#and if ur not marty thank you so much for loving my boy

[missnxthingg]

𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬, 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑭𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑳𝑫 . (𝑺𝑴𝑨𝑼 𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵) - 𝑆𝐼𝑋 (𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 - We finally arrived to the last chapter. I'm so happy you guys came along this journey and this is a wholesome story (that you'll only understand if you read the actually fanfic. Thank you so much for coming along the road, I hope to see you in more of my stories soon.

original chapter | series masterlist | main masterlist | taglist | pt 2

yourusername

Monte Carlo, Monaco

yourusername new home, who dis?

tagged: landonorris

username1 OMG they moved in together 😭

username2 it's so emotional to see little lando and y/n going from best friends to living together

↪ username3 i know right? 🥺 the best slowburn/best friends to lovers story

username4 We just know Y/N decorated the cutest house in Monaco for their little family

↪ username5 our girly has the best taste ❤ i mean, look at her boyfriend ↪ username6 She posted a little bit of the house of her stories and oh... it's beautiful

maxfewtrell I want to visit the new house

↪ yourusername ur welcomed any time ❤

landonorris sleepovers every night with the prettiest girls! ❤

↪ yourusername i love you muppet

landonorris

landonorris Five years ago, my best friend blessed me with another tiny best friend. I remember when I held Olivia in the arms for the first time, and I never felt so connected with someone. She taught be that love is more than blood and heritage, it's about being there and showing that you care. She taught me the purest form of love, and slowly turned me into a better person. Today, I feel proud to officially, and legally, call her my daughter. Thank you for chosing me as your daddy. I promise to love and take care of you until the end of of my days.

yourusername I'm so proud of you! And I'm so glad to officially call you Ollie's father. I love you both so much, and I love our family

↪ landonorris I love you so much ❤

username1 HE ADOPTED OLLIE 😭

username2 Daddy Norris, oh God 🥺

username3 i can't believe he decided on adopting ollie, they are so cute!

↪username4 i mean, it was a long time coming. he has always been olivia's dad ↪username5 now we get to see daddy lando content, i'm so ready

maxfewtrell Proud of you, mate! Now I can officially be Ollie's favourite uncle since you're stepping down from this position

↪landonorris You can take it, mate ❤ love you

martingarrix So cute! Congratulations to you and to Y/N. You have the prettiest family

↪landonorris I love you, mate ❤ ↪yourusername Thank you so much, Marty!

username6 Can we please have one more kid soon? 🥺

↪username7 ughhhh i would KILL for a baby norris ↪username8 just imagine ollie as a big sister, so cute! liked by the author

maxverstappen1 Congratulations, mate! She's the cutest, and you're gonna love it

georgerussell63 Daddy Norris! Well done ❤

lewishamilton Sending my love to you and Y/N ❤ congratulations!

oscarpiastri Putting more crayons on my backpack to keep little Ollie entertainned ❤ Happy to see your family taking form. Congratulations!

↪yourusername Love you, Osc! (Ollie says thank you for the crayons) ↪landonorris Thank you, mate!

carlossainz55 Congrats, Cabrón! Love to you, Y/N and Olivia. Proud to see how far you've come since drooling over her in your rookie year

↪username9 they really love each other for the longest time 😭

charles_leclerc Sending love to you three! Hoping to meet you soon in Monaco so Ollie can play with Leo

↪ alexandrasaintmleux please ❤ it will be the cutest ↪yourusername Play date soon! ❤

yourusername

yourusername my favourite boy became a daddy today, so we threw him a party with cake and everything ❤ i love you so much, super dad

tagged: landonorris

landonorris I love you more, love of my life and mother of my children

↪username1 CHILDREN? AS IN PLURAL? ↪username2 Mr Lando Norris, do you have something to tell us? ↪username3 guys, if y/n is pregnant i'm going to be the happiest person alive

f1gossip

f1gossip Baby Norris on the way! Y/N L/N is already in Australia for the race and was seen walking around Melbourne with a big belly. Recently, Lando adopted her first born, Olivia, and raised rumours about them expecting a second child. Looks like the fans were right

username1 WE ARE SO READY FOR THIS

username2 oh my god, i can't believe we finally to have a little baby for lando and y/n

↪username3 for real 😭 it feels like it was just yesterday since we were hoping they would eventually get together

username4 he's going to be the prettiest dad

username5 Lando's already a simp for Y/N, now pregnant Y/N will be his muse

↪username6 YES! ❤ this boy will worship her like she deserves it

yourusername

yourusername Unfortunately, I cannot fit into my old clothes anymore, so I guess there's no more hidding this big monster I've been growing in my belly

tagged: landonorris

landonorris THE PRETTIEST BABY MOMMA

landonorris Look at my girllll ooof 🥵

↪yourusername I love you, muppet

username1 THEY REALLY ARE EXPECTING A BABY 😭

↪username2 we got a double daddy lando in a year, this is so cute 🥺 ↪username3 I'm so proud to see how far they've come

maxfewtrell This is the best news! Can't wait to meet my goddaughter

↪username4 MAX IS GOING TO BE THE GODFATHER 😭 ↪username5 a cicle is complete ❤ i'm super proud

lilyzneimer Congratulations, you beautiful! I can't wait to see one more mini you around the garage

↪yourusername Love you, Lils ❤

oscarpiastri Oh God, they are reproducing. Lord have mercy... Congrats, btw!

↪landonorris i'll be training my kid to terrorize your life ↪yourusername boys...

flonorris1 Auntie loves her baby bunny already ❤ love you all

↪landonorris Love you sissy ❤

zakbrown Future McLaren driver in the oven 🧡 Congratulations to you both!

carlossainz55 Can I already start my campain as favourite uncle?

charles_leclerc The cutest! Congratulations, you guys!

alex_albon Sending you lots of love from me and Lily ❤

yourmother One more for the batch ❤ I love you

↪yourusername I love you, mommy ❤

maxverstappen1 I knew you were hidding something! Congrats, anyway ❤

lewishamilton Congratulations to your beautiful family ❤ It will be lovely to see another tiny Y/N around the paddock

georgerussel63 Carmen and I are literally screaming out of cuteness ❤ Congratulations!

landonorris

landonorris Welcome to the world, Emma Norris

tagged: yourusername

yourusername My heart ❤

username1 She looks so much like Lando!!!

↪username2 the spitting image!

↪username3 Olivia is just like Y/N and Emma is just like Lando

username4 We already have a picture of Lan sleeping with baby Em ❤

↪username5 He truly blessed us this time

yourmother She's beautiful! Congratulations, my loves ❤

↪landonorris We love you, Mrs L/N

oscaspiastri The cutest ❤ sending love to you both

carlossainz55 She has your nose, cabrón. Can't wait to meet her

maxfewtrell Look at my beautiful goddaughter ❤ I love you, brother

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

[pha55ed]

Everything I Know Abt Love || JMM21

type :: fluff tw/cw :: dumbass painfully oblivious!reader (their so me-coded) summary :: reader has been crushing on pepe since they were children, but is trying to get over their crush with a different driver. but that's impossible because it's fucking josep maria marti.

request :: can you write smth with pepe marti :D was thinkin something along the lines of the song “everything i know about love” by laufey. heavy mutual pining with an eventual confession and pure fluff <3 ur page is so nice and ur writing is so so so good 🫶 (AHH thank you so much! <3 you're so sweet!)

f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist || more here!

liked by jakcrawford, christianmansell, sebastianmontoya, and 82,000 others

yourusername : Alexa, play So American by Olivia Rodrigo

yourbestfriend : YOU GOT ICECREAM WITHOUT ME???

yourbestfriend : wait a minute... 🤨

yourbestfriend : IS THAT A MAN....???

yourbestfriend : IS THAT P...?

yourbestfriend : Noooo girl i need to update you so bad

jakcrawford : Your flavor looks like charcoal dust LMAO

yourusername : it looked purple under the store's lighting 😭😭

christianmansell : where's my thank you???

sebastianmontoya : what... 😀

pepemarti : same... 😀 sebastianmontoya : im coming over christianmansell : wait why??? sebastianmontoya : YOU CAUSED THIS YOU IDIOT

The date with Jak was sweet, almost perfect. He picked you up and called you beautiful, gifting you flowers. The entire time he was respectful, listening to you, and making you laugh. He was cute too, curly brown hair and an adorable smile. Everything should led to you liking him. Yet you couldn't.

The entire time you were still stuck on Pepe. Thinking about how Pepe would have gotten you flowers, but in your favorite color. How Pepe's hair was much softer despite being shorter. Not to mention that Pepe's smile is your favorite thing ever. It's not Jak's fault, he was lovely in every way possible. But you just couldn't imagine loving anyone else beside Pepe.

You grew up with Pepe, meeting at 11 year olds from watching your brother in karting. The rest is history. You met his friends and quickly formed a quad, with Pepe, you, Sebastian, and Christian. Throughout your entire childhood, you had a fat crush on him. But you could never tell if he liked you back or not.

But to Chris and Sebastian, it was painful to watch you both. They could tell that you both liked each other, maybe even loved each other. But you both were so awkward with each other that it seemed like you were friend-zoning each other.

Like for example, Chris and Sebastian tried to set you up both up by making a fake hangout. They planned a whole day of going to the beach and eating dinner, only for them both to get "sick" last minute. So it was just you and Pepe alone for the whole day, going to the beach and a fancy dinner.

Yet you guys still managed to turn one of the most romantic scenes into the most goofy and awkward. Collecting seashells, seeing who can hold their breathe longer underwater, and making a mess at dinner like you two were just clumsy and awkward best friends. When in reality, both of you were on the verge of a heart attack every time you accidentally touched.

So now you were stuck, alone in your room. Torn between either moving on or sticking with Pepe.

You barely had any time to think to yourself, because the very next day you were forced to attend the boys' Racing Sponsor party. Although you never liked going, it was fun with your friends and the food was always amazing. The only major cons was that the party was filled with business people trying to network and get new sponsors, but they usually left you alone once you just said you were a friend of the drivers.

