#and if im being honest this is goals for how i wanna draw two... its soooooooo sweetness

[heyrainyroo]

hiii jazzy let me know if you prefer if i didnt reblog answers, but this type of discussion within communities is something I am always enthusiastic about, and I love some good ol transparency so i'll record my feelings here

What makes you wanna interact with other peoples characters?

Just... knowing people are into it? The idea that two characters from two different people have themes or similarities or contrasts or whatever, and feeling the excitement between two people who recognise each other's hard work and passion. Of course there's themes/subjects and personal preferences but since that's so specific and I am willing to be flexible or at least talk or figure some things out, I feel like that's not relevant. The point is i freaking love roleplay, I join roleplay groups and creative collaboration is one of the coolest things. The best internet friends ive made have been because we've connected through being invested in each others creations an helped it out. TDLR: Mutual interest to each other's very well loved creations, and wanting to be a part of it.

What things draws you towards other peoples characters.

So many things LOL. I am not picky. Its easier to ask what is a no-go for me. And when I do have those, I would ask people not to be personally offended. I know my tastes or preferences are my own, and should not influence others. Im just one guy and you dont gotta worry abt me if i disagree/dislike smth and I can still respect what work and love is put into it

What factors can drive you to be like “man I really wanna interact with this persons characters on a deeper level”

Part of it is just... seeing if the other character is willing to Yes-and what I put out. If I'm being so honest, the modern askblog ecosystem seems to want to just tell its own... solo... stories a lot? I get it. Its a lot of work to trust that every person who sends over a character could work for what story you want to tell. But I do miss the times where cross-blog interactions influenced each other's characters in a big way, like character development . I think we've un-normalised this culture, and that's chill because everyone is a different person with their own goals and preferences. And also some people just aren't aware with boundaries and it makes it less fun to enjoy. But im sure we can make it work if people are looking for it!!! I also think people sometimes interact in big ways less because they actually don't know how much they can involve their characters in other blogs anymore.

Is it more about the characters personality?? The overall blog story?? If the character is designed in a certain way??

Sometimes genres and themes might influence me. Heavy/Dark is always something I want to tread carefully with, though I'm still quite open! It's also seeing like... wow this character is fun and has an interesting backstory, I wonder how they would bounce off with mine. Will they make each other better or worse? Will my character have to rethink their beliefs from meeting another character? I f it makes u feel better i have a lot of those thoughts for ur characters, jazzy. you do compelling stuff. Even without OCs or askblogs i think you have characters that are compelling that people want to know more of :) Additionally, if its off-the-cuff interactions from asks, its always helpful to do the yes-and type of techniques. I try my best, when someone sends me a in-character ask, oftentimes leave it in a way where there's opportunity for them to reply. Maybe the character asks a question back? Mentions something they noticed about the character who asks? Or even simply says something that can be further expanded on, or relates back to the asker. This isn't always possible, of course, but something good in practice if you're looking to have interactions! it's a give and take!

Or is it really just “I’m social and interact with people no matter what”

I'll be so honest, all in all with everything above this in mind. From all the experience I have in creative communities. A huge part of getting to interact with others is... just putting yourself out there in the first place. Approaching. Talking to people and make them know you're interested in what they've put out. Which... also is a lot of energy that I know people can't exactly afford. But when there's a spark for it, being pretty forward and encouraging has lead people to be more approachable to me and given me so many friends I am unafraid to just naturally talk and headcanon interactions with. I should say too, if anybody at all asks "wow how do you do interaction so seamlessly and work into your blog", part of it is hugely about communication. I think the most smoothest interactions of my blog so far are because OOC, i talk and chat and straighten things out with people. It's not a bad idea to preplan what you wanna do! In the end.. its like, you kinda have to take a leap of faith. I wonder if people think I'm social around here, I can see why and I make the effort to be in ways but it's not something I do naturally. I just feel a lot of my approach is an energy I kinda wanna put out to the community, so i can see the things I love (interactions, creative mutual support) happen more often and be normalised. And to you, Jazzy, and everyone else who participates in the community, I do really love discussing characters and hypothesising how characters interact. (RN ITS HARD. cursedtales is kinda in the middle of something, but i am always happy to spill a little to figure out how two characters would click. Additionally im starting up shiny umbreon soon because that ones easier to make character interactions out of.) buuut for anybody who IS interested, you're welcome to send me a message or anything anytime! Whenever you're ready and feeling up to it! I won't be offended if nobody is either tho lol but perhaps i can put some insight and thoughts into how i approach and make this weird and funky format we call tumblr askblogs work

Annoying Jazzy Question of the Day

What makes you wanna interact with other peoples characters?

What things draws you towards other peoples characters.

What factors can drive you to be like “man I really wanna interact with this persons characters on a deeper level”

Is it more about the characters personality?? The overall blog story?? If the character is designed in a certain way??

Or is it really just “I’m social and interact with people no matter what”

[monoxiid]

can i request for first date headcanons for any blue lock boys of your choice 🥺 im so glad more people wanna write for it

of course, honey! ^^ ❤️ it's true that blue lock content is rare 😔— anyway, thankchu for requesting! hope u like the characters i chose :›

⋮☰ ┋ 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 : headcanons about the first date of some blue lock characters ⌕

⋮☰ ┋ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 : Bachira Meguru、Nagi Seishiro ⌕

⋮☰ ┋ 𝐓𝐇𝐄̀𝐌𝐄 : fluff ⌕

⋮☰ ┋ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 : probably a lot of mistakes of all kinds, lightness of content? ⌕

(well, help me to find an appropriate aesthetic-)

⠀⠀‘ ℬ𝒶𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶 ℳℯℊ𝓊𝓇𝓊 ’ :

┃Meguru will be so excited!! You'll probably be his first girlfriend because of ... you know, his somewhat complicated childhood. Obviously, to be his partner, you would surely be someone who accepts him despite his faults, and who recognizes his qualities. He will be infinitely grateful to you for that, and the first way to show it to you will be to take you to its favorite places in the city!

┃The dark haired boy is an energetic person, naturally he will push you to be the same, pulling you out as soon as he can. He will introduce you to his friends -especially Isagi- with this proud smile on the lips. Meguru feels happy to have a girlfriend to take care of, to play video games with, but also to show off his football skills!

┃Yes, a lot of football dates. He won't hesitate to tell you if he thinks you're not good with a ball, thanks to his honest self, but it is with patience and pleasure that he will teach you how to play.

❛❛ And this is another goal from the striker Bachira Megury, what a man!!!

—I leave.

— (y/n) no—! ❜❜

┃He will not show the same enthusiasm to follow you in your own activities, but to thank you for agreeing to stay with him, he will stay with you as well. He will try as much as he can to be curious, to ask questions and to be interested in what you do, your hobbies ...

┃For an artistic s / o, he will obviously be titillated, his mother does art and it is sure that Bachira is no less creative than her. I can see him accompanying you in your painting sessions, or posing as a model for one of your drawings -not too long, though, he's a teenager who likes to move.

