#and if i were to speculate I would guess that the specific date within that window hasnt been announced yet

[felassan]

Do you think they would announce the release date once Veilguard finally get it's esrb rating? I'm not familiar with the testing but i wonder how long would it take for them to do that.

hello! ◕‿◕ I'm not familiar with the testing/esrb rating process and how it may relate to timing of announcing release dates, sorry. :<

Edit: a user with some experience of this in games kindly shared the following answer/info with me, to pop here (thanku!) -

"I actually do kind of have an answer about release dates/ESRB rating! They are not generally tied together for games, but the ESRB rating might effect when the release date is. As an example, if you're trying to stay within a certain rating (like the game I worked on did), you need to have time to change dialogue and items that could change the rating. In my case, we had to go through and remove curse words/alcohol references, and cut it close since the release date had already been announced. Dragon Age is intended for adult audiences and will likely get an M, so I don't think the rating is why the release date hasn't been announced yet."

[herohikara-wol]

FFXIV Write 2k23 - Day 4

Off the Hook (Modern Day Streamer AU)

“Welcome back Scions!” Hero beamed as he waved at his camera set up, the stream was live and his mod team was ready for the chaos. Hero was usually a cozy game streamer- if he wasn’t doing his baking streams, known for things like Animal Crossing or Stardew Challenge Runs. However, he could be convinced to do other styles of games- and one of his friends had talked him into trying something new. “No we are not taking a trip back to the farm today, we’re doing something special!” He already had the capture set up for the switch anyway.

So a few games of the new Splatoon wouldn’t hurt. “Alright chat, I want you to guess while I set up my switch. Mods, give ten thousand channel points to- let’s say- the first three correct guesses! I’ll help narrow the field though, it’s not an indie title and it’s got online multiplayer.” He actually was just waiting for the game to finish downloading, while keeping an eye on chat to see if his friend would show. Granted, he could just yell down the hall- but chat didn’t need to know they were living together now. It’d lead to rumors and unneeded speculation.

Especially since Zenos was supposed to be dating his lead moderator- Asahi.

Not that Hero wasn’t also dating Asahi, but there was this whole royal wedding fiasco that they had to resolve first and he didn’t want to make it public that they were a triad until it was resolved. Partially by suggestion of Zenos’ fathers. Specifically Regula, the biggest advocate for online safety and anonymity he knew. Partially because the pair of them have managed to keep their relationship out of the spotlight for years- hell, no one could even tell Varis had transitioned after having Zenos. The royal family knew how to keep secrets- even in an online era.

Finally Asahi posted a message in his mod chat.

[GildedSAM: Zenos forgot your Splatoon Debut stream was today.]

[GildedSAM: So I’m moderating his stream right now.]

Oh, that would explain a lot. Okay, Hero could work with that. He’d watch Zenos’ VOD later just to see whatever he did. Hero wasn’t one for games like League or whatever competitive fighting game of the week Zenos was punishing people in, but he liked to watch Zenos play anyway. He never got tilted, even when losing, he just got excited for a challenge. Watching his smile spread when he found someone who made playing interesting was Hero’s favorite part of his streams.

[CensorshipNutkin: thx for the intel]

[CensorshipNutkin: u n fordola got it covered?]

[GildedSAM: Between me, Tsuyu, and Fordola we should have Zenos’ stream under control.]

[CensorshipNutkin: kk]

Hero sighed a bit, that meant his team would just be Thancred and Raha today. That was fine, his streams usually didn’t get crazy so two would be enough. “Alright bets are off, let’s get this started!” He switched to the game screen to show off the Splatoon logo, “I played the WiiU version way back when so I’m not totally clueless, but I wonder how it’s changed for the switch. I think I’ll miss Marina though, I loved her outfit. Maybe I'll cosplay her sometime.” He winked at his chat and grinned as the heart emojis poured in. “Also, fair warning, I was a splat roller guy before so prepare for me to make a lot of mess.”

Honestly the stream was going great for a while- until he wound up in one specific lobby. “Who the flip is this sniper? He’s stupid accurate and-” Hero paused for a moment, long viera ears turning to ear Zenos talking to his own stream. He could barely pick up the words, “effective on rollers- can’t have that,” before he quickly pulled up Zenos’ stream on his other monitor. “Chat I’m going to have to pause after this game.” He was going to beat Zenos within an inch of his life over this. It couldn’t be intentional, he knew they weren’t trying to get into each other’s games.

Shame someone in chat realized why he was angry before he had the chance to elaborate.

[WarriorOLight and GarlicPrince are in the same lobby. GP just sniped WoL from half the map!!!]

Fuck, whelp that cat was already out of the bag.

Suddenly his chat lit up with messages of support. Calls to kick his ass and run him down were rampant.

“Guys I’m not going to chase him down specifically, that’s unsporting of me.” He laughed a little, calming down for the moment. “I am, however, going to turn this whole flippin’ map pink and send him a clip when I win.” Not if.

When.

Time to do what he did best, be a nuisance. Don’t get cooked, stay off the hook indeed.

[contractbound]

On Birthdays...

Months-old thoughts on my birthday (and birthdays in general), ranging from my current-day speculations on my "birth" to my relationship to the concept over the centuries. Taken from private messages and reformatted more into essay form (albeit a messy one, riddled with author's notes written today).

December 2023 ; 1459 words

In the present day, I oftentimes wonder what that day in April (I can never remember which day) means for me in specific. (Author's Note: Turns out it's the 17th. I was reminded by my friends wishing me a happy birthday on call at midnight last night.) Is it actually the day I came into existence, or does it have some other kind of significance? Since its specifically listed as my birthday, I'd assume it's the former, unless it's a symbolic "birth" in some way, shape, or form.

There's also the issue of how Tey/vat's days and months may differ from Earth's, and the accuracy of this birthday. I mean, it's probably the closest equivalent we have, since I'd imagine there's a "language barrier" (so to speak) between Tey/vat's time and Earth's time that's too severe to overcome. I probably couldn't figure out a "truer" birth date for myself even if I tried (though being canon divergent is always a possibility as well).

Also, thinking about my "birthday" within my and Gen/shin's general canon makes me wonder how I came into existence in the first place. Did I just spawn in? Did I have any form of "parent" or creator? I could be wrong, but my current theory is I simply manifested somehow (as in without the direct and intentional influence of outside sources), more or less fully grown, just obviously naive because I was new to the world. (Author's Note: Cloud Re/tainer's story has since more or less confirmed my suspicions by citing adep/ti as having been "born amongst the elemental energy that courses between heaven and earth", which aligns with my speculations. I find this information very interesting.)

Leaning fully into the topic of canon now, it's probably not that hard to guess how I might have regarded my birthdays during my time on Tey/vat. One thing I was very good at was staying in eternal stasis, specifically in a state of not caring for myself. It's not like I could even afford to care, most of the time. As such, for most of my life I had never once given my birthday any importance, and I doubt I ever acknowledged or even remembered it much, at least not without prompting from other people. (Author's Note: To an extent, I know I'm lying about not being able to afford to care for myself. I definitely couldn't afford to do so earlier in life, but after Mo/rax took me in, it was less of an issue. At times, it was even encouraged. Like I mentioned before...prompting from other people.)

Still, even if I never gave it any importance, I probably still had different views on the concept of "birthdays" depending on what stage in my life I was at.

Very early in my life (I'm not sure the exact timeline but I'm talking the first few centuries or even decades), I doubt I had any awareness of the concept of a birthday, or what significance it had. I was probably more or less aware of how much time i had existed for, but human concepts were not even on my radar.

Once I'd gotten into the habit of looking into people's dreams, I might've gotten glimpses of birthday celebrations, among other aspects of human culture. But since it would only be small zero context glimpses, I don't think that would have given me a thorough grasp on the concept anyway. I'm going to go with the assumption that I regarded birthdays with a little bit of acknowledgement and importance, but not at all towards myself because I wasn't aware that it could apply to me. My understanding, curiosity, and enthusiasm would only have been directed towards others and towards the concept itself.

Under my former god, they gave me a better look at human life and culture, and an even more potent look into their dreams. Something as specific as birthdays were likely never a focus, but would still be one of the many things I'd get to learn more about as I gained a further understanding of humans and how they worked. Unfortunately, this god was one that, at least during the war, resented human life, only seeing it as something to make an example of or use to their advantage. That's a tangent, however.

Basically, they weren't the best teacher for this kind of thing. While that phase of my life greatly deepened my understanding of dreams and anything about humanity that was revealed to me through them, the principles and beliefs drilled into me were cruel, and I acted accordingly. Overall, I'd say I gave the concept of birthdays minimal acknowledgement. The only importance given to it (if any) would probably have been according to the god's agenda. I still wouldn't be applying the concept to myself at all, and honestly my perception of time was probably completely demolished as well.

After being taken in by Mo/rax and having all the other Yak/shas with me, I was a lot more closed off towards the world. I was no longer curious or adaptable, and only wanted to focus on fulfilling my contract (i.e being nothing more than a weapon). The other Yak/shas did not share this sentiment, and were endlessly curious about mortal life. Of course, Mor/ax didn't share my sentiment either. Being our god, he had no intention to completely distance himself from the humans he had to protect and govern.

In the case of the other Yak/shas, if they knew their "birthdays", or picked some for themselves, I don't doubt they'd want to celebrate themselves and each other whenever the day came. Thinking about it, I get the feeling that if our birthdays were symbolic, chosen dates, we'd pick the days Mo/rax took us in...but that's tangential.

The others wouldn't let me off the hook until I told them my "birthday", and then when the day rolled around, wouldn't let me off the hook until I celebrated with them. I was stubborn, and considered it frivolous, but couldn't avoid them without feeling at least a little bad....so I let it happen. I was forced to acknowledge the occasion known as the birthday and give it importance. Not just as a general concept, either, but specifically mine and those of the people closest to me.

Well, I say "forced", but honestly, i came to enjoy it over time. Not that I'd ever admit it then.

As for the general concept and human customs, I closed myself off from that and stopped feeling curious. It really felt best to distance myself from mortal affairs as best as I could, and not involve myself more than necessary. Still, it was hard to completely distance myself when I had the others to forcibly involve me.

In the centuries following Fu/she's disappearance, I was completely closed off and truly lived only to fight, save for a few foolish personal endeavours. I could probably ramble on about this period of my life in general, but specifically in the context of birthdays, I don't think I have any insight.

Finally, in the time after meeting Aether...in many cases, it was like being back with the others. He developed a stubborn interest in me, and made me open my eyes to the world around me again. For the first time in centuries, I allowed my birthday to be acknowledged and celebrated.

The first time he wished me happy birthday and prepared a celebration for me, it was probably quite jarring. Honestly, I don't know if I ever got fully used to it. But I did eventually come to enjoy it. Over time, I opened up and let myself be curious again, and with Aether living regularly among mortals, I got to learn more than I ever had, with no strings attached, no ulterior motives. I doubt I ever came to fully embrace/understand mortal traditions, maybe calling them frivolous or confusing, but inside I enjoyed learning, and most of all sharing it with him.

Overall, this is probably the most (healthy) acknowledgement and importance I'd be giving to my birthday, and slowly I'd be letting myself be curious about birthdays as a general custom too. I'd also come to look forward to Aether's "birthday" as well, whether it was actually the day he came to be, or something symbolic.

I could never forget any other friends I'd let into my life, either. My social circle grew over time, and I had bridged many gaps between myself and the people around me. Most memorably, I grew closer to the other adep/ti, and occasionally joined their festivities.

Perhaps between immortals, the concept of a "birthday" works differently from how mortals go about it, but the sentiment stays the same.

[ardenrosegarden]

Hi! I'm not familiar with high medieval history but seeing your posts have made me super interested in certain historical figures of 11th century Brittany (specifically Hawise of Normandy, Bertha of Blois and Hawise of Rennes!!! Icons, all three of them)

It's really difficult to find information on their personal lives tho, so I wanted to ask: What kind of marriages did Geoffrey of Rennes & Hawise of Normandy and Hawise of Rennes & Hoel II have? I know that Bertha and Alan's seems to have been very loving, but I can't figure our anything for the other two.

Maybe I'm searching in the wrong places, so if there are any specific books that elaborate on them, please recommend! Thanks :)

Hello!

Thanks so much <3 and I agree! Those three lived in a really interesting period and their lives add really interesting context that I think makes them compelling to learn about :)

Unfortunately, historical evidence surrounding 11th century Brittany has a lot of gaps and omitted/lost information that makes it hard to tell for sure what certain relationships would have looked like and a lot of it has to be reconstructed with best guesses with the limited information we have.

I can only speak for what I've read, so if anyone has more resources or info they'd like to share feel free!

Regarding Hawise of Normandy and Geoffrey I, we don't really know a whole lot about their relationship as they were married in 996 and Geoffrey died in 1008 on pilgrimage to Rome. Joëlle Quaghebeur brings up an interesting angle regarding the double marriage of Hawise and Geoffrey and Richard II to Judith of Rennes as having marked differences in culture between the Bretons and Normans that affected how the two regions viewed the alliance, and my speculation is that it probably wouldn't be surprising if it bled into how the respective brides and grooms also viewed/interacted with each other. We're given a pretty rosy image of their marriage: "This was the maiden, very beautiful in body and agreeable in morals and honesty: and why, after the paction of their friendships, Geoffrey asked that she be given to him, at Richard's will which Richard granted himself with agreeable courage and by assent of the Norman Princes gives her to him as a wife in the Christian manner." One of the difficult things about trying to figure even the events of the marriage though is that a lot of the finer details of it mostly come from Guillaume de Jumièges- a Norman chronicler- so we're left with a mainly one-sided narrative that is predisposed to the opinion that Normandy has suzerainty over Brittany which also needs to be taken into account when trying to parse things out. That being said, the marriage did do what it was intended to do: during Hawise's lifetime, Normandy and Brittany were bound in much closer defensive alliance against Anjou, so in that regard it's hard to consider it an unsuccessful one. Some more resources on Hawise of Normandy: Amy Livingstone, Pious Women in a “Den of Scorpions” The Piety and Patronage of the Eleventh-Century Countesses of Brittany Joëlle Quaghebeur, Havoise, Constance, et Mathilde, princesses de Normandie et duchesses de Bretagne Pierre Le Baud, Histoire de Bretagne, avec les Chroniques des maisons de Vitré et de Laval

Historical consensus on Hoël II and Hawise seems to be a lot more straightforwardly confident on calling it a genuinely affectionate marriage. Laurence Moal specifically mentions their marriage in her section on marriage dynamics within the ducal family as one offering the image of "perfect harmony". Hawise of Rennes was not as politically prominent as Hawise of Normandy was, so unfortunately we don't have much information on her specifically, but what we do have points to Hoël and Hawise having the typical experience of their time/status/region of marrying in their late teens or twenties and having a pretty good partnership. I can't find hard dates for when Hoël and Hawise were born or when they were affianced, but it's likely that they married relatively young and there being no mention of Hoël having a concubine or illegitimate children, and he seems to have shown no inclination to take a mistress or remarry after Hawise's death. There is also the fact that Hoël seemed to have been deeply shaken by Hawise's death and the purpose of praying for her soul may have been one of the main factors motivating his decision to go on a pilgrimage to Rome in 1072. More on Hawise and Hoël/Hoël's family: Laurence Moal, Duchesses Histoire d'un pouvoir au féminin en Bretagne Jean-Christophe Cassard, Houel, Huuel, Compte de Cornouaille puis duc de Bretagne (circa 1030-1084) André-Yves Bourgès, Propagande Ducale, Rèforme Grégorienne et Renouveau Monastique Joëlle Quaghebeur, La Cornouaille du IXe au XIIe siècle Mémoire, pouvoirs, noblesse Joëlle Quaghebeur, Judith de Nantes, très pieuse, très noble, très sage comtesse de Cornouaille If you're inclined to historical fiction, Hoël and Hawise also feature as side characters in The Wolf Hunt by Gillian Bradshaw

It's possible there may be sources I've missed, or new ones may come out later, so if you're still looking for things I recommend looking through the works cited of some of the above materials or seeing if someone else cited them. I apologize for the vagueness that is the middle ages, but I hope this was somewhat helpful!

[storiesforallfandoms]

permanently ~ corpse husband

word count: 1456

request?: yes!

“Corpse husband x female reader. The reader is corpse wife but they keep there really private only a few people know that corpse is married, one day people start asking corpse if he is seeing someone and corpse doesn’t know if he wants to reveal he’s married because he worried she will get hate so he talks to the reader about it and his worries and the reader comforts him about his worries. Later corpse reveals in a video that hes married and everyone really happy and supportive of his marriage.”

description: in which he reveals a surprising secret to his fans after months of questions about his love life

pairing: corpse x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

It started when his fans heard her speak during a stream.

Corpse had been careful to keep his love life a secret for so long. He loved his fans, but he knew that if he even gave the slightest indication that he was seeing someone, the more extreme of his fanbase would go looking for her. He didn’t want any hate messages sent her way, she didn’t deserve any of that.

They had been so careful. (Y/N) would stay away from Corpse’s streaming room while he was streaming, or she’d sit next to him and make zero noise. Luckily, (Y/N) wasn’t famous, so they were able to share pictures and videos on her private social media accounts.

She had slightly pushed open the door to his streaming room one night, trying her best to make as little noise as possible in case his mic was on. Corpse noticed her from the corner of his eyes and turned to look at her.

“Mic off?” she whispered. Corpse chuckled and nodded. “I sent you a text but you didn’t respond. I’m gonna go get something to eat, do you want anything picked up?”

