#and id skip breakfast and lunch. come home ravenous because i was a teenager who hadn't eaten all day
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Ya know, the more time I've had to reflect on things, the more fucked everything seems in retrospect.
#jen talks#ive been through a lot in my life#and i always had some sort of suspension something was up and just never questioned it#but like i grew up in an abusive household. with a narcissistic father and an absent mother#and we weren't ever taught anything. only showed once and expected to be an expert#the bar was high and the threshold for falure was low#i struggled through school and no one ever stopped to ask “huh. i wonder if theres something wrong here”#nope i was just lazy. “you just dont want to do it!” or “how could someone be so stupid?!”#i didnt learn how to pack a lunch. so when i stopped getting my lunch packed i frequently forgot to do it#and id skip breakfast and lunch. come home ravenous because i was a teenager who hadn't eaten all day#and then id get screamed at for eating my fathers “meal prep” that he told no one about#there were so many times he screamed at us for shit (my sister too) and my mother just sat and watched#she never did anything. she just let him abuse us#the shittiest part is she was getting better. but since my father moved back in shes taken a nose dive#my life is a frustrating mess. for sure. but i dont think id trade it even still#got a lot of good people around me. and it finally seems like the light at the end of the tunnel is starting to get closer
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