#and idk what happened like i dont remember but we never met or anything? but it was just.... wild

[shewantsitall]

When you experience a thing that seems like a set up for a soulmates au irl and it is the weirdest feeling of all time what in the world is happening??????

[collapsedglasshouses]

NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS AFTER 2 AM [Nick Ruffilo x fem!Reader]

PAIRING: Nick Ruffilo x Noah's sister

WARNINGS: 18+, SMUT, MDNI!, protected p in v, fingering, handjob, reader’s hair is mentioned if that counts as a warning, counts nicky as a warning??, idk let me know if i forgot something, this is not really proof read sry

SUMMARY: Your brother Noah's best friend has always been your weak spot. Nothing ever happened and you eventually gave up hope. But things seem to take a turn when Nick visits for a weekend and you find him in the kitchen in the middle of the night.

(y/h/c) = your hair color; (y/e/c) = your eye color

A/N: This idea came to me while I was watching HIMYM (i still dont like ted but that is another story). Sooo, the title was inspired by it. Also we have a small mention of one of my favourite white boys Rory Culkin (: I hope you enjoy!

You sighed as you finally closed your laptop and stared at the wall straight ahead of you. You had finally finished writing one of your papers for university and could relax for a day or two. Normally, this would calm you down. But given the fact that your brother’s best friend was at your apartment at the moment, left you at unease.

You remembered Nick for at least half your life. Your older brother, Noah, had met him back in school and everything was so cliché about that. Your best friend in high school had a severe crush on Noah and given the fact that you were both teenagers raging through puberty, it was no wonder that you had laid eyes on your brother’s best friend.

Years later, with nothing effectively happening between you, you would think that this crush would fade out somehow, but to your surprise, when you saw him standing in your doorway that morning, it felt like you were fifteen again.

It wasn’t like this crush was never gone, you had a boyfriend or two in the meantime, but something about Nick had and will always catch you.

One look at your phone revealed that it was almost 2 AM. Your stomach reminded you that you had skipped dinner. Your brain told you it was because you needed to finish that paper, but your heart told you it was so you could avoid getting distracted by the sheer presence of Nicholas, who was only one room away from you, probably gaming with your brother.

The last couple of months, you had successfully avoided seeing Nick for more than a couple of minutes, even though this seemed like an almost impossible task. Since your brother and you had decided to rant out a flat together, so you could share costs, everything had changed. Noah left his old band and now he was almost always occupied planning a project. He wanted to start a new band and who better to ask than his best friend, who happened to be able to play the guitar.

You sighed as your tummy started to rumble again and finally got up from your desk to find something to eat. When you walked around the corner and into the kitchen you stopped in your tracks for second. Of course, this would happen. Sooner or later, you knew this would happen.

“Still writing on your paper?” Nick asked and drank a sip out of his glass. You felt how your gaze fixated on the tattoo on his hand for a second too long, so you shook your head for a second to get your thoughts out of your head. Unsuccessfully.

“Just finished.” You mumbled before stepping to the fridge. You just settled for a yoghurt since you didn’t want to cook anything at these ungodly hours. “What are you up to?” You asked him and leaned against the counter next to him, careful not to get to close.

“Noah fell asleep and occupied the whole bed with his legs, and now I can’t fall asleep, so I decided to get out of his room.” He answered you, before running a hand through his hair. It has gotten a lot longer over time and you liked it a lot.

“I can set up the couch for you, if you want.” You offered, even though you wouldn’t want your worst enemy to sleep on that thing. Nick apparently knew that too. “I’d rather sleep on the floor… or on a board with nails.”

You laughed lightly at his statement before throwing away the yoghurt cup and then leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen.

“You could sleep in my bed, and I’ll take the couch.” You then suggested, but Nick frantically shook his head.

“Nope, I can’t rob you of your beauty sleep.” Nick quickly answered and you jokingly opened your mouth in offense. “Did you just call me ugly?”

Nick rolled his eyes, while smiling. “No, I indirectly called you a princess, y/n.”

You knew he was joking, but you still felt your cheeks heat up, so you looked away for a second, in the hopes he didn’t see it.

“I’m just gonna push your brother off his bed, don’t worry.” He then exclaimed and pushed himself off the counter. He walked past you, while you started to think. You didn’t know if it was the tiredness creeping up in your bones or your delusional head, but before you could stop yourself you started to talk again.

“You could stay in my room until you’re tired enough. We could watch a movie or something.” You mumbled so fast you didn’t even know if you understood what you said. But Nick heard you. He heard you loud and clear, considering he stopped in his tracks and looked at you again.

“You sure?” He asked. Of course, you weren’t sure, but you still nodded.

A quiet voice in the back of your voice started to whisper. It whispered the words your grandmother had always told you.

“Nothing good happens after 2 AM.”

The sentence repeated itself in your head as you walked past Nick and then opened your bedroom door for him to get in.

It felt like he looked right into your soul as his gaze wandered around the room. It wasn’t too big, but bigger than Noah’s bedroom. In exchange, he got the third room in the apartment for his music stuff. On the walls hung a couple of pictures with your best friend and even one with Nick and Noah from a wedding you went to when you were 16 or 17.

Nick’s eyes fixated on your messy desk. You hadn’t had the time to clean up.

“You wrote your paper on managing bands?” He asked and smiled a bit to himself as his gaze wandered over your notes. You stepped next to him and nodded.

“Yeah. Since I’m studying management and wanna specialize on music business, it came to me naturally.” You explained and ran a hand through your hair. It went without saying what you meant with that statement. You wanted to support your brother’s dreams and since you never had too much interest in learning an instrument yourself, you wanted to at least do something in that field.

“So, we are basically only missing another guitarist and a drummer?” Nick asked and had this tone of excitement in his voice that made you smile a little broader.

“You found a bassist?” You asked surprised and Nick nodded. “Vincent, a fellow tattoo artist. We’re good friends and he agreed to join the project.

“Oh my god! Noah didn’t even tell me. That’s so cool.” You exclaimed and before you knew you hugged Nick from the side. It took him by surprise for a second, considering you normally didn’t even hug, but soon he relaxed and ran his hand over your arm.

When you realized what you did, you quickly got out of that embrace. You hated yourself for the bubbly feeling that formed in your stomach from such a small interaction and decided to get some distance.

“So…” You cleared your throat and sat on your bed. “What do you wanna watch?”

“What are the options?” He asked and also sat down with a bit of a distance to you.

“I do not have Netflix, but I recently bought Scream 4.” You answered him and didn’t even think about the fact that you weren’t the biggest fan of watching horror movies at night. Normally you were too scared for that, but there was this little delusional part of your brain that told you it would be the best idea.

“I’m cool with that.” Nick answered you and you saw how he smiled lopsidedly for a second.

Half an hour later you both were laying on your bed, your blanket over the both of you, even though you definitely had more of it, since you always needed to get comfortable when you watched scary movies. It wasn’t like Scream was too scary, but you still didn’t want to get scared in front of Nick.

“You know, I think Scream got worse and worse over time.” Nick than said, but he blinked a couple of times when he saw how offended you looked.

“Take that back, Ruffilo.” You grumbled and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“What? No. You can’t tell me Scream 4 is better than the first one.” He explained himself and turned to you to look at you better.

“I didn’t say that.” You answered him, but still looked offended.

“Tell me one thing that you actually enjoy about this movie.” He then demanded and if it was fate, a scene with Charlie Walker was shown.

Nick watched you intently as your cheeks slowly but surely got redder and redder. It took him a second what your reaction meant.

“Aaaah… It’s not the movie you like. Y/n has a crush on Charlie Walker.” He teased you and started to grin.

“No, I do not.” – “Yes, you do.” – “Nick, I swear-…”

“What do you like about him?” Nick asked and his tone wasn’t as teasing as before. He genuinely looked like he wanted to know.

“I don’t know.” You sighed and also turned to Nick. “I like that he isn’t popular and has a nerdy hobby. That he is shy and not an extrovert. I feel like extroverts scare me sometimes.”

Nick laughed a little and agreed with you.

“I also really like long dark hair. Especially when they have light eyes as well. I don’t know it’s just fitting.” You explained yourself further and didn’t even realize, who also had these features. You saw how Nick began to smile softly.

“You like dark long hair and light eyes?” He repeated your statement. “And introverts with a nerdy hobby?”

That was when you realized what you just told him. You swallowed hard and noticed how your stomach began to feel warm again. You looked away from his eyes quickly, not really knowing what to answer, so you simple stuttered a quiet. “Y-…yeah. I guess so.”

You were almost sure Nick wouldn’t say anything else since almost an eternity passes before, he opened his mouth again. “You know, I noticed over the years that I really like girls with (y/h/c) hair and (y/e/c) eyes. Especially in that combo.”

You had to forcefully stop your mouth from opening. You thought you must have heard it wrong. There was simply no way that Nick was really implying what you thought he was implying.

For a second, you contemplated what to do, but when nothing came to your mind, you simply looked at him again with questioning eyes. Nick started to smile a little and even though it was dark in your room, you saw the faint pink blush on his cheeks.

The words of your grandma started to form in your head again. “Nothing good happens after 2AM” You knew what you were thinking was dumb. You should have just turned to your TV again, but when you saw how his eyes travelled to your lips for a second, you decided to ignore every moral you had in your body. This would probably be your only chance, and you were dumb if you didn’t take it.

You leaned slightly forward and before you knew, you felt his lips on yours. Even though, you had never kissed before, it felt so familiar, you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss. His breath became more strained and soon you felt a hand sneak on your waist. You let yourself get pulled closer to him.

The kiss ended sooner as you wished it had. You didn’t dare to open your eyes as you felt his breath on your face.

“We shouldn’t do this.” He whispered, his words almost coming out as a whine.

“We definitely shouldn’t.” You breathed out before leaning into him again. Your hands started to roam and before you could even process what was happening, he pulled you onto his lap.

