#and if there's a second thing i love it's answering questions no one asked | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deliciousangelfestival · 3 days ago

Text

Change of Heart - 2 | Bucky

Character: Bucky x Female! Reader

Theme: Angst, tragedy, romance.

Summary: The interviewer asked her a provocative question:

“If you were offered a million dollars, would you leave your partner?”

Without hesitation, she replied with a smirk, “Give me one dollar, and I’ll leave him this second.”

True to her word, she walked away, leaving the man stunned and searching for answers. Now, he’s desperately trying to find her, grappling with the haunting question—why would she leave him so easily?

And is there more to her departure than a single dollar could ever explain?

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 ,-

Main Masterlist || If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee on Ko-fi 🙏🏻

By the way, I publish my book Arrogant Ex-Husband and Dad, I Can't Let You Go by Alina C. Bing on Kindle.

Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️

“Fine,�� he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. He knew there was no point in pushing further. Grace was like a fortress, guarding whatever secrets you had entrusted her with. Talking to her felt futile, like arguing with a wall that refused to crack.

“I won’t press you for more answers,” he said, his voice softening, though the tension lingered in his tone. “At least tell me this—is she in trouble? Is someone trying to hurt her or threaten her?” His jaw tightened as he spoke, his concern leaking through despite his best effort to remain composed.

Grace hesitated before answering. “No,” she replied firmly, her gaze unwavering.

A part of Bucky felt a wave of relief at her reassurance. If Grace said you weren’t in danger, then maybe you were safe. But another part of him sank deeper into confusion and sadness. For two years, you had been his constant, his safe harbor.

You weren’t just his wife on paper; you had been someone he could rely on, someone who listened to him without judgment. Now, the thought that you might be facing something he had overlooked made him feel hollow.

Had he missed something? Overlooked a sign? The thought gnawed at him as he stood there in silence. You had always been a good listener, absorbing his worries and frustrations like a sponge. Better than any therapist he’d ever paid for. In fact, since marrying you, he had stopped going to therapy altogether.

But then it hit him. You’d rarely opened up about your own life. He couldn’t even recall the last time you shared anything personal. Was that his failure? Not listening to you when you needed him most? His chest tightened with guilt as he realized that the contract, which was supposed to ensure mutual understanding, might have become a barrier instead of a bridge.

Before he could say anything else, his phone buzzed, breaking his train of thought. He glanced at the screen and saw the agency’s number.

“Mr. Barnes, it’s about the arrangement,” the voice on the other end said.

“What is it?” His tone was curt, impatient.

“Your wife has decided not to renew the contract.”

He gritted his teeth. “I know that already.”

“Yes, sir,” the voice continued, cautiously. “But she also returned the money you gave her.”

Bucky froze, his grip on the phone tightening. “What?”

“She left it with us. I’m sorry for the way this unfolded, Mr. Barnes. If you have time, we’d like to meet and discuss this in person.”

He clenched his jaw. “I’ll think about it.”

“Understood. One more thing—Miss L/N left a message. She wanted you to know that she’s sorry.”

Bucky ended the call without a word. His mind was racing, a cacophony of thoughts and emotions he couldn’t untangle.

As he turned to leave, Grace finally broke her silence. “She told me to tell you not to look for her,” she said, her voice low but resolute.

Her words landed like a punch to his gut. He turned back to face her, his expression a mixture of disbelief and sorrow. His fists clenched at his sides, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything.

“Don’t look for her,” Grace repeated, softer this time, as if trying to ease the blow.

Bucky’s lips parted, but no words came out. He swallowed hard, his throat tight. Without another word, he turned and walked away, her parting message crushing him with every step.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

The matchmaking agency didn’t have an official name. To the outside world, it appeared to be an upscale wedding organizer. But beneath the surface, it operated a discreet business, catering to an elite clientele. The agency specialized in PR, celebrity pairings, and finding partners for those seeking unconventional marriages.

To join this matchmaking service, clients paid exorbitant fees, a cost justified by the agency’s ironclad guarantee of success and confidentiality. This exclusivity made it accessible only to the wealthiest 1%. For most clients, love wasn’t a priority. Many were too jaded, too broken, or simply unwilling to risk their hearts again, yet they craved the semblance of companionship.

Companionship didn’t necessarily mean intimacy. Some sought emotional connections without physical ties, while others wanted a blend of friendship and trust. In essence, the agency sold what its clients desired most: a reliable partner tailored to their needs.

That’s where Bucky came in. He wasn’t looking for love. He needed someone he could trust, someone who fit seamlessly into his life. You had checked every box. You charmed his parents and, more importantly, his grandfather—a critical seal of approval.

Now, Bucky sat in the CEO’s office of the agency, his jaw set and his posture rigid. The room was sleek and modern, dominated by a white sofa where both of them sat. He accepted the black tea she offered but barely touched it.

The CEO, a sharp-eyed woman in her late forties, sat across from him, her demeanor professional but empathetic. She had started this agency after her own marriage fell apart. Betrayed by her husband’s infidelity and weary of meaningless dates, she realized she wasn’t alone. Many shared her frustration with traditional relationships. That realization had birthed her unique matchmaking business.

She leaned forward slightly, her expression neutral but observant. “Thank you for making time to meet with me, Mr. Barnes,” she began.

Bucky’s voice was clipped. “Do you know what she did?”

“Yes,” the CEO replied calmly. “She came here yesterday and asked me to give you these.” She placed two envelopes on the table between them.

“This one contains the check for the money she received. She’s returning it to you. The other is a letter she wanted you to have.”

Bucky’s gaze dropped to the envelopes. They were unassuming, just thin paper, yet they felt heavier than the multimillion-dollar contracts he signed daily. He hesitated, his fingers brushing over the edges. Despite his composed exterior, uncertainty gnawed at him.

“Would you like me to open them for you?” the CEO asked gently.

“No, thank you.” His voice was firm, though his hand trembled slightly as he picked up the envelopes.

Slowly, he opened the first one. Inside was a check for the exact amount you’d received when signing the contract—$2 million for two years.

His chest tightened. So that damn $1 was enough to make you leave? Why?

Didn’t you say the money was meant to help you break free from your parents’ control? You wanted to save it to open a café, to buy a boat, to carve out a life of your own.

With a deep breath, he opened the second envelope. This was the one you had specifically instructed to be given to him. He unfolded the paper, hoping for answers, for clarity.

Instead, there was only one sentence:

“It’s not you. It’s me.”

Bucky scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. His grip on the paper tightened as his jaw clenched. What kind of joke is this? Of all people, he never thought he’d be the one on the receiving end of such a cliché. And didn’t everyone know? The person who said those words was usually the one placing blame.

So it is me. I’m the reason you left.

He pressed a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes as the weight of realization settled over him. He thought back to the countless times you’d listened to him, your quiet understanding, your patience. Had he ever done the same for you? Had he missed the signs that you were unhappy?

He cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “Did you see her face yesterday?” he asked, his voice low but steady.

“Yes,” the CEO replied, her expression unreadable.

“What did you see? Was she sad? Angry? Happy?”

The CEO took a moment before answering. “I sensed relief when she handed me the check.”

Bucky’s shoulders tensed, his chest constricting at her words. Relief? Was that all you felt after two years together?

“But,” she continued, her voice softening, “when she gave me the letter for you, I saw regret in her eyes.”

Bucky froze, those five words—I saw regret in her eyes—hitting him like a punch to the gut. He swallowed hard, his gaze dropping to the letter still clutched in his hand.

If you regretted it, why did you leave? Why didn’t you say anything? Was it really so unbearable to stay?

His thoughts spiraled as he sat there, motionless, staring at the remnants of what he thought was a stable arrangement. The unanswered questions twisted in his mind, leaving a hollow ache in their wake.

“Forgive my frankness, Mr. Barnes,” the CEO began, her tone professional yet slightly playful. “Since you’re officially single now, would you like me to add you back to the list?”

Bucky’s eyes darkened, and his jaw tightened as he leveled a cold glare at her. “Marriage is the last thing on my mind.”

The CEO nodded, her smile faint and understanding. “Of course. I apologize for asking.”

Bucky stood, adjusting his suit jacket with deliberate movements, signaling the end of the conversation. He turned to leave, but the CEO rose to her feet and extended her hand toward him.

“It’s been a privilege having you as our client, Mr. Barnes,” she said with a polite smile. “I hope our paths cross again.”

He paused, his eyes narrowing slightly as he regarded her. After a brief hesitation, he reached out and shook her hand, his grip firm but curt. “This is the last time I’ll be here.”

Her smile didn’t falter, remaining calm and composed. “Safe travels, Mr. Barnes. And thank you for using our services.”

Bucky released her hand without another word, his expression unreadable as he turned on his heel and strode toward the exit. His footsteps echoed in the quiet, elegant office, a stark reminder that this chapter of his life was closing for good.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

Bucky slid into the backseat of his car, running a hand through his hair in frustration. The driver glanced at him through the rearview mirror, hesitant but professional. “Where to, Mr. Barnes?”

Bucky exhaled sharply, leaning back against the seat. “To Grandpa’s house.”

“Yes, sir.”

As the car wove through the streets, Bucky stared out the window, lost in thought. His mind wandered to his grandfather, Paul—stubborn, sharp-tongued, and annoyingly perceptive. He wondered if the old man already knew you had left or if he was still blissfully unaware.

Ever since you met his family, you’d formed an immediate bond with Paul. The connection between you two had been almost effortless. You once told Bucky that, having never known your own grandparents, you’d always yearned for an elder figure in your life.

For Paul, who often clashed with Bucky during their 20-minute tolerance window, you were a revelation. You brought out a side of him Bucky rarely saw—a livelier, softer version of the strict, commanding patriarch. Paul saw in you the granddaughter he’d always wished for: someone who called him, visited him, and actually listened to his long-winded stories.

Yet even that bond hadn’t been enough to make you stay.

When the car pulled up to the grand estate, Bucky stepped out and made his way inside, his movements tense and deliberate. He headed toward Paul’s study, where the old man often spent his afternoons.

Pushing open the door, he paused. Paul sat in his wheelchair by the fireplace, glasses perched on his nose, reading a letter. The firelight cast warm hues across the room, highlighting the lined face of a man who had lived through decades of triumphs and disappointments.

Before Bucky could announce his presence, Paul’s voice broke the silence.

“She left, didn’t she?” The elder’s tone was heavy, filled with resignation. He crumpled the letter in his hands and tossed it into the flames, watching as it curled into ash.

Bucky froze, guilt knotting in his chest. “She… she said goodbye to you?”

Paul didn’t look up. “And about the agency.”

Bucky’s stomach dropped. His mind raced, scrambling for an explanation. Did Grandpa know everything?

“Grandpa, I can explain—”

“Shut up, you stupid boy!” Paul snapped, his voice rising with a force that belied his age. His hand moved to his chest as if to steady himself. “You fooled me twice, Bucky. Twice! First, you made me believe your marriage was real. Then, you made me believe I finally had a granddaughter.”

Bucky instinctively stepped closer, his hand resting gently on Paul’s shoulder, his other moving to massage the elder’s chest. “I’m sorry, Grandpa. I—”

Paul shook him off, his eyes blazing with disappointment. “And don’t get me started on that ridiculous matchmaking agency. It’s absurd! What happened to normal relationships? Real love?”

Bucky swallowed hard, his throat dry.

Paul’s voice cracked, the anger giving way to heartbreak. “You broke this old man’s heart, Bucky. I thought… I thought I could finally go in peace, knowing you had a wife. A good girl by your side. But now…”

He saw it with his own eyes—that Bucky and you were a perfect match. Turns out, it was all a lie. It broke him.

“Tell me,” Paul said, his voice trembling with a mix of anger and desperation, “does she mean anything to you? Or was it just a contract?”

Bucky hesitated, the weight of the question pressing down on him. He opened his mouth but no words came out.

Paul’s eyes narrowed, his disappointment deepening. “You know what? She was right to leave you for a single dollar.”

The words hit Bucky like a slap. His fists clenched at his sides, his jaw tightening. Everyone seemed to blame him for your departure—Grace, the agency, and now his own grandfather. What did I do that was so wrong?

He finally snapped. “If she didn’t mean anything to me, would I have walked out of a $100 billion meeting to go ask where she is?”

It hurt even more because he had lost his best friend. A wife was just a word to him, but a best friend? Yes. Yes, you were. You meant a lot to him, and to his grandfather as well. And you just left without a proper goodbye, as if he didn’t deserve one. He needed answers.

He even skipped a meeting worth billions of dollars. For him to miss it means you are worth more than billions to him.

Paul’s eyes widened, his expression shifting from anger to realization.

“Then what are you doing here?” Paul barked, his voice regaining its edge. “Go find her!”

Bucky stood, stunned into silence.

“Don’t come back until you’ve found her!” Paul continued, pointing toward the door. “And forget about the company. It can survive without you. She’s the one you need to fix this with.”

Bucky nodded stiffly, his expression a mix of determination and frustration. Without another word, he turned and strode out of the study, leaving Paul alone by the fire.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

As Bucky stepped out of his grandfather’s house, the weight of the conversation still hanging over him, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration before answering.

"Sir," came the voice of his head of security.

Bucky sighed, exhaustion creeping into his bones. "Tell me at least some good news," he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

"We found her."

