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sgiandubh · 4 months ago

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News from Birmingham, part 3: verbatim

Verbatim means 'word for word' in Latin and it is often used in French to convey the idea something is being reported exactly as it actually happened.

Absolutely not sorry for the length, nor for the lost night spent on it.

So, here go the juiciest parts using the recording I am (for those joining in later) NOT allowed to post as is. Selection is mine and mine solely - editorial line and all the rest. Once I am done, I shall add my comments. It was hard for the girls to focus on what was being said on stage and write to me in DMs, at the same time. Recording everything was a risk, but also genius. The bits I am going to post are taken exactly as I heard them:

✔️on Blonde Bambino (yes, she elaborated and I had no idea when reporting live by proxy): '(...) and it's just amazing, he's the sweetest, sweetest thing and he looooves music. And, I feel like I succeeded being a mother purely because the other day he asked me if he could invite Kate Bush to his birthday'.

✔️on borrowed things from set: she regrets not having taken some things she liked from previous seasons. 'It's been a long time since I've borrowed anything (...). Terry gave me two nightgowns made in Season 1, she gave me one that was never used. And then she promised me a lot of things (...).' Wanted to 'borrow' something from her own surgery.

✔️on her involvement with the Blankfaces fashion label-cum- homeless charity in GLA: 'oh, that is Gerry who runs that, he is a friend of my husband's and he is just this amazing person who does grassroots organizing, you know, Blankfaces he's been doing for a long time. And I just met Gerry, you know, socially, and then I thought what he was doing was amazing, and I also found the clothes amazing and so I just bought them.' Further explains what Blankfaces does, the shop, the stories, including the food kitchen, but denies a more active involvement with the project/brand. 'I was just the other day at Hozier (...),he is amazing [cooing, booing] and I'm just paraphrasing from Andrew, and Andrew said this amazing thing, which was how we all want to be part of big things, right, you know to be a part of those things that would change the world, and all of that, but it's actually the small little things you do every single day, in your community, that have the biggest impact. (...) But you can buy their stuff online.'

✔️on producing a future movie based on Book Ten: 'I would not be in those competitions with Starz.'

✔️on her resemblance with Claire (oh dear God, not that question again!): 'As a kid, I was definitely not obedient, definitely not quiet and definitely not tidy, but as an adult, I ended up being more organized than I've ever thought I would be in my life (...) shocking (...). The world has changed crazy, (...) I used to talk to people and have opinions on things, but now it feels like a cesspool (...). I miss that space for conversation.'

✔️on 'Erself and the end of Outlander: 'well Diana came to visit, I actually don't know when it was, not that long ago, she came on set, sheeee... ugh, you'd have to forgive me, it was last season, it was so long ago, I can't remember what is what and I have to remember if she wrote something last season (...). Diana, she's created this world (...), she watches everything (...). But she's also allowed us to sort of make her characters our own and she's given us her blessing to do that, which has been amazing. And she still won't tell us the ending. [Voice in public: Sam knows!] Sammy... Sam THINKS he knows.'

✔️on the public impact of OL's Season 1 and sudden fame: 'I got this job so last minute, I was living in the US and I knew it was a US series that we're gonna be filming in the UK. And I read the first book so I was like, OMG sounds like an amazing show to film. But then I went from being cast to being in Scotland in one week. And then you're just like, you're working for 85, 90 hours a week. I didn't know who I was, where I was, what was going on. (...) and we went to Comic Con (...), I mean that whole year was a blur, an amazing blur, but a blur.' Had no expectations about what the show would become, it's now broadcast in 87 countries, 'it's insane, it's amazing'. Being able to be successful after 10 years is 'amazing'.

✔️on what she will miss most about Scotland or is she planning to stay in Scotland after OL is over: 'that's the million dollars question, I don't know. I mean, I think I'll... my husband is Scottish, so I think we'll always have something there, his parents both live there, so you know, we're not never going to be there at some point, but I don't know what is gonna happen after, but I am very, I feel, yeah, I feel like it's gonna be so sad not to... you know for 11 years, no matter like if we're gonna back in the United States or to London for a while we've always known we'd be back to Scotland at some point and be there for 10 or 11 months and so now I don't know, I don't know what the future holds, so....'

✔️on her and Tony sharing the same musical tastes: ' do Sam and I share the same music [Steve immediately BARKS: 'no, Tony, your real husband!'] Tony? Yes. Sam - no.'

✔️Sam's whisky or Graham's bourbon? 'Sam's whisky. I haven't tasted the bourbon, but bourbon is too sweet'.

✔️speaking about Steve - 'he's so mean'. In jest (?).

✔️her favorite part of making her own gin: 'tasting (...), trusting your senses'. The distillery changed, from the first to the second batch - the product's taste changed, a learning curve. They wanted to make sure it's still the same product.

✔️on regretting she did not start acting ten years earlier - mentioned not being ready for the responsibility of shooting 14, 16 hours a day, no sick days, etc: 'it's like a beast'. She felt OL came at the right time, was 'prepared and ready to be there' and eager to be given 'a shot (...): whatever you throw at me, I'll do it'. 'And I think for Sam was the same.'

✔️on memorable OL sets/places: Craigh Na Dun stones. 'The new place where we are, really cool. (....) Amazing stately homes like Hopetoun'. It's 'amazing.'

✔️on another parts in movies - she looks forward for 'good writing' and 'the character to speak' to her, in a new project, the people she will work with... Cliche AF. The Cut and The Amateur roles are 'not huge', the last she clearly said it was a small role, 'it's not my film, it's someone else's film'. She 'did not want to be working all the time, obviously with a small child'. Defined The Cut's plot as 'bizarre', and The Amateur as 'funny'. Loves her job, is happy with it.

✔️last question was asked by a French woman with a very thick accent, about traveling and learning things out of it - C. considers herself very lucky to have been able to travel all around the world as a model. Traveling taught her empathy, how to get over our very Christian centric view of the world. Mentions growing up in 'a very small village in Ireland, that was pretty much, you know, one church, one tiny school and one shop'. Her parents 'instilled a love of reading and learning'. Then she left Ireland to live in France and Japan, and traveled to Nepal. Nepal :'the trip that changed me and changed my life, because I was like seeing a completely different culture that had no correlation to anything that I grew up with, but it was the most beautiful spiritual awakening I guess I've ever had. (...) By traveling and by eating different foods and trying to speak other languages, which I try to do and I apologize to everybody because I try and speak your language, too, because I think (...) it's important to try and connect, because we expect people to come here and do that and it's so rude we don't go and do the same [ applause].' Being able to travel allows us to see how different and how similar we are'.

Ended with a huge thank you to fans, it's been so long that I wasn't attending a convention, 'but it meant the world to me to meet you all again, seen so many familiar faces, it feels so weird to be at the end of this show, because it has meant so much to me (...). Will see you all again soon.'

***

And now, for my comments and findings. Almost point by point:

Kate Bush, LOL (we'll never agree, C and I, on this one; but I can almost imagine Blonde Bambino cooing this - awww):

youtube

So, she basically repeated the same anecdote as last year, during promo. From Sade to Kate Bush, and hey, what about that birthday - 'the other day'? But let's not be nitpicky.

'Gerry' actually is Gerard McKenzie Govan, one of the three Directors and the founder of The Blankfaces CIC, a Community Interest Company (regular company with an increased social responsibility twist and, as such, heavily subsidized by the local authorities, too). More on him, here, for those who really want to know about him: https://www.glasgowwestendtoday.scot/magazine/the-man-behind-the-blankfaces-1391/. But that is not the most juicy part, actually - some blatant inconsistencies are. Like 'Gerry' being a friend of Nameless Husband's, but still she met him socially (huh? I thought he was a friend of Nameless Husband, hence a family acquaintance?). Also, C doesn't know shite about The Blankfaces, but still bravely fills in those blanks, like when she tells us fans Gerry has been doing Blankfaces 'for a long time'. The UK competent public authority, Companies House, says something very different and I can prove that the CIC was registered in 2018. Which is not really a long time at all:

'March 6, 2018 - Incorporation of a Community Interest Company' - see above. It also doesn't seem to be very well managed, at all:

Both its yearly accounts and its confirmation statement are long overdue (since 2023, in fact). The CIC is, actually, subject of an 'active proposal to strike off', which means it will be closed/dissolved, and rather sooner than later:

In their case, I suspect a compulsory strike-off, issued by the Companies House register. Fits with the legal criteria:

In a nutshell: because The Blankfaces failed to file its annual accounts and confirmation statement AND because it did not answer to the Companies House's two kind reminder letters, it will be forcibly dissolved in less than two months from now and there is NO going back on that decision, according to UK law.

Wouldn't C know about her Nameless Husband's Friend huge problems? I mean, how more tone-deaf and disconnected can you be, promoting a clinically dead business and inviting people to buy their clothes from their online shop?

Unless... Yeah, unless - but oooh, stupid shippers, slap a shipper, etc.

[Source: Moore and Stoke, an insolvency practitioners' firm based in Stoke-on Trent, UK - simply because they had the simplest and most recent legal explanation, see here: https://www.moorestoke.co.uk/active-proposal-to-strike-off/].

Compared to that, the fact that Tracula was nowhere to be seen at the recent Andrew Hozier-Byrne's concert in GLA is really peanuts. This is serious, legal stuff and please don't give me the 'she's an artist, she doesn't know shit about business' lame excuse. She is also a businesswoman, with her own spirits brand and several other companies, at least in the UK, Ireland and the US. Give me a break, #IYKYK.