So now instead of being alone in your room, with your thoughts eating away at your brain - you were alone at the large dining table. Seb promised to stay by your side, but he was pulled away by his engineers to try and talk to a fancy gasoline company so they could sponsor him. Chris also promised to stay besides you, but he was also forced away to go to a special engineering company. Pepe and Jak were also busy doing a ton of interviews and connections, they were very sought after.

You sighed, unable to help but just sit in your boredom as you picked at your food. Now you were wishing that those annoying business men would try to talk to you again just so you have something to do. Using your phone wasn't an option either, 1. because it's rude to do and 2. because your dress didn't have pockets so you stupidly gave it to Seb to hold onto.

But just as you were about to count the petals dead floral centerpiece in front of you, Jak sat next to you. Fuck, you thought.

"Hey!" He said, wearing a black tux just like everyone else in the room. "You look so bored haha"

His small chuckle was charming and cute, he was so "boy-next-door" coded. Jak's curls were a bit more defined and his suit had almost no imperfections on it. He obviously paid deep attention to his suit. You watched as he started to fiddle with his tie slightly as he sat next to you. It was clear he was a bit nervous around you, trying to put up a good first impression still.

"I can't lie, I am a bit bored." You say with a smile at his attentive nature. "I'm just waiting for it to be over so we can all go out and play games at Chris's house."

"We?" He asks, quoting you before connecting the dots as to who 'we' was. "Oh! You, Pepe, Chris, and Seb, right?" Jak tilts his head slightly, like a dog.

You simply nod, taking a mental note of how much of Jak resembles a golden doodle. One of the cute golden doodles, not the ones' with ugly human eyes. You wanted so badly to like him. It wasn't like you weren't aware of how cute and sweet he was. Yet your brain just wouldn't allow yourself to feel a spark between you two.

"Well uh, would it be okay if I joined?" Jak asked nervously, looking in your eyes.

Before you could answer, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Although you hated how embarrassing it was to admit, you could already tell who was touching you just by the fingertips and vein on the back of the hand: Pepe Marti.

"NnnnooOOO!" Pepe said, making you want to laugh but you knew it would hurt Jak's feelings. It was clear he had quite a few drinks, most likely due to the businessmen always pressuring the drivers to have a few shots. Mainly so they could take advantage of their drunken state and get them to sign any deal they wanted.

"Oh uh..." Jak sat their awkwardly, looking at how close Pepe's body was to yours despite him hovering above your chair. "Hi Pepe,,,"

"Hi JAK!!!" Pepe said, quite loudly, "Or should I say JAK - ASS!!! Hahaha,,, ha..."

Pepe's entire fucking head and neck turned to you, trying to see if you laughed at his awful joke. When he sees that you didn't laugh, his smile instantly died. You could tell that he was cringing at himself.

You knew you needed to get Pepe out of the room, before he does anything stupid. So you quietly excused yourself from Jak, apologizing for Pepe's lame joke. Although Pepe was perfectly able to walk over to you and Jak, all of the sudden he began to act as if he's never walked in his life. So he clung onto your waist, using that as support while you both exited the party.

It didn't make much sense for him to hold your waist for support. Holding onto your shoulders or even your head would make much more sense - but he insisted on holding your waist. But you weren't going to complain when he hand perfectly fitted there. And you definitely weren't going to complain when he was pulling you closer to his body on instinct, as if he was a magnet attracted to you.

You struggled to get his tall body into your small car. But you did it. Now you had to struggle with getting the buckle on him. Not that he's fat, far from it, he's quite lanky and lean. The struggle came from the fact that Pepe was insisting that he should drive. That the man should always drive the woman home. He even drunkenly giggled and said, "If I driveee, then we couldd kiss at red lightssss!"

He said that while looking up at you with a shit eating grin. As if he was trying to see if you would blush at his joke, which you did. And as if his cute giggle and smile weren't enough, he did a stupid little fist bump in the air after making you giggle, as if it was an accomplishment. He has never ever been this flirty with you, making you unsure of how to handle him.

You can't help but laugh even more at his stupid acts. And from your laughter, Pepe finally sat still for once. He was stuck in his seat, staring at you, completely star struck. His big dark eyes starring up at you while you giggled, he looked as if he's seen the Northern lights. His lips were slightly parted, mainly because he was tired from fighting you away from buckling him, but also because his breathe was genuinely taken away from his lungs.

And that's when you felt something click in you.

At that exact moment, when Pepe was looking up at you with big puppy eyes and kissable kips - you realized that you would never ever be able to replace Pepe. You would never be able to settle and date Jak just to move on from Pepe. Because in one single moment of Pepe barely saying anything, he made you feel more cherished than Jak did within your entire day. Because in one single moment of Pepe's eyes staring in yours, you felt your heart pound faster than it ever did when Jak gently held your hand at night.

You knew you needed to tell Jak soon. Although you knew that you and Pepe weren't an item yet, you were determined to get him to be yours. And for the first time within almost a decade - you felt as if you had a chance with him.

As you dragged Pepe behind you, you safely managed to get him up the stairs and into his apartment. It was a cozy place, with tan and beige furniture decorating the place. There were photos hung up of his friends and family, shelves filled with comic books and gifts from fans. It felt warm, homey despite it not being your home.

Due to Pepe's strong grip on you, as if he was glued to you, you were forced to throw him roughly onto his couch. You sighed out of relief from finally getting him to settle down. You were beat, ready to go sleep asap. Meanwhile Pepe was the exact opposite. He was still giggling and giddy despite there being nothing funny happening.

His smile was permanently on his face, but you weren't complaining. As you slumped down next to him, you could still smell the alcohol in his breathe. He lazily threw his hand on your thigh, looking at you before saying "You're so farrr".

The lazy grip he had on your thigh quickly turned into an overpowering grip, as he easily pulled you all the way close to him. Even though he got what he wanted, you being right beside him, his hand didn't leave your thigh. You were left in shock, never ever seeing this side of him. He's been drunk around you before, but never this drunk. You're lost on why he felt the need to get so drunk today, especially when he knew being drunk was a huge no-no at sponsor parties.

When Pepe saw your eyes widen, he instantly copied your expression. His hand left your thigh in a flash and he scooted away from you by a foot. "I'm sorry, did you not like that???" He asked, his words not slurring as much.

"No no, it's okay." You said as you looked at him, his shoulders relaxing at your words. You wish you could say the same, your shoulders were killing you now from having to bring Pepe up a whole flight of stairs.

Rolling your shoulders didn't help the ache, making you slightly wince at the soreness. Pepe, despite still being drunk, could tell it was because of him. He looked guilty, scooting a bit closer to you.

"I'm sorry," He said softly, the most gentle you've heard him all night. "I shou' have gone home on my own."

You shook your head, "Definitelyyy not, you would have crashed your car into a family of five or something."

"Better than hurting you," He said almost in a whisper. You watched his face scrunch up. He let out a light burp and threw his head back onto the couch. "God I feel awful already."

On instinct, you were about to get off the couch and get him some pain medication. But Pepe's arm shot out, blocking you from getting up.

"Not physically." He says, "But,,, mentally."

You tilt your head slightly, confused at what he meant. He looked into your eyes, able to tell that you had zero clue at all what he meant. A sigh left his lips, as if he was tired despite him being the one that got dragged up a flight of stairs and a ride home.

"I'm sure you'll feel awful physically soon." You say, "But why do you feel hurt, mentally?"

"I just," Pepe's voice was stuck, unsure of how to word himself. He let out a few murmurs but it wasn't actual words. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol making him unable to speak or if Pepe just didn't know how to word what he was thinking. You were assume it was both.

He knew he wouldn't be able to outright state what he was feeling, so instead he opted for questions. "(Y/N), be honest with me." You nodded, shifting in your seat to face him. His tone sounded serious. "How do you feel about Jak?"

You assume he must have felt awful mentally for his rude jokes to Jak. "Oh, Jak is cool. If you're worried about your joke to him, I'm sure he'll just brush it off."

"Are you close now?" Pepe asks, completely ignoring your answer to his question. "After that date you guys had, seemed like fun." He says, his eyes not looking at yours. As if he was too scared to make eye contact with you.

"Um, it was fun. But I mean, I didn't feel a spark or anything-"

"Don't lie."

You were frozen, unsure of what to say. "I'm not lying...?"

"I see how you laugh at his jokes, how he looks at you, how you smile at him." Pepe says slowly, "Do you think you like him?"

His tone was so serious that you were caught off guard. But you knew the answer to his question now, thankfully you realized it this night. "No, I think we're just gonna be friends. He seems super sweet and nice, but not for me-"

"Then who is for you?" Pepe asks, this time looking at you. There was no smile on his face, instead a look of investigation. A look that seemed as if he was trying to put a mask on, to protect his feelings from getting hurt.

You knew the answer to this question to. But you weren't able to say. All you were able to do was stare into Pepe's eyes, watching them soften as he looked at you. You swallowed and broke the eye contact, feeling too intimate to keep staring into his dark eyes.

While you were looking away, Pepe scooted back close to you. Your knees touching. Although your head was still turned away, too flustered to look at him and unwilling to give him an answer. Pepe was staring right at you, his entire torso turned towards you to examine your whole body and features.

You didn't want to turn your head around and face him. You could tell that if you did, your faces would be only a few inches away from each other. Close enough to make your breathes touch each other faces. Although you were trying to look away from him, his hand gently reached for your face. There was no pressure in his grip, instead it was lightly guiding your head to face him.

Now your faces were close, eyes locked in, and bodies only a few inches apart. You looked at him, holding your breathe in fear that it stank from eating. His eyes and face were no longer tense, it was soft and looked as if he was pleaded. It looked as if he about to beg you for something, which he did:

"Please, please say it's me." He said in a whisper.

f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist || more here!

[rangerofpelor]

🏨❀☆ for francis cuz i lov him

*squints* marty is that u?

