.

You try not to think about the fact that you used to take Bucky and Steve here on days out, sharing with them one of your favourite places in the world.

The bench is a bit damp from the rain, so you pull off your jacket and spread it out so that you can sit on it. You close your eyes and focus on breathing deeply, grounding yourself in the moment by listening intently to the bustle of the city around you; the distant wail of a siren, the yowling of alley cats, the various creaks and groans coming from the buildings in the near vicinity. It’s a symphony that you’ve grown up listening to, and it never fails to put your nerves at ease.

But, though coming outside for a breath of fresh air has helped to take the edge off the pain inside you, you still feel as if there’s a weight pressing down on your chest. Your mind is in turmoil because you have too many images, too many memories, too many disconnected thoughts floating around. It’s giving you a headache. You need to take part of it out -- mentally unload in some way.

You reach into your back pocket and pull out your phone, deciding to take a page out of your own book. You often encourage your patients to keep a log of things they’d like to say to people. Who those people are doesn’t really matter — they could be ex-captors, estranged children, fallen comrades, or a whole range of others. Even if the intended recipient never gets to hear those words, the act of writing out the things they’d like to say does wonders for the tortured soul. You figure you have a few things to say to Bucky.

You bring up your notes app, settle back into the bench and begin typing. The words come to you with surprising ease. It’s as if you’ve been subconsciously blocking a river of words all this time and now, freed from your mental dam, they come pouring through.

—————————————————

Hey Bucky,

Okay, I’ll be honest, I got no idea what the fuck I’m doing here. You’re probably never even gonna read any of this, anyway, but it can’t hurt to say any of it to you, right? Well, not actually say it to you, but a girl can imagine, can’t she?

God, that’s off to a great start. I feel as lost as you probably did when I introduced you to the induction cooker in your room at the compound. Holy shit, your face, Bucky, when I told you that that was a stove. I’ll never not laugh at it. If I’m ever having a bad day, thinking about your expression then always brings a smile to my lips. I can best describe it as a mixture of absolute cluelessness, mild horror and a little bit of curiosity. Yeah, it was a weird mix of emotions. That’s kinda what I feel like right now — a jumbled ball that’s feeling too much.

I can’t sleep, Buck. It’s 4.12AM, I have a client to see in about five hours, and I’ve only slept for six— and you know what I’m like if I don’t get a solid seven. I can’t function as a human, let alone a professional therapist. Things aren’t looking too great right now.

Can I tell you about my day? You’re not here to answer that, so I’m gonna just assume you said something like “Of course, babydoll,”. Actually, I just realised — it was technically my yesterday, but I’m gonna tell you about it nonetheless.

It was a day sent to me straight from hell, courtesy of the Devil himself. Honestly, it was the weirdest string of events to happen, ever.

So first off, after work, I got this email from Christine Everhart. You remember her, right? She was that reporter you said you wanted to strangle with your metal hand after that press conference about Tokyo. I sympathise with your urges; the bitch wanted to talk to me about working with the Avengers. I mean, that in and of itself is not enough to piss me off, I guess, bc curiosity is part of human nature, right? But god, the way she said it made me want to be sick, Bucky. I didn’t reply, obviously, but I wonder if it would damage my reputation so terribly if I just sent her a little ‘fuck you’.

Oh, and then Jane called me. I kinda forgot about that. I hadn’t properly talked to her in a while. She and Darcy invited me and the girls on a trip to Bali, can you believe it? If you know me well enough, you’ll know that I said no. Maybe I’ll change my mind later. A vaycay on the beach does sound pretty much like what the doctor ordered, even if the doctor is myself. Can you give yourself orders?

You know what Jane asked me? She asked if I still love you.

I told her ‘yes’.

It’s confusing, Bucky. I love you, but not in the same way I used to love you. Sometimes I wish the English language had more versions of the word ‘love’, because it’s way too ambiguous of a word. I say ‘I love you’ to Jane, but I don’t mean that I love her the same way I love Peggy, or Wanda, or you, y’know?

But, I digress. I was telling you about my day, no? So. After I got off work, I went over to Loki’s house. Who’s Loki, you ask? My new boyfriend. Actually, he’s technically my new ex-boyfriend, now (more on that later), but at the time, he was my boyfriend and I was heading to his house.

Are you following with this story? Am I even making any sense? Bear with me, okay? I’m sleep deprived and losing touch with reality right now.

Yes. So, Loki’s place.

I turned on the TV, and guess who the fuck I saw? None other than our very own Capsicle and his two goons, Birdman and Sparky Butt. How are they, by the way? Did Tony make Sam those new wings he’s been going on about? It was a news clip about them in Bangkok. When I saw those three on screen, I—I started thinking about when I went to see them, after I saw you and Nat together. You only came in towards the end, so I don’t know how much you know about the little exchange that went on between the four of us. I got no idea what Steve and Sam and Tony have told you (or, as the case may be, neglected to tell you), but I know for certain one thing they couldn’t have told you was my version of things.

I was so hurt, Buck, so betrayed. I want you to know that me deciding to leave the compound was not just your fault. The whole team has some blame to take. I felt so betrayed, Bucky, like everyone was in on a secret that I was not even aware of. It made me wonder how many more secrets there were, how many more there would be, if I decided to stay. I couldn’t live with any of that, Buck, so I ran. I left. Maybe I should’ve stayed to talk to you, but—I was hurt, okay? They talk about people stabbing you in the back? This was more like someone was driving a dozen swords into me from all directions. I was bleeding out everywhere, Buck. I was wounded, in every sense of the word. I can’t—

Okay, enough about that, I think you get the picture.

Back to Loki.

We had sex. You might wonder why I’m telling you this, I’m sure it’s not something you exactly want to hear, but it’s important. When he was…going down on me, I went off into my head. In the moment, I called him your name, by accident. He was pissed off, to say the least. We still went at it, but—I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Buck, and how we used to do things. That happened earlier as well. Not the me calling him ‘Bucky’ by accident, part, but the thinking about you bit. When he said ‘hi’ to me by the door, he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek. I don’t know why, but my mind was just reminded of you. When we were talking, my thoughts were of you. I just can’t stop thinking about you, today. Yesterday. Whatever.

And then, ho ho, this is the best shit ever. You’d think my night couldn’t get worse, right? Oh, but it’s me, of course it can. I was gonna borrow his phone to set an alarm, and what do I discover? That he’s been cheating on me with this girl called Sharon! Naturally, I broke things off with him. Hence why, he is now my ex. We weren’t together that long, actually, just five months. I met him about three weeks after left the compound. I know, so soon, right? I rushed into it, Bucky—don’t think I was over you that fast. I…I used him as a way to forget about you, not as a way to replace you.

I could never replace you, love.

So then I went home, and Peggy and Wanda tried to get me to talk, but I was so tired, I just went to bed. They’re both pissed off at you, by the way. I was in pieces when I left you, and they had to somehow put me back together. Even now, I don’t think I’m all here. I think you’re holding on to some of me, Buck, and I don’t know whether I want you to keep those pieces of me or not. It’s like I can never be whole without you.

I had a nightmare, Bucky. You—I don’t want to go into the details, ‘cause it’ll make you cry, and then that’ll make me cry, and that’s no good for anyone. But, in a nutshell, it was about you…and Nat. It was about that day I found out, except a billion times worse, exaggerated in dream-world, right? And I just got really shaken up by it. I was so weirded out, I had to get out of my room. And…that’s how I ended up here, on a park bench at 4.19AM and typing my heart out to you.

Remember how we used to keep your nightmares away?