His hands ran over your waist, and you felt how he lifted his hips for just a moment. Every little thought in your brain that told you that maybe this wasn’t the best idea just vanished. You needed him.

Nick broke the kiss for a second and looked you deep in the eyes. “I want you.”

“Oh, it’s giving serial killer.” You joked and he laughed for a second, before he placed a hand on your cheek. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t like that.”

To your surprise there was a thing that was totally different, when he kissed you again. You didn’t feel like there was an exploding firework or those sparks you thought would happen. You just felt safe. It felt like you were meant to kiss. Like everything belong the way it was.

With a swift motion, Nick turned you, so you were laying under him.

“You know, we don’t have to do anything, y/n.” He reassured you. His dark hair was dangling in your face and his greyish blue eyes seemed darker than normal.

“I want this, Nick. I want you.” You reassured him too.

“Oh, look who’s giving serial killer now.” He joked and you reached out to playfully slap his chest, but he caught your hand. He placed a kiss on it, before letting go of it again and placing small kisses on your neck. You instantly tilted your head to give him better access and your hands wandered in his hair.

“You smell so nice.” He whispered and placed a kiss under your ear which made you breath out quietly.

The desire in you was burning as your hands travelled down his chest and to the band of his sweatpants. You could feel the contraction of his stomach as he inhaled sharply.

Eagerly, he began to dip lower, his lips exploring your heated skin. With a swift motion of you two, you both lost your shirts. Every touch was electric, sent a shockwave through your system and left your chest aching with a warmth that you hoped would never cool. You could feel the arousal pooling in your stomach, as Nick nipped at the skin of your chest.

It went without saying as you lifted yourself up a little and in a swift motion, he opened your bra that soon found its place on the floor with your shirts.

As Nick’s hand shifted, cupping your breast, your own hand dipped beneath the band of his pants. Your fingers brushed the warm skin, followed by the stuttering breath Nick released, even as his own hands began to trail lower. He played with the hem of your shorts for a second, before dipping beneath them as well, as he supported his weight with his other hand.

Before you could say anything, Nick’s hand shifted exactly where you wanted them. Warm fingers swiped at your slick folds, gathering the evidence of your arousal easily.

You can feel the throbbing from his dick as you slowly began to stroke his length, while he began to draw small circles on your clit. You tried your hardest to contain your moans, but when you looked him in the eyes for second, you couldn’t help but whimper.

Nick smirked slightly as he began to lower his hand, one finger teasing your entrance. You exhaled shakingly, when he slowly pushes a finger inside.

“Oh god.” You whined quietly and slightly increased your movement. The noise that escaped his lips alone made you fall apart.

He moved his gaze to look in your eyes for a second. “Are you alright?”

You nodded quickly, too caught up in the moment to respond in words, before pulling him down for a bruising kiss. Slowly he begins to move his finger inside of you. He continues, letting you get used to it, before slowly entering a second one.

“Fuck, Nick-…“ You gasped as he curled both fingers, slowly increasing the movements. With his two fingers fully inside you, his palm pressing against your clit.

You stopped moving your hand in his pants as you felt a sensation built up in you that never form as quickly as it did at this moment. But you stop him.

“What?” He asked. “Everything alright?”

“Yes, but I want to come with you.” You answered him and saw how his pupils widened even more.

“Are you sure? You know we don’t have to do more and-…” – “Nick, I want you to fuck me.”

His eyes widened at your statement, but he wasted no time, getting rid of his pants and underwear as you also slipped out of yours.

“Do you have condoms here?” He asked, his voice raspy.

“In the top drawer.” You answered shortly, before attacking Nick’s neck with kisses as he reached for drawer.

Shortly after, Nick grabbed both of your legs and opened them up for him. You sighed in anticipation and gripped your bedsheet as he slowly lowered himself into you.

Your mouth was open in the shape of a silent scream as Nick simultaneously let out a quiet groan into your ear. He stayed still for a second as he bottomed out, catching his breath. His next words made you spiral. “God, I thought this would never happen.”

He gave you no chance to reply as he pulled all the way out, just the tip still inside of you, before thrusting inside of you with a little more force. His rhythm was slow but deep, bumping into your cervix with each thrust of his hips.

You held onto his shoulder, careful not to let out a loud noise. He lowered himself onto your chest, paying attention to not crushing you. You couldn’t even have moaned, only small whimpers leaving your lips as you still tried to process what was happening.

As your hands travelled to his hair, to get a better grip, one of his found its way back to your clit. You already were so close to falling apart.

“Please, y/n. I beg you. Please cum for me.” He breathed out and leaned his forehead against yours. Your body was trembling as you reached your orgasm.

You let out a silent scream as you reached your peak. He was quick to move his fingers away from your clit as you gripped his hair. You felt how he tried to contain his own noise as his cock began to twitch inside of you.

“Fuck.” He whispered in a stuttering tone and moved for a couple of seconds longer, before slowly pulling out of you and letting himself fall onto you as the end credits of Scream 4 were the only noise in the room, besides your erratic breaths.

You both laid in each other’s arms for an extended period of time, while you ran your hands through his hair as he hugged you tightly. It felt like you both couldn’t believe what just had happened. He placed sloppy kisses along your collarbone, causing you to laugh slightly, still in disbelief.

When he lifted his head to look at you, he had a small smile on his face. “Everything alright?”

“If never been better, I think.” You mumbled and for a second you just looked each other in your eyes with unspoken feelings dangling between you. That was when he leaned in again and place a small and sweet kiss on your lips.

This was when you realized that maybe your grandma had been wrong.

Maybe the best things happen after 2 AM.

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86

@justeli6 @sitkowski @exitwoundsx

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[hyuckswoman]

being completely honest i feel like im needing a romeo!hyuck/jaehyun nd juliet reader like ive never really seen any1 do that on here feel free 2 ditch this ask if u dont wanna do it or anything but im maybe litwrally ON MY KNEES

romeo!jaehyun x juliet!reader- imagine

genre: angst? idk the plot of romeo and juliet basically

w.c 1k

« you do not understand jaehyun, this goes far beyond you and I » you said staring into your lover's eyes that shined bright underneath the moonlight 

« I understand my love, but I simply cannot go on any longer pretending that my heart doesn’t dance whenever I find myself near you » your lover jaehyun answers

« I love you, I do but what must we do? we are forced to be sworn enemies, we cannot be foolish and simply try to convince our families that do not care. if they would ever dear find out what we have been doing, what we have been sharing jaehyun, we shall be exiled or even worse » you said in an attempt to reason jaehyun 

« is it foolish of me to believe that our families will see eye to eye once met with the love that we share? You do not know or understand how much it pains me so, how we’re forced to act as if we are sworn enemies when I couldn’t be more in love with you » he says 

« I understand. I understand because I feel the same. Do you think it’s easy for me to hear my family disregard you and speak of your name in such a low way? I have tried, I have tried to make them see reason and I have failed. No matter how much I try to make them care more about my feelings instead of some quarry that dates so far back no one can remember they will not hear me » you start

« I’m scared. I apprehend the day in which my love for you will be revealed for I will bring great dishonor to my family. My heart is torn, I love you in ways I cannot put in words as not one can begin to describe how beautiful you are to me, but I have been taught to be a great daughter, to respect my duties, to honor my family. It pains me to admit that I can’t be the y/n my family wants me to be because my heart beats for you » you say, 

This was one of your rituals, sneaking off into the gardens to meet your forbidden lover away from prying eyes. Jaehyun is the love of your life, the reason your heart beats. Each time you look at him you feel as though no one else exists. You’ve never been scared for one second when he is by your side, he makes you feel the safest. But unfortunately things had to be too good to be true as Jaehyun, the man you devoted your heart to, is from a family yours sworn to be enemies with forever

« dearest, let us run away » your lover says holding your hands « Don’t be foolish, you and I know that because of the families we come from and our forbidden love, there isn’t a future where you and I can be together » you reply to him retracting your hand from his. You so badly wanted to run away with him, to abandon your duties as a daughter to be happy with jaehyun but you also knew that it simply could never happen 

« then let us create a future where we are together. y/n I cannot exist without loving you and if we are to be separated I shall not breathe without your presence. I will deny my name, I will deny my father for us to be lovers, that is how much I love you » your lover says

« I could never ask you to do that » you answer, you truly did not want him to be casted away simply because you were in love

« I can do that, for you » he starts « But it will simply never be enough, even if I deny my name your family will never allow me to pursue you and if you then deny yours we will simply be faced with doom. » he finishes. Before you could respond to him you hear the faint voice of your mother calling your name, you then quickly hurry to reach your chamber before she sees you with jaehyun. 

After making sure you were safe and deciding to meet in the church later on, Jaehyun patiently waited for your presence on the altar. Deciding it best to commit what he pondered about for so long without you here, he drank his drink, took out a paper and his quill and wrote to you. 

« y/n, I held great meaning to my words when I told you I cannot breathe without you. I have decided to end my days. But fear not, as I die finding solace in knowing that you loved me so. I beg of you to go on without me, to find someone who is worth your greatness. My heart swells knowing I loved you dearly until my very last breath. You are the light of my day, the reason I live, my first thought in the morning and my last before bed, you are the woman they write about in books and our love will forever be marked in both of our hearts. Know that I loved you in a consuming way every single second ever since laying eyes upon you. I am sorry I wasn’t able to live whilst knowing that you and I could never be together. 

I love you always.

yours dearest, 

Jaehyun ». 

When you entered the church, grinning in anticipation to meet with your lover, you did not expect to find his sleeping body on the altar. Seeing the paper so carefully written with your name written beautifully on it, you decided to read the letter. 

And it was through your heartbreaking sobs, your tears and your body crumbled over your lover’s one that you decided to drink his drink and meet him wherever he was hoping that it will not be a place where your love is forbidden. 