┃For someone as athletic as him, he will be equally happy. He will absolutely learn to play the sport you practice, go to your performances, matches etc ... and watch your training, the first to cheer you on without shame! If it's something like dancing, he'll totally be the type to carry you and turn with you in his arms.

❛❛ You see? I do the same as you!

— Ahah, you should think about converting to a dancer, then!

— I don't think that's a good idea ... Wait a minute!

— I was jok—! ❜❜

┃If you do things like team sport, he'll be more in his comfort zone, and learn to do like you faster! He will get to know your team, play with you, learn the rules...No matter what sport you play, he will act the same, with interest, because you are his girlfriend and he want to be there for you, with you.

┃If you don't even play sports, or you don't really do activities that he will be comfortable with, then maybe even better! It will be an opportunity for both of you to discover new things together and to test new experiences, without one to teach the other, just the two of you at the same level. It seems funny, isn't it?

┃The first date will probably be chaotic, Meguru will take you to any place that crosses his mind, and leave the unfinished behind, but all he wants is for you to familiarize yourself with his world, and to familiarize himself with yours.

⠀⠀‘ 𝒩𝒶ℊ�� 𝒮ℯ𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇ℴ ’ :

┃👏date👏inside 👏

┃For the first time, it will be really simple, probably Seishiro pulling you into his house after school. And cuddles, that's all. Not even video games, not even televisions, screens, chatting, just the two of you cuddling on his bed. And always a nap that could take time.

┃Take advantage of Reo's money? Take advantage of Reo's money. But only sometimes, because Nagi is never for expensive and luxurious things. He prefers sofa to caviar, logical coming from someone like him.

┃But, being a soccer fan, it makes sense that if you ask him, he won't refuse to come out to shoot the ball a bit. He's not going to take it easy with you, though. If he's easier to block, it's only because of his incredible laziness, sorry.

┃As for your hobbies, he will only be interested if you mention them, he will not join you -or rarely- but will accept with pleasure to watch you. You are his girlfriend, he will make exceptions.

┃But the majority of the time, your dates will consist of you finding yourself on the couch, arms in each other, on your phones, talking to each other, even if it can end in a monologue. He's not very talkative, but absolutely loves it when you're having a conversation on your own without necessarily responding. He could listen to your voice for hours, and even fall asleep more easily with it.

┃If you like video games, he will be happy to play with you. He could be a bad player if you win, but he still enjoys these common moments that you both have. Obviously, he will be the first to taunt you if you win.

❛❛Oh, I won again. Strange, I thought you were the best at this game, (y / n) ...

—Sh-shut up! I'll take back control!!

— Ahah, of course, darling. ❜❜

┃He doesn't care that you don't want to go out, he will always agree with you on this point but sometimes he doubts himself and thinks that you would have had enough of him, who never takes you in places as fancy as Reo could, so sometimes he'll invite you to a restaurant. But it's not hard to see that he's not in his element, and you should quickly figure out what's going on. Seishiro will be relieved to hear you say that you don't care about the superfluous, that what you love is to be with him, no matter where you are.

❛❛ Oh my god, you are so sweet. I dunno what to say. ❜❜

[luvuwite]

all, go

i hate you

1. What was the last present you gave?

uMMMM probably a commission i gave to pancake (archie/vivi)

 2. What was the last present you received? 

i dunno? if its a doodle then i got that a week back!

3. What animal best represents your personality? 

from the oOoOO spirit animal tests i took im a snek

4. What are you most afraid of? 

sometimes my own mind EYES EMOJI

5. Who is your favourite villain? 

HMMMMMMM probably like,, megamind i love him

6. Who is your favourite family member? (we all have one, admit it)

MY SISTERRRR

7. If you could name your own planet what would it be called? 

myanus

8. Stars or Moon? 

stars!!

9. Do you have/want kinds? 

if my other partner wants them, sure

10. What is your greatest life goal? 

making it this far

11. What is something you can’t live without? 

soup

12. What is a place you associate with your childhood? 

one of the parks near the store-area

13. How was your first kiss/how would you like your first kiss to go? 

i never kissed, so i wouldn’t know, but pls,,,ask for consent,,, and warn me if we gonna kiss or not,,,,,

14. What is some life advice you have acquired? 

ive learned a lil’ bit, but one of em probably has to be to just be like,, dont cry over something you know is fake, at least thats what i remember atm HAHA

15. Who in history has influenced you? 

bruh i dont like history idk

16. What is something strange that you think about often? 

h,,,hopless romantic noISIJEIORQ AHHAHA i like to think about weird scenarios in my head basically

17. Baths or Showers? 

showrr i get shy with myself in baths

18. Tea of Coffee? 

coffee

19. Alcohol or soft drink? 

alchohol bad brisk brisk brisk

20. Writing or typing? 

typing since its easier

21. What is you most favourite thing in your bedroom? 

my bed its sexy and comfy

22. Spontaneous holiday! Where are you going and with who? 

wait what UH I DONT KNOW probably just close close friends and family

23. Introverted or Extraverted? 

i have my moments with both

24. Describe yourself in two words. 

small and aggressive

31. What do you think of when you hear ‘portrait’? 

a picture or image of someone/something

32. Tell me about your partner/ideal partner? 

i mean no one is perfect yeah? i just want them to be honest with me and accept my AHEM struGGLES with relationships since im not the best partner

33. Tell me about your siblings, if you have any? 

my sister is what you call a “girly girl”, she likes disney movies, outdoors, being loud and running around, yknow just like any other child ever

35. What are you a big advocate for? 

my friends!!

36. If you’re comfortable to answer, what is the sickest you have ever been?

migraine + stomach bug + mental in trash +  stomach pains + lil appendix pain

37. When were you the most scared in your life? 

when i broke my arm

38. Ever had a paranormal experience? 

ACTUALLY YEAH i thought i heard someone yelling help outside my window and i peaked out and realized it was nothing and i figured i was just tired but i was still kinda freaked

39. Biggest celebrity crush at the moment? 

im not like other girls,,,,....

40. What is something happening in your life right now? 

uhhh just general anxiousness/paranoia(?) tbh

41. What is your favourite mythological creature? 

DRAAAAGOOOOOON

42. Marvel or DC?

dont know what those are

43. What object would be on your family’s banner? 

soup

44. Favourite flower? 

pink rose

45. One characteristic you like in a partner? 

s,,,support/reassurance pls

46. What planet/star would you travel to if it were possible? 

i wanna,,,, actually i dont know i think i would just enjoy floating around in general 

47. What is your favourite meal… ever? 

soup

48. First time…. doing anything. Describe your first time doing something? 

first time i drew was twiggit sperkl and that was the most proudest i ever felt

49. Who is your favourite superhero? 

bRUHHH I DUNNO I DONT WATCH THAT STUF

50. What is your favourite poem? Recite it?

i dont read

51. What is an exercise you despise doing. 

burpees

52. Secret talent? 

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

fite

53. Current song on replay replay replay? 

[x]

55. If you weren’t in your current occupation what would you be doing? 

sleeping probably

56. What is the first thing you notice about the person you fancy?

,,y,yo they kinda,,,, scrumptious,,, AHUIWRWQI 

57. If you had one wish that would definitely come true, what would it be? 

yes

58. If you could time travel, when and where would you visit? 

i would go to future bc i wanna see what i look like

59. What is your lucky number? 

5

60. If you adopt a pet what would it be and what would you name it? 

a cat!! and i actually am planning a name and calling them clementine!! 

