#and idk why i feel that way but i love him

[dollyichi]

cola i beg i need ur h word powers rn any crumbs ily

m—dni / f ! reader

denki has a tip fetish. realized this when you were giving him a pussy job and really liked it when you teased him from the tip (ends up returning the favor). thus he tends to fuck you with only his tip ending up developing your entrance to be extra sensitive. every time he gets to fuck you, you’re already gushing around him especially when he hits that sweet spot. it’s insane how he’s not even fully bottomed out and you’re still squirming like crazy. you love the feeling of him fully inside though. even if you begged him he’d ignore your pleas and continue to fuck you the way he wants—only if you move your hips yourself and lead his cock further in, that’s when he can’t refuse. “baby~ you’re so cute you just wanna dirty my cock huh?”

eijirou’s the complete opposite, he’s always desperate to want to ‘push it harder’ inside, it’s never complete when you’re not filled to the brim of him. the first time he ever begged for it you didn’t understand what he meant, “p-push hard?” light headed and confused. he’d reply with a breathy and happy “thank you princess.” sounding relieved—immediately thrusting in balls deep and that’s how you found out what ‘push it harder’ meant. he always asks if he could, which makes him such a sweetheart, though he gets too excited to wait for your answer (not like you minded). his movements are always hard and deep, but he looks like he’s always melting when you’re letting him hold you. though he’s weakness is always when you’re so tight around him he might just cum right there. “s’good so fucking tight-! n-no baby i’m too sensitive i-it’s not fair.”

do not copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost my works

note : i hope u like this babe! idk why i ended up writing this (though denki is an obvious choice) kisskiss!!

[xenteaart]

the hard way

pairing: vampire!chris x to be vampire!reader genre/warnings: dark romance, mean chris, angst? kinda dead dove, mentions of death, blood and a lil gore (not too graphic tho imo), it's okay in the end??? and they're in love plot: reader is getting turned into a vampire and it's not as cool as she imagined author’s note: obvsly heavily inspired by railway and that SPITTING SCENE. idk it's prolly gonna flop but i wanted to picture that process and a not so hot side of it

“no.” “why not?!” “because i told you so a million times already. we’re not discussing this.” chris spits out and furrows, growing more agitated with each passing second.

“what, you don’t want me to be equal to you?” you ponder desperately while your mind searches for any, any reason at all as to why chris won’t turn you. it’s been getting to you for the last couple of months, and you’re sure you’ve gone through every possible explanation your troubled brain could come up with: he doesn’t love you. he doesn’t wanna spend eternity with you. or maybe it’s a power thing. or, or, or...? this endless cycle of worry and uncertainty has been keeping you on edge for way too long to think clearly now. “gosh, it has nothing to do with equality,” he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “what is it then?” “drop it.” you snap. “we’ll have to find out the hard way, then.”

you grab the nearest kitchen knife, and it turns out to be the one you use for cutting meat, a chef’s knife as they call it. how fitting. chris barely has enough time to catch up with your madness infused impulse, and when he turns his gaze back to you, the knife is already deep in your guts.

you thought it was gonna be romantic or somewhat dramatic at least. something from the movies where he sinks his vampire teeth into your neck, and just like magic — your eyes flash bright red, announcing the beginning of a new life.

“you dumb bitch,” he exhales shakily and somehow manages to catch you in time because the sharp pain in your stomach makes you lose your balance instantly. you’re still bitter and angry in the heat of the argument and you expect him to be the same way, but when you glance up, chris looks nothing but panicked. “that’s a new look on him,” you think, and it confuses you.

chris growls and sinks to his knees, carefully holding you and trying to move as fast as possible. what you don’t know is that turning can only be done in around thirty seconds since fatal injury. that might explain the rushing and chris’s pure bambi eyes panic but your consciousness is already starting to drift away to hold onto that train of thought.

chris bites into his wrist with unmasked fury, tearing and ripping his own veins even though using a knife would have been much cleaner. probably less painful, too. “swallow. now! come on, don’t you fall asleep on me now, focus!” he grabs your face and presses hard on the jaw joints, making you open your mouth like a puppet doll.

the sickly metallic taste of your own blood at the back of your throat from the internal bleeding mixes up with chris’s thick blood that he generously spits into your mouth, and you want to throw up. your head feels dizzy as your eyelids are getting heavier, your hearing suddenly fails completely as if someone turned the volume down from ten to zero. limbs are falling weak, and the pins and needles in them are so, so far from pleasant.

the thing about turning is... you actually have to die first. be fully, completely gone to be able to come back changed and corrupted, turned to the extent of your DNA having been violently rewritten. that you did not think through enough. the muscles in your throat contract almost on reflex, swallowing and gagging on the gooey salty substance, making your chest heave while coughing strangles you further. the tingles and nausea are so overwhelming and all consuming you actually catch yourself thinking dying would be a relief now. and then it follows as you wished.

you doze off for god knows how long but, by the looks of it, it can’t have been more than a few minutes because as you regain consciousness, chris is still looming over you, his own blood fresh on his lips. he’s blurry, though, everything is.

“come on, suck on me. c’mon, baby, there we go,” he coos as he brings his wrist to your lips, forcefully pressing it into your mouth and leaving you with little to no choice. the phrasing, unlike usual, doesn’t sound dirty or hot now, more like a life-saving command while you’re still so out it. it feels good, though, chris’s blood.

it doesn’t taste so metallic and gross anymore, and the texture feels almost soothing on your dry throat, like hot honey milk on a friday evening. suck, gulp, suck, gulp, suck, it almost lulls you back into serenity, some primal instinct of being attached to your only life line, finding comfort in someone’s warmth and touch and taste.

you wonder how much you’ve drunk already and whether chris will have anything left but you’re so, so thirsty you can’t even bring yourself to care.

what finally makes you stop is the sudden sharp ache in your gums. it feels so piercing the aftershocks are almost reaching your brain and eye sockets, and as you feel your old teeth fall out, a pair of longer fangs cuts through and settles into the upper teeth row. hot tears are stinging your eyes and you whine like a wounded deer, still unable to speak properly. it’s all too much, and you start to regret what you’ve done, and maybe, just maybe that’s why chris so passionately refused to put you through it. this kind of hunger and the animalistic, blood thirst driven rage were never something he wanted to inflict upon you.

your entire body is shaking but it’s not really a fearful tremor, more like restlessness, a new sort of “itch” somewhere deep, deep inside that you’ve never experienced before, the feeling so intense and soul wrenching you simply can’t disobey it. it makes you want to jump up and run.

“don’t worry, i’ll teach you how to handle it.” chris cups your face after taking off his leather gloves so you can feel the comfort of his actual skin. the touch is calming, but barely enough compared to that growing desire and need to satisfy the itch. “you stupid crazy cunt, why do you never listen,” he whispers into your forehead, his lips lightly brushing over your cold sweat covered skin, as he holds you closer, squeezing you against his chest in a protective manner, though the real danger to yourself is now planted within you.

[sturnioloszn]

BY THE FIREPLACE - M.S

summary; you've always wanted to make love by the fireplace, and matt is more than happy to fulfil your wish.

warnings; smut, unprotected sex (wrap the willy), dry humping if u squint, praising, that's it..?

a/n; idk if i hate this lmaoo I think i do, but oh well. also, my suggestions r still open, so pls feel free to leave some!

The small crackles and pops of the burning wood was the only noise that could be heard, and other than that, silence filled the warm atmosphere.

Looking towards the large, condensed windows, the view of a snowy forest stared back at me, making me appreciate the warmth the fire was providing. Sitting by a fireplace with nothing but my thoughts and raw emotions is my idea of a perfect Christmas Eve.

I pulled my knees closer to my chest, continuing to admire the way the flames danced but was broken from my trance when I heard the bed behind me shift. The old, wooden floorboards creaked with each of his heavy footsteps. Eventually, he slumped his body on the ground next to me.

"Why are you still up?" Matt mumbled from next to me, rubbing his eyes and resting his head on my shoulder. I bring my hand up to his dishevelled hair and slowly rake my hand through it, letting his head sink further into my shoulder.

"I'm too happy to go sleep," I laugh under my breath, even though it's true. I can't believe I'm spending Christmas with my boyfriend and his family; when MaryLou invited me over for the holidays, I never imagined I'd be in a cosy winter cabin on Christmas Eve.