Because after all, he also was your reason to exist, and a world without him simply does not exist. 

notes: ARGHHHH I finally did it!!! I'm soso sorry to the anon that asked me this AGES ago I was so nervous about writing in this style as I struggle with regular day-to-day english so to try n write in old posh english was toughhhhh, hope it's still okay tho?

also, thank you for sending the ask, this was not proofread so I apologize for the 1000 mistakes there probably are and I'm hoping you enjoyed the imagine despite everything (even if i lowkey hate the way I wrote and want to redo it but I don't want to make you wait any longer)

[panicataphmausinsanity]

aaron rant

ok this is a rant no one asked for but i just wanna put all of my disorganized thoughts out there about aaron and the man my dude could've become without jesson's horrible execution. my grammar may be off and im not a good analyzer or anything, this is just a rant that i wanna get off my chest.

disclaimer :: i haven't watched MCD and i do plan to, and i'm aware of some things that happen but if you wanna share your opinion on anything id rather anyone would keep the reblogs spoil free

lemme start by saying that i love aaron. i genuinely love his character so damn much but NOT his canon. i love the IDEA of aaron and not his execution. jessica and jason did such a bad job portraying him- dont get me wrong i am not bashing them for the foundation they've laid for most of their wonderful characters it's the portrayal of them that gets me so ENRAGED. all of jess's characters have at least some thing going wrong with them and it's genuinely fucking insane. i don't mean what they go through in the series- as in who they ARE. what the fuck is a kawaii~chan? like god. i think so many characters in the series deserved so SO much more, especially aaron.

starting off with pdh s1 aaron. - i don't necessarily loathe pdh s1 aaron. i mean in here, he seems to have a personality than he ever does in season one of mys which is an upgrade i guess? a main problem imo was how his character always revolved around aphmau. i'm not even gonna choose to comment on the horrid age gap jesson's implemented in aarmau's story. i just hate that aaron himself didn't really have any other friend than aphmau and the fact that after they met, the series just continued to revolve around them.. and not them individually either- them as a relationship.

i think seeing certain instances like how aaron became lily's friend and stuff would've been important because technically, wasn't lily aaron's first friend in pdh? how is that just glossed over considering the fact that aaron pushed everyone who tried to interact with him off his back? isn't it interesting how lily managed to get a hold of him and actually became a friend? i don't understand why that was never shown because while students were scared of the dude because of all the rumors and shit going around, some kids like jeoffery actively reached out to him like we see in the ep where aaron asks aph to prom. he never relented to jfry's attempts to be friends w him and through this a girl like lily managed to be friends with him. i feel like something like this shoudlve been shown. i wouldve also liked to see a stronger reaction to him over lily and ivy's scheme. aaron obviously considered lily a caring friend and when he understood that they were scheming from what i remember, when he saw lily after learning about everything all he did was go "if ur gonna treat aph like this we're better off not being friends" or smt?? i think from what we understand about aaron over the series, emotional connections are obviously something he cherishes very much. so seeing him kinda like- brush the whole thing off and not be lily's friend feels so anticlimactic. idk how to phrase it. i know this was premature aaron and the aaron we know over the series is grown up and everything, but i still do feel like aaron would've had a stronger reaction to the scheme.

prob 2 was how after aaron and aph came to know ab each other being shu n fc, aaron didn't become full fledged friends with like ANYONE other than her. this felt extremely weird to me. we see him go to this dinner sylvanna planned and we see him socially thriving there- him cracking jokes and everyone having a fun time around him, travis and garroth wheezing over his jokes- how did this dude not become friends with them? i feel like they (garroth & travis) would've talked to aaron more and become more than acquaintances w him. a lil bonding thing if you get me?? mainly garroth. it's just weird that garroth never became a friend of aaron's imo. they were put in situations where they could've easily become friends. i know that garroth was jealous about aaron coming outta nowhere and swooping aph off of her feet, but he clearly got over it (during the time of s1 anyway, after that he went batshit crazy). they must've had one on one interactions during the dinner or prom right??????/ like come on. it's just weird!! this brings me to the fact that i literally don't see aaron making proper friends other than aph until fcu. like- aph is his only friend ever ykwim?? i feel like im phrasing this in such a dumb way- but it's just frustrating to see his entire social life just being- aph for a while. i just think garroth and aaron could have become friends as well, maybe even travis. and during prom, maybe even kaitlyn. we see aaron also being pretty mature and giving actual, promising advice to aph during the music room scenes. from this i feel like at some point aaron could have also comforted kaitlyn and maybe a friendship could've bloomed out of this??? this thought's just been sitting in my mind. aaron COULD have had a friend other than just aph. it just feels like his whole world revolves around aph and aph only until his family issues and the ultima bullshit comes around.

now in mystr s1, aaron is so FUCKING BLAND AND STALE AND UUUGHGHHHHHHH its actually so fuckin funny because mystreet season one aaron is relatively decent compared to his other versions *cough s5 cough. i actually do like s1 aaron's character. he's the epitome of chill- laid back, honest, communicative and supportive. he's a great friend to aph during her times of need, and during s1 he's the sanest character on the show.

but that's it. all he was was this friend to aphmau until the dumbass play arc during which they decide to go for something romantic. like his whole identity revolved around walking shirtless, being a chick magnet and a friend to aph. he revolved around aphmau, much like his pdh s1 self and that pisses me off so much!! he had no fucking personality other than being supportive to aph for a while. around the end you see him start to gain *something* similar to a personality, and while it was less than pleasant it was better than whatever the fuck was going on while he was only a friend to aph. it's also disappointing seeing him practically only gain emotions after developing a romantic relationship with aphmau. even during this, his interactions are limited to aph and zane most of the times, and even then he doesn't develop an outward friendship with zane- which would've been fucking amazing!!!! while they do start to bond, it's still like aphmau is the only one keeping them glued together while it would've been real cool for aaron to develop a friendship with zane and interactions w him that doesn't solely have to do with aphmau all the time. the fact that aph's brought him out of his shell is cool, but he's still ONLY friends with aph which is VERY eh. he may be considered friends w zane and stuff, but we only see major bonding stuff going on when it's between aaron and aph, but we don't see it with the other characters. it's jsut weird because everyone's known each other for so long, aaron;s bound to have grown closer w someone at the least- for example, garroth or travis. we've seen the unlikely group form during that one episode- aaron, aph, zane and travis- where they have a stupid lil immature game thing or whatever. i feel like travis and zane and aaron could've collectively bonded and it would've been super cute!! plus aph nudging him and zane to be more social as well- a lil detour to fcu where we see aaron trying his best to get out there and make friends w/ aph's adorable support- he has the perfect opportunity to do it during moments like these but it never becomes more than just what seem like forced interactions. like UGH. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. so. much. potentialll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just gone. poof. a strong friendship between aaron and the ro'maeve brothers wouldve been so fucking ack. sfryquoeuiwhiblforhgubhjfwe. litera;;y/. now i wpuldve loved to see tht1!!!! it's also just so weird that we see a drastic change in aaron's character from fcu to myst, in fcu he's so shy and he's trying his best to be friends w others and he succeeds little by little (we never hear of these friends again but ok.) and then in ms we see him as this super chill dude w hot gains sigma male or whatever and his only friend is aph. he was so much more expressive during fcu and while many events occurred in between, it's just weird seeing him not get out there more during s1 esp considering the fact that he has more freedom to. ill mention this later. anyway-----

one thing i liked to see was aaron break out of his cool character during the spectacle of zanemau, another stupid attempt by jess to get another boy to get infatuated with aph which thankfully did not happen.. kind of. id love to see people talk about how zane just heavily depended on aph as an emotional support system and was just afraid aaron would take aph away from him, a feeling of abandonment rising out of his own self loathing yada yada. . while zanemau is a cool ship, this whole thing was jsut extreenmly forced-it was obvious it was just to get another guy to fawn over aph. i hate aph's harem. i'll get off topic if i talk about how every single boy within a 50 mile radius of aph falls head over heels in love with her, but anyhoo. i did get off topic.. . . . so aaron breaking his character was like this breath of fresh air for me. when he's in the resto's bathroom, talking to the mirror ab his frustrations ab aph going all flushed and orgasmy over zane bc of the love ption that he wasnt aware of and how he should stop whats going on bc of zianna (fucking hate her ass), he seemed like an actual person lmao. i love that scene alot because he wasn't just this cool chill flirt(for aph), his feelings finally poured out in some way. it made him a full fledged character (for a little..). then garroth came in and talked to him and whatbnit (another wasted opportunity to grow closer maybe??????? idk) and they went back to the table . i havent talked ab how much i loathe this whole zuzu aph arc though like oh my god it mustve been incredibly uncomfortable for aph and aaron sitting through all that. i hate zianna so much and it was also mega annoying of vylad and the brothers to drag them into this bc he couldnt say no to his mommy. it was genuinely weird and so many things in the show are brushed off as comedic relief- things borderline crazy and worthy of restraining orders and jail. literally. literal kids watch these and may think it's normal bhvr when it isnt. but anyway.

i know that mystreet s1 was a spin off of mcd that just blew up and multiplied into other seasons and as it doubled prequels like pdh and fcu came to life. im very much aware of the fact that jess just developed the characters in their modern steads as the story progressed because it wasnt done something beforehand- mystreet happened to be a happy accident and jess didn't plan the characters out beforehand, including the plot (horribly evident from the shit that started from s4). they developed as characters in stages as the stories went on and that's just painfully obvious, especially when we watch the series in the timeline jess posted it. we see how aaron goes from the stoic chill hot sigma male to this uwu boy personality, which was what jess wanted him as in the end ig? it's obviously very weird though. imo, my opinion, she shouldve kept aaron's laid back personality. through this we could see him gradually grow and insert himself into aph's friend grp as well. we see that happen during s2 and s3 of ms, where he does progress in terms of social interactions- hes seen to be cracking jokes outwardly, he even has his own lil comedic relief spiels, becomes good buds with dante and stuff (which went just as it came from what i remember :[[[) and in s3 he becomes much cooler and is more involved within the friend group. he also seemed to be like this in pdh, like during the dinner as i mentioned before.