The words hit him like a jolt of electricity. His pulse quickened, and for the first time in what felt like ages, a flicker of hope lit in his chest.

Bucky straightened up, his posture shifting from defeat to determination. "Where is she?" His voice was sharper now, his body leaning forward, eager for any hint of where you might be.

This was the news he’d been waiting for, the answer he desperately needed.

Join the taglist:

@thezombieprostitute

@bellamoret

@bucky-baby-barnes

@greatenthusiasttidalwave

@paryl

@pattiemac1

@kjah97

@danzer8705

@singsosworld

@mrsnikstan

@vicmc624

@cjand10

@wintercrows

@winchestert101

@rethasavedlives

@sjsmith56

@sarcasmoverlordxo

@buckybarnesfic

@angstangstbabeh

@everythingmybeloved

@tofuonfaiya

@longpondlibrary

@marvel-wifey-86

@jeremyrennermakesmesmile

@tasersloth

@diffidentphantom

@pklol

@ellosmile

@sebastians-love

@irishhappiness

@kmc1989

@440mxs-wife

@longpondlibrary

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes au #james bucky buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #buckybarnes #contract marriage #angst #drama #romance

180 notes · View notes

starlighttsv · 3 days ago

Text

Lego sets - Paige’s daughter

💌 Syn: paige buys lilah some gifts as a reward for getting good grades

»»— warnings: las!paige - i wrote this way before the draft lottery and was to lazy to change the team and teammates

»»— notes: finally finished bringing stuff over from wattpad!! now i just have to bring stuff from here over to wattpad 😔

»»— word count: 1.6k

»»— pair: paige x daughter!oc || lilah bueckers

Paige, Cameron, Rickea, and Rae all went to target today to get some necessities but Paige was also getting a few things for her daughter, as she had done really good on her spelling test and math test so P wanted to give Lilah a little reward. Paige and Lilah always have mama-daughter dates, and most of those date nights are exactly like this: eating take out or cooking together, baking some type of dessert (mostly already made cookie dough) and building legos while watching some game show on Netflix. It's both of their favorite things to do and they always cherish those nights as they don't get to do it a lot during the wnba season and Paige knew Lilahs gonna grow out of it eventually.

"What about Star Wars?" Rae asks holding up the gaint Darth Vader Lego set "we already did it a month ago" P says not even looking at her, focusing on the Lego boxes in front of her "okayyy what about the Eiffel Tower?" "Did it like 3 three weeks ago" "Stitch?" "A few years ago. Did it my fifth year of college." "Flowers" "have done multiple different ones" "alright we give up" Rickea says as she got tired of them all listing things off, just to immediately be shut down by Paige

Paige ignores them as they keep complaining about anything and everything, just looking at the legos trying to find some good ones, that P knows Lilah will love. That's when she sees a Moana set and a Disney Castle set, which is perfect for Lilah. Paige grabs those and put them in the cart that her and Rae are sharing, Cameron and Rickea sharing another cart.

"Finally! Can we go now?" Rae exclaims "No. I need to get a few more things. You guys can go to the front if you want, I'll meet you when I'm done." Paige says trying to make them not be annoyed anymore, as they all have been at the store for almost two hours, getting stuff they all needed or wanted in their houses. All of their feet's are starting to hurt and not mention they all have been stopped by fans like every 5 minutes.

"No, we're not gonna leave you alone when we've been stopped like 100 times already by fans. What else do you need to get? And why was it so important you get legos today?"Cameron cuts in before any of the other girls could "I need to get some cookie dough, tru fru, milk, chicken tenders, mac and cheese, carrots, mixed fruit, and a stuffed animal. And to answer your second question, Lilah got a B+ on her spelling test and a C+ on her math test, so we're gonna have a mama-daughter date night. The legos, Tru fru, and Stuffed animal are her reward and the food is her favorite meal, and we always bake something on m&d nights." Paige tells them "wait she passed? Those were the ones she was struggling with right?" Rickea asked "yeah, I was helping her study words in the locker room." Cameron cuts in before Paige can say anything "yeah she was struggling with those subjects a lot, so that's why I'm giving her a reward. She doesn't know that I know yet, as her teacher told me so it's gonna be a surprise."

"Alright so let's split up, me and cam will go get the cookie dough, milk, tru fru, and chicken tenders. You and Rae go get the stuffed animal, carrots, Mac and cheese, and mixed fruit. We can meet up at the self checkout. What kind of cookie dough and tru fru?" Rickea adds

"Chocolate chip cookie dough and for tru fru, bananas and strawberries." Paige answers making Rickea nod, and start turning around making Paige and Rae start doing the same, heading to where the stuffed animals are. "Hey Paige, wait" Rickea stops and turns around making P and Rae also do that "when you’re getting the stuffed animal, get some mini brands and lol dolls. I know Lil likes that stuff, My treat." Rickea continues "alright. Are you sure?" P asks "yep, I'm positive." Rickea says making Paige nod "ok, Thank you." Paige replies making Rickea nod and turn back around,- both groups going in different directions to get the rest of the stuff.

They all met up like planned and payed for their own stuff, Paige dropped them off at Cameron's apartment as they’re all getting ready together to go to a bar, and Paige took all her store bags home and set up what could be set up, before leaving to go pick lilah up from school. On the drive back to their home P told lilah that there was a surprise waiting for her making her get excited and start asking and guessing what it was. Obviously Paige wouldn't tell her.

When they got home Lilah was rushing Paige to unbuckle her and get her out of the car, at least Lilah still followed those rules when P knew she really wanted to just run to the house. Paige lifted her out of the car and set her on the ground "don't run yet, I need to get a few things from the car alright?" Paige asks her making Lilah immediately pout, Paige has learned to just ignored that though.

P made her way to the trunk and got her bag and lilahs school bag and then shut the trunk, lilah was still bouncing on the heels of her feet "cmon mama, I wanna see the surprise"

"Alright Alright, come here" Paige says chuckling slightly. P picks lilah up and put her on her hip and locks the car with her keys, then started making her way to the elevator to take the two of them to their apartment

Lilah is still trying to guess what it is and has listed the surprise about 4 times but P lied each time and said she was wrong. They make it to their apartment and Paige set Lilah down in front of the door, grabbed the keys out of her pocket - unlocking and opening the door for Lilah, which she immediately runs through.

She looks in the kitchen first and doesn't see anything as P put all the food away when she dropped the bags off, then she goes into the living room. Bingo!

She sees the legos, stuffed animal, lol dolls, and mini brands set up on the table, she sees the blankets and pillows that Paige brought out and put on the couch, and she sees their favorite game show "the circle" loaded up on the tv

"MAMA AND DAUGHTER DAY?!" She yells mispronouncing daughter "yep! You did so good on your math and spelling test, I figured you deserved a reward. Rickea bought you the lol dolls and mini brands though so you’ll need to thank her next time you see her. "

"I will! Thank you mama!" "Your welcome princess! But there is more, for dinner we are gonna have chicken tenders, mac and cheese, mixed fruit, and carrots. For dessert I got chocolate chip cookie dough, and another part of your reward is tru fru." She just squealed and ran up hugging Paige’s legs, P bent down a little and put one of her hands on Lilahs head and the other on her back, trying her best to hug Lilah back with the gaint height difference

"Alright babe, why don't you go get changed into your pjs and we will start dinner once you come back?" "Okay!" Lilah says and then runs off to her room

Paige goes to the kitchen and gets the chicken and mac and cheese out, filling a pot with water and turning the stove on. Once that's done P goes to her room and changes into her green plaid pj pants and a UConn zip up jacket. Walking back into the kitchen Paige sees Lilah wearing her Olaf onesie Azzi bought her so they could match, standing on her foot stool, leaning on the kitchen counter watching the water

"You ready to make dinner?" Paige asks her while walking closer and looking into the pot of water, seeing that it is boiling "yeah!" Paige opens the box of Kraft Mac and cheese and hand it to her "dump that in the water"

After they made dinner and ate it, they put the leftovers away and got comfortable in the living room, setting blankets and pillows on the floor and making a giant bed/ pillow type thing in front of the living room table

Lilah decided she wanted to open the lol dolls and mini brands now, so while she was doing that Paige opened the Disney castle Legos and started reading the instructions

"Mama look" Lilah said excitedly making Paige look over at her and see her holding a few small food items from the mini brands "wow baby, you’re gonna have your very own pantry soon" that made Lilah giggle a little bit. Once she saw what P was doing Lilah put the other stuff away and pointed to the tv "circle?" Paige asked even though she knew what Lilah wanted, already grabbing the remote and turning on Netflix while she was nodding.

Once the shows turned on they both start working together (pretty much just Paige, while Lilah plays with the legos) to build the Disney castle. Eventually it was built and they cleaned up their mess, laying down on the couch and Lilah laying on Paige’s chest. Paige turned on a Disney movie for Lilah but she fell asleep holding onto Paige’s jacket not even 15 minutes in.

🏷️ @melpthatsme @rebecca-woso @authentic-girl03

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers x fem!reader #paige bueckers x reader #paige x reader #uconn x reader #paige bueckers x oc #uconn wbb #paige bueckers fic #paige bueckers x daughter!oc #starlighttsv’s works ✍️

100 notes · View notes

justtheclippy · 1 day ago

Text

Tips and FAQ for Asks

Hello beautiful humans, I want to do my best to get to everyone's asks so here are a few things you can do to help make that happen! (if you're looking for the cast stream master list, skip to the bottom)

Please don't spam the same question repeatedly. I will get to you eventually, I promise! But when you submit the exact same thing multiple times, it just slows me down. I've got one single brain cell, please have mercy.

No spoiler requests. I cannot tell you anything about future episodes, when they will come out, what will happen to certain characters, how the story ends etc. We're limited on what we can say in general until more episodes release. The entire cast has signed NDAs (non disclosure agreement) preventing us from revealing anything, but more than that, we wouldn't want to ruin your experience of watching and engaging with the show organically! Trust me, just enjoy the ride, it's better that way.

Don't take anything too seriously. Please keep in mind most of these answers will just be for fun. My thoughts and opinions on the character, both for silly things like favorite dessert and more serious things like character analysis, are not hard and fast canon. Same goes for any of the actors. We can speculate about our characters, we know and understand them well, but when in doubt, assume its allllllllllllll non-canonical haha

Read through previous asks. This will help prevent asking things I've already answered. I'm going to be tagging (i swear I'll do it fr) my answers with #amanda asks and #tadc asks so you can find them more easily. If you do ask a question I've already answered IT'S OK DON'T PANIC I won't be upset haha

Even though I'll be tagging my answers so you can easily find them, here are a few frequently asked questions just to get them out of the way. If you decide to ask me something I've already answered, or something that goes against the guidelines above, I'll probably skip it, you silly geese.

Q: I've seen people use several different pronouns for you, what are your preferred pronouns? A: They/them and I prefer masc leaning terms generally! I'm queer, NB and very open about my identity. But people will sometimes use she/her because they don't know. I will never get upset with someone for not knowing- it's ok. But now that you've read this, you know! So you can go forth educated. You're welcome to correct anyone who doesn't know, but please be kind to each other. We've all been the person who didn't know before.

Q: What do you think of X ship? A: I love and support all the ships! Ships are part of a healthy fandom, keep creating content that makes you feel seen and that YOU want to see, that's the foundation of creativity. And if anyone disagrees with you, remind them that a lot of classics are just fanfiction about the gods at the time. It's always been here.

Q: What is your favorite ship? A: Bunnydoll and Buttonblossom, because the dynamics are so much fun.

Q: Do you like X AU? A: Yes. It doesn't matter what it is, yes. I love the AUs and if it's a new one, you better include a link so I can find it. I want all of them, thank you so muuuuuuuuch~

Q: Have you seen or played X game/show/movie/meme etc.? A: Always happy to chat about other media! But if you wanna ask about something specific, please include a link or explanation because lets be just so very honest, half the time my brain is off in adhd land so there's a good chance I'll have no idea what you're talking about at first.

Q: Have you watched Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure? A: Not yet! But due to VERY POPULAR REQUEST I will be putting together a watch stream to watch it live with yall. Once that's happened, I'll put the link here.

Q: Have you seen Queen's second game and will you be playing it? A: Yes, we've all seen the trailer and we're very excited! We will be playing it as a full cast, just like last time, as soon as the game is finished. For now, please go enjoy the demo and support the team! Once it's out and we're ready to stream it, I'll post the link here.

Q: Can you come to X convention? A: I will come to any convention that yall want to see me at!

BUT

In order for that to happen, you have to request me directly with the convention. Most will have either a request form on their site or a specific email for requests. Just write in that you would like to see me at their event, and then they will get in touch with my agent to book me!

Q: Can I request a song for you to sing? A: Of course! I promise yall I'll do my best to put out more songs this year. If there's a cover you want me to consider doing, or an artist/composer you'd like to hear me work with, let me know!

Outside of that, if you just want a little clip, you can drop requests in the asks and if I know the song I might record a bit. This is COMPLETELY dependent on time, especially if I'm busy. Please understand ❤️

You can also make requests during stream signings, which is easier to accommodate in the moment. Just put the request in the order notes, and I'll sing a little bit for you while I sign IF I know the song. So choose wisely.

