#and idk if this is corny but this has never been cultivated bc

[bandzboy]

i don’t know if you’re an army but yoongi did not write snooze for his “fans” to go and shit on the very juniors he was trying to comfort with the lyrics

i am not exactly an army i'm more of a casual listener but i know the song and it's a very nice song really but also this brings up these discussions i've been seeing on twt about how some armys don't even read their lyrics or even care much about their music as much as they say they do and it's sad

[wttcsms]

i just wanted to ask your advice about life and grad school and trying to not think about the prestige of certain schools since i feel like you'd just provide a lot of insight on it, and sometimes i feel lost in my life even though i'm pretty young still haha! but sometimes i'm nervous on the fact that i may not get into a good college but idk if that makes sense ^^

hi!!! i personally really enjoy talking abt my academic (+professional) career & i am so honored that you would come to me for any type of advice omg!!! i will say that being young comes with a lot of bouts of insecurity; when i went to my original university, i admittedly didn't have much school spirit or even pride for it. i chose it because i got a full ride academic scholarship to attend, and once you're in college, you realize just how EXPENSIVE the Real World actually is, and so, even though my first university didn't necessarily come with a lot of "prestige" (even kids back home didn't wanna go there LOL), it was a very smart decision for me to attend there because i graduated with my bachelor's, high honors, with no debt!!

i also used to be obsessed with the prestige of schools, and as i look into phd programs, i suddenly am transported back to when i was younger + worried about how a school name would look on my final transcript or resume. the truth is, prestige doesn't guarantee you much.

i will say that certain universities and colleges can help you network, but it doesn't really matter if those relationships are shallow, right? we (and profs you have) aren't going to be so inclined to help you out with 100% enthusiasm if they don't really know you too well, right? so for me, even though the first university i attended was honestly kind of crappy, i decided to make the best of it! professors are humans too, and it's hard for them (esp during freshman & sophomore classes) to connect with students, and most students aren't going to want to put forth the effort to have a relationship with them. i made it an effort to introduce myself to a select few profs, i would attend office hours, i would make a point to engage during lectures, etc. i basically stood out from my peers, and in the long run, that has helped greatly, esp when it came time for me to turn in letters of recommendation for grad school. my "deeper" relationships that i spent a semester (or several semesters; the college was small and i had the same profs for several classes lol) cultivating paid off bc i had spectacular, personalized letters of rec that probably would have been harder for me to obtain had i attended a "prestigious" school where im certain a bunch more students would be vying for the prof's attention OR the professor would be too busy with their own workload and research to really be attentive to me.

while at the "crappy" university i attended for undergrad, i managed to secure two internships, one w/ jp morgan. lots of interns never heard of my school, and believe it or not, with the ivy league students i interacted with, they either knew the same amount or even less of what was going on than i did. they go to great colleges, fantastic schools, have been attending private feeder schools that would land them at these prestigious schools i'm sure you're looking at, and the fact of the matter is, it's not like everyone who attends there is a genius. when i was younger, i thought that the school you attend is directly associated with how smart you are, but that is def not the case. never, ever, ever question your intelligence if the school you want doesn't accept you. it's so corny, but rejection really IS redirection.

what i really want you to realize is that a good college is purely dependent upon YOU, as a student. form genuine connections with your profs (these relationships might come in handy; not just for grad school, but i've had several profs actually come to me with internship AND post-grad job opportunities with their friends' companies), be active and engaged on campus (join a club, do community service; if you do join a club, though, it is best to have a leadership role within it), consider asking a close prof if you can be a teaching assistant, approach your classmates confidently and be friendly to them, work hard!!! undergrad is fantastic for figuring out or getting an idea of what you want to do in the future!!! i was 16 when i started college full-time & i just picked a major (accounting) where i thought i could get a job with it LOL. nearly 5 years + one degree later, i figured out that working in industry wasn't for me & that i much prefer academia haha!!! try out a little bit of everything; i'm starting my fourth internship pretty soon, and honestly, you don't know what you don't like until you actually try it out.

i hope you have the greatest college experience of your life! when we're young, the silly stuff doesn't seem so silly (re: the prestige of the school you attend), but it's ok! because no one expects us to have perspective when we're young lol. just know that no matter where you go, make an effort to make the best of it :)

edit: some success stories!!! my undergrad aka what i considered to be a tier below community college (nothing wrong with cc either!!!); many of my classmates have went on to attend "prestigious" colleges for their own phd programs :) one of my close friends completed her undergrad in biology and is attending a private college for a phd; one of the colleges i'm looking at!!! my other friend works full-time at goldman sachs, which is proof that you don't need a columbia degree in finance to get in LOL. so, finding good opportunities is possible no matter where you end up attending <3