during fcu, this just. changes. his character is very... emotional? i dont really know how to put it. it's out of character. he's incredibly shy and relies on aph as a social plug. while in pdh he seemed to be less awkward w social interactions, aaron was 100x times more awkward during fcu. he seemed overly sensitive, and at moments its like he needed to be coddled. i did love it when aph helped him grow more socially, but we see that in ms 1 he has no friends. he's like this hot lone wolf (..), a drastic contrast to what he wanted to be in fcu imo (i believe this because derek was off his back now and he had the freedom to do have more friends and emotional connections like these is what he desperately craved- it's something so evident.) he wanted to have more friends and be more social. while this does happen in fcu, in ms1 we don't really see the results coming into place. like he becomes much more bold- in fcu he used to flush and blush at just hearing aph's heartbeat and in ms1, that one instance where aaron gets picked to play romeo and aph is like "you do realise we gotta kiss?" he just goes "yeah." in the most casual way ever- like it's just another tuesday for him or somethin. it's just a weird ass change. his character fluctuates when we watch the show in the chronological order and it's jsut so out of place and while i know it's no fault to jess ( i mean it is but part of it is justified ) it's still incredibly weird. jess could have prevented this by just keeping him as the character she initially started with.

and his last form- season 5. starlight. god fuck- this aaron was such a fucking baby. if fcu aaron wanted to be coddled, starlight aaron straight up wanted milk from aph's bosoms. he becomes this uwu soft boi- and considering all of the events that unfolded, it's still weird. yes, many things happened during their time at the lodge but it's just so fucking weird!!!!! i don't even know what to make of it. i just hated his character in s5. he stuttered every 3 fucking seconds. jason voice acted him so bad like oh my god im so sorry but it was literally unbearable. rewatching starlight was fucking horrifying. the stupid ass dips in the voice- god fuck!!! im so sorry its just what i think but i really hated how jason voice acted aaron during s5. i liked the fact that he was more expressive but he just changed completely- and i liked the small part where he felt like everyone wanted him to be something different now that he was out as a werewolf, but he really did fucking change and it did not feel like he was aaron at all. it felt like seeing a 12 year old find out about age regression and implement it onto a character like aaron's. it felt childish and just weird. jess couldve done way better with aaron during s5.

this shit was long and i feel liek i still have a lot more to say and when i rememebr ill jsut edit it on. no ones probably gonna reach the end of this but if you did, idk how u got so much time reading all this but i lpve you

( i love this picture so much <3 )

[youremyheaven]

AHEM. I WILL BEGIN MY INFODUMP ON THE FREAKINESS OF SOLAR MEN NOW. this is just a pt. 1 because idk how y'all will take this so um i'll just to do the most tame stuff rn.

to preface i'm a lunar woman down & a masochistic sub. that's relevant bc all of my exes are solar doms who happen to also just be doms in the bedroom TT. and i need y'all to remember that when you read this bc all of this is consensual & i dont want to paint it as otherwise because like i said i'm not here to slander them!

anyways so to start these men get off so much to psychological & physical domming of others. literally anything that falls into this category of domming they're into - roughing you up, degradation, wildly imbalanced power play etc.

the weirdest part abt it is that they can sense submission in others from the get-go. despite all my solar exes being doms surprisingly i've never met them off any bdsm dating sites/apps. i met them all in an organic very meet-cute kind of way and yet when we get into the relationship eventually and reflect on our early days like talking abt things like our 1st impressions they will alw admit they could sense that i was submissive from the jump. so that's another thing they can smell that on you immediately.

so i'm going to talk about my latest ex specifically bc i think he exemplifies what i'm most trying to get at here. he's a uphal moon, krittika asc, and pbp sun. and like all my other exes he was a dom too but he took it to lengths i had yet to seen till him.

1st of all solar men's sex drive is insane. mind you no joke i'm clinically a hypersexual myself but it's a lot trying to keep up with them omg. they constantly want it and will shamelessly go for it. it seems almost unconscious to them even (e.x. feeling you up mindlessly)? so with my last ex we were fucking like rabbits so much that it got to the point where i exclusively wore dresses and skirts around him because it was just easier. and we eventually agreed to have me forgo wearing anything underneath if we were hanging at his or my place tg because it was kind of like ... what's the point? we're just gonna end up rolling around with each other at some point today💀

that's why when you said that you love sex i felt so seen because im the same way. it quite literally feels like turning my brain off and i get so dopey happy and calm afterwards like it'll put me straight to sleep. i get rly whiny and sad if i go even a day without soooo stay strong sister you will get through this

anyways a lot of semi-public sex too with solars. like in the car before events, in bathrooms if we can sneak away from said events etc. and they get turned on really easily like it's just not difficult to get them in the mood if they're not already in the mood. solar men also rly like the whole daddy/dad thing. you can literally see their whole face perk up when you acknowledge them in that regard. i cant speak on ddlg specifically because that's not for me personally but in my experience with my exes they've explained the whole daddy/dad kink as just feeding into their powerplay kink so that's how i've come to understand it for them.

the last thing i'll touch on for now (that is if i ever decide to be brave enough to continue sharing with y'all ummmm) is impact play! they seem to like this kind of thing. but not in the way i've seen it manifest for other naks like not in the same way it's depicted in 50 shades of grey for e.x. - in fact i think that guy is a mercurial so def different. solar men are a lot more fun with it. like when they spank you, gag you, slap you etc. it's not rly because they're trying to discipline you or quote on quote teach you a lesson or punish you. it's just bc it's fun to them to see you in that position and it thus feeds into their ego (which is i think at the root of why they like the kind of sex they like. it's an ego thing ultimately) - and personally i'm the type i'm in a giggling fit when i'm getting roughed up like that so it's truly just two ppl having fun and getting off in a weird grossish way one another.

thank you for sharing this 😳I miss sex more than ever and now I'm also intrigued by the idea of banging a Solar man 😳😤

[borathae]

Chapter 25

fuck i dont have time for 10k but lets get this bread lol OH SHIT ITS EXTRA SAD FUCK HOW DO I SQUEEZE SADNESS INTO 20 MINUTES

so he is born between 1210-ish? damn that was one hell of a night ok 1310-ish he left korea for europe (age 100) fuck he was really a gifted healer, trying his best and then all this happens

1500 age 300 he was um not ok fuck thats so sad not remembering anything and just seeing yourself like that WILLIAM?? DAMN

1700 - 500 came back to korea oh he met jimin in this era in russia Taehyung had almost forgotten the language of his home but Jimin refreshed his memories again fuck thats so cute

Taehyung liked that Jimin also drank blood, he had never seen someone else like him before and it made him happy SHIT HE DIDNT KNOW ANOTHER VAMPIRE FOR 500 YEARS OF HIS LIFE??

what he liked most about Jimin was that he helped him not feel anymore. Taehyung still felt joy, annoyance, anger, rage, pleasure. He still felt those things, but he knew they couldn’t hurt him anymore. oh thats nice, to not be hurt by very fucking emotion u get and feel. but idk this feels slightly concerning like did he lose emotions all together or what WAIT IS THAT THE SWITCH IN ONE OF DATES???

he really loved 20th century huh, the art, changes, inventions. thats cute. he is really going to die in this chapter? huh? pls im about to cry

oh 300 years later he is bored. im scared 💀👀😃so tae changed but jimin stayed the same and thats why it looks like vmin is going separate ways hmm but they still care for each other

so tae wanted us as another feed/hunt and joon interrupted that night hmm damn YES ALL THE FAKE PRAISE HE WAS MAKING HER TELL

wow yall call ur man handsome with pure intent so that u can stay safe cuz tae wanted to kill us but then he changed all from a praise

ok im going for a while and imma come back

damn he really was honest in that chapter i didnt expect that lol

*detective aha, YES I KNEW IT WAS THE EMOTION SWITCH now we knoe the histroy, jimin turned it off, it turned on with oc YES BABY U MADE A MAN LIVE AGAIN

ah thats how he was cold again after the chat and thats what jimin meant when he said u turned it on again

damn even he was lying/pretending, he wasnt fuck THATS WHY HE WAS LIKE THAT DAY AND THE BATH

and this is why jimin is asking her to save him, cuz she is turning it on when jimin turns it off. BUT WHY WOULD JAMAL CARE he did all that for centuries and he suddenly cares now?? fuck off aint believing that shit. i aint born yesterday, neither are you

or was jimin under joon's control ever since he introduced him? nah actually, a little before jimin turned off tae's emotion?

anyways im happy i guessed most of tae's lies or at least half yipee

AHA JIMIN IS JOON'S EXPERIMENT AND TAE OF JIMINS

ok so jimin does care hm ok sorry jamal (no trust is better than stolen trust)

JAMAL DONT DIE ON ME WTF MAN I LOVE YOU DONT FUCK NOO BITCH ASS NAMJOON UR GETTING UR ASS WHOPPED BY MY DAD GRANDPA AND MOM

TAEHYUNG AAH I GET YOU JIN AND KOOK BUT PLEASE MY BABIES GOD MY STOMACH HURTS, MY NOSE IS RUNNY, I CAN REALLY PHYSICALLY FEEL MY HEART

sibi i hate you why just why

1500 age 300 he was um not ok fuck thats so sad not remembering anything and just seeing yourself like that WILLIAM?? DAMN

explains why he knows that william shakespear indeed had a male lover 🤪🤪

1700 - 500 came back to korea oh he met jimin in this era in russia Taehyung had almost forgotten the language of his home but Jimin refreshed his memories again fuck thats so cute

no but they were actually so perfect for each other back then 😭

Taehyung liked that Jimin also drank blood, he had never seen someone else like him before and it made him happy SHIT HE DIDNT KNOW ANOTHER VAMPIRE FOR 500 YEARS OF HIS LIFE??

