#and if i should remove a point or replace it

[with-my-calamitous-love]

for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times

o. dazai x reader

dazai reads poetry to you after sex ・❥・mentions of sex / physical intimacy (nothing specified) and aftercare

✎ headcanon i’ve had for a while and wanted to write on it <3 here you go.

special tag for: @osamucide because i love you (im sorry this took 86 years)

song: illicit affairs

dazai, obviously, loves to fuck you. feeling your skin pressed against his, lips embedded against yours lazily while he finds different ways to draw pleasure on your body. for him, its a point of distraction. you’re too busy feeling good to feel empty, even if its for a moment.

but its that moment after the high, the returning back to earth, he especially loves. almost reluctantly, he removes himself from you, slowly easing with gentleness you’d expect from him. he was never one for brash, brawny movements. just quiet intimacy with quiet thoughts that speak volumes. he catches his breath with you, watching the rise and fall of your chest as you sink into the pillows beneath him. he tentatively lifts his head from your shoulder as he collapses next to you.

he waits a few minutes. if you fall asleep, he’ll fall asleep next to you. if you’re still awake, he’ll throw some sweatpants on and grab you some water and take a shower. if you haven’t had enough, he’ll invite you to join him.

but it seems unlikely, since right now, you’re still reeling from it. stars and clouds swirl around in your eyes as he stares, lips curved with content. while he waits, he grabs a book from the nightstand.

the pages are browned and worn out. corners of pages have been folded as crude bookmarks, and the last few pages are wrinkled from the time atsushi knocked over a cup of water on his desk. though he offered to replace it, dazai never seemed to mind the way it aged, like the book itself mattered more. almost as if it were a gift from an old friend.

he sees you shift over to face him in his peripheral vision. instinctively, he extends an arm to you so you can sit up next to him against the headboard.

you don’t normally look through his things. though he wouldn’t mind- he doesn’t have much to hide, anyway. the things dazai does keep hidden are things he doesn’t have to worry about you stumbling across. he has quite a large collection of books, and seemingly, he’ll read or has read, anything. biographies, manuals, tales of clandestine meetings or stolen stares. surely, there should be something in that pile you would enjoy. some titles have peaked your interest, but you’ve never picked one up for yourself.

perhaps its because nothing could match the way dazai reads to you.

so you prompt him, though you both already know the answer: “what are you reading?���

he smiles as your voice, scratched from your previous activities hits his ear. the blankets pool around his waist, gaining all the warmth he needs simply by being next to you. “what do you want to hear?”

he gives you the choice because, to him, all poems, with even a small hint of love, in some way, shape, or form, were about you.

which is why he loves your answer so much: “anything, ‘samu.”

his fingers flip to a random page. 113.

brown eyes skim over the words, softening in recognition once he reaches the final verse. he clears his throat, his adam’s apple sitting beneath the skin you’ve kissed and touched many times before.

Leave the perfume on the shelf

That you picked only for him

Leave no trace behind

Because you don't even exist

A dwindling, mercurial high

illicit affairs

clandestine meetings, stolen stares

They show their truth one single time

But they lie, and lie, and lie

A million little times.

his voice is soft, sanguine. he’s never putting on a grandiose performance but never flattening out the words into boredom. he delivers each syllable with justice, with poised pronunciation but a witty flare that is uniquely his.

you can see in his eyes the words resonate with something he’d like to believe he buried. something about betrayal. about feeling betrayed when you have no reason to feel that way, or simply because they left. or about remembering someone for longer than you’ve known them.

but he shoves it down with a question. “do you like that one?”

his cologne has worn off. his hair, though it was never exactly neat, is feathering over his shoulders in coffee-brown tangles. you can see that flushed hint of red on his lips, beginning to swell from kissing too hard. his sleek clothes are somewhere on the floor, and you can feel- from his arm wrapped around you- residual sweat.

still, he notices how you look at him like he’s the entire world, even after reading the poem that brought up so many pushed-down things for him. you see colours in him you can’t see with anyone else.

he gazes at that colour in you, while he awaits your answer.

“i liked it.” you smile, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“thats all?”

“osamu, you could read a grocery list and i’d listen.”

you get a soft laugh out of him.

he presses his lips against your forehead, coaxing you to sleep as he lays you down. he only reads a few more poems in his head, though he may as well have the letters memorized.

a grocery list. he thinks to himself. there was a time in his life grocery lists were the furthest from his head. death and destruction seem to take up a majority of your mind, and groceries are left on the back burner.

oh, but with you? he can spend every sunday morning unpacking expensive, store bought ingredients with you, and momentarily forget about everything else in the world.

for as long as his heart remains beating, he’ll savour all of it. a million little times.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

do you have thoughts on the recent trend of stopping on the street to film police interactions? i have been generally and ambiguously in favor of it, because of the talking points around privileged (especially white and upper-class) people recording police actions being a deterrent for violent escalation. but your points about filming human rights abuses more broadly just made me stop and think about the topic, and i realized i am not sure if i have the education to figure out if there should be a distinction or not. the things you said definitely seem to apply to a traffic stop or harassing a houseless friend as much as anything by ICE, so i am reconsidering my assumptions.

(psychosis acting up, probably missed a few words here or there or replaced them with sillier ones, if you need me to clarify i will send a follow-up ask!)

This is actually a really great ask and I'm going to do two things here.

1) I am going to give you the answer I have vultivated for myself as a white person in racial justice and police abolition spaces

2) I am going to tag in my wife @loreofthejungle who was instrumental in my ability to reconcile the tensions of this question. For a while, she consulted with the union organizing against Alphabet on their policing/protest practices around this, as well as having a lifetime of experience as a black person in a racist police state. Mi vida, can you add anything to this that you feel I did not cover or that needs expansion?

So. My answer is gonna come in bullet point fragments, and I'll try to synthesize the point at the end. Let me know if it brings up more questions or if there is anything you'd like me to elaborate on!

My wife and I pretty equally split the work of handling police interactions. It just depends on the risk factors. Typically, I take over under one of two conditions: 1) there are a LOT of cops [an example would he the day a shot-recorder summoned a fully armored SWAT team to our house], or 2) there is something about this interaction that poses a serious safety risk if things fully go sideways [once, when we were squatting in the swamp, a statie showed up to interrogate us about things of ours that had ended up on private property, and I kept him focused on me because he walked up to us already prepared to charge and remove us by force, and wasn't listening to anyone non-white when they presented our authorization to be on the nearby property]

On the other hand, for your average traffic stop, my wife has actually explicitly asked me to never step in without her directly tagging me in. This is because, as long as certain circumstances are still present, she is simply better equipped to stabilize the situation than me. This is based on the same logic as "don't jump in and berate an abuser you see hitting their partner on the street unless you know FOR SURE that you can keep their victim safe from their retribution, including getting the victim's consent" but sized to scale for an entire police force. Imagine the violence of sitting in a car while lights flash behind you (did you know that police lights can trigger seizures? Did you know we once had a cop admit to us that he was pleased I had a seizure in the passanger seat because he made us sit and watch the lights for 45 minutes?) and you have to keep your hands visible on the steering wheel, you have to ask your seizing spouse to hand you paperwork because their jerky movements are still safer than your careful ones. You sit and you smile, and you say yes sir and no sir when the cop asks questions, you say that you were just taking your spouse home from classes at the local college, you tell the cop where you live because he asked even though you Do Not Want To and Shouldn't Have To, and you know the whole time, that if your spouse finally loses their temper and snaps or gets defensive of you, the bullet will go in YOUR head, not his. You ask yourself if it's worse to die for something someone ELSE did. You ask yourself if your spouse will be able to live with being responsible for you getting murdered in front of them. Your knuckles go white on the steering wheel while the cops make you wait and wait and WAIT running your license. They come back and give you a citation, and you say thank you sir are we free to go? The cop doesn't say anything. Just walks back to his cruiser and pulls back onto the road. Once you can't see him, you take a deep breath and drive home.