Q: Can I write an ask just to show you cool stuff or tell you you're awesome? A: Of course you can! You can also tag me in stuff, that's ok too. I appreciate all the love and support yall have shown for me, Ragatha and the show in general. Yall are truly incredible. ❤️

Q: Do you have a PO Box so we can send you stuff? A: I'm setting it up THIS WEEK. I will post it here when it's ready.

Q: Where can I find X stream that the cast did? A: Moving forward, I will keep a master list of our group streams in order of date aired, to the best of my ability. If I miss one, let me know and I'll get it on here!

Saberspark TADC Cast Interview

Streamily Signing #1 (Amanda, Michael, Alex, Marissa)

Streamily Signing #2 (Amanda and Michael)

Streamily Signing #3 (Amanda and Sean)

Streamily Signing #4 (Amanda, Sean, Alex, Michael, Marissa, Vera, Hamish)

TADC Fan Game Stream: Game 1

Streamily Signing #5 (Amanda, Alex, Ashley, Sean, Michael, Marissa, Vera, Hamish, Wiz)

Fast Food Simulator Charity Stream (Amanda, Lizzie, Marissa, Michael, Ashley)

#amanda asks #tadc asks #tadc cast stream master list #tadc cast stream #tadc cast #tadc #ragatha #amazing digital circus #the amazing digital circus #q and a #faq

133 notes · View notes

genderqueerdykes · 2 days ago

Note

hello, i have a question concerning one of your recent posts talking about trans men, ftm and other male or mspec people being lesbians. i mean this in the most respectful way possible, but how could a trans man be a lesbian? isnt the whole point non men loving non men? im sorry if youve got this question before and thanks for answering in advance if you do

i get this question all the time lol but i don't mind answering. thanks for taking the time to ask!

that is radfem rhetoric that you've picked up from other people inadvertently- lesbian does not mean "non man loving non man," as gay does not mean "non woman loving non woman". "gay" is a form of queer attraction, so is lesbian. if we don't define "gay" by who we leave out, why are we doing so with lesbianism? we do not define who we are attracted to by who we leave out, that makes no sense. lesbian is a form of queer attraction that can include as many people as an individual feels is right for them. if we say "non men" to include nonbinary people why are we excluding nonbinary and other trans people who also happen to be men as well? some people are "non men" and men at the same time, so do we exclude them, too, or do we include them?

the logic falls apart instantly the second we remind ourselves that multigender, genderfluid, gender non conforming, genderqueer, (masc) nonbinary, genderfuck and other people who completely break the gender binary. and a lot of them are men and mascs. lesbians should not have to be shoved inside of a cis butch woman - cis femme woman dichotomy and nothing else. we've been tricked into thinking like radfems by viewing "proper" lesbian relationships as relationships between cis lesbians and feminine afab nonbinary lesbians (who are being viewed as cis women in this scenario) and nobody else. we need to allow lesbianism to be diverse, otherwise, we will continue this radfem echo chamber that has been going on for decades!

we must also consider that lesbian is a form of queer attraction, so it can include lots of experiences, just like gay can. nonbinary people, genderqueer people, trans people of all genders can use "gay" how they see fit, whether it means they're attracted to men, women, nonbinary people, intersex people, genderfluid people, and so on. people of all genders are allowed to do the same thing with dyke, sapphic and lesbian as well! the most common useage of the word lesbian is to mean wlw, but that doesn't mean every single lesbian, dyke and sapphic explains it that way. some lesbians, dykes and sapphics experience multiple modes of attraction! some are bi, pan, poly, omni and so on

lesbianism and men are not polar opposites. lesbians can be multigender or genderfluid. lesbians can be transmascs and trans men and guys and boys and men. lesbians can be boydykes and guydykes. many trans men and mascs start out in the lesbian community and find their home there. some find they never stop feeling like lesbians or butches or dykes. there are two-spirit lesbians who are also men. this is totally okay. this sort of thing can hurt intersex lesbians. this kind of thinking can hurt transfem lesbians and lesbian trans women as well if transphobic people consider them "men". we need to stop trying to exclude as many people as we can from lesbianism, and focusing on including people instead. lesbian is not and well not ever be an exclusive term that only applies to women and women only. let's be real, "non men" just means very feminine nonbinary people and ""women-lite"" enbies. this doesn't apply to masc enbies and trans people, because where does the line between "non man" and "man" begin? it doesn't exist

hope that helps! thanks for taking the time to ask! have a wonderful day you can also search the tags on this post on my blog as i talk about this a lot! :) this works best in desktop or in a browser on mobile.

104 notes · View notes

itsjaywalkers · 2 days ago

Text

nada que perder

jegulus microfic (not really micro tho you guys know me lmao) | 3.4k | very questionable age gap (it's left ambiguous in this one but reg is 17 and james is . 31) (nothing actually happens between them but just in case), unrequited love (or is it..), loosely based in this spanish show i've been obsessed with lately

James climbs up the rusty stairs of the building as he rolls his shoulders lightly, in an attempt to get rid of the sense of unfamiliarity hanging off him. He supposes that he just needs some time to become used to the new place, but he spent years and years of his life coming over to Alphard’s old house. And besides, this flat isn’t exactly an upgrade from the little estate where the man had been living in less than a month ago.

But, then again, this development is partly James’ fault, so he probably shouldn’t be sharing his opinion on the place, or the new neighbourhood for that matter. It’s already bad enough that he, Alphard and Frank have all been transferred to Orion’s station. Shitty flats and mildly dangerous neighbourhoods are the least of their worries.

He rubs at his eyes, fingers slipping under his glasses, before he lets out a soft sigh. Honestly, this whole thing feels like a fucking joke. If it weren’t for Alphard and Frank, James would’ve already quit. Sure, he loves his job—most of the time, at least—but not enough to bear this kind of torture. He has to answer to Lucius Malfoy now, for fuck’s sake. The thought of it is almost enough to make him nauseous.

James sighs one more time, and then he finally knocks on the door. He hears some shuffling inside nearly immediately, and some muffled yelling that drags a little smile out of him.

The door opens less than twenty seconds later, James being greeted with a pair of steely eyes and tousled black curls.

His grin widens.

“Oh,” the boy mumbles, leaning against the doorframe. He doesn’t reciprocate James’ smile, but he visibly brightens, gaze turning soft around the edges. “Hi, James.”

“Hey,” James greets him back with a slight tilt of his head. “Is Regulus now, right?”

The boy nods, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Yeah,” Regulus replies, suddenly sounding a little shy. He averts his eyes, and James has to bite his tongue to stop himself from poking fun at him. “You like it?”

“‘Course,” James says without missing a beat, and he truly means it. It took a bit to get used to, that’s why he refused to visit Alphard for a couple of weeks, until he was sure he wasn’t going to slip up. But he believes it suits the boy perfectly. “It’s really pretty.”

“You think so?” Regulus questions, staring up at James with big, shiny eyes. There’s a soft pink spreading all over his cheeks.

“Absolutely. And I can still call you Reggie.”

“Always,” Regulus agrees with a tiny nod. The corners of his mouth twitch, and even though his lips don’t completely curl upwards, James still takes it as a win. “Do you want to come in?”

James chuckles gently. “That was kinda the plan, yes.”

The blush on Regulus’ face worsens, but then he’s stepping aside, turning his head away from James. Still, the tip of his ears are red, and all that colour seems to spread even down his neck and to his collarbones, which are peeking from his white shirt. Regulus doesn’t seem to be wearing anything apart from his briefs under them, so James assumes he must be getting ready for school.

“Where’s your uncle?” James asks as he begins to make his way down the hall before Regulus slides in front of him, halting his advances.

“Why? Are you here to pick him up?” Regulus arches an eyebrow. James represses a snort at the way the boy has to crane his neck up to look him in the eye. He thinks Regulus might be trying to appear intimidating.

“Yup. First day on the new station and all, figured it would be nice,” James says with a shrug. “Also, he’ll end up being late otherwise.”

Regulus huffs. “That is if he even shows up.”

“Oh, he will. I’ll make sure of it, trust me.”

“Good. Andy will kill him otherwise.”

“I’m surprised she hasn’t yet,” James admits, amused.

“She nearly did, when my uncle first dropped the news,” Regulus sighs, tucking a curl behind his ear. “She wasn’t very happy about moving. And seeing the flat definitely didn’t help.”

James clicks his tongue, eyes roaming briefly around the hall, and even though there isn’t much to see just yet, he understands Andromeda’s reluctance quite well. The walls are stained near the ceiling, and most of the paint is chipped. He catches sight of a box at the end of the hall, probably because they still haven’t had time to finish unpacking. The carpet looks old and worn-out and like it hasn’t been cleaned in years. James has to make an active effort to not turn his nose up at the sight of it.

“C’mon, it’s not that bad,” James mutters, avoiding Regulus’ eyes as he runs a hand through his hair. “It has a—a certain charm. It’s sort of, um, cosy? In a way? Yeah, ah, very cosy, and, and welcoming—”

Regulus lets out a little snort, but before it can develop into a proper laugh, the boy covers his mouth with a hand, pressing harshly and schooling his expression into something more serious.

“Shut up,” Regulus murmurs, gaze downcast. James can only smirk at him, before he attempts to pull the boy’s hand away from his face. He doesn’t get far, because Regulus swats his fingers, but it’s worth it nonetheless, if only because of the roll of eyes and the tiny smile it earns him. “You’re not funny.”

“Really? Because you were laughing,” James teases him cheekily, crouching slightly to take a peek at his grin.

Regulus turns his face away, but James doesn’t miss the way his lips spread a little wider.

“Barely,” the boy sniffs. “This place fucking sucks.”

James feigns a gasp, clutching dramatically at his chest. “My god, Reggie,” James scolds him halfheartedly. “The mouth on you. What would your uncle say?”

“Please, my uncle is even worse,” Regulus scoffs. James can only chuckle under his breath because, well, yeah. Alphard swears even more than James, and that’s saying a lot.

“Still. You used to be so proper with your words,” James points out, raising both eyebrows. “Such an obedient boy.”

“Well, not anymore,” Regulus retorts with a defiant raise of his chin. He’s still blushing, however, so it doesn’t have much of an effect. Not like Regulus could ever inspire in James anything apart from fondness. Maybe exasperation too, on occasion, because he does love to be difficult just for the sake of it. “I’m almost an adult now, you know.”

James snorts loudly, a furrow immediately appearing in Regulus’ brow. “Is that so?”

“Are you mocking me?” Regulus inquires, voice tight, his mouth twisting into a pout.

“Never.” James places a hand over his heart, shaking his head as he bites the inside of his cheek to keep his grin at bay. “It’s just—you’re barely seventeen, Reggie.”

“Like I said, almost an adult,” Regulus insists with a firm nod.

“Yeah, okay. Whatever you say.”

“And you know what that means, right, James?”

Regulus’ expression shifts as he takes a step closer, until there’s nearly no space between their bodies. Regulus watches him from under his lashes, eyes wide and bright and puppy-like, the red on his cheeks still very much there, and James tenses up almost immediately.

He considers stepping away, but ultimately decides against it. Showing any kind of reaction will only get Regulus’ hopes up, regardless of rejection. James must remain either indifferent or mildly amused. The boy will see anything else as a possible open, and James can’t have that. Not when they’ve been treading this very thin line for nearly a year.

James had hoped that this… change, or discovery, or whatever Regulus prefers to call it, would help with his silly crush on James, but apparently coming out as a boy hasn’t diffused Regulus’ feelings. If anything, it only seems to have made him bolder.

“Sure,” James replies, shrugging one shoulder, his tone casual. “It means you’re gonna be eighteen.”

Regulus exhales loudly through his nose, and James has to repress the sudden urge to coo and pinch his cheeks.

He looks so disappointed. James hates to be the one to put that sort of expression on that adorable face, but he refuses to entertain his delusions, no matter how much he cares about him.

“Yes,” Regulus agrees, stilted. “Legally an adult.”

“You’re always gonna be a kid in my eyes.”

Regulus’ frown becomes even more pronounced, and his pout comes back full force. James’ heart gives a painful flip at the sight, and he can’t help but hate himself a little because of it.

“Anyways, are you gonna let me through, or…” James says, scratching at the side of his jaw, at his stubble. “No offence, Reggie, you know I love our chats, but—”

“In a moment,” Regulus mutters, squirming a little in place before he puffs out his chest and meets James’ gaze head on. “You haven’t greeted me properly.”

James blinks at him, and then raises an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Because I’m pretty sure I said hi as soon as you opened the door—”

“That’s not what I mean,” Regulus protests, and for a second, James is convinced he’s going to stomp his foot. “It’s just—you’ve always been more affectionate, and I, I haven’t seen you in weeks, and because now I look like—like this, so different, then maybe—”

“Reggie, love, it has nothing to do with that, you hear me?” James cuts him off a bit more sharply than intended, one of his hands twitching with the need to reach out. “Nothing. You’re still the same to me, and the care and affection I feel for you—that’s never gonna change, okay?”

“Okay,” Regulus responds in a whisper, gaze so filled with adoration James nearly has to look away.

He sighs. “Fine, what do you want? A hug? You missed me that much, Reggie?”

“Yes, I did,” Regulus tells him without missing a beat, and James’ teasing smile falls slightly. He swallows. “And I was thinking about a kiss, actually.”