🏨  : How well does your muse sleep?

he used to sleep just fine, but for the past few months (since he finished his undergrad project) he’s been suffering from bouts of insomnia due to the droning in his head being louder at night. he’s gone to see doctors about it, but they were never able to find anything so he’s just like “well....guess this is my life now...might as well use this new free time productively” 

❀ : What is your muse’s opinion about flower crowns?

answered this one for him here. 

☆ : Of the sun, stars, and the moon, which is your muse’s favorite?

the stars. i mean he likes all of the celestial bodies because like...he’s an astronomer, but he’d say the stars are definitely where his interests lie. their gravitational pulls, their composition, the way that they just don’t make sense sometimes....he loves it and he loves trying to solve their puzzles.

[flashyfucker]

idk how i’m supposed to function today bc i had a dream where i was friends with anders lee and was always around the team and went to little team hangouts and bbqs and big events and whatever. and since everyone knew that anders and i were friends, they constantly teased mat bc he had a huge crush on lil ol’ innocent me. and marty would tease him endlessly esp when mat would try to keep me company when i was waiting for anders who was the last to leave after a game. but that was bc marty knew that i was also secretly anders’ lil play thing and was a total slut for him and marty knew this bc one time he forgot something and went back to the locker room and found me on my knees, tears streaming down my face, choking on anders’ cock

and i’m just supposed to go about my monday??? like a normal person?

hi anon thank ur subconscious for me cause all ive been thinking abt for 24 hours is being not like .. fwb with anders as such, but being like super close best friends who also look after one another sexually which is different than like fwb/booty call situations to me for some reason (the reason is low key mutual pining disguised as platonic love, actually)

there is SO so so so much i could talk abt w this dynamic but riffing on ur dream (thank you again @ anon's subconscious xxx ily) he's called you down to the locker room when you're meant to be picking him up after optional skate, cause the boys are clearing out but he got off the ice late and doesn't wanna keep you waiting. and he's fresh out of the shower and the room's empty and there're no staff left around, so you find yourself sinking to your knees before where he's lax and half-dressed in his stall.

(all because you'd mentioned lunch, and he'd asked "you hungry?" with this inflection he hadn't even intended, but then you're nodding, suddenly silent, and he's asking "do you need it?": this one little question the hinge of this entire thing you both do. you don't fuck unless it's necessary, whatever that means.)

it’s barely a minute of you messily mouthing at him before he’s hot and hard and leaking, straining not to buck his hips up towards your gentle mouth for a couple minutes before he’s bored of the niceties and gathering a fistful of your hair to fuck your face on his cock.

at marty’s entrance, his flustered exclamation of “holy shit,” from the doorway, you’re scrambling to pull off, hide your face in anders’ thigh while anders reaches for a towel to protect your modesty somehow, telling marty to fuck off, as though marty hadn’t seen it in screaming detail before either of you had noticed his presence. like marty hadn’t noted the pull of your swollen lips around anders’ thick cock, the spread of gloss: spit and tears and precum smeared over your cheeks, committed it all to memory in his stunned moments before his big mouth had interrupted you.

and marty laughs, equal parts shocked and embarrassed and a little turned on, maybe, but you’re frozen, burning all over and still on your knees for the two seconds it takes him to grab whatever he’d left behind, then bid you and anders “have fun,” before slamming the door after him. 

and anders tries to apologise, for some reason: the gentle, captainly kindness he carries always prevailing, even when your face is streaked with precum, but he’s still rock hard and you’re unwittingly turned on by being caught, so you’re back on him and he’s making a mess of you, now, running his mouth with questions of “you liked being caught acting like a slut, huh? caught getting all messy for me?” laced between truths like “marty thought you were so fucking good. really believed you were this innocent little thing. that whole team does. they have no clue.”

[iwaasfairy]

HEY BAE I LUV UR WRITING UR IWA FIC DKWKFKEKF WUUDUUWF WUFKEKSK also i was wondering if u hav reqs for dark content creators on here

thank you baby! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

i follow a ton of talented dark content writers who i’d recommend. this became so long and i most definitely forgot people so i’m sorry in advance but i just... there’s so many amazing writers on this site i swear

@shoyokuns : mous is the source of most of my degenerate thoughts, very sexy blog indeed @kouteru : belle, angel baby, has stacks upon stacks of big brain content @aoyukai : casual writer but her brain is so big so follow @nectarous : bee writes some hottt stuff (where tf is the anal representation >:( very sad) @kiyokens : give more kenma content NOW vivi, ily tho @ukeis : irina (a snuff queen for me, but everything is amazing) @rintarhoes : violet i think this is still your main dark blog for now? but yes fantastic writing, dark or not @yanderexbabydoll : i think you’ve all seen me rave about rhi since the start of this blog but BY EVERYTHING THAT’S HOLY she’s such a fucking good writer i want to be her when im big @tetsou : honey’s content is so fuckkkinnn sexy (i think of the hajime nii angst on the daily) @bakatenshii : angel is so sweet and am AMAZING writer, i miss you i hope you’re well @undermattsun : miss tw toxic, want miki to step on me pls (i’m such a fangirl it’s almost embarrassing) @sugawara-sweetheart : neems has written a ton of amazing stuff, but the dark content lately? godly (mattsun daddy ; ^; and creepy teru nii) @rocorambles : roco and i have many of the same kinks and her works are amazing, brain still rings with gangbang tingz, she also encourages my bad behaviour so :)) @vermiliren : if you don’t follow ren’s both blogs already what are you even doing @suguru-slut : lune’s new dark bloggie (already know it’ll have good content) obviously @seita : the smut hall of fame, @bokutobabie : syd writes some lovely things that make my heart warm but also has the kinks on point @kittenkaashi : laura writes so well and has the biggest, smoothest brain (also her main is fantastic too) @gaos : marty’s dark blog is still pretty new but marty’s a great writer @b0ba-chan : has both dark and more soft nsfw, im a big fan @closetdegen : ezra my love, i hope you’re doing well, very amazing writer @dearsakusa : boys in skirts supremacy ꒰˘̩̩̩⌣˘̩̩̩๑꒱♡ dee is great @nashiexo : fucking amazing content once again, my bde rolemodel @lovingsuna & @angelkaashi : clare’s two bloggies bc everything she does makes me :hearteyes: @atsuuji : cloud’s new blog! go follow if you haven’t yet (her old blog also has fucking amazing content)

and these aren’t purely dark content but also write amazing nsfw so check them out and see if you vibe bc they are great. @kyovtani I love zade so much pls @honey-makki kristen also has dc! @datech diana so cute, sob @aiiishiiiteru makes my meian dreams come true @introloves jax is a fantastic writer and really really sweet but I’m too chicken to tag (edit:I was bullied into tagging >:|) @satendou : spencer is another amazing writer who i want to be like when i grow up @sugardaddykenma lin’s the sexiest shitposter on the platform pass it on @lookslikeleese weese has both dark and nsfw (eyes still on the mattsun angst, it was so fuckihdgz good) and last but definitely not least my long time homies who i adore @kinsurou converted to a hq blog ehehe v sexy @xplosiveboy (if they ever decide to fucking post <33 love you baby) and @wakaoujisenhime viki has that kiri smut for days ++late addition but very important: @sawamooora and @koiibito (lets pretend I’m not a fucking idiot and forgot |:)

And also @onefortyninecm just for the art. Do it. Dickasso of the hq fandom + Dabi

ye i do freak out over half the fandom what about it

[knowltonsrangers]

Hey there! Just wanted to stop by and say I love your blog! I just recently got into turn and you’re one of the few blogs left that still talks about it! Love your writing and I hope you are having a fabulous day and stay safe with this whole coronavirus thing going on❤️❤️❤️

hi hello!!! this is the sweetest thank u so much!!! thank u for all your support! I’m so glad we got another TURN fan!!! LMK who is ur favorite character/person!! ❤️ Just for you, here’s some headcanons 😘 I hope all is well with you too! Stay safe & healthy my friend! ❤️❤️

TURN! x Movie Preferences

Caleb Brewster

• sci-fi. But also action. I pick Star Wars !

• I can just totally picture him loving Star Wars (me too Caleb, me too)

• definitely would drag u to the couch and have a marathon.

• loves to find the easter eggs !

• he acts as if it’s the first time ‘round he’s watched them, ,,

• literally on the edge of his seat every time, as if he hasn’t seen every movie 49 times.

• you have to (or will end up) love/loving Star Wars

• just by being around Caleb so much :)

• always a fun night when it’s Star Wars time!

Benjamin Tallmadge

• this headcanon has already made an appearance on my page before but !

• I HC Ben’s favorite movie to be Ghostbusters

• (or Little Shop of Horrors)

• i just can picture him loving the tech in Ghostbusters.

• I also can see Benny liking super-hero movies, bc Antman is funny as hell

• a Friday night, snugglin’ with tall-boy and the friggin ghostbusters

• he doesn’t like the sequel as much, but still watches it immediately after watching the first one.

• would love to own a car like the Ecto-1

• peak comedy, in his opinion ;)

Robert Townsend

• definitely a non-fiction type of guy

• I can see him throughly enjoying documentaries!

• although, I’d have to say his favorite movie would probably be The Great Gatsby

• I can’t (don’t know?) say why.

• I could just picture him enjoying the twists and turns of the movie.

• he wouldn’t watch it religiously, but definitely if asked, that would be his answer.

• Robbie has an appreciation for it!

George Washington

• Catch Me if You Can!!!!

• ok for some reason Ian Kahn is just. the perfect GW to me

• and when i see him, I see him as the Ian Kahn that is in the series Bull too!

• so combining the personality from GW, and Marty (his character on Bull)

• I think he would really enjoy Catch me if You Can!

• just someone being so intelligent, so elusive..

• really nabs his attention

• he won’t talk to you for the duration of the movie, but will talk your ear off once it’s over!

• points out things he didn’t notice the first time around watching it , excited the whole time.

Marquis de Lafayette

• I am tempted to say some rom-com or drama , but I just don’t see him likin those kinda movies

• definitely do HC him as liking old Wild West movies!!!

• I see him loving Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid!

• the old-school tales of guns, robberies, and train heists.