Like, I used to think that it was my responsibility as the white person in that situation to stand in the way. And don't get me wrong. Sometimes it IS. But it should never be thoughtlessly done because IT WON'T BE ME WHO SUFFERS FOR IT

I do not film police interactions anymore. Ever. This is not because I do not believe it is could ever be valuable. It's because I know that my most effective role in yhat moment is NOT cameraman. It is interventionist. I'm licensed, I've spent most of my career as an EMS/first responder, I am big and difficult to move around, and when I talk, I know the words to use to make the cops just worried enough to shift their attention to me. If someone else is equipped to film, that is technically their choice. But it is ESSENTIAL that people be willing to take stock of their capacity.

I think filming became a popular idea of what anti-racist action looks like specifically because if you don't know much about filming political actions, it seems like it should be easy to do

It IS easy to do. But it is INCREDIBLY TECHNICALLY CHALLENGING to do it safely and effectively. This is a terrifying gap between perception and reality

Consider what happens when I intervene. My role is not a de-arresting one. Technically, I never do anything illegal. This has NOT stopped cops from threatening me before. Filmed interactions rarely end up exonerating the people abused by cops in a court of law. And the court of public opinion isn't the sandbox some of yall think it is.

If someone is filming the cops while I am intervening in an arrest/abuse sitaution, then they are also filming ME. Take a minute and really think about what the consequences of that could be for me. What happens if I put hands on a cop, even without violence, and it's now documented in your recording? What if they arrest me during the altercation? What if I or the person originally being abused is injured or killed in frame? What about the possibility of being doxxed after? Did you know that medical licenses in some states require you to publicly post your full legal name and contact information on a publicly accessible database, sometimes including your home address? My photo isn't attached to my license, but my workplace is, and my photo is on the staff page as required by ethical standards. It would take all of five minutes of googling for chuds to go from a film of me intervening to knowing where I fucking live. The people who doxx activists can do more with less. Don't underestimate the risk, not just of state-sanctioned retributive violence, but also of vigilante retributive violence.

Why are you actually filming? This is ultimately the most important question in the world. If you don't have a plan for what you're going to DO with the film after, then WHY in GOD'S name would you put yourself in the position of having to scrub that data later or of being harmed/harassed by cops yourself for filming???

Even if you're SURE it's morally the right thing, if you don't know what the video will be for, you will not be able to proactively block your filming such that you are being protective of the risks involved. You will simply be recording, and odds are good that includes a LOT of things that should NEVER be committed to video, even for a good cause.

Yall know the cops kill cameramen right? All the time. Like you GET that part of why it's important to know what you're doing is that you could get other people killed, but part of it is also that Race Traitor is a very real category of person you can and will be slotted into if you do this kind of thing often enough. I have a complicated relationship with local LEOs because on the one hand we maintain a professional relationship for a number of reasons I don't have immediate control over, but on the other hand they are VERY aware of who I am and what I do, and that means they can and have acted on that knowledge in the past. I cannot emphasize enough that I am not speaking from THEORY when I tell yall these things, I am speaking as someone whose entire family has been on the federal government's radar since the 1930s. My childhood home was wire tapped more than once, and in my adulthood I have been made aware of surveillance efforts, both dragnets and targetted. This is NOT unusual in the communities I come from, and in fact my family was largely unmolested by comparison [after all, the secret service haven't been by since my uncle stopped printing counterfeit cash for his engineering projects, and lets be real the FBI and Homeland are fucking cowards who wouldn't approach unless they knew they outnumbered and outgunned you]. I know the phrase "learn about COINTELPRO and other invasive disruption operations" is a cliché on this site, but I remain unconvinced anyone actually LEARNED about these things rather than just reading some quippy posts or listening to a few youtube essays. This is inadequate. Yall need to read the wire tap transcripts, the court proceedings, the jailhouse letters and memoirs, the civil suit allegations, and so many other first hand records of what happens when LEOs decide they want to disempower local activists. And not just for COINTELPRO. Learn about the overlap between the operations wielded against marginalized residents of the so-named United States and the operations wielded against foreign liberation movements. Why do you think Black liberation and Palestinian liberation movements are so tightly woven? They have been since LONG before this most recent acceleration of violence in the Levant. The reciprocity between the IOF and their intelligence branches and OUR military and intelligence branches runs deep.

Not everyone needs to be able to be an activist or perform direct action. And no single specific person should ever feel compelled to do so against their wishes or safety needs. But if you know that you cannot be involved, you need to ACCEPT that you cannot be involved. That your power fantasy of saving the day and being exhaulted for your moral fortitude is in fact a fantasy and you have no fucking business complicating the actions of the people who DO know how to do this work and are able and willing to act on this knowledge.

It should not feel insulting to people for me to tell them that if they cannot be thoughtful and strategic about their interventions, they should simply not fucking intervene. But it does. Why do we take it more personally that we need to step back than we internalize the harm our selfish desire to be included in the moment may do to ourselves and others? What shame are we inflicting on ourselves to elide the truth that by leaving the work to the people who can perform it effectively and safely we ARE making a measured and proactive approach to activism and interventionism?

Is it possibly because this would require you to acknowledge that you are either unable or unwilling to DEVELOP the skills that you would need to act in this way? Or maybe because you feel that you are only a good person if you are seen to actively be a good person? Maybe you simply feel helpless and desperately need to do SOMETHING but are struggling to manage your fear and stress enough right now to actually follow through on that? Whatever it may be, sit with the answer. Wrestle with it. And maintain the guardrail the entire time that you need to know how to not do harm before you can act on political/direct action and intervention.

Shame will not help us right now. We need to be thoughtful and evidence-based.

This got long so I'm going to wrap here, but TLDR:

There is no single answer to whether or not to film in the moment, which is why it is so important to understand not a hard rule but a conversation and process of decision makingnfor yourself that is considered and planful.

Mi amor, please add what you need to.