BIG SAD HE IS SO :(

but idk this feels slightly concerning like did he lose emotions all together or what WAIT IS THAT THE SWITCH IN ONE OF DATES???

BINGO 😌😌😌😌

he really loved 20th century huh, the art, changes, inventions. thats cute. he is really going to die in this chapter? huh? pls im about to cry

hahhaha the fear is so valid :--------)

oh 300 years later he is bored. im scared 💀👀😃so tae changed but jimin stayed the same and thats why it looks like vmin is going separate ways hmm but they still care for each other

yes 100% definitely

wow yall call ur man handsome with pure intent so that u can stay safe cuz tae wanted to kill us but then he changed all from a praise

lmaoao he is such a slut for praise fasjdf

damn he really was honest in that chapter i didnt expect that lol

i love just knowing he was actually genuine 😩

*detective aha, YES I KNEW IT WAS THE EMOTION SWITCH now we knoe the histroy, jimin turned it off, it turned on with oc YES BABY U MADE A MAN LIVE AGAIN

YES EXACTLY 👀👀👀👀

ah thats how he was cold again after the chat and thats what jimin meant when he said u turned it on again

yesss exactlyyyy

damn even he was lying/pretending, he wasnt fuck THATS WHY HE WAS LIKE THAT DAY AND THE BATH

YES THISSS

and this is why jimin is asking her to save him, cuz she is turning it on when jimin turns it off. BUT WHY WOULD JAMAL CARE he did all that for centuries and he suddenly cares now?? fuck off aint believing that shit. i aint born yesterday, neither are you

okay but you really have to remember the magic ring fighting off mind control 👀

or was jimin under joon's control ever since he introduced him? nah actually, a little before jimin turned off tae's emotion?

ooooooooooooooh 👀

AHA JIMIN IS JOON'S EXPERIMENT AND TAE OF JIMINS

OOOOOHHHHHHH 👀👀

JAMAL DONT DIE ON ME WTF MAN I LOVE YOU DONT FUCK NOO BITCH ASS NAMJOON UR GETTING UR ASS WHOPPED BY MY DAD GRANDPA AND MOM

:-)

TAEHYUNG AAH I GET YOU JIN AND KOOK BUT PLEASE MY BABIES GOD MY STOMACH HURTS, MY NOSE IS RUNNY, I CAN REALLY PHYSICALLY FEEL MY HEART

:-)

sibi i hate you why just why

:-)

[s0lar-ch3ri]

making this a series ig (spoilers, mostly minor, idk well just have to ROLL WITH IT AND SEE)

episode is starting from zero, episode 1 (quick note: i love how excited everyone is aty the beggining for this camoain, so heartwarming) "'for all you audio listeners your about to hear what a man catching on fire sounds like' 'and also a house catching on fire'" "so its like 3 belts? yeah" "this character sucks not enough belts" ok chip hasnt been described and hes already drawn blood "how much trouble does this woman have keeping her pants up holy shit" "anything that looks valueable, take it" "whats a barrel" instant love with this campaine from here "ill carry this" "ok" "but w h y" “this is the fastest I've ever committed arson in a campaign” "ok as soon as we light this ill let them know so they die an honorable death" "but the barrel is terrified of fire" "so this is a barrel" "lets blow up this popcicle place" hes trying guys "grab a barrel as well i need to study" "in you multitude of belts" when did i forget jay had so many and got bullied for it "i hope she didnt find any more belts in there" ok but whenever i hear marshal jon being described the dopamine just floods out "oh! that wasnt the bathroom!" "no it was not, it was the room where we got the explosives" "WHAT ARE YOU GRABBING THE EXPLOSIVES FOR" "to blow up your ship" bro i loved how gill interacted with people before what an idiot /pos "gill make a-dont make anything you told the truth" gotta love grizzly doing a save "and jay you go to kick this man in the back of the knee and you do you realise that his calf muscles are literally built like boulders" "i want to put my hand on his shoulder" and so it begins the convincing! yes gill go!! "hang on let me see that...big j" "JON, ITS YOUR CHOIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE" "as the door is blown off-" "did somebody fart?" ah yes gill you lit the explosive that makes people fart" "BACHOW!" please dont stop this man from making random noises its great "is your skin always wet or is it dry?" GRIZZ ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS!! "you are to learn a lesson from the moisture master!" remember when gill made his title canon now, its 6 seconds to 20 minutes in "THOSE PIRATES!" man knowing him now its kinda strange to hear him hunting them down "i just occasonally grab people and im like 'you can be better'" cant believe gill went from telling people to be better to just immedately trying to solve their problems (like not even 2 episodes later if im remembering right) "excellent jay you are a fog frog" "im gonna steal somebody's hat then run out the door" jay stealing chips job now "im passing the barrel out the window" i remember when hed just be a problem for any stealth kind of movements "MY FRIEND SAID HE DOESNT WANT YOU TO HAVE AN ADVANTAGE" "there is still time" ITS STARTING WOW "you get the sense this guy cannot see very well" i forgot he had sight problems "YOU BLEW A HOLE IN OUR TOWER" "and you blew a hole in my heart" ACCIDENTAL FORESHADOWING AND A GREAT MOMENT FOR SHIPPERS?? HOW MUCH IS CHARLIE FEEDING US WITH GILLION TIDESTRIDER!?!!? (spoiler: a lot) "can i make a persuasion check?" "sure" if charlie never said this we would never have the future pirate jon, IF HE NEVER GOT A 16 THINK WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED "you cant tell if i cry a single tear or if im usually that moist" the fact that he is can make for an angsty hc that nobody really would notice gill crying "jon didnt make it" oh this better not be another accidental foreshadow "you see, a pink frogtupus" everyone being excited for the preztal reveal was also all of us huh dont lie! "i look like a big flounder" fanartists canon gill description /j "god damn it big j" friendly reminder that (from what ive seen) marshal jon is the only character gill gave a nickname, and he had met him like 20+ minutes ago "YA BOY GILL ABOUTA BE FRIED" "ima just grab them both and jump" ngl i cant put my finger on it but calmer gillion probs the chaos control thats needed because of him being feral "jon this is for you" *proceeds to get an 8* (would have been epic if he suceeded that charisma tho) "jon, the power is- eyeh" "i look over wistfully (?) 'but w h y?'"

[meet-at-tycho]

OKAY MORE I CANT HELP IT...

you better believe i show them off, too. like no ones business im always LOOK. AT WHAT MY FRIEND DID... look, im so proud of them 😽😽 i really am like WOW!!! idk im enamored anything they do is the best thing in the world to me. whats that about rose tinted glasses? thats how it is SORRYYYY cant help it you are perfect to me and i love you like. IM ENTHRALLLED theres a lot of words i could use to describe how i feel about them. hooked is a good one, absolutely CAPTIVATED, hook line and sinker baby im in heaven 🥳 im still coping cuz im still lonely but. if i flood my mind with the thought of them, itll be enough to get my thru til they come back :]

dude i remember last halloween? best halloween ever okay I . i mightve been dying of sleep deprivation but i got correctly gendered the entire fucking day AND. i had my bestie in my phone, idc if i looked rude or anything talking to her the whole fcking day? i feel so. LOST when im without them, so knowing i had her with me the entire time like. I REALLY HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME.. i wish i could relive that day over and over again, but i still have more days to experience!!! shes so creative and brilliant and fucking UNHINGED like a little rat crawling thru the walls WHATS WRONG WITH HER.... idk but i love it :] she absolutely is carrying like. prehistoric diseases i dont know how and i dont know when shes gonna dispatch them but im afraid

or like? my birthday was a good example. neither of them knew it was cuz i dont like to tell people but.. we spent the day together and it . i was genuinely so happy, its the first birthday i havent ended up crying on. like YEAH yr right you WERE the gift!!!!!!! you genuinely were im. KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING

i spend the so much time with him, SIR. the man that you are im. only incomprehensible growling and barking comes to mind when i think of you BUT it translates to: YOU ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!!! no hes so silly for real i genuinely cant get enough of him. i remember. even the very first time we vced like just us, it wasnt even really awkward at all!!!! felt a little unsure but I HAD SO MUCH FUN.. our chemistry.. mr whiter..... really though its. or that time we spent like 12 hours in call together. i used to feel so sad when calls ended, sad enough that id just start avoiding them cuz i didnt really know when it would happen again, SO? thats like A WHOLE ENTIRE DAY.... we spent a whole day together and it went GOOD it was so .. perfect. such a big deal to me cuz like. i dont leave my house, i dont SOCIALIZE REALLY.. so to go for so long without even getting tired?? its genuinely a really big step for me. HE DID THAT...

but.. dont just love them for how they make me feel. i love everything about them. when shit gets hard i wanna try my best to be there cuz ive had people give up on me and it fucking sucked, i wont ever give up on you. they really are so special to me like. the best people ive ever met in my entire life and i MEAN that. you are so worth it, anything at all. ill be here!!! i wont ever leave you behind, how could i ever do that? my love doesnt come from what they do for me, it comes from THEM directly. their personalities, their hobbies, interests. glasses get rosier, theres nowhere id rather be! it feels so good to just.. idk. i like being here, i feel stable and comfortable and its all thanks to them

MAN dont talk to me ever. never speak to me!!! lot of feelings okay but. listenn..... ive got two eyes, one for each apple. EASY. lovemaxxing or whatever

[eddywoww]

I live in a more conservative area in the US. My family isn't, but whatever. Being LGBT was looked down upon in this area, my parents made sure to tell me it was ok and people were close minded (hell they even left the church they went to and started their own). They were great parents.

That being said the surrounding area was not. Got bullied in school for being gay, even though I simply was just focused on academics. I wanted an A more than I wanted the D am I right? Hm. It frustrated me because no one even asked and I was straight. This went on from when I was 10 to 17, when I finally graduated and got out of that area. The bullying was intense, from something as simple as name calling to having group projects turned in without my name but slurs on it to getting physically pushed around and shoved.