“I’m good for now, thank you.”

(Y/N) smiled and crossed the room to give him a kiss before leaving again.

For the half hour she was gone, (Y/N) lived in ignorant bliss, unaware of the chaos happening online.

When she got home, she found her husband pacing the kitchen. Concern was written all over his face, and it deepened when (Y/N) walked through the front door.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“The mic wasn’t off,” he said.

(Y/N) knew what he meant immediately, but she still couldn’t help but ask, “What?”

“When you came in during my stream, I thought I had shut my mic off, but I didn’t. My viewers heard us talking, and they heard us kiss. The chat went wild and it’s trending on Twitter already; #corpsesmysterywoman.”

(Y/N) grabbed her phone and went into Twitter. It was the top trend and it was flooded with tweets that ran from shocked to supportive and happy to, of course, hateful.

“On the plus side,” she started, “they’ll never be able to identify me just by my voice.”

“Doesn’t mean they won’t try.”

(Y/N) sighed as she watched Corpse start to bite his fingers, something he did whenever his anxiety ran high. She felt bad for him. He shouldn’t have to worry about his fans having a negative reaction about their marriage, and he definitely shouldn’t feel like he was to blame if his fans found her, which she knew he would.

(Y/N) touched Corpse’s shoulder, causing him to stop and look up at her. She took his hands in hers, wiping away the blood he had drawn.

“It’s okay,” she assured him. “We’ll get through this. Besides, I’m a big girl. I can handle this if anything happens.”

Corpse nodded. “I know, I just didn’t want you to be brought into this.”

“It was bound to happen eventually. Could’ve been worse.”

