#and if i say that this means el likely started reflecting on mike’s words during the timeskip

[paintingformike]

i feel like i’ve thought of this before but just didn’t dwell on it too much...but the fact that in the cabin scene when will questioned mike about the way el was acting towards him and mike immediately brought up how they were talking about el’s loss should’ve been enough of a hint that the current state of their relationship (el ignoring mike) has something to do with el losing...

[digestionsack]

El’s Playlist Part Three: The Very Interesting Ones (They don’t really tell us anything we don’t know, but they were still very informative)

1: “Papa Don’t Preach” by Madonna

So it’s pretty easy to tell that this is about Brenner. Unfortunately, as I was going through this playlist, I often had trouble distinguishing between the Mike songs and the Brenner songs (DUFFERS STOP PARALLELING MIKE TO BRENNER CHALLENGE: IMPOSSIBLE), but this song is clearly about Brenner (the use of the word “Papa”). I think this can reflect El’s sentiments towards Brenner that she vocalizes in S4, and they have been present long before that.

“Papa I know you're going to be upset/'Cause I was always your little girl/But you should know by now/I'm not a baby”

“I may be young at heart/But I know what I'm saying”

These two lines (“young at heart”) I really like, because this becomes a reflection of El’s character that’s repeated in this playlist. When she is sure about something that she wants, she will stand firm. When she put down Brenner’s hand in S4 and walked away, she did not look back. This is El’s message to Brenner that she will chose what’s best for her, regardless of what he says. He has shaped her worldview, but she is finally figuring out what she needs.

Brenner didn’t respect El’s decision to leave him and his manipulation. Until the end, he was still trying to get her back on his side, so she left him because he wasn’t giving her the respect she was asking for.

Adding onto that…I know ST is a drama and so we probably won’t get this, but Mike has the opportunity to break his parallels to Brenner by accepting El’s breakup and respecting her decision. Besides the fact that this would be a super healthy portrayal of a breakup, Mike taking a step back and trusting El to do what’s right for her and them would be subverting what Brenner did, and El would not cut Mike out of her life like she did with Brenner. I’m not totally happy about all the Mike/Brenner parallels since Mike is a 15 y/o confused kid (I’m not excusing Mike’s actions, he still needs to apologize, but Brenner was knowingly manipulating El and I think “abuser” is a very extreme term to slap on a literal kid when we have other abusers who know they’re being abusive, perpetuate the cycle of abuse, and who’s actions need to be discussed such as Billy, Lonnie, and Brenner). But I think there is still a chance for Mike to subvert Brenner’s actions in a healthy way. I (and probably many other people) would love to see that!

2: “Buzzcut Season” by Lorde

Ugh, I love this song! Lorde’s lyrics are just so poetic, and they are great for analysis.

So after mulling over this song a bit, I came to the conclusion that it’s about El and Max, especially during S3. Let’s go into the lyrical analysis through that lens:

“I remember when your head caught flame/It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain”

A reference to the color of Max’s hair.

“Explosions on TV/And all the girls with heads inside a dream/So now we live beside the pool/Where everything is good”

“The men up on the news/They try to tell us all that we will lose/But it's so easy in this blue/Where everything is good”

These two verses represent Max helping El through her own growth and them spending time together. “The men up on the news” reflects Max’s “there’s more to life than stupid boys,” which helps El in her journey to realizing that the men in her life often do things that aren’t in her best interest, and she should “make her own rules.”

“And I'll never go home again/(Place the call, feel it start)/Favourite friend/(And nothing's wrong, when nothing's true)/I live in a hologram with you/We're all the things that we do for fun/(And I'll breathe, and it goes)/Play along/(Make-believe it's hyper real)/But I live in a hologram with you”

This…is juicy. It could have multiple meanings.

First of all, it could be referencing Max and El in the mall in S3. “Never go home again” and “favorite friend” are vague, but they support this interpretation pretty well. As for the whole “nothing’s real, it’s a hologram” thing…that’s interesting. It could very well be a nod to the themes of materialism in S3, or foreshadowing of some sort (like the fun El and Max have is the calm before the storm of the Mind Flayer). These lines in general also fit with the “fairytale” motif in El’s playlist that you see in several songs—nothing is as it seems.

The other way these lines could go is if they referenced El bringing Max back to life at the end of S4. This is my favorite interpretation, so I want to break this down by the lyrics:

“And I'll never go home again”

After *The Monologue* and El loses Vecna, we hear Mike calling for El to wake up. However, when we get into El’s mind-space, we hear nothing. Silence. She is blocking out all external noise, only focused on Max dying in front of her.

“(Place the call, feel it start)/Favourite friend”

“Placing the call” I think could reference El calling upon her happiest memories with Max, which starts up Max’s heart again (“feel it start”). El’s friendship with and love for Max is what saves Max (“favourite friend”).

“(And nothing's wrong, when nothing's true)/I live in a hologram with you”

I think the “nothing’s wrong” line is El remembering simpler times, the fun memories in S3. Not saying that those memories weren’t true, but I think this line could be juxtaposing the present situation with simpler times in El’s memories. And it’s easy enough to tell that “hologram with you” is probably referencing El going into Max’s mind, sharing the mind-space. They are separated from the real world for all intents and purposes.

“We're all the things that we do for fun/(And I'll breathe, and it goes)/Play along/(Make-believe it's hyper real)/But I live in a hologram with you”

Again, I think this is El tapping into her favorite memories with Max (“do for fun”), and the mention of breathing in this verse makes me more sure that this might be about S4.

“Cola with the burnt-out taste/I'm the one you tell your fears to/There'll never be enough of us”

Reflecting the intimacy of their relationship. Not gonna lie, the first time I heard/read this line I was like “that’s kind of….romantic.” Hey, I’m an Elmax shipper. I’m biased. Sue me 🤪

3: “Maniac Monday” by The Bangles

Let’s jump right into it.

“Six o'clock already/I was just in the middle of a dream/I was kissin' Valentino/By a crystal-blue, Italian stream”

I think this is a reference to S3 El and Mike—pretty self-explanatory, blue being Mike’s color and all. But I think there is some interesting things in here that might not be portraying their relationship in a good light. El has somewhat of a “fairytale/dream” motif, which is basically “nothing is as it seems. What people tell you is true and what you should want isn’t necessarily always what’s best for you. And dreams can be nice. But sooner or later, you have to wake up. And the next verse supports this:

“But I can't be late/'Cause then I guess I just won't get paid/These are the days/When you wish your bed was already made”

Sort of an “I have to wake up from this dream now” and the last two lines is giving “El emotional exhaustion” vibes. She’s tired of all the emotional turmoil and not receiving the love that she wants and knows she deserves.

“Have to catch an early train/Got to be to work by nine/And if I had an aeroplane/I still couldn't make it on time”

There are a lot of references to time in this song. Maybe foreshadowing some time fuckery in S5…or just Vecna in general. And it’s possible that “train” could reference Mike in some way, just because I’m thinking of the whole “running away” motif in Mike’s playlist as well as “Smalltown Boy” including lyrics about trains.

“'Cause it takes me so long (Oh, oh)/Just to figure out what I'm gonna wear/Blame it on the train/But the boss is already there”

Oh damn, if we’re going off the idea that Mike is connected to “the train,” this is interesting…”figure out what I’m going to wear” could be a metaphor for El finding her sense of self throughout the seasons, and if that’s the case, is this implying that “the train” is somehow hindering her?? Real tin foil hat theory lmao. “The boss” could be Vecna.

“Of all my nights/Why did my lover have to pick last night/To get down?/(Last night, last night)/Doesn't it matter/That I have to feed the both of us?/Employment's down”

Okay, this might be crazy, but I think this might have something to do with the timing of Mike’s monologue being right when Max is dying and everyone is losing…if so, this suggests that El is pissed off about the monologue (which we already guessed, but this supports it). “Feed both of us” could be referencing El trying so hard in the beginning to maintain a “normal” relationship but her and Mike not being on the same wavelength at all.

“Time it goes so fast/(When you're having fun)”

Reminds me a lot of what El said in the beginning of S4 about emotions making time speed up and slow down.

4: “Blow Your Mind (Mwah)” by Dua Lipa

So this is pretty much another El power anthem (there are a ton on this playlist), so it could just be on the “self-explanatory” list, but there are a few lyrics that were cool to look into.

“Fighting to fifths/Biting your lip/Loving too late in the night”

So “fighting to fifths” apparently can also mean “to plead the fifth.” What does Google have to say about this? “To plead the fifth means to refuse to answer a question, especially in a criminal trial, on the grounds that you might incriminate yourself.” Remind you of anything? Mike Wheeler I know what you are. That last line could be a metaphor for “we’re drawing this out too long,” but that could have other interpretations as well, so I’m not putting too much weight in it.

“Tell me I'm too crazy/You can't tame me, can't tame me/Tell me I have changed/But I'm the same me, old same me”

Reminds me of Mike in S3 claiming that El and Max were “conspiring” against him lmao.

“And tonight I'm alive, ain't a dollar sign/Guaranteed, I can blow your mind, mwah”

I wonder if “dollar sign” is a reference to El not wanting to be identified solely by her powers. Sort of an “I’m more than just my powers, I’m a human person too.” And her big fuck you to people who can’t recognize that.

5: “Heads Will Roll” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs, A-Trak

Not gonna lie, this one was tricky. The lyrics are pretty cryptic. I did my best, but let me know if there’s anything I missed.

“Off with your head/Dance til you're dead/Heads will roll/On the floor”

So what I’ve noticed a lot in El’s playlist is that there is a certain “fairytale/dreams” motif. I may have covered this already, but for a recap, a lot of the lyrics, song tiles, and artists reference old stories, specifically Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz. “Off with your head” is one of many references to Alice in Wonderland.

“Glitter on the wet streets/Silver over everything/The river's all wet/You're all chrome”

Now do you see what I meant when I said these lyrics were cryptic? Yeah, the most I could get from this one was “silver over everything” possibly alluding to Vecna (“the silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west”). I notice there is also quite a lot of references to water. I have seen several people talking about how water might actually be the Upside Down’s weakness, since there is no water there. Kind of a reach for this song, but if anyone knows more about that theory and wants to apply this, here you are.

“Looking glass/Take the past/Shut your eyes/Realize”

Ooooh, this is good. El in S4 Project Nina, rediscovering her past, realizing she’s not a monster. Nice bit of foreshadowing there…

6: “Dog Days Are Over” by Florence + The Machine

I think this song has a lot of elements of El’s story in it—from plot points to her relationships.

“Happiness hit her like a train on a track/Coming towards her stuck still no turning back/She hid around corners and she hid under beds/She killed it with kisses and from it she fled”

I think this could possibly be referencing young El running from the lab and Brenner. When I first read the lyrics, I was a bit confused, because the context seemed negative but the word “happiness” was thrown in there—that caught me off guard. I think that just goes to show the nature of Brenner’s emotional manipulation and how that affected El—she wants happiness in a father figure, and in the beginning of the show, she thinks that that’s coming from Brenner. However, by the end of S4, she realizes that he was manipulating her the whole time and cuts him out of her life.

“The dog days are over/The dog days are done/The horses are coming/So you better run”

Especially after watching S4, these lines are giving me “final battle” vibes. It seems that every season there has been a kind of “El-ex-machina” storyline, and maybe this is hinting at the fact that S5 will shake up that narrative a bit.

“Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father/Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers/Leave all your love and your longing behind/You can't carry it with you if you want to survive”

I think this is another nod to El’s arc throughout the show—an arc of self-discovery with an emphasis on familial and platonic love. Nowhere in here do I see a mention of romantic love (the closest you could get with that would be “leave all your love and your longing behind,” which might not mean familial love because the love for family is already emphasized in the previous lines—maybe this implies that one of the reasons El could break up with Mike is because she wants to focus on her familial/platonic relationships).

“And I never wanted anything from you/Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh/Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back/Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that”

Another couple of lines about Brenner’s manipulation.

7: “Dead End Justice” by The Runaways

Jumping right into it.

“Long hot summers make me wanna fight/The roar of the city lasts all night”

Specific reference to the summer vibes of S3. Not too groundbreaking. Until they start referencing S4…

“In the naked city/Spaces ain't that pretty/As I was getting dusted/I happened to get busted/Oh yes, I was arrested”

A blatant bit of foreshadowing to El getting arrested…these playlists were made way back in 2017, you say?

“My brain began to fry/This is like a movie/I know I'm gonna scream/All the pain that I feel/Makes me feel mean/It's so sad and crazy here/I think I'm gonna cry/If I don't wake up from this dream/I think I'm gonna, gonna, gonna die”

So this can be interpreted many different ways depending on how you want to look at it, but I think (since this came after the reference to El being arrested) this might be about El’s time in the Nina Project. “If I don't wake up from this dream/I think I'm gonna, gonna, gonna die” is definitely foreshadowing Vecna, and also the dream motif in El’s playlist.

“Your in a cheap run down teenage jail thats where”

Oh yeah, if I wasn’t sure that this song was foreshadowing El’s arrest, I am now. This is the second reference we’ve had in this song alone, and I think there are other references in the rest of the songs on her playlist.

The rest of the song is one big jail reference. This was definitely foreshadowing.

8: “Cherry Bomb” by The Runaways

“Can't stay at home, can't stay at school/Old folks say, "You poor little fool"/Down the streets I'm the girl next door/I'm the fox you've been waiting for”

This could possibly be a reference to El running away to see her sister in S2.

“Stone age love and strange sounds too/Come on, baby, let me get to you”

This could be spun a couple different ways. I think “Stone Age love” could be another way to say “old love,” like El reuniting with her beloved sister after so many years. And “strange sounds” could be referencing El being in a new environment.

I’m pretty sure this song is about El visiting her sister. But there is this one little bit that is a bit dissonant with that theme…

“Hey, street boy, what some style?/Your dead end dreams don't make you smile/I'll give you something to live for/Have you and grab you until you're sore”

I wonder…could this be about Mike? If that’s the case, the lyrics “Your dead end dreams don't make you smile” are really interesting…could it possibly mean “dreams of conforming” and how it’s a lost cause? Also another dream reference…interesting.

9: “Let Me Go” by HAIM

Hehehe…

This is one of many breakup songs on El’s playlist. Like, there is truly a plethora.

The thing is, El had a “breakup” of sorts with Brenner—she cut him out of her life after he didn’t take accountability for manipulating her. So although I am positive that El will break up with Mike, you need to be careful with identifying the breakup songs on this playlist, since El has already cut Brenner out of her life and it can be easy to mix up the Mike and Brenner songs (which is honestly really sad. Like, can we not parallel Mike to El’s abuser for like two seconds? Duffers, please? It’s scary how many parallels there are). So when looking through these songs, I looked specifically for lyrics indicating romance, since that is one obvious difference between Brenner and Mike.

“But take on everything you can/If you go so easily/Go on, get out and set me free/But I'll wait/I won't wait till day you beg again”

This is an example of a verse that could describe both Mike and Brenner. El is expressing anger at not being treated the way she deserves to be, but there’s nothing specifically paternal and nothing specifically romantic about these lines. Until…

“'Cause together we are not one/We are nothing but holding on and on”

To me at least, “‘cause together we are not one” implies romance (like “together we are one” is a romantic line). So I’m going to read this as a Milkdud breakup song. Going off that, “holding on and on” implies trying to hold onto a relationship that is crumbling.