Can't wait to be done with OL. Even the thought of a future movie based on Book Ten makes her cringe. Felt it in her voice and it was enough.

World feels like a cesspool? Why on Earth? She is a beautiful, successful and accomplished woman, with her own family and free from want. A cesspool is a very strong and strange word, in this apparent context. Unless.. but yeah, stupid shipper, slap a shipper. Missing conversations, expressing her opinion.... Not even LOL. It made me feel sad. Everything that happened to them since 2016 must be such a burden.

Sammy. SAMMY? Whoa, girl! Merci beaucoup, vraiment. Term of endearment, anyone? Compare with the stiff dead 'my husband' - again, the difference between a teddy bear and a guillotine is transparent in her voice. Also, DG - a difficult topic for her. She doesn't like 'Erself much and I think we all know why.

You tell me about 87 countries, Ma'am. I experience it every day, from the sidelines, so I can easily imagine what the impact could be for you. OL, that blessing and that curse. Also, when she is fed up with prodding and unwilling to kiss arses, she'd quip something along the lines of 'amazing' and be done with it.

Bonnie Scotland and the Day After. Another great moment of 'what the hell ever, just say anything'. Also, Caitriona Mary is a terrible, terrible liar - just like Sam Roland, you know. Her answer came out as incoherent and borderline illogical. Look at this: ' I mean, I think I'll… my husband is Scottish' - the 'I'll' part was her spontaneous starting to answer, about herself, but then inhibition kicked in and shit, she remembered she is married and had to somehow insert Tracula and both his parents (alive, just to make sure). Also, excuse me, hellooo: 'I think we'll always have something there'. Sounds like a flat, more like a pied-à-terre, but lo and behold, she suggests life is going to be elsewhere. What about that pharaonic McMansion, we so passionately followed the painstaking refurbishment of, double glazing included and borderline scandalizing the local heritage protection NGOs in the process? That doesn't really sound like 'something there', does it? That Bear Grylls flat looked more like 'something there', so where's the catch-22, here? What if I was right about McMansion being a fixer-upper she never planned to live in (where, oh where does The Happy Couple live? ooooh, ROFLMAO)? What if I was right about some other thoughts I am not ready to discuss yet? Questions, questions. And yes, London. IYKYK and very different from the emotional, savant blur. Also, for a very organized grown-up woman (her own words, see above), not knowing what the future holds... I mean I get it, but how peculiar, isn't it? Drawing a line, that question unsettled her. She was not planning to answer. She ended with a joke on not being able to see 'that yellow thing in the sky for five months in a row'. Get me out of this question and quick.

The music tastes' question was very clearly audible, even from the back of the room and I had zero trouble to distinctly hear it - it was also asked in a posh & polite British accent, so that helped a LOT: ' do you and Tony share the same music tastes?' The Freudian slip is simply inexplicable. Also, she answered Tony, not 'my husband' : Tony+ my husband in the same phrase is something beyond her strength. But why answer about S at all, that was NOT the question? Why? There are limits to dumbfuckery, after all. Also, Steve is such a pain in the arse. Who, in your mind and heart, is the real husband, C?

Whisky vs. Bourbon, she mumbled her answer, very uneasy, had to listen three times to untangle it. The Soup Nazi had to step in and bark the answer, train station megaphone style, for everyone to hear and get the memo. Now I understand why. And you should, too.

'He's so mean'. Definitely not in jest. Steve, that is. Fire that dick. Plus, later on, she quipped to him: 'you have the reputation of being like a strict schoolmaster'. Answer: 'maybe I am'. A cara nem treme, like they say in Brazil.

In that gin question, the Stan dutifully mentioned Tony (arse kissers, ALL OF THEM) - she could have mentioned him openly, she had a boulevard in front of her. But nope, she came back to mainly mentioning her own experience and a very vague 'we'.

'And I think Sam was the same' - conversations were had early on. In Central Park, London. And then things went very fast, as it sometimes happens. Sharing takes things on a very different level. I think this is exactly what happened to them.

Memorable places: they both are very moved by Craigh Na Dun, and it's absolutely normal. And Hopetoun - LOL, hello, of course ('The Door Faces North', pun totally intended).

Next two movies: so long for her Stans' delusions she was given a main role. She wrapped deception with grace and hid behind being a mom. ALL THE ANTI BLOGS WERE EERILY SILENT ABOUT THIS. I wonder why. Actually no, I don't. But sure, shippers twist things, shippers hide things. No shame, those people.

The last question, on travel, was my favorite one. I think it was perhaps the only time she felt able to fully express what she meant and wanted to. Many will jump on that Nepal reference and it is correct, but to me, on a very personal level, it spoke in many, many other ways. This is the C I have managed to embrace, reluctantly at first (I admit) and like a LOT. This is the witty girl I thought I have lost forever in that sea of painful innuendos, stupid Stans ass-kissing and blurring everything in the process, plus a Nazi minder on top. Fire that dick. Seriously. He wanted to end on a 'funny' Kumbaya note - she subtly managed to break free. Thank you, C. Seriously. The wonder you are and completely unaware of it. And the things you can do with words, if only you'd dare play with them some more.

Her tone at the end was emotional. Very. It was the same tone as for that 'partner everyday' gala speech. Oh, the things she wanted to tell all of us. And if we only knew. But hey, she promised we will meet again, soon. Perhaps in Paris? I'll gladly speak to you. In French.

youtube

A HUGE thank you. Both of you. I love you, girls.

#fandom #shitshow #Starfury Highlanders 7 2024 #verbatim #Youtube

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lareynaderucorazon · 6 months ago

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Sol x Reader, long post, Minors DNI

"I'm home"

You call out as you take off your shoes. Not even a moment later Sol greets you with a kiss.

"Hi babe, how was your day?"

"Mm nothing special. How was work?"

"Ugh don't even get me started. This new hire, Kevin." You rolled your eyes at the thought of that man.

"But I'm home here with you now so all of that doesn't matter." You put your shoes up and follow your wife into the kitchen.

"Endonde esta Sebastian?"

"He's upstairs finishing his homework."

"Hmm my baby's so studious."

Sol stands over the stove in his frilly green apron. You hug him from behind and peek over his shoulder.

"What gourmet dish did you cook up for us today?"

"Well you've been craving shrimp pasta so I made shrimp fettuccini and some garlic toast."

"So that was the heavenly smell I smelled as soon ans I walked through the door."

Sol slightly blushed. He knew he was married to the love of his life for seven years now but he still couldn't get over how she complemented his cooking. He felt a little embarrassed being put on the spot but, nonetheless, pride swelled in his heart at how he's able to take care of his wife.

"Dinner's ready."

"I'll go get Sebastian."

You walked away but not before you slyly groped his ass cheek. Sol's face turned red and he covered his ass with his hands before turning to softly glare at you. You only sent him a kiss before laughing and walking away.

As you walked up the stairs you could hear faint piano music coming from your son's room. You knocked and waited for him to say come in before you opened the door.

Your son looked up at you, tearing his attention away from his homework.

"Oh hey mom, when did you get back from work?"

"Just right now. I came to get you for dinner, dad made pasta."

"I'll be right there, I'm just trying to finish this last question but I can't get past it."

"Oh what class is it for?"

"Spanish."

"Hm let me see it."

Question: Maria compro ocho frutas. Tres naranjas, dos pinas, una sandia, y dos manzanas. Cada naranja cuesta veinte y ocho pesos y cuarenta y uno centavos. Cada pina cuesta cincuenta pesos y setenta y tres centavos. Una sandia cuesta sesenta y nueve pesos y ochenta y cinco centavos. Cada manzana cuesta veinte y tres pesos y sesenta y ocho centavos. Cuanto pago Maria en dollares?

"Ok wow, that's a lot of information."

"I know right."

"Ok so lets break it down in English first. The problem say, follow along with me, Maria bought 8 fruits. Write down the numbers on top of the words so you can visualize it better. Ok, she bought 3 oranges, 2 pineapples, one watermelon, and 2 apples. Each orange costs 28 pesos and 41 cents, Each pineapple costs 50 pesos and 73 cents. One watermelon costs 79 pesos and 85 cents. Each apple costs 23 pesos and 78 cents. Did you get all that?"

"Yeah."

"Is it easier to see all the numbers written down?"

"A lot easier."

"Now remember its asking for the total in dollars and they gave us the amounts is pesos. So add all of the numbers up and then we are gonna convert the total amount into dollars."

"But how are we going to do that if the teacher didn't give us the conversion rate?"

"The internet my son. What's the total amount?"

"314.1 pesos"

"Now, looking it up on yoogle, you get 1 dollar per every 16.91 pesos. So, you divide the total amount by 16.91 and then you get your answer, which is?"

"18.6 dollars!"

"That's my boy, now let's go down and eat dinner before it gets cold."

You and your son head down to the dinner table where your husband was patiently waiting for you to.

"What took so long?"

"Homework." You and your son said simultaneously. You both laughed before all three of you started to dig in.

🤎timeskip cuz im lazy + smut🤎

Your husband was now washing the dishes as you boxed up the leftovers for your lunch tomorrow. As soon you as you were done with that you were right back onto clinging to your husband. You started trailing kisses up and down his neck, leaving hickies in certain areas. Sol started to groan as you were caressing his hips, occasionally trailing over his hard on before going under his shirt to play with his nipples.