Corpse wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. She hugged him back, dreading the next time he’d have to go online.

~~~~~~

A week passed and the buzz around Corpse’s “mystery woman” did not die down. The hashtag trended for two days, and his fans were still speculating on Twitter. Corpse took some time off social media in hopes it would all blow over, but it became evident very soon that it would not. Everyone was still tweeting him about it, and it even began to escalate to people would ask Corpse’s friends during their streams.

Enough was enough, and Corpse decided it was time to address the issue.

He announced he would be doing a Q&A stream on his Twitter. Within seconds, the stream was trending.

(Y/N) sat on the floor next to Corpse’s chair as he set his stream up. She could see he was shaking with anxiety over the situation. She put a hand on his leg, bringing his attention to her.

“It’ll be okay,” she assured him. “I promise.”

Corpse gave her the best smile he could muster. He laced his fingers through hers, trying to calm himself down. Before he could back out of it, he started the stream.

The chat flooded with questions immediately, most of which were asking about her. Corpse was able to avoid these questions for as long as he could, until someone donated a super chat question specifically asking about Corpse’s relationship status.

“Are you taken?” he read. “Well, I guess I can’t get around it now. The answer is yes, I am taken, and I am taken permanently.”

The chat went wild at this. Corpse’s hands began to shake again and (Y/N) squeezed the one she was holding, trying to look up at him sympathetically. His attention was focused on the screen in front of him, trying to get the words out the best he could.

“The truth is, I was seeing someone for a long time. She isn’t a content creator or famous in any way, so I wanted to keep our relationship to ourselves. We’ve made it public with her friends and family, but as far as my YouTube life goes, I wanted to keep it a secret. At first it was because I didn’t want to announce the relationship and have it go south and we break up, but the longer we kept it a secret the more I knew I wanted it that way because it was just another aspect of my life I thought would be better to keep to myself. I didn’t want to bring her into a spotlight that she didn’t want, and honestly, I didn’t want any of my fans to know who she was.

“And marriage...well, it wasn’t something I ever expected to happen to me. We weren’t even dating all that long when we both got drunk one night and I just...I asked her. We both laughed it off at the time, but the next morning when we sobered up I realized I still wanted to marry her. So I asked her again, promised her I’d get her a ring when I could, and she said yes. Flash forward about a year and...I’m a married man.”

(Y/N) leaned her head against Corpse’s leg and smiled up at him. Through his nervousness and anxiety, she could see him reminiscing on the history of their relationship, the way she liked to do sometimes. Especially on the hilarious story of their engagement.

“I won’t be giving any more details besides that,” he said. “I will not stream with her if she does not feel comfortable, I will not be publicly stating her real name, I certainly won’t be posting her face on any of my social media. Especially without her permission as she has already said she doesn’t really want a life in the public eye. I am sorry I kept this from you all for so long, but I hope you can understand my reasoning, and I hope you will all treat my wife with respect. That’s all I really want.”

He continued with the Q&A. After enough time had passed for that information to sink in, you decided to check Twitter to see what the reaction had been. The top trend, within a matter of minutes, was #wearehappyforcorpse. The hashtag was flooded with kind messages congratulating Corpse on getting married and on finding the one. A few people were sharing Corpse’s wishes and warning the extreme fans not to go looking for whoever Corpse’s wife was until one of them made her identity public. There was very little negativity and, although (Y/N) had told Corpse this would likely be the case, she was relieved to know that it actually was.

When the stream ended, (Y/N) could almost physically see the weight that had been lifted off Corpse’s shoulders. She stood from the floor to sit on his lap. He took her in his arms and buried his head in her shoulder, letting out a long sigh of relief.

“That went well,” she said. “Almost like I said it would.”

“Don’t say I told you so,” Corpse said, lifting his head to smile at her. “Although, I also knew it would go fine.”

“Even if it went different, we would’ve dealt with it together. That’s what married couples do.”

Corpse leaned forward and kissed her gently. (Y/N) smiled as she broke away and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I’m so lucky to have you,” he said.

“You are.”

Corpse chuckled and playfully squeezed her as he kissed over her neck and face.

[tobiosmilktea]

serpentine — kozume kenma

4.2k words | genre/s: fluff | warning/s: cursing | pairing: kenma x f!reader

↪︎ in which nekoma’s new manager captures their setter’s attention

a/n: this was requested by an anon but i accidentally deleted the ask 💀 this wasn’t proofread btw since i’m posting this hella late (atp none of my works are anymore lmao) anyway, the ending is uhh... not good

it takes up to ten seconds for your brain to realize it’s making a decision. you weren’t sure how it all happened considering it didn’t feel like it took ten seconds, and yet somehow, in some way, you agreed to the offer. it was no lingering doubt in your head that you could very well have answered due to the way the third-year manager (all ready to graduate in a few months notice) was looming over you. the look on their face drenched in optimism and a coaxing smile. you liked to think you were a generous person and you couldn’t have possibly said no.

"thank you so much, (y/l/n)!” your upperclassman exclaimed, eyes widening in a bright blithe as they held you at your shoulders and shaking you. “you totally saved my ass getting beat by coach nekomata! see you after school!”

that’s when it dawned at you. were you seriously going to become nekoma’s newest manager for the volleyball club when you had zero knowledge on the sport let alone know how to properly manage a team full of towering individuals? your jaw was basically on the floor as you attempted to plead something back to their current manager, yet nothing was coming out.

you’ve got to be kidding me.

you slumped back at your desk, face still in awe as you couldn’t help but almost felt betrayed by your own selfish mouth that spoke before you could even fathom the task. a sigh escaped you when lunch came to an end and lessons came back in session.

it was no lie that you didn’t really pay attention much in class in the first place. you had a tendency to space out and daydream from time to time with thoughts that serpentine from one idea to the next. however, at one point all you could ever think about was the inevitable doom of having to go to the gym in just a few hours time.

the feeling wasn’t enough to cause an onset sensation of suffocation from nerves, but it was just rather unpleasant knowing that these volleyball jocks would be part of your daily life now.

like a plucked flower petal, your body stood from your seat the moment the final bell rang through the echoing hallways. as if you were moving on autopilot, you hadn’t even noticed how fast you were treading through the hallways. perhaps your nerves were the fuel to your fire as you forced yourself to slow down and mingle into the lightly crowded corridors. perhaps you were glad that your classroom was on the other side of campus from the gymnasium.

you were taking your sweet time and surely they would understand if you were a little late right? granted, it was all too last minute and who knows if you had plans after school or not. spoiler: you didn’t, but that’s beside the point.

at one point, you’ve concluded that you were still walking too fast on your way to the gym despite going at a snail’s pace. it didn’t matter either way as your honey-coated eyes had fallen over the doors of the gym. the right door remained shut while the left was wide open, letting sounds of squeaking sneakers, bouncing white volleyballs, and shouts emitted from the building.

your pace came to a halt just a few feet shy of the door. your hand clutching at your bag’s strap as you waited for a few beats to pass. you weren’t sure what you were waiting for, yet standing there felt like a safer bet more than anything.

“oh there you are, (y/l/n)!” a voice called out to you in the midst of your personal speculation. this forced your attention up to them as you gave them a meek smile. “don’t be shy, come in! let me introduce you to the boys.”

they grabbed you by the wrist, tugging you inside the gym as you shook your head. “uhh, you really don’t have to. i can meet them all later, everyone seems busy right now.”

“don’t be silly!” they wave their hand off like it’s nothing. you follow them to the sidelines of the court, eyes scanning the gym out of instinct—you’ve heard about the many horror stories of those who stopped by and ended up being the target of an oncoming volleyball. a broken nose was definitely the last thing you wanted.

your head turned from watching the volleyball players do their drills as you stopped in front of two bickering individuals. the shorter one with copper brown hair points an accusatory finger at the boy in front of him, the tip of his finger barely reaching the top of the other’s shoulder as he ran a hand through his gray hair. “i swear to god lev, if i hear another word from you i will—”

nekoma’s manager clears their throat.

“oh shit—ha, hey mizuhara.” so that’s their name, you thought. the shorter one greets with a smile, expression all normal as if a complete stranger didn’t just witness him yelling at his teammate.

mizuhara only scoffs, “you’ve always been one for first impressions, yaku, which is why i brought our new manager here in the first place, but i suppose i came at the wrong time.”

“this is our new manager?” the taller one then cuts in, completely pushing away yaku as if his shorter stature weighed like nothing. there was a swift kick in his step as he approached you closer, sticking his hand out for you to shake. man, was this guy tall. “i’m haiba lev, it’s nice to meet you!”

you shook his hand, nodding, “(y/l/n) (y/n).” you introduced before turning towards the poor volleyball player that was pushed out the way.

“yaku morisuke,” he answers without missing a single beat, “i’m nekoma’s libero—”

“that’s why he’s short!” lev interjects and yaku gives him a poisonous look.

you bite back a smile as the libero continues, “don’t be fooled by the height, though, i’m most likely older than you anyway and you look like the type to actually respect your senpais, unlike this guy.” yaku pokes lev.

“are you a third-year?” you ask curiously to which he nods.

“he thinks he can boss me around just because i’m only a first year, but the only one who can give me orders around here is coach and kuroo.” says lev with a smirk that radiated provocation. this seems to be a normal thing between the two of them.

“speaking of which,” mizahara chimed in, head turning towards the courts as your irises scanned for a specific person. “where’s kuroo? i obviously have to introduce our new manager to the team captain.”

“i think he’s still in the locker room talking with the coaches. i’ll go get him,” yaku muttered over his shoulder before walking away.

silence then ensued the trio like a wet blanket, nothing but the lingering sounds of volleyballs thudding against the glazed wooden floors and squealing rubber. everyone in the gym didn’t seem to be too phased by your presence and if they were, they were probably just too preoccupied with their own practice to even spare a single glance.

“so...” lev starts, teetering his weight back and forth as you look up at him. “you’re a second year, right?” you nod, words not wanting to come out. “cool. do you have a boyfriend—or a girlfriend, if that’s what you’re into. i don’t judge!” he laughs then, somehow easing your unease.

“stop asking such personal questions, lev.” a voice calls out from behind him, treading lightly towards you.

the first year shrugs innocently, “i was just curious, cap.”

“yeah, yeah,” kuroo waves him off, “go practice before i double your drills.”

lev nods, “yessir.” before dipping away.

kuroo then gives you a welcoming smile, one that feels quite genuine as his coaches appear behind him. “i’m guessing you’re our new manager in training, right? i’m kuroo if you don’t already know, it’s nice to meet you.”

you introduced yourself yet again, repeating the gesture to coach nakomata and coach naoi. they both radiated a calming, yet serious energy that you weren’t sure to be intimidated by. yet at some point, you shouldn’t even be thinking of such thing considering you would working with them for the rest of the school year and the year after that.

“here, i’ll call the rest of the team over to meet you.” kuroo suggests, his arm already waving everybody down before you could retaliate. “gather ‘round, we have someone you guys have to meet!”

his shout was accompanied by coach nekomata’s shrieking whistle, capturing the attention of the rest of the volleyball team as the sounds of hands impacting the white leather came to a halt.

perhaps that forgotten tingling of nerves had hit you right in the chest like a train the moment all their eyes fell on you. this was not it.

“a girl!” one of them exclaims, hair styled in a strange curly mohawk that charged his way towards you.

“jesus, take it easy yamamoto.” one with a darker complexion and buzzcut says, throwing you a pitiful smile as if to say ‘i’m sorry.’

“sorry, kai...”

you held back a bit of laughter behind your hand.

“everyone, this is (y/l/n) (y/n), she’ll be our team’s new manager.” coach naoi motions towards you, bag strap still clutched within your hands that your knuckles were turning alabaster. “please take care of her well.”

as kuroo opened his mouth to speak, the same one who shouted earlier—yamamoto, you think—cuts in again and says, “are you dating anyone?”

lev laughs from the back of the group, “i already asked her that!”

“but i still want to know!”

“please be respectful or i’m stealing your kneecaps while you sleep.” mizuhara deadpans before motioning for kuroo to speak.

the obsidian-haired captain rolled his eyes in amusement as he began introducing each member of the team one by one, “i don’t want you guys bombarding (y/n), so i’ll introduce you guys myself.” cue yamamoto groaning in disappointment, “the one that keeps asking you such personal questions is yamamoto, our wing spiker.” to which the same man salutes you and gives you a wink. “then there’s kai nobuyuki, our vice-captain. teshiro tamahiko, our pinch server. fukunaga shohei, our other wing spiker. lev and yaku, which you’ve already met. and kozume kenma, our setter.”

your eyes had landed on each and every one of them before abruptly stopping on the last one called. you knew of kenma and his familiar yellow-blond hair. granted, you were in the same year, but he was in a different class and just didn’t really have any interactions besides that one time you two had cleaning duty last year and had to take out the trash together.

the last time you remember him, he was quiet and didn’t speak much, yet there was always a charm within him that had you drawn to him from the start. it was a shame you two never really had a chance to get close.

you wonder if he still remembers you.

meanwhile, the moment your gaze landed upon him, kenma couldn’t help but choke back the rising lump forming in his throat. he surely never thought you two would meet again like this.

the last time he remembers you, you had quite the allure within the way you spoke so nicely. he recalls the way you two first met last year where he offered to take out your trash bag so you wouldn’t have to do work, but you utterly refused. your kind actions stuck with him and despite not being one to talk much in the first place, he couldn’t bring himself to ever speak knowing your lasting presence overran his nerves like a high wire.

kenma’s thoughts are interrupted by a pat on his shoulder, heavy and weighted. his looks over to kuroo’s giving him a sly side-eye as a smirk melted upon his best friend’s visage. 

“everyone, go back to practice,” kuroo commands, “mizuhara will take care of the rest.”

a chorus of discernable groans and ‘yessirs’ erupted in the gym as the hoard of volleyball players turned their backs towards you. everything seemed to be back to normal the way the echoing sounds of a run-of-the-mill practice was back in session. and despite the attention no longer being on you (thank goodness), there was still an inkling in your chest of someone’s eyes lingering as you looked back to mizuhara.

“that’s the girl, isn’t it?” whispers kuroo to kenma, practically scaring him out of his unbeknownst trance that was stuck on you.

the setter didn’t answer right away as he twirled the volleyball in his hand, eyes searching the bronze floorboards below him to find an answer he knew he couldn’t find. “it is,” he sighs.

kenma didn’t like lying, anyway.

you weren’t sure how it really happened. you supposed it was just mere fate or purely the universe throwing you a bone that within two weeks of being nekoma’s newest manager, that you would somehow, someway, found yourself glued to kenma’s side for the majority of the day.

it first started off like this: normal. nothing much had changed to your daily school life besides the fact that you stay after school every day for volleyball practice now, but that’s was beside the point. It continued on like this for a few days, until your scanning gaze over the practicing volleyball players almost always ended up stopping on kenma.

it didn’t matter what he was doing at the time whether he was sweating his ass off playing a practice game or simply staying on the sidelines, body hunched over with his dyed hair falling over his face as he played his video game.

unbeknownst to you, though, your stares were everything but discrete. kenma had always been quite skilled at hiding his emotions and looking nonchalant as possible. either that or he just had no filter whatsoever—there was no in between. 

at first, the attention would always send his heart spiraling out of control. you were always on the other side of the gym when this happens, and he’s glad for that fact considering you couldn’t have seen the way his hands shivered slightly at the way you looked at him.

don’t even get him started on the way his usual patience ran lower and lower the more his teammates flirted with you. from yamamoto’s blatant disregard of your crystal clear unease to lev’s constant presence around you, had affected kenma more than he had hoped.

god, he hated feeling this way, and yet it was addicting that why you still looked at him regardless.

perhaps it was the only reason why he started reciprocating your sly glances to vie for your attention—granted, he already had it.

the subtle linking of your gazes eventually turned into smiles across the court to kenma finally getting the courage to walk up to you after practice. the sky was dim, shrouded by the last few sunrays of the setting sun as he offered to stay behind to help clean up. usually, he would be one of the first ones to leave the gym with kuroo by his side to walk home, but it didn’t take much for his best friend to know what he was up to.

you were folding up one of the volleyball nets at one end to which the setter reached for the other. he folded along the lines, eventually meeting you halfway to which you could say that’s where it all started.

the blossoming of a new friendship.

something about the way you two complimented each other so much, that the moment you two even started talking, it felt like two old friends reuniting. you felt at home with kenma and he liked being by your side.

you supposed that sensation of familiarity you found in kenma led to your days of shy glances to each other turned into eating lunch together to even walking side by side to practice. you both had a knack for being seen with each other to often, that people started to suspect things. from your classmates to the rest of nekoma’s volleyball team did they tread lightly around the subject. it wasn’t like it was any of their business anyway, but good gossip is always entertaining.

“can you please help me beat this level, kenma?”

“absolutely not,” the setter deadpanned, flicking you a tired look as you two neared the opposing school’s gym.

poor kuroo was third-wheeling a few feet behind you.

the night prior, you and kenma stayed up until the sunlight’s orange hues teased away the shadow of the moon, the quiet night in suburban tokyo was filled with your laughter through your gaming headsets. you two stayed up all night playing video games or simply just talking the night away, bridging over the same gap that had already been filled. surely, it was a terrible idea considering kenma literally had a game the next day, but his only excuse was hanging out with you was much better than wallowing in nervous thoughts, so he digresses.

“why not?” you gasp with offense written over your face as clear as day.

kenma shrugs, “maybe after we win this game, i’ll help you beat it.”

you hum in response, tucking your phone back into your windbreaker as you felt the rush of air-conditioned cold air breeze through your hair. approaching the benches, you quickly greet the opposing team’s manager and coach before situating yourself back to nekoma’s side of the court. mizuhara was already in the process of taking out the empty water bottles and placing them into holders to fill them up.

“i’ll help with that,” you offer as you had already picked up a bottle, but mizuhara waved you away with a smile.

“no, no, i’ll take care of this. you can start telling the boys to get changed and have them gather around coach nekomata.” they say, feet already trailing out towards the water fountains as you nod.

your hand scratched the nape of your neck as you turned towards the boys, mouth opening to speak and yet they seemed to already be one step ahead of you. their red tracksuits were already off and stuffed into the deep ends of their duffle bags—it was obvious with the way their bags bulged from the crammed clothing items.

a sigh leaves your lips, shrugging to yourself as it seemed like there wasn’t much to do when the majority of the things were sorted out already. sitting atop the courtside bench, you pulled your phone out of your pocket, typing in your password as you immediately opened up your game. the real game wasn’t going to be starting for the next ten minutes anyway, surely there was enough time to attempt to beat a level within that time span.

your hands gripped the sides of your phone with eyes focused to each detail the flashing graphics shined upon your face. you were so caught up within your own little world, that the ambient sounds of talking murmurs and approaching footsteps bled together.

kenma clears his throat before dropping onto the bench next to you. he peered over to your screen for a second, almost laughing at how much he had rubbed off on you. he feigned himself from scoffing at the way you hadn’t even acknowledged him, but he couldn’t you. it was technically his fault for introducing you to this game. besides, you looked so adorable with the way you would bite your lip whenever you were at the verge of dying.

you groaned, dropping your arms in defeat as you pouted towards him, “i died again.”

“i can see that,” he amused. rolling your eyes at the look he gave you, you rested your elbows upon your thighs again as you reset the level. however, before you resume on playing, the setter swiftly snatched your phone out of your hand.

for once he had to help you with this one.

“watch and learn, (y/n).”

you huffed at his cockiness, resting your chin upon kenma’s shoulder.

usually, he would find himself tensing at your contact, but lately, he’s been treasuring these little moments with you. kuroo would often catch himself off guard whenever he finds kenma cozying up to you like a kitten. this was definitely not something he would usually do unless of course, it’s for someone he is absolutely in love with. it was obvious the way kenma tried so hard to hide his feelings, yet still failing despite the nonchalant exterior. 

