#and idk... its just weird when guys hit on me in general bc i have so many issues with being wanted (however much its just a cheap hit)

[carmenlire]

I hate my job. forget all the usual complaints about people telling me they don't have inboxes while logged into gmail and the website they need to go to is actually an email address but I just.

I was helping this guy and it was just a regular interaction, with him being moderately annoying as is usual. well at the end of me scanning his papers he, out of nowhere says "wow ur so beautiful." and in my head I'm just yelling fuck!!!! because whyyyyy do men do this shit, especially when I'm at work like u r nothing but a customer to me and I will happily forget you the second I walk away. and ofc tonight my manager is working and she's like 5 feet away at the computer desk so like double fml. it's just so awkward and I feel so put on the spot and gross, you know?

well I just say thank you and take a step back (because again the interaction is done) and he doesn't take a hint but instead goes on to ask me if I have a boyfriend. I just say no and walk away.

and coworkers always say I should just lie and say yes but 1) I'm very weird about lying even as an adult and 2) something in me just resists saying I have a boyfriend so much. I'd (almost??) rather say I have a girlfriend but obviously i'm not doing that at work. idk it's almost like it feels more dishonest to say yes i have a boyfriend? but also i said no take a hint!

he didn't take a hint. he called me back over by saying he needed help with something else, which whatever, but no!! he said "u said no what does that mean. do you have a man or not" and again my manager is right there and it's so quiet in the library and i just said no again. and he pressed me AGAIN and finally i just said "i'm not having this conversation with you" and inside i was shaking? hmm that may be too much but i was just so deeply uncomfortable. and the minute i said that i feel like he got pissed-- and i saw my manager whip her head over to me. i just walked away and went to the workroom and my manager came in a few minutes later and was extremely supportive.

i just feel so gross about it all. why do men do this at work?? where i can't escape?? where my customer service rebels against the very idea of being firm or doing anything that a customer could view negatively even if rationally i know that me and my wellbeing? my sense if self? comes first (even if i know it isn't that deep).

tonight was the first time i've said no and walked away and also the first time i said point blank i'm not having this conversation. it felt good even if doing so was almost unbearably embarrassing? i was sitting in the back after my manager talked to me and i just felt. . . embarrassed.

and i KNOW this is wrong but i feel so self conscious like- do i dress provocatively at work? is it my fault? are coworkers judging me for my appearance like i'm inviting this to happen, like i want men to hit on me? i wanna ask a coworker if they think i should dress more conservatively but i was literally wearing black dress pants, a black sweater, and loafers. but were my clothes too tight? am i a complete unprofessional?

and then the whole queer thing is an entirely separate dimension. i tweet about it to vent when it happens but just-- the idea that men perceive me in such a way, especially when i am never aware of it, when i am doing nothing to cater to them, just makes me so uneasy. every time a guy hits on me at work i feel betrayed almost? like we are just customer service worker and customer. i literally dislike 99% of all people i talk to at work. and when they do this it just makes me feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me and the question of boyfriend just kinda makes my skin crawl.

[woolydemon]

I wish I was good at games bc there is shit out there like Star Control 2 that I want to be insane abt so so bad but I won't play the game since it's Anti Wooly Brain compatible (I can just tell) but ITS GOT GUYS LIKE THE SPATHI 😭😭 look at them .

[vypridae]

HOPE YOUR HEAD FEELS BETYER!! HEADACHES SUCK

anywayys requesting mori or tecchou or fyodor for the character thing [or bc you don’t need to do all of them pick and choose <3]

DOING ALL OF THEM i cant do the doodles i dont have the motivation for art rn i lied about that BUT ILL DO ALL THREE OF THEM

under a cut because these got LONG

MORI

first impression

honestly i think when i first met mori in the anime i was like oh hes sweet i like him . then it was the whole "woah port mafia boss!!!!" thing and i was like oh hes sweet and deadly i like him .

impression now

i love him soo much did you know. hes so fun hes just a silly guy . silly !!!

favorite moment

honestly the moment (from the manga specifically) thats stuck with me the most was the frame that he like, put tachihara's hd hat on his head and was like "you dropped something" it just STUCK with me

outside of canon manga stuff tho i love the little intersection in wan ep 11 that hes like "WHAT DID YOU SEND ME DAZAI ... THESE ARE ... SCARY!!!!!" like hes just so silly i love him

idea for a story

genuinely i do not think about story ideas enough to have a solid one for him but if it counts i often think about him accidentally stealing one of fukuzawa's scarves from That Era i forgot how old he was at the time . and then just keeping it . and fukuzawa finds out somehow . i love them shut up

unpopular opinion

uhhh liking mori in general FSJKHASJKHASFJKG like have you seen this fandom . 99% of the people here fucking hate mori with a passion . and just liking him is super controversial . aside from that though ive seen analyses (tending to be like "mori and pedophilia" or something along those lines) and honestly they make me feel like hes just being really uuuh whats the word. really abstract with how he says things i guess? like one in particular i remember was a word in the original manga (jap) and he said a word that means both "wife" and "thing by my side" or something like that, when theres so many different words he could have used if he wanted to be Creepy specifically. idk theres my mori opinion its so controversial i know block me if u'd like but i love him

favorite relationship

HAHA zskk . easily . love those dumbass gayasses

favorite headcanon

uuuuuh . probably trans mori honestly FJKHASDFGHADFG maybe im biased (trans) but like ... idk i am very biased about this

TECCHOU

first impression

genuinely when i first met all of the hunting dogs i forgot all of their names immediately . as chapters went on though i think the two main things i remember thinking "hes adorable" and "hes in love with jouno 100%"

impression now

i . love him . so much . he is the silliest little guy ever and hes also me . also hes still in love with jouno btw

favorite moment

every one of them /j no but fr in specific i love the ant scene (it was one of the only ones i remembered from the manga after i read that chapter i think), the justice speech / kenji fight (GOD hes so cool) and when he gets hit by the car (that was THE FUNNIEST ever)

idea for a story

oh my god okay so imagine jouno is sick and tecchou is taking care of him . that is all

unpopular opinion

i dont actually think i have an unpopular opinion for tecchou . at least not one that i can think of???? like with tecchou i think most of my hcs line up with how a lot of the fandom talks about him

favorite relationship

EASILY WITHOUT A DOUBT ITS SUEGIKU OH MY GOD

favorite headcanon

he can cook !!!!! he can cook really well and i like to imagine even though he refuses to eat anything thats not the same color he likes cooking stuf he knows jouno likes and doesnt force him to eat any of his "weird" food combos because he knows jouno doesnt really like stuff like that so he cooks how jouno likes for jouno and how he likes for himself . UAHUAUAHGUA

FYODOR

first impression

i think i initially went "oh my god" when i saw fyodor . fell for him IMMEDIATELY and also initially hated fyolai???

impression now

still falling . now love fyolai . improvements !!!

favorite moment

YES. /j

in all seriousness, some of my favorite moments with fyodor are uuh

the dead apple scene where hes on the rooftop and goes "this is too much fun :)" because i think honestly that scene made me fall SO HARD . also he just looks really pretty there dont question me

time for happy group counseling hour !!!!!! hmm? hi everybody im your host fyodor dostevsky- okay hold up stop right there. whats the problem? exactly, what? exactly what what? ooooooooh . life counseling . < that whole scene