"Mmf."

You leaned into his ear while groping his bulge.

"Shh baby."

"Wha-haa. What abous Sebastian?"

"Taking a shower. Now let me take care of my sexy husband."

You decided you were done with the teasing, so your hands finally found their way under Sol's waistband and at the base of his cock.

"Hm? What's this? Basketball shorts and no draws? You wanted this to happen didn't you? You were fantasizing about this all day weren't you?"

You teased your husband, both with your words and with your hands, slowly traversing up and down his length while occasionally flicking his head.

"Tha-hah. That's not... true."

"It's not? You don't want this? Should I stop?"

"No! No please keep going." Sol could feel you smirk against his shoulder which caused shivers to run down his spine.

"That's my pretty husband. Look at your pretty pink cock in your wife's hands. You love this don't you?"

"Yess!"

"Sh!" You tugged on his dick a little harsher which caused him to bend over and for him to almost drop a plate.

You heard the water turn off upstairs so you knew you had to finish him off quick. You let go of Sol's dick which caused him to whine. You grabbed his hips before harshly turning him around and getting on your knees. Sol's breath hitched in his throat when he felt your warm wet mouth take him all in. He gripped onto the sink as you practically sucked the soul out of him.

"Y/nn. Fuck."

You knew he was about to come so you quickened your pace and started fondling his balls.

Sol's release came quick and powerfully. His eyes rolled to the back of his head while his body involuntarily jerked itself further into his wife's mouth. His hips sputtered for a few seconds before they eventually stopped.

Sol's body fell flaccid against the counter, so you picked up his shorts and gave him a kiss.

"Thanks for desert honey. Why don't you go get ready for bed while I finish up the rest of these dishes."

Sol could only nod and wobble away, the high still heavily weighing on his mind.

Finishing the dishes only took 10 minutes, and once you were done you walked up to your son's room to wish him goodnight. He looked around, trying to spot Sol.

"Where's dad?"

"Oh, he went to bed early. He was really tired today."

"Hm ok. Goodnight mom."

"Goodnight sweetie."

You turned off his lights and left your son's room. You walked down to the opposite end of the hallway to enter your room where you found Sol laying on the bed, staring up into the ceiling. He greeted you with a warm smile and love filled eyes. You smirked while closing and locking the door. You stripped out of your clothes and you could see excitement spark into your husband's eyes.

"Ready for round two?"

Sol belongs to @fantasia-kitt

#sol brugmansia #solivan brugmansia #tkatb vn #yandere smut #yandere imagines #x reader #the kid at the back #soft yandere #the kid at the back vn

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sea-salted-wolverine · 8 months ago

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In honor of the moose/Iditarod rule 34 chaos post reaching 1000 notes and then Dallas Seavy winning the Iditarod here are all the unhinged stories and things I know about that race

They changed the rules and schedules so you can't do this anymore, but there was a subset of mushers who would race the Yukon Quest and the Iditarod back to back. That's a 1000-mile race followed by another 1000-mile race through some of the harshest terrain on earth in late winter. And the Yukon quest doesn't even finish where the Iditarod starts. To do this required putting dogs in a plane OR having another team of dogs waiting in anchorage and someone to deal with both teams of dogs.

The first woman to win the Iditarod was Libby Riddles in 1985.

Only to have her finish promptly blown out of the water by Susan Butcher who won the race in 86', 87', 88', and 90' while setting speed records the whole way.

Susan did race in 85' but she ran into a moose early and it killed two of her dogs and hurt the rest so she scratched. Dallas got lucky this year.

She was also the first person to mush a dog team up to the summit of Denali, the tallest mountain in North America. This is not what dog teams are intended to do, I don't know why she even wanted to, other than to prove it was possible. I don't think anyone has since.

The race now requires GPS trackers on all the racers and you would not believe the bitchfit everyone threw over those. Mushers can either hop between checkpoints or camp on the trail and it may surprise you to learn that these are the kind of people who have secret camp spots in the woods that they don't want anyone to know about. So now, everyone has acquiesced to the tracker requirement but you must have an account on the race website if you want to see them.

The race has 2 paths that alternate even and odd years with different checkpoints but every year includes a section of race that crosses the sea ice, approximately 50 miles from Shaktoolik to Koyuk. so forget landmarks. point the sled north and hope you're going the right way.

the race is in honor of the 1925 Serum Run and the diphtheria outbreak, but the trail itself is the old freight route which is almost twice the length. also, it's a freight route for hauling freight which means the the racers are going at more or less lightspeed as compared to the intended use.

the most effective way to avoid frostbite on your face is a fur hood and duct tape on your cheeks and nose. Cold-related injuries are rare but far from unheard of. The average number of toes and fingertips among mushers is lower than that of the general population.

The finish line is a massive burled arch in the middle of main street in Nome. There is not a lot going on in Nome at any given time and this time of year is the exception. Every racer who finishes the race gets the same reception, which is everyone in town crowding into the finish chute to cheer them on and the city fire siren going off. The last racer in gets the Red Lantern Award which means that they finished dead last but didn't scratch.

the 2020 race had started and was fully underway when the pandemic lockdowns came into place. as far as social distancing goes, you really can't do much better than being isolated 100 miles into the middle of frozen nowhere but the checkpoints are itty bitty villages with no medical infrastructure and the finish was reportedly terrifying because instead of a crowd to cheer at the burled arch, it was just the siren going off in a ghost town.

there is no way I can tell this story that doesn't sound like I'm making it up as I go. The sign says no sniveling and they fucking mean it.

no really, click that link. here's the YouTube vid (non-graphic, after-the-fact interviews)

#from the far north #wolverine warbles #iditarod #dog mushing #alaska

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manifestingenius · 9 months ago

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Why it's important not to always rely on void and putting your life on hold.

I haven't written posts for a very long time because I decided to focus on my present life. But I wanted to write this specific post.

After knowing about the void state I put my life on hold so much. I stopped doing 85% of the things I was doing before I learned about the void. It's embarrassing how I stopped caring about everything and was hoping and telling myself that I'm gonna enter the void this week anyway. Nothing really matters, right? I didn't answer to any of my seminars and colloquiums and barely studied for exams which lead me to losing my scholarship. I cried so so hard because I was angry at myself. I thought that I would enter the void in the summer so the exams and the results didn't matter to me. But I was so broken afterwards.

I never bought myself the things I wanted because I thought "I'm gonna manifest it all for free in the void anyway, why bother now?". I never went to places I wanted because I thought "I will have a lot of money to afford everything I want so why bother now?". I put all my focus and time on reading about void, reading posts on tumblr, trying all the methods and just hoping.

I planned to put videos on Youtube but was so shy and every day I was improving all the skills that were needed for me to be successful. I read a lot, I watched a lot of self improvement content, I watched lots of law of assumption videos, I took classes, in other words I was passionate. I was living. I put everything aside and became so lazy "Why even waste time doing all of this when I can have it all after the void?".

I stopped even trying to improve myself because I thought that I'm gonna manifest being my best self anyway. I was eating fast food 3-4 times a week and gained a lot of weight which made me insecure even more but I consoled myself that it's only for now, that I'm gonna manifest my dream body and everything will be fine.

I wanted to buy some makeup but didn't. I wanted to get laser hair removal for a long time and didn't. I wanted to hit the gym and didn't. I wanted to draw and make money out of it and didn't. And so much more. I missed out on so much and I regret it.

After I lost my scholarship I realized that I messed up a lot. Now I have some problems with a subject I failed and my mom has to pay money so that I can take the classes again. Now I can't afford anything because I don't have my own money, I can't go to work, my parents give me some money but it's not enough for my needs and wants.

I realized that my life became so miserable. 2023 was so wasted. One day I was asked what did I learn from 2023 and I couldn't answer because I didn't know. In 2023 I have only degraded tbh.

The saddest thing is that I was warned. I was warned by other people on tumblr to not put void on the pedestal and to not put my life on the hold. I ignored them all thinking that I'm not gonna be like them, I'm not gonna struggle as long as them. It's gonna take me much less time and everything will be fine. But turns out they were right and I made many mistakes. Turns out I'm still on my void journey even after 1 year and 2 months. I really thought it's gonna take me 1 month or smth. Funny.

After realizing that I need to change my life, I put void aside and focused on the present. I bought some things I wanted and I don't waste money on fast food anymore, I went to the gym, I finally got laser hair removal, I started eating healthier and lost 3 kg, I returned to watching self improvement videos on youtube and now I plan to draw and sell my drawings to make more money. I worked hard to pass all my exams successfully so that I can get my scholarship back.

From the outside it may seem that I forgot about the void or even lost hope but I didn't and I never will. I believe and know that one day I will become a success story myself. I even have a new upcoming post about my mini success (?) not sure if I can call it success yet 🤭

But anyway if you read all of this thank you. If my situation resonates with you I hope it helps you to not make these mistakes like I did and to not put your life on hold. Enjoy the present as much as you can, don't purposely make your life even more miserable. I love you all🫂💕🫶

#void state #the void state #i am state #law of assumption #loassumption #voidstate

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wandafiction · 4 months ago

Text

Control - Just Us Chapter 86

Warnings 18+: Smut, Fingering (Reader Receiving), Oral (Reader Receiving), Praise, Aftercare

Word Count: 6528

Series List | Chapter 85 | Chapter 87

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(Y/n PoV)

"Y/n." I'm woken by the gentle murmur of my name from beside me, but when I open my eyes to see what is going on I can't see a thing.

