#and i've actually thought about sharing fic with people irl

[olderthannetfic]

Obvious Disclaimer that this is not about any specific anon in particular, not about OTNF themself, but that my following rant might *slightly* punch down on people who ARE, well, older than net fics are.

But my honest opinion is that I really don’t like it when us old heads tend to sorta…talk down to? “Adultsplain”, if that’s even a thing? To The Gen Zs, by being like “damn kids! back in my day we never used our real name or posted selfies or posted about our personal life at all!” Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of those people who never posted the real me — but not because I was anonymous and cared about online safety, because I was a liar 😂 That being said, there ARE older people who definitely over-shared or “doxxed” themselves and still do, and there’s younger people who don’t!

I also feel like being “ha, these stupid KIDS who post about their FANDOM LIFE on TIK TOCK under their REAL NAME AND FACE where IRLS CAN SEE THEM, how STUPID” is not doing anyone any favors. Is that, technically, a smart thing for kids to do? No. Has it become normalized? Yes. And does that suck for people who might be bullied or outed or whatever cuz they genuinely are dumb and don’t know better and then someone they don’t like sees their stuff? Yes.

We all talk about how there’s no more kids spaces on the internet and how that’s a shame, but then five seconds later we’ll reblog that one “At any time I’m at risk of seeing a 14 year olds opinion and that’s why I hate it here” post. There’s really so few kid spaces on the net now, that’s true. We should extend empathy and let the teens be obnoxious and pretentious in peace, rather than making it a point to “ratio” or “roast them.” Idk personally I’d be completely unbothered if some 14 year old insulted my fic or my ship or whatever. I’d just block and move on, no need to try to argue with them.

And also, not all kids are even pretentious or obnoxious! I’m not saying we all need to take the kids under our wings, but we should be careful about not hating them just for being in their teens years, you know?

Also… telling a teenager to not post PII or not get into discourse or not have social media or whatever will NOT work the way you want it to 😭 kids are by default a little bit oppositionally defiant so telling some rando teen to Get Off Your Lawn (blog) rather than just blocking them, will encourage said teen to Stay On Your Lawn.

I just hate how it’s become normal for adults to talk down to teens online. I was harassed by adults online as a kid, then years and years and years later i went through my own “Older Than You™️”phase where I myself was a shit to teenagers, and I truly regret that so much. To this day I still need to make an effort to be careful. I saw on Twitter where an adult posted a DM from a 13 year old, mocking them. The DM said “I’m 14 next year, can I follow you? Please don’t groom me.” And the adult OP was laughing at how stupid the dm was. A few years ago, I would’ve been one of the people retweeting that and rolling my eyes at the child. Now im disgusted by the people who WERE laughing at them.

And again I’m obviously not saying we should be “nice” to the teenagers who mock us for our ships or who virtue signal too hard. But we also don’t need to make fun of their CARRDS or call them Puri-teens or rag on them just for being 17 or younger, yk?

--

Teens aren't 'puriteens' just for being young, dude. They have to also be puritanical bullies.

I find the stuff about real names hilarious because, actually, if you're really Internet Old™, then you probably did use your real name... it was right there in your university e-mail address! Or your random early ISP address if your stepdad got it for you and thought the university format was the default. Thanks, stepdad.

I've done every single dumb thing from going to meet my internet pen pal at an Alice Cooper concert to flying to Ireland from Japan to stay with a fandom friend I'd never met without telling anyone where I was going and without a credit card or enough cash to flee if I had to. I remember sitting on the plane thinking "Man, this is such a CSI episode topic".

The really funny part was that despite what she'd said before I visited, we ran into each of her parents at different times and ended up going to a play courtesy of her uncle, and all of them were like "So how do you know each other?" and "But you'd met before, right? RIGHT?!"

The level of panopticon is horrifying now. Teens have my sympathy. That part really is worse, and I think it's driving an entire generation nuts and we're going to see even more shit about people wanting to run away and live in a cabin in the woods with no internet. But in general, I don't think we're so different.

[littlemissmanga]

The Bad Batch Finale - Thoughts and Thanks

Before I get into spoiler territory, I want to say the most sincere "thank you" I've ever mustered to this fandom.

I've been in fan spaces before, going back almost 15 years - most of that on Tumblr, to boot. I've been in inactive fandoms, small fandoms, big fandoms and "we're watching new episodes together in real time" fandoms ...

And none of them have ever given this sense of community and support. Ever.

There really is something special about The Clone Wars/Bad Batch fans, even within the Prequel lovers or Star Wars fans in general that breeds this kind of sentiment. It's truly unique and I found it at a time in my life when I was the most isolated physically from my support network and struggling to make new friends and connections IRL.

I cannot express in words just how much you all saved me with your validation and support.

The Shades of Blue series was the first fanfic I actually felt comfortable leaving a comment for on Tumblr, and the amazing @the-rain-on-kamino's kind and loving reaction gave me the courage to start writing fanfiction again. Not only that, but actually sharing it for the first time in years.

And after that, everyone else came in one at a time. From @deejadabbles and @sev-on-kamino's delightful, rabid and enabling reactions to my unhinged thots, to @wings-and-beskar supporting my unhealthy Wrecker obsession, to @l-lend being an absolute example of how to engage and interact in fan spaces to make room for everyone, to @wild-karrde, our bastion of supportive engagement and creative celebration (and a kickass writer in her own right) ... you all helped me come out of my shell in ways I can't express in words besides thank you.

@dystopicjumpsuit, @freesia-writes. @anxiouspineapple99, @dickarchivist, @wizardofrozz @523rdrebel

@starrylothcat @starqueensthings @the-bad-batch-baroness @multi-fan-dom-madnessand @moonlightwarriorqueen

You all have listened to my rambles, thoughts, and vent sessions - whether about fandom stuff or not - and I hope I've been able to return a fraction of that support.

@daimyosprincess, girl you get a whole special shoutout for the levels of depravity you encourage my thots to get to :D

And there are so many more!! People I may not talk to frequently (cause sending DMs gives me anxiety), but I see you commenting, liking, reblogging when I post and posting your own amazing writing or art for me to moon over.

@cyarbika, @madameminor, @spacemagicandlaserswords @merkitty49 @vodika-vibes

@kimiheartblade @nika6q @arcsimper5

@soaringthroughthegalaxy @sunshinesdaydream @sinfulsalutations and so so many more.

THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART

I'll still be around simping after our favorite clones. I hope you'll keep joining me.

Now, on to the spoilers!

I have to say overall, I like this conclusion. It's the happy ending we wanted, but if feels earned. I love that the boys got to grow old in peace with Omega. I love that their dedication to one another is reaffirmed and upheld as the strength it is, rather than - as Hemlock saw it - a weakness to exploit. And I loved that last little scene. It felt like a fanfic and I say that lovingly. It felt like the writers and animators put together the fic we all know would have happened if they left the ending on that fadeout of the Batch next to the tree on Pabu. And that felt like a kiss on the forehead as a fan.

Now here's what I didn't like.

I didn't like that they clearly rushed the end. Pacing wise, there were so many moments that were slowed down so you can feel the emotional impact ... but the editing of the scenes around them made this slower pace a mistake to me.

Like when Echo and Omega are sending Emerie and the kids away ... they all hug and take time to talk about their plan. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TIME. We know Hemlock has the others. We know Tarkin is on his way. YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SCENE TO HAPPEN HERE and Echo of all people would be on that, moving everyone along as he is trained to do. It feels artificial because we go from high intensity and fast paced to slow and dragging when nothing from the fast paced scene had been resolved. I think this could have been different if the scene with the kids in the hanger came before the Batch gets in to the hanger and knocked out. It would be a break from the fast pace of the Zillo escape, but without the immediate urgency of a rescue weighing over them (and us! I was having heart palpitations!). It also would then match the tone and sentiment of the scene between Hunter, Wrecker and Crosshair in the woods ("Omega needs all of us.").

These pacing issues are editing issues, and I think we're really seeing how post-production was truncated to get this out on time (or possible pre-production and storyboarding was truncated). I hate that production studios are making this practice more common to cut costs. We will wait longer for better quality storytelling.