61. Do you believe in fate/everything happens for a reason?

i believe your fate is decided by ur own actions/words

 62. What is your favourite thing about your personality? 

im not too hard to get along with,, i hope

63. What is your favourite thing about your appearance? 

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

64. What is your favourite clothing store? 

primark bc everything is like 2 bucks

65. What is your favourite online store? 

i dont do online shopping too much

66. Use one word to describe your most favourite person? 

observant 

67. How do you usually have your hair?

down with a clip, then ponytail next day

 68. What was your favourite subject in high school? 

math

69. What makes you feel empowered? 

power over something/someone(as a joke/in games, not in a bad way)

70. What motivates you to do something? 

a prize at the end

71. What advice would you give someone who is going through a rough time? 

it gets worse before it gets better, and in the worse ill be there for you so you dont have to go through this alone

72. Ideal date? 

wendys!!! sweater weather!!! cuddle!!! left 4 dead!!! comfy clothes!!!

73. What is the best date night movie? 

i am not that attractive to be taken out on a date

74. What is something you are currently looking forward to? 

nothing atm tbh im just here bc i have to beIEOJRWIOE

75. Tell me a funny joke? 

oo wa oh wa ooh

76. Do you like musicals? If so, what’s your favourite? 

never listened to one actually

77. What is your favourite song currently? 

sweater weather. always.

78. What song never fails to make you dance? 

POP EYED JOEEEEE IVE BEEN LIVING???? LONG TIME YOOO

79. What is your favourite “classic?”

gnomeo and juliet

 80. What is the best advice you have ever been given? 

obese paragraph and comfort doodles? lets go

81. Where did you ancestors come from? 

puerto rico

82. What have you learned from your parents/guardians? 

be tough nugget and dont take shit seriously till you have to

83. What is a phrase you heard a lot growing up? 

dont step on the crack or youll break ur mothers back

84. Do you believe in magic? 

nnno

85. What reminds you of your best friend? 

overwatch

86. What are you passionate about? 

dance dance dance

87. Tell me a story from middle school? 

one time

the end

88. Who was your favourite teacher and why?

i love my bio teacher rn bro shes such a sweetheart

 89. Can you roll your tongue? 

yes

90. What made you pursue what you are studying? (including school subjects) 

my little pony

91. Where would you like to travel to? 

japan for those toys gimme gimme

92. What is something on your bucket-list? 

i wanna see coral reef

93. What is home to you? 

place that brings feeling of comfort/security

94. What do you do in your free time? 

draw

95. If you could buy anything right now, what would it be? 

food

96. If you could see anyone, living or dead, right now, who would it be? 

probs one of my online friends

97. If you could choose, what would your last meal be? 

soup dumplings brisk and rice

98. How would you like to die? 

happy

99. List five of your favourite pieces of art (paintings, books, songs etc) 

ruby eyes / sweater weather / ponyo / wall-e / idk

100. What would you change about this world?

global warming SHOOO U FAT

[alukaforyou]

and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

[heroquills-a]

s1lentsnip3r replied to your post: hmmmmmmmmmm……….. i feel like doing a random mun...

bet

cracks knuckles.

@s1lentsnip3r @chaosmixed @metallumdash 

words can’t describe how impressed i am by how much you bring your muses to life bwaze. i used to like, not really give a darn heck about metal sonic at all? but after that first thread we had where sonic and proxy got into a fight, i was immediately hooked. you just do such an incredible job at fleshing out characters that i otherwise wouldn’t have really thought much of before and you just have this unique and interesting spin on them that feels fresh. i love the way you play the chao and whisper’s wisps and atia is just a little gremlin but i love them so much, and i’ve literally never seen anyone play chaos before. you just have this way of utilizing that potential that your characters and concepts have and it’s just really awesome to watch. i love it. absolutely a stellar roleplayer. absolutely stellar mun!!

@skyfcx @masterprotector @cosmcther

ties you to a chair. listen here little mister. youre probably one of the OG ppl in this rpc that i’ve lowkey looked up to since first joining. you’ve already heard it plenty of times already but your writing is just ?? stellar ?? from the way you use colorful idioms, expressions, metaphors, to how you capture movement and action in such an engaging way. it’s always a treat to read. the way you portray your muses is just always spot on and i love how seamlessly you capture their mannerisms and speech patterns. your headcanons for tails and knuckles just make me so giddy they just feel so right for their characters, and as far as rosalina goes--- while i know next to nothing about the mario franchise or this character in particular i’m still intrigued enough to peek in on what she’s up to every now and then. over all, you’re a rad roleplayer and a fun person to chat with ooc !! 

@chaosbcrne 

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. i adore how you write shadow. i’m constantly blown away by how authentic he always feels and how realistic you write him while still remaining accurate and true to his character. like i legit cannot even think of any other place or media i’ve seen besides the games themselves (before sega started botching up his character anyway) where he’s portrayed as accurately as you write him. you manage to balance the serious, aloof, hostile side of him with his playful, competitive, smug side AND the inner naive, almost child like side almost perfectly. and then there’s more, because you add so much depth to him and realistically expand on so many unexplored facets of his character and his roots !! you can just tell this is a character who’s endured so many hardships and is still trying to recover and move on, and despite everything that’s hardened him into the person he is today he still has that innocent curiosity about the world and it makes me so emo every. single. time. you just put so much work into him and it shows, from your icons to your headcanon posts, to even the most minute detail. even when you host events you just go So Hard at it you’re literally out here setting the standard dude. and don’t even get me started on your writing style. i was hooked by the very first thread we did, i felt like i could never hold a candle to it honestly. just. the way you narrate shadow’s feelings and thoughts, how you capture his actions, his movement, his speech patterns, is just so good. and your vocabulary is so colorful and rich. just. hgnfhg its top tier content ALRIGHT you inspire me to push myself and to keep improving all the time and i have to say i couldn’t ask for a better writing partner. i love you so much eph 💕💕💕

@1110-01111011

hello yes trikey i love your omega so much. i’ve never really thought much of the death bot before but seeing all the headcanons and fleshing out you do for him just makes him so much more interesting and fascinating. down to the most intrinsic detail you put in for him it’s just really cool to see and adds so much to him that just !! i love it man. every time i think abt omega now my mind just automatically goes back to your portrayal because he is Just omega. i appreciate all the depth you add to him and his relationships to the rest of his team, it’s so pleasing to see and really helps solidify how strong team dark’s dynamic truly is..... not to mention your art is hecking gorgeous??? like damn dude, goals. anyway,, thank u for the blessed omega content. absolutely 10/10

@coolxnxblue @oforbis @hcrofraid @mastcrplanncr @powderbluestreaks

toxi i immediately fell in love with your sonic the first time we ever interacted. you just capture his sass so well, i just could not stop giggling that first night. he’s still my favorite sonic in this rpc, to be honest. and don’t even get me started on your other muses. it still baffles me how you manage to take on such a huge raster of characters yet manage to flesh them out all so well. every one of them feels so evenly developed and solid and just like bwaze you make me care about characters that i otherwise wouldn’t have before. i feel like i have a huge newfound appreciation for eggman bc of you and unsurprisingly he’s now my fave eggman on here hands down. and it goes without saying your writing is just, phenomenal. you capture dialogue so beautifully, the way you narrate on the feelings your characters are experiencing is engaging, to the point i’m lowkey intimidated by it sometimes LMAO. also your AUs are just rad as hell? and rlly interesting?? and your art style too ????? 10/10 roleplayer, i just think youre neat.