ALSO THE THE THE the tHE . WHERE HE KICKS NIKOLAI'S BOOMBOX IN THE MANGA. HSE SO MEAN I LOVE HIM

idea for a story

oh my god. ok so basically . connected oneshots but one member of fyosiglai is individually insecure for some reason and the other two are like FUCK NO YOU ARENT and love them and cherish and praise them until theyre like oguhgug

unpopular opinion

hes pretty i LOVE HIM hes SO PRETTY ive seen HUNDREDS of people say hes UGLY hes SO NOT UGLY i LOVE HI

(in all seriousness, ive seen a lot of people say he'd be like, an abusive manipulative awful husband / boyfriend / whatever, and i literally just cannot see that happening . like, i feel like he'd want the perfect world FOR his s/o, he fell for them for a reason sort of thing . idk maybe i just love him but hgjkahfjkahdfjk)

favorite relationship

fyosiglai. or fyodor and me /j (/hj)

favorite headcanon

UUUUUH UH UH UH UH UH OH MY GOD I HAVE SO MANY HCS ABOUT HIM I LOVE HIM hes a cat person thats one of my favorites . if there is a cat on his lap he will not move

i also love the idea that he cannot for the life of him play horror games because he gets jumpscared and screams and he HATES that bc "vulnerability bad" (nikolai likes when he plays horror games anyway he thinks its funny when he gets jumpscared and screams really loud)

actually scratch that . fyodor is just bad at video games because i love that idea . hes good at logic games but when it just comes down to "survive!!!" or "do this objective" or something i love the idea that hes just Dog Ass at it

[celestie0]

your favorite characters from attack on titan? and why?

oh em gee 🧚‍♀️✨ i will gladly n excitedly answer this question (spoilers below cut)

i’ll do a top three lol

my fave character in the whole series was hange :””) i lovveeddd them from the very beginning when i watched aot s1 in 2013 so its been a decade long love ✋🏼😩 i cried so hard during s4 pt3 :””) but yeee i just adore the nerdy scientific characters that aren’t scared of the imminent threat of the verse but rather intrigued and curious to almost a point of insanity lol. but i think the hange scene i loved the most was during midnight sun (BEST AOT EP EVER I��LL DIE ON THIS HILL) is when mikasa is terrified of armin not being the one they bring back to life n hange says something like “there are people that i wish i could bring back too” 😭😭 idk that scene hit me rly hard n really quantified the amt of loss in aot i think

my second save character is reiner >:3 bc he’s so babygirl n i wanna make him my housewife. LOL jk naw but i HATED that man s2-s3 bc his whole multiple personality thing was such bullshit like 🙄 ok so you’ve killed sm of my fave characters but you’re still acting like a good guy??? go fuck yourself dude. BUT i started to get intrigued by his character when he was so committed to giving ymir’s letter to christa during shiganshina arc in s3 pt2…and then s4 rolled around and i fell IN LOVE W HIM. he was the only marleyan side warrior eldian that showed the right amount of remorse for what they did on paradis island, and although his backstory is so sad n its obv not his fault he was groomed into a war machine at such a young age, it was nice that isayama made him so guilty to the point of suicidal ideation. and he pulled THROUGGGH during the finale omg the scene where jean held onto him and said he is also a scout☝🏼😭 fuck yeah. also i’d like to impregnate him

my third fave character UUGHHH ITS TOO HARD THERES SO MANY but honestly i just have to say eren. i have soooo many mixed opinions ab eren’s character i could talk ab his character for HOURRSS but s1-3 eren was my BABY. my SON. MY SUGAR PLUM PUMPY UMPY UMPKIN. i mean he was pretty generic shonen protagonist coded lol but he was just such a sweetheart that was so hotheaded n determined to take care of the ppl he loved. it was always so easy to empathize w him on so many fronts n i love characters like that. however his character took an interesting turn in s4, and although i don’t agree w his actions in s4, i can’t say i didn’t want to see him succeed either…super weird, i still don’t quite know how to feel ab the events of the rumbling (i mean i err on the side of it was incredibly evil of him) but the fact there’s sm nuance to his character, regardless of whether i agree w him or not, means he’s one of my faves (we dont talk ab his character in the ending though. shhh. to me aot ends s4 ep28…sorry)

honorable mentions: armin, erwin, levi

least favorite character: zeke (die mf die)

YEEEEE THANK YOU FOR ASK BB i love talking ab aot <333 lmk what ur faves are if you’d like to 👀

[angevinyaoiz]

Love the designs in the new comic! How would Richard's later years look like in the AU?

I actually haven't thought about how the boys would look like or what their lives would be outside of my Humorously Recreating Historical events--especially since the timeline is very compressed so everyone is basically speedrunning 30-40 years of Events in like 1-2 teenage summers lol. I wrote a lot of thoughts below (also going into overthinking of How Burger King Universe even works), TLDR the binary is he'd either be a Dead Teen who rocked out a little too hard and made the wrong random person mad or he'll grow up and become a completely normal guy with no relation or connection at all to the historical Richard the lionheart aside from that tumultuous period, but to do so one has to exit the story I make in my head hahaah

Burger King Edgyverse : In this verse it would prob sort of be one of those really edgy teen narratives that follow the Richard timeline of he goes to the crusade concert, has massive interpersonal drama stemming from the 10000 personal and familial issues that escalates and catastrophizes all the relationships, goes home, tries to fix things, continues to have massive drama, maybe comes close to fixing it but then ends up dying really randomly out of some weird karma situation IDK maybe it's like the legend where some kid who he forgot about HATES him and then idk hit him with their car or smth on Châlus street while he's busy beefing. And then everyone is finally like damn.....he was a hot mess but he did some cool stuff so now we are all going to watch his videos and think Abt his life from another angle recontextualized and we now think he was cool now (PR internet movement gets built up. ). idk I'm a bitch who loves weirdly anticlimactic tragedy so that's one universe.

Kind of is my processing and sticking to the main points of the historical Richard life which always struck me as very Dramatic and almost cyclical, which Is very fun for me. Idk there is something very "cursed" about all the family members and their ends and relationships so following up with that (in a more modern sensibility way) is fun to me.

ALTERNATIVELY:

I also thought about...what if characters in the Bk universe aren't cursed to that eternal return...idk. I had a funny thought earlier like that Geoffrey in BK universe doesn't die, he just becomes self-aware of and chooses to exit bc he's tired of the bullshit hahaa (tv equivalent of actor having to leave the show). In my mind, for the Narrative, some people do have to die, namely in my mind Junior does die in BK universe and shifts the mood from haha sillie goofy conflict to more strained and bitter. After all it IS an AU. Maybe BK Richard can leave being "Richard" timeline behind and be just a guy in an unrelated story who grows up past the predetermined historical event timeline parallels and can be a normal person with average life sort of thing. But that's beyond my scope since I'm mostly interested and focused on reinterpreting specific dynamics in that timeline, and deviating too much is when characters feel less AU and more distant and become different People to me (which would be the point...the historical figure must die for a person to live? Idk.

