#and idk how lighting works outside of the tutorial i did so im gonna be messing around with that for who knows how long

[gifti3]

[nastybuckybarnes]

Out of the Shadows

Pairing: Peter x Reader, Platonic!Loki x Reader

Summary: After finding out that you feel like a complete outcast, the team tries hard, too hard, to include you. And when a mission comes up, well, their efforts lead to disaster.

Warnings: Language, Fluff, Angst, Injuries, Violence, Fluff

Word Count: 1.6K

A/n: Um, hi. Idk what Im doing anymore. It seems like everything I write just ends up flopping so idk what to do.

PART ONE MASTERLIST

“Can I help you with anything? Do you need anything? A-are you comfortable?” You groan and put your face in your hands.

“Listen, Holly, I get it that you're trying to... make up for whatever Loki put in your head, but please stop hovering. I need some space so I can work and focus on what I’m doing. We have a mission coming up and I want to be as prepared as possible, okay?”

Your sister nods and looks away, “I just... I never knew you felt... so excluded. I never intended to make you feel like that.” You look up from the file in your hands and smile lightly. “I know. And I’m fine. I promise.” She sighs, knowing you’re lying, but drops it.

“I’m gonna go train with Nat. Feel free to join if you want.” Right as she leaves, someone else walks in.

“Hey (Y/n).” You smile at the voice, warmth filling you. “Hi, Peter. I’ve missed you.” He walks to your bed and leans down, hugging you tightly.

“I’ve missed you too. Are you ready for the mission tomorrow? Stocking up on carbs tonight? Its kinda like going to a basketball game o-or track-and-field. You’ve gotta have energy for tomorrow. Especially if you’re gonna be throwing things with your mind and-” you silence his jabbering with a gentle kiss.

He sits down beside you, his hands hesitantly wrapping around your body to pull you closer to him.

You push him down onto his back, the file for the mission long forgotten, and straddle his waist. He grabs your hips and squeezes tightly. Through his actions, you can almost feel the anxiety he feels about you going on this mission.

You pull your lips from his and pant softly, holding his cheeks and pressing your forehead to his. “I’ll be safe, Peter. I promise.” He kisses your lips again then sighs, “I know, but I’ll still worry about you. You... I... I think that you’ve made my life so much better. And I really don’t wanna lose you.” You smile and open your eyes, looking up into his deep beautiful brown orbs.

“You mean the world to me, Peter. Without you... I’m not sure what I’d do. I’m so glad that I have you.” He kisses your lips a third time then leans his head down on the pillow.

You lie down on his body, legs tangled with his and head on his chest. He traces light patterns on your back and you exhale deeply, relaxing into your boyfriend.

~*~

“Shit! Nat! Help!” Your sister’s voice calls through the comms.

Your blood runs cold at her cry of pain and for a moment you see red. Moving with speed and determination that you didn't know you possessed, you tear through the HYDRA agents on the outside of the building, quickly getting inside the base and running to the room where your sister and Nat are supposed to be gathering intel.

Holly’s on the ground, a HYDRA agent holding her throat.

You muster up your powers and launch the man off of her, running to her side and helping her to stand. “Okay ladies, I’ve got the hard drive. Let’s get the Hell out of here before someone gets seriously hurt.”

You and Holly follow after Nat towards the door, each of you with a weapon raised.

A small round ball-like thing rolls into the room and you gasp, eyebrows raising to your hairline.

“Get back!” You yell, twisting your arms in a circle and creating a shield just as the grenade explodes.

You get thrown across the room and hit the wall hard enough for all of the other people in the room to hear the cracks of your bones.

“(Y/n)!” Holly cries, running towards you while Nat takes care of the HYDRA agents.

“What happened?” Steve’s voice asks in her ear.

“We need an evac. Now,” Nat’s voice says. Holly grabs your cheeks and sniffles, pleading softly for you to open your eyes. Her fingers find your neck and she feels for a pulse, a sob bursting out of her as she feels nothing.

“Nat! There’s no pulse! W-what do I do?!” The redhead appears next to your sister and takes a deep breath. “I need all the help I can get, guys. Starting compressions.” Nat starts pumping her hands on your chest, trying to get your heart beating again.

Holly sits beside you, one of your hands cradled in both of hers.

“Please (Y/n). I’m so sorry for not being there. I’m so so sorry. Please wake up. Please. Please wake up.”

It takes hardly a minute for Tony to meet them in the room, tears in his eyes as he sees your lifeless form on the ground, Natasha still doing compressions. “Get her to the Quinjet. Get FRIDAY to do something to save her!” Holly almost yells.

“I can give her a shock, Boss. 200 joules should do it.” Tony looks at his hands then nods.

“Charge ‘em up FRIDAY.”

He kneels in front of your body and, after FRIDAY giving him a quick tutorial, presses his makeshift defibrillators to your chest. Your body jolts with the contact and Holly sobs.