My final example of this is Crosshair's story resolution. It doesn't happen. He still thinks he deserves to die on Tantiss (the sentiment from S3 Ep1) and even though Hunter and Wrecker tell him otherwise, we don't know if he internalizes that. And his climax is about trusting Omega to know what to do to take the shot. But Crosshair has (in this season) shown he always trusts Omega. It would have been better if his hand was still shaking and Hunter said "Omega trusts you. You'll make this shot." so that the external conflict for Crosshair is resolved by resolving his internal conflict and trusting himself as his family does. And it would leave Hunter's climax the same - trusting Omega as an competent member of the team.

It just feels rushed. Or like an abstract painting that almost looks like a real object, but just a little blurry. They almost stuck a perfect landing, but just missed the mark a bit.

I also hate how this means Wrecker gets fuck all resolution. The entire last episode was a really intriguing challenge for him. He knows Cross is off his game and Hunter is getting desperate and reckless again ... just as he is almost entirely knocked out of the fight from an injury. Him, the strong one. That should have been a great moment of growth for him. That he doesn't keep going because he always can -- which is very much how he comes across in TCW S7 and TBB S1 -- but that he actively makes himself the strong one, the supportive one, because that's what his family needs.

But no, we didn't get that. We didn't get any insight into Wrecker at all, despite him being the one to free his brothers enough for them to save Omega (and he saved Echo, too!). And then he doesn't speak again, though we see how banged up he is. I get it was less of a focus throughout the series, but man they didn't need to sideline my husband like that.

And finally, Tech.

Look, I may be delulu, but contextually, there was plenty of evidence that CX-2 was Tech. From speech and mannerisms to his blatant disregard for orders, to the seemingly personal level he took his missions.

But it's more than that - why show us this big tense moment of him breaking onto Phee's ship, which the focus being on Phee sensing him near? Why not just have that in the dialog with Hemlock the way Cid's confession was? That would have saved so much time that could have been put elsewhere. Why have such a focus on him in the marketing?

I'm not mad that Tech is dead. Let me make that clear. The showrunners said from the start they killed Tech to prove there are real, lasting consequences to characters' decisions. And I can respect that. And I can understand and appreciate the interpretation that CX-2 wasn't meant to rep Tech, but rather what the Empire can turn clones into, a threat to them all not just in the danger CX-2 poses, but the danger if they get caught.

And that's fair ... but then it could (and should have) been any and every CX trooper to fit that bill. There was no need to waste time and attention on one in particular.

And to be, that also ignores the clear wall of contextual and subtextual evidence that a reveal was planned. The posters are a great example.

Here is the Batch in the final poster:

And here is CX-2

He's standing at Crosshair's right, just out of frame. The lighting matches and he's even looking up to the right just like the rest of his brothers. The line of light cutting his left side even matches the one cutting above Crosshair's right side.

All the other posters showing Bad Batch adversaries has them lit more darkly or in shadow and has unique posing and positioning that do not reflect our heroes.

Why are we styling a brainwashed clone like one of the Batchers artistically? That's a weird choice.

I think the some big wigs wanted him back and others didn't want to water down the impact of his death and we're seeing that confusion and conflict on screen, when we really shouldn't. IDK if Disney was pushing it or the showrunners but either way, going halfsies and changing your mind (and impacting the resolutions we got because of it) is not a good look, especially from a studio like Disney/Lucasfilm. I'm not blaming Dave or Jen wholly, but we the audience should never be able to see the writer's room when we watch, and that's all I was able to see with this.

(My own husband was like "we are supposed to think that's Tech, right?" and he's not really a Bad Batch fan, he just indulges me.)

Alright, that's all I got. I'm happy with how my comfort show ended, I'll write fanfic to cover the pieces I don't agree with personally, and I'll remain ever grateful and supportive of the community who gave me this most precious gift.

I love you all.

And may the force be with you.

[sapwine-and-starcharts]

A Love Letter to the Fandom

So i've been trying to learn something from the Outer Wilds OST to play on the Webfishing Guitar again and ouuughhh

I have not actually played the game in MONTHS. My first ever serious playthrough was in 2020 ish and I replayed the whole thing as research for my fics a few months ago and when I tell you that the OST still makes me WILDLY emotional.

Listening to so many of my fav tracks, looking at medleys, researching guitar tabs so I can pick them apart and piece them back together, and STILL Riebecks Banjo gets me every time. Literally cannot hear a single banjo twang without getting misty-eyed.

It makes me wanna get all sappy and emotional about this game and everything it means to me

So I will <3

This game's fandom has been some of the most welcoming and sincere people I have ever met.

There are people on discord who've helped me come out of my shell (You know who you are I hope <3). I usually just join a server to lurk before ultimately putting it in a folder to never look at again but these people...

They encouraged me, thought the things I shared were worth something even when I'd feel low about my art or writing. I made friends, people I enjoy talking to which is a FEAT because my social anxiety is so bad I can barely reach out to my irls anymore.

There are people on AO3 whose comments kept me writing. There are people on tumblr who inspire me with their art every day.

Im genuinely so happy that I refound the game when I did because with it I also found community and acceptance and it changed me for the better i think.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone in the Outer Wilds fandom who has been there for me.

I love y'all and im sorry for getting so emotional on this silly lil side of mine.

<3

PS. This is the medley that made me sit down and write this btw. Give it a listen because it is BEAUTIFUL

[lilybecca1]

Hi, can I call you, Lili or Becca (or both)? I found you blog and love your BKDK metas! Thanks for sharing them.... As someone who shipped BakuDeku since 2019, you can't imagine how happy I am that at the end of BNHA, we can have so many canon moments of Bakugou and Midoriya.

See, I just got some rude message that said, "how can I ship BKDK when Kirishima have more positive relationship to Bakugou", "Izuku is not that important to Bakugou" and "Bakugou should get bad ending for all bad stuff that he did to Midoriya". Like, are we reading the same BNHA? How can you not see how special the bond between Izuku and Katsuki, right?

Sorry for this random ask. Actually, I'm kinda worried and excited for the extra 60 pages of BNHA, but how about you?

Hi there! You can call me both, I don't mind which one 😊 and thank you for reading them! I've always loved and wanted to share my thoughts and views on them and spread bkdk religion like I'm a messiah 😂 and I'm so happy to be in this community with people who see them the way I do because irl noone likes them and I can't rant to anyone about them 🤣

And yeah, I completely agree with you, like no offense to bkdk antis, but are we reading the same manga?? Like, "Kirishima and Bakugo have a better relationship", but why? Cause he took his hand that one time they saved Bakugo? Or cause he tolerates him better than anyone else? I mean yeah, they're friends, in their own way, and maybe they had a better relationship than bkdk back in the old days but the manga has come a loooong way since then. Maybe Bakugo and Midoriya's relationship was more than rocky in the beginning, and it seemed like Bakugo hated him way more than he did Kirishima, but it wasn't the whole truth and it was never about hating him. It wasn't exactly a positive relationship, which I understand why people didn't like it, but no one can disagree on the fact that they had a more special bond than with anyone else.

So okay, in the first half of the manga, you might have needed to look closer at them to see the nature of their bond, but after?? Dude, that guy sacrificed himself for Midoriya, he ran to him in the hospital, he called out to him before his death, he freaking told him he wants to be on his heels for the REST OF HIS LIFE. Like have these people only read the first half of the manga? Cause I can't imagine how they could have read the whole manga and still say that they have a bad relationship. Those people are so adamant on hating on that ship that they don't even WANT to see the positive aspects to it. It's like they chose to be a hater on Day 1 and simply refuse to change their mind and they straight up ignore all the evidence on bkdk as a whole. But then, I want to ask these people, how tf did they read the manga and watch the anime properly if they ignored 50% of it? Cause we have to admit, half of the manga is literally just about the relationship of Bakugo and Deku. So if they hate BKDK, then they must hate MHA as well, no? And if that's the case, then why are they still watching it? Why are they still watching something that they hate and then send rude comments and messages and ruin it for the people who actually like MHA and BKDK? Don't people know what "Don't like, don't read" means? Have we just forgotten about how to be respectful and how to mind our own business? Because to me it seems like they are only watching it to point out the bad stuff and then shove it in the fans' faces. Like "ha, see, I told you I was right, this ship is shit, how do you feel about yourself NOW"

And same with the fics. It's so sad to see people commenting rude things and make the author feel bad about something that they created themselves, after they put so much love and hard work into it. Those authors just wanted to share their passion and love with other people, why do haters have to ruin it for them and make them feel bad about it? They have no obligation to read it, but if they do then at least they could mind their own business and not ruin the experience for everyone else. And if they have any opinions, they can at least be respectful and keep it to themself.