@antibadnik @godcontained

hey you? yes you. i love your muses so much. i especially love how you write amy, to be honest. she’s been my favorite character since forever and like?? you do just such a good job with her? i appreciate that you choose not to erase her intense affection for sonic, because more often than not i see people tone it way down to almost non-existent and it really is just such a big part of her character. i like the way you delve into that mindset of her’s, and expand on it and how it affects her. i also just. love your writing too. you just have this way of conveying feeling in your writing that’s always a punch to the gut you can feel it that hard. your headcanons for elise are really interesting too and definitely nothing i’ve actually seen before, what with how her powers work and how having to go emotionally dormant has effected her after all this time.  also, i love ava. she is baby. it’s so cool getting to see a mute character!! all in all, its just good content man. god i love football.

@team-phantom @heartfelt-silver

pandaaaa i adore you !!! you were like my first friend in this heckin rpc. all of our dash shenanigans always have me wheezing and i just love your boys so much. i can certainly say without a shadow of a doubt that zero is one of my favorite takes on infinite. its hard to believe that he’s the same jackal who almost completely helped eggman take over the world--- he’s just come so far, he seamlessly fits into the rest of the cast. i adore how he works off of his team, and all their own unique little quirks that set them apart from each other. your headcanons and lore for your muse is just so sweet. and god i can’t get enough of your art?? your doodles always are a blessing to see ;-; i always appreciate you youre just such a sweet and kind mun, you’re so welcoming of ppl here and have this way of making ppl feel at home in this community. it absolutely wouldn’t be the same without you. keep it up <3

@lightdash @heartlop @enrichedheart

YOU. yes you. ame you’re so freakin’ cool and sweet. you’re always so nice and welcoming to people in the rpc it’s always a treat getting the chance to talk to you !! you’re another one of those peeps i look up to in this community TBH and youre muses are just portrayed and written so well!! i can just tell you’ve poured many years of thought, consideration, and work into your muses to the point that they’re just so finely tuned. i love the aesthetic you utilize for you blogs, from your icons to just the way you go about formatting your threads? and not to mention, your art style ??? is just so cute ??? ngl i lowkey wanna collab with you one of these days bc i just adore how you draw the sonic cast ;_; thank you for being a part of this rpc !! you’re wonderful !

@projectlightfox

moggg you’re so nice and chill to talk to. i love volt and harmony so much... they fit in really good with sonic world and mesh well with just about any characters i’ve seen them interact with so far--- even if its someone they don’t get along with. i’ve said it before but theyre just a really charming little duo and im always happy to see them on my dashboard. i love the overall aesthetic they got going, two travelers roaming the world from dimension to dimension. harmony is just a little bundle of precious fluffy joy and her interactions with sonic always make me cry. and volt--- he’s such a good dad !! he’s a really neat character and i’m certainly interested in learning more about the both of them. and as i said, you’re a rad person to talk to, i appreciate how welcoming and supportive you are of people. and your art style? absolutely adorable. thank you for being in this rpc ;-;

@dieviskais @solfading 

king!! i’ve never seen anyone write the way you do, choosing to shift the view point onto the reader as if they themselves are the muse. it’s such a unique and interesting way to look into your muse’s mindsets and express how they are feeling and what they’re doing. your take on silver is very fresh compared to the way he’s typically written. i appreciate you don’t take the baby silver uwu route like don’t get me wrong he IS baby but he’s not a baby. you certainly have really neat headcanons surrounding his backstory and how he grew up, it’s nice to see the grim reality of his harsh bleak life being represented. it’s good !! your other muses are intriguing too and i’m eager to learn more about them. i love auburn?? he’s a really cool oc dude his aesthetic and powers are A+. and you know, i may be terrible at expressing it but you’re a delight to talk to!! never feel bad or discouraged for popping into my dms i honestly appreciate the company ;-; thank u for being u

@orbviously / @cubeviously

THESE TWO BOTS. i love them so much. literally every time i see orbot or cubot now in any context i just think back to your portrayal of them hebby, they’re just so dang spot on and good. i love how you go about interacting with people with these two tbh it never fails to make me giggle. i love your art style too it’s just pleasing to look at! you have so many creative AUs for these bots i’m honestly impressed by how much you manage to create with these guys man--- from their human/bot designs to their mobianbot designs theyre just so cool ?? even your other muses are always entertaining to watch regardless of what fandom theyre from youre just so fun to interact with. and just, you’re always a pleasure to talk to ooc, youre always putting a smile on my face! youre awesome hebby 

@fishing-purple-cat

yes hi. sunny your take on big is so blessed. you’ve done so much justice for him. i’ve always really liked big tbh but i just love how much depth you put into his character, his backstory and his mannerisms. i love that you like,, actually give him a personality outside being a slow thinker. i can tell you’ve really developed your writing style with him, it speaks volumes about how much work you really put into writing him and it shows? heck, you even go the extra mile to draw your own icons and hang on i need a second to gush about your art because holy DAMN dude. your anatomy and painting abilities are nothing short of impressive--- especially your nack for painting backgrounds. i srsly gotta commission you at some point when i’m able to, heck. anyway, the rpc certainly wouldn’t be the same without you here

@lnfinitc

dude i love your take on infinite. he’s just about everything he should have been in forces, and even more. i love how malicious and intimidating you write him and your take on his speech patterns is just straight up eye-candy. i love your writing style, its so flavorful and rich--- your headcanons and lore on how infinite works is just astounding. and i like how you incorporate your drawings into your replies or threads too like even if its just icons your style is so heckin pretty ?? gosh dang. i’m definitely looking forward to interacting more in the future bc ur muse is just really fun and you seem like such a rad person !!