“Reg,” James says, the warning clear in his tone.

“On the cheek!” Regulus rushes to clarify, blinking rapidly at him, all innocent and genuine. James knows better than to believe him, though. “You used to kiss me on the cheek constantly.”

“Yeah, when you were, like, fourteen—”

“Didn’t you say I’m always going to be a kid in your eyes? It shouldn’t make that much of a difference.”

“I guess, but—”

“Come on, Jamie,” Regulus insists, whiny and needy and so sweet, always so painfully sweet. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“I know, Reggie, and I missed you too, I really did, but I’m just not sure if that’s a good idea—”

“Please,” Regulus murmurs, pressing even closer, to the point James can feel the warmth radiating from the boy’s body. Suddenly, he’s hyper aware of his state of undress, of the fact that he’s only wearing briefs under his school shirt.

James traps his lower lip between his teeth, and he pretends that he doesn’t notice the way Regulus follows the movement with his eyes, pupils dilating.

He should refuse. James knows he should refuse. This madness has been going on for far too long, since Regulus was fifteen, and what James used to believe was sort of cute and natural, something that would pass on its own after a few months, has been growing to the point James feels like it’s getting out of his control. And now that Regulus seems to be feeling confident enough to do more than glance longingly at him and blush whenever James is close, he knows he ought to put a definite end to it. Nip the whole thing from the bud. Even if that means breaking Regulus’ heart. It’ll be better for him in the long run.

The problem is that James has never been good at denying Regulus anything. He’s always been his only weakness, and that hasn’t changed. James doesn’t think it ever will.

“Okay,” James sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, but his mouth twitches helplessly when Regulus beams at him. “But only one,” he reminds the boy, raising a finger and pointing it at Regulus, who nods quickly. “And on the cheek. No games, Reggie, and I fucking mean that.”

“I swear,” Regulus assures him, nodding once more. He’s getting on his tiptoes a second later, and James exhales softly, staying put, allowing Regulus to go for it.

At first, Regulus does keep his word. He presses his lips softly to the high of James’ cheek, and automatically, not giving it much thought, James wraps an arm around Regulus’ waist, hand resting on the small of his back. He feels the boy’s smile against the side of his face.

Regulus lingers there for longer than necessary, but James indulges him, endlessly endeared. And besides, he did mean it when he said that he had missed Regulus. He adores the boy, and putting some distance between them wasn’t an easy choice. It’s been hard on James, too, even though he’s aware that he’s doing the right thing. Having Regulus in his arms once again feels good, and James wishes it could always be like this. Easy affection and sweet touches.

James squeezes lightly and Regulus finally pulls away, a big smile taking all over his expression. However, he doesn’t go too far, and after looking at James for a couple of seconds, he dives in again, although this time, his mouth changes trajectory, the intentions behind the movement clear.

He manages to avoid it at the last second, turning his head enough for Regulus’ lips to press against the corner of his mouth instead. James stiffens up, fingers spasming where they’re resting on Regulus’ back, on his waist. The scent of strawberries fills his senses, making James slightly dizzy, urging him to bury his nose in those lovely curls, to pull the boy even closer.

James makes sure to swat the idea away before it can take root, before his body can think of listening to it.

“Regulus,” James hisses in warning.

The boy giggles against his skin, but he obeys, stepping away, a mischievous grin curving his lips. James pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek, and wills himself not to yell.

He still has his arms wrapped around Regulus.

“Oops,” the boy comments, not sounding apologetic in the slightest. “My bad.”

“You can’t do that shit, Reg,” James tells him sternly, and yet, his voice doesn’t come off as angry as it probably should. “We’ve talked about this. You know better. Fuck, this isn’t—”

“Okay, okay,” Regulus huffs out, still smiling, raising his hands in mock surrender. He can be such a menace. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again, yeah? I promise.”

“I’m not sure if I can trust you after what you just pulled—”

“Don’t be a baby, Jamie, it was nothing—”

“You and I both know it’s not so simple—”

“Regulus!” a voice exclaims from somewhere behind the boy. Andromeda. “Who is it!?”

“It’s just James!” he answers in the same tone.

James lets go of Regulus as if burnt, and he also takes a few steps away from him, just in case, his heartbeat quickening to the point he can hear it rumbling inside his head. Regulus watches him with his head tilted to the side, blinking at him with feigned confusion.

He squints his eyes at the boy, his jaw clenched, but before he gets the chance to open his mouth, Andromeda’s head is poking out from the end of the hall, smile pulling wide at his lips the moment her eyes settle on James.

James forces himself to reciprocate the gesture, swallowing back down the bile that tries to climb up his throat.

“What are you doing, standing there like an idiot?” she huffs out, visibly amused. “Come in! I bet you haven’t had any breakfast yet.”

“I had a coffee,” James argues, adjusting his belt and the holster attached to it. “And a fag.”

“Typical,” Andromeda scoffs. “Luckily for you, there’s more than enough food for you too. I had a feeling you were gonna be here today.”

“You know me too well.”

“That, and Alphard has been whining all morning about how he refuses to go to work.”

James lets out a resigned sigh. “Figures. Don’t worry, Andy, I’ll drag his stubborn ass to the station myself.”

“Good,” she chuckles, and then he’s focusing on Regulus, his expression shifting into something more serious. “And you, go get dressed! It’s nearly eight already, you’re gonna be late at this rate and you haven’t even finished your breakfast yet.”

“Fine,” Regulus groans, rolling his eyes so hard his head tilts back. He turns around, beginning to make his way towards his cousin, but not without throwing one last glance at James over his shoulders, giving him a cheeky smile.

“Hurry up,” Andromeda urges him, swatting him with the cloth she’s holding when Regulus walks past her. “If we get another call about your tardiness you’re gonna be grounded for a bloody month.”

“But I already missed the bus,” Regulus complains. “I’m gonna have to walk again—”

“Fuck, Regulus, you’re a mess.” Andromeda shuts her eyes briefly, massaging her temples. “This is why you should’ve agreed to leave with Sirius, he could’ve given you a ride—”

“Over my dead body,” Regulus snarls, hands curling into fists.

Andromeda clicks her tongue, and James arches an eyebrow at her, the question clear in the gesture.

“They’re currently not speaking to each other,” she explains, deadpan. “Again.”

James isn’t quick enough to suppress a snort, and he has to purse his lips to keep more from coming when Regulus turns to scowl at him.

“What happened this time?” he asks her, despite all his attention being on Regulus.

“None of your fucking business,” Regulus snaps as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Sirius is just being a prick, is all.”

“Language,” Andromeda scolds him, but it’s weak, half-hearted. She focuses on James a second later, and she seems to light up a little. “Oi, James, could you drive Reg and Tonks to school? Please?”

Regulus visibly perks up at this, and he gives James a pleading look, the puppy-like kind, the one James has always been unable to resist.

“Uh,” he starts, running a hand through his hair, avoiding both Regulus and Andromeda’s gazes. “I don’t know, Andy, it’s the first day on the new job, and me and the guys can’t afford to—”

“It shouldn’t take too long,” Andromeda insists. “Reg won’t make it in time otherwise, and he can’t afford to be late again. And Ted can’t drop Tonks off at school today, he had to leave early for a meeting—”

“Fine, fine, okay!” James interrupts her, cursing himself internally. “But we need to leave in ten, yeah?”

“Thank you!” Andromeda says, rushing down the hall to hug James so tightly he swears his ribs crack. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! Honestly, what would we do without you?”

“I ask myself that question every morning,” James huffs with a shake of his head. He raises his head, gazing at Regulus over Andromeda’s shoulder. “C’mon, Reggie, go get ready. And bring Tonks too.”

Regulus nods, and the grin he offers James rivals the goddamn sun. “You’re the best, Jamie.”

He disappears around the corner right after, and James feels a pull at his stomach he attributes to its emptiness. Perhaps Andromeda, with all her nagging, is right. She does tend to be, after all.

“I owe you one,” she sighs, pulling away. She squeezes James’ arms gently, smiling up at him, and then she’s grabbing him by the wrist and pulling, dragging him with her down the hall. “Now let’s get you something to eat, you have time for some toast before you leave.”

“Don’t be silly, you don’t owe me shit. You never do. I’m happy to help, Andy. You’re family. All of you are,” James tells her honestly, barely repressing a wince. “I won’t say no to some toast, though,” he adds a bit cheekily.

Andromeda throws her head back and laughs, and all of James’ worries vanish with the sound.

Or at least, the ones that don’t concern a certain black-haired boy do.

#silly little drabbles #is this a bit fucked up . perhaps #but so so so delicious too..#i've been obsessed with this dynamic for days now #both bc of the show and bc . well . it's jegulus #and with the excuse of writing a couple of scenes for this au i've sort of created a story for it and now im invested #anyways .#i hope u enjoy this #i feel like this might be what finally gets me cancelled lol #instead of all the incest posting

53 notes · View notes

astars-things · 1 day ago

Text

mom?

so I have written a fic similar to this, but y/n was young, and Jack made up a reason, read it -> here, but now that she is older, he decides to tell her the truth

reader is 15

jack is 34

I was lounging in my room, my laptop balanced on my legs and my phone in my hand. YouTube was playing in the background while I mindlessly scrolled through Instagram. Suddenly, a message popped up. I glanced at the number, but it wasn’t saved in my contacts. Thinking it might be one of Dad’s teammates, I tapped on it without much thought.

The second I read the message, my heart started pounding so hard it felt like it was echoing in my head.

Hey bub, it’s me—your mom. How are you?

I immediately jumped out of bed and bolted down the stairs, my heart racing. I found my dad sitting on the couch, casually watching TV.

"Hey, Dad," I called out, my voice shaking slightly. he turned to look at me.

"Yes, Y/N?" Dad replied, his tone calm and curious.

I opened my mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, I handed him my phone, unable to explain.

As Dad read the message, his face turned pale, the color draining from it almost instantly. My chest tightened as I watched his reaction, my thoughts spiraling out of control.

"How did she even get my number?" I started rambling, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I barely give it out to anyone! I’ve never even met her in my 15 years of living, so why is she randomly texting me now?"

“Breathe, hun,” Dad said softly, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

But it didn’t feel okay. It felt messy, confusing, and overwhelming. I always knew I didn’t have a mom—it was something I had accepted a long time ago. But I never really understood why.

“Why don’t I have a mom?” I blurted out, the question spilling from my lips before I could stop it. It was something I’d wondered for years but never had the courage to ask.

Dad sighed, sitting back against the couch and running a hand through his hair. “Well… you deserve the truth.” His voice was calm but heavy, and I could tell this wasn’t an easy thing for him to talk about.

“Your mom and I… we were together since high school,” he began. “When I got drafted to New Jersey, she moved here with me to support my hockey career. A year later, we had you. But after you were born, she decided she didn’t want to be tied down—to New Jersey, to this life, to being a mom. She made the decision to leave.”

He paused, glancing at me carefully. “It wasn’t easy, Y/N. Raising a newborn while building an NHL career was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I had you, and that made it all worth it. I wouldn’t change a thing about having you.”

I stared at him, my mind racing. “So she just… left? Just like that?”

He nodded, his eyes filled with a mix of sadness and love. “Yeah. She left. But that doesn’t change how much I love you or how proud I am of you. We’ve made it this far together, haven’t we?”

I nodded slowly, the weight of his words sinking in. It didn’t answer everything—like how she got my number—but it was a start.

#send in requests #imagines #jack hughes #jack hughes x daughter!reader #jack hughes as a dad #jack hughes x reader #nj devils #nhl imagine #nhl

35 notes · View notes

uselessmoonlight · 22 hours ago

Text

Imagine: you disguised yourself as a man on Odysseus' ship.

♡♡♡

Content specs:

Hermes x reader, Circe x reader, entrapment?, kidnapping?, Hermes being a little shit, she/her pronouns, female reader, the word darling is abused, Eurylochus is an asshole.

I definitely wasn't inspired by Mulan...

Check the reblogs for a short continuation.

♡♡♡

You wanted to fight, you were strong, trained, strategic, and your father? He was well past his glory days. You could not, in your right mind, allow him to fight in this war, and you hadn't. For more than 10 years you'd kept your gender hidden as you fought bravely against the Trojans.

You kept a low profile, not wanting to catch any unwanted attention, you followed orders, you were ruthless on the battle field. In short you were the perfect soldier.

Then came the journey home. 10 years of war had wore you down, but you prevailed. Even when faced with the God of tides you were able to keep your identity hidden, but then came different circumstances.

You'd not gone with Eurylochus to scout out the island, having a few things to do on deck. Polites' death had left you with more tasks to complete, he used to be the one to keep track of the supplies. You missed him. You'd lost a friend and gained a shit ton of work on top of your own, one of which weighed heavier than the other.

♡♡♡

Having completed your work, you left the ship. The crew had docked at a beautiful island, it felt surprisingly serene. Your captain was only a few paces away, but clearly needed some space. The loss of the fleet weighed heavy on you, you couldn't imagine what he felt as their captain and king.

A flushed Eurylochus caught your attention. Odysseus questioned him and the answer of his state filled you with a strange sense of hope.

A woman.

You'd been at war, at sea, woth men who were not very respectful. You'd seen the atrocities done to the people who shared your gender, and had nit been able to do anything about it. But most of those men had been lost to the tides, the soldiers on Odysseus' ship were more respectful. Mainly because the captain's love for the queen allowed no room for misogyny, not on his ship.

