#and if they didn’t then una had to be like ‘actually there’s this ex… friend who is a lawyer but she won’t take my calls :(‘

[katiascraft]

𐙚⋆°.MODALES | FC43

[MANNERS | FC43]

⤷ franco colapinto x singer!reader x lando norris.

summary: You had a brief yet beautifully intense romance with F1 driver Franco Colapinto a few years ago when he was driving for F3. When he decided to end your relationship, you didn’t expect he would move on that quickly.

Warnings: I think angst. Not a happy ending but another happy ending (?) and strong language I guess. Cheating. Dialogues in Spanish mostly. Not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.

Author’s note: 200 FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION!! THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!! this was inspired on the EP “modales” by Yami Safdie which I recommend you check it out!! Also I’ll be using her for the posts. First time mixing smau and written stuff so yeah. Hope you like it 💌 don’t forget to like, comment, reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

f1gossipofficial just made a post

liked by @/user1, @/user2, @/landonorris, and others.

f1gossipofficial: breaking news ‼️ a source close to franco colapinto confirmed that @/y/nusername singer from Argentina it’s her ex and she just dropped an EP full of tea! 👀 apparently according to the song’s Franco dumped her for her new girlfriend @Franconewgirl and stated that franco isn’t as good as he seems! Let the tea be spilled everyone!

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↳ user123: @y/nusername TE EXPUSIERON BB [they exposed you bb]

↳ user1: OMG

↳ landnorizz1: why is our boy here ????????

↳ franmylove: oh no not this girl again pls leave him alone already!!!

↳ user4: she cute tho

↳ usar89: WHAY DOES SHE LOOKS EXACYLY LIKE FRANCO’s ACTUAL GF

↳ user20: girl I was about to mention it

↳ marylovesy/n: no puedo creer que franco la dejó después de que estuvo para el cuando mas lo necesitaba!!! [can’t believe franco dumped her when she was there for him when he needed it the most]

↳ landonorris: I guess I gotta take this to the group chat

↳ landonorris: she is so pretty

↳ user1: LANDO WTF

↳ usar444: land no rizz BRO WHAT

──── ──── ──── ──── ──── ────

💋ྀིྀི Track 1 - buen provecho.mp3

back to march 2023.

“Amor, perdón, ya sé, esto es una mierda. Pero realmente necesito enfocarme.. No es por vos, es por mi. Obvio que te amo y siendote sincero te voy a amar toda la vida, pero necesito enfocarme 100% en esto y/n” (love, I'm sorry, i know, this is a shitty situation. But I really need to focus. It's not about you,it's about me. Obviously I love you and to be honest I'll love you forever, but I really need to focus 100% on this y/n) you were already sobbing on the kitchen chair of his small apartment in madrid. This couldn't be happening. He wasn't breaking up with you over his career like you didn't have yours. Like all the sacrifices and support were with absolute shit. Franco was crying too but less emotional than you. He was colder, controlled. You were all over the place. You had to stand up. 

“Franco, qué pasa con todo lo que construimos? Todo lo que sacrificamos por el otro. Te apoye todos estos años para que? Se que las relaciones a distancia son difíciles pero con vos nunca lo fue. Franco por dios, te amo, te amo con todo lo que soy. Por favor, no me dejes” (franco, what about what we built here? All of the sacrifices we made. I supported you all of these years for what? I know distance relationships are hard but with you it wasn't. Franco, for god's sake, I love you. I love you with everything I am. Please, don't leave me) when he heard you mouthing the last sentences something inside him broke in a million pieces. He felt like a monster. He brushed his hair with one hand, anxious. He couldn't look at you after what you said. He felt like the worst human alive but his decision was already made. There was no coming back from it. It`s he`s dream. “Por el amor de dios, franco, decime algo”(please, franco say something) you expressed desperate. It was real and now you were in another country, alone, with nobody to talk to, to go to. All of that was him but even if he was sitting across the table from you, he was gone. So far gone, the room turned cold.  “No lo puedo creer.”(i can't believe it) you were speechless, empty. You had to sit again and that's when he finally looked at you. 

“y/n perdon. Pero es lo que necesito. espero que lo puedas entender”(y/n im sorry. But I really need to focus. I Hope you can understand) he expresado. You shook your head ironically dry laughing.he had the guts to act like this despite it all.  

“¿Sabes qué es lo más triste franco? Pensé que ibas a tener los huevos para decirme que me cagaste en la cara”(you know what 's the saddest part of this franco? I thought you would have the balls to tell me you cheated to my face) you dropped what you knew leaving him in shock. Exposed. Your anger intensified. “Obviamente lo sé hace 2 semanas. Quería que me lo digas porque vos te mandaste la cagada. Y aun así me pones una excusa de mierda y tenes la cara para decirme te amo.te cagaste en mi, en mi amor, en mi tiempo,en mi autoestima. Te cagaste en todo franco. No te voy a decir quien me dijo porque no importa. Ojala que te vaya bien y seas feliz con ella o con quien eras que no sea yo obviamente. Pero también espero que te enamores de alguien de verdad y te haga lo mismo solo para que sientas lo que siento y te des cuenta tarde o temprano lo que rompiste y nunca más vas a volver a recuperar” (i know it since 2 weeks ago. I wanted you to tell me you fucked up. But you decided to lie about it with an absurd excuse and you actually have the guts to say that you love me. You fucked me up and my selfsteam. You didn't care at all. I'm not gonna tell you who told me. It doesn't matter. But i hope you have a good life and be happy with her whatever bitch that isn't me clearly. But I also hope that you fall in love with someone and they do the same to you just to know how this feels and realize what you broke because there's not coming back from this) you  just had to take it off your chest. You were destroyed inside. Of course you still wanted to be oblivious and stay with him like nothing happened. But that was impossible to do. It was your second day here. He didn't even mention he wanted to talk. He was playing fool.   

💋ྀིྀི Track 2 - por favor.mp3

back to june 2023.

You and your bff were having a sleepover at your house. You were lying in bed just chatting about anything and everything. 

“Amiga viste esto? Pendejo del orto como le da la cara?” (girl, did you see this? That motherfucker. The audacity he has.) she handed you her phone to look at it by yourself. You see an instagram post. She looked so similar to you you got really confused for a moment. Then you realized it was franc and his new girlfriend. I think your jaw dropped to the floor. How could they? How could HE? You rolled your eyes. It still hurts. But you wanted to play it cool. its been only 3 months like did he even love you for real? You felt gross. You felt stupid. How could you believe him? That fucking smile. His fucking humor. His fucking fingers inside you that made you feel things noone did before. Ugh you hated him. You really hated him.

💋ྀིྀི Track 3 - gracias.mp3

Back to september 2023

franconewgirl made a post

liked by @/francolapinto, @/user2, @/alexalbon and others.

franconewgirl: sigan mirando y hablando que el novio más perfecto lo tengo yo 🩵 te amo fran [keep watching and talking. The most perfect boyfriend it’s still mine. I love you fran]

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↳ francolapinto: te amo princesa 🩵 [I love you princess]

↳ user23: PARENTS

↳ y/nandfran: 🙄

↳ user56: TELL HER TELL HER SCREAM IT GIRL

↳ user1: can’t believe he left y/n still

↳ yourbff: tiraba palo 🤣 [oh she’s throwing indirects]

↳ francolapinto: ?????

↳ yourbff: 🙄

↳ y/nusername: ��

comments have been disabled

💋ྀིྀི Track 4 - permiso.mp3

Move forward to september 2024 → Monza GP

The Italian breeze of summer made you feel so happy to be here. Not so much the fact you were in the same place with Franco and his girlfriend. But red bull invited you and you loved racing so much that you couldnt say no. plus, your friend kimi and ollie that you knew because they used to race along franco back when the two of you were together. 

You were so thrilled you met Max Verstappen and that he was so kind and actually had a genuine conversation with you. He was nothing like how the media wanted to portray him. He also introduced you to Lando Norris, another driver. He looked really handsome and was really welcoming as well. You found yourself flirting with him for a bit. He said he had a friend from Argentina and that if you were free you could go and drink mate together after the race. You couldn't deny you felt attracted to him. He was handsome. Of course you gave him your instagram and started following each other. 

A few hours later Charles Leclerc won the race and it was fenomenal to witness. He won the Ferrari home race. The tifosis went wild. Really emotional. It was his first home win. You watched the podium in a smile from the red bull hospitality building drinking a red bull. 

After a few minutes, you got ready to go to your hotel to rest for the rest of the day but Max stopped you. 

“Hey, y/n, there's a party tonight. You are invited if you want to come. Lando will send you the address” he said walking towards you. You smiled pleased and flustered. He was so beautiful in person. 

“That sounds fun, sure” you said with your foreign accent pretty obvious just like franco’s and he smiled widely. 

“Perfect. See you tonight!” he said after giving you a quick hug and walking away. 

(...)

You were laughing a little tipsy. Lando was by your side almost the whole night so far. He was really fun to be around and Carlos came to the rescue so you could talk to someone in your native language. Sometimes it's tiring to think and translate what you will say 24/7. 

After a while you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Little did you know, Franco was gonna stop you before getting into it anyway. You looked at him surprised. His perfume all over you again leaving you kind of confused. 

“Podes dejar de hablar tanto con él por favor?” (can you stop talking to him please?) he said clearly drunk but grabbing your arm gently tight. You frowen and shook you heard before setting free from his grip.

“Hola fran, todo bien? Si todo bien. Que bueno che. No soy mas tu novia asi que no vengas a hablarme y decirme que hacer. Gracias, chau” (hi fran, wassup? Yeah, all good. Great. I'm not your girlfriend anymore so don't come around to talk and tell me what to do. Thanks. Goodbye) you said sarcastically and went straight into the bathroom already annoyed by his attitude. It was being a great night but he has to come around and fuck it up. 

(...) 

Your moans were all over the place. His hands are right on your waist and his movement consistently gets in and out of you. 

“Sos tan linda, y/n” (you're so beautiful, y/n) he said under his breath.

How did you end up here? Again in his arms making you see the stars. Getting you drunk on his perfume. Grabbing his hair and pulling his head back. Him grabbing your waist and twisting you however he likes. Just like he always did. 

A part of you was crying behind your face, smiling in pleasure, getting loud in moans. You wanted him forever. Whether You like it or not, he was the love of your life. No other guy could ever make you feel the way he does by just looking at you. You were angry at yourself. He has a girlfriend and here you are. You are not supposed to be anyone’s slut. The pleasure was intense, reaching your high, hiding your face in his neck, squeezing his shoulders. 

where was his girlfriend?

What have you done? Fucking alcohol and feelings and shit.

💋ྀིྀི Track 5 - perdón.mp3

Fast forward to the next morning

“No franco, esto es un horror. Es horrible lo que hicimos. Me voy” (franco this is horrible. It's horrible what we did. I'm leaving right away) you said feeling terrible. Awful. A knot in your stomach. You got dressed so quickly. 

“Nono por favor y/en espera. Estoy dispuesto a dejarla. Por favor, te extraño muchísimo. Nadie me hizo sentir como vos y nadie lo hará. Lo sé. Por favor, no me dejes” (please y/n wait. I will leave her. Please, I miss you like crazy. On one made me feel the way you did and no one will. I'm sure. Please, don't leave me) he said. How fast the nights change, right? One day you are begging him to stay, and the next he is begging you to stay. You turned around to look at him. 

“Bueno es lo que te mereces después de lo que hiciste. No podemos estar juntos franco. Te acordaste tarde de que me amabas. Yo ya no te amo. Y esta noche fue un error. No me busques mas.no quiero saber mas nada de vos” (well that's what you deserve for doing what you did to me. We can't be Franco together franco. You remembered you love me too late. I don't love you anymore. This was a mistake. Don't look for me. I don't wanna know about you anymore.) your words would have cut his skin if they could. Torn him into millions of pieces. His heart sank. 

You grabbed all of your stuff. You were scared the girl was coming any minute. You just didn't want to deal with it. This shouldn't have happened.

💋ྀིྀི Track 6 - de nada.mp3

move forward to present day

f1gossipoffcial made a post

Liked by @user567, @user1, @user34, @user890 and others.

f1gossipofficial: the secret it’s out! @/y/nusername Argentinian singer and @/landonorris mclaren driver been spotted together getting cozy in Monaco!

view more comments

↳ user1: OMG OMG OMG OMG I LOVE THEM

↳ yourbff: 🤭🤭🤭

↳ y/nusername: 😳

↳ user45: la princesa de argentinaaa 🩵

↳ user123: I don’t like herrrrr 🤢

↳ landonorizz: Lando has a terrible taste on women tbh

↳ y/nstan: feliz si ella está feliz 💌 [happy if she’s happy]

↳ user12: omg she confirmed it !!!!!

↳ user90: WHAT I CHOKED

——————————————————————————————

y/nusername made a post

liked by @/landonorris, @/charlesleclerc, @/francolapinto and others.

y/nusername: oops! Nos descubrieron! Seguí hablando de mi. Gracias a mi tenes lo que tenes, mejor disfrútalo 🩵 yo estoy disfrutando la mía y nunca fui más feliz. Te amo @/landonorris gracias por amarme como soy 💌 [keep talking about me. You should thank me for what you have now. You should better enjoy it. I’m enjoying mine and I’ve never been more happy in my life. I love you lando, thank you for loving me just the way I am]

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↳ landonorris: te amo mi bonita 🩵 you make me the happiest. Thank you for being so wonderful and be so you.

↳ y/nusername: omg te amo te amo te amo infinito 🩵

↳ landonorris: te amo infinito 🩵

↳ charlesleclerc: congratulations lovebirds! A pleasure meeting you @/y/nusername

↳ y/nusername: omg thank you prince 💌

↳ user778: ME ACABO DE MORIR SON HERMOSOS [omg I’m dead you are both so beautiful]

↳ yourbff: al fin alguien que te ama casi tanto como yo te amo 🩵😭 [finally someone that loves you almost as much as I do]

↳ y/nusername: 😭😭😭😭 te amo hermana

↳ user09: if he’s happy we’re all happy

↳ user123: I know franco choked when he saw this

——————————————————————————————

Thank you so much guys for 200 followers!! You are the best mwak mwak mwak 💌 first time I tried this format of story so I hope it’s good!! I dont know if it makes sense tho but i tried!!

[goodobservationshirley]

Strange New Worlds season 2 episode 2

i’m so glad una’s ex-girlfriend is the best lawyer in the galaxy

[senoramadofuentes]

Amado Ch.1

In NO WAY am I romanticizing the actual Amado Carillo Fuentes, this is all based on the Netflix Character played by Jose Maria Yazpik.  

Minors DNI!

The story starts right before Felix got arrested by the DEA.

“Ready?” Valeria your bestfriend of years asks you. 

You give yourself a once over “Si!” you take a deep breath as you walk towards the door. Valeria, your best friend, was more than ecstatic for this birthday party. You not so much. Months ago when she mentioned that she was dating Vicente, Amado’s brother, you had to fake being excited not wanting her to go back to Vicente telling him about your hesitation. You didn’t want her trigger happy boyfriend to have a target on you. When Vicente introduced you to Amado, you were nervous. Amado had made himself a legend, you had kept a good cover 5 years after your divorce from your ex husband. Not wanting any attention from the PRI or from the notorious Narcos, especially the ones in the Plaza.  

You join in on the singing as you think about your recent date with Amado, you smile to yourself. He was funny and seemed genuine but again this is Amado, one of the most notorious drug traffickers in Mexico let alone the world. You were very doubtful to say the least, this man had his pick of women, had more money than he can ever spend in a lifetime. And most of all had the means and power to get rid of whomever he pleased. But that wasn’t for you to worry about because this was his birthday you were going to celebrate. “Welcome!” The valets says to you and Valeria as he opens the door for you. 

“Gracias!” you thank him stepping out waiting for Valeria to round the car to you. 

“WOW Y/N!” She calls to you as you were both taking in the lights, the music, the luxurious attires! As you enter the club a door man greeted you “los regalos van en esta sala (the gifts go in this room)” 

You both place your gifts in the room and leave. You quickly make it to the bar and get some free drinks. 

“Do you like it?” You ask Valeria 

“Si!” She responds

You nod in agreement, “Where is Vici?”  You ask using her nickname for him

“Uh I don’t know.” She looks around 

“AH! VALERIA” someone calls to her from behind and you both turn to look at who it was “Pepe!” Pepe was one of the sicarios under Vicente

“¡Hola Valeria!” he greets giving her a half hug “Hola! Y/N!” he greets you the same 

“¿Dónde está Vicente?” Valeria asks 

“He’s in the backroom where all the narcos are” He points towards a door 

“Gracias Pepe, where's your girlfriend?” She asks 

“Ah! No tengo novia Vali” 

“Aww” she pouts “next time, come to me for tips” He smiles at her offer “Y/N Lets go see our men” 

Pepe put his hands up to stop you two “Hold on, he asked me to tell you to wait, they are having a meeting” 

You tilt your head back in acknowledgement “Ah gracias Pepe” 

He smiled taking a sip of his drink before taking in your outfits “you look very beautiful tonight” 

“Pepe eres una encantadora (pepe you are a charmer)”  you tease. He blushed and waved you off before walking away. 

An hour passed of you both walking around and making light conversation with other people in the club. Pepe soon found you two and said that Vicente was asking for Valeria which meant you too had to go. There was commotion by the entry way because a lot of women were entering and leaving, you both waited around a little and let the commotion die down. Actually you had to convince Valeria to calm down because she wanted to shoulder her way through. When you two finally made your way through the door, you encountered a room filled with men sitting on couches which looked like a conversation pit with drinks on tables, ash trays, mixed nuts, in the middle and many of the narco affiliated members sitting around ogling the women. A flash brings you back and you see a camera man taking pictures of Amado with women on his left and right side. It seems like you and Valeria were late to the party because not as many women were coming and leaving a few of them ran past you on your left and begged for a picture with Amado who obliged and ran back out thanking him. 

“Ah Vali!”  Vicente calls with his arm stretched out to her 

Somehow some way you and Valeria split up and now you were both walking up to the main focus of the room which was where Amado sat on a throne like chair. You’re so nervous but you swallow it down and strut your way towards him. You hate that the room gets more silent as you make your way closer to Amado. You glance at Valeria who is also in her supermodel walk towards Vicente, you smile at each other and continue your strides towards Amado. 

“Hola mi amor!” Vicente finally greets with her in his arms 

“Vici! Te Extrane ( I missed you)” 

“Y/N” Amado calls to you with open arms

You smile at him “Hola Amado” 

“Usted Vino (You came)”  

“Si!, me pediste que (Yes, You asked me to)” 

He smiles down at you and embraces you 

“Feliz cumpleaños Amado Carillo Fuentes.”  You whisper before giving him a light kiss at the base of his ear which causes him to grip your waist tighter while he inhaled the scent of your perfume 

“Amado! Mi Cunado (my brother in law)” this makes you two separate ways as it seemed you two were in your own world “VALI!!!!” He smiles hugging her back 

“These are my friends/ business associates” He says as he introduces you and Vali.

“Hola” you wave greeting the men in the room “nice to meet you all” 

A few raise their glasses a few say the same back to you “mucho gusto” 

You smile and look around the room before making your way to greet Vicente, uncomfortable from the looks around the room. These men were undressing you and Valeria. 

“Señoras una foto con el cumpleañero (Ladies, a picture with the birthday boy!)” 

You both smile and lean into Amado “Gracias,” Valeria links arms with you and looks back at Amado “we’ll be back”  He scrunches his face “Where are you going?”  

“To get a drink”  she smiles  “don’t worry we will be back” she reassures him 

She leans into you and whispers “We need to get out of here!” You smile at her and walk out the room. When you step out of the room you can hear cheering you both fight the urge to look back and make head straight to the bar

“Those men” she says as she holds a look of disgust. You nod mimicking her facial expressions “Don’t like how they were looking at us!” It’s not like you and Valeria were modest with your clothing, this was a birthday party after all. You wore a wine colored version of this while Valeria wore this both of you were curvaceous and all the dresses did was highlight those curves.

“Undressing us with their eyes, EW! Vicente should have said something” She complains

“Like? He’s not a boss yet Valeria” you try to reason with her 

She sighed and shivered/shrugged off her feeling of disgust, when the feeling dissipates she looks at you with a smirk on her face “But in other news did you see how Amado was looking at you?” “No” you fib, trying to stop from blushing 

“You should have seen it I think that’s why the room got quiet” she takes a step back and motions to all of you “he was taking you all in” 

You smile and wave her off “Amado is a man that can have any woman he wants why would he be interested in me” 

“You are a woman can have any man she wants” You roll your eyes “I’m serious!” No one else wanted you to have a romantic life more than Valeria 

“Okay okay” you giggle pulling her in 

You both look back at the room. A few high fives and a round of cheering

You roll your eyes “I’m not going back in there” 

“You couldn’t make me” she adds 

While in the room as soon as you two had left the attention was on Amado

“¿Quién es ella? (Who is she?)” Felix asks “Mi amiga” Amado shrugged taking a sip of his drink 

“Amiga? Con el aspecto que tenía, no es amiga (Friend?, With the way it looked, she’s no friend)” 

“Ella es tu novia (She’s your girlfriend)” Vicente teased

“Ah es eso cierto? (Is this true?)”  “No we're just friends” Amado insists as he keeps up his chill composure 

Felix held a sly smirk “you wouldn’t care if I talked to your ‘friend’ would you?”  

Amado reclined in his chair, and smiled “No, pero ya tienes una esposa, ¿cuántas mujeres quieres? (No but, you already have a wife, how many women do you want?)” 

“Todas Ellas! (all of them)” Felix shouted Laughter erupted in the room and high fives were passed around the room. It’s not that Amado didn’t want you to be his, it's just that you were a little too reserved, maybe standoffish, and he didn’t know if he liked that. He was used to women being like Sofia wanting to be around him all the time and begging for his attention. You did none of those things and he was still deciding if he liked that or not. He did find you attractive and talks of the other men within the Plazas wanting to take their chance with you made him jealous although he didn't know why because he still couldn’t decide if you were what he wanted.

Unbeknownst to you and Valeria the party in the backroom moved to the main space and when you saw Felix walk up to a group of women next to you and speak, you and Valeria both looked at each other. If there was one thing you both agreed on, Felix was the main person to avoid. After Vicente told you about how he treated his second wife, and now his new woman was at home pregnant while he tried to make his way into some new pussy. The man was the typical womanizer. 

If you left immediately he would know it was him so you both talk about other things, like the  outfits, shoes, hair on other people. When he turns to look at who called his name you take that as your que to leave and you both make your way to the opposite side of the room where Vicente was and actually this would be the rare occasion you would be glad to be around Vicente. 

You are deep into the conversation that you don’t realize Amado is right next to you. When he grabs your hand you go to yank it back only to see him, you let him place it on his shoulder and pull you in as you finish the conversation with some other guys. 

“Que pasa?” You ask him now looking up at him. As he stood nearly a foot taller than you. 

“¿Vienes a mi cumpleaños y no pasas tiempo conmigo? (You come to my birthday and don't spend time with me? )” he tries to hide that playful smirk

You smile looking up at him and rub your hand on his beard. “No veo que estés enfadado por las otras mujeres que has invitado. (I don't see you angry about the other women you've invited.)” 

He grabs your hand and kisses your palm “Porque no me importan (because I don’t care about them)” 

“Only me? Am I that important?” you ask He points as he speaks “Mira alrededor de la habitación y ve cuántas mujeres están celosas de ti ahora mismo. (Look around the room and see how many women are jealous of you right now)”  

You follow his movements and there are daggers being thrown your way. You weren’t into the spotlight, even though Amado was one of the private narcos, he still is a man many women wanted.  You blush and remove your hand from his shoulder. “I’m not special” Matter of fact, you knew you weren’t because you had watched him flirting with another woman or so you thought.

He pulled you in by the waist “Para mí lo eres y eso es lo único que debería importar. (To me you are, and that 's all that should matter.)” 