“So let me go/You know I'm not the one for leaving/You know i'm nothing without your love/I know I'm nothing without your love/So please go, go!”

This verse was a bit tricky. El being “nothing” without any specific person’s love is narratively dissonant, romantic or not. So I think this is supposed to be another inversion. But the whole “let me go” message seems to check out, especially with the whole “we’re trying to hold onto this relationship when we really shouldn’t be” message of the last verse.

10: “Bulletproof” by La Roux

Okay, another “breakup” song—so Brenner or Mike? At first I thought Mike, but going through it again I feel that this more foreshadows Brenner’s death and El’s confrontation. However, since the lines are so blurred, I’m going to analyze both possibilities.

“I won't let you in again/The messages I've tried to send/My information's just not going in”

Referencing Mike and El’s fight (pre-“from El”) and the enormous amount of miscommunication that’s going on there. This also probably references El calling out Brenner on how he affected her and Henry and Brenner still refusing to take accountability.

“I won't let you turn around/And tell me now, I'm much too proud/To walk away from something/When it’s dead”

Foreshadowing El putting down Brenner’s hand and walking away when he refused to take accountability for his manipulative actions. It could also foreshadowing El realizing her relationship with Mike is dead and breaking up with him.

“Do, do, do your dirty words/Come out to play when you are hurt?/There's certain things that should be left unsaid”

This verse applies to both Brenner and Mike, but I think it applies more so to Mike, because when Mike says stupid shit that hurts other people it’s because he is hurt and projecting (not an excuse; a reason). Brenner knowingly manipulated El for years. He didn’t need to be hurt in a particular situation to do so, he just did.

“Tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch/And life's too short for me to stop/Oh baby, your time is running out”

A reference to time, which could be hinting at Brenner’s involvement with Henry. “Your time is running out” alluding to Brenner’s eventual (actual) death. On the Mike end of things, this could foreshadow Mike getting Vecna’d and possibly (temporarily) dying, and also El breaking up with him. Yikes, this kid’s gonna have a time next season.

11: “Because the Night” by Patti Smith

So this is pretty clearly a love song (lyrics here), which is probably about Mike and El (at least during the earlier seasons). And I was going to leave it at that, but some of the lyrics caught my eye…

“Have I doubt when I'm alone/Love is a ring, the telephone”

In the context of the song, the narrator is saying that whenever they have doubt about their lover’s feelings towards them, a loving phone call (from their lover) quickly erases that doubt. This caught my eye specifically because of the phone reference. Do we have…any proof whatsoever that Mike ever called El in Cali? Like, we know he sent her lots of letters, but it’s never implied that he called her. Even at the end of S3, he talks about using Cerebro to contact her, not the phone. And this makes sense—phone calls can be tracked by the government, which is the last thing they want. And even then, Cerebro remains at Dustin’s house (calling Suzie at the beginning of S4), so it’s implied that Mike didn’t actually “steal Cerebro.”So…Mike doesn’t call El. He writes or “uses Cerebro.” So from that and the context of the song, we can infer that there is doubt present about the state of Mike and El’s relationship because there was no phone call from Mike to El. Mike and Will on the other hand…well. *Drops mic to adjust tin foil hat*

“The way I feel under your command”

And this makes me think, “okay, wait, is this another subversion?” Because El has never been under Mike’s “command.” The only person with which she had no power in a relationship was Brenner (at least until S4), but this is a romance song…wild.

“With love we sleep/With doubt the vicious circle/Turn and burns/Without you I cannot live”

Another mention of doubt in the relationship…interesting. Makes me think of the song that was playing when Mike and El were making out at the beginning of S3 with the lyrics “just a little uncertainty can bring you down” (I had to rewatch the scene to get the lyrics…ick). What I think is weird is that there is always some reference of “I can’t live without you”—which we know is untrue in El’s case. So is this another funky subversion? It’s all so up-in-the-air.

12: “Just a Girl” by No Doubt

“Take this pink ribbon off my eyes/I'm exposed and it's no big surprise/Don't you think I know exactly where I stand?/This world is forcing me to hold your hand”

This verse specifically seems to be a metaphor for the societal message of “little girls need to hold a man’s hand,” specifically in this context a “father’s” hand—especially how Brenner is trying to convince El that she needs him (which she obviously doesn’t, and she eventually figures that out).

The “pink ribbon” I thought was a really interesting metaphor. I think it represents El realizing that the men in her life are not treating her the way she wants and deserves to be treated. The pink ribbon coming off could represent El’s slow realization of this and the lies Brenner feeding her falling away and no longer blinding her, all culminating in her leaving Brenner at the end of S4.

The “know where I stand” part is pretty fitting to El, especially by the end of S4. She very perceptive and very smart, and you see her awareness of the state of her relationships grow over the seasons, especially in S4.

“The moment that I step outside/So many reasons for me to run and hide/I can't do the little things I hold so dear/'Cause it's all those little things that I fear”

This one’s pretty self-explanatory—it’s referencing El’s time in the lab.

The rest of this song follows this same pattern and tackles the same themes (feminism, feeling trapped, etc.), which is pretty on-brand for El’s playlist.

13: “Midnight Music” by The Runaways

Oh, this one was very fun. After looking through the lyrics several times, I think this song was foreshadowing at least a portion of the final battle (mostly the Hawkins side of things).

“Out here in the smokey places/Looking into those empty faces”

I’m thinking that this could be a reference to the UD and Vecna’s victims. If we’re tying this into El, this could possibly represent how she can see into the minds of people being Vecna’d (specifically with Max).

“Making midnight music/Singing rock and roll songs”

Oh, is this a reference to Eddie’s guitar solo? Niiiiiiice.

“Back here in this cold hotel/I'm bored but you can tell/Your smile said we did OK/I'm glad we had a chance to play”

“Cold hotel” could be a metaphor for a lab setting—probably Project Nina in this context, which would remind El of being back in the lab she was in when she was a kid. Or it could be referencing El’s memories with Henry in Hawkins Lab. The last three lines could be referencing Henry or Brenner—I think it can be read either way. The last line shows that she has taken control of her relationship with one (or both) of these people and let them go. Could the last line be referencing El and Henry playing chess?

“From the plane I see the back roads/Your twilight cities your super towns/From the stage I see the drifters/Lost souls who ain't been found”

I wonder if “plane” could be referencing the Russia plot line slightly—but that’s probably a stretch. “Drifters” and “lost souls” could be referencing Vecna’s victims.

“We live inside your own heartbeats/We share the falls you take/Everything feels like it's about to break”

Could be foreshadowing the giant loss at the end of S4 and also Max’s heart stopping and then restarting.

14: “Trouble” by The New Respects

“Well, this time I want to be done/I want to be, yes, I want to be done/Because I could be a warrior, be a hero, be a saint/But trouble keeps on blocking my way”

I personally interpreted this as El being tired of being put on that “hero” pedestal—not just by Mike, but everyone. This would be especially true after S4 when she has finally learned that “hero” vs “monsters” is too extreme a dichotomy to base her sense of self worth off of—it’s just not realistic or human, and he knows that by the end of the season.

Then again….it kind of also sounds like El is staring evil full in the face here and saying “I will fight,” and if that’s the case, including the word “hero” was an interesting choice, because by the end of S4 she is not using that identifier anymore.

“I'm done, saying things nice/Now you better back up off of me/Because you're on super thin ice/And when it breaks things I'm going to get ugly”

Could mean that she’s done playing by everyone else’s rules, especially the ones made by the men in her life. This is emphasized by the memory montage when she was bringing Max back to life (“we make our own rules”).

15: “A Place to Run From” by Janne Schra

Oh, THIS one is fun. I’m going to have to break it down line by line…

“Time's speeding up/Can't keep up with the news”

This brings to mind El’s comment about emotions and how they can affect time (which she writes about in her letter to Mike). A bit unrelated: I wonder if El’s line could be foreshadowing to the high probability of time-fuckery next season, and how emotions will play a big role in that. Maybe tapping into Henry’s emotions is what will start goofing up the time, and maybe it will be the key to defeating him. This is not a fully-fledged theory; I’m just spitballing here.

The line about the news reminds of that line in “Buzzcut Season”—“The men up on the news/They try to tell us all that we will lose.” Could this line be about the expectations of Brenner/society on El, and how she is having trouble conforming to them (because she shouldn’t have to)?

“I'm playing Russian roulette/I need a place to run from to call home”

The mention of Russian Roulette here is pretty telling…imo, this solidifies the fact that this song is about El feeling lost in the beginning of S4, looking for any sense of stability to cling to in the wake of the loss of Hopper and moving away from the only place she’s ever known.

“Aggression isn't the answer/But I like the taste of blood”

I think this is probably in reference to El hitting Angela with the skate. And this is what we’ve all been saying: El knows that hitting Angela didn’t fix her problems or make her feel better, but coping with violence is something that people have expected from her from a young age. Now that she doesn’t have powers, we are shown the fallout of the violence, and El is realizing (as we see during her fight with Mike) that the circumstances under which she uses violence to deal with her emotions greatly affects how she appears in the eyes of the people around her.

“I miss love In his mansion/I miss Italy Italy and Italian food/I miss compassion in how I do/I miss you”

I think this song is introducing us in the beginning to how El is having trouble coping, and then these lines show us that one of the reasons (the main reason) is because she is missing Hopper. “Russian Roulette…” “Italian food” (in reference to Enzo’s)…

“I wake up with many layers, perfection is the goal/You got to peel a long way if you wanna reach my soul”

So if we’re taking this in the context of El still struggling with the loss of Hopper, she is trying to find that sense of stability in her new life—she’s trying to put on this facade of everything being perfect, especially with Mike, but it all falls apart because she’s looking for a sense of perfection that is unattainable. Same with how she views herself—her internal battle in S4 between “monster” and “superhero”—and how she realizes by the end that that’s not a healthy image of herself to hold.

“Ohoh community pressure they say I'm missing out/Don't know who my friends are but I like everything they talk about”

The first line is pretty self-explanatory. El feels excluded by her peers at school, who bully her relentlessly. El hates them, yes, but what the second line suggests is that she also wants their outward appearance of being “normal” as a way of finding stability, and she is romanticizing the facade of perfection that Angela and her friends put on.

16: “Wicked Ones” by Dorothy

“This night ain't for the faint of heart/'Cause the faint of heart gonna fall apart”

I’m thinking (and this theory is supported by Mike’s playlist) that “night” is a metaphor for the Upside Down, which makes sense especially in the context of these lines. Also, could “heart” be a reference to Mike? I think the main purpose of these lines were to establish that “night” metaphor, but food for thought.

“This night ain't for the holy man with the holy plan/For the promise land/This night we got the evil hand/And the evil hand gonn' raise the dead”

So it continues off the “not for the faint of heart” thing for the first line. Here’s a random theory: What if either El or Will leading a group through the Upside Down, which shows their abilities to navigate it? Maybe they assume some sort of leader role (Main Character Will Byers is already confirmed, so we might see this). The last two lines are a bit funny…we know that El can raise the dead (as she did with Max), but she isn’t evil (unless they pull a whole ass plot twist on us next season, the chances of this being slim to none). So can Henry raise the dead as well?

“This night ain't for the faint of heart/'Cause when the train wreck comes gonna leave them out”

So the first line is repeated—but the second line is making me think of this post, which points out how Nina’s story about waiting for her lover’s train that never came could be a metaphor for El’s experiences. If it is, this could be a metaphor for how some of the relationships El has are not turning out to be the best for her (notably, Brenner and Mike). If this isn’t what this line meant, it’s probably foreshadowing the Everything Gone to Shit ending we see at the end of S4.

17: “Head Over Heels” by The Go-Go’s

“Been running so long/I've nearly lost all track of time”

This got me thinking that this song is foreshadowing Vecna and time-fuckery, not just in S4 but possibly in S5 as well.

“In every direction/I couldn't see the warning signs”

So if we’re going off the idea that this is about Henry/Vecna, it’s possible that this is referencing El trusting Henry and the realizing he was using her the whole time to get the chip out of his neck.

“I must be losin' it/'Cause my mind plays tricks on me”

Oooh, yeah, definitely referencing Vecna’s visions/curse here. But this could also be about El’s own memory, and her journey through her past in Project Nina.

“It looked so easy/But you know looks sometimes deceive”

Again, this is probably about Henry tricking El in the lab. I’m aware that there are probably other angles from which to tackle this, but if I’m going off the previous lines of the song, I’m personally interpreting this as being about Henry.

“No more connections/I don't need any more advice”

Once El realizes that Henry has been using her and wants her to join him, she becomes angry and refuses. This could also apply to many other people/relationships in El’s life, especially her relationship with Brenner. She didn’t want Henry manipulating her and is ready to kill him when he hurts her friends, and once she realizes that Brenner has been manipulative, she cuts him out of her life as well.

“Been running so hard/When what I need is to unwind”

What I’m picking up through this line and other lines in songs scattered around El’s playlist is that El is tired of playing the hero—especially as she realizes through S4 that “hero” and “monster” are unrealistic descriptors. Personally, I’m on her side with that one. I hope S5 has an ensemble cast hero moment, rather than putting El in the “El-ex-machina” role again.

“I've waited so long/So long to play this part/And just remembered/That I'd forgotten about my heart”

Like I said about the previous lines: before the ending of S4, El was so aware of what people saw her as and her role in saving everyone that she was not able to have a healthy image of herself. Those unrealistic expectations (on El by herself and by the people around her) caused her to stray from what made her her, and she feels like she has to put on a show or play a role.

18: “Stuck” by The Aces

I’m honestly just thinking this song is yet another one condemning Mike and El’s relationship. How many of those are on this playlist again? Like 5+? Seriously, Spotify could just call this playlist “Breakup Jams” and very few people would question it. I really don’t have much to say about this song, so I’ll just copy down the most condemning lyrics:

“We talk/Talk 'till we're blue in the face/The words/The words don't resonate/Seasons/They always seem to stay the same/Holding/On to things we said we would change”

This entire verse (imo) describes Mike and El’s relationship in S4 especially. I mean, not even just with the “blue” thrown in there. They try to get through to each other, but they just can’t understand the other person’s feelings. They each can’t give the other what they need or want in a relationship. I won’t even expand on that, because if you’re reading this and you’re a Byler, you already know what I mean. And the lines about “seasons” and holding on to things that never change and need to be let go…yeah.

“Too little, too late/I know that's what you’re gonna say”

Could this be El talking about all of Mike’s apologies? He tries to defend himself in her bedroom when she calls him out for not saying I Love You, but when she leaves, she leaves a note that says “From El” instead of “Love El.” By the time Mike actually does say I Love You, in my opinion, her time in Project Nina rediscovering her powers, her memories, and her perception of herself has shown her that, in the words of Millie Bobby Brown, “Mike just isn’t loving her the way she wants to be loved.” Too little, too late. She won’t wait around for him to get his shit together—especially after everything that happened with Brenner.