"Not to insert myself, or speak ill of your plan, but perhaps I could speak to the witch." You interrupted their discussion.

"And what could you do to the witch, that the captain could not?" Eurylochus replied, accusingly. But the captain held up his hand, stopping the second in command from speaking any more.

"I believe she'd be more willing to hear out another woman."

"And what do you suggest we do? Dress up? Wait for one to magically fall out of the sky?"

"Shush, Eurylochus, let him speak." The captain intervened again.

"I am a woman. I'm surprised it took this long for my secret to be discovered." You state.

Odysseus smiled. "Polites was aware. He came to me about it. Concerned for your wellbeing if one of the crew members were to find out."

Your heart swelled and broke at the same time. Your greatest friend had kept the secret you weren't even aware he knew of. And so had your captain.

♡♡♡

Your captain insisted on escorting you to the palace, ready to step in if you needed him to. But an unexpected presence stopped the both of you in your tracks.

Hermes. A God you'd prayed to for safe travels, a God who'd heeded your prayers, a God who was here, in the flesh, offering a deal.

He'd help you, but dealing with Gods always came with a price. One you'd only find out if you won. How selfless.

"In the root of this flower, lies the power to take her on. Once you digest it, you'll be able to manifest a being of your creation, if you're creative enough. It'll only exist until the fight is over." The God explained. "Open up, darling, no time to waste." He said, putting his hand under her chin.

He placed the flower in her mouth and pressed it closed, swiping his thumb over her lower lip. "Chop chop, you haven't got all day." He said, giving her a lopsided smirk.

"Lady of the palace, sorry that I ask this..."

♡♡♡

The fight had gone in her favour, as had the negotiation. That was until Circe asked her: "Why would you risk your life to save these men?"

"I risk my life, not for these men, but for my captain who would not leave without them, and who has a wife and son waiting for him to return. There's nothing in this world that he wants more than the company of his beloved. I risk my life for my fallen comrades, one in particular, who's lives I do not want to end in vain. If they cannot return, they must do so for them. I risk my life, as I've nothing left to return to and I would welcome death with open arms. So I beg you, Circe, let these men free."

"I will let those men free, and I offer one thing more. Stay. You've nothing to return to, so why suffer trying to get to a home that's no longer yours. Why suffer the wrath of Poseidon for a wrongdoing not of your own? Stay with me and my nymphs, we will treat you well. You'll no longer have to fear a man's selfishness."

"No can do little witch, she's made a deal with me. Isn't that right, darling." A familiar, but unexpected voice interrupted.

"Hermes, so you're the one who aided her? I should've known." Circe mused. "Very well, but if you are ever free of this deal, know you are welcome here, love." The witch almost purred.

"May I say goodbye to my captain?" You asked the messenger God.

"I'm feeling generous today, let's go say bye to my great grandson." He replied, picking her up, and flying her outside.

♡♡♡

"This is entirely unnecessary, my feet work perfectly fine, please put me down, and oh my Gods that's high up." You hid your face in the crook of his neck, feeling the vibrations from his laughter.

"You can look, were almost on solid ground, darling."

"Before I say goodbye, what exactly does this deal entail?"

He smirked at her. "Their freedom cost you yours, but don't worry darling, I'll treat you nicely, and I won't turn you into a pig."

And as she looked at the beautiful man, she did not think this deal was a bad one.

#epic the musical #epic the circe saga #epic the hermes saga #epic hermes #hermes x reader #epic circe #circe #circe x reader #epic odysseus #odysseus #epic polites #polites #eurylochus #epic eurylochus

37 notes · View notes

cocogum · 23 hours ago

Text

The Great Wave - Chapter 11 Review

‼️SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER‼️

And we're back!! Yay!!

It felt like a year since I've done these but I'm so happy we get to see what happened after that ANNOYING ASS cliffhanger.

And omg after reading this, I genuinely had so many more questions!!

So without further ado, LET'S DO THIS SHIT

We go back to where we've been before, aka seeing these three goobers choking up from that damn blueberry.

I'd like to point out that this is one of the rarest times where we get to see colored blood in the manga. I get that we've seen them bleed before, but the red popping up like that really made me miss it 🥰🥰

😀😀

Hotass masochist is at it again-

Anyways, Grougalorasalar brings Yugo and Adamai in their memories 💕without their consent💕 and...he actually never saw the Inglorium damn.

Daddy Grougalorasalar already has beef with these two morons so just imagine how he must be feeling from the fact that not only did they cause a lot of problems (without meaning to) in the world, but they also got to visit the gods' realm before him.

This guy might have lived far longer than these two and even he didn't see this place before them....

But what actually makes me confused here is that bro not only hates Yugo but is actually curious about what kinda shit he's gonna do next.

Like yeah he hates Yugo for doing shit he didn't mean to but at the same time he's waiting for him to do more shit cuz he's curious. Does...does Grougalorasalar like to cause trouble to people and to himself??

Omg...he's such a slut for pain i can't-

Yugo....sweetie...no 💕

A huge part of me knew he was still going to act recklessly and charge at Grougalorasalar without thinking. But on the other hand, a small part of me mindlessly hoped that he'd be more aware of the situation he was in. But at least it just goes to show that Yugo never lost his tendency to charge at the enemy ever since season 1.

Fun fact, in french, Yugo is yelling at him because he doesn't understand why Grougalorasalar would cause problems to "good people". I love how we still get to see his kid side resurfacing from time to time because that was the most stupidest thing a grown man could say.

YES!! THANK YOU!! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW!!

You have no idea how annoyed I felt when we got no answers as to why the other gods weren't present in Inglorium. I understood that it was because Tot wanted to explain their disappearances in Waven but I was still very into this mystery cuz it puts the eliatrope goddess in a bad light.

So to hear Grougalorasalar mention Inglorium's crumbled state makes me really happy to see cuz we get to at least dig on that topic.

OOOFFFFF‼️‼️‼️

NO YUGO HE'S GOT A POINT YOUR MOTHER WAS SO SUS ‼️‼️‼️

This is what I mean when I say that his mom needs to be held accountable, there's something seriously suspicious about someone who gives off weird vibes when they're supposed to be known as the goddess of LOVE AND CREATION.

I did not even think that Grougalorasalar knew about the state of the gods' realm, but it just goes to show that primordial dragons are aware of the world's situations and what goes beyond it.

But what shocked me the most in this chapter was that not only did Grougalorasalar know about the Inglorium being in shambles, BUT HE ALSO KNOWS WHO YUGO AND ADAMAI'S FATHER IS AND THAT THE GODDESS APPARENTLY INTERACTED WITH HIM BEFORE SEEING YUGO AND THE OTHERS.

There is a lot to unpack here just by reading these three panels.

First, Grougalorasalar confirmed to us that it was the Eliatrope goddess' fault that the other gods are not here. Back when someone asked her what had happened to the other gods, she simply dodged the question.

Second, Grougalorasalar claims that when the goddess got saved by Nora and Efrim, she went straight to her lover and freed him to take revenge on the other gods. This means that the goddess can, in fact, express feelings not related to pure emotions like love and compassion. She's like everyone else and does have faults of her own. This also proves us that this lover of hers is a very dangerous one. He's such a threat, in fact, that he was able to completely destroy the Inglorium and leave no traces as to where the other gods may have gone. We also got to know that her lover was angry. He may have been furious because the goddess had been imprisoned just like him. Why was he imprisoned? We don't know.

And third, Adamai doesn't know who their father is. It may seem very random that I'm mentioning him but it does make sense. Adamai had been taught and raised by Grougaloragran so he must've known who their father was. But judging by how Adamai seemed just as eager to know like Yugo, he never got to know who he is which means Grougaloragran, back in his prime, didn't know either.

But there are two people in Season 4 who must've known and those were Qilby and Nora.

The reason why Qilby knows is pretty obvious: he cannot forget a single thing from his millions of lives. So he must've known at some point who his father was.

And the reason why Nora knows is because she was assisting the goddess. Right after she saved her and had no choice but to leave Efrim behind to the necromes, she accompanied the goddess to free her father and then went with her to get the elite eliatropes.

If Qilby and Nora had still been alive, they would've explained everything to Yugo and Adamai, but we know that Tot loves to not reveal anything to these two 💀💀

Now for those who are not aware or haven't heard, Yugo and Adamai's father is not the Great Dragon apparently.

In an interview with Tot, he claimed that their father wasn't the Great Dragon and that the answer would be revealed soon.

So....take that as what you will.

Personally, it doesn't make any sense that he couldn't be the father because not only have we been told time and time again that the Great Dragon and the Goddess made the primordial eliatropes together, but we've also been told that he was also the one who created the krosmoz with her.

Now yes, he did take part in making the krosmoz it's just that Tot retconned the fact that he was the father of the primordial eliatropes.

It would've made much more sense if the Great Dragon was the father because it would explain why he had been imprisoned by the other gods for being too deadly.

But who knows, maybe Tot does have a good answer to all of this, and we've just never seen him before because he's a new character that had been hidden in the shadows all this time.

And speaking of Tot....

Remember when he said that Armand's name was supposed to be spelled with the letter 't' at the end?

Well...

THE CHAPTER LITERALLY ADDRESSES ARMAND WITH THE LETTER 'D' LIKE IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN ‼️‼️

You mean to tell me that this guy got so fed up with everyone from 'butchering' Armand's name when the seasons, the credits, the ovas, the mangas, and even the artbooks CALL HIM WITH A D.

Come on Tot just admit that you personally like to call him that cuz his name reminds you of a relative of yours. Because you make no sense when the show and the books have called him the exact opposite. Cuz if you keep doing that, we're just gonna break our heads and seriously wonder if we should trust your words over the canon source material that we've grown up with.

But anyways ✨️✨️

Not only did this chapter reveal that the goddess is sus, that we learned what happened when she got freed, that we know that Yugo and Adamai's father is not the Great Dragon, and that Tot makes his own headcanons, but we also got to see another character's name make a reveal in this chapter.

Why is Harebourg's name mentioned and why did Grougalorasalar tell them not to have messed with him. 😀😀😀

Look....

If his name being mentioned is because he's the official antagonist of Season 5, then I will die screaming from the top of a hill.

If not, then idk why Grougalorasalar chose to mention him out of all the antagonists that we got lol

But this does make sense! In a video posted by Ankama animations on YouTube, they mentioned that the antagonist for the season will be a new antagonist but someone that we already know. @geekgirles made sure to screenshot the exact moment where an employee had mentioned the antagonist of the fifth season here.

I actually really wish that Harebourg had recently been a problem for Yugo and Amalia because it would make 100% sense as to why Grougalorasalar even mentioned him in the first place.

It makes so much sense in fact THAT I MADE AN ENTIRE THEORY AS TO WHY IT'S PLAUSIBLE THAT HE'S STILL ALIVE HERE.

#if u think the pics look a bit weird then it's normal cuz i took them from another device and tried to whiten them as best as i could #the usual black and white pics are gonna come back someday #so that's good for me and maybe good for u if it bothers u too lol #wakfu #ankama #krosmoz #the great wave #wakfu the great wave #wakfu the great wave volume 2 #the great wave volume 2 #wakfu the great wave chapter 11 #the great wave chapter 11 #wakfu review #wakfu reviews #wakfu the great wave review #wakfu the great wave volume 2 review #the great wave volume 2 review #the great wave review

27 notes · View notes

steddieunderdogfics · 2 days ago

Text

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @midsummer-semantics! QueenOfSwords1312 has posted 51 fics to AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and 50 of them are in the Steddie tag!

@tedewitt recommends the following works by @midsummer-semantics:

A Kind of Merry War

Free-Use Health Care

Dia de los Muertos

The Fool, The World, and Everything in Between

Don't threaten me with a good time

"Jordan is an incredible writer first and foremost. They have a passion for writing that you don’t see every often. Their fics transport you into the world they’ve built and breathe new life into familiar characters." -- @tedewitt

Below the cut, @midsummer-semantics answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I’ve somehow managed to make these guys my entire personality since they very very briefly interacted two years ago. Weirdly enough, I wasn’t even a huge fan of Steve until s4 (blasphemy, I know), but the Steddie brainrot took hold immediately and I feel like they’re genuinely such adaptable characters that putting them in a million different situations and seeing how they’d interact is one of the best parts.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Getting together, hands down. I will read them getting together in the same way a million times and never get tired of it, but everyone writes such interesting ways that it’s always good every single time.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Didn’t know they were dating. The small acts of domesticity that leads them to the realization they’ve basically been together without the kissing (and other things) all along it so fun and funny to me. Especially if it’s what leads to Steve’s sexual awakening.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

“Come what may (i will love you until my dying day)” by emurph_24. It changed my life in so many amazing ways and I credit that fic as the reason why I got into the fandom space itself and not just writing my little fics for funsies. Plus, the author is my wife now.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Eventually I’d love to write a proper Getting Back Together fic, but I hate making them fight and break up so it’s going to take some mental and emotional gymnastics in order to do that first before the good thing happens.

What is your writing process like?