You blush again hiding your face in his neck as he swayed you both to the music “estas sonrojado? (are you blushing?)”  he teased “Ay!” You complain trying to take a step back from him 

He chuckles not letting you out of his grip as he pulls you back into him “I’m sorry, I’m Sorry! I won’t mention it”  a brief silence between you two “incluso si es linda (even if it’s cute)” 

“Amado!”  You try to fake upset as you laugh. He joins in and leans down towards your ear and starts singing to the song the dj is playing. He loved the way you smelled, a mixture of coconut and something sweet. Different from the rest who tended to douse themselves with perfume, you required close contact for someone to smell you and he liked that.  He also loved the way your skin felt under his finger tips. How you seemed to be a perfect mold for his arms. “estás muy guapa esta noche (you are very beautiful tonight)” 

“So it 's only tonight that you think I'm beautiful?” you teased 

“Noooo, creo que eres más hermosa cada vez que nos encontramos. ( No, I think you are more beautiful every time we meet)” 

You smiled and looked up at him. You gently rub your hand on his bearded cheeks “Gracias Amado.” 

“¡Oye! ¡Tortolitos!  Amado, tienes invitados sorpresa (Hey! Lovebirds! Amado you have surprise guests!)” Ramon calls to get your attention

You take a step back and look towards the direction Ramon was pointing “You better get going” “Don’t leave without saying bye” 

“I won’t”  you smile as he lingers his grip on your hand until he finally has to let go 

“Ella no es mi novia ( she’s not my girlfriend)”  Benjamin mocked playfully 

“Ah Cabron” 

The men laughed as they walked towards the group of strippers that just arrived.

A lot of eyes roll from the women as you look around the room and you just laugh to yourself. If they only knew how much you hated this attention. 

You can’t seem to make your way back to Amado by the end of the night. Majority of the Narcos had left by then but you were still there because Vicente and Valeria or Vi y Va  were still around probably having sex in the back room because now you couldn’t find her. You figure you’ll ask for forgiveness later from Amado and ask for the valet to bring your car. Valeria was most likely going to go to Vicentes house. You were hoping to make a quick getaway but when the 4th person got their car before yours you start to complain 

“¿Dónde está mi coche? (Where is my car?)” you ask now irritated  

He grimaces not wanting to admit “Ma'am, the boss told me not to give you the keys”

Just as you were about to start an onslaught of insults you feel yourself being pulled back and when you look up its Amado. “Relajarse, tranquillo nena” 

“¡Amado!” You turn to face him “¡Quiero irme a casa, es tarde! (Amado, I want to go home it is late!)” 

He pulls you in closer and  kisses your cheek “Pasa la noche conmigo. (Spend the night with me)” 

“¿Por qué?” “Porque, nunca pude pasar el tiempo que quería contigo. (Because I never got to spend the time I wanted to with you.)”

You can’t help but feel this was his scheme to get his dick wet “¿y si no quiero tener relaciones sexo? (what if I don't want to have sex?)” 

He can’t help the clicking of his tongue; it slipped before he could control it, blame it on the liquor. He shrugged to play it off “So we don’t” 

You take a step back to look at him still not convinced. He grabs your hand and places it on his chest “Te prometo que no tenemos que hacer nada más que hablar. (I promise we don't have to do anything but talk.)” Amado will admit to a lot of things, is he a liar? Yes, Scammer? Yes, A thief? Maybe, A dangerous man? He can be if necessary, but one thing he never needed to do was scheme or play games to get pussy. He wasn’t that man, when it came to relationships he simply wasn’t like the other men that he surrounded himself with. 

You look around the very sparse club. You knew you weren’t going to get your car back, but you also didn’t want anyone to think you were some easy lay just because Amado asked you to go home with him. It was easy to say no to Amado in public, but in private for a man who ordered hits? Who was almost as powerful as Felix? Were you really safe? 

“Has estado bebiendo, (you have been drinking)” He comments bringing your focus back to him as he moves the hair from your face. 

You feel offended and scoff “¡Tu Tambien! (You too)” 

“Sí, lo sé, pero no es seguro que conduzcas tan tarde. (Yes I know, but it is not safe for you to drive this late)” 

You adjust the bust of the dress once more “Este vestido es incómodo. (This dress is uncomfortable)” you complain as the shapely dress was now digging into places that you simply couldn’t ignore anymore.

He smiles at you “you can wear my pajamas” He offers 

You offer a tight lip smile and nod 

“¿Es eso un sí? (Is that a yes?)” 

“Si” you grin

“Get my car!”  he screams as the valets scurry away “Vicente! Donde esta Vicente?” “No sé padrón” one of the sicarios responds 

“VICENTE!” he screams louder still no response. He sees his car and grabs your hand. “¡Ustedes dos conmigo, díganle que me fui a casa! (you two with me, Tell him I went home!)” he turned to look at the other sicarios “asegúrate de que él y Vali lleguen a casa sanos (make sure he and Vali get home safe) “ 

“Si padron!” 

He lifts his hand “Buenas noches!” 

“Buenas noches” you say softly as you get in the car. Amado’s hand rubs your back softly as you make it to his house. When you arrive at his home (A/N: just pretend that the apartment/hotel /building behind didn’t exist then) Amado helps you out of the car as one of the helpers opens the door. “Buenas noches padrón y señora  (Good evening boss and madam) “ 

He lets you step in first. You look around before finally facing him “Mi casa es su casa” he grins at you 

“Gracias” 

“¿Quieres algo de beber? (do you want something to drink?)” 

“Agua” 

He nods and returned with a glass of water

“Gracias”  When sees you adjust once again he rushes to an adjacent room and grabs a set of black pajamas and house slippers. He shows you the bathroom before he too disperses to his room to change. You put your hair in a bun tired of it touching your neck and shoulders. 

When he comes down the steps he asks “are you comfortable?” You nod “Si gracias”

“¿Quieres un recorrido por mi casa? (Do you want a tour of my house?)” 

You stand on your feet and grab his hand.  At some point you fade away still not believing you were in Amado Carrillo Fuentes home. The tour ended in his room, he offered to move the conversation back to the living room but you honestly just wanted to lay down. You drank too much, your body just wanted to lay down. Amado turned off the lights except the two lamps by his bed. He sits leaning against the headboard as you sit facing him hugging your knees to your chest. 

“My car!”  you all of a sudden remember while talking to Amado 

He chuckles “su coche será tra��do aquí por uno de los hombres (your car will be brought here by one of the men)” 

Oh you place your hand on your chest relieved  “Thanks, I can't believe I forgot my car. I worked hard for that!” 

Amado chuckles again and reaches over to move your bang behind your ear. You blush and grab his hand and lean into it. You start to think that your hesitation to come to his home wasn’t about him but more for you! As much as you tried to deny it Amado made you feel giddy and special, a feeling you weren’t used to. 

“Que? Dime! (What? Tell me)”  he insists as he sees you blushing once more

You shake your head not wanting to reveal your crush on him and ask him about being a pilot instead, because you were generally curious. He smiles and reclines a little, pulling you closer to lean  against his chest.   This is what Amado liked about you, there was no what is the most cocaine you’ve flown? Which place has been the most dangerous? What is the most money you’ve flown? Have you been in shootouts? What’s the name of your gun? What’s the most you’ve spent in a day? No rush to paint a picture of Bonnie and Clyde situation between you two.  In fact you never asked anything about his “occupation” all of your questions had to do with just him. He wasn’t used to talking about himself so that brought some unfamiliar feelings but nonetheless you weren’t pushy for information and respected when he didn’t wish to answer.

At some point the mood in the room changed from friendly to intimate. 

He is busy rubbing your cheek when he says “Gracias por tu regalo (thanks for your gift)” You smile “You are welcome, dear. Do you like it?” 

“Oh, no lo he abierto. Vali me dijo que me tienes un regalo ( Oh, I haven't opened it. Vali told me you have a present for me)” 

You roll your eyes “She ruined my surprise!” you complain while snickering 

“Una sonrisa tan bonita (such a beautiful smile)” he compliments as he moves his hand to rub your chin 

You blush again 

“Que? Dime carino.” he insists 

You adjust and lean in closer to him and take in all his features, 

“Sé que no has conocido a un hombre tan hermoso como yo. (I know you have never met a man as beautiful as I am)”  he jokes. This causes you to laugh, dropping your head on his shoulder. 

“Eres muy guapo El Señor de Los Cielos.” 

He chuckles and rubs your back. When you raise back up he focuses his attention on your lips only briefly looking up into your eyes then back to your lips. 

You move closer, close enough for him to now smell the liquor on your breath “Que quieres? (what do you want?)” 

He smiles “Un besito o dos o tres o cua.. (A little kiss or two or three or fou..)” Before he can finish you lean in and give him a few pecks, pulling away and leaning up to kiss his forehead and down the bridge of his nose before returning to his lips this time deepening the kiss into a slow meaningful kiss your mouths doing the job of sharing emotions kept hidden. When you pull away for good, you both give each other butterfly kisses softly giggling/chuckling with each other.  The hand that had found its way towards the base of your neck was now caressing your back and his other hand gently caressing the outline of your face. 

He leans in for a peck and you happily lean in “Y tu? Que quieres?” He asks you “Tu (you)”  you answer without a second thought, even too fast for yourself but, what’s the worst that could happen? 

“Yo?” He asks seeking clarification  

“¡Si! ¡Tu! (Yes! You!)” 

He’s still confused and the way his brows knit together is so cute to you right now. “No entiendo, ¿a que te refieres? (I don't understand, what do you mean?)” 

You smile and give him another peck “Solo te quiero a ti. Ni tu dinero ni tu poder ni tu estatus. Solo tu. Solo Amado.(I just want you. Not your money or your power or your status. Just you. Just Amado)”  you left him speechless. “Pero deberías pensarlo (but you should think about it)” 

You laid down on his chest as Amado looked up at the ceiling not sure how to respond to such a request. You could have asked for anything a million dollars he could give it to you no problem. A new car is no problem. A plane? No problem. Hell, even drugs are no problem. But just him? What kind of request was that? He is brought back to the present when you say you are getting sleepy and wish him a good night before laying down next to him. Amado turned to face you, still stunned but not enough to remove the hair that fell on your face. 

Amado Ch. 2

Author’s note: I know it’s very long. I didn’t want it to be but there’s so much I want to write, I had to make the first chapter heavy. I know there’s a lot of Spanish translated to English, it didn’t seem right to only write in Spanish so if you don’t mind I will keep it as is. Anyways tell me what you think. 

[hakasims]

The Most Important Review of Every Single Marwan Kenzari Film

If you’ve seen this one about Luca, you know the drill.

Now, Marwan’s brand is a little less defined than Luca’s but I managed to find similar tropes in a lot of his films. Also, rather than copy myself and give you a redundant Marwanmeter, I decided instead to recommend which Luca character best pairs with each Marwan character for your crossover pleasure. Let’s see if we ship the same things! Some of them are crack. You’re welcome.

(all gifs again by the awesomely amazing @weardes​ who did not ask to be my gif factory but life’s a bitch)

Het zusje van Katia (2008)

Will you miss him if you blink? Kinda. They talk about him a lot but his actual screen time is like 43.7 seconds. Also can I just say... he’s supposed to be from Italy?? The boy says literally one (1) Italian word, and you’ll never guess what it is. (Obviously, it’s “bella” like there’s a chance he could’ve said anything else.)

Is he hot? Painfully hot.

Is he naked? There’s this one scene where he’s wearing the sluttiest pair of speedos I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Does his hair look great? Actually, yes. Perfect hair, perfect beard, he looks amazing.

Does he fuck? Yes, a lot - off screen, including an M/M/F threesome he presumably, probably, most definitely initiated.

Best paired with? From what I’ve gathered, this hoe ain’t loyal, so the best course of action is to find him a Luca that would benefit from a one night stand with no strings attached and wouldn’t fall in love with him. The obvious choice here is Valerio from Slam - Tutto per una ragazza. They meet, they fuck, then Giac makes his 4-hour drive back to Pisa, and they don’t see each other again until the next time he’s in Rome. Everybody’s happy, especially the two sluts in question.

De laatste dagen van Emma Blank (2009)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, absolutely.

Is he hot? Very.

Is he naked? Almost constantly.

Does his hair look great? He’s got those cute short curls, he looks so good.

Does he fuck? That’s literally why he’s there: to fuck and to die.

Best paired with? Man, I wish I had something to work with here. The only thing we know about him besides his sexual prowess is his affinity for white suits and toy helicopters. And as far as I know, those might be the exact things Fabrizio from Nina finds hot in guys. So like, why not?

Loft (2010)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character.

Is he hot? Yeah, sure.

Is he naked? There’s a scene where he’s wearing underwear and a tank top but it somehow makes him look like a kindergartener.

Does his hair look great? It looks quite nice.

Does he fuck? Yes, though I wish he didn’t.

Best paired with? Tom is a very violent person and a drug addict. He does messed up stuff to his sexual partners I’d rather he didn’t do to any of Luca’s characters. Feel free to use him for your sadistic fantasies or as a villain or whatever.

Rabat (2011)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s one of the three leads.

Is he hot? Oh yes! And cute!

Is he naked? He’s at the beach wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

Does his hair look great? He’s got this extreme undercut thing that would look ridiculous on anyone less pretty, so like no, he doesn’t have great hair, but also like it’s Marwan, you know what I mean?

Does he fuck? Before he embarks on a road trip with his friends, he has an offscreen threesome with two girls he picked up at a wedding. Slut.

Best paired with? Gabriele from Waves. They’re both sweet guys who could meet in some Tunisian port and decide to sail the Mediterranean Sea together.

Black Out (2012)

Will you miss him if you blink? Not unless your blinking is very deliberate.

Is he hot? Not really. He’s a dirty cop with a shitty moustache and oral fixation.

Is he naked? No, but I wish he was: his clothes are awful. Marwan is 29 in this movie and he looks 50!

Does his hair look great? Nope. They took Marwan’s usual short hair and made it not work somehow.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? The one thing Luca’s characters all have in common is that none of them come off as bootlickers. All of them are either too soft for such a relationship or wouldn’t waste their spit on a cop.

Wolf (2013)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? *gestures wildly at the gif*

Is he naked? He’s got quite a few shirtless scenes.

Does his hair look great? It’s nothing special but suits his character well.

Does he fuck? Oh yes.

Best paired with? Hear me out. I know that some people ship him with Fabio, but in my opinion that pair, while hot, doesn’t work. Here’s my pitch: Cesare from Non essere cattivo. The drug connection is still there, but in this case Majid’s problem-solving skills won’t fall on deaf ears. Cesare needs a daddy, ok? Majid can be a daddy when he needs to, especially when he has a soft boyfriend to care for. And Majid needs soft, not psycho.

Hartenstraat (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist once again.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? There’s that iconic scene where he’s wearing nothing but black boxer briefs and boots while carrying a tray...

Does his hair look great? He’s got Joe-like curls and looks like what every male romantic lead should aspire to look like and then cry because they all fail.

Does he fuck? There’s one very unfortunate sex scene played for laughs. I’m pretty sure he’ll need therapy afterwards. I certainly do.

Best paired with? Paolo from Il padre d’Italia. Paolo deserves the best boyfriend, and who’s better than Daan, an extremely hot man who cooks? They both have daughters, so they can talk about that, I guess, and Paolo can finally have a family. Honestly, this is so wholesome I just made myself cry.

Lucia de B. (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? For sure.

Is he hot? He’s a cop. Again. But he looks good.

Is he naked? Fully dressed, but man are his clothes ugly. Is that a cop thing?

Does his hair look great? He has slightly longer curls, which is fine and the best thing about this character.

Does he fuck? ACAB. (I know this doesn’t answer the question, I just wanted to make it clear.)

Best paired with? See my bootlicker comment from earlier. While Detective *checks notes* Ron Leeflang isn’t explicitly corrupt, he’s obviously a dick, so the best I can do here is recommend any Luca character that has ever been in trouble with the law for any fics about power imbalance you want to write but aren’t comfortable with a nice Marwan playing the villain.

Bloedlink (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Oh no, he’s there the entire time.

Is he hot? In a weird way, yes.

Is he naked? So, so, so naked. Like, leave nothing to the imagination naked.

Does his hair look great? I’d say that little rat tail is the exact opposite of great.

Does he fuck? Probably more than is good for him. I should also add that he’s canonically queer in this.

Best paired with? Rico is a pathetic loser in need of someone who’s got his life together and has a lot of experience dealing with fuckups. Enter Loris from Il mondo fino in fondo. He has a stable job and a savior complex, and with his little bro gaying it up in Chile and not needing him anymore, all he wants right now is someone to fix. I should be a fucking matchmaker in real life, for real.

Pak van mijn hart (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Undoubtedly.

Is he hot? No. The whole point of his character is to be the lesser choice compared to a guy who looks like a completely ordinary bland white dude...

Is he naked? ...so of course he isn’t naked! What, are they gonna take this poor woman, show her Marwan Kenzari’s post-Wolf body and expect her to choose her deeply mediocre ex? Please! They’re gonna dress him in the dorkiest clothes possible...

Does his hair look great? ...and make him wear the most awful wig that was clearly run over by a truck.

Does he fuck? No. As you can observe, they tried really hard to make him unfuckable, but honestly, he seems like a perfectly nice guy.

Best paired with? You know what? Mattia from La solitudine dei numeri primi is in desperate need of some sweetness and normalcy. I’m sure Richard will treat him with kindness and respect.

Collide (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character. Out of five.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? Not for a second! What’s up with American movies where people aren’t just casually walking around naked without any plot necessity???

Does his hair look great? His curls are so cute you guys! Look at them!

Does he fuck? Not explicitly.

Best paired with? Fabio from Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot. Again, the drug connection is there, but Matthias is soft enough not to butt heads with Fabio and, by the end of the movie, rich enough to satisfy his cravings for good living and fame. Also look at how good their color coordination is with those dark wine red clothes! Sometimes planets just align, okay?

Ben-Hur (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, especially if you aren’t watching the background.

Is he hot? Your usual Marwan hot.

Is he naked? No.

Does his hair look great? His typical short curls with a twist. I think the forehead area is supposed to invoke the Caesar cut? I don’t know. It looks fine when not hidden under that dumb helmet.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? A better script and a much better director. (Seriously, what is this blocking?)

The Promise (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there a decent amount in the first half of the movie and then almost completely disappears in the second half.

Is he hot? Very much, yes.

Is he naked? Unfortunately, no.

Does his hair look great? He’s got short curls again, but this time they’re fashionably styled, it’s magnificent.

Does he fuck? Oh yeah! And there’s no way he isn’t bi or pan in this. No way.

Best paired with? Roberta from L’ultimo terrestre. Listen, Emre Ogan may be a slut but he’s a gentleman, okay? He’d treat Roberta right and he’s got daddy’s cash to spare on hundreds of gorgeous white dresses for her.

The Mummy (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there, but barely.

Is he hot? Dangerously hot.

Is he naked? Not once! Instead we get a naked Tom Cruise literally no one asked for.

Does his hair look great? It’s your basic professional short hairdo.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Malik is a member of an organization tracking and destroying various monsters and historical artefacts related to them. Guido from Tutti i santi giorni speaks four languages, including Latin, and is a literature and ancient history nerd which makes him a valuable asset. Malik can fight and protect; Guido is bumbling and in need of saving. Guys, this writes itself.

What Happened to Monday (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, especially not in the third act.

Is he hot? He’s okay.

Is he naked? Very naked.

Does his hair look great? They shouldn’t have greased his curls back. He looks like another victim of Fabio Cannizzaro’s stylist. Also I wish he’d either shaved or finished growing out that beard.

Does he fuck? He fucks and he fucks good. He’ll go down on you, he’ll deflower you slowly and gently, he’ll choke you if you want him to, he’ll spoon you all night, he’ll give you emotional support, he’ll murder people for you - he’s down for whatever.

Best paired with? There’s one Luca character who needs a lot of sex and even more emotional support. Alright, most of them do, but I’m thinking of Ettore from Lasciate andare. He needs it, okay? Good dicking, good spooning, a good ear, a fine piece of ass to cry into - you get the gist. Most importantly: someone who’d love him for who he is and with whom he could relax and be himself. (Also, I see you, people comparing him to Fabio. Shame on you for sleeping on this soft boy and judging him based on his appearance.)

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s kinda always present, being very French.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? No, but I’m willing to forgive that because he looks so good in his conductor uniform.

Does his hair look great? He never takes off his hat.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Mickey Miranda. They’re both murderers morally dubious characters who would look hot together. What else do you need? (Again, I see you, people who want Pierre for Roberta because he’s a “nice guy”, and I know for a fact you didn’t watch the movie. Spoilers, I guess.)

The Angel (2018)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? Oh yes.

Is he naked? Not once, but you won’t regret it because he’s wearing excellently stylish 1970s clothes.

Does his hair look great? It looks fantastic. The sideburns (not yet seen here) are a good touch.

Does he fuck? He can definitely get it, but he’s loyal to his wife.

Best paired with? As the most aesthetically coherent and fashionably hot pair in this post, Ashraf and Primo are a no-brainer. Can you imagine Primo calling him “Angel” in different contexts? When he’s being intimidating, not realizing how palpable the sexual tension between them is, and later not even hiding his arousal? Sometimes things just work because they’re hot. That’s all, folks.

Aladdin (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the main villain.

Is he hot? It’s not like he went viral for being the “hot Jafar” or anything.

Is he naked? No! Fucking thanks a lot, Disney.

Does his hair look great? He has a buzz cut under that turban but he looks good in the turban, so that’s something.

Does he fuck? It’s a Disney movie, so he doesn’t fuck - explicitly or otherwise - but he still comes off as a thirsty bitch.

Best paired with? Jafar ends the movie as a genie who’s obligated to grant his master three wishes but is enough of a petty bitch to exploit the hell out of the “gray area” and screw them over Wishmaster style. My unconventional pair for him is Lui from Ricordi? So many scenarios with distorted memories and magic-induced mindfuck. So many possibilities for awesome and messed up crossover gifsets! Don’t say I never give you guys anything.

Instinct (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s very prominent.

Is he hot? I hate myself for finding him hot but I do.

Is he naked? He’s playing basketball shirtless in one scene, shaking his sweaty boobs everywhere.

Does his hair look great? His weird mohawk-like thing is honestly terrible, but if anything can make it work, it’s Marwan’s bone structure.

Does he fuck? Um, I’m pleading the Fifth on this one for the sake of good taste.

Best paired with? Prison. A very lonely, Luca-less prison.

The Old Guard (2020)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, unless blinking in your case means sleeping through the gloriousness that is the first ever canonically gay couple in an American action film.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? Shirtless in one scene.

Does his hair look great? Soft curls courtesy of Luca Marinelli’s tireless lobbying.

Does he fuck? Not on screen, but you can just tell by the way he looks at his husband and reads impromptu poetry right to his face. And everybody knows nothing kindles the fires of passion quite like murdering homophobes together.

Best paired with? If you have to ask, you’re clearly reading this by mistake. In which case, kudos for finishing such a long and confusing post, now go watch The Old Guard and cry at the beauty that is The Immortal Marriage.

[cajon-desastre]

FYI...again

Lo que voy a decir me costará bloqueos y anon gilipollas pero a estas alturas me da igual.

Si, teníais razón, es real ¿Estáis felices? Por supuesto que no, queréis vernos retorcernos de tristeza y lamentarnos por las esquinas. Veo lo que hacéis y veo la pornografía del dolor en vuestras formas de vanagloriaros de la existencia de un papel y las burlas que eso trae para reafirmaros en vuestro gran pedestal de la verdad.

Pero un papel sólo certifica una boda, un papel no garantiza un matrimonio real. Es un contrato vigente a partir de esa fecha. La convivencia y los gestos son los que hacen que sea real y ella tuvo su oportunidad en la convivencia pandémica pero ella siempre parecía estar sola. Sólo hubo ruidos extraños e insinuaciones verbales y un anillo que parece la lámpara de Aladino porque, a falta de una imagen real, el marido estaba metido dentro.

¿Y qué opino de la relación Tait? Que es un contrato, como el certificado de boda. Ningún troll y Tait me va a convencer de que él es el exitoso hombre de negocios que quieren hacernos creer. Lo dije en su momento en conversaciones privadas con otros ex-shipper y lo mantengo: Es el típico amigo sanguijuela que siempre está intentando aparentar algo que no es, viviendo un tren de vida que no puede permitirse por sus propios medios y que ha vivido siempre al amparo de lo que otros le han ayudado a conseguir, ya sea su hermano o su jefa-esposa. Sus deudas lo delatan, las empresas conjuntas sin actividad y las reales bien diferenciadas y separadas económicamente. Ella no es tonta y él puede ser el apoyo de una narrativa conveniente pero no está demostrando una confianza ciega en él y sus finanzas, manifestando una y otra vez su dejadez e incompetencia: quejoso en los eventos de Oscars e indiferente a su esposa en un momento etílico. Su sonrisa de suficiencia en la fotos de Henley también es muy significativa (y una de las pocas veces que lo vemos sonreír en fotos con ella). Sabía lo que llegaba en unas semanas, su gran triunfo, conseguir su mamá de azúcar.