The room is still wrapped in a blanket of darkness, the only light in the room is from the moon light that is sneaking past the cracks in the curtains. Wanda's body is half on top of mine once again, her torso half on mine and half on the bed. Her left leg is curled over my leg and it comes to rest in the gap between my legs. My name falls from her lips again and her body presses itself more against mine.

I bend my left arm which is under her body so I can gently scratch up and down her clothed back, hoping it will help settle her back down. It does the complete opposite though and her back arches slightly, her body pushing against mine more as her hips roll against my left side. My name comes out more like a moan when her hips roll against me again before stilling.

"Fuck...Y/n." Her left hand balls into a fist grabbing at my shirt as I feel her leg tense against mine as her thighs try and close together.

Oh, she's having a sex dream.

I keep up my movements of dragging my nails up and down her spine, her body reacting in a heavenly way as her hips once again grind against my side. Her back arches more as another moan spills out of her mouth. I don't want to wake her because she seems to be having a good time, but to say it wasn't making me hot and bothered would be a lie.

I bring my right hand up to hers that is still holding on tightly to my shirt, dragging my nails up and down her bare arm and smirk as her body shivers and goosebumps grow on her skin. Her hips roll once more as her head tilts backwards, a moan echoing around the room. I gently pull her body up more so her head is now in the crook of my neck as she moans once again and her hips rest against the top of my thigh. Her hips roll once again and I feel Wanda’s arousal start to soak through my thin sleep shorts.

"Oh, fuck." She suddenly takes a sharp breath, and I feel her move her head to look around.

"Well hello princess." She groans into my neck pretending to have been woken up by my voice. "Are you okay? You were moving a lot in your sleep."

"Yeah, I uhm." I feel her try to shift her leg off of me but my hands move down to grip her hips and I feel a small moan vibrate against my neck. "Just a weird dream."

"Weird dream you say?" She nods against my neck, as her hand finally relaxes and let's go of my shirt. "Well you were making lots of noise."

"Was I?" She tries to keep the innocence in her voice.

"Yeah, heard my name a couple of times." I feel her face heat up against my neck indicating she is blushing. "I also think you soaked through your shorts because I definitely have a stain on mine too. So I don't believe it was a weird dream at all."

"No?" I smirk at her acting coy.

"No, not at all." I use my hands that are on her hip to pull her body onto mine so she is straddling me. I move my hands down to her butt and give both cheeks a gentle squeeze and she moans into my neck as her hips roll against my abdomen.

"Fuck Y/n." I squeeze her butt again and her hips rut against me more firmly this time and her back arches causing her body to push against mine. "You drive me wild."

"Tell me." I tilt my head so my mouth is directly against her ear. "What was I doing in your dream?"

"Fucking me." I let out a small laugh into her ear as her hips start to roll against my body without any encouragement from me.

"Oh I know that." I bring my right hand up to her jaw roughly grabbing it to turn her head and smile at the pure bliss I can just make out in the still very dark room. "How was a fucking you? Where was a fucking you?"

"Fuck, I'm so close." I raise an eyebrow in surprise as her hips pick up speed and she presses her mouth against my neck to muffle a moan.

"Your dream really got you worked up, huh."

"Fuck yes..yes...baby I'm going to cum." Wanda pushes her body up, her hands on my torso as she moves to sit up more. I move my hand out to the bedside table, turning the lamp on so I can see her.

"There's my baby girl." My hands find home back on her hips as she looks down at me, her face framed with her red hair. Her pupils are blown with lust, her bottom lip between her teeth as she tries to conceal her moan all while she sinks her hips against me more as her back arches.

"I need you, to, uhm." Her eyes close as her hips jutter against my abdomen for a second when I push my body in the air matching her thrusts as her hips slide along me.

"What do you need from me?"

"Fingers."

"Well you need to be a good girl and answer my other questions." Wanda groans, her body collapsing against mine as I force her hips down stopping all her movements, her head coming to rest on the crook of my neck.

"Please baby, I was so close." I grab onto her hand that's resting on my chest slowly dragging it down my body, when Wanda's head moves to look down at me with a questioning look all I do is smirk.

"Answer my questions while you get me off, then you can get off." Wanda whimpers at the thought but a small gasp leaves her lips when I put her hand under my shorts, to cup my wet core. I wasn't joking when I said watching Wanda was arousing.

"What we're your questions again?" She smirks at me as she starts to rub gentle circles on my clit teasingly.

"What was happening in your dream princess that got you so worked up?" Wanda hums against my neck as she moves her fingers down to my entrance, inserting one slowly.

"You were having your way with me in your penthouse. First in the elevator on the way up." Her lips move up to my ear moaning at the same time as me, as she adds another finger.

"We need to stay quiet, babygirl." She nods into my neck as she hums into it when I roll my hips in time with her thrusts."Keep going baby, you're doing so well for me." My hand moves to the back of her neck to pull her up more so I can muffle my moans into her neck, as she starts to thrust her fingers in a little faster.

"Then you pinned me up against the wall, using that perfect mouth of yours to bring me so much pleasure. Twice. We moved into the kitchen where you had your way with me bent over the edge of the island." I moan into her neck at her sultry tone as she curls her fingers and nibbles my ear now pushing her thumb gently against my clit rolling over it slowly.

"You then told me to wait by the bay doors that lead onto the terrace, I couldn't keep it in while I waited and you caught me with my hands where they should not be. You pulled my hand away denying me a blissful orgasm instead turning me around and pushing my front against the glass. The glass was so cold yet felt so good against my naked body."

She slowly adds a third finger and I push my head further against her neck to hide the moan at the stretch, my teeth biting at her skin for a second, but don't hard enough to leave a mark. Wanda moans into my neck at the small bite, her fingers stopping momentarily before she starts thrusting in rougher and quicker than before. Her and my body are rocking together at the force of her thrusts as her thumb continues to tease my pulsing bud.

"You being such a good girl for me…..fuck." My eyes roll to the back of my head as she twists her hands pushing her fingers in at her different angle as her fingers keep curling and I can feel my walls starting to clench around her fingers. "Keep going babygirl, I'm so close."

"I didn't even have time to think before you were fucking into me hard and fast with a strap." She licks my ear lobe as she continues to tell me about her dream. "I will let you into a little secret, this strap was bigger than the one we use now and my god did it hit all the right spots. I made a mess of my thighs, even got some on the glass with how hard you were ousting me against it as you railed into me making me feel so good. You always feel so good."

At her final words my back arches upwards and my grip on her neck tightens and I pull her head down into my neck as my moans vibrate against her skin. Her fingers continue to move in me as my walls flutter around them, helping me through my high. I gasp when she pulls her hand away, sitting up on my hips and bringing her fingers to her mouth. I moan with a small giggle as she wraps her mouth around her digits, her eyes closing and moaning at the taste of me as her hips start to gently rock against mine.

"Strip." Her eyes shoot open to look down at me but she doesn't do anything so I use my thumb to hook on the band of her shorts pulling them away from her skin. I let go, allowing them to snap back against her skin and she moans quietly at the small sting. "I said strip."

She doesn't waste another second as she pulls her shirt off of her throwing it somewhere in the room, then shuffles up to her knees to slide her sleep shorts off. She settles herself back on me, sighing as her bare and very wet core makes contact with the fabric of my shirt. Her hands start to fiddle with the bottom of my shirt, biting her bottom lip in silent question.

"Go ahead baby." Wanda leans down to kiss me as she pulls my shirt up my torso, and I sit up making sure she stays in my lap as she pulls the shirt over my head. It soon joins her shirt on the floor at the same time I move my hands down removing my own sleep shorts before we both lay back down.

Her lips move along my jaw, her left hand moves up gripping onto my jaw moving my head to the side to give her more access as she moves her lips down my neck. Her hips shift back a little and we both gasp when our clits rub together.

"There was one more thing in my dream." Her hips start rolling against mine, she moves to hook my leg over her hip and the other one she pulls up slightly so she can hook her leg over it allowing her hips to sink against mine more and I moan at the new pressure and position. Wanda hips start to roll against mine in a slow fluid motion, our clits rubbing against each other's and my hands move to Wanda's back feeling her back roll.

"What else did you dream about, baby?" Wanda's hand moves from my jaw to the back of my neck, her nails making half crescent shapes into my skin, her other hand out in front of her pushing against the headboard.

"You gave all control to me, I fucked you senseless. All you could do was scream my name as my hands and mouth worked their magic. I left my mark all over your body, so everybody knows who you belong to."

I swallow harshly at her words, my mind going fuzzy at the thought of her dream. Don't get me wrong I love being the one to look after Wanda the way I do but when she takes charge, I could cum just from the switch. Top Wanda is fucking sexy and her words are always what gets us both going.

"You want control?" I put the question out there allowing Wanda to make the decision, her hips push down onto mine more and we both moan into each other's necks.

"I'm taking control. Is that okay?" I can only nod, all my breath taken away as my back arches off the bed and the added pressure pushes both me and Wanda over the edge as our moans are muffled in each other's necks. My nails drag down her back as I try to grip onto something, her head tilts up at the feeling and she moans directly into my ear before pushing her mouth against the base of my neck and sinking her teeth against it to hide the rest of her moans that spill out of her mouth.