“I see it in your eyes, your eyes, your eyes/We ain't satisfied/Waste away our lives, our lives, our lives/We ain't satisfied”

This is why I’m sure that this isn’t about Brenner or Hopper. There is a certain “married couple who can’t file for divorce” tint to this—exactly how MBB described it. We know textually that El is dissatisfied with the state of her and Mike’s relationship—she wants him to say I Love You but knows that he isn’t loving her the way she wants to be loved.

19: “This Town” by The Go-Go’s

So this song doesn’t have many lyrics, but from the few that are present, I think this is a jab at forced conformity and how it’s “killing the kids” (as Eddie says).

“We all know the chosen toys/Of catty girls and pretty boys/Make up that face/Jump in the race/Life's a kick in this town”

Right away, we see gender roles being established in the first couple of lines—one of the ultimate “conformity rules.” But it is hinted that those lines are all a front with the next line about “making up” a face, which could be a metaphor for putting up a facade. This is also hinted at in the “jump in the race” line, which makes me think of a line from “Mad World” on Mike’s playlist:

“Bright and early for their daily races/Going nowhere, going nowhere”

The whole song of “Mad World” is about the pain of the monotony of the world and societal expectations and ideas of “normalcy.” So “jumping in the race” in El’s playlist ties into that distain of societal expectations. I’d say this is all a pretty good summation of Hawkins. The people want to have that image of the “normal, all-American town,” but in reality, it’s anything but.

“This town is our town/It is so glamorous/Bet you'd live here if you could/And be one of us”

So this was definitely delivered in an ironic way; either that, or it’s a jaded vision—the people of Hawkins trying to keep up the facade of normalcy.

“Change the lines that were said before/We're all dreamers - we're all whores/Discarded stars/Like worn out cars/Litter the streets of this town”

So the first line is making me think of the phrase “flip the script,” which could be a metaphor for how forced conformity will only keep you in a box you’re meant to break out of. In the second line, I immediately see another addition to El’s “dream” motif, and the larger line itself suggests that everyone in Hawkins has something about themselves that they’re covering up, hurting themselves by trying to stay in a box. This line is saying that even though everyone tries to act “normal” and puts up that facade of conformity, none of it is real. There’s something about everybody that doesn’t conform, and they all have dreams of breaking out from the monotony.

20: “The Kids (Ain’t Alright)” by Grace Mitchell

So I know I mess around with the order of the songs a bit to classify them, but this song and “This Town” are actually next to each other on El’s playlist. I think if we’re going off the same idea as the last song (that the people of Hawkins are putting up a facade, trying to convince themselves of their “normalcy”), than this song expands on that theme, with more of a focus on the adults in this song coming to somewhat of a realization. This directly plays into Eddie’s “forced conformity…that’s what’s killing the kids.”

“If you came in late/Then you would have missed the early warning/Now we pray for our mistakes/Thrown right in our face, is no one sorry?”

So “late” and “early” are loose references of time. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it, this entire verse screams “Vecnafication”—but who? If we’re still continuing along the “people of Hawkins” angle, this could imply that Vecna will target the whole town in S5, not just individual people…forcing them to confront their own guilt and fears rather than putting up a facade…might be a bit of a stretch, but a fun theory to goof around with.

“Ooh, ooh, I've been so blind/Ooh, ooh, the kids ain't all right”

I’m sorry, did you say “blind?” Bro???? Yes, I’m the context of the song, “blind” goes along with “turning a blind eye,” but eyes are a huge piece of symbolism in S4–Vecna sucking in people’s eyes, Max (potentially) not being able to see anymore, Mike’s freaking sunglasses and how none of his “happy” moments with El have him completely looking her in the eye, Lucas about Patrick: “It was easy to look the other way…” I’m not saying I think that every single Hawkins resident will go blind (but I mean how crazy would that be if it happened right?), but using “blind” here has a lot if implications for the plot. The irony there could be kind of funny (not like funny “haha,” funny like “oh jeez”) if the town does end up getting Vecna’d—they turned a blind eye to the struggles of the kids and now they’re facing a monster that sucks people’s eyes out. Fun stuff.

“Why is everything so stupid now?/I've been drinking my delusions down”

So this makes me think that the people of Hawkins will eventually face reality, consequences for the way they’ve been forcing people into boxes. The way they treated Eddie, Will, Joyce, and Jonathon kind of hasn’t been fully addressed, and when he dies, the town still thinks he’s a murderer. I hope that when they bring Eddie’s arc full circle (the town realizes that he wasn’t actually a murderer), they will address these loose ends in regards to how the town mistreated the Byers as well.

“Now you get what you made/Land of the queer and patriotic/Playing it safe/You want me to finish what you started”

I interpreted this part as from El/the Party’s POV, like, “you’ve forced us to hide our true selves in order to maintain you crumbling and false image of normalcy, and you want us to continue pushing that message on the next generation and the generation after that, fuck that.”

21: “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac

This song is…a bit trippy, if I’m being honest. It was a little hard to riddle out, but I’m going to give it my best shot. There are a lot of different interpretations this song could have, so bear that in mind.

“Now here you go again, you say you want your freedom/Well, who am I to keep you down?/It's only right that you should play the way you feel it/But listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness”

These lines make sense if they’re from Brenner to El, because that’s essentially what he said when El left Project Nina. But this could also be from El to Brenner, especially with that last line of “but listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness.”

“Like a heartbeat, drives you mad/In the stillness of remembering what you had/And what you lost”

So this could be about Brenner, how he lost El by refusing to acknowledge his abuse, and how he ended up dying. “Heartbeat” in the first line and “stillness” in the second kind of implies death—a bit of a stretch, but Brenner did end up dying in the show.

“Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining”

Actually, I want you all to go down two lines and read my analysis on the “when the rain washes you” line first, and then come back to this.

Okay, so going off my analysis on that line, this could be referencing big fights going along with truth being revealed after a while of lying. Brenner manipulated and lied to El for essentially her entire childhood, and when she finally realizes that, it’s like rain washing away all the dirt and grim and nitty gritty until you can see the truth. And with that truth comes El’s anger—thunder—at being lied to.

“Players only love you when they're playing”

A metaphor for Brenner valuing El only when she uses her powers for him? And using her powers to get to Henry? Checks out.

“When the rain washes you clean, you'll know”

First of all, I’ve heard a lot of people talking about water imagery in Stranger Things. I don’t know the breadth of that conversation, but to anyone who knows what it’s about and is looking for more clues, here ya go. Also, rain washing you clean could be a metaphor for the truth being revealed and the knowledge that comes with that, which makes sense if this is El talking about Brenner, especially when we consider her last monologue to him about how he was really the monster and manipulator all along.

“Now here I go again, I see the crystal vision/I keep my visions to myself/But it's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams, and/Have you any dreams you'd like to sell, dreams of loneliness?”

So we’re leaning into the “dream” motif here, and this is definitely hinting at Vecna and his curse. His victims keeping their guilt and visions to themselves until it consumes them, and then “selling their dreams” to Vecna, i.e. being killed. This could also be in reference to El suppressing her trauma memories from the lab, wanting to hide those moments from everyone—including herself.

22: “Bad Things” by Cults

This one’s pretty short, but it just about confirmed a couple of things for me.

“There's nothing like losing out so long/To the bad things I've done wrong/Right now I'm feeling so beat/Just wanna run”

Huh. So. These lines seem to more closely align with El’s mindset near the end of S4 rather than the end of S2. To me, this kind of proves that the playlists don’t mean nothing—and they’re not solely covering S2. I mean, that could still be the case, but if so, this would be just another crazy coincidence, of which there would be too many.

“I'm leaving this place is not for me/Please tell me, who are we?”

I wonder…does this reference El moving away from Hawkins with the Byers at the end of S3, or does it hint at her moving away from Hawkins for good at the end of the entire show? Both could check out—take your pick!

23: “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” by Eurythmics

I’m noticing that a lot of El’s songs hint to Vecna and his curse—especially with her “dream” motif, to which this song is yet another addition—and the forced conformity plaguing the people of Hawkins.

“Sweet dreams are made of this/Who am I to disagree/I travel the world and the seven seas/Everybody's looking for something”

This is really reminding me of the use of “This Town” and “The Kids (Ain’t Alright)” earlier on El’s playlist, which (in my opinion) comment on how forced conformity is keeping people from accepting and chasing the dreams they have that might not be “societally acceptable.” “Everybody’s looking for something” implies discontent with a current state of life—a dissatisfaction with conformist monotony, maybe?

“Some of them want to use you/Some of them want to get used by you/Some of them want to abuse you/Some of them want to be abused”

This verse, I think, comments on the use of power in ST—especially El’s powers. This pretty accurately described El’s relationships with many of the adults in her life—doctors, scientists, the government, especially Brenner. Very few of them see her as more than a weapon or a tool, and even though some of them acknowledge that she is in fact a human being with feelings, they still see her as a little girl who needs to be monitored. So many people have used El for her powers.

“Hold your head up, keep your head up, movin' on”

This provides a beacon of hope—an encouragement, saying that things will get better one day.

24: “We Got The Beat” by The Go-Go’s

This song is pretty interesting because when you first listen to it, it seems to be very upbeat and cheerful. However, when you really look into the meaning behind the lyrics, it takes on a much more sinister tone (at least, in the context of El’s playlist and ST) about the dangers of forced conformity. This is the third song El has on this playlist about forced conformity…interesting.

“See the people walking down the street/Fall in line just watching all their feet/They don't know where they want to go/But they're walking in time”

This could be commenting on the almost scary monotony that Hawkins has fallen into trying to emulate the “perfect small American town” vision. They’ve given up their hopes and dreams and are just keeping their heads down and falling in line.

“All the kids just getting out of school/They can't wait to hang out and be cool/Hang around 'til quarter after twelve/That's when they fall in line”

Same message as the first verse, only this shows us that kids are very much impacted by this “forced conformity” monster (just as Eddie says). This pairs nicely with the “The Kids (Ain’t Alright)” song that El also has on this playlist.

“Go-go music really makes us dance/Doing the pony puts us in a trance/The Watusi, just give us a chance/That's when we fall in line”

Whoa…hold up. Trance???? As in, Vecna’s curse? Again with this tin foil hat theory, but this would make sense if everyone in Hawkins ended up getting Vecna’d to a certain extent. They would all have to face the consequences of shoving down their true thoughts and feelings, and this would be the perfect time for Vecna to strike, seeing as their town is now in shambles—can’t pretend everything’s normal anymore. The things S5 could have in store…we’ll just have to wait and see.

25: “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes

“I realized quickly when I knew I should/That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man/For whatever that means”

Fairly accurate—we’re acknowledging that the men in El’s life have had a lot more control over her than they should.

“Just to get it all out what's in my head/And I, I am feeling a little peculiar”

So, something about being in your head and feeling strange…could this be another references to dreams, trances, and/or hallucinations—all of which are motifs in El’s playlist? Could it be foreshadowing Vecna’s curse? Take your pick…

“And I try/Oh my God, do I try/I try all the time/In this institution/And I pray/Oh my God, do I pray/I pray every single day/For revolution”

So, this could mean a couple of things. First off, it could be referencing El’s time in the lab the first time, when she was a kid. It would make sense, since she wasn’t actually happy there but was trying to please Brenner. It could be a reference to El’s memories of teaming up with Henry to break out of the lab in S4. Or “institute” could be a metaphor for a conformist society. Either way, El feels trapped—and even if this isn’t referencing S4, El does feel trapped in S4 in more ways than one. I feel like this is going to all have to come to a head in S5–and the fallout will be interesting…

End of Part 3! Now for my “Holy Shit” list….

[deanismysavior]

Oh holy shit okay so y'all know I've been working on a theory tying Stranger Things to Plato's Allegory of the Cave, and I will cover full detail on that, but I couldn't wait to post about this because it's too much.

Now if you don't know about Plato's Allegory of the Cave, it essentially explains that people trapped in the Cave have an altered perception of truth, as they are tied down and their reality is being manipulated, and only once you're able to leave the Cave and step into the light can you reach knowledge, enlightenment, and truth.

So in Hopper's Letter at the end of season 3, we get his referring to living his life without love and understanding as a "cave" he couldn't get out of, and we get these lines where Hopper says he's been feeling "distant from you," which refers to El here, but cuts in between scenes of Mike looking devastasted watching the Byers leave and Will crying in the car.

We get this really great parallel narratively in this scene where Mike is sitting in Will's bedroom as he's apologizing. He says that he feels like he "Lost" Will. Meaning that Mike felt as though he was in the Cave in Hawkins without Will.

Similarly, in the van scene, we see Will saying that he felt so "Lost without [Mike]." Even though he uses El as a veil here, we're meant to understand this is about him. So Will also feels as though he's been stuck in the Cave without Mike.

Both Mike and Will are each other's way out of that Cave. They view the other as their guiding light, and this is going to be so important for next season because if we understand the Upside Down to be one of the many Caves present in Stranger Things, as an alteration and distortion of truth, then this means that one needs a guide out of that distortion.

We see during Mike's monologue confession scene that El is struggling to fight against Vecna. Will tells Mike that he needs to spur her to fight with his words, because Will believes that the love between Mike and El is genuine and that Mike's words will be able to break through the influence of the Cave on El, but we know that Mike's words don't actually work until Mike starts telling El to fight, which is after she sees Max in danger. From El's memory montages of Max, we are meant to understand that Max was El's guide out of the Cave, and not Mike, because Max reminded El of who she actually is as a person while Mike's words no longer reflected how El views herself. Mike's view of El here is part of the distortion, and therefore cannot act as a guide out of the Upside Down, because Mike is not expressing his truth in that monologue.

So when we get to this scene in Hopper's cabin at the end of s4 and Will and Mike are on the couch, Will bathed in light and Mike shadowed in darkness, this not only reveals to us the truth that it is Will's feelings for Mike that will spur Mike, but that Will will lead Mike out of the Cave and into his truth.

Also shoutout to this tweet to helping me form this take:

[kaypeace21]

something i noticed, during the s3 byler argument, Mike says “El’s not stupid, it’s not MY fault you don’t like girls.” Mike’s “it’s not my fault” doesn’t fit as a retort, the theme of his retort should be defending El. He should have said “it’s not HER fault you don’t like girls”. Knowing there were other versions of that line the writers must have consciously chosen to leave this one in, knowing how it could be interpreted. anyway, do you have any idea why mike even said that line?

Yes, I have talked about it -here (in my long ‘why Mike is gay post’). But since so many people misinterpret the meaning of Mike’s words- might as well do a shorter/more brief version .And do a post focusing on it. HE’S SAYING THIS TO HIMSELF!

First some background

Mike DOES NOT think Will is gay. Dustin foreshadows their fight in s1 saying “Dustin: “He’s just jealous.”  Mike: “What?” Dustin: “Sometimes your total obliviousness just blows my mind?”  Dustin: “ What matters is, he’s your best friend. And then this girl shows up… and all you ever want to do is spend time with her!” Mike: “that’s not true!”

Dustin:  “Yes it is! And you know it. And he knows it. But no one ever says anything until you’re both start… yelling at each other like goblins with intelligence scores of 0. And now everything is weird”

Mike: “He’s not my best friend! … I mean he is. But so are you.”