That first time it happened, I think Steve was gone. If I remember correctly, he was on a mission in Germany. I heard you screaming from down the hall Bucky, and it wasn’t the first time you’d done that, but it was the first time it went on for that long. Then I remembered that Steve was gone — in fact, I think it might’ve just been you and me at the compound, bc I’m pretty sure Nat and Sam went with him — so there wouldn’t be anyone else to wake you up. Now, some people might say that I was doing it to help you, but really, I was just helping myself, y’know? I need my sleep. You tell yourself whatever you want, but I’m being completely serious with you, Bucky, I was only helping myself. Not.

You were so scared when I first came in. Thought I should go away because you might accidentally stab me or something. I never told you this, but in the morning, I found a little bruise on my upper arm, from when your metal hand hit me. Completely by accident! And it was gone in a few days, I barely even noticed it. Don’t you dare beat yourself up about it, Barnes. I know you’ve got those puppy-dog ‘I’m sorry’ eyes right now, cut it out.

Anyway, that’s how Nightmare NightsTM began. You’d have a nightmare, I would cautiously wake you up, and then we’d head out to the lounge to watch a movie and have hot chocolate with extra marshmallows because you have the biggest sweet tooth of anyone I know. Sometimes we’d talk, but mostly — especially those first few times — you just wanted company, and I happily provided it for you.

You’d put your head in my lap, and I’d stroke your shoulder/neck, because you hated having people touching your head back then. I don’t know what we watched, usually. I don’t even know if you were watching, or if you went back to sleep. I had a tendency to doze off, didn’t I?

Eventually, the location shifted from the lounge to my room. I forget why we had to move. Or maybe one of us suggested it. Do you remember why, Bucky? Anyway, we set something up on the TV in my room, and that was the first night we snuggled together in a bed. In the back of my mind, I remember thinking that this was a breach of every single professionalism protocol I had established for myself, but I rationalised it by saying that you were a special case. I know you hate being called that, but you can’t deny the fact that your situation was unique, at least to me. Haven’t had to deal with a person like you ever before — and by that, I mean someone who’s had a wholly new identity engineered for them — and hopefully I won’t have to ever again.

Anyway, we slept together for the first time that night. And all I remember thinking is that I wouldn’t mind doing it again. You told me it was the best sleep you’d had in months and I knew that I wanted to help you get that as often as possible. How’re you sleeping now, Buck? Is someone keeping you company? Is Steve back on nightmare watch?

I don’t know why I still care about you. Sometimes I get mad at myself for caring about you. Other times, I’m just sad.

Okay, we’re getting into sappy territory, now. Do not hold me accountable for anything my crazed mind decides to spew out.

You’re beautiful, Bucky, you know that? You may not think you’re gorgeous, but I do. And your heart’s beautiful as well — though maybe not the way I thought it was. I know you’re trained to be a liar, but I also know that there’s some things you just can’t fake. There’s kindness in that big ‘ol heart of yours. HYDRA tried to take that away from you, but they didn’t succeed. Maybe they suppressed it, temporarily, but that kindness, that enormous capacity for generosity, that ability and desire to put everyone else’s needs before yours — that’s all you, Bucky. Winter Soldier or not, your kindness is what makes you James Buchanan Barnes, through and through.

So why am I here talking about your kindness, even though you dragged my heart through hell and then some? Honestly, I don’t know. Love makes you blind, I realised, but I think when it comes to you, love also makes me numb to the pain. Or, perhaps more accurately, it increases my tolerance for it. You’ve hurt me, yes, more so than anyone ever has, but—I don’t hate you for it. I don’t think it’s possible for me to hate you. Whatever we had was something special, to me, and…and no matter how badly I’m hurt—it’s like I said. Some things you can’t fake. You’re a good person, Bucky. I know you are.

God, I’m rambling all over the place, aren’t I? I hope you don’t mind. I haven’t talked to you in a long time, so I’ve got things to say. Plus, I’m in a weird mood, and you, of all people, know how chatty I get when I’m like that. It’s bloody 4.22AM, I should be asleep, for fuck’s sake.

I miss a lot of things about you, Buck.

I miss talking to you, Bucky. Of all the things we used to do together, talking was, sadly enough, my favourite. I love the sound of your voice. Notice the tense there: present. It’s true. I still love it. Nothing can change that. It’s one of the sweetest melodies my ears have ever had the pleasure to listen to.

I miss the way you smiled at me, like I was the only person that mattered to you in this entire world, like if everything came crashing down around us, you’d still run to save me first. Was that all a lie, Bucky? Did you mean anything you said?

I miss holding you. There was just enough of you to make me feel safe, enough of you for me to drape my body over. I’d give anything to have that again, to go back to that time when I didn’t know. I’d kiss you so good, love, better than I’ve ever done it before. Kiss your pillowy soft lips so tender, ‘cause Lord knows you haven’t had enough tenderness in your life. I wanna make you melt into the bed, Bucky, make you feel like you’re floating on the softest cloud in the sky. I’d run my hands all over your body, kiss all your scars, make sure you know just how gorgeous you are. I’d touch you like you’re as delicate as a china plate. I want to feel that intimacy again. When we had sex, it was more than just the physical connection for me, Bucky. It was like my soul had found its other half.

I want to be whole again.

I forgot how much lonelier it is to sleep in a bed without you next to me. Even when I was with Loki, I felt lonely. It’s like my body has gotten used to having you next to me, and it’s not going to settle for any lesser substitute. How have you been sleeping, Bucky? I know it was always hard for you to get to sleep. Is it the same for you, love, do you miss me? Or…do you have another body next to you to keep you warm? I hope you haven’t, but at the same time, I hope you have. I’ll not begrudge you your happiness, Buck.

Would’ve gave it all for you, cared for you So tell me where I went wrong Would’ve gave it all for you, cared for you

Bucky, do you remember when we played Snakes and Ladders with Steve for the first time? It was one of my first ‘alternative’ sessions with you, I remember. Steve once told me that the two of you used to be really competitive, and I thought that if we tried to recreate some of that competitiveness in a relatively safe environment, maybe we’d make some progress in terms of memory restoration. But, my oh my, I think ‘competitive’ is an understatement when it comes to the two of you. That was the first time I saw Steve visibly relaxed around you. It was the first time I saw you outright grinning, Bucky, the first time I had a ‘hallelujah we’ve gotten somewhere’ moment with you.

What went wrong, Buck? I just wanted to make you smile like that again, as many times as I could. It was one of the most breathtakingly beautiful things I’d ever seen. What’s wrong with me wanting to make you smile?

Bucky, I—how can I make you understand this? Love, I would’ve given you anything, anything I could give you and maybe a bit beyond that, just to see you happy. You deserve all the happiness in this world Bucky, after the hell you’ve been through — things I can only ever imagine. I know you don’t think you’re allowed happiness, that you’re not worthy of it, and that no matter how many times I say it, you’re never gonna believe me, but you do, sweetheart, you do.

Shit. I’ve just read the last few bits back and god, I’m all over the place. It’s 4.32AM, forgive me, okay? Do you mind that it’s so long? I have a lot to say, it seems, and this train just keeps on rolling down the hill. No idea when it’s gonna crash, bc I can’t see the bottom. I don’t know what’s waiting for me down there, but I don’t think it’s you, love.

I haven’t told you about my realisations, have I? I’ve had a few profound thoughts in the last 24 hours.

Well, after the events of yesterday, I was feeling really self-reflective, right? And I came to realise a lot of things. I won’t go into a lot of detail, because I think I still need some time to process things myself, but what I wanna tell you is that my relationships have always been the same. My love life is completely predictable. I meet a guy, we click a little (but not a lot), we have great sex, we’re happy enough with each other, and then he’ll cheat on me, or do something shady that breaks my heart and then we’re done.

You were the person to deviate from the mould, Buck. You were different, and I thought what we had was different. Did you feel the same?