@pistolbitten

uhhh hello yes... while we haven’t interacted very much so far i JUST GOTTA SAY, i super enjoy your take on fang. from what i can tell he’s very well-rounded and fleshed out and a really interesting villain. i may or may not’ve been lowkey paying attention to that angel’s thesis thread you were doing w bwaze and aaron and i gotta say. holy damn. fang just done FUCKED UP. im certainly looking forward to him and shade interacting lmao. your writing style is so good too hh... just yeah i don’t have a whole lot to say if only because we haven’t interacted as much as i have with some of the other ppl on here BUT i certainly am looking forward to bc you seem cool. i’m loving what i’m seeing so far. have nack shoot sonic. DO IT.

@mobian-merc @funis-infinite 

duuuudeeee. i’ll be honest i was super intimidated by you at first asdkjsah i don’t even know why i was ??? but like. you’re so hecking nice and fun to talk to ;_; scourge is an actual literal dipshit yet you manage to make him very likable and you have such a fun take on him. i’ve always been a little conflicted on the character tbh because of how popular he is and he seems like the type i’d like but i knew nothing about him and was kinda put off by the over hype sometimes, but honestly? your portrayal won me over. i love him now. he’s so stupid and hE’S GREAT. your infinite also seems so cool too i gotta hecking respond to that starter you made me when i get the chance, im looking forward to infinite & sonic just. talking and sassing eachother probably. i really like your writing style too!!! and your icons are absolutely gorgeous ok. alright, that is all.

@flyinginfreedom

uhhhhhhh hello i love your rouge so much ???? she’s literally so cool... you capture her aesthetic and over all mysterious yet cunning vibe perfectly and it’s just always a pleasure to see her on my dash. i loved her interactions with sonic during eph’s roadtrip event so much. your headcanons just feel so her and spot on, and you still manage to add so much depth and personality to her i just love it so much. i love your blog’s aesthetic down to the icons, and even the way you format your threads. over all just a stellar rouge blog and a really cool & chill mun!!

@rosehammcr @antihedgehog

hi rosie uhm i love your amy so much ok. she’s such a sweet heart, i love how you incorporate her tarot cards ?? it’s literally so cool... and the accuracy on those readings is shocking. she’s just such a sweet heart god i’m getting emo thinking abt her tbh like amy is !! one of my fave characters and !! you write her so well !! and your eggman too, god he’s incredible. i love how sinister yet goofy he can be he’s just a perfect combination of intimidating and silly. your takes on orbot and cubot also bring a smile to my face and i love how you incorporate them into your interactions!! you also just seem like a rlly rad person and i’d love to interact more !! yeah !

@a-wind-of-freedom

yuniiiiiiIII !!  you’re such a sweet heart and your sonic is too. i’ve never seen someone play sonic the way you do before and it’s certainly interesting and unique !! you’ve got so many neat an thought out verses and AUs too, theyre all really intriguing !  our interactions with our sonics are always rlly blessed tbh starlight is just precious. i always appreciate getting to work with you as well for commission stuff, you’ve really been helping me out in that regard. plus you give me something artistic to work on and the chance to push my talents ! ;-; all in all you’re just a really sweet person and have a kind aura about you ! ;;

@champiionic

clears throat. hi yes you’ve been one of my fave sonics since day one. you’re just so creative with your muse its honestly impressive how many things you’ve able to come up with for sonic. from the portrayal you bring to the table down to your muse aesthetic its always just spot on you’ve got the blue speedster’s whole vibe down to a T. and your writing is just ? kisses my fingers. beautiful. your sonic is just so dang authentic, seeing him on my dash is always a pleasant sight. and i know this post is namely about sonic rpc muns & muses but i already love bubbles and blossom. i used to watch powerpuff girls when i was rlly little so its a real nostalgia trip to see them on my dashboard.

@hcpebloom @rcsebloom

bunny !! ur heckin sweet.. i love ur amy so much HSDFHDJ she’s just so soft. and unique too!! your headcanons for her are just so cute and make her stand out in her own way and i just appreciate that yo. and i admittedly don’t know a whole lot about cosmo since i havent really watched that far into sonic x but you’ve certainly got my attention with her. we just gotta interact more man ur muses are so precious !! ;_; 

@fortruechaos 

you !! your shadow is so good dude ! your portrayal of him is just so hecking accurate,, i highly appreciate how noble you write him to be. he’s serious, he’s prickly, but he’s got the world’s best interest at heart and it makes my heart do the fluttery thing. your writing is so good too gosh. no to mention youre just so hecking nice ??? youre just overall a rlly sweet mun & i appreciate your presence here in the rpc

@glittcrngcld @livelifc

hey fretcher ? ily. your muses are just so good from your canon characters to your ocs, i just love them sm?? and your ART? i swoon every time i see your doodles on my dash i’m still not over those doodles of lilly and azure ;-; not to mention your edits are scarily good like shit dude teach me your ways. your takes on your muses are awesome man i love ur sonic he’s such a MEME. and elise !!! she makes me so emo god. thank u for your blessed portrayals of these characters ! @elektrisch-felidae​

YOU. precious is just, precious?? HAH. i love her, she’s so cool tbh. she’s so chill and laid back and seems like the kinda cool cat sonic can totally vibe with. you yourself are also rlly chill and fun to interact with--- even if we haven’t much so far. its no secret i just love sonic ocs so much and precious is just awesome. i love the idea of electricity powers. absolutely need to have sonic hang with her more ;;

@coldheartbeauty 

SPEAKING of cool cats with cool powers, i love raven. her sass is just super entertaining to see on the dashboard tbh. i have to see her and sonic get into a sass off one of these days. her powers are also really cool too ? she reminds me of blaze in a sense, but just completely different in her own right. i also just hella love your art style its so cute, your doodles are always adorable to see!! 

INHALES. ok. im done. if i missed anyone i am so sorry i ran out of steam. thank you all so much for making this rpc such an entertaining, dynamic, and creative place to be !!! 

[totoroses]

i found this lesbian survey and decided to fill it out!

Femme or butch? is this what do i prefer or which i am? im a femme and i have no preference in dating, i’ve been wildly attracted to both and any in between

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it. the only nearly completely common denominator though my exes are having brown eyes? i have dated only one person who did not have brown eyes. i always feel safer looking into brown eyes then blue. i woudl say i have often gone after the romantic artsy type with good music taste and some kind of signature style about them, ironically none of which drew me to my current girlfriend who i believe is probably defintiely the love of my life

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets? leather jackets! i will swoon over smartly dressed gals in button downs as well as a chill gal in some plaid unbuttoned flannel but the two together make me think of a lumberjack

Describe your style. i usually go for one of two styles- softly dressed forest wanderer, or slightly sassy soft grunge. both include my doc martens, but one is more natural colours and old fashioned dresses and the other is sassy tshirts and 90sish thrift store finds like denim and dark florals

Describe your aesthetic.pressed flowers between the pages of a book on forest spirits, rose milk tea, silver rainy downpours, curly baby hairs, white peaches, a cat sleeping in a library, custard pastries, a circle of mushrooms in moss, opals and furry moths

Favorite article of clothing? my one forever 21 dress ive had since like junior year that i can wear without a bra and it has like a cool cross back i just looooveee ittt, then also my embroidered minty 1930s style qipao sort of dress

Favorite pair of shoes? my doc martens and green chinese embroidered lace up slippers

Current haircut? currently blonde (ugh) and currently my hair falls just past my breasts, the goal is to grow it to my bellybutton!

