#and i'm sooo goddamn frustrated!!!

[canongf]

my dad got engaged and i am not happy for him <3

[chaoswillcalmusdown]

operation "how much estrogen leeway do we have" has commenced and it's only been 2 days but i'm so frustrated my muscles are still acting like they've been through a marathon

[danger-noodle-uwu]

Trigger warning [mentions of killing/arguments/death/break-ups/cheating/etc]

Satan

Wrath is vengeful, wrath is destruction however this never bothered you or got in the way of dating Satan, The Avatar of wrath himself.

But as one could say, the true nature of a being could never remain under the covers. There was vengeance peering above the surface, and destruction awaiting at an unknown's doors, you did not knew.

Satan had great many contacts and to keep that up, he need to do few favors but not every favor was not-so-bloody. And lost in such an expectations of others did he forget an important day like today.

As always the day started as chaos, which couldn't have been helped either way and the blond had grown sick of that, unknown to the cause of chaos and decided to act upon the list he had, completely overlooking your smile, or the stunning outfit complimenting your figure or the day itself.

Upon this ignorance of his, you really wished face-palm. His demeanor was rather annoying, which only fueled you more to smack him. Really hard.

Today was well-planned, at least that's what you thought before dragging him away from his target and scolding him for leaving you on your own in a place crawling with demons.

Satan being the literal embodiment of wrath yet also your lover said "Get off me. I have things to do. And stop being so damn clingy." "Hey, it's your fault for leaving me on my special day!plus, there's sooo many things I wanna do toda–"

"Please shut up for once in your goddamn life!!" His sharp scream cut you off as his eyes bore into yours; eyes full of hatred and disgust as if you were a wretched grotesque placed before him.

Those words accompanied by his harsh glares was enough to make your heart shatter and knifes to be jabbed in your chest while eyes stung with tears that you pathetically hid by averting them as you asked "what did I do wrong..?"

Who knew that one sentence was enough to make those unshed tears flow and litter your rosy cheeks that he'd usually squish and fawn over but alas, all that comforted you was his back.

"Your whole being is the most ugliest!" Lies. Lies. He knew his tongue spat venom at you with words that could never be true because you're his world but the blinding rage doesn't allow him to say so and thus instead, his hand runs through golden locks out of pure frustration as he finally turned to face you.

There was something terrifying about him that very moment which made you mumble out a small "...I'm sorry..." before running off; the sharp pain in your heart only grew with him staring at you like that. It was all just too much. His wrath was suffocating you but to ruin your birthday without even remembering it.

You did didn't care for how bad your muscles ached as you ran further away from him. All that you wanted is to be alone and cry your heart out in hopes that this agony would subside yet part of you hoped that he cared and would come after you or stop you. Which never happened.

Satan has always been so...uncooperative and complicated towards everyone that it almost made him unreachable at times especially when it comes to Lucifer however today, it became different.

His face was scrunched and tense as Lucifer advised him to give you space before talking things out and perhaps getting you a gift as well for both an apology and your birthday; his body pacing back and forth in his room reconsidering things he's spoke until now, not even bothered to consider this as a special day while his elder patiently waited for him to calm down. They both how much you mean to Satan despite him hurting you and making you feel unwanted.

And would anyone look at the avatar of wrath while he's on his knees; practically begging to set things write and for you to accept his apology. However much like always, you don't fail at surprising him when your lips clumsily crash against his.

That he moment he knew how truly beautiful you are in every sense. From physical appearance to your dream-like soul. Every inch was perfect.

Asmodeus

'Touchy and irresponsible as always' you sighed looking over and frowning at Asmodeus who was so clearly lost in the seemingly endless attention they give him as their hands roam his body while he's biting his lip. He was enjoying this, wasn't he?

The thought of him being touched by somebody else made your stomach churn and eyes sting with hurt and envy; he was the avatar of lust, true but couldn't he not do this on your birthday at least and pay attention to you.

You could bet as to how pathetic you were looking drinking demonus with tears in your eyes and surrounded by demons who could just swallow you whole without your lover even batting an eye. Afterall, he'd rather be someone's bed warmer than your boyfriend.

"Hey...are you okay?" Honestly, you didn't know this stranger's name or anything about him but he still had some concern for your well-being; way more than your beloved however made you self-conscious as how pathetic you may have appeared and let your emotions get the best of you in front of unknown people.

"Yea..." you replied flushed from embarrassment and the crimson liquid that rested in your glass. It was really humiliating and made you feel awfully shy at the same time.