if only you two just confessed to each other already, this would’ve been easier on literally everyone here.

kenma seemed pretty confident—so incredibly sure that he would beat this level for you that you couldn’t help but find it the tiniest bit attractive... okay maybe a lot. from the way his fingers intricately worked at the game as if it was second nature. you wondered how in the hell he plays so well, but the hours he puts into gaming was no surprise. within minutes, he had already beat the level.

“holy shit!” you exclaimed in excitement as you pulled yourself off of him, grabbing your phone to look at the ‘VICTORY!’ screen just to make sure it was legit.

the setter couldn’t help but feel the ends of his lips tug into a small smile as he admired the glow in your eyes. he liked it when you looked like this—grinning as if you were an absolute maniac with sugarcoated teeth of saccharine.

you beamed at him, “you’re amazing.”

there is was again, his rapid beating heart causing an avalanche between kenma’s lungs. he couldn’t get used to the way you make him feel. it still felt like the same rising warmth that hugged him like a bear whenever you would praise him or let out a slick laugh. he really liked your laugh. he discovered that about himself the first time he made you giggle over your first discord call together. it sounded like a forgotten epiphany finally finding itself back to him that he wanting to make you laugh again and again. even though the low-quality grain of the microphone, it was enough to ease his yearning to just hold you within his arms.

hearing you laugh over a call was one thing, but it hit differently in real life.

“yeah, right,” kenma scoffs, almost unconvinced. he leans over a bit more, his shoulder touching yours as he tapped a few buttons on your screen. his expression was almost unfazed as you continued staring at him. “you don’t mean that.”

kenma looks back up at you. his lips purse together, forcing the lump forming in his throat when he noticed how close your faces were. his eyes flickered over your features, memorizing them as if this was his last time ever seeing your face. for a brief moment, you felt your heart stop again and again. it punched against your ribcage with such brutal force, you swore kenma could’ve heard it. 

you chuckled nervously, taking a deep breath as the words spilled out of your mouth. “i don’t lie to people i have feelings for.”

it ended up being softer than you thought it was. you supposed it was the way you were so careful to approach kenma’s lips, slowly and gently, just in case he wanted to pull away. in fact, you did expect him to pull away no matter embarrassing it may have been. there was such a pouring downfall within you that maybe you were okay with that possibility of him rejecting your kiss if it meant that there was a chance he might return it.

his lips were like velvet when he kissed you softly. even if it was a brief moment of vulnerability, you were both aware of how inappropriate it was to kiss not only your closest friend, but a member of your team just minutes before a game.

you pulled away then, hands slapping over your cheeks to hide the crimson red blush that suspended itself all the way up to your ears. kenma looked just the same, but he simply looked away.

you prayed that the rest of the guys did see—but they did.

kuroo saw it first, having to do a double-take the moment you pulled away from kenma. honestly, no one would’ve noticed if yamamoto’s loud ass shout didn’t echo throughout the gymnasium. as if your sudden humiliation moved like a domino-effect, jumping from one person to another.

you pushed yourself off the bench, hoping your hair would cover your tomato-colored face as you excused yourself to the bathroom.

right as your figure left the gym, the boys immediately ran towards kenma, still in a dazed state. the poor setter’s lips still buzzed from the kiss no matter how short it was. it still sent flickers of electricity through him as kai shook his shoulder.

“since when were you and (y/n) a thing?” he questioned quite loudly.

he acted as if kenma even knew the answer to that. if anything, he was just glad that he was saved by the buzzer as the game was to start. he let out a sigh as he scanned all of his teammate’s expressions, pushing himself off the bench. “don’t look at me like that.”

[jalboyhenthusiast]

random question what’s the biggest proof of larry we have

ive spoken about this a little before but to me “proof” is a funny thing. i dont think there’s one specific moment or event that solidifies everything i “believe” and its not something that i still look for or need. to me the most telling thing, and the biggest “proof” i guess, is the dichotomy between what we were fed by the media/1dhq vs what we could actually see and what makes logical sense. and this started from day one and has yet to change.

for example if we were to go as far back as the introduction of eleanor... her age, her background, their anniversary etc all of these things have literally changed over the years. they were sold as a perfect couple but they couldnt even get the narrative straight over how they met. they tried to sell us the story that harry introduced them (lol) when in reality harry was barely even friendly with her not to mention this is how he reacted around the two of them. 

the fact that the boys even had to acknowledge and deny dating rumours in and of itself is bizarre and i cannot stress enough how insane it was that stories were run which said the dating rumours had ruined their friendship. by that time the band was huge and gaining worldwide success, there would be no universe where they would allow this to be threatened because of friction within the band. if there was actually any drama, it would have been carefully covered up and the media narrative would have been controlled. think about how we didn’t even know liam and louis didnt used to get on until they told us themselves years later or how zayn was thinking of leaving for ages before we knew. its not normal to capitalise off internal friction unless there was something bigger to hide and its not normal to completely alienate and villainise a huge and passionate subset of fans who are making you money (but you might think its normal bc you believe theyre threatening the loss of even more money). 

its not just that this tactic doesnt make logical sense but its also that we could see it wasnt true. how many times did they reach for each other on instinct before dropping their hands when they remembered?

(x)

(x)

and it wasnt just reaching for each other, they couldnt even look at each other in the same way they could look at the others and this went on for yearssss.

they were supposedly so disgusted and torn up by gay rumours that it ruined their friendship to the point they couldnt stand to be in the same room as each other but they continued getting complimentary tattoos for years, harry was at jays wedding in 2014 and treated like a member of the family, they shared a dressing room in 2015, louis got the dagger tattoo after a year of fans speculating that he would, this video showing exactly what their first instincts irt each other are, and lets be real the entirety of the 2015 promo run. 

(x)

not exactly the behaviour of two ex bffs and enemies :/ so why the completely contrasting public narrative hmm??

and this is all just some of the things which happened while they were in the band that dont make sense alongside the story we were sold. if they were so annoyed by larries/rumours surely they would 100% shut that down once going solo.... but no.. instead harry has a stroke live on air when asked about it and even says “i don't think I'd ever want to tell someone that they're wrong” and louis does the infamous iphone conspiracy denial which not only was the least convincing thing anyone has ever seen but actually starts with a lie: “ive never been asked about it directly”. yes you have sir, many times.

the “larries ruined their friendship” narrative is what they’ve been saying since 2012 and is exactly what ppl use against us to this day but literally everything they do undermines this. it wasnt even 3 months ago that louis wore a shirt with a huge H on it, it was less than 2 months ago that we found out harry takes the title for biggest Bluegreener with sockgate dflgkdf and it was less than one month ago that louis did/approved of this. if they hate the rumours so much and if its so damn disrespectful to them/their respective partners/families/whatever else why do they keep alluding to it and each other. even their friends are at it. (and lets not forget how fun umbro!day was!)

how can anyone see all of this and how little it ties up with the public narrative thats been painted since 2012 and think thats normal? the public relationships that both of them have been in and how highly publicised they’ve been when they are both private ppl? the lyrics about long term love harry has been consistently writing when hes “never been in a relationship” thats lasted longer than a year? none of it adds up unless theyre together and have been from the start. which they are and have been 😌

anyway, my point is that the big picture will always be the most telling “proof” and why so many of us are still here after a literal decade.

[daisyachain]

hi!! i've been reading through your ao no flag liveblogs lately and they're really interesting! i enjoy seeing someone so passionate about this manga and it makes me want to reread it .... i'm really interested in hearing what you have to say about masumi's ending though!! part of me thinks it makes sense but i'm mostly conflicted on it and would love to see it from your perspective ^^

haha well thank you! ah yes, the arc that created as much controversy as you can get in an active readership of like 10 people...

Blue Flag is an imperfect story, but it also gets a lot of flack for things that a) didn't...actually...happen, b) didn't happen in the way people think they did.

Part 1: Is it actually straightwashing?

The most common criticism I see of Masumi's ending is that she was written as a lesbian character and straightwashed at the end. Marrying off a female character as a way to 'fix' her issues is a common and harmful trope, and saying that lesbian women just need to get a man is a widespread homophobic trope and talking point. So, it's not a good look. To have a character angst over interest in a woman and end up happily married to a guy reads like a '50s pulp novel that just uses f/f attraction for marketing.

But, if the intention of the ending was to show that Masumi should give up on women and force herself to date men, then it doesn't. Mitsuyuki's description of her is 'look at my bisexual wife who has dated both women and men and could also have married a woman', which is an odd choice if the intention was straightwashing. It feels more like a clumsy way to make sure that, in a series full of ambiguity, there could be no argument that Masumi was queer. That isn't to say that cisstraight people don't view bisexuality as less/better than/straighter than her being lesbian and that making a previously gay character bisexual isn't still straightwashing (increasing the appearance of straightness).

Part 2: Was it actually a retcon?

So: Masumi's ending reaffirms that she's a WLW. One question is, was she always meant to be bisexual, or was she originally written as lesbian?

Blue Flag doesn't have a lot of straight (no pun intended) answers. Taichi never expresses any explicit attraction to guys, but there is enough subtext to suggest he's attracted to Touma well before the finale. Futaba believes she is attracted to Touma at first and is shown to be attracted to him using the visual shorthand of manga (blushing, etc.), but she later says that it was just misinterpreted admiration. Mami doesn't want to date Touma or any man, but she implies that she is attracted to Touma when she says around him she was 'glad to be a woman.' Within the main romance, Futaba says that it was specifically because Taichi was a friend to her that she grew to like-like him. The lines between friendship and romance are blurred in Blue Flag, and sometimes romance can only grow out of friendship.

Masumi has a tense conversation with Taichi in the first half after she breaks up with her boyfriend that most people (me included) read as her saying that she tried guys and she just isn't and can't be attracted to them. However, it's Blue Flag, so the conversation is unfocused and doesn't paint a complete picture.

"Even if I get a boyfriend, I can never make it work"/"I don't know why [I don't like him anymore]" seem to imply that Masumi realized that she was feeling compulsory heterosexuality and that she will never like men. "[I don't know] why he like someone like me"/"You can be friends with potential sexual partners? With both guys and girls?"/"I just wanted to hear how you men feel about [a girl liking other girls]" seem to imply that Masumi is bisexual and is afraid to date because someone might find out. Maybe she's written as questioning--she knows she likes Futaba, but she's feeling out other possibilities. It's Blue Flag, so it's unclear.

Part 3: How does it work with Masumi's arc?

Diving further into Masumi's story, she acts as a foil to Touma (and Futaba, see later). Touma feels free to show his affection for Taichi as a friend as well as a love interest and almost confesses to him of his own free will, well before he's forced to. Touma tells her that he intends to try and set Taichi up with Futaba (because they would be good for each other), and also that he intends to pursue Taichi in some way. He tells her he's "not like [her]."

For Masumi's part, she tells Touma that she wants to express more affection for Futaba--not necessarily in a romantic way, just to participate more fully in that relationship--but she's afraid to, she doesn't feel confident enough to try, and that she's "the worst" because of it. We see this theme repeated, that Masumi is pessimistic, is afraid to trust people and hates herself for being afraid. Her conversations with Aki and Mami explore this; Aki tells her that it's not bad to be insecure or unready and that it's fine to keep a secret/stay closeted until she's ready, Mami tells her that she does have people she can trust, who care about her and who will do their best to understand her and help out. Why am I typing all this out? Because Masumi is a bitter, insecure wlw and that is an Established Trope, but her twist on it is that her negativity or bitterness isn't over her attraction to women/to Futaba or even over the reaction she might get from others (as Touma's is), it's over her own insecurity. Like Futaba, she's hesitant to act on her feelings, and like Futaba, she gets frustrated and hates herself for her own inaction.

All that is to say--Masumi is never shown to have a problem with her attraction to women. Her angst isn't gayngst, she's not ashamed of her feelings for Futaba bur rather her inability to express them. Her problems are with social attitudes and more with her own personal feelings--she and Touma face similar problems, but Touma is simply aware of the consequences (being roughed up and ostracised by a certain group of people) while Masumi feels a more generalized and ambiguous fear.

If Masumi were shown to have mixed feelings about her queerness/were shown to be in denial/were shown to be trying to move on from Futaba, then her ending would read more as straightwashing. As it is, there's nothing in her character and arc to say that she'd ever want to erase that part of herself or get rid of it, rather, she wishes she could embrace it but she just doesn't feel confident in doing it. Her ending shows her as an openly bisexual woman who is out to her friends and husband at the very least, which is a completion of her arc in the manga (of learning to trust other people and express her feelings honestly).

Part 4: What context clues does the rest of the series give us?

This is branching off a little from the strict text of Parts 1-3. As I've said, as we know, Blue Flag is 50% subtext and interpretation. Characters speak, but they don't say what they mean, characters think, but they're not always honest with themselves or in tune with reality. Mami is an ominous and antagonistic figure in the first half, but then it just turns out that Taichi was jumping to conclusions. Taichi is the main character and narrator, but we get radio silence from him for like 7 chapters after the climax. Taichi is bisexual, but the reader has to guess that from the way the art style shifts between PoVs, the similar panelling between Futaba and Touma's confessions, the things he does and does not think about Touma and how he feels about them. It's safe to say that there is room for speculation.

First, there is no explicit evidence that Taichi could be bisexual before ch 54. It's easy to tell that he is, but again, there's nothing specific. Some people reading Blue Flag have said that him marrying Touma was out of character, unforeshadowed, bizarre, inexplicable, etc. because their experienced is coloured by their own heterosexuality. Masumi is shown to have dated a guy and in saying she didn't like him "anymore," implied that she did like him. Her conflicted feelings over her bf could well have been foreshadowing her liking men as well, and my reading that as comphet could have just been my own experience colouring the text. Who knows! Taichi's bisexuality was intentional from the start but could be read as a last-minute twist, so why not Masumi's?

Second, Mitsuyuki is Futaba 2.0. Same colouring, same personality. This could feel like a way of saying "Masumi just needs to like guys instead," but to me it reads deeper with some of the trans subtext around Futaba. One of my issues with Blue Flag is that it doesn't go further into Futaba's admiration/envy for masculinity and her uncomfortable relationship with femininity. As a cis woman who wants to be buff and mildly masculine, I can understand why she's a cis girl throughout and I don't necessarily think that she was supposed to be a trans guy. However, her relationship with masculinity draws a parallel to Mitsuyuki. Reading Mitsuyuki as a cis man, he is the combination of Futaba's personality and looks with her 'ideal form.' So, Masumi marrying Mitsuyuki can read as Masumi marring Ascended FutabaTM.

Third, Futaba having a faceless prop husband is interesting in the context of Mitsuyuki getting a name and personality. Mitsuyuki = Futaba and Mr. Kuze is a blank space, so the reader is prompted to reduce the scenario and slot Masumi into that blank space. Given Masumi and Touma's history as foils, I'm inclined to think that Mitsuyuki exists to show the road not taken. Back at the fireworks, Touma tells Masumi that he hasn't given up on Taichi, and Masumi says she doesn't intend to pursue Futaba even though the pining is making her miserable. Given that Futaba reacts a lot better to the idea of Masumi liking her than Taichi reacts to the idea of Touma liking him, given that we see Masumi has successfully wooed male!Futaba, I think that Masumi's ending shows that she could have ended up with Futaba if she chose to pursue her. She didn't and she still got a happy ending where she is confident in her sexuality and unafraid to trust, but she could have also had a happy ending where she married Futaba. Mitsuyuki is a man because desire-for-masculinity is a key aspect of Futaba's character, and Mitsuyuki is a named character with a personality because KAITO wanted the reader to know that Masumi could have ended up with Futaba (as Touma ended up with Taichi).

Fourth, KAITO's notes on volume give us a few hints. He comments that there was remarkably little interference with his story and that he was able to tell it as he wanted, and that the ending was meant to be a "question" to the reader. The way I see it, Masumi's ending wasn't meant to say "maybe you'll be fixed if you get a man" but rather was meant to complement Taichi's ending and say "things happen in ways you might not expect, but that doesn't mean they're bad."

Fifth, Touma/Taichi ending up together shows us that the series is willing and able to show queerness as a good thing and a happy ending, so it's unlikely that Masumi was meant to come off as "actually she just needed a man" and more as "life can be unpredictable but you can always find happiness"

Summary

It's unclear whether Masumi was written as a bisexual woman or a lesbian woman or a questioning wlw

I personally read her as a lesbian and I wish that part of her character had gotten more exploration

Masumi's ending wraps up her arc (struggling to trust other people with her feelings in general and her queerness in particular) in a satisfying and logical way

Masumi being bisexual does not in any way negate or lessen her identity and experienes as a wlw, bisexual people still face external and internalized homophobia and all the associated issues

Masumi's bisexuality may well have been foreshadowed, but the execution makes it easier to read her as a lesbian, which makes her ending seem like a homophobic cop-out in the style of the Hays Code

Masumi's ending doesn't straightwash her and goes to unusual lengths to affirm her attraction to women

Masumi's ending seems to be written to contrast Touma's ending, showing that getting or not getting the love interest depends entirely on whether you choose to pursue them

It's unlikely that authorial intent was to straightwash Masumi

[michaels-blackhat]

thoughts on evil Forrest 😈

We are going to start out by apologizing. This is very very late. I’m sure when you sent this ask, you meant it to be in the same joking tone that I approach all of my other propaganda posts. Sadly, this is actually going to be a deep dive into a few Evil Forrest related things, including the moment I feel they changed directions, the perfect wasted build-up, and the implications of the change/how it then negatively impacted the story. As I’m sure you already know, by being on my blog at all, I don’t think the story was good to begin with, so we are going to focus on the weird hoops they made themselves jump through to make that story still work. Additionally, I am only going to mention once, right now, how much of a waste it was to not have Forrest ‘fall for his mark’ and complete one of my absolute favorite tropes. Honestly, I think “because I want it” is a completely valid reason to like Evil Forrest. But, the question was “Thoughts on Evil Forrest” and these thoughts have been developing for over a year and a half. So, I apologize in advance.

The majority of this is under a cut, with highlights in the abstract. If no one wants to read this, I understand completely. Go ahead, skip it.

Note: it pains me greatly to not actually have full sources for this essay. Just know that in my heart I am using proper APA citations, I just absolutely do not feel like digging through tweets to find sources to properly cite.

Abstract:

Previous research indicates that Roswell New Mexico has a history of repeating excuses to explain mid-season changes to plots. This essay explores how those excuses are not only loads of crap, but how they hinder the show’s ability to tell a coherent story, misuse the multiple-plot structure to enhance the themes being explored, and lead to decisions that mean the show continuously goes over budget. This also means that characters are not used to their full potential and has led to what some fans consider to be “out of character” behaviors. While these behaviors are not universally agreed on, evidence can be shown that these behaviors directly contradict emotionally important character arc/plot points in the show.

The author of this paper acknowledges that the show took some strides to mend this problem. However, once again no consensus could be found on whether Forrest was a low-level member of Deep Sky and thus just allowed to fuck off on a bus, or his job was recruitment because he did a piss poor job of making Alex not join.

The concept of Evil Forrest has been with the fandom as early as New York Comic Con (NYCC) in 2019, when it was revealed that Alex had a new “blue-haired love interest”. Speculation abounded within the fandom, with some people, including the author, going “yeah, he’s evil” while others rejoiced in the concept of Alex having a loving partner. Speculation increased as fans discussed Tyler Blackburn’s seeming disinterest in his new love interest, prompting some once again to scream “EVIL” at the top of their lungs to anyone who would listen. Very little was revealed, beyond the fact that the new character would show up somewhere around episode 3 of the second season.

