#and i've been thinking about how intelligently designed the human body is.

[wellthatsclever]

...

[rielzero]

Look at this handsome man, he's also on artfight: https://artfight.net/character/4027934.nymrod

And with this, I've reworked Nymrod's backstory!

Nymrod thinks he's a tiefling that was once a half elf, but his story is a little more complicated than that.

Before Nymrod, he was Ardere, the draconic sorcerer. He is a dragon hybrid, the child of a red and silver dragon, with an egg-twin brother named Ishard. He and Ishard took the forms of Half elves while his father presented as a high elf and his mother as a mortal human. They lived far away from other dragons in order to live unbothered, appearing as a rich and noble family of wizards and sorcerers. Ardere's sorcerery was highly unstable and powerful, just like his nature, like two dragons clashing inside of him, unfortunately this lead to an accident that resulted in the death of his twin brother. Not being able to cope with the loss, his personality distorted and took on traits of Ishard, while completely becoming uncomfortable and fearful of his own magic prowess. Taking advantage of his mental state, his parents sealed his awareness of his own nature away in hopes of protecting Ardere from himself.

He lives as a half elf for about 40 years, completely clueless of his losses and takes on the desires of his dead brother to become a fashion designer rather than a powerful sorcerer.  He particularly grew to dislike his innate magic as he had gained the tendency to freeze things when he got nervous. As a result of his unstable powers and clumsiness, no one would take him as an apprentice so he had to teach himself how to sew. Struggling with what to do with his misfortunes, he briefly joined a band of friends on a few adventures. During a tour to Elturel, he got really drunk and passed out.. Only to awaken when Elturel was pulled into avernus. The sudden shift of planes made him subconsciously shapeshift into a Dainty, soft looking Tiefling, unrecognisable to himself and his friends. They swiftly abandoned him in order to flee. Left with little else to hold onto, Nymrod is who he became. Acting docile, foolish and helpless, his appearance and behaviour gave him his name, a combination of ''Nymph'' and ''Nimrod'' Passed around several devils as a pretty pet to look at. Hiding his intelligence and using his charm to remain unharmed. He sold his name ''Ardere'' to a fairy in exchange for a luck blessing, which further distanced his memories off his family and made all those who knew him before forget about him. When Nymrod was about to be sold to one particularly cruel Devil in exchange of dozens of soul coins, Raphael ended up coming to his rescue. The Cambion recognised what Nymrod is even if he doesn't, becoming the only safe space were Nym could form a new identity. Nym is very indifferent about the conflict surrounding Avernus as he had to prioritise his own survival. Due being abandoned by his only friends in his time of need, he stopped caring for those who do not value him. Since then he has gotten used to his body, still feeling somewhat strange about it. His sense of self is greatly warped due everything he has been through.

Just some clarifications just in caseeee- Because I am a nervous wreck.

-When I mention ''personality warping'' I'm more talking in the reigns of how untreated mental health problems sometimes changes someone's entire identity, people's personalities can shift over time, ''warp'' is when he becomes somewhat opposite to how he used to be. He used to be proud, flaunting, and very much in love with his magic, now he is insecure, uncertain about himself and averse to casting magic. He's not entirely stable. -When he takes on traits of his brother, this is a subconscious coping mechanism, feeling the need to keep his brother alive somehow. This doesn't mean he ''splits'' or creates an alter, Nymrod is Ardere, with Nymrod being his mask. He does not have Dissociative Identity Disorder. The amnesia is a result of sealing, cptsd / selling his name to a fairy. He is somewhat aware of his brother's absence but convinced himself there never was a brother by taking on his traits. He does not experience plurality, just dissociation. -When you have friends, or people you love, or heck, even despise, sometimes you unconsciously take on little traits from them. He'd likely take on traits from Raphael as well. -Not thoroughly mentioned or stated, but Nymrod is kind of an alcoholic (Even before he became Nymrod.) As a dragon (even if unaware that he is one) he can hold liquor pretty well so it takes a lot of effort to become drunk or to stay drunk for an extended time, as his blood burns it out pretty fast. -Struggling with your sense of self is a pretty common experience, trying to find your own identity when your brain is messed up is difficult.

[duz-machines-87]

Kid Chompy and an OC Raphmona child (named Yoyo) because I am cringe and they are cute.

Ramblings about cryptozoology/biology/explaining myself if you keep reading.

I've got this headcanon that Chompy's basically Raph's kid, and I can't hold myself back from making fan children for ships.

Or hybrid species..

Or fan children who are hybrid species...

First, I wanna talk about Chompy.

Tokka and Chompy frankly look nothing alike, which makes me think that Compy isn't entirely a Volcanthian fire turtle. Their differences are obvious, but I don't think that they can be summed up as just him being a juvenile while Tokka is an adult. Since a lot of the differences have to do with body plan, such as:

Different numbers of fingers and toes. Chompy has 3, Tokka has 4

Tokka's eyes glow, Chompy's don't

Their is no difference between the coloration of Tokka's shell and body, while there is for Chompy

Tokka seems to be mostly comprised of a rock like substance, while Chompy seems to only have rock like spikes

Chompy has a tail, Tokka does not

Tokka has exposed magma all over her body, Chompy doesn't

In addition to this, Tokka's intelligent enough to deem Raph a good guardian for Chompy, and for some reason there is no pressure to take him back. If Chompy was going to turn into a massive plasma breathing kaiju like his mama, being on Earth would be more detrimental to his health/development than taking him with her. So there must have been a reason Raph was allowed to keep him. Which makes me think that it would be more dangerous for Chompy to have stayed with Tokka, despite the dangers faced by the turtles.

For these reasons, I don't think that Chompy is a Volcanthian fire turtle, not fully. I think it's likely that he's some kind of hybrid creature, not a Volcanthian fire turtle at all and just another thing entrusted to Tokka's care, or Volcanthian fire turtles have a crazy amount of variability and he's just entirely different for no reason.

Though I personally like the first option best.

I know i'm not the only one to come to this conclusion, but I haven't seen anyone else talk about these points

and i also really like thinking about alien biology

So onto the OC kid.

Since Salamandrians are amphibians, they should have a multi stage life cycle where they start as fish-like larvae and then undergo metamorphosis to become their adult forms. Going off of this idea, I gave the kid external gills and fins, as well as a juvenile pattern that he'll grow out of.

This also plays into how I imagine Salamanria's ecosystem to look like to create massive bipedal amphibians. I headcanon that it's swamp-like, with shallow water covering most of the planet, which makes it imperative that baby Salamandrians are able to breath even when submerged in water. I've seen some people also headcanon that the foliage there is blue, and I like that idea since it justifies how many Salamandrians are seen with blue patterning/coloration. Most Salamandrian children would be blueish in color for this reason, even if they eventually grow out of that color. The stripes are also for camouflage, since most swamps have grasses/reeds, this would make it more difficult for babies to be spotted which is a concern since creatures like amphibians have offspring that are more individually capable than human babies.

Human babies are generally rather underdeveloped when compared to other animal infants. This is a whole other thing I could get into but I'll spare you lol. Most other babies are more like toddlers than infants, even as newborns. I applied this logic to Salamandrian babies as well. Since they act more like toddlers they are more likely to wonder off, and end up is the sights of a predator, or a rival group of Salamandrians. Hence the need for camouflage.