I glance down to Matt, who is peering down into his lap.

"You okay?" I question, thinking he's probably still tired. He lifts his head from my shoulder and looks at me with a sly grin, causing me to smile wider.

"What?" I ask, confused on what we're smiling about. He reaches for my hand closest to him and pulls it to his clothed dick letting his bulge grow under my touch. I suck in a quick breath, trying not to become flustered by his simple actions but failing miserably.

He keeps his eyes locked on my face, ensuring that I want the same. I grab hold of his hand and pull it towards me, slipping it beneath my plaid pyjama bottoms, letting him feel my damp thong.

Nothing is said, but the mutual need for each other that lingers in the air speaks more than words could.

We inch closer until our lips finally meet.

He removes his hand from my pyjama bottoms and brings it to cup the side of my face. Our lips move in sync as the heat and tension between us grows.

Without breaking our contact, I move my legs so that I'm comfortably straddling his lap, and his hands fly to my waist the moment I start softly grinding on his hardened cock.

I feel the universe slipping away as I lose myself in him. It was just me and him; together.

I pull away from his lips, a string of saliva connecting us still. I'm completely consumed by him, and I'm too far gone to stop now.

"You know... I've always wanted to make love by the fireplace," I whisper, moving closer to his ear so that he'd be the only one to hear my dirty secret. I then softly kiss at his sweet spot just below his ear.

He groans but making sure to still steadily rock my hips on his cock. By now, I'm sure I've left a wet patch on his matching pyjama bottoms, but my attention is completely absorbed by the feeling of my clit rubbing on his length.

Out of nowhere, he tightens his grip on me and flips me over so that my back is flush against the wooden floors. He hovers above me, his silver chain dangling from his neck. I pull on his chain, bringing his lips to mine again.

The kiss becomes more heated as I feel him shift to pull his pants and boxers down just enough so that his cock springs free. I briefly pull away to slide my own bottoms and panties down my legs.

He stares at my slick folds in awe, knowing that he was the only one who could ever get me in this state.

He moves his arm so that it's next to my head, his hand cradling my face. While his other hand reached down between us to grab hold of his stiff member, pumping it a few times, letting drops of pre-cum gather at his tip.

He then brings it to my cunt, rubbing it between my wet folds painfully slow.

"Matt..." I warned. I needed him so bad and had no patience left for any of this, I just needed to feel him inside me.

"Shittt, you're soaking," he mutters to himself, finally bringing his tip to my entrance. Rutting his hips forward, I feel him finally stretching my warmth out.

Matt keeps pushing himself deeper until he's balls deep, covering his length completely in my wetness. His steadily pulls out and slowly pushes back in, filling me perfectly.

"Fuck. You're s-so perfect," He moans, dropping his head to my chest.

Something I adored about Matt was the way he could always tell whether I wanted my brains fucked out or if I needed him deep and slow. He didn't just care about himself and his own pleasure, and it's always evident.

He continued to slowly thrust his hips into me, making sure I felt every single inch. The heat in my stomach intensified, highlighting that my orgasm was building up.

"Matt. Matt, I'm gonna come," I whine, tapping his bicep. He reaches down between us and rapidly swipes his thumb over my clit causing me to moan even louder.

"Shhh, can't wake the others up, sweetheart," Matt hushes, moving his hand to cover my mouth to prevent more noises from spilling out. His hips snapped quicker, indicating he was also chasing his orgasm.

Low grunts fell from his lips and muffled moans from mine. My back arched from the floor, and my head fell further back, catching a glimpe of the clock hung on the wall above us.

Right before my euphoria could crash over me, through my watery eyes, I watched the clock strike midnight, and I crumbled. I harshly grabbed onto Matt's wrist, pressing his hand into my mouth harder so that hopefully nobody would hear the immense amount of pleasure I was currently receiving.

Matt quickly pulled out from my dripping pussy and jerked his now slick cock until thick, white cum shot from his red tip, landing on my bare thigh. He moaned loud enough for only me to hear, letting his spent cock rest on my thigh after he milked himself of all his fluid.

Our bodies relax against each other as we enjoy the haze that our highs brought. His head was still buried in my neck, and his heavy pants dressed my skin.

"Merry Christmas, Matt," I giggle, barely having any breath left in my lungs to speak. He lifts his head from my body and looks up at the clock I was previously looking at and smiling when he noticed it was just past midnight.

"Merry Christmas, baby," He smiles, placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

a/n; this might be the last fic for the year, but if i'm feeling motivated enough, I'll try to get one more out, lmao, but don't count on it pls 😭

Taglist; @idrk2292 @clairesxo @moonlightsturns @045696 @forgottxen @mattsturniolover @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @chrissturniolodailysluts @sturnobsessedwh0re

[sturn5iolo]

DREAM MAKER & HEARTBREAKER

synopsis: chris had been ignoring you so you show up to a party looking for him, just for him to be with another girl.

pairing: frat boy! chris sturniolo x f!reader

warnings: drinking, angstish??, “no strings attached”relationship, not proofread

mellys note!!: this plot came up in my head while i listened to the song “moon river” by frank ocean… why?? idk? so enjoy

the sound of music blasted in your ears. you were at a frat party, mainly for chris. you knew he was going to be there. you and chris have been an off and on situationship, you knew you loved him. but did he love you?

you walked around trying to look for him, sparing a “hi” to anybody who came up to you but quickly walking away. you were so desperate to find chris because he had been ignoring you for a good few days and something in you made you feel weird. a pit in your stomach bothering you, telling you to look for him.

passing through all the drunken people who stench of alcohol and weed, you finally made it to the living room. your eyes wandered until it made it to the couch. there was chris.

but he wasn’t alone, a skinny brunette girl sat on his lap. her fingers ran through his hair, her other hand resting on his chest as he whispered something in her ear that caused her to laugh. you saw the way his lips tickled her ear, the way his hands stayed on her thighs and the way they laughed and conversed together.

jealousy started seeping out of you, but you stayed in place. your teeth dug into the insides of your cheek and your eyes watered. why were you so upset about this? you question in your head over and over.

you quickly pivot and start to go towards the kitchen counter. there you start to mix all types of drinks into a red solo cup, not even caring about how you will feel the next day. all that you could think about was chris and the random girl.

the alcohol went down your throat quickly and gave you a quick burning sensation. you winced at the taste but you just wanted the drunk feeling.

1 drink turned into 3 into 5 into too many you forgot to count. after taking probably your 9th cup, you hear someone talk to you. “think you’ve had enough?” a deep voice spoke, you look to your side, it was one of chris’ frat brothers. “ohhh heyyy! honestly no i think i need more.” you hiccup out.

before you can grab a cup, chris’ frat bro takes it away. “nope chris will kill me if i let you.” you roll your eyes, “ugh why should he care! he’s with that other girl.” the guy looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed and then chuckles, “damn girl your wasted.”

not even letting him say something else, you turn around and start walking away, not wanting to continue this conversation. somehow you made it outside, the cold wind hit you like the speed of light making you shiver a bit. you sit down on the curb of the sidewalk.

“need some company?” a familiar voice questioned you, chris. your roll your eyes once again and choose to ignore him. you hear him grunt as he sits next to you, “what do you want?” you slur. “well i heard your drunk and alone so i knew i had to find you.”

you twist your head and look at him. you haven’t seen him up close in a few days so you take in his features, and the way they glow by the moonlight. “whatever, go back to that girl you were with.” you whisper but he had still heard you. chris’ tongue glides over his teeth as he nods. “what you jealous?”

you scoff at him, “of course i was chris…how could you ignore me for days then go off flirting with her.” you say “we aren’t official..” chris tries defending himself.

at this point your speechless, you knew he was right so what’s the point on fighting back on this? you both go quiet not having anything else to say to each other.

you stand up very quickly, making you wobble a bit almost losing your balance. “welp im going to head back home! no point of having me here.” you quietly say the last part. chris stands up with you, “did you drive here yourself?” he questions you genuinely curious. you nod at him and try to walk away.

chris grabs your arm, “then no your not. you’re not driving back yourself.” you groan at him, “im not going anywhere with you?!” crossing your arms and standing in place. he rolls his eyes at you and bends his knees. you look at him confused until you feel yourself being lifted off the ground. the quick action made you dizzy, chris held you bridal style and started walking towards his car.