"If you say so, but don't hesitate to tell me if there's anything bothering you or if—" He leans closer to whisper in your ear before continuing "—someone's bothering you..." His voice was authoritative yet gentle much akin to a soft breeze from the human world despite being a demon.

"Oh! And I'm Ethan..." a blush ghosted over his cheeks as he realized that he hadn't even introduced himself while you told him yours as he gave you his number offering to help you just in case.

Truth be told, you were smiling to yourself glancing on the tissue that he wrote his number on and the fact that he even wrote happy to help made you grin wider. It was such a sweet gesture.

However unknownst to you, Asmo seemed to have noticed the whole interaction and was fuming with envy; so jealous that he could put Levi to shame. His face burned with heat and beads of sweat rolled down. He hated how that putrid demon had the audacity to flirt and blush at you yet his anger only stirred further when you smiled at him.

The avatar of lust stormed over to you and dragging you out of the fall, harsh grip on your wrist that would probably leave a bruise and then slammed you against the cold wall in the alleyway.

"What are you—!!" You were muffled by his lips smashing against yours; hands roaming your body as desire burned in your veins. Lips synced and danced against each other into a steamy make-out session however he pulled away.

"Why were you flirting with that guy?! You know that demons can hurt you then why my darling must you do this?!" It was irritating as to how he interrogated you but didn't even consider his own actions and the way he neglected you.

Did he even remember your birthday..?

"You say this as if YOU weren't smothering some random people in front of your girlfriend on OUR date!!" And finally, he realized what he's been doing all day. He was avoiding and ignoring you, too busy and consumed by his own...thoughts while you constantly tried to spend quality time with him.

"Baby...I'm sorry..." He coos gently holding your face and cradling you as tears cascaded your face. You looked so miserable because him and he made an internal promise to treat you better and not neglect your emotions.

"Y-you even forgot my birthday..." you sobbed into his soft hands as his eyes widened before he kissed you again. This time much gently and lovingly; full of adoration and affection but desperate for you.

You knew he meant it but forgiving is easier said than done. Even if you would accept him, it'd much later as for now, you wanted him to show is emotions; his real self that was vulnerable and loving; one that was guilty of hurting you. One that loved you beyond his own sin.

You would be lying if you said your heart wasn't melting for him as his hand intertwined with yours while the other rested around your waist and blush littered his face; all for you.

All of him softened just for you; all those emotions showered upon you because all of his love was meant for you.

Beelzebub

Gluttony is like a venom that spreads in your body; turning one into a hungry beast ready to devour his prey and another into a starved being—but for somebody who personified the sin in itself would be beyond a monster or an other horrendous creature imaginable.

Thus, can you really blame Beelzebub for ingesting the whole food supply of house of lamentation alongside of some cutlery after a seemingly intense workout as well 7 hours of helping satan shift his books in order to clean the empty space.

He was salivating at the sight of everything before as his vision molded it into something edible...delicious and well; in front of him were you, standing there awkwardly as his eyes hovered over you however not in a lustful but more like a locking the meat of your bones manner.

"B-beel, you alright..?" His intense gaze made you feel uncomfortable as you shifted in your place yet he didn't blink once as if his hunger overtook him...making him forget who you were.

You couldn't breathe, couldn't move an inch without him lunging at you with those eyes full of hunger for anything to satiate the emptiness within his stomach including you. However, Luck was on your side since it was your own birthday as Asmodeus happened to pass by the scene hoisting his phone up taking selfish before rushing towards you.

"Darling, Beel, what are you guys... doing?" By the end of his question, he knew what was coming. He is well aquaintated with Beel's endless hunger that violently shook the atmosphere in the whole house.

As you stood unblinking staring back at the avatar of gluttony trembling with fear whilst his ragged breaths were heard in the silence of the hall. The very next second he pounced at you transforming into his demon form; claws beared as if he was readily about to rip your heart out.

Yet somehow you were alive; alive and thrown over like a sack of potatoes on Asmo's shoulder as he sprinted towards his room with an echoing sound of certain rumbling in the background that made shiver in dread.

"Honey, you're alright. You're safe, okay? Phew!" He collapsed next to you on the floor next to you after ensuring the door was properly locked, clearly out of breath while still attempting to comfort your troubled form.

Despite knowing he cannot control his hunger, you couldn't help but tighten your throat or fall victim to the ache plastered within your chest. He loves you, you know it but this...hurt more than expected.

The clutches of gluttony were like shackles that bound him and drove him to try to...the thought alone makes you want throw up or is it because his twin succeeded at a similar task.