Episode 2.04 aired with some commenting on how he barely interacted with Alex- prompting more evil speculation- and others excited to see the characters interact more. The character appears again in 2.06, where he invites Alex to dubious spoken word poetry (which Alex attends); 2.08, where they have a paintball date and go to The Wild Pony; 2.10, where the two are seen writing together briefly at the beginning of the episode; and 2.13, where Alex performs his song at open mic night, tells Forrest his relationship with the person in the song was long over, and they kiss. Forrest was not revealed to be evil during season 2.

Amidst the season airing, Word of God via Twitter post announced that yes, Forrest had originally been planned as a villain, though not the main villain, but it was changed as filming progressed.

The Word of God Twitter post revealed that Forrest had originally been planned as a villain, but they decided that they could not make their “blue-haired gay man” a villain. This mirrors a similar situation and excuse used the previous season, where the character of Jenna Cameron was originally planned to work with Jesse Manes against the aliens, before it was changed because they just “loved Riley [the actress] too much”. Both of these examples occurred while already filming and reflect on a larger problem with the show. Though not the topic of this essay, it is important to note that both characters are white, both in the show and by virtue of being played by white actors. The fact that they couldn’t be villains for one reason or another is not a courtesy extended to the male villains who are all the most visibly brown, and thus ‘other’, members of the cast.

This also highlights the fact that, via Twitter, it has been revealed two other times that occurrences that were reported in season 1 also occurred in season 2. During the airing of episode 1.02, it was revealed that the single best build-up of tension in the show- when Alex walks to the Airstream not saying a word to Michael after a dramatic declaration- happened because one actor was sick at the time and they had to go back and film the kisses later. At the point of airing for episode 2.08, it was revealed that one of the actors were sick and unable to film a kissing scene. Allegedly, this caused the writers to retool the entire scene and deviate from the plan to make that subplot about Coming Out. The execution of this subplot will be explored later in this essay.

The last occurrence revealed via Twitter also revealed larger issues within the show: lack of planning and poor budgeting. During the airing of season 1, Tyler Blackburn was needed for an extra episode beyond his contracted 10. A full explanation was never given, but speculation about poor planning and to fill in because Heather Hemmens had to miss one of her 10 episodes due to scheduling conflicts for another project. During the airing of season 2, yet another tweet came out saying they made a mistake and Tyler would once again be in an additional episode. No explanations beyond “a mistake” were given, though once again speculation occurred. It is the opinion of the author that this was due to changing plot points over halfway through writing, while episodes were already in production. It has been speculated by some that these changes occurred during the writing of 2.08, which was being finished/pre-production was occurring roughly around the time of NYCC 2019.

Previous Literature:

A brief look at different theories of plots and subplots

Many people have written on the subject of plotting, for novels and screen alike. The author is more familiar with film writing than tv, but a lot of the concepts carry over. Largely, the B- and C- (and D- and E-… etc) plots should reinforce the theme of the A-plot. This can be through the use of a negative example, where the antithesis of the theme is explored to reinforce the theme presented by the A plot, or through other examples of the theme, generally on a small scale.

A movie example of this would be Hidden Figures (2016), where the A-plot explores how race and gender impact the main character (Katherine Johnson) in her new job. The B-plots explore the other characters navigating the same concepts in different settings and ways- learning a new skill as to not become obsolete and breaking boundaries there (Dorothy Vaugn) and being the first black woman to complete a specific degree program and the fight it took to get there (Mary Jackson). A TV example that utilizes this concept of plot and theme is the 911 shows. Each of the rescues in a given episode will directly relate to the overall theme of the episode and the overall plot for the focus character. This example is extremely blunt. It does not use any tools to hide the connection, to the point you can often guess the outcome for that A-plot fairly quickly.

This is not the only way to explore themes within visual media. Moonlight (2016) looks at three timestamps in the life of Chiron. Each timestamp has a plot even if they feel more like individual scenes or moments rather than plots as some are more used to in films. Each time stamp deals with rejection, isolation, connection, and acceptance in different ways. So while there is no clear A-, B-, or C-Plot, each time stamp works as their own A-Plot to explore the themes in a variety of ways, particularly by starting out in a place of rejection and moving to acceptance or a place of connection to isolation.

Please note that there are many ways to write multiple plots, there are just two examples.

While there are flaws within season 1 of RNM, overall the themes stayed consistent throughout the season, mainly the theme of alienation. The theme threads through the Alien’s isolation/alienation from humanity which is particularly seen through Michael’s unwillingness to participate and Isobel’s over participation. There is Rosa’s isolation from others, how her friendship with “Isobel” ended up compounding her existing alienation from her support system due to her mental illness and coping mechanisms. We see how Max and Liz couldn’t make connections. This theme presented itself over and over in season 1. While this essay is not an exploration of the breakdown of themes in season 2, it should be noted that there were some threads that followed throughout the season. The theme of mothers/motherhood was woven throughout season 2, with some elements more effective than others. Please contact the author for additional thoughts on Helena Ortecho and revenge plots.

One of the largest problems within season 2 was the sheer number of plots jammed into the season. These plot threads often ended up hindering the effectiveness of the themes and made the coherence of the season suffer. Additionally, a lot of them were convoluted and difficult to follow.

Thesis:

Essentially, season 2 was a mess. To look at it holistically is almost an exercise in futility. Either you grow angry about the dropped plots and premises, you hand wave them off, or you fill them in for yourself. Instead, this essay proposes to look at individual elements to explain why Forrest should have stayed evil.

We first meet Forrest in 2.04 when he is introduced on the Long Family Farm, which we later learn was the location where our past alien protagonists had their final standoff. He’s introduced. He’s largely just there. The audience learns he has more of a history with Michael. In 2.06, we meet him again with his dog Buffy (note: poor Buffy has not been seen again and we miss a chunky queen). There’s mild flirting, Alex is invited to an open mic night, which he attends. For the purpose of this essay, the author’s thoughts on the poetry will not be expressed. Readers can take a guess.

It is after this point that the author speculates the Decision was made. This choice to make Forrest not evil- paired with the aforementioned ‘can’t kiss, someone’s sick’- impacted the plot. We have Alex have a scene with his father- which the author believes could have been pushed to a different episode- and then have Alex go on a date and then not kiss Forrest at the end of the night. Here, the audience sees Forrest hit Alex in the leg, allegedly not knowing he had lost his leg despite ‘looking him up’, which parallels the shot to the leg that happens to Charlie. Besides wasting this ABSOLUTELY TEXTBOOK SET UP WTF, it also takes Alex away from the main plot and then forces a new plot for him. Up to this point, Alex’s plot was discovering more about the crash and his family’s involvement. Turning Alex’s date from a setup for evil Forrest to a Coming Out story adds yet another plot thread to a packed season. It is also the author’s thought that this is where the convoluted kidnapping plot comes in. With Forrest already in 2.10 for a moment, a plot where Alex is evil has Forrest attack him for Deep Sky rather than Jesse abduct him for a piece of alien glass Alex was going to give him anyway and then for Flint to abduct Alex from Jesse. It’s messy. In a bad way. Evil Forrest would have been a cleaner set up: no taking back a piece of alien glass Alex gave to Michael in a touching moment. No double abduction. Instead, there is only Forrest, who Alex trusts, breaking that trust to take him as leverage over Michael.

Implications:

Now, Alex has two plots (Tripp & Coming Out). The Coming Out plot is largely ineffective, as they are only relevant to scenes with Forrest and have the undercurrent of there only being a certain acceptable way to be out. This could have been used for Alex to discover his comfort levels, mirroring Isobel’s self discovery, but there was not enough screen time for that. Additionally, Isobel’s coming out story was about her allowing herself the freedom to explore. Alex’s story was about the freedom to… act like this dude wanted him to. Alex’s internalized homophobia played out often in the series but it was also informed by the violence he experienced at Jesse’s hands and the literal hate crime he and his high school boyfriend experienced. With that in mind, the “kissing to piss off bigots” line comes off poorly. This is a character who experienced what a pissed off bigot could do- reluctance to kiss in public is not the same as not being out. There is more to be said on this topic, but as it is not actually the focus of the essay, it will be put on hold. To surmise: Alex’s coming out is attempted to be framed as being himself, but it is actually the conformity to someone else’s ideals. It does not work as an antithetical to Isobel’s story, as the framing indicates that the conformity/right was to be out contradicts Isobel’s theme.

Further Research:

MAKE FORREST EVIL YOU COWARDS

Author Acknowledgements:

The author of this paper acknowledges that the show took some strides to mend this problem. However, once again no consensus could be found on whether Forrest was a low-level member of Deep Sky and thus just allowed to fuck off on a bus, or his job was recruitement because he did a piss poor job of making Alex not join.

[skellfamily]

Sans’s and Papyrus’s house

This post goes into detail on some of the weird stuff going on with the skeleton brothers’ house. This is long rambling speculation so I hope it won’t be too hard to follow

Initially, this was going to be a shorter post about a little theory I had regarding how they can afford their house. When talking to Undyne and Papyrus in Snowdin, Undyne questions how Sans is able to pay for their big home

I thought maybe this was just a joke regarding how Sans works a lot of jobs but thinking about it, that doesn’t make much sense. Why would it be a mystery how Sans can afford the house? Unless they’re trying to imply he’s making money in a shady way (is he an assassin or drug dealer or something???) I don’t see why it’d be a mystery. I guess, even with the multiple jobs he has, that income still shouldnt be enough to cover the costs of a nice big home. Sans himself makes a joke about how ‘well paying’ sentry jobs are

So...either Sans does make a lot of money in a secret way that he doesnt want even Papyrus to know about for some reason or...what if he doesnt have to pay rent on the house at all (tbh the idea of monsters having to pay rent in the first place is rather odd to me but thats neither here nor there)

Connecting this to other ideas I’ve had on this subject, I believe their house might be the one Sans and Papyrus lived in in their former home, the dimension/timeline/world they were originally from. The event that brought them into the world of Undertale also carried their entire house with them (a house I would assume was bought and paid for by ‘their’ Gaster but the specifics of that dont matter too much here)

The reason I started on that train of thought is because of this fascinating little room:

The basement contains several items: the photo album with pics of people Frisk doesn’t recognize, a badge, blueprints, and a big broken machine. The room’s music is It’s Raining Somewhere Else, the same track that plays during the hotel date where Sans briefly alludes to having a home he wants to go back to. What I wonder about this room is, how in the world did Sans bring a large machine and a photo album with him to Undertale? Those don’t seem like things you’d just have on hand in the event of being thrown into another dimension. 

But, if the whole house was dragged into Snowdin along with Sans and Papyrus, it would explain the issue quite neatly (I’m thinking either a mishap with that machine is what caused them to be torn from their home dimension, or perhaps UT Gaster’s accident had a rippling effect on alternate Gasters and his presumed family as well?)

It could also explain other aspects of their house. There’s a bunch of weird, sometimes physics-breaking things going on with the place. What if the space-time bending event that landed the skelebros + their house in another world also gave the house those strange properties? For example, if you complete a True Pacifist run then perform a true reset, the picture of Sans with you and your new friends will still be in the photo album - is the basement somehow protected from the effects of a reset that should otherwise erase all traces of the deleted timeline? 

There’s also the shrine to Annoying Dog within the kitchen sink (found in console versions) and Mad Mew Mew’s room in the Switch version. Now, it’s not unusual for a video game building to be much larger on the inside than it appears on the outside but the shrine and MMM’s room take it to pocket dimension territory. Why is there a shrine to Annoying Dog there in the first place? How did Mad Mew Mew even find that room??

Papyrus comments on how Sans’s room is “like another world” and others have noticed his door resembles the door in the Dark World that teleports the party to different locations

Fun fact: the door to Mystery Man’s room is also the same as the doors to the skelebros’ rooms (admittedly, Undyne has that door sprite for her room too...however I doubt it’s a coincidence that MM specifically has the same one the skeletons do, rather than one of the many other door assets that could have been used)

Speaking of these doors, when you enter Papyrus’s room, it plays the audio file mus_doorclose. When you open Mystery Man’s door, it plays the  mus_dooropen sound effect. Taken on its own this isn’t too interesting...however, afaik they’re one of only two instances in the entirety of Undertale of those sound effects being present.

The other time they play is at the very end, when Toriel opens Frisk’s door to give them pie - mus_dooropen plays when she opens the door, then mus_doorclose when she leaves. Maybe I’m overthinking it but it sure seems odd those audio files were specifically chosen for Papyrus’s room and Mystery Man’s room, and almost no where else. Plus it seems they’re supposed to be paired with each other...(note: in Deltarune, those sound fx show up a few more times, also paired together - when opening/closing the dimension door or when Kris enters the classroom; not sure if there are other instances in DR?)

Continuing on the subject of Papyrus, his room has another oddity and similarity to Mystery Man’s: they are always silent. The rooms don’t play music at all, not even Reunited which plays in almost every room (the only other exception is the Dog Room, which has its own theme that isn’t overridden). It’s difficult to speculate on the noticeable silence of Papyrus’s room, as we’re not given much to go off of. I think it could be related to how Papyrus suspiciously never brings up his past. What if he forgot his past, and perhaps ‘forgot’ his room theme?

Going on a tangent here about Papyrus’s music, sorry - it’s also interesting to me how Papyrus borrowed his themes (Nyeh Heh Heh! and Bonetrousle) from Deltarune, where Bonetrousle was originally going to be the battle encounter music - that was Toby’s plan way back when he first tried to make Deltarune, before he started on Undertale. Despite how interconnected Undertale’s soundtrack is, his leitmotifs show up nowhere else except in Bring it in, Guys! His theme and Sans’s themes aren’t referenced within each other’s, which is odd. There is a ‘missing link’ in Sans’s unused fight theme, which incorporates Papyrus’s music, but that obviously isn’t actually in the game proper. Is it possible his themes may be different in Deltarune? Will we finally get to hear his room’s missing music?

One last tidbit regarding their house and music from the Undertale wiki on Reunited: 

This track is slowed down when played in-game (compared to the file version), just like many other Undertale tracks, however, if the protagonist enters Papyrus's room and exits, enters Sans's room and exits, or if they restarted a save file during the epilogue of the True Pacifist Route, the track starts playing again, however at the same speed as the file.

idk if that means anything but I thought it was neat enough to add

As pointed out in this great post, the positioning of Sans’s and Papyrus’s rooms is odd. They shouldn’t fit properly in the house (but if they were flipped, would fit perfectly) and not only that but there’s a conspicuous space between their rooms. A space where Mystery Man’s room would fit nicely. And look at where their doors are oriented in their rooms - Papyrus’s to the very right, Sans’s to the very left, and MM’s smack dab in the middle. Coincidence?? I think...probably not?

If I’m right about the house being taken with the skeleton bros into the Undertale world, then if there was a room in the middle for Gaster, Sans presumably got rid of the door and covered it up with the painting. 

Okay, I think that’s everything I wanted to cover. I hope this all made sense! If anyone has anything to add feel free

[paintedwarpony]

CRITICAL ROLE REWATCH C2E110

(And further ranting and raving and campaign predictions...)

Hey guess what I'm back to talk about today you guys?

Verin Thelyss? Always. But not for this episode.

HOW ABOUT SOME MORE GODDAMN HINTED MULTICLASSED EODWULF.

Yep. You bet.

For those of you just joining this Ted Talk I posed a theory months ago that Eodwulf is NOT infact multiclassed as a paladin for the Raven Queen/Matron of Ravens as most of the fandom has considered. But is something far more dangerous and terrifying.

That Eodwulf is in fact multiassed as a War Domain Cleric.

WHICH IS BAD.

VERY VERY BAD.

At least from a D&D combat campaign point of view. Because essentially it creates an absolute malestrom of a NPC. And it turns the gut to think of the kind of fight it would put the Nein through.

*coughTPKcough*

Because the facts are this. Eodwulf is already a very highly trained, extremely powerful wizard, which is dangerous in and of itself. Add to that fact that he's ALSO a homebrewed Volstrucker and considered one of Ikithon's elites. That means there's going to be all kinds of shit mixed up in that bag of tricks that we haven't seen or yet to speculate.

My basis as to why I think Eodwulf is a cleric of some kind leans heavily on the fact that Matt Mercer himself very often grumbles and complains during campaign about how "unfair" it is that the Nein have two clerics. Yet to date the Nein have not actually gone to combat with a full party that includes a cleric (that may change with the Tomb Takers, who knows) but its certainly not an oversight by any means. I'm positive Matt is saving the use of a cleric enemy for a particularly nasty encounter or series of encounters.

Because lets be real

Clerics will fuck some shit up no matter what their domain is. Between the ridiculously long list of spells they have access to and the ability to pop other members of their team back up clerics are brawlers in the disguise of supports.

NOW HERE'S WHERE IS GETS DANGEROUS CONCERING EODWULF.

Considering Eodwulf is a wizard, and a homebrewed Volstrucker at that theres going to be alot of fire power there but Wizards are notorious glass canons unless handled or multiclassed correctly. Caleb is EXTREMELY powerful mage wise BUT he still follows wizard format to balance him from becoming to powerful. At lvl 13 his AC 15 (jumps to 16 with Mage Armor) and he has 96HP. They're at a point of the campaign where they are coming up against creatures that deal out damage in the 50s, 60s, 70s, or more in one shot. And in turn the Nein themselves are starting to be able to do that kind of damage back.

Which if Eodwulf was just a wizard played by wizard stats, even just slightly homebrewed, wouldn't make him much of a threat.

BUT THROW CLERIC IN THERE AND MAKE IT A WAR DOMAIN CLERIC?

You just turned that glass canon into a GODS DAMNED SHERMAN TANK.

That gives Eodwulf access to martial weapons, heavy armor and a PLEATHORA of other equipment that most wizards could only look longingly through a shop window at before. Not to mention the spell list expansion. His AC jumps. His HP jumps. His attack ability skyrockets as he could both cast spells and make (multiple with certain effects) physical attacks in the same round. His magical longevity bolsters as he can save spell slots until more opportune times to but continue to cause damage with physical strikes.

Not to mention the aspect of keeping the rest of his side of the fight up. Healing up other Volstrucker, Astrid, fucking Ikithon himself to keep them in combat. Hell even using FUCKING REVIVIFY to bring one back if he needs to.

Counterspell? Got it. Cure Wounds? Got it. Guiding Strike? Yep got that, too. Divine Intervention? Sure thing! Fireball? Pssht, for sure.

Considering the hint in C2E110 that Eodwulf favors electricity the same way Caleb favors fire I wouldn't be surprised if he has friggin' Chained Lighting as a go to favorite spell.

BUT I DIGRESS

Some more hints came into focuse during C2E110 to support this theory but the biggest one was said by Eodwulf himself. When questioned about what he did on the front lines Eodwulf admitted:

"I am not much of a front line fighter..."

Its kind of a throwaway line BUT is very much known and considered within D&D that paladins (like Fjord) are considers front line fighter types. But wizards AND CLERICS OF ALL DOMAINS are considered SUPPORT LINE. That they hang back and try to stay out of the thick of danger. Despite the abilities of a cleric to be absolutely savage in combat, as displayed by Jester and Caduceus over the campaign, they're still considered 'support/support line' classes.

It might not be a huge hint but the only time at the table Eodwulf showed any small bit of his own personality was when he bragged just a little about himself and admitted to liking being called a 'living magical weapon', he was also incredibly honest and forthright when he answered questions or spoke about their duty, parents, the torture that he'd been put through at the hands of Ikithon and his faith in the Matron of Ravens was no secret and peppered casually into his conversation. I think that if he was in fact a paladin Edowulf would not hesitate to talk about his pride at serving the Matron of Ravens AND the Empire in direct combat. A wiz-pally combo like that would be formidable but...

A Wiz-War Cleric combo thats a homebrewed Volstrucker and backed by the goddess of death...

Its gonna get real ugly really fast for the Nein if they have to fight him.