I went to college and met some cool people. Went to a pride parade as an ally. Started learning about different labels. Proclaimed to be demisexual with a desire for men because I still didn't really have any sexual desire and again, focused on school.

When I was 21 I moved to an entire new area for my job. Met a girl in her 30s who has a kid (12 or 13 at the time I dont remember) who came out as nonbinary and pan. Good for them! The woman was an "ally" except-

Tried forcing me to come out. Many times. Put me in secret uncomfortable situations. Some highlights of things she did were: take me to a gay bar without telling me thats where we were and then paying someone to kiss me and then kept asking if I realized I was gay because I didn't push the person away (I was shocked), after I claimed I was demisexual claimed that I had repressed my sexuality because society inherently tells you to be straight and that I was truly a lesbian, would claim I was a virgin if I never slept with a man because a woman couldn't take that so if i had "religious trauma" and wouldn't sleep with anyone based on keeping virginity i could with a woman and be fine (which I dont have any, my parents formed that church and were all inclusive and its a safe space hell they even organized pride events before the town did), and the worst of all got me drunker then I've ever been to the point I could barely stand and left me with a guy who had a crush on me who kept coming onto me. She talked to him and I saw her wink at him and she left me with this dude who got too handsy if you know what I mean. Nothing under the clothes happened thank God, and really it was my own fault for drinking so much at her place *she had many people over, I actually drank less then other people but still*. I asked why she left me with him and she said she was tired, then later said she wasn't surprised he tried anything and then said "well you're definitely gonna be gay now and not want to be with a man".

I left that area behind as my career progressed and it hit me, damn she was kinda fucked up. Kissed a few people and realized hold on I do have a sexual drive hello, and I dont have to get to know people first to have it?? Not demi then. Cool! Realised that the woman kinda fucked me up. I'm doing therapy which...is ok. But I got on Tumblr and have been on

And I've met some cool people. I've realized huh I guess a straight person doesn't think about boobs and vaginas while they get off. The dicks made sense, but the rest? And it hit me Holy shit im bi?? I think??

In my mind, being LGBT was okay but ME oh no suddenly it was the worst thing in the world. And im realizing its okay for me. Idk why I thought it wasn't except for the intense bullying. One thing that made me realize was everyone on tumblr. Like I said I met some cool people. I havent sent everyone a message because I want to be anonymous still. But you're one of the people who have helped me realize its ok. It is okay for me! So thank you for that. One of your fics really helped when I was first struggling with the realization and...thank you. It may not seem like a big thing to you, but its changed my life.

Thank you so much for sending me this. Like actually truly.

First of all, I’m so sorry for the situation with your ex friend. I can’t stand when people need to push and push to get the reaction THEY want, it sickens me deeply. Im sorry you went through that and I’m so happy you’re in therapy and that you’ve discovered yourself now.

It actually IS big to me when I hear about bisexual people accepting themselves. I don’t talk about it here much but I too grew up in a conservative area. I dropped out of school for bullying, etc but had the opposite story of knowing I was bisexual very young and not knowing how to word it? I just knew it was “bad” and I went to church a lot and I needed to repent for it. So I get that part in a warped way.

I think it gets to me for a very personal reason. There’s this inherent shake when you’ve been made to feel bad about your sexuality that resurfaces at random. I had an ex boyfriend who was obsessed with my sexuality in the opposite way. He was abusive and thought I was cheating constantly with my best friend, would call me a d*ke and a f*g constantly (almost always before some sort of physical abuse) and I was just deeply ashamed of my self, to the point of being biphobic at points.

What I’m getting at here is I came out after we broke up and I expected it to be this dawn of time shit because my family is accepting too! And I remember my mom getting upset and going, “Are you sure this isn’t about your breakup? Are you okay?” And I kind of just wanted to fucking scream. Or the way family members treat it like I’m divulging some sort of sexual secret. My sister coming out as bi years later really helped me. Dating someone who both did not care and didn’t want to sexualize me made it better.

In between all that, I ended up dating a girl who I could tell from the get go doesn’t see me (still now as friends) as “gay enough”. None of my struggle or my problems are the same, none of my fears are warranted, etc. that’s fine. I don’t need suffering to know who I am. What I’m trying to get at is even after years there are still tiny things that eat away at me but I’ve learned coping skills and developed friendships that make me feel so much better. And hearing stories from other people helps so much too. So thank you for telling me yours, it means a lot to me. I know you weren’t asking for a wordy response but I just woke up and I’m a sensitive bitch 😂

I’m sorry for the things you’ve gone through and I wish the world had been kinder to a young you. I’m glad you’re better now and if you ever need to message someone (if you ever choose to not be anon) I’m around ☺️💕

[midknitefox]

My reactions to Dr who's newest season cuz I'm just now catching up (I forgot to keep watching after episode 1 so I'm on episode 2. anyways. spoilers below the cut.)

BRO NO WAY.

I WAS GWTRING S1 DR WHO WIRH ROSE VIBBES ALR IMSBSJSBSJSBSJSBSHSHSJSB AAAAAAAA

episode 1 doctor saves ruby Sunday from this crisis thing that she's somehow gotten herself into.

ep2: space station in the far future. "my mums long gone now isn't she" "let me see your phone"

STOP THS ABAHSVSJZBAJBDJSNSJSZN

IM GONMA CRY NOOOOO

Rose was my favorite companion (probs because I started watching new who when I was young since It came out the same year I was born. probs a mistake since I dont remember anything that's not Clara or Rose tyler. anyways.)

she's a blondie with a leather jacket and. and.

idk I'm going out on a limb comparing their appearances but tHE PHNE THING

Rose handing Eccleston her flip phone vs Ruby handing Gatwa her modern phone I'm (I don't have pictures but just trust me I'm going insane. I started rewatching s1 recently for nostalgia so it's fresh in my mind.)

watch "I'll catch you in a minute merry christmas" turn into "Hi I'm back after half a year what'd I miss" 😭 if they do that ima be real mad but I'm sure they won't cuz that wouldn't make SENSE. do keep in mind. I'm only on episode 2..

what the fuck. talking baby. I'm losing my mind this is so funny OH MY GOD. IM SORRY IM LOSING IT THIS IS INSAN

"when was the last time you had a hug?" "never" casually breaks down in tears.

stop

stop fr stop "nobody grows up wrong. you are what you are and that is magnificent."

can u tell I'm going insane

the doctor scaring the babies is so funny to me help 😭

ok this is depressing.

"I've met a million ugly bugs. IM an ugly bug." lmao. doctor. I love you.

HOLY SHIT BABIES WITH A FLAMETHROWER

she reminds me of rose I'm going to explode man...

SJSJJAHSJABSJSZB "Ruby it's snot!" "it's not!" I'm crying 😭

NOOOO NOT THE BOGEYMAN THE DOCTOR LOOKS SO SD ☹️😭 MAN why this episode so. man..

this is so sweet but the babies speaking is so surreal to me it's uncanny......... help what ????

AND SH GETS A KEY TO THE TARDIS? HOLY SHIT THIS IS. Im losing my shit :3

I love them screaming like teenage girls

and bros laying down the "we can't go to ur past to this pivotal moment in your life to meet the parent you never got to meet"

I feel like rose could've used that lesson, huh? paradox avoidance moment when rose created a paradox and now they're visiting mum ok! is mum gonna find out about and OMG JFHZJZBSJSHSJS. "TELL YOUR MUM NOT TO SLAP ME" IM GENUNELY GONA CRY HELP. PLS OH MAN.

What the fuck does the screen thing at the very end say wtf is happening huh???? now I'm just CONFUSED STOP DOING THIS ARGH

ok I was planning on watching episode 3 next and writing down my thoughts but I can FEEL MY HEART RACING as if I just drank half a can of monster so I need to CHILL. OK thats all I have to say bye !!!! I'll probably do this again tmr !

no I'm not fixing any spelling errors I misspell things when I'm excites it happens

[b1mbodoll]

AAAAAAA OMG DO I HAVE A LONG ASS ASK FOR YOU. MY DATE/NOT DATE HAS JUST CONCLUDED....

So a little back story - I worked with this guy this past summer and like the first time we met I alr liked him. Like he was exactly my type. Like 100%. But I'm super shy (never dated anyone, never kissed anyone, never held hands with anyone) so I never really did anything obvious that I liked him bc I was nervous. We kind of flirted (maybe) a lot near the end of the summer. We texted a lot a lot but he ended up moving up to college for his apartment earlier than expected so we never got to see eachother after our last days of work. There was lots of drama on my end surrounding that trust. Like mental anguish bc I fumbled the bag hard.

Anyways. We start school respectively (I go to school in NY and him in TX) and we don't talk that often, just snap like everyday. But as the semester goes on we reply to each other's stories and have short, friendly convos more frequently. Flashforward to like, a week ago or something. I reply to his insta story and we start talking. He finds out that I'm going home for Thanksgiving and he is to so he asks me to hang out. This is odd bc we weren't close enough as friends for me to think that he would ask to see me.

Anyways again, I'm skipping details bc otherwise I'll never finish this lmao - the date/not date was like everything else we do. Vaguely romantic but could also be friendly. He picked me, we ate dinner and then went ice skating together. He walked up to my door to get me, held open doors for me, and opened the car door to walk me back to my house after we got back. But like - no moves were made. No attempts to hold my hand or kiss me. AT ALL. But like he also complimented my butterfly hair lips like sir 😭😭 idk what you want from me.