It varies. Either I start with a proper detailed outline, every major plot point I want to hit laid out with a checklist and I go through each part until I’ve hit them all. Or I have one single idea or inspirational quote/event/story I heard somewhere in mind and I just insert Steddie into it instead. The first one takes me weeks to get through. The second I usually end up writing 10k in a day. Either way, I talk through pretty much everything with Tara (TEDewitt) and Erin (emurph_24) before and during the writing, and they’re the best hype-people and betas anyone could ask for.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I almost always start fics with the name of the person whose point of view will be used within the first sentence. “Eddie Munson is a fool.” “They’ve been dancing around each other for months and it’s driving Eddie up the wall.” “Steve knows he and Eddie are close.” I’m not sure why I do that, but I think it just makes it easier on my brain to know right away whose brain I’m using. I also hope it makes things clearer for people who read my stuff.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I tend to post when I finish writing (once Tara and Erin have had a chance to look through it), but I’d never published an entire fic chapter by chapter once it’s entirely written. I usually post chapters as I finish them, which makes me pretty bad about irregular updates (Sorry!). But I’ve been part of a few events now that have posting schedules and those have been WORLDS better about keeping me on track for things.

Which fic are you most proud of?

It’s a toss-up between “The Fool, The World, and Everything in Between,” “Free-Use Healthcare,” and “A Kind of Merry War.” The first is my longest fic and what I feel is the first real deep-dive into the characters, and it’s my baby. The second just did really really well and I’m still a little in shock by it. And the third was not only fun but everything I like to see in Shakespeare adaptations so it was a successful adaptation in my book.

How did you get the idea for Don't threaten me with a good time?

We all know the phrase “write what you know” and I’ve, frankly, lived a really weird life. So the story is literally just a Steddified version of a celebrity run-in I had on my birthday a few years back.

When writing The Fool, The World, and Everything in Between, what was something you didn’t expect?

I didn’t expect it to be as long as it is lol I mean, I knew it was going to be 22 chapters, but I didn’t really know going in how long those chapters would be.

What inspired The Fool, The World, and Everything in Between?

The major arcana, and my desire to write a fix-it of volume 2. I just really think Eddie deserved to live and the major arcana do tell “the fool’s story” so it was a great way to make that happen.

What was your favorite part to write from Dia de los Muertos?

The first kiss. Well, the entire thing was fun to write, but again, I’m a sucker for those boys getting together, and Eddie’s little panic attack when he surprise-kisses Steve the first time because he just can’t help it was so fun.

How do/did you feel writing Free-Use Health Care?

Like a horny goblin took over my brain and was controlling me Ratatouille-style until suddenly there was 10k words in less than 24 hours. It wasn’t even supposed to be two parts, it was only going to be one with an open ending, but I literally couldn’t stop thinking about a part 2 as I was writing part 1 so here we are.

What was the most difficult part of writing A Kind of Merry War?

Textual interpretation. I’m really familiar with Much Ado About Nothing from years of working with it, but trying to make the actual lines from the play that are featured in the fic make sense in a way that is easily understandable to non-Shakespeare fans without derailing the pacing or taking people out of the story was an insane balancing act. I like to think I nailed it, though.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

In “Where lovers used to live (But they’ve been gone for quite some time)”, Steve finally gets to have the post-Eddie breakdown he deserves, but interwoven in that breakdown is repeated flooding of memories of how they got together before Eddie died. My favorite is when they’re getting a small moment in the RV just the two of them and Eddie is reading the Silmarillion to Steve, and Steve makes Eddie promise that when they survive the battle, they’ll run away together. Broke my own heart writing it, but god it was good.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I always have something up my sleeve, but the current and most exciting is the Eddie Munson Big Bang. I’m working with helpimstuckposting on an omegaverse Practical Magic AU called “Pressure in Increments,” coming very soon!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I’ve really met some of the coolest people in the world through this fandom and I think their friendship has really helped this not die for me even when there’s times it gets overwhelming or I feel like I’m losing momentum to write. I know that no matter what else is going on, I have the boys and my friends in my corner, and that’s the best part of it all.

Thank you to our author, @midsummer-semantics and our nominator, @tedewitt! See more of QueenOfSwords1312's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#writer's spotlight #writer's wednesday #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #ao3 writer #steddie writer

24 notes · View notes

forunct · 3 days ago

Text

[3:49 am] ♡ + drunk!reader, caring!jungwoo

you’ve been out with your best friends celebrating their engagements all night. you had spent all day yesterday helping their partners plan both proposals, one was an intricate scavenger hunt through their favorite hiking trails and the other was a surprise photoshoot with an elaborate background. it was really difficult keeping the both of them distracted for the day, considering how close the three of you are but you made it happen. it warmed your heart to see their faces as their partners popped the question. it left you with just the smallest bit of jealousy though, things with jungwoo are great but you’re not sure what the next step is if not an engagement and that worries you.

things are starting to slow down at the club and you’re missing jungwoo and his warm embrace. your friends are starting to float towards the bar to order glasses of water, and you’re starting to think this is the perfect time to call it a night.

“i'm starting to get tired,” you drag out the word tired to emphasize your exhaustion. they both nod in agreement, this has been the latest you guys have stayed out since college.

one by one, each of your ubers showed up to take you back to your respective homes and partners. you’ve had quite a bit to drink so your reaction time is severely off. jungwoo startles you as he swings the front door open while you search for your keys.

“jeez, you scared the crap out of me!” your hand is over your heart trying to get it to slow while he looks at you. jungwoo mumbles a half coherent apology as you take in his appearance. his hair is disheveled, he’s in his pajama pants, and no shirt. you assume he was sleeping before he heard the uber pull in the driveway. he’s pulling you inside before you can even form any kind of greeting.

“i’ve been waiting for you for hours y/n,” jungwoo walks you to the couch to help you take off your heels. “you told me you’d be back by 2 am, not 4 am, baby.” you can hear the concern in his voice, you clearly worried him.

“i know and i’m sorry, we were only supposed to go to two bars but we were having so much fun and got a little carried away. i should’ve texted you.” your voice is small, you know what you did was wrong.

“yeah, you should’ve,” jungwoo’s tone is sharp as he’s helping you take off your jacket and the hair pins from your hair. “i could’ve picked you up, y/n. you know how i feel about ubering this late.” the guilt is racking up by the second and all of the emotions from the night are starting to make your throat close up.

“i’m really sorry i worried you jungwoo,” your voice started to crack and he immediately took you in his arms, obviously regretting using such a stern voice on you when you’re drunk.

“i’m sorry i’m being snappy, baby. it’s just late and i haven’t slept since you left.” jungwoo’s voice is just above a whisper as he tucks your head under his chin. he’s rubbing small circles into your hip as you curl into a ball next to him.

“do you want to marry me?” the question comes as a surprise to both of you after it leaves your lips. it’s a question you’ve been wanting an answer to for awhile, you were just unsure of how to ask it, turns out being blunt was the best way to get it out.

jungwoo’s silence is deafening to you, it feels like it goes on for minutes when in reality it only takes him thirty seconds to give you an answer.

“1000% yes. that’s a no-brainer, my love. i want to spend the rest of my life with you. i love you.” you can hear the smile on jungwoo’s face and your heart warms after he tells you exactly what his intentions are. you prop yourself up on your knees to see his face, just looking at him makes you smile ear-to-ear.

“i love you too, jungwoo. so much.” he smiles back at you, his eyes leaving yours for a second to steal a glance at your lips before leaving you breathless in a heated kiss.

#nct fluff #nct 127 #nct #nct fanfic #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct u #nct timestamps #drunk is a strong word lol #longer than i wanted but o well!#enjoy!!#nct jungwoo #kim jungwoo #jungwoo #bf!jungwoo #jungwoo x reader #nct soft hours #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 x reader

26 notes · View notes

kwondotcom · 3 hours ago

Text

finally, finally built the emotional capacity to annotate something in the orange. on bsk's birthday, i said "the best thing you can do for yourself today is to read this fic." over a week later, it still stands true. this is one of the best pieces of work you will find not only on svtblr, but on the internet as a whole. i believed it then; i believe it now. 🍊 spoilers under the cut.

an anonymous assumption that was made about viv some days ago was whether she has a background as a film major, and her answer was no; she's just recently read the past lives script (lol). could've fooled me. this was a stellar device used for getting into the characters' head and describing them, and the eventual payoff of it just makes the story all the more heart-wrenching. on a more personal note: as a communication major who spent four years writing movie scripts? this shit was good.

the mark of a good apocalypse fic. how deep does the lore go? naming the phenomenon 'the Blight' and establishing it throughout is insane work. the information is bread crumbed. enough to keep you guessing. but in this first paragraph alone— extinction, famine, inflation— the domino effect of everything feels ominous. having seungkwan and the MC discussing [shotgun] marriage afterwards feels like a smoke screen. 'look, the world may be ending, but there is a young couple asking hypothetical questions and falling in love.'

absolutely devastating, by the way. i'm a big believer of love in the small moments, and there's just. something distinctly tender in how this is navigated. the images of walks home, shaky confessions, button exchanges. and the hints of what's happening, what's to come: mild dust storms, a barren world. this is a masterclass in writing, and it is genuinely so insane to me that i am getting to read this for free.

there's much to love in this passage. MC being right about the wires being good for barter. the passages that explain how the camera came to be. and just— all the premise in the world for why their love is so beautiful, how their affection persists. MC being a 'former writer' prepared for the zombie apocalypse is a nice touch.

[CAR CRASH] [GLASS SHATTERING] [EXPLOSION] “OH MY GOD” [BABY CRYING] “WAAAHH WAHH” [YELLING] “HELP MEE” [POLICE SIRENS] WEE WOO WEE WOEOO [YELLING] [HELICOPTERS] ‘WE’RE REPORTING LIVE-‘ [EXPLOSION] ‘MY LEG... MY LEG!!’ [BABY CRYING] “AHFUCKK SOMEONE HELP US” [REPORTER REPORTING]

both of the translations i found absolutely wrecked me. the first translation offers a specific kind of pain. the thought of the newlywed; longing for someone; a crying heart; if he cannot come, i will send my heart instead— after knowing MC is referred to as 'my heart'? and the second translation gives us tears of farewell; the trace of someone; how can old wounds be renewed? i'm a believer that everything is intentional, that nothing is left up to chance, especially when it comes to writing, and viv just bowls you over with the sheer thoughtfulness of a detail like this. i can't even begin to discuss the juxtaposition of a beach ruined by things like plastic and trash vs. bullet shells and shrapnel. the couple then running to be in the water together; the footage, partially obscured? i can't help but wonder how much of this is intentional. we've been privy to their romance so far, but this moment— what might be considered A Last Good Day, even, since this is d-4— isn't even perceivable in its entirety. there is only so much that we can see about their relationship on-/off-screen, both in a literal and metaphorical sense. i compound a couple of later scenes here. direction to hold an image of joy, in a mokpo beach (my god, viv; you are vicious) that is untouched by tragedy; uncertainty of whether the filming was accidental or intentional.

anticipatory loss, only for the loss to be one so unexpected. once again, i'm amazed by the amount of detail in the world-building— how viv outlines the conscription and the emotional aspects of it. how do we even begin to prepare for loss? and how do we live with the knowledge of how much we're about to lose? isn't that just the entirety of life, really? knowing that we are always going to lose one thing or another. in response: we hold things tight. we look, and memorize, and catalogue. it reminds me of the popular quote: "everything i've ever let go of has claw marks on it."

i was struck between the eyes by the violence of that act [cutting any scenes], because this very much feels like the crux of reconstruction/memory/narrative. seungkwan is in charge of what will be remembered; how the MC will be remembered. i adore the ambiguity of whether the scenes reflect a stitched-together film or whether we're following along seungkwan's review. equally, there's just something gutting about this playing out in some perverted version of what MC and seungkwan joked about i.e. a world with electricity, where seungkwan had free reign to do what he wanted with all the gathered clips.

not thieves, just travelers. expecting last words and getting the ghost of a kiss instead. your eyes, only ever kind. there is so much to love here, so much to adore in the stylistic, technical sense, but what comes to fore for me is this: viv's respect for the dead/dying. an honorable death in its own right. unjustified, still. devastating, always.

i will be honest. it's nearing 4 a.m. as i wrap this up (annotations were done in non-chronological order lmao), and i feel my coherency waning. i know enough to say that these were some lines that felt like a literal gut punch. the idea that our writer!MC and filmmaker!seungkwan can still nurture creativity. to love and be loved. the thought that MC always smiled at seungwkan over the camera. love. loss. a heart's a heavy burden. and you were seungkwan's heart, weren't you?

i think, in my initial read— struck by grief of the fic lol— i'd skipped over seungkwan's line here. twice as many stars as usual. let's look up together. this scene takes place in a corn field, presumably the night before the Incident. two-headed calves don't survive for very long; most pass away in less than 24 hours, their deformities taking a toll on their lifespan. the poem has always tugged at my heart, because at its core it talks about finding so much hope, and light, and love, in a short lifespan. and is that not the case of seungkwan and MC? twice as many stars. some beauty and peace despite being doomed from the beginning. all any of us have is however long we have.