I let things go so much further with you, Bucky. Ours was the longest relationship I’d ever had. I let you in in ways no one else before you had ever come close to. You saw things that I hadn’t shown anybody, not even Jane, or Wanda, or Peggy. I trusted you with pieces of myself that I didn’t want people to see; the darkest, dreariest parts of my soul. I thought…I thought you’d cherish them, that you’d see this as the privilege that it was. Do you have any idea how difficult it was to let you in? You told me that every single one of those blackened pieces was beautiful. Did you mean that?

A lot of things about how we separated broke my heart, love, but one of the things that hurts most is the way I loved you when no one else did. And, I guess, the fact that you didn’t see that. I cared for you, in ways I’d never cared for anyone before. Not just professionally, mind you, but when we got serious, too. Things were different. I was the first person, and for a while, the only person who truly loved you as you were — in your entirety, Bucky. I didn’t see the Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes as two separate entities, but two halves of the whole. I know you hate that one side of you, but someone’s gotta make you feel okay with that dark part of yourself, and I was up for the job.

Did you let me in as much as I let you in, Bucky? Did I get to see all the worst parts of you, or were there secrets you kept? I’m not angry if you kept them from me. We all have our reasons, we all need different lengths of time to get comfortable and build trust, but just know that I would tell you that you’re perfect even if you told me that you were Hitler himself reincarnated. I’d think no less of you. You could open yourself up and show me how broken and tattered your soul is, but I would show you how every single piece — battered, bruised or worse — still shone brighter than any diamond. I was (am?) in love with all of you, Bucky. If you ever read this, play that John Legend song, will you?

I think that train’s finally starting to run out of steam, now.

Yeah. My heart is broken. But…I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like it’s hanging on by a thread, you know? It’s fractured into a million different pieces, but they’re all somehow held together by the thinnest gossamer of hope. Six months later, and even though you ripped my heart out and crushed it in your metal hand, I think it still manages to beat for you.

I don’t know about forgiveness, Bucky. I might not be fully broken, but I am still broken, still feeling the pain. I don’t know the full story, of why you and Nat, well. But if I did know…well, put it this way: have I forgiven you? I don’t think so. Can I forgive you? Quite possibly.

I don’t think you’re the kind of person who’d do that to someone else. Then again, maybe I’m just a poor judge of character. Sweetheart, I—

Hang on, let me take a break, my eyes are watering too much, I can’t see the fucking screen.

Bucky…where did I go wrong? I have a lot of questions, so I’m just gonna list them all here. What made you do it? Why couldn’t you come talk to me about it? You know I would’ve helped you, right? — if Nat was who you really wanted, I would’ve let you go, you just had to ask. What…were you unhappy with me? Was I not enough? What could I have done better, love — I want to know. I need to know.

Was I wrong to trust you? Did I give you too much of myself, too soon?

A part of me wants to make things better, with you. I don’t think we’ll ever go back to what we used to be — you can’t expect me to ignore something as monumental as that, so we can’t go back to the era of innocence we were in — but maybe, something with you is better than nothing. I miss you. Miss waking up next to you, cooking with you, getting into stupid fights with you. I miss chasing your nightmares away, and making you laugh and smile and talk when all you want to do is retreat into yourself. Hopefully, when the universe decides to be kind to me, we’ll find a way into each other’s lives again. Trust each other again.

Bucky, I got something to tell you, and if you forget about everything else I’ve said here, just know this:

No one tells you when you love someone — how would they know? Now, that wouldn’t be a problem if you yourself knew that you were in love, but the thing with you and me is that I, for the longest time, didn’t know that I loved you, because the love I felt for you was unlike what I felt for anyone else. It’s not a sudden epiphany I had one day, right? I didn’t wake up one morning and just decide that I was gonna love you romantically, no. It was more like…one minute, when I examined our relationship, things were strictly professional between us, and then the next time I go to assess things, I realise that we must’ve crossed the line at some point. It was something gradual, like walking through life in slow motion — but when my dumb ass finally figured things out, it was like…life made sense, y’know?

But on the same note, no one tells you when you stop loving someone. They can maybe tell you when to stop, but only you can decide for yourself when you’ve actually done the stopping — subtle difference, there. Because, Bucky, love, here’s the thing: I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you.

You look up from your phone, then, to take in the view. Physically, hardly anything has changed; you’re still confronted by the same row of bushes and shrubs, the same buildings in the distance and the same coating of water enshrouds all that it touches. But somehow, things are almost intangibly different — and that comes down to the fact that your heart feels lighter. The weight is no longer crushing your chest so hard you can’t breathe, the burden on your shoulders has somehow been made more manageable. That confession is true, and acknowledging the truth makes you feel lighter than air. You still have a few more things to say, though.

I’ve…never let things get as far in any of my other relationships as I did with you, Bucky. And because of that, I don’t know if it’s normal, the fact that I haven’t stopped loving you even though it’s been so long. It doesn’t make sense, right? You’d think after…after what you did, I’d be hurt and hate you, right? But—something tells me that you did it for a reason. I’m just upset that you couldn’t tell me what that reason was. Of course I’m wounded, but I think someone’s perfectly capable of being wounded and being in love at the same time. Is it confusing? Most definitely. I don’t know whether I want to kiss you more, or punch you more.

Actually, punching you would probably hurt me more than it hurts you, so…

But the point is, I still have feelings for you, you jerk. I don’t know how to rebound from you if I still have feelings for you. It’s been so long, I thought it would get easier — like, I’d just learn to deal with this gaping hole in my life, this persistent, never-ending pain in my body, right? But it hasn’t gotten better. It’s only festered and sometimes it closes up, but I pick at the scab, and pull out the stitches and then my heart is bleeding out onto the floor all over again. It’s crazy, Bucky, how much you can make me feel pain without actually being here.

I don’t hate you for making me hurt; I think we’re both at fault here. I should never have fallen for you in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, love, I don’t, for even a second, regret loving you when what we had was good, I just…I hurt. And I hate being hurt. This pain in my heart, I don’t think it’s something that will ever fade. No matter what I do, or how long I wait.

I don’t know how to pick myself up from this. It’s like you pushed me down a steep-sided valley and I don’t know how to claw my way out. I thought Loki would give me a lift, but he only took me halfway, and the little ledge we were balancing on was too flimsy to support our combined weight, so I just fell in again.

I don’t know how long I have to wait before I get over you. Is it a question of if, or a question of when? No one tells you any of these things. I want someone to tell me these things.

I still love you, Bucky. And, if you truly love someone, you let them be themselves. If that means you have to let them go, so that the person can move onto better things, then that’s what you do. That’s what I’m doing. This is not my blessing, but…I’ve gained some closure, from writing this. I’m a good therapist, if I do say so myself. I haven’t moved on from you, nor have I quite forgiven you, but I’ve taken the first step to solving the problem, which is to acknowledge that it’s there in the first place. Maybe now I’ll be able to walk around without feeling like the entire world is trying to crush my heart.

Bucky, I don’t think I’ve moved on from you. I don’t know if I’ll ever move on from you. Hell, I don’t even know if I want to. And even if I did want to, love, I don’t think I’d know how. How do I move on, Bucky? Tell me how to move on and live a life without you in it?

Is is even possible?

With all my love,

Y/N

—————————————————————

Feeling like you’re in a marginally better headspace than when you first sat down, you slip your phone back into your pocket. You feel good. Well, as good as you can be right now, at least. You stand up and do a big stretch, working out the kinks in the back of your neck and your legs. You shake your jacket off, then sling it over your shoulders. The wind has started to pick up, and you decide to head back to the apartment and try to catch a little more sleep before you have to get to your office.

You yelp when someone smashes into you from behind. It’s a man, that much is clear. He’s big and burly, and the back of your shoulder smarts from where you’ve just crashed into him.