“put me down!” you whined out to him, but he ignored you. unlocking his car and putting you in the passenger seat. he reached over and grabbed the seatbelt buckling you in, “your so damn stubborn all the time jesus.”

[omgsecretsecret]

I don't want to go ! Part 2

Pairing : Lee Minho x gn!reader ; established relationship

Genre : angsty, hurt/comfort, fluffy ending

Word count : about 930

Warnings : phobia of needles ; crying ; panick attack ig (idk if it's exactly one)

Author's note : I'm so sorry for taking so much time to post it but it's out now for Christmas (btw merry christmas to everybody who celebrates it and happy day to everyone doesn't <3) ; lots of love and bisous to @giddyfatherchris for helping me ; the pics on top are not mine, credits to the owners

Request : « Can you do a part 2 of the don't want to go lee known fic, where lee know comforts the character while getting a shot, the character cries too, maybe puts up a fight because she doesn't want to get a shot? Lee know tries to keep distracted. » by @200billionlightyearsaway

Masterlist || Part 1

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Honestly, you are happy to have Minho with you, his presence is always reassuring. But at the same time, it's so embarrassing. How could a grown-up like you need their boyfriend to go to the doctor? You feel so childish.

You don't notice the way he's looking at you with slight concern, but you do feel him taking your hand. You smile at him and he simply squeezes your hand. You give your name to the secretary for the appointment, then go in the waiting room. Everything seems so slow, you feel like you're waiting forever. Why are doctors always late?

When you are finally called, you don't even know if you are relieved to leave the room full of sick people or if you want to run away even more. You tense up as you enter the medical room and Minho's hold on your hand tightens.

It's like you're not completely there when the doctor asks a few questions, letting Minho answer as you try to handle the anxiety threatening to overwhelm you. You feel so stupid. Why are you so damn scared of a simple fucking needle ?

Minho has to call your name three times to finally get you to react. You blink a few times before slowly getting up, your movement almost shaky. Your body feels weak as you walk to the examination chair and you are just unable to let go of your boyfriend's hand. The sound of your own heartbeat pulsing in your ears and your already heavy breathing covers everything else around you. You can't see the look of worry on Minho's face as your eyes get glassy, but when you hear the doctor pulling out the needle, you break down.

You instinctively grip his arm as you can't hold back the tears that immediately fill your eyes, looking up at him with genuine distress. You can't do this. You don't know why you react so strongly, but you just can't keep it together. You suddenly start crying, pulling on Minho's arm and messily begging him to get you out of here. You don't care about what the doctor might think of you anymore, all you want is to go home.

"Baby, baby... It's okay. Calm down, love. Just calm down. he whispers sweetly as he cups your face and crouches down to be at your eye level, but it doesn't help.

— No it's not ! I can't just fucking calm down ! You think I do this on purpose ? You think it's easy ? I can't –"

You want to keep talking, keep telling him how you feel, how wrong he is, but you can't. A loud sob interrupts you and you just can't speak anymore. You cower down and cover your face as you cry, attempting in vain to suppress your sobs. Of course you know you should calm down, of course you know your reaction is disproportionate, but you can't control it.

Minho's heart clenches at the sight. He hates seeing you in this state, but it's not like he's going to blame you. He lets out a soft, pained sigh before carefully wrapping his arms around you. He holds you gently, with all the love of a man who only wants to comfort his partner.

You bury your face into his neck, shaky hands coming up to clutch his shirt lightly. He doesn't say a word, simply holding you close and rubbing your back. In a last surge of resistance, you weakly whisper that you want to leave, even trying to get up but it's halfhearted. You know you have to take that damn shot. Minho just keeps you there when you try to move, pressing you against his chest.

"Baby ? You're going to get the shot okay ? You can do it, baby. I won't let go of you, I'll be right there. You can cling on me all you want. But we have to do it, okay ?" he whispers softly without pulling away.

You don't reply, don't nod, but your lack of protests serves as a silent agreement. Minho kisses your forehead lightly in encouragement before looking at the doctor and nodding for her to go ahead. He talks you through it, keeps you close and lets you squeeze him, not even reacting when you dig your nails into his shoulder.

The doctor puts down the empty needle, patiently waiting for you both to be done. Minho tries to be a bit quick as to not make her wait too much, but still takes his time to make sure that you're fine.

"Are you okay kitten ?" he asks softly, watching as you nod weakly.

He presses a small, tender kiss to your lips before turning to the doctor, keeping your hand in his. You hear him apologize to the doctor, but she's quick to reassure him. Kids are way worse, and we can't control our phobias. Minho gives her a soft smile before paying, grateful for her understanding.

He looks at you again and his gaze softens with love when his eyes meet yours. You look drained, exhausted even, and honestly you are. He helps you get up, bows towards the doctor and leads you out. He holds your hand all the way to the car, only letting go when you are settled in your seat so he can go to his own.

"You're okay. he says softly.

— I love you. you reply and he chuckles at the suddenness of the declaration, a mix of amusement and fondness filling his heart.

— Me too, kitten. So much." He whispers before kissing you gently.

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do not repost, translate or rewrite without my written authorisation

[s0fter-sin]

idk why it wouldn’t let me answer this @kissmesharman but i absolutely love this, ghost not knowing how to process his omegan traits, to allow himself to be the one who is vulnerable and be protected instead of protecting is so ‼️ being soft, being open and accepting always came with consequences; it was always met with pain and betrayal and you only have to learn a lesson so many times before it sticks

the insidious ways roba and his ilk tried to force him into complacency, using their pheromones and rumbling and scruffing to trick his instincts into submitting- all they did was make ghost bury his omega so deep inside, he almost laughed at the irony of his own burial. even after he’s exhumed, he doesn’t hear it for years; naturally doesn’t heat even without suppressants, doesn’t purr, doesn’t feel that innate safety an alpha’s presence is supposed to bring

just being near other designations calms you down, whether they’re family, pack or even strangers thrown together in too-cramped barracks. it levels out your hormones, gives you people to act your instincts out on, and it’s never a surprise to walk into the cherries’ barracks and find them all tucked inside the resident omega’s nest; discordant purrs and chuffs layering over each other, too-big feet tangled together, still young enough for the milky smell of pup to cling to the edges of their scent especially clumped together like this. a lot of them won’t make it through selection, won’t find pack in each other but it’d be cruel to strip them of this simple comfort

ghost hasn’t stepped inside a nest in almost a decade

hasn’t felt the desire to build up softness and safety, to spread that feeling of home to the 141 even after he admits to himself that they’re pack. even after months of rejection - growling at soap’s happy chuffs whenever he saw him, pumping off bitterly aggressive pheromones to drown out gaz’s pack?home?safe?good? scent until he knew the beta felt sick with the sour poison, avoiding price whenever he was in pre-rut despite it being the most tempting and warm time of year for an omega to be near an alpha, those days before the terrible need when alphas are all affection, rut drunk with the happiness and safety of pack - they still welcomed him with open arms and bared necks as if he were a second pack alpha and not an omega

he’ll posture and loom over any unfamiliar presence, anyone that could potentially be a threat to his pack; his growls a thunderous undercurrent that shakes the very ground and makes anyone who hears it submit on instinct. soap and gaz happily submit to him; almost vibrating in place when he scents them, enduring their appeasing nibbles and licks at his hidden mouth, falling to heel whenever he decides to take over a situation. price shows it in other ways; nose blind after too many breaks and too many cigars, he lets ghost gentle him when his stress reaches its peak, hangs his head and just breathes as ghost threads his fingers together and cups them around his neck, squeezing his scent glands with his palms. ghost bumps their temples together and they’ll just stand there until the burnt scent of tension leaks out of the air

they’re not shy with their submission until most people just assume ghost’s an alpha based purely on the actions of his pack

they’ll never point it out, but the 141 has never suffered for lack of a pack nest. bc ghost unknowingly makes individual nests wherever they go

he’ll push soap into the comfiest sofa cushion after scoping out a safe house, tug gaz’s jacket straight when he uses it as a pillow and eye mask in one, pace in front of the bedroom price claimed to ensure his pack alpha is safe inside his den. he divies out rations, always opens them and switches the desserts so gaz and soap don’t argue over who got the better one; takes the instinctual first bite of anything scavenged or hunted to know it’s safe just to wait until everyone’s done eating and full before taking his own portion. they all present themselves for ghost’s inspection after missions; lets him run his hands and nose over them to check for injuries and it’s ghost who more often than not ends up taking care of them instead of sending them down to medical

they’ll never tell him, never make him face his own behaviour before he’s ready to come to terms with it himself. as much as ghost’s convinced himself otherwise, his omega is alive and well and his pack will welcome his shy return whenever he feels ready to step back into the light

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Talking with @respectthepetty about the finale, and I think I've figured out my biggest sticking point.