"You got one more in you?" I simply nod again as I try to catch my breath. "I need words honey." Her teeth graze my ear as she pulls at my ear lobe before she licks a strip down to my pulse point gently sucking on it and sinking her teeth into it.

"Fuck, yes...Fuck me."

"Oh I plan too. But I need to make sure you're okay giving up control, not telling me what to do or how to do it. Let me spoil you. So is this okay?" She drags her hand that was around the back of my neck down to my right breast as she starts rolling my hardened nipple between her finger and thumb. She tugs at it, suddenly making me gasp. "I need an answer."

"Yes, yes I'm okay with it."

"Perfect. You just lay there and enjoy honey."

Wanda moves her lips down to my collar bone as her other hand moves down to my other breast, giving both of them a squeeze as her thumbs roll over my nipples. She nips along my collarbone soothing the spots with her tongue as she moves from my left side to my right side. Her hips start rocking against mine again and we both moan, Wanda's muffled by my skin.

"What did you say earlier? Oh yeah. You need to be quiet. Can you do that for me baby? Can you be quiet for me?" My left hand shoots to my mouth as she tugs at my right nipple and my hips buck against her causing both of us more friction.

Wanda pushes my hips down with her left hand, keeping it there to keep me still as she slowly grinds on me, her mouth replacing her finger and thumb on my nipple. Her tongue swirls around the sensitive nub before her teeth scrape along it and a guttural moan vibrates through my hand as it keeps me quiet. She moves her lips on to my other nipple, swirling her tongue around it before trapping it between her teeth and giving it a small tug.

I look down at her when I feel her movements stop only to see a smirk playing on her lips, her eyes staring into mine as she licks over my left nipple causing my head to roll back into the pillow. She places her hands either side of my hip, keeping me still as she drags her tongue from the valley of my breasts all the way down to my belly button. She dips her tongue into my belly button and my free hand grabs onto her hair tugging at it to get her to look at me.

"I know baby, I just want to show you how thankful I am for always making me feel good. You're going to see stars tonight baby." She moves her lips from my belly button over to my left hip, her teeth nipping at my skin every now and again causing my hips to buck slightly Wanda's hands doing nothing to stop the movement.

She bites gently at the thin skin of my hips before soothing the spot with her tongue, I am going to be covered in purple marks. Her thumb on my left hip replaces where her lips were gently rubbing at the area before pushing her thumb in a little and the small amount of pain from it shoots pleasure down to my core. She moves to kiss my right hip giving it the same treatment before resting her chin on it to look up at me.

"You look so sexy like this baby. Writhing below me as I mark what's mine. Now let me be your good girl and make you feel the euphoria of a blistering orgasm." Before I get a chance to look at her or say anything her lips wrap around my clit as she gently sucks at it before rolling her tongue over it.

My hips buck against her face as my hand in her hair tugs her closer, she moans against my core at the harsh pull and I feel more arousal pool between my thighs. Her hands give up trying to keep my hips still, instead moving up to take both breasts in her hands gently squeezing them. My back arching when her tongue moves down to my entrance, licking a long strip through my folds. She dips her tongue into my entrance before removing it and going back up to rolling her tongue on my clit.

I groan with a lack of patience at the teasing, but when her teeth graze my pulsing bud my back arches and my head presses into the pillow more. She starts to pinch my nipples between her fingers and thumbs as her tongue finally makes its way into my core and my hips roll against her face. I tug on her hair getting her as close as I can, my hips moving against her face as her tongue swirls inside me working me up. She moans into my core when my hand in her hair clenches pulling hard as my thighs wrap around her head trapping her, not that she seems bothered by the fact.

Her hands start to drag down my torso, her nails definitely leaving red marks behind as they dig against my skin. Her hands land on my thighs, pushing her nails into the skin as she pulls them open, freeing herself from my grasp. Her right hand moves up to my core, and I look down at her to see she is already staring at me, her eyes dark with pure lust.

"Cum for me baby, show me how your good girl makes you feel." Her thumb makes sudden contact with my clit, rubbing harsh and quick circles as her tongue dives back into my core.

My hips buck against her face and a few strokes of her tongue later my back arches off the bed so much I swear it could snap. My eyes roll to the back of my head as I see starts and my head tilts backwards into the pillow. My thighs once again clamp around Wanda's head as my hand in her hair tugs on it momentarily, my other hand hiding the almost pornagraphic moan that vibrates through my throat.

Wanda's hands move to rub up and down my sides, my back slowly lowering to the bed as my legs fall limp next to Wanda’s body. My breathing is rapid, the hand that was covering my mouth no longer doing so as my forearm covers my eyes. Wanda removes her tongue from my core, her thumb gently comes to rest and she removes her hand and mouth once she has helped me through the aftershocks.

I feel her lips move up my body slowly, I can hear her mumbling something but I can't register what she is actually saying. One of her hands continues to rub up and down my side, as my arm is lifted off my face and placed gently next to my head. She intertwines her fingers with mine and when my eyes open her face is already hovering over mine, her bottom lip between her teeth. Her red hair falls freely blocking out everything else as we just stare at each other.

I cup her cheek with my free hand, she leans into the touch her lip slides out from under her teeth as her eyes stare into mine, the green slowly returning. I let out a long breath, finally getting my breathing under control and a toothy smile makes its way onto my face, Wanda smiling in return.

"Did you hear what I said?" I take my lip between my teeth lightly shaking my head my thumb starting to rub gentle circles on her cheek.

"No, I was in a state of utter bliss. You were right. You made me see stars." I giggle at Wanda's blush that makes an appearance, her red cheek heating up in my hand.

"I was asking if you were okay."

"Mmmm, I'm more than okay. You made me feel amazing, baby girl. You were such a good girl putting that dirty little mouth of yours to work." Her red blush creeps down her neck and torso at my words and I smirk up at her.

"I guess this means you're back in control." She giggles as she buries her head into the crook of my neck, her body settling against mine as we both calm down.

"I was never without control, really. You seem to like the hair tugging, pushing you into me more telling you what I need without actually telling you."

"I, uh…" She takes a moment to think about it. "You're not wrong I guess, I had more control than normal yet you still had command."

"Exactly. How do you feel though princess?"

"I feel good." Her body sinks against me more as she takes a deep breath. "You smell so good baby, and you taste even better."

I let out a small laugh not expecting her words, my hands moving to gently rub up and down her back but stopping when I hear a small hiss leave her lips. I furrow my brows when I gently move my finger over her skin feeling the immediate difference.

"Princess, did I hurt you?" I move to sit us up, her legs wrap around my waist as her head stays against my neck.

"No, it felt really good having your nails drag down my back. And anyway I left a nice bite mark on your neck." She shrugs like it's no big deal, and when I rub my hand over her back again her body runs away from it pushing her more against me.

"Princess let me see." I try to move my head so I can look over her shoulder but her hands cup my face as she brings her head out of my neck to look at me, and when I furrow my brows she places her lips between them pecking at the skin until they relax.

"Just so you know, before you look, I am perfectly okay and I love the fact that you've marked me this way. So please don't worry yourself or get upset with yourself."

"Wanda let me see." She bows her head at the use of her name, finally climbing off my lap, turning so her back is facing me as she moves her hair over her shoulders so I can get a clear view.

"Princess." My voice croaks a little as I feel myself getting upset, my bottom lip quivering slightly. Wanda immediately turns around cupping my face once again, sitting straight up on her knees so I have to look up at her.

"No, you have nothing to be upset about. You did not hurt me, you have not made me upset or mad. It only stings a little and that's because we've both calmed down, but it doesn't hurt. I am okay."

"You're okay?" She nods as she leans down to peck my lips a few times, my hands moving to gently rest on her hips.

"I am okay." I nod, but feel a pout on my lips still.

"Can we please sort them out now before we go to sleep? Put some cream on them and clean them up. I think I made you bleed." I don't move my hands from her hips when she moves closer to hug me in fear that I am going to hurt her more.

"Give me a hug baby, you aren't going to hurt me." She rests her chin on my shoulder as I slowly wrap my arms up her back, my hands gently placed between her shoulder blades.

"See I'm okay." I nod against her shoulder.

"I still want to get them cleaned before we sleep."

"Okay, we can clean the bite mark at the same time." I nod once again, and Wanda lets out a small sigh. "Are you okay baby?"

"I will be, I know that the pain brought pleasure to you but a part of my brain can't turn off the thought that I hurt you enough to make you bleed."

"So your brain is taking a second to realise I'm okay?"

"Yeah." I sigh, hating the fact my brain can't just shut off the anxiety, the inner turmoil, the PTSD, all of it for just a second so I can enjoy a moment like this.

"What do you need?" I hum against her shoulder not really hearing her question. "What do you need me, or us to do to remove that small amount of doubt in your brain?

"I think once I get it cleaned and put some cream on it I will be fine. I mean I'm fine now, and a part of me knows that you're perfectly okay and that you enjoyed the pain more than actually being hurt."

"But the other part still can't get past the fact that it caused a small amount of pain. Because that's all it is, a small little sting that I enjoyed feeling and now I have the pleasure of wearing it on me. Which I will do with pride."

"Exactly, on both points." She pecks my lips once more.

"Okay let's get ourselves cleaned up." Wanda rolls off of me, standing from the bed then turning to look at me; holding out her hand to get me moving.