[why-i-love-art]

I've heard many people complain about Warhol's Campbell soup cans, thinking they were shallow and didn't get the point. But something art can do is recontextualize the familiar, and prompts us to look at it in a new way.

Brand imagery is not designed to stand for itself, but always symbolizes whatever it's selling, and its whole function is to give a favorable impression of the product and facilitate sales. All its design elements, every detail, was crafted purely for that, to exist within a commercial context.

But what happens when you remove familiar brand imagery from that context and present it in a way that subverts its original purpose?

(I include this piece of my room decor to show my own attitude about brand imagery. Except for Bisquick, none of these brands exist anymore. So what function is left for these labels? Maybe at last they're free to be themselves!)

In Coventry's painting above, if we didn't recognize the familiar symbol, we'd categorize the painting as "non-representational" or "abstract," which are labels used when no specific identifiable things are in a piece. But we CAN identify what's being depicted here: McDonald's logo, of course! (That is, if you're of the intended audience, who live in places where this is a common symbol. If you never heard of McDonald's, the painting probably makes no sense.) But it's been cropped in such a way that it's not clear, the way logos are SUPPOSED to be clear. The artist does this to prevent us from taking one look and immediately categorizing what it is, filing it away, and paying no further attention to it.

In fact, the more we pay attention to what we think it SHOULD be, the less we're seeing what it IS. And is it REALLY the McDonald's logo? A significant chunk has been cut out, and what remains merely RESEMBLES the logo. It totally fails to fulfill its original function as a brand image, so it simply isn't a brand image anymore!

So, we take the artist's queue to look at it apart from our internal library of symbols. It is an oil painting of flat shapes of red, yellow, black, and white. And the function of an oil painting is to be looked at. And paintings are treated as valuable because they're one-of-a-kind, difficult to make, and are expected to be meaningful or at least pleasing to the eye. But Coventry's painting becomes cheapened in our eyes if we see ONLY the McDonald's logo: Surely that isn't worthy subject matter for an expensive painting, right? Would we feel that way if we didn't recognize it?

And there is a pervasive emptiness in the composition that makes it feel incomplete, somehow. The trajectories of the lines and the visual weight mostly on the right keep leading our eyes off the canvas, and there isn't anything to settle on in the center, even though the yellow rectangles seem to be pointing there. I think this is deliberate: the artist is not replacing the meaning, but erasing meaning entirely.

Meaningful meaninglessness. How about that.

Keith Coventry (British, 1958), Junk, 2002. Oil on canvas, 33 ½ x 29 in.

[moghedien]

honestly I encourage everyone to get comfortable opening up their electronics. game consoles. computers. phones. keyboards. headphones. whatever. like obviously don't start with the most difficult thing to open up and don't just mindlessly pop open something and lose all the screws and don't do it while its on. but get comfortable looking inside your stuff yourself

its not hard to open up most electronics that don't have an apple logo on them (and even a lot of those are easier than you'd think) and it DOES NOT VOID YOUR WARRANTY.

Companies will try to scare you from learning how to care for your own stuff because they get money that way. Warranty stickers are technically illegal in the US but just isn't enforced, and a company can't actually void your warranty if you repair something yourself, so long as you don't break something else in the process.

like I look at threads all the time where people express fear about just opening up a console and looking at the internals to see which version they have but don't be! its easy, its safe, its free! get comfortable with your electronics and learn how to clean and repair stuff yourself, it isn't scary, companies just want you to think it is!

[melien]

The very first face Milo saw on their first day at work was, of course, Diego, the very person who recommended Milo for the job. Milo knew Diego from university classes - he and his best friend April kind of adopted Milo under their sociable wing.

Diego hasn't been having a good time lately - he was forced to drop out of the university and his athletic program after getting injured, and was currently recovering and trying to get into the firefighting academy. However, Milo envied Diego's ability to always stay positive, no matter what. Well, at least in public - who knows whether Diego would shed some tears in the privacy of his home. Milo hoped he did, for his own sake.

Diego: Milo! Hey, buddy! Nervous?

Milo: Duh. When am I not?

Diego: Okay, remember, you have nothing to worry about. Actually, today's predicted to be a rather quiet day, so you will have just enough time and space to get accustomed!

Milo: ... thanks, Diego. Although, my neverending pessimism doesn't one hundred percent trust the "quiet day" thing.

Diego: No, I promise! Tuesdays are always like this. Would you go to the water park on Tuesday?

Milo: ... no?

Diego: Exactly.

[nvoc]

i downloaded enderal a week or so ago n i forgot about it... i should play but i got no time (i'm lazy)

[riarnu]

prepping this years film round-up collecting movie posters is bull

[pureomi]

˚୨୧⋆｡🍓˚ darry rings - are limited to one per lifetime, emphasizing that love should be exclusive and irreplaceable. true love verification ensures each customer can only buy one ring.

includes: itoshi sae! x reader. 0.9k wc. fluff hehe

you are unable to believe the outrageous actions of your boyfriend. this time, his doings were diabolical to the point of no return. “get out!”

you push itoshi sae out the door in a fit of frustration. his sigh is so loud, it feels like it’s echoing in your head, only making your irritation worse.

“this is my bedroom,” he deadpans, as if stating the obvious will reverse his sudden eviction. it doesn’t work. you’re already diving into the duvets with a determined scowl.

“what are you even doing?” he asks, his tone tipping into annoyance. he narrows his eyes when you march a little closer and throw his pillow into his arms.

“you’re sleeping on the couch,” you declare, voice firm, matching his now sour expression. “and actually, that pillow is way too nice. hand it back.”

he blinks, baffled, before the "too nice" pillow is snatched away and replaced with a sad, flat one that looks like it’s seen better days.

sae stares at the new pillow and then at you. this is so absurd, so far removed from the usual luxurious facade of his life, that the ever-composed itoshi sae actually laughs.

“you’re forgetting something,” he says suddenly, catching your wrist and pulling you closer.

“sae! let go!” you yelp, squirming in his grasp.

“are you seriously this upset over that cheap ring?” his tone is somewhere between exasperation and amusement, as if he should've expected such a reaction.

“it doesn’t matter if it was cheap; it was mine!” you hit his chest with a fist, glaring up at him. “and you hid it!”

“because i got you a better one,” he says, his eyebrows raising slightly, as if that explains everything.

“well, you could’ve just said that!” you huff, shoving his arm. “i was freaking out, thinking i lost it!”

"why do you even like that ring so much?" sae asks, pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s debating whether this argument is even worth his energy.

"because you gave it to me in high school!" you snap back, arms crossing dramatically. "i've spent more time with that ring than with you!"

he freezes, the weight of your words sinking in. the usual sharpness in his expression softens, and for a moment, he just looks at you—really looks at you. his gaze lingers on you, quiet and heavy with a mixture of guilt and something unspoken.

it's true. he knows it. he knows just how many times he’s failed to be present for you, how many moments he’s missed, how many nights you’ve spent waiting for him to come back—both physically and emotionally. each time, each goodbye felt like he was leaving behind another piece of you. your glassy eyes were all he would remember during those long flights.

but that's exactly why he's been wanting to do this for a while. because, although he might not make it obvious, itoshi sae is more attentive than you think.

he reaches into his pocket. the movement catches your attention, and when he pulls out a small velvet box, your breath hitches.