 He won’t let himself consider that Will could be gay because then it would be harder to pretend he isn’t gay himself . That it isn’t just a weird phase that he’ll grow out of. We see that throughout the show Mike is projecting his feelings for Will on to El . Who in s1 was described by 5 characters as looking like a boy (and specifically like Will, by 3 characters ). There’s just way too many examples of him projecting to list here. But s3 we see Mike is trying to mimic romantic moments between him and Will (from s2) to El (in s3). In order to transfer his romantic feelings for Will on to El. The “blank makes you crazy” vs “crazy together”, the shed scenes of “most important thing” vs “the best thing I’ve ever done”,etc.

The difference between past seasons though, is that Mike is now conscious that he’s doing this. The more feminine El gets- the harder for him it is to pretend. Especially now that they’re going through puberty- and the physical differences between boys and girls is becoming more prominent. We see this in the first ep of s3.  I talked about it more here, but the Duffers use music with all the characters to convey plot points or the emotions of the characters. One example is when Mike forces Will to dance with a girl so he ‘fakes a smile’. 

So yes, the fact that the very first lyrics that play when we see mileven kiss for the first time  is “Just a little uncertainty can bring you down”-  reflects Mike’s true feelings.And we know this is how Mike (not El) feels about their relationship because he begins to sing the song right after this lyric.The song is even from the album titled “boy in the box”. AKA: Mike is in the closet

“And nobody wants to know you now. And nobody wants to show you how.So if you’re lost and on your own. You can never surrender.” He fears that if he isn’t straight everyone he cares about will abandon him, and that he’d be lost and the only one ‘like this’ -all alone.But he can’t ‘surrender’ the false-idea of being in love with El (out of fear). This is the rural Indiana in the 80s- at the height of the aids epidemic. People on the news said gay people were being rightfully punished with the ‘gay cancer’ (aids). They equated being gay with being a perv, p*d*phile, murderer, or mentally ill. Churches said you’d ‘burn in hell’. In rural areas people would form gangs and murder people they thought were gay. Of course Mike is terrified and wants to be straight! His parents in s2 were Reagan supporters. And Reagan was notoriously homophobic. He’s probably afraid his parents will hate him, kick him out, or that someone will kill him or he’ll die from aids by simply kissing a boy.

  We see Mike is doing his own f-ed up form of conversion therapy. He kisses El but he puts on the wall a drawing of Will so he can look at it while he kisses her. Probably hoping to transfer his romantic feeling for Will on to her.

Like that’s Will! He has light brown hair (not black) and Will is the only one associated with fire and has drawn himself with fire in the past. And Will even overlaps with the rainbow drawing that reads “mike”  before we see the mileven kiss. It was intentional.

So when Will Says “you’re ruining everything (their relationship) .And for what?! So you can swap spit with some stupid girl.”

This infuriates Mike because he thinks swapping spit with El is the best way to save their relationship! And he’s been trying to ‘fix himself’ so Will doesn’t hate him- and it hasn’t been working, to Mike’s frustration. So he screams “El’s not stupid, it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” because he’s projecting. And although, he loves Will… a part of him probably is a bit angry that he’s making him feel this way. 

Mike never actually says to El’s face that he loves her- he even says during his fake-confession  “[old people] say it”.And later Mike apologizes to El and says “sorry, I sound like a [7 year old].” Aka the number Will rolled in s1. Right after he discusses d&d with Will and talks about seeing both of them for the Hollidays. So it’s telling that after he says “El’s not stupid . it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” (to himself). He immediately regrets yelling at Will. He even closes his eyes and takes a breath before continuing.  And apologizes,  by giving a heteronormative answer of:  

“I’m not trying to be a jerk, but [we’re not kids anymore]. What did you think, really?! that we’d never get girlfriends. That we’d just sit in my basement and play games for the rest our lives?” 

Mike is yelling this at himself to keep his feelings for Will under control.El is an idea to Mike about what adulthood is- which is why he doesn’t really defend el (and his ‘love’ for her) but just talks about “girlfriends” in an abstract way.  This was essentially Mike telling  himself-  he’s NOT allowed to just be with Will and never have a gf. He has to grow out of his ‘childish feelings’ for Will- before it’s too late, because being a gay man is dangerous.  That’s why when the camera is on Mike (when he looks back a the byers house -and they only show Will and Mike). The dialogue is  “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”He doesn’t want things to change (and his feelings for Will to evolve into love, because that means Mike has to admit he’s gay and accept his future as a gay man-which at the time, didn’t seem very bright). They both are afraid of the future because of this. Mike tries to act like a ‘straight-adult’ and Will tries to revert back into his childhood because of this. 

Mike also mentions “games’ because d&d is a symbol of byler’s romantic relationship. He’s just pretending to not enjoy the d&d game. Mike says they have to get girlfriends and they can’t play games for the rest of their lives. But that’s what Mike wants- he just wants to be with Will for the rest of his life (playing games) without either of them having girlfriends. Because, we see Mike never took any of Will’s d&d art off his walls.Even though he changed his poster (from the same wall  that had will’s drawings on it) Mike couldn’t remove any of Will’s d&d art.  It was an act - which is why he was upset (in the last episode) when Will was donating the game, and why during the Hopper speech,  it pans to Mike as Hopper says “I miss playing board games every night.”

Mike even has a binder filled with every d&d drawing Will has ever given him.

In the pilot, they even say Will uses d&d to “escape” his insecurities about his sexuality “like mike” & Mike uses d&d to “escape” his insecurities about not having a gf.  * And no, dustin & Lucas didn’t use d&d to “escape” anything- in the pilot script.

And right before Mike says the famous “crazy together”line it zooms in on Mike’s d&d set.

The  “crazy together” scene is romantic since both Mike & Flo both equate love making you ‘crazy’. Mike saying “it makes you crazy” and Flo saying saying in s1 “ only love makes you crazy and that damn stupid”). 

(x)(x)

Mike is lying about his feelings for El- and El is just confused about her feelings for Mike.  The only one’s with mutual feelings for Mike is Will! Will even has a breakdown and goes ‘crazy’ after seeing a pic of them the night they promised to go crazy together - and then Will repeatedly calls himself ‘stupid’ . Because this is when he realizes and admits to himself he’s in love with Mike. And so he grabs a bat (that his dad- who called him a ‘queer’ taught him to use) and destroys castle Byers in a fit of anger and self-hate. That fight was what caused Will to realize his feelings for Mike and the jealousy he had been feeling were because he was in love with Mike. When Mike asks “what did you think, really? That we’d never get girlfriends… play games for the rest of our lives?” 

Will is 100% honest a says brokenly “yeah. I guess I did” And then says angrily “I really did!” . Even if both don’t understand the gravity of their words in that moment Will was honest- he doesn’t want to ever have a girlfriend he just wants to be with Mike for the rest of his life. And Mike, who assumes Will is straight, is shocked that this conversation upset Will. Or that he would disagree with his words.

And again their last conversation (about d&d is very telling and is foreshadowing). What Will meant when he said ,  “I’ll just use yours when I come back- I mean… if WE still wanna play”. Is essentially foreshadowing that the ball is in Mike’s court. If he wants to be with Will for the rest of his life he has to initiate it and prove he loves Will after pretending for so long to love El, instead.

gif credit:  first 2 gifs ampwn98 , 3th gif by janebycrs, 5th gif Cath-avery , 4 & 6th gifs mine

[clericbyers]

yams i don’t usually send asks but imagine when mike and will get together and during one of their ‘dates’ mike starts singing but instead of will hushing him like el did in s3 he starts singing along 🥺

“Mom,” Mike yelled after he opened the door, slipping off his shoes as he worked his way further into the room. “I’m back safe and sound!”

Shuffling from a few rooms away lead to Karen’s appearance around the corner. Her eyes were bright and comforting as she greeted Mike. “Oh, Will’s here, too!”

Will smiled as usual. “Hi, Mrs. Wheeler.”

“I’m so happy to see you!” She patted his shoulder and then turned to Mike with more command in her gaze. “Dinner will be ready in about an hour, Michael, so don’t get up to too much in the meantime. Oh, Will,” she turned to the brunette, “you are absolutely welcome to stay over again tonight.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” he shuffled on his feet and rubbed at the back of his neck with his words.

Mike laughed and pulled Will closer to himself as his laughter melted into a gentle chuckle. Will looked up as he giggled himself and settled into Mike’s side, eyes twinkling as Mike looked down at him. They had a moment lost in each other’s eyes, shades of brown and green glowing with a special love that was ineffable in definition and irrefutable in essence. Karen huffed softly which broke the boys’ attention from each other. Mike flushed lightly but grinned again when Will tucked his head into Mike’s shoulder and laughed with embarrassment at getting caught giving Mike heart eyes by Mike’s mom. The taller boy grabbed Will’s hand and raced down the stairs to the basement where they could spend the next hour together unbothered before dinner.

Will stood by the foot of the stairs as he watched Mike clean up a little, chattering mindlessly about a topic they were discussing on the bike ride over to the Wheeler’s. Mike grabbed a mixtape from beside the cassette player and pushed the tape in, rewinding it with a hum before pressing play. He looked up when he noticed Will wasn’t really responding to his chatter. He raised his eyebrows with concern but Will shook his head and slowly made his way over to Mike.

“Is something wrong?” asked Mike, still confused as Will walked closer.

The brunette slowed as he stepped into Mike’s personal space bubble, arms rising to rest on Mike’s shoulders as his hands clasped themselves behind the taller boy’s head. “Nothing’s wrong,” he hummed warmly, a hand loosening its grip to tangle fingers in the curls at the nape of Mike’s neck. “You’re cute is all.”

Mike blushed furiously, hands coming to rest at Will’s waist. His touch was a soft, steady presence on Will’s body and the shorter boy inwardly relished the simple, intimate contact. “Yeah?” Mike nuzzled his nose against Will’s. “You’re more adorable though.”

“We’re not about to have a ‘who is more adorable’ contest right now,” chuckled Will as he leaned on his toes to close the gap between their lips. Mike sighed into the pressure, eyes flickering shut as he breathed into Will’s mouth and stole his next breath with a familiar ease. Will pulled back with a dopey smile on his lips and he could care less about it. He was in the arms of someone he loved so deeply; it didn’t matter what expression was blazed across his face as long as he had Mike here knowing he loved the other boy as deeply as he did.

Mike pulled Will in closer until they were chest to chest and his knowing smirk was enough for Will’s cheeks to blossom pink before Mike ducked down to steal another kiss off Will’s lips. Will accepted the steal and took what Mike gave in return happily. He raked his hands further up into Mike’s hair, breathing against Mike as his breath hitched from the other pushing him back toward the couch. Will knew the layout of the basement like the back of his hand so he easily let Mike maneuver him until they broke apart laughing as Will’s knees buckled against the edge of the couch.

“Idiot,” Mike murmured teasingly, plopping down on the couch beside his boyfriend with a wide grin. His hair flopped across his face in a boyishly cute manner that made Will’s heart flutter. “I’ve got you weak in the knees, huh?”

“Don’t steal credit from the efforts of your furniture.” retorted Will. He made grabby hands and let out a small oof when Mike pulled himself onto Will’s lap, lean legs framing Will’s own. “Get off; you’re heavy!”

Mike pecked his cheek. “You’re comfortable, though.”

“And?” Will rolled his eyes but let his hands roam down Mike’s arms until he twined their fingers together. Mike brought their hands up to kiss Will’s knuckles. “You’re such a cuddler, Mike; I should have known before we got together.”

“Would that have detoured you?” Mike wriggled his eyebrows but the teasing effect was lost by the shy pink painting his face with rosy affection.

Will loved Mike too much to have second thoughts just because Mike liked holding his hand under the table when they went out with the Party. “Not possible.” Mike kissed Will’s hand again and then Will started shoving him aside. “You’re gonna make my legs go numb with your bony ass.”

“This bony ass that you love,” shot back Mike but he climbed off Will anyway, sure to groan loudly as if it was killing him to climb off the other boy. Will was a bit caught off guard by Mike’s nonchalant use of the term ‘love’ given how hesitant Mike was to admit it for years and even now a little over half a year into their relationship.

Will couldn’t help his smile and he turned to grab Mike’s face with both hands and kiss him, shocking him into sudden stillness. Mike easily melted—he always did where Will was concerned—and was quick to grab at Will’s arms, thumbs rubbing against his skin as he tilted his head into each kiss. Will could live the rest of his life like this, lips repeatedly claiming Mike’s own to the rhythm of his heart beat. Each breath from Mike’s mouth warmed his chest until every one of his own breaths was filled with nothing but an intimate adoration toward the boy in his arms.

Sometimes Will wished there was an easier path to reach this preferable ending, a path that resulted in less deaths, less trauma, less pain, less heartbreak, but every kiss from Mike’s lips told Will that he could make up for the past by living in the present. Will survived and lived in a present where Mike openly loved him back, a present where Mike was his boyfriend and Mike spent hours cuddling Will in Mike’s bed arguing about which Harrison Ford movie was the best until they started roughhousing, which always without a doubt fell into kissing. Will got to live in a fantasy and yes, it came with bad days. There were days, rare but still existing, where he and Mike were at each other’s throats with despair wrapped around their wrists in the ghostly binds of the self-hatred they felt for loving each other that was hard to ignore during the worst of times. There were days where Mike couldn’t speak because of a damning nightmare and days where Will couldn’t find the words to express himself and ignored his troubles until Mike pointed out his behavior. It wasn’t perfect, but it was good, it was beautiful, it was all Will could ask for and more.

Mike suddenly pulled away from the kissing, yanking Will’s trailing thoughts with him as he blinked back the sight of his boyfriend. The raven haired boy suddenly burst out into song. “I, I will be king and you, you will be queen,” he started enthusiastically, eyes squeezed shut as he motioned along with his words. “Though nothing will drive them away, we can beat them just for one day. We can be heroes just for one day.”

Will blinked a few more times but shook his head with a chuckle as Mike started strumming an air guitar and continued his poorly sung cover. “And you,” he pointed to Will, “you can be mean. And I, I’ll drink all the time. ‘Cause we’re lovers,” he grabbed Will’s hands, brown eyes open and bright with enthusiasm that Will couldn’t help but latch on to, “and that is a fact.”

“Yes, we’re lovers,” Will agreed, joining in as he brought Mike’s hands to his for a kiss to the knuckles, “and that is that.” Mike motioned for Will to continue but pulled on his hand to drag him off the couch and onto his feet. Will raised an eyebrow but continued on. “Though nothing will keep us together, we could steal time just for one day.”

“We can be heroes forever and ever; what’d you say?”

Mike started to dance along a little, twirling Will around the room as they continued to sing in tandem. The other boy got more enthusiastic as the song went on, breaking the silly dancing to return to his air guitar theatrics and belt out the lyrics. “I, I can remember standing by the wall. And the guns shot above our heads, and we kissed as though nothing could fall.” Mike blew Will a kiss and the brunette rolled his eyes but took the offered hand, laughing as Mike pulled him in for a real kiss and murmured the next line against his lips. “And the shame was on the other side.”

“Oh,” Will joined in again, “we can beat them forever and ever. Then we could be heroes just for one day.”

They continued to rock in each other’s arms to the rest of the song, their terrible singing slipping into laughter and lovely hums until Mike was kissing him again, so light and airy and Will’s chest hurt from the love he felt for this boy that loved him just as much. “Have I told you I love you today?” Mike asked as he pressed his forehead to Will’s, eyes wet with emotion that he probably wouldn’t share today but Will knew what he felt all the same. He knew the feelings were reflected back on his own face.