I know this feels like a weird distinction to make, and prob plenty of ppl probably see my delusions and think it's ALREADY so deviant but its more internal like in my mind I like having specific connections to historical stuff even if it's a weird tangled thread heheh. In general though, all is in good fun.....it's late so I may write later so apologies if this makes no sense at all but thanks for reading this far if u got it hahaah

[genderfluid-faerie-bf]

MY TURN okay. i am just gonna hop on a call with mi dulce before i start this bc long. and ik he was worried abt the character limit but i will just do two posts if i have to idc 1. good lord my memory is so shit, you expect me to remember that? idk dude i remember doing laser tag a lot which was good, movies, lots of time w my cousins and brothers, the five of us were always a group 2. ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY 3. hm. a living person? if it can be anyone, Cicero. Looked up to him since I was like 13-14 ish 4. my favourite will always be the red scrolls of magic by cassandra clare, the sequel is incredible as well and IM SO EXCITED FOR THE THIRD 5. physically? emotionally?? i think. most probably. that he's not afraid to visibly care 6. i do love my new dress, so i will go with that. but i do love a lot of things so it's a tricky choice. dress for now. 7. happy. i like the idea of people being in love. i know like 'it's chemical' or 'it's biological' and 'happens to everyone' and a) no it doesnt bc aro ppl exist and b) who cares?? i don't care if it's chemical it still makes people happy! isn't that what you want? isn't that the whole aim of life?? 8. i wish i did but he's at the wrong house and i'm surviving w out him 9. one of those 'greatest hits' cds i can't remember much except it had beauty and a beat which i now hate <333 10. im gonna be soooo real. hiking and driving both suck so im gonna take the travel part out of the equation and just go stargaze vs sunrise and stargaze wins, just. 11. dance with my demons, by blame my youth. hits just as hard as ever four years after i first listened to it 12. iced 13. bright colours!! i want to be Seen and Perceived 14. breakfast for dinner bc cereal 15. black thumb, sadly. wish i didn't but i do 16. my collarbone and hip bones, i just like the. idk i like my hips and my collarbone 17. lawyer 18. tall, blond and with an american accent. (i know.) 19. i actually dont rlly want either, like i wouldnt say no, but theres no pull towards either of em 20. makeup 21. idk, there's been many. 22. who knows, really. i dont pay attention to the weird stuff. i like weird people 23. oh this is. hard. i think my dream date would be a long trip together. train ride, maybe? not about the destination. just the trip. 24. intuition. i have never been a logical person, emotion is just better 25. yes. 26. no 27. me, no explanation 28. spotify wrapped day!!!! 29. no <3 30. insta 31. soooo many shows dude. i did not vibe with like. the home reno shows in general, and antique roadshow and just. many of the ones where things are for sale and money is involved. 32. Land: Horses / Land of a thousand dances / La Mer(de) by Patti Smith 33. yes 34. also yes. 35. oh fuck whats his name. the gay guy that does the antique recipes. then tom holland. after that idk 36. latin 37. no 38. roses, especially yellow roses. 39. having someone touch my shoulders, tracing things on my shoulders, laying a hand on my shoulders, etc. 40. yes 41. i like the idea, never had someone to celebrate it with yet tho 42. no and no 43. my writing, i would hope, or hopefully as 'spouse of (important position)' for when my nick takes over the world 44. "Unasked for advice is criticism, my dear" - Magnus Bane from TSC 45. yeah 46. no and not really? maybe but its not big on my list of wants 47. h a t e it when people refuse to do something fun bc it's 'cringe' or embarrassing or whatever. be authentic!! care about things!! i know im gonna be bad at ice skating and dancing and karaoke and i DONT CARE JUST LET ME BE THE FIRST TO DANCE. WHEN I GET UP, FOLLOW ME. I DONT CARE 48. empathy

70. driving 71. whatever nick listens to??? indie rock i think???? 72. chill. i wish i didnt know.

73. late night or early morning. midday is just bad. 74. both

75. wyoming, michigan; venice; rome 76. that they are really in tune with that other people think different things. and will try to get your thoughts rather than assume 77. no.

78. hair

79. yes but also no. tell me, then i forget, and then i get the surprise later! both!

80. my pfp on insta

81. the shadow hunter chronicles, by cassandra clare

82. yes

83. my red rose earring, matching w nicky

84. my family is just me actually. i have no family, i don't claim them as my relatives

85. no but i want to be, one day

86. boxers

87. apartment with library room, this has not changed

88. KITTY. TSC. KITTY. 89. michigan

90. the thursday murder club by richard osman, and the sequels

91. never has been one!

92. THE SHADOWHUNTER CHRONICLES HANDS DOWN 93. oh boy. too long to bother with but. later.

94. one i'm at rn

95. we bumped into my brother. while kissing. he didn't know i was gay.

96. nicky <3

97. spontaneity babyyy

98. in general, no, but i think i have a closer view of what i am than most people do, if that makes sense. i know i'll never get it exactly right but i think im pretty self aware

99. house md

100. dancing queen by abba

Get to know me asks✨

So introverts who never talk to their mutuals can get to know each other lol

1. What were your summers like as a kid?

2. Do you enjoy thrilling rides like rollercoasters?

3. Who was your childhood hero?

4. What is your favorite book?

5. What do you find most attractive about your crush?

6. What’s your favorite outfit?

7. Does seeing people in love make you happy? Sad? Annoyed?

8. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

9. What CD did you play to death as a kid?

10. Hike to a mountain top to watch the sunrise or drive out of town to stargaze?

11. What song has the most relatable song lyrics to you?

12. Iced drinks or hot drinks?

13. Bright colors or neutral tones?

14. Breakfast for dinner or pizza for breakfast?

15. Do you have a green thumb or a black thumb?

16. What’s your favorite feature of yours?

17. Would you rather be a lawyer or a doctor?

18. What type do you tend to go for physically?

19. Power of invisibility or flight?

20. Would you rather wake up with your makeup magically done or your hair?

21. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into?

22. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen someone do in public?

23. What’s your dream date?

24. Do you tend to gravitate more toward using logic or intuition to make decisions?

25. Do you like parties?

26. Did you enjoy high school?

27. Who is the craziest person in your family and why?

28. What’s your favorite holiday tradition?

29. Can you describe your laugh?

30. Instagram or Twitter?

31. What’s a show that everyone loves that you didn’t?

32. What song is stuck in your head?

33. Do you like exercising?

34. Do you scare easily?

35. Who are your top 5 celebrity crushes?

36. If you could learn one language fluently what would it be?

37. Would you fly to the moon if given the opportunity?

38. What’s your favorite flower?

39. What non-sexual touch affects you the most?

40. Do you enjoy cuddling?

41. Do you like valentine’s day?

42. Do you enjoy driving and are you a good driver?

43. What would you be most likely to become famous for?

44. Do you have a favorite quote?

45. Are you a romantic?

46. Do you have any tattoos or want to get one?

47. Biggest pet peeve?

48. Favorite personality trait about yourself?

49. Sum up your type in three words.

50. Do you listen to Kpop and if so who is your bias and why?

51. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed awake?