“is that...” you begin to question, even though the answer is obvious.

he opens the box, revealing a sleek, elegant darry ring. it gleams under the soft light of the bedroom—intricate, expensive, but graceful instead of loud, the kind of thing only sae could choose.

“i didn’t hide your ring to be an ass,” he says, a rare gentleness lacing his tone. his firm hand captures yours and slides the perfectly fitted ring on your designated finger.

"i wanted you to have something better," he brings your jeweled hand to his lips, pressing a warm kiss. "something worthy of you."

"i wanted to sign my name to you."

you blink, your chest tightening, and before you know it, you're rushing forward to throw your arms around him in an impulsive, tight hug.

"you're an idiot, sae!" you voice, sound coming out teary-eyed.

a moment passes without either of you saying anything. he just holds you tighter, as if making up for every moment he couldn’t be there. then, he chuckles softly, a low, soft sound that fills the space between you.

you pull back just enough to frown up at him, your hands resting on his chest. "you're laughing?!"

sae, with that trademark smirk, tilts his head slightly. "do you like it?" his voice teasing but with that edge of sincerity you know so well.

you scoff, still holding on to his shirt, a little stunned. "are you seriously asking me that right now?" you mumble, though your heart is already swelling.

"i love it," you finally smile, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. "i love it, sae."

he leans forward, the tug of his smile remaining. "yeah?" he inches closer, grabbing you, leaving no room for escape. "how much?"

"so much.." you manage to whisper against his lips before he fully dives in for a kiss.

his lips move gently against yours, tasting the words you just spoke, savoring your happiness. it’s soft and tender, and deliberately slow, as he prefers.

when he finally pulls back, you're left breathless, your heart pounding in your chest. you glance up at him, suddenly shy, feeling a soft blush creeping on you.

"you're still sleeping on the couch," you point and smile, face full of mischief.

sae shrugs, his expression slipping into one of playful indifference. “fine. but you’re joining me.”

before you can even protest, he scoops you up effortlessly, your squeals of protest only providing him amusement as he holds you securely in his arms.

"okay, okay! you can sleep on the bed!"

a/n: me ignoring my 1k wc essay to write a 1k wc sae fic 👍🏼

[hideaway-or-safehouse]

as someone who needs a lot of external help to regulate my emotions when i cry/have a panic attack/have an anxiety attack/what-have-you: my "Anti-Anxiety Playlist" of fun youtube videos has got (fucking random) an enviable diverse variety. we got video essays, skits, comedy, art, reactions, interviews, animations, documentaries...

i even got an analysis about Thomas The Tank Engine in this bitch. thats wild

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

if my bank doesn’t contact me about abnormal payments from my account over the last two days i will be SHOCKED

[nekomanager]

WHO'S GONNA FUCK YOU LIKE ME ♡

KUROO, BOKUTO, OIKAWA when you told them you wanna break up and they make you regret it

{mdni! 18+} deep penetration, overstimulation, dacryphilia, edging, slight orgsm denial, creampie, breeding kink

KUROO TETSUROU

Your face is buried into the pillow while your body shakes, about to reach the peak of pleasure until he draws his cock out of you.

“Mhmm…” you whine in complain as you rub your ass desperately against his cock.

Tetsurou leans down with his body pressing against your back. He cups your face, squeezing your cheeks a little forcefully, and whispers against your ear with a hint of annoyance, “I thought you don’t want me anymore.”

“Noo…No! Please…” you plead in the verge if tears. The ache of wanting to be penetrated by him is too difficult to bear. “Tetsu, please…”

“Didn’t you just say you wanna break up, huh?” The tip of his cock starts teasing you torturously as he rubs it against the lips of your pussy. “Too bad, the only thing that will break tonight…is you—”

Your eyes cross when he sharply shoves his steel hard cock with full force. It blazes so rough that it has you cumming and writhing beneath him. But Tetsurou is relentless. He fucks you so violently deep from behind, making his point clear by drilling into your pussy and into your head why you should never ever think of breaking up ever again.

“Tell me what you want, sweetheart?”

“You…I want you!” Your head spins with the overwhelming pleasure. The orgasm comes rushing in over and over again.

He’s breaking you apart, railing you hard, making you regret spouting off that childish threat just because you are arguing over something so petty.

“Louder, Y/N! Say it louder!” he demands in a grunt, taking your wrists and using them as lever. Your bodies collide hard against each other, skins slapping and turning red.

“Tetsu! I want you, Tetsu!” you cry as tears of immense pleasure trickle down your cheeks. “Only you…ahhh!” You’re pathetic so pathetic to even think of breaking up with this man when you can’t even imagine a life without him, his cock, his touch, his love, his very being.

“Ugh- I’m coming hnggh-“ Tetsurou grunts as your bodies fell onto the bed. He laces your fingers with his so tightly and tenderly squeezes your hand while he spills all of him inside you.

He protectively cages you in his arms and hides his face in the nook of your neck. His embrace demonstrates how he refuses to let you go.

“Now, don’t you ever scare me like that again, okay?” he says before planting a soft kiss on your temple.

BOKUTO KOUTARO

“Hey, is this not enough? Am I not lovin’ you enough?” he asks while his fingers inside your pussy are doing all the work. “Are you really gonna break up with me?”

“I’m sorry…I didn’t- I didn’t mean— aaaah…” you moan, your back arching as he hooks his fingers and pumps even stronger.

“Maybe…this will change your mind…”

You pant when he removes his fingers only to be replaced by his huge cock. Your eyes widen as you take in his size. Up until now, your walls stretch to make him fit. His monstrous dick is enough to send you into a little orgasm.

You lightly shake as he begins moving his hips. You could feel your pussy stretch each and everytime he thrusts.

Your moans unstoppable and it encourages him to dig even deeper into you. “Baby, baby, can you feel it now, baby? Would you still leave me?”

“I won’t I! Ahhh haah…” You can’t even find the strength in yourself to respond.

“Y/N, baby!” He pushes your thighs down and puts himself in a squatting position.

“Ahhh haaah…Bokkun! Bokkun!”

He’s now plunging so deep into your womb your mouth opens wide at the blazing sensation building at the pit of your stomach.

“Are you still- ugh- gonna break up with me?”

“No! No! I can’t haah I can’t!” How can you when he’s rearranging your guts so rabidly your insides are taking the shape of his huge cock. Your pussy now knows him and only him alone you’re getting crazy with your mind thinking just him and how you don’t like him to stop fucking you like this.

“Fuck- I’m coming, baby! I’m comingh–“

You wrap your arms around him and seal your orgasms with a kiss. You felt his dick milk spill into you, warming up your tummy you’ll probably get pregnant with this. Your bodies relax around each other as you come down from your high.

