#and idk if it's just my system i have going on or because i'm back to my roots and drawing sparkledogs and old ocs

[socialistexan]

Boy really love hearing over and over and over from cis left-of-center people in every post and video talking about how now is the time to help shield and protect trans people because we're going to get it the worst out of anyone. (I'm thinking because they're assuming since they know Trump's deportation plan is going to be hopefully tied up in the courts for a year or two before they can clear the path with their sycophants in the system, because migrants are like the top target)

I swear I've gotten well over 100 of those the past two days.

I'm already terrified. Idk if this is signaling or something, but it's that same line over and over.

Meanwhile all the trans creators I've followed, everyone I know, has gone between where I've been (terrified and full of rage) or saying "hey it sucks no one showed up for us before and said they want us to thrive or at least survive until now." and just, like, trying to build community with each other.

Idk man, I just feel the enormous target on my back. I haven't left the house since Monday. I've barely left bed aside from the like mandated hour of activity I have to have post-surgery.

Maybe I'll feel better when we're finally out of Texas and in a safe state. If there even are going to be safe states soon.

[spokelseskladden]

#it's about the intricate laws around social etiquette which basically boils down to corruption and nepotism#it's integral for rome to ever exist at all i tell you#and i knooow it's not that deep but agh. it's about contexts#<- prev that’s why it Never made sense to me why Richard was like ‘yeah we don’t care about your godly parent’ & gave jason the—#rags-to-riches praetor story#like undoubtedly jason could have & Did work for his position considering his whole…hand to hand combat with a tian in the war 🧍#but also he was 100% a nepo baby primed since a toddler for the position idk why Richard would pretend otherwise yk

Rose I can't be normal about Rome, I'm so sorry for this essay I made but I needed to get this out of my head.

It would actually be great if he just leaned into the toddler priming thing, because that's the one thing that screams Roman culture. A child from an affluent family (in this case, the son of fucking Jupiter innit) would absolutely be groomed to become Praetor, but it's the corruption and nepotism which makes the Romans so interesting!

The way their corruption and nepotism works is absolutely systemized, it's an integral part of the administration. If we go by the Roman Republics system, which I'd argue is the only one we can use for Camp Jupiter and New Rome considering it's a bit difficult to use an administrative system that only exists in the context of rapid expansion and imperialism without said rapid expansion and imperialism, Jason would still have to work hard for his position. It would be easier for him compared to someone with a lower standing, but he'd still have to play all kinds of political games to get it.

You had to climb a career ladder, and win the people over to get elected to a higher magistrate. To win people over you'd have to drain your funds (and take out some loans) to invest in the public and make yourself recognizable, and of course it would help you a lot to have ancestors who were also successful magistrates. If you did have these successful magistrates in your family tree, it wasn't unusual to use their death masks part of your election campaign, like this guy did:

It's all about honour and prestige for the Romans, and powerful ancestors is a part of that. So basically, Jason would be a shoe-in for Consul (fuck richard, why did you call them Praetors, that's a different magistrate😭)

ANYWAY, if you wanted to get to the top you'd still need to go through the cursus honorum(ladder of offices), and start as a Quaestor, then go on to Aedil, then Praetor, and finally Consul. After Augustus they'd elect 20 Quaestors every year, (I think it was 16 before that but I'm not sure, I wrote a question mark in my notes lol) and only 2 of those could end up as Consul in the end, and considering these people put themselves into insane amounts of debt to get to Consul you can imagine the competition was intense. The way you earned back your money was through conquest and war trophies, which you could do by being praetor. So basically use everything you had and didn't have as Quaestor and Aedil, and earn it all back in the last stages. Following Julius Caesars political path will give you a pretty good idea of what a very successful run through the cursus honorum would look like.

Of course this system can't be the exact same in a fantasy book series for kids, I mean it's pretty unrealistic for a 16-yearold to get through all of those steps(you had to be like 30 to even START on the cursus honorum in real rome), and this is just the abridged version of how these things worked so I understand why we can't have an exact replica of the roman republic but I'd like for there to be something more than a few titles (THAT ARE WRONG)and a vague "we're more militant and strict than the greeks" because it would be cool world building, explain New Rome a bit more, and appeal to me personally lol.