52. Hot or cold weather?

53. Bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates?

54. Can you do any good impressions?

55. What’s the best prank you’ve been witness to?

56. Favorite dessert?

57. Is there a vine or tik tok you quote often?

58. What tumblr post always makes you laugh?

59. What country that you haven’t been to do you want to visit most?

60. Can you cook and do you enjoy it?

61. What’s your guilty pleasure movie?

62. What’s your comfort movie?

63. Is there a genre of music you don’t like?

64. What’s an album that you think has no skips on it?

65. What’s your favorite thing to watch on youtube?

66. Would you make the first move to ask someone out?

67. Do you often dream or have nightmares that you remember when you wake up?

68. What are you craving right now?

69. What turns you on?

70. What’s something you haven’t done that you think most people have?

71. What genre is your favorite playlist right now and what’s it called?

72. Are you a sad or happy drunk? Chill or energetic drunk?

73. What time of day do you like best?

74. Do you tend to enjoy being babied or do you prefer to be the one taking care of someone else?

75. What top three cities do you want to travel to?

76. What’s your favorite feature about your best friend?

77. Do you have any pets? What are their names?

78. Back scratches or having your hair played with?

79. Do you like surprises?

80. What’s your favorite picture of yourself?

81. What books influenced you most as a child?

82. Do you like kids?

83. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? (or other accessory if you don’t wear any)

84. Any wild stories passed around in your family?

85. Do you consider yourself an independent person?

86. What are you most comfortable sleeping in?

87. What was your childhood dream?

88. What’s your fictional OTP?

89. What’s one thing you want to achieve this year?

90. What has been your favorite book you’ve read in the last 5 years?

91. What was the first movie to make you cry?

92. What book world would you live in if given the opportunity?

93. What’s your craziest work related story?

94. What’s the best job you’ve had so far?

95. Worst tinder or date experience?

96. What’s the first thing you think of when you wake up most mornings?

97. Are you more of a planner or a spontaneous adventurer?

98. Do you think you see yourself the way other people see you?

99. What’s the last show you binged?

100. What’s one of your fondest memories?

[xx-neon]

june 12th

hi 

i wanted to start writing because i feel like itll help me in some way, ive never really said anything i think or feel. i never really say anything at all. 

if for some reason someone who isnt me reads this im sorry. itll be a lot of word vomit and just generally unpleasant so maybe dont read all of it lol. im going to try and not use lol beacuse i do that to lighten the mood.

anyway.

yesterday before i went to work i had this really strange feeling. it was this weird sense of nothingness and everything? i feel like thats how people feel before they die. like a weird calmness. i felt comfortable and okay with everything. so i felt nothing really when i googled if hanging yourself hurts, i have a rope and everything but i just wanted to make sure i wouldnt feel any more pain. in my head i thought it would be kinda like a slap to the face if i wanted to kill myself because of the pain and then the last thing i feel is pain ha. 

anyway. i got really annoyed when all the results were for the suicide helpline. numbers to call, resources, texting lines everything. i just wanted to know. but then i gave up. as usual. 

all day yesterday i was just planning on when id do it. i wanted to pick a good day. i remembered that i have to clean my apartment first, make sure my cat is fed, but then my friends birthday is coming up and i wanted to wish them a happy birthday, and i had plans to hang out with my friend, and then after that i had plans to hang out with another of my friends. i realized maybe im too busy to die and i really didn't want to disappoint anyone. so i just gave up on that thought. (i did see my friends i was supposed to see yesterday, and this guy bought my food and drinks which has never happened before which was really nice) 

idk how i got here honestly. ive tried suicide before but obviously im writing so that didnt work. but before was different. i just went for it. i didnt think about it. i didnt plan anything i just went 1,2,3 go. i mean, i know how i got here. myself. if i wasnt such a fucking people pleaser maybe I'd have enough balls to be in a better place. 

my ex and i officially broke up last week, and thats kinda where it all started. i know it sounds stereotypical but i dont want to die because of the breakup but because of the feelings that came after it. i really wanted to break up. it was my idea in the beginning. but it took him forever to just say “yeah i dont have any feelings so this is it”. it was like my ego took a flip. ive actually have never had someone say that to me. that sounds really uppity i know. but its true. in my head i thought “after all i did for you thats how you end it?”. and i really ruined my life for this guy. i quit my old job i did hate it tho, moved away from my friends and family, he got into an accident so i used all my money to take care of him and had to take off work, drove him everywhere bc he couldnt drive, etc. and what did i get in return? he cheated on me twice, treated me like shit, slammed a door in my face so hard it broke my glasses, tried to hit me. the relationship was so bad all im left with is alcoholism and an eating disorder. so honestly, good riddance. 

he left me in a really, really bad place. i have to figure out where to live now since he just up and left. i dont have enough money to live on my own anymore. tbh i dont even want to write about it since it stresses me out so much. so i wont. ive just been drinking and going out to distract myself. not from him but like i said, the feelings that came after it. i want revenge, i want peace, i want him to apologize, i want him to never do this to anyone, and i just want to die. i dont have people to talk to about this stuff, i do but, i dont want to seem like an angry ex. i just want people to see the hurt that ive been through. i just want someone to tell me its going to be okay. that what i feel is normal. that people go through this all the time. i just want comfort. 

im sure if i actually told anyone about this theyd be like “but you have me!! you have your family!! you have people who care about you!!”. and yeah i do. but when youre so far down a hole, you dont see the light at the top, just darkness. and probably dirt lol. 

i cried for the first time today. since all of this happened i havent cried at all. my chest has been hurting so much since ive been holding it in. but the reason i started crying was kinda dumb. one of my old friends found me and reached out. he wanted to see how i was doing and what ive been up to. what was i supposed to say? “hey ive been horrible! just planning my suicide and and stuff ya know” but of course i couldnt say that so i just said ive been good. we caught up for a bit and thats when he said hes getting over a breakup that messed him up. so i took the bait and said yeah me too. he just said if you ever want to talk you can always call or text. so i just said thank you it means a lot and that things can only get better i guess. and idk why but thats when i started crying. he said 

“theres so much good to come” 

its so dumb but i felt like those words were just a giant warm blanket. especially with the head space that im in. obviously i could hear that from anyone. but hearing it from someone i haven't talked to in like 4 years meant so much more.

there are so many people who care about me. ive just been stuck dealing with my ex and only caring about what he had to think or feel. he never really cared about me like these people do. theyre concerned about me. they tell me to eat, they tell me theyre worried about my drinking, they dont want me to be out alone, they want to make sure im okay. 

so fuck my ex. fuck him and anyone who thinks hes a good person. hes such a manipulative piece of shit. no one really knows what ive been through. no one knows how hes left me. no one knows about the cheating. no one knows about the abuse. they know nothing. im sure hes talked about me. im sure hes told them how i have a hard time showing feelings. im sure hes told them.. i dont even know. hes probably pulled something out of his ass. and they probably feel so bad for him. i hope they do. and i hope one day they feel just as stupid as i do. 

i just had to get my anger out. 

but my friend is right i think. maybe there is good to come. ive decided to stick around to find out. 

[bma-2020]

honestly seeing the ‘stupid girls’ that dont pick up on jokes or sarcasm be used as a punchline in television so much kind of sucks bc its like, theres so many people i know irl who never take me seriously at all because ‘im stupid’ and like i could do excessive scientific explanations of things and they ‘fact check’ me in the manner of ‘oh youre right i wasnt expecting that from you’ and its like??? i cant tell when youre fucking with me and i can’t do math it’s not like i paid someone else to do my work for me i mean how would i get a job if i cant actually do what i say i can so like

[itsnothingofinterest]

#i have so many thoughts on this#the MLA wanted Twice bc of his quirk and bc of his mental instability#bc it meant he would be easy to control#and BEFORE that Overhaul wanted Twice during the alliance along with Toga for possibly the same reasons#bc Overhaul would pick up vulnerable ppl to make them loyal to him#and Giran DID say Twice would be useful in any organization he joined bc of his quirk#and so.. i couldn't help but think that Hawks would want that too? Arrest Twice and convince him to use his quirk for the /better good/#aka for the heroes & commission (maybe in exchange for a lesser sentence?)#idk Hawks dialogue just sounded so iffy for me bc he rlly did seem intent on giving twice this second chance#but it also didn't sound.. genuine..#and he works for the commission.. who pick on people when they're vulnerable... .#like?? I'm just stuck on believing Hawks had a second agenda to befriending Twice up until he learned the guy got over his trauma#then shit hit the fan and dabi appeared etc etc etc ya know#also highkey if anybody in the lov deserved a REAL second chance its spinner bc all he did was checkout mla meetings#and i don't think he was ever shown to explicitly murder anyone either lol#at least up until that point etc

Wait hold on you might be on to something. ‘Cause like, one of the weird things about Hawks in this encounter is, he tries to take Twice in repeatedly with some level of his cooperation, but never tries to arrest him by force. Whenever he needs to use force that force is lethal. Like, here's the generalized play-by-play:

He starts off having ambushed & pinned Twice; telling him to come quietly and that he’ll help Twice start over once he serves his time & answers for his crimes if he does.