Any haircut goals for the future? i really wanna get on the thick fluffy bangs bandwagon but i dont think i have the stamina to put up with growing them out again smh

Describe the best date you’ve been on. there was this one date i went on with one of my high school girlfriends where we went to a bookstore and hung out and then stuck googly eyes all over my city on random monuments and street signs, and we also ate thai food and listened to music and it was still one of the most lovely dates. BUT my girlfriend recently visited me in taiwan and we went in a glass bottom gondola ride up a mountain and drank from coconuts and wandered through old streets and had the most amazing tea food with a spectacular view and it was heaven

Describe the worst date you’ve been on. probably the one where i went on a picnic with my first girlfriend who then broke up with me that same day and even though our entire relationship was so awkward and not what is should have been it still hurt so bad

Single? Taken? taken!

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife! where do i begin! my girlfriend is a slightly shorter than me girl named lynn who loved korean variety shows, drinking coca cola, listening to cheesy love songs, and playing tricks on people (especially me). she used to be a major tomboy in middle and high school and date all the girls and get slapped a lot, as well as mess with teachers and play pranks on them and steal things from their lunchboxes. more than half of her birthchart including sun, rising, and venus are scorpio, and she wants to start her own streetstyle online brand but has not yet found a catchy brand name!

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife? :)

Describe your dream wedding my girlfriend says if we get married we need two, a traditional chinese wedding (she is from china) and a western one with a priest since i am catholic, and i couldnt agree more. my dream wedding includes just very close friends and family, extravagant lights and flowers and a reception party playlist chosen by me, catered by the teahouse we went to in taiwan. i know its so silly and superficial but i want the dreamiest dress that i design, wisteria everywhere, and most of all i just want lynn at the end of the alter looking stunning in whatever it is she decides to wear

Do you want kids? YES me and lynn talk about this a lot because we both love kids and both agree on at least 4, no more than 8. and we will share who carries the kids so not just one of us is having our uteruses worn out

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? guilin, china. but its a fantasy. guilin is real and beautiful but chinese laws make it so that even if we settle down there and build a house it cant truly belong to us, and in china you cant have a private business and it jsut sucks because the drema is to live in the quiet countryside with a simple life and beautiful scenery to explore together and with our children

Favorite lesbian movie? i love so many but im gonna go with the handmaiden!

Favorite lesbian novel/story? i havent read nearly enough, but  adore all things by malinda lo and julie anne peters! ash by malinda lo is probably my favourite. i have to still read sarah waters though, i hear she reigns supreme

Favorite lesbian song? don’t pull away by milosh ft jviews (the music video is gay at least, i also love hayley kiyoko)

Favorite lesbian musician? hayley kiyoko probably

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any? mmmm i dont like softball so that doesnt work...i read a lot of sappho though! and i have short nails? and love buffy? are these stereotypes?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal? ugh yes

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that? write me a love letter or make me a mixtape about your feleings something cheesy

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian? girls!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person? cat but i also love pups!

Turn ons? a musical wonderful voice i could listen to and listen to, easy and stimulating conversations, passion for something that lights up their eyes

Turn offs? rudeness in any shape or form, indecisiveness or feigning indecisiveness because you think i want to make the decisions, despicable movie and music taste, smell

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you? mmmm in the past it has been pretty even. i have learned though that with women it really is a waiting game more than with guys so with my current girlfriend the tension was killing me so much i had to straight up ask her if something was going on and when she said yes she did like me too i was so relieved because she admitted to having not dated anyone since high school (5 years ago for her) and not asking anyone out while at college so if i had kept waiting for her who knows if we would have gotten together!

What is your dream career? i want to be a stay at home mom and author and perhaps an art teacher or preschool teacher on the side if the books dont pa the bills!

Talk about your interests or hobbies! writing and reading and drawing and singing and hiking and listening to music and watching korean dramas and making lists and studying languages

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have? passion, not necessarily in the sexual wya, but passion for something in general. like if she is an actress you see her on the stage and see how into it she is, and offstage she talks about it in a way that shows she is capable of truly loving something so much and seeing wonder in life. or a girl who seems quiet but then when she starts to show you the music she likes she closes her eyes and knows every lyric and has this expression of true passion and love for the music, i am captivated by women who are captivated by the purest elements of life from music to dance to nature

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone? for women, i fall in infatuation quite easily. i was always more cautious with men of course and now i avoid them altogether. but love is something i’ve been becoming more conservative of somehow. i think because i was so hurt by someone before and gave and gave without receiving and im scared of that happening again. i have to be receiving love to give it, thats something i finally can control my impulses over and protect myself from.

Ever fallen for your best-friend? HA

Ever fallen for a straight girl? HAHA

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?) heck to the no i couldnt make it past two episodes 

Favorite comfort food? macaroni and cheese

Coffee or tea? tea

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above? none but i have tried vegetarian before

Do you have any pets? a chinchilla and a cat!

Early-riser or night-owl? night owl 

What is your sign? gemini sun, sag moon, sag rising

What is your Myers-Briggs type? INFP

Who was your first lesbian crush? my first serious lesbian crush was on a girl at my middle school who dressed to the nines every day in vintage dresses and sweaters and she flirted with practically everyone just joking around and always had a boyfriend but was just charming in every way. my whoel day would eb ruined if i couldn’t just see her or say hello once, and i thought i was just obsessed until i was like ‘wait what if she kissed me’ and BAM i knew it was a real life crush

At what age did you know you were a lesbian? im not really sure. i identified as bi/pan from freshman year to junior year i think, but then was realizing i definitely had a preference and didn’t want to be with guys in a relationship at all to be honest but even up until last summer i was really questioning if i was asexual, so its been a journey but i think i finally fully realized i am a happy happy lesbian after meeting lynn

At what age did you come out (if you have)? i was 14 when i first told my parents i was bi, 18 when i said im a lesbian 

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)? just my girly friend

Talk about how your day went i worked this morning 7-11 after only sleeping 4 hours since i got hooked on ‘tipping the velvet’ the bbc miniseries, said goodbye to a friend, had school and did a presentation on how to make rosemilk bubble tea, i ate at a moomin cafe with my coworker, and now am working on homework and doing this survey and putting off my night cleaning duties eheh

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future  i just want to have a family and to have my books published, thats all i really need. a loving wife, my sister still by my side as my partner in crime, so many children, so many stories finally told that people are reading. i really want to build a lovely house for my family like my grandparents did once upon a time, with secret rooms and unique hiding places, a house they can pass down as they grow up and it can have our lineage. i want to live by the mountains and trees and water, i want to be able to speak mandarin, cantonese, korean, japanese, icelandic, italian, arabic, and polish fluently

[chaoscrystals]