We see the incredible care and love that Kan shows his patients, and Tew's mom in particular. We see him ask her for confirmation multiple times. He brushes her hair, asks her if she has any worries, promises to take care of Tew for her.

He calls her Mom. She cradles his cheek. He sits with her while she falls asleep.

We see this scene play out, we feel Kan's compassion for her, we feel his need to help.

And when he and Tew have their confrontation, he says all of this. He talks about how much it hurts to see people struggle with unbearable pain, how the system doesn't care about how well or how poorly people are living, doesn't care about what people want for their life. He gives an impassioned defense of the need for euthanasia to be made legal.

He tells Tew that his mother died the way she wanted to, that she passed peacefully and on her terms. He tells him that she wanted him to be happy.

And we don't see Tew truly understand any of that. We don't get to see him even really process any of it.

I didn't need or expect Tew to become a supporter of euthanasia, or to even fully forgive and understand what Kan did and why he did it. But it seems like what we got instead was Tew accepting his feelings for Kan, and acknowledging that.

So that "I love you" felt... Misplaced.

What good does a confession do when you've got the man you're in love with handcuffed, on your way to turn him into the police.

(The confrontation itself was beautifully done and it hurt all my feelings. But I'm not sure it was in the right place? There was no room to see them struggling with and processing it. Kan's sad nod of acknowledgement and no response was the correct response, but it was also mine, quick I think is not the desired effect.)

Also, Kan volunteerimg to turn himself in, without arguing for his patients who need him -- in his hospital that is desperately short staffed, in which he is the only palliative care doctor; a point that has been made over and over in the series -- also felt off.

I would've been happier with an ambiguous ending, maybe even the exact same one, where we didn't see the cuffs, and weren't sure what was next for them.

(from my understanding, this is basically the opposite of the source material? There's also the comments from the screenwriter that have kind of left an annoyed filter over all my thoughts about the show, but I digress)

Honestly, I may have been okay(er) with the outcome if we had had more of their relationship development on screen, more of them trying to understand each other (that felt very one sided in the end).

Idk.

The show was beautiful, beautifully acted, and had some very important things to say, and it made its arguments well considering the lines they had to tow. But the politics and the moral struggle of the show were embodied in Kan and Tew, and the culmination of that struggle feels like it wasn't given enough space.

[horrorknife]

honestly, i feel like this little conversation is them briefly acknowledging the pregnancy together. i love the shot composition here, the way it foreshadows jimmy's actions by having the mouthwash bottle cover him up. BUT ALSO...

jimmy: You thinking about drinking that too? anya: Honestly, yeah. anya: It'd probably just make me feel sick. anya: Wouldn't fix anything. anya: As much as I'd like it to. jimmy: Right.

it comes across to me as though this is less about her getting drunk and more about "would it kill/hurt the baby? and does that really matter right now with everything else going on?" which also ties in to how i don't think anya's completion of suicide was necessarily intentional, i think (based on the way she speaks to jimmy and daisuke through the door) that her intention was to Abort That Thang. she obviously knew the risk and that she could die as well but i'm not sold on the fact that she was simply going to kill herself.

she also doesn't give jimmy a chance to say much in response--he gets out "right" and she instantly topic switches to the medicine locker in the hallway. jimmy's extremely mild about all of this because like. he's had time to think about the pregnancy situation. Obviously. it's just interesting to me that he is so horrified of the pregnancy while anya is trying to find ways to cope with it. and they both have to go through every single day post crash knowing that it exists and is there. ughhhhh idk where im even going with this i just. WHY DOESNT ANYONE TALK ABOUT THE WAY THESE TWO INTERACT????? it's so fucking interesting and i'm so tired of all portrayals detailing how "scared" anya is of jimmy--jimmy's the one afraid of anya. anya simply deals with jimmy and only really gets Scared of him if he starts acting like a freak. on a base level they do just kind of get along.

[idcbabyialreadylostmymind]

•Making Amends

MelJay x reader

Synopsis: You and Jayce just can’t seem to get along and Mel can’t have that.

CW- Jayce&Reader and Mel’s lovers, lowk cringe, alcohol, Mostly Jayce but does have Mel :), hella ooc Jayce, voyeur Mel, a small lil strip scene, sex, multiple positions, edging, masterbation, size kink? (Idk) mentioned like once, feels rushed to me but it was getting to long 😭

A/N- started ts last month and I know this gonna flop 😭

Jayce walked through the tall golden doors that lead to Mel’s room. He held a small prototype he and Viktor had been working on for a while and he wanted to be the first to show it to her. But to his surprise when he walks in there you are in front of Mel sitting pretty on her piano and even more Mel already had the prototype praising you for bringing it to her.

“Well hello Jayce,” Mel gets up patting your thigh before she moves to Jayce giving him a small peck on the cheek. “She was just showing me something you and Viktor have been working on.” She quirks a brow and smirks as she sees you watching them. “Yes, how did you get this?” Jayce asked you, eyeing you up and down as you smiled leaning back giving him a better view of your dress that showed more of your body than cover. “I have my ways.” He should have known Viktor has always had a soft spot for you. He sniffs as he shoves his prototype in his back pocket. “Of course.” He scoffs just before you can bite back at him Mel raises a hand silencing both of you. She walked to the steps that led to her bedroom sitting on them before addressing you two.

“Why is it you two must always bicker when I’m around or even when I’m not.”

Jayce and you both got choked up, glancing at each other before looking back at Mel. “Is it that you two don't like each other? Because we can’t have that”

Jayce raises his eyebrows in surprise, getting ready to answer before you just had to come in and save the day. “Oh no my lady,” you crouch to the ground, grabbing her hand gently. “Don’t you strain yourself with worry, me and Jayce just have a few disagreements he can’t seem to work on.” You clenched your words at the last bit, making Mel wonder. Jayce was infuriated, “You’re just going to act like you don’t start half of the arguments that come about.” Jayce began hounding in on you as you; however you glared at him envy was all that was found in your eyes and maybe a little something else. “How you always try to one up me in front of Mel—“

“That’s quite enough.” Mel put a pause on the explosive argument ahead.

Mel was quite shocked she didn’t even realize the tension that grew between her and her lovers as she was too busy being well, loved.

But when she looked up at both of you it was quite a shock, both of you looked at her in a way she never realized as if she were the sun and moon. And then she realized all those times Jayce presented something before you just for you to present something ten times greater; and so on and so on. Then it clicked that you two were in a competition; for her approval. Her cheeks heated up, she had never felt so wanted in her entire life, her body felt tingling seeing you two stand up in front of her waiting at her beck and call, seeming to do anything she says. “I think I found the best way to solve these disagreements you two have.”

╰─────╯

“You want us to do what?” Jayce was surprised at Mel’s request. “I want you two to make love in front of me. It’s the only thing that will settle this tension. For you to feel each other so intimately it would be out of this world. And also I just want to watch.” She was listing all the facts on why you and Jayce should have sex she looked over to you, quiet as a mouse.

She could practically feel the warmth your body gives off, how your thighs clench whenever she even mentions Jayce fucking you. It seems Jayce hadn’t noticed though, oblivious as always. “What do you think, y/n.” Mel cuts Jayces insistent questions off and all the attention goes to you. Your throat was so dry you didn’t even know if you could speak the syllables all caught up in your mouth, your tongue felt like jelly and an unwelcome heat burned between your thighs.

“Would it make you happy?” Out of everything that has happened today that was what shocked Jayce the most. Mel didn’t even answer you, only standing up and wasting up the steps waiting at the top for her two lovers.

╰─────╯

She held both of your hands as she led you through the candle lit room, following her like Eurydice followed Orpheus but she did not look back leaving her two lovers in an anxious condition. Jayce looked over towards you and saw a woman he’d never seen before. You looked so malleable, so obedient. He looked you up and down wetting his bottom lip before looking in front of him, at Mel.