But when Twice refuses, he goes for the kill. Even though his quirk counters a Parade, and even when he has Twice pinned again, Hawks unambiguously talks about how he needs to kill Twice and stabs down at his head.

But then we get something weird; after Dabi’s attack we get the above panels where Hawks thinks how, with Twice's bones & muscles sliced up, suddenly he can just carry him out.

Except then Twice resists again, running away and letting Dabi light it up; and Hawks starts trying to kill him again, ultimately succeeding this time.

Hawks seemed willing to take Twice in only if he came peacefully; if he resisted he had to die. It always confused me and I never really came up with a good reason why he'd do that.

But your idea might explain it. Maybe Hawks was told Twice would only be brought in alive if he could be talked into using his quirk for the HC; otherwise he’s to dangerous to live. If he came peacefully, if he was trying to start over, Twice could be talked into using his quirk for his jailers’ benefit. Maybe Hawks thought he could get the same result if he could sow animosity from Dabi’s attack. But Twice never stopped thinking only about helping his friends. So he’d never be talked into helping the heroes, and thus he had to die.

New headcanon accepted I think.

hawks had no reason to kill twice.

like ignoring that it is an extrajudicial punishment and never should have happened, there’s also no reason for it to have happened.

people try to justify it by saying hawks was preventing a rampage by killing him but he had already debilitated him

like these are hawks’ own thoughts during the fight before he kills twice:

so unless this translation is wrong (if it is please tell me) then there was absolutely no reason for him to kill him. like he literally just decided to do that for no fucking reason. why do people act like hawks had no other choice??

[yongislong]

skin ship + dreamies.

wc/genre: idk, pretty short though, fluff, suggestive.... lmao established relationships with nonidol!dreamies! reqs openn

cw/note: none! late night post, not requested but i had this idea while studying bc... shit has been going on in my life and i! need! comfort! lmk what you think, masterlist is on my page, take care of urselves, i am in no way saying love can cure mental illness in any of my posts btw! i thought i'd just clarify lol

mark... he's so touchy with you and he's such a nerd about it LOL, he loves you and freaks out. like yes he's confident don't get me wrong but once he sees you and realizes that he has you, he pounces. he hugs you so hard people might think you'd disappear. it's always so full of love and he has a geeky smile and you can hear his breathy giggles in your ear. also likes pulling your toes when you're on your bed scrolling in PEACE. he does it so hard and you never fail to fly off wherever you're sitting to chase him across the apartment. cheek pincher on the low. honestly loves any skin ship under the sun. especially on any exposed skin, smooches <3 shoulder kiss enthusiast and he's very good at it :') likes catching you off guard with any skin ship. pulls you tight whenever you sleep

renjun... hand tracing dear god. he loves your hands, no matter what they look like. YES i know its cliche but he loves messing with your rings, painting your nails, etc. he thinks he's being so slick and cool but he's so cute about it because he also doesn't care, like he has no reason to not show you how beautiful he believes every part of you is. sometimes he doesn't even notice, he just takes ahold of your wrists or forearm and drapes it on his lap. maybe he likes to put his fingers in ur mouth I DON'T KNOW??? esp when you wave ur finger in his face... not super touchy when cuddling but you always end up with his hand in yours. sometimes switches rings with you and doesn't notice until he's taking off his jewelry to go to bed and he's giggling into his hand like an 8 year old lol. likes pinching the skin on your upper back and thighs. finds comfort in tracing his fingertips on your collarbones before bed, helps you both fall asleep fast

jeno... god he's such a hip guy. loves a cheeky lil slap on the butt at any time of the day OFC but also just likes having his hands on your hips, likes to feel ur hipbones/curves y'know. you're so beautiful to him. he always pretends to get the wind knocked out of him when he sees u... hes so cheesy. sometimes when you're watching a movie he sits you between his legs and innocently snakes one finger under your clothes to feel the skin on the expanse on your upper hip and stomach. he loooves stomachs. especially if they're soft or not defined like those old greek paintings, he likes how different you feel from him if that makes sense.... bc he's lean. unless you're lean too he kinda gets fomo like damn did you hit the gym without him lol. also a cheek pincher, just likes messing with your face in general. cute sleeper, tucks you under his chin, ends up with his head under your shirt bc he gets cold at night and is always so surprised when he wakes up pfft. also an upper arm rubber. pls trace your finger on his nose brige.

haechan... mf. any skin ship have you seen this man. i will say the skin ship he has with you and the way he goes about it is different because he wants to make it a point that yes, he's touchy but only you get certain privileges or touches. especially when you two are alone. he likes to look at you while you sleep, not in a weird way he just likes that this is the one time you let him play with your hair and kiss your fingertips without you bursting into shy giggles. a lot of people think he would be a goofy bf and yeah that's true but he wants to so badly do well in this relationship. he cares about you so much. some nights when he looks at you he's thinks he just might cry. gives you lots of typical skin ship but also just is super domestic and sweet and considerate of your feelings. LOOVES, loves and i mean adores hiding his face in the crook of your neck, likes your natural scent sm, makes him smiley.

jaemin... like haechan he likes to watch you when you sleep but in the morning instead, when he wakes up before you. likes whispering things to you about how gorgeous he thinks you are and how can someone look so pretty when they've been tossing and turning all night. smiles to himself always. pokes your cheeks especially when you're puffy and sleepy. his favorite type of skin ship is pulling your cheek. he also likes brushing up your brows and running his thumb on your lower lip. gosh he's just so so sweet. he's obsessed with you in the best way. likes being around you. hand on the waist when he's trying to maneuver himself behind you to reach for his toothbrush in the bathroom > AGH. has no limits to how touchy he is in his mind. like if you are equally as touchy or just enjoy skin ship and don't mind him giving you puppy dog eyes through the mirror as he brushes your hair, its an easy open for him to do what he wants with you. I KNOW this is kinda all over the place but just imagine someone being in absolute adoration of you, your body, your skin, your face in a non creepy way LOL etc, etc. very wholesome

chenle... waist holder. oh MY god. he's not really touchy, in my opinion and from what i've seen, but he is a clinger. he likes skin ship mostly and only if he gets to initiate it. makes him feel manly muahaha. dont get me wrong, adores you doing slight skin ship with him but when he gets to tuck you under him at night or is able to trace the underside of your jaw. OH MY GOD he loves putting his finger under your chin to lift your face to look up at him please??? is so cocky about this and even if you're taller or his height, he loves to catch you when you're sitting down and it never fails to make you lose your mind. yeah yeah he likes it when you touch his neck, he's corny like that. laying your hand on his chest when you kiss GOD??? he combusts every time. it's moments like these where he doesn't mind you initiating touches bc it makes him feel special and wanted. please give him attention when you've seen he's had a hard day. he never knows how to ask for you, but now you've gotten into the swing of being around each other and learning what each other likes when it comes to skin to skin contact.