I grab into her hand climbing out of the bed as she leads me into the bathroom, turning the bright light on that makes both of us close our eyes as the sudden brightness. I rub my hands over my eyes, hoping for some small reason that it will help adjust to the light. My eyes flutter open and I see Wanda rummaging through the cupboard grabbing out the tube of antiseptic cream, then moves to grab the wash cloth.

My eyes scan her back, nibbling my bottom lip as I see the scratch marks then looking down at my nails seeing some skin under them. They aren't long enough to cause any discomfort for Wanda but her back shows they have enough length to them to cause damage if I press hard enough. My eyes flick up to look in the mirror as I catch Wanda's eyes and a small smile grows on her lips.

"You first." Her words break me from my spell of watching her and my eyes flick down to look at the bite mark in the mirror, luckily for me it's at the base of my neck where I can hide it under my collar or a scarf.

"Okay." I take a few steps back so my legs rest against the bathtub before sitting down on the edge of it.

Wanda runs the wash cloth under some water as she opens up the antiseptic cream. She turns the tap off, wringing out the cloth before she turns to look at me, her eyes watching mine as she gently taps my legs with her foot. I open up my legs slightly and she moves to stand between them, her finger and thumb of her left hand lifting and tilting my chin up so she can get to the bite mark.

She gently dabs the washcloth along the teeth indents, the corner of her lip between her teeth as her eyes move down to watch what she is doing. She places the washcloth on the side of the bath next to me when she deems it clean enough, her fingers delicately trace around the mark before turning to grab the tube of antiseptic.

"I've seen that tube more in the past day than I ever have before." She scrunches her brows looking at the tube before she smiles to herself.

"Billy used it to clean up your nose, which by the way is looking better. The bruising is still there of course but the gash doesn't look agitated, he did a good job." She puts a little on the end of her finger and gently starts rubbing it around the affected area.

"He did. He is just like his mother. He is kind, attentive, caring; he is mind full of others, warm-hearted and most of all he is confident, happy and he has such a positive aura. Just like you." Her hand had stopped moving somewhere in the middle of my little description as her eyes sparkle in the light as she takes in every word.

"He really is all that and more. So is Tommy." A smile grows on her face as she continues to apply the cream.

"They got all their best qualities from you." Wanda leans down to peck my lips a few times but I pull away with a small wince as her finger brushes over a part of the bite.

"Sorry baby." She inspects the bite nodding to herself as she wipes her hand on the washcloth. I end up smiling widely as she brings her lips down to hover over the bite as she blows cool air on the bite just like Billy did my nose. When she looks up at me, she gives me a questioning look at my massive smile that causes my eyes to almost scrunch closed.

"Billy said you taught him that." She once again pecks my lips before placing a fresh washcloth and the cream in my hand turning around to brace herself against the bathroom counter.

I stand up moving over to her, and place the tube of cream down on the counter; wetting the wash cloth with warm water. I wring it out, placing it on my shoulder as I use my hands to part Wanda's hair and place it over her shoulders. I watch as it falls elegantly down her front, long enough to cover up her breasts and I leave a small peck on the back of her neck before I get to work.

I start at the top left of her back, on her shoulder blade, and tentatively start to dab along the red and very raw marks. My lip nervously placed between my teeth as my eyes follow the mark down all the way to her mid back. My left hand rests on her hip, while I move the wash cloth around her back making sure not to drag it along her skin as that will just cause more irritation.

It takes me about 10 minutes of carefully dabbing away at the marks, for me to be happy with the job I've done in cleaning her back up. There was a little blood towards the bottom of some of the scratch lines, but Wanda assured me all the way through the cleaning process that she was truly okay. I place the washcloth in the sink, moving to pick up the cream as Wanda’s eyes watch me through the mirror.

"I know you say you're okay, and my mind has settled down now so I'm not feeling so ashamed of my actions. But, this is going to hurt in some places so please don't be afraid to wince or let your body run away from my hand. You don't need to hide that it hurts because I know it does."

Wanda’s right hand reaches for mine, taking the tube of cream out of it before her hand wraps around mine bringing it up to her lips. She peppers my palm and the back of my hand in kisses, her eyes never leaving mine through the mirror. She kisses my palm one more time before smiling against it. Wanda allows me to take my hand back and I grab the tube of cream.

"Thank you for this." I put some cream on the end of my finger looking back up to her eyes for just a second before mine flick down to look at her back trying to decide where to start.

"You don't have to thank me for looking after you princess." I nod to myself as I decide to do this the same way I used the washcloth, staring at the top left following each mark downwards as I move across her back.

"I don't just mean the aftercare baby, I also mean thank you for letting me try and take control." I nod my head in understanding as I gently trace my finger over the first mark making sure to use my other hand to rub the cream in gently.

"If you want to take control more often, then I am perfectly okay with it. But I'm also okay if you choose that it's not for you." A blow cool air along the first mark as I move on to the next one.

"I did enjoy it, having full control. And I know you said you still had command, but when you were so worked up you couldn't speak so instead left these marks I felt so proud of myself. You know, for being able to make you feel so good." Her body runs away from me slightly as I get to the bottom of this cut which bleeds a little at the irritation of the cream.

"So it's something you want to do again?" I dab the blood off with my middle finger, wiping it off with the cloth in the sink before blowing cool air up the mark smiling slightly when I see goosebumps.

"I would yeah. How do you feel about that?" I smile at her through the mirror as I put more cream on the tip of my finger.

"I am perfectly okay with you wanting to take more control in the bedroom whenever you want to."

She nods to herself, and I see her take her bottom lip between her teeth so decide to hold back on applying the cream for just a second. Instead resting my free, clean hand on her shoulder.

"What are you thinking?"

"Uhm, even though I like the feeling of being in control sometimes I still want to do all those things on the list. You know, lose all control and have you do whatever you want with me."

"Within our boundaries."

"Yeah within our boundaries." I start applying cream to the next mark as Wanda fiddles with her fingers. "Talking about boundaries."

"Mhmm." I continue my work of rubbing the cream in gently, then blowing cool air over the area.

"Would you ever consider having your hands tied up or anything." I purse my lips to the side in thought but continue on applying the cream on her back.

"It sounds odd because I am comfortable with doing those things with you, to you. But when I think about having it done to me, I feel a little uncomfortable." My eyes shoot up to look at Wandas. "I don't make you feel uncomfortable by doing it to you?"

"Woah, woah. Don't put yourself in panic mode." Wanda instantly turns around at my words, her hands cupping my face and she says her next words in complete seriousness. "You have never, ever made me feel uncomfortable. We made a list for a reason so we know each other's boundaries and limits. Just because you like seeing me in handcuffs, blindfolded and even gagged does not mean that you enjoy it when the roles are reversed. This is why I asked you, so I know whether or not you would be okay with me taking control like that. And it's okay that you aren't okay with it. I know a new boundary now and I'm never going to push you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, especially something like this."

"Okay, thank you. I don't know why I suddenly panicked. I mean you're right we made a list for a reason, we know most of each other's boundaries. We still need to finish the list too. So yes, you can take charge more if that's what you want to do but, just, no stopping my limbs from being free. I need to be able to move them easily."

"Look at us communicating healthy, albeit its about our sex life but still it's communication." She smiles up at me, her eyes filled with nothing but love as she speaks.

"Look at us being all open and free." Wanda nods in agreement, bringing my face down to hers as she stands on her tiptoes.

"I'm proud of you for being able to be open and honest about something that may have been uncomfortable for you to tell me."

"And I'm proud of you for being able to ask the question and open up about what you're thinking."

"Well, I'm proud of you for being able to allow your brain to figure out that I wasn't hurt without spiralling."

"I'm proud of you for spotting the signs of a possible spiral." Wanda pulls away slightly scoffing lightly as I finish my sentence earning a raised eyebrow from me.

"That conversation was disgusting." I let out a loud laugh, wanda's hand moves to cover up my mouth so I don't wake the boys with my laughter. Once I manage to stop she removes her hand pecking my lips as a fuzzy smile makes its way onto her face.

"You're right, that was a tooth rotting, cringe worthy conversation." Wanda nods in agreement. "Now turn around I have to finish your back."

"Yes boss."

================================

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maxmoff x y/n #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wanda smut #wanda maximoff smut #just us series

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petermorwood · 4 months ago

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Words have power

In dreams, as in life, and this dream woke me up this morning a lot harder than I liked, hard and fast enough that I actually remember most of the details, so I'm getting them down now before they fade.

CC: @su-whisterfield - you'll know the chapter I mean. :->

*****

In the dream I was at a convention, in the bar, chatting about how well or badly media represents certain situations.

Someone said the coffin scene in "Kill Bill" was one of the best representations of claustrophobia they'd ever seen, and there was nothing in print to match it.

I said, "Ever read the Earldelving chapter in Garner's 'Weirdstone of Brisingamen'?"

I got blank looks so reached into my shoulder-bag, pulled out a copy (evidently in this dream I had a Bag of Holding, whatever book I'd have needed was in there) and started reading.

Next thing, I was wide awake, covered in sweat, and when I looked at my Fitbit pulse-rate readout it had gone from a tagged low of 43 bpm to 85-90 in a single tick.

In retrospect I should have grabbed my phone and captured that image for the record, but I had other things on my mind, such as re-establishing awareness that I was just in bed, a bit tangled in the duvet.