But now I'm feeling kind of tired of 6-7 months of not knowing where we stand with eachother. So I texted him afterwards saying "Thank you so much for tonight, I loved seeing you again! Although, I did want to know if it was a date or if it really was intended as just a hangout, bc it did seem like it sometimes? Either way, I'd love to meet up with you again if we're both in town!" He then liked bith of the thank you messages and replied, we definitely should. But then he replied to the daye/not date ask with - I don't know. I'll have to think about it. He then said something about it being more than he anticipated but still good, so idk if that means that it wasn't intended as a date but became one and he enjoyed it or if he meant it as a date but I fumbled the bag (I give just as many mixed signals bc I'm an anxious coward lmao) but it still ended up okay.

HOWEVER, I AM A GENIUS, LIKE RIZZ MASTER 1000. I accidentally left something in his car so tmmr morning he's gonna drive back to drop it off (It's like an hour round trip for him). And tomorrow is the day I will stop being a bitch. I'm gonna tell him that I'm interested but that I also do genuinely enjoy him as a person so like, however he intends to meet up with ne in the future I'll be okay with that.

So yeah. Story time over 🫶🫶🫶🫶 Sorry that it's actually so long but I remember how excited you were so I wanted to let you know how it went 💗💗💗💗

IM ON MY KNEES RN STOP u r so cute and agh!!!!!! i will be needing an update with whatever happens pretty please, honey 🤲

im so ☹️☹️☹️ u guys went ice skating ☹️ that’s so so so so fucking cute!!!!!! that actually is so cute my heart cant take it ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ but no moves being mad.. 🤬 yeah i need to have a stern talking to with this man!!! what r ur intentions with my little angel, you HEATHEN!!! hehe no but srsly dont be anxious sweetheart! i know its hard n way easier said than done, but you seem so wonderful and im sure he thinks that as well! im so glad you had a good time <3

rizz master 1000 has me crying omg ur too silly 😭 but him driving AN HOUR TO GIVE U UR THINGS STOP IT my little heart is so warm :( im proud of u for messaging him and asking for clarification about what the lil hangout was! n pls u r anything BUT a bitch!!!!! ur perfect and i hope things work out well with him!

dont apologize for he length! i love anything romance so inwas looking forward to this update!!!! wishing u the best of luck with him <3 mwah

[dear-happypills]

2025

i think...

i used to be better.

at least in some ways.

maybe... in other ways im better now.

...

idk.

....

i cant remember the last time i set resolutions.

not that i dont think i need them, but i know too well...

.... .... oh, God knows, how i regress.

....,

and so here is its:

regression............

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠋⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣰⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣀ ⠉⠉⠉⠉⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⡽⣏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣽⣿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣷⣦⣄⣀⣠⣴⣾⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

its a black hole.

i dont know when or where it began. but once it did, it has consumed everything and anything...................................

2025 is but a moment ...

.... and that moment has already fallen into the black hole. and is merely a replay of a space-time i have already lived.

...

...

...

they say a new years is about seeing how you can change and grow from what you were last year.

.... but i think a new year is about coming to terms with, and being able to life with the me, that i was, and am, and will be.

...

-------

-------

happypills: YEA. GREAT way to start the new year.

me: jesus, you just sound like everyone else.

happypills: cliche has its reasons yooo. dont deny its power.

me: -_-;;;;;; okay. what are you going to do for this new year???

happypills: aaaOH. i didnt know we were going there. WELLLll.... if you have to ask. i think 2025 is all about PROgression.

yah know???

because im a pro at gressing and shit.

me: .... i uh.... uh. i dont think you understand what progressionmeans.

happypills: PWUH. i know. i know.... it's when you reach NEW HEIGHTS. breakthroughssss. just...

*makes fisting motion to the sky

... just.... conquer new territories. and just...

*makes a bird flying motion with hands

... fly, OUTTA here

yah know???

me: .... like... you mean finally dying???

happypills: whaddaPILL????!!! NO. i dont mean dying. i mean like.....

LIKE....................

what happened to... like those days... in your twenties. when you were travelling to new planes and discovering a new paradigm??!!

me: yea.... yea... sounds like dying to meh..........

happypills: ugggggggghhhhhhhhhh. you have no appreciation for life.

me: oh wow, ....... what has life done, other than KILL me....?

happypills: -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;; that,............ LITERALLY makes NOOOOO SENSE.

me: .OH. ... PLEASE> YOUUUUU make no sense.

happypills: ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. I DUNNNO.

one might say. you are your own black hole...

...

and you just bitchin all the time that you cant get out.

me: ohhhh. ohhhhhhhh JEEZ. i didnt know that one of your resolutions for 2025 was to be a critical pillhole. and ignore the science of a blackhole pulling in every conceivable thing, including light.

happypills: relax. you NEED to hear this.

me: -_-;;; what does happypills know about needs......??????

happypills: ............................................ >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> you know.... before i met you................

i wanted to be..... like a hero. a hero that saves lives.

me: LOL.

happypills: yea., yea. i know. but thats what i wanted. maybe even i wanted to be a hero before the fact that i saved lives....

but.

at some point, i realized that i couldnt even save myself...

id just be consumed...... as the pill that i was.

used. and forgotten.

or.

even maybe i was a crutch.

a blasphemous reliance to relieve pain for others for a moment, but never the solution.

...

...

the reason i came to you.... was never because i wanted it.

i think when i realized what i wanted was foolish, i needed to know what i needed.

...

...

and in my search -- across space and time -- i saw that YOU needed me.

....

NOONE. needed me like you needed me.

............

and I needed that.

...

my needs???

my needs are never something i can do on my own.

my needs. are grace.

the type of grace, that will sustain this year.

whether if i live, or die.

am gone. or am here.

am above

or below.

.

a grace that is present. eternally.

to give.............. awareness.. lucidness.... and breathe. to see a world behind the curtains.... that extends beyond the known universe

to move, walk, and dance, in understanding. and purpose. and wisdom.

though i have done nothing to earn it.

....................

yah know???????????????? progressing ......... towards eternity. .... and beyond.

towards........

me: SO, ................. you mean like.............. progressing towards... dying????

happypills: -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; gawd, ...........

NO.

imean.....

ijuhsmean.

.... like epiphanies.... LIFECHANGING epiphanies.

...

and the adventures we have had.

lol. think of how far we have come.

and how much further to go.

me: ...................................... -_-;;;; ... why is it that everything you say sound like dying???!

happypills: ok. nvm. NVM.

i giveup.

i give up on 2025.

its cancelled.

BYE.

*walks away...........................................

me: .................... *shouts to happypills: I DUNNO.... .DOESNT SOUND LIKE GRACE ETERNAL.

*happypills continues to walk away .... and flips me off.

- happypills

[autisticlee]

every year I get angry? depressed? some sort of bad feeling???? around my birthday. and not just because im getting older and still have done nothing with my life...

I dont have friends. we all know that already. but I never truly did. I never had a birthday party with friends. only seen every kid around me have them and most adults too tbh. every year since i was like 10 probably, I try to convince people I know irl to at least pretend to be my friends and do something with me. no one will. the excuse used to be "im busy because it's close to Christmas" but now just everyone straight up ignores me more than anything. guess they got tired of making up excuses? (maybe it's true though and i'm overthinking that people couldn't possibly be busy days after Christmas for 20 years in a row...)

every year my birthday has been trash. I had little baby family parties until I was I think 5. and I only remember one of these parties. the last one. I only remember being really sick, sleeping through the party, and waking up to everyone being gone. I was very upset. wanted a redo my whole childhood. but my sister was born the next year and she got the parties instead of me now. (parents could only afford one and mine was too close to Christmas so it was "too hard")

I was determined to make up for only having one party I remembered that went bad. so when I turned 10 or 11 or 12 (forget east year) I invited school friends and classmates to my party. had my parents make food and a cake and buy decorations and set it all up. then we waited. for hours. my dad made me call everyone I had phone numbers for. their parents all said they weren't home. but they never showed up at my party! not a single person did! then when we went back to school, they all laughed and made fun of me because they hung out together and skipped my party 🫠

after years of failing irl, I started trying to do twitch streams and coop games with online friends. had a few people here and there do a game with me. but it was never a large turnout to do games I really wanted, and the 1 or 2 times I got 1 or 2 people werent the most fun. (like a few years ago trying to do a silly game and getting yelled at by the 2 playing with me for goofing around and being unserious,,,,when I told them beforehand I wanted to goof around and laugh and be unserious!!!!)

but playing games still isnt the same as having a birthday party where you are celebrated and get to do what you want with people who want to be there for you and have a good time or whatever you do for those idk.

Last year I bought plane tickets for a friend I met online to visit for about a month as a birthday gift to myself. everything that could have gone wrong did basically though. 🙃 her flight experience was a nightmare (delays making her nearly a day late. lost luggage. many tears. etc.) the day she got here I started getting sick. we planned to go to a con for my birthday weekend. she had us drive 2 hours meet up with her other friends so they can see her. she invited her other friend to come here at my house and stay for Christmas week to visit her and go to the con with us. my parents didn't like this sudden other person staying. they threw a fit at me the whole time. she got another friend to come to the con. I ended up getting everyone sick. when we got to the hotel for the con, I was so sick that I had to stay in the hotel and missed the con. we were supposed to drive the 3rd person home like 8 hours away and stay there for a night, but we were too sick so they ended up staying at my house too until they could take a train home like 5 days later. my family was extra angry at me for that. but it wasn't my fault or plan!

now i'm not allowed to have any friend visit amd stay again. they have to stay at a hotel (no one can afford that) so I guess it will never happen again. none of these people really talk to me anymore after this happened :/

basically that was supposed to be my bday thing to make up for all my lost and shitty birthdays before this by having my friend visit and going to a con and having a little hotel bday party. but ended up being more for my friend to see all her friends and no one caring about my bday and then I got really sick and everyone else sick and they were all mad at me for it and for other things (i ended up most sick though and was sick for almost 5 months, dislocated a rib or 2 from coughing so hard, and seem to have either developed or got worsened POTS symptoms that never got better ugh) and my family was yelling at me about everything the whole time and for months after. I didn't make up for anything. instead I had the worst birthday yet!!!!!! because I can never have anything nice!!!