• keeps him in suspense !

• that’s what he enjoys and hopes to get out of a movie !

• also headcanon him as a snuggler during the movies :D

• yeehaw!

Ensign (Thomas) Baker

• they scare him but

• horror. Movies.

• I think he would love halloween!

• (the movie, and the holiday !)

• his favorite horror movie, (and mine) I would say is the original My Bloody Valentine!

• not too gory, not too scary, and absolutely full of twists and turns!

• ending is his favorite, but I won’t spoil :)

• 11/10 snuggler

• his long arms round you!! like omg

• heart? Melted

• is also down to marathon with you, if you like that kinda genre!

• House of Wax, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Nightmare on Elm Street, & Scream to name a few!

• definitely prefers the originals to the remakes

• babey

[thinkingaboutyoungroyals]

Who Waits For Love (Chapter 3)

Summary: T.J. Kippen lost his chance to tell Cyrus Goodman how he felt when they were in the 8th grade. Now, they are in their junior year of high school and Cyrus is on his 3rd relationship. Is it time to give up… or continue to wait for love?

A/N: This is so much longer than I thought it was going to be. A lot going on here!

When T.J. pulled up to the Goodman home that morning, the porch steps were empty. Furrowing his brows in confusion, he decided to give it another minute or so. Cyrus was rarely late in the mornings but then again, after everything that happened the day before, T.J. couldn’t blame him if he was a little delayed.

When five minutes passed and the door never opened, T.J. grabbed the bag of chocolate-chocolate chip muffins from the compartment beside him and exited his car. He walked up to the front door and rang the bell.

Cyrus’ mother opened the door. “Oh, good morning, T.J.,” she greeted with a kind smile. “I’m sorry but Cyrus isn’t feeling well enough to go to school today.”

The way she flashed him a knowing look after saying that made T.J. realize that she was aware of what happened.

“He told you?” he asked, hesitantly.

Sighing, she nodded. “Thank you for taking care of him yesterday.”

“Yeah, of course. He’s my best friend.” He looked down at the muffins in his hand before handing them over to her. “Can you give him these? My mom made them last night.”

Dr. Goodman nodded, taking the bag. “Of course. I’ll let him know you stopped by when he wakes up. He went back to sleep.”

“Thank you.”

He gave her a polite nod before turning on his heels to get back to his car.

For the first time since he got his license, he was driving to school alone. The absence of enthusiastic chatter made the silence all the more glaring so he turned up the stereo.

It felt a little strange arriving at school alone and just following the crowd. He had gotten used to Cyrus being next to him. Alone, he went to his locker to grab the things he needed for the day.

“Kippen.”

T.J. froze upon hearing the voice he knew and despised so much. 

Scowling, he turned around to see the brunette Lacrosse player who broke his best friend’s heart standing there. T.J. felt a smidge of satisfaction at seeing a bruise marring the corner of the guy’s lips and a little regret that he didn’t do more than just one punch.

“You got some nerve showing your face to me after what you did,” he spat, making sure to lace his words with poison.

Lance’s confidence faltered before he schooled his features to that of the cocky bastard he was.

“Whatever. Where’s Cyrus? I need to talk to him.”

At that, T.J. barked out a sarcastic laugh. “And you think I’d let him talk to you?”

“Pfft, you’re not his boyfriend, Kippen.”

Low blow, but he didn’t let it bother him.

“Neither are you. At least at the end of the day, I’m still his best friend.” He chuckled without humor. “You think after what you pulled, Cyrus would want to get back with you? You’re over, remember? He said so.”

“I can get him back if I want to,” Lance replied, cockily.

T.J. raised a brow. “Really? You think he’d take you back? A little overconfident there, aren’t we, buddy?”

Lance’s gaze flared. “Look, here, Kippen-.”

“No, you look here, Parker.” Squaring his shoulders and standing tall and intimidating, T.J. took a step forward. “This is what’s going to happen. You’re going to stay away from Cyrus. Don’t look at him. Don’t talk to him. Don’t even think about him. Or so help me, I’m going to make sure you’ll never play another game of Lacrosse again. A shame to miss out on those college scouts, right?”

It was an empty threat. T.J. would never actually hurt him (much). But, his old reputation as a middle school bad boy still preceded him. Not to mention, his height allowed him to tower over the Lacrosse player. 

Lance seemed to have lost all his confidence and swagger from earlier. He knew that T.J. had the physical capabilities to render him unable to play another game. He had proven it the day before.

He scoffed. “Fine. Whatever. Keep him, then.” He looked T.J. up and down, wrinkling his nose. “He was boring, anyway.”

T.J. made to lunge at him in anger, school rules be damned.

“Whoa there, Kippen.”

A hand landed on his shoulder and forcibly pulled him back. He turned his head to see Marty, flashing him a warning look. When T.J. turned back to Lance, the bastard was already walking away.

T.J. shrugged Marty’s hand off. “You shouldn’t have stopped me,” he said, heading back to his locker.

“If I didn’t and you got in trouble for beating him up and Cyrus found out, you know you’d regret it,” Marty replied, harshly.

He was right. Unfortunately.

T.J. just huffed, choosing not to respond. After getting heated from that encounter, he needed to clear his head.

Marty leaned against the locker next to T.J.’s. “How’s Cyrus?” he asked, more gently.

T.J. sighed, shutting his locker and swung his backpack over his shoulder. “Not good. He’s not in today. His mom told me he went back to sleep.”

“He’s really broken up about this, huh?” Marty stated as they began to walk together.

“He got cheated on Marty, of course, he is!”

Marty raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry, I just… they didn’t seem serious. At least, Lance didn’t seem to be.”

“When Cyrus likes someone, he gives it his all. No matter what his relationship with Lance was like, I know he gave it his all. That’s why this is breaking him. That… that bastard doesn’t deserve him.”

“Yeah, I agree.”

They walked in silence for a moment, T.J.’s fury slowly being replaced by worry for Cyrus again. He wondered if he should text him just to check in.

“How are you doing, though?” Marty asked.

“Me? I’m fine. It’s Cyrus who’s hurt, Marty.”

“Yeah… but when Cyrus cries, you’re unfocused until he feels better.”

It was true. He hated whenever Cyrus cried. He wanted to cheer him up until he smiled again. For all of Cyrus’ past breakups, he was there as a shoulder to cry on. But, this time, he knew it would take more than just muffins and a High School Musical marathon to take away the pain.

He sighed. “I don’t know, man. I just… I can’t get his face out of my head. How hurt he was and all I want is to just…”

“Kiss his tears away?” Marty teased.

T.J. glared at him but didn’t deny it because, yes, that was exactly what he wanted to do. All the time.

“All I can do right now is just be there for him, like I always am,” he replied.

“At least now you have a chance with him,” Marty tried to help.

“I… wasn’t even thinking about that. You know, too busy being worried about my best friend while trying to not destroy his asshole of an ex.” They finally reached his homeroom. “Anyway, I’ll text him to ask how he is before the bell rings. I’ll see you, guys, at lunch.”

Marty nodded. “See ya.”

T.J. found his seat and sat down before taking his phone out to text.

Underdog Cyrus: Hey. Just checking in if ur OK. I gave ur mom muffins. Let me know if u want to talk. I’ll come right over. Luv u, underdog.

He felt his lips twitch at the last line. He wasn’t shy about telling Cyrus he loved him, anymore. He just wished he had the guts to tell him how deep that love really went. But, as long as Cyrus was okay, he would do everything in his power to make him happy again.

…….......

Time seemed to drag on the entire day. T.J. had History with Cyrus and he normally enjoyed the class. But, that day, his friend’s absence was felt even more as he didn’t have a seat partner to do the day’s class activity with.

Lunch couldn’t have arrived sooner and when it finally did, he bought his food and made his way to his usual table with the Andi, Buffy, Jonah, and Marty. (Some days, he would sit with the basketball team for socialization purposes, but that day was not one of those days.)

They were already seated and digging into their food when he arrived. Andi, Buffy, and Marty were seated on one side so he slid into the seat next to Jonah across from them. He sadly stared at Cyrus’ empty spot next to him and sighed.

“Did you hear from Cyrus?” Andi asked him.

He nodded. “He texted me around third period. He said he was feeling better but he’ll probably skip school for the rest of the week. Good thing it’s Thursday.” He stirred his bowl of chili. “I brought him muffins this morning. I hope it helps.”

“We should try to see him after school,” said Buffy.

“That’s a good idea, we can bring his homework,” added Jonah.

T.J. groaned in disappointment. “I have basketball practice today.”

Jonah nudged his arm with his elbow and grinned. “Don’t worry, we’ll tell him you miss him.”

T.J. blushed but before he could respond, Andi let out an excited squeal. She was looking at her phone and Buffy leaned over to look.

She snorted. “It’s just Amber,” she said, exaggeratedly rolling her eyes but she was smiling.

“She said she did really well on her Sociology test!” Andi squealed as she enthusiastically texted back. Finishing, she put her phone down and sighed, forlornly. “I miss her.”

Andi and Amber were a surprise to everyone. Last year, Andi realized that she might also like girls… and by girls, she meant one specific girl: Amber. And, apparently, Amber always knew she liked girls and tried to date boys to get rid of those feelings...until she met Andi, that is. They started dating last year and were currently in a long-distance relationship, since Amber was away in California for college. But, they seemed to be holding on pretty well.

T.J. always wondered how Jonah felt about both his exes dating, but he still hung out with both girls whenever he could so he probably got over it.

As they all dug into their lunch, T.J. took a moment to observe everyone around him. At first, he only really hung out with them because of Cyrus. After Reed and Lester pretty much abandoned him back in the 8th grade, he didn’t really have any other real friends.

He wondered...Would he have found another group of friends? Ones who actually liked and supported him?

It took him a long time to gain this group’s trust. And, now, even without Cyrus there, he no longer felt shy and out of place when Andi handed him her box of fries to share or when Buffy stole a piece of grape from his fruit cup.

