#and if thats nothing then.... i guess thats fine

[bangcakes]

.

[angelpuns]

Update on my health that no one asked for: mmmmbad

[milkweedman]

Been trying to make a thick winter hat all damn weekend and have gotten approximately nowhere very slowly.

First was gonna do some cables (good way to make a thick hat), but my brain is mush and I just couldn't get math and tension to co-operate. Then I figured, bit of single color brioche is also very thick. Can't do brioche anymore apparently, as it wasn't working. Fine, I'll just crochet it--except now it's not warm because it has too many holes. Also, I've been using a very dark yarn for this bc its what I have, but I'm starting to suspect that not being able to see my stitches has been the problem this whole time.

So...now idk what. I still need a thick winter hat. Also need a pair of mittens and a wheelchair blanket as well as to actually finish that wheelchair bag (even more important now bc I ripped a huge hole in one of my prototypes on Friday and I dont want to fix it). Augh. So much to do. So little brain and even less arm strength to do it with.

I'm going to rethink my yarn choices and try for the hat yet again, I guess.

[phosphophylight-of-my-life]

oshi no ko aqua is such a fun character bc by most counts he's a more than decent guy.

in his first life he regularly visited hospital inpatients who had no visitors. he was genuinely happy and excited to help Ai deliver her babies, because he wants her to be happy on her own terms. he saves Akane simply because he can, and gets angry at the staff on her behalf. he doesn't stop at saving her life and spends sleepless nights turning around her public image. at that point there was nothing in it for him to keep akane around, she was just a person he was able to help and wanted to help.

by most counts he's a pretty decent guy who steps up when people need him most, except. except he's also a guy who really wants to kill his dad and that makes him manipulate people somewhat often and this is somehow not entirely at odds with his instinct to help others

[silverselfshippingchaos]

gamers... we've got a problem. and by 'we', I mean 'me'

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[bones-n-bookles]

Hey can someone give me a several minute long hug that I may cry into

[neptunesailing]

mayoi (enstars x hnk au)

[oflgtfol]

anyway, i’m leaving for my upstate eclipse trip on friday morning. gonna be about 8-10 hours in the car all by myself. i desperately need entertainment to occupy me during it. can i PLEASE get some music recommendations so i can check it out during the drive

[sojourner-between-worlds]

The funny thing about me making two separate posts within the same hour about Lockwood's death wish yesterday is that I had all the dots and I was so close and yet completely just... did not fully connect them. So here's the follow up no one asked for.

Because there is something to be said for the fact that Lockwood was the best able to resist the call of the void on the Other Side. And I was right: he manages this both despite AND because of his loose ties to the Living World.

This is contrary to the expected. His family is all gone and he can't see the meaning in their deaths. Le Belle Dame snares him so easily because of this. It would be so easy for him to let go and join his family, and really what's the point in staying alive anyway? Except that he finds out his parents' deaths weren't meaningless, and he gives meaning to his sister's.

His ties to the Living World are weak after losing his entire family. This doesn't necessarily change when he finds the meaning; they're still gone and he's still alive, and the grief still lingers even if there is purpose in it now. He should feel the pull more than (or, at the very least, the same as) the others. But that's not what happens because he's used to it. He's used to feeling the pull of death. That's not to say the void didn't affect him at all, of course; turning away still wasn't an easy feat. But the pull is less because its always there and he's always fighting it. In a twisted sort of way, his own desire for death is exactly what made him more immune to its influence.

Despite this, it would still have been easy for him to let go. But he doesn't. He's found meaning in death and so he turns away because he knows there is meaning in life still, too.

[clockvenn]

Silly guy has been sitting around collecting dust...... now I've picked him back up yuuhh ‼️‼️

Still trying to figure out his development,,, he's part of Strange Daydreamer tho !

I also gotta redesign some other characters there besides Rubix

This boy is staying as he is <3

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."

But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️

So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to

And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to

Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!

[xamaxenta]

Kind of whelmed

[mxwhore]

mutuals. i am getting caught in my own bitterness again...

[mbat]

theres so many kinds of ways to go about redemption but i love redemption in the powerlessness

like call it a little cruel but i love the idea of someone who got too powerful getting their power taken away and they have to live that life now and become better through seeing what its like on the other side of the line they were so sure theyd never cross

[depresseddepot]

applying to more jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haha :))))))))))))))))))