[sweetcatastrophex]

ive been feeling super weird lately and it’s probably partially bc i’m on my period but do you ever just feel like you’re being pulled in so many directions it might rip you apart? well i’m not gonna rip apart but i feel like so many ppl have been demanding things from me, my attention, my time, my energy, and it’s so draining. i feel like i need some quality alone time. but i’m a people pleaser i guess? i have such a hard time saying no to plans or cancelling on someone so i never do it even tho i should take time for myself. i always put ppl ahead of myself in that way. and then i keep thinking about how lance called me selfish and i can’t get it out of my head. he’s still mad at me about this fight we had two weeks ago and i think i’ll call him later. but i’m feeling so anxious and i can’t focus on work. which is making me more anxious. i stayed up til around 2 or 3 last night bc anthony came over bc he was upset about this situation he’s in with the girl he’s been seeing/the love of his life lol. he told me days ago that he needed a friend to talk to and i would usually drop everything to help a friend, but i wasn’t able to, so i had postponed it for a couple days and didn’t wanna cancel or flake again. and didn’t wanna neglect him as a friend. i wanted to help him out/be a shoulder for him to cry on or just be an ear for him to spill everything out to. i knew that having him come over would mean i wouldn’t have time to activate my new phone, work on my stories for work, or call lance (which i really need to do...), but i had him come over anyway bc he needed it. and this is something i normally wouldn’t think twice about, bc i tend to put peoples’ needs before my own pretty often, but i’m thinking about it now bc lance told me i’m selfish. and i feel guilty for not calling him yet. but i will.  i also keep thinking about the term “empath.” like a lot. i know i’m an empath. not like meaning i have supernatural powers bc obvs that’s ridiculous but i can definitely feel peoples’ emotions vividly. idk how to explain it. ever since i was little ive felt like ive understood how people felt about me. i could sense when a boy had a crush on me and i was always right about it. i would joke to myself that i had a sixth sense, but i never told anyone this out of fear of sounding crazy or narcissistic. but then years later, karen said something similar. something like she knows when a guy likes her or something and i was like yooo we both have a sixth sense. it doesn’t just apply to romantic feelings. and when someone i care about is hurting, it hurts me to the point where it’s (sometimes) physical. today jake told me he loves me bc i’m very compassionate and caring. i think i have a large capacity for empathy and it’s taken me a long time to be able to identify and articulate that. i think it’s part of why so many people are drawn to me. i read somewhere that people who need healing will gravitate towards empaths. that reminds me of my relationship with my emotionally abusive ex. it makes sense. but i also think some guys are attracted to me bc i’m sure of who i am. i’m also a pretty positive person, and i tend to smile a lot (notes ive picked up from people around me lol). i think people who are genuinely happy are naturally attractive. people are drawn to happiness and can tell when someone is feigning it.  i was thinking about this today: i have spent years cultivating my confidence. i would say “cultivating confidence” but i want to say cultivating my confidence bc i feel like its my own, it’s very personal. it’s different for everyone. i’ve spent so much time and energy working on myself, looking inside and analyzing myself, analyzing my insecurities and figuring out how to become more confident, bc i knew that everything i wanted would fall into place after that. i knew i would land any job i wanted, i would get any guy i wanted, etc. lance has told me so many times that i have a good head on my shoulders and that he admires how i’m able to do anything i set my mind to. and idc how corny it sounds, it’s true. i created this formula for myself and it’s worked. i can honestly say i’m happy with where i am in my life. i’m happy with who i am. i think big mouth is the tv show i was watching that touched on this. they said something about people who “know who they are.” i think people who are introspective and have figured themselves out have a certain glow. and they attract people who are still searching.  i think at a young age i realized that fear was stopping me from reaching my potential, and i simply wasn’t having that. i recognized my privilege and wanted to use my resources for good. i knew i had a talent for writing, rampant curiosity, a desire to help others, and a hunger for learning, so i became a journalist. but my point is, i reflected on my high school years a lot and i realized how much of it i spent being nervous. i remember feeling so nervous about such trivial things. and i didn’t want to be held back anymore. so i decided i wouldn’t be.  “So please ask yourself: What would I do if I weren’t afraid? And then go do it.” — Sheryl Sandberg  i read that probably around 2013 when i was hearing a lot about sheryl sandberg and her book “lean in.” which makes sense bc my revelation stage/major growth period was around 2012 / 2013.  another thing i’m thinking about: my poor time management skills. they’re bad, yes. i recognize that and i know i need to work on it. but a factor in that is also me tending to my friends’ needs. again, i need to learn to say no to people and put myself first. but then i feel guilty. i need to work on this.