I need to not think too deeply about how camp jupiter/new rome could function at all based on the roman republic/roman empire because by all accounts. It shouldn't function at all

[triglycercule]

mtt therapy moment except dust keeps taking breaks to talk to phantom papyrus and horror just wants this to hurry up so it can get to his turn because he couldn't give two shits about dust and killer's trauma and killer physically cannot discuss his issues and just starts zoning out while crying for some reason during it

and i'm the therapist listening to all of this writing down notes fervently because ITS CANON MATERIAL CANON I NEED TO GET THE CANON MATERIAL

[dawnthefluffyduck]

New game interest unlocked

(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst

[dsntwrk]

help me i've gotten so deep into the steddie rabbit hole i haven't gotten this stuck on something since destiel

this really isn't good for my health

THESE ARE THE FICS THAT I SUBSCRIBED TO / LIKED READING (I'VE BASICALLY READ 1/5 WORTH OF STEDDIE FICS COMPARED TO DESTIEL FICS - I GOT INTO DESTIEL 4 YRS AGO, I ONLY STARTED READING STEDDIE FICS SOME TIME LAST MONTH WTF)

tbf, i have taken breaks from destiel to read other fandoms/fics so, ig the timing works out? if you think about it?

[dbphantom]

Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST

[coquelicoq]

just got a biopsy to see if my [checks notes] 15-week period is because of cancer. however then my friends drove me to get chocolate and the new martha wells novel so, you know, there are pros and cons here.

[knightdykes]

woke up and started crying about school almost immediately and my whole day is gonna be fucked up

[leatherbookmark]

oh god okay i understand that maybe not everyone is as indecisive/comfortable with saying "it depends!" as me, but like, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but i just can't take people who call izzy a villain seriously

[our-inspire-verse]

How the fuck am i supposed to recieve comfort or tell myself im not a horrible fucking EVERYTHING when literally i do nothing but cause harm. How the fuck is a perpetrator of harm supposed to be consoled? Im that fucking horrible huh

[neverendingford]

.

[hell0mega]

i start class tomorrow. weeeee

[knifegremliin]

with that attack done, i have officially done more attacks this year than i did last year, despite having shitty wrists!!!

[lovelaceisntdead]

Should I book an open day for this course because I can't stop thinking about it.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Heylo my maggotsies... I'm sorry to do this but I have a thing that I really, really need to do (thank you Ash for helping me realise that) but I'm terrified to. so well. I'm going to make one of the posts (Neil reblogged me a couple of days ago so I feel pretty safe making one now since he only lurks by once in two weeks so this is as good a time as it gets to make a post and not expect many notes, yes I'm an overthinker and I'm actually scared of this getting notes).

Sigh. Here goes.

...I'm scared of even typing it.

Nope okay I can do this let's go.

If this post gets 1k notes, I'll look up jobs in design and film making that don't need a college degree.

2k notes, I'll sign up for an Alliance Francaise course so I can have another language on my CV, and I'll find a course that teaches me how to use design software.

5k, I'll look up distance learning alternatives, because just talking about physical college yesterday made me spend the whole morning and afternoon today in and out of nightmares screaming. Fuck.

10k, I'll tell my mum that I can't do the offline college. She's been talking to me about it, but I've been dodging because I'm not well-off and I really need to be earning and idk how to do that without college and I feel so guilty.

15k, I'll officially back out from the college (does that count as dropping out, if it hasn't begun? maybe half. i am a college and a half dropout, my 11th grade self would hate me and my 10th grade self would refuse to believe it).

I don't know what I'll do then. I don't know how to live as trans here in India, I don't know how to earn enough to be able to help my family, I don't know what I'm good at and I'm so fucking terrified. But. I spoke to @random-doctor-on-the-internet last night (I love you Ash you're such a fucking amazing human) and they made me realise that well maybe landing in a hospital with steroids to relieve an allergy attack because of exam stress isn't normal and so.

Well. Here I am. I know I can't do it, but I'm scared to risk everything, it's just not something people do here, dropping out. But also (TW s**cide statistics mentioned below the cut)... And so I've just. Got to do it, got to save myself and say no to college (cue say no to school, kids joke). Somehow be brave enough. And yeah.

To quote a financial express article: "In an alarming situation, a total of 7,62,648 suicides were reported in India between 2018 to 2022, Of this student suicides account for 7.6% at 59,239". Maybe if more people did say fuck you to the system here, that wouldn't be the case. That number could have been 59,240 (aside from everyone who wasn't counted and hushed up), that could have been me, and I don't want to put myself in that situation again. You know? Yeah.