“Yes,” he cupped Mike’s face and brushed a thumb under his lashline to catch the tear that wouldn’t fall, “but I don’t mind you saying it again and again for the rest of our lives.”

“Now that?” Mike leaned into Will’s touch and turned to kiss his palm. “That I can do.”

“You’re such a sap, Mike.”

“Sure,” Mike shrugged nonchalantly yet his lips were lined with a smirk, “but you love me.”

Will grinned. “Yeah, I guess I do. I really do.”

[robinskey]

Lover (Steve Harrington x Reader)

A/N: GUYS as you’ve probably noticed, I’m incredibly excited about the release of @taylorswift‘s new album. IMO, Lover is one of Taylor’s best songs to-date, and I thought it would fit perfectly with a fluffy, domestic Steve one-shot. 

Warnings: Mild language, heavy fluff. Story under the cut.

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

This is our place, we make the rules

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

It wasn’t until you and Steve moved into your first home together that you realized how deeply in love he was with holiday decorations.

You had started the process of moving your belongings into the new place at the end of September. By mid-October, Steve had begun pestering you about shopping for Christmas decorations. You reminded him that you hadn’t even unpacked the last box yet, and Halloween hadn’t even occurred yet. Steve was persistent that you needed to get the lights up as soon as possible to “maximize the Christmas spirit.”

After a lot of convincing, Steve had finally agreed to wait until November. By then, you figured, he’d forget about it. I mean, this was the guy who couldn’t remember his social security number and occasionally wrote it on his stomach (“because I’m not dumb enough to keep it on, like, my hand, Y/N, where everyone can see it.” When when you suggested he just carry his social security card with him, he told you he didn’t trust himself not to lose it.) Surely, that guy would forget all about it, right?

Wrong. On November 1st, you were nursing a Halloween-candy hangover when Steve dragged you to Goodwill. You returned home with enough decorations to light up a mansion and spent the rest of the afternoon stringing them all around your tiny one-bedroom house. After dinner, you and Steve headed outside. As the sky faded to black, Steve wrapped an arm around your shoulders, and he watched in wonder as your small townhouse transformed into a winter wonderland.

“Look at that, Y/N! We did that,” he said. The various colors of the lights reflected in his eyes as he gazed down at you.

“I didn’t know King Steve Harrington could get so excited over Christmas lights.” Your smooth teasing was foiled by a strong gust of wind that left goosebumps on your arms and caused you to shudder.

“I’m full of surprises,” Steve said as the two of you started back towards the front door. “For example, you probably didn’t know, but I can make the best cup of hot chocolate in the state of Indiana.”

“Oh, really?”

“Oh, yeah. Grandma Harrington taught me her secret recipe.”

Even though you’d known Steve for years, you learned new things about him every day. You wondered if you’d ever run out of things to learn about the boy you’d known all your life.

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my lover

We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

Dustin Henderson started referring to your place as “our house” before you guys even moved in. He dropped by several times a week with updates on the newest happenings at Hawkins Middle or questions about how to handle a Suzie situation. At least once a month, Dustin crashed on your couch after a weekend movie night. 

On one occasion, you and Steve returned home from a date night to discover half a dozen adolescents gathered around the television in your living room. A curly-haired kid carried around a bag of chips in one hand and waved cheerfully with the other. He flashed his infamous toothy grin, which you met with a half-scowl, half-squint of confusion.

“Dustin? How did you get in here?”

Dustin spoke through a mouthful of Doritos. “My mom dropped us off. And then I used my key.”

Your glare switched targets. This time, you directed it at Steve. He clamped his hand down on his face; you weren’t sure if it was to avoid your gaze or express his frustration.

“Dude, I gave you that key for emergencies only.”

“This was an emergency!” Dustin threw up his hands, sending an army of cheesy corn chips into the atmosphere. After falling back to earth, bright orange triangles wedged themselves into your new white rug. “The season premiere of our favorite show is tonight, and we didn’t have anywhere to watch it.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. Your eyes scanned over the gang sprawled across your couch, armchairs, and carpet. Judging by the boxes of candy and cans of soda littered across the floor, Dustin must have raided your pantry. Apparently, the kitchen wasn’t the only place he infiltrated, since almost your entire linen closet was spread out over the living room. Lucas and Max shared the recliner beside which Dustin was currently standing. Will sat on a pillow with his back against the coffee table, his attention still focused on the television screen. You turned your attention to Mike, who was curled up next to El under a crocheted blanket you’d received from your grandmother. 

“Doesn’t your family have a TV, Mike?” 

"Yeah, we do, but my mom kicked us out so she could watch a soap opera or some shit. She and Nancy love that crap.”

Nancy. 

That name ignited the flame of jealousy in your chest. You knew it was totally irrational; she and Steve hadn’t dated since high school. They’d both moved on-something Nancy did almost instantaneously. Steve had told you the whole saga of their mostly-one-sided relationship, and you were fairly certain Nancy never really loved him.

Still, Nancy was Steve’s first serious girlfriend. She was the first girl-the only girl, other than you-to whom he’d said “I love you” and meant it. Nancy was, and would always be, Steve’s first love. There wasn’t anything you could do to change that.

“Y/N? Hey, babe, you good?”

Steve’s voice jolted you back to reality. You shook your head slightly to clear it, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

You pretended not to notice the way his mouth twitched downward slightly in concern.

“Great. So we can stay?” Dustin interrupted. The hopeful gleam in his eyes was too much to resist.

“I guess,” you sighed, earning a chorus of triumphant “yeah!”s from the kids. “Your show’s probably about over by now, anyway, isn’t it?”

Dustin furrowed his thick brows, as though that was the most blatantly incorrect assumption you could have made. Lucas let you know that “it doesn’t even start for three more hours.”

“Won’t that be, like, midnight? Your parents aren’t going to freak out if you come home at two in the morning?” Steve asked.

“Actually...” Dustin drew out the word until he finally ran out of air. Then, he spoke the next few words in one breath. “We were hoping you’d let us spend the night here?”

You and Steve exchanged glances. Between your schoolwork and Steve’s work schedule, the two of you hadn’t been able to spend as much quality time together. You’d finally both managed to secure a responsibility-free night and a cheesy rom-com to watch while cuddling on the couch. (Steve pretended to hate those movies, but he almost always teared up at least once during the show.)

None of that mattered now, though, because your boyfriend could never say no to his favorite child-or so you thought.

Steve scratched the back of his neck. He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye before saying, “Actually, Dustin, tonight’s not the best night for a sleepover. Y/N and I kind of had plans.”

Lucas raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Plans, huh? What kind of plans?” he said, earning a smack on the arm from his girlfriend.

Color rose to your cheeks; Steve picked up a pillow someone had haphazardly tossed on the floor and launched it at Lucas’s head. Instead of hitting its intended target, though, the cushion collided with Max’s face. Ever the hothead, the ginger quickly contorted her neutral expression into a deep frown. She chucked the pillow back toward Steve with tremendous force, along with a few other throw pillows. Only one actually hit Steve. The rest rained down on you.

And, as a mature, homeowning adult battling literal children, you knew there was only one correct response: to hurl each and every one of those pillows right back.

It didn’t take long before the scene devolved into utter chaos. Fluffy rectangles flew across the living room, smacking into bodies or simply into walls. The kids outnumbered you and Steve three-to-one, so you were doomed from the start. However valiant of an effort you two gave, the party still overcame you, burying you and Steve under an avalanche of pillows.

“Clearly, we won this fight,” Dustin said as he loomed over you. Steve had tried to act as your human shield, so he laid beside you on the floor. “I think that means we earned the right to stay.”

“Dustin-“

“No, Steve, it’s okay,” you said, turning towards him. “I know it’s not what we originally planned, but maybe a sleepover with the kids would be fun.”

Steve looked at you with admiration glittering in his chocolate eyes. “Yeah?” he asked softly.

“Yeah.” You shifted a few pillows to get closer to Steve and plant a gentle kiss on his mouth. He smiled as your lips brushed his, and for a moment, you forgot about the gang of gangly tweens in your living room.

Then, a symphony of “ew”s and “aw”s and “can you not”s and “I think it’s sweet”s erupted throughout the room.

Steve shot into an upright position, pointing his finger in the general direction of the sitting area. “Hey, this is my house, and my girlfriend, and if I want to kiss her, I will. And if you dweebs want to stay here to watch your stupid show, you’ll keep your mouths shut.”

“As long as you keep yours shut,” Dustin quipped. “I think I can speak for everyone when I say we’d rather not see you and Y/N sticking your tongues down each other’s throats.”

You tossed the last pillow throw of the night at Dustin but agreed. You and Steve kept the PDA to a minimum that night. They were just kids, after all, and you didn’t want to corrupt them. However, when Nancy came to pick up Mike the next morning and Steve waved to her from the porch, you didn’t hesitate to flounce out the front door in your robe and draw Steve into a passionate kiss.

You just had to make sure Nancy knew what was yours.

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my lover

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force-of-a-man to be my lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

Your favorite part of the day was coming home to your best friend.

Steve more or less memorized your schedule. You arrived home around the same time every evening, so Steve knew when to start listening for the sound of gravel crunching under the wheels of your car. He would then meet you on the porch with a “hello” kiss and a “how was your day, honey?” You always feigned indignance as he took your bags, murmuring something about how weak he must think you are to not be able to carry them two more steps. But, secretly, you spent your entire commute home anticipating the interaction.

This was especially true on the stressful days, the ones you felt would never end. Even though Steve was completely clueless in most situations, he could typically tell when you were in a foul mood. Those were the times he pulled you a little closer to his heart, hugged you a little tighter, loved you a little extra-just in case you needed it.

Today, you really, really did. It had been one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. You couldn’t wait to crawl into bed with Steve and snuggle all your sorrows away.

As you pulled into the driveway, your heart beat faster in anticipation. You watched the front door swing open. It took you a second to realize that the figure standing on the porch wasn’t your boyfriend. Rather, it was a short, stocky kid with a halo of golden curls. If it hadn’t been for the unmistakable hair, you might not have recognized him; you’d never seen him sans ballcap but plus a paisley-print bowtie around his neck and certainly never with dish rag was draped over his arm.

“Hey, Dustin,” you said. When he responded by simply smiling back at you, you asked, “What...what’cha doing here, kid?”

“Hello, Ms. Y/L/N. I’ll be your server for the evening,” he responded without missing a beat. 

“My server?”

Dustin bent his head slightly in what he must have considered a sophisticated spin on a nod. “Indeed. Now, if you’ll follow me, ma’am...”

You kicked off your shoes and set down your purse before wandering after your guide down the dimly-lit hall. Something crinkled under your footsteps. You quickly noticed small ovals scattered across the wood floor. As you stepped on one, it felt like silk against your bare feet. 

Petals?

You were too busy staring at the flowers scattered across the hall to realize you’d reached your destination. Dustin stopped, and you ran right into his back. You stumbled before regaining your balance and taking a look around the room.

The “server” had escorted you to your own kitchen-a place you were quite familiar with, since Steve couldn’t cook a decent meal to save his life. (To be fair, though, you weren’t much more skilled with the stove, so approximately 90% of your diet was comprised of takeout and peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches.) However, you’d never seen the kitchen quite like this.

It was the cleanest it had been since move-in day. Not a dish sat on the counter or even in the sink. The crumbs typically scattered across the floor had been replaced by rose petals. Sparkling white Christmas lights stretched across the room, and Elvis Presley crooned over the record player in the corner of the room. You didn’t even know Steve owned a record player. (As you later discovered, he didn’t. He’d borrowed it from Jonathan Byers.)

In the center of the room, your cheap card table was draped with a lace tablecloth. Wedged between two covered silver platters that looked like they belonged in a castle, a flickering candle cast shadows on the face of the boy sitting beside it. As soon as his eyes fell on you, he scrambled to his feet and over to you.

“Hi,” Steve said, winding his arms around your waist. He sounded breathless, even though he’d literally just walked a few feet.

“Hey.” Your eyes flicked from his slicked-back hair and freshly-shaven face to his crisp button-up and newly-polished shoes. “What’s-um-what’s all this?” you asked, vaguely gesturing around the room.

“Oh, you know.” Steve pressed a quick kiss to your lips before taking your hand and leading you to the table. “I just thought I’d do something special for you tonight.”

"That’s...really sweet.”

Steve scooted your chair in before placing himself back into the seat across from you. Dustin disappeared into your pantry, then returned with a bottle of sparkling grape juice. As you watched the teenager carefully pour a splash into each of your glasses, you asked whether Steve had bribed or tricked him into spending his Friday night playing restaurant.

“This is my full-time job, ma’am. This is how I earn my living,” Dustin answered dutifully before breaking character. “Besides, four of my stupid friends are on a double-date, and Will’s sick, so I had nothing better to do.”

“Way to sell us on the idea that you want to be here, dipshit,” Steve remarked.

“Hey, show our waiter a little respect!” you teased, gently kicking Steve under the table.

“Thank you, Y/N. But, actually, I prefer the term server,” Dustin corrected. He proceeded to produce a notepad from his pocket and read you the specials-or, rather, special, considering there was only one: spaghetti with meatballs. “On our regular menu, we also offer a wonderful noodle dish with a marinara sauce for the same low price as the special-zero dollars.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “So...just spaghetti again?”

Dustin clapped a hand over his heart in mock offense. “Excuse you, madam. It’s spaghetti without meatballs, which is a completely different experience.” Dustin glanced around as though someone might overhear before quietly adding, “Personally, I would recommend the spaghetti with meatballs, unless you want grubby hands digging around in your dish to pull out the meatballs, which may or may not already be incorporated into the pasta.”

You rolled your eyes but laughed nonetheless. “I guess I’ll have the spaghetti with meatballs, then.”

“Excellent choice. And for you, sir?”

“I’ll have the same,” said Steve.

“Well, you’ve both made this very easy for me. Pardon my reach,” Dustin said, leaning over to pluck the covers off the platters. A heaping hill of noodles, red sauce, and meatballs lay underneath. 

Dustin took the lids and disappeared into the living room. You weren’t sure if Dustin was just trying to stay out of the way or if he was going to attempt to wash them in the bathroom sink. It definitely wouldn’t have been the weirdest thing he’d done in your house; once, you and Steve caught him trying to explain morse code to a squirrel in your backyard. That kid was truly an odd duck. 

And speaking of weird behavior, you were still seriously questioning what was happening. Steve was a sweetheart, and he did everything in his power to make you happy. This definitely wasn’t the first time he’d surprised you with a thoughtful gesture, but it was probably the most all-out he’d ever gone. The last time he even attempted to cook for you was during senior year of high school, when you first started dating. As an after-school snack, Steve had popped some pizza rolls in the microwave and promptly forgotten about them...until, of course, the kitchen appliance burst into flames.

As strange as it was, you didn’t want to ruin the moment by verbally expressing your curiosities. You simply swirled slightly-soggy spaghetti around your spoon and savored the small talk. Eventually, Dustin reappeared to clear your plates and ask if you wanted dessert. 

“What are my options?”