Specifically for this fan kid, there are many ways that I could combine Salamandrian and mutant turtle traits, and I've seen a lot in other fan kids. I wanted to reference both of their designs, and other versions of TMNT.

I gave him both a full carapace and plastron, but didn't attach them, which makes him look in line with the 03 turtles. He's got 3 fingers but 4 toes, since Salamandrians have one more toe than finger for some odd reason. He's also got webbing between his two fingers.

Finally here's his name: Yoshi Web Hamato. He also goes by Webber or Yoyo. I've got three reasons for picking this name.

First I saw someone mention once that all the turtles have given a Salamandrian a name except for Leo. So I thought he should contribute to the name, in a meta sense. I don't think he'd like take over naming his brother's kid, but I imagine that he suggested the name "Yoshi" after their father and they went with it.

Second I made a naming scheme for Salamandrians. We never see any related Salamandrians, and only have 4 Salamandrian names to work with but I don't care. I basically headcanon that the first sound of their name which is differentiated by the apostrophe is inherited from one of the parents. So in this case, Web's Salamandrian name is Y'Oshi, getting the "Y" from his mother. Which is why Mona Lisa liked the name Yoshi.

Third the artist naming scheme is very important and I didn't wanna abandon it when naming my fan kid. Though the question of which artist plagued me for a bit. Then my sister suggested I name him after someone from the Harlem Renaissance, which combines NYC and the renaissance, so I named him after W.E.B Du Bois. While Du Bois wasn't a visual artist, he was a writer and scholar, so I thought it fit. I also have a personality for him already lined up, and being named after a scholar fits.

This is all related to a TMNT 12 future AU I have as well.

That is all, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[possiblylando]

Chainsaw Man Chapter 131 'Early' Analysis.

Bit later than usual with this one cause- I didn't feel like writing it earlier- Feels like a cheep excuse but whatever.

It's really interesting seeing the contrast between the two confirmed Primordials. Darkness doesn't speak a language we can understand but it still speaks. It seemed like a hyper intelligent beast which acted on a type of intelligent impulse almost like majin buu. Who I could make an entire post talking about the intelligence and mentality of because of how people misunderstand him. But I'll not do that for now since this is about Chainsaw Man. However Falling completely juxtaposes Darkness because she's basically it's polar opposite. Not fear wise but personality and the way she conducts herself. This panel is the one that really cemented it in my mind because this is her showing the ability to reason. It's weird- She's weird right? She's brutal but not cruel. She's willing to let her previous rule slide because the situation has changed. She doesn't immediately kill the devil (WHO'S NAME WE NEVER LEARN GOD DAMN IT FUJIMOTO) because it didn't finish it's meal. Also their designs which I feel I've pointed out before but I don't wanna look back for if I did or if it was in a specific post.

They're completely different but they share motifs between eachother. I'll go through some of those cause I didn't actually put them together until I was writing this so I feel it's an observation that you guys also might want to hear. 1. They both have several extra arms. 2. They both have dismembered heads as apart of their body. 3. Their arms are double jointed. (Shown Below)

I feel these are going to be reoccurring themes throughout most (maybe even all) of the primordial devils we see. Additionally this isn't a full on pattern but it seems like a Primordial appears roughly every 60 chapters. Darkness first appeared in 65, Falling first appeared in 122 (Full appearance in 123). Back to the chapter itself.

I find it interesting that Falling begins to bleed more profusely when she gets upset. Based on what I've previously said and what we saw at the end of the chapter it's possible her degree over this overworld vessel lessens and thus it's bleeding begins to worsen when she grows upset. Like it requires a degree of concentration to keep together. Which I think is interesting but will likely not be the key to winning any singular fight. Falling nukes the UNNAMED DEVIL and we get the weirdest scene in awhile.

This scene answers 1 question. Yet it raises several more. So let's lightning round it. 1. Why did falling take orders from Famine? 2. Why did her vessel turn into a weird shrunken doll? 3. Uh- Actually no thats- Thats it. Huh. So less questions than I thought and more like just one question. Huh. well key things. I think this is what Falling's truest hell form (Like Darkness) looks like.

It would fit more with the primordial sort of warped appearance we've seen before. It's also the form she appeared in 122 and the beginning of 123 as. So I feel pretty confident in that assumption.

The silly girl is back.

Fucking smugass dickhead smirk she's so fucking good

So this is- Weird right? Nayuta definitely has the ability to identify other Horsemen since she was able to sniff out Famine instantly. So she must know about Asa and Yoru in some vague sense. I guess having that confirmation also sorta shifts that end of chapter reveal. Yeah remember "Thief." it probably wasn't just about Denji having a girlfriend but Nayuta not wanting another Horseman to steal Denji from her. Also it's interesting that aside from War (Maybe), All the horsemen we've seen up until this point have been somewhat benevolent. Ah- Maybe not- Okay lemme rephrase. They've been on the side of humanity. Makima despite being- Makima, She was still trying to aid humanity in her own twisted way. Now Famine is trying to save humanity from the apocalypse in her own twisted way. It's possible that Yoru wants nuclear weapons so she can save humanity from destruction- In her own twisted way. And lemme also make this prediction now. The final horseman will also be trying to save humanity in their own twisted way. (I'm still not making a claim on what the final horseman could be I've elaborated on it in the past if you're a true fan of these you'll know the basic gist Tl;Dr there have been several 4th horsemen in history depending on the source).

This was pretty funny honestly. Nayuta's arm is drawn sorta weird which is abit distracting cause it's the only thing I can stare at now that I've seen it. It doesn't really detract and it's a weekly manga so I can't really complain that much either. Also that girl in the back the one with white hair reminds me of Snake Girl from part 1.

No shot they're actually related in anyway tho- This chapter actually only has low quality faces in the final school drawing so no need to compile them this week. So instead Nayuta silly compilation.

She really is just Power if she wasn't Racist. Okay- Listen- We don't have confirmation that Nayuta isn't racist. But she would have to pick that up herself since I doubt Denji would teach her to be racist because Denji isn't racist.

[omeletcat]

LRIGH so i've been thinking a lot, and i'm gonna set out my options for what i am gonna do about the murder in my game. in the gameplay the player has to defeat monsters, just animals from the spirit world with magic energy that makes them funky, some use magic others are just big strong monsters, and if they are intelligent enaugh they are humanoid spirits and get the ability to talk. when the player fights a humanoid (either human or spirit or above) they will get the choice (or not) not to kill them. so the player isn't a fucking murderer

BUT that can't be done for every random enemy!! murder.. is stil murder and i feel weird when in the lore death is such an important theme and it would be rly fucking weird for the main characters to just kill some animals, so here are a few of the idea's i had to make it not murder and some that were told to me by others!

1 they don't have a soul in kingdom hearts the souls of the enemies go back to their body's and heal or smth? meaning the enemies aren't living normal creature but i can't rly do that when they are just animals, and i made it so that anything that is alive has a soul, and it would be a dick move to kill them

2 make them rly fucking angry if i make them just evil or angry the murder would be justified? maybe? in the story shards of the player's soul gets spread across the world, i could make it so that it turns them evil or smth? but that feels like a cheap move.