“What are you smiling about?” Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

T.J. realized that he was, chuckled, and shook his head. “Nothing. Now, can you please stop stealing my fruit and start getting your own?”

“Nah, it’s not as fun.” And to demonstrate, she reached over and stole a pineapple.

Yep, these were his friends now. 

He couldn’t help but stare at Cyrus’ empty place again.

He really hoped he was okay.

…….......

Thursday ended and Friday passed. Before he knew it, the weekend had arrived. T.J. went to work Saturday morning and by the time he got off in the afternoon, he still didn’t feel like going home. His mom was working until very late, anyway, so he had the day to himself. So, he drove to Cyrus’ house.

He parked across the street from the driveway and made his way to the backyard. Finding Cyrus’ window, he stood under it as he took out his phone and called him.

It took three rings for Cyrus to answer.

“Hello?” His voice was a little raspy.

“Hey,” T.J. greeted. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you. I didn’t cry today.”

T.J. smiled at that.

“Sorry about yesterday,” Cyrus continued.

T.J. had tried to see him after school the day before but Cyrus had shooed him away, saying that he didn’t want to see anyone. T.J. was a little hurt by that but he knew that his friend was going through something that he couldn’t dare to imagine or understand.

“It’s okay, I get it,” he replied. “Are you okay enough to hang out with me today?”

Cyrus chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Great! Then, come out.”

There was a pause.

“What?”

T.J. smiled to himself as he looked up at the closed window. “I’m outside your window. Come out for a drive. We can go anywhere you want.”

He heard shuffling and kept his eye on the window until it slid up. Cyrus poked his head out and found him fairly quickly.

T.J. waved. “Hey.”

Looking confused yet elated to see him, Cyrus replied, “Hey. Why didn’t you just go through the front door?”

T.J. shrugged. “This is more fun.”

His friend did look better, though his eyes still looked droopy and a bit swollen, probably from all the crying. His hair was a messy mop, like he just got out of bed and didn’t have time to brush it.

“And cheesy. What are you? Romeo?”

He was happy to hear that Cyrus was feeling well enough to joke.

“If I’m Romeo then you’re my Juliet,” T.J. couldn’t resist flirting.

To his delight, Cyrus blushed and lowered his head, shyly.

“So… you wanna drive or what?” T.J. asked.

Up on his window, Cyrus nodded. “Okay. I’ll be down in 10 minutes. Just gotta get changed. Come through the front door, you savage! Mom’s home.”

“Okay, see ya.”

Cyrus waved before shutting his window and hanging up. Meanwhile, T.J. bounded back to the front door, a skip in his steps.

Dr. Goodman let him in with a smile, asking how he was and if he would like something to drink. She settled on an armchair in the living room while T.J. plopped himself on the sofa, making small talk.

There was a moment of brief silence where they could hear Cyrus pottering about upstairs as he got ready.

“Is he really okay?” T.J. had to ask.

Dr. Goodman leaned back in her seat. “Well, it’s the first time in days where he’s willing to leave the house. On Thursday, he just slept all day and only came out of his room when Andi and the others stopped by to drop off his homework. Yesterday, he didn’t leave his room at all and was listening to sad music on full volume. I would have reprimanded him but… well… I think he needed to let his emotions out, one way or another. So… I think he could use a distraction today.”

“I’m hoping to do just that. We’ve been worried.”

Footsteps coming down the stairs silenced them. T.J. turned his head towards it to see Cyrus neatly dressed and his hair now brushed.

He flashed T.J. a faint smile. “Hey,” he greeted.

T.J. stood up. “Hey, ready to go?”

Cyrus nodded.

They bid Dr. Goodman goodbye, promising to be back by dinner, and Cyrus followed him out to his car.

“So, where do you wanna go?” T.J. asked as soon as the doors were closed.

Cyrus shrugged.

“Park?” T.J. suggested. “We can go on the swings.”

“Sure.”

T.J. reached over and ruffled his hair, fondly, before starting the car and driving.

Cyrus was silent during the ride, only staring out the window.

“So, you wanna hear something funny that happened in history class yesterday?” T.J. casually said.

“Sure.”

“So we were watching a documentary on the Great Depression…”

Cyrus hummed to indicate that he was listening.

“… and Mrs. Shapiro fell asleep!”

T.J. flashed him a quick look from the corner of his eye and was pleased to see Cyrus breaking into a small smile and chuckling.

“Of course, she did. She finds her own class boring!”

The mood after that turned lighter, even if Cyrus barely spoke.

They arrived at the park and headed right for the playground where, thankfully, their swings were empty and devoid of children. Cyrus immediately went for his swing, sitting on it, and kicking his legs, silently.

T.J. settled on the one next to him, still watching him.

He didn’t like seeing Cyrus so… devoid of life. He wasn’t like this with his past breakups.

Tommy was more of a friend than a boyfriend and sure, Cyrus had been sad, but it was a mutual split. His feelings for Freddie went deeper but they broke up and made up so much that Cyrus didn’t even cry when he broke up with the drummer for the last time. Lance must have been special.

Not for the first time, T.J. wished it was him, instead. He wouldn’t break Cyrus’ heart the way Lance did.

“Legs go up, legs go down,” T.J. began to sing. “That’s how you make the swing go ‘round.”

Cyrus’ lip twitched.

“Come on,” T.J. prodded. “You gotta sing it, Underdog.”

His friend flashed him a look that asked, “Really?” But, eventually, Cyrus sighed in resignation.

“Drag your feet, you go slow,” he sang. “The more you drag, the less you go.”

Smiling, T.J. sang along with him, kicking his legs into the air, enthusiastically.

The sight of two high school guys sitting on the swings and singing what sounded like a nursery rhyme was probably comical to the outside view. But, T.J. didn’t really care what other people of them thought because Cyrus needed this. He needed to feel and be reminded that things would be okay again.

They rarely went to the swings anymore. High school made sure to get in the way of that. But, the rare times they did, it was always for a good reason. Either they were celebrating something or one of them needed comfort. The swings were always there, waiting for them.

“Remember when we first really talked?” T.J. asked, out of the blue. “It was right here.”

Cyrus chuckled. “I thought you were going to make fun of me.”

“Nah, you were too cute. I couldn’t make fun of that.”

Cyrus blushed. “It’s amazing how much things have changed since then, right? Except for these swings. I’m surprised they haven’t fallen apart yet. Unlike my heart.” He dug his feet into the ground, stopping his swinging, and let out a loud sigh. “I’m sorry for being such a downer.”

T.J. shook his head. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to be.”

“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.” Cyrus’ voice cracked as he spoke. “I want to stop crying. I want this pain here.” He placed a fist against his chest. “To stop. I just… want to move on already.”

“And you will, Cy. I know you will because you always do. You always pick yourself back up.”

Finally, Cyrus turned his head to look at him. “Really? You think so?”

T.J. grinned. “Definitely.”

Cyrus’ smile widened. “Thanks, T.J.”

“Anytime.” T.J. pushed himself off his swing. “I’m in the mood for ice cream. What about you?”

“I’ve eaten so much ice cream in the last three days, I feel like my stomach is gonna pop.”

T.J. raised an eyebrow. “So… yes?”

Cyrus stood up. “Lead the way, basketball guy.”

They bought ice cream from a guy with a cart and sat on a bench to enjoy their treats. T.J. regaled Cyrus with stories of what he missed at school, all the shenanigans of their schoolmates, and how he missed the rare day where the cafeteria served curly fries for Friday lunch. At some point, someone came by, walking their puppy, and it resulted in Cyrus getting on his knees on the asphalt to pat and briefly play with the little critter (T.J. took photos and videos).

By the end of their hangout, the color and vitality were back on Cyrus’ face and he was laughing and bouncing as they made their way back to T.J.’s car.

“Today was fun!” he exclaimed. “And that puppy was so cute! I have got to convince my parents to let me adopt one!”

Meanwhile, T.J. placed the key in the ignition, getting ready to drive Cyrus home.

“Hey, thank you, again.”

He turned to his friend, who was watching him, softly.

“You’ve always been there for me, Teej.”

T.J.’s heart fluttered at the complete faith and trust Cyrus had in him.

“I don’t think there’s anyone else in this world I trust more than you…don’t tell Buffy and Andi I said that.”

T.J. chuckled. “My lips are sealed.”

Cyrus sighed and leaned back in his seat, his smile faltering. “I always thought that… Lance would become someone I could completely trust. I’m kind of glad now that I never introduced him to my parents. Can you imagine the humiliation?” He chuckled, humorlessly before sighing again. “Damn, why do I have such bad tastes in guys?”

T.J.s heart began to quicken. “You just haven’t found the right guy. You never know… he could just be… right around the corner.”

Or right beside you, T.J. wanted to say but kept his mouth shut.

Cyrus huffed. “Where? They should just come out and sweep me off my feet.” He flashed him a grin. “I sound demanding. Sorry.”

T.J. shook his head. “It’s fine.” He paused, a lump forming in his throat as he turned his head to look at the wheel, instead. “Actually… Cyrus…”

“Yes?”

“I… um… if you want, you can…”

Go out with me. Date me. Be my boyfriend.

All those words ran in T.J.’s mind. He wanted to say them so badly.

“I can…what?”

Cyrus sounded like he was anticipating his next words. But, they only made T.J. even more nervous.

Cyrus had always said he was an athlete with boundless confidence but he couldn’t be further from the truth. T.J. was a coward when it came to him.

“You can… skip school on Monday,” he ended up saying, mentally kicking himself. “If you’re not feeling better, you shouldn’t go.”

“Oh. Yeah, I thought about that. But, I already missed two days. I don’t want to miss any more. Besides, I need to show Lance that he didn’t break me.”

T.J. finally chanced a peek at him to see Cyrus looking determined.

“I’m strong, right?” he asked, almost tentatively.

Feeling a little brave, T.J. reached out and placed a hand over his. “Very,” he agreed, squeezing his hand before pulling back. “So… ready to go home?”

Smiling, Cyrus nodded.

The drive back to the Goodman home was still silent but it lacked the tense atmosphere of earlier. Cyrus was feeling okay and relaxed enough to turn on the stereo and sing along to a few songs.