Dustin’s excellent waiter facade faded for a second. He glanced at Steve with wide eyes. His gaze begged for guidance-which Steve failed to provide. He simply squinted at Dustin as if to say, Figure it out for yourself.

The entire ordeal lasted about fifteen seconds. It was too long for Dustin to turn back to you with a tight-lipped smile plastered on his face as though nothing had just happened between them.

“The final course is-the dessert, uh-it’s a surprise.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could have sworn you saw Steve offer a nod of approval.

“Okay...” You drew out the word as your mind jumped to every conclusion possible. “Is it a good surprise? Or is it, like, a somewhat-edible science experiment that might actually poison me?”

“Oh, no, no. It’s a good surprise. You’ll like it. I promise,” Dustin said. “I-uh-I’ll go get it,” he said, then disappeared once more. 

“Steve, why did Dustin just head toward the bathroom? I swear, if he made Jell-O in the toilet or something, I’m going to lose it.”

Steve just shrugged. He avoided your gaze, and a few beads of sweat had broken out across his forehead. That pretty much solidified your suspicions that Steve and Dustin were pulling some weird sort of prank on you.

Dustin returned a few minutes later with yet another silver platter. (Seriously, where was he getting these things?) This time, though, there weren’t any noodles on the plate he unveiled. Instead, a small velvet box sat on the metal.

The next few seconds happened in a blur. You recalled Steve rising from his chair and reaching for the box. Then, suddenly, he was on one knee in front of you. The box opened like an oyster. Instead of a pearl, though, its treasure was a glimmering diamond ring. 

Tears began clouding your vision before Steve’s lips even parted. As soon as he spotted the water in your eyes, Steve started to get choked up, too. He tried to power through, but his voice became more strained with each syllable.

“Y/N. These past few years with you have been the best of my life, and I never thought...shit." Steve blinked rapidly, attempting to clear away the tears. “I never want to spend my time with-with anyone else-damn it,” he murmured as a drop of water finally escaped his tear duct and rolled down his face. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I had this whole speech prepared, but now I’m a mess-”

You stopped his ranting by placing a gentle palm on his cheek and a kiss on his forehead. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I love you for the whole-ass mess you are.”

Steve leaned into your touch for a moment and whispered, “I love you, too, Y/N.” Then, he straightened up, cleared his throat, and softly asked, “Will you marry me?”

“Of course.”

Steve barely had the patience to slide the ring on your finger with his shaking hands before he picking you up and swinging you around. He kissed all over your face, and your happy tears mixed with his in a joyous saltwater solution. 

The kiss fest didn’t end until Steve, caught up in all the excitement, accidentally pressed his lips to your nostrils. The two of you burst into a fit of giggles amplified by the ecstasy of the emotions you were feeling. Your hysteria lasted for several minutes and ended with you and Steve laying on the floor, lungs devoid of oxygen and limbs tangled together.

“Are you guys really that happy, or are you, like, on something?”

You both glanced toward Dustin, whose presence had completely slipped your mind. Luckily, Steve had a response ready. It was cheesy and cliche, but nothing could have fit the situation more perfectly:

“No, dude. We’re just high on life.”

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (Forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Oh, you're my, my, my, my

Darling, you're my, my, my, my lover

***

Taglist:  @novaddictx @anabundance0ffand0ms @rexorangecouny  @broadwayandnetflix @explode-a-pult @whormotional @loulouloueh  @readinthegarden12 @lacunaclouds

If you want to be added to the tag list for a specific character/my writing in general, leave a reply or send me a message! Thanks again for reading. <3

If you want to check out more of my writing, here’s my masterlist. :)

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Were we Gay-Baited? The Issue of Will and Byler/Byeler, a Discussion of Apophenia, Identification, and Empathy

I’ve been struggling with my own feelings since finishing Stranger Things 3. Curiously, I find myself being overcome with rage and disappointment, which isn’t how one is usually meant to feel about a TV show. It wasn’t a bad season by any means, though I do think it was the weakest of the three so far. The one biggest point I find myself stuck on is the treatment of Will Byers, not just as a character, but as a reflection of my own experiences and feelings. Identification happens all the time when we engage with fiction. Sometimes we are meant to do so, while other times it is due to how we interpret otherwise ambiguous aspects of a character or story. It’s an aspect of empathy, as we’re feeling the emotions (or at least what we believe to be the emotions) of a character.  I identified with Will back in Season 1. It looked like they were building, slowly, but surely, towards Will being gay, and I let myself build this idea that his struggles with the Upside Down and the Mindflayer were a metaphor for him coming to terms with these feelings he had for his best friend. I saw the Upside Down as an allegory for being in the closet. A dark, lonely, scary version of the real world. I don’t know if Barb was meant to be seen as a lesbian, but I latched onto that as support for my theory. It was after being left alone by Nancy that she is captured and killed by the Demogorgon. She felt alone and rejected, and subsequently was consumed by the despair that comes with hiding. Will, however, was able to get out due to the overwhelming love and support of his friends and family. Was I wrong to make this assumption? Possibly. Then Season 2 happened, and I don’t know what else we were meant to think.

For reasons we never really find out, at least in the show itself, Will finds himself being stalked by the Mindflayer roughly a year after escaping the Upside Down. This creature wants Will, and apparently only Will. The simple explanation, I suppose, is that it wants what it sees to be his. Will got away, the Mindflayer isn’t ok with that, and this all ensures that our main cast are at the center of the story. I read into it deeper though, which was probably a mistake. This happens during an election year, and Reagan signs are prominently displayed. The AIDS crisis was in full swing, and still mainly seen as a gay disease. Will still doesn’t feel safe, and doesn’t even fully understand how he feels. He flashes back into the Upside Down, feeling targeted and watched. Mike is generally able to pull him back out, and Will seems to seek out the safety of his best friend. Mike is the only one he trusts. Mike is safety, comfort, and unconditional love. He’s special, at least to Will. 

It is again love that saves Will. Joyce, Johnathan, and Mike get through to Will by sharing stories meant to express how they feel about Will. Joyce loves her son, and is proud of his rainbow ship. This was unnecessarily specific if it wasn’t meant to be gay coding. Johnathan shares the building of Castle Byers, Will’s safe haven, after their dad left, The same dad who would call Will a fag. We see Will start to waver, ever so slightly, as they start to reach him, but the kicker is when Mike starts. Mike shares the story of when they first met. He remembers it in surprising detail, and it’s the oldest memory out of the three so far mentioned. Mike is barely keeping himself together as he relates walking up to Will on the first day of kindergarten. He’s so overwhelmed by the memory himself, repeating that Will said yes to being his friend, as if he cherished it immeasurably, and goes on to say it was the best thing he’s ever done. Despite the Mindflayer’s control, Will himself is barely holding back tears at this moment and we see emotion on his face for the first time since being fully possessed. He’s able to start with the morse code. Mike is the one who ultimately broke through. I read this as him being the single most important person in Will’s life, but was it that, or was it simply that he was the last to speak? It’s hard to tell the intent here, especially as Mike’s attention leaves Will as soon as Eleven returns shortly thereafter. All we’re left with is a look at Mike when Will is asked to dance, and his fake smile faltering as he glances at Mike dancing with Eleven. More curious decisions that could be something, or may be nothing.

This brings us to Season 3, where my confusion, annoyance, and anger boil over more with each episode. We start with scenes that I felt did a good job showing an emotional conflict set up by the end of Season 2: how does Mike find room for both Will and Eleven? Mike is shown obsessively attached to Eleven, which is reasonable given his age and his fear of losing her again, and we also see him going to the movies with Will, Lucas, and Max. The latter scene is oddly double-date like, to the point where they don’t sit together, putting Mike and Will separate from Lucas and Max as if to highlight the two separate couples. Lucas and Max get some playful banter in (pretty much the last we see of their relationship this season), and Mike is shown still harboring concern for Will. I found it odd when Mike asked if Will was ok, as Will hadn’t really done anything unusual. The suggestion, at least to me, was that Mike is still paying close attention to Will, and this made sense, as he would have a fear of losing Will the same as he does with Eleven. After this we see Will mope over the amount of time Mike spends with Eleven, but he has no complaints about his other friends. His obsession over D&D is over the top and jarring, and very much out of character. He’s a fully fleshed out character with multiple interests, but all he wants to do is D&D, why? I don’t really have a great answer for that beyond it being bad writing just to set up a later scene. That brings us to their fight, which fully ignited my hopes that they’d continue this build-up.

Will loses it when Mike and Lucas seem to mock his campaign. They don’t really dislike it, they just aren’t engaged due to girl troubles. His anger, though, seems focused on Mike. Will feels betrayed, and laments his loss of the Party due to girls, but he never blames anyone but Mike, even though Lucas and Dustin are similarly focused on girls. He calls El a “stupid girl”, and that wouldn’t be unusual given the situation had we been shown any interactions between El and Will or given exposition to inform us that the two of them get along. Indeed, I got the impression that Will still hasn’t had any meaningful interactions with her, since it’s implied she’s constantly with Mike and only Mike. The only time we see her out with the Party, before the crisis begins anyway, Mike bails with her very quickly. Will resents El. She’s stealing Mike away from him. That’s how I saw it anyway, and I remember feeling that way many a time at that age. At this point, you might still be able to argue it was just Will mad he’s losing his best friend, but then that one line comes. “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” 

This line could have been done in any number of other ways if the implication was anything other than Will is gay and has feelings for Mike (any maybe thought Mike might like him as well). Mike could have told Will he needs to grow up or that it’s not his fault Will doesn’t have a girlfriend. But, no, Will simply doesn’t like girls. Will’s reaction speaks volumes, despite him not being able to talk. Up to that point, Will had been jabbing Mike with accusations, but as soon as Mike says this he’s stone silent. Lips quivering and eyes watering, he stares at Mike in disbelief and fear. To his credit, Mike immediately realizes he crossed a line and softens his approach, something we never see him do when he fights with anyone else. The damage is done, however, and Will’s final words “I guess I did. I really did.” screamed of a breakup to me. Will thought it’d be him and Mike forever. He destroys Castle Byers in a rage, berating himself for being stupid. It’s no longer a safe haven for him, as it is filled with memories of his childhood. A childhood spent with Mike.

This whole scene is never addressed again by the two of them. Lucas is shut down in an attempted apology, and I saw this as Will not wanting an apology from him and not willing to discuss the situation. It still felt very aborted, as if that quick scene with Will and Lucas was meant to tell the audience that, nope, we’re not getting into that. He and Mike have no real significant interactions throughout the rest of the season, though Will is shown reacting negatively anytime Mike expresses his feelings for Eleven. Our attention is never really drawn to it, but it’s there. This takes us to the finale, where Mike’s goodbye to Will is oddly quick for friends as close as they were supposed to be. Mike expresses worry that Will would move on and replace him, and Will reassures him that such a thing would never happen. I like how they had Mike smile perhaps his most genuine smile of the season here, but it still felt odd. When they hug outside right before the end, it’s again quick and not indicative of the emotion that should be there. Will seems to linger in the hug a bit, but Mike staggers away to Eleven. Mike’s attention seems to be solely on Eleven as the Byers leave, though he glances back at the house that he shouldn’t really associate with her. The final scene is a near perfect mirror of Season 1 when he thought Will was dead. It was confusing, possibly intentionally so, but why? 

Mr. Clark brings up apophenia when speaking with Joyce. It’s the tendency for humans to spot patterns where there are none. As humans, we like for there to be explanations for everything. There are no coincidences, we just haven’t figured out how things fit together. Part of me wonders if this whole line of conversation was targeted at fans, such as myself, who read too deeply into Mike and Will’s relationship, and possibly Will’s possibly homosexuality. I could understand how it could be used to cast doubt on Joyce’s fears. However, it ends up having no real bearing on the plot, as Joyce is relatively quickly shown to be correct in her suspicions. 

In the end, I’m left to wonder if this whole idea of Will being gay, and possibly Mike and Will being subtextually written as a couple, was simply a case of apophenia. My empathy for Will and identification with him could have caused me to misinterpret things to fit my own personal experiences and unfulfilled adolescent wishes. The dissonance caused by what I thought and what I’m now seeing is what is causing my anger and disappointment. It’s having me relive what I felt so long ago where all I wanted was to see a boy like me happy on TV or in movies. I thought this was going to be what I never had, but, though we still have Season 4 yet to come, it looks like it was simply a case of seeing what we wanted to see. Still, the way they did it reeks of gay-baiting, and I feel used.

[kyloren]

Mileven post-S2 fanfiction recommendation list: PART II

This is a follow-up part II to the first Mileven recommendation list I made. I actually haven’t finished going through the entire Mileven tag on ao3, but as soon as I power through another good chunk of it, I’ll probably do another part of the rec list. If your fanfic isn’t featured, apologies. Message me and we’ll amend that grievance in the next rec list instalment. 

* marks the ongoing stories. 

canon: 

even outdoor rpgs in the sun have rules!* by christah88: ““It’s summer!” Dustin called over his shoulder, converting a deep lunge to a leapfrog. “The sun is shining, it’s hot but not too hot, we’re with all our friends, we don’t have to go to school, we’re young and we’re free!” He stood up and threw out his arms. “Why aren’t you guys running around screaming?!” They looked at each other. “He actually — you know, I think he actually has a point,” Will said, a bit shellshocked.” [This is the funniest fic I have ever read. Ever. Read it.] 

devil’s in the backseat by ceruleanstorm: “Mike Wheeler is not a bad boy, but when he comes to school in a leather jacket, it’s the only thing anyone can talk about. Eleven knows something is up — if only he would stop avoiding her long enough for her to ask. Max, Dustin, and Lucas may have a gambling problem, and Will’s caught in the middle of it all, stuck keeping everyone’s secrets.” 

promises to keep* by AriaCessair: “Unconsciously, the promises make their way into their lives. In the end, it is what keeps them together.” 

watching through windows, you’re wondering if i’m okay by elsaclack: “The aftermath of the group’s collective brush with the Mind Flayer and his army.” 

and i feel life for the very first time by quinnking: ““I wanted her to have something special,” he says, his voice rumbling. “To welcome ‘85 in with… people.” “With people,” Joyce repeats with a chuckle. “You mean with people who love her?”” 

paladin vs witch by Someone_else_before: “El loves Mike. Mike loves El. Kali has… concerns. On a visit to Hawkins, El’s big sister starts feeling protective and comes up with a few simple tests to make sure Mike is as good a guy as everyone says he is. The tests aren’t exactly ethical, but since when has that ever stopped Kali before?” 

let your heart be light by evenhisfacewasanalias: “Takes place after the Snow Ball, with Mike introducing El to a few holiday traditions.” 

smart things by Strange_Archivist: “Nancy reflects on love, the importance of female friends, and staying true to oneself.” 

babysitters club by SmoothFluffle: “Mike and El (and Holly) as babysitters.” 

but we could be safer for just one day* by dragonyfox: “See, the thing is, they figured they were done. Done with monsters, done with baseball bats embedded with nails, done with lighting things that are trying to kill them on fire, done with worrying about their people. Things go back to normal.” 

like a distant star* by Someone_else_before: “Now that Mike knows El is alive, he’s not going to let even the scariest police chief in the world get in the way of seeing her again.” 

i am small, and needy by kittenCorrosion: “As El adjusts to life in Hawkins, she dreads the impending trial known as “school”. Mike knows just what to do, as usual, and comforts her.” 

stringe il cuore della stella morente by shipwrecks: “Months go by. Years go by. Everybody else remembers her only as a hero, there when they needed her. He shakes the core of a dying star.” 

i’m not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance with you by topangamatthews: “Mike Wheeler is not El’s boyfriend. So why is he so jealous of the boy who’s trying to be? (In which Mike Wheeler is an idiot and waits too long.)” 

+ its sequel: and suddenly you’re mine* by topangamatthews: “There is nothing stranger than dating in high school. (A collection of one-shots of Mike and Eleven through their high school years, hand in hand.)” 

july, july* by IrisVioletta: “Eleven adjusts to her new life, in her new family (now a life-spanning collection of oneshots.)” 

senior year by serendipitous_rambles: “Senior Year is almost at an end which means College is right around the corner. El is still unsure and confused about what she wants to do when she graduates and it feels like everyone else is moving on with their lives. But when Mike gets some news, it could mean heartbreak.” 

fake it ‘til you make it by TheMikeWheelers (jasongracefully): “Mike and El figured they would just mess with their friends a bit, they could get back at them for all the years of teasing. But fake dating never works out so easily.” 

l-o-v-e in hawkins by JoMo3: “A 5-part Mileven/Jancy Valentine fic.” 

alternative universe: 

speechless* by BimeyMooMimey: “A new girl comes to Hawkins, and the entire town takes notice. Little does Mike Wheeler know that she’s about to turn his life upside-down...without even saying a word.” 

survive the tide* by richiewheeler (jormaperalta): “After being rescued from a foster home run by a horrible man, “Eleven” is adopted by Chief Jim Hopper and tries to make Hawkins her home. But the schoolchildren are mean and she’s having a tough time fitting in, plus she needs a job for the summer. Then, she gets an opportunity to babysit Holly Wheeler, and finds her life entwined in AV Club President Mike Wheeler’s life as he navigates his last summer before he graduates from Hawkins High. As they start a summer romance, Eleven’s past starts to catch up with her as Mike’s future slams into his present. Can they survive the summer? Can their relationship?” No Supernatural AU. 

everybody talks* by hannahberrie: “What was he supposed to say? ‘Hey, so, I saw you looking kinda lonely over here, and I thought I’d come sit by you, for no apparent reason. Yeah, I know, it’s weird. Yeah, I’m kinda a total wasteoid.’” an 80’s High School AU featuring punk!Eleven and nerd!Mike. 

don’t stop believin’ by hoars: “In a world inspired by Dungeons and Dragons, the party comes to terms with their classes.” Magical Realism AU. 

wrong house by richiewheeler (jormaperalta): “The Party has a plan to egg Troy’s house on Halloween, but they accidentally get Chief Hopper’s instead.” No Supernatural AU. 

years that have gone, and years that will come by rileyhart: “Mike Wheeler has been able to feel his soulmate for as long as he can remember, and he’s been attempting to find her ever since. And he’s finally about to find her, after all those years of searching.” Soulmate AU where you are born with ability to feel the other’s emotions and pain. 

miles from nowhere* by kittenCorrosion: “Mike Wheeler and his friends really just want their band to catch a break so they can hit it big. But the week long road trip to a battle of the bands in the middle of nowhere gets complicated when his sister’s rival band shows up, one of his band mates gets tangled in a dark force, and the girl he starts falling for along the way turns out to have a dangerous secret.” Band AU. 

unpack your heart by mysterytwin: “They say home is where your heart is, and sometimes it takes a while to find exactly where that is.” Soulmate AU. 

+ its prequel: beneath the stars came falling on our heads by mysterytwin: “Mike tries to figure out the beginning, the middle, and the end of his story with Eleven. Mike tries to figure out the beginning, the middle, and the end of his story with Eleven.” Soulmate AU. 

ineffable* by princesspret: “An alternative universe where Mike Wheeler meets Eleven, “Jane Hopper,” in 1989. Unfortunately, he’s a little irritable, irrational, and rebellious but she loves him all the same.” bad-boy!Mike AU no-one asked for, but secretly kinda wished for. 

the place i call home* by notreserenade: “If one was to ask Mike Wheeler’s parents whether their son had a girlfriend, they’d scoff. Awkward, lanky Mike speaking to a girl? That’s ridiculous. But little did they know, though, that their son was very much in love with a girl. A girl of very few words. A girl with very curly hair. A girl… whose heart was as fragile as the raw emotion one gets during a sunset. A girl that — to Mike, was like no-one he had ever met.” No Supernatural AU. 

crossover: 

lionhearted (we’ll make this right)* by bottlefullofarsenic: “Normalcy should be easy to obtain. After all, they closed the gate, they defeated the monster, right? Life should go back to normal. If only it was that simple.” Stranger Things x It (2017) Crossover. 

curiosity door* by bananannabeth: “The Ghost Riders’ dimension isn’t the only one with portals into Beacon Hills.” Stranger Things x Teen Wolf Crossover. 

kingdom come deliverance by TheFlirtMeister: ““You musn’t—” Mike kneels down in front of her, Endleofan cheeping in his ear, nibbling on the lobe. “You can’t touch other people’s dæmons.” “Dæmons?” The girl repeats. “Oh brother.” Lucas says. “You don’t know what a dæmon is?”” Stranger Things x Dæmon Fusion. 

the upside down games* by peraltiagoisland: “Mike Wheeler lives in the Victor’s Village, thanks to his sister Nancy who won the games when she was 14 years old, allowing the Wheelers to live in the lap of luxury — or as luxurious as living in District 12 can get. Sadly, having a sister as a victor doesn’t protect Mike from the reaping. It also doesn’t protect him from getting picked to represent District 12 in the 83rd Hunger Games. Oh, and the thing about the arena that year? It becomes another dimension at night. It becomes the Upside Down.” Stranger Things x Hunger Games Fusion. 

+ bonus: wherein Steve Harrington is a good Team Mom™: 

that’s what friends are for by jibberjabber599: “It’s this action that seems to make his presence a welcome one when Dustin drags him around, even though he’d like to remind the little rugrats that he’s the one who got them out of that hole and saved their lives. Steve doesn’t really have a reference point when it comes to being a big brother—he’s an only child, never really willingly hung out with anyone younger than him—but he’s pretty sure it must feel a little something like this.” 

crazy or impressive* by WitchWithWifi: “Steve all but adopts five middle schoolers, their weird telekinetic friend, and all the crazy shit they come with.” 

the ache for home lives in all of us (a safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned) by Dontfloatthe100: “The six times Steve Harrington was a mom to the kids, and the one time he didn’t have to be.” 

steve harrington’s guide to parenting* by untuneduke: “The adventures of Steve and his 6 adopted children (and the rest of their family).” 

this is home* by PatchworkMedley: “The Party realise that maybe Steve is worth more than just driving a car and welding a nail driven bat. And Steve realises that when five pairs of eyes are giving you that puppy look, you don’t stand a chance. Now if only he had those looks when dealing with Hopper…” 

.

.

guys, you know I’m gonna be pumping out these mileven fic recs until I feel like I’ve read every single fic in the ao3 tag, right? oh, god, what I have committed myself to? stay tuned for the next instalment. 

UPDATE: part III is out. 

[jackie-says-stuff]

Stranger Things s1 TheoryRant

​​SPOILERS below:.....

THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING - ...SPOILERS BELOW:......

This is the first time in a long time that I've had a show/movie theory - they don't usually have the same depth as books do - so I hope this show continues with the mindf*ck theory thing as the seasons progress.

So, here goes:

I think El is the monster. Literally: she *is* the Demogorgon. Whenever she goes into the Upside Down, it's a clear room with black reflective/watery floor - nothing in it except what she's looking for. But after the gateway opens, something that she is responsible for doing, suddenly it's the magic decay world - for everyone except El.

Lucas says she's the monster, and she doesn't deny it. When she's with Mike, she tells him, "I am the monster." When she and Lucas make up, she still doesn't deny it, and only says, "friends don't lie". After a beat she says that she created the gate, and the two could be taken together, but I think they're separate sentences/ideas. 

As El becomes more "human", the monster becomes stronger, kills and kidnaps more people, and opens more mini gateways of its own. It could be her growing more socialized, but it's probably that she's been unconsciously feeding it her anger/hate/etc., making it stronger, until it starts acting of its own accord. I seriously doubt it's a coincidence that the day she creates the gate, creeper Papa gives her a potted plant, and the Demogorgon has a plant head. 

I also don't think it's a coincidence that Will survived when the "monster" first showed up. He's a kid, her age, when the Demogorgon is still mostly her. It connects to the most outcast/lonely kid nearby, who likes drawing and lives a lot more in his imagination than others, and it doesn't kill him. She (as the monster) just brings him in, and we see her shortly thereafter. It's only after it grows further apart from her personality that it starts killing people... or does it?

Correct me if I'm wrong here, as I'm trying to remember for certain, but I *think* the only time we ever actually see the Demogorgon _kill_ anything, it's when it's killing her "Papa" at the end. All of the other times, it chases people, or drags people into the Upside Down where people may die there on their own (i.e., Barb), but I don't think we actually see it kill -anyone- else. 

We see it feeding on a deer, which Nancy says looks like it was hit by a car - not that it was attacked by an animal. Barb probably tripped over a root or succumbed to the toxic air. Will had the "breather tube" in, which could just as easily have been trying to revive him (see: Demonreach/Dresden) or acclimate him to the toxic air so he could survive on his own, especially since Will looks more plump/healthy/warm when Joyce and Hopper find him than when he was laying in Castle Byers by himself. 

Since "Papa" basically created who El became - killing machine and all - through at least one generation back of LSD science experiments, it would stand to reason that the Demogorgon would want to kill the one person that caused it (El) so much pain. All of the others seem to be attacking in self-defense or to protect its food, which seems to already have been killed before the monster ever got there.

Back to the duality - 

When El is "killing" the monster, she's reaching her right hand towards it. Mirroring her, it's reaching its right hand towards her - even though it technically shouldn't be able to move at all - in the exact same motion/position that her hand is using. 

When it "dies", it's the decay that starts evaporating off of it, to reveal the same type of material and texture as the mini gate. Then, instead of it just evaporating away, Voldemort style, she's sucked into it, with a cloud of disappearing decay... and instead of her collapsing on the floor, she vanishes into it.

I think it split off from her personality/consciousness while she had her "wizard powers" growing, and started taking on a life of its own. To "kill" it, I think she had to reconcile it with her personality and that she's currently doing that in the Upside Down right now.

I think the box in the woods where Hopper leaves the Eggos in the end is the same place in the real world where he found the Aliens-style hatched egg in the Upside Down. (And, yes, I've noted the similarity between Eggos and The Egg.) Speaking of... 

Hopper, he's way too smart to be sucked in by Evil Big Government and to just be complacently working for them, whether or not he gave his word to do so. I think he's working to destroy them from the inside and to close the gateway for good.

And, in regards to (the number) Eleven, at first I figured that there were ten other mind control kids running around there somewhere, but now I'm seriously doubting it. 

Symbolism: eleven has the significance of being a doubly strong number - it's the prime number one, doubled, doubling the vibration power of the number one. Therefore 11 is twice as strong as 1, as far as numbers go.

El regularly bleeds from her nose when she's doing her "jedi magic", bleeds from her ears when she does more, and bleeds from her eyes when she does even more than that. If any other kid with similar powers had tried doing half the things she did while at the facility, keeping in mind the symbolism of 11 and it meaning that she's probably twice as strong as they were, they probably would have died by now. 

Will's mysterious slug cough - I'm torn here on whether or not he's infected by the Upside Down, (and may potentially be next season's Bad?), or if that was the way "the monster" was acclimating his lungs to the air/environment (see: Hitchhiker/translation fish). I think I'll have to watch it again before I can make a decision on this, and that probably won't happen for at least a few months. I did some googling on this to see if anyone else had the same theory. There was one reddit post briefly touching on it, but the internet (from my quick search this morning) has otherwise been very quiet on the idea of El literally being the Demogorgon/monster.

Terry: I did see a suggestion that El's mother, Terry Ives, is the monster. That's possible, since she's basically a vegetable right now, but I think the symbolism of mother/child is even stronger than that. 

I am still convinced that El is the Demogorgon for all the reasons shown above - there's far more evidence that way than there is for it to be Terry. But I think her mom's mental/life force is what is giving life to the environment in the Upside Down. 

In other words, she's _literally_ the vegetable. Paralleling Terry carrying/feeding and giving birth to "Jane" (El), her mind is helping feed the Upside Down, which gave birth (via egg) to the Demogorgon.

And, all of that being said, if I'm wrong, I'm going to be really disappointed because it could have been so much cooler.

Thoughts during rewatch:

Just restarted Season One to refresh my memory before Season Two drops, and I'd completely forgotten about the part at the beginning where Will admits the Demogorgon gets him.

In the beginning, they're all playing a campaign that *Mike* spent two weeks creating. And the Demogorgon gets *Will*. The Upside-Down seems focused on Will, but did he get taken there by his own bad roll - possibly literally? Eleven does get very close to the group via Mike. Maybe all of this isn't a coincidence due to where Will lives, and maybe it's created directly from Mike somehow?

Final thoughts after rewatch:

Said by the boys during their D&D session at the end of the last episode:

"The campaign was way too short." "It was ten hours!" "But it doesn't make any sense." "It makes sense.." "Uh, no, what about the lost knight?" "And the proud princess?" "And those weird flowers in the cave?" "I don't know..."

Anyone else think this is referencing the loose threads at the end of Season One? Will is the Lost Knight. Eleven is the Proud Princess? And the "weird flowers" is all the weird organic growth in The Upside-Down? Part two here. 

[hacktagmedia]

Omarosa says Trump is a racist who uses N-word – and claims there’s tape to prove it

Former Apprentice contestant and ex-White House adviser writes in new memoir that she witnessed ‘truly appalling things’

Former Apprentice contestant and ex-White House adviser writes in new memoir that she witnessed ‘truly appalling things’

Donald Trump is a “racist” who has used the “N-word” repeatedly, Omarosa Manigault Newman, once the most prominent African American in the White House, claims in a searing memoir.

The future US president was caught on mic uttering the taboo racial slur “multiple times” during the making of his reality TV show The Apprentice and there is a tape to prove it, according to Manigault Newman, citing three unnamed sources.

Trump has been haunted from around the time of his election in 2016 by allegations that outtakes from the reality TV show exist in which he is heard saying the N-word and using other offensive language.

In her book, Unhinged, a copy of which was obtained by the Guardian ahead of its publication next week, the former Apprentice participant insists that the reports are true, although she does not say she heard him use the word herself.

She also claims that she personally witnessed Trump use racial epithets about the White House counselor Kellyanne Conway’s husband George Conway, who is half Filipino. “Would you look at this George Conway article?” she quotes the president as saying. “F**ing FLIP! Disloyal! Fucking Goo-goo.”

Both flip and goo-goo are terms of racial abuse for Filipinos.

Critics have previously questioned Manigault Newman’s credibility and are likely to accuse her of seeking revenge against the administration after her abrupt dismissal last December.