Every note in my phone 20

Songs I have written recently: Where does pain come from? Fumbling in love Romance is dead The many paths and their overwhelming generosity Mercy escapes me like hot steam Well, I'm jealous too * Ukulele songs for 9/10 Easy living What a wonderful world What a little moonlight can do I believe in true love I believe in miracles Sea of love Three little birds Stormy weather Blue moon * Manic mantras of September 10 2017, a piece by nova luz Do it at the right time and in the right way. Your intestines will be grateful You love them more than you can say You think you love him but you think it might go away You still want to kiss and hug him You want to feel your body Sometimes you want to die And sometimes you think "i just can't get enough of this life it could never be too much" * More thoughts about Jonathan How long will my feelings last and where will they take me? I have to let go enough to enjoy myself. I feel a hole in my heart that I thought music would fill but it's not quite doing the trick, I want to be surrounded by people. I kind of wish I was going to his show instead of the one I'm going to be playing at tonight. Oh well. Maybe I can go say hi afterwards I went to try and find him and he wasn't there. I kept having flashbacks to when  was royalty giving away everything I owned. I imagine her to be one of my past lives. It also really got me thinking about masculine and feminine dynamics in a relationship. Like am I behaving in a masculine way if I'm the pursuer? I feel really stupid and like I've already done a lot of stupid things like imagining that he had a girlfriend! I unfriended him on facebook and everything. Self-hatred. I wonder what that's all about. There wasn't anything between them at all? I actually do have really intense jealousy issues and i couldn't recognize that in myself my whole life. But now I have. I am a very jealous person sometimes. And I'm insecure cause my mom drilled it into my head that all men cheat and are bad. Hah Fuck I want to scream. Its not worth it to hold onto but damn There are certain energies in my house that she doesn't notice and I shouldn't let it get to me but I do. She will leave her trash anywhere on the floor or just anywhere but can't admit to it * Here is a strange thought What if the real reason I play music is because I need the attention? Or because I think it will get me a man? What if that's the real reason? Fuck this mosquito is fast I keep having all these thoughts. Thinking about sex a lot. * Why? I have to be screaming. I'm in agony. Please don't leave me. Eevery day crops up a new bunch of thoughts I don't feel ready to deal with. Why do I have so much resistance to my own thoughts? Haha. I can't help but laugh. My desperate tries at being a musician. It shouldn't be a hierarchy of who's a better musician but it is. Okay I have to be honest with myself: I've been really disgusted with the big name bands and big name venues and whatever big name artists I encounter for the past few years...and I feel a little morally superior for avoiding those places and people. But the truth is, I want to be a part of that world, and I still kind of want to be a big name myself. Or at least work with big names. I have to admit this is the truth. I want clout and attention. I just do. * Short term goals Follow up w yo re mi Learn Hawaiian songs (at least 3) Listen intently to music Think intently about music Release resistant thoughts about music Set up online store/ focus on making and vending jewelry * I think that nobody realizes!!!!!!!! * What's an image what's a red banded branded Christmas tree out of season what's a starter how's it gonna start her not the seasons but when the seasons had reasons, oh I remember those days well. Aren't I old? And you're only 22 you're so far removed from the world I once knew. Rolling meadows and green everywhere. You youth only know rolling blunts * Hey are you noticing me? How do i make you feel? Is there anything you wanna tell me? Do you care about me? Do you hate me? Do you have a crush on Marisa from mannequin pussy? Are you two friends on Facebook? I'm not going to look right now. Will you tell me the truth about these kinds of things? Can you help me? How? Well okay, I'm gonna start letting you help me. But first we need to hang out more. We never hang out. I hate not hanging out with you but thinking about you all the time. What do you think of me? Do you have a crush on anyone else? Do you think I'm better? Is anything ever gonna happen between us or am I gonna end up on the floor crying and alone? Does it scare you that I feel this intensely? Are you scared of what other people will think? cause I am. What's gonna happen Is marisas music better than mine? Do you still love me? I'm living in a fantasy... Can you help me? I'm not okay and I'm supposed to smile. I'm supposed to listen. I like listening and smiling isn't so bad. I love you. Do you love me? I love you. Do you love me? Do you think I'm amazing? I think you're amazing. And if you thought I was amazing then I would think I was amazing. I have insane jealousy and insecurity! Do you love me? Do you think about me? *Am I in love with an illusion? Are the ghosts and illusions in love with me? Does it work both ways? Am I going crazy? Am I bending the fabric of space and time? Hmmm a mighty fine time love by my slide sleeping safe sound slander pander panhandle. I have no excuses I think I love you and I think I want to be with you very badly. I think about you all the time That's why I wrote you so many letters that I've never sent and spent so much time drawing pictures. I just feel like im seeing everything But its probably at least mostly in my head. Disclaimer: I love to self-isolate so...don't take it personal.. * I'm so smitten. I think I love him. I spend most days fantasizing about him. This is crazy. What if I'm wrong? I can't live my life avoiding heartbreak. What the hell. I don't care. Id rather him knowing how I felt, reject me, than hide how I feel but still try to get him to be mine and end up rejected cause I have too much internal conflict to even be able to handle it. * One last thing I tried to hide from my suicidal feelings but tonight I really wanted to kill myself, I really wanted to die. But I kept pedaling home. I don't know why maybe I think its the right thing to do. Its bad to want to die there must be something wrong Ha I really wanted to kill myself I kept thinking "I hate myself" "I hate everyone" "Look at us fools" I don't know. The world can burn and I can busy myself trying to MAKE IT * Mercy escapes me like hot steam When you feel like you want to die I sit and cry All the years are creeping by And my thoughts are a limit, an inhibition I know it could be different I have no mercy for crying Though its all I can do in the meantime, we really feel like dying If you really feel like dying You can have your angels write a sing a long If you do it a lot your heart will grow stronger Just go a little longer I don't want you to disappear I love you and I always have my dear Key of b September 2017 * Please love me? Did you notice? Do my pimples and little cysts that everyone has bother you? There's I'm a hallucinating a bad smell in my nose. If I had one hour left with you if read you all my poems. Do you think I'm beautiful? Do you think I smoke too much pot? Am I too stupidly romantic? * I always next to gargabr garbage because I have an infection that won't go away. I think if I decide that its going to go away and act that way then it will. Has my infection always been obvious? Have I always had the precursors to having this infection? Can I tell him everything? Can I tell him about the infection? * Do you love me? An interrogation by nova luz Does it bother you that my skin isn't smooth? Does it bother you when I complain? They say the human brain can't tell the difference between imagination and physical reality and I really think this must be true, because every day I think I'm falling in love with you but the you I love is in my head. We have a lot of conversations in my imagination but almost none in real life.. Do you feel bad now? I want to make you feel bad because you aren't paying enough attention to me. Its hard not to think in archetypes. Combinations of faces of what we are seeing..or want to be seeing. You're a face in my archetypal boyfriend. I wish we saw each other more. Why don't you want to see me? Why do you hardly say a word to me but when I want a kiss you oblige me? Do you love me? Do you care that I'm using the word love even though you're not my boyfriend? I feel like I'm walking to the edge and being on the verge of tears. The edge of my capacity, how much