Meanwhile, T.J. was in turmoil, mentally scolding himself for being a coward. But, then he reasoned that Cyrus just got out of a relationship and probably wasn’t ready for a new one right off the bat. Besides, he didn’t want Cyrus to go out with him just because he was heartbroken. He wanted Cyrus to go out with him because he wanted to.

He pulled up to the house and parked. It was late afternoon now but he managed to bring Cyrus home before dinner so that earned him brownie points with the Goodmans.

“See you Monday?” Cyrus asked.

He nodded. “Monday.”

Cyrus leaned over and wrapped his arms around his neck and T.J. instinctively brought his own arms up, wrapping around his waist.

“You’re my best friend, Teej.”

T.J. swallowed. “You’re mine too, Cy.”

They hugged for a beat or two before pulling away and Cyrus got out of the car.

T.J. waited until he was inside the house. When the door shut closed, he let out a loud groan, leaning back on his seat, head hitting the headrest.

“I’m an idiot.”

…….......

“You’re an idiot!”

“I know!”

“You said he can skip school on Monday?!”

“It wasn’t my brightest moment, I know!”

Huffing, Marty dropped himself on the bed next to T.J. “He was practically giving you an open invitation to ask him out!”

“I highly doubt it’s that.”

“Dude, you are hopeless.”

T.J. snorted. “Don’t I know it.”

After dropping Cyrus off, T.J. had the bright idea of texting Marty and coming over to his house to rant.

He wasn’t sure if it was a bright idea anymore. Marty just kept on going about how he missed an opportunity to finally make his move.

As they both stared forlornly at the ceiling, the door opened.

“And this is why your moms think I’m some sort of cover-up for your secret relationship with T.J.”

Both boys looked up to see Buffy standing by the door, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, babe, we’re totally in love,” said Marty as he sat up and opened his arms invitingly.

Buffy rolled her eyes but nonetheless, walked over and plopped herself onto Marty’s lap. Meanwhile, T.J. continued to lie on Marty’s bed.

“So, what’s going on?” she asked.

This allowed T.J. to relay the story again, complete with arm gestures and his inner thoughts of the moment sprinkled in. Buffy listened, nodding or rolling her eyes in response to his narration.

When he was done, she was shaking her head.

“I agree that maybe asking him out right in this moment is a little… inappropriate,” she said, carefully.

“Ha!” T.J. blurted out, pointing at Marty. “I told you.”

“But!” Buffy continued, flashing him a pointed look. “You also shouldn’t waste time like you did after Tommy and Freddie. You’ve been crushing on Cyrus for years, T.J.! You’re a better choice than all of his previous boyfriends! And that’s saying a lot coming from me! So, why don't you just make a move?!”

Yes. Why didn’t he? Ever since 7th grade, there had always been this strange… pull… between him and Cyrus. He never understood what it was. He just knew that he liked him. A lot. Between then and now, he could even say that he had fallen in love. Hard. 

“I’m… scared of losing him,” he replied, softly as he stared at the ceiling. “I should probably just give up. You know how relationships go. Honeymoon stage. Then, you get comfortable. Then, you realize you don’t have feelings anymore. Then, you break up and never talk again. I can’t… I can’t handle it if Cyrus and I stopped talking.”

Buffy and Marty were both watching him now, sympathetic to his plight.

“Is that what you really believe would happen to you, guys?” Buffy asked, gently. “Your entire friendship is not that shallow, T.J.”

“I know… it’s just… I’d rather have him as just a friend and not lose him than go out with him and have things go wrong.” 

He let out a loud and long sigh.

“T.J.-,” Marty began.

“Guys.” He sat up and leaned against the headboard. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” He managed a smile at them. “And, I’m not going to give up. I’m just… going to let him heal a bit. You know, get rid of all the Lance pain before I swoop in and put his heart back together. That’s a plan, right?”

He sounded confident on the inside but on the inside, his hope felt like a dry desert.

And judging by the looks the couple were throwing him, they weren’t buying it either.

It was worth a shot.

…….......

True to his word, that Monday, T.J. picked up Cyrus for school and he was waiting for him on the doorstep.

The drive was normal with Cyrus chattering, T.J. listening, and the two of them play fighting over who got to choose the next song that played.

This time, Cyrus didn’t leave his side to greet a boyfriend but simply to go to his own locker.

“Are you gonna be okay when…. You know…. When you see him?” he had to ask.

He didn’t have to say a name but Cyrus stiffened before loosening himself up and nodding. “I’ll be fine,” he replied. “Don’t worry. See you at lunch?”

“Yeah.”

With a smile, Cyrus bid him goodbye and bounded off.

T.J. went about his morning routine of being greeted by Marty, walking to homeroom, and settling in his seat to wait for the morning announcements and other stuff to start.

The announcements were a blur – updates on school events, wins and losses of their sports teams, and what they were serving in the cafeteria that week.

T.J. doodled on his notebook, bored.

Finally, announcements were done and they had a full fifteen minutes to do homework, study, or chat before the first bell.

And, then, the door opened. Everyone in class, including T.J., looked up to see the Vice Principal entering with a guy in tow. He was tall with distinguished curly brown hair and really thick eyebrows (that reminded T.J. a bit of Cyrus’ eyebrows, they were really cute).

The Vice Principal briefly spoke to Mr. Singh, T.J.’s homeroom teacher, before clapping the new guy on the back and leaving.

“Okay, kids! Eyes up here!” Mr. Singh called out, but everyone already had their attention on him, anyway. “We have a new student joining our homeroom. Please introduce yourself to your classmates.”

The guy grinned and lifted a hand in greeting. “Hi, everyone. Name’s Aidan. Aidan Ross. Moved here from Florida.”

From sunny Florida to breezy Shadyside? Quite a change.

“Okay, Aidan, there’s an empty seat right there by the window.”

The rest of the class murmured to each other and themselves as they watched the new guy make his way down the aisle. By this time, T.J. went back to his doodling, no longer interested.

“Hey.”

He raised his head to see the new guy in front of him, still grinning.

Oh, right. There was an empty seat next to T.J. right by the window.

“Um, hey,” T.J. greeted back, politely.

The new guy held out a hand. “I’m Aidan.”

T.J. knew that already, he was just introduced.

Nonetheless, he took the hand and shook it. “T.J.,” he provided.

Aidan squeezed his hand. “Nice to meet you.” He let go before proceeding to the seat next to T.J.

Confused, T.J. managed a, “Um… you too.”

That was odd.

A/N: So, I imagined this guy to be... Joshua Bassett. I just really adore his friendship with Luke and while I was setting the story up, his face popped into my head so... here he is! I even used his character name from “Stuck In A Middle”. (Super creative, I know. But I do like the name.)

Tag list:

@androgynouspoetrycollector

@tyrusmuff1n

@thedampjofangirl

@tjsmuffin

@alyssailovespuppies

@buffy-driscool

@cyrusyeehaw

@r4anly

@delicatesleeper

@amazingpartytattoos

@unprofessionalart

@myrandom-fandomlife

@tjshoodie

@just-fic-me-up

@i-am-confussion

@completelysterling  @theobligatedklutz

@justeilona @literally-just-for-fanfics

@turtle0verl0rd

@angel28716

[mentalcurls]

6.5 Effettivamente

I’ve been waiting for this clip ever since 3.4 Argentina (which took place a month ago today btw), but in my soul I’ve actually been waiting for this coming out since forever.

my 💔 poor 💔 heart 💔 broke 💔 seeing Martino watch his friends interact from afar

they’re relaxed and comfortable with each other, their relationship is as close as ever while Marti’s relationship with them is in tatters, he barely speaks to Gio and that’s it

this is even worse than the picture Gio posted on IG on Tuesday, when Martino was supposed to go to Elia’s to prep for the exam and didn’t go

my 💔 poor 💔 heart 💔 breaking 💔 again because, despite Giovanni’s reassurances on Monday, Martino doesn’t believe Elia has forgiven him so he chooses to stay away from him... and let’s not forget Elia sits next to Marti during classes

Elia leaves, Martino finally approaches Giovanni, but he looks like he’s going to his death, look at his face, my poor baby

has he ever been bluer?

deep breaths baby, deep breaths

HE DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING? LEAVING THE FIRST MOVE TO GIO (who doesn’t disappoint thank God)? SO HE COULD HYPOTHETICALLY IGNORE HIM?

JEsus, the awkwardness between them kills me

the seconds of silence between the greeting and Marti asking the first question, Martino licking his lips and swallowing like he’s gathering the courage to say something monumental despite it being a silly, innocent question

THE STILTED CONVERSATION oh God why, I’m hurting

“Ma non penso che ti interessi, no?” (But I don’t think you’re interested, right?) is Martino twisting a knife into his own wound because he’s saying: you don’t want to go out with the radio guys, you don’t want to get involved into something I’m doing (and I like, because we’ve seen he’s putting more effort into it with the Virginia Woolf thing on Wednesday - though it might also be something to keep his mind occupied on something that is not his crumbling relationships), you don’t want to spend time with me

I mean, Marti obviously knows, intellectually, that Gio doesn’t want to go to radio things because of Eva and because it’s just not his thing, but deep inside it’s just another refusal, one which Martino preemptively steels himself for

That “se… se ti va puoi… puoi venire da me” (If you’d like you can come to mine) is said in the same tone Martino has when he tells Filippo he’s seeing a boy in 5.5 Pride and when he asks Sana about homosexuality and religion in 4.3 Evoluzione

“Pizza, mortazza e City-Real” ICONIC

Marti asks Gio to hang out with a half smile (!!!) but Gio remains impassible and Martino’s smile falls

when Giovanni asks about their score, it’s as good as a YES FINALLY, it’s the rebuilding of the bridge between them and Martino smiles fully possibly for the first time in weeks because that’s their game, their ritual, their friendship going back to normal

WHEN THEY LEAVE THEY’RE BOTH SMILING AND TEASING EACH OTHER my heart sings with joy

Marti and Gio who are still laughing and making fun of one another while playing FIFA

(FIFA is a big bonding ritual for the boysquad, it’s the way they settle bets, it’s one of the topics they tease each other about, they play tournaments when they don’t know what to do, they keep long term score of who’s best and it’s something they all love, it’s a place of comfort for them)

(FIFA is a football/soccer game, which is imho significant as the setting Marti picks for his coming out, he’s trying to reinforce the idea that he’s still a guy who loves “boy things” like sports and videogames, despite his sexuality - as well as trying to reinforce that he’s still the same guy who played the previous 47+56 games he and Gio kept score of)

(the fact that Gio hesitates before starting to play FIFA again after Martino tells him he likes boys probably ups the level of panic in Marti’s head, because what if he’s gonna be excluded from something as important for their group and as “masculine” as FIFA now??)