jisung... another fucking cheek poker dude. can never grasp the fact that yeah, you're sitting next to him, willingly watching his favorite movie with him, sharing a blanket, with the fresh cookies you made. wants to make sure you're real so he pokes you. he doesn't think he doesn't deserve you he just, is so proud of himself for bagging you and needs to make sure he isn't lucid dreaming LOL. ya'll need to wake up, yeah jisung has probably never had a relationship up until you but oh... oh once he learns how to fluster you, its like he hit the jackpot. knows how much you like him kissing the top of your spine before bed and you learned that tugging on the hairs and the nape of his neck has earned you several reactions in the past. its a very sweet and intimate relationship, watching the both of you test the waters with shy pecks or head pats until you finally date for long enough that he fully feels confident falling asleep on your chest with his arms caging around your waist. likes pretty basic skin ship, he't not a poet or anything yknow LMAO so expect a lot of neck pecks, head pats, hugs where he shifts his weight in between his feet and rocks you back and forth, he's just a sweetie

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[batemanofficial]

ok i’ve had the whole workday to process so here are my compiled thoughts on don’t worry darling. spoilers under the cut

first things first i really did like the sound design. i wish there’d been more care taken to make the music choices a little more intentional or use them as a foreshadowing device, but overall it was very cohesive

the production design was great for like. 85% of the film but the other 15% just felt like a target commercial to me. like there is such thing as too much pastel

chris pine is severely underutilized as an actor, like disappointingly so. his character felt super flat which obv doesn’t bode well for a man who’s supposed to be playing a cult leader ykwim

having now watched the film in its entirety i feel like the above issue is likely due to runtime constraints, and i bet if we could see the deleted scenes frank would feel like a far more fleshed-out character. bc as he exists in the final theatrical cut of the film he kind of comes across as just Chris Pine: The Mayor

you all know how i feel about harry styles but he was actually kind of ok. like solid c+ acting, which is a lot better than i was prepared to give him credit for

his accent is godawful tho. not budging on that one

the theatre i saw it in had like 20 people in it total including myself and my friend who came w me but we all laughed at some of his lines. like he tried. he tried real hard but some of his more monologue-y scenes came across kinda hammy

florence pugh was great but imo the way they edited the film made her seem vaguely stoned instead of paranoid?? idk that might just be me but imo some of her solo scenes esp toward the end of act 1 read more “trying to act sober in target after taking too many edibles” than “plagued by visions” but overall she was great as always

ok spoiler time >:) you’ve been warned and whatnot

not to be that guy but i saw the twist coming like ten minutes in. like as soon as she picked up the eggs i knew that it was going to be a simulation

and re: harry’s acting when i kind of pieced together the simulation idea i initially thought he was going to be a robot, because he didn’t really give a ton of indication that jack had a life outside of alice and the victory project

like in Jaime’s Theory Corner i was fully assuming that the victory headquarters was going to be like. robot husband storage facility and alice was just there to be a lab rat and everyone around her (with the potential exceptions of frank and the doctor) weren’t real

but anyway

i really wish they’d fleshed out the incel thing more too, like if jack and co. are trapping their ‘wives’ in victory then i feel like they’d come across a little more paranoid than they really did in the film

and re: chris pine being underutilized i wish they’d made him more of an actual jordan peterson type than. bland white man hates women ykwim?? like yeah yeah there’s a billion misogynist white men in cinema make him more of a freak

like the dinner scene toward the end of act 2 is what he should’ve been all along honestly. he’s just kind of a lawn ornament for the first 90 minutes of the film but let him keep that weird manic liar energy and that’d make him more compelling

i wish they’d used nick kroll and asif ali more too. they’re funny!! let them be funny!!

and i also wish we’d been forced to look at less of olivia wilde’s fivehead but. that’s neither here nor there

also in general it kind of took fucking forever to get to the point. like there’s a solid 35 minutes of fat you could cut out of that movie and still have it hit all it beats

i guess my main gripe is that there’s too much fucking around and not enough finding out. like i’m not talking about the sex scenes, i had no problem with those, but alice spends a lot of her screen time staring at her hands and comparatively little of it actually bothering to do anything about her problem. which kind of bothered me bc that runtime could’ve been used to develop the other characters in much-needed ways

like. i guess this is kind of the whole point but stuff happens at alice, alice doesn’t really have enough narrative agency to do anything constructive on her own

anyway. overall i’d say it’s the matrix for straight people so i’d give it like a 6.5/10. also gemma chan’s character stabbing frank was a moment that i feel normal about [lying] [gay] [i am looking 👀]

[apuff]

ngl if there was a guy in my class who always had his hands clenched and acted strangely and leaned away from my and seemed to be in tension id just assume he had chronic pain

i get why bella as a character is ahead in school, as it allows her to be focusing on ~interpersonal drama~ and ~misery~ rather than having to focus on learning

yaaas cemetry drive is playing

the dramaaa

bruh

this girl is like describing paradise

tbf after this she gets almost hit by a car bc of the ice but still

bellas like "ugh i got hit by a car and went in the ambulance so annoying 🙄 🙄 "

wait bella is popular now 😭

girl has EVERYTHING WHY IS SHE SO GLOOMY

dude mike is in love with her HWY DOES SHE HATE EVERYONE

i feel so bad for mike

hes actually pretty nice she just only loves special shiny vampire boy............

hmmmmm

the drama

SORRY WHAT ANOTHER BOY JUST ASKED BELLA OUT

WHY IS EVERY BOY SO INTO HERRRR

THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE

WHAT

ANOTHER FUCKIGN BOY JUST ASKED HER OUT????????

THE KID WHO CRASHED HIS CAR INTO HER ????

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

im annoyed with this writing choice but im not going to act like its not really funny

meyer deadass wrote "grrr" into her book like omg bella is just like me fr

i gotta admit this is pretty funny

first i was annoyed by the triple proposal in one day but i think that might actually be a dracula (lucy gets proposed 3 times in one day) reference sooo im less annoyed by it

the year is 2005 and making disparaging jokes about mental health is funny

OMG

BELLA GOT ASKED OUT BY EDWARD 😭

 IS THIS STILL A DRAC REF IDK

 well lucy turned it down twice and accepted the last time so her turning down 3 times and accepting last makes sense??

 idk why edwards being so wishy washy about her

i guess its that he needs to feed on her so thats why he acts rudely cause he doesnt want to give in,,,,,but he feeds on something else so his urge is satiated so he feels okay talking to her again??

anyways im sort of bummed out by how non-monstrous or magical these vamps are so far, i suppose anything could change since i'm only on like chapter 3 or something. but like. in drac the vamps are like people, but demons, scary and gross, but sexy, their bodies and age totally change when they drink blood, they have these frightening effects on the health of others, they hypnotize people, they feed on them, they turn into giant bats and dogs and even mist itself....... they can only work in the shadows (literally and figuratively), are totally nocturnal, they pick people off one by one, they sleep in boxes of their home dirt during the day, they crawl on the walls like damned lizards. they are weird asf.

 MIST???