I fully believe Eodwulf can be flipped to the Nein's favor but I think to manage that he needs to be separated from Ikithon AND Astrid. During C2E110 he took ALL of his cues from Astrid, looking at her EVERY TIME before starting to speak or reacting to anything. He only acted a little more independent when they were outside the tower. Everything about Eodwulf's demeanor and behavior suggests someone so very lost and used to being bullied or directed one way or another that he doesn't think twice to follow instructions or vomit back up beliefs he was 'taught' but might not be his own. People like that bury their personalities and only find their way to the surface when they're separated from the supervision of their influence. Caleb as expressed multiple times he wants to win both his friends back with a much heavier emphasis on Astrid than Eodwulf. Astrid seems a much more difficult person to turn to their side imo and habors to many secrets and ulterior motives and its worrisome the way she does execute her will over Edowulf. Its clear by some of the interactions at the table that Astrid was very much the 'leader' of the Blumentrio, as she several times tried to cue Caleb with looks to stop or change his behavior and actions. Caleb has been free of Ikithon (and Astrid's) influence for so long now and grown so much in the care of his found family it didn't even cause him to balk but it worries me that if Astrid were introduced into the Nein her influence and manipulations that she does still hold over Eodwulf may start to sink in and control Caleb again as well. The encounter certainly rattled him and left him repeatedly insisting "freeing" her specifically over the course of the campaign since.

But thats a whole different can of worms...

If the Nein turn Astrid to their cause I'm almost positive Eodwulf will follow her. He cued to her FAR more than he did to Ikithon and that speaks volumes.

But I would so much like to see Eodwulf on his own, see his personality and see his own decision to join the Nein's side or not.

But truly... if the answer is 'not'...

Its not going to be good...

[yaz-the-spaz]

But I want to know your theory. :(

ok ok i guess i’ll spill…i was kinda hesitant to share just cause i’m still not all that solid in my belief in it myself but basically it seems like maybe ziam has made it a tradition to have some kind of couples trip most years (if not every year) in february ever since 2014…

(btw for future reference this ask is a continuation of this ask re ziam both being publicly in vegas earlier this year)

ugh sorry guys! hit enter by accident and posted this wayyyy before i was anywhere near finished lol…this will be updated within the hour (if it doesn’t take me too long to get my thoughts out)

narrator: she did not finish it within the hour.

…

ok so part of the reason i’ve been hesitant to share this is because a good portion of it is VERY speculative and just based on a lot of guesswork and assumptions, but also there’s the fact that it feels like this is something major that more people in the fandom (or at least someone, other than little ass me lol) would have noticed before now and it kind of freaks me out that maybe no one else has?? (unless ofc i just haven’t happened to see any other posts there are about it idk)… 

also fyi a lot of what i propose throughout this is heavily based on info from this post just to make sure i remember to site my sources before we get into it lol

alright now onto the actual theory…

SO. all this started with me scrolling through old posts from late 2013/early 2014 and being reminded of the fuckery that was zayn’s bday that year (with the douche canoe crew and everyone pretending like liam was barely there as seemingly some sort of weird over-the-top cover-up)…the same party that seemed kinda like liam’s possible “introduction” to the malik family as more than just zayn’s friend/as his possible significant other. which was also only a month after that suspicious engagement-looking ring first showed up on zayn’s ring finger in december 2013 from bts midnight memories mv footage (and which stayed around as a necklace throughout january 2014 and early febuary 2014 right before the first appearance/debut of the mandala tat in mid feb). 

bts midnight memories mv with the ring in view - dec 2013:

(suspicious?) malik family outing/celebration with the ring in view - dec (or possibly late nov?) 2013:

[putting the rest under the cut cause as per usual with me this got insanely long]

liam and aunt zileh at zayn’s bday party - jan 2014:

liam and one of the little cousins at zayn’s bday party - jan 2014:

then sometime in between late jan and early feb 2014 liam went on a trip to barbados with his whole family (and supposedly also sophia lol more on that later*) while zayn was SUPPOSEDLY still home and steadily “posting” pics of himself at home with various members of his family (with the ring on a necklace clearly visible in the pics lol), anddd as some have also pointed out his hair was suspiciously unchanged in these pics despite his claim of getting a haircut BEFORE most of the pics were posted lol

zayn in family pics with the ring on a necklace - late jan/early feb 2014 (sorry i’m not the one who cropped his fam out lol):

but yet we’re supposed to believe zayn - who had just gotten awarded the asian ambassadorship for the VERY FIRST time - mysteriously (and willingly) MISSED the ceremony on feb. 5th with absolutely no explanation. which…we all know how big a deal that was to him from the way he talked about it and how honored he was when he went in 2015…which begs the question if he was really just home not doing much of anything at the time in 2014 why in the world would he just pass/bail on that HUGE HONOR with no explanation??? mayhaps because he was actually already an ocean away with liam and fam in barbados celebrating his engagement (and getting his own “introduction” to the payne family) and literally COULD NOT ATTEND?

anyway so then, we have him getting the mandala tat around feb 18th 2014 - or at least this is the day he debuted it on his old ig, so the date may be a few days off from when he actually got it - but this still would’ve been shortly after they got back from the barbados trip when he debuted this particular tat (aka another solidification of the engagement??) 

THEN we get the very first ig ziam likes from the famous and beloved aunt zileh (!!!) in this same month (still feb for reference, but she continues steadily and heavily liking stuff all the way through april when she seems to cool down again). fast forward to the 2014 brits at the end of february where we have the infamous moment with 1) ziam giddy as fucking ever, 2) zayn whispering into and practically mawling liam’s neck in public, 3) liam talking about how it was great to “fill each other in” on what they were up to during their break while zayn’s just steady standing there smiling like a loon and then 4) liam still later being like ‘you don’t wanna know’ when asked what he got up to (and zayn still grinning like a fool)

ziam being gross at brits 2014:

so to sum up so far: 1) one of them possibly proposed around nov/dec 2013 (or that’s my best guess anyway based on the evidence lol), 2) then zayn shows up with a suspiciously-engagement-looking ring in dec 2013, 3) then all the weirdness with liam’s attendance at zayn’s bday party a month later (possibly also liam’s formal intro to the malik family), 4) then liam takes his barbados trip with his fam (and supposedly sophia lol*) just a couple weeks later while “zayn” stays home and posts family pics (but is very likely secretly on the trip with liam lol which is also possibly zayn’s formal intro the payne family and a belated celebration of their engagement), 5) and then we get the beginning of aunt zileh’s likes, 6) the debut of zayn’s mandala tat, 7) and the 2014 brits wildness…all in the space of like 3 months. and most of it happening in FEBRUARY. what a wild fucking journey right?

*side note/fun fact: liam and his fam were posting stuff regularly throughout the duration of the barbados vacay but there were literally zero pics of sophia posted from this trip until like dec 2014 or sometime around then when like ONE random pic suddenly surfaced/was posted and lots of ppl had already speculated that sophia was never there in the first place so once this one pic came up that idea got upgraded to people theorizing that they maybe had some of the fam go back a second time later in the year just to stage take photos to retroactively prove/authenticate the narrative that sophia was there lol

but anyway so back to the actual matter at hand - most of that shit happened in february right? specifically the barbados trip (aka the possible engagement celebration trip)…and when i was talking about all this to a friend we realized ZIAMI WAS ALSO IN FEBRUARY. AND SO WAS THIS YEAR’S VEGAS SHIT. AND THEN. AND THEN. My friend did some research and there was apparently this little known/barely talked about article (or at least barely talked about that i’m aware of) about liam taking a TRIP TO THE MALDIVES IN FEBRUARY 2016… which coincidentally (or not lol considering these shady ass hoes) is also around the same time he got his 4 tattoo (I believe this was the first article, or at least one of the first articles, that mentioned the tat’s debut) 

BUT WAIT. 

THE INSANE SHIT DOES NOT END THERE FOLKS.

GUESS WHICH MONTH THE CARTIER BRACELET FIRST DEBUTED?

FUCKING FEBRUARY 2016.

specifically on liam’s wrist in preparation for the 2016 brits (photo posted to his brits stylist’s ig on feb 23rd). and he didn’t take it off till like june.

so. quick timeline:

february 2016 - maldives trip and debut of liam’s 4 tattoo (around feb 21st); debut of cartier bracelet via liam (feb 23rd); (there was also that valentine’s day roses pic liam posted feb 14th of this year which was quite interesting considering he and c hadn’t even been officially announced as a “thing” yet…ofc we know it still got retroactively attributed to her anyway but whatever, we all know who it was really for lol 😏)

february 2017 - i don’t have anything on this year, partly cause i stopped paying as close attention due to heavy ramping up of stunts, although if anyone has more concrete info on this period that hints at anything please do hit me up and i will add it in, but anyway just based on a little light research there does appear to be a good period of inactivity from both of them during this time (as in both of them had quite a bit of time in february where they were pretty inactive on sm, not being papped, and essentially mia and would have potentially had time to go on a private trip) - UPDATE: HOLY SHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THIS BUT THIS IS THE YEAR LIAM SHOWED UP AT THE BRITS WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING 25 ON HIS JACKET AND FUCKED SIMON ALL THE WAY UP BY SWERVING ON HIS UGLY BITCH ASS SPEECH IN FRONT OF GOD AND ENTIRE WORLD (and i think also thanked zayn in his speech if i’m not mixing that up with another year??) - all on feb 23rd to be specific.

february 2018 - ZIAMI OBVIOUSLY (which specifically started feb 22nd, or at least that’s the day i’m counting it as ‘started’ cause it’s the day liam joined zayn in miami, can’t recall the exact day zayn arrived but pretty sure it was only a couple days before that)

february 2019 - zayn starts wearing this distinctive fishhook earring in all his ig pics, which on the surface seems like a pretty small thing, but quite possibly commemorates their famous august 2014 fishing trip (directly after which he also started wearing a fish hook pendant on a necklace back in 2014); this was also another period they were pretty quiet/mia as far as i can recall, although again if anybody has more concrete info from this time that could point to something please let me know, but anyway point being they again would have had a good chunk of time to possibly go on a private trip together

february 2020 - VEGAS BABY

ofc i’m sure you all will notice one year was left out - february 2015 they were on tour with no breaks coming anytime soon so they obviously weren’t able to go on a trip that year. BUT. february 14th 2015 (aka valentine’s day lol) is also the day liam was famously papped with some small shopping bags that looked suspiciously but precisely like the type that usually come from a jewelry store, and then later that same night they had a performance (for otra tour) where we have zayn pictured wearing a new gold bracelet (as in he hadn’t been seen wearing it ever before on tour or anywhere else) - btw the op of this linked post actually marks this day as the debut of the cartier bracelet but there’s a lot of counter speculation that it’s not and given that it doesn’t quite look like the cartier bracelet looked in later pics (it’s more round and more gold than the cartier bracelet which imo looks more angular and more kind of a two-tone/silvery-gold than this vday bracelet) i’m inclined to lean more towards it just being a regular but still very sweet vday-gifted bracelet. but anyway back to more important stuff. now considering this was literally just a little over a month before zayn left - and one of my theories for zayn leaving was that it was possible he felt it was the only way to save his relationship with liam…i mean if they were still giving each other vday presents they were clearly still VERY in love at this point. like that’s not the kind of thing you’d expect from a couple that was on the rocks and on the verge of breaking up and i know a lot of ppl (myself included for a brief minute) speculated that zayn leaving the band meant he maybe left liam too/or things weren’t working out b/t them or whatever, but given this context of the vday gifts just a few weeks before him leaving that doesn’t really line up…what does line up though is him being so in love and so sick of the bs that he might be driven to just be done with it all (as far as the stress of the band and mgmt bs is concerned at least). and ofc liam did say that zayn is the most emotionally impulsive/emotionally driven out of all them so when you think about it it really shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise…

anyway, in conclusion: 

it appears quite possible ziam has made it a couples tradition (ever since that first honeymoonish vacay in 2014) to go on some sort of trip/getaway together around the end of every february (or at least do something special together/for each other when they can’t) and in further conclusion I AM NOT OKAY AND WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS REALIZATION OKAY THANKS BYE 😭😭😭😭😭🌈🌈🌈 

[unholyplumpprincess]

Winner Winner Porkchop Dinner

Cryptage commission for @trashyoctopus !

Summary: Crypto and Mirage are set up on a blind date, with neither knowing that it was each other. Rivalry COULD have gotten in the way, if Elliott wasn’t too fucking pretty for his own good.

(Older content)

Reblogs > Likes. It costs zero dollars to reblog the fics you like :D Minors and ageless blogs DNI or you will be blocked!

Relationship: Crypto/Mirage

Fandom: Apex legends

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, both Crypto and Mirage are cis, anal sex/fingering, Crypto being a bottom baby, tears, overstimulation, fucking on the floor

Words: 3.2K

_______________

Dating for legends was rather difficult. In a world that saw you as stars, people could become rather obsessive. Crypto was no stranger to the ‘starstruck’ vision upon seeing a legend. He had been one of the people who had set up the drones to broadcast them all fighting, after all. It was no different to him to pick and choose favorites.

Except now he WAS a legend. Walked among them the same way they walked with him. Partners or rivals, it didn’t matter.

Dating, again, for legends was rather difficult- and yet, Elliott Witt, better known as ‘Mirage’, famous trickster of the arena. Well, he got along just fine.

Or so he had made it seem.

~Rest under the cut~

Elliott talked a big game. Had a big mouth, for that matter. Talked about both men and women he could charm, even those who fit neither category. Last, of which, he boasted whilst making finger gun motions at Bloodhound who had waved him off with a ‘shoo’ motion as if he was a horny dog.

Something Crypto thought to be rather amusing when the flirty legend had pouted in response.

Being among them all, he’s learned they’re all much like a family. Romance could blossom between specific people within their circle, he’d seen it himself with Wraith eyeing Anita from across a room. Only to look away the second the woman’s eyes looked back at him and he’d pretended he’d never seen her looking.

Because loving while being part of this bloodied sport wasn’t an option. To stay available and don’t let feelings get in the way of how brutally they could kill each other. Only to wake up again like it never happened, except now you hold a grudge in your heart for the pain one caused you.

All for sport- entertainment.

Yet, the sponsors seemed to go crazy if they could see one of the legends being soft. The media loved it too. When someone like Wraith had seen her teammate, Bangalore, get knocked- normally she wouldn’t have thought twice about gunning down those around her and going back for the beacon. However, you could see her hesitate, flick her head back and run for her downed squad mate with an open portal to safety.

This is when Crypto truly began to get interested. Media where he was from- if someone was that popular, they would have been KILLED for daring to date someone. It wouldn’t have made them ‘available’ for minds all around. But, it seemed media across all planets alike delighted in the idea of love blossoming in war.

He’d watched it himself online. Different articles popping online. How Wraith would huff and throw a magazine across the legends’ lounge room or toss it at Elliott who’d playfully tease her about it.

It affected legends as well.

And when he’d picked up the magazine and looked at the headline, with a still of Wraith and Anita making eye contact whilst picking one another up, with the words ‘LOVE IN KINGS CANYON?’?

Well. Maybe he wouldn’t mind it if something like this affected him either.

It’s why he agrees to this stupid blind date thing. A mutual of his, someone he didn’t quite trust but she was at least a nice enough person, had a brilliant idea of a blind date. Said she knew someone who was JUST his type. There was no need for awkward ‘do you like girls or boys?’ conversations to happen, thankfully he knew it was at least a man he was meeting.

Crypto could only feel anxiety when he woke up that morning. Twisting in his stomach about who they could be. What did they look like? Would they mind if he was a quiet person? Would they worry and fret too much over him not talking the whole time? Would they be funny? Would they have curly hair- long hair- were they kind?

So many questions.  

The unknown made him paranoid.

The woman leads him to a nice café. Crypto, for the date, adorned an oversized black hoodie that’s left unzipped, a lower black face mask with a filter on it, a low cut white shirt and ripped black skinny jeans. He felt more punk than anything, but it was casual for a setting like this. Except, perhaps, all of the jewelry he wore around his neck.

She guides him to the back to sit down, a nice little area while she excitedly chirps that she’ll be right back with his date.

Crypto’s on edge the entire three minutes and twenty two seconds she is gone. Fussing with a little fidget toy in his pocket to keep a hand busy and keeping his other resting on the table in case he needed to jab at someone.

Prepared, not paranoid.

The chatter of the café is quiet. The music is soft, and yet his shoulders are taut.

But then he sees her walking back over, someone behind her, taller, curly hair-

“Oh! Hey, buddy!” Comes from the man as he comes padding over excitedly like a dog, sitting in front of Crypto with a big, dimpled smile on his face.

Elliott Witt.

No fucking way.

Crypto’s eyes widen, and he looks up at their mutual friend who passes him a wink and a, “Have fun, boys!” Before she’s off.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Elliott continues with a bit of a laugh exhaling from him. Fiddling with his hands uncharacteristically in his lap. Nervous, it appeared, as Crypto’s eyes smooth over his frame. “S-so ya’ like coffee? No- no it was tea, right? I can order for us! Er, Wraith was saying sometimes you come out at night and make tea?” Definitely nervous.

He cleaned up well enough without wearing his sponsors or his gear for that matter. A v neckline on a black t-shirt that was form hugging, a yellow and black printed flannel with the sleeves rolled up just above his elbows to show strong, hairy forearms. Form fitting black jeans hugged him just as well and his hair was styled to the side. Curls looking washed and fresh with their fluffy texture.

He cleaned up extremely well.

Elliott is fussing again, nervously displaying his hands out on the table as he fusses with his hands. Crypto can’t help but think it’s kind of...endearing.

They’d been rivals on the battlefield ever since their first match together. Mark on the scoreboard, he supposed that may have been his fault for counting and rubbing it in Elliott’s face. But...

“Tea would be nice.” He finally speaks up, cutting Elliott off as he pulls his mask down to rest around his neck so he could prepare.

He watches Elliott’s eyes light up like an excited dog’s, nodding his head quickly as his curls move with the motions. “Yeah! Y-yeah, yeah of course, gimme a sec. Preference?”

And that’s how they spent that afternoon. Not as legends, or as rivals. But as two people set up on a blind date and enjoying one another’s company. Even laughed when Elliott had sputtered and quietly shout-whispered the question of ‘YOU HAVE A TONGUE PIERCING?!’ when Crypto had stuck his tongue out.

Crypto hated to admit it. But he had a great time.

And then an even better time the time after that, and then the next. Aaaand another.

Until the new headlines were now saying ‘LOVE BLOSSOMING IN NEW “MELTDOWN” ARENA?’ with their faces on it.

--

Their relationship was under wraps. No one knew, no one was allowed to know in full, but the media could speculate. That much Elliott allowed. Little teases to the public whilst Crypto preferred not to do interviews.

Their relationship blossoms from there. They become close- turns out they both had missing family members. Crypto opens up about his sister, Mila. While Elliott opens up about his brothers. He speculates they may have passed in war, but that he holds out hope. While Crypto opens up that he worries that she was killed, and that if she wasn’t, that she was not in agony.

There, they build their foundation on. Trust and love. Opening up to each other slowly. Elliott is much easier to open up about himself and his interests, Crypto is harder. He doesn’t talk anymore on his past from his sister or his mother, only bits and pieces. He allows Elliott into his life slowly, more and more until one another cannot stand to sleep alone.

Wraith teases Elliott nowadays on who is making goo-goo eyes now. Crypto over hears it through the walls and tries not to smile at their antics.

It’s in the ring they have to be more mindful. After the first guess of their relationship, Crypto had to explain to Elliott that though his partner may have loved the cameras, Crypto did not. The attention became too much, and Elliott immediately made that all die down. With his charming smile and a joke about how if he had chosen someone to settle down with, don’t you think he’d be all over them?

Oh, he was all over them. Crypto couldn’t go a day without hands jerking him close. Even if at first he had rolled his eyes and huffed at it, Elliott quickly found out that this tough cookie was just giving him a rough time. Especially when Crypto would give up the ruse and lean back into him.

No, it’s in the ring they have to be careful. Otherwise, anywhere else? Free game. Other legends could shut their lips.

Hence why this match was going rather roughly.

Mirage, Crypto, and Lifeline all on the same squad. Ajay makes a joke about ‘old times’ and how they should keep score again. Playfully bumping Crypto’s hip with her own and earning her a bit of a smirk before it’s turned to Elliott with a cocky look and a soft hum of, “I am sure that the old man has learned his lesson.”

Which earns him wide eyes, a gaped mouth, and, “Hey! Not that again!” Before Ajay is shoving them both off the dropship for round two.