And the other thing, what do they mean Bakugo should have gotten a worse ending? DUDE, he freaking DIED. How is there any worse ending for him than that?? He literally suffered the most in the whole manga, what more do people want to give to him? What, disability for the rest of his life cause he dared to hit Deku when they were children? I mean, he literally did get his hand partially torn off, plus had a disability for quite a while after that, so I'd say that was enough, his hand got enough karma. And yeah, he did tell Deku to jump, but again, he got karma for that too cause he literally died. Plus went through a ton of emotional turmoil. So people can cut him some slack I think. I also wrote about this in another post, you can check it out here if you'd like

And yeah ngl I'm a tiiiiny bit worried about those extra 60 pages. I mean Horikoshi probably won't put anything big in it, maybe just a few clarifications, but still, he COULD very well make or break bkdk. And Izuocha. Like all he needs is one extra panel to clarify that the snowfall scene with Uraraka and Deku was actually a date and boom, bye bye bkdk. Same thing vice versa. So, yeah, I'm kinda worried 😂 but I have faith in Horikoshi and I believe he's only going to clarify some confusing parts at most and reveal the ending of some of the characters that we didn't get to see, like what happened with Dabi etc. I wish he also put some extra pages on their life after Deku got the suit so we can see how Deku's life is as a part-time teacher and quirkless hero.

Hope this rant didn't turn out too long lmao. Thanks for the question tho as always 💚

[choicesficwriterscreations]

December Creator of the Month: Oh-So-Youre-a-Nerd

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is @oh-so-youre-a-nerd . We're very excited because Ascindio is our very first artist to be highlighted! We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Instagram

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? 

Ascindio 

More below...

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I started playing in 2016, I can't remember if I read Endless Summer or Rules of Engagement first, but I ended up deleting the app after like 2 weeks cause I couldn't stop buying diamonds 😅🤦

I re-downloaded it about, ohh idk 2 years ago?

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Fandom specifically on Tumblr and specifically for It Lives Within, which happened to come out right after I read the first two books 

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

I always try to seem cool and mysterious when I meet people irl, and then as soon as I open my mouth, I ruin it with some niche trivia or something, and they say,  “Oh, so you're a nerd.” 😂 Can't tell you how many times this exact phrase has been uttered to me. 

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

This is the first Choices related post I made 😂 I was just thinking about the concept of what if characters make terrible decisions cause they're controlled by a player who is out of diamonds lol I was going to do a whole series of them (next was going to be lotr “fly on eagles to mordor?” *30 diamonds* or “simply walk”) but got lazy lol

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

Only art. God, I  WISH  I wrote too. I've thought about trying cause I have so many ideas floating around in my head, but at the end of the day, I'd rather spend my free time drawing. 

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

For Choices, since early 2022

For other fandoms, since well, forever, but I only started posting around 2017/18

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Favorite Choices book is probably It Lives in the Woods. All of the characters were so interesting, I never got bored reading it, and it had an incredible twist that made sense but I still didn't see coming. 

Favorite to create for is probably Blades of Light and Shadow though because I am such a sucker for the fantasy aesthetic.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?.

This isn't the first Choices art I made, but it IS the first I actually shared

And honestly, I DO still like it because I still remember the way I felt absolutely POSSESSED while drawing it (I hadn't drawn anything for *months*). I would definitely change the background, though. Those trees look like shit, and they're not even the correct type for the kind of forest they're in. 

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

My favorite Choices art I've done is probably this piece. 

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I definitely didn't expect this one to do well at all as it was so hastily drawn

And I was sad this piece didn't get more love, it was such a dope scene and I was so excited about how the sword turned out

11- If you could only draw one style or type of art for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? 

I'm not sure if I'm interpreting the question right, but if I had to pick like a specific type of art, it would be digital, and I would want to do fan art. I have a hard time painting anything that I don't already have a deep connection with (so original art with no story behind it is usually a chore for me), and digital art is just so incredibly convenient and not messy and so so versatile. 

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Because I use fiction as a way to safely process trauma/ grief/ other big emotions, each MC I make has a small part of me, whichever part I feel the need to explore at the time.

There's an amazing quote by Patrick Rothfuss that I feel explains it perfectly. 

It's from Wise Man's Fear

“These folk knew all about death. They killed their own livestock. They died from fevers, falls, or broken bones gone sour. Death was like an unpleasant neighbor. You didn’t talk about him for fear he might hear you and decide to pay a visit.

Except for stories, of course. Tales of poisoned kings and duels and old wars were fine. They dressed death in foreign clothes and sent him far from your door. A chimney fire or the croup cough were terrifying. But Gibea’s trial or the siege of Enfast, those were different. They were like prayers, like charms muttered late at night when you were walking alone in the dark. Stories were like ha’penny amulets you bought from a peddler, just in case.”

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

I have a very difficult time making the poses seem natural and flowing. My all time favorite art is Baroque/Renaissance style and how fluid the poses are, how soft the skin looks, how delicately it's all done. Obviously, I will always have my own style, but those are things that I so want to incorporate but never seem to get quite right, and it drives me crazy 😂

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Not really. I mean, I have a ton of unfinished work, but as soon as the window of inspiration passes, I just can't get myself to care enough about it to finish it (insert Jake the Dog, “now it's gone, and I don't care about it anymore!” )

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

I would, and have.  I typically show them whatever most rendered recent picture from my Instagram because I don't post any nsfw there and usually try to post only my prettier work for this specific reason haha. (As opposed to here, I post everything here, ain't NO ONE from real life invited to see my tumblr 😂)

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

Writers: Brandon Sanderson, for sure. He's the reason I got back into art back in 2017 ish. His stories are just so emotional they push me to create. Same with @saibug1022, there is always at least one scene from every story he shares that I desperately want to draw to try to capture the emotions. 

Artists: God, sooo many, here are just like my top 3 favorites and their instagrams.

Audra Auclair

Obsessed with her unique style, and specifically the way she draws eyelids and noses

f3lc4t

The way they draw those dripping, glowing wisps. I stare at their pieces for hours (no lie) trying to dissect them stroke by stroke to figure out how they do it.

Miho Hirano

Their art has a delicate whimsy-ness I would SELL MY SOUL to achieve 

17- Which one of your creations would you like to see a fiction written about? 

JC, this is the shit I DREAM of.

Definitely this one. 

So this is love.

This little comic means a lot to me. 

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

Very rarely, but I do, every so often. This is my favorite original piece.

20-  What other hobbies do you have?

Gaming, singing, walking through the Cemetary with my wee daughter, reading, that's about it 🤷

21 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

🙇

22: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I really wanted to say that I don't believe in “good” art and “bad” art (just ethical vs non-ethical). That being said, I know what it's like to hate your art, like soooo intimately. If you ever are feeling shit about your art, you can ABSOLUTELY message me (I don't care if we're mutuals or not, I don't care if we've never interacted before) and just say, “I am feeling shit about my art” and I will go through your art and tell you every specific thing I love about it and why it's wonderful. I am not joking; I am so so serious rn. 💗💗💗💗 

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

Y'know I created this identity, I created Earthquake, so I can freely write and share my brainrot over interests that make me self-conscious, namely sickfics.

Except now Earthquake has become more than just my anonymous self, I've made friends as Earthquake, people know me as Earthquake. And I find myself self-conscious, again, when I think about sharing other niche interests outside of sickfics.

Like the whole reason I have this anonymous identity is so I can explore and write for all my niche and (as considered by some) weird interests - yet I've actually been grappling for weeks now with the idea of creating another totally anonymous online identity, for other topics outside of my sickfic content. Because my weirdly-overthinking brain says "just like the sickfic content, this won't be everybody's cup of tea. And I don't want the readers here to be uncomfortable or think differently of me as Earthquake, just like I originally didn't want my irl friends to know about my sickfic interests."