"Hey...Mc, don't cry, darling. It'll all be okay, I promise! Forget everything it's your birthday, isn't it?" The blond cradled you in his arms trying to shush away your tears meanwhile you sobbed and cried; planned everything, got up early to bake for him and even got the tickets to a movie he was excited about.

"It's so unfair! So unfair, Asmo!!" Why did this have to happen when all you did was try your best? Why are you doomed to fail at every given task? Was this all your fault?

Such thoughts consumed you wholly as your sobs turned into more cries that dragged Asmo's poor heart along with it; it hurt him so much to see someone he considered family be hurt so much. To be broken that they're reduced to a teary mess on the floor.

In the hallway, Lucifer and Satan towered upon Beelzebub who finally calmed down, happily chomping the food he was given; almost uncaring of his twin that laid kissing the ground with a large bruise forming on his forehead.

"W-where *chomp* is cupcake?" He muttered with a mouthful, thinking you must be hungry and not even remembering what he did as he was a puppet under the control of his sin.

"In Asmodues's room..." Lucifer sighed while Satan raged at the sight of the havoc wrecked upon his book—cursed ones, collector's edition, etc. They were everywhere torn into half or bites into and discarded afterwards.

"They must be sobbing since you were ever so nice to them on their birthday!" Satan mocked knowing how badly his brother fucked up while the orange head gushed the memories right into his eyes. Each moment he made a decision worse than the other.

"Oh my poor Mc, sleep well..." you didn't realize how exhausted you were from the whole event that you passed out between Asmo's arms who later tucked you within the comforting confines of your own bed.

But peace never really lasted long as you woke up, only to be greeted by a decorated room, a cake with several other snacks littered on the table and Beelzebub by your side with apologetic eyes as a melody played accompanied by the voices belonging to the remaining brothers.

"I'm sorry, cupcake...I didn't mean to scare you or hurt you, I just don't know what's wrong with me but please forgive me...I love you..." His eyes bore guilt as he was reminded of an older time, an older mistake before his hands caged yours affectionately before kissing them lovingly.

The orange headed demon never wished to be more than your protector, that gives away his life to save yours but also a lover that wants to build a family with you; one that he loves dearer than himself.

Belphegor

Does fate really hate you? If not, why must it be you who suffers with people misunderstanding you or blaming you for actions not performed by you?

"Come on, it's not that bad...just a stupid nightmare!" You hopped onto your feet before changing into your outfit for the day; one that made you feel good about yourself unlike the haunting nightmares that weren't leaving you alone.

As you left your room trying your best to force a smile out, there was a voice that felt familiar as it belonged to a certain great demon who bestowed the wishes of having the best birthday.

"Happy birthday, h-human!" He spoke loudly as if reminding the others of the day despite the whole hall being empty. The gesture in itself was funny, his hand putting your head like a puppy except for the part he himself looked like one.

"Thanks, mammon." And there it was your signature smile that could possibly make anybody melt, though how could you believe it; a rose can never see its reflection.

Reaching the dining hall, the atmosphere felt tense as if everyone was on edge, all but one person. He was missing entirely. Belphegor wasn't there. Was he still asleep?

Before you could ask, Lucifer announced "Belphegor will not be joining us today." And continued to finish his breakfast with what seemed to be a bothered expression.

"Hey beel, what happened?" You couldn't help wonder what did your boyfriend did this time to piss of the eldest and if so, why wasn't satan assisting the crime. "Belphi, h-he said some really mean things..." beelzebub was feeling guilty fill up his stomach, his appetite dying or perhaps killed by someone else.

"Okay..." you knew that the orange headed demon was hiding something, swallowing his own words however why you just couldn't decipher. His voice was strained that it made you feel very uneasy about what really conspired when you were asleep.

"Levi, can you tell me what really happened? Please!!" You pleaded with puppy eyes as soon as the remaining brothers had dispersed from the dining hall; to avoid the extra ears and overly exaggerated explanations.

"Normie, first off promise me you won't tell anybody that i told you this!" He whisper-yelled as you nodded your head vigorously. "Okay--fine, so belphi woke up in a super sour mood and since lucifer decided to call him to the dining hall himself...he said a lot of mean things..."

Leviathan felt a bitter taste in his mouth knowing his next words would most likely ruin your birthday and put you into doubt of your own relationship and partner.

"He spoke a lot of nonsense about lucifer, you know normie...And he--um, he said you weren't that great and just kinda wasted his time w-which is like total bullshit, right? Like normie, you're like Henry 3.0, totally cool and awesome!" He tried his best to soothe the wound he had to give you in order for the truth to be told.