(when Gio starts to play again AND ASKS MARTINO ABOUT NICO AT THE SAME TIME it’s such an important thing for Marti because he finds out can have it all)

I would like to thank not only God but also Jesus and LudoBesse for the closeups of Ludovico Tersigni’s face when he smiles 🙏

Their knees touching just gets to me, for no real reason, and I kinda wish we were able to see if they kept touching for the whole time or if Marti retracted after coming out

EFFFFFFettttttivaaamenteeeeee (make it last longer c’mon, Marti, I know you can)

is it me or does Marti look a tad disappointed when Gio asks him if the person he likes is Emma? maybe it’s just nerves

Marti who keeps stealing glances at Giovanni, checking in constantly

Gio senses Martino is uncomfortable, especially after the “ma non l’hai capito?” “no non si capisce un cazzo” (“don’t you know?” “no, I can’t understand you for shit”) exchange, and cracks the Sana joke to make him relax a bit, you can see he’s trying to keep a straight face long enough to speak without giving himself away (he should learn to deliver jokes from Nico, I mean, he kept a straight face for the whole Maddalena and hypertrichosis thing)

“Non *swallows* non è una ragazza” (It’s not *swallows* it’s not a girl) POOR BABY DEER HE CAN’T EVEN SPEAK  his throat must be so dry, he must be trying to keep breathing normally so hard, he’s probably shaking and THEN HE CLENCHES HIS JAW

once again Marti is steeling himself for the worst

and Gio just goes... slack, is the best way I can think to describe it, for a second. I don’t think it’s surprise? At least not for the gay thing, maybe for the fact that Marti actually confirmed it for him. It may also be relief

it’s just a second, then Gio gathers himself and thinks, looks at Marti who can’t meet his eyes

“Sono io?” (mind, non-Italian fans, it’s not a “Is it me?”, it’s more of a “It’s me?”)

I LIVE FOR MARTINO OVERCOMPENSATING WHEN HE DENIES IT to hide the fact that he did, indeed, crush on Gio for a long time 😘

the smiles. their smiles. Marti is slowly relaxing, Gio is finally understanding what’s going on with him and they feel like THEY’RE FINALLY FRIENDS AGAIN✨

Marti thinks it’s over, the three most important things he can see Gio wanting to know about (why’s Martino hurting, that Marti is gay and that he’s not in love with him) are out there and cleared between them now, and Gio smiled! And had nothing bad to say! Except he won’t play. Uh-oh.

HA, Giovanni Garau, patron saint of best friends, does it again! He’s put together all the little pieces, all the scraps of interaction, all the tiny moments when something he couldn’t quite pinpoint happened and BAM! He gets it, he knows.

Martino’s wry smile and nod

Gio mirroring him and nodding as well, halfway between “Okay, I can see it” and “Dude, well done, I’m actually kind of impressed”

and then Gio comes in like a wrecking ball against toxic masculinity and compliments Marti on his choice of man

Marti who acts like he’s never even noticed whether Nico is attractive or not

Marti looks so embarrassed, he should have been blushing (FE_CESARI UR GOOD BUT WHERE ARE MY BLUSHES ARE YOU A REDHEAD OR NOT????)

I wonder how closely Gio is mirroring the comments Martino usually makes when Gio himself tells him he’s attracted to a girl, maybe even when he told him about Eva? He tries his best to be supportive even though he doesn’t really understand, the exact same way Marti has always been supportive of him despite not understanding girls’ appeal

“Che fate, state insieme, uscite, COME STAI?” (What’s happening there, are you togethere, are you dating, how are you?) COME STAI GUYS most supportive best friend ever

“È un po’ strano lui” (He’s kind of weird) is such a weird way to put it? I mean, sure, you could say Nico acted weird, but not for the reasons Martino gives Gio, imo; he’s “weird” for changing schools in his last year, for his granddad’s puppets, for asking Marti to ditch a party he himself had asked him to and for dragging him to an abandoned pool of all places; Marti instead describes his as weird for appearing undecided, for seemingly stringing him along

is that a hint of disgust, almost, I detect in Martino’s voice while he quotes Niccolò’s text? Is he that fed up?

Gio makes a sound at that, that I can’t decide if it’s just an encouragement for Marti to go on, or if it’s an “okay, got it” while he plans Niccolò’s demise for daring to string Martino along

still, Giovanni sides with Martino but doesn’t tell his best friend he’s better off without Nico or make any threats of retribution or promises to fight for Marti’s honour or smth, because he’s a supportive pal who will trashtalk Marti’s s.o. when he acts like a dick but will still support Marti’s feelings for him and believes in Martio’s ability to take care of himself

I have Questions about Luchino’s voice message, specifically: who was this message sent to?

not Gio directly, because Luca asks “Voi c’avete”, second person plural

did he send it to the group with all four guys? but Marti’s phone didn’t ring, so either he’s got the group conversation muted (💔) or Luca sent it somewhere else

is there a group with only Gio, Elia and Luca in it to whom the latter could have sent the voice message? again, my 💔 heart 💔 breaks 💔

anyways, Marti is the best bro because despite not talking to Luca for two weeks he still offers up his notes

Gio taking advantage of Martino leaving without pausing the game to score on him lol

Gio asks Martino what he’s found while Marti is looking at the flipbook thingy... how much do you want to bet that by the time Marti answers nothing with that big smile on his face, Gio has seen the thing, what Marti was doing with it and the way he was smiling and he’s put everything together without Marti saying anything? that’s why he doesn’t press, as much as in recognition of the fact that Marti already opened up to him so much today

I 100% love the way both Marti and Gio start their sentences when they’re saying something important with “Comunque” (Anyways) as if it’s just a continuation from one long conversation between them, or as if they’re just stating for the record something that is obvious

Marti was definitely not expecting at all Gio to actively tell him he’s better than whoever Niccolò’s girlfriend is on principle, which in my experience is a very common best friend thing to say, and that hurts

Gio grabbing Marti by the neck and ruffling his hair is such a friend/brother thing to do, it’s a fond and exasperated thing in the way only siblings’ touches can be, halfway between an attempt to strangle you and a caress

This clip was so beautiful, the friendship between Giovanni and Martino is so beautiful, their ship is so beautiful! I’m so happy and so thankful for LudoBesse 🙏

[frisbee-camp]

Let Me Help

AO3 Link//Wattpad Link

Tj and Cyrus have been friends for a long time, but will that change after life comes crashing down and impulsive decisions catch up to them? (Angst, Ambi, love notes, slow burn, aged up so they're all in high school, god tier ships, mental health, and like a whole bunch more ladies! Let’s get this angst.)