It's a long and complicated thought process and I wanted to share it with y'all. Who knows, soon I might be existing under another username somewhere else too!

Today y'all learned Earthquake is a chronic overthinker.

Also I am not going anywhere, just for the record, and if I do decide to pursue other writing projects, they will not take time away from the fics I work on here - I enjoy them too much for that!

(for clarifying purposes, because again, overthinking, these interests do not include anything unethical or just purely wrong. It's no weirder than my interest in writing sickfics, it's just. Something I worry about being judged for.)

[kpchrs]

I think between shippers (and this is me saying this, an outsider to both ships) there’s Def the nagging voice saying “Coriolanus sucks irl” in everyone’s mind

So that’s Def a part of the civility in my opinion. Like why fight when the main guy in your ship is the worst guy alive. Bonding moment IG lol

LMFAO You are so right, Anon. Bonding moment for real. As some people in the post's comment said, "we both share the toxic blond" and also "we're trauma-bonded".

But I think it's not really a nagging voice. We all know Coriolanus Snow fucking SUCKS. If you compile all of my thoughts about him from everywhere, the majority is me clowning on him actually. I want to do violence to him.

It's funny, and I'm sorry for the out of topic, but this...wish makes me fantasising about a "Coriolanus Snow & Conscience!Reader" Crack AU. I've told some of my friends but just for fun I will tell a little bit here:

Okay, the premise is right in Chapter 1, we the readers/the fans whatever you wanna call us, get inside his head and it's up to us to try to put him on a good(?) path. (Emphasis on TRY.) Or actually, it's just an excuse or catharsis for us, especially me, to clown him in his head tho, because his thoughts are so deranged, yeah? It will be fun to mock him, tease him, and "scold" him, and we will bicker a lot, and he can't do aaanything about it.

So it's like this (below has some real excerpt of Chapter 1 of the book [page 3-4] but switched to present tense):

This morning he went to her room at daybreak, only to find both his cousin and the shirt missing. Not a good sign. [...] He thinks of people putting a price on her. With her long, pointed nose and skinny body, Tigris is no great beauty, but she has a sweetness, a vulnerability that invites ab-- NOOOOOOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT YOUR OWN COUSIN?! The voice -- scream -- comes out of nowhere and echoes very near in his ears (inside him?). To say it surprises Coriolanus is an understatement. Grabbing on air, he fails to stop himself from slipping and falling on his bottom.

Lol.

I'm not sure I want to write it because writing, even more in English, is daunting, but it's really fun to think about. It will be on the Snowbaird route, though. I imagine we will follow his love story with Lucy Gray, but I think...we will unfortunately fight over her.

LOOK! At Lucy Gray's arrival, The Voice screeches annoyingly loud in his head. It's my girl! Even after weeks, Coriolanus still hasn't decided if The Voice is a crazy part of him or an entirely separate entity somehow attached to his mind. However, the possessive term it used tugs the wrong string deep in his chest. Whether it makes sense or not, he hisses at it, 'She's not your girl.' The brief silence that follows is the most peace he gets these recent days. Oh shit, you are jealous. 'I am not.' You totally are. Just like with Billy Taupe. C'mon, I'm inside your head. I know. 'I am not.' Listen, Coryo-- 'Stop calling me that.' --just accept that Lucy Gray is everyone's girl, okay? She's my girl. She's not really just yours. 'Who in the Gem of Panem is everyone? Who even are you?' I can't tell you that. It's against the rules. 'What rules?!' Uh-uh, still can't tell. Give it up already, Coryo. Coriolanus is losing his mind. He has had a talking creature inside his head for weeks and it is just now he truly feels he is losing his mind.

Lol. Writing is hard, huh. Okay, I'm not sure this is categorised as a character & reader fic now that I used third person, not second person pov, but eh xD

I'm willing to talk about it more though, if anyone is interested!

Thank you for the ask and the space to bullshit, Anon!

[zara-renata]

i have thoughts about your most recent fic and tumblr’s comment character limit has brought me to your ask box again 🙈

omgggg it’s so good to know sylus’s POV during that wine night!! and i don’t know why and how, but sylus’s thoughts about mc here, esp how he feels about her selfless tendencies (to her detriment), makes me feel vulnerable and seen. when i read reader-insert fics, i tend to imagine a separate character for mc even though it’s technically supposed to be me in my head. perhaps the character i made up resembles me (but better lmao), but different enough that she’s like an individual on her own. but when i read this fic, it’s like sylus was talking about me, as in the real me, which made me emotional. it could be that the way mc handles herself poorly in here resonates with me due to some irl stuff, but honestly it’s primarily how good you write about a character’s emotions and thoughts. it’s like the words reached across my screen and tugged at my heart. you’re such a great writer when it comes to expressing a character’s innermost thoughts. it’s like i’ve been placed inside a character’s mind to bare witness their raw self.

again, i love how your sylus x mc dynamics, at least for this series, revolve around an mc oblivious to how much sylus cares about her. it seems she doesn’t even believe she’s deserving of such affection, nor is she fitting to be the object of such primal desires. in a way, she’s kind of self-sabotaging in the sense that she thinks she doesn’t deserve kindness, help, and affection. she’s genuinely fine with taking the brunt of the pain and suffering – and not even in the hero, martyr kind of way. it seems it’s how she’s always been, such behavioral tendencies of hers seem to be as normal as the sky is blue, which is sad and concerning because she deserves so much. i’m honestly excited to see sylus try to knock down her hardened walls and have her realize how deserving she is of so many things. i hope she realizes she can relax, rest, take it easy, and feel safe. especially with him.

i actually laughed out loud about how unhinged sylus can be about his sexual desires for her. like the man is blue-balled to heck, but he isn’t the kind to succumb to his base urges. he really respects and loves mc. i think i would even say he reveres her, given the fan theories around their past. it’s like his urges are just something that come with his intense adoration and care for mc, which is so so admirable and attractive.

maybe i’m just a tad sensitive today, but i completely zeroed in on the emotional aspects of this fic – quite a difference as to how i salivated over your previous fic in your ask box LMAO. coincidence is such a funny thing because i feel like i really needed to read this fic today. i feel much better and more ready to face the day. this has been such a good read, and i humbly offer my apologies for yapping at your ask box yet again 🧎‍♀️🫣

First off, you never have to apologize for sending me your thoughts. I'm so happy every time I receive an ask, it's always an unexpected surprise. And your asks are always really thoughtful and fun to read! I wasn't just patronizing you when I said last time that it was really fun to receive such a spicy ask about the NSFW aspects of Sylus's character and dynamic with mc in these stories. A huge part of his appeal is his physicality and how he shows his affection through actions. Hot, hot, actions.

To be honest, this message from you is really reassuring, because I've noticed that a lot of the fanfic that gets a lot of traction in (any) fandom is of the NSFW variety (which, duh, I totally understand and appreciate and consume happily), and I worry that because I'm not currently focusing purely on that aspect of Sylus that people will be less interested in reading what I'm sharing, especially the installments that are so mc POV heavy. So to hear that you also like being in this mc's head, and can relate to this mc, that how I have Sylus respond to this mc's issues and hangups and trauma brings you comfort, is amazing for me as a wannabe writer. Although I also want to give you a hug (with your consent of course) if you can really relate to this mc because no one should ever have to feel what you so accurately point out about what this mc feels: that whatever pain you're experiencing is normal, and expected, and you can hardly imagine that someone would be so dedicated to helping relieve it for and with you. Because everyone deserves to feel cherished and demand more than the bare minimum from the world and the people in their life. I'm hoping that I can keep writing this story as an exploration of Sylus teaching mc that, and that you continue to derive comfort from it. Because in the end, fanfic can serve many purposes. And just like it can be a vehicle for exploring incredibly dark and disturbing and cathartic themes using our favorite characters, I think it can also be the ultimate comfort food, and sometimes you should just be able to feel fucking good reading it. I'm so happy to hear that this part did that for you. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

[touchoffleece]

Reflecting back over the last few years of AO3 and why it was made in the first place (to archive fan works) and older fanfic enjoyers trying to warn about purges of days gone by

