#and if i dont in time then i get debilitating pain despite the meds.

[massyworld]

Magnesium can help with restless leg syndrome symptoms too. My dad uses a cream version on his calves.

I will also say, make sure you're getting at least 20% of your daily calories as (ideally healthy) fats, because those influence your estrogen levels, and especially make sure to have a decent caloric intake (I did not, for the better part of this past year, due to reflux/PPI related issues making me drastically restrict my diet, and my period straight up stopped. until my calories increased again)

Also, something that reduces your pain tolerance is buildup of arachidonic acid which happens from consuming too much omega 6 fats in proportion with omega 3 fats. Ideally the max is a 4:1 ratio of omega 6 to 3, but the more omega 3 the better. Because flaxseed has more omega 3's than 6s (fairly uncommon IMO), if you sprinkle it on stuff, it'll improve the ratio for that food. So you can eat something like 2 avocados if you have the right amount of flaxseed with it, and your skin won't break into any inflammatory state (like mine did when I ate peanuts everyday (they have no omega 3's and like a crapton of omega 6, so it's just a recipe for BAD bodily inflammation) or increased my avocados to 2 daily without adding any flaxseed. Here is a link to a chart, and in the top comment is a link on how much flaxseed to add to some of the nuts on the chart to balance out.

I got rather off topic, but basically stan flaxseed ✨

Pre-menstrual depression is always depicted as like "He He! I had a box of icecream bars and cried while watching the Titanic!" But in reality, it's more like, "I'm standing the edge of an abyss. There is nothing good inside of me, I'm filled with rage and desperation."

It's crazy that being told how to deal with that is never a part of anyone's menstrual sex education.

[confessions-official]

i have chronic pain. lately, its been getting better (i got a few hours pain free with some new meds a few weeks ago) but last week i had a terrible 10/11 day streak in terrible pain, so i missed school a lot.

i was taliking to my friend about how this other friend didnt go to school, she asked why he didnt come and i said that he told me he didnt feel like it. she then said something along the lines "like you" and i got really mad. she knows i have chronic pain, she knew the past days it got so bad i almost end up in the hospital and i already told her that it makes me feel invalidated when she says that stuff (its not the first time, but we had a talk about it after i got tired of multiple accusitations me of being lazy and taking too much prescibed pain meds), so i said "i was in a lot of pain, you know i hate missing schools, i wouldnt miss just because, i was feeling really bad" (it takes me a lot to catch up and talked about it with her). she then said "yeah right" and scoffed, like she didnt believe.

im so tired of this shit. im in pain 24/7, i always put a happy face and do my 100% but that doesnt mean but im not in pain. and the one time, the one time i take the much needed rest to recover, she calls me lazy and that i dont go to school bc "i feel like it"

maybe im still mad she never apologized for all the other times she got pissy about me not going to school (despite her doing the same without the whole medical reason). and saying "it would make me worse to take the pain meds, it was proven medically" when i take only what the doctor tells me and always leaving the 8 hour period between doses, and when i told her she just keep insisting i should not take so many meds. like do you want me to be in even more pain i already am? sometimes i already bedridden of the pain and you want me to stop the only healthy recommend by professional solution? but then when i feel bad (which hehe, thats exactly what would happen more often without the meds) and take time to rest, then im lazy? im lazy? im not the one falling half the classes bc i never do the homework or study for tests, despite being the one that is in pain all the time. she never apologized for any of this, she never changed, she always dismissed when i told her to stop.

i decided it to stop speaking to her. we talked about this before, more than once, if words dont make it work, then there will be no words. i know its toxic but im really tired of fighting for being believed of my debilitating illness.

yet, today at school, i talked to her like nothing had happen. i dont think she realized how much it hurt what she said yesterday, how much it hurts me when she says stuff like yesterday. and i cant even take distance. i couldnt even asked her to stop saying it.

she didnt even realized i was mad in the first place. i couldnt stay visibly mad at her for her to realize. i couldnt ask her to stop (again) bc i was too afraid she would keep invalidating me like she always does when i try to talk about my illness. and i really want to stop being her friend. but i cant. schools works in close groups, same 28 students for every single class. we became friends bc no one else talked to us and we are partners in everything and we cant change partners, and even if we could, no one would switch with me.

i cant stop being with her. i cant talk with her without her dismissing me. i dont know what to do

 

[isekaisyouwithmyforearmlaser]

emergency donation post. if you have the time please read for context.

please send donations to my cashapp $pikman2

hi i know i dont have tons of followers but im hoping i can get some circulation because my family is in some really dire circumstances rn.

ive always been against making donations posts because i always figured others had it worse than me, but now that theres children involved im desperate and im selling my own things/ working overtime just for cash. my moms wife, D, cheated on my mom with my moms boss after being married for 6 years with 2 kids, and up and left without trying to talk about it at all. After originally kicking us out, she realized she couldnt afford the house thats under her name alone, and let my mom and the kids and my nana live there temporarily. our name isnt on anything, and if my family gets kicked out again theyd be homeless. right now my older brother, my nana, and my two younger siblings- both elementary school children- are dependent on my mom. my mom recently lost her job because she couldnt work under her boss anymore and the entire work place was extremely bad for her mental health. D and her new GF then sent their work friend to go "spy" on my mom while she was out with her friends (D started doing coke again around last year so her behavior is erratic) and the guy who they sent physically assaulted my mom. my mom already has prexisting injuries on her back and a past broken wrist from a few different abusive exes she had years ago, AND on top of that just last year my mom got in a nearly fatal car accident that fucked up her back more, and the assault made these injuries incredibly worse.

my mom (pictured above) has been prescribed new medication, but no longer has insurance because she lost her job. she works retail now which is extremely taxing on her body. my mom lives in texas and has applied many times to state assistance programs but she keeps getting denied. The house isnt in my moms name, so she has no proof of address to allow her to get food from any nearby foodshelves. after the accident my mom has really bad fears of driving and cant drive long distance without her anxiety becoming debilitating.

my brother recently got sick and is getting tested again. my nana has social security but its only 900 a month, really only 700 after buying her meds. my mom and i are the only ones working.

below are the some of the bills my mom has to try to earn in one month on 11 dollars an hour

plus rent which is 1250 and her car insurance. currently they spend all money on bills and barely have food or hygienic products most of the time.