ending this with two of my favorite poems on grief. a discussion i've had time and time again is whether a person can be complimented on their ability to write grief. is it a insult, to be told that you write about grief well, when it takes an acute understanding of loss to be able to pull it off? i haven't figured that out yet. and so i conclude, instead, with this. grief's familiar rooms and how it reminded me of the scenes wherein seungkwan is rewatching the clips (pulling at its buttons / that are not answers); poem and how, by and by, it reminds me of this gorgeous piece as a whole. i'm changed in inexplicable ways because of something in the orange, and i'm not exaggerating. how lucky are we to be in a time where writing like this is free to read; how grateful am i to exist in viv's orbit, under the same starry skies. the poem story ends, soft as it began, —

something in the orange

summary. remembrance is also reconstruction. reconstruction presupposes loss. a meditation on memory, narrative, and grief. and, of course, love. pairing. boo seungkwan x gn!reader genre/tags. ANGST, (semi-graphic) major character death, interstellar au-ish (just the blight), non-linear narrative, blurred fiction and reality if you squint (sorry I reread goodbye eri while writing), unbeta’d (mistakes are my own) wc. 5k suggested listening. love wins all, iu // 消費期限, seventeen // triassic love song, paris paloma // eight, iu prod. & ft. suga // yawn, seventeen // something in the orange, zach bryan (or niall's cover)

notes. midnight in korea now; happy birthday kwannie! this is very experimental, and admittedly i'm not fully satisfied w it, but I didn't know how to change it atp. sorry boo, it's your birthday but i give you pain. as always, reblogs are appreciated and come say hi if you're so inclined 🫶🏼

D-17 EXT. SEOUL TRAIN STATION – KOREA – DAWN The sun rises over the ruins of Seoul Station. The air is clear of smoke and fog. A shot of the sun peeking over the heap of steel, glass, and cement that once served as the station’s framing. The train tracks run to the far horizon, to the left and right of the frame. Pan to YOU (young-looking though age is ambiguous, former writer, love of SEUNGKWAN’S life) squinting at an old, battered map of Korea’s train lines, and a compass. You’re wearing battered jeans that are slightly too big, boots, and a sturdy leather jacket. Behind the camera, SEUNGKWAN (male, young-sounding though age is ambiguous, former video producer) narrates. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) BOO-log number 529. We’re now figuring out how to get to Mokpo. Neither of us are any good with directions, but my partner decided that we could try following train lines since the none of them are running anyway. You look up at the sound of his voice, noticing the camera.

YOU (exasperated, but fond) Kwannie, are you filming again? We have 30 batteries, but not all of them might be working. You might need to save battery and memory if you want to video the view of Jeju Island. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) It’s okay, I really just wanted to record us before we start. Once we’re walking, I won’t use the camera as much. And I have twenty other SD Cards! YOU (not surprised) Okay, we’ll definitely figure something out for the batteries, then. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) Yeah. Now— Seungkwan’s voice changes to a more formal tone, as though he were imitating a newscaster. SEUNGKWAN (O.S., CONT’D) What are your thoughts as we start our newest adventure? The camera catches your grin. You follow along, changing your tone to an impression of those backpackers in TV documentaries. YOU Um, I’m excited to see Jeju-do, even from afar, because it’s part of Seungkwannie, and we had our honeymoon there. As long as we’re careful, I know we can do it. If we’re lucky, we may even find someone who can bring us across. Beat. You look ever so slightly awkward in front of the camera. YOU (CONT’D) Wait, here, give me the camera. I’ll record you this time. The footage shakes, briefly showing a tiled floor, then train tracks, before panning to a blurry face. The camera shakes for a moment before the image comes into focus, revealing a beautiful young man with dark hair. Seungkwan does a better job at the “interviewer voice”, but you’re no slouch either. YOU (O.S., CONT’D) So, Seungkwan-ssi, what are your thoughts as we embark on a new adventure? SEUNGKWAN (genuine) I think it’s about to be wonderful.

D–2183

When the Blight started, both you and Seungkwan were in high school. Though only having known you since that start of your third year, you’ve quickly wormed his way into his life—visiting his house, having dinners with your family, and he even managed to force you into joining the badminton club with him.

Bees now officially extinct, the news proclaims, an effect of the ravaging of nearly all plant life. Asia in particular has suffered; the widespread rice shortages due to it becoming impossible to grow resulted in widespread famine. The extinction of plants used for feed, made food prices across the board skyrocket. Corn, it seems, is the only crop that can resist the Blight—and the rest of the world now has to adjust its staple food to mimic the old Americas.

“Seungkwan.” You prod his ribs.

“Mm?”

“What would you do if the world ends tomorrow?”

“Marry you.” You laugh, until you realize he isn’t joking.

“What?” Your voice pitches to an incredulous squeak.

“Marry you,” he repeats.

“Why, though?”

“I always wanted to get married,” Seungkwan replies, after a moment of pondering. “And if the world ends tomorrow, as of today you’d be my best candidate for marriage.”

For a moment, you just look at him, eyes tracing over his features. Your steady gaze makes him shift, uncomfortable, wondering if he said something wrong. Eventually, you shrug, though there’s a twinkle in your eye as you quirk a smile at him.

“While I don’t support shotgun marriages, I’d make an exception for you and the end of the world.”

His breath catches, heart stuttering as he tries to parse your answer in his head. “Wha—you—”

“Come on, Seungkwan, don’t dish it if you can’t take it,” you groan, flopping sideways to plop your head against the armrest. Your legs tilt as you do, your foot brushing against his calf. He tries not to jolt at the contact.

“I’m sorry!” He pouts, trying to calm the uneven fluttering of his heart. You laugh, shifting your lean in the opposite direction, so your head lands on his lap. Despite having done it a thousand times before, he traces softly the way your hair falls, admiring the way its color contrasts with the color of his pants.

(Looking back, he’ll think about how that day changed things, even just by a little bit; how his gazes grew longer, noticing more how the sunsets glowed against your face as you walked home together every day, painting you golden. How you’d both gotten used to creative ways of shelter when mild dust storms come, thanking your luck each time that you had gotten home before it truly began.

He’ll think about how, a year from that day, he kissed you as he walked you home for the last time before you enter your separate colleges, swallowing the teasing took you long enough from your lips as he finished his shaky confession.

He’ll think of how you exchanged second buttons like those characters from that anime you liked did, and the quiet promises to make things work even as the world seems to turn more barren than both of you can follow.

He’ll think of how three years from then, he gets on one knee, to your tearful yes and salty kisses. Your small marriage, with just your families, batchmates, and some professors, followed by a beautiful honeymoon in Jeju. Despite it all.

None of these decisions had anything to do with the end of the world, but you and Seungkwan made them, nonetheless.)

D-9 INT. A TENT – A TRAIN STATION SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SEOUL AND MOKPO – NIGHT The footage is grainy due to the lack of proper lighting; the camera shakes as Seungkwan seems to be trying to balance it on something. The tent is quite cramped; the inside is sparse, with only two sleeping bags and your knapsacks—Seungkwan’s with two camping pans attached with a carabiner. The leather jacket you were wearing is now resting on one of the bags. You have both swapped your sturdy day pants for more comfortable, albeit worn, sweatpants. Out of context, it looks like a vlog filmed by two campers on a hike. The camera steadies as Seungkwan moves away. He moves to sit beside you. There is an easy intimacy as you thread your fingers together, almost mindlessly. SEUNGKWAN BOO-log number 531. We passed by a sign that said Nonsan. That means we’re probably halfway there. YOU We made progress better than expected, didn’t we? I estimated at least two weeks. SEUNGKWAN (nodding, excited) I thought the train tracks would have been ruined, since the stations are, but they’re surprisingly reliable. YOU It’s true; of course there were times when we had to find our way around the tracks, or climb above anything that fell down over it, or go through some cornfields, but mostly, it seems we’ve been lucky. SEUNGKWAN By the way—everyone, it looks like we’re in a tent in the middle of nowhere, doesn’t it? Don’t be fooled, we set this up in a convenience store. YOU (laughing) You ruined it! Now we can’t be funky backpackers with a tent on the train tracks. SEUNGKWAN (playfully lecturing) It’s good to be truthful, you know. What if kids watch this someday? We have to be good moral people. YOU (with the remnants of a laugh) Okay, okay. We set this up in the Seven Eleven inside one of the train stations. Abandoned, obviously. We made it in right before the dust storm hit. SEUNGKWAN Another good news today is that we managed to barter something for food. YOU Yeah. This one engineer or something—I think he’s a veteran? But we saw him tinkering on his porch and offered a trade, his corn for our cables, and now we have dinner. SEUNGKWAN (joking) It’s not jokbal, but it’ll do, I suppose. YOU (groaning) Oh my God, what I’d give for some jokbal right now. With bossam. And soju. SEUNGKWAN I’ll be dreaming of that tonight. YOU Anyway, everyone, we’ll end the log here, so we have enough batteries for a nice long BOO-log at Mokpo. Both you and Seungkwan wave your corn (dinner) at the camera. You reach forward, covering the lens with your palm. The clip ends.

D–20

Seungkwan walks around the house. He’s doing his last checks, checking between what’s in his bag and what’s in the rooms to parse if he’s missed anything—batteries, your wallets, matches, passports, birth certificates, first aid kit, water bottles, toothbrushes, all the canned food in the pantry, the sturdiest kitchen knife you both owned (wrapped in two layers of cloth), the Swiss knife he was gifted a few years back, flashlights, a whistle, and all the carabiners and hard cash you had were already packed.

He finds you in your shared bedroom. There are a bunch of wires there, evidently cut from various appliances. You’ve wrapped the cables as neatly as you could manage. On the bed, you’ve laid all your dry-fit shirts and the sturdiest pairs of pants you both have. Then, from the dresser, you’ve collected the most expensive jewelry the both of you own—well, all of them, but you separated the expensive ones in another pile. He points to the latter.

“What’s that for?”

“If cash fails, maybe gold won’t. I don’t know, just in case the currency collapses. But they’re worth bringing all the same.” Also, you hold out copies of both your health insurances. He opens his knapsack and quickly stuffs them in the same place as your other documents.

“Last resort kindling?” Seungkwan offers, showing the cluster of documents in his compartment. The remark draws a quick breath of a laugh from you.

“Probably.”

“How about the wires?”

“You never know when we’ll need some emergency engineer bullshit; plus, if it comes to it, the wires will probably be better barter material. Before you ask,” you hold up one hand, “I edited a zombie novel a few years back. But if that kid was pulling out of his ass, we’re fucked.”

Despite your disclaimer, the no-nonsense, matter-of-fact way you’re handling the situation makes something settle in him, as though all he needed was an anchor amid the chaos. He pulls you close, placing a kiss to your temple. The tension in your body melts as you press against him. For a moment, Seungkwan just holds you. A temporary anchor before you need to move.

Turning to him, you offer a quick peck to his lips before holding up his trusted camera bag, worn as it is. “Bring it,” you tell him firmly. “We need a little bit of happiness. Get all the SD cards you have, too. In case we just never leave Mokpo. It’s small enough to stuff in our pockets.”

Seungkwan can’t help it; he grabs your face and kisses you. The camera bag sits between you awkwardly, but he doesn’t care. He savors this, the familiar taste of it, the contours of your face that his hands have long since memorized. You pull away, but not before kissing his lips again, then his nose. He’ll never quite get used to the way you look at him, as though there is something new to love each time.

“We’re gonna be okay, my heart.”

D-4 EXT – A LONG STRETCH OF BEACH – MOKPO, SOUTH KOREA – SUNSET The camera captures a breathtaking sunset. The sky is a wash of oranges and pinks, the clouds purple yet lined in the light of the sun. Mokpo is on the southwest side of Korea; the view of the sunset is particularly beautiful, as the sun sinks down into the sea. There are faint silhouettes of islands both near and far from the shore. The waters are tranquil, and there are no sounds except for the steady wash of the waves on the shore.

The shot slowly pans to you. Your expression is tranquil, despite the dirt and tears across your clothes. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) (soft, so soft you don’t hear) Pretty. YOU (clueless) Hm? SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) Nothing. Can you see Jeju Island from here?

He already knows where it is. YOU (laughing softly, a little sad) To be honest, I don’t know which piece of land I’m seeing is Jeju. A finger appears at the edge of the screen. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) There, that’s Jeju. Right behind the blob that looks like a hat. YOU (squinting) Oh! Right, that’s what it looks like. Beat. YOU (CONT’D) The view is beautiful. It’s been so long since I’ve seen the sea. Seungkwan hums the opening to Tears of Mokpo. You don’t recognize it until he softly begins to sing the opening lyrics. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) (singing) 사공의 뱃노래 가물거리면… YOU (laughing outright) That doesn’t have anything to do with Jeju! He sings louder just to spite you. You playfully roll your eyes. Bending down, you unlace your boots and take off your socks, sinking your bare feet into the sand with barely-concealed relish. Seungkwan stops singing as he knows what you’re about to do. SEUNGKWAN Careful; don’t step on anything sharp. As you move forward, the camera follows you. It is revealed that the beach is not so picturesque. The sea seems to have dried up some, and even here, bits and bobs of life float on the surface and linger in the sand.

There are the usual culprits: plastic bags, empty cans of alcohol and soda, and snack wrappers. Yet visible also on the camera are the following: bullet shells, shrapnel, a chair leg, a ragged pillow, and a cracked desktop monitor. As all this is visible, the camera centers on you laughing, splashing in the saltwater and enjoying the breeze in your hair. YOU (calling; audio faint) Kwannie! Come here! A beat. The camera zooms in on your face. YOU Kwannie, come on! Hurry up! SEUNGKWAN (proximity makes his voice loud) Okay! A rustle. The camera is laid down, cloth (Seungkwan’s jacket) obscuring part of the footage. After a nudge, the cloth disappears from frame. Another figure, barefoot, joins you.