It feels ironic that we're now experiencing a new fanfic purge in some sense. Either authors are trying to hide their works for a sense of control over unwanted AI Scalping in AO3 because of it's success as the best place for fanfiction hosting. Meaning unregistered or people not logged in won't be able to find fanfictions because they are behind a curtain now essentially "purging fics" from the public. Not that I blame any author who chooses to do this, I actually am pro authors doing what they feel they need to. I've decided to private fics because I really don't even like the idea of it possibly happening to my shoddy drabbles if it hasn't already and feeding into the misuse of AI by people looking for easy money. Or we see this other type of 'fanfiction purge'. New generation of fic readers being more demanding of free passion projects to the point of being rude, and driving the authors to stop writing, or even have authors publicly state the increase in considering just deleting their works because of the shift in attitude in what fic readers decide to comment under works. This observation made from looking at comments of newer fandoms (be it ao3 comments or social medias) and seeing more and more comments just be "update soon!" (and those comments only ask for more) or some veiled demand for more content under the guise of 'a joke demand for more'. And while there is nothing wrong with letting a author know you like the story and would like to read more, when it's just constant "more" comments with no acknowledgement of anything that goes on in the story/update it comes off as dismissive of the work someone put into an update. It sucks to see people act entitled to demand more from fanfic authors who are generally associated with distress but willing to put updating a fanfiction above irl commitments because of the love they hold for their fanwork, only to get asked for more and more. We have seen and know of the memes, but hey: fanfiction writers are humans, humans with emotional limits regardless of outlandish sounding some author's notes come off of to people without context. Entitled comments more likely then not lead to burn out, or authors just deciding to stop writing or decide to take their works down to not feel harassed by people asking for more. I really don't know many creative oriented people who take constant demands for more and more work without some type of reward well; and while some might try and ask "Aren't comments in themselves a feel good reward for the authors? Isn't that enough?" It probably depends on the author, but when the comments are just constant "more!" "I need the next update now!" ect, it doesn't give much feel good vibes after the initial "oh someone liked what I wrote" because more often then not they will wonder "I wonder what they liked about it" only to see the comments are just people rushing to order more free fanwork to be devoured as fast as possible without appreciation to what was already shared to the public for free. This has turned into a venting rant from what I originally had thought when I got the thought in my head late at night, but I do want to include that this probably can be linked back to people underappreciating or being apathetic about comparative literature, media literacy, or just appreciate taking art and doing some deep thinking on it, and it's a damn shame it seems it has lead to what feels like a new fanfiction purge in a place meant to be a safe space for fanfictions. Another example of history repeating itself because of complacency and forgetting or choosing to ignore our past mistakes.

[grumfield]

I'm not the same anon but I've recently been looking for some metas on consent in 2ha 😅. It's both for bettering my own understanding of the story through different perspectives and also for a 2ha fic i'm working on. Do you know any metas on this subject? or can you share your interpretation if that is okay with you? thanks!

I don’t know of any metas of the top of my head but I’d love to explain my own interpretation! I won’t go too much into overt spoilers but more just general vibe implications

2ha is like telling someone who’s being bit viciously by their dog that they’re a victim and while yes that’s technically true it’s then revealed that the dog has been put in a fighting pit its entire life, got a nice owner for 2 weeks, and then got put back in an even worse fighting pit where he’s horribly conditioned to exclusively bite and kill, and only 40 years later is he randomly set loose back in his nice owner’s old house.

2ha works in a way I like because the layers of who exactly is experiencing non-con (both sexual and otherwise) is a sort of little matryoshka doll reveal.

The most obvious—and one that everything revolves around—being Chu Wanning’s past life. He suffers the most straightforward abuse, he gives the most straightforward sacrifice. It’s very clear cut, and as a result you have a very comprehensive interplay of desire and fantasy. Dude essentially gets his rocks off to visions of his love interest as kindle unlimited alpha billionaire and it’s very clear that entertaining sex slave fantasy in the comfort of your own bed is not the same as experiencing IRL. Congrats Chu Wanning, you discovered BDSM scenes and submission! Surely that’s the extent of it for you and others (it’s not)

As for everyone else…

I can’t remember the exact quote but Mo Ran thinks about how as a child he was so poor that he never knew what he liked, and he didn’t actually have opinions on simple stuff like flavors or appearances or the gender of people because that was a luxury for the rich. It’s like that “maybe I would be nonbinary but I have a job” meme lmao . Wanting things, or not wanting them, or making decisions for yourself, is something that isn’t allowed for the poor. If you exist in a structure where you don’t even know what you want, you physically can’t.

Basically every other character who enacts or experiences noncon in all its strokes falls into this bucket. And it’s kind of the earliest instance we catch something explicitly laid out about consent beyond just strictly sexual, and how it very plainly lays out the definition of it as: any position where you do something you don’t want to do is noncon.

But you’re so distracted by the explicitly sexual dramatic yaoi discussions of attic wife sex dungeon noncon you don’t really give it much thought until later. But it’s crazy in retrospect because Meatbun gives us two characters who are a synthesis of these things—Rong Jiu and Song Quitong—really early on, who are both victims of poverty and as a result do and are subject to stuff that’s really terrible. Mo Ran just sucks bad and hates their guts so we’re a bit blind to it even though they came from really similar backgrounds (which kind of ties into a separate but equally interesting question Meatbun poses of if empathy and peace is something only afforded by people who are rich—Mo Ran wasn’t able to save earthworms until he was in a safe environment and had food in his belly).

The matryoshka doll goes further when we find out exactly what happened to Mo Ran, and THAT is what I love about it. That. Because very suddenly your entire idea of who the biggest victim in 2ha is goes from the very straightforward answer to one that’s significantly more complicated. Yes Chu Wanning is a victim but Mo Ran has been a victim since the moment he was born, and then in a brief heartbeat where he was allowed to grow and be kind, he was immediately subjected to the most violating horrific nightmarish thing could happen to him and dude STILL manages to hold some shred of humanity. I joke about Mo Ran being terrible and a piece of work and he is but my boy contains multitudes and he is also the nicest sweetest gentlest boy in the whole world who did nothing wrong (he did) (but also he didn’t) (but also he did) (but he—)

This plays a lot into a third character who I won’t say for spoilers but you’ll definitely know who I’m talking about if you’ve read the whole book!!

[trash-gobby]

✨🦇 Trash Gobby Intro 2.0 🦇✨

AO3: severenvansickle

Ways of Supporting me

Ko-Fi Link!!!

Redbubble: DreamScapeSev7n

Hello! I am trash_gobby, also known as trash. I kinda disappeared for a really long time from this tumblr account, only really showing up in small spurts to post or reblog stuff.

I've been dealing with a LOT of personal stuff that has made it really hard for me to keep up with this blog in general. Not for lack of desire. What's been going on in my personal life isn't really something I want to share here or anywhere regardless of my anonymity. Needless to say it's been rough and now things have really started to improve for me. I've even gotten published in an indie published anthology which was a real special thing for me.

Now I've been focusing a lot on my original works of fiction and improving things personally. I still want to post here. However, I won't be taking requests anymore and will be reformatting my content around posting only fanfics or headcanons which I will come up with. There are some stuff which people have requested in the past which I may consider working on if the mood strikes me.

A lot has changed for me in the past two years so I want to focus more on content which personally interests me right now.

There will most likely be a follow up post which goes into more detail about formatting and how things are gonna be organized once I've actually found time to devise a proper system for my old works. It might take a while though, considering I'm working full time now, and also doing a lot of important life stuff outside this blog.

Rules

1. I will DON’T encourage anyone who interacts with NSFW content who is underage.

2. Be respectful!!! No hate speech allowed (this includes anything transphobic, homophobic, transphobic, racist, fatphobic, antisemitic, ableist, Islamophobic etc.)

3. Constructive criticism is ALWAYS WELCOME!! This is a place where I want people to feel welcome to give respectful critiques of my work as I’m always trying to improve.

4. I won't be writing things from specific fandoms I've grown a certain sourness towards (usually because of the person who is in charge and not the fandom itself). I.e. Harry Potter is a bit of a sore spot for me and I have no interest in writing for it (I don't have an issue with others doing so since it's not up to me what others write and I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion and feelings about a fandom or work).

5. Relating to rule 2. - please don't bring any anti-palestinian sentiments to this space (this is not an invitation for others to be anti-Semitic so don't get things twisted. I support Judaism and the right for Jewish people to exist in peace and security within ALL countries and to be able to self determine. I think the same rights should also be extended to the Palestinian people who have been ignored by many and have had their rights and humanity stripped from them). This is not the blog of a Zionist and I would encourage others to follow or unfollow accordingly. Free Palestine 🇵🇸

✨ What I Write!!: Fluff, Headcanons, platonic/friendships, NSFW, Dating/SFW, LGBTQ+, tragedy/angst, crossover, reader x insert, character x character, mini-fics, character preferences

✨ What I WON’T write: p*dophelia, r*pe/non-con, tortue p*rn, BDSM that’s to outside of my comfort zone, b*astiality, incest, raceplay

Fun Facts About Me

1. I crochet lots of things for fun

2. I am a gender gremlin

3. My favourite all time characters are Severen (Near Dark 1987), Bishop (Aliens 1986), David (TLB 1987)

4. I am a huge A24 movie studio fan, because I am a pretentious film school graduate (I'm not a fan of Christopher Nolan or Quentin Tarantino though. Which I guess means I'm not as pretentious as I thought?? 🤔)

5. I have an AO3 account which has more stuff on it then this blog.

6. I am an aspiring author with a short story already published in a small indie press anthology (won't name here because my irl name is in the anthology). Little Ghost Books is the publisher though, and I would encourage y'all to check them out if you like 2SLGBTQIA+ horror often published indie and major horror titles. They are very worth it 💖

Masterlist for works

[redpiperfox]

was rereading rosette, and your author's note mentions that you chose specific characters for specific roles. i am VERY curious about All Of Them, i cant pick just one, so i'll leave you with the jurisdiction of choosing which ones to talk about? or you could mention all of them... haha jk unless

tldr: GIVE ME THE INSIDER INFOOOO

Just so you know how much I waffled this answer, I've currently been text-character-limit blocked on my response O.o Did not know there was a limit, but uh, I reached it trying to reply >.<

Will give you the answer over a couple of reblogs!:

I saw Rosette and my heart started racing, I clutched my pearls, I needed to sit down, I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THAT FIC ToT

I could Actually write endless essays about so many little details of that work... so much went into it, and I have to remind myself that I need to remind myself that the streets aren't aware of how Insane I am, and that is probably for the better XP

BUT YOU ASKED AND I SHALL DELIVER SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:

Hwang family: other than the obvious of all the characters featured in the extended family home 2hwang grow up in sharing the surname "Hwang," I picked dancers and the sort of connections that reflect canon. Niki looking up to Hyunjin and following in that legacy (yeah, I know he's not a "real" Hwang, but my au so I do what I want XD), SinB [Hwang Eunbi] as the kindest to them as the pioneer in 4th gen dancing gems. Also, the name Eunbi gives me mother-hen visions from my time knee-deep in Iz*one so XD

Hometown village: I had decided I needed to save all of SkzItzy for the new village they move to, which left me with the current village to fill of good friends, but not found family people. Aespa was an obvious choice as Itzy's irl friends, and I decided to dust in Enhypen members since I already had Niki. "Taeyhyung" was a generic enough name that I didn't feel like I was villainizing any particular boy group member XD Picking 2PM's Wooyoung was probably my favorite part of the hometown village-- it's been so sweet watching him be this JYP mentor figure for all of skz publically since Kingdom, and for the group personally since much before from what Chan's told us. This "respectable gentleman" figure who's removed enough from current happenings seemed to fit him really well.

Foster family: [giggles] Okay so SeungBin being siblings? Absolutely completely canon, Seungmin is such an annoying younger brother and Changbin takes the preachy protective older brother so well, and making them the first thoughtful and concerned people 2hwang meet was the perfect way to build them into the new village. I built the rest of the family around them: Chaeryeong is already Changbin's annoying baby sister confirmed XP Sunmi was easy to fit next to them, I think of Chaeryeong as sort of the next generation Sunmi performance wise, and Seungmin is always joked as being the role Sunmi was in teasing the company and JYP himself. Younghyun I knew needed to be central in someway, and as a very involved, very well known and respected idol of his generation who has so much history and present influence in the company, I put him right in the center as an older adult who makes the village feel like home.

[flora-tea]

Update [8/18/2024] Decided to update this again after a year! And still so incredibly pleasantly surprised by all the positive attention it’s gotten! Thank you all again so much!! <3

💚:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:💚

Some rambling on my aro awakening journey!

I was inspired by a poll on aro peoples' feelings on romance. This is, in a way, my long-winded indirect way of answering the poll. I apologize for the length but I hope some can possibly relate to my experience!

My being aromantic is a relatively recent realization. I’ve also found I experience feeling romance-indifferent, romance-averse, and romance-repulsed. I'm averse/repulsed in relation to myself and indifferent-to-repulsed in relation to others & fiction; it can be random or situational.

I appreciate affection & intimacy in general, including things like mutual lighthearted flirting, cuddling, lingering touches, kisses, holding hands, etc… However, if a romantic relationship or romantic attraction is the context behind such things, I may feel apathy or uncomfortable, or mixed. The discomfort is consistent when it comes to myself, but in relation to others & fiction these feelings and their levels may vary by the day or context?

Side notes: * Often, I've found my aversion/repulsion feelings are less likely to be triggered by romance if it's gay & especially if it's actively non-monogamous? So that's interesting! <3 * No gesture/act is inherently romantic. Nothing is inherently romantic; it all depends on the context and intentions of those involved. A friendship for instance can involve any act of affection or intimacy and still be platonic if those in the friendship deem it so. The intentions and communication between the people involved is the only thing that determines what things mean. This was something I learned on my journey that is very significant to me and is important to acknowledge overall! <3

💚:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:💚

For a long time, I've often felt either apathetic or weirdly uncomfy hearing folks talk about their romantic relationships, whether irl or about fictional characters. This was and still is especially felt if the people or characters are romantically engaged/married, as my mind has an especially uncomfortable relationship with marriage. I have very strong marriage repulsion.

I couldn’t define my unpleasant feelings about these things for the longest time. For so long, I wondered if it was jealousy. Yet, through all my experiences with such relationships, I found things felt pretty good and right until romantically dating/a romantic relationship was actually being established or in the conversation; I’d feel progressively detached and anxious. Still, I clinged and pushed. I wanted to be desired affectionately. I chased what I was convinced was a love and yearning for romance. But deep down, I longed for days of being close and affectionate with platonic context.

I’d think: “Maybe we moved into this too fast…”, even if years passed and things were going well. I wondered if something was wrong with me or if I "just had commitment issues".

💚:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:💚

A weird thing is (not weird in general; peoples’ feelings can be fluid/change over time!), I thought I loved romance for so long. I felt I loved the idea of romance for myself and in fiction. I even had favorite ships growing up and was a big shipper in general. Even so, looking back, the vibe I imagined was always primarily 'affectionate besties' and I often imagined the characters describing themselves as best friends and emphasis being put on their friendship, even while imagining them sharing gestures typically perceived as romantic by society. But I’d always feel progressively apathetic or averse after/if a romantic ship became canon. And when reading romantic fics (always slow-burns), I’d love it up to the point their relationship became an explicitly-stated romantic relationship; then I’d often start to feel detached. I never understood why. I was so confused at myself. It was always so strange to me how my feelings changed.

*Additionally, when it comes to fiction/media…

Characters touching foreheads, holding hands, hugging, or dancing together always made me feel so much more joyous excitement compared to (romantic) kissing scenes

I always felt notably happy and comfy if characters continued referring to each other as friends after kissing or cuddling or anything else intimate/affectionate 

I liked when characters had what people call "romantic tension" or moments but the relationship remained considered platonic or ambiguous.

The only times I've felt no discomfort in relation to the concept of marriage were if it was a mutual 'pretend marriage' trope or done for any mutually non-traditional reasons, esp if the concept was treated lightheartedly.

I often thought or felt the least about song lyrics with 'love songs', or I'd imagine the lyrics to be about best friends. (lately, I've found queerplatonic-ing/platonic-ing love songs in my head to be very comforting)

💚:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:💚

I had such strong epiphanies when I was inspired to read more about the aromantic spectrum and discovered the existence of relationship anarchy and queerplatonic relationships and tertiary attractions, and after I finally became aware of the Amatonormativity that was drilled into my mind since childhood.