La relación Tait es extraña y muy fria, ella era más cariñosa con él cuando no eran oficialmente pareja mientras que con Sam sigue habiendo destellos, incluso cuando la boda ya había tenido lugar y todavía nos cuestionábamos si fue cierta. Y no me cuenten la excusa de que ella no podría hacer una boda católica y no respetar sus creencias. Por favor, el hermano mayor de Tony no duró un año con su esposa, casados en la misma iglesia, y ya están divorciados.

La imagen actual que se está vendiendo en todas partes es fácil de identificar sólo con una simple búsqueda en Google, es lo que es y no podemos negar la evidencia. Sam y Cait no pueden estar juntos porque ella está casada. El valor real de ese matrimonio no se plantea porque el fan y el espectador medio no conocen lo que sabe el fandom.

Sigo manteniendo lo que dije, soy fan de los dos y ellos actúan según su carácter y circunstancias. SM no es la biblia y las insinuaciones siguen siendo eso, insinuaciones. Para quien le resulta inconcebible que siga siendo fan de personas que no son perfectas según sus parámetros que se miren en el espejo y piensen cuán alto es su estándar con las personas que le rodean. No es mi primer fandom y he visto de todo, los actores no son santos y la vida de glamour y Hollywood tienen un precio.

A ojos de los poseedores de la verdad soy un Extreme Shipper aunque nunca he estado convencida del tren de bebés (cosa que quisieron hacerme creer ex-shipper ahora muy beligerantes) y la boda en otros países.

Entonces, ¿cual ha sido siempre mi postura sobre todo este circo? Soy creyente de su relación y Sam y Cait están juntos en todo esto. Sam utiliza el apartamento como plató de tv, la dirección tan conocida por el fandom sólo hace que sea más fácil tener engañados a los acechadores que sólo irán a mirar allí, en realidad no sabemos dónde vive, eso es sólo una cueva útil. Igual que los seguimientos en SM, el eterno mira aquí y no mires allí. Cuando quieren ser privados lo son y nunca sabrás dónde están y con quien. La muy pública relación se muestra en todas partes, la privada sólo es para ellos. Hacer interpretaciones literales de todo lo que se ve y hacen público sólo refuerza las teclas que saben tocar para que la gente baile a su son. Una foto, un seguimiento, un like y el resto escribe el fic.

Y sé que los juegos van a seguir, con fotos posadas-robadas y publicaciones en sitios de clickbait.

También sé que seguiremos siendo monitoreados con capturas de pantalla de todo lo que decimos y comentamos en blog amigos para poder tener contenido en blogs que lo único que publican son sus burlas de un sector del fandom. Por mucho que os moleste y cabree somos creadores de contenido y celebraremos las cosas buenas que nos hacen felices.

Resumiendo.

Se necesitan dos para bailar el tango. En este caso, tres...alguno tiene que tocar el bandoneón.

Y, después de quedarme a gusto, seguimos con la programación habitual.

Gracias a todos.

------------------- 

FYI...again

What I'm going to say will cost me block and anon asshole but at this point I don't care.

Yes, you were right, it's real. Are you happy? Of course not, you want to see us writhe in sadness and lament around the corners. I see what you do and I see the pornography of pain in your ways of boasting about the existence of a role and the mockery that it brings to reaffirm you on your great pedestal of truth.

But a paper only certifies a wedding, a paper does not guarantee a real marriage. It is a contract in force as of that date. The coexistence and the gestures are what make it real and she had the opportunity of her in the pandemic coexistence but she always seemed to be alone. There were only strange noises and verbal hints and a ring that looks like Aladdin's lamp because, in the absence of a real image, her husband was tucked inside it.

And what do I think of the Tait relationship? What is a contract, like the wedding certificate. No troll or Tait will convince me that he is the successful businessman they want us to believe. I said it at the time in private conversations with other ex-shippers and I maintain it: He is the typical leech friend who is always trying to pretend something he is not, living a way of life that he cannot afford on his own and that has always lived under the protection of what others have helped him to achieve, be it his brother or his boss-wife. His debts betray him, the joint ventures without activity and the real ones that are well differentiated and economically separated. She is not stupid and he may be the support of a convenient narrative but she is not displaying blind trust in himself and his finances, manifesting again and again his slovenliness and incompetence: complaining at Oscars events and indifferent to his wife in a ethyl moment. Him smirk in Henley's photos is also very significant (and one of the few times we see him smile in photos of him with her). He knew what was coming in a few weeks, his great triumph, getting his sugar mama.

The relationship Tait is strange and very cold, she was more affectionate with him when they were not officially a couple while with Sam there are still flashes, even when the wedding had already taken place and we still questioned if it was true. And don't give me the excuse that she couldn't have a Catholic wedding and not respect her beliefs. Please save it, Tony's older brother didn't last a year with his wife, married in the same church, and they're already divorced.

The current image that is being sold everywhere is easy to identify with just a simple Google search, it is what it is and we cannot deny the evidence. Sam and Cait cannot be together because she is married. The real value of that marriage does not arise because the fan and the average viewer do not know what the fandom knows.

I still maintain what I said, I am a fan of both and they act according to their character and circumstances. SM is not the Bible and innuendo is still that, innuendo. For those who find it inconceivable that they continue to be a fan of people who are not perfect by their parameters, they look in the mirror and think how high their standard is with the people around them. It is not my first fandom and I have seen everything, the actors are not saints and the life of glamor and Hollywood have a price.

In the eyes of those who have the truth, I am an Extreme Shipper, although I have never been convinced of the baby train (which they wanted me to believe now very belligerent ex-shippers) and the wedding in other countries.

So... what has always been my stance on this whole circus? I am a believer in their relationship and Sam and Cait are together in all of this. Sam uses the apartment as a tv set, the address so well known to the fandom only makes it easier to have the stalkers fooled who will just go look there, we don't really know where he lives, that's just a useful cave. Like the follow in SM, the eternal look here and don't look there. When they want to be private they are and you will never know where they are and with whom. The very public relationship is shown everywhere, the private one is only for them. Making literal interpretations of everything that is seen and made public only reinforces the keys that you can play so that people dance to your song. A photo, a follow, a like and the rest write the fic.

And I know the games will continue, with posed-stolen photos and posts on clickbait sites.

I also know that we will continue to be monitored with screenshots of everything we say and comment on blog friends to be able to have content on blogs that the only thing they publish is their mockery of a sector of the fandom. As much as it bothers and piss you off, we are content creators and we will celebrate the good things that make us happy.

Summarizing.

It takes two to tango. In this case, three ... someone has to play the bandoneon.

And, after this verbiage, I continue with the usual programming.

Thank you all.

[ethanesimp]

YOUR NAME // PROLOGUE

Pairing:  Ethan Torchio x Mexican GN! Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: A name. Two words. Twelve letters. Five syllables… That was all it took for you to turn your life upside down after hearing the name a fortune-teller promised belonged to your soulmate.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

A/N: I made sure to remove every description that was too specific to the OC (ex. eye color, skin tone, etc.) but please let me know if I missed one :) I hope you like it 

July 3rd, 2012

There was nothing better than summer vacation. It was one of the few times of the year where you spent almost every waking moment with your friends and got to forget about school for a few months. Not to mention all the beautiful festivals and carnivals that were organized in the city during this season.

Earlier in the day, you had begged your parents to take you and your best friend to the carnival that was starting today. You had found out there be a drive-in and one of the films playing was going to be Dirty Dancing, which happened to be a favorite movie of yours. They'd agreed to take you only because friends of your father were going to and he wanted to meet up with them after years of not seeing each other.

At some point of the night, they'd gone to see their friends after giving you some of their pocket money, leaving your best friend, Emilio, and you alone. It hadn't taken you too long to spend all the money they'd given you until there was only enough money to pay for the tickets to the drive-in and ten additional pesos that weren't even enough to buy a bag of cotton candy or popcorn.

There was still about an hour left until the movie started and you had absolutely nothing to do so you just sat by the game stands and watched people play darts to pass the time. Most were terrible and would often miss their targets by a long shot, not like you were much better at it though.

You got bored of seeing people try and miss every single time, so your mind darted to the most pressing and annoying matter at the moment. Ever since summer began, your head had been completely blank of ideas to write about. During the school year it had been buzzing with new concepts to try out, but the moment you got out and actually had free time, all those ideas went poof.

You had started writing about two years ago after your mom bought you a Gabriel García Márquez book and you fell in love with the idea of maybe writing one of your own one day. Just to be clear, you were nowhere near good at writing, but it kept you happy, so you kept on doing it in hopes that you’d eventually improve. Emilio was your only audience. He'd read every single thing you wrote down and criticize it, not like he knew more than you did about writing, but it was still a good way to try and get better.

Amongst all the people in the crowd, you spotted a couple holding hands, and your mind couldn't help but make up a story about how they could've ended there. Perhaps it was their first date, maybe they'd been together for years or maybe you were just being ridiculous and too much of a hopeless romantic.

Either way, Emilio saw it fit to interrupt your thoughts by poking you on the rib and pointing to a stand you hadn't noticed before. There was a small sign placed outside that read: 'Hazle una pregunta a la adivina y conoce tu destino por tan sólo cinco pesos.' You couldn't help but snort. You had never been one to believe much on things like those. Emilio, on the other hand, was a firm believer. (Ask the fortune teller a question and get to know your destiny for only five pesos.)

He dragged you over to the tent and you didn't complain just because you wanted to know what it was all about. You paid the small fee and walked in together because he didn't want to go in by himself in case it was a trick and there was a kidnapper on the other side or something.

The dark tent was only illuminated by a crystal ball that sat in the middle of a small round table with two chairs. In one of them sat a woman with long and white curly hair. She looked to be at least fifty-five yet the smile that appeared on her face when you walked in screamed youth.

The room smelled strongly of incense, but not to the point where it bothered you. In fact, you found it quite calming because the smell reminded you of the dance classroom that always smelled of incense and coffee. You looked and Emilio and he gestured for you to go first, so you pulled the chair back and sat on it. You fumbled with the velvet tablecloth to distract yourself as you felt the lady's eyes inspect your face.

"So, what has brought you to me today? What is the question you need an answer to?" You opened your mouth to speak but closed it right away because truth be told, you had no clue. There were many questions that you needed an answer to, but most were far too personal to ask a stranger.

You turned to look at Emilio in hopes that he'd have an interesting question for you to ask and he didn't disappoint, "What's the name of her soulmate?" You giggled and shook your head. It was the perfect thing to ask, nothing too personal and funny. You wanted to see what the lady would come up with.

She reached for something underneath the table and placed it right in front of you. It was a small sack full of things that had rattled when she picked them up. The lady opened up the bag and you noticed it was full of scrabble tiles. You furrowed your eyebrows, what was she going to make you do? Get out letters and see which name they formed?

"Okay, what I want you to do is to take a deep breath, close your eyes and pick out two of the tiles," You tilted your head to the side and sighed, but did what she asked anyways. You moved your hand around the bag a few times and picked up several tiles only to let them fall again.

Before you could pull the tiles out, Emilio emitted a sound that sounded almost like a screech, "¡Mierda! Tenía que llamarle a mamá antes de las nueve, ya vuelvo." By the time you had opened your mouth to protest, Emilio was already gone and you were alone with the fortune teller. (Shit! I had to call mom before nine, I'll be right back.)

You shook your head and apologized to the lady before drawing out two tiles and placing them on the table. You looked at the letters scribbled down on them: E and T. The white-haired lady placed her neatly manicured hands over the letters and closed her eyes. She leaned her head back as if she was looking at the sky and you saw her lips move but heard no sound come out of her mouth.

With an awkward chuckle, you fumbled around with the necklace around your neck. You had no clue why but you were starting to get freaked out, something about the vibe and being alone gave you a queasy feeling. Your head shot up the moment the woman spoke, "Hmm, this is quite interesting. You see, I'm sensing this strong connection between you and this person."

"Whose name is?" You asked and felt kind of stupid. As much as you wanted to pretend you didn't really care, the romantic side of you was eager to know the name of the person, even if you knew this was probably all bullshit.

"Ethan," She finally said as she looked you dead in the eye, "Ethan Torchio."

By the time Emilio had returned and asked his question, you were waiting outside shaking. There was something about the way she had looked at you that had sent shivers down your spine and the name... God, as crazy as it sounded, it made you feel something when you heard it.

As you watched the film, you still couldn't get it out of your head. Ethan... Ethan. You kept repeating it over and over again inside your head as if it were a mantra. As if there was someone out there who owned that name. There was just something about it that felt so right, you knew it in your bones. That something was the only thing that allowed you to remember the name, even years after first hearing it.

[fromthefishbowl]

10 italian songs that are terribly horny

Kind of a sequel of this post I wrote about the three Italian songs every Italian knows without fail, here comes another in the same vein and, as you might guess from the title of the post, they all are horny.

Because there’s absolutely no need to title your fic about Nicky losing his virginity after a Hozier song, when the Italian music scene of the 1970s has already blessed us with Cristiano Malgioglio!

Beware that this list features: threesomes, implied choking, implied masturbation, lengthy descriptions of dicks, and a whole lot of “dying”.

So, if you’re new to the Italian music scene, I bet you now have two questions: who is Malgioglio, and why is that “dying” in between quotes?

Cristiano Malgioglio is an Italian songwriter who has been working in the music industry since the early Seventies. Now known mostly for his flamboyant style and white strand of hair in his otherwise completely black head, he was a close friend of Fabrizio de Andrè, who was actually the one who introduced him to the music world. He has written a lot of songs that are LGBT+ themed and has always been very open about his sexuality, to the point that he has never even felt the need of coming-out. Out of the ten songs here presented, he has written three of them, and one of them is about one of his boyfriends.

As the censorship didn’t allow for song lyrics to be too explicit, songwriters and singers had found a way around it: rather than saying “coming” or “orgasming”, they would go with “dying”, which was a lot more elegant and could be inserted in literally every song without the censors being able to complain. And, trust me, there’s a lot of dying.

Here is the list, from the least horny to the most horny.

Chi Non Lavora (1970), by Adriano Celentano

Link to lyrics and translation here.

Commonly called Autunno Caldo (Hot Autumn), the workers strike that begun in 1969 and dragged itself into the August 1970 greatly influenced this piece (but for all the wrong reasons). Workers were demanding safer working conditions, which had been completely ignored up until that point. As the days went on and the more people joined the protests, the police got more and more violent, to the point that they had begun shooting people on sight. This caused a huge uproar from the protestors, and when the voice that people had been shot and harmed by the law enforcement, even more workers and even students joined the fight. Through a year of strikes, they forced the Italian government to create a new set of laws that would protect both workers and students.

The song mocks this movement: the singer complains about the fact that, since he is on a strike two days out of three, he cannot give his wife enough money and therefore she’s going on a strike too and won’t have sex with him. Basically this song is nothing but the woes of a privileged, extremely wealthy man who thinks that people protesting for the rights of a safe work environment is inopportune and stupid.

The only reason why I included this song is because “Chi non lavora non fa l’amore” (Those who don’t work don’t make love) is still very much used to this day. If you want a piece of media that actually explores the protests and the work environment of the time, I suggest watching La Classe Operaia va in Paradiso (The Working Class goes to Heaven), a movie from 1971.

10 Ragazze per Me (1969), by Lucio Battisti

Link to lyrics and translation here.

Lucio Battisti is a national treasure and if I’ll ever do more of these, he’s surely going to end up in more of them. Whereas De Andrè would write more traditional music and focus on the lyrics, Battisti’s music was a lot more danceable and his lyrics a lot lighter, usually focusing on loneliness and heartbreaks rather than social issues.

In this song, the protagonist is bragging about how he wants ten girls for himself, all for different reasons (one because she knows how to dance, the other because she’s a virgin, that other one because she has been with everybody but him). It is soon revealed, however, that the only reason why he’s doing it is because he’s still thinking about a very specific girl who broke his heart.

Remembering the note above, peep that “And red lips to die upon”.

Gelato al Cioccolato (1979), by Pupo

Link to lyrics and translation here.

First song written by Cristiano Malgioglio and also the one about his ex! And yes, it was sung by another man, but... oh, well. The lyrics are the same.

I feel like the only thing I need to say, about this song, is to quote it directly: “Chocolate ice cream, sweet and a little salty”. And that’s it, because the subtext is right there and it’s impossible to miss what it implies.

What I think should be added is the fact that the singer had absolutely no idea of what the song was about. Like none. It was only in 2007 that Malgioglio told him that he had been inspired to write it after spending a torrid summer in Tunisia, where he had gotten a boyfriend with whom he’d often get ice cream.

Carlo Martello Ritorna dalla Battaglia di Poitiers (1967), by Fabrizio de Andrè

Link to lyrics and translation here.

Translating this song absolutely murdered me: Paolo Villaggio, one of De Andrè’s best friends and an extremely important figure in Italian entertainment history, wrote it to play over Middle Ages sounding music, so the words chosen and the way sentences are structured are reminiscing of that time, and it was incredibly hard to find English words that matched.

This said, it’s possibly one of De Andrè’s most light-hearted songs (probably because he and Villaggio wrote it while their wives were giving birth to their sons), even if it does mention social issues.

King Charles Martel comes home from Poitiers but has lost the key to his wife’s chastity cage, so he doesn’t even go home before looking for another girl that can quench his thirst. He sees a beautiful maiden taking a bath and, seduced, convinces her to have sex with him. It is only when he has finished that she reveals that she’s actually a prostitute and now he has to pay her, but he runs away before doing so (but still after having complained about the rising prices).

The lyrics of this song were censored and fought against by the censorship so much that, even to this day, records with the uncensored version are extremely difficult to find.

Una Carezza in un Pugno (1968), by Adriano Celentano

Lyrics and translation here.

Yes, another Celentano song. I don’t like him either, it’s just that we cannot get rid of him for some reason.

Anyways, here we begin to get into hotter waters, as this song is about a man asking his girlfriend to think of him while she masturbates. Of course, since he cannot be left out of the question, he will think of her while he jerks off too.

Basically, unlike what a first read might make you think, the “fist” he makes while thinking of her is not because he wants to beat her up.

Il Triangolo (1978), by Renato Zero

Lyrics and translation here.

Renato Zero is another extremely flamboyant personality of the Italian music scene, and “Il Triangolo” is one of the songs of his that are best known.

As the title may suggest, this song is about a threesome. The protagonist goes on a date with their boyfriend and finds out that he has brought a second man, with the intention of convincing said protagonist to have a threesome. Although at first they need a little convincing, the protagonist then agrees to it and finds out they enjoy it a lot, to the point of coming to the conclusion that “Geometry is not a crime”!

Kobra (1980), by Donatella Rettore

Lyrics and translation here.

This song is about dicks, there’s no way around it and there’s nothing else to say. The singer sees a certain man and thinks about his dick, getting wet and fantasizing about the many things she could do with said dick. That’s it.

Pensiero Stupendo (1978), by Patty Pravo

Lyrics and translations here.

Second threesome song!

Unlike “Il Triangolo”, this song is a lot more subtle. It’s clear what the singer is talking about, but the lyrics are not as on the nose and leave more to the audience to feel it, rather than hearing it through words.

The song begins with the three people part of the threesome that are already doing it, and are still doing it by the time the song ends. It’s not about the act in and on itself, but more about the sensations it brings.

Ancora ancora ancora (1978), by Mina

Lyrics and translation here.

Second song written by Malgioglio!

Mina is probably one of the best known Italian singers, as her voice is said to be one of the best in recorded history and has an impressive rage of three octaves, so it really says something, the fact that this piece is so difficult that even her voice broke while holding a note (in an incredible way that only gives it character, but still).

The lyrics play with the fact that in Italian the word “ancora” can be translated and understood as “still”, “again”, and “more”. I couldn’t really give it justice in the translation, but it’s as if she was saying “Your hands still”, “Your hands again”, and “More of your hands” at the same time, and this kind of logic is repeated for every “ancora” she sings.

Even if the lyrics are suggestive, what was censored in this case was the video (the one linked with the song), as the close shots of the singer’s face, and especially of her mouth, were considered to be too sensual to be freely aired.

L’importante è Finire (1975), by Mina

Lyrics and translation here.

Third and last piece written by Malgioglio!

The story behind this song is a little nebulous, but I have read that apparently Malgioglio wrote it for Dori Ghezzi, De Andrè’s wife, but that that project never came to life and, in the meantime, he had managed to meet Mina, and had tried to get her to sing it. But... not sure if this story is directly related to the song in question or not.

Anyways, even for this piece it’s impossible to escape it’s meaning, to the point that, even if it didn’t contain any forbidden words, it was censored anyways for weeks, forbidding radios to air it and Mina to sing it on TV. However, people were so eager to listen to it that it still managed to climb the charts and was, eventually, allowed on air.

[sleepywinchester]

Fool For You Pt. 2 ⏤ Oscar Díaz.

Summary: You are back in your hometown Freeridge to take care of your sister Jasmine and your father after being away for six years. You left Freeridge looking for a better life but in that process you had to let go of someone you loved. But you’re back and things are not the same but they sure feel like it.

Words: 4,038

Warnings: Smut (ish) - Abusive Ex Mentions 

A/N: I usually don’t write smutish fics (honestlyyyy i think i suck) but I TRY. On this part things get heated and you guys can see a bit more of their backstory but there’s still so much more to be revealed. 😈

(english is not my first language, might be some typos around)

❤

The continuous loud hard knocks on the window woke you up. Sitting up from the bed you let a loud groan, glaring at your sister on the other side of the window. 

“Open the door!” Jasmine shouted.

She watched you stand up from the bed. After what happened last night you didn’t want to talk about it because you are still processing it. But you knew Jasmine and she wouldn’t leave you alone until you two talked. Opening the door she barged in, standing in the middle of the room and taking a hit of her inhalator. 

Closing the door you turned to see her in the eye, “¿Que?”

Jasmine’s eyes got wide open, “¡¿Que?! LAST NIGHT I CAUGHT YOU ALMOST BONING SPOOKY AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS ‘¿QUE?’ BITCH I NEED ALL THE DETAILS. ¿Cuéntamelo todo?”

You rolled your eyes walking by her, “I told you I buried that shit when I left.” Turning on the coffee pot, you turned and she was glaring at you. 

“Well it seems like last night he was going to bury his D!” Jasmine shouted.

“JASMINE!” You shouted with wide eyes. “Gosh,” you leaned against the counter.

“In that spot,” she mocked and you rolled your eyes. “Okay fine, I’m being extra but this shit is huge. Like freaking Spooky and my sister? Bitch! Who knew you had it in you?!”

You cocked an eyebrow, “Had it in me? Bitch! I got needs too.” 

Jasmine busted on laughter, “Yass Queen! I can’t believe you’re actually my sister!”

Shaking your head you turned and began to pour coffee. “Anyways,” you looked at her over your shoulder, “Oscar and I have a lot of history. We have known each other since we were kids. We were together until-,”

“you left his ass and went to New York City,” she cut you off completely bluntly. 

Your head tilted to the left as you shrugged, “Pues si, lo deje. I wanted to leave Freeridge, I wanted so much more than just this hood.”

“And he didn’t?” 

“He did,” you sighed and your head dropped. Thoughts of all that could have been rushed through your mind. You and Oscar often talked about a life together out of Freeridge but there was also one major factor in between. Turning around you met her confused eyes, “He couldn’t leave Cesar alone with his mom. She-.” It was so hard to talk about this because his story and yours reflected. “She was a drug addict.”

Instantly Jasmine’s face transitioned into a sadder one. It wasn’t about gossip anymore, this shit was real and it made her think about mom. 

“I’m sorry,” you sat next to her, placing the coffee mug on the table and holding her hand. “This shit hits hard for us especially with mom…” Jasmine was holding in her tears. You felt guilty for not being here for her, she was the one dealing with mom being everywhere but her home taking care of her kid. “Perdón por no estar para ti cuando mas me necesitaste. I know you said you got it but you shouldn’t, you should be going around with your friends being as crazy and loud as you want.”

“I mean I still did that…” she smiled softly, “I just didn’t want to spoil what you had with Alex in NYC.”

“Boo,” you slightly fixed her hair, “that shit was already spoiled.”

She frowned, “What do you mean?” 