 FORKS, RENOWNED FOR BEING WET AND FOGGY AND-DARISAY-MISTY??

 please myer do something with this..

 i get why edward wants to live here tho bc it's so wet and there's less of the sun...although im p sure in drac it's not just the literal actual sunlight but more the day in general thats bad for them....

 anyways.. i hope we get to see some crazy stuff with the vamps in twilight soon

 you now what also annoys me

 theres thsi literal 6 week timeskip

 and bellas relationship with the 2-5 people she hangs out with all day every day seems to have progressed 0 and she has no new feelings about them and doesnt care about them so she has any sort of complicated feelings about bluntly turning them down

 she only cares about edwarddddd

 this is so sinister

anyways i think the descriptions of edward are getting more boring by the second. ive been thinking more and more hes just ur average hot boy driven to angelic status by her crush on him NOT that he is unnaturally ephemerally beutiful already and shes just acknowledging that fact

please describe the way the darkness pools under his eyes and around his chin like the chiaroscuro of the old masters. please describe how his hair is thick and voluminous like a renaissance statue. please describe how he floats from place to place like a gliding angel. please stop just calling him beautiful

this is actually so scary if this happened to me id be calling the cops

i still think that sounds scary as hell but reading more i kinda understand the appeal... edward is old and scary and knows a lot, but bella is someone he cant read and she argues with him ON AN EVEN FIELD.. the power dynamics are still concerning but in the real of fiction it's a constant push-and-pull with a dangerous hot love interest. i understand the appeal. bella may be mopey but she has this fighty, independent spirit yo her. the fact that she fights edward instead of just acquiescing to him makes it less scary

HUH?? maybe i will get some of my wishes just the boring hot boy versions of them tho

blood type stuff..hmmmhmmhmmmm

HMMM

is edward gonna go shark crazy

also this sounds really illegal who just stabs childrens fingers randomly w/o their consent

what if they have hemophilia or a fear of blood or anemia or something 😭 bruh this teacher oughtta get fired

sorry bella can smell blood?? is she half vamp or smth??

okay im gonna stop it for this reblog because im getting really tired of pasting text from discord to google docs then fixing it then pasting it into tumblr then fixing it and i'm like a third of the way through my channel so i'm already afraid at how long this is going to take

i wanna read twilight just to see if its as bad as everyone says it is

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Fascinating. They usually cut jealousy scenes to a minimum or don't show at all even in pure BL genre, like Lan Wangji (esp Wen Ning thing) or Shen Wei being extremely possessive, bc it can't be explained by brotherhood in their opinion. It's also the reason it was cut from Ultimate. So why here suddenly add scenes like that and with such heavy focus is a mystery, since you've said it's not in the novel. It's not even reasonable jealousy, its just straight up "cant touch my piece of pizza" stuff

Hmm... never thought about it. LOL in the anime the kept LZ being jealous of Wen Ning though xD. Idk in "Sleuth of the Ming" they made a whole open scene out of it. What I've noticed is that their censorship always works differently, and some choices never cease to surprise me, as in who decides what's ok and whats not, bc idk... I understand that stuff like dying for each other, touching, staring can be by many seen as a touching bromance technically, I mean I've seen many ppl watching even cencored BL and being completely oblivious. But there are sometimes some stuff included, that I personally do not get how it can be interpreted as "close friends" and how it passed the censorship. And I do not mean here sucking out poisons, for example (bc I would've done this for my close friends if they were in danger haha).

I'm just judging from the point of view of like me and my sister being very close to the point of a person on the street asking us if we're lesbians lmao (I like still don't get where it came from, hand holding?xD). As I've said before, I guess I see why some ppl who don't have close friends or family would consider some closeness as romantic (since both close bros and couple do some things like spooning for example), but anyone who like saw idk bts members or have a super close bestie or sibling might know that hugging each other to sleep, wearing their clothes or feeding them a jelly bean if their hands are busy doesn't always mean you have any romance there going on, speaking from my expierience, so I just have different view on this "gay stuff vs bro stuff". (like to me the afterlife pingxie scene is actually gayer than any touching they've done, bc like why he didn't see his family or iron triangle whole if they all bros). It's just there are a LOOOT of things that can be indeed considered bro stuff technically (they might not be, but they could), but there is some stuff that just cannot be explained by we're bros, thats all. And this kind of jealousy is one of them.

Bc like a bit of jealousy like "my bestie wanted to go skating with their lover instead of me, so I'm upset we don't spend as much time together" can exist, but if you have problems with someone hitting on your friend, checking him out or even touching him and you don't want them to date anybody, that's another thing, that just means you wanna date them. Wu Xie can hug Fatty to sleep and they can slap each other's butts like me and my sis, but he'd never be jealous seeing someone flirting with him or smth. You know what I mean here? So I get why it's in most situations considered not censorship appropriate and it's cut.

But the most funny thing about the "him being unreasonably jealous" added scenes is the fact that like they actually chose to make him being absurdly jealous. Bc for example in the first version of the scene, Pangzi was trying to dance with Xiaoge, thats why Wu Xie got all worked up:

it was at least somewhat understandable. But in the actual scene from the drama they went and for some reason changed it. Xiaoge pulled Pangzi in, bc he lost direction while being blind, but it was still Pangzi who got reprimanded for that at the end lmao

so it just became even more hilarious, bc Pangzi just grazed him, he didn't even do anything, so I was like will this guy just calm the fuck down, but no, he kept going lolz

I'm just surprised about some of their deliberate choices I guess. So I agree, weird it is.

But Reboot in general was weird, when it comes to the rollercoaster of their choices lmao. They uncensored, then used censorship to uncensor, then censored to cover, its just the first time I saw this weird kind of censorship, like as long as girls are there, jokes like "I won't be able to get it up on a woman" are okay??????? Idk they were just extremely out there almost each episode with all kinds of stuff, that by the end I was like... well, at this point its already pointless. I guess it was just the first time, I've seen it made in such weird way and actually used in a smart way fitted with the character and no just for the sake of it. Adding a scene when he accidentally calls his in their opinion potential love interest his bro's name is actually uncensoring, not censoring, you know what I mean? (since we in fact didn't move anywhere near this realization in the book). Same as what many noticed about them openly making fun of censorship and "out of nowhere appeared feelings and how its not love and whats wrong with idolization if u don't know a person" after NPSS interviews and how it only made everyone fall for what pingxie have more. So it was like... I actually for the first time enjoyed it. It was a pretty genius way of showing Wu Xie's weird internal struggles from that book, which I thought were not possible to show. Bc as you know he's hilariously oblivious there about all of it and same as WWX for example do not even consider such possibility. But I think it's just bc it's not actual BL BL, it's a story where a couple naturally accidentaly came together and turned out to be both guys (even tho one was initially intende to be a girl xD), so its in general complicated. Wu Xie is just borderline lost at this point xD. It's like "Yeah, I want him... What do you mean as in dating? Whats that?". Or like:

- Want a wife?

- No, I want Xiaoge.

- As in you're gay?

- What's a gay?

That's basically how he rolls.

But I do love jealous Wu Xie, I think it's hilarious here, he's like somehow complitely okay with how idiotic he looks and that's very sweet haha.

P.S. "can't touch my piece of pizza" lmaoo well Xiaoge does look very delicious like Black Glasses says xD

P.P.S. all in all I really do not get how their censorship works in general at all. Like why Wangxian wedding bows were allowed, but other stuff don't? Or like I get like complimenting your bestie "you look hot in this" or "you're so pretty" or smth, but there's a difference between this and saying that their "lips look sweet"... like thats already another thing entirely. So at times I watch cdramas like... huh??? Maybe it depends on who checks it idk

[tiptapricot]

MK liveblog moments, The Goldfish Problem

Steven checks for footprints when getting up and winces at his ankle

I love Steven I love him so much

Oh my god episode one has so much foreshadowing

Wonder where Steven keeps his name tag when he’s at home bc he takes it from his chest pocket

I NEED to see the convo that happened w Dylan in a season two also she seems so fun

Taweret plushies my beloved

STEVEN CALLS DONNA CAP’N

I literally cannot see Steven as Oscar they just look diff it’s ridiculous

Ammit plushies :-)

GODD THE MUSIC IN EP ONE IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS

Steven already had a crush on Dylan n I’m just… thinking ab Jake or Marc setting that up for him again

The sound effects r so nice but on these speakers the dialogue is less crisp

Steven looks like he’s eating cereal while researching?