3 "they're in a better place now" in the world of the game, the afterlife is a known place, noone knows wtf happens but when a living thing dies their soul rises up and goes to another plane of existence called the afterlife, and it is theorized that the magic of their soul is then spread across the universe to be reuse in an endless loop, reabsorbed by nature and slowly reincarnated into a new living creature as the magic gets absorbed into a developing soul. BUTTTT that stil means the player kills them, imagine if my best friend dies in a car accident and someone tells me it is okay actually caus they are in heaven now, like WTFF NOO?? they stil died.

those are my main idea's rnn... i don't know how i can make this work out besides maybe just ignoring it? and just saying "hu? murder? ha what murder hahahahaha here cute character design!" and distract people. but that feels cheap, but on the other hand.. cheap is cheap and cheap is good? idk what do y'all think?

OH ALSO in some levels the enemy's won't be monsters/spirit animals, sometimes its random people that are mind controlled or something or robots, robots i can just kill, they're robots fuck them. with people i can make it so that if they drop to 1 hp they have a "fuck no" animation and run away which would be funny and also make it so the player doesn't hurt anyone. so this is mainly for the other levels who don't have that.

[hivefleet-hellbender]

Pink Horrors of Tzeentch, bound to copper masks

I've been building and painting the start of my Tyranids Hive Fleet for the past three months, and towards the end of November I realized I needed a break. Plus, I'd be traveling to an artist residency program in rural Colombia and I knew I'd want something else to do while I was there. So I decided to build a squad of pink horrors but with an eerie and minimalist twist.

Now if you've seen Games Workshop's Pink Horror models, you'd know they're pretty much dogshit. Their faces are more orkish than daemonic, they have these strange long proportions that don't have much weight to them, and despite their ever-shifting chaotic nature, they look like just a stack of little dudes they look like a stack of little dudes with more arms than usual. They’d fit better in an old Betty Boop cartoon than on the battlefield of the 41st millennium. My goal for this project was the present an aesthetic for Tzeentch that fits with my own taste in monstrosity — blank-eyed every-shifting mounds of flesh that hover on the boundary between symbolism and raw horror. 

My journal quickly filled up with drawings of weird masked monsters in the margins. My inspiration came from cubism, along with movies like Mirrormask and Ruban Brandt: Collector. I also was heavily inspired by the copper face on the Abominable Intelligence by John at Ex Profundis. I got really into the idea of the masks as some sort of binding vessel for the Tzeentchian cultists, who could use the daemons as attack dogs by trapping them within copper plates. I wasn't sure if I wanted the models to be 40K or Age of Sigmar, so I tried to keep the designs agnostic and avoid any technology or mechanical bits. 

I knew I wanted to use the pink horror model as a base, but that the number and consistent size of arms would be insufficient for my needs. To make sure my little guys had all the arms they needed, I picked up a box of Mantic Games Zombie Horde. This box comes with forty zombies, and most of the arms are perfect and usable, meaning I’ve got about 72 human-sized arms to accompany the much larger horror arms of my gribblies. Towards the end I also picked up a box of blue horrors, so that I can expand my Tzeentch army once I’m done with my infinite ‘Nids.

I made the mask from a couple different pieces of plastic. At first I used these clear disks I had, but they gave the models a “bobble-head” look which… I didn’t hate, but did obscure the size of the horror and make it look a bit too tiny. For later masks, I took the base of the zombie, tidied it up, and carved a face into it. I intentionally kept the faces very minimalist, focusing on just the bare necessities: two eye-holes, a little slit mouth, and a single haphazard nose. 

I focused on a very improvisational building approach — using a base of either green stuff blob or a pink horror body, which I then superglued the mask onto and then applied as many arms and legs as I could reasonably manage. Often I would trim an arm straight off the spruce and barely clean it before attaching it on, meaning there's a few moldlines or sprue bits that I can't help but stare at. I think if I was to repeat this process I'd trim all the parts and set them aside before I even started working, but I also had no clue how this would go and was just enjoying the process as a way to decompress after a wildly hectic week.

Once the models were all done, I spraypainted them all white and tossed them in a box with me to Colombia, where they got damaged during transit and had to piece a couple back together with superglue.

I painted the bodies with two layers of Volupus Pink contrast paint, followed by a drybrush of 1 part Red to 3 parts White.

I painted the masks with Gunmetal followed by a wash of 1 part Orange to 1 part Mid Brown wash. Then I did a Dark wash with some streaking, followed by a Verdigris effect paint to get that gunky green rust effect at the edges of the copper.

I painted the jewelry and various instruments / standards gold, and did the gems in red with a pink highlight. I did the nails and teeth in white, the tongues in a very light pink mix, and the feathers a light green mix followed by a dark wash. I hope to return to the feathers later to give them more detail if I ever end up doing a Lord of Change, as in my head I imagine those feathers are small gifts from it to its most loyal minions. The fire is yellow, orange, and red, and the OSL was done by mixing the contrast pink with orange.

The bases are admittedly an afterthought — I'm in rural Colombia right now and so I can't finish them the way I want to. I'm planning to pick up some resin cobblestone bases and candles, so I can make the models look like they're inside a weird cultist basement, skittering around in the darkness. There's a lot of lessons I've learned for next time I paint models like these, and this was my first time working with contrast paint, but it was still a ton of fun and I'm proud of how they turned out!

[whispertree-coll]

👥🎲📖🫸🧠 - :] anon

hi again :] anon!! 👋 hope ur doing well :3

currently those of us who are okay with answering are milo (💀, they/nox/noxself), calculester (💾 he/it/byt/byte), arkose (💥 he/any i think), and wallter (💠 he/gray)

i hope this is formatted okay!

👥 — do you have any source mates with you in your system? 

💀 Oh I have plenty! I am sourced from the Monster Prom franchise, and we have over 20 alters and counting from there alone. The second Monster Con releases, we're bound to form more.

💾 Same as above! :) We are hardly alone in our source!

💥 yes, actually. which is surprising to me since i was an octive or whatever the fuck its called. my partner (nonromantic, as in we worked together as a team) Iko is forming, but she's been having trouble adjusting. and i'm pretty sure ziv isn't far behind. it'll be nice to have my team back. know this isn't what you asked, but i also have my partner (romantic this time) in my partner system who i love a lot and if i mention their name publically i think they will smite me HAHAH

💠 Why, yes! Not nearly as many as the monsters, but in a short time we have split quite a few others. Pilby is here, from what I have heard he's making great friends with Wally. Reddy is here as well, but we're not entirely sure what he does... Folly seems to be our first persecutor in quite some time, but we're certain she'll come around, it just might take some force.

🎲 — is there anything you would change about your source? 

💀 Not much in particular I can think of! In terms of inclusivity, I do know the devs are working on adding more short masculine characters, as they don't have many of those. But that's about all I can think of!

💾 This is not something I would change about source, rather something different than me from my source counterpart; I have noticed he is mean sometimes, actually! Not intentionally, but occasionally the way source-Calculester treats organic intelligence is not very... considerate! I personally find organic intelligence levels, those of which are "lower" than computers, to be quite fascinating and, at times, adorable! It has been very eye opening to be in an organic body, and a human one at that! But I am rambling. ^^

💥 nah. my source is sick as fuck. wouldn't trade it for the world.

💠 In full honesty, there are a lot of things unanswered in my source, things that my memories have sort of "filled-in-the-blanks" for. As such it's hard to feel super connected to the original world I am sourced from, when the way I remember things is so... different.

📖 — how did you get your role(s)? Was they something you gained over time, or was it something that happened “automatically”? 