“Read vitals,” Tony whispers.

FRIDAY takes a moment but eventually responds.

“Heartbeat detected.”

He lets out a sigh of relief then carefully scoops your body up in his arms, flying you to the Quinjet. As you lie helpless and vulnerable in his arms, he realizes just how important you are to him and everyone else on the team.

~*~

You wake up to a soft voice whispering near your ear.

It takes you a few minutes, but you eventually manage to figure out how to work your body again.

“...and I swear I’ll never let you go. You died out there and I thought I was going to die when they told me. I can't live without you cause you mean too much to me. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe cause I love you. They don’t really want me in here, I should be training, but there’s no way I’m leaving you until you wake up. So please (Y/n), open those pretty eyes for me. Please wake up. Please.”

It takes a lot more energy than you expected, but you manage to pull your eyelids back a tiny bit, squinting against the harsh lights in the room.

“Peter?” Your voice is scratchy and hoarse and sounds absolutely awful.

“Oh my God, (Y/n)! You’re awake! I-I need to get the doctor! Or mister Stark.” He jumps up, freezing in his tracks as you squeeze his hand. “Don't leave me, Peter. Please don’t leave me.” He hesitates for a moment then sits back down. “I really oughta tell someone that you’re awake. You might need painkillers or something.” Your eyes water and he’s quick to kiss away the tears. “But I won’t leave you, (Y/n). I promise I won’t.” You nod, wincing as your head throbs.

“FRIDAY? Can you please call Mister Stark and the Doctor? (Y/n)’s awake now,” Peter says. The AI agrees and in a few minutes, multiple people come barreling into your room.

“(Y/n). I’m glad to see that you’re awake and talking. You had us worried for a little while there,” The doctor says with a kind smile. You look up at her then over at your sister. “Did... did I actually die?” Tony and the Doctor sigh while your sister makes a noise of pain.

“Your heart stopped beating, yes. And if Mister Stark and Miss Romanoff hadn’t acted as fast as they did, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

You ponder this for a moment then look up at each person in the room.

“You... why?” Tony sits at the foot of your bed, Your sister and Natasha right behind him. “(Y/n), you sacrificed your life for the team. You gave your life for these two morons here. We... we might not be the best at showing it, but you mean an awful lot to us. We’d... we’d be lost without you. Your little snarky remarks whenever Cap says something you don’t like... the way you can always comfort anyone, no matter what. You’re loved and you’re needed. Don’t even get me started on how much the Spiderkid needs you. When he found out you were hurt he almost went crazy. He hasn’t left your side the whole week. Took a lot of convincing and Capsicle physically removing him from the room to get him to take a shower.”

“We love you, (Y/n). And I’m so so sorry that we ever made you feel like we don’t,” Nat says with a small smile. You nod, looking down for a moment. “I’m sure you’re feeling overwhelmed right now. We’ll give you some time. If you need anything at all, let us know, alright?” You nod at Tony and watch as him and Nat walk out.

“(Y/n)... you’ve been saving my life since we were kids. Thank you. I... I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you, but I’ll spend the rest of my damn life trying. I’ll be annoying and overbearing, as long as you know how much I love and appreciate you,” Holly whispers, gently patting your leg before getting up and leaving the room.

A dark-haired man enters the room after a moment, a small smile on his lips. “I’m glad to see that you’re alive and well, (Y/n). They haven’t stopped worrying about you ever since you were brought here. I don’t think you’re quite as forgotten as you’d like to think.” A few tears slide down your cheeks and you sniffle.

“Thank you, Loki. For always being there for me when I felt so alone. Thank you.” He dips his head in a mock bow then leaves the room, letting you sit in silence.

“I hope you know that no matter what you feel, I’ll always be here for you,” Peter says softly from beside you, his eyes cast down to where your hands are joined.

“Of course I do, Peter. I love you with my entire heart and I know you love me. I know that we’ll always have each other.”

He kisses your cheek gently then sighs.

“Always.”

~*~ crappy ending I know. Sorry.

TAGS:

PERMANENT TAGS: @smolbeanbucky  @wildefire  @inumorph  @impalatobakerstreet  @nanna022  @mummy-woves-you  @m-a-t-91  @wtfholland  @bookgirlunicorn  @beautifulwisdom2001 @deep-sea-glitter  @mrhiddles-81  @iamwarrenspeace  @bitchacho25  @escapetheshackles  @i-know-i-can @buckyssoul  @avnngrs

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STUCK IN THE SHADOWS: @animegirlgeeky  @drakesfiance  @disneychic8 

LOKI:

@arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77

[thedappleddragon]

ok time for 2 days worth of journaling

yesterday I discovered that if I take half of a mini bagel (because the store was out of bagel things), put on cream cheese and a slice of salami, you can make a pretty good bagel bite. I talked with my dad for a while about college things when he came home from work and brought groceries. I also made a frozen chicken Laredo pasta thing for dinner and ended up sharing it with my mom. dad and I shared ideas for what to add to it next time to make it better. I started with chopping up spinach, because I know it shrinks a bunch and is easy to hide in stuff. I want to try adding a little salt, maybe some garlic and onion, parmesan cheese, more greens, a bunch of stuff. idk. I like pretending to be a chef. but I talked with my ad about what kind of stuff I'll need for college, and how I'll probably need to buy real clothes and makeup so I dont look like a goblin who’s been existing solely in basketball shorts and pajama pants for the past year in quarantine.that;s why I made that post last night about fun girly sleepover or simple-ass makeup tutorial. I tried washing my face with an Olay soap bar, and it left my skin feeling nice but idk how good/bad it actually is for your face since its meant to be a body bar. I real online that a plain dove bar is actually pretty damn good for your face, but Olay was the only thing I had on hand. whatever. i played a bunch of stardew valley as well

I slept like shit last night, waking up at like 4 am and all mr dreams being shades of muted grey and brown and broken up into blocks, idk. I've been having weird abstract dreams and sleeping like shit for the past couple days. I think that's partially what cause my head to spin all afternoon. whenever I moved my head, it felt like my ghost was lagging behind my body if that makes sense. it sucked but got better when I moved around. I had my dad bring me water and Tylenol and then come back a second time to light my candle because he smelled like cigarettes and left the smell in my room. but I realized it was April fools day when I woke up, and contemplated how I was gonna prank my friends. I didnt come up with anything until my sister sent a picture of a crashed white Volvo, saying she failed her driving test. when my mom showed me I didnt believe her for a second, and folded over laughing when my mom was concerned about if it was real or not. I stole that joke and showed it to my 2 friend groups, with panicked misspelled texts to go with it for *authenticity* lmao. both groups fell for it at first, but band friends taking longer to catch on so I had to tell them it was a prank. my gamer friend in the other chat caught me almost IMMEDIATLY with reverse google image searching. but I laughed my ass off for a while either way. I didnt play any stardew today but I did play a little Webkinz. when my sister came back from her driving test, my dad brought home Dairy Queen blizzards and mentioned getting a nice-is dinner takeout :) unfortunately I waited forever for him to bring home food and it never happened. so my sister and I went through the mcdonalds drive through and got served by this absolutely DELIGHTFUL middle aged man who was very nice and funny and I told him she just got her license today. we went home and ate in my sisters room and watched John mulaney’s new in town. I had never actually watched the full special, but through Tumblr memes and a million animatics, I had pretty much seen everything. I had fun tho. we got regular chicken sandwiches when we porobably should have gotten the deluxe ones with lettuce and tomato and source or just gone to Wendy’s. tbh Wendy’s is SO MUCH FUCNKIN BETTER. and the mcdonalds was more expensive than I thought it would be. whatever. if we had gone to Wendy’s, sure we would have gotten better burgers, but we wouldn't have seen that deightful man. anyway earlier today I gave my cat some catnip and she was really cute about it. do cats drool more when they’re high? cuz damn it sure felt like it when she was mashing her face into my hand.  for lunch I made a different pasta thing, this time shrimp lomeign. I added spinach and broccoli, which I'm going to do for now and forever because it SLAPPED but my mom was acting like a child, saying broccoli is gross. she had me make spaghetti and proceeded to eat 3 or 4 bowls. I had a couple and went to my room. I realize that I'm typing all this shit WAYYYYY out of order, sorry to me reading back in the future or anyone who bothers to read these. tbh why would you. I hope people dont have my talk tag blocked (thanks for coming to my ted talk) and instead have 2021 daily blocked if they dont want to see these. I still make funny posts sometimes!! that’s also what I tag my art with!! but neither of those people would be able to read this anyway so I'm just preaching to the choir. anyway you’ll be happy to know that my head is no longer spinning, my teeth are nice and clean, I've got my comfy socks and pajama pants on, and I’m ready for bed. eventually. it’s not even midnight yet lmao. I guess I can mention this morning when my cat yelled at me asking to go outside, but it was literally FREEZING and im 100% sure I saw some snowflakes while I was out there for a couple minutes. she got so cold she climbed up on my lap as I was wrapped in my childhood sleeping bag I found in the laundry room. I breathed warm air on her and sat out there for another minute or so, mostly insulated by the sleeping bag, but carried her inside eventually. I didnt want to have to deal with that shit. tbh even tho I just had mcdonalds and it’s almost midnight and I've already brushed my teeth, I'm still a little bit hungry. but I dont know it’s that’s just because I'm lying down and your body takes a little while to tell you when you’re full, or if it’s because I waited for SO LONG waiting for city barbecue or bento cafe that just a burger and fries wasn't enough to cut it. well I'll just sleep it off anyway. you know what’s really cute? my cat laid on my lap and rested her chin on my hand as I typed :) I love her