“He hurt me, Jas. In so many ways and the fucked up thing is that I thought it was my fault that I deserved that until one day it got out of control and I said no mas. I remembered who I was and my value.” Your voice broke a little, talking made you think about the awful times. Jasmine holds your hand tightly. Showing you she was there for you. “I was at my lowest point but you called me and…” you smiled, “you saved me, mana.”

“I love you, girl. I’m so sorry,” Jasmine stood up from the seat and hugged you so tightly. Knowing you were unhappy and being mistreated made her mad and sad. But you were safe now and she finally had her sister back.

Hugging her built tears in your eyes, “I love you too.” 

She was on her way out when she turned, “I never told you this because it didn’t really make sense but… Santos helped us so much when mom left. They are scary as hell but they take care of their own.”

Your lips created a small thin smile, “How did they help?” 

“Groceries and utilities, papi’s check doesn’t cover all of it,” she shrugged. “Anyways, I’ll see ya at school, need to prep dad before leaving.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it. You get to school,” you told her. She smiled and walked away.

You got dressed quickly, put on a pencil skirt and paired it with a yellow blouse that had small flowers and went into the house. 

“Hola pa’,” you spoke sweetly to your dad sitting on his wheelchair. He wasn’t the same man after being deployed in Afghanistan.  Before the war he was the most optimistic man you ever met. He would always have the biggest grin on his face. “¿Te acuerdas cuando me ayudabas con las tareas?” You spoke as you got him ready for his day. “Those were the days and I did not even know it,” you continued. “I miss those days.”

You looked down at him, his eyesight was lost in the background, oblivious of what was happening. A part of you envied that, being able just to be numb to everything happening around. 

“Jasmine?” You heard a thick Mexican accent walking inside the house. 

“Hola,” you said cheerfully walking out of the bedroom to see Milagros, the woman who used to babysit you so many times as a kid was the same person who took care of your dad.

It took her a couple a seconds to recognize the little girl that had transformed into a woman. Milagros eyes sparkled when she placed the dots together. Instantly she flashed a big grin as she walked forward and wrapped you in her arms.

“¡Muchacha!” she exclaimed, “It’s been so long.”

The way she was reacting to you being home made you grin widely. Hugging her back brought memories of when she would pick you and your sister from school and babysit. Every time your mother would go away, Milagros would always be there for your family. She filled the void of not having a mother at all times. 

“Estas igualita,” you grinned. 

She grinned so much her eyes were difficult to find. Cupping your cheeks with her hands she placed a kiss on your forehead. “Estas hermosisima, mija.”

You shook your head, “Not as beautiful as you.”

Milagros laughed and gave you another kiss, “¿Cuando volviste chamaca?”

“Hace tres días,” you told her, “volví y I’m already working at the school teaching.”

“Siempre quisiste ser una teacher,” she grinned, “me da mucha alegría que estés de vuelta. We missed you so much.”

You kissed her forehead, “I missed you too. Take care of my pa’ por favor.”

“Pos claro,” she said glancing at your dad, “I have a full day planned.”

You chuckled and grabbed your bag saying goodbye at the same time you strolled out of the house. Couple of kids rode their bicycles by your house, all of them laughing. 

As you walked down the street the events of last night appeared in your mind. The thought  of that prophet trying to do something made you so nervous. But instead of drowning in your own thoughts, you decided to raise your chin and focus on other things. This was Freeridge and shit like that happened all the time. 

Looking around you noticed a Santo sitting by his porch, he looked at you as he took a drag of his cigarette. Changing your eyesight to another house, another Santo catches your eye. Soon enough you noticed a good amount of Santos outside which was really rare at that time in the morning. 

The sound of a car made your head turn, another Santo. 

“Oscar…” you said under your breath continuing the path to school. 

You had no time left to go and talk to him but it was definitely in your to do list. He had almost the entire Santo gang on subtle escort duty, all of them around the neighborhood from your house to the school.  

That day you saw Cesar and his friends at school talking and mostly scheming, they seemed troubled about something. 

Is he in the gang too? You asked yourself.

That wouldn’t be a surprise if he was a Santo, it was his family’s legacy to be part of that gang. Learning from the past events you left right at four after the bell rings.  Once again a couple Santos were spread around the block. You smirked, shaking your head as you strolled. You wanted to be upset and even mad at him for taking what happened that night to the extreme but there was no way you could be mad at him for making sure you got home safe.  

You thought that after a couple days the subtle escorts would stop but they never did. Couple weeks passed and The Santos were like clock work, always out and watching. Oscar hasn’t been seen around that much, it’s like after that night he got into a business or something. You’d lie if you say you didn’t want to see him because you did but your pride got the best of you and pulled you away from walking by his house and looking for him yourself. 

When the colmado came to sight the thought of a couple things crossed your mind and you went with it. Going in Selena Quintanilla sounded on the speakers, the viejita was dancing to the cumbia behind the counter as she restocked the cigarettes. She looked at you and engaged you to dance with her. Shaking your head you said no but gifted her a smile. 

“Vamos, vamos,” she walked out of the back, continuing to dance. 

You chuckled and slowly following her moves, somewhere else this would be such an unusual thing. In this hood even though everyone was going through their own bullshit, they still put it aside to laugh and have fun. 

Bidi Bidi Bom Bom rhythm was so contagious that La Abuelita did the infamous washing machine dance.  “Come on, mija!” Her smile brought light to the store. You couldn’t leave her hanging and started to do the dance yourself. Dancing to this song brought you memories of your mother teaching these moves to you and Jasmine. You moved your hips in circular motions to the rhythm of the song.

“Se emociona, ya no razona, no lo puedo controlar,” you sang with her. 

You haven’t been or felt this carefree in years, this moment filled you with joy. 

“Bidi bidi bom bom,” she sang, “mijo baila con ella!” 

Turning to see who she was talking to, your sight locked with Oscar’s brown sparkling eyes. You slowly stopped dancing, his grin didn’t show any of his white pearls but his eyes were so bright. 

“Hey,” you fixed your hair, catching your breath. 

“Muy bonita. ¿Que no, Spooky?” La viejita told him.

Oscar looked you up and down, nodding to the lady. “She is.”

She softly patted your hands a couple times, “I haven’t had that much fun in a while. Thank you, mija.”

You chuckled, “Neither have I.” 

“Spooky?” She said his name walking by him, “She knows how to dance and she’s not wearing a ring. Ándale,” Her whisper was everything but a whisper which you thought was hilarious. The old lady patted his arm softly as she continued to the back of the store. 

The two laughed at what she told Oscar. He had both hands inside his pockets as he reached closer to you. Seeing him made you realize you actually missed him after not bumping into him for weeks.

“What up?” He looked you in the eye.  

You shrugged, grabbing a basket, “Nothing much. You?”

“Igual,” he also took a basket.

Oscar and you walked side by side around the corner store both picking similar items. This would be a perfect moment to ask him about the cholo security you felt you had as you walked on the block but you didn’t want to ruin what was going on. 

“You still got moves,” he said as he got a corona from the fridge. He glanced at you, asking if you wanted one with his eyes. You nodded and he grabbed it and placed it on your basket. “La batidora siempre me volvió loco.”

You chuckled, “Everything makes you crazy, Oscar.” 

Oscar smirked at your words, he grabbed a handful of limes that were right next to you. Pouring a couple of those limes in your basket as well. His chest was pressed against you, “Everything you do makes me crazy.” His whisper turned on all your senses throughout your body. 

You grabbed hot sauce, looking back at him to see if he wanted any. Understanding his small nod you grabbed a second one and handled it to him. 

“Any plans tonight?” He asked, grabbing nopales and placing them inside his basket. You grabbed the sweet potatoes next to them and added them to your haul. 

“Aside from grading quizzes and maybe unpacking,” you turned to him, “nada.”

“You still got all those boxes laying around?” You shrugged guilty of being a procrastinator. The click of his tongue was followed by a soft chuckle. “Wanna go to a party?”

You cocked an eyebrow, “Santos party?” He nodded. “I don’t know... Don’t wanna get behind on grading those quizzes.”

“It’s all good,” he told you. Deep down he knew you weren’t the biggest fan of being around his gang and he didn’t judge for that. 

The two paid and walked out of the corner store, you were holding your bags with both hands. The sunset was in full effect, pastels of pink and blue painting the sky. Oscar gazed at you as your eyes were lost in the beauty of the colors. 

Licking your bottom lip, your eyes met with his. “Thanks for the protection.”

He looked away flashing a grin, “You noticed…”

“Your crew is really hard to miss,” you smiled. “Thank you.”

Oscar shrugged, “Just making sure you’re safe.”

Without asking for consent, you tiptoed your way to his cheek and placed a kiss on it. “I know,” you said, turning around and walking away. You looked over your shoulder when you felt his eyes on you. “Te veo, fool.”

“Nos vemos, fool,” he said watching you walk.

The corner store was a couple houses away from your place. You couldn’t see it but Oscar put his bags inside the car and leaned against the hood of his car. Lighting a cigarette he watched you stroll to your house and got in safely. 

/ / / 

Your skin felt refreshed after taking a shower and washing your hair. Only wearing a towel wrapped around your body, you began to look for something to wear.

“Where are my freaking t-shirts?” you roamed around the boxes on the floor. 

There were too many unopened boxes to find the one that had your sleeping t-shirts in them. Meanwhile the ones that were open had everything but you work blouses. The Harley Davison’s ones you’ve been using have become dirty. Your eyes roamed around the floor and found Oscar’s black flannel lying by one of the boxes. You sighed walking towards it and picking it from the floor. Your finger tips instantly feeling the softness of the material. Taking a quick sniff you noticed Oscar’s scent on it and better yet, it wasn’t dirty.

“What the hell,” you shrugged, putting it on. 

You could smell him on the shirt, God how much you loved his scent. Wearing his shirt made you feel close to him even though he wasn’t there with you.

Grabbing a Corona from your fridge, you took a sip from it and began to unpack. You’ve been procrastinating about it for almost weeks now but tonight was the night all of these boxes were going to be empty.

You were drinking the last of your beer when the knock on the door made you look over your shoulder and pause on the sixth box. ‘It’s probably Jasmine’ you thought, not worrying to stand up.

“It’s open, Jas!” You shouted, turning your focus back to the box of old pictures. 

“Not Jasmine,” Oscar's deep voice filled the room.

Looking over your shoulder, you saw him standing by your door with one 40’s on both hands. You stood up quickly noticing how Oscar fully scanned your body. Seeing you wearing his shirt turned him on. How the shirt covered enough to see most of your thighs and legs. It helped that you didn’t buttoned the flannel all the way through, giving him a good sight of your cleavage. He couldn’t help but roam his eyes, admiring every inch of you. 

Oscar cleared his throat, licking his lips before speaking. “You said you were going to be here unpacking and grading papers…” He paused, his eyes were lost on you. “Uh-,” he shook his head, “I just wanted to pass by and maybe help.”

Your eyebrows rose, “You want to help me unpack?”

“Yep,” he spat. 

“Don’t you have a party going on?”

He shrugged with no worry, “Me vale. I can go if you want.”

You shook your head obviously not wanting him to leave, slowly licking your lower lip as you walked towards him. He took a deep breath once you were in front of him. You smirked, grabbing one of the 40’s, “You can stay and help. I’m actually opening the old picture box.”

He watched you turn and sit on the middle of your bed. Oscar having a seat by the edge of it. You handled him your beer for him to open and watched him twist open his.

“I was wondering where my flannel ended up,” he teased, grabbing the box next to him and opening it. 

“I actually didn’t see it until today. Needed clean clothes and,” you looked down at the flannel, “this was clean enough.”

Oscar chuckled softly as he started to take out old photo albums. 

“I can give it back if you want…” you teased.

He glanced at you over his shoulder, “Keep it, te queda mejor a ti.” 

You smiled at his response, looking down to the photos laying in your lap. There were a couple of you with baby Jasmine in her crib. Your abuelita always got you guys the biggest and colorful bows.

Oscar looked back at the album on his hand, brushing through the pages he found an old picture of the two of you in High School. “Mira,” he said.

You got slightly up and looked over his shoulder. Oscar clenched his jaw and his breathing began to get heavy as he felt you so close to him.

Flashing a grin you chuckled looking at your younger self sitting on his lap both with big wide smiles. “This was the first day we missed school to go to the beach.”

Oscar nodded with a small smile, “Si.”

“Todo era mas fácil,” you let out a sigh.

Looking at him, Oscar continued to look at the picture with nostalgia. You wished to be able to listen to his thoughts. Once again you were unsure if you should do what you felt. Kneeling next to him, you rested your chin on top of his shoulder. 

“You remember what happened that day?” you said softly. 

Oscar looked over his shoulder locking his brown eyes with yours. “Como olvidarlo.” 

You smirked, “We didn’t know what the fuck we were doing.”

He clicked his tongue, “We still enjoyed it though.”

“Hell yes,” out of habit your lips touched his skin for a second before placing your chin back on his shoulder glancing down to the picture. 

Oscar froze, his sight going down to your lips as he licked his and looked up back to your eyes. Being that close to each other was the only approval both needed to do what both were craving. He pressed his lips with yours, his right hand grabbing the back of your neck as he kissed you with passion. Your body followed your instincts and got on top of him. His fingers roamed inside your hair as his lips moved in sync with yours. 

The taste of his tongue is warm and lemon from the beer. He moaned when you bit his lower lip, listening to his moan turn you on even more. Your hands were holding the back of his neck. You could feel his hardness between your legs as you slowly moved your hips. 

His hands went under the flannel shirt you were wearing, gripping on your thighs and his fingertips finally finding the thin waistband of your panties. You stood up for a second, eyes locked with his as he slid them off your body. 

You wanted to tease him, you wanted him to build up the level of him wanting you. Slowly you began to undo your buttons, Oscar growing impatient. 

“Don’t tease, mami,” his voice was so deep and his accent so thick it made your skin tingle. He reached a hand over to you but you stood back, clicking your tongue as you moved your index finger left and right. 

“Paciencia, Oscar,” you said softly. 

Oscar smirked looking down at his lap before looking up to watch flannel drop to the floor, his hand reaching your nalgas and gripping tightly, pulling you forward. Looking down to your hip, he realized the black ink still on it. “Todavía lo tienes?” Oscar’s eyes linked with yours.

You looked down to the small cross tattoo on your hip. Turning so slightly you gave him a better look of it. Oscar’s hand touched it, reminiscing of when you first got it. That night was one neither was able to erase. 

“Damn,” he caressed it, “that was the night we-,”

You cut his words with another passionate kiss. He ignored his thoughts or what he wanted to say and continued tasting your lips. Oscar turned you over, laying you flat on the bed. You looked down at him, biting your lower lip watching him take his clothes off. His strong arms flexed as he crawled on top of you leaving trails of kisses all over your body, moans escaping with every kiss he left. Your lower back arched while your eyes shut to the sensation.

“Mírame,” he said, kissing right under your belly button. 

Biting your lip, your eyes locked with his, “I-,” you moaned when his hands cupped your breast. 

“Use your words, mi amor,” he said against your delicate skin. 

His tongue danced in a way only Oscar fucking Diaz could make it dance. He knew all your spots and how to work them. Your hands gripped the sheets of your bed tightly as you bit your lips holding the loud moans that wanted to escape your inside. 

“I can feel you holding your moans out,” Oscar told you, his look full of lust and hunger for you. “Let it out, bebe. Let it all out.”

“Fuck!” you let out a loud moan as he continued to eat you. In a matter of seconds he built you up back again. With every second, you could reach the stars more and more, until there was a full explosion. “Oscar!”

He kissed his way up to your lips, “Así me gusta.” 

“Me llevaste a las estrellas,” you kissed him. 

“Si?” He arched an eyebrow, his hand on your hip. Oscar kissed first kissed your chest, then kissed the left side of your collar bone. He left a trail of wet kisses all the way up your neck. He kissed your earlobe, you could hear his steady breathing. 

“Tonight I’ll take you to the whole damn galaxy,” he whispered in your ear.

______________________________________________________________

CHAPTER TRES

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[mamabear-elinor]

Elinor Aisling DunBroch -- Character Sheet

a naoidhean bhig, cluinn mo ghuth / mise ri d' thaobh, / Ó mhaighdean bhàn / ar rìbhinn òg, fàs a's faic / do thìr, dìleas fhéin

little baby, hear my voice / i'm beside you, / O maiden fair / our young Lady, grow and see / your land, your own faithful land

a ghrian a's a ghealach, stiùir sinn / gu uair ar cliù 's ar glòir / naoidhean bhig, ar rìbhinn òg / mhaighdean uasal bhàn

sun and moon, guide us / to the hour of our glory and honour / little baby, our young Lady / noble maiden fair 

Archetype — The Mother         Birthday — January 6, 1974 Zodiac Sign — Rising Sagittarius, Sun in Capricorn, Gemini Moon MBTI — ENFJ Enneagram — Type 6: the Loyalist Temperament — Sanguine Hogwarts House — (honestly still figuring this out…) Moral Alignment — Lawful Neutral Primary Vice — Pride Primary Virtue — Temperance Element — Fire

[cw -- mention of miscarriages]

Overview:

Mother — Una Briar (de Chateaupers) Father — Collum Briar Mother’s Occupation — homemaker Father’s Occupation — banker Family Finances — generational wealth Birth Order — eldest Brothers — N/A Sisters — Shannon Charming (b. 1974) Children — Merida (b. 1997), Harris, Hubert, Hamish (b. 2007) Other Close Family — Fergus (ex-husband), Henry Charming (nephew), Thomas Harrington (nephew) Best Friend — some lady from the Order probably.  Other Friends — other Order women Enemies — People wishing to harm her daughter so...the Order, I guess. Awkward.  Pets — None now, but she had a horse back home :( His name was Duncan.  Home Life During Childhood — Typical of an Order family. Except, because they were both girls, things could be tense. Their father had little to do with them. He was cold and not affectionate. Their mother did her best, but she was constantly stressed that her daughters weren’t going to find good matches, that it was basically all she talked about. She grew up being told that she should’ve been a boy. At first, she was a bit rebellious and could get away with being a bit of a tomboy, but by the time she was ten and her family didn’t have a boy--she was basically cut off from those outlets. Town or City Name(s) — Glasgow, Scotland What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — Simple. More girly than she would’ve liked it, but she didn’t have a lot of opinions when she was a kid about décor. That came later, after many lessons where the proper way to set up a room and what fabrics to use together and what colors suited each other. She actually really liked these kinds of lessons and took them to heart and changed up her bedroom when she was 16 to reflect this with deep blues and greens.  Any Sports or Clubs — Equestrian club, probably ran track/field in college because her parents couldn’t stop her, maybe played some other sports intramurally but not officially.  Favorite Toy or Game — Anything outdoors, loved camping and horse riding.  Schooling — graduated from the university of Glasgow with a degree in art history. (1996) Favorite Subject — History Popular or Loner — Loner in regular groups, popular with the other Order people.  Important Experiences or Events — When her sister was born, when she first babysat some neighbors kids and realized how much she loved bbs, when she got married, when she had Merida, when she had her first miscarriage, ...all the miscarriages after that, the birth of the triplets!, when Merida left home, when Merida returned as a wolf, when her sons went off to be squires :( Nationality — Scottish Culture — Scottish/the Order, lol Religion and beliefs — Catholic, quite religious. Her faith in the Order has been shaken, but her faith in her religion hasn’t.  

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Caitríona Balfe Complexion — Pale Hair Colour — Dark brown, often mistaken for black. Grey streaks that she hides with dye.  Eye Colour — Blue Height — 5’10 Build — Slender, but muscular Tattoos — Absolutely not! (Yes, she has a rose on her shoulder blade she got when she was 18.)  Piercings — ears  Common Hairstyle — Sensible half up do, though she recently cut it short, so that’s new.  Clothing Style — As I described it to Lauryl: Kate Middleton.  Mannerisms — Very stiff, very proper. Excellent posture. Does not gesture with her hands. (Usually.)

Usual Expression — 

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Has a good constitution but she can get colds when she’s particularly stressed. Physical Ailments — None, she’s pretty fit for almost 50!  Neurological Conditions — probably some depression, a few concussions when she was young, maybe i’ll make her suffer from migraines through menopause lol Allergies — None! Grooming Habits — Fair. She takes care of herself, but definitely isn’t a woman to do like hair masks and all that kind of stuff. Doesn’t mind getting dirty or roughing it camping.  Sleeping Habits — A light sleeper, tosses and turns, has not had a good night’s sleep in 24 years. Eating Habits — Fine? She eats, lolol Exercise Habits —  She actually exercises quite often. Goes for jogs, does yoga, some cardio, horseback rides, she likes to stay active. Emotional Stability — She is pretty stable, unless she gets pissed off, and then she is very not stable. Has a temper for sure.  Body Temperature — Runs a little hot.  Sociability — Enjoys socializing, definitely extraverted.  Addictions — N/A Drug Use — Smoked before she became pregnant with Merida. Will occasionally still smoke a cigarette when highly stressed. Alcohol Use — Not too much. Probably went through a phase where it was a bit heavier, but cut back.  

Your Character’s Character: 

Bad Habits — Short temper, making assumptions about people, being pushy and pushing her ideals onto others in an attempt to control them -- but she means well.  Good Habits — Organized, takes charge, throws a great party, very warm Best Characteristic — Her empathy Worst Characteristic — Her pushiness Worst Memory — Probably when she had to save her daughter from her husband, that was fucked up. Also, when her secret Order beau turned her away for a more “high ranking” woman to marry.  Best Memory — The birth of her children <3 Proud of — Not much, tbh. Which is ironic considering she has a lot of pride. Her children, but in a very complicated way. Embarrassed by — Her ex-husband, her own foolishness, bad manners Driving Style — Bit of a speed demon, heavy footed on the breaks lol  Weakness — Her children, being guilted into doing things Fears — Something happening to her children, that she has not been a good mother. Phobias — N/A Secrets — Man, so many but they’re mostly abstract. Basically: how unhappy she’s been her whole life. Regrets — Letting people push her around for so long.  Feels Vulnerable When — People point out her flaws. Pet Peeves — Bad manners.  Conflicts — Her whole life in the Order v putting her children (and herself) first. Motivation — To protect her children Short Term Goals and Hopes — Find Merida, make sure she is okay. Long Term Goals and Hopes — Be happy. :( Sexuality — Bisexual, she knows about it, but it is frowned upon in the Order, so she hasn’t really done much about it.  Day or Night Person — Day person, up early! Introvert or Extrovert — Extroverted Optimist or Pessimist — Pessimist Greatest Want — To protect her children Greatest Need — To embrace her freedom

[toongrrl-blog]

Bridget Jones: In Company with Beckys and Karens

We can start with unpacking your luggage Bridget, you are gonna need the help but pull your weight into it. 

Hi Bridget, looking good as always. Long time, huh? I guess it has been awkward after I have given your husband Mark a beat down and sent roses to his first ex-wife and your ex supervisor Perpetua. I think it’s time we talk. I understand life hasn’t been easy for you: your mother is nutty and a misogynistic racist, your father is friends with pervs and found it astounding you had a real boyfriend (Colin Jones won’t escape my ire), your friends are trash frankly especially the smug marrieds, you are insecure over a body that actually isn’t really a outlier to the dominant white patriarchal standard of cis female beauty (by the way, have you heard butt implants exist now?), your jerk husband is very negging and in the original novel he “compliments” you by pulling “Not like other girls” on you and all your other boyfriends see you as a piece of ass and don’t respect you, your uncle gropes your ass for how long and his wife pesters you about your body and past singleness. 

But let’s be real Bridget: those wilderness years where you feared becoming a sad spinster were endured in a spacious apartment where your bedroom was separate from the kitchen AND the living room without a roommate (hope I get this lucky), you haven’t wanted for nothing growing up in a affluent and safe town in a single-income family (your dad was also a accountant), you were given blonde hair and blue eyes (traits that have been considered desirable for multiple millenniums), your body was always curvier than you’d like but you had no problem finding a lot of clothes in your size and didn’t have a doctor fat shame you (now smoking and drinking...), I learned from Jameela Jamil that actually Britain of your teens and twenties was a racist time, you got to go to college (granted it was in the University of Wales, which wasn’t “prestigious” enough for Daniel Cleaver) and you got a stable office job at a publishing company that you often fudged (most WOC can’t fuck up like you and thrive in this culture), and you never been in most situations where you didn’t have to look in the media or in the room and find yourself out of place. 