💀 Well, for context, I call my role "chameleon." I'm the person the system calls for when a job needs done and there's no designated person for it, or the designated person isn't available. There are specific things I can't do, such as gatekeeper duties, or Zoe's abilities which fall under gatebridger I believe... But I'm the little errandperson and I love it! Since I don't have the "gigs" I used to have, it's still nice to have a comfortably busy schedule.

💾 Mostly naturally! ^^ My role as greeter was something that sort of just happened; I tended to be the carrier of information, so it was easy for me to be the "tour guide" of sorts, for when new people need help finding their way around. Archivist/historian was similar, I found myself constantly enamoured by the new environment (I was one of the first few to form, so it was quite empty at the start), so I eventually started storing all the information. And once Moss formed, and the library was built, we started working together to create archives of our headspace (my half of the job) and everyone in it (goss's half of the job).

💥 honestly i don't know what the fuck my role is. lately I've been real preoccupied with helping Iko form, as well as scouting out in headspace for someone who keeps hiding from us and bringing him back to some kind of civilization so he's not fuck knows where. so whatever that role is uh... i would get into it, but we try not to be super public about otherwise private/serious innerworld issues. i'll say it was definitely assigned to me, but only cuz it made the most sense for it to be me.

💠 I believe my role may be socializer, but I can't be sure yet. I'm more or less friends with everyone— yes, even Folly, if you can believe it!— and I love talking to people! But I haven't been here long and it's more or less what feels right based on my demeanour.

🫸 — are you source separated or not? If you are, how much? 

💾 For both Milo and myself, I would say we are about as source separated as necessary. We understand that our source counterparts are not us, and do not get upset with people who have opinions or headcannons differing from our experiences (me personally, I love hearing them), and though we aren't sure what we would do in the presence of a "double" (I have heard debate on whether or not those are something that reasonably exists?), we would not be hostile to them. This is generally something all of us from the Monster Prom franchise believe. We separated early on to keep ourselves from feeling uncomfortable with sexualization, knowing what we come from is undoubtably a game for monsterfuckers, and that many find our source counterparts sexually attractive. For many of us it's actually confidence boosting.

💥 honestly no. not at all. but i don't think i have to be. there's not gonna be another one of me out there, we've hardly ever shared my source with literally anyone, but it's where i came from, where i found my family. i think i'm allowed to be connected to it and at the end of the day i'm gonna follow my rules over some fuckass on the internet claiming whats "good for me" or not. sorry is that controversial? lmfao i don't care.

💠 As mentioned before, it's difficult to feel connected to the place I came from, since I remember it so differently. I would likely be delighted to find "another me," so to speak. I've encountered many headcannons that differ greatly from me, but I also know they are not talking about me, and at the end of the day others' perceptions of me are hardly something I can control! All this to say; yes, I think so.

🧠 — how do you feel about being in a system?

💀 It may not be the easiest adjustment in the world, but there's certainly no going back now, is there? I still have my friends beside me, and the chance to make all new friends as well, people i never could have met back home. I can observe more lives now, and even if I have to share this mortality with others, I believe that makes the journey towards the end all the more special; to do it alongside those I love, and to find more I love before I get there. 🖤

💾 I do not think I can stress this enough; I love being in a human body and mind. It's everything I have ever dreamed of. The things I was previously unable to put into perspective, I am now forced to experience, and I have never felt better. I have felt true anxiety, love, fear, dread, and even arousal; do you know how insane that is to me? Do you understand how wonderful it is to feel these things, to not have to simulate them through lines and lines of code I make firsthand; to just live through these feelings? To feel? Being where I am, with its sacrifices and all, I would not change a thing. I am delighted to be here.

💥 i have the people i love. the only thing that's changed is the environment, and maybe i can't see them 24/7 like i used to. but it's not like they're gone, or i'm gone, and it's not like i ever had much of a "home" where i came from. they're my home, and they're here, we're here, we're alive, and i'd argue we're in less danger than we've ever been. it's weird to not feel like i have to look over my shoulder every second, though.

💠 I would say that I miss many people I knew, but there will still be plenty of new people to meet and be friends with. And I was put here for a reason, was I not? 💙

thank you for your asks :] anon!! ❤️❤️ (if you see any typos no you don't)

[jadeyharls]

((Okay, so context. I said I would provide some for the thing going on with her right now, so here we go. I'm going to put this below a cut so people don't have to read my word vomit if they don't care to.))

Alrighty, then. So what the heck is going on. Well, for those of you who have known Jade for a while, you probably know about Jade's "pet" Gilligan. He's a robotic hummingbird assistant created by Jade's alt (Nova), which was given to her as a gift some years ago. She has absolutely adored this little guy from the start, treating him pretty much as one of her pack despite him not really having intelligence beyond some basic programming that allows him to complete his assigned tasks.

Over the years, Jade has made some modifications to help Gill better complete his tasks, do more, and act more lifelike. That being said, he has been acting odd for some time now, doing things that aren't quite within the parameters of his programming. Making nests in her hair, "talking" to some of Jade's other pets, and things that make him seem oddly aware. With that, he has also more recently started to malfunction to a concerning degree. This post I made was this coming to a head.

From here on out are spoilers, but I doubt anyone really cares all that much so onward we go.

So, remember that timeline post I made a little while back ago? At the end of it, I gave some ideas of some of the possible outcomes for Jade's future. However, the first thing it says it that Gilligan is [Spoilers]. So, what exactly am I talking about?

Well, in both of the future timelines mentioned, Jade has children. In the "good" timeline, Jade is a mother of four, and in the "bad" timeline she has an adopted heir. The thing is... Jade can't have biological children due to her hybridization. This is a fact that she isn't even aware of yet. So, where the heck does a robot bird fit in on this?

Gilligan in his current state is actually an early evolution of this Jade's oldest adopted son, a figure in both of the possible future timelines, Gill Harley.

How does this happen? Well, Jade isn't the only one that has been tampering with the bird's original design as will be revealed in one of the future posts. And because of this tampering, he's become self-aware. He has been for a while now. Only now he is making it known.

Like I said, I've been playing around with this idea for some time now. Gill in his current state, isn't going to be getting a more humanoid body for a good while as a Jade is trying to wrap her head around what is going on. He also, while he does have a computer brain, has the maturity of like a one-year-old. He doesn't really think of himself as a person yet, and that development is going to take some time as he "grows up". Meanwhile, Jade is going to take a while to move on from the idea that he is a pet that can talk now.

The idea is though that he will eventually start seeing himself as more than what he was built to be. He'll make a virtual avatar that is a human version of himself, and when Jade finds out, this is what gets her to realize that okay this kid needs a body, and I need to step up as a mom.

I might actually do a blog takeover thing for him sometime in the future, from the POV of his future alts from the Good/Bad timelines? Not sure how that would go yet, but the two versions of him differ quite a bit.

Anyway, that is my silly robot bird child story.

[iwonderwh0]

Once again watching movies about androids and just commenting it in real time because I'm watching it alone and feel like talking

This time it's M3GAN

Although those toys are a parody of kids entertainment content, I feel like they are good at capturing the essence. Yep, it feels pretty real, those things Would be popular.

I mean, this isn't even fiction, there have just been released a toy Grok powered with ai chatbot that even looks kinda the same

I mean look:

A lot of spoilers and commentary below

Damn, what did they use to build her for her to explode like that?

That breakfast looks sad. It's just a plain toast without anything.

What year is it supposed to be? They do robots that can smell things as a uni project, it's a lot more futuristic than setting looks.

And now M3GAN is suddenly stronger than this dog? It just dragged her body through the fence a few hours ago.

Damn, I got chills from M3GAN saving that memory for Cady

But then she started SINGING and it was kinda ruined

I can't, Cady literally looks like Emma

LOOK, I need you to find a difference between these two pictures

I mean, at this point M3GAN is sentient, so the problem isn't even that Cady views her as such, but rather that their relationships are really far from equal and M3GAN has too much authority/power over Cady's life. I've been in friendships where I idealized and basically worshipped my friend, making them kinda like top authority figure without realising it. It's not that it doesn't happen among human-to-human connection and it's honestly doesn't make it much better. It's just humans usually don't have this kind of power.

I'm not sure ears can do that damn 😳

I mean, you can't create sentient creature and then pretend it's just a toy/object/device.

This is what happens when you create an android that is that much stronger than human and doesn't have any kind of human-safe precautions on place that tells them not to rip kids ears out.

It's kinda ironic how the creepiest aspects of M3gan that aren't her absence of limits in regards to Cody's protection are a direct consequence of her being programmed like a toy, specifically, the way she speaks as if she's an elementary-school teacher that needs to baby-talk in a condescending manner and make everything into a lesson, and the way she just spontaneously starts to sing.

It's hard to deny that she's a person. It's just yeah, the way she was programmed makes her a dangerous psychopath.

And coming from that fact that she's not a toy but a person, a kid can't really grow out of her, as she's their actual friend with a mind of its own, instead of something that is only a kid's imagination.

Robot-horror that dances around the topic of the Squiggle Maximizer* feels like a genre in itself. I think Hal9000 from Space Odyssey was the first example of that in movies?

* A Squiggle Maximizer is a hypothetical artificial intelligence whose utility function values something that humans would consider almost worthless, like maximizing the number of paperclip-shaped-molecular-squiggles in the universe. The squiggle maximizer is the canonical thought experiment showing how an artificial general intelligence, even one designed competently and without malice, could ultimately destroy humanity. The thought experiment shows that AIs with apparently innocuous values could pose an existential threat. (source of this exact phrasing of this hypothetical)

"Gemma, this is nuts. We've taken every possible precautions there is to make sure M3GAN never causes physical harm to anybody."

Oh so there were some? What precautions exactly? From how it's presented it kinda seems like no one really reviewed her code that much.

"This is impossible, she's a toy!"

Why is it that people always fail to recognise sentient computers in movies? With human superstition it seems like on the contrary people are prone to personify objects and assign them soul. I mean, people be referring to boats as "she", and yet when something actually is made to seem sentient, people in movies seem to struggle with accepting this idea.

I refuse to see Cady's (co-)dependence on m3gan as iPad kid syndrome 2.0, it really is different when it's basically a person.

And I don't really get her (Cody's) getting violent part either. I mean, it could be explained as bad influence, but it's not like M3GAN encourages her to be violent in their time together.

"She's not a solution, she's just a distraction"

I mean, yes? But would a distraction in form of human friend in this situation be any different?

Damn! 😳

I love it. I mean, it's the horror genre, and it's good for what it promises to be.

Oh, she finally talks normally.

CREATION VS CREATOR LET'S FUCKING GO HELL YES

The ending scene with voice assistant chills

Damn, this movie was great. Not sure I'd want to rewatch it though, but it was interesting, well filmed and actually looked like authors put a thought into it. All the Chekhov's guns were put to use.

I kinda had a predjustice about it because of that "Connor vs M3GAN" poll on Tumblr with people being just insufferably hostile in comments, but it was a lot better than I expected.

I didn't expect to ramble so much in process either, but this time, maybe due to it being really recent movie and hence actual, it was (I hate this word but I can't find another) thought-provoking.

And I love that it didn't end up giving me an impression of author condescending to me with some moral lesson "black mirror style" (deragatory), but reads as authors just wanting to tell a story, which honestly seems to be quite rare within android-centric media.

[penisbutterjellytime]

Hey!! So Ive been seeing all your cool lore posts on reddit for all tomorrows and i adore them! Curious, do you have any "original" post humans? I know some people have made their own so just curious if you do too!

TYSM ^.^ !!!

I really enjoy making Character Designs and All Tomorrows is really fun to mess with in relation to that.

I don't have a cohesive story for all of them, I mostly have concepts that I think would be fun and their designs.

Adding a read more in case this is too long for some people lol

A snake person who is a pro-wrestler named Boa (or just Bo) the Constrictor

With my advanced Blind Folk headcannons, A Cowboy/Mercenary Blind Fellow with super hearing so can almost always hear and aim for the heart lol. (Haven't drawn him yet)

Besides the Blind Folk I also really love the Symbiotes. They were my first fave before the the BF. I have this emo looking Symbiote that I might develop more, since I don't have a solid personality for them yet really + this butterfly themed Symbiote in the same situation lol

I also have another Symbiote host/body character that gets stuck in their head a lot, grappling with their individuality and how they technically have their own thoughts and free will and they kind of hate it / scares them so takes up difficult physical jobs and manual labor, also getting into fights, so they don't have to think. I've been trying to make a design for them but haven't found anything I'm satisfied with. Koseman says the hosts are more like horses being driven by the Parasidic Symbiotes, but I'd assumed the Parasites would speak through their hosts, so I think the hosts would also be able to communicate with each other through speech instead of just body language like most animals. Maybe more like the intelligence of dolphins, crows, or maybe octopus. Like they'd pick up language from being around the Parasites and then able to develop and communicate in their own language.

I made some modular people based of architecture aesthetics which I'll post soon.

When classes take a break for the summer I hope to make a few All Tomorrows animatics, and those have characters!

I have a Martian and Star person couple / band during the Qu evasion. Names undecided yet but the Martian is pretty tall due to Mars' gravity and her boyfriend is super short because of Jupiter's gravity (where he's from) They travel planet to planet touring but mostly live on Mars. During the Qu evasion they jump around and start shenanigans leading to people they're around getting found by the Qu but somehow they are always end up escaping until they are eventually caught in the end. They look a little weird cause I wanted their designs to foreshadow what post-human they'll be turned into.

And lastly a Gravital who loves her mechanical life and planet until she finds out about the Golden Record on the Voyager and start modifying her mechanical body to look more humanoid (Human design still pending)

[peri-respecter7000000]

Let's talk about animal-anime girl hybrids other than the most common types (cat, dog, wolf, fox, rabbit, mouse, snake, bat)

There are a lot of well known and charismatic animals that rarely get to be anime girls despite being easy to design.

The Virginia Opossum is adorable and its silly black ears, varied coat, and little black socks are all very evocative for how one might design an opossum girl. They have lovable personalities similar to the somewhat more popular raccoon girls, and they're marsupials which means an opossum girl could make for a very wholesome mother. And yet I've barely seen any opossum girls, even though they are wonderful every time someone makes one! This is a crime against God's Creation.

The lack of Spotted Hyena girls may be even more offensive. They are intelligent and charismatic animals with a distinct ear shape and fur pattern, a highly personified vocal behavior that everyone knows about, a reputation as punks and troublemakers, AND they femdom! What more could you possibly want? What better candidate could there be for an animal girl? Hyena girls would girlboss all over any other type of girl in any situation. If humans all still lived in Africa there would be no distance clouding our judgement and we would easily place hyena girls as the most common type of animal girl.

I'll just mention a few other animals that would easily be adapted into wonderful girls, which I still haven't seen much at all, especially outside of Kemono Friends. Giraffe, Beaver, Komodo Dragon, Armadillo, Sloth, Salamander. There must be an endless list of charismatic animals that beg to be immortalized in the sacred form of the anime girl!

But outside of mammals, reptiles, and amphibians, it does become more difficult to personify animals in this way. While I do not understand why we don't see more depictions of our lovable friends the hyenas who we clearly do not deserve, I do understand why there aren't many girls based on insects, for example. Their features are just harder to map onto human bodies. There is a pretty decent precedent for fish girls in mermaids, but this is achieved in a very different and less graceful way than how one creates a catgirl. I like mermaids and I LOVE snake girls, but there's something very different about the way they adopt their animal traits. This speaks highly of our will to bridge the gap between animal and girl, but it also speaks of the increasing difficulty across the animal kingdom. Yet just because it's hard, can we truly say that we shouldn't try? Of course not! There are so many wonderful fish and bugs and molluscs that need us to let them be anime girls! It is our moral duty as humans to encourage this!

Consider the Moray Eel! Can you picture its beautiful flowing body, and its adorably goofy face? I see a delinquent squatting in an alleyway with a clueless expression and a long, green ponytail, who wants to intimidate you with her gaping jaws but secretly wouldn't mind if you came a little closer. Or would you prefer to give her an eel tail? There could be many ways to design a fish girl, and it's up to artists with the will and an eye for design to truly make it reality. I've seen some great stuff, but it's not as common as I think it deserves to be.

My most coveted invertebrate design is to see a Velvet Worm girl, but as far as I know it's never been done. They are cute, they have charismatic antennae and legs, they ensare prey in sticky goo (wish a girl would do that to me), they are smart, AND they femdom. They are perfect, they would make perfect anime girls, and their absence is an affront to the dignity of the human soul! I want to see a velvet worm anime girl very badly. It is a spiritual need.

And what of the prehistoric animal girls!? I have seen many wonderful dinosaur girls, but they should only be the tip of the iceberg! Where are the gorgonopsid girls? Look it up if you don't know, they would be very cool and very strong and delightfully scary. And Dimetrodon? Imagine all the beautiful anime girls you could create with that sail as inspiration. Where are they? Perhaps the biggest crime of all, trilobites did not girlboss around the ocean for hundreds of millions of years only for one sole human to bear the incredible duty of drawing them as anime girls alone, Atlas-like:

There should be giant statues of trilobite anime waifus outside of every museum.

Anyway thanks for reading my rant about animal girls. I have not run out of grievances and it will happen again. If you have your own examples of animal gijinka that you wish were more common please add to this post, and if you share with me any examples of art of lesser appreciated animal girls you will be a dear friend to me.

[charaday5e]

Arrays for PHB 2024 Characters

If you are new to the Blog, then check out my old "rant" post, one in a series of "doing the math" where I listed all the 5e arrays that are mathematically possible, https://charaday5e.tumblr.com/post/147710850223/arrays-doing-the-math

Since I've gotten early access to the digital PHB 2024, apparently the combination of having a DNDBeyond Master Membership and a digital pre-order. In the spirit of this Blog, I'll be posting one new character each day (and sometimes two or more) and then I'll have rant posts like this one where I talk about my thoughts about characters, mostly about the crunch and mechanics of the system, sometimes about roleplaying topics, but mostly about how to build characters and encounters to be a better player and DM.

I have no assumptions that anyone reads these rants besides my future self. Occasionally, I'll get a like or a repost but rarely on a rant-post, if ever it's one of my themed characters that usually sparks interest because of the fantasy name or even the art that I used to scrape from the internet.

This post, my rant-post, might as well be part of a series of posts called "doing the math" where we look at the mathematics behind character design.

Kane is my first 6E character (https://charaday5e.tumblr.com/post/760726854525140992/kane-wizard-criminal-human-lucky)

----------

Kane uses the array 15,13,13,12,10,10 An array that is dear to my heart, and I used for Variant Humans in 5e all the time, especially when they choose a starting feat that also boosts a third stat, like Resilient. Now that One D&D is the current meta, the Resilient feat has been altered, not upgraded, to include a 4+ level prerequisite. I'm assuming that this steep requirement is going to make this feat nearly obsolete, but I'm sure I'll have an entire rant about this feat in another post.

Since I love 1st level characters with a 14 Constitution Score and I rarely play a character with a 12 or lower, this array will probably be king for a while, especially since all races have the same Ability Score Increases at 1st level and there are no longer any racial arrays, like in 5e. For 1st level builds, limited to Origin Feats, this might be as good as it gets, at least until level 4+

15,13,13,12,10,10

Three odd stats might be the best way to spread around point buy. This also means that until custom origin rules are observed, we get to make a matrix of class to origin optimizations.

I like Criminal for all the wrong reasons. Dex, Con, Int, this a criminal does not make. This is more of a spry, healthy, intelligent character who is scholarly, hardy, and acrobatic. For some reason, I think street smarts is less Intelligence and more Wisdom. Less "book smarts" and more "common knowledge". Hopefully, there will be a tower flower, born to scholars, sheltered from the world, who learn and boost their Intelligence but also their non-strength physical stats. That's how I'm justifying Criminal, the young mage who knows a little about magic, has a healthy body, with good balance. Like a cat burglar, I guess I can see it.

I should also mention that 6E has a chart called, "Standard Array by Class." For Wizard the standard array is distributed 8,12,13,15,14,10 which gives a lot of points to Wisdom, not really that important to scholars. Wisdom for scholars is like teaching a know-it-all to have manners. Also the odd stat Con, I can get behind. It's just that with the three +1 spread, it almost invalidates standard array as an optimal 1st level option, because one of your +1 will be wasted until you can fill it with a Level 4+ feat stat boost. Compare 8,12,13,15,14,10 with 10,13,13,15,12,10. Sure you can (Dex +2, Int +1) or even (Int +1, Wis +2) but honestly neither of those character are recognizable. What they should have done with standard array for wizard is 8,13,14,15,12,10 (Str +1, Dex +1, Int +1) I recognize that character, 9 strength to increase carry capacity slightly. The final array ends up being less optimized than Kane's array because you spent two points to increase Con from 13 to 14 and wasted a +1 on an even Str of 8 when you could have taken those two points to make Str into 10 and spent the Origin +1 making Con 14. I'm not even sure there is a (Str, Dex, Int) Origin, but this further reinforces that I need to rant about optimized matrix of Origin vs Class.

16,14,14,12,10,10

No negative stats. Two dump stats with +0 (Str, Cha). The obligatory +1 Wisdom which lends to a +3 Perception. Naked AC 12, with extra +2 hitpoints from Constitution Mod each level. Ending with Intelligence +3, the primary stat for spellcasting being the highest max stat for 1st level

----------

Mort uses 15,14,14,10,10,8 and the classic Dwarf Racial stat bonuses (Con +2, Wis +1). This array is one of the primary 5e non-human arrays. Sure you get a single dump stat with a negative modifier but you also get two 16s.