Chapter 9 Unresolved 

"What do you mean you saw them kiss!?" Cyrus had practically yelled, Nala jumped. Andi and Buffy had told Cyrus that they saw Jonah with Walker the entire night, practically attached to the hip. "He's been avoiding us a lot lately," Andi frowned and bit her lip. Buffy nodded and added, "Plus, Marty said there were rumors that Walker was dating a boy." "But, Jonah?" Cyrus said, slumped, "Jonah Hercules Beck is straight..." "No one's straight Cy," Andi said as they pointed between themselves and Cyrus, "we would know." "Yea, but..." Cyrus trailed off. He had totally believed Jonah Beck™ was 100% straight. But now that he knew he was with Walker, he felt a sudden urge of jealousy. He was the complicated one, he was the gay one, not perfect and popular Jonah Beck. Cyrus grimaced, his cheeks felt hot. "Cyrus?" Buffy said, "are you alright? It's OK to be jealous." "Yeah Cy, we all know you liked Jonah, it was pretty obvious," Andi said smiling, "but now that means you can focus on TJ! Who has a total massive humungo crush on you!"  "Guys, I don't know why I said I liked him, I think it's because he defended me. It's because he defended me right? I mean no guy will ever like me," Cyrus said as his friends gave him shocked looks. "You've got to be kidding right! You've got the toughest guy in all of Jefferson basically in love with you and you don't even see it? You're all he sees Cyrus! D'you think he'd punch his longest friend over anyone? Don't be so oblivious," Buffy huffed, clearly over Cyrus' lack of self-esteem. After that, their conversation shifted to Buffy complaining about all of the girls that flirted with Marty and Andi complaining about never being able to see Amber because of her work schedule. Cyrus stayed silent for most of it, thinking back to when he woke up in his own sweater. Any other jock would have thought it was embarrassing or dorky, but TJ had kept it. His heart skipped a beat. Maybe he did like TJ? But, at the same time, he thought about how Jonah was going out with Walker, and that made his skin burn. It was worse than when Andi dated him, at least then he thought he had no chance, but now? Now that Jonah was, bi? pan? questioning? Whatever, Cyrus was still bitter. He envied Walker. What did he have that Cyrus didn't? Art skills? He could take a class. He's an artist! He'd won an award for his screenplay. Whatever, he thought, I'll just make Jonah jealous, we'll see how he feels then.  When his friends had left after telling him that their "relationship intervention" was over, Cyrus received a text from TJ.  From Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Hey Cy, hope you got home safe and everything, I'm sorry I punched Reed... Are we still cool? 😬 To Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Yes :0 thanks again,,,,,sry i was a mess lol. see you tomorrow?  From Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Of course :) See you at lunch? To Cool Basketball Guy!!!: Yup WOOP WOOp 💥 Cyrus couldn't help but frown at his own text message. Ugh, I'm such a dork. He immediately texted Buffy and Andi for help.  To GHC👩🏻👩🏾‍🦱🌈❣️: Cyrus 💕🕍✨: I think I just said I liked him because he defended me, so I'm overthinking it right? Like we're friends, so nothing will happen PLUS HES A HET!!1 ANDIII😽: cyrus stop overthinking everything, this happened with me and amber too remember???? BufFY 😩🙆🏽‍♀️: HE LIKES YOU DONT BE A DUMBBASSSSSS, THE ENTIRE SCHOOL KNOWSSSSSSSS LOOK AT THE VIDEO I DMD YOU ON IG GODDAMN  ANDIII😽: Buffyyyy we weren't supposed to show him that.... BufFY 😩🙆🏽‍♀️: he needs to know Cyrus was never into social media, he only went on to comment encouraging things on his friend's new posts. He even had his notifications off, but once he opened the underused app, his screen was filled with dm's, new followers, and comments. He quickly scrolled through most of them. Many of them asked if he was Dating TJ?! One said Hi cy i know u dont know me but ur like really brave another said idk who ur kidding, tj is straight lmaooo and another said hey is it true? His heart raced, he suddenly needed to stand up. Where would people get such an idea? Sure, people must have seen TJ fighting with Reed, but he didn't think people would connect that to him. TJ was respected, Cyrus wasn't, why would Tj's actions be caused by Cyrus? Cyrus opened Buffy's direct message, which had been pushed to the bottom of his feed by the time he went looking for it. It was a dark video, but Cyrus managed to catch an out of focus TJ and Reed standing in Iris' living room. He turned up the volume,  "-somewhere else!"  He heard Tj say, he looked disheveled and sweaty. "GOD, What is with you. Do you like him or something?" Cyrus gasped at the same time as the camera person. Is this the source Buffy and Andi were talking about? "So we were right, you do like him! And now you're choosing him over us?! We've been friends longer than you have with that loser-" Cyrus' eyebrows raised as he saw TJ's fist come in contact with Reed's face. The rest of the video was a blur of curse words and drunk teenagers chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"  Cyrus sat down on his bed, unable to comprehend what had just seen. Now he knew why he was getting so many notifications. He didn't know TJ could resort to violence like that. Hearing about a fight is much different than seeing that. But, he smiled. TJ had defended him, plus someone liked him! Him! Anxious, depressed, confused Cyrus Goodman who hated loud noises and sports. He felt light and airy, but most importantly he felt needed, more needed than ever. He had almost wanted to come out to his parents right then and there. They were all there, of course, sipping their wine about twenty feet away. He had quickly texted his friends a shocked cat gif and turned off his phone as he walked out of his room with newfound confidence.  "Hey Cy," one of his parents had called to him suspiciously, he didn't care which. TJ Kippen liked him and maybe he liked him back.  "Hello parentals," Cyrus said cheerily as he sat in an empty dining room seat, they were still having brunch, which had now turned into wine and ice cream. Cyrus picked at the leftover grapes and popped them into his mouth grinning.  "You look very happy today Cy, what did those girls do to you in there?" Norman joked. Cyrus shrugged and chucked uncomfortably.  "Whatever happened to that girlfriend of yours Cy? Ilene was her name?" a mom said. "No Sharron, it was Ivy," Todd said. "No, I'm pretty sure it's Isa," Leslie said. "Guys, you're all wrong. It's Iris. And we were never really together and I don't want to talk about this with my parents right now," Cyrus got up to leave, but one of his parents called out to him.  "Wait! Cy! Don't close us off so quickly. Just tell us, are there any new girls we should know about?" Shannon wiggled her eyebrows, Leslie nudged her side. Cyrus laughed a little too loud, "NO," he said, "no girls mom, never."  "Never?" Todd said, quizzically. Cyrus stopped. Did I just out myself through a joke? Am I really boo boo the fool?  "Cyrus?" His mom said, "do you want to tell us something we might already know? You know you can trust us." Cyrus thought about how his parents were trained in observing and analyzing. He knew that if he didn't answer, then they'd know he was hiding something if he answered too quickly they'd also know, and if he said anything at all they'd also know. He stood still instead, hoping that some being would impossibly teleport him to a different planet. Maybe Pluto? he thought Pluto is cute, and very far away from here.  "Cyrus?" His parents called again. Cyrus stared at the wall behind them, unable to speak. He gave one last chuckle and turned to walk a little too quickly to his room. He put on his headphones, played his playlist titled I'M A BIG FAT HOPELESS ROMANTIC and looked at the messages left on his phone. They ranged from encouraging Bitmojis to angry girls telling him to back off.  Oh my god, tomorrow is going to be hell. Cyrus spent the rest of the day nervously doing his homework in anticipation of tomorrow. Normally, he'd text TJ whenever he was nervous, but now that he was the reason for his anxiety, he stuck to his history notes. He had come out of his room only when he knew half of his parents were gone. Monday morning was relatively quiet, his parents had decided to not ask him about what had happened yesterday, which he was eternally grateful for. However, that was not the root of all of his worry.  Once he got to school, Cyrus immediately knew something was different. For the first time in his life, people his age noticed him. Everyone's eyes followed him down the hall, to and from his classes, and even during the peak hallway traffic. Thankfully, he had Buffy and Andi the entire day to protect him. Sure, they could protect him from direct attack, but he could still see kids whispering and pointing at him.  During lunch, Andi, Buffy, and Cyrus sat at their usual spot.  "Okay you guys, things are different now, be prepared." Buffy had warned them both. Cyrus felt uneasy, he knew something was about to happen, but he didn't know what. They had been discussing how to address Jonah's new boyfriend without being overbearing. They decided to not bring it up.  Just then, Marty and Amber walked up to the table and sat next to their respective partners, leaving Cyrus alone with his muffin for the millionth time. He thought about texting TJ, but he didn't know what to say to him.  "Cyrus!" Amber said, "I'm glad you're feeling better. TJ should be here soon."  Suddenly, the cafeteria doors opened and in came Jonah holding hands with Walker. Cyrus made a fist. They sat down a little too happily, Cyrus looked down at his tray. He felt tears pool in his eyes.  "Hello there," Buffy eyed them. Cyrus tentatively looked over at Jonah who seemed grounded. There was something different about him as if a light he didn't know existed had been turned on. He watched as Jonah talked to his friends, he didn't listen to what they were saying, he was too busy looking at how Jonah looked at Walker every so often just to smile at him. Cyrus wanted that. He wanted someone who understood him, someone who grounded him in reality, someone that didn't make him feel so lost.  "So," he heard Jonah say in his direction, "I heard that TJ likes you. I thought you guys were already together?" Cyrus thought he heard a twinge of jealousy in his voice, but it might have been his imagination.  Cyrus suddenly couldn't handle it anymore, from the stares to the questions, to gently coming out to his parents, it was too much. He silently stood up. His friends eyed him. "I need," Cyrus started but couldn't seem to verbalize his thoughts. What did he need? Something, he needed something. "Something," he said, before quietly packing his things and walking towards the cafeteria exit. Before he could exit, he saw TJ walk in. Cyrus saw the confidence oozing out of him, his stomach churned.  "Hey," TJ smiled at him, "Where are you headed? Lunch just started." "Oh, I was going to uh-" Cyrus looked up at Tj, Did his face get cuter? "I uh, was going to go sit with Andi and Buffy and them," he looked for an escape, but TJ was already turning him back around to join his friends.  "Come on then silly, they're the other way," TJ grinned. Cyrus hid behind TJ for most of the walk back to the table, the whispers they were getting were becoming unbearable, he wanted to cry. He couldn't make himself look his friends in the eyes when he sat back down. "Is this the something you needed?" Marty chuckled, Buffy jabbed him with her elbow. Cyrus fiddled with a broken spork as his friends continued talking about Jefferson gossip. Tj had inched himself closer to Cyrus, he let him. He hadn't noticed how different he felt with TJ around. How much easier living seemed to be. Before he knew it, he and TJ were shoulder to shoulder, leg to leg. He still couldn't bring himself to look at his friends, but they were used to his daily mini meltdowns. TJ started to laugh at something Walker had said, Cyrus grinned slightly He fits in so well. He saw Tj look down at him worried, he gently pried the spork out of his hands, it had started to draw blood. Cyrus hadn't noticed.    "What's wrong? Do you want to leave?" Tj softly asked him. Cyrus gave a small nod, his heart lurched. There were too many eyes on him.  Tj quickly packed away his things and gave his friends an excuse. Before walking away, Cyrus saw Jonah frown at them.  Cyrus didn't know where Tj was taking him, but he didn't really care. In the hallway, Cyrus thought he heard a noise. Once they rounded the corner, he saw Reed, Lester, and a couple other boys he didn't know. He gulped. TJ moved in front of him. "AYYYY look who it is!" Reed said, throwing his arms up.  "Leave me alone Reed," TJ said, trying to walk through.  "Bro, we're still bros. I forgive you for the other night. I know you were drunk and shit." Reed leaned in closer and said something to TJ that Cyrus couldn't hear, but made TJ look back at him.  "Dude, leave him alone," Lester said, pushing on Reed's shoulder.  "Hey, I just want to know what we're all thinking. So Teej, what is it? Are you still choosing this dork over your bros?" Reed said. The rest of the gang looked apprehensive, they didn't care enough to cause a scene. "Dude, just leave it," One boy said worried.  "Shut up," TJ said quietly, "Just shut up." Cyrus saw TJ ball his fists and tense up. Lester moved towards Tj, but Reed stopped him with his arm.  "Tell us," Reed said.  TJ stayed still. "Teej-" Reed had said before Cyrus heard bodies hit the floor. He closed his eyes. There was yelling, sneakers hitting the floor, and eventually, he heard the voices of teachers. Someone pushed him against the wall, someone else called his name, someone else touched his hair. He didn't want to open his eyes.