Well now it’s 2020, have you heard of Black Lives Matter? This shitstorm of a year has been forcing us to confront issues regarding the patriarchy, capitalism, white supremacy, putting people of privilege to question their own involvement in prejudice, and a highly militarized law enforcement. Has Mark spoke of this to you? I haven’t heard a peep from you and Helen Fielding. I must say, I was glad not to hear either you or Helen say anything transphobic (fuck off JK Rowling). I think you heard of these memes going around called “the Karen” and “the Becky”, you must be wondering what the difference between the two are and was at a loss to counsel your smug married friends or your racist ass mother crying over being called Karens. Here is the trouble, I think you are likely a Becky and have the potential to turn into a Karen, after all you dream of weaponizing your mother’s embarrassing casual racism and thin privilege against Perpetua and Mark Darcy, and you dabbled in the White Savior trope for a hot minute in Thailand (oh and playing an idealized Ivanka Trump to your mother in the 3rd film?). Also let’s face it, you are compared to every confident, capable woman in your universe (surprise they are all bitches) or the non-Anglo British or non-British conquests of Daniel or Mark’s ex wife. 

Let’s talk about the traits of a Karen and Becky and how they are related, Bridget.

Karen

Ah the Karen, or as Tv Tropes called her the “Obnoxious Entitled Housewife”. 

Here is a bullet point of traits the Karen possesses according to The Take:

She’s an entitled, middle-aged, upper or middle class, often White woman.

She mistreats those “beneath her” like wait staff and customer service, classism at it’s most in-your-face and irritating.

She follows the rules, except the part about expired coupons.

She sticks to the hierarchy, using it to prop herself up. 

Often passive-aggressive and judgmental.

She puts up the image of the perfect fragile woman, even if she instigated a crime.

Narcissistic behavior. 

She considers herself the policewoman of human behavior.

She often lacks a understanding of different races and classes.

She projects her own misery on those who cannot fight back against her.

She is often a Know Nothing Know It All.

This probably hits home Bridget, they describe your mother, Auntie Una, and smug married friends. When you look at the news from my country, you tell yourself every time they wonder about your marital status or when you will have children, you are likely keeping them from calling the police on a black kid selling cups of water. But Karen is merely the more outwardly mature version of a trope you definitely fit and her name is....

Becky

Hey Bridget, your hair may not be as shiny as you like but according to a White Supremacist structure, you have “good hair”. You dealt with your literal Beckys Bridget (hi book version Rebecca Gillies), but what “Becky” refers to is to a often ditzy, somewhat entitled, young, white woman who lacks real racial understanding. It refers to how our society props up an image of idealized white femininity, sometimes it bleeds into women not considered “ideal” themselves. 

By the way, the redhead featured is Joan Holloway. She isn’t ditzy like a Becky but her Queen Bee behaviors, her reliance on her pretty privilege, lack of racial understanding, and her adherence to femininity and social climbing make her a modern-day Becky Sharp (also an earlier Becky). 

Remember when you contemplated introducing Mark as “a middle-aged prick who was lefty by his cruel raced ex-wife”? Wasn’t that kind of racist of your Bridget? Not so different from your mother? Here are a few traits:

Becky can be oblivious to her surroundings (and the feelings of others less advantaged than she).

She usually gets away with trouble due to her idealized Anglo looks.

Willfully naïve.

Conventionally feminine.

Often spoiled. 

She and her interests are basic and mainstream (sounds like milk tray, Colin Firth binge fests, shopping, numerous garden parties).

She is often cushioned against disappointment (in the 3rd film we were all supposed to be on your side while your bitchy boss fired you for very good reasons).

Unaware of other’s needs because she is so used to things going her way.

Her ignorance can be just as frustrating and harmful as a Karen’s maliciousness.

Becky is given real growth in fiction, to learn to be better. 

The thing is Bridget....where is your character development? It seems you hardly achieve much confidence, intellect, or maturity. In the 3rd film, I was shocked you were in your forties, I thought I was looking at a overgrown teenager. Perhaps you are a victim of Flanderization?

Karen and Becky

Now we look at how bad things could get if you don’t check your privilege soon enough Bridget, yes a lot of Beckys run the risk of becoming Karens. This is Mother-Daughter pair, Nancy (daughter) and Karen (Mother) Wheeler, I put them because of the connection but they don’t fit the stereotype (despite one of them having the name) but they are privileged white women talking about their shared experiences with misogyny. And most Beckys and Karens had to deal with misogyny, both outside and internalized, the issue being they don’t see how other people had to suffer due to prejudice.

Now Bridget, with your mother, you are a Becky while she was always a Karen. That is you are ignorant about your white privilege while your mother runs on casual racism, ignorance, and Tory politics. Ask her or Mark about the race riots, ask her  and Mark about Enoch Powell. And yes Julie Bindel, a fellow compatriot of yours, complained about the Karen label but honestly it’s scary about how some of your peers chortled over racist jokes or your mother’s antics but get up in arms when people of color in service jobs call ya’ll out. But there are some Karen traits you show already, you will weaponize your place in the pecking order to beat down on another woman, like with Perpetua and Mark’s first ex-wife. 

What does this say about you?

I will be the first to admit, I would’ve jumped up and cheered if I woke up in your body. You are conventionally prettier, but lately I recognized my own points and one of them is flair and the ability to read folks. Believe it or not Bridget, you are seen as a role model and a relatable figure to folks (and your last film ran on Millennial bashing, hating on younger women is not a good look). Maybe these Zoomer teens were on to something? Bridge, they will save us, we need to do the work. 

Now maybe you can take a cue from Dr. Rawlings on how to support and critique women Bridget? In the meantime, I think if I run into you, I’ll run if I see your mother. 

Not all is lost, I see you are a reader, maybe put down the self-help books and do some self-improvement by learning how to be a better white ally. I would like to read Hood Feminism (Mikki Kendall is a delight on Twitter). Meanwhile, if you do release a 4th movie in the future: don’t release it during a U.S. election year (I have had enough right wing presidents to last my teens and twenties).  

[polygamyff]

35. Part 4

Another day, another meeting I was hoping Reign didn’t wake up when I woke up at six and she didn’t. I just don’t feel up to dealing with her hyper self when I am feeling like this. I just want to get better, this pain will pass on my leg “your water sir” the waiter placed the glass down “thank you” I always do love my breakfast here in the morning, sets my day just right. Grabbing the pain killers from the side “morning” hearing Ally said “morning” placing the tablets in my mouth “we don’t have Reign today, she was fun at the meetings. The judgemental stares at the people” I smiled before I drank my water, Ally sat across from me “good to know you actually woke up and will be on time, I always know you will be on time when you’re sat here having breakfast at eight” placing the water down “let the waiter know if you want anything but I couldn’t really sleep, she didn’t wake up so I didn’t want to drag her around with me, it’s a little boring for her too. Also I need to concentrate on Wade, he is important, he holds everything I need you see. Thanks for staying behind and filling the paperwork out, I guess I need to make a trip to Tokyo?” I have been trying to stay away from it “you know it, you have no choice in that. I will schedule it so it don’t clash with your dad and the business turn over. Wade called me and he was really stressing, this meeting is important, this email is non-valid, I won’t accept it. I goes this is on Maurice not me but he will be here at nine, appointment at twelve with the estate. Also, I think Naomi will be there, seeing as you used her father for this” I grinned “am I shocked?” I am really not shocked “I am not in the mood, as you can see. I am in sweatpants and a top. But shall we go to the office, get things rolling. You don’t want food” Ally nodded her head, getting up from the chair “ah” I limped about to fall back on my chair but I gathered myself “woah, you good?” I limped a little straightening myself up “I am ok” putting my hand up “the painkillers will kick in, we good” I laughed “you need to relax yourself, stop hiding it. Let me get your laptop for you” she grabbed the bag, I am going to be limping myself all the way down “I need to request a walking stick don’t I?” I laughed “well I can make it happen? Call it pimp stick, shocked Robyn allowed you to work, you in pain I can get the doctor” shaking my head “I want Robyn to have a good time here, it’s fine” Ally let out an oh “if you say boss but if you get worse, I am calling!” Ally threatened me but I will be fine.

“So the next thing we need to speak on is your Will, now Maurice. I can’t accept this. This is fine, I mean you want Reign to get the business once you get the business on your name but Reign or Robyn can’t be the only ones, the reason why. Listen to me, if you was all to be at the same place and not be with us at the same time, then what? You know this business will go straight to the next brother, and I mean Malik, is that what you want?” shaking my head “so I can’t accept it, I need names. The next person after that” he is wanting me to make these kind of decisions right now “erm, if that does happen, Robyn, me and Reign not here then it’s Nalah, if not Nalah then Shawn” Wade froze staring at me “what?” he said, I am being dead ass “I don’t want Malik to have anything, neither my family. I don’t care for them, they can all die. If not Shawn then” I paused “Joy, my mother. If not that then Leon, Robyn’ friend” Wade sat back in his seat “right, wait. So we got Nalah after that, then Shawn. That is all I need, but Shawn? You want him to have the company and take over?” nodding my head “he will do a better job then any of them, he is my brother. I want you to make it known Malik gets nothing” placing my cigarette between my lips “ok, I will make sure that is known. Maurice with you having this business we need to keep up to date with the Will, things will become a mess if you was to pass” lighting my cigarette “I think you will get the divorce, I don’t think Noami has a case at all. I have been pestering them for updates, nothing” blowing the smoke out from my lips “good, it makes me think. Would it better if I was to marry Robyn quick, I just be thinking. I am ill, so you never know. If it will make it easier for her, you know” I am just thinking this “I would yes, go for it. How do you feel, your big day is coming?” Wade looked up from his laptop “like shit, not going to lie. It’s not easy, my dad aged a lot. It’s not easy” I laughed “really not” I want it but then I don’t because it’s just a headache.

I am not sure if Ally is walking slow on purpose for my benefit or because she is tired, I am walking slow. I need to go to my second meeting “you’re going now? Reign and I are just going to see some places while you go” watching Robyn walk over to me “I knew that, Jay is here” I pointed out “I will see you back here, be in time for the Moulin thing, you know what I mean. I should be back early actually. You over the sex thing?” I asked “mhmmm, I suppose. I felt lonely though and you took all of the bed covers” I did do that, I was nice and warm “mhmm, yeah and then you took them, I was cold and it woke me but it doesn’t matter I will see you soon” pressing a kiss to the top of Robyn’ head “you will, I love you” peaking into the stroller “it’s my princess, daddy misses you so much. I know, I know I didn’t get to see you this morning, but I will be back” Reign held my finger and then tried to yank it to her mouth “no, we don’t do that now. Sé una buena chica para mamá ahora, te veré más tarde” Reign’ smile grew “aww Mi Hermosa, you are thinking what the hell this nigga speaking on, I will teach you. Be good now” moving back from the stroller “call if you need anything ok? See you later” let me straighten myself up and walk off like a man, not a crippled man. Walking off towards Ally, she is waiting on me for this meeting.

Well would you look at that, Noami is here with my brother, it’s laughable and I don’t really care “it’s so pathetic” Ally mouthed to me “it is, it’s my real estate but she is saying I used the name, I used her contacts. She is clinging onto me” the developer walked over to me first “sir Davenport, welcome” I haven’t heard that before, sir Davenport “Steve” I said as I shook his hand “it’s good to see you again, it’s been so long but are you impressed with the development?” nodding my head “I am, it looks great. What are the sales figures looking like?” I hope it is well “well we are aiming for first time buyers, with you having this new initiative where you help them to buy it’s working a dream” nodding my head “just we are having this conflict with Noami and yourself which is stopping the development” looking over at Noami, waving her over “it’s a bitter divorce but I am going to win this” she is so cocky for no reason “you are holding onto something that is dead, you have that dickhead, he is clearly your lap dog. Look at him” I sniggered “what is it?” I just want to know “you are using my dad’ people” I groaned “Naomi! Your dad does not want to fucking know you, he hates you! Stop holding onto it, stop holding onto this, anything we had. You want to be close to me, it’s weird. This is my business, not yours. So what this is your dad’ workers, they will come to anyone with money. There is no we, this is mine. Once that divorce come through, we done. You have nothing now, just Malik. There is no we in this, this will be Robyn’ not yours. You was just there at that moment in time, I needed your contacts and now I have it so, what you want? Steve, never listen to this woman, she has no say in anything ok?” I understand he didn’t know what to do but he does now “you want me to have nothing?” Noami said, she sounds hurt “I tried, you did this. I tried” turning around “speak to my lawyer now, and hurry up with the divorce” walking off towards Ally “shall we go inside?” Steve said, we might as well.

Resting my head against the headrest sighing out “tired?” Ally said “I am, but good news don’t you think? I wanted to give back, my dad didn’t do that. He was selfish in his prime, I don’t want that. I want people to remember Maurice Davenport was a giving man. Doing what I did for the people buying house for the first time, I made the best choice. I think it’s good to give back and give the young a steppingstone and I thank Robyn for that. She opened my heart to this; she gave me that because at first the estate was never that, but I realised how blessed I am, and I should help others” I grinned to myself “am I doing well?” I asked “you are, it’s a good change and I am happy to see it for you. You was awful and you was killing yourself in the process, I am happy for you” she ain’t wrong, I am shocked that I am still around.

It’s always a pleasure hearing Nalah’ voice, she can be posh as fuck or loud as fuck and ghetto with it. She has come to my suite in the mood to be loud as fuck, I wanted to rest a little but my sister is here “Shawn? You here too?” I said, I didn’t think he would be here when Robyn asked Nalah to babysit “well you called and then I saw Nalah” letting out an oh, hugging Shawn “you good? I ain’t heard you in a while, the ladies in your life keeping you busy? Hey Robyn” sitting down on the couch, I groaned out feeling the dull pain “hey Shawn, I will be in my room with Nalah” nodding my head as I shuffled back on the couch “I am good, just busy. My mind is just everywhere, I have so much going on” rubbing my chin “I feel you, you look a little pale. I mean you are pale but you look it even more” shaking my head “my leg is in pain, I am having pain killers so that should hopefully keep it at bay but it hurts a lot” Shawn looked at me in sadness “get stronger painkillers bro?” I chuckled “I can’t, with being an ex-drug addicted he don’t want to give me something I can get addicted too but this shit ain’t working, I will see my doctor once Robyn goes back home. I can’t ruin her time here” Shawn groaned out “you’re having a crisis; you are stressing yourself out. You about to kill yourself with this, this is what scared me before. Hiding the fact, you are too, tell her. You got to tell, or I will, even Nalah will” why can’t people just relax, they start panicking over it “don’t be so dramatic, I have my medication, it will be fine. I know when I get bad, I am speaking to you because you’re my brother but please don’t make me not want to speak to you” I will just never tell him anything again, if he is going to do that to me.

Holding the dresses up “do I go slutty or subtle?” holding them up in front of Nalah “slutty all the way” Nalah chose right “good, because then I can hopefully get some dick” walking back into the bathroom, I know I am being dramatic but I will be going back without it “chile, you not getting anything? Is my brother being selfish” rolling my eyes “you mean New York’ biggest flirt known, that man is a walking, talking flirt. He could flirt his way through anything, and it really annoys me so much. Then he has the nerve to be like Robyn it was nothing, negro it was something. You made it into something when you started speaking, why does he do that!” I ranted on “a man stuck in his ways Robyn, but I don’t think he’s that bad. He is just used to being that way, he means no harm and he is totally in love with you. I see the difference. Maybe you dressing slutty will get you lucky tonight, you want me to take Reign with me to my apartment” walking back out of the hotel “you have an apartment?” I questioned, Nalah giggled “uhm, yeah. I do, well yeah” she shrugged, furrowing my eyebrows “you do, or you don’t?” that is weird “I do” she is giggling “but what is funny?” I am confused “it’s not mine, that is why” letting out an oh “you can just stay here” I don’t want to burden whoever she is with, Nalah took in a deep breath “it’s Shawn’” she finally spoke, letting an oh “that is fine, I don’t mind that” they both can share the babysitting “I am staying there you see” Shawn’ sweet for allowing her to be there “for free too?” I questioned “not exactly, a blowjob a day keeps the fees away” I froze staring at Nalah “pardon?” I didn’t hear that “me and Shawn have been, you know” I gasped “what!?” I screamed out, Nalah shushed me “don’t, Maurice doesn’t know. Shawn wants to keep it quiet, he thinks Maurice will care but I don’t think he will but then again, he knows Maurice differently but yeah” Nalah clapped her hands “I am so happy, like I am very happy” I cooed out “not even going to lie but I have seen the happiness in you, it was different to see, oh my god. You two really fucking, oh my! This is good, you’re happy” I am in shock about these two and Maurice does not know.

I am still shook about this Shawn and Nalah business “I need to ask, I can’t shake it off” holding my heels in my hands “what makes you think Maurice wouldn’t understand this? Like, it’s not a good thing? He knows Shawn, I am sure Shawn wouldn’t do something stupid, and also aren’t you slightly taller than him?” Nalah snorted laughing “well…” she dragged “I tend to not wear heels on nights out but I am not sure, I don’t care if he likes it or not but Shawn, he has the issue. He thinks it will ruin his brotherhood with Maurice, and I questioned him, he goes you don’t get it. Maybe I don’t but we can’t keep it a secret for so long, I am sick of hiding. I mean we have literally been walking in together and Maurice doesn’t see it, he is so simple but I also think it’s because he is busy. Maurice’ mind is elsewhere. My dad, I swear he is such an ass at times but then he always has a reason on why he is, like not turning up to meetings. I called him yesterday, I said oh you are in New York, he said no I went back to Texas and I goes this is like a big thing for him and you’re ditching him. He goes how else is he going to learn, I feel he thinks Maurice is going to do something dumb to upset the family, which he is. I mean Maurice has been after the family for a while, this is his chance and I see it becoming a mess. But yeah, his mind is elsewhere so he is not worried about me but then also don’t want to pop that up too, oh by the way I am fucking your long-time friend or brother. You know what, he got a big dick” waving Nalah off “don’t tell me these things” I can’t even deal “he makes up for it in bed, we both getting old as fuck, well I am anyways and I goes look Shawn. I need a child, if you ain’t up for that then leave me alone, he said once the air is cleared why not but also, not sure how my family will feel about this. He is like family to us” Nalah is crazy “well that shipped sailed a long time ago now, he ain’t family. He is your man, but like all these years? You both could have got it together then” I mean they have missed all those years “I was in a bad place, I couldn’t. I was a mess within myself, there was so much happening in my life and family that I just didn’t see it. I feel like since Maurice has settled so has Shawn, whatever Maurice goes through he does too, he was having a shit marriage so was Shawn having a shit time. I feel like I didn’t get to know Shawn because he is caring for Maurice” she is right, Shawn needed Maurice to settle “that is a friendship” I mumbled, I envy them for having such a bond.

I am ready to go out, I mean I been ready but Nalah got me so caught up in her talk “you both took long” Shawn said, I can’t keep a straight face and this is on her “he is asleep?” I pointed at Maurice, he lifted his head forward “I am awake” Maurice sat up “you look beautiful, Reign fell asleep on me too” I can tell she did, they both lazy as shit “dad not letting you sleep, he going to stress you until it’s gone to you” Nalah touched the top of Maurice head “he ain’t stressing me, I am good. You coming Tokyo with me, next thing” Nalah’ eyes near bulged out “am I? Since when?” I laughed, I laughed because she wants to be with her man “since I said so, if you don’t want to be in the fucking business then say it, I don’t have time for bullshit” Maurice snapped “Maurice” I said, what is wrong with him “it’s a long day, ain’t it nigga” Shawn patted his shoulder “nothing wrong with me, just shit is annoying, I don’t need you to pat my damn shoulder. Just take Reign from me” if he is in a bad mood maybe we can cancel “it’s ok, I can take Reign” I said while walking over to Maurice “what is wrong with you, that was so unnecessary” placing Reign over my shoulder and walked off with Reign in my arms “I just woke up ok, I am getting changed” so he says but he didn’t need to switch up on Nalah, I understand why he doesn’t want to say.

[rosaxlunar]

❝  SOY UNA NENA MALA, PERO LO HAGO BIEN ❞

&&. ( rosalia fuentes ) was just spotted in amsterdam. rumor has it ( she/her ) is/are a ( 390 / appears 29 ) year old ( fallen angel ) who resembles ( melissa barrera ). ( she ) has/have been said to be ( passionate & affectionate ) but also quite ( manipulative & devious ).with all the chaos surrounding the magical underworld, ( she ) has/have chosen to align with ( the fallen angels ). ( she ) is/are currently serving as ( a dancer at the inferno ). hopefully the city doesn’t devour them whole.

001 ✟ THE BASICS

NAME: Rosalia Fuentes AGE: Three Hundred Ninety / Appears Twenty Nine DOB: June 6h - Gemini GENDER: Cis Female SEXUALITY: Bisexual  SPECIES: Fallen Angel  ALLEGIANCE: Fallen Angels  THEME SONG: Hotter Than Hell - Dua Lipa PERSONALITY TRAITS: ( + ) Passionate, Affectionate, Intelligent & Silly ( - ) Manipulative, Devious, Impulsive & Shallow 

002 ✟ IN DEPTH

Paradise was supposed to be home. It’s heaven, it was so sought after, so perfect, pristine and immaculate  -so much so that people were dying to get in- why then she always wondered, was it so damn suffocating? Why did it feel like she had heavy chains wrapped around her wrists and ankles, holding her down, holding her captive? Why did the shimmering white wings on her back feel like such a burden? Like a weight she could not release, even when she completed all the tasks given to her by the higher order?  Rosalia Fuentes was born an angel of the light, but she never felt right in her skin. Blasphemous thoughts would crowd her brain, and she knew deep down in her soul, that she didn’t belong in heaven. Raised by a guardian angel of a mother - who looked after her assigned human more than her own child- and a warrior angel father, who was often out, executing the assignments mandated by God himself. Loneliness became Rosalia’s companion. It settled itself deep inside her, and as they years flew by, it spread, leaving behind a coldness that left her feeling empty. 

Even at a young age, Rosalia never understood the appeal of humans. What made them so special? What was it about them, that they managed to steal the attention she so desperately craved from her very own mother? What exactly made them God’s favorite? And no one could ever dispute the fact that they were, for the angel’s sole existence was to protect them, to look after them, to serve them. Sometimes she couldn’t help but feel jealous. An emotion that was even uglier than the emptiness of loneliness, because jealousy burned. Rosalia was grateful however, grateful over the fact that it was easy for her to hide the horrid feelings and thoughts that were tormenting her. She was blessed with the face of fresh innocence and the lilting voice of a songbird. No one ever suspected how miserable she really was, no one ever got that her helpfulness was often a product of habit and not a genuine need to help. The mask of perfection she carried was flawless and only improved with every year that passed by. 

There was however, a small period of respite, that quickly became her very own form of salvation. It happened when she started training in heaven. Meeting and befriending Adonis Deerling was a happy accident, but one she never came to regret. For whenever she was in his presence, the constant feeling of jealousy and loneliness disappeared. He was hers. Her companion, her training partner...her best friend. There was finally a purpose to her days when she rose, to make him happy, to lift the sadness that clung to him like a second skin. She learned that she loved to be tactile around him, often initiating deep long hugs and cuddle sessions. Rosalia often looked forward to the quiet moments after they had completed a mission, where she would she would offer her lap for him to lay his head and rest, rest from whatever they had just endured, or rest from whatever worries haunted him. She loved to run her fingers through his silky soft hair, and trace away the wrinkles in his forehead. She would tell him stories, or sing to him, whichever felt right for that moment until he was sleeping, safe in the knowledge that she would protect him. These were the moments she treasured, these were the moments that brought her bliss. 

There was a safety in his presence, she was able to drop her facade of perfection more and more as their time together went on. He never judged her for it. Simply guided her back on track, helped her do the right thing. That safety backfired however, as her feelings of discontentment and disillusions with heaven grew, it became impossible for her to hide how she was feeling from Adonis. He knew her too well, knew her lies from her truth. And there was a greediness in her heart that had not existed before, because she didn’t want to just be partners with Adonis, she wanted to be his lover, his muse...she wanted to be his. She wanted more than what he was willing to give, and it crushed her. She knew he cared...but did he care enough? Did he actually love her? She was too much of a coward to find out.