“Are you…are you alright?” He tilts his head up to look at you. His eyes get a little teary. “Sorry, I got carried away. I really thought you’re gonna leave me.”

“No, I’m not, Bokkun. I won’t leave you,” you say, carressing the side of his face. “I have to say sorry too. I didn’t really mean what I said.”

He sniffs a little. “Does it hurt somewhere?”

You place a hand over your tummy. “No, but it was too deep we might end up having a baby.”

His eyes sparkle, renewing his spirit. “You mean we…We can have a baby? T-Then we can try again to make sure!”

“B-Bokkun!” you call but he’s already slipping a finger in your pussy checking if you’re well-lubricated to accept him. He gets hard again after finding out that your pussy is still stuffed with his cum.

“No more talks of breaking up, Y/N. Let’s make a baby instead.” And you both moan as he slips the tip right in and sinks so comfortably in you, gradually pushing his entire length in. His vigor is replenished with a new agenda in mind.

OIKAWA TOORU

“You seem to be taking my cock so well for someone who wants to break up,” Tooru says while you ride him so good your body slams against his everytime you take the entirety of him deep.

“Tooru! Tooru!” you moan and moan as he watches you with clenched jaw. You just don’t know how he wants to dick you so good you’ll your mind, but you have been quite a bad girl and he’s pouting a little. Now, he wants to remind you how much love him and his cock that breaking up with him is a

“You want…you want it don’t you?” he teases, holding himself back with the best if his ability, not moving his hips and letting take the rein yourself.

“Yes! Yes, please! Baby…” you beg as you place both hands atop his chest and slam your oussy hard against his cock. Oh, you wanna cum you wanna cum so desperately around him by his huge fat cock. “Please, Tooru, please.”

“That’s right…that’s right,” he hisses through his teeth. “Beg me s’more. Grovel, beg me some more.”

“Please, please, please, please,” you plead with every slap of your cunt against him. “I- I won’t! I… never…I won’t break up with you.” Your walls clamp him down in one final despair and that’s all it will take to lose his cool.

“Good girl.” His voice is rough and almost constrained. His hands smooth over your ass, massaging you teasingly. “Now, I’ll make sure you won’t forget about it.” He grabs the cheeks so tight and starts jerking upwards his member relentlessly hitting your cervix.

Your teeth grit against each other as you feel your head going numb. It is too pleasurable that it aches a bit, regardless you just keep in wanting and wanting more of it still.

Feeling his own orgasm rushing in, Tooru wraps his arms around you with unyielding strength. One of his hands cups the back of your head, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

He bends his knees with the balls of his feet flat on the bed, pushing his hips up as he rails you ferociously. Your lips quiver with tears brimming your eyes, making you whimper. The pleasure overcomes you and his cock grazes your walls with stinging heat. You’re losing your mind. It's drawing a blank. Vision blacking out as tour temples go numb yet your pussy feels the sore satisfaction.

“Aaah! Tooru! Tooru, baby… I! I!” The tremors over power your drool dribble down your chin as you moan. You came with pleasure washing over you, your body almost flailing it’s a relief he has you in a tight grip.

He chases his own release doubling his speed which sends you to another orgasm that has you both moaning and screaming each other’s names.

You shift your head to rest on his chest. Gently, he brushes the back of your head while both summer down.

“Babe…Tooru…” you mumble.

“Hmmm?”

“Do you still believe that I can leave you?”

You feel his chest vibrate as he laughs. “Not really. After all, you might not even walk straight tomorrow.”

@pixelcafe-network

[cregansdingdong]

imagine cregan and y/n breaking the bed one night just because of his sheer strength and muscle whilst pounding her, ik the conversation with the winterfell wood crafter would be awks as hell afterwards whilst asking for it to be repaired 😇😇

IM HAVING A PROPHETIC VISION, ANON.

At this point, Cregan and his boo thang are just going to have to become familiar with the man. There is no other option, because your choices are either to have this embarrassing conversation a multitude of times with multiple woodcrafters or just one. Because if y'all think this is a one-time thing, you are terribly mistaken.

Cregan is a very passionate person in bed, regardless if he's on top or not. He wants to make sure the two of you are satiated—that does mean the bed will snap like a twig under a boot i dont make the rules i just work here. Personally, I find the actual deliverance of the bedframe to be the most mortifying. Firstly, that big ass broken bed has to be dismantled and removed, if it's not fixable, which takes manpower, and then the new one brought into the Great Keep and put together. Otherwise, the woodcrafter is going to have to make a house call and show up with his tools and planks, walking toward your marital chambers which is embarrassing too :)

ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. (thoughts ver.)

NSFW stuff under the cut. 18+ only. I'm not responsible for the content you choose to consume. ty.

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

That familiar groan under his weight should've been the first warning sign, but Cregan was too distracted to notice. He was lapping at her pretty cunt, tongue delving as deep as he could go and as thorough as he could be without the motions being too unsteady. Alright maybe he did notice initially, but the thought was very quickly shoved to the back of his mind—especially when his pretty wife was trying to rock herself onto his nose, letting out the most quiet of whimpers muffled by their sheets. His ears were focused on her and her only.

With her pearl rubbing against his bridge and his cock feeling so strained in his trousers, no one could really blame him for forgetting about the delicate state of the bed in an instant. Last time they’d gotten particularly frantic in their lovemaking, there had been a low snap somewhere beneath the mattress, a taunt that he was probably too hefty to be moving so much. But winter was coming, a man’s gotta eat…in more ways than one.

By the time he’d recalled they should begin to take it easy on the bed, he was already balls deep behind her, hands gripping the flesh of her ass like a lifeline. He was suffocating in the best way, cock nestled inside, fogging his brain with nothing but instinct. And then she started begging. By then, well, he decided they needed a new bed anyway—six moons wasn’t too bad. Lasted longer than the previous replacement. Three harsh, unrelenting spanks bloom red on her backside as she squeezes around him, sending his blood pumping to the beat of an imaginary war drum. It would be a miracle from the Gods if she wasn’t pregnant by mid-summer. Cregan just couldn’t help himself.

Rutting against her like a man starved, the right side of the bed almost completely collapses, caving in and nearly throwing him off balance. His wife gasped, pleasure momentarily halted as she looked back at him. “Again? Seriously? I told you to write to him last time, did you?” The answer was no, no he did not. “It might have…slipped…my mind.” He murmured, trying to ignore the throbbing in his full balls. They had a silent conversation of glares and a sheepish grin. Then she concedes. “...We might as well finish then. I doubt it can get any worse.”

It could, actually. And it did. He came hard some twenty minutes later, pounding their hips together with a steady desperation. The dip of the broken side was a little annoying, but manageable. Without the support, the right beams of the canopy end up falling right down. No one was harmed, of course. It was only drapes. Cregan found it almost comical but his wife did not. It was going to be a long letter.