But there it was, a sound of your own heart being crushed and sensation of wet tears dripping down your cheeks. It hurt you so much to hear that your lover spoke of you behind your back that you couldn't take it anymore and sprinted all the way back to your room; leaving Leviathan to only his worry and concern in the dining hall.

Especially on your birthday, that in itself felt like a cheap move being played on you as you felt needles pricking through your chest, and it hurt so much. It felt like the nightmares were true when they played the same scenario where he used you; he used you like a pawn.

Meanwhile, in the twins' room, Belphegor laid in bed with a weird feeling filling him; one that felt so heavy that he couldn't sleep it off. But why? He just couldn't pinpoint.

"Belphi, have spoken with Mc yet? It's their birthday...you should really go to see them..." the avatar of gluttony had his head lowered as he pouted; visibly hungry but at a lack of food.

"WHAT!" "Yea its their birthday, belphi..?" Belphegor panicked for at least 5 minutes before gathering himself and rushing to the kitchen to make something--a cake, should it be okay but what if you're craving ramen instead..? Or something salty? SHIT

He's never been so frantic and panicked; he felt like a single mother raising 6 children...wait why does that sound familiar? ANYWAYS, no time for that.

It took about 2 hours for the whole thing to be prepared; while he had tasked satan to buy your favorite snacks. In the end, he was drenched in sweat from the whole last minute preparation that he did.

On the other hand, you were passed out on your bed; tears dried up on your face and slightly puffy lips and very gracelessly flopped onto your bed.

Belphegor's heart ached at the sight of you, he knew his words have been heard by someone who didn't deserve them. Who deserved love and not such cruel things.

"Love, wake up...c'mon its your birthday..." He voice was gentle as if a one wrong word could shatter you like glass and his hands caressed your cheeks; before kissing you passionately.

You rubbed your eyes as your boyfriend kissed your forehead and pulled you off of the bed. He was smothering you with kisses somewhat lazily; letting eachone feel feather like on your skin.

"Happy birthday my star, I'm sorry for what is said earlier...I promise you that I never meant any of it...I just--lost myself to anger, I'm sorry." He's efforts were visible in both his voice and your room; the blanket Fort certainly seemed impressive and most likely he had your favorite movie paused.

"It's not okay to speak such things about you're partner belphi on any day let alone their birthday. Yet I am much kinder than you think...I forgive you." You pouted with fake anger evident in your voice; playing pretend was fun as hr fell for your words in the beginning but definitely caught up in the end.

And as the day came to a close, you both were snuggled into each other's warmth and cuddling; the harsh words and hot tears forgotten or perhaps changed into smiles of contentment.

Afterall, belphegor was your dark sky and you were his star; without one the other would feel empty and out of place. He was the one who wanted to drown into the depths with you or burn with the passion he held for you...And both remain a pleasure to him...

--------------------------------------

A/n; I had no ideas for belphi and was abt to write he slept that it off like he was in a coma xD

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Anyways,

ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕒 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥 𝕕𝕒𝕪

[weemssapphic]

Hi how are you? I hope well! so i really like your writing actually ur my fav writer here on tumblr ;). So i had this idea for a fanfic by Miranda Hilmarson x reader. It was about Miranda being a traffic cop sometimes too and then she ends up giving the reader a ticket in one day and the reader gets really mad and even fights with Miranda, and then they end up meeting again, but what Miranda didn't know was that the reader would be her new boss!! From there I leave it to you, it can even be an enemies to lovers, you know.

I just had this silly idea, maybe you'll like it and I'd be super happy if you wrote it.💗

another thing! English is not my language, I'm literally writing this through Google translator so if something seems strange to you, you already know ☠️

A/N: thank you sooo much, that is so kind of you! I really liked this request and enjoyed writing it - it's my first time writing for Miranda so I really hope it's okay <3 just gonna post this and go hide now ahhhh

not your fault

Words: ~7.4k | ao3 link in title

Content/warnings: slight enemies to lovers, mentions of Adrian Butler (ugh), reader has a temper - poor Miranda is on the receiving end, mentions of cigarettes and alcohol, employee-boss relationship, angry Miranda, but also adorable puppy Miranda, nsfw (smut) - vaginal fingering, cunnilingus

“Are you fucking kidding me…” You groaned under your breath as you snatched up the little piece of paper stuck between your windshield wipers - a parking ticket. You were already running late thanks to your cat having puked all over your carpet that morning, and thanks to the barista at the coffee shop who’d taken ages with your latte - and now you were going to be even later.