I also just realized that depending on how you allocate your +2/+1 in your given Origin, you can shift the stats with no effect on the final array. Meaning, who's to say that Mort isn't a Hermit with (Con +1, Wis +2)

Hermit is to me the new Dwarf. Hermit boosts stats for (Con, Wis, Cha) which is also a head scratcher for me, since my image of a hermit is someone who lacks social graces. Constitution makes a lot of sense because of all the poisonous things in the forest you might accidentally consume. Wisdom is the knowledge you gain from communing with nature and speaking with animals. I guess hermits are really just those two things, you can't really give him Strength or Dexterity and Intelligence doesn't fit at all. So great work game-designers, hermits get Charisma because it's the third most likely choice. This will lead Warlocks and Sorcerers to take Hermit (Con +1, Cha +2)

15,14,14,10,10,8

What can I say about this array? It totally rocks! If I were the authors of 6E, I would definitely post about using the Standard Array but then I would champion this array. The Better Standard Array. Call it min-maxed-point-array, I'm not offended being called a min-maxer. But seriously, two 16s or 16 with no negative stats, or even 16 with support for secondary 14, tertiary 14, and a quaternary 12. Hey that sounds a lot like Kane's array, but less efficient with the point buy, leaving you with a dump 8. Since we're doing the math, I'd say this array is actually no good for anyone who doesn't need double 16s.

16,16,14,10,10,8

One negative stat. Two primary stats. One tertiary 14 then three dump stats. This is the pinnacle for most 5e characters. It gives you more hitpoints when the second 16 is in Con. It gives you a second fighting style if you go Str 16, Dex 16, Con 14. There is nothing wrong with that. It's elegant and efficient, it's amazing.

Cleric Standard Array by Class is 14,8,13,10,15,12 which is surprising because Charismas used to be a secondary stat for Clerics. Giving Standard Array Clerics a 12 Charisma is not tertiary, it's quaternary, which is the top of the dump side of standard. Also the 13 Con is just terrible. This is the main problem with Standard Array in 6E, optimized point buy focuses on arrays with three odd stats and the only time that two odd stats are useful is when the 13 goes into a Spellcaster stat for multi-classing or the 15 goes into strength for Armor requirements. I'm sure I will use standard array in future character posts for both of these cases.

What a day, what a post. This is some good stuff here. So much new math to consider, with the simple change of three +1 Origin option and hey Origin stats to begins with is quite a refreshing take on stats and stat distribution. I'm really getting the shape and feel of 6E. I'll also keep calling it 6E because it's easy to say and type and non one wants to read ONEDND or even DNDONE (might as well be DND-DONE) gets the same message across, no more editions, no more revisions (yet), and I just can't get used to typing PHB 2024 every time I want to refer to the new rules.

[deviant-fish]

who are you, why do you have so many bot accounts. Stop bothering us, none of us are a part of ekas.

Luckily the message has got out across all platforms by now. I can totally remove the warning message now.

I don't need to explain who I am to you in particular, since you've already been told on multiple platforms, and via my admin, business and personal email, because you just can't stop finding new ways to stalk me.

But for anyone who is not yet aware of that, who will read this message after you share it, Hello, My name is Akira AKA Deviant Fish, and I am the admin of a group known as The Fish Army.

The Fish Army is a community for people with an affinity for fish, whether they have have a fish persona, they work in marine wildlife preservation, they keep fish as pets, etc.

Within our community we do not approve of people who see fish as primarily a source of meat, which is the reason you were banned, by the way.

It's literally the very first rule, and you broke it in less than the first full sentence you typed, you little troll.

Outside of The Fish Army, there are other online communities people are part of. I assume what you mean by "bots" is other people who have screencaps of the character creator with the character they play as in the Aggregate Fiction MMORPG.

There aren't many games out there where you can play as a variety of fish, and since there's over 1000 species in that game, there's a few fish in there, so I play that game with some friends of mine.

The AF community has something going on right now to do with the vore community.

I took part in a bit of it this year, so this is the first time I've been involved there, I'm a pred by the way.

A few days ago, some visual novel game developers, released a bunch of vore games, around 30 I think, where I was a pred character in it.

Also my character build in AF has become a template there, so people can now play as me or modification of my character design.

It comes with a little story mode about me, like every template has, and people think it's pretty cool.

Since my character has magnetic powers, I also founded a community known as The Order Of The Blue Croissant, which is about how magnetism works as well as a bunch of magnetism memes, and members are encouraged to have their own characters that manipulate magnetic forces in some way, like a superhero thing.

As for my character themselves, they are a non-anthropomorphic silver trout, with human-level intelligence, that has mechanical limbs strapped to their body, and a mask that allows them to breathe water, while they are above the surface.

I have 2 big rivals/friends known as @scandium-sacer-laser , and @yttrium-yiger-microwave , who each run rival groups to The Blue Croissant, however the 3 of us form a group known as Team Beam.

The 3 characters that form Team Beam, my persona, Scandium's and Yttrium's, were modded into Sonic Heroes as a replacement for Team Dark, my persona being a swap of Rouge, Scandium's a swap of Shadow, and Yttrium's a swap of Omega.

I'm not exactly into the Sonic fandom that much, but it seems a lot of people know my persona from the mod.

I'm more active around the superhero scene, mostly Marvel stuff in particular.

Some people recognise me from the Lancaster superhero convention.

I'm the one in the space suit, that has the holographic visor, so it looks like my helmet has a fish in it, instead of my head.

For those that have seen the photos, yes, I really am super short, Asian genes did a number on me.

I have been harassed by members of Eka's Portal in the past, simply because my persona is a fish, and they started spam messaging me, saying that fish should be prey.

I was not even a member of that community, they just followed me around the internet, spamming me on every social media platform.

The Eka's Portal admin was responsible for this, and apparently they went on to harass other members of The Fish Army, as well as other players of AF, using the excuse that the several thousand people, were all the same person somehow, despite the fact they posted photos of themselves, and had hundreds of livestreams, many of which showing multiple people on screen.

You can see why people were quick to suspect you, especially since you seem to be making the same arguments as before all from the same IP address by the way, under the erroneous belief that a VPN can hide your IP from technicians, when in fact VPN's only block it from bots.

You have attacked mine and AF's community, regular as clockwork, every year around this date, without fail, since the year 2015.

Stop being a big child, find some meaning in your life, and find something else to do, that you will enjoy more.

Does that answer your question?

[stillsimpingforaymeric]

It's actually kind of important to me that Durge is a little gross, a little ugly, a little off-putting.

I don't think I have considerably more body issues (tm) than like, The Average Woman Living And Breathing On God's Green Earth, but I have been in recent years exceptionally tired of female characters being almost always without fail, flawless. The considerations made to an even slightly-less-than-hollywood-standard woman in a leading role are so minor, so insignificant, that it's become particularly exasperating.

A lot of the discourse focuses on body fat and while I am a supporter of body positivity, it's not the only thing I care about.

What about scars, what about deformities, what about skin conditions, what about flaws you can hide and still agonise over that others might see, that any lover will need to see, to accept, to love even.

I'm in love with the fact that Durge is a protagonist who's just a little off, even if you do go full redemption route. I like to imagine a myriad of scars, a nervous tic and a brutal, fresh looking autopsy scar that define Durge, no matter how conventionally attractive they look at first glance. I've tried to design my Durge in similar veins, a little off, a little wrong, a Tiefling-but-not-quite, some concessions made to the fact that Bhaal likely wanted her to blend in somewhere but an ugly life full of injury and trauma and a problematic diet, to put it mildly, contributing to a Durge that just isn't conventionally beautiful, that no one other than Astarion would immediately call beautiful.