I realized how amatonormative phrases like “just friends” and “more than friends” and “finding ‘the one’ someday” and so much about our language and common conversations about relationships chained relationships to a hierarchy with monogamous romance on a pedestal & continuously shoved into my brain this idea that romance was ‘the ultimate relationship’, that it was ‘the strongest/closest relationship a person could have’, that a relationship needed to be a romantic relationship for there to be intimacy and affection, that certain affectionate acts were inherently romantic, that ‘being in love’ could only happen with romantic attraction, that a romantic relationship was ‘the goal’, that having (a) partner(s) was only possible with a romantic relationship, that romance was 'the ultimate devotion'.

The amatonormativity constantly shoved onto us by society skewed my views on intimacy and relationships (and myself) for so long. To acknowledge that and contemplate on my realizations, to unlearn amatonormativity, to redefine how I thought about relationships and intimacy, and to learn about the vast diversity of feelings and relationships and possibilities that exist...it was amazing. It was liberating.

I also had a realization that brought me so much clarity: All this time, it wasn’t really romance I wanted, it wasn’t romance I loved or longed for. It was affection. It was intimacy. It was trust. It was these things, and with no romantic label chained to them.

Then, I realized I was free.

And it was so clear to me now.

What I've wanted all along is friendship. Loving, intimate, valued, lifelong friendship. 💚:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:💚

Last side notes: * My type of relationship & living situation daydream is having a home with a garden and small group of polyaffectionate friends af;sgds *dreamy sigh* Oh to live the poly queerplatonic cottagecore life...🥺 * I feel most comfy with the idea affection/intimacy in ’tertiary attraction’ contexts like platonic, queerplatonic, alterous, and nebulous/ambiguous. This has even lead to me making all my ocs the same way :3 (they've all been hit with the aro beam btw xD) With reality and fiction, the thought of intimately affectionate besties who'd confuse the heck out of much of our society brings me joy. I'd love to see more of that in the world 💚

[being-so-normal-about-reploids]

Hewwwoo again

Imma ask ya a silly question and that is what inspired ya to create the worldbuilding surrounding the Reploid language thang on ur fic? I’m pretty curious of the process behind it?

The general idea kind of came partly from 68:Hazard:Cold by Janelle Shane, which is hella good and free to read right there, and partly from secret languages and pidgins and the way language is part of identity IRL.

I got to thinking, you know, I've seen a lot of fandom takes that reploids have some way of communicating wirelessly, but like...would they actually? As computers, it makes sense, but as people, given everything that's happened with the Maverick Wars, humans are going to be very paranoid if reploids had telepathy with each other but not them. I actually don't think they'd be given a way to secretly talk to each other at way higher speed than speech. So they usually don't by default have wifi or radio or anything, unless they're in a role where an equivalent human would have something like that.

But it does make sense that they'd have some limited-scope way to communicate for repair reasons even if they couldn't speak, and so I thought, a dictionary of internal codes is a reasonable compromise, because it's not language itself. For security reasons you'd really want to limit that ability otherwise you could have viruses and such being broadcast. (Which happened anyway, it still wasn't secure enough, but in-world that was the idea initially, and it was industry standard to include. Security got better but standards are hard to change.)

There are all kinds of languages in real life like various cants and such that historically people have invented to communicate secretly but in plain sight. People always come up with something like that. You basically can't stop them. And since reploids are just people, essentially, they would absolutely have come up with some way to communicate that was specific to them, because they're basically a subculture and those are very much about social signaling via how you communicate. And as a subculture that's basically being oppressed, having some way to talk without The Man hearing you is even more important to them.

So with all that taken together, I figured, yeah no if they had any means of generating a signal at all, they'd have found a way to make it into a language, because that's literally just what people have always done.

Story-wise it's a quick and effective way to show that hey, X has actually had very little interaction with this culture that he should belong to but hasn't really been allowed to be part of. He's got the general idea on how this language works, but he's not actually very good at it, whereas everyone around him is natively proficient by this time. There's this shared identity that he should have had, but life denied it to him. It very quickly marks him as an outsider to what should have been his people in a way that's pretty realistic and relatable but also distinctly sci-fi and not-really-human, which is the exact vibe I was going for with reploids in general.

(Also also, I'm a giant fucking language nerd and I can't resist throwing in a conlang where I can get away with it.)

[acacia-may]

Let’s pour some salt together, Acacia~!/lh 💖

If it’s not too much trouble, can I ask #7 generally, #10 for Fairy Tail and Black Clover, and finally #25 for Demon Slayer?

It’s several questions and a bit all over the pl s so I hope you don’t mind… 😅

Cheers, Erika! 🥂 Thanks for the chance to get a little bit salty about so many different things! ^^

Necessary disclaimer above the cut: These are just my own personal opinions based on my personal tastes, perceptions, and feelings regarding the series, stories, and characters and their relationships. I genuinely have the utmost respect and absolutely no ill will towards anyone who has a different opinion than me. In fact, I have always said that one of the greatest things about fandom is that we can all experience and perceive these amazing stories and characters in very different ways but still love them. Even some of my dearest fandom friends enjoy different pairings than me or see our shared favorite characters in wildly different ways than I do. I personally find it very rewarding to have respectful conversations about our differences of opinion, and I hope that my opinions will also be respected. Also, I don't vibe with just mindless bashing things, so even though this is about to get very salty and a little snarky, I'll try to keep it respectful and all in good fun. I am not tagging anything and am hiding my thoughts under the cut so you all don't have to be subjected to my hot takes and "Salty Acacia," if you don't want.

MAJOR Spoilers for Demon Slayer below the cut. You've been warned.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

ATTACK ON TITAN/SNK. My sister says I need a swear jar because I can just rant for hours about how I was just so personally, viscerally disappointed with how that series ended (made all the worse because I had several years of investment in it). As a disclaimer, I still like my favorite characters and the side story "No Regrets" will always be **Chef's Kiss** but yeah...you could not pay me to watch or read it ever again.

But again, disclaimer, that's just me. It's my cousin's favorite anime of all time, and he loved the ending. Everyone's different.

As for anything else from fandoms I actually talk about...I'm not sure there is anything. Like everyone with an online presence, I have definitely been disturbed, appalled, and otherwise very upset by things I've seen on the internet, but that's what the block button is for (and I know it's all peace, love, & good vibes around here, but I block aggressively, actively, and unapologetically when the situation warrants it). As a general rule though, I try not to let what other people think get to me and ruin the things I love, and in that way, I don't think I have ever had a situation where something was just completely 100% ruined for me by a terrible fic, toxic fandom, or anon hatred ect. ect. I have certainly distanced myself from certain pairings and certain fandoms because of that, but I wouldn't say any of them have ever reached the level of "I can't stand it now." If anything, I sometimes feel a little contrary and dig my heels in on that thing in a petty revenge, "Well in that case, I'll just like this more" kind of way, if that makes sense?

All of that said, I have no patience for nasty, toxic fandom environments, and I stay away from those even if it's a media I really like i.e. you mentioned MHA in one of your salty asks...I wrote my one platonic friendship fic and got the hell outta there (nothing bad happened to me but it just wasn't worth it to take any chances). But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it in real life and sometimes talk about it with my sisters and irl friends. I just don't want to discuss it online. It's not worth the headache & drama.

I definitely get fandom fatigue sometimes where the aggressiveness and toxicity of the fans of a certain pairing or character I already don't like just intensifies my dislike for that thing. But that's really only ever happened with things I already don't like or don't have an opinion on at all, which I don't think that really fits the prompt here.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Fairy Tail: The anime-only Celestial Spirit Arc by a landslide. It was so boring and had so many pacing issues. I literally fell asleep during it and didn't even both going back. I'm also super bitter towards that arc because my sister got so bored during it that she quit the anime (right before getting the best arc Tartaros). I keep begging her to pick it up again and just skip the stupid Celestial Spirit Arc but she swears she is a completionist and would never be able to do it. So yeah. Can't stand that one! The only positive thing I could remotely say about it was that Levy on the game show was kind of entertaining, but overall the whole arc was kind of just like a boring bizarre dream I'd like to forget about.