The day that changed her life was the day that she met Luca D’ Amore. It’s like he took one look at her and he could tell that she was a fraud, that her fight for the light was nothing but a facade. Luca promised liberation, freedom from the invisible shackles that have followed her since day one. He gave her hope that the emptiness within her would finally be filled. That the wrongness could be fixed, since she would no longer be living a lie... and in that moment, she didn’t think twice when the demonic blood was offered to her. Rosalia caved to her impulse, her selfishness blinding her from the truth of what she was giving up, the little slice of bliss that was entirely hers. Adonis wasn’t on her mind until it was too late. And she fell, half sobbing from the heartache of leaving him and half laughing at the utter glee of breaking the shackles that held on to her. The conflicting emotions battling it out, making her seem like a mad woman, all the whole her shimmering white wings were changing, no longer glistening and pure.  Now they were varying shades of grey and black. She was free from her duties.....she was fallen.

003 ✟ FUN FACTS

Ever since falling, Rosalia is impulsive and wild to the max. Partying, booze, drugs, sex, adventure. She seeks it all. Anything to be the complete opposite of who she was in heaven.

She’s only been a fallen angel for 90 years.

Rosalia still carries a cross necklace around her neck, she usually keeps it hidden, and it’s not because any part of her believes in the ways of the light, but its her last remaining connection to Adonis and she could never part with it. Ever. Should anyone ever see it and question why she wears it. Her sure fire response is “It’s always more fun to do debauchery with it on, I just know it pisses of my parents and that’s enough for me to keep it on.”

Rosalia is a mega crybaby, not because she’s always in tune with her feelings but because she quickly realized that her turning on the waterworks was the quickest way to get what she wants from people (mostly men). Sometimes a sniffle here and there with her large eyes and pouting lips is enough too. It works like a charm.

Rosalia has many friends and people she hangs out with, but she never lets them in, it wasn’t long after falling that she realized she could never had the kind of connection with anyone, the way she did with Adonis. It haunts her often, the knowledge that she left him alone. 

Dancing, singing and sex. Her favorite hobbies, and not exactly in that order. It’s why working at the Inferno is perfect for her. She isn’t the most sought after dancer but that’s ok with her, it leaves her with more time to mess with humans and spoil their chances of entering the pearly gates. 

004 ✟ WANTED CONNECTIONS

open to anything my babes! hit me up in the dms! (discord or tumblr!)

fuck buddies

drinking buddies

clients

ex friends from her angel life

[starberry-cupcake]

expanding on my own tags, I would think the entire kablam show was a fever dream if there wasn’t internet evidence that it existed, here are some random memories I have, from the top of my head, of some of the segments I got to see:

the hosts were henry and june, two animated kids who sometimes interacted with a Sasquatch and dressed in cool 90s fashion

sniz and fondue had an episode where fondue designed jeans for sniz because he was short and fat and all the xl jeans were too long and he made a ton of money out of them because it’s a logical thing and kid me was like “I wish that were me, having jeans for my short fat self”, to this day nobody follows fondue’s example in rl fashion design

action league now was the best segment and I remember all their intros in Spanish (”Flesh, es super fuerte y super desnudo...Thundergirl, vuela como un trueno...Stinky Diver, un ex comando de la armada con una actitud tan desagradable como su olor...y Melt Man con el poder de...derretirse”)

life with loopy had an episode in which a bull worked in a glass shop and I understood why the saying made sense, also they watched a show called charlie chicken and turkey thompson

prometheus and bob were probably gay

the off beats were fucking great, I wanted to be friends with them, I will never forget their clear depiction of the popular kids all waking in a group together, I also remember the statistics episode in which they chose to use head gear instead of letting one of them be alone because statistics said that one of every group would have something fall on their head

angela anaconda was super weird and then it became a whole show but the original kablam one was even more bizarre than the resulting show and she looked even more strange

race rabbit was an actual rabbit who drove a car and competed in races

patchhead was a real kid with a watermelon in his head and I never understood it, probably because of references I didn’t understand as a latin american kid

jetcat was a girl superhero and she looked really cool

[beencaughts]

“You’re overthinking– I’m yours. That’s all I want to be.”, “I’m glad you were here with me.” Andddd “Can you keep holding my hand please?” 😭😭

“You’re overthinking– I’m yours. That’s all I want to be.”

⊰ v. princess and the moon ⊱

One of the consequences Luna hadn’t considered when deciding if she and Prince should go public or not was the few girls that would hate on her for it. He was undeniably attractive. She’d even go as far as to say he was the most attractive man she’d seen in her life. Still, when the words coming out of his beautiful mouth were nothing but short, curt insults and intimidation tactics to everyone he spoke to, Luna didn’t quite understand how the average girl could find him appealing enough to be a bitch to anyone who slept with him after. The main culprit being Stacey, of course. Luna was convinced that she was the reason why anyone else was being unnecessarily rude, but perhaps it was something she tried to tell herself instead of believing girls could be this petty over a guy on their own accord. What was worse was that Luna was in the presence of Stacey more often than she liked because Cass was friends with both of them. She sucked it up for the sake of her best friend, but she was not happy to be having a chinwag with the girl in the corridors. At least it was only ten minutes before her class with Prince and Matt. She wouldn’t have to deal with it long. With a fake smile on her lips, Luna tried to be semi-engaged in the conversation despite their thick accents giving her a headache as she performed the mental gymnastics to keep up. It was even harder when Stacey began to speak, telling a joke that completely went over Luna’s head. “What does that mean?” Luna asked with confusion written across her face. Stacey laughed condescendingly. “I forgot English isn’t your first language. You have to excuse me.” Luna rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry. I can still understand cunt when I hear it.” The words had come out of Luna’s mouth without any thought. Now that she had time to think about it with everyone gasping and looking at her, she didn’t regret saying it. Luna tried to bite her tongue most times for the sake of Cass, but Stacey didn’t seem to have that same courtesy for her. Luna could just apologize to Cass later. People started to inch closer to them now. Great, more people to hear Luna call Stacey out on her shit. “You know, I don’t understand this vendetta you have against me. Is it because you were so replaceable Cass started hanging out with me more the moment she realized how boring you really are, or is it because I’m shagging the guy that finds you abhorrent no matter how much you throw yourself at him?” Luna wished she cared about the tears in Stacey’s eyes or how embarrassed she must’ve felt with everyone around them knowing Luna had been branded the much better version of her by the people they knew, but she didn’t, and she couldn’t care when she noticed Stacey’s hand coming towards her face. Luna attempted to dodge her, but Stacey’s nail still managed to graze her cheek, scratching Luna’s face. Luna’s fingers ghosted over the scratch, and when she pulled her hand away, her fingertips were covered in blood. “I hope that was worth it,” Luna chuckled, her fist immediately making contact with Stacey’s nose, a cracking sound filling the hallway. Luna thought about leaving it there, but she’d only allowed Stacey to fix her ugly nose, anyway. She needed to learn. Luna kicked her in her knees, sending Stacey to the floor before she took her own knee and drove it into her face. Luna got a kick out of how surprised everyone seemed to be, including the girl on the ground clutching her face. Luna was quiet, but she was a force to be reckoned with. It was about time they realized it. “A próxima vez que te metas conmigo, estarás consiguiendo mucho más que una visita a tu cirujano. Did you understand that?” She spat, not sparing anyone a glance as she pushed her way through the crowd to get to her class. She still had 2 minutes to get there. 

Luna walked through the door as soon as the bell rang. For a moment, she was confused about why everyone looked shocked, confused, or disturbed until she looked down at herself and realized not only was her white shirt covered in blood, but so was the leg she used to kick Stacey in the face. She took her seat next to Prince and in front of Matt. “Jesus, Luna! What happened to you?” Matthew chimed up immediately. She could only laugh. “Not my blood, but if you think I look bad, you should see the red-headed whore.” Luna didn’t leave them time to take in what she was saying as she immediately turned to Prince. “Someone is surely about to come to find me, so I’d appreciate it after I get my head chewed off, I find you in your car waiting for me.” And right on queue, the Dean came marching into the room and looking for her. Waving goodbye to her friends, Luna followed him. She hated having to pretend she was saddened by the whole ordeal — pretending she cared even a little about Stacey’s tormenting, crying that Stacey hit her first — but it was what she had to do. Luna wanted to kick her ass and still attend the school to be the smartest one there. Her suspension was inevitable. After a torturous 30 minutes of it all, Luna couldn’t help the smile on her face when she skipped out of the building and saw Prince standing against his car, waiting for her. At that moment, she could definitively say he was the most attractive man on this planet. Her adrenaline had her eagerly wrapping her arms around his waist and standing on the tip of her toes to kiss him. Luna didn’t bother trying to explain what happened because, at this point, he already knew. Maybe he’d even seen a video of it. Her assumption was basically confirmed when his hand cupped the left side of her face, his thumb lightly brushing over the scratch on her face. She found it cute he was worried about her. “It’s not that deep. It won’t even scar,” the Spaniard assured him. However, the frown forming on her face revealed far more profound issues than if she was going to have a scar on her face. Luna just couldn’t accept the fact that Stacey would risk getting her face bashed in over a guy. Sure, there were other issues like Cass, but it was glaringly obvious Prince was the biggest one. Luna wouldn’t even act like that over any of her exes, and she actually dated them. She didn’t know if she should vocalize her thoughts, but when Prince asked her what was wrong, she sighed before telling him. “I don’t know, Prince. That’s not the behavior of a girl you fucked a couple times, and that’s it. It’s not like we’re dating or anything, so I won’t be upset, but is there something else I should know about? Because it would’ve been nice to know before I had to punch her in the face.” But Luna had become too easy to read around Prince. Her mouth was saying she wouldn’t care, but her awkward chuckle and nervous lip bite told him the complete opposite. “You’re overthinking — I’m yours. That’s all I want to be.” Luna was surprised by Prince’s confession, but it made her smile nonetheless. “Well, then, I’m yours for the next 72 hours since I’ve been officially suspended. I say we take full advantage of this gift your whore has given us.” Maybe if Stacey gave Luna more opportunities like this, she’d actually start to like her. 

⊰ v. no reason ⊱

The entire car ride to Iola’s home was silent. Jason tried to make conversation with her, but the responses she would give were short and unenthusiastic, leaving him to halt his attempts to get her to talk. The thoughts of their waitress flirting with her boyfriend the whole night swarmed her mind. Whenever she came to the table, she addressed Jason first. She was always smiling and giggling as she talked to him, attempting small talk a few times before she turned to Iola, whom she was curt with. Maybe it was her insecurity talking, but Iola always worried that she looked too young and naive for Jason, and the waitress tonight had not eased any of those worries. It was a classic “who needs this little girl when you could have a real women” move, and Iola knew she wasn’t making it all up in her head. She was surprised that the waitress didn’t try to slip her number to him on the receipt with how obvious she was being. And perhaps Iola shouldn’t have been taking it out on Jason since he seemed oblivious the whole time, but Iola was always bad at properly working through her emotions before she acted. Iola reached for the door handle without sparing him a glance once they parked in front of her home, but Jason pulled her back before she could get out. The worry in his face as he asked her what was bothering her instantly softened her demeanor. She hated how even when she was meant to be angry at him, he could still get her to lighten up without doing anything at all. “The waitress was flirting with you the whole night! It was like I wasn’t even there,” she pouted. “And you didn’t even notice. You could’ve told her to stop or something. Did you tip her? I hope you didn’t tip her,” Iola rambled, her anger resurfacing at the thought of the waitress not only getting away with flirting with her boyfriend but also getting a tip while doing it. She was brought back to the present, though, when Jason gently grabbed her hand. “You’re overthinking, Iola. I’m yours. That’s all I want to be.” And deep down, Iola was willing to admit that he was right. Maybe she was overthinking the whole situation. He couldn’t help it if other girls flirted with him, and she shouldn’t have been taking it out on him when they did, but Iola was a jealous girl. She was possessive. That, coupled with her insecurity about their age difference, didn’t make for a rational, non-overthinking version of herself, but of course, he knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. Leaning in to kiss him softly, Iola pulled away with a smile. “Good because I’m sure you can tell I’m not very good at sharing.”

⊰ v. july 17th ⊱

July 16th, Arianna had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming that she was waking up next to Zayn Malik, and on July 17th, she had to do it again to make sure he was actually asking her to be his girlfriend. Never in a million years did Ari ever think he would pick her. Despite all of their late nights and flirting with the occasional hookup, she was never confident that he would see their relationship moving beyond that. Sometimes she didn’t even think she saw it moving beyond that. Zayn was a player in the house, notorious for it even. He had so many options, and Arianna never thought she was any competition for any of them, especially when the top contenders were Ariana and Harry. And Ari had her own reputation in the house that held up against his. She was practically the female version of her boyfriend. They both slept around, and they were both unfaithful in serious relationships. All of this added into Arianna’s constant state of insecurity. Every day for the past two weeks, she felt herself get angry and jealous when he spoke to anyone that wasn’t her. She tried to trust that he could be faithful, but with his track record and warning that he’d never been able to stay committed, she was losing her mind. Arianna had spent the day in bed watching Grey’s Anatomy to take her mind off of it. It provided a good distraction until she got to the episode where George cheats on his wife with his best friend. So much for a distraction. Slamming her laptop closed, Arianna threw her blankets off of her in favor of searching for her boyfriend. She hadn’t seen him all day, and maybe hanging out with him would ease her worries. Zayn was a sweet talker. He always knew what to say to make her feel better. The house was quiet, which was something of a rarity for them. She searched all of the main areas of the house — the living room, theater, kitchen, pool — with no sign of Zayn anywhere. She was ready to give up on finding him until she remembered the place they’d go to get away from everyone: the roof terrace. Arianna crept up the stairs, fully expecting not to find him here either, but as soon as she opened the door, she found her boyfriend chatting and laughing with Harry. There had to be a reasonable explanation for them to be out there alone. They were in the same band and had to learn how to work together without their personal feelings getting in the way. Maybe that’s what they were talking about. It had to be. Arianna took a step back to quietly make her exit, but in typical Arianna fashion, her foot slipped down to the next step, causing her to lose her balance and fall down the stairs. It hurt like hell, but she hit the bottom of the stairs with all of her bones intact. Although she might’ve preferred that over Zayn and Harry rushing to her aid, giving it away that she’d been eavesdropping. “I’m fine, guys, really,” she attempted to assure them until her boyfriend pointed out that her forehead was bleeding. He helped her off the floor before dragging her to the nearest bathroom with a first-aid kit. Ari felt something like a kid being scolded, and Zayn hadn’t even said a word to her. He just moved around silently, torturing her. She’d actually prefer him scolding her than the silence. Arianna winced as Zayn tended to the wound on her forehead. “You don’t have to do this, okay. This was my karma for eavesdropping. I accept my punishment.” She attempted to get up and leave, but he just pushed her back down. Ari was convinced he was getting a kick out of how embarrassed she was at this point. Her point was proven further when he broke his silence to ask her why she was up there in the first place. He definitely wanted to see her grovel. “I was driving myself mad thinking about you with other people, so I went looking for you because you always know how to make me feel better. Except when I found you, it didn’t help at all. Might’ve even gotten worse,” Ari sheepishly admitted. He dropped the bandage in his hand to cup her face. “You’re overthinking — I’m yours. That’s all I want to be.” Arianna smiled softly at him. He was right. She was overthinking. His history definitely prevented her from fully believing him, but it was sufficient enough to make her feel better. Leaning in, she pecked his lips. “When we’re done here, you mind proving that?”

⊰ v. katie and leo ⊱

University was never a thought that crossed Leo’s mind. Despite all of the fairs his school hosted, letters and emails encouraging him to apply to schools and even lectures from his mom, Leo was never compelled to succumb to the pressure. His dad didn’t go to uni, and he turned out fine. In fact, his dad was one of the main reasons he was never interested in going to uni in the first place. Leo was artistically inclined like his parents. Whenever he was meant to be solving equations or taking notes, he would be drawing pictures in the margins of his notebook instead, specifically what he wouldn’t hate to have tattooed on him. Leo’s interest came from the many, many tattoos his father had. He didn’t understand why his dad never took it more seriously, but Leo was more than willing to let him live vicariously through him because it’s what he wanted to do instead of waste time at school. The downside, however, was that all of his friends did go to school and away from London. He’d have loved being roommates with Katie, Eli, and Ava. He did get a taste of what it would’ve been like when he decided to visit them. Leo had arrived at their campus a bit earlier than usual, so he had to meet up with his cousins outside of their class. He got a bit lost on the way, but he found his way eventually. Ava bounced out of the room, engulfing Leo in a big hug before apologizing that she wouldn’t be able to see him again until later that night. Eli rolled his eyes at his sister. “Which professor is it tonight? The married one or the married one with kids?” Ava was visibly annoyed her brother had mentioned that in front of Leo, but she answered the question anyway. “Neither, you twat. It’s a guy in one of my classes.” Eli mumbled something about the guy at least being her age as she walked away. She wasn’t up for much more interrogation about her sex life from her brother in front of their cousin. Leo started laughing. If this was what he was missing by not going to university, he almost wanted to apply for next semester. He was laughing so much his side began to hurt, which only annoyed Eli further. “Laugh all you want. Your dating life doesn’t seem to be going any better.” And that was sort of true. Since graduation, Leo hadn’t focused on going with girls anymore. He had to put in the effort to meet them since he wasn’t surrounded by the same ones every day. It seemed pointless now. Besides, there was a much more important girl in his life. “It doesn’t need to be going better because I have Katie,” Leo reminded him. Now it was Eli’s turn to laugh. “What makes you think Katie is going to want an aspiring tattoo artist over the aspiring lawyer, engineer, doctor, or potential millionaire like that guy she’s talking to right now.” Leo’s head snapped in the direction Eli pointed to, frowning. Leo knew his cousin was trying to start drama, but there was no ignoring the tinge of jealousy he felt watching Katie joke around with someone else. He never questioned his decision to not go to school until right now. Eli knew just what to say to make Leo question everything, and that’s what Leo hated the most about him. He’d only been at their school for an hour, and he was already regretting not applying out of jealousy. The corners of Leo’s lips lifted into a smile once Katie finally looked over and saw him. She seemed to have rushed the end of her conversation in favor of rushing over and engulfing him in a hug. Leo buried his face in the crook of her neck as he lifted her off the ground. They were both smiling, giggling messes. Leo missed his cousins, but it was always Katie he found himself visiting for. She was who he missed the most when he was home. Eli rolled his eyes at the two of them and mumbled something about getting a room before raising his voice to urge them to come on. “Why’re you so grumpy today? I know the perfect solution, but it might require you to not be a virgin anymore,” Leo teased his cousin, setting Katie back down on her feet. He laughed as Katie smacked him on the arm, and Eli stormed off ahead of them. Leo didn’t really care — Eli deserved it. Leo spent the entire walk over to their place, trying to cheer him up, but Eli just kept on reminding Leo about what he said earlier, keeping up his sour mood. Leo and Katie decided to leave Eli alone for the rest of the day and head up to her room. Not that Leo was going to complain about that. He sat down at the edge of her bed as he watched Katie move around the room. Leo found himself thinking about how amazing she was. She didn’t have to do anything special for him to be completely in awe of her. Leo couldn’t imagine not ever having her in his life. “You wouldn’t leave me for some rich prick, would you?” He blurted. Leave him didn’t sound like the right verb to describe their current situation, but they were the best choice of words his brain could come up with. They weren’t together. All Leo and Katie had was a promise. Up until today, that was a promise Leo felt secure about. They weren’t contractually bound to be together after they were done having fun with other people. And if Leo learned anything from Jake and Katie it was that anything could happen to change their relationship. Meeting someone better than him seemed like a possibility. His cheeks went red from how embarrassing he sounded. Leo couldn’t even make eye contact with Katie anymore, but he was forced when she took his face in between her hands.  “You’re overthinking — I’m yours. That’s all I want to be, Leo,” Katie assured him. Leo was still too embarrassed to say anything, so he opted to pull her down onto her bed to kiss her instead. He was hoping he could provide a good enough distraction for them to forget that he ever said anything. Leo wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Eli ever found out he got inside of his head again. 

“I’m glad you were here with me.”

⊰ v. princess and the moon ⊱

Luna stirred in her sleep as something pulled her from unconsciousness. Her body naturally cuddled itself into the arms wrapped her from behind, attempting to get back to sleep, but the lips gliding across her neck and shoulders kept her from doing so. Finally opening her eyes, Luna scanned the room in front of her. It’d been six months now, and she still wasn’t used to waking up in a bedroom that wasn’t hers or Prince’s. She missed his rather dark room as she struggled to adjust to the brightness of the room. Her eyes fluttered shut again while soft sighs slipped past her lips as he moved up to her ear, alerting him that she was awake now. He took that as his opportunity to cup her face and lean over her to bring their lips together, but Luna could hardly kiss him from smiling so much. “Prince,” she giggled against his mouth. “I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.” Luna loved waking up like this. It was how she woke up every morning. Either her or Prince would wake up feeling way too in love with the other and kiss each other awake. Though today, they weren’t lucky enough to have the whole morning together. Luna had just turned around in Prince’s arm to properly kiss him when his alarm began to ring. She threw her head back onto her pillow with a groan. He gave her an apologetic look before untangling himself from her, but she was still annoyed. Luna decided she was going to kill Ryan. She loved living in France with Prince, although Luna never thought she’d move for a second time. London was supposed to be it for her. That was where her life was meant to be, but her plans changed thanks to Ryan convincing Prince to move. At first, she was hesitant to leave everything she’d come to know and love, but Luna loved and wanted Prince way more than anything London could give her. That was still true. She could continue to go to school, work on her career, and still have Prince. She was closer to Cass too. Everything seemed to fall in place except her boyfriend’s schedule interrupting them from time to time. She watched as he disappeared into their bathroom with the sound of the shower running following shortly after. She wasn’t far behind, either. Luna padded into the room. Prince hadn’t noticed her presence, which allowed her to revel in the sight that was her boyfriend. He was so unbelievably beautiful. She almost had to pinch herself to believe he was real, but there was a much better option for that on the table. Her clothes joined his on the floor before she joined him in the shower. Luna ignored the burning from ridiculously hot water droplets streaming down her skin and threaded her fingers through his hair as she pulled him down to connect their lips. “You’re definitely going to be late for whatever this morning, but please don’t be late for your party tonight. I don’t like talking to people without you,” She mumbled into the space separating their lips before kissing him once again.

It was just past two in the morning. The chattering of all the people in her home and the music was being muffled by the safe confines of her room. Luna rechecked the time, shaking her head. These types of things didn’t usually have a starting time, but she thought it was fairly obvious anything past midnight was considered late. Maybe he hadn’t heard her because her boobs were out. Luna was annoyed, but she put her on her best smile to join the party. She hardly knew any of the people in their house, if any. She’d only met some of them in passing at other parties since Prince didn’t tend to bring work home. For that reason, Luna hadn’t made it a priority to remember any of them. Perhaps it was the same with her because many of them didn’t have a problem hitting on her as she pushed through the crowd in search of Prince. She found Ryan first, who was forced to the outskirts of the room, but she was still happy to see a familiar face. “Hey,” Luna greeted. “You wouldn’t happen to know if Prince is here, would you?” Ryan pretended to be deep in thought over her question, causing her to laugh. He finally revealed that he’d seen Prince downstairs over by the bar, but Ryan hadn’t let her get away without asking her why her boyfriend was late this morning. “There was more important business that needed to be handled,” she giggled with a wink. Luna couldn’t get down to Prince fast enough. Unlike this morning, Prince found her immediately and called out her name. Their eyes locked from across the room. He was leaning against the bar with a drink in his hand, gazing at her from over his glass as he drank. Many bodies were filtering through their line of vision, but it still felt like they were the only two in the room. She was absolutely enraptured by him. Luna could never get enough of Prince. Her eyes traveled up to the ceiling and returned to his in a second, the corner of her lips lifting into a smirk. This was reminiscent of a time they couldn’t be seen talking to each other, and they could only communicate through smiles and gestures. It was fun to go back to being their younger selves, even if it were only for a moment. Luna slowly ascended up the stairs, looking behind her every once in a while to make sure he was following behind her. “I thought I specifically told you not to be late this morning,” Luna chastised semi-jokingly as they entered their bedroom. Prince doesn’t say anything. Instead, he hums against her skin as he peppered kisses along her neck, positioning his hands on her waist. Luna relaxed into him as she looked out at the city in front of them.  All of this was nice —the big house, the fancy clothes, the nice cars, the fantastic views — but they were all extra, bonuses. Prince was what made her life so much better. He could’ve come here alone. The lifestyle was definitely better suited for a bachelor, but he didn’t, and they were both better off because of it. He seemed happier to be away from London, even if it came with the expense of leaving Matt and Panda. They were living together now. They woke up together, went to sleep together. Luna would follow Prince to ends of the earth if it meant her life would feel this perfect all the time. “I’m glad you were here with me,” He whispered into her neck as if he could read her mind. Luna smiled. “Well, I’m glad you brought me.”