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

[yuvany]

#ENHYPEN TAKING CARE OF YOU

𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 with an injured!reader

OT7 ENHYPEN x fem reader , CONTENT/WARNING(S) :: mentions of injuries + fuff + skinship + kisses + not roofread , WORD COUNT :: 818 <> CHECK BOX !!

( reblogs + feedback always appreciated !! )

𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚

He holds the door open for you as you jump in with your crutches. Heeseung is worried you might injure yourself more if you exert too much force onto your leg, and so he will be by your side at all time carrying your bags for you, pushing out chairs and handling your crutches for you as he sets them aside. "Babe, it's alright. I can do this myself." You sigh, feeling like he is doing way more than necessary. "But I like doing this." He replies sweetly, his fingers running along your cheekbone before placing a kiss onto the place.

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚

Knows what to do by instint. Even if he's never taken care of someone before, he'll look like a professional. Has alarms for when you should take your medication and when to take of the bandages and replace them. "y/n, sweetie, come here!" He calls from the kitchen. As you walk in, you see him holding the medicin prescribed to you. You groan at the sighs, and Jay notices. "It tastes awful." You sigh, and Jay reaches for a jar of honey on a taller shelf. "Won't be so bad if we add this. Cheer up, alright?"

𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗬𝗨𝗡

Will let you do whatever you want. You want to braid his hair? Go for it. Is really caring and asks you over and over again if you're feeling comfortable. "Babe, should I move that pillow over there?" He points at the pillow in your lap, and you shake your head. "No need, I like this." Jake nods, and inches closer to you, his head seeming to want to connect with your shoulder, but he hesitates. "What up, baby?" You ask him, noticing how he's acting. "Nothing." You sigh and pull his head down onto your shoulder. "Jakie, resting on my shoulder won't injure me." You chuckle.

𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙆 𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙂𝙃𝙊𝙊𝙉

Sunghoon was washing your hair for you as you had broken your arm. His fingers massage your scalp as you are bent over the bathtub. You only hear the water coming from the tap and his humming, which makes this immensely comfortable. Sunghoon taps your back when he's done and wraps your head in a towel. "You look so cute like this." He says with a hand on his hip. He also helps you dry it: Sunghoon plugs the hairdryer in the outlet as he sits on the edge of your bed with you on the floor in front of him. He combs your hair with his fingers and parts your hair to make it dry faster. "Thanks, love." You give him a kiss as a gift.

𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗢

He is super gentle and careful. Puts extra pillows on his bed, the couch and removes everything that might seem like an obstacle to you. Wants you to be comfortable, and wants you to heal fast so that the two of you can cuddle close once more. "Sunsun, why so many pillows?" You ask him. "Don't you like it?" He returns the question with a gleam in his eyes, and you shake your head in disapproval, "Of course I do!" you explaimed, leaning on him now. "Well, good." Sunoo hums and sits on the couch as he pats his lap for your head to rest on. You lay your head on his lap and feel his fingers trace your scalp.

𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡

helps you with whatever you need help with, won't indulge too much as he doesn't want you to feel hopeless. He asks you questions about your fracture and how long it will take to heal. "I'll just need to wear this for a month more according to my doctor." You explain as the two of you go on your weekly walk in the evening. His arms wrap around your shoulders and pulls you aside in case someone gets too close, and might accidentally bump into you. His steps are shorter, and he walks slower so that you won't need to exhaust yourself much to match his pace. "Sounds good, honey." Jungwon says, kissing your hair.

𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜

He'll ask his hyungs what to do since he is unsure and doesn't want to do something wrong. You see him on his phone, reading something intently as his fingers are in his hair. "Baby, is everything okay?" You ask, standing up from your seat. "Everything is under control. Rest, please." Riki guides you back with his palm on the small of your back. "You look worried though." You say with eyebrows creased. "I just don't know how to take care of you." He explains, and you crack a smile at his childish tone. "My dear, you don't need to do anything, I'm able to take care of myself." You kiss his cheek, and he wraps his arms around you. "I love you." He places a kiss onto your cast. "Hope this'll heal it faster." "I'm sure it will."

[thalwri]

i'm feeling super feral for zayne so here's a little snack!

it only made sense for you and zayne to keep warm by any means necessary.

it only made sense for you two to strip your clothes off until you were left raw and bare– to keep warm, of course. 

it only made sense for your legs to be held up in his grip with his lips pressing sticky kisses onto your skin while his cock found comfort deep inside you.

“should’ve– listened– to you–“ his voice was trembling in hiccups. he was way too hypnotised by your soft tits bouncing around with each slow, deep thrust. he was way too enamoured by your eyes crossing at the feeling of him raking his way through your walls. he was way too absorbed in the lewd noises that escaped your pretty lips. 

how did you end up in a freezing storage room? it was a prank.

you had brought a few young children suffering from protocore syndrome to zayne for consultation and eventually surgery to remove any shards damaging their organs. it was only moments before they’d go under when zayne realised a bunch of equipment had gone missing and had you go with him to get the replacements.

you had your suspicions, of course. as a hunter you had a strong feeling those petrified children were doing what they could to avoid that surgery. you couldn’t blame them.

well, you would have ten minutes ago. it’s fucking freezing in the storage room. but now you felt more inclined to send your gratitude. if not for them, you wouldn’t be lying over a blanket of clothes being practically dominated by your favourite practitioner.

apart from the droning noise from the vents above you, the only thing you could hear was the lewd, wet clapping of your skin colliding with his, the sound of his moans escaping his lips in huffs, and your own cries riling him up to the point where he went harder and rougher.

“z-zayne–“ you moaned. you couldn’t even muster a sentence without sounding like you were being roughhoused - i mean, you technically were but that’s not the point. 

his eyes were darting all over your dishevelled form from your cute face all the way down to watch his length disappear deep within the confines of your sweet, addictive pussy. each thrust was painfully fast, making the ring of cream around his base larger and frothier to coat his hips in pussy paint.

did he block off all the entrances with ice? maybe.

was he going to stop before either of you were completely satisfied? fuck no.

“i should thank those kids,” he grinned. “it’s not every day i get to see you like this.”

I NEEEEEEEEEEEED HIIIIIIMMMMMMM

[patchworkcuddlebug]

Checking In

>hey is the doll thing real no shame if its just a roleplay thing but like im starting to see em in town more and i just wanna see whats up

>oh! uh hi! sorry i didn't check this earlier i don't get a lot of messages but uh, yeah, i'm becoming!

>holy shit no way

>you're uh, okay with that right?

>what yeah i wanna see what its like and stuff its a witch right

>oh, yes! dolls only really become through magic, and witches are the ones who control it. i went to her and asked

>wait you werent like kidnapped

>i just felt as if i what? oh, no, of course not! she said that there's no n sorry. Miss said that there's no need when so many are willing

>miss

>yeah, it's... the right way for a doll to address a witch i thought it might be a context thing but. guess not!

>oh damn so you just cant control it

>well not exactly? i can hold it back but it feels... bad lt's a little like trying not to blink if i want to, i can just call her "the witch" but it doesn't feel lkie somethig n i should be sdoing Miss. she is my Miss ugh yeah that's already such a relief like, i felt myself shiver from the tension leaving my body

>holy shit so shes just mind controlling you?