The teasing in the ring could be seen as rivalry. They do count the kills, oh they do. Crypto keeps the lead by one point as Ajay keeps score. They bicker and huff the entire time, especially when Ajay takes down a newbie that was hanging in the back and trying to get a drop on them.

At some point they are under squad fire, a grenade heading their way and rolling on the ground. Ajay calls it out from afar, Crypto is the one who spots it.

His fingers twist in Elliott’s coat, yanking him close to his body and throwing their bodies to the side so it only can get a fraction of their shields.

The tension in the corner of the room with Crypto on top of him, both panting and looking into each other’s eyes. So close and so good-

Is their ultimate down fall when they’re shot in the back.

Ajay at least laughs about it in the med bay, saying that, “Ya looked like a proper married couple. Keep ya heads down, ya hear me?” With a tease.

And then a call back, “Oh! Crypto? Two points in the lead.”

--

There’s a gasp as Crypto’s back hits the door of Elliott’s dorm. Inside his room as Elliott fits a leg between his thighs, grabbing his chin and tilting it down ever so slighty so he could devour his mouth. They were about equal heights, with Crypto maybe being an inch taller. Something he took a bit of amusement in.  

But right now, that’s not on his mind. What is, is the pressure on his cock through his pants. How Elliott’s tongue licks into his mouth. Feeling over the piercing on Crypto’s tongue and groaning in reply when Crypto’s hands fists into his jacket and yank him closer.

Their mouths move in sync. Having kissed each other a hundred times over, they know their pace. Crypto presses, sinking his teeth into Elliott’s full lower lip just to hear him let out a shaky breath through his nose in response. His hands come up, fisting Elliott’s curls and tugging him closer with a growl.

The knee between Crypto’s thighs presses up, grinding until he’s pulling back with a whine, head thunking back against the door. This leaves him open for Elliott’s mouth to kiss at his exposed neck, mindful of where the cybernetics were most exposed and aiming for the sensitive wiring. His teeth lightly bite into the flesh feeling silicone, feeling Crypto yelp in reply with pleasure as his leg hitches around Elliott’s waist.

He’s biting his lip, keeping quiet and stubbornly trying to yank on Elliott’s hair. That won’t do.

“Think you can embarrass me like that in the ring, baby?” Elliott’s voice is steady in situations like this. His stutter maintained if he tried not to think about it too hard. His breath hot on the shell of Crypto’s ear as his tongue follows, just to feel him shudder against him.

He’s melting. He couldn’t stand being a brat for too long.

“T-think you just- ah- can't keep up.” Is Crypto’s haughty reply, followed by a huff when Elliott’s hand moves from caressing his cheek to his hair. Yanking on it to pull his head to the side to expose the other said of Crypto’s neck for another onslaught of kisses and hot bites. Pushing at his jacket with his other hand until it falls to the floor and Elliott can bite at the crook of his shoulder instead. Sucking a dark bruise there.

“Really?” Elliott breathily laughs. Tripping up Crypto behind his knee before pulling him by his hair to the floor. Watching him hit his knees almost too easy and looking up at Elliott with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. “Because from what I saw, you just about bent over for me in front of a camera.”

A sniper position, one so open that Crypto wouldn’t normally take. Lying prone to get a good shot- that's what he’d told Ajay. But he knew exactly what he was doing when he shifted his hips eeever so slightly for the trickster behind him.

He huffs through his nose, embarrassed at being caught, looking to the side. But, Elliott coos under his breath, catching his chin and dragging his gaze back up. “No, no, none of that. C’mon, kitten, you can make it up to me, can’t you?”

The nickname has Crypto’s cheeks flushing red to his ears. Surely spreading down over his chest as Elliott works on his own pants. Pulling out his cock, the head shiny with pre-cum when he smooths his hand over it a few times. Pumping to show how hard he was, pulling back foreskin and making Crypto’s mouth water.

He huffs again through his nose, followed by a whine. He about chokes when Elliott smirks, “Theeere’s my good boy. See? Can’t be mad at me for long.”

No, no, he couldn’t. Especially with his mouth stuffed full of cock and his fingers desperately pawing at Elliott’s hips not a few minutes later. Cryptos own clothing removed and his own cock aching as Elliott cradles his jaw, fingertips pressing lightly to feel the bulge in it every time he slides into his throat. Another appreciation for his piercing met every time he swipes it over the swollen head.

Crypto’s sure he’s drooling. Even by the time Elliott pulls out and is calling him a good boy. Even with the bed in the next room, Elliott can’t seem to wait. Lying Crypto down on the living room floor on his belly as he finds lube left behind on the coffee table from their LAST root around. Squirting a generous amount onto his fingers and working one into Crypto. Caressing his hip with his other hand and petting, telling him he’s a good boy, good baby.

Crypto hums in reply, cheek resting on his crossed arms under his head like a pillow. Cock jumping under his body, trapped and caged. By the time two fingers are in him, he’s sure he’s going to leave a stain on Elliott’s rug. Rocking his hips both into the rug for friction and back onto his fingers.

“Yeah, just like that. Keep it up, sweetheart.” Elliott is full of praise when he slips in a third finger. Making Crypto bite into his arm and shudder with each twist of fingers, scissoring them outwards and crooking them upwards.

A spurt of pre-cum leaves his cock and he can’t help the sob as his hips jump a bit as if stomping his foot. “Fuck me! Just- just fuck me, Elliott, I can’t take this!” Crypto hisses out, earning him a laugh from his boyfriend and an ‘alright, alright’.

He’s rolled onto his back. From there it’s a blur. The slow enter of Elliott leads to his legs around the trickster’s hips, arms around his neck and burying his face into his shoulder. No clothing between them, naked chest to naked chest, heartbeat to heartbeat.

Crypto’s cock is jostled with each thrust. Grinding up against Elliott’s slightly fuzzy abdomen and providing enough friction to keep him very much interested. Even if Elliott is hitting just right to where pleasure bubbles in his abdomen like butterflies.  

His teeth sink into Elliott’s shoulder just as Elliott begins fucking him harder. Whining into Crypto’s ear in response when the other tightens his hold around his waist. Biting at the shell of his ear, nuzzling at his hair, murmuring praise just below his ear where his lips brush and his stubble scratches pleasantly.

Crypto cums suddenly and without the warning of budding heat. It happens with a shock and his nails rake down Elliott’s back with a cry. “I love you- I love you I love you--” Escapes his lips in soft sobs as his hips buck upwards into Elliott’s abdomen. Smearing the cum there, which will make for a mess to clean up later.

Instead, Elliott only groans at the sudden tightness and whines back, “Fuck, I love you-” As his hips piston into his boyfriend beneath him.

It’s all too much. Crypto’s eyes are welling with tears from overstimulation. His legs tighten even further, giving Elliott not a lot of room to work with except grind. And even then it’s all too much.

He sobs as a dry orgasm wracks his frame, just in time to hear Elliott deliciously moan in his ear like a whore as he cums. Pressing a hard kiss to Crypto’s temple as they hold each other through it all on the floor.

With a satisfied sigh and tension leaving both their frames, Elliott carefully peels back to assess the damage. Looking down at Crypto splayed out, legs still locked around his hips but looser, his hands resting by his head and his head turned to the side. Face flushed, eyes teary, lips wet and swollen.

He looked beautiful.

Elliott says so too, with a soft sigh of, “Absolutely gorgeous.” As he cups Crypto’s chest with one hand. Running his thumb over a nipple just to watch him jerk and moan softly, smacking at his hand with a grumble.

He may have lost in the ring, but in the bedroom, Elliott ‘Mirage’ Witt always won.

Always.

[maeve-of-winter]

I stopped reading omgcp a while ago, but Kent was always my favorite. Can you tell me what the update about him was? I don't want to slog through the rest of it to find it.

Sorry it took so long to respond to this anon, but I really appreciate the ask. I’m going to give a summary of what actually happens in canon in Kent’s ending, and then a short breakdown of why I dislike it.

This turned into a lengthy post and a collection of what I’m sure is only a fraction of the retcons surrounding Kent’s character, so I apologize for that.

If there’s one takeaway to understand from this ending, it’s that this ending really isn’t about Kent or for Kent’s fans, and I’ll explain below.

The canon ending:

—Bitty is taking out the trash at the Haus one night after a kegster when Kent unexpectedly pops up, dressed like every one-off drug addict character ever seen on any crime drama ever. He says he didn’t know how to contact Bitty (I guess Bitty’s Twitter and Facebook must still be on lockdown at this point? Can anyone confirm?), hence why he appears out of the blue. He says he wants to talk.

Note: Kent mentions here that he’s been getting kegster invites from Ransom for years now. It’s unclear why he didn’t try to contact Ransom to get Bitty’s contact info, but that’s really just a nitpick.

—Kent says he wants to wish Bitty good luck in the playoffs (which I guess he’s been following?) and to wish him good luck with Jack. Bitty responds by inviting him in for pie.

—Kent proceeds to try Bitty’s pie and gush about it at length, like every character in the comic has at this point. Actual quote: “Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. This is. Wow. Jesus. Thank you.”

—Kent mentions again he really does want to wish Bitty good luck, and then mentions Jack and wanting to tell him something.

—Bitty asks if Kent would apologize to Jack. Kent seems surprised and says no, but then he says maybe. He brings up the last time they talked, and specifically points out the last time he and Jack spoke and comments, “Not like I said anything terrible.”

—Bitty informs Kent that he was there and confronts Kent about how he treated Jack. At this point, there’s yet another retcon, this time more subtle, about what Kent said.

4.19 version:

Parse Part III (2.09) version:

Note: No mention is made in 4.19 about anything the could be interpreted positively or sympathetically about Kent’s conversation with Jack, including his offer to Jack about freeing up cap space on the Aces so that Jack can be a part of the team [basically that means trading away current Aces players to make room for Jack’s salary], telling Jack repeatedly that he misses him, expressing frustration that Jack shut him out, or telling Jack that he and others still care about him even if Jack thinks of himself as worthless. More on that last part here.

—Kent looks defeated and responds that there was no excuse for what he said, and follows up by saying he’s sorry that Bitty had to hear what he said and also expresses that he’s sorry for saying it at all.

—In the next part, Kent explains his thoughts. Actual quote: “When Jack left hockey, it sucked. And...yeah, he shut me out of his life. But he was taking care of himself. The shit I was doing at eighteen, as a rookie, in the league...wasn't good for him. And if he thinks he owes me an apology for that, he doesn't. I made it about me. But at this point, trying to say all that to him, yeah, that'd still be more for me than for him, you know? He's way, way past...Zimms has done so much for himself...It might sound weird, but I'm proud of Zimms. Even though I was shit to him. I'm proud he's moved on in a big way. He's a great player and Jesus....I'm twenty-six and our shit was forever ago."

Note: Kent unequivocally stating that Jack doesn’t owe him any apologies is a direct narrative retcon of this panel from 2.10.

Second note: Many fans speculated Jack completely cut off all contact with Kent after his overdose when Kent went ahead into the NHL as Jack took time to recover. Kent’s statement in 4.19 is explicit canon confirmation.

—Bitty responds that they were both kids at the time. Kent dismisses that notion in regard to himself. Actual quote: “"Yeah, but Jack grew up. And seeing you guys together? That center ice kiss? Holding the cup? Listen, when I said I came here to tell you good luck, I meant it. That's why I came here, because the more things work out for you, being out and stuff...you know? The more things could work out for everyone else. You guys are doing good stuff. So thank you for that."  

—Kent follows this up by effusively complimenting Bitty’s pie again and telling him he should open a bakery.

—Kent goes to leave and finds Scraps (the one other named Aces player besides Carl) hanging out with Ford and Tango. Scraps was helping them both clean up. It’s unclear if Kent is actually out to Scraps at this point.

—Kent thanks Bitty for the pie again, wishes him luck, and then leaves.

—Also, as an extra, Ngozi responded to an ask about “What’s Kent been up to?” with another drawing of Kent with Bitty’s pie and paying thousands of dollars for it because he loves it so much.

Link here.

My thoughts:

     1. It’s been said before, but this scene taking place between Kent and Bitty is utterly bizarre. These two characters have no history together to make this conversation compelling or meaningful. They’ve never even spoken a word to each other on page before. Additionally, Kent is a closeted NHL player whose career could be destroyed with this information, and so he’s used to keeping his emotions in check. His decision to have this conversation with a stranger at all severely stretches the willing suspension of disbelief and makes it clear that this conversation isn’t occurring because it’s a natural decision for the characters, but for narrative convenience. 

And when you factor in the part about Kent being Jack’s ex-boyfriend who was seemingly in love with him for years after their relationship ended painfully for them both, and that he’s having this heart-to-heart with Jack’s new boyfriend, it shatters the willing suspension of disbelief into a million tiny pieces. Why would Kent want to talk about his baggage with Jack to Jack’s new BF who he’s never spoken to before? There’s no real reason for it. It only happens because Ngozi wanted to have Kent apologize to Bitty regardless of how weird or illogical the scenario for them to talk. And so that’s what happens, even if it’s utterly absurd.

     2. This ending really goes out of its way to paint Kent in a negative light as possible while still having Bitty be the righteous but charitable arbitrator of what’s Good and Decent behavior.

Notice that Bitty offers up an excuse for Kent’s behavior: “Y’all were kids.”

But the narrative makes it clear that the audience is not meant to excuse Kent’s behavior, as Kent then rejects that excuse and shoulders responsibility: “Yeah, but Jack grew up.” (Implying here that Kent did not.) “And seeing you guys together? That center ice kiss, holding the Cup? . . . Listen, when I said I came here to tell you good luck, I meant it. Because the more things work out for you, being out and stuff . . . you know? The more things could work out for everyone else. So thank you for that.”

And I know that as an audience, we’re meant to nod our heads in agreement with Kent and be like, “Yes, what he said was beyond the pale, good for him for admitting it, and good for him for admitting that it was perfectly fine for Jack to spend years refusing all contact with him.” But I’m definitely not nodding in agreement, and the narrative’s refusal to allow this justification really bothers me, because Bitty is right: they were kids. Jack and Kent were kids of the same age and in almost identical situations. So why is it that Jack gets a free pass for his bad decisions while Kent doesn’t?

The answer is, of course, to pacify the section of fandom that really, really wanted to see Kent come crawling back and beg for forgiveness or “get called out”, but that really isn’t any kind of satisfying answer within the story itself.

Simply put, everything about the situation and the dialogue goes to great lengths to paint Kent as the one in the wrong who’s now doing the right thing at long last by shouldering responsibility, all while simultaneously playing down any culpability Jack might hold for the tensions between the two of them.  It is the “Kent Was Wrong” show, and it’s being aired because a certain portion of the fanbase thinks that Kent is villain who needs to repent for all of all of the terrible crimes against Jack and Bitty that he has committed, while Jack is an innocent smol bean who has never done anything wrong in his life.

From 1.05.

However, I will point out that while the 4.19 accomplishes that specific goal, it also fails in the area of character development. Because the narrative works so hard to make it known that Jack is completely blameless, Kent, a minor character whose appearance here in 4.19 marks only the fourth time he appears in canon proper, ultimately winds up growing more as a person than Jack. As much as I dislike his ending, Kent is someone who can admit when he’s done wrong and apologize for it. Jack, to date, has never apologized for how he treated Bitty during the latter’s freshman years. At the end of the day, Kent’s refusal to accept any excuses for his behavior, even the ones that are reasonable and justified, paints him as a more mature individual than Jack.

     3. It’s impossible to ignore the equivalency of Jack and Bitty publicly kissing and coming out with “growing up” and implying that Kent’s decision to remain closeted is therefore immature. This bugs me for several reasons, which I’ll explain below.

The NHL is a highly homophobic environment, as is juniors hockey, where Kent and Jack met and became romantically involved. There’s recently been a lot of discussion on these points from former NHL players Akim Aliu and Dan Carcillo. Conformity is perceived as commitment to the team, and being different or even showing off too much is frowned upon and criticized. RL NHL players like Alex Ovechkin have been criticized for celebrating too much after scoring a goal, and just to show you how extreme it can get, player PK Subban faced ongoing tensions within his then-team the Canadiens because he opted to start his own personal charity for the Montreal Children’s Hospital rather than use the team’s established program. The incident is actually speculated to be a factor in the reasons for his trade to Nashville. That’s right; conformity is so valued that players are criticized for giving to charity the wrong way.  

So, yes, Kent’s growth is very likely to be stunted because he’s coping in such a highly pressurized homophobic environment, dealing with at least one homophobic teammate. Yes, he has chosen his environment insofar as joining and continuing with the NHL, but he didn’t specifically chose its homophobic and toxic culture. And it’s worth mentioning that he’s being contrasted with Jack, a character who took several years off from hockey following a drug overdose, attended an LGBTQ-friendly liberal arts school for four years where he could find himself and grow comfortable with his sexuality and build a strong support network, and then landed on an NHL team where every member was miraculously accepting and not homophobic.

Of course Kent is going to look immature in comparison to Jack if you compare them that way. Kent has been locked into a culture of toxic masculinity and homophobia since he was a teenager and forced to be closeted so he could have a career. And why should he have thought differently? He was being exposed to homophobia on his team, which would have cemented his fears of not belonging in hockey or having a place on his team if he came out as gay.

Meanwhile, with every Falc unfailingly supportive of Jack and Bitty, Jack really had nothing to fear. Honestly, from the way the story develops, it seems as though Bitty’s life was made more difficult by their post-Cup kiss, rather than Jack, who is the celebrity athlete, and, according to canon, the first gay athlete in the history of pro sports.

So while Kent (and canon) might continually praise Jack for growing up and coming out, Jack had far more time to become comfortable with himself and the idea of being openly gay, given that he’s had Samwell as a safe haven for years and multiple close friends he trusts. Kent hasn’t had either of those things. Of course he’s not ready to come out like Jack and Bitty—after all, he’s not out, and he ends up having to listen to Carl’s mockery of queer individuals. And yet, canon would have us think that this decision means he’s not “grown up” like Jack is. So Kent essentially ends up being implied to be immature for . . . being afraid of the homophobia that he already experiences.

From 3.16.

Also, I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: it’s never sat quite right with me that Jack and Bitty both gets teams that are unfailingly supportive of their sexualities and relationship, while Kent isn’t even out as gay but is stuck dealing with open homphobia from a teammate and has no known support system. Almost as if canon is okay with protecting its main gay couple from homophobia while pushing the struggle against homophobia onto a gay minor character, all while proceeding to put the main couple on a pedestal for “growing up”. I don’t care if Ngozi told us not to worry about it; it really annoys me that no one on the Falcs or SMH is homophobic, but at least one person on the Aces is, and we’re supposed to be okay with it. After all, Ngozi herself told us: “Okay, first of all, ignore Carl”, as if homophobia is something that queer people can totally dismiss and forget about.

Link here.

So, as far as the OMGCP narrative is concerned, homophobia is meant to be something that’s should be easily shrugged off and ignored, and being afraid of it and unwilling to deal with it means that you’re immature and not ready to “grow up” in the way that openly gay individuals have already chosen to. 

     4. The implication that Kent was wrong to be bitter or upset about Jack cutting him off.

This is a fairly simple one, and one where the characterization does an exceptional job at refusing to admit normal behavior. It is perfectly fine for Kent to be upset and hurt that Jack ghosted him. Canon has him accepting all of the blame and saying that he was wrong to not want to let Jack go, but let’s examine the scenario. 

You’re dating a guy for several months and then he abruptly overdoses in a deliberate suicide attempt right before the jump-start to both your futures. You’re forced to abruptly move away to begin your new life without any real closure from the incident, so you’re left hurt and traumatized and wondering if you could have done anything to stop him. You try to reach out to him so you can heal, only for every attempt to be rejected. This behavior and your attempts continue for years. Now, even if you decide to move on, are you going to think fondly of this guy going forward? Or are you going to be hurt and confused and questioning your entire relationship and what you could have done differently whenever you think back about him?

Jack did not overdose in a vacuum. This is not an incident that had zero effect on Kent. And yet, canon seems to want us to think that this highly emotional and traumatic event should have washed right over Kent and that he chose to bear a grudge against Jack due to, like, petty vindictiveness or something. When the real issue is that Jack deliberately refused to give Kent any closure over the incident. And if that’s the case, if Jack is just refusing to speak to Kent over and over, why shouldn’t Kent feel bitterness towards him? Maybe Kent honestly wants to give Jack up and get over him, but needs this resolution to move on, and can’t get anywhere without it. Maybe he’s still hurting from watching Jack almost die. Whatever the reason, Kent being upset with Jack is only human.