You had made it to her room. You’d both been in it before just not with each other. You were nervous, stressed and worse of all horny.

You couldn’t believe you were going to let Jayce motherfucking Talis fuck you, the man of progress was about to fuck you. You began to breathe heavily, you concealed your nerves before looking at the other two who sat on a small white couch, Jayce sat up like a prude, legs together back straight, hands in his lap. It would have been funny if it weren’t for the predicament.

Mel handed the male a glass of wine but none for you. You puff at that, putting your arms across your chest. “Y/n doesn’t know how not to be a brat, but” Mel begins glancing at Jayce before looking at you before you could say anything she continues, “She makes up for it, in other ways.” Any words or retaliation you had dissipated as soon as those words left Mel’s mouth.

“Like how she looks when she undresses, Y/N give us a demonstration.” It wasn't you to look at her with wide eyes, it was Jayce. She took another sip looking down at Jayce’s untouched glass. “Drink up Jayce you're gonna need it with this one. She really has no sense of respect.” She laughs seeing you slip the all too tight dress off of your body that Jayce never did appreciate. Your breasts were shown first, nipples already hardened from the cold air and Jayce felt like he’d been sent to heaven, had you always had those?

“Doesn’t she look so pretty?” Mel asked, of course you did, you were more than pretty but saying that would give you an even bigger head so Jayce just sat back, spreading his legs with the top of his button shirt undid he took a sip of his wine only lifting the side of his mouth as his answer. Mel couldn’t help but smile at the little game you had still happened moments before you have intercourse. To connect in such an intimate manner well Mel just couldn’t wait.

You slide it down all the way showing off your bare skin, no underwear. Jayce’s grip got impossibly tight on the glass; he was surprised it didn’t break before he gulped all of its contents. You would wait as long as Mel wanted but you were starting to get bored. “So are we getting started this century. Or does the man of progress need time to y’know progress.” You pointed down before laughing. Mel couldn’t keep a little giggle and Jayce just smiles before getting up leaving his glass on the floor. “You’re right Mel, she really doesn’t have any respect.” Jayce laughed grabbing you by the side of your neck pulling you closer his eyebrows creased upward with a smile, “She’ll get some though.”

╰─────╯

Jayce fucked you hard, your eyes rolled to the back of your head in annoyance and pleasure, he bullied your sweet spot bruising it with such force. A sheer gleam of sweat shines on your skin in the humid room. He squeezes your waist as he drags you back, your smooth skin recoiling with every thrust he delivers. Jayce flicks his tongue, his abs flexing as he holds your back down making your arch higher with one hand and pushing your head down with the other.

Mel watched from across the room a devious smirk on her face as she watched the mean strokes Jayce gives you. How your bodies mold together as he fucks you, your hips rolling back every so often; you can peak up through the mattress looking up through wet lashes at the watching woman. She couldn’t lie and say this is the wettest she’s ever been her two lovers fucking as she gawks at them in the most intimate ways.

You reach out for Mel, crying out for her. “Mel, M–Mel,” you squeak with every thrust delivered to your pussy. The Medarda looked in wonder as you cried out for her whimpering and whining like a puppy that had just been kicked, how that made Jayce go even faster as if he was punishing you for even speaking. She’d never seen this version of either of you. Jayce always touched her as if she were delicate, soft just how she liked it with him. And you well you were like a hound dog when you got her in bed. Never had she seen you in such a mess, palming the bedsheets, clenching your jaws to keep the screams of ecstasy at bay in the back of your throat. Tears drenched your face, lips quivering as you still cried out for her. Your cries and whines were only drowned out by Jayce’s degrading words. “Always acting like a fucking bitch, your my bitch now aren’t you?”

She gets up from her seat setting her wine glass down the glass clicking against the table just as her heels clink against the floor as she drags her feet to be in front of you. She lifts your face, cradling your cheeks, wiping your drenched cheeks. “Why are you crying for me dear?” She asked in faux concern Jayce fucking you with so much force you swished back and forth. “I’m not the one fucking you.” She said watching you slip into a chaotic storm of ecstasy. Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull, you couldn’t hold the screams in anymore as desperate pleas for him to stop, go, harder, slower. You didn’t even know what you wanted.

Jayce slowed squishing you into the mattress with his body mass, calloused hands finding their way between your legs immediately latching to the little bud. Your legs buckle trying to move your hips but Jayce is too big. He could squish you to death and you both knew it which was what made it so much more hot. His breath fanned the back of your neck, worked up sweat dripped from both of your sticky skin stuck together as he played with your cunt. “Make up your mind, y/n” he spoke in a harsh tone as if he was scolding you. It made your pussy flex.

He stopped playing with you for a second, his pupils dilated, and got impossibly hard. You liked being told what to do, you like him telling you what to do. Getting up you gasped in full gasps of air just for them to be knocked out by Jayce’s full force thrust. You cried out in pleasure looking up at Mel who had watched the whole thing face flustered and legs intertwined. You smile as Jayce pulls you up on his cock, changing the angle of his cock in you it was so heavenly. He held you in place with his arm across your throat making sure you could breath before fucking you without remorse.

“Don’t cum until he tells you.” Mel whispers trying not to lose composure. You listen to her trying to hold the crashing waves of pleasure back as hard as you can. But it’s not easy with Jayce fucking you harder than anyone has every, and you love it. You looked over at Mel. She was disheveled as if she needed just a little push over the edge. You hold onto Jayce’s forearm as he bounces you on his cock his tip hitting your cervix every single time. “Mel,” you whined, the woman’s eyes caught yours full of lust, “Please touch yourself for us.” You say grabbing Jayce’s hand from your hip. “Please, Mel.” Jayce spoke softly looking through puppy dog eyes as if he wasn’t fucking you no mercy.

Mel couldn’t take it anymore she grabbed her dress , shoving it up just enough for her to touch her bare cunny. Her legs spread wide when she touched herself circling her clit in the same manner Jayce did yours. Simultaneously you both arch your back when she slips her fingers in pumping them in and out in and out just as Jayce fucks you. Taking the arms from around your knock Jayce grabs both of your hands pulling you closer to him. “Cum with her.” He whispers and you only nod fucking your hips back against his.

Mel quickened her movement. She was close you could tell by the way her legs contorted and she squirmed. You couldn’t hold it in much longer, you didn’t just want her to cum you needed her to. “Please Mel, please cum.” You spoke in a small voice. You sounded so desperate, so needy, she couldn’t help herself as she came around her fingers white cream surrounded her fingers as she rode her high out on her fingers drenching them in her essence. As soon as Mel came it was like a dam broke within you.

It all came crashing down on you like acid rain your skin burned when you came, wet hot liquid squirting out of you wetting yours and Jayce’s thighs. Jayce came with you as your pussy walls contracted against him, milking him for all his worth. He couldn’t keep the whimpers he held back during sex in while he came and it made you feel something you couldn’t expect.

Jayce fell on his back shocked at what had just transversed. “He didn’t think I would only last one round did he?” You asked Mel who only giggled caressing your cheeks. “Oh I don’t think he knows what he’s gotten himself into.” Mel says as she begins to strip down to her undergarments; her house colors. Jayce only now looks up as he watches you both crawl towards him like lions hunting their prey.

“Gods help me.”

[nicoleanell]

(actual link to gif set because tumblr's being weird)

Man it's the fact this statement is weirdly big and generous and brave in Armand's mind. I think it was Assad or someone else who said it was a moment of overconfidence or almost gloating, which is not the exact vibe I get, but I think there's something to that big-headedness of having survived and gotten through it and it's over now and just... He just wants to see. He just wants to skip that little stone down the cliff and see what happens. Maybe if nothing happens *then* he would actually be able to exhale. (He will not. He'd find something else. There's an itch in him that's never going to be secure enough in the bed he made.) Maybe it's just wanting to test something - Louis or himself or how many ways he can't die.

People tie it directly to Armand not being able to say the words in 2x05, which is probably intentional, but also it's not *exactly* the same because for one thing it's in the Past Tense now. It's very much meant as a moment of *closure* - he DID love you, past tense, we don't know where he is or how he feels now and that doesn't matter - while in San Francisco with Lestat right there on the mind telephone, it was the present tense terror that maybe that really was all Louis needed to hear to go running back to him.