>no, not really!

>why would you want her to do that

>it's more unconscious i think? like it's not about her replacing my thoughts with her own it just feels a little less natural to think certain things

>thats mind control

>and it's all for the sake well uh... in a literal way i guess she's technically co Miss is technically controlling my mind but it's i dunno, nice? sorry it's just a personal thing i'm not sure if I can really get into it

>oh cmon you gotta tell me more obey me or whatever your a doll

>right, of course

>theres no fucking way that actually worked

>please stop you're making me blush... but! um, yeah, i just... don't want to be a person anymore. honestly i don't think I ever was one i always felt so lost even if i had so much guidance like i was just supposed to BE something i'm not like it wasn't enough to just do what i was told, i had to change who i was always fuc always messing up and always being insufficient in a way that had to be corrected

>wait wait wait you cant sayh fuck

>so having Miss there to take away the um ...it's inappropriate

>yeah thats the point

>good dolls are meant to be polite

>im actually losing my shit right now is it supposed to be that bad

>i uh

>cuz i swear ive heard dolls say fuck does it like get worse

>it starts pretty small, and then it gets more intense day by day i could try to be rude but it would just make me feel gross not that being a human is gross or anything

>i promise i wasnt thinking that

>i'm still kind of resisting and everything after all i mean, being a doll sounds nice, i want to be one! but. this is the last time i'm going to be human (i think? you know how witches are) so i guess i just want to... savour this

>huh really yeah i guess i get it itd fuck me up if i got all my organs removed and shit

>oh um, if its okay for me to ask, why do people always bring that up? there's a lot to being a doll being just the organ stuff *beyond so it's kinda weird i keep seeing it come up

>its weird dude no offense like your gonna be porclin or plastic or whatever like im fine with it but its still weird to imagine

>yeah, i... guess it is a little striking? and it's the most outwardly obvious change so uh, i guess it makes sense people are usually attached to their insides, and stuff interoception, right?

>so whens it gonna happen

>uh, when's what going to happen?

>whens your body change

>sorry if that came out wrong i uh i'm... not sure, really Miss says it takes a while for everything to shift into place. and it's hard to know specifics from doll to doll but it'll probably take a little longer than the mental changes.

>the mind control

>she says i still ne yes, the mind control Miss says i need to be careful with tea. i'll crave it much more but my body can't survive off of it alone so i need to be careful with my food, and stuff

>cant she just command you to eat or whatever

>yes! Miss has done just that that's why i'm being so careful because good dolls are obedient and this one is a good doll

>woah uh right ok hey theres something i gotta do so thanks for talking to me and stuff

>oh of course! have a nice day ^^

. . . . .

>Hello! It's been a while since we've talked, how have you been?

>wait are you that doll

>Yes, this one is the doll you talked with a few months ago.

>holy shit no way theres no way it happenes that fast is that you in your pfp

>Yes! This one is on the left, next to Miss.

>yeah the doll i got that holy shit dude youre just a. fucking doll now what

>This one is a doll! Awawa! Would you like to talk more about dollhood? This one would love to answer questions for you!

>yeah im fine i think glad to hear about your whole thing have fun

>Oh, okay! Have a good day! Don't be afraid to reach out again if there's anything else you'd like to talk about!

. . . . .

>Hello again! Sorry it's been a while, this one has been a little busy with its chores. How are you?

. . . . .

>This one saw your last picture! Your partner seems very nice.

. . . . .

>Alright, you seem pretty busy. Be sure to reach out if you have a spare moment, this one would love to hear from you again!

[inseobts]

Hello! Idk if you done this before but could you do a imagine of either the strawhats or heart pirates (your choice) reacting to their newest crewmate die during a battle and then a minute later is up on their feet again cussing how much of a pain it is to deal with this shit. Basically has Deadpool inability to die just without his vulgar attitude and language and a lot less annoying, just seemly chill that they can just, come back to life after being shot? Definitely will give some people a heart attack. (Definitely has their bounty rise a lot after the marines find out they can’t die) plz and thank you!!!!

Surprise, I'm alive!

strawhat crew x strawhat!reader (platonic)

words count: 1.7k

tags: platonic, strawhat reader, immortal reader, luffy tries to test your immortality

masterlist || ko-fi

The battle is chaos. Cannons boom, swords clash, and the air is thick with smoke and the smell of gunpowder. You don’t know exactly how it happens, but one moment, you’re blocking a sword swing, and the next, a bullet tears through your chest.

Your body hits the ground with a dull thud.

Silence.

Then, pure, unfiltered panic.

"Y/N!" Luffy’s scream cuts through the battlefield like a knife. His eyes widen in horror, and his usual carefree grin vanishes "Oi! Get up!"

Zoro, mid-swing against an enemy, falters as he sees your unmoving body "Damn it! They got Y/N!" His grip on his swords tightens "I should’ve been watching!"

"Oh no, oh no, oh no!" Usopp’s voice is shrill. He looks like he’s about to throw up "We—we need Chopper! Chopper!"

Sanji’s cigarette drops from his mouth as he turns sharply "Tch—those bastards." His expression darkens, and before anyone can stop him, he launches a devastating kick that sends one of the attackers flying "They’re dead. Every last one of them."

"Y/N!!" Nami’s eyes are wide with shock. She looks from your lifeless body to the enemy forces and then to Chopper, who is already rushing over, tears forming in his eyes.

"No! No, no, no! Hold on, Y/N!" Chopper skids to your side, his tiny hooves trembling as he checks for a pulse "They’re—THEY’RE NOT BREATHING!"

"No," Robin murmurs, brows furrowing "Not like this."

Franky’s hands clench into fists "That’s it! These jerks are SUPER dead!"

Brook, ever the gentleman, removes his hat solemnly "Ah…Y/N, my dear friend… You will be missed."

The crew collectively ignores him.

Luffy’s hands shake "This isn’t funny" he mutters. His knuckles turn white as he clenches his fists "They were my crew! They were—"

Then, right in the middle of their grief, in the middle of the battlefield, you groan.

"God, that hurt like hell."

The silence that follows is deafening.

You push yourself up, rubbing your chest where the bullet hole should be, but there’s nothing. Just a torn shirt and a lot of blood.

"Ugh, I hate dealing with this shit." You stand up, rolling your shoulders like you just woke up from a nap "That one stung."

Luffy’s jaw drops "HUUUUUUH?!"

Chopper looks like he’s about to pass out "B-B-But you were—you weren’t breathing! You were DEAD!"

"Yeah, about that," you say, dusting yourself off "I don’t really stay dead. Kind of a thing I have."

Nami looks like she’s questioning reality itself "Excuse me?!"

"You mean," Usopp wheezes, pointing at you like you’re some kind of horror story, "you just DIE and come back?! Like Brook??"

You nod "Not really... but pretty much."