For arcs that appeared in both the anime and manga, I really didn't like that flute arc (which a google search has informed me is actually called the "Eisenwald Arc"). I'm glad we got Gray and Erza introduced as characters, but the arc had a lot of pacing issues and just went on for way too way, imo. They could've wrapped things up a lot faster, also I just didn't get the whole "evil flute" thing--it was really random and kind of bizarre (also not the most well thought out plan in the world). I will say this arc gets more points than the Celestial Spirit Arc because my sister and I had so much fun making Kokushibo flute jokes.

Black Clover: Gotta go with the anime only arc here too because again, it was boring and didn't have a lot of bearing on the series as a whole. It also felt like a major let down after the high stakes of the Elf Arc. Honestly just not a fan of that one.

If I had to pick a manga arc...uh...I honestly don't know. Maybe the Sosshi village arc? But only because I thought it was better in the anime where they really took the time to flesh out Magna's backstory. It felt more rushed in the manga, but I don't dislike it as much as that anime only one.

If I can pick a character arc, freaking FINRAL'S!! Like what happened here?! It was so, so good...until it wasn't. I JUST CAN'T WITH THE AMOUNT OF REGRESSION. It makes me want to beat my head against the wall even more than he is! But I think this was about story arcs, not characters arc so I'll refrain from ranting here.

25. Would you change the ending of Demon Slayer?

This is kind of a complicated one. My sister and I were just talking about this because she feels there was too much character death, but I feel it was a justified and appropriate amount for the high stakes of the series (even if it was devastating). So for the sake of this discussion, let's assume that the author had a "character death quota" (or a set number of characters who were going to be killed off by the end of the series). If that was the case, I would have axed Uzui at the end of the Entertainment District Arc and saved Genya in the final arc.

If there was a believable/reasonable way that Muichiro could have gone into god-mode and defeated Kokushibo without dying, I would have saved him too, having Uzui take his "death slot." Then I would have saved Genya by having Sanemi die to protect him (which would have been a much more satisfying ending to his arc, in my opinion).

As sad as the other deaths were (*weeps about ObaMitsu*) Muichiro and Genya were children. While it's realistic for them to die, it's especially tragic, and if I got to rewrite the ending, I would prioritize saving them.

Though to be perfectly fair, I would have been much happier with the ending if Uzui had died in the Entertainment District Arc and any of our heroes who died in the final battle survived instead. I'll forever be salty that Uzui of all people somehow managed to survive to the end when so many others did not, especially since his arc had already wrapped up and him dying in the Entertainment District would have been a satisfying conclusion to his story whereas so many other characters who did get axed had storylines that felt unfinished (Genya especially).

Also, Himejima should have played the flute at Kokushibo causing him to lose his cool in the infinity castle so much faster. I'm really upset this didn't happen. (Kidding but I would’ve loved to see him just go completely unhinged over the flute. I make way too many Kokushibo flute jokes…)

[nerdacious]

So now that the fic has been finished for a bit I have some questions about the making of Partners and Paper Trails. I'm just curious about what it was like to write it (and wondering whether my experiences writing for this fandom are universal). No pressure to answer!

Generally speaking, did you find Harry's chapters or Kim's chapters harder/easier to write?

Which parts of the fic (either POV) were your favorite to write? Alternatively, which parts were unexpectedly frustrating?

From what I understand, you wrote the entire fic ahead of time and then edited it as you went along, but didn't start publishing it until the first draft was entirely finished. Do you have any advice for someone who's attempting to write a long fic following a similar process?

(as a secret fourth question, if there's any hidden lore/details that people didn't seem to pick up on/something else fic related you want to share and haven't had the opportunity to, I'm all ears. love me some secret lore 👀)

Sorry it took me so long to respond, I was working on my response instead of working and then I was like crap, I should probably do work, and then I actually went out and did stuff with people irl for once lol. So now I'm back home and can answer this!

Generally speaking, did you find Harry's chapters or Kim's chapters harder/easier to write?

There were aspects of both that were difficult. I spent a whole other fic in Kim's head so I had more practice with him, but I think Harry ended up being a little easier or at least more fun. I could break up reactions and thoughts into each of his aspects vs the solid paragraphs of Kim's chapters. You also can just do more wacky stuff with Harry and his skills. However, it was hard to remember all of the skills. Like, I did Encyclopedia so dirty. After a point I kind of just forgot about him or didn't feel like thinking up facts for him to chime in about lol

Which parts of the fic (either POV) were your favorite to write? Alternatively, which parts were unexpectedly frustrating?

My favorite thing to write is dialogue, especially when Kim and Harry are really getting into the groove of the case and when they get their little banters going. I also really like competence porn so Harry wasn't nearly as much of a mess as he could be in game. It was a bit of a wish fulfillment fic in that I wanted to see Harry doing better for himself and not just for Kim. I think directly after Martinaise he probably was doing worse than the point he's at in the start of the fic.

The hardest part was writing the case and trying not to make it too obvious (but it definitely was so I had to hope people enjoyed it regardless haha). I'd never done a mystery before so coming up with what happened and how/what they discovered was challenging. So I guess that's not really unexpectedly difficult. Writing the actual porn was unexpectedly frustrating! A majority of what I write is smut so it was like "why is this so difficult???". I had to get that last chapter perfect (I still don't think it is, but what writer ever does) because I dragged it out long enough and I didn't want to let anyone down. It's very different from what I originally had. I also had never written d/s before, thankfully my editor has experience in that realm so he had really good pointers even though it's really light in the fic lol. I still don't know how successful I was with the smut for this one.

From what I understand, you wrote the entire fic ahead of time and then edited it as you went along, but didn't start publishing it until the first draft was entirely finished. Do you have any advice for someone who's attempting to write a long fic following a similar process?

Some people can just write and post as they go, but I have way too much anxiety to start posting something that isn't finished. I also have way too much ADHD to trust that once I started something I actually would finish it. I've also seen too many fics that don't know or don't want to quit so they just keep going past the point where it would have been a good/interesting ending (not really in this fandom, I just mean in general). So, yes, I finished it, had my editor do an initial read, made some general edits based on his feedback, and then he did a more in-depth edit of the first few chapters and then I started posting them. Some chapters I added a lot more to them during this stage and some chapters stayed pretty much the same. There are a few chapters that haven't been edited because he was unexpectedly unavailable for an extended period of time and I didn't want to stop the momentum. I didn't really have a beta reader for this one, but I asked a few people to beta specific chapters. It's not something I typically would want, I'd have preferred to have a beta for all of it, but it is what it is (or was rather). So all of that is to say, you don't have to do it that way lol, but I would at least have an outline and stopping point and stick to it. And if you want a beta reader, find someone who's opinion you trust and who you can trust will be honest with you. Also don't get rid of anything entirely. If you like something, but it doesn't work, cut it and paste it in a separate document because you might find a way to bring it back or parts of it back in other places. Also make copies for version control. Once I finished it, I made a copy so if I changed something too much in the final version but didn't like it, I could either refer back to or restore parts from the original.

As for secret lore/things no one mentioned:

In the first chapter, when Mollins first flips the siren on, Harry has an adverse reaction to the sound because of his encounter with The Pigs. Then there's an Esprit De Corps check about her listening to her police shows. (Hilarious fact: I couldn't remember her real name correctly at first and before I double checked the wiki I thought it was Marine Le Pen loool)

This goes back to the first fic, but Kim bought a book on how to support someone in addiction recovery and the receipt shows he bought it when he first started as a detective with Eyes. If you take the radiation drug in the game, there's mention of Kim possibly having had a partner with addiction. Also based on his many comments on seeing officers in much worse condition and having only one partner, I'm guessing he's talking about Eyes so I went with that. I still have no idea what exactly happened with Eyes in my story, though.

Shivers helps Kim open the door to the Linnea.

The reason Johnny's body was dropped off in the Harbor is because there had been a bank robbery in Jamrock at the time and there were cops everywhere looking for anything suspicious. That's a tidbit that didn't make it into the text.

The people in Harry's Shivers check in the first part of his final POV chapter are the people that would have been targeted next.

Thanks for asking these questions, they were fun to answer!