“Can you keep holding my hand, please?”

⊰ v. princess and the moon ⊱

It’d been some time since Luna had somewhat reconciled with Prince after her months of being distant. There were attempts at getting back to how things were before she lost Cass and her dad. She stopped finding excuses to leave the room whenever he entered, gave him more hugs and kisses, actually cuddled with him at night. And although Luna was offering herself up physically these days, there was still a deep and sad wretchedness in her heart that didn’t allow her to get there emotionally or mentally. Cass was Luna’s person. Cass was the first, and sometimes the only, sense of home and family she had in London. Losing her was nearly as bad as when Luna lost her mom and losing her dad was a tragedy that spoke for itself. There were so many emotions she still had to sort through, but Luna needed a distraction from it all, so when Panda and Matt invited them out to some fancy party, she was more than happy to accept. Maybe if she pretended to be happy and have her life together, it would start to feel that way when she wasn’t all dressed up, but she was ahead of herself thinking she’d even be able to pretend. The party was beautiful. The room was dressed in purple and green lights, everyone dressed to the 9’s. There were so many disgustingly wealthy people Luna could’ve made connections with for her job, but the only thing she could focus on was Prince’s hand holding onto hers and how much she wished to let go. It seemed like a minor interaction, but for Luna and the irrational thoughts swirling in her mind, they told her otherwise. All she wanted to do was hide from the world, Prince included. “I know I invited you, but I still didn’t expect you to show up,” Matt chuckled as he approached them. Luna put on her best fake smile for their friend. “Why? Thought I’d be too sad to be social?” Matt laughed again, awkwardly this time, before admitting that was exactly why he didn’t expect them to attend. “I hope if I died, you lot wouldn’t think about having fun, but what do I know? I’m the one throwing the damn thing.” She didn’t respond, only shrugging her shoulders to allow Prince and Matt to talk to each other. Matt had a point, though. Should she be out right now? Shouldn’t she be at home properly sorting through her grief instead of a party? Luna lost her best friend and dad within a year of each other, and she was at a party. Both of her parents were dead, and she was at a party. Tears began pooling in her eyes as the guilt and sadness clawed its way through her chest. She started pulling her hand away, catching Prince’s attention. “Can you keep holding my hand, please?” He whispered to her with pleading eyes. Luna was more than aware of Prince being frustrated with her. This was her moment to prove to him that she was actually trying to move past this roadblock in their relationship. Holding his hand was such a simple request, and yet, she couldn’t. “I’m so sorry,” Luna whispered, dropping his hand before she pushed her way through the crowd to go out on the patio. The brick scratching her exposed back, along with the cool breeze, provided her moment of clarity. She was hurting, and no amount of time could pass that would change that. Whenever she thinks about her parents or Cass, she will always want to cry and hide. But Luna did know she had to start learning to live with the pain if there was any hope for herself and her family, and it needed to start by telling her husband how she was feeling. Luna didn’t have too long of a moment alone before he found her. She didn’t want to look at Prince for many reasons, but she forced herself to meet her husband’s eyes, sighing. “I’m trying, Prince, I really am, but emotionally, mentally, and physically, I just feel sad. There isn’t room for much else. I have to ignore it sometimes for our son and for my job, but for everything else, I can’t. I didn’t even have time to sort through things after my dad because I immediately had to turn around and be there for Cass. It’s a lot. I’m going through a lot right now, and I’m begging you to understand that.” Her voice wavered with every word as she attempted to not get emotional. It was scary to be telling him all of this, and she couldn’t even tell if he was receptive to it. Prince hadn’t been a dismissive ass about her feelings in a while, but if their argument a couple weeks ago told her anything, it was that he still could be. Stepping away from the wall, Luna slowly approached Prince, taking his hands into her smaller ones timidly. “You know that I love you, right? I love you so damn much. I couldn’t even begin to imagine my life if I didn’t have you. Even when I try to ignore everything I’ve lost for you, I can’t because then I start thinking about maybe one day I’ll have to learn to live without you too. That’s why I’ve pushed you away. I’ve lost so many people that I love more than anything: my mum, my dad, my best friend. Like, losing them makes me think that I’m meant to lose everyone that means something to me, and when I think like that, it makes me think I’m meant to lose you too. It’s so stupid —I know—to feel that way or to think like that, but I can’t help it. I pushed you away because I convinced myself the more I tried to hold onto you, the more likely I was to lose you, and I can’t lose you again.” She paused, taking another deep breath before continuing. “But Prince, you are my husband. I need you to be my husband. Hold my hand when I can’t hold yours, pick me when I can’t pick you because I will always come back to you, but I can’t do that if you’re not there waiting for me.” Luna expected some push back on the latter half of her rant to him, but she didn’t think she was wrong. Prince didn’t deserve a wife that couldn’t hold his hand, but she also didn’t deserve a husband who couldn’t be more understanding as to why. She wasn’t asking him to meet her in the middle. All Luna wanted was for him to give her the time, space, and support to get through one of the toughest times in her life even when it got tough for him too.

⊰ v. no reason ⊱

Iola thought telling Jason she was pregnant was the most challenging thing she had to do. Her fears of him leaving or not wanting a kid really frightened her. Now that he knew, she realized telling him should’ve been the least of her worries. The real concern was telling their families because aside from the fact Jason and Iola had the maturity level of children themselves, they weren’t married either. Marriage was a big deal in Iola’s family, and she wasn’t ready for whatever their response may be. She knew for a fact her brothers and sister wouldn’t let her live this down. Jason’s family, on the other hand, seemed like a more comfortable option. They were halfway across the globe, and if they had an adverse reaction, at least Jason and Iola wouldn’t have to see them until the baby was born. Iola just began her second trimester, so there was no better time to tell them than now. Iola shut her laptop before picking it up and carrying it into their bedroom where Jason was. He greeted her with a kiss as she climbed into bed with him, settling in her spot and turning to him with a smile. She opened her laptop once again with Facetime up and ready to go. He groaned. Jason already attempted to talk her out of telling his family a week ago, saying that they’ll be dicks about it somehow and that they’d definitely get a more positive reaction from her family. Iola postponed the call for his sake, but she was not changing her mind about this. She was the pregnant one, so she was making the rules. Intertwining their fingers together, Iola hushed him with another kiss. “It’ll be fine, babe. We’re having a baby. Who doesn’t like babies?” She ignored him using her words against her to avoid this phone call. Iola attempted to drop his hand, but Jason stopped her. “Can you keep holding my hand, please?” He asked with a pout on his lips, making her want to kiss it away. Iola nodded, giving Jason’s hand a reassuring squeeze, a smile on her face as her finger pressed the ‘call’ button next to his dad’s name. Iola’s nerves increased every ring the phone went unanswered. She had half a mind to end the call herself, but Jason’s dad’s face popped up on her computer screen before she had time to chicken out. Iola’s anxiety paralyzed her. She couldn’t say anything besides a shaky hello. Iola was pretty grateful when Jason took the lead in sharing the big news. Her only real engagement in the conversation was holding up the ultrasound to the camera to confirm Jason’s words. His dad didn’t look angry, which was a good sign. Iola felt herself start to relax; however, his dad began to list all the hard things about having a kid — the lack of sleep, the inability to do whatever they wanted, how expensive it is, and hardly having time for each other. Iola would’ve preferred the anger. Nothing he was saying was wrong, but it was what scared her the most about having a kid (besides the money, of course). Their lives were about to become drastically different, and hearing it out loud only made her feel more anxious. Iola didn’t tune in to the conversation much after that; she only spoke when spoken to. She was relieved when the call finally ended, but the dread in her stomach returned once she remembered they still had to tell Jason’s brother and sister. Their call with his siblings hadn’t gone any better than his dad. Maybe Iola even preferred his reaction because at least he hadn’t brought up her biggest insecurity about the whole situation — that they weren’t married. Iola was shocked to hear both of his siblings harp on about it. It made her wonder why Jason was so opposed to getting married so soon when his family seemed to think the same as she did. All of the anxiety, confusion, and shock made for a very emotional Iola. As soon as Jason ended their last phone call of the day, she burst into tears. Jason attempted to comfort her by pulling her close, but Iola pushed him away. “No! Your family hates me. They think I’m a harlot who’s going to be a bad mom and carrying your bastard child, and it’s all your fault!” She was going to blame her outburst on all the pregnancy hormones. He did warn her about telling his family first, but that didn’t mean their comments hurt any less. Jason took her face in his hands in an attempt to calm her down, giving her the same spiel about how his family was generally horrible and that they only said those things to upset her. Iola nodded and let him bring her face closer to kiss her. Suddenly, she wasn’t all that sad anymore. Iola had to learn how to stop comparing her life to how it ‘should’ be. Things weren’t going according to her plan, but that didn’t mean she was worse off for it. She was lucky to have Jason around. He was so patient with her despite her attitudes and outburst. There was no need to focus on what his family thought about their situation. All she wanted to show Jason how much she appreciated him, which she was also going to blame on the hormones.

⊰ v. princess and the moon ⊱ a meme that totally doesn’t belong here but you’re getting it anyway

Luna’s transition from Barcelona to London had gone a lot smoother than she expected. She didn’t expect to make one friend, but now she kind of had two, and it was only her third week. Cassandra was like her best friend. They clicked immediately and now every time Luna walked into school, her first instinct was to go find her. Then there was Matthew. She hadn’t had much of a real conversation with him, but she always seemed to bump into him once a day. Usually, he’d use the word ‘fit’, but Cass warned her he did that with all the girls. Luna still appreciated his effort to speak to her even if she wasn’t completely sure what he was talking about. Today, she hadn’t seen much of either of them. Luna was making her way to the cafeteria, mumbling to herself when she heard someone speaking to her. “Why are you talking to yourself?” Cass asked as she joined her. Luna laughed at Cass before explaining she wasn’t talking to herself. There were words in English Luna found very hard to pronounce, so every day she would go through the list of words in her head and repeat them to herself. She didn’t want to sound like an idiot for pronouncing ‘eyes’ as ‘ass’ in front of everyone. They hadn’t made it very far before they ended up running into Matthew too. He’d been talking to some guy she’d never seen before when he decided to join her and Cass on their way.  “I think we’re headed off to the same place, aren’t we? I think you lot should join me today. I’m sure the boys would love to see you, Cass, and meet your gorgeous new mate.” And Matthew was not taking no for an answer. He wrapped his arms around both of their shoulders and tugged them along to the cafeteria. Luna’s cheeks turned light pink once she realized ‘the boys’ included the handsome one she caught staring at her last week. She was hoping he didn’t think she had anything going on with Matthew. “Christmas has come early this year because look at the gifts I’ve brought you, lads.” Matt dropped his arm from around Cass to rest a hand on — who she remembered as — Nick’s shoulder. “Cass knows everyone, but Luna, this is Nick,” Matt announced. “I don’t have much to say about him except that he’s fucking ace.” Luna nodded, not really saying much. They’d met before. She actually found him to be quite obnoxious, so she wasn’t keen on having a conversation with him. Besides, there was someone she was much more interested in meeting at the table, and Matthew then threw an arm around him to introduce him next. Luna had seen him before, but it was always in short, fleeting moments. She was happy to finally put a name to this mystery boy’s face. “Last and certainly least, this is Prince Jameson. Don’t be fooled by his name or his looks because whilst he’s a man of few words, they’re almost never pleasant.” Matthew was right. Although Prince’s face was fixed into what she now knows as his infamous scowl at Matt’s introduction of him, his name did seem fitting for his appearance. His eyes were hazel like hers, yet he wore them so much better than she did. He was sitting, but she could tell that he was taller than her 5’10”. With his high cheekbones and strong jaw, his face seemed perfectly symmetrical besides the scar that rested on the right side of his face just underneath his chiseled jawline. He was perfection. Just like a prince would be. “Prince,” Luna repeated, slowly. Her accent made it much more difficult to say his name compared to the others. “It’s very nice to finally meet you.” The words had come out of her mouth more flirtatious than she wanted. Though, she did want him to know his staring the other day piqued her interest. She wasn’t sure if her attraction to him was apparent to everyone around them, but they didn’t get very far into a conversation before Cass tugged on her arm and pulled her out of whatever trance she was in to introduce her to other people. Luna didn’t want to stop talking to Prince. She wanted to answer all of his questions and ask some of her own, but instead, she allowed herself to be pulled away. Not without waving goodbye to him, though. She chuckled to herself when Matt waved back instead of Prince. Luna spent the rest of the day thinking about him. Cass mentioned that she thinks Prince likes Luna because when Nick introduced Cass to him he hadn’t even looked at her, let alone speak to her. Luna didn’t know what to do with that information. She liked him. She thought he was cute, but what now? Matt and Cass implied that he generally wasn’t likable, so should she even bother with him? Was he even into her? Shouldn’t he be the one to start talking to her? There was also the problem of Luna being too embarrassed to say anything more to him out of fear her English skills would turn him off. She’d spent so much time thinking about him, the rest of the day seemed to fly by. Luna parted ways with Cass and made her way to her locker. As she opened her locker, Luna glanced down the hall and there Prince was again with Matthew was still by his side. Luna looked away quickly to avoid making eye contact and hurried to pack up her things to leave for the day. Shutting her locker close, Luna began making her way to her flat alone, mumbling the new word she added to her list. 

[katelides]

Walking on sunshine - Bechloe mini fic pt 4

Chapter 4: Don’t you want me

It’s a quarter to ten, way too early for a Saturday morning, during the summer. Yet Both Beca and Chloe are impatiently waiting for the clerk of the jewelry store to come and show them the wedding bands. The redhead is tapping her fingers on the surface of the counter, while Beca tries to make time go faster by staring at the clock on the wall. But the brunette can’t help but look down at the tapping fingers, which of course catches Chloe’s attention who immediately stops.

Their eyes meet for a brief second and Chloe looks away, not wanting to feel uncomfortable. The redhead crosses her arms because she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. They stay in complete silence for only a brief moment, but Chloe can’t help it, she can’t stay in silence. “I thought you wanted to kite-surfing the world?” She suddenly says slightly accusing.” Beca takes a deep breath. “We are… on our honeymoon.” Chloe huffs in amusement. “Funny, Maddie always said she wanted Paris.”

Thankfully for Beca, the clerk comes out with the wedding rings and a huge smile on his face. “Would you like to try them on?” He asks politely. Chloe’s eyes widen in shock, and she shakes her head. “Oh no no no, I’m not the bride, it’s uhm someone else she’s going to marry, I’m no one.” The redhead rambles to the great amusement of Beca, who of course takes her ring and tries it on. Chloe sadly keeps rambling on, making the clerk a bit uncomfortable. “I’m just a friend, the sister of the bride.”

“I guess when people want, they change,” Beca says as an answer to Chloe’s previous statement. “Perfect;” She tells the clerk and hands him back the ring so he can put them into their correct boxes. The clerk shoot Chloe an awkward smile, that the redhead easily returns.

“I didn’t change Beca, I just couldn’t drop everything and just run off into the sunset with you,” Chloe says with a huff as they walk out of the store. “I know, your real life, right? How is that working out for you now?” Beca knows she shouldn’t be so cocky about it, but she can’t help it. “Great.” Chloe shoots back dryly. “Cool,” Beca says with an indifferent shrug.

Beca rubs her hands together devilishly, ever since she saw the redhead she wanted to know the answer to one question, and one question only… “Are you seeing anyone?” She asks with a sly grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Chloe answers back semi defensively. “Oh, sorry,” Beca says, trying to control her grin. This was perfect, Chloe definitely isn’t seeing anyone. Whoa wait, she has to get her head screwed back on correctly, she’s getting married tomorrow with Maddie.

“Why are you sorry?” Beca gets pulled back from her thoughts in a flash when Chloe makes her stop by pulling her by the arm. “Well, that’s a no.” Chloe rolls her eyes and continues walking. “No actually, it’s not necessarily a no, I just don’t want to talk about it. I think that sort of thing is private and shouldn’t be sung from the rooftops.” Beca smiles to herself and follows the redhead. She remembers how private the redhead was about the whole falling in love thing. Beca wasn’t so lucky though, she was best friends with Stacie, and her brother Jesse is a movie fanatic.

“Ha, I forgot, never say what you feel, right?” The brunette shoots back. “I just don’t see why people have to make such a spectacle of their feelings.” Beca makes Chloe stops by standing in front of her. “Because if someone sings it from the rooftops, you know that they really mean it. And that’s what weddings are all about.” Beca flashes a cocky smile at the redhead and walks away in victory.

The two of them enter the bridal shop. “Buon giorno.” Hello. Beca greets the woman inside with a smile that turns into. “What did you want me to do, Chloe? Become a monk?” They each accept the clothes they are offered by the shop’s staff while they keep their argument up. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe not fall in love with my sister?” Chloe shoots back sarcastically. “How could I know she was your sister? I have never met two people who are less like each other.” Beca says casually. “What is that supposed to mean?” Chloe asks offended by the statement.

They each step into a changing room. Sadly the two are only separated by a pink curtain. “Non posso credere che stiamo ancora parlando.” I can’t believe we’re still discussing this. “You’re the one that broke it off and forgot all about me.” The hurt is very evident in Beca’s voice, yet Chloe doesn’t seem to notice in her angry state. “I didn’t forget about you, I was working on my degree.” Beca lets out a huff as she puts on her wedding clothes. “Whatever.”

“And anyway, I’m not the one that spends all her days on the beach surrounded by hot girls in bikinis.” The two are so deep into their argument that they don’t hear the new people enter the store. Maybe they should have kept it down as the newcomers are their friends. “Oh come on, you know I wasn’t interested in them, I was waiting for you to come back like you said. But then I realized you weren’t, and then I met Maddie… she was open, so positive and full of life. “ Chloe pulls off her flowery dress in anger. “Full of life? So I’m not full of life?” Beca huffs for the umpteenth time that day. “Maybe you are, but how can anyone know?”

Outside of the stalls Mikey, Emily and Benji are listening in on the conversation. All with pained expressions clouding their faces. “We shouldn’t be listening to this, come on let's go,” Emily whispers. She pulls Benji away from the commotion and taps Mike on his shoulder. All the while as the two are still bickering. “Don’t make a spectacle of your feelings.” Beca shoots out mockingly. “Maddie made me happy again,” Beca states cooly as she shrugs on her jacket. “Okay? She brought me back to life.”

“How many times do I have to say how happy I am for you?” Sarcasm is dripping from Chloe's voice as she grows more frustrated by the minute. “Why are you so angry?” Beca asks, stepping out of her cubical and checking herself in the mirror. “I’m not angry,” Chloe shouts, ripping open her own curtain.

They both freeze when they see the other in their respective wedding outfit. Beca’s eyes roam over Chloe’s gorgeous figure, admiring the redhead in the beautiful pink and white bridesmaid dress.

Chloe’s jaw falls open slightly. Beca had always looked great in a pantsuit, but the dark blue one she is wearing right now makes the brunette’s eyes pop out even more. She looks sexy with the necktie loosely hanging around her neck. It makes her… undeniably hot.

“Oh belli che siete, siete veramente una meravigliosa coppia, e vi meritate in sieme tutto che la vita vi fa dare.” Oh, you are both beautiful, you are truly a wonderful couple, and you deserve all that life gives you. Beca and Chloe look up at the two older women that are cooing at them, making the two feel uncomfortable about their rapidly regrowing feelings. They share a look and can agree on the first thing that day. “I think we’re done.” The two rush back into their cubical and get dressed again but this time in utter silence.

Meanwhile, Maddie is roaming around, carefree, at the weekly farmer’s market.  She loves going there every Saturday, it’s a fun way to spend your morning, and you always go home with fresh fruit and vegetables. The busy hustle of people trying to sell their products, the many smells, the relaxed families all around her… Yes, that’s life she enjoys more than others might think.

The brunette is picking out some vegetables when some grabs the cucumber she just picked out, she’s ready to scream but stops herself when the smell of strong cologne that she would recognize anywhere fills her nostrils. “Doug…” The man chuckles playfully. “Oh, you do miss me.” Maddie pulls the cucumber out of Doug’s hand and puts it back on the pile. “What are you doing here?” She asks rather aggressively. “I’m here to rescue you from making the worst mistake of your life.”

The condescending tone Doug is speaking in irritates Maddie to no end, but she doesn’t show it. “That is so sweet… oh, but you were the worst mistake of my life so…” Without sparing the man another glance, she walks away. She doesn’t get far though, Doug follows her and spins her around. “Mads, Mads, Mads, Mads, I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but that’s all part of our things, isn’t it?”

Maddie tries to ignore the slightly greying man in front of her and tries to push past him but to no avail. “It’s a ride, it’s a great, big, fun, sexy rollercoaster.” Doug lets his ‘R’ roll for effect, one that does not seem to really faze Maddie. “Yeah alright, maybe we’ve had a big down these last few months,” Doug says with a shrug. “You dumped me!” Maddie shouts exasperatedly. “That just means we’re due for a big up. Know what I’m saying?”

“Doug, I don’t want your great, big, sexy,” Maddie’s eyes flicker down to her ex’s crotch but quickly looks back up again. “ride anymore… I want to get off.” Once again Maddie tries to walk away but gets stopped by Doug. “I should have never let you go Maddison Beale.” Maddie agrees with the arrogant douche. “I’m man enough to admit that.” Maddie lets out a bouldering laugh. “Come on, we’re incredible together, you know that.” Maddie rolls her eyes. “Just go…”

“One more chance. Come on, you owe me that.” Maddie keeps trying to get away but gets stopped with every turn. “I don’t owe you anything, except maybe a smack.” She says in an exasperated voice. “How can you say that?” Doug fakes being hurt, but slowly a  grin creeps up on his face. “Remember when you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar?” He asks? “It was the day I first met you.”

Maddie rolls her eyes and turns away, but Doug grabs a piece of fabric of one of the stands and wraps it around the brunette. “Out of all the girls there that night I picked you and I shook you up, and I turned you around, into someone new.”  Maddie wriggles the fabric off and gives it back to the annoyed stand owner with an apologetic smile, all the while as Doug keeps talking.

“Now it’s five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet baby, success has been so easy for you.” Maddie grunts when Doug pulls her into a hug, she refuses to talk to him. “But don’t forget it was me who put you where you are now, and I can put you back down too.” Maddie is really close to slapping the boyish grin of off Doug’s face forever but manages to keep her anger inside and shoves an apple into his mouth. She walks away towards her car, trying to get as far away from the rich, self-absorbed, sex-crazed idiot she used to date.

“Come on Mads, you can’t tell me you don’t want me?” This is the last straw for the engaged brunette, she has to think quick to get rid of Doug. A simple idea pops into her head and turns to face the jerk. “Yes, I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true.” She manages to corner him on an empty table and comes really close as if she would be ready to kiss him. “But even back then I knew I’d find a much better place either with or without you.”

Without sparing Doug a second glance, she leaves him on the table, but she knows he’s following her swiftly. “The five we have had been such good times. I still love you…” Maddie takes a deep breath when she realizes what she just said and releases it just as quick. She’s in love with Beca, Beca is the one that makes her happy, the one that truly ever took the time to understand her. “But now I think it’s time to live my life as my own, I guess it’s just what I must do.”

“I truly don’t believe a word you’re saying sweet cheeks, and you just admitted that you love me so…” Maddie finally reaches her car but gets blocked from driving away. She pretends to let Doug into her vehicle, but the second he is out of the way she drives off. She lets out a relieved breath when she thinks she’s safe but that relief quickly vanishes when she sees Doug pull up next to her.

She manages to cut him off and drives through a little road towards the mansion. Everything seems to be finally clear, but when she enters inside, she finds Doug waiting for her with a grin. Maddie takes a piece of tape and wraps it around Doug’s mouth, so he doesn’t say anything stupid anymore. Thankfully she did because he was ready to do so. She also grabs a chair and is ready to use it on Doug’s head. “Which part of ‘I don’t want you’ don’t you understand?” She asks angrily.

Doug pulls the tape off his mouth so he can speak. “The 'don’t'…” He says seriously. “I've been out with some jerks, but you are a category of your own.” Maddie manages to huff out in annoyance. Doug, on the other hand, takes it as a compliment. “Why did I put up with it for so long? Well, I suppose I thought that one day you would go down on one knee.”