But their relationship has also changed SO dramatically since San Francisco that it feels like even the past-tense version is a very, very precarious thing to admit. Because it's not about the material love triangle, it's not who-will-Bella-Swan-choose, it's about 70 years of mythmaking and storytelling.

SIDEBAR: The show left us IMO with a very frustrating ambiguity about the extent to which Armand has used his mind powers on Louis, like to the point where you have some fans believing that *every single fucking memory* we saw onscreen that they didn't like for the last two seasons is Fake News actually, and other fans believing it happened Just That One Time GOD. (I personally lean toward way *less* mind manipulation than other people assume, and if it was literally JUST the shit that happened in 1973 that's... enough to be messed up lol. I think the "love of my life" and finishing each other's sentences scenes have some unsettling implications. I *don't* think Louis having imperfect recall and limited perspective of stuff that happened a century ago is because of Armand all or even *most* of the time.)

But the fact no matter what is that Louis has a lot of cognitive dissonance around Lestat because he WANTS it acknowledged on some bone-deep level that Lestat loved him, because he loved/continues to love him too. And if we're gonna insist on throwing the word "gaslighting" around when we just mean "lying", then at the end of the day it's about Louis being told he's not crazy by someone who has at times made him feel that way.

Idk maybe this is me getting Too Deep about a finale I still think is kinda unsatisfying and already had way too much to do with Lestat and not enough with Claudia. But I do like that moment when I look past the toxic love triangle and more toward "hey buddy [my best friend Armand] why are you Like That" and Louis' little smile breaking my heart.

Something sad about that moment is Armand's right that saying those words *doesn't* end the world, and if nothing else had happened and Daniel and the Vampire CIA weren't on their divorce-attorney kick, that'd be the end of it. (Hot take I don't think saying the words or not in 1973 would've really made a difference either, and there's so much more nuanced and wild shit going on there than an undelivered message romcom beat.) And Louis would be *grateful* for that moment of understanding and closure between them.

[et6rnalsunshine]

࣪˖ ִ⭑ ࣪ avoidance (chris sturniolo)

⭑ soph's note. second post hi. idk how i feel about this, ive never written something like this so hopefully it's not that bad.... also, thank you for almost 70 followers already and the likes on my last blurb, appreciate the love so much ♡

"is this what we do now? have sex, and not speak about it?" you ask, the question hanging heavy in the air as you look over to chris, who pauses his actions on his phone. he stays silent, not responding, but you knew he had heard you. you look away from him, sighing quietly as you glance around the slight darkness of the bedroom. you were tired of opening yourself up to chris, just for him to push you away.

"what?" he responds after a moment, looking over to you, but he knew what you meant.

you scoff slightly, looking over to him and sitting up slightly on the bed, "you know what i mean, chris." you had tried to talk to him. over and over, but it was like a wall had been built between you. one that felt impossible to break down.

"what 'd you do that for?" he murmurs, still staring blankly at his phone. you furrow your brows at his stupid question, opening your mouth to speak before he interrupts you. "make things into a big deal, i mean. why do you want to keep complicating things?" he looks over to you, setting his phone down.

"do what? i don't want to complicate things," you correct him, slight frustration bubbling up. "i just wanna talk, chris. can't we just talk, for once? you don't get to push me away like this. it isn't fair."

things were complicated, sure, they always were with chris. in the beginning, it felt like everything was falling into place. his words were sweet, wrapped in promises, ones that lingered even after he said them. for a while, those words felt like enough. even if there was no label on your relationship, it was enough. but then, slowly, something began to shift. it's like he realized how close he was getting to you, and immediately started pushing you away emotionally. the way his gaze would linger on you, but never quite meet your eyes. he was always there, always close, but never really there. not anymore.

every time you showed him the parts of yourself that you kept hidden from everyone else, he would pull back a little more, retreating into himself. you had began to wonder if maybe, you were the problem. if your presence was too much, too heavy for him. but it wasn't. you weren't the problem.

the silence stretched between you after you spoke. the air felt thick as he sighed at your words. no, it wasn't fair. but that didn't matter to him, did it? you could feel it—his avoidance. it was a feeling you had grown familiar to when it came to chris.

"seriously, chris. i'm tired of acting like everything's fine." you speak again, needing him to talk to you, to at least give it some acknowledgement. you look over to him, silently begging him to open up, to say anything. instead, he looks down at his hands, his expression unreadable.

his words full of affection, promises that were never quite fulfilled, had turned into nothing more than distant echoes. you had been vulnerable with him, you had opened yourself up in ways you hadn’t with anyone else, and yet, it was like he was too afraid to let you see him as he really was. you wanted to be there for him. you wanted to show him that you cared, that your care for him was beyond lust. that you weren't going anywhere. but he wasn't letting you in. and you realized, maybe he wasn't going to. maybe he couldn't—no. maybe he didn't want to.

and so, you sat there, both of you in that dimly lit bedroom. two people who had once been so close, but now felt like strangers. you hear chris let out a heavy sigh, meeting your eyes for a moment before getting up from the bed.

"where are you going?" you ask, disappointed as you once again had no answer to the questions lingering in your mind. you watch, a frown plastered on your face as he grabs his car keys and phone from the bedside table.

"are we seriously talking about this again?" he huffs to himself, running a hand through his hair before answering your question, "i just need to clear my head. ill be back," he mumbles before leaving you there, the bedroom door left open as you hear his footsteps retreating and eventually the faint hum of his car driving away.

you were left with nothing but your thoughts, the quiet hum of the ac, and the weight of something that never quite blossomed. 

© et6rnalsunshine

[swallowerofdharma]

Following the discussion from here. Hoping you don’t mind if I make a new post so that the other one doesn’t become too heavy. I’m answering some lingering questions, but I am also saying that I won’t be dissuaded from treating this manga differently. As said recently*, Yoneda takes such care to give details and context to the story, that it is intriguing to look into things with analytical eyes and I can’t see the problem with it. For those who maybe feel like “the story isn’t that deep”, that is more offensive to the author tbh than to me or others in fandom who write commentaries. * @dragomfry said: “It makes our analyses of her work hold extra weight because there are things that she wants us to look for and derive meaning from (rather than us trying to derive meaning from nothing to begin with)”.

So to clear this first.

I can’t quite see why this story would be distorted into something it’s not intended to be if we approach it under a romantic lens.

I am not debating people for approaching the story romantically, but - because some troubling arguments were made about the recent poll - I will say this. Rape culture takes some arguments from romantic and patriarcal views to defend the aggressors and blame the victims instead: this isn’t romanticism’s fault, but the very fact should be at least taken into consideration. [More on this below**]. So several of the reflections I was writing about framing the manga as romance rather than literary realism were prompted by this issue. And reading your thoughts about the story, I can understand where we differ so much: and that is in how we view Doumeki especially, rather than the rest. Maybe you are not romanticizing Yashiro and his trauma, but you are especially romanticizing Doumeki. For example:

I allow myself to indulge in the romanticism of it all; both of them falling in love at first sight, depressed Yashiro finally finding someone who truly cares about him, Doumeki who doesn’t back down when Yashiro rejects him, Doumeki still having feelings for Yashiro even after he shot him in the leg and pretended not to remember him, etc. There’s so much in this story that’s blatantly romantic, almost corny.

There are many aspects of the manga that I do find realistic in it’s portrayal, such as the CSA, what I don’t find realistic, however, is the portrayal of love, the romance. I find it very idealised and romanticised for the most part (i.e the falling in love at first sight (I’ll get to that), Doumeki being Yashiro’s exact type, Doumeki happens to be impotent which allows Yashiro to develop feelings for him, the fact that Doumeki is completely accepting of everything Yashiro does regardless of how Yashiro treats him, the fact that Doumeki is still in love with Yashiro after he shot him the leg, maybe he even stayed in the Yakuza world just to be near him (although who knows why exactly he did that?) Idk maybe it’s just me but I find it very unrealistic. It’s this romantic idea of „there is this perfect person out there who accepts you just the way you are and you don’t have to do anything to keep them happy, you can even shoot them in the leg and they’ll still love you, they’ll stick around no matter what it takes to be with you“.