“Sorry, ma’am,” the man mutters, voice low and rumbly.

“It’s okay,” you reply, turning around to face him, “I should’ve watched where I was going,”.

He nods curtly. You can’t see his face, because it’s hidden by the brim of a dark baseball cap and he keeps his head ducked down, as if he wants to avoid eye contact. He’s got a leather jacket on over a henley, and his hands are jammed into his pockets. He side-steps past you. You frown. You know that voice, that jacket looks familiar, and so does his hair—

“Bucky?!” you cry in disbelief.

The man whirls around to face you. It is him. His eyes nearly pop out of his head. “Y/N,” Bucky breathes, utterly astonished.

Looks like you won’t be getting extra sleep anytime soon.

--------------------------------- Condensed tags: @feelmyroarrrr @valkyeries @hollycornish @buckingoffthebed @moonbeambucky @sanjariti @in-winchester-we-trust @badassbaker @retroasgardian @lostinspace33 @waywardpumpkin @jurassicbarnes @buchonians @katielu-blog @alohabucky @sarahmatthews7 @i-should-probably-be-asleep-rn @toongtii @barnesdeservestheworld @amrita31199 @amour-quinn @ugh-supersoldiers

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fluff #my writing #i know this game

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apkdownloadd · 4 years ago

Text

Download Big Buttons Keyboard Standard .APK

Note – this is a SAFE keyboard app. We do not collect data. Please check our permissions.

Avoid those tiny, frustrating buttons on your smartphone keyboard and enjoy the most advanced smartphone keyboard layout in the world.

(attn. devs – the patented Delta II keyboard matrix can be licensed – see below*)

Big Buttons Keyboard also has bigger number & punctuation buttons, making EVERYTHING you type on your smartphone EASIER and more ACCURATE! Bigger buttons are easier to read too.

But the MAGIC is in the patented Delta II modified-QWERTY keyboard layout that is surprisingly fast, accurate & EXTREMELY quick-to-learn!!

A more powerful version of Big Buttons Keyboard is available – Big Buttons Keyboard DELUXE ($2.99) includes themes, emoji, voice-to-text microphone, word prediction, large cursor keys & more.

Note 1 – Important – Big Buttons will NOT work until it is installed!! Press the blue & green BB icon, then press “Installation – Important” at the top of the menu and do both installation steps – it’s easy.

Note 2 – All Android keyboard apps scare you with this warning: “Attention – This input method may be able to collect all the text you type…” Don’t worry. Big Buttons Keyboard is a safe app that requires no risky permissions to run. Big Buttons Keyboard does not collect any of your data, nor can it access your emails, internet, text messages, etc. like most apps do, so type with confidence.

Note 3 – If any download from the Android Market hangs, go to your: Settings > Applications > Manage Applications > Market: Then Clear data and Clear cache. Then try to download again.

Ideal for senior citizens and anyone with diminished vision and other eyesight issues that affect the elderly.

About the Delta II Keyboard matrix:

Skydiving equipment designers consider the user’s muscle memory reflexes to make their products consistent and quick to learn & operate.

Chicago Logic uses the same muscle memory consideration to create a superior mobile keyboard having big, easy to read, accurate to press buttons – arranged in an ingenious layout that is learned almost instantly.

The patented Delta II tm modified QWERTY keyboard layout appeals to your muscle memory reflexes. Every letter is in proximity to where you already look and reach for it on your PC (QWERTY) keyboard.

The result? Your muscle memory reflexes cause you to learn and type on the new keyboard extremely fast.

With way fewer typos.

Whether reaching for emergency handles on a parachute harness, or reaching for buttons on a keyboard – you want your muscle memory reflexes working with you, not against you.

Delta II – Born for Mobile.

Welcome to Big Buttons Keyboard for Android.

* Attention mobile developers, manufacturers, integrators – don’t force impossibly small QWERTY on your customers. Give them a superior, proven mobile keyboard layout – designed for humans. License Delta II for use in smartphones, TV remotes, portable medical equipment, automobiles, aircraft cockpits, etc. Delta II is compatible with touch screens, hard button keyboards, next word predictors, swiper’s, stylus, handicapped accessibility, senior citizens and more.. US Patent 7,658,562. Contact: [email protected] Fixes delete key issue in browsers.

Previous release:

Adjustable Keyboard Height.

Long-press the ‘?’ button for short-cut to BB menu.

Taller bottom row for better accuracy.

More Alternative Characters.

Android 4.0 compatible installation.

from APK Download https://apkdownloadd.com/download-big-buttons-keyboard-standard-apk/

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fmservers · 6 years ago

Text

The best and worst April Fools’ jokes from around the web

The tech world sure does love a good prank.

While some sat out on April Fools’, a number of big tech companies embraced the opportunity to waste time this way.

So without any further ado, here are the April Fools’ pranks from around the web:

The good

1) Google Tulip

youtube

Google Tulip, in my humble opinion, is Google’s best April Fools’ joke this year. It’s a product that lets you communicate with tulips (they’re making progress with cacti, which just want to be left alone, it would appear).

The premise itself is par for the course on April Fools’ day — the perfect mix of mildly plausible and “but why?” — but a few of the comedic touches on the video really make this prank shine.

If the bit at the :54 mark doesn’t tickle you, then I fully respect your opinion but we are very different people and I doubt we could ever be real friends.

2) Shutterstock stock IRL

youtube

This happens to be one of my favorite April Fools’ jokes from a tech company this year. Shutterstock is unveiling ‘plans’ to build the world’s largest physical library, called stock IRL, which would host “shelves upon shelves upon shelves” of stock photos, watermarked videos and music tracks.

Best line: “Because sometimes innovation means moving backwards.”

Sometimes, the idea itself can be an obvious prank as long as it’s executed well. It doesn’t hurt that Shutterstock does a pretty solid job marketing its actual product here, either.

3) Spotify Discocover Weekly

Spotify’s April fools prank is pretty good tho pic.twitter.com/yTSdvzJdtS

— Christopher Mims (@mims) April 1, 2019

This one is elegant and delightful. Spotify has transformed your Discover Weekly playlist to feature disco hits, or disco takes on non-disco hits. I’ve been listening to mine this morning and it’s solid. Oh, and the playlist is called Discocover Weekly.

Lovely.

4) Duolingo Push

youtube

The best way to learn a language is to practice every day. So Duolingo is introducing a more effective way to remind you with Duolingo Push.

“We’re taking push notifications out of your phone and into the real world! Duo the Owl will literally show up to remind you to practice. It’s the green-glove treatment you’ve always wanted.”

5) Google Maps Snake

If this is a prank, it’s an incredibly generous and sweet prank that never hurt anyone. Google has put the classic Snakes game into the Google Maps app, for both iOS and Android, as well as on a standalone site for folks who don’t have the app.

It’s fun and simple and makes me wonder why this nostalgic little Easter Egg can’t live in the Google Maps app forever and for always.

(I died for that ^^ screenshot. You’re welcome.)

6) ProductHunt IPO

ProductHunt joked that it’s going public simply as a result of peer pressure. It also highlighted some of the April Fools’ pranks coming through on its own platform, including a SideDoor into college admission and a monstrous USB hub.

7) Waymo Pet

youtube

It’s exactly what you think it is. Waymo Pet is an autonomous car service exclusively for pets. The real beauty in this April Fools’ joke is in the details — the idea of Waymo employees overthinking the interior of a car based on the type of pet that may be riding in it is relatively humorous.

Best line: “Research shows us that cats love laser pointers.”

The not so good

1) Adobe Capture

Adobe wonders what would happen if designers could spark a memory through the smell of a particular ad or logo. Heralding the arrival of this hellscape is Adobe Capture, which uses Adobe Scent-sei technology to give users the ability to capture scents in the real world (through the camera?) and preview scents via the phone’s charging port.