Not underground in a crevice so small it was snug against shoulders, chest and back, upside-down in the dark with nowhere to go but forward and down into an unknown depth of water.

Believe me, being awake was GOOD.

*****

Garner has dismissed his early books as juvenile, and his "Bonelands" (the long-awaited sequel to "Weirdstone" and ITS immediate sequel "The Moon of Gomrath") isn't a fantasy but a modern, adult psychological novel.

I read several reviews praising it, and others which condemned it as a deliberate "oh, don't be so childish!" slap in the face to all the faithful fans who waited 50 years for a conclusion to that story.

YMMV. I haven't read it. That's also deliberate.

Yes, "Weirdstone" and "Gomrath" were written for a juvenile readership, but their writing is sometimes more adult than even their own author seems aware.

Words. Have. Power.

#cw: claustrophobia #dreams #writing #effective writing #words have power #Alan Garner #The Weirdstone of Brisingamen

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racewinners-landoandsam · 2 months ago

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You are so right about the team and orders. In Hungary when they guilt tripped Lando into fixing their own mistake, the team told him “you can’t win a championship on your own, you’ll need Oscar” okay like when are you going to make that happen? When is Oscar going to pay that forward? Wouldn’t the smart thing in Monza have been to tell Oscar to hold up and cover Lando then start building a gap? It does feel like Lando is on his own at times with McLaren.

I know it’s been a year, but Carlos was more of a teammate to Lando in Singapore, than Oscar was today.

you're so true about singapore. carlos did something that benefitted him and lando, oscar only did something that benefitted himself, it meant lando lost a place as well.

lando has been loyal to the team since they signed and supported him. he did work experience around the garage when he was eighteen, so he was ready to start the following year. he's had interest from other top teams, but has chosen to stay with mclaren. he's had talks with red bull and chosen to sign a mclaren contract the very next day.

six years he has been loyal to this team. he has never been out qualified by a teammate, even in his rookie season.

in 2019 he finished the championship 47 points behind his more experienced teammate.

in 2020 he closed that gap down to 8 points behind carlos, and helping to secure 3rd place in the championship.

in 2021 there was so much talk about daniel embarrassing lando out of the sport, he responded by beating his teammate who had been in the sport for 8 years longer.

in 2022 he increased that gap and outscored him by 85 points, which ultimately ended in daniel losing his seat.

in 2023 lando beat oscar by 108 points, which is crazier when you think about how many people were talking about how good oscar was in his rookie season.

lando has proved again and again how good he is, even when the machinery he's given isn't as good as he makes it look. the mclaren has only really been good since austria 2023, and since then lando has had 17 podiums, including 2 wins. before then he's had 6 podiums. he was the only driver not in the top three teams to get a podium in 2022.

there is a reason so many of the older/former drivers like lando so much. fernando, lewis, nico, jenson, have all spoken about how good lando is. all championship winning drivers, surely that counts for something.

when nico rosberg is telling zak brown they need to prioritise lando, surely something clicks there. when your driver is second place in the championship with their competitor not qualifying well, surely something clicks there. i'm all for drivers racing, but mclaren have a chance here. they may keep it up for next year, they may even keep it up when the regulations change. but why risk it, when they have a chance of a championship this year.

lando has stuck with mclaren through the bad years. joined with a team that had one of their worst years in 2018. he watched his teammate get a win in 2021, followed the team orders and stayed behind, then at the next race he got so close to his win, but mclaren let him make the decision about the tyres, which never should have been his decision. then in 2022 the car was awful, mclaren were no where near with the regulations, but he got a podium regardless. in 2023 the team got it right, but he still accepted that he wasn't going to get a win, max was too far ahead. now the team have two good drivers, a car that looks to be the fastest at most tracks, yet they still keep bottling wins, and still won't prioritise lando's championship.

oscar is doing much better this year, his race pace has improved a lot, but lando is faster. we all know how much faster he was at hungary, but he still listened to team orders, because he is a team player, and surely at some point he should be rewarded for that.

surely at some point his loyalty, and his skill should be seen and rewarded. he has been the top driver since 2021, it makes no sense that oscar keeps getting preferential treatment.

it kind of feels like gentle parenting. lando got a win, so oscar should get a win too. it's stupid.

anyway, sorry for rambling, i'm pissed off at the moment, and needed to do the research to prove how stupid mclaren are and how amazing lando is!!

#lando norris #fuck mclaren #this is a long one #soz guys #but seriously #what the fuck are mclaren doing #bring back andreas seidl he wouldnt let this happen #bring back charlotte too #she would be throwing hands rn #at least lando has max with him

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steamberrystudio · 5 months ago

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02/06/2024 Patreon Devlog

Hallo everyone! Time for the tumblr update!

Summary:

Revising chapter 10

New BG art

New CG art

Writing:

Okay. So I am neeeeearly done with Chapter 10. I'm about 85% of the way through it and currently I have just Yren's content left to revise for this chapter.

As I mentioned last time, I am now embroiled in an epic battle with Chapter 10!

In my last update, this chapter was 73k words and I said I expected it to be over 80k. I don't know why I said that because the final word count, from the start, was always going to be over 90k....

Anyway, it's 88k right now and I'm expecting it to be around 93k when Yren's content is revised and pulled into alignment with the others in terms of length.

So I'm very close to completing it and I hope maaaaybe by the end of tomorrow?

Art:

Received a new BG since last time. BGs are around 70% complete now.

I also ended up doing work on a CG for chapter 2. Just trying to get a head start on any outstanding art I need for that chapter...

I went through the chapter and noted where I am pretty sure I'll be placing CGs...

It's a little tricky with early chapters because the characters aren't necessarily doing anything or having interesting interactions (I mean, the conversations themselves are interesting but they're not like...dramatic interactions I guess?) Since this is very much an establishing chapter, there are no dramatic plot moments, nor are there any romance or relationship moments. Characters are having conversations and learning about each other.

The characters sit and talk, walk and talk, stand and talk...

When the conversations are like "This is my homeworld, this is how I grew up, this is when I joined the ship, this is what I was doing before you found me sleeping in a box...."

Those are interesting conversations but not necessarily interesting to illustrate.

Even if I could get creative with a CG for one character, if I can't do it for everyone then I have to consider if it'll feel like one character got special treatment... So there's a lot of balancing and planning...

I'm still putting CGs in but it's possible that, in chapter two, they'll be more "Pretty art" than "Interesting illustration moments" LoL.

Upcoming Weeks:

So I'm hoping to get Yren's Ch10 revision done today or tomorrow. Probably tomorrow. Once that is done I have to proofread for typos (which is partially done but needs a few more checks to clean up some other stuff).

Then I will format the chapter into renpy....and...

After that I'll be revising Asher and Daaz's end game sequences. I think I should be able to get all of that done by my next update.

And after that, we shall see.

Still a ways to go before the writing is done but the light at the end of the tunnel is a bit brighter these days. So...looking forward to being done with the last of the hulking and difficult chapters.

Anyway, that is all for now. See you next time!

#whenstarscollide #amare game #indie otome game #english otome games #updates

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amyisraelchaiforever · 10 months ago

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If you don’t mind, would you explain what exactly it means to be a Zionist, or what Zionism is?

Also, looking at posts here and on news sites I see such pradoxical views, one saying to not support Palestine is to support genocide and the other saying to not support Israel is to be antisemitic. I wonder, and I am going around asking people on different sides of the war, do you believe it is possible to support both the lives of Palestinian people and the lives of Jewish people?

Feel free to ignore this ask or to point out any ignorance on my part. I hope you have some peace in your day/night.

Of course! Thank you for being so kind with your questions! 💙 Sorry that it's a bit "all over the place." There's a LOT to cover, and I'll leave a bunch of links to learn about more details.

To start of, Zionism is (by the google-search definition):

a movement for (originally) the re-establishment and (now) the development and protection of a Jewish nation in what is now Israel. It was established as a political organization in 1897 under Theodor Herzl, and was later led by Chaim Weizmann.

So basically, being a zionist is supporting zionism or the creation & protection of Israel.

Most Jews are Zionists (sources say between 85-95%) of Jews. Something I want to clarify:

Being a zionist, or supporting Israel, does not mean that we support all decisions of Israeli government, especially not Netanyahu. In fact, most Israelis and Jews don't actually like Netanyahu (which I'll be calling Bibi for short). This doesn't mean we don't want Israel to cease to exist. There's multiple sides to even one side in the main argument.

Now I'm going to tackle your harder points:

First of all, I don't support the "Free Palestine" movement for multiple reasons, but get this straight: It's not because I hate the people, it's because the leaders of it are people I don't agree with.

I definitely don't want you to think I think all people in Gaza/'Palestinians' should die. I do NOT think that. But first of all, let me talk about the whole issue of "not supporting Palestine is to support genocide".

It's not genocide, simple as that.

here's the definition of genocide:

the deliberate killing of a large number of people from a particular nation or ethnic group with the aim of destroying that nation or group.

In my opinion, you should replace "killing" with "murdering", but you get the gist.

Israel attacking the Gaza Strip right now is not in order to kill the civilians there, it's to retrieve the hostages (hostages, not prisoners of war) and end HAMAS (a globally-recognized terrorist organization. I'll link some pictures of their website at the end), so they can't launch another deathly attack on Israel or Jews as a whole (not to mention HAMAS's other problems with LGBTQ+ and such).