D  hasnt been very helpful during all this, as she expects my mom to pay  all the bills despite knowing my mom is solely responsible for the well  being of 5 other ppl rn, and despite the fact EVERYTHING is in Ds name.  unfortunately we cant really negotiate with her because she can just  kick us out and then we'd lose shelter.

TL;DR

to clarify, i live in minnesota rn, so im not asking money to help ME, but rather my immediate and closest family- 5 people, 2 children, one elderly. my moms mentally ill, has chronic pain and longlasting injuries mostly from past abusive relationships, recently got in a traumatic accident, then was assaulted by her wifes friend after her wife of 6 years suddenly left after her affair was exposed. she just got prescribed a bunch of new meds that she cant afford but needs in order to keep working, all the while needing to pay off all the bills which comes to a total of about 2,000. there are 5 people in the house- my mom, my nana, my brother and two children. they are all constantly at risk of homelessness, they barely have any food at the house, and because nothing is in there name they cant show proof of address which is required at all food shelves locally. my mom cant drive far because of her anxiety due to her past accident and shes the only licensed driver in the house.

right now ive stopped school completely to work full time at my current job in retail. im trying to find a new job that pays more so that we can start saving money so they can move somewhere affordable and no longer have to deal with D. ive been doing this since the beginning of 2020 and if youve been following me you know i also stopped my own HRT and meds just so my family can eat, which has basically fucked my mental health incredibly, as im already suicidal and have been on and off meds/therapy/inhospital since early highschool. i skip days without eating and only do it when i need to so that my family can have more money. basically, ive exhausted everything i can to help and its still not enough.

Please if you can consider sending any donations directly to my cashapp $pikman2. every little bit helps, even 1 or 2 dollars can help with small groceries. thank you.

[justseveralowls]

An Update and request for advice

Hello lovely humans,

Sorry for the distance between posts as of late. Things have been a bit more than a bit difficult lately. As strange as this feels to be posting on a blog I have created with the intention to help others, I am struggling with my situation and am looking for outside perspectives. The following contains discussion of heath worries and physical illness, if that is triggering feel free to skip the post. Take care of yourselves.

So I am sick. I have been sick for quite a freaking long time but due to financial issues, abusive living situations and years of medical neglect none of my many struggles have been addressed. I have had extreme struggles with allergies (hives, food reactions and even anaphylatic responses that change and are highly unpredictable), struggles with immune function, as well as grueling and debilitating joint pain among other things. Through most of my life this was dismissed as me being ‘attention seeking’ or ‘crazy’ and eventually I learned it was safer to not say anything at all. I was a star student, dancer, active , and energetic. Bu that didn’t change anything, in fact it just made things worse.

I can’t hide the fact that I am sick any longer. My illness is chronic and is stopping me from continuing with my life as I want it. I look sick, I am loosing weight despite eating as much as I can (stomach issues and nausea complicate things) but am staying in recovery for my anorexia. Pain is bad, I struggle with stairs and exersize of any kind which is hard for working as a cleaner. I am tired all the time and can’t sleep. In short, this is grueling, and I am unbelievably scared. 

I am seeing a doctor, and getting referred to specialist after specialist, but I am struggling and afraid. I cant tell my parents they are toxic at the best of times, and my doctor won’t say more than ‘do this as soon as possible’, ‘your results are abnormal’ and ‘I’m not sure what’s going on’. She has dropped the idea of feeding tubes, gastric scoping and tests that even as a pre med student I am terrified about. I dont expect anyone to have answers or tell me whats wrong, I just thought it could be cathartic to address and useful to ask for any advice or experience an of you amazing humans have on or around this topic. 

If there is anyone with advice, answers, support or wisdom of any kind, please reach out, anythings welcome right now. To be perfectly honest what I need more than anything is a friend. 

I hope you all are doing well, I send good vibes and support as always and am trying to keep my blog active. I am so sorry for being so  distant when positivity is so important now. Stay safe and know that you aren’t alone

Jules

[bishiglomper]

3 more days until I see pain clinic! It's a good thing because fuck this shit. Its happening every day now. Despite taking meds on time.

I just got a letter yesterday saying my doctor wasnt on my insurance's payroll anymore. He's still there, they just don't cover him anymore.

Guess when it went into effect? Fucking JULY.

ITS FUCKING OCTOBER YOU BASTARDS

They said he could continue treating me for up to 90 days. I got this letter AFTER making an appointment last week. There's less than 2 weeks until that deadline so it's a goddamn good thing I already have an appointment, huh?

I still need to call the number to find out Wtf to do. Hopefully I'll still be able to get into a damn pain clinic at all.

I don't know what to expect at the appointment but whatever he gives me I just hope it'll last until I get set up again. As far as I know, hes the only pain doctor in that clinic I go to. Which is out of town to begin with...

I'm tired of bumping up the lyrica. In the 3 times Ive seen him, i started at the maximum sample dose, then x2, then double again until I got to 200mg 3x a day.

I dont even know if it did anything to begin with or if my body just simmered down at that point.

No one takes me seriously when I tell them serious shit comes and goes. Like the debilitating vertigo. Shit only flares up, what, 2x a year? Maybe? For like a month at a time but then fucks off.

It's infuriating.