Don’t shoot the messenger. It gets both better and worse from here.

2) General Cat-A-List

General Catalyst has spruced up their landing page with loads of cat gifs, powered by Giphy. Yes, General Catalyst is an investor in Giphy.

“We took this process seriously. To best convey that we sit at the cutting edge of all things new, bright and shiny, we spitballed our way through design-thinking sessions and administered Rorschach tests across the firm. We concluded that our brand should land at the intersection of tech + fun. What could illustrate tech-enabled fun better than the cat gif?”

3) Google Files Screen Cleaner:

youtube

Google is adding a new Screen Cleaner feature to the Files app. To clean it from the inside out. According to the video, the features uses “a smudge detector API” to identify imperfections, along with” geometric dirt models” and a “haptic micromovement generator” to sh-sh-shake it off.

And because they already committed, the team at Google decided to double down and say that the Screen Cleaner also uses micro vibrations to create a non-stick shield around your phone. Cause why not?

4) NVIDIA GeForce RTX R.O.N.

youtube

The NVIDIA GeForce RON AI personal assistant, as the name might suggest, is a classic case of too many pranky ideas coming to fruition at once.

The Echo-like device (but also with a holographic display, for some reason) offers in-game coaching (insults), a rage converter (which translates your screamed profanities into words of encouragement for your inept teammates), and the Troll Destroyer (using internet-sourced facts to take down trolls on forums). Those are just a few of the features of the RON AI personal assistant, which feels a bit too bonkers to be funny.

“A” for effort, though.

5) 1Password

1Password just went for it today with the introduction of the 1Password Password Book, which is just a journal where you write down your passwords.

The landing page touts the book’s features, vacillating between pros and cons like “It’s Super Private” and “You can share your passwords.” Of course, analog password storage isn’t the worst way to store your passwords, especially if those passwords are strong in the first place and you’re keeping your Password Book in a safe place.

Alas, the Password Book is just a prank.

6) OnePlus Warp Car

The OnePlus #WarpCar is coming. Are you ready to say goodbye to gasoline? #NeverSettle

— OnePlus (@oneplus) April 1, 2019

For years, rumors swirled that Apple might be working on a car. For April Fools’, the smartphone newcomer OnePlus teased an upcoming electric vehicle called the OnePlus Warp.

Shrug.

7) Razr Ping

youtube

Gaming hardware company Razr took some inspiration from Apex Legends, the hottest new game on the market. Razr Ping hypothetically lets people ping real-world objects with their smartphone, similar to the non-verbal comms system in Apex Legends.

Low-key, though, that comms system may very well be the exemplar for other games and even non-gaming platforms. Just not in the way Razr imagines here, obviously.

8) Roblox Console

I’m not entirely sure what Roblox is doing here with the introduction of the first Roblox gaming console, offering “a new way to make your dreams a reality in stunning, 8K ultra-high definition graphics and at greater than 120 frames per second.”

“Deep underground in a secret laboratory, our engineers developed a groundbreaking processor that could distill imagination into a concentrated source of infinite energy,” reads the blog post. “That energy is what fuels the unbelievable technology in Robox.”

If it’s supposed to be funny, I don’t get it.

9) Roku PressPaws Remote

youtube

According to Roku, 72 percent of their users said they thought their dogs would enjoy TV more if they could control what’s on. Thus, the PressPaws Remote.

“This paws-specific remote could be a huge untapped market for us,” says Lloyd Klarke, director of product management for the Roku Pet Division. The remote has shortcut buttons shaped like paws, because the buttons are the only real barrier between a dog’s ability to master the TV remote.

10) SodastreamME

youtube

And then there’s such a thing as trying too hard. Sodastream presents the SodasteamME, which was built in partnership with astronaut Scott Kelly and allows folks to power their Sodastream with their own burps.

We may never know why.

11) Stack Overflow

StackOverflow also went for a simple prank, taking the entire website back to the early days o the internet, complete with Comic Sans typeface. It’s jarring. You can check it out here.

12) Tinder Height Verification Badge

Introducing the thing you never asked for, but definitely always wanted—Tinder Height Verification. Coming soon. Read more about it here: https://t.co/8MER0L1U6W pic.twitter.com/hZ507zSoic

— Tinder (@Tinder) March 29, 2019

It’s funny because it’s true? On March 29, Tinder teased a new Height Verification Badge (HVB), which would force users to verify their age by taking a photo of themselves standing next to any commercial building. Remember, this is three full days before April 1.

The blog post has at least one typo, and some questionable language. (Exhibit A: “Did it ever occur to you that honesty is what separates humans from sinister monsters? Of course not.”) There is also, however, some hint of truth. (Exhibit B: “Only 14.5% of the U.S. male population is actually 6’ and beyond. So, we’re expecting to see a huge decline in the 80% of males on Tinder who are claiming that they are well over 6 feet.”)

For a minute, we couldn’t decide if it was real or not. But Tinder has confirmed that this is an April Fools’ prank.

13) T-Mobile Phone BoothE

youtube

If you’re still here, we’re done. T-Mobile’s sacrificial lamb in this blood bath of a ‘holiday’ is the T-Mobile Phone BoothE, which is a soundproof phone booth.

Of note: T-Mobile CEO John Legere was an active participant in this prank, which raises concerns, but then again that’s sort of his style.

Via Jordan Crook https://techcrunch.com

#TechCrunch

0 notes

toomanysinks · 6 years ago

Text

The best and worst April Fools’ jokes from around the web

The tech world sure does love a good prank.

While some sat out on April Fools’, a number of big tech companies embraced the opportunity to waste time this way.

So without any further ado, here are the April Fools’ pranks from around the web:

The good

1) Google Tulip

youtube

If the bit at the :54 mark doesn’t tickle you, then I fully respect your opinion but we are very different people and I doubt we could ever be real friends.

2) Shutterstock stock IRL

youtube

Best line: “Because sometimes innovation means moving backwards.”

Sometimes, the idea itself can be an obvious prank as long as it’s executed well. It doesn’t hurt that Shutterstock does a pretty solid job marketing its actual product here, either.

3) Spotify Discocover Weekly

Spotify’s April fools prank is pretty good tho pic.twitter.com/yTSdvzJdtS

— Christopher Mims (@mims) April 1, 2019

Lovely.

4) Duolingo Push

youtube

The best way to learn a language is to practice every day. So Duolingo is introducing a more effective way to remind you with Duolingo Push.

5) Google Maps Snake

It’s fun and simple and makes me wonder why this nostalgic little Easter Egg can’t live in the Google Maps app forever and for always.

(I died for that ^^ screenshot. You’re welcome.)

6) ProductHunt IPO

7) Waymo Pet

youtube

Best line: “Research shows us that cats love laser pointers.”

The not so good

1) Adobe Capture

Don’t shoot the messenger. It gets both better and worse from here.

2) General Cat-A-List

General Catalyst has spruced up their landing page with loads of cat gifs, powered by Giphy. Yes, General Catalyst is an investor in Giphy.

3) Google Files Screen Cleaner:

youtube

And because they already committed, the team at Google decided to double down and say that the Screen Cleaner also uses micro vibrations to create a non-stick shield around your phone. Cause why not?

4) NVIDIA GeForce RTX R.O.N.

youtube

The NVIDIA GeForce RON AI personal assistant, as the name might suggest, is a classic case of too many pranky ideas coming to fruition at once.

“A” for effort, though.

5) 1Password

1Password just went for it today with the introduction of the 1Password Password Book, which is just a journal where you write down your passwords.

Alas, the Password Book is just a prank.