I can’t pick and choose what I want to romanticize or not, I have chosen to look at things differently, and I am keeping the same approach when looking at characterizarion. When I look at Doumeki, I see as many problems as those Yashiro has. He is the one depressed imo, at the beginning of the story, he is in much worse shape than Yashiro. Yashiro has a support network, Doumeki was isolated in prison and kept family away when he was released. Doumeki isn’t this strong and stoic person who is in love with Yashiro and is therefore shouldering a burden or enduring abuse in the name of love. I have been misunderstood before on this, but I want to say that I look at these characters without romanticizing either of them. I am not so much interested in looking at who is right or wrong, or to paint one character in a better light and bashing another: I want to understand their differences and how they came to be, how the relationship is affected by those differences. This is why I don’t take a shipper’s approach either, I am not solely focused in their relationship, but in the story as a whole.

There are several posts where I talked at lenght about these characters, because Yoneda gave a lot of backstory, and I encourage who may be interested in checking further. Doumeki has trouble facing or recognizing reality, until reality kicks him in the face, and that is happening to him since the nurse and Aoi. So he is only observing when it suits him. Yashiro established his emotional boundaries plenty of times, and Nanahara is there to corroborate and reinforce Yashiro’s prefereces. Here are some examples, and these are from volume one alone. It is a pretty clear situation, and Doumeki understood it.

I know that people are objecting to the very idea of framing Doumeki as the aggressor in this case, but the power dynamics had already shifted at that point when things went down in ch 24-25. It is the result of an escalation that sees Doumeki hiding his feelings and his arousal, and becoming more aggressive and unhinged towards others during the investigation into who ordered the hit on Yashiro. Yoneda was painstakingly building towards that scene, while also painting a bigger picture and external plot, and there are so many details that I haven’t even touched upon yet, but nothing is filler. And the parallels between Doumeki’s arousal and his violent behavior can’t be easily ignored.

Again, I feel quite powerless and unequipped to persuade those who already formed their opinion. But when given arguments in favor of dismissing Yashiro’s right to object or arguments that shift the focus away from the simple topic of consent, then I have to ask myself why this is happening. **Rape culture does play a role, and as I said, rape culture can and does weaponize some romantic ideas about love. Or against the autonomy of the person, against choice and so on.

I find it very important that Yoneda chose to put those words in the mouth of an ex-policeman, while dressed up as a policeman, and of another abusive detective with the police. Or the fact that Inami commented on Doumeki’s father building a career to cover up his crimes. See these statements from the Wikipedia page on rape culture:

With how difficult has become to search on the web for unbiased results, I am just giving the Wikipedia page not as a source of authority, but as a peer reviewed summary that provides a starting point for research and some bibliography on the subject. For example:

I want to add that I don’t agree with the way the article frames “men” as perpetrators and “women” as victims. That should be corrected and can be misleading. Men have been historically and consistently discouraged to speak up about being victims of rape themselves and often the law didn’t even consider them. And the gendered approach contributed to make so many victims invisibile. There is so much we have to learn.

Again, this post is solely for the purpose of answering arguments or points made directly to me about how we interpret the story in Saezuru. These are my observations and reflections, the links I see, and it is possible because these things are in the manga. And last, I love love-stories. But romance - especially romantic tropes, often reinforced by fandom shipping culture - don’t always equal love to me.

[quokkie]

i js saw ur hamzah angst and i can not get enough of ittt!! do u think u could more angst but they make out in the end?? ik u did something similar but i js love these!! thank u n sorry if it’s so wordy idk how to describe stuff 😭

worth fighting for : hamzahthefantastic

i feel like this is so ooc hamzah:((

hope u munchkins enjoy i’ve been so lazy

the rain was coming down hard, soaking you both to the bone. but hamzah’s voice cut through it, sharp and loud.

“why do you always do this?” he snapped, his eyes burning as he looked at you. water dripped down his face, making him look even more furious. “push me away like you don’t care, when i know you do!”

your chest was heaving, your heart pounding so loud you swore he could hear it. “i push you away because i can’t keep doing this, hamzah!” you shouted back. “you don’t get it, you’re the one who always leaves!” his jaw tightened, his face twisting with something between anger and pain. “i’ve never left you. not once.”

“not physically,” you shot back, your voice cracking. “but emotionally? you shut me out every single time things get hard. his shoulders dropped, just a little, like your words had knocked the fight out of him. for a second, the only sound was the rain hammering against the pavement.

“i don’t shut you out because i don’t care,” he finally said, his voice quieter now, shaky. “i do it because i’m scared. scared you’ll realize i’m not enough and leave me first.”

something inside you broke at the way he said it. you wanted to stay mad, wanted to hold onto the anger, but the way he looked at you—like you were the only thing holding him together—made it impossible.

“hamzah,” you said softly, stepping closer.

his breath hitched, and you reached up with trembling hands to cup his face. his skin was cold from the rain, but he leaned into your touch like he needed it to breathe.

“you’re enough,” you whispered, your voice cracking under the weight of it all. “you’ve always been enough. but i can’t keep fighting for someone who won’t fight for me.”

his hands came up to grab your wrists, holding them in place as his forehead pressed against yours. his breathing was uneven, shaky. “i’m fighting now,” he whispered, his voice raw. “i swear, i’m fighting now.”

and then he kissed you.

it wasn’t soft or gentle. it was messy and desperate, like he was trying to tell you everything he couldn’t say. his hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer, like letting go wasn’t an option.

you kissed him back just as passionately, pouring all the frustration and love and hurt into it. the rain was cold, but his lips were warm, and for a moment, nothing else existed.

when you finally pulled away, both of you gasping for air, he kept his forehead against yours. “i’m not going anywhere,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“good,” you whispered back, your voice trembling. “because neither am i.”

[justtrashperson]

Could I hear that RtGame life series essay? 🥺

KSAJASKJ TBF it's not really a full essay, but just multitude ideas of what would happen if RT joins life series (in my opinion)

It's a mix between RT playing minecraft in general and My own Magistrex lore/characterization so be warned

might get long, if it is long then it's gonna be after read more lol

ANYWAY in my opinion the way RT plays games and interacts w people very much fits the gameplay of life series boogeyman gimmick, even if he had no like, skills in pvp or what not, being the boogeyman means basically hiding your identity before killing someone in any way possible to get the curse out

MIX THAT with how RT somehow has such good charm and persuasion points I feel like he'd try to be allies w almost everyone similarly how WL!Joel did it

BUT IF WE'RE TALKING VERY MUCH LORE WISE OH BOY OH BOY if we're basing this on Martyn's eyes and ears lore, RT would definitely be liked by the watchers. Why you may ask? Well it is basically confirmed that the watchers HATE positive feelings mainly love and enjoys chaos and destruction. Now, RT has multiple times be the being of chaos during a gameplay either directly or indirectly (especially if he's like, roleplaying). This said man created a revolution in a yogscast server that had monarchy. This man would kill himself if it means causing chaos. He embraces that personality so much that I feel like if he's mostly spending the series in Red life or was a boogeyman, he would try and just cause chaos as much as he can even if it risks his life. If he ever got involved into the lore, he'd definitely be someone the watchers like.

He would also probably try to make some sort of gambling system just like the heart foundation or the game Tango made in 3rd Life or if someone else made it before him, he'd gamble and probably somehow wins bc this mans luck is umatchable /silly

He could also probably do a Scar thing and try to scam people out of their stuff or money. All i'm saying this man could definitely gamble and scam his stuff away but he's probably gonna get out with profit at the end.

now if we're going at it per season, this is how i think RT/Magistrex would go:

3rd life: He's probably gonna be against dogwarts, probably trying to dismantle the "monarchy" from the inside out or as an opposition

last life: boogey gimmick introduction. he'd probably thrive a bit

double life: no thoughts rn bc idk who he would be paired up with

limited life: the season where death doesn't have that much of an impact, so i'd think he'd also thrive considering boogey system is back

secret life: probably would do almost all his task flawlessly

wild life: this is just the gambling season. let him gamble- /silly

but anyway RTgame in life series when /lh

OH ALSO EXTRA! RT seems to have quite a good character reading skills (which boost his charm and persuasion skills imo) so he definitely can pick and choose how he interacts w other players during the season

though if we're speaking realistically between you and me? he's probably gonna die first due to not having as much MC experience as the other characters /hj /lh

[amiaimpxct]

SAFE HAVEN.

*+.~ asaba harumasa x reader

cw: just fluff + late night sleeping ???, spoilers for/set after his agent story, also idk why i used his last name as his first forgive me for that

The room was dark, filled with nothing but tense breathing, and the shuffling of clothes.