“We certainly have tried every other position,” Doug mumbles more to himself than to Maddie. “Ugh, just leave me alone.” Doug throws his hands up in defense. “Alright, I get it, I could try… but uhm yeah, I’ll go.” Doug slowly turns around but stops in his tracks. “On one condition, have dinner with me tonight.”

Maddie casually shrugs her shoulders. “It’s my hen night.” In her head, she's doing a happy dance because she can get out of it. “We’ll go early, really low key.” Maddie shakes her head. “Come on, have those five years meant anything to you? One last meal, I can wish you well, prove there are no hard feelings.

Maddie thinks about it. “And then you’ll go?” She asks to clarify. “On my honor,” Doug says. The brunette huffs, deep inside hoping that it’s true. “Okay” She didn’t see that Doug crossed his fingers behind his back, though. She doesn’t really get a chance to say or do anything else when she hears footsteps approaching them. “What is he doing here?”

It’s a quarter to ten, way too early for a Saturday morning, during the summer. Yet Both Beca and Chloe are impatiently waiting for the clerk of the jewelry store to come and show them the wedding bands. The redhead is tapping her fingers on the surface of the counter, while Beca tries to make time go faster by staring at the clock on the wall. But the brunette can’t help but look down at the tapping fingers, which of course catches Chloe’s attention who immediately stops.

Their eyes meet for a brief second and Chloe looks away, not wanting to feel uncomfortable. The redhead crosses her arms because she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. They stay in complete silence for only a brief moment, but Chloe can’t help it, she can’t stay in silence. “I thought you wanted to kite-surfing the world?” She suddenly says slightly accusing.” Beca takes a deep breath. “We are… on our honeymoon.” Chloe huffs in amusement. “Funny, Maddie always said she wanted Paris.”

Thankfully for Beca, the clerk comes out with the wedding rings and a huge smile on his face. “Would you like to try them on?” He asks politely. Chloe’s eyes widen in shock, and she shakes her head. “Oh no no no, I’m not the bride, it’s uhm someone else she’s going to marry, I’m no one.” The redhead rambles to the great amusement of Beca, who of course takes her ring and tries it on. Chloe sadly keeps rambling on, making the clerk a bit uncomfortable. “I’m just a friend, the sister of the bride.”

“I guess when people want, they change,” Beca says as an answer to Chloe’s previous statement. “Perfect;” She tells the clerk and hands him back the ring so he can put them into their correct boxes. The clerk shoot Chloe an awkward smile, that the redhead easily returns.

“I didn’t change Beca, I just couldn’t drop everything and just run off into the sunset with you,” Chloe says with a huff as they walk out of the store. “I know, your real life, right? How is that working out for you now?” Beca knows she shouldn’t be so cocky about it, but she can’t help it. “Great.” Chloe shoots back dryly. “Cool,” Beca says with an indifferent shrug.

Beca rubs her hands together devilishly, ever since she saw the redhead she wanted to know the answer to one question, and question only… “Are you seeing anyone?” She asks with a sly grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Chloe answers back semi defensively. “Oh, sorry,” Beca says, trying to control her grin. This was perfect, Chloe definitely isn’t seeing anyone. Whoa wait, she has to get her head screwed back on correctly, she’s getting married tomorrow with Maddie.

“Why are you sorry?” Beca gets pulled back from her thoughts in a flash when Chloe makes her stop by pulling her by the arm. “Well, that’s a no.” Chloe rolls her eyes and continues walking. “No actually, it’s not necessarily a no, I just don’t want to talk about it. I think that sort of thing is private and shouldn’t be sung from the rooftops.” Beca smiles to herself and follows the redhead. She remembers how private the redhead was about the whole falling in love thing. Beca wasn’t so lucky though, she was best friends with Stacie, and her brother Jesse is a movie fanatic.

“Ha, I forgot, never say what you feel, right?” The brunette shoots back. “I just don’t see why people have to make such a spectacle of their feelings.” Beca makes Chloe stops by standing in front of her. “Because if someone sings it from the rooftops, you know that they really mean it. And that’s what weddings are all about.” Beca flashes a cocky smile at the redhead and walks away in victory.

The two of them enter the bridal shop. “Buon giorno.” Hello. Beca greets the woman inside with a smile that turns into. “What did you want me to do, Chloe? Become a monk?” They each accept the clothes they are offered by the shop’s staff while they keep their argument up. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe not fall in love with my sister?” Chloe shoots back sarcastically. “How could I know she was your sister? I have never met two people who are less like each other.” Beca says casually. “What is that supposed to mean?” Chloe asks offended by the statement.

They each step into a changing room. Sadly the two are only separated by a pink curtain. “Non posso credere che stiamo ancora parlando.” I can’t believe we’re still discussing this. “You’re the one that broke it off and forgot all about me.” The hurt is very evident in Beca’s voice, yet Chloe doesn’t seem to notice in her angry state. “I didn’t forget about you, I was working on my degree.” Beca lets out a huff as she puts on her wedding clothes. “Whatever.”

“And anyway, I’m not the one that spends all her days on the beach surrounded by hot girls in bikinis.” The two are so deep into their argument that they don’t hear the new people enter the store. Maybe they should have kept it down as the newcomers are their friends. “Oh come on, you know I wasn’t interested in them, I was waiting for you to come back like you said. But then I realized you weren’t, and then I met Maddie… she was open, so positive and full of life. “ Chloe pulls off her flowery dress in anger. “Full of life? So I’m not full of life?” Beca huffs for the umpteenth time that day. “Maybe you are, but how can anyone know?”

Outside of the stalls Mikey, Emily and Benji are listening in on the conversation. All with pained expressions clouding their faces. “We shouldn’t be listening to this, come on let's go,” Emily whispers. She pulls Benji away from the commotion and taps Mike on his shoulder. All the while as the two are still bickering. “Don’t make a spectacle of your feelings.” Beca shoots out mockingly. “Maddie made me happy again,” Beca states cooly as she shrugs on her jacket. “Okay? She brought me back to life.”

“How many times do I have to say how happy I am for you?” Sarcasm is dripping from Chloe's voice as she grows more frustrated by the minute. “Why are you so angry?” Beca asks, stepping out of her cubical and checking herself in the mirror. “I’m not angry,” Chloe shouts, ripping open her own curtain.

They both freeze when they see the other in their respective wedding outfit. Beca’s eyes roam over Chloe’s gorgeous figure, admiring the redhead in the beautiful pink and white bridesmaid dress.

Chloe’s jaw falls open slightly. Beca had always looked great in a pantsuit, but the dark blue one she is wearing right now makes the brunette’s eyes pop out even more. She looks sexy with the necktie loosely hanging around her neck. It makes her… undeniably hot.

“Oh belli che siete, siete veramente una meravigliosa coppia, e vi meritate in sieme tutto che la vita vi fa dare.” Oh, you are both beautiful, you are truly a wonderful couple, and you deserve all that life gives you. Beca and Chloe look up at the two older women that are cooing at them, making the two feel uncomfortable about their rapidly regrowing feelings. They share a look and can agree on the first thing that day. “I think we’re done.” The two rush back into their cubical and get dressed again but this time in utter silence.

Meanwhile, Maddie is roaming around, carefree, at the weekly farmer’s market.  She loves going there every Saturday, it’s a fun way to spend your morning, and you always go home with fresh fruit and vegetables. The busy hustle of people trying to sell their products, the many smells, the relaxed families all around her… Yes, that’s life she enjoys more than others might think.

The brunette is picking out some vegetables when some grabs the cucumber she just picked out, she’s ready to scream but stops herself when the smell of strong cologne that she would recognize anywhere fills her nostrils. “Doug…” The man chuckles playfully. “Oh, you do miss me.” Maddie pulls the cucumber out of Doug’s hand and puts it back on the pile. “What are you doing here?” She asks rather aggressively. “I’m here to rescue you from making the worst mistake of your life.”

The condescending tone Doug is speaking in irritates Maddie to no end, but she doesn’t show it. “That is so sweet… oh, but you were the worst mistake of my life so…” Without sparing the man another glance, she walks away. She doesn’t get far though, Doug follows her and spins her around. “Mads, Mads, Mads, Mads, I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but that’s all part of our things, isn’t it?”

Maddie tries to ignore the slightly greying man in front of her and tries to push past him but to no avail. “It’s a ride, it’s a great, big, fun, sexy rollercoaster.” Doug lets his ‘R’ roll for effect, one that does not seem to really faze Maddie. “Yeah alright, maybe we’ve had a big down these last few months,” Doug says with a shrug. “You dumped me!” Maddie shouts exasperatedly. “That just means we’re due for a big up. Know what I’m saying?”

“Doug, I don’t want your great, big, sexy,” Maddie’s eyes flicker down to her ex’s crotch but quickly looks back up again. “ride anymore… I want to get off.” Once again Maddie tries to walk away but gets stopped by Doug. “I should have never let you go Maddison Beale.” Maddie agrees with the arrogant douche. “I’m man enough to admit that.” Maddie lets out a bouldering laugh. “Come on, we’re incredible together, you know that.” Maddie rolls her eyes. “Just go…”

“One more chance. Come on, you owe me that.” Maddie keeps trying to get away but gets stopped with every turn. “I don’t owe you anything, except maybe a smack.” She says in an exasperated voice. “How can you say that?” Doug fakes being hurt, but slowly a  grin creeps up on his face. “Remember when you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar?” He asks? “It was the day I first met you.”

Maddie rolls her eyes and turns away, but Doug grabs a piece of fabric of one of the stands and wraps it around the brunette. “Out of all the girls there that night I picked you and I shook you up, and I turned you around, into someone new.”  Maddie wriggles the fabric off and gives it back to the annoyed stand owner with an apologetic smile, all the while as Doug keeps talking.

“Now it’s five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet baby, success has been so easy for you.” Maddie grunts when Doug pulls her into a hug, she refuses to talk to him. “But don’t forget it was me who put you where you are now, and I can put you back down too.” Maddie is really close to slapping the boyish grin of off Doug’s face forever but manages to keep her anger inside and shoves an apple into his mouth. She walks away towards her car, trying to get as far away from the rich, self-absorbed, sex-crazed idiot she used to date.

“Come on Mads, you can’t tell me you don’t want me?” This is the last straw for the engaged brunette, she has to think quick to get rid of Doug. A simple idea pops into her head and turns to face the jerk. “Yes, I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true.” She manages to corner him on an empty table and comes really close as if she would be ready to kiss him. “But even back then I knew I’d find a much better place either with or without you.”

Without sparing Doug a second glance, she leaves him on the table, but she knows he’s following her swiftly. “The five we have had been such good times. I still love you…” Maddie takes a deep breath when she realizes what she just said and releases it just as quick. She’s in love with Beca, Beca is the one that makes her happy, the one that truly ever took the time to understand her. “But now I think it’s time to live my life as my own, I guess it’s just what I must do.”

“I truly don’t believe a word you’re saying sweet cheeks, and you just admitted that you love me so…” Maddie finally reaches her car but gets blocked from driving away. She pretends to let Doug into her vehicle, but the second he is out of the way she drives off. She lets out a relieved breath when she thinks she’s safe but that relief quickly vanishes when she sees Doug pull up next to her.

She manages to cut him off and drives through a little road towards the mansion. Everything seems to be finally clear, but when she enters inside, she finds Doug waiting for her with a grin. Maddie takes a piece of tape and wraps it around Doug’s mouth, so he doesn’t say anything stupid anymore. Thankfully she did because he was ready to do so. She also grabs a chair and is ready to use it on Doug’s head. “Which part of ‘I don’t want you’ don’t you understand?” She asks angrily.

Doug pulls the tape off his mouth so he can speak. “The 'don’t'…” He says seriously. “I've been out with some jerks, but you are a category of your own.” Maddie manages to huff out in annoyance. Doug, on the other hand, takes it as a compliment. “Why did I put up with it for so long? Well, I suppose I thought that one day you would go down on one knee.”

“We certainly have tried every other position,” Doug mumbles more to himself than to Maddie. “Ugh, just leave me alone.” Doug throws his hands up in defense. “Alright, I get it, I could try… but uhm yeah, I’ll go.” Doug slowly turns around but stops in his tracks. “On one condition, have dinner with me tonight.”

Maddie casually shrugs her shoulders. “It’s my hen night.” In her head, she's doing a happy dance because she can get out of it. “We’ll go early, really low key.” Maddie shakes her head. “Come on, have those five years meant anything to you? One last meal, I can wish you well, prove there are no hard feelings.

Maddie thinks about it. “And then you’ll go?” She asks to clarify. “On my honor,” Doug says. The brunette huffs, deep inside hoping that it’s true. “Okay” She didn’t see that Doug crossed his fingers behind his back, though. She doesn’t really get a chance to say or do anything else when she hears footsteps approaching them. “What is he doing here?”

[mentalcurls]

10. Perché mi hai fatto una cosa del genere?

My thoughts on this episode were all over the place, I can’t even find main themes to put in this little intro, so, fuck it! Get ready for me getting angry at least a couple of times because of men, as I’m wont to do, and have a look at the results of the Bechdel test for the episode at the end!

in the previous episode, I forgot to call attention to Eva taking charge of the situation when Alice goes after Laura: that’s the boss!Eva from Silvia’s party in S2, the same person we haven’t seen in a month, since the day Edoardo showed up at her house early for his date with Silvia; and here we see a version of her again, she’s a girl with a purpose and since Marti doesn’t answer her she’s gonna hunt him down

but why is Marti online?

ok so the day Marti’s dad leaves him and his mom is May 24th or 25th; the first night of proper, restful sleep we’re sure Marti gets is November 1st; five months and change of insomnia, caring for his depressed mom and bottling things up in general 💔

Gio is in red! again!

the stilted conversation between Eva and Gio, the pauses, it hurts to watch

especially because on top of the general awkwardness of being not-quite-exes and not on the best of terms (it’s quite possible this is the first time they’ve talked since ep. 8); the fact that we know Eva knows makes things even more painful to watch

and God, but Gio is honestly so caring: even here, while they’re in this weird limbo between being people with a friend in common, mostly-exes and fighting, he still asks Eva how she’s feeling, how things are with her and empathizes with her

and after Eva asks Gio to say hi to Marti for her, there’s a minute where she’s mulling, she’s about to say something and I’m dead with wanting to know what: is it something about them? Is it a “I’m working on what you told me, you were right”? Is it about Marti interfering with them and Alice? Or, even more painful, does she want to say something, but can’t find anything to say to Gio???

the most painful goodbye, aborted tries for a hug, then an embarrassed kiss on the cheek and Gio turning his back on Eva to go to Marti

oh, God. Gio turns his back on Eva to go to Marti.

did the school only let them use one bathroom for shooting?? or was it LudoBesse’s favorite, the only one that had the Light™? This is not only the same bathroom where Eva dragged Laura last episode, but the one in which Marti and Nico will have their secret rendezvous in 5.4 Pausa and where Marti will tell i Contrabbandieri about Milan in 9.3 Namacissi

oh, good, Silvia is on speaking terms with Eva again!

and Eva cried because of Silvia’s words, for fuck’s sake, but here she tells her they were not a big deal and I’m half thankful because look at how bad poor Silvia feels, you see it in her face; but I’m also half mad cause that wasn’t okay

and here we go! Silvia dropping the mask and admitting that for as much as she tries to live her fantasy of being well liked and dating Edo like Valentina in RPDR All Stars, she can’t delude herself enough to actually believe it: her insecurity runs so deep it makes my chest hurt

“It always ends with everyone hating me. I’m used to it.” WHO TOLD HER THEY HATED HER AND SHE WAS GOING TO BE HATED Francesca Mirabella, I’m looking at you, it might not have been you but you probably had something to do with it, she’s your sister ffs, why don’t you try to help her and lift her up??

Eva tries, she tries hard, but there’s only so much she can do, in part because she doesn’t know how, in part because it’s pretty late, in part because Silvia is spiraling and she won’t listen to her anyways

and Eva and Gio are alone again, good job universe: keep shoving them together and they’ll have to start talking again, now that things have died down and they’re calmer

Gio is in Middle earth: reddish-brown t-shirt, blue shirt on top, not quite of red zone but slowly going back to a more normal blue

Eva really really doesn’t want to fail: I wish we’d seen a glimpse of her family again, if she’s apologized to her mom and has explained and not failing any subjects is a way to prove her good will; if it is a way to apologize, to make up for the near-suspension and try and break down the barrier between them so she can talk and explain and maybe even ask for advice

safe subjects, common ground between Gio and Eva: the exam, Marti, their next class (still interspersed with those awkward silences)

things can’t keep going like that, they’ve been walking on eggshells around one another, they’re bound to break one at some point

except they don’t get to because Canegallo does it for them

and again, allow me to repeat how much of an asshole I think he is: he was walking by them, sure, but he simply had to keep his mouth shut and ignore them for things not to go south, instead he purposefully stirs shit; had it been Gio by himself would he have said anything? I don’t think so, he’s just trying to show Eva he’s over her, but catch her attention at the same time and pay her back for the story getting out by putting her in a difficult position with Gio; and he literally does it just for shits and giggles, since he surely never gave enough fucks about Alice to be upset now that she’s broken up with him, so even “revenge” is just a facade for the desire to cause drama

Gio is channeling his inner Elia and Eva is immediately on high alert, even before he shoves Federico

and everything was going decently, if not well, then motherfucking Canegallo had to open his whore mouth and also throw Gio on the floor and look, look at the look Giovanni gives Eva when she tries to calm him down, just before walking away from her: that look is saying it again “How could you kiss him? How can you like him and people like him and go out with them and kiss any of them?” (hard same tbh, Eva, how?)

so things went to shit again

oh look, it’s Alice, again… it’s like Eva’s a flame and they’re all like moths, jeez

at least Alice has finally broken things off with Canegallo for real and I’d like to thank not only God but also Jesus

and she’s proudly announcing she’s the one who dumped his sorry ass and that’s the best part for me, such a far call from last episode’s “I can’t dump him”

I have so many problems with the “alcoholic feminist night” for single girls who are angry with men Alice’s planning and with Eva’s interpretation of it as a lesbian thing and with them agreeing that homosexuality might prove to be a solution like OH. MY. GOD

so few words, so many wrong messages. These girls, honestly. Eleonora, magically appear and slap some sense into them please

aaaaaand the actual “girls only” night begins with a shot where there are five guys or so…so much for coherence

at least the girls seem to be having fun

Eleonora’s “Okay” is soooo unconvincing, I mean, yeah, you’re outvoted,ok, but at least take the defeat with some attempt at grace; especially given that when they’re recording the video she abandons all pretenses of still holding a grudge and smiles, jokes and happily invites Silvia with all the others

so, not only there are those boys from the first shot at the party, but also Marti Elia and Peccio are there. Again: wasn’t this GIRLS ONLY PARTY?

unless they’re following the girls to find out where they’re meeting, watching from afar like lurkers and waiting for their chance to slip in when the girls get drunker. Wouldn’t put it past them

some casual, subtle racism from Marti and Elia

ok so Peccio’s actual surname is Pecci, we’re one step closer to figuring out his name, and then he’ll officially have one before Mrs Rametta who’s 1543 times more important in the economy of the series LUDOBESSE GIVE MARTI’S MOM A NAME YOU COWARD

Marti’s boob comment. I just. Honey, why? Why make it somewhat sexual, why make Eva’s happiness about her appearance, specifically to an element of her appearance that is heavily objectified and sexualized by men and at the same time imply that it is frivolous to care about one’s appearance? (I have strong feelings about breasts and men’s/society’s attention to them)

so Marti’s reaction is: incredulous half-smile, uncomfortable wiggle, face going sad/disappointed purportedly because Gio didn’t tell him, fake ass happy comments

“I was happy to do it, I care about you two” yeah, Marti, how about we go once more and you at least try to put some feeling and conviction in it?

and in the most powerful power move Eva just laid down all her cards at once, then grabbed the table and fucking flipped it YAAASSS QUEEN

“Cause, you know, my relationship starts going to shit from that moment” EHM. Eva. Are you only lying to Martino to make him feel guiltier or are you lying to yourself as well?

MARTINOH GUARDAMI MARTINOH (I’ve been waiting ten episodes for this blessed moment of poetic cinema)

“C’mon Eva, you know fully well that I like you” and let me turn my question to you, Marti babe: are you only lying to get a believable alibi or are you lying to yourself as well?

and really, I want to know what’s in Marti’s head right now! He obviously had this excuse prepared so he either really thinks he really likes Eva and is completely unaware of his crush on Gio still, or he spent a long time trying to come up with a believable lie after he impulsively told Alice everything (I refuse to think he actually honestly premeditated it); or is he trying to convince himself he did it for Eva because he’s somewhat aware of his feeling for Gio but vehemently doesn’t want to accept them? As I type, I realize the third option is the most likely. Well, that throws me a bit, I’d always thought by this point Marti knew, I mean, the cabin

so that reframes the whole summer. It was the summer of acceptance for Marti. He makes peace with being gay, since he’s not fighting it still when he meets Nico, he accepts he likes Gio but nothing will ever come out of it, since in 1.2 Svegli he’s aware of his feelings, he accepts his dad won’t be coming back and he’s gonna have to care for his mom. What a summer.

and of course he did hurt when Eva came to him about Gio, of course he did, poor baby

Marti himself brings up the cabin, but really, even trying, in that conversation I can’t hear a lick of interest for Eva, and she probably didn’t either; how deeply in denial are you Marti?

Eva’s incredulity is heartbreaking, all her rage just goes right out of her

oooh, I hope I’m right about Marti not knowing his own feelings yet. Cause if Marti knows he’s into Gio and thinks of telling Eva he’s into here only as an excuse, it makes me so fucking angry? I just realized how fucking manipulative a move it is, not only because he tries to play into her feeling, but also just because it’s just such a sheerly ballsy move, one that yanks off the earth right under Eva’s feet and it is designed specifically so she’s gonna be shocked into letting go of her rightful anger and that’s such a fucking asshole move, I can’t even. Fuck.

so yeah, better convince myself Marti really believe he was into Eva at that point, even if it tilts my whole worldview for this show sideways

but Eva is so powerful walking away like that, despite the shock, despite asking for help to get down from the van, she radiates badassery and anger. And I thank God for that. If she’d been meek because she’s confused, if she hadn’t demanded to be helped like that it would have been so dismissive of her I would have probably cried actual tears

that poor girl, the friend-of-Alice’s whose party this was supposed to be. She doesn’t know these girls at all and now one of their friends got there blackout drunk and collapsed and her birthday celebration risks being shut down because they need to get medical help and that’s gonna bring a lot of questions about underage drinking, plus she’s worried, just out of basic decency and empathy, I mean, she might have alcohol poisoning or go into ethylic coma or die

and so we get to the parallel to catwalk in ep. 4 when the girls were going to Edoardo’s/Chicco Rodi’s (never quite figured that one out, I guess we’ll see next season)

but really, is that the best way to carry Silvia they could think of? Sana only holding her hand, while Eva (second shortest) carries the heaviest part of Silvia’s body her middle, by herself?

thank God for the Eleonora Savas and the Sana Allaguis of the world, ready to take charge of bad situations they’re in, to call for help even if others won’t admit to needing it and to get their hands dirty; honestly, boos to the Federicas of the world cause who cares about being grounded when there’s someone who’s fucking unconscious?

poor Sana, being looked at like she’s an alien just because she actually has hair like any normal human being (jk, it actually is a super sweet moment of girls bonding and supporting and lifting each other up)

yes to cuddly puppy piles in beds

aaaaand there goes the cliffhanger

I’d be super curious to know if for people who’d never seen any Skam before, Silvia being pregnant was actually believable? There was the unprotected sex, the mood swings, the puking... I felt it was pretty believable in Skam og when I watched it, but of course I having seen the og I’ve been spoiled how this ends, so I can’t gauge how convincing Skam Italia was (I feel like it wasn’t as convincing tbh but it might just be me knowing the truth, so) 🤷‍♀️

Bechdel test: this episode passes the test, because of the conversation around Silvia at Alice’s party. I think this might actually be the only conversation that happens fully on screen and is entirely devoid of any mention of any male character. In the conversation that have made other episodes pass the Bechdel test, there’s usually either some subtext, or a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it mention, or it’s a conversation that happens while we fade into a scene so we only hear the very last part of it, or the conversation veers into boy territory after a few lines. This is a welcome change.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.  If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!