At the time, she writes, she felt a “growing realization that Donald Trump was indeed a racist, a bigot and a misogynist. My certainty about the N-word tape and his frequent uses of that word were the top of a high mountain of truly appalling things I’d experienced with him, during the last two years in particular.”

Recalling her sudden and unceremonious departure, she writes: “It had finally sunk in that the person I’d thought I’d known so well for so long was actually a racist. Using the N-word was not just the way he talks but, more disturbing, it was how he thought of me and African Americans as a whole.”

Trump hosted NBC’s The Apprentice from 2004-2015 before running for the presidency and still likes to laud his high ratings.

His insurgent election campaign was rocked in October 2016 by the release of an Access Hollywood tape in which he bragged about grabbing women “by the pussy”. The media firestorm prompted Bill Pruitt, a producer on the first two seasons of The Apprentice, to tweet that there were “far worse” tapes of Trump behind the scenes of the show.

Further allegations emerged that Trump had used the N-word in the recordings. Then, following the New York property tycoon’s shocking victory over Hillary Clinton, the actor and comedian Tom Arnold claimed to have the video of Trump using racist language.

The White House staffer Kellyanne Conway and former aides Hope Hicks and Omarosa Manigault Newman at a press briefing last year. Photograph: Alex Wong/Getty Images

“I have the outtakes to The Apprentice where he says every bad thing ever, every offensive, racist thing ever,” Arnold told the Seattle-based radio station KIRO. “It was him sitting in that chair saying the N-word, saying the C-word, calling his son a retard, just being so mean to his own children.”

But Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, which owns the rights to the reality TV show, and its British creator, Mark Burnett, have resisted pressure to release the footage because of “various contractual and legal requirements”.

Once close to Trump, Manigault Newman was among his most high-profile supporters during the election campaign and drew a top salary of $179,700 as director of communications for the White House office of public liaison. She held her April 2017 wedding at Trump’s luxury hotel, close to the White House.

Hers is the second memoir from a former Trump administration member, following that of the ex-press secretary Sean Spicer, but it was always expected to be less adulatory. This week the Daily Beast reported that she had secretly recorded conversations with the president and “leveraged” this while seeking a book deal. On Sunday she is due to appear on NBC’s flagship political show Meet the Press.

Some commentators have struck a note of scepticism about her book. Brian Stelter, senior media correspondent at CNN, wrote in an email newsletter: “Is former ‘Apprentice’ star Omarosa Manigault-Newmana reliable source of info about the Trump White House? Buckle up for debates about that in the coming week. Because she’s about to betray Trump in a new tell-all book.”

For its part, the White House has previously dismissed criticisms from her. In February the deputy press secretary, Raj Shah, said: “Omarosa was fired three times on The Apprentice and this was the fourth time we let her go. She had limited contact with the president while here. She has no contact now.”

In the book, she recalls how in late 2016 Trump’s team held a conference call and scrambled for how to respond to the tape but it never came out. Then a source from The Apprentice contacted her and claimed to be in possession of it. Trump was in office and Manigault Newman continued to investigate. Advertisement

She continues: “By that point, three sources in three separate conversations had described the contents of this tape. They all told me that President Trump hadn’t just dropped a single N-word bomb. He’d said it multiple times throughout the show’s taping during off-camera outtakes, particularly during the first season of The Apprentice.”

Recalling that she appeared on the first season, Manigault Newman reflects: “I would look like the biggest imbecile alive for supporting a man who used that word.” She says she confided in the former White House communications director Hope Hicks, who said, “I need to hear it for myself,” and continued to ask her frequently about what progress she was making.

She believes that Hicks told the White House chief of staff, John Kelly, that Omarosa was close to getting her hands on the tape, and this gave him cause to terminate her job, though he found a different pretext.

Four months after her departure, she spoke by phone to one of her Apprentice sources. “I was told exactly what Donald Trump said – yes, the N-word and others in a classic Trump-goes-nuclear rant – and when he’s said them. During production he was miked, and there is definitely an audio track.”

Manigault Newman also recalls her interactions with Trump during the filming of The Celebrity Apprentice in late 2007 – a time when the little known Democrat Barack Obama was in the ascendent. “During boardroom outtakes, Donald talked about Obama often. He hated him. He never explained why, but now I believe it was because Obama was black.”

In January, Trump was widely condemned for reportedly dismissing Haiti, El Salvador and African nations as “shitholes”. Manigault Newman describes a similar experience that appears to support that account. When she told Trump that she was going to Haiti, she writes, he demanded: “Why did you choose that shitty country as your first foreign trip?”

He added: “You should have waited until the confirmations were done and gone to Scotland and played golf at [his course] Turnberry.”

In another damning passage, she describes his “broken outlook” and how “the bricks in his racist wall kept getting higher”, wondering if he did “want to start a race war”. She adds: “The only other explanation was that his mental state was so deteriorated that the filter between the worst impulses of his mind and his mouth were completely gone.”

The book comes days after Trump faced renewed allegations of racism over his persistent descriptions of the congresswoman Maxine Waters as having a “low IQ” and CNN journalist Don Lemon as “the dumbest man on television”, as well as criticism of the basketball star LeBron James. This weekend marks the first anniversary of the white supremacist march in Charlottesville, Virginia, that erupted in deadly violence; the president claimed there were “very fine people on both sides”.

Elsewhere in Unhinged, published by Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Manigault Newman takes aim at Trump’s sexism. Recalling more outtakes from The Apprentice, she says he asked personal questions about female contestants such as “What do you think she’s like in bed?” and “Do you think she’s sexy?” He allegedly asked male contestants: “Who you think would be better in bed between the two of them?”

Asked about the allegations in Manigault Newman’s book, White House press secretary Sarah Sanders said: “Instead of telling the truth about all the good President Trump and his administration are doing to make America safe and prosperous, this book is riddled with lies and false accusations.

“It’s sad that a disgruntled former White House employee is trying to profit off these false attacks, and even worse that the media would now give her a platform, after not taking her seriously when she had only positive things to say about the president during her time in the administration.”

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[kaypeace21]

Do you have any meta/theory on the significance of the cleric/paladin d&d characters vs wizard/dungeon master. Is maybe one more Will and Mike's relationship and the other their role in the story as a whole? Sorry if you already mentioned this and this is redundant

Yeah, I’ve talked about it before. But why not talk about it again? It’s been a while- and Will’s recently published journal (plus st tweets) added more to this symbolism

The Duffers used Will and Mike’s d&d classes to say they’re soulmates! XD

Will in all 3 seasons identifies as a wizard- he even writes on the mixtape he makes “will the wise- wizard mix” (which is a different class than clerics). Even in s1 Will’s castle byer’s password was “rhadaghast” a lothr wizard.

But in s2 Mike (the paladin) says that Will is a cleric. Meaning this reflects how Mike (alone) actually feels about Will. In d&d, they have similar moral values, powers, and generally need and depend on each other in the lore of d&d.  Mike says Will is a cleric,despite Will still identifying as a wizard in s3, since it shows how deeply Mike actually feels about Will.

It shows he views Will as one of the only people who understands him and views him as a his moral compass 

“ strength of conviction gave many paladins a sense of common fellowship but did not always endear them to others. In many cases, paladins did not get along quite as well with other non-paladin adventurers, with the exception of clerics with similar beliefs.”

“A Paladin tries to hold to the highest standards of conduct, but even the most virtuous Paladin is fallible. Sometimes the heat of emotion causes a Paladin to transgress his or her oath (of honesty, courage, compassion, honor ,and duty). A paladin who has broken a vow typically seeks absolution from a cleric who shares his or her faith or from another paladin of the same order…

“The paladin might spend an all-night vigil in prayer as a sign of penitence, or undertake a fast or similar act of self-denial.”

“After a rite of confession and forgiveness, the paladin starts fresh.”

“Using the ‘lay on hands’ power, paladins can grant their comrades (or themselves) additional resilience with a touch of their hands and a short prayer, though they must give their own strength to do so.”

And Mike calls El a “mage” which wasn’t even a class in D&D (in the 80s)- A line he says to Max about zoomer (who he doesn’t like) …so… how much do you want to bet Mike was the one who made him and Will matching by giving him and Will “lawful good” (since this is writen in his starter kit). And he already ignored the fact Will is a wizard. 

But in Will’s recently published cannon journal he also does this- he keeps Lucas (Ranger) , Dustin (Bard) and his own character (a wizard) …but he changes Mike to a cleric !!!

Because Clerics have the strongest of healing abilities

Mike thinks Will brings out the best in him. And Will thinks Mike as someone who helps him heal. So they both call each other clerics.

D&D also represents their romantic relationship

when they fight in s3 Mike says “I’m not trying to be a jerk. We’re not kids anymore. I mean…what did you think? That we’d never get girlfriends. Play games for the rest of our lives?” And the truth is that’s actually what Mike wants- which is why he was upset about Will trying to give away the d&d game . And why he still has all of Will’s d&d pictures on his basement’s wall (which he’s kept on his wall for years- despite removing the old poster from the wall). And during Hopper’s speech, when it pans to Mike , Hopper says “I miss playing games every night.”

* He also caresses Will’s  d&d drawing- when he thinks he’s dead- and has a binder filled with every d&d drawing Will has ever given him.

 In the first ep - Will  admits he rolls a 7 (since he couldn’t lie to Mike)-  and in the last ep of s1 (they show us Mike smiling at Will right before Will rolls a 14- since they’re 7s together.) Mike even apologizes to EL saying “sorry I sound like a 7 year old.” When talking about how all 3 can play with toys & right after talking about Will visiting to play. and mentions Will’s rolls as a way to convince Lucas to help him look for him.And Mike even mentions Will rolls as a way to convince Lucas to help him look for him in the first ep.

Mike in the last ep in s1 ,writes a d&d story for Will.  in ep one Will tells Mike “it was a 7, the demogorgan it got me.”At the end of the season Mike writes a whole story of him and his friends killing a 7 headed monster, and showing the decapitated head of the monster to king Tristan (Will). Similar to how at the hospital he tells Will to not worry cause “it’s dead now”. This is right after Will rolls a 14 (cause Mike and Will are 7s together). And Mike who is a fan of starwars has King Tristan give them medals after killing the monster. Cause he wants Will/king tristan (instead of Leia -a girl) to present him with medals and be his romantic love interest (and praise him for being a hero)…

In the pilot, they even say Will uses d&d to “escape” his insecurities about his sexuality “like mike” & Mike uses d&d to “escape” his insecurities about not having a gf.  * And no, dustin & Lucas didn’t use d&d to “escape” anything- in the pilot script.

Mike angrily yells “El’s not stupid. It’s not my fault you don’t like girls” to himself- cause Will hit a nerve when saying mileven was ruining their friendship - because a part of Mike is trying to use El to put distance between him and Will . Dustin in s1 foreshadows the fight, saying “all you want to do is spent time with her… and you know it and he knows it. And nobody says anything until you’re yelling at eachother like goblins with intelligence scores of zero.” (Another  d&d ref/ ‘love makes you stupid’ ref.).

And also, maybe a part of him resents how Will is making him feel. So he says this whole speech , in the garage, to himself - to keep his romantic feelings for Will under control ( expecting Will to agree with the heteronormative statement). Which is why he was so shocked when Will (who he assumes is straight) and he expects would agree -  instead says “yeah, I guess I did. I really did.” (about never getting gfs but instead being together for the rest of their lives). 

And the  “crazy together” scene (which is romantic since both Mike & Flo both equate love making you ‘crazy’. Flo says “ only love makes you crazy and that damn stupid”). And the ‘crazy together’ scene also has a zoom-in on Mike’s d&d game.

(x)(x)

Mike and Will both love each other (and El is just confused). He wants to be with Will- but he’s scared. The Hopper dialogue even says “Lately, I feel like you’re pulling away from me or something? I miss playing board games every night.” Mike was upset when Will gives the game up- but Will says “I’ll just play with yours when I come back… if we still want to play?” In other words- the ball is in Mike’s court- if he wants Will, he has to initiate it. Because Will assumes he was “stupid” to think he had a chance. Mike is also acting “stupid” because he’s pushing away Will despite loving him, and hurting him in the process (the opposite of a cleric).

But Mike in s4 will admit his feelings to Will… since after Will says this line, Mike asks

“Yeah, but what happens if you want to join another party? ” (find someone else (‘another’) before that- the other ‘species’, or just someone else: girl, guy or otherwise?”

But Will decides to make himself vulnerable and just be honest,  and shyly admits “Not possible” (much to Mike’s happiness)

so yes- this tweet is about byler

They even answered the question of ‘what makes Mike crazy’ with one’ joke’ response - of Will asking about d&d. And in a separate post made fun of mileven by ending it with “can we just play d&d?”

And when, Mike and Will open up to each other about their mental-health issues,  that’s when they both agree that no matter what they’ll be together- “crazy together”. It’s a double entendre - they’re crazy cause they’re in love- but also “crazy” and will be “together” to help each other through their issues.  This theme is double-downed on in Will’s cannon journal (where it’s established “crazy together” is shown to be Mike & Will’s thing- not mileven’s). As Mike tells Will to tell him when he’s having ptsd episodes since- they're “crazy together”.

*Will draws Mike’s d&d character next to the sticky-note. And we also see throughout Will’s whole journal- Mike’s d&d character is always by Will’s (d&d character’s side). And on the cover of his journal Will ONLY draws his and Mike’s character- cause they’re “crazy together”.

Mike specifically says to get him when he’s having ptsd episodes about the mf (which represent Will’s se*ually abusive father- theory here/ here).

That’s what love is - like Flo said only love makes you “crazy” and “stupid” and this is only applicable to byler.  Mike and Will love and  bring out the best in each other-  heal each other. Being “crazy together” to Mike is about being selfless and wanting the best for you partner’s happiness no matter what- with mileven it was simply a way to excuse his poor behavior to El (under the guise of ‘love’).

 For all the supernatural stuff to stop , Will has to face his trauma and heal. This involves having a strong support  (of friends and family) and Will learning to not hate himself any longer, because of his past abuse and sexuality. And to stop correlating his love (for Mike) with his past abuse/trauma (represented by the monsters. And Mike and Will have to embrace their love for each other. And let go of their shame. When Will ‘dies’ in s1, Mike hugs his mom ,and  Heroes plays, and the lyrics are “and we kiss as though nothing could fall and the shame… was on the other side.” In s1 the term “other side” was used to describe the upside down. So it’s saying Will’s shame relating to Lonnie will eventually be on the other side, and so Mike and Will kiss ‘as though nothing could fall’. In Will’s journal he even draws Mike’s d&d character again with the caption “never Kenny Roggers”. This is because Jonathan asks ‘who would you rather  be friends with David bowie or Kenny roggers?”. And Heroes was originally sung by David Bowie- making the byler hint of this being ‘their song’, more apparent. The cannon Will-comic is even titled  the “other side” and Mike is on the opposite end (‘the other side’ waiting for Will who is trapped in the upside down looking up at the imposing figure of the demogorgan). The demorgogan in blue light and mike in opposing red light. The monsters Will created are based on the d&d game and his prior abuse at the hands of lonnie. But byler’s love is also represented by d&d- and thus the only way to stop it.

gif credit: cath-avery