You threaded your fingers through Asaba’s dark hair, feeling his scalp under your fingernails as the bed’s headboard supports the back of your head. His weight is on top of you, like a heavy blanket— it only bothers you slightly; his warmth against your body makes it all worth.

Your other hand is on his nape, tracing invisible patterns on his clothed skin, the looseness of the fabric shaping under your fingertips.

Neither of you said a word.

Asaba almost breathes you in— his face against your chest; his hot breath wavers against your skin— as if he was desperate to make sure you were there with him.

All you knew was that day you received that phone call.

“Asaba Harumasa has been admitted to the hospital.”

You had assumed the worst, rightfully so, immediately putting on your shoes to make a mad dash to the hospital. You didn’t even stop to grab a jacket, and the late night wind had nearly frozen you to the bone.

You remember the panic you had felt, rushing to the front desk to demand to see him, and the way you looked at his coworkers in the waiting room.

Fear.

You clutch the man tighter, your tears beginning to well up in your eyes as you look at the man below you.

“…you’re still afraid?” he whispers, noticing your gaze on him.

“you— you could have—“ you choke out, feeling the all-too familiar wet warmth of tears.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Asa.”

His nickname. Asa.

It means morning, like you’re the sun, you had told him.

Asaba looks up at you, golden yellow eyes meeting yours, his eyes lidded from exhaustion. He brings his face closer to yours, planting a chaste kiss on your lips.

You pull his face towards yours once he stops, taking him by surprise. You bring your thumb to brush over his lips, his cheekbones, and over his ear.

“I love you. Asaba Harumasa.”

“…”

He can only look up at you. He does not elaborate or respond.

“So please…” you don’t know what you’re pleading for, but the look in your eyes towards Asaba explains it all to him.

Using his arms, he pushes himself up to meet your lips, kissing you again, deeper, trying to pour all of his emotions out with the gesture, letting you pet his hair again to bring him closer as you close your eyes, truly feeling him.

I’m still here, he seemed to say.

Both of you parted— to let Asaba breathe— and dove in again, multiple times. Throughout the kisses you held onto him so dearly, and when both of you had enough and were tired out of your minds, you never let go of him, keeping him close to you as you both drifted off to sleep. He let out only a slight murmur before falling unconscious, and you watched his sleeping form rise up and down to his breathing; alive, and with you.

[changbinsboobs]

Ok nvm starting the social media series, and i am starting with Changbin deal with it😤 i haven't been feeling the spark with my cards again for a few days and wanted to reignite it by doing a reading i myself have been looking forward to a lot, tho now i don't think that was that good of an idea cuz i didn't even finish it cuz my man tortured me again for over an hour with his long ass reading and now im traumatized.

Anyways, i don't think it would be any other way with the other members too cuz its just TOOO MANY question, and when theres more than one apps, it gets a bit difficult, so yeah i'll either do app by app for each memeber and just rotate them or...idk ill see if the others take that long and'll think about how im gonna do it.

Skz Social Media Series: Changbin -> Tiktok

How often does he check it?

- Routinely. Im seeing him checking it quite a lot throughout the day out of habit. Lots of time.

How long does he stay on it?

- Quite a while. Its difficult getting him off of it as it really grabs and holds onto his attention. Seems a bit addicting.

When/why does he reach out to it?

- The pregnant empress shows up again as the ABSOLUTE MUSST for every changbin reading i do. I think he goes on tiktok whenever he feels inspiration and wants to double it, whenever he wants to get inspired or whenever he feels some sort of insufficience. Like when he feels lonely, when he feels unfulfilled, when something doesn't go the way he wants etc.

- On the other hand, why he goes on it is because its very authentic and creative. He likes the unpolished raw ideas and portrayal of people where u can really just..get inspired:)

Does he fall victim to doomsscrolling? When?

- The potential definitely is there but he's fighting against it and i think its going well. So i don't see him spending actual hours on it. I do see him tho, opening tiktok out of habit just to check and instead of watching 1 or 2 videos he watches 5.

Does he have people he sends videos back and forth with?

- Yes quite a lot actually i think this is one of his fav parts about tiktok. He does that with friends and one interesting thing i picked up on is he loves doing that with crushes. He thinks its a great opportunity to get into conversation with them, keep in contact and learn more about his crushes and have the opportunity to show more of himself too. I think this may be some of his go to methods keeping close to a crush without making it obvious he's crushing on them. I think overtime he has become very guarded with love, crushes and all and i don't think he's the type to instantly confess or actively pursue or seek out a relationship. Doesn't change the fact that he's still crushing tho, so thats a good, innocent way for him to feed his heart while still keeping a safe distance. When it comes to regular friends or guy friends - ok wait...this part is very confusing to be honest so don't take this with a grain of salt take it wth whole spoon of salt. I think most of his friends he sends videos back and forth with are actually female friends, cuz whenever i specifically look for guyfriends really dark cards like the tower or 7 of swords come out, or like nonchalant ones like the 4os, but once i ask about female friends its all cups and rainbows and all. So my take on this is with female friends he's way more active on there, probably keeping streaks and all😂 cuz the content they share between each other is just much more potent and entertaining and resonates with him much more, rather than with his male friends i think he doesn't really enjoy or care that much the content they send him, he can't really send them mich content either cuz they wouldn't understand or like it so the exchange between him and his male friends isn't very pleasant for him, contrary to his female friends.

Whats the content he consumes on there?

(family & friends, memes, stay up to date with trends & information, spying on people of interest, spying on stay, looking for new people (friends, hookups, networking), researching information or thirsttraps (soft porn/ porn)

- Various: spirituality & healing

- Finance & getting rich

- Divine love like soulmates, manifesting live, dating tips, healing traumas in connection to that stuff, healing & learning about attachements etc. also seeing some psychology.

- Taking charge of your life, self development, learning to navigate life and many things at a time, preventing burnout, helpful tips for that, also with emphasis on problems like indecision, struggle to letting go, procrastination.

- Motivational videos

- Baby videos / parenting videos

- Videos of couples that live together or have been together for a long while.

- Transformational videos of people that have significantly changed something in their life, be it physique, financial status, countries, identity etc.

His main topics of interest on the platform?

- Self development

- Getting rich(er)

- Setting boundaries and protecting urself

- Success, happiness & balance in life

- Inner child healing

- Motivation

- (Quite surprised there was nothing about live here in the cards, considering i got like 6-8 love cards in the previous answer, that some of them i didn't even read) (still even if i didn't get it in the cards here, love may not be one of his main topic of interest, like the reason he opens the app, but its definitely a reason he stays on it and keeps coming back as love is definitely a type of content he consumes in GREAT amounts!!!

Does he consume content in Korean, English or both?

-both (yk im really curious seeing which types if content he watches in english and which in korean but I've been doing this reading for over an hour and im so exhausted😭😭😭😭) (if ur interested send a separate ask and ill do it later)

His amount of active engagement (writing comments etc

- Very little to none. He just thinks it in his head, without writing anything or he just sends it to his friends with his comment/opinion.

Since when and why he got that app?

- Don't have a time but he did because of a crush & actually stayed because it was really entertaining indeed and informative on top of that. Only time clue im getting that its been for years. And im hearing and seeing for for the whole time while shuffling cards. Didn't get a confirmation on that tho i myself believe it could be right since that would mean he started using it actively in 2020 which if im not mistaken was the rise of tiktok, and also energetically speaking i feel like this was a time of change for changbin too, which matches the cards i got for him. So take this with a whole bucket of salt - 7 think he may be using tiktok actively since around 2020.

Does he have certain creators he really enjoys and follows religiously? (Can't see which specific creator it is unless y'all already have speculations and ask me for specific people, then i can check)

- yes a man teaching about success, finance, self development etc.

- A woman teaching about breakups, relationships, harnessing ur power, attracting & manifesting a SP or ur soulmate or the right person for u

- Another woman (of color) teaching about shadow work & spirituality overall, about divine creation & manifesting and ugh idk how to describe it. Like she talks about taking whats special in you, teaching you to harness it, remove obstacles, see urself for who u are and accept urself and then using this power u have to create magic in the world through ur unique spark & shine & creativity. I think she really helps motivate him when in a slum or writers block or something.