Therefore, not genocide. I do not want the people in Gaza dead, but I do not support Palestine as they want it- Israel gone and a new country. Does that mean I support genocide? That's your own decision to make.

Something I want to briefly touch upon is historical inaccuracy & numbers before we move on to "not supporting Israel is antisemitic".

Like I said, HAMAS is a terrorist organization. Here's a few examples of a website used to show their propaganda & agendas.

This is even from a while back (1-2 weeks)! It's messed up, especially if you take time to read the Stages.

Also, I do not believe that all Palestinians and Palestine-supporters support Hamas, like not every Israeli and Jew support every decision of the Israeli Government. But still, people idolize HAMAS and that is a problem.

People say, "end the 75 (or 76) year occupation!!!!11!!!!!1!!!!" I won't get into history, but the Gaza Strip was ruled by Egypt until 1967 (then it was captured by Israel during a war) and Israel completely left it 2005-6. Can't be 75 or 76 years if you haven't been there for so long.

That was just something I wanted to mention. Now, lets move onto "not supporting Israel is antisemitic."

This changes from person to person, I'll admit. A goy (or non-jewish person) can't decide what is or isn't antisemitic, and a jew cannot really do the same to another jew. Saying that Israel shouldn't exist? Yes, it's antisemitic. Israel (Judea, Eretz Yisrael, etc) is the Jews' land, birthright- we are the indigenous people (whoo boy, I could go on a whole other rant here if you want me to.)

Mostly, I'd say it isn't antisemitic. Some people might disagree. I found a good guide on critizing Israel here - it'll be linked in the end if you want to check it out.

IN ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION: yes, it is possible! i value both israeli and Jews AND palestinians lives (this is not when they tell me to kms, of course)

sorry it took me so long to answer this :')

Here are some of the links I recommend:

@freegazafromhamas Quick information, easy to digest (and a very kind person); probably most in support of a palestinian state

@fuck-hamas-go-israel has been running this blog for over 10 years, I believe. Important picture & video evidence and information.

@elder-millennial-of-zion Again, important information.

@shretl this user is especially good for information! They're very educated & I've learned a lot. Honestly, just looking through their posts is educational...

I've also preblogged many things in general on my blog!

other pictures:

Online Sources: (this section is taken from @shretl's post) * https://www.israelhayom.co.il/article/865383 - Hebrew article, Title means "Sad ending to a magnificent history: Only 4 Jews left in Iraq".

What was the Farhud https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farhud

History of the Jewish community in Baghdad https://cojs.org/the_jewish_community_in_baghdad_in_the_eighteenth_century-_zvi_yehuda-_nehardea-_babylonian_jewry_heritage_center-_2003/

What are Pogroms?https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/pogroms?gclid=Cj0KCQiAkeSsBhDUARIsAK3tiedM7DuwIaSQX-kRxvXTgCDxN6-zqeo_DNNFgyanSYGyGOhwu_0vfrkaAg6REALw_wcB

The last Jew of Peki'in, Margalit Zinati https://aish.com/the-last-jew-of-pekiin/

Arab riots of 1930s- https://www.gov.il/en/Departments/General/ben_zvi_30 https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/the-1936-arab-riots

Israel's history from ancient times & timeline : https://www.travelingisrael.com/timeline-land-israel/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=iiUIWnU-Ofk

Second Temple era - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Temple_period

Forced conversion of Jews across history- https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt18mvnct.7?seq=4

If something is wrong, please correct me!

#am yisrael chai #i/p #i/p conflict

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sineala · 3 months ago

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More canon about Tony Stark's secret identity

So I looked this up because @kiyaar asked me it the other day and I knew vaguely where the answer was and that it was in comics I hadn't read, so I read them and I'm presenting my book report to the rest of you, for reference.

The question is: Tony comes out publicly as Iron Man in mid-v3. He also does this a couple years later during Civil War. How did the public stop believing in him as Iron Man in the intervening time?

The basic facts about 616's Tony's secret identity as we all generally know them in fandom:

Tony becomes Iron Man (ToS #39) and promptly decides to keep this a secret. His friends and occasionally enemies find this out, a few people at a time, over the years. There's a span of time shortly after Armor Wars (IM v1 #225-232) in which he fakes his death, but only as Iron Man -- he pretends that the original Iron Man has died and that the guy in the suit now is not the original. This means that he is lying to his friends' faces about being Iron Man, but for the most part he's not fooling anyone at all and all his friends are pretty damn sure Iron Man is still him. There are multiple panels of Steve being like "Tony, I know that's you." (After that, Tony fakes his own death as Tony, eventually coming back publicly in IM v1 #292.)

There are some more secret identity shenanigans in the late 90s (by which I mean the Cap/IM 1998 Annual) -- mindwipes are involved -- but the first big public move is in IM v3 #55. He gives up his secret identity because he wants to go save a puppy. You all know this. Probably.

He also gives up his secret identity a couple years later, in Civil War: Front Line #1, because he's supporting Registration and he wants to put his money where his mouth is.

So the question is, what the hell happened in the middle? He's pretty clearly publicly Iron Man for the latter half of v3 -- did people just forget that? How in the world did they buy that he wasn't Iron Man?

The answer is that this is a Disassembled thing. Specifically, it's in the Iron Man tie-ins to Avengers Disassembled, which I had never read because the only thing I knew about them was that this was the arc that Rumiko died in, and I didn't want to be sad. But it turns out this is also where Tony gets people to stop believing that he is Iron Man. This is Iron Man v3 #85-89.

So Disassembled kicks off in Avengers #500 with the mansion exploding and Scott Lang dying. Tony, who is at this time Secretary of Defense, is addressing the UN when he suddenly feels like he's drunk and starts insulting and threatening the UN representative from Latveria. This, along with many other terrible things, is Wanda's fault; she does this to him with magic. He doesn't know that, though, and the public, of course, thinks he's drinking again. Several of his friends (not Steve) actually think he's drinking again.

The IM tie-ins start with IM v3 #85 after the UN thing has happened, and it turns out that Tony's life is even worse. At this point, he's already facing a lot of public disapproval about the UN thing. Someone steals a suit of his armor and, in #86, murders the Stark Enterprises board of directors. Given that everyone knows that Tony is Iron Man, that Tony has just been drunk and belligerent at the UN, and that the board's shares in SE revert to Tony, everyone now thinks he is guilty of murdering the entire board. There are crowds of angry people with signs, at his house, protesting… him, I guess. The UN/SecDef thing, and the murder thing, I guess.

Tony, at this point, has now shut himself up in his house and is trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with him. He doesn't actually know who has his armor and is attempting to frame him for this, or why they're doing it, but this isn't his main concern at this point. His main concern is the incident at the UN, because at this point he has no idea that Wanda is responsible for doing this to him, so he keeps doing things like scanning himself because he thinks something must have gone wrong with his brain.

This is when Ru shows up at Tony's house, in IM v3 #87. Ru and Tony have been off-and-on, and are currently off, and Ru would like to get back together with him. So she goes in, looking for Tony, and is immediately shot by the guy who has stolen the Iron Man armor, who is also there in Tony's house now. Tony walks in just in time for Ru to die in his arms; she very possibly dies believing that Tony was the one who shot her, since as far as she knows, it was Iron Man.

Then we get one of the key parts enabling Tony's new identity shenanigans. The guy in his armor is still in his house, and in #88, the guy starts fighting Tony. What happens is that he pushes Tony through a window into the swimming pool below. Since Tony's house is surrounded by a mob of angry protesters, he's pretty newsworthy right now, and a news helicopter is passing overhead at the exact moment in time. So now the entire world has footage of Tony fighting a man in an Iron Man suit, who therefore cannot possibly be Tony.

So because of this, Tony is basically exonerated for the murder of the SE board, because obviously it was this evil guy who stole the suit who did all the murders, which is in fact true. So this also plants the idea in everyone's mind -- and certainly in Tony's mind -- that Tony and Iron Man could, theoretically, be separate people. They obviously don't have to be, but it's clearly possible that someone else might become Iron Man.

At the end of #89, Tony gives a big speech to the media. He says he's apologized to Latveria and he's resigning his post as Secretary of Defense. He also says that he's resigning as Iron Man. He says he's just going to be Tony Stark, but "there will always be an Iron Man."

So the story is that Tony was Iron Man. He used to be Iron Man. He admits that. That's a thing people know about him -- no one's been mindwiped of that information or anything this time. But he also swears he's not Iron Man now; he swears that Iron Man is someone else. So if anyone sees Iron Man from here on out, that won't be him. That'll be someone else.

I mean, yeah, he is completely lying when he says that, as we know.

This is a lot like the thing he tried to pull on the superhero community after Armor Wars, but apparently the public believes him this time, unlike how his friends did not. By the time we get to Avengers Finale, which is the last issue of Disassembled, all his fellow heroes clearly know he's still Iron Man -- he's hanging around in the armor without a mask, around the Avengers -- but, as he tells them, he clearly thinks the public is buying this.

And they apparently are buying this, to the point that it's news to everyone when he says he's Iron Man again in CW Front Line #1.

So, yeah, that's how this goes.

Unrelatedly, from #87, here's a panel for your collection of panels about how Tony is really kind of queer.

If Ru thought Tony wasn't ever going to date a man, that would have been a great time for her to say something in reply. I'm just saying.

#posts i actually wrote

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