6) OnePlus Warp Car

The OnePlus #WarpCar is coming. Are you ready to say goodbye to gasoline? #NeverSettle

— OnePlus (@oneplus) April 1, 2019

For years, rumors swirled that Apple might be working on a car. For April Fools’, the smartphone newcomer OnePlus teased an upcoming electric vehicle called the OnePlus Warp.

Shrug.

7) Razr Ping

youtube

Low-key, though, that comms system may very well be the exemplar for other games and even non-gaming platforms. Just not in the way Razr imagines here, obviously.

8) Roblox Console

If it’s supposed to be funny, I don’t get it.

9) Roku PressPaws Remote

youtube

According to Roku, 72 percent of their users said they thought their dogs would enjoy TV more if they could control what’s on. Thus, the PressPaws Remote.

10) SodastreamME

youtube

We may never know why.

11) Stack Overflow

StackOverflow also went for a simple prank, taking the entire website back to the early days o the internet, complete with Comic Sans typeface. It’s jarring. You can check it out here.

12) Tinder Height Verification Badge

Introducing the thing you never asked for, but definitely always wanted—Tinder Height Verification. Coming soon. Read more about it here: https://t.co/8MER0L1U6W pic.twitter.com/hZ507zSoic

— Tinder (@Tinder) March 29, 2019

For a minute, we couldn’t decide if it was real or not. But Tinder has confirmed that this is an April Fools’ prank.

13) T-Mobile Phone BoothE

youtube

If you’re still here, we’re done. T-Mobile’s sacrificial lamb in this blood bath of a ‘holiday’ is the T-Mobile Phone BoothE, which is a soundproof phone booth.

Of note: T-Mobile CEO John Legere was an active participant in this prank, which raises concerns, but then again that’s sort of his style.

source https://techcrunch.com/2019/04/01/the-best-and-worst-april-fools-jokes-from-the-tech-world-2019/

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dyernews · 8 years ago

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Creating, Publishing, and Selling Your Own eBook

As a writer, I can tell you there’s no better feeling then having someone read and enjoy your work. Well, maybe one thing better: making money at the same time. Of course there are many obstacles that stand in between authors and profit, including the costs of publishing and the time it takes to complete a project. However, e-publishing changes all of that.

Although there will always be a few readers who insist on feeling the physical pages under their fingers, many have embraced eBooks both for their convenience and low cost. As a result, e-publishing has boomed and given independent authors an outstanding outlet for selling their books.

If you’ve considered writing and selling your own eBook, this guide will cover what’s great about e-publishing, what platforms exist for self-publishing authors, and the technical how-to’s of turning your manuscript into a reader-ready file and uploading it to be sold.

The Benefits of E-Publishing

While e-publishing might not have the same prestige or sense of nostalgia that physical, printed books do, eBooks can actually be far more lucrative than their analog counterparts. In fact, e-publishing has really helped usher in an age of author-entrepreneurs (or “authorpreneurs,” if you will) who earn a living through their prolific writings. Better yet, thanks in part to the low costs of launching an eBook coupled with the ease of publishing, the level of independence and creative freedom that eBooks offer is truly unmatched.

Here are a few other major benefits inherit to e-publishing:

Sell for any price

A recurring theme you’ll notice in this section is flexibility. That motif begins with how eBooks are priced. If you look on Amazon right now, you’re likely to see titles priced from as low as $.99 all the up to around $20 or more. As a result, you can price your eBook to meet your goals. For example, those more concerned with readership than money might choose a lower list price while those who want to earn a return for their hard work might put a premium on that. Additionally, you can test demand at various price points to ultimately land on the one that works for you and your title.

Easy to update

Not only can you change your eBook pricing on the fly but can also update the book itself as necessary. Find a typo in your book after it’s already hit the market? This would be a major cause of frustration for those with printed titles but with eBooks you can simply make the correction and re-upload the file — phew!

Offer enhanced content

Since eBooks are, by their nature, digital, there’s plenty of chances to add multimedia elements to them to give readers an enhanced experience. This could include color photos, web links, or simply easy-to-access footnotes they can “flip” to while reading. Keep in mind that not all of these elements will work on every device, but with many people upgrading their e-readers and/or tablets, these types of enhancement are growing in popularity.

Any length is fine

If the prospect of penning a full-length book intimidates you, take heart in knowing that eBooks don’t necessarily have the same length requirement that printed titles do. As mentioned, since eBooks can be priced a number of different ways, there’s no need to write 200 pages of material just because you feel like you should give readers their money’s worth. Instead you can write what makes sense for your title — as long or as short — and then price accordingly.

Limited capital investment required

Another major perk of e-publishing is how little it takes to get started. In fact, in many cases, the only expenditure is your time. While you may want to put a little money into your title for things like editing and layout, it is technically possible to put out an eBook for $0 upfront since Amazon, iBooks, and other outlets simply take a cut of actual sales.

Reach a wide audience

Let’s face it: people are impulsive. Similarly, many among us want instant gratification whenever possible. Luckily, e-publishing buys into this mentality and makes it easy for readers to buy new books with the click of a button and have them download instantly. Furthermore, as we’ll discuss in the next section, you may even be able to entice readers by letting them consume your work for free, which, in turn, hopefully means they’ll spread the word to friends.

Choosing an E-Publishing Platform

The term “eBook” is so generic that many likely assume they’re all the same thing. While that may to true to a certain extent, there are now many different outlets for selling eBook titles that authors should be aware of. In many cases there are few negatives to listing your book on one or all of these platforms, because each offers a chance to reach an audience that may not have encountered your book otherwise.

Below is a look at a few of the top eBook markets and platforms you should consider listing your title on:

Kindle and KDP Select

When it comes to eBook sales, Amazon is far and away the biggest player in the game. In fact, their Kindle e-reader device has nearly become synonymous with the medium despite imitators and other outlets joining the market. Additionally, Kindle devices have evolved greatly in recent years, essentially turning into tablets. The Kindle format still leads the way in terms of eBook downloads and is an absolute must for all authors. It’s also worth noting that Kindle’s app means that their titles can be read on a large number of devices including smartphones, tablets, and desktop computers.

Beyond the regular Kindle program (often abbreviated as KDP for Kindle Direct Publishing) that allows authors to set their price and earn a royalty on each download, Amazon also offers their KDP Select program. By signing up for Select, authors will allow Amazon Prime users to get their titles for free and get paid for the number of pages read. The catch is that Kindle Select demands eBook exclusivity, meaning you cannot list your title on iBooks, Nook, or Kobo (although printed books are still okay). That said, you can still opt in or out of Select at anytime, so it may be worth trying out — just keep in mind that results may vary from author to author and title to title.

iBooks

As you can probably guess by the lowercase “i” that precedes the phrase, iBooks is Apple’s eBook platform. Similar to iTunes, titles can be downloaded via iBooks app on iOS devices or Mac computers. Obviously this may limit your reading audience, although there are a great number of devoted Apple users around the world.

One truly remarkable aspect of publishing on iBooks is the ability to generate codes for free downloads. This is something that’s not offered by Amazon and can really come in handy for giving away promotional or review copies of your book without having to spend any money. Personally, I originally listed my book on iBooks at launch simply to take advantage of the codes for promotion before eventually delisting and trying Amazon Select.

Nook

You may recall that Nook was book retailer Barnes & Nobel’s answer to Amazon’s Kindle device. While it didn’t quite catch on as they had hoped, there is still a dedicated Nook fanbase. Additionally B&N also offers a Nook app, opening the format up to a much wider audience.

Kobo

Kobo is another universal eBook platform that offers apps for iOS, Android, desktop, and even Blackberry and Windows phones. Like the others on the list, Kobo has also earned some loyalists even in the face of stiff competition from Amazon and maintains an international presence. Because of this, if you’re not joining the Kindle Select program, it may be worth adding this outlet to your list as well.

How to Create Your eBook

Preparing your manuscript

Like with any book, it all starts with writing your manuscript. This can be done in any manner or format you choose, although keep in mind that you will eventually need to convert it to a digital format. For that reason most authors prefer to write using a word processor like Microsoft Word (I sure do). But, up until it’s time to actually export the eBook, do whatever you like to compile your thoughts and build your project.

After you’re happy with the content of your book, it’s always a good idea to get some extra eyes on it. Whether that means hiring an editor, copyeditor, or just having a few eagle-eyed friends take a pass at is entirely up to you. Again, one benefit of e-publishing is that you will have a chance to correct errors even after you publish. That said you still want to make the best first impression possible with readers so don’t skip proofreading.

Laying out your book

With the text locked down, it’s time to start thinking about design. Admittedly, this step might seem more important to printed books than digital ones, but investing in a good design is something to be considered. In fact, you may want to take advantage of the medium and include images and other visual elements that might be pricey if they were to be printed.

If you want to get fancy, you can always hire a designer to help you layout your book and make it look great. Alternatively, I recommend trying your hand at Adobe InDesign and see what you can accomplish (for more on laying out your own title, see my full guide to self-publishing). InDesign will also make it a little easier to convert your title as well, but we’ll get there in a minute.

Even if you forgo the use of images, drop caps, or other design elements, be sure to pay attention to other details such as the font you choose, how your paragraphs are indented, and how your chapter titles look. I also recommend looking at other professional eBooks, which might inspire some ideas or at least show you how things are done. Still, at the end of the day, readability is the most important factor.

Reflowable versus fixed design

There are two main types of eBooks: one’s that are reflowable and ones with fixed designs. These terms refer to how your book will adapt to and display on various devices. Reflowable means that the text, images, and other elements will resize themselves depending on the device being used and the settings the user has chosen. On the other hand, fixed designs will stay as-is, similar to a .PDF file.

In most cases, reflowable files are preferred by e-publishing authors. However, if you have a design-heavy book — a common example being a childen’s book where the images and text need to stay in a specific place — having a fixed layout may be your only choice. Unfortunately, using a fixed layout may limit you in terms of the devices your book will be compatible with or display well on.

Converting your book for e-publication

Depending on what operating system you have, what outlet you plan to upload your book to, and what program you’re using to export your book, there are several different methods you can use to turn your manuscript into an actual eBook. For the purposes of this article, I will discuss first how to export your book from Microsoft Word and from InDesign for the best results.

First, I highly recommend a free program called Calibre, which is available for Windows, Mac, and Linux. This powerful tool will allow you turn Word documents, text files, .pdfs, and other file types into the .epub or .mobi files you’ll need for uploading your book. Additionally, it will let you customize the settings on your book and even auto-generate the table of contents data.

Once you have Calibre downloaded, you’ll see an option to add books. For a barebones eBook, you can select your Word or other text document file and add it to your Calibre library. From there, you’ll be able to edit the metadata, upload your cover image, and change other settings to prepare your book for conversion. After that, select the “Convert books” option to load even more options.

If this your first time e-publishing, the number of options offered may be a bit overwhelming at first. However, keep in mind that you’ll have more than one shot to play around with different settings before actually uploading your book to sell. Additionally, if nothing else, at least take the time to fill out all of the metadata, as this will prove important later.

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On the left side of the screen you’ll see the type of file you’ve uploaded. Then, on the right, you’ll see a pull down menu for the output format. You’ll most likely want to export your book to .epub format as this is the most common file eBook file type. Incidentally, Kindle used to not allow .epub uploads but has since joined the party.

Speaking of Kindle, another helpful tool is the Kindle Previewer. As it’s name implies, this desktop application allows you to view your file as it will display on a number of Kindle devices. A word of warning: the app’s interface is less than glamorous and not entirely intuitive either. Because of this, it may take a few minutes to find everything you’ll need. However, I recommend changing the settings and viewing your file on as many different devices as possible — yes, some people do still have those old devices. One other note: you can upload an .epub to Previewer but it will still convert it to .mobi. This shouldn’t affect your viewing experience, but it will result in an extra file being dropped in your folder or on your desktop.

Kindle Previewer

Meanwhile, if you’ve taken my advice and chosen to layout your book with InDesign, you can actually skip the Calibre step as the program allows you to export directly to .epub. To do so, go to File > Export and select EPUB (either reflowable or fixed layout). After clicking “save,” you’ll be able to adjust your setting, enter your metadata, and finally save .epub.

Uploading Your eBook

Once you’ve converted and tested your eBook file, it’s time to submit and get your book listed. Depending on how many outlets you choose to sell on, this could take you a fair a bit of time. That’s because you’ll need to create an account and, in some cases, download an application in order to list your work.

Before we get too detailed, here’s how to list your work on each of the four platforms we discussed earlier.

Kindle Direct Publishing

In all likelihood, your first stop on your uploading tour will be Amazon’s KDP. As mentioned, the first step to publishing with KDP is creating an account, but there’s a good chance you already have one. That’s because your regular Amazon account can double as a KDP one, allowing you to easily log in and get started.

Once you’ve cleared that low hurdle, you’ll be taken to a dashboard where you can start creating your Kindle eBook. On the first page you’ll find spots for all the basic info — title, author name, language — as well as options to write a description, enter keywords, and select categories so readers can find your book. Also on this page you can select whether you’d like to make your book available immediately or accept preorders for it.

The next step is to upload the actual content of your book. Once you select your file, the site will launch a slicker version of Previewer that you can use to give your book one last look. Keep in mind that this mini-tool has far fewer options that the full Previewer app and doesn’t have any older Kindle models, so I still recommend using the real thing before submitting. Also this step is where you can upload your cover or even create one using Amazon’s Cover Creator. Lastly, you can enter your ISBN and publisher if applicable, although this is not required.

Pricing Your Kindle Book

Finally, it’s time to talk pricing. One of the stranger questions presented to you at this time is whether you’d like a 70% royalty of a 35% royalty. Obviously choosing the greater number would make the most sense, but there are a few hitches. For one, only books priced between $2.99 and $9.99 are eligible for the 70% royalty structure. Additionally, this plan is subject to “delivery fees” that go up depending on the size of your book and cut into your share of the profits. However, the 35% plan allows you to set any price you want from $.99 to $200 and doesn’t deduct delivery fees. Another important note is that titles that choose the 70% structure are required to join the Kindle Book Lending program, which allows users to lend titles to their friends and family. If this sounds confusing, there’s good news: you can simply enter the price you want to list at and Amazon will show you a full chart comparing your options. You’ll also notice that your book will be listed in a vast number of international marketplaces — some earning you a 70% royalty and others 35%.

Finally, before submitting for good, there are two more matters to consider: Kindle Select and Matchbook. We’ll start with the latter because it’s less likely to apply; basically, if you plan on selling a printed version of your book, you can offer the Kindle version to readers at a discounted price (or even free). Selecting this option will let you select the price and view the royalty you’d receive.

As for KDP Select, the amount you could receive is not nearly as straightforward. Simply put, the program allows Prime users to download your title for free, although Amazon will pay you based on how many pages of your book are read by users overall. However, the price per page is not set in advance. Instead, you’ll get a share of the KDP Select Global Fund. Also recall that KDP Select requires eBook exclusivity, meaning you cannot upload your title to iBooks, Nook, or Kobo. For all these reason, you should take a hard look at the KDP Select help page before making your decision.

iBooks via iTunes Producer

When it comes to uploading to iBooks, there’s good and bad news. On the bright side, there are far less options and things to think about than with KDP. However, getting to the point where you can upload your book is oddly difficult and requires jumping through several hoops. This is especially true if you don’t own a Mac, in which case it’s probably not even worth trying, seeing as the required software isn’t available for Windows.

So Mac users, if you don’t already have one, you’ll need to obtain an Apple ID. From there, you’ll need to head over to iTunes Connect and sign up to be eligible to sell iBooks. Side note: iTunes Connect is where you’ll be able to view sales and generate promo codes once your book is published.

The next step is to download iTunes Producer. Oddly, the link to download this app is kind of hidden. You can get to it by clicking the Resources and Help icon when logged into iTunes Connect or just go straight here. As a reminder, this program is only available on Mac and, more specifically, only those running OS 10.10 or higher.

But that’s not all — as I was refreshing my knowledge on the process in order to write this, I ran into yet another problem when trying to log into Producer. I was informed that I needed an “app-specific password.” To get this, I had visit the Apple ID site, go to my account, and click the app-specific password link to have one generated for me. Look, I know Apple’s been on a big security kick ever since the government tried to get them to hack the iPhone, but this is getting a little crazy.

Luckily, once you make into the Fort Knox of eBook platforms, the Apple simplicity you know and love kicks in. You can drag and drop your cover art, add up to five screenshots of your book, and edit all of your title details. Then, by clicking the “Files” tab next to “Details,” you can also drag and drop your .epub file. Next to where you drop your full-book file, you’ll see a separate section for a sample. One cool feature is that you can actually create a custom sample that users can download, although one will also be auto-generated from your main file if you choose to skip this step.

After filling everything out and uploading your files, just hit “Submit” in the upper right corner and you’re done. Well, actually there’s another important step: you still need to price your book. To do this, head back to iTunes Connect. In terms of royalty, Apple pays out 70% on your sales.

Nook Press

Next up is Nook Press, which may just be the easiest of the four platforms to sign up for and get your eBook published. For one, the sign-up process is all on the same page, so no need to visit several sites and download a program like with iBooks. But the simplicity doesn’t stop there.

For Nook Press, you’ll be taken to a portal where you can upload your file (even in .doc format if you want) right off the bat. One thing that’s kind of nice about Nook is that you can actually continue to edit you manuscript even after it’s uploaded, making it even easier to correct typos. Beyond that, there’s a section to upload your cover, followed by the description and category sections. Lastly, like with Amazon, Nook prefers pricing between $2.99 and $9.99. Setting your list price between those two will earn you a 65% royalty while pricing outside of that will get you 40% (and the site will calculate your royalty on the page so you know what you’ll be getting).

Kobo Writing Life

Creating a Kobo Writing Life account is also fairly simple, although it will take a little bit more than with Nook. After entering your typical info, you’ll get an e-mail confirming your account. Once confirmed, it will also want you to set up your payment info, which you can close and ignore, but it will come up again during the process.

Back on the site, your dashboard will give you the option to start a new title. Clicking that button will lead you through a series of steps, beginning with your book info and inserting your cover. Next up is loading your book file.

Following the file upload, it’s time to select your rights and distribution. This includes the option to join Kobo Plus. While this program that gives readers unlimited access to books may sound like KDP Select, it does not require exclusivity. Oh yeah, one other thing: it’s also only currently offered to readers in the Netherland and Belgium, but any author can still opt-in.

Before you can get to the pricing section, if you didn’t already set up your payment info, you will have to now. With that done, you can set up your price. Kobo also offers different royalties based on price, but theirs are quite simple: 45% royalty for books under $2.99 and 70% for anything $2.99 or more. Once you’ve settled on a price, you can set a release date and hit “Publish eBook.”

Signing Up with eBook Distributors

There is one other option to consider when looking at self-publishing your eBook and that’s using a distributor. Today there are several companies that will do some of the leg work for you and help you get your book out to world… for a price. Here’s what you should know about eBook distributors.

What are eBook distributors?

First off, eBook distributors are different that eBook publishers. The latter selects authors to work with, collaborates with them on editing their manuscript, designs a cover, and helps them market their title. Meanwhile, a distributor simply helps get your book into the various digital marketplaces. As a result, publishers will typically take a much larger percentage of your sales than distributors will, although eBook distributors will still charge a fee upfront or take a cut over time.

Some of the biggest eBook distributors include Smashwords, BookBaby, Draft2Digital, and Inscribe Digital. While they all fall under the same basic category, each of these companies offers different services and pricing. Because of this, you’ll want to be sure to pick a distributor that meets your needs and avoid paying for things you don’t really need.

Why you’d want a distributor?

The biggest reason you’d want an eBook distributor is to save time and get help with some of the technicals of publishing an eBook. For example, many distributors will actually convert your eBook from a Word document for you (making the majority of this guide for naught) and might offer editing services for a fee. Furthermore, you won’t have to worry about submitting to each of platform individually, as they’ll take care of that process for you.

Speaking of platforms, there are some outlets your book can only be listed on if you have a distributor. The largest site in this category is Scribd, which offers users access to unlimited eBooks and audiobooks for a monthly fee. This could potentially be a great opportunity for authors to attract readers but, at this time, Scribd doesn’t allow for direct uploads from authors. Instead you’ll have to use one of distributors mentioned in the “what are eBook distributors?” section in order to get your title listed on the service.

Why wouldn’t you want a distributor?

One word: money. As mentioned, some distributors will charge you an upfront fee for things like converting your book while others will take a portion (usually around 10%) of your royalties along the way in exchange for their services. Therefore you really need to consider whether using an eBook distributor is a good investment or a waste of cash. Ultimately the answer will depend on your needs and your technical know how.

Final Notes

Hopefully this level of information doesn’t overwhelm you. Keep in mind that a lot of this will also make a lot more sense once you try these platforms for yourself and have a point of reference. That said, I did want to mention a couple more things before sending you on your way:

Metadata

Mentioned earlier but not nearly to the extent it deserves, metadata is a must when publishing your eBook. This information along with the keywords, categories, and descriptions you include on each site will inform how readers find your book. Additionally, this information may be viewable by users on their devices so ensure that it’s complete, correct, and well crafted.

Multimedia

I also briefly mentioned the ability to add more multimedia elements to your eBooks. Unfortunately, this is not an area I have much experience in. That said, I do know Apple offers a free Mac OS app called iBooks Author with lots of options for creating interactive books to be sold on iTunes. Other than that, I’d recommend looking for resources specifically geared toward that genre of eBook.

Table of contents

If you were to just upload your word file without converting to .epub, one element you might miss is the ability to mark your chapters and allow readers to easily navigate between them. One really great and simple way to fix this is to set up Calibre to recognize chapter headings and mark them accordingly. For example, you could use Heading 2s (H2s) to mark your chapters and then have the app mark a chapter every time it sees an H2. This might sound complicated, but all you really have to do is go to Table of Contents when converting your book, click the magic wand on the right, select H2 from the pull down menu, and follow the instructions for the rest.

ISBN

If you have an ISBN for a print edition of your book, do not enter that number for any of the eBooks you upload to the various platforms. EBooks and other editions of titles need their own ISBNs and so duplicating them could cause issues. Luckily, none of the outlets discussed require you to have an ISBN, so feel free to always leave that blank.

Conclusion

For authors, e-publishing has been a revelation. While some may bemoan the medium’s affect on traditional bookstores, there’s no denying the outstanding platform that it has given writers to reach their audience. Additionally, with a low cost of entry, many authors can afford to live off of their eBook sales and bring their readers even more to enjoy.

If you’ve been considering getting started in e-publishing and creating your own eBook, what’s stopping you? Honestly, the hardest part is finishing your manuscript. With this guide and some trial and error, you’ll be well on your way to publishing your eBook and (hopefully) bringing in some cash.

The post Creating, Publishing, and Selling Your Own eBook appeared first on Dyer News.

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