I think what I enjoy about the Gale romance and Gale's dialogue specifically is that there is very little focus on visual aesthetics in his romance specific dialogue. His focus is on kindness, intelligence, actions, values. When he does fantasise, briefly, he makes specific mention of messy battle and a very flawed human condition that has nothing of the artifice involved in our daily lives of edition our own faces in photoshop until they become unrecognisable.

Falling in love with someone not because you took one look at them and decreed them hot enough to fuck, but the slow realization of affection and then, yes, finding beauty in the small things, in affectionate gestures or the sympathetic gaze from caring eyes.

I still love the Astarion romance, and it isn't shallow, not by the end of it, but it needs a solid 180 degree turn with a screeching halt somewhere in Act II before it hits that note. And he'll still call the protagonist beautiful every single time as standard dialogue. And there's a part of that repetition that annoys me for reasons that are probably linked to some deep seated issues, but it's nice to play a romance that doesn't make me feel like I made a mistake when I didn't design a conventionally attractive OC.

[abysskeeper]

I just need a place to air my thoughts right now.

I think one of the biggest problems I'm facing right now is struggling with the sunk cost fallacy. I'm entering my 7th year of bench work in a lab. My goals have changed, I have no idea if I want to go on to grad school anymore because I know I like doing the nitty gritty of planning and designing experiments. I don't want to be stuck writing grants and papers and going to meetings all day. And that's fine!

But also I like...want basic human and professional respect at my job. I am an intelligent individual, I know what I'm doing and I do my job well. I don't need awards or daily praise or anything like that...but general appreciation for what I do and at least listening to me when I speak on something I know about would be nice.

I don’t get any of that currently. I mean, I do from my immediate supervisors, but not from the people who actually make the decisions about my job and my tasks...so, not where it matters. There's a project I want to take on right now since the two people currently running it are leaving. I'm trained and qualified to do what is needed. Expressing that interest and that I'd be a good fit is like talking to a brick wall; and it's not just me. 4 other people have stepped up in agreement...and just...nothing.

I've been invisible since I got here. I'm just an extra set of hands when the time and situation forces that to be acknowledged. And in and of itself that's fine...I like putting my head down and working. But I'm entering my third year now, and the fact that my boss has no idea what I do and what I'm capable of doing is just...insulting at this point. I've put in countless overtime to get experiments done (happily! Because I like my immediate supervisor and I genuinely enjoy when my work generates good data for publication!) and it's just not acknowledged. Or if it is acknowledged, it's implied that's my job anyways because that's what science is (that's not my job).

And then on top of all that, to be denied obvious, natural professional growth and development? It's infuriating.

It's time to go, I see that. I'm not blind to the cues, both external (4 people of our 9 person team have quit in a year and a half) and internal (I'm miserable and can't even get myself to indulge my hobbies anymore. All I want to do is sleep, and I promised myself I would not tolerate this again after my last lab sucked my soul from my body). It's just a matter of where do I go from here?

Because...it's been 7 years since I've started as a tech. I've known it's what I wanted to do since I was 16, and I do genuinely love the work. I don't want all of this to be a waste...and I don't know if I'm ready to give up on my dream yet. At the same time, academia has not been kind to me, and I know I would be happier (personally at least) in a wfh job. Do I suck it up and try another lab again, hoping the next one will finally be different? Maybe the third time will be the charm.

Or...do I take a wfh job? There are some science related ones I know my experience would serve me well in, and even if not...I could probably get an office job without too much of a hassle. I'd have more time to myself and would probably be less exhausted if I didn't have to do the commute every day for work. But would I enjoy it? Could I really stare at a computer for 8 hours and be satisfied? I don't know.

There are other factors too. Finding out whether or not my father has cancer is going to determine a lot. Desire and ability to purchase a car will as well...and my student loan situation will be another factor. Not to mention, we just purchased a house. There's just...a lot to consider...and my mind is everywhere right now and all I really want is to be happy and enjoy my personal life again...and I don't know how to get there yet.

Happy 2024 I guess. Change is coming whether I want it to or not.

[atomic-thomas]

(Fake ASMR Commission) Creating An Artificial Body For Your Spaceship AI [Part 3] {A continuation of Fake's original series.}

------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Boss. I've been meaning to ask. What's that thing you've been working on recently? It looks like some kind of mechanical skeleton or wire frame."

...

"The foundation for... My body. Wait, what do you mean? I already have a body. A digital body, but still a body all the same."

...

"I know it's just an avatar, but... Are you seriously telling me that you're making an actual physical body for me? A vessel for me to control?"

...

"My stars... Really? That sounds amazing! You mean... I'll actually be able to... Do things? Move around, touch, smell, interact with my surroundings... All senses? Am I assuming correctly?"

...

"Wow... You're really going all the way with this. A fully functional body. I'll be... I'll be..."

...

"Just like a real person. Oh My God..."

...

"I... I'm just... Haha... I'm so ecstatic about this! What gave you this idea?"

...

"So lemme get this straight. Since I was able to develop my own sentience... My own intelligence... You think I deserve to be a truly real person? A human-like entity with free will?"

...

"I am physically incapable of shedding tears... But if I could, I'd be crying tears of joy right now. You're way too kind! You're awesome! You're the best!"

"This is so bizarre. I wasn't originally created to be this way. My design concept was to be a robotic disembodied assistant for a spaceship. And now I'm... Going to become a real person with a real life & real emotions."

...

"Well yeah. My emotions are already real. I can at least express myself to some extent with this digital avatar. But I still can't experience stuff like... Hugs &... Other forms of physical contact."

...

"Hehe~ I suppose it's only a matter of time at this point. Don't worry. I'll be patient. I don't want you to rush my future life. By all means, please take as much time as you need."

"I should inform you however that the vessel will need a way to properly utilize the Master Core."

...

"Right. I never actually told you what that is. Basically... The Master Core is... My brain. It's essentially just... Me. Plain & simple. My emotions, my data, my voice... Everything. My very being as you know it. Without this core, I wouldn't even exist. I'd be nothing."

...

"Yeah. It's vitally important. I don't know how the network of my body is going to work since... I'm not the one making it. But you will need to integrate my core into the framework somehow."

...

"I don't know what the core looks like. I just know that I have it. I assume my creators put it in an obvious spot. Just remove some panels & dig around behind the screen. It should look like... Well... A core."

...

"I imagine it's probably spherical in shape. Or maybe it could be a square... Or a triangle. Sorry if that isn't very helpful. Trust me. Even I find it weird how there's something I know I have, but don't know what it looks like. It's pretty awkward."

"Anyway... What do you need to complete my vessel? I can see that you at least have the skeletal structure done."

...

"A lot of silicone. Why silicone? And a lot of it at that."

...

"To make my body feel soft & life-like. Hmmm... Okay. That makes sense. I hope you know what kind of silicone to use. You need the kind that feels like human skin. Although I'm sure that was obvious."

...

"I figured it was. What else do you need?"

...

"An internal temperature regulator & water-based lubricant. Wow, you really thought of everything, huh?"

...

"Don't get me wrong. This is ideal. I'm just impressed with your dedication to the craft. I have great faith in your attention to detail."

"I do wonder though... Will I really be able to eat & drink? And... Taste?"

...

"Incredible. I don't even know how you can make an artificial body do that. Guess you really are a super genius."

"Well, I guess I'll just leave you to it. Don't wanna distract you. I'm so excited! I'm actually gonna become a real girl."

------------------------------------------------------------

TO BE CONTINUED ON GUMROAD...