     5. Finally, the complete lack of acknowledgement from Bitty or Kent regarding Kent’s individual accomplishments. It’s less obvious than the rest of what’s on page, but I find that this omission speaks the most strongly out of everything that this ending is written by someone who doesn’t really like Kent, specifically for people who don’t like Kent.

Kent was introduced with a multitude of accomplishments. Thirty-one game point streak, one of the best players in the sport, a recent hat trick (three goals) during a game, which earns him congratulations from Holster for it. And he’s not arrogant about his accomplishments—Shitty refers to him as a “modest bro”. Additionally, even though Kent is only at the Haus to see Jack, he still takes the time to take pictures with various Samwell hockey team members.

From 2.08

From Notes on 2.08.

But glaringly, none of these positive qualities are found here. Instead, all Kent does is compliment Jack on growing up, compliment Bitty on his pie, wish them both luck, and apologize to Bitty (for his treatment of Jack). There’s no mention of what’s going on in Kent’s life, no compliments about his hockey or mentions of any recent milestones he’s reached. There’s no exchange of praise between him and Bitty, even though there easily could. Just as an example, one of the many lines where Kent is gushing over Bitty’s pie could have easily led to a response from Bitty congratulating Kent for reaching the five hundredth goal of his career or something similar. 

Or Bitty could have wished him luck at his next game—maybe the Aces are up against their division rivals, maybe they’re up against the top team of another conference. But there’s no mention of anything that has to do with Kent’s present or future, and that’s because this ending really isn’t about Kent or for Kent’s fans. It’s written for Jack/Bitty fans who think Kent is mean or abusive and really wanted this scene of Kent groveling to Jack and/or Bitty. Why else would Jack be absolved of all responsibility for treating Kent badly for years while Kent is left shouldering the blame?

Kent might appear in this chapter, but what we get isn’t actually Kent. This appearance is Kent being used as a device to state information to the audience instead of using interesting and emotional storytelling. We are being told via Kent yet again how Jack is a flawless cinnamon roll, that Jack is oh-so-noble, that Jack and Bitty are brave, that Jack and Bitty are special, and that Bitty’s pies are unnaturally wonderful. And that’s nothing we haven’t seen before.

We ostensibly got an ending for Kent Parson in this chapter. It was just an ending written with a certain audience in mind, and that audience wasn’t people who actually like the character or wanted better for him.

[anotherkindofmindpod]

this isn’t related to a specific episode but I’m confused about the beginning of John & Yoko’s relationship. I’ve heard so many different things about when/how it started- from she was stalking him to meeting at a gallery to Paul’s manuscripts (or pictures of Paul’s butt?!) to they were sleeping together two weeks after meeting- also varying dates on the 2 Virgins night (before or after NYC?) And was he really pining after her in India? Did he try to bring her? I trust you guys- what’s the deal?

Hello listener, thanks for the ask!

Regarding John & Yoko’s origins:  some stories are inconsistent, and some things are unknowable (i.e. internal emotions), but we’ll do our best to lay out what we do know.

Yoko approached Paul first, through a contact (probably Dunbar) related to Indica Bookshop and Gallery.  Since Paul was a patron, supporter and friend of Indica and was somewhat known within the art community as a rich celebrity with a growing interest in the avant-garde (music, films and art) he was an obvious choice for an artist seeking funding/exposure.  Yoko was an avant-garde artist (performance, gallery and film) whose biggest claim to fame at that point was working with John Cage.  This was the credential/name drop with which she approached Paul at his house in Cavendish sometime in late 1965.  Paul (being Paul) invited her inside to make her pitch: she was collecting manuscripts from various composers as a birthday gift to Cage.  Paul declined.  (For the record, Paul has never suggested or intimated that Yoko came onto him at that first meeting, so let’s assume she didn’t and this was strictly business)  The following year, in November of 1966, Indica hosted an exhibition of Yoko’s work.  This is where John Lennon first met Yoko, when he was introduced to her by Indica co-owner John Dunbar.

This was Yoko’s initiation into the Beatles’ world and it should ALWAYS be told like this, FULL STOP, END OF STORY.  Anyone in 2020 who tells the story any other way is a bald-faced liar and a coward.

Does this sound like an overreaction?  Is Paul’s part in this story really SUCH a big deal?  Let’s reverse things and imagine….

In 1965, John Lennon develops a keen interest in photography.  He immerses himself in the photography world, creates a dark room in his house and brings his photo influences into the Beatles’ artwork. John also finances and helps launch a photography gallery in Weybridge. 

One day, photographer Linda Eastman shows up at Kenwood to show John her portfolio and ask for one of John’s original photographs.  John declines.  Paul later meets Linda at her exhibition at Weybridge Gallery. 18 months  later, Paul starts dating her, calls her his new partner, declares her the greatest influence in his life, and brings her to every Beatles session.  Paul and Linda have a joint photography exhibit at the Weybridge Gallery in 1968, hosted by one of John’s closest friends and mentors.  

Paul then loudly and repeatedly proclaims that he was the only Beatle ever interested in photography, he’s responsible for all the visual art in the Beatles oeuvre and implies that John couldn’t stimulate him anymore because he was too square and conservative to understand or appreciate photography.  

Be honest and try to imagine that.  No one would EVER let Paul and Linda get away with that level of bullshit, but for some reason, Jean Jackets are slavishly obedient to whatever John and Yoko say, regardless of facts.  

So anyway, back to those facts...

After the meeting in November 1966, Yoko began to pursue John Lennon at his home, the studio and even Brian’s office.  She constantly asked for funding and money, but was probably seeking publicity as well.  There are rumors that she was also pursuing John sexually, but to our best knowledge they are unsubstantiated.  In 1967, Yoko was REALLY trying hard to get her career off the ground and/or get famous; there are numerous accounts from multiple people in the Beatles circle (Hunter Davies, Michael Lindsay Hogg, Robert Fraser, Barry Miles) that Yoko was hustling nonstop at that time.  So while Lennon was her main target, our impression is that she was probably just trying to make inroads with anyone who could help her become famous.  Accounts consistently suggest that John intermittently found her intriguing (when he didn’t find her scary or annoying), so I imagine she kept soliciting him because that’s where she made the most progress.  Anyway, her stalking is a matter of fact, corroborated by EVERYONE.  Also corroborated by everyone is the fact that John began to sometimes talk to her and occasionally let her inside (the same way the Beatles treated other Apple Scruffs), starting in/around late 1967.  

Tony Bramwell tells a very bizarre story about John being panicked one day in late ‘67, regretful and paranoid after giving Yoko a hand-written letter and a lock of his hair (?).  A frightened John asked Tony to retrieve the items from Yoko.  Considering the fact that John believed (until his death) that Yoko had magical powers, it sounds as if John asked her to make some sort of voodoo/love potion.  Perhaps their early friendship began as sorceress/client (but who knows? That’s just a guess).

We know that John continued to receive tons of mail from Yoko while he was on retreat in India.  According to John, he eventually began to really look forward to receiving these items.  Yoko would send bizarre, artsy stuff like a maxipad with a drop of red paint in the middle.  Who wouldn’t enjoy weird mail like that?  :)   According to John (in both 1970 AND 1980), he still only thought of Yoko as a weird artist by that point.  He insists he was NOT interested in her sexually or romantically, only intellectually, and there is nothing to suggest that he was lying about that.  More importantly, John was having some kind of emotional breakdown in India; he wrote and talked about feeling suicidal in Maharishi's camp.  John never specified the exact cause of his breakdown, although he did later pinpoint ongoing feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness.  

After returning from India, John was highly emotional, erratic, depressed, and abusing drugs and alcohol at an alarming rate.  Derek Taylor recounts John taking some acid trips at his house over two weekends.  During one of these weekends, John’s now-friend Yoko (who he still insists he wasn’t sexually interested in) showed up and helped “rebuild John’s ego.”  In other words, Yoko threw John a life raft and helped pull him out of the darkest, bleakest depression of his life.  

Then in May, after months of erratic behavior, John declared he was Jesus in an Apple board meeting (!).  The following night, with Cynthia away for the weekend, John invited Yoko over (or had Mal invite her) and the two of them dropped acid, made some tapes and had sex for the first time.   As far as we can tell, this information is accurate as it is corroborated by Pete Shotten (who was making the tapes with John before Yoko came over and replaced him!).  Pete said in the morning John came downstairs and shocked Pete by saying Yoko was the answer to all his problems and he was so certain he’d go off and live in a tent with her.  That sounds shocking until you realize John was on acid at the time (in that light, not quite as shocking).  :)  In any event, after that point John and Yoko became basically inseparable for the next 5 years.

There are rumors/theories that John and Yoko were already having sex for months, but so as far as we can tell these are based on nothing but speculation.  We believe John’s initial interest in Yoko was intellectual and personal rather than sexual, as he contends.  We think John slowly warmed to Yoko over that 18 month period; while initially he might’ve found her annoying, frightening and disturbing, eventually he began to find her quirky, intriguing and charming.  We believe their relationship was founded in friendship and that Yoko’s emotional support (and her professed admiration for him as an artist) during that acid trip at Derek’s was vitally important to their bond.

Now, here’s where things get murky. 

John was also later quoted as saying that in retrospect he realized he was unconsciously falling in love with her from afar whilst in India - which may or may not have been the case.  It is certainly common to look back with fondness on one’s own courtship and also possible to fall in love before you realize you are in love (John described experiencing something similar in 1964) so debating this is kinda pointless and we choose not to nitpick this particular point.  However, people have since used this to extrapolate that John was, as you put it, “pining for Yoko in India” which is simply not what John described.  John described gradually looking forward to her wacky mail and developing a strictly platonic curiosity about her.  If you are highly invested in the John & Yoko love story, it’s easy to spin this into secret “pining,” but when you consider that John was, as he put it, suicidal and going insane, it doesn’t quite make sense.  What makes even less sense is why John wouldn’t immediately ask Yoko out upon returning to London in early April, especially since she was aggressively pursuing him at that point.  Yoko was present for at least one of the Derek Taylor acid trips in May.  Why did John wait an entire month to initiate a private moment with her?  

John also said (in Lennon Remembers, I believe) that he privately considered “bringing” Yoko to India (though not as a love interest, but rather in her contemporaneous role as amusing curiosity, i.e. Magic Alex 2.0).  Once again, this may or may not be true, but we have no reason to doubt him.  Nevertheless, this has also been spun fannishly into “John was pining for Yoko as a girlfriend” which (again) isn’t what he said.  :)

To be perfectly candid,  John & Yoko’s public persona is almost entirely artificially crafted.  THIS is corroborated (and detailed) by nearly everyone close to them- May Pang, Ray Connolly, the Dakota staff, etc.  That doesn’t mean their love was fake, just that their relationship was much different from how they portrayed/sold it (or how fanboys like Lewisohn portray it).  At the end of the day, they are just celebrities who we don’t actually know.   We want things to make sense, which is why I think the “John was secretly pining for Yoko for years and his mind was obliterated by love” appeals to some people.  It’s a cleaner, more familiar boy-meets-girl story.  

Rumors and conspiracy theories are plentiful and can lead you down all kinds of rabbit holes (fun or infuriating, depending on your POV).  The “John & Yoko were secret lovers” one makes things a bit sleazier and sexier (I believe Albert Goldman really leaned into this one!).  But if you really want to consider everything, you should also consider this: Yoko’s Tarot card reader John Green insists that Yoko claims Paul was the one she wanted all along.

She told him:  Paul was her first choice (as boyfriend), which is why she approached him first.  She moved on to John only to make Paul jealous (!), which ultimately backfired when Paul then refused to make advances on John’s new girlfriend.  According to Yoko, Paul’s sense of propriety (?!) ironically prevented him from being with Yoko (even though Yoko KNEW Paul was always in love with her)!  So Yoko inadvertently got stuck with John, who she didn’t really want. Also she was convinced, in the late 70s that Paul was still in love with her and only married Linda because he was devastated he couldn’t have Yoko!

Green swears this is what Yoko told him (for the record, she also thought Mick Jagger was in love with her).  Do we believe Yoko said it, that she believed it? Who knows, maybe?!?  Green’s credibility is certainly questionable. But it’s no crazier than much of the nonsense in Goldman’s book (or Francie Schwartz’s), and Green is alleging to quote Yoko directly.  Parts of this account do ring oddly true; Yoko does seems interested in Paul in the contemporaneous audio/footage from the late 60s.  John did ask Paul not to sleep with Yoko (which Paul seemed a bit nonplussed by).  John and Yoko are bizarrely convinced in the early 70s that Paul and Linda’s marriage is doomed (is it because Yoko convinced John that Paul is actually in love with her???).  Many believe Yoko was jealous of John’s affection for Paul; could Yoko also be jealous of Paul’s affection and respect for John?  Maybe.  But this story blatantly contradicts the entire John & Yoko Myth and is so over the top weird... there’s just no room in our understanding for this alternate reality where Paul and Yoko are the true star-crossed lovers :)   

The point is that you can’t believe ALL the theories and rumors because they often directly contradict each other.  Sometimes you just have to use your own best judgment. We hope this was helpful and that we didn’t just confuse you further.  Thanks again for writing in! -Phoebe and the crew

[kitsoa]

A Case In Stubborn Belief

I don’t feel like I’ve reassessed my theories properly since things started going to hell in khux. The benefit to this torturous slog of releases is it allows me to adjust my mindset and theories in real time so as to have a healthy theorist mindset. In other words I use the time between releases to justify my theories and dig my heels in. Hahaaa-- so like, let me preface this by saying that there is plenty of reason to hold onto seemingly jossed theories and evidence because...

1.) Multiple things can be correct at the same time. 

2.) Red herrings are frequently employed. 

Now. I have, in the past summed up my thoughts in this 3-prong Theory for Khux post which is a little dated but subscribes to three ideas.

The Master of Masters is the Author of Fate

Ava is the Traitor 

Ven harbors a split personality.

And while recent events have definitely had me going to the drawing board. I still kinda believe in all three ideas. Let’s work this out. 

Ven as the Murderer

In my original Split-Personality Theory, I proposed that the Darkness within Ven was suppressed to the point that it gained sentience and acted with a will of its own. As Re:mind supports, Vanitas refers to existing long before their split. 

The primary take away was, regardless of who did the dirty deed of killing Strelitzia, Ventus was innocent because he lacked agency. This is still true. 

Now, it seemed as though this theory was disproven in last months flashback of the murder. Ven is clearly coerced by this physical shadowy Darkness to go to the scene of the crime, from which the Darkness strikes Strel down, orders Ven to pick up the Leader Book aaaand physically takes on the appearance of Ava. 

All interactions with this force suggested that Darkness was an external force simply using Ven as a pawn in the scene. Darkness had to order Ven to pick up the book. Darkness manifested separate to Ven. This isn’t something coming from within Ven, it’s simply grabbing hold of him. 

But then we have to consider the entire context of the scene. Ven was planted in the Leader position by Darkness. Darkness set it up so there was some foundation of legitimacy with Ava being seen with him. It was orchestrated specifically for Ven’s benefit... but to what end? Ven’s a pawn sure, but if the goal is getting a hold of a Union Leader, an external force of Darkness shouldn’t have to go through a very risky murder plot to make room. If the goal is to sow discord among the Leaders then killing someone close and framing one of them is all you need to do. If the goal is BOTH then why Ven? His presumable innocence? Is he just convenient scape goat?

This is where I think this months update comes into play. Darkness, spawns from Ven. Darkness has been hiding inside Ven. Ven is the Trojan Horse. While Ven blames himself for the death of Strel, he asserts that “It’s not me”. Darkness isn’t Ven. But that could be wishful thinking on his part...

That Darkness, no matter how external it behaves, is Ven’s. While not behaving like a split personality in the conventional way, the force is essentially Ven’s darkness given autonomy and sentience while still bound to his heart. That Darkness becomes Vanitas. Same idea different manner of arrival.

Is Darkness Legion?

“You’re finally aware, of us.”

In line with this speculation, this line could be referring to Darkness and Ven in the plural. Vanitas was very fixated on Ven and himself being the same being. I don’t see why Darkness can’t have that same attachment.

But if he’s NOT referring to himself I guess I have to talk about my Author of Fate theory.

This line would then suggest that Darkness is most likely one of those monsters in human form MoM was talking about wayyyy back in Cornerstones of Rebirth. In my Figurative Language post, I use MoM’s potential as a disillusioned author of the entire KH reality as a means to interpret his words more figuratively. 

“Well, if you ask if the darkness they fought was comprised of monsters… maybe so. They looked the same as us, so it’s a bit different from now.”

In my interpretation these beings of Darkness were a summation of the darkness of human nature causing endless conflict. It was MoM’s way of explaining that he is who he is because he’s tired of senseless evil. This is where I think 2 things can be correct at the same time. Darkness can be a manifestation of a pure force of evil similar to the heartless AND be a figurative reflection of MoM’s perspective on humanity. After all, the theory postulates that MoM created everything. It’s a reflection of that “Real Evil” creeping into things.  So is this force which I believe born from Ven a part of some kind of new race of Darkness? Yes and No. Yes because I think MoM’s interpreting a realistic evil through the creatures of the series. Whatever impulses formed Darkness inside Ven, is the same tendencies that MoM witnessed in his youth. No-- because the Darkness by virtue of being in this reality gain a form of autonomy that I don’t think MoM’s story is actually depicting. Literal Monsters in human skin basically detach humanity from the consequences of Evil. And while that’s not the case in reality, Mom’s interpretation paved a way for that to be the case in KH cause he’s the author. 

Got really meta there. In my speculation, MoM is coping with the helplessness of reality. Poor guy. 2020 sucks.

What about Ava?

That’s the question isn’t it? Most of my Ava speculation is based on her behavior leading up to the end of Khx. The suggestions from that line of thought haven’t changed. I mean, nothings really modified the implications of Ava clashing with Luxu and starting the first war. If we take into account that MoM manipulated the Foretellers into their own destruction and Ava potentially discovered this, then her actions would make sense. Even with recent developments we know that Ava took action to defy MoM’s plan by changing who received the BoP. Ava is the Traitor. 

So she is actively trying to circumvent this written fate... and all she succeeded in doing was swapping around a book? Yeah, that’s not enough. 

My original theory speculates that Ava is trying to sabotage the entire Data-Daybreak town because it’s a part of MoM’s plan. And while Luxu’s Secret Report in KH3 has wording that suggest that the Data-Daybreak Town is destined to never have the Keyblade War, meaning that the manner needed to sabotage that is to.... cause the Keyblade War. So the way to ‘save’ her Dandelion’s from being MoM’s play things is to trigger the Keyblade War that they wanted to avoid, all so that she can attempt to remove them from MoM’s clutches (I further speculate this is because she doesn’t understand the extent of MoMs ownership over fate and therefore thinks its possible to defy fate enough to escape him).

So this puts her in the perfect motive to do whatever she can to make sure shit hits the fan and war breaks out. It’s an ironic little reversal cause once again Ava is becoming MoM in order to ‘stop’ MoM and she is really the fool here. This desperation might have her joining forces with some unsavory forces and pushing for some... drastic measures (like permitting murder!). It’s all for the greater good of course and she needs to free them from being in MoM’s creation. 

This is why I still think, Ava is a benefactor/ accomplice to Darkness. I think she ultimately gave it access to the Dandelion ranks and orchestrated a deal that would ensure the escape of some Dandelions (through the Arc business with Maleficent) while also the assured destruction of the Data-Worlds that imprisoned them. This is because of the Darkness’s actions with Maleficent and paving a way out of the Data World which seems counterintuitive to the actions of Darkness through Ven, sowing discord and killing little sisters. Sure there could be more than one with more than one agenda but this can come together if you’re stubborn enough. So yeah. Ava is still in cohorts with Darkness. I really want her to be a well intentioned extremist don’t I? 

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Anyway. I am not so deluded that I can’t accept my theory being wrong. It’s okay. I’m not like... seriously hung up about it. But, not only do I think these 3 ideas are just insanely compelling, I DO believe that everything is a monthly slow confirmation here. One week seems to destroy an idea and the next resuscitates it. It’s incredible how they don’t just drop every plot twist at once. As someone trying to write a compelling mystery in my KH fic, I am impressed with how this has stretched out over years. 

I’ll let you know when I’ve really given up. Until then, I’ll just start digging my plot on this hill. Read my theory master list while I do that.