Sanji, still mid-rampage, freezes "...You mean I just got worked up for nothing?"

"I mean, I appreciate the rage," you say with a grin "Nice to know you guys care."

Zoro stares at you for a long moment "You had us thinking you were gone, dumbass."

"Not my fault! I was shot! I wasn't expecting that!!"

"HOW ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE?!" Franky yells, gesturing wildly.

"Oh, I just don’t die."

"THAT IS NOT AN EXPLANATION!"

Luffy suddenly laughs, his earlier grief completely gone, replaced with awe "Shishishi! That’s so cool! Y/N, you’re like a zombie! But not a creepy one like Brook!"

"Hey!" Brook protests "That’s hurtful!"

Robin, ever the calm one, tilts her head "So you’ve had this ability this entire time?"

You shrug "Yeah, but I never really had to use it around you guys. You all are usually pretty good at keeping me from getting shot or anything deadly."

Chopper is still hyperventilating "I CAN’T HANDLE THIS KIND OF STRESS."

"Well, get used to it, buddy." You pat his tiny head "‘Cause something tells me the Marines are gonna be real interested in me once they find out."

Nami groans "Ugh. I can already hear our bounties going up."

"Not my fault!"

Zoro sighs "You’re a pain in the ass."

You grin "And yet, you’d miss me if I was really gone."

He clicks his tongue but doesn’t deny it.

Luffy laughs again and throws an arm around your shoulders "This is awesome! We’re unstoppable now! Let’s go kick some more ass!"

And just like that, the chaos resumes with the Strawhats now fully aware that their newest crewmate is literally impossible to kill.

The battle wraps up quickly after your "revival", mostly because the enemy forces are too busy freaking out about the supposedly dead person walking around like nothing happened. Some of them flat-out drop their weapons and run. Others just stand there, gaping in horror.

"D-Demon!" one of them shouts before bolting.

"Huh," you say, watching them flee "Didn’t expect that reaction."

Luffy grins "Shishishi! You scared ‘em good!"

Sanji lights another cigarette, shaking his head "I don’t blame them. If I saw a corpse cursing about how annoying it was to die, I’d run too."

Chopper is still clutching his chest, trying to breathe properly "I’m going to need so much tea after this."

Nami rubs her temples "You and me both, Chopper. You and me both."

Usopp finally stops hyperventilating long enough to poke you in the arm "Okay, but like… does it hurt? When you die?"

You nod "Oh yeah. It sucks. But I get over it."

Franky whistles "That is SUPER messed up."

Robin chuckles "It’s certainly rare. The government would definitely want to study you to know how to avtually kill you."

You groan "Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about. If they find out, I’m probably getting a massive bounty."

Luffy’s eyes sparkle "That means we’re gonna be even more famous!"

Zoro crosses his arms "Not necessarily a good thing, Captain."

Before the conversation can continue, a loud explosion erupts from the distance. The remaining enemy ships have started retreating, but they’re firing cannons to cover their escape.

One of the cannonballs heads straight for you.

"Move!" Nami shouts.

"Nah, I got it" you say casually.

The cannonball slams directly into you, kicking up a massive cloud of dust and debris.

The Straw Hats lose their minds for the second time that day.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Sanji yells.

Chopper throws himself to the ground, screaming into his hooves "I CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS!"

"Why didn’t they move?!" Nami shrieks.

Luffy just grins "They’ll be fine. Right, Y/N?"

The dust settles, and there you are, lying on your back in a crater, looking mildly annoyed.

"Okay," you groan "That one sucked more than the bullet."

Brook tilts his skull "Ah, but did you feel it in your bones? Yohohoho!"

"I swear to god, Brook."

Franky shakes his head "I don’t know if this is amazing or horrifying."

Robin smiles "Both."

Zoro sighs "At this point, I don’t think anything can actually kill you."

You give him a thumbs-up "Pretty much hiw it works"

Luffy bursts into laughter and punches his fist into his palm "Alright! That means we really are unstoppable now! Let’s get back to the Sunny and celebrate!"

The crew cheers, except for Chopper, who is still lying on the ground, contemplating his life choices.

As the Thousand Sunny sails away from the battlefield, a transmission crackles to life in a Marine base far away. A serious-looking officer listens to the report with growing concern.

"…Confirmed reports indicate that the Straw Hat Pirates have a new crewmember with apparent immortality. We are still gathering information, but if true, this could be one of the greatest threats we’ve ever faced."

The officer frowns "Increase surveillance on their movements. If this is real, their bounty is going to skyrocket."

The crew is still struggling to process what they just witnessed. Chopper is on his fourth cup of tea, shaking slightly. Nami is already calculating how much higher her bounty is going to be just because of association. Luffy, meanwhile, is grinning ear to ear.

"Alright, Y/N, let’s test it!" Luffy exclaims.

You blink "Test what?"

"Your power! Let’s see how much you can take before you go down!"

"Absolutely not," Nami cuts in immediately "We are NOT using our crewmate as a test dummy."

Luffy pouts "But it’s so cool! Y/N’s like a superhero! Or a really bad zombie!"

Brook raises a hand "As an actual undead individual, I must say that I find this comparison quite unfair!"

Zoro leans back against the mast, arms crossed "I say we let them do what they want. If they really can’t die, it’s useful information."

Sanji glares at him "And what, you just wanna go around slicing them up for fun?"

"Did I say that?"

"You were thinking it."

Usopp waves his hands frantically "Okay, okay, let’s NOT casually experiment with Y/N’s immortality like it’s some kind of game! We should be asking the important questions."

"Like what?" You ask.

"Like… can you drown?"

Silence.

Everyone turns to look at you. Your eye twitches.

"Usopp," you say slowly "Why would you even ask that?"

"Because it’s important! What if we’re in a battle at sea? What if you fall overboard? Will you just come back to life at the bottom of the ocean?"

You pause, then frown "…I have no idea."

"WELL, THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!" Luffy cheers and suddenly grabs you, launching himself off the ship and into the water.

The crew collectively loses their minds.

"LUFFY, YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!" Nami screeches "YOU’RE A DEVIL FRUIT USER!"

Sanji dives in instantly, hauling both you and Luffy out of the sea. Luffy is sputtering and laughing, while you just cough up a lungful of seawater.

"So?" Luffy asks excitedly "Did you die?"

You glare at him "I ALMOST DID, YOU IDIOT!" You shake your head and squeeze water out of your shirt "Looks like I still need to breathe. Maybe I'll just be alive once I'm out of water..."

Chopper collapses in relief "THANK GOD."

Robin chuckles "Well, that settles that. Y/N isn’t entirely indestructible."

Franky grins "Still, that’s SUPER impressive! The Marines are gonna have a fit when they get the full report on this."

Meanwhile, at Marine Headquarters, a high-ranking officer slams a fresh bounty poster onto the table. Your face stares back at them, right beneath a massive new bounty.

WANTED: Y/N Dead or Alive Bounty: 1,200,000,000 Berries

"Find them. Now."