wistful fantasizing can I handle before it gets the best of me? They say you create what you think about. I believe it. I believe in a lot of things people think are supernatural but it starts to seem normal once you realize everything is imbued with consciousness. Um...is this interrogation too much? Are you scared? I have to ask because I need to know how you really feel inside. And not just about me. Please help me. * They say that you create and attract what you think about so then maybe it's not a surprise that years ago I was seeing flashes of my life today. Maybe even you're here because I thought about you so much. Do you think so? Do you think there's something mystical about life? I do. * Hey so I need someone who can keep me safe.I'm a woman. It feels unnatural for me to initiate everything. I heard you when you said you didn't identify as a man and honestly this was my reaction to it and you can tell me what you think after. This is how I feel about what you expressed: There is definitely a lot of reasons for you to not identify as a man, but I just want to bring it to your attention that there is a big difference between feeling that your gender and energy is not what you were born as, and rejecting the gender you were born as because it's associated with tyranny and evil. What do you feel are your motives for disidentifying yourself as male? * Presents for Jonathan: Anything that can open the third eye Anything calming Or grounding Art booklet Ideas for art booklet: I want it to be something with clear messages, since there's a lot of things I feel like I want to tell him. I should make a list of messages for him and create the art pieces to match. I want to make a second version of the cards I gave him because I feel like I didn't get it quite right. I can see it in my head. I want to give him some writings I've already done and some new ones. Should I send him the really manic ones? Hmmm.. Messages I want to give to Jonathan: Divine masculine/divine feminine Sickness is our creation and our job to cure truly. True curing seems magical to me. I love you I feel like we are the same It hurts to not hear back from you I love your name I don't know if the intense polarization I feel is a good or a bad thing I love you * You seem like someone I could share my life with. You're still some white boy and your aura is kind of...murky and weak but you are a sweetheart Why do you avoid me??? Are you ignoring me??? Why do I think I'm falling in love with you? You seem like someone I could share my life with. Oh fuck. Were you thinking about me too? Or am I just crazy. Please its getting to be painful. I need to know. Were you thinking about me too? Even though you didn't know who I was? Am I the blue haired girl of your dreams? Please help. Am I going crazy or is everything I think real? *How could it be that i have no idea what I'm doing or whats going on? I'm hungry Don't forget to make a note of messages received Everyone makes art Eveeryonne is afraid of aging because here on earth some people can't age with no grace or distinction * The way you left last night made me feel kind of hurt. I thought it was weird that you left so abruptly and i was questioning whether i was right thinking there was something between you and that girl and I was trying to keep my cool, from the moment I realized that was the same person I had freaked out over before. Like I believed that she was your friend and I actually still do weirdly enough not that its any of my business anyway cause you're not like, my boyfriend or whatever but I just feel like that. I was just sad when you left. Can I say something? I would feel worse if I just kept it inside. Its just that the way you left had me questioning whether there was something b/w the two of you and I know its not even my business cause you're not my boyfriend but I cant help it * Dear Jonathan wow it has been a whole week and you're still here!! Congratulations. I don't know how you're doing it. Just trying to mess with you I don't know why you thought you could ignore my text but then like my drawing on facebook o.k. that's really annoying!!! If I had one of those bags of apples I would throw them at your head!! Do you get it yet? Is there something to get? I would like you to. Do you have other girls you think about? Do you think about me a lot? I'm really jealous of your friend Ali Why did you leave like that with her and that old guy? You left in such a rush my friend noticed it too. I felt really hurt at the time and I kind of still do. Whatever fine she's your friend. But I'm still jealous and I still think it was inconsiderate that you left like that when I really think you knew it would make me upset. And then you didn't say anything when I messaged you. That was shitty. And then you liked by stupid post! I want to throw glass bottles at your head sometimes. Its like you drop off and just go into your own world. I miss you :( I'm still mad at you!! If you don't know what I want from you by now I'm going to scream * It ended up that my memory was good enough to not have to write down all the messages I receive. Hmm. I may have to write some down. Again, I know I can trust my intuition to tell me when is the right time * Congratulations you are our 100th visitor. I could scream in agony--i mean joy-- I'm breaking, I was already broken but I'm going to keep breaking more inside. I think nobody knows. And especially not you. How can I be sure You don't know what the fantasies are like in my head. I can't take it. It would be different if...it wasn't so far detached. And I don't know because I'm too scared to share 90 percent of the fantasies I have. It might be getting close to the time I have to go. I don't know. Its not that I have anywhere more important to be. Should I just say it? Please don't let me fall in love with you. I think you share my fantasies. I think me making jewelry is a sign from the divine and yet again I don't fucking know why. What about my blue hair? Have you seen me before? In your dreams? I think I need to bury my fantasies. Eventually. When they're dead. That will be the time. Get it out of my head so I don't feel like its me dying. What the Fuck?? Why aren't you doing anything? Why don't you ask me how I'm doing?I'm sorry that I'm so nervous you must hate me. I want to cry. I want to rest my head on your chest. I want to kiss you in Brooklyn again, I want to kiss you in my borough I want your hand between my legs everyone wants me but I only want you. I'm starting to see, you're very far away from me. Have you heard that the mind can't distinguish between thought and reality? So I was living in my daydreams and it felt like you were my boyfriend. I've always been afraid of deluding myself, because everyone around me seemed to have thought that thought itself was an enemy. Think about it Its all true Thought is adversary as well as friend. I know because if I hadn't thought my way here id be dead or non existent, barely a flash of lightning on another plane. Sorry I got carried away. You must hate me * I feel sexual I want him to be my flower My heart is far off. Longing and blind to what's right in front of me. Waiting to eat. Waiting to use the bathroom. Waiting in line. Wasting my time. Every day life is opinionated, it doesn't feel hollow anymore, since I broke the barrier. Haunted. Tells me where to go. Listen close. I think I love him I think it is our destiny to fall in love. Lethargy works like alcohol without you having to drink. Alcohol works like my kitchen sink. I think I love him. I'm never happier than when I'm daydreaming about resting my head on his chest, and we are resting in the grass. My magic is disorganized and has no ritual. I think I might feel a little better if I settle into a natural pattern, nature is my heart is far off is a forest is nature is my heart is running to catch me is right by my side again. Whether I want him or not when I think to it. When I think it too he comes to me, I think he is right by my side, I only thought of you because it felt good just to have you in my daydreams and imagination, I thought of you and I felt you coming, and then you were here and I screaming inside because I still think I might not deserve, and I need to know I need to hear you say that yes, you want to be here with me too. Because I was distracted I'm sorry. I love you too * Everything makes me angry I feel this heat in my entire body Who told me that my naked body was inherently sexual? Is a newborns body inherently sexual? Is sexuality bad? Is toxic Christianity going to be erased from American society? Banal Infidelities fiel diety stays loyal to me, there's only one diety, theres only one god I know that's wrong