D–119

Jeju has officially been declared abandoned, lost for some other country to use as farmland. The radio announced the treaty ratification today. Seungkwan is a spectre around the house, listless and heartbroken.

Months ago, when the conflict began to escalate in earnest, he began whatever arrangements he could to ensure his family was safe, moving them as near to the farming areas as he could manage and encouraging them to share whatever techniques they knew could help former cities now learning how to farm. The news does not make the sharp pang of grief dull any less.

He is at the age when he is to receive a conscription notice; Korea has since shifted its system to split soldiers into those who will either fight on the front lines of the Resource Wars, or serve by tilling the land and ensuring that there is enough corn for the population, however dwindling. There is no guarantee on which one he is to get, even if he did register himself as head of household (and should hypothetically be assigned the latter), but he is due to receive news in a few months’ time.

The promise of the notice hangs over both your heads. In the mornings, you spend ten more minutes just looking at him, as though you were memorizing the shapes and contours of his features. At night, he curls into you more tightly than before; once you’d have complained that it was too hot, now, you simply wrap your arms around him and let him sink his face into your hair.

“Hey, Seungkwannie.”

“Mm?”

“Let’s go on a trip.” The hand mindlessly running through your hair falters.

He pulls away, looking at you with a furrowed brow. You keep your head low, pressed against his chest. “What?”

“Let’s go south. Yeosu, Mokpo, whatever, just near the beach, as close as possible to Jeju. Just…just see it, even from afar.” At his silence, you barrel on. “If we walk enough, we can make it in two weeks—a week if we can hitch a ride with one of those crop trucks or something—and then just another two weeks back, if we don’t settle in Mokpo outright.”

“Food—”

“I can pack us as much as I can. We’ll need to ration, and possibly trade, but we can do it. The treaty is in place, and it’s most dangerous up north right now. Going south isn’t as big of a risk, and the weather has been looking good lately.” Finally looking up, you cup his cheek, tracing the skin with your thumb. He presses his lips to your wrist.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to Kwannie. I just thought you might want to say goodbye.”

“I…” he falters. It’s tempting. Unbearably so, despite the nagging at the back of his head that it would be better to leave it at that, keep his memory limited to the days you spent there dodging dust storms and falling in love. He doesn’t know how much it’s changed. How much the ocean might have even dried up. He doesn’t know if he can stomach to see it. “Give me a few days to think about it?”

“Of course, Kwannie. All the time you need.”

D+29

Seungkwan’s life has been demarcated into two. Before, and after. He goes through the motions of the government-run fields: waking up, clocking in, eating breakfast, tilling the soil, weeding, lunch, the occasional drills in case they were still expected to fight, transporting corn from one warehouse to another, dinner, sleep. Repeat.

Not a lot of people are here; many prefer to till fields they own, or collectively own; for once, agrarian reform straightened itself out at the start of the Blight. Yet with the dwindling population—slowly withering family trees—those lands acquired by the government grew.

Sometimes, Seungkwan thinks of home. He was lucky enough that the head of the center, Seungcheol, was kind enough to register his name as part of the deployed cadets under his supervision, despite the incomplete paperwork he had when he stumbled into his field, frail and dehydrated from lack of food and water.

Home remains now only in his memory, and in every replay of the Christmases he captured on camera. The soil is more unforgiving than before; it distracts from the loneliness.

EXT. A SMALL FIELD, WEDDING VENUE – DAY The wedding is humbly decorated with dried corn leaves fashioned into flowers, as there are no real ones anymore (none within the budget, anyway). Guests came as they are, though everyone has made an effort to clean up more than usual. It is currently the reception, and the speakers are playing a quick beat. The guests are dancing, laughing, and cheering, though their movements are blurry and almost smeared onscreen (step-printing effect). In the middle of it, you stand, the only still figure in the frame. You’re smiling softly to someone behind the camera, very clearly in love. Cut to Seungkwan, in a similar position, the guests around him dancing as but blurs. He is wearing a similar expression. He begins to walk forward.

You meet in the middle, still the only clear figures to the camera, and begin to dance. As though the dance were a spell, the surroundings cut to: INT. A MEDIUM-SIZED LIVING ROOM – NIGHT EXT. SEOUL STATION, IN RUINS – DAY INT. YOUR TENT (MAGICALLY ENLARGED) – NIGHT EXT. LONG STRETCH OF BEACH (UNPOLLUTED) – MOKPO – SUNSET Hold this image for a moment. The sea laps at your ankles. The bottom of both your garments brushes against the saltwater, but neither of you seem to notice. Both you and Seungkwan close the gap to meet in a tender kiss. Suddenly, cheers. You part, and are back to: EXT. A SMALL FIELD, WEDDING VENUE – DAY The newly-married couple smiles and waves. The bottom of their garments are damp.

D+167

It seems surreal to have all the batteries he wants, and even a computer where he can replay all his footage—more than 4000 hours’ worth of it. It took a few months of work to earn enough credits and rank to access it, but Seungkwan pursued the goal with single-minded purpose. There is enough electricity in this center to run a few computers, and Seungkwan is its most regular customer, painstakingly going through each clip on the dozens of SD cards he has.

For footage so far back, from when you had just been married, there are parts where he no longer remembers what happened after the clips end. They remain in his memory as but colored ghosts, warm-tinged with nostalgia. Cabinets that would never be opened again, now filled, in his dreams, with infinities.

The house of his memories blurs with the house of his oneirism. In both, he subsists on sleep and daydreams. But memory will betray; it won’t tell him if the house he remembers has been altered by each remembrance. So he watches his videos. He walks through his house, now only alive in video and reconstructed by memory. He sees himself and he sees you, in all the different iterations you both were. Wonders if he could stitch both into narrative. Wonders if he could even bear to cut any scenes. He’s never thought about the violence of that act until now.

Inventories do not just catalogue possession; they also measure the potential of loss. It was a quote from one of your writing workshops, discussed over a late dinner. You could still afford some meat then; Seungkwan had saved just enough for a small slab of cured pork, which you would cut tiny slabs from for both of you to enjoy before bed.

He has five minutes left of his designated slot with the computer.

Seungkwan watches, and he catalogues.

D=0

Seungkwan only remembers in flashes—a gunshot. A scream. It’s only when he replays that moment in his mind that he realizes it was his voice. Barely a thud as your body is cushioned by the corn leaves. Dark red liquid, somehow both grainy and slippery on his hands as he drags you into the thick of the field, away from the path, trying desperately to stem the blood while minimizing your trail. Until finally, he collapses, feet unable to bring him a step further.

More flashes—your eyes, only ever kind. Even at your last moments. The way you hold his hand and place it over the pocket you keep his SD cards, as though reminding him one last time. The way your eyes search his face, first desperate, and then resigned. The way he leaned in when you opened your mouth, to hear your final words, only to feel the ghost of chapped lips brush against his ear. The gush of blood that dribbles past your mouth that tells him you’re gone.

(The Resource Wars felt like more a backdrop than anything else; you had come this far without any altercation. Yet even as you screamed that you were not thieves, just travellers, the gunshot rang.

The cornfields weep with him as he leaves you behind, SD cards clutched in his bloody hand.)

D–4

TIME CUT TO: It is twilight, now. The camera is trained on the horizon. The sun has fully set, and night is beginning to settle in the sky. Only the barest hints of orange remain. The footage has already become slightly grainy due to the lighting. Neither you nor Seungkwan are on the camera. Instead, voices are heard while the darkness arrives. It is not evident whether the footage was taken accidentally, or on purpose. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) (softly) I’m glad we came. Really, even if we couldn’t get to Jeju. I’m glad. I’m glad it’s with you. YOU (O.S.) (just as softly) I’m glad too, my heart. You filmed the whole sunset, didn’t you? Start to finish? SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) Yeah. Yesterday and today. I have so much footage that I don’t know what to do with.

Breath. SEUNGKWAN (O.S., CONT’D) Actually, that goes for all the BOO-logs. Even the ones from high school and college. YOU (O.S.) (surprised) You never tried editing them? SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) I have, but what then? There are hardly any theaters now. Nowhere else to post. And electricity is expensive. YOU (O.S.) Okay, but if we both die, what do you think’s gonna happen to this camera? Seungkwan is many things; a prideful badminton player (before the Wars stopped sports events), a videographer, casual vlogger, and a corn field worker. You are also many things; an editor (before your company closed from too little employees), author, copywriter, and occasional tiller.

Both of you still enjoy nurturing sparks of creativity when they come. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) Mm. someone picks it up and it gets immortalized in a post-war museum. And our videos will be a special feature. YOU (O.S.) Oooh. And the war museum would be on a spaceship, with funky gravity and new plants and meat the astronauts domesticated from a different planet. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) And there’s a new jokbal. Call that out of this world delicious. YOU Stop! Despite the terrible joke, you both laugh, then let the conversation drift into comfortable silence. The sun has fully set. Nothing much can be discerned visually from the footage. YOU (O.S., CONT’D) Hey, Seungkwannie. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) Mm? YOU (O.S.) If you had the chance, like computers and steady electricity, would you edit all the BOO-logs into a short film? SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) (skeptical, but thinks about it seriously) What would the plot even be? A married couple traveling to Mokpo, dodging dust storms and chasing each other through cornfields? Watching the stars at night? YOU (O.S.) (earnest) Yeah! Or, y’know, make it semi-autobiographic, like two lovers wanting to visit where they first had their honeymoon. Or maybe I’m sick and you want to take me to the sea one last time? The footage earlier could fit with that storyline. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) Don’t even say that! YOU (O.S.) (laughing softly, apologetic) Sorry, sorry. But if you do make a short film, I want to be the first to see it. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you work. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) What about you, then? Would you write a book about us? YOU (O.S.) Oh, definitely. And you’d be the first to read it. The footage cuts.

D+182

Seungkwan replays the footage again. Beside him, Vernon fiddles with a pen.

“What do you think about making this a short film?” Seungkwan asks.

Vernon stops.

Seungkwan may be their newest addition, but the rest of the crew has grown protective. He brings light to their conversations, effortless in his ability to entertain and bring laughter. Mingyu asks him of his favorite foods, especially the ones he misses from Jeju, even if recreating them is near impossible. Seungcheol reprimands anyone who tries to bully him into giving up his share of rations. Junhui has begun to joke more, noticing how Seungkwan seems to be particularly into his humor.

Yet everyone recognizes the sadness that still clings to his heels.

Vernon looks, for a long moment, at the monitor, frozen with a picture of a smiling face he’s never known—never personally, only ever through the screen and Seungkwan’s stories, always shared in quiet whispers in the privacy of his room.

He knows, though. Knows that this person was real. They loved, and were loved. It speaks in how the camera follows whoever is in the frame. The cuts of certain clips, as though either the person behind the camera joined their partner or had a moment that could not be captured in film. Most of all, it was the way whoever was in the frame would, without fail, smile at the person behind it.

“I think,” he replies, choosing his words deliberately, “that you are in a unique position to dictate how someone is to be remembered by those who never knew them. And…” he hesitates, wondering if two months of these quiet conversations is still too little to be so candid with his friend, especially when talking of loss.

So, so much loss.

Seungkwan answers that question for him. “It’s okay, Vernon-ah.”

“…Well, I just wanted to say that it’s a burden to bear, is all.”

EXT – A CORNFIELD UNDER THE STARS – NIGHTTIME The stars have emerged, visible in all their glory. After the start of the Blight, when the population began to dwindle, electricity and many other resources became scarce. Much of the light pollution that was once a problem has disappeared. Brilliant dots twinkle overhead. To you and Seungkwan, it could pass for the Milky Way. The POV seems to be at a low point; stalks of corn are visible at the edges of the frame. Yet the stars are bright, captured exceedingly well.

You’re softly speaking aloud Laura Gilpin’s The Two-Headed Calf. It was one of the poems you memorized in college, as a creative writing major. YOU (O.S.) (as though from far away) Tomorrow when the farm boys find this freak of nature, they will wrap his body in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north field with his mother. It is a perfect summer evening: the moon rising over the orchard, the wind in the grass. And as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual. Long beat. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) Twice as many stars as usual…let’s look up together. YOU (O.S.) I see the stars, my heart, but I’m tired…

A breath hangs in the air. Some rustle of cloth, as though someone had adjusted so you fit together. A soft sigh. YOU (O.S.) Good night, Kwannie. SEUNGKWAN (O.S.) …Good night, darling. End.

note. are the screenplay bits from the short film? the raw sd card clips? his memories? distorted memories? guess we'll never know. nonlinear bc grief is nonlinear. pls tell me your thoughts (even/esp if u didn't get the story lol) take care of yourselves always <3

#𖤐 kae reads svt #𖤐 favorites #tangina umiiyak na naman ako at 3:40 am hahaha #NAPAKALALA TALAGA feeling ko nabugbog ulit ako #i love this fic so much. it is so dear to me. i am just... sooo grateful to have read it #viv my light my love. thank you thank you thank you. a thousand times over.

59 notes · View notes