What is the origin of the staying awake thing like what is it for bc it sounds like it’s for somth paranormal

THE CUT FROM THE BED RO THE ALPS IS ALWAYS SO GOOD

Marc bestie whYYY did u jump out the window ily

Steven’s lips look nice w blood he should wear lipgloss

I wonder if Steven got shot while running away nnjust didn’t notice bc he was too scared

One of the ladies brings a dog to see harrow it’s v cute

Shaky cam following Steven is so gOood

“Call me Arthur” I’ll call u a bitch that’s what I’ll do fuck off

When harrow tells the lady he believes she’s been good but that the scales don’t lie it hits weird when u know he knows he’s unbalanced

I wonder where Marc n Harrow have met before. Like it had to b through or bc of Khonshu or somth with the avatar switch n I wanna know like… bc he doesn’t seem to have actually met met him so maybe he’s been watching the caped stories from afar?? V intriguing.

Steven’s lil eye crinklies :-)

The. Score. I’m. HMGGGHG.

I rlly wanna know which of the Alps switches r Marc vs Jake

Wham :-)

There should b more wham songs in MK and in action movies in general esp beyond Wake Me Up bc there’s some other fantastic songs

I’m glad that we see Steven swear normally bc it wouldn’t feel right if he didn’t

We need to hear him say fuck tho

I like that Khonshu’s voice always seems to be coming from above, like he’s in the overvoid

Oscar has such good acting in every ep but this one esp it’s like

He does such a good job w Steven’s panic

I hope Dylan n Steven get to b friends again

The failed date scene… aughhhhh

I NEED TO SEE

FRENCHIE

Call 32 looking at u so hard

Watching this on a big screen in a dark room truly brings out the creep factor n makes all the darker scenes so much more fun n dramatic

Also Steven mentions contacts which I assume he actually had w the glasses

Also fuck that lady in the elevator who freaked out from Steven just bc he was acting distressed

Also I wonder what Marc did that evening when he took back over for Steven

Also he dressed him in a flat shirt instead of a patterned one that’s such an interesting deet

Idk if I just dk how displays work but are the pillars in the gallery w Ammit on em like remakes or are those real n just not behind glass

Steven asks “are you going to kill me?” So plainly I love him. And hen Khonshu flickers the lights bc no way his avatar isn’t gonna die. Also the speech harrow gives Steven is ab Khonshu but it probably hits more like ab Marc to steven

Steven’s fingers twitch while harrow judges the body

THE PART WHERE HE LOOKS AT HIS REFLECTION N WALKS AWAY N IT DOESNT I LOVE THIS EP GODDDDD

I wonder if Steven watches horror or not I could see him being interested in the effects

I LOVE HOW OSCAR MAKES HIM MOVE N WALK ITS SO FUCKING HHHHHHGVBBB

His poor arm :-(

THE BATHROOM SCENE THE BATHROOM SCENE AHHHGGHHHGGHH

Ur not gonna die. Let me save us.

GOING OUT TO SPACE AHHHH

The way the bandages r hesitant n slow bc the switch is

The wedding ring being cracked in three haha Layla ur marrying three guys

Also didn’t realize the bullet hole in the glass in the credits has their face reflected in it

[pixcldust]

2 A.M. TEXTS

ft. miya atsumu, kuroo tetsuro, semi eita

with | gn!reader

warnings | swear words

a/n | NOT ME ACTING LIKE MY EXAMS ALREADY OVER 😹😹😹 n e ways have some hcs mwah ily drink some water

+ | tumblr is refusing to let me add a read more break without messing up the order/pics so please accept it without the break first 😰 i'll try to edit it in tomorrow bc it's 1am right now lmfaoo 🤪🤪

MIYA ATSUMU

• lowkey headcanon this guy to be kinda a night owl too

• like, unless he has a major game tomorrow, then he’ll probably be awake at 2am so feel free to shoot him a text

• but if you send him a “i cant sleep :(” then man’s gonna take it REAL far

• “my parents arent home rn so if you want to come over, i could help you… sleep ;))) ”

• STFUU 😩

• he might not even be h0rny, he’s just Like That

• that’s just his sense of humor 😭😭 yea it might be mine too shush

• you just wanted to chill and chat bc insomnia’s getting the best of you, so whY-

• but once you get past that, he’d actually be really pleasant to text with

• yall might even facetime just because

• there’s just SO MUCH to talk about???

• topics range from dumb pickup lines to Deep Talk

• ngl eventually you guys might make some secsi jokes,,,, its inevitable im sorry

• no im nOT a nsfw writer

• but it’s 2am ok the Early Morning High is bound to hit different

• “damn ok im on my way,,, get those cuffs ready babe😼😼”

• JDHDNDCJ????3!%;÷)÷*?

• FUCK, NEITHER OF YOU CAN TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

• ur neighbours: who tF is cackling like that at 3 in the morning????

KUROO TETSURO

• i think it’s 50/50 with this boy

• like he’s either still awake and reading like a nerddd or he’s fast asleep

• but if you do shoot him a text message, send him something random

• like out of nowhere, just “did you know some snails have hairy shells?”

• he’s got a quick response time (although not as fast as atsumu) so just wait a minute for him to pick up his phone

• OH AND send him a pic of the hairy shells!!

• “thanks! i hate it!!”

• you know he’s gonna reply with an equally weird fact

• kuroo has a fair share of general knowledge too so just go wild

• will not question why you’re on the wikipedia page for snails bc lbr, he’s been there before 😔

• such a funny sweetheart about your random messages

• also he’s be awake with you throughout, even if he gets a little sleepy 🥺🥺🥺

• sir,,, hand in marriage please,,,,,,

• but definitely will throw in a “y/n, it’s almost 3:30 pls get some sleep before class tomorrow”

• hm……. no.

• WAIT YOU SHOULD ASK TO CALL

• his deep, kinda rough voice at 2am because he hasn’t used it in the past two hours ,,,,, mmmmmm,,,,

• lowkey he might fall asleep on call 🙊

• pls forgive him he’s just a very big babie

SEMI EITA

• listen

• if you texted this man at 2am

• his immediate response would be “it’s too early y/n. go to sleep.”

• BOO 🍅 BORING ASS BIJ 🍅🍅

• jkjk i love him but yall gotta admit that he’d be all 🙄😐

• “ffs y/n, you have a class tomorrow at 8”

• “and??? your point?????”

• dw he’d just take a deep breath and be like omfg why am i in love with this idiot

• yes bby he loves you mwah

• when he gets past that tho,,,

• listening to music together on spotify 😳😳

• you guys would take turns choosing songs and it’d be so cutee

• yeah he’d be into,, idk alt rock or indie rock ?

• but he’s not an ASS, he’d be okay with indie pop and mainstream and whatever else is your fave genre

• in between, he’d be so down to hearing you talk about your hobbies or a show you’ve been watching

• and like,, he’ll tell you about how he’s writing a song or what funny thing happened in his class or during training

• UGH HE’S JUST SO FINE AND SO CUTE

• omg yall can video call and he’d share his screen

• both of you watching ghibli movies tgt at 3 in the morning : 🥰🥴

• it is just so peaceful being with this boy