this year im throwing myself a surprise birthday party. by that mean actually logged onto facebook and figured out how to make an event and invited everyone on there. the surprise would be if anyone comes. but looks like it won't be a surprise party after all, since no one is coming :(

just talked family into going out to dinner at the very least. but they're also very sick and might not make it anyway. so might just be only me in the end (maybe my mom tho since my bday is finally not on a work day)

I appreciate family agreeing to it at least. but i'd still like to experience a (successful) birthday outing/celebration/party with friends like most other people get to experience at least once in their lives, where I have one day where it's all about me (since every other day of the year I do not want to be perceived at all lmao and never ask for anything or try to "get my way" if that makes sense) but looks like the universe bans me from having nice things for some reason :((

today/tomorrow i'm trying to have people play games online with me. that never works out but it's my backup for my friendless birthday dinner. I know I won't get to play the games I want to most. I never get to. i'll be surprised if I can get someone to play something with me D:

starting to think I should completely give up trying to have one day of the year that's mine. couldn't have it as a kid (where I remembered it, since i'm sure when I turned 2 or 3 it was a very me centric day) and I definitely can't seem to have it as am adult when everyone tells me adults don't get to have nice things like friends anymore :/ sighs what's the point of life when no one cares about you even once a year on the anniversary of your existence 😭

I hate having a birthday. why does it exist. it's here to mock and make fun of me. birthdays are fpr people with friends and money and a life purpose and life and a life worth celebrating and all that stuff I don't have 🥲 the "do it for my birthday" excuse has never worked for me. so why do I even try!!!!!!

[nolightsss]

very very last rant

so yea, last rant na talaga to. this christmas HEAVILY reminded me of her bc of my relatives asking abt her.. like bro they were looking for her and asking what happened and why. made me kind of sad.. ion know theres a part of me thinking na what if binigyan nya ako chance for the last time and see what actually could've been. sana pinilit ko pa bc i know and im sure of myself na at that time na damn im gonna do everything right na and im gonna do my very best na to make her feel everythjng she deserves to feel. tinry ko naman best ko before but i was stupid and naive bc i still didn't know paano ba yung tama. idk.. siguro if she wasn't my first, if i met her after i learned all stuffs i need to, i think it would've worked out.. idk why im think abt this pero i swear this is the last time na. yea she did me wrong din at some point pero she made me feel the best pa rin and i know she was still as naive as me when it comes to relationships. we were young, we were dumb in love i guess.. honestly whenever i think of her lahat nalang ng naaalala ko are the good parts kasi nakuha ko na kalimutan lahat ng bagay na nakasakit sakin, maybe bc i actually do love her unconditionally.. which is sad bc it kinda makes me scared saan ko pa maffeel yung ganito bc i dont think it will be easy and it will haunt me. pero yea i dont know i just choose not to worry and js actually go w the flow of things. im talking to someone na and yea she makes me feel special and i wanna make her feel special too.. i wanna do everything right. pero everytime i remember her, wala na ko maisip except me wishing her the best and sana makuha na nya yung deserve nya.. i really can't hate her, ever.. she's forever gonna have a soft spot sakin. ig this is the last time im gonna talk abt her na. in another life i guess, it could turn out differently. pero maybe things are meant to happen and im just about to find out why. who knows. i just wish everyone well, esp her.. sana wala syang dalang trauma or anything bad from me sa future rs nya. tbh i still have stuffs na bitbit from the rs and all the bad things that happened, i guess inaamin ko medyo may trauma pa ako hahwgshs. but its my own fight na and i can never blame her, i can never hate her. i hope next year will be better na. yun lang wkfnmfk bye tumblr na talaga

[ask-alois]

OOC information / about

🦋 i answer questions in character as alois

🦋 admittedly im not a very formal typer irl anyways, but all slang/acronyms/typos are in character . i dont think alois would be very formal with this lol its just his own lil blog

🦋 keep in mind that while this is a form of rp , this is an ask blog , and everything here is over the internet . this isnt paragraph / third-person style rp . alois is using tumblr ( or whatever vague social media u wanna pretend this is ) and you are seeing him post . does tht make sense? ^^;; these kinds of blogs were way moare popular wen i was a kid but i dont really see this kind of rp around these days . ueueueueueueue ;w;

🦋 modern setting ( not this exact year / timeline , like not specifically 2024 , just . not victorian era . since this wouldn't be possible if it was LOL )

🦋 alois is 14. dont be a creep*

🦋 please do not expect Alois to be sweet to u . he is a right brat ( as is canon ) , especially if hes in a bad mood . he can be sweet / friendly too , but dont get mad or sad or whatever if he reponds in a bratty or mean way to your question / ask

🦋 if u wanna paragraph-style rp , ask and maybe we can !! ive been wanting to actually , it probs would just be separate from this blog lol , i wouldnt be turning this account into a paragraph style rp blog , itd get confusing / jumbled up on tha dash

🦋 im more than happy to interact with other kuroshit characters !! ciel , lizzie , finny , sebastian , etc-- all are welcome , even if they never interacted in the anime . just remember , as stated above : alois may not always play nice ;3

🦋 as of right now , he currently has no relationships with other characters outside the household** . i havent decided if he knows ciel yet or if ciel is just that stuffy earl who barely attends any parties or does any press interviews sbxbGZBNXJXJXA

🦋 ^^^ following that : while demons do exist / claude is still a demon in the AU that is this blog's canon , things are chiller rn . if we follow the canon of the anime ciel and alois are gonna end up killing eachother pretty quickly lol , for the sake of longevity lets just ignore the part where claude and sebastian manipulate alois and ciel into turning against ecahother 🫶💕 . that isnt to say theyre bffs all of a sudden, of course . catch alois posting about how he met THE ciel phantomhive at a party and hes such a snot nosed little brat 🙄 . " guys i got stabbed 🧍🏽 " dhxjGAJFJABNFMVMVKVA

🦋 please do not godmod , or try to establish a ship without asking me ( even platonic relationships , dont just pop in like "hey its me ur best friend that you totally talk to every night remember that time we went bowling ?" ) . im not currently interested in playing with OCs but if you send enough asks you may become ur own character lol / it may just happen naturally

🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋

* he might flirt or make a dirty joke or whatever, if it would be in character for him to do so at the moment. i get it , i was also hypersexual at a young age due to trauma . thts not an invitation 2 be a creep!! u dont need 2 focus on it, or send really explicit asks !! behave !!

** if you know anything about alois , you will know what TWs this blog has . that being said , i dont anticipate things like that coming to the forefront ? it isnt something that will be focused on , not right now at least-- idk if anything super angsty is gonna happen / get brought up in tha future . THAT being said , claude is still mistreating alois and alois is still attached to him . you will be able to pick up on it if ur paying attention , but again , thats just something thats going on in the background for now

to be clear , my portrayl of their relationship here is not romanticized / fluffy / shippy ( except for maybe from alois's pov sometimes ? like omg claude is so great blah blah blah or whatever ) but i mean . lol . its pretty much canon , isnt it ? that alois loves claude , and claude does not love him back . it isnt healthy or happy and is something alois struggles with rather than being anything ~shippy~ , but again i figured i should warn for it , because while not being focused on right now it may come up later

[ebdanon]

something is off with me because im not sure why you were worried about where i was going with the story 🥲 i mean i know its a shitty story but i never expect anything horrible to happen

and yeah there's never been a single reasonable parent between mine and my husband's parents lmao while his dont care about arguing in front of strangers as long as the scene looks like they're the victims, mine have always strived to appear perfect in front of strangers. i met my in laws a couple of months after we started dating, i was invited over for dinner, and my mil had no problem starting a screaming match about some local politician's election promises. on the other hand, i met my best friend over a decade ago, when her family moved to the apartment next door to my family's. the building is structured in a way where we shared a single wall across half of the rooms, e.g. my and her bedrooms were separated by a single wall, and if we felt like hanging out, we'd knock on that wall to let the other one know lol her family never knew about a single raised voice or argument or anything in my family despite those things happening regularly, because all those things happened in the room that was most remote from all other neighbors, so that my parents could continue presenting a pristine image to the rest of the world. now both sets of parents are irritated with us because we never have arguments, since we're able to sort out any misunderstanding calmly and quietly - no malice, vengeance, or ego - because we both understand how bad they are from growing up in a similar way. we both saw one of those "its not you vs me, it's us against the problem" quotes and took it to heart lmaoo

funny story, i feel like fate or the universe was involved in us meeting because it turned out we'd been orbiting each other's lives and friend groups the entire time before we first saw each other, which is kinda weird. like both of us being at the same time and place, but never seeing each other. ive seen pictures of us at the same parties in bars, separated by a table or two. or even just hanging out with friends, my friends had a preferred bench at a local park, turned out so did his, and it was literally the one 30ft away at the same park. we knew each other's friends but never actually saw one another so we could meet until we were in our 20s lmao the universe kept saying "not yet" till we grew up 😂 quite literally, my other best friend knew him personally but i never even saw him until years later lmao

anyway, a day after the whole shitstorm argument, and we have my mil twisting everything to fit her worldview. for example she claims she never called me a piece of shit, she was actually calling my husband that, despite me literally quoting when and how it happened, it's being turned into me "misremembering" despite it happening multiple times, but i only quoted one situation, but its fine because that's what narcissists do lmao

the fact that you WERE surprised i was worried is concerning 😭

also thats very sweet with your husband, the invisible string of it all 🥺 its crazy how you can orbit someone for years and not even realize it. i remember one of my best friends and i discovered we were at the same party one night our sophomore year of college and completely missed each other. i was there with my shitty ex roommates and met some people there who were also not the greatest to me but sometimes i think i needed that to get to where im at now

also my mom does the same thing tbh but idk if shes doing it maliciously or actually has memory issues 😭 girl had insomnia and lack of sleep can fuck your memory. but it drives me NUTS