You whipped your head around, looking for the officer who’d given you the ticket. A tall, blonde woman in a police uniform was strolling down the line of parked cars, handing out tickets to each one. The officer turned as you stomped over, eyes widening as you advanced on her until you were standing right in front of her. You had to crane your neck up to look at her - in any other situation, you might have found this insanely arousing, but right now you were far too pissed.

“Care to explain this?” You waved the paper in her face - she went slightly cross-eyed as her eyes followed your movements. 

“Uh, that’s a parking ticket, ma’am.” The officer swallowed visibly, taking a step back.

“I park here every goddamn day,” you hissed.

“I’m sorry…” She seemed a bit dazed and distracted for a moment as she regarded you, her eyes darting between your own, before straightening her posture and clearing her throat. “There’s, uh, a festival downtown this weekend, they’ve closed most of the parking zones until it’s over. There’s a sign at the start of the road.” She nodded her head over to a single sign set up at the next intersection, one that you had clearly missed in your rush.

You were seething, a billion arguments ready on your tongue, but the clock was ticking - and in the end, she was right, no matter how pissed you were.

“You know what, fucking forget it. I’m already running late! Thanks for nothing.” You stomped back to your car and crumpled up the parking ticket, tossing it on the passenger seat and groaning in frustration - the officer stood rooted to the spot, watching as you drove away.

~~~

Not wanting to get a speeding ticket in addition to your parking ticket, you took your time driving to the police station for your first day on the job. You’d just moved to Sydney to replace Adrian Butler as he left his position to “focus on his marriage” - you hadn’t even started yet and had already heard rumors of his extramarital affair with a constable. Men are pigs, you thought as you strode into the station and took the elevator up to the third floor, half an hour later than you’d planned.

The room was buzzing when you walked in but as soon as you cleared your throat and made your presence known, everyone went silent.

“I’ll spare you all the usual ‘first day’ speech - you should know who I am. I’m sure we’ll all get to know each other well over the course of the coming weeks, but for now I already have my hands full with everything that Detective Sergeant Butler so generously left for me.”

Your eyes landed on an empty desk near the center of the room. “Who usually sits there? Are they out sick?”

Some of the men began to snicker - one in particular answered your question. “Oh, that’s Hilmarson.” He smirked and took a sip from his coffee mug as he leaned against the side of the copy machine.

You raised an eyebrow. “And? Where is Constable Hilmarson?”

The elevator doors opened behind you and you turned around, eyes widening as you were confronted with the tall, blonde officer who’d given you a ticket. Her own shocked expression mirrored yours.

“That’d be her.” The man - Constable Brown, you’d later come to learn - chuckled, his smirk widening.

“Constable.” You glared pointedly at Constable Hilmarson. “My office, now.”

She frowned and followed you to the small office at the side of the room. You closed the door behind her and took a seat behind your new desk, gesturing for the officer to sit. She scrambled rather clumsily towards the chair and sat down, looking like a child about to be reprimanded.

“Constable Hilmarson, is it? Miranda?” You regarded her carefully. Her cheeks were rosy with embarrassment, her eyes wide as saucers. And, God, were they blue. They were mesmerizing. Miranda bobbed her head up and down in answer to your question, a bit of her pale blonde hair falling in her eye. She raised a hand to her head, dragging long fingers through her hair to brush it back - you had to physically shake your head to stop yourself from getting distracted by her movements.

“I like to be prepared, Constable. So I was having a look at your file the other day, you see, and I was under the impression that you are currently on a homicide case with Detective Griffin. Or am I mistaken?”

“Yes - I mean, no, you’re not mistaken.” Miranda shook her head furiously. 

“Then pray tell, Constable - why on earth did you spend your morning handing out fucking parking tickets?” You couldn’t keep the venom out of your voice as you questioned Miranda - something about her was pissing you off (or maybe it was just the fact that you hadn’t even been able to drink your coffee yet), and you were having trouble reigning in your emotions.

Miranda’s face was bright red and her hands shook slightly. “I lost a bet,” she mumbled, unable to meet your gaze.

“Louder.”

She cleared her throat, her eyes locking with yours. “I lost a bet. I had to take over Constable Brown’s duties for the morning.”

You sighed, raising a hand to pinch the bridge of your nose.

“I’m not here to play games. Do you understand that?” Your voice was sickly sweet, bordering on condescension - it was not lost on Miranda, who was starting to look like she wanted to argue.

Evidently, she thought better of it at the last second, for she simply nodded as she glowered at you.

“You’re here to do your job, not Constable Brown’s job. And I expect you to do your job well. So, seeing as you’ve not only made me late, wasted your entire morning, and wasted even more of my time with this silly conversation, I would appreciate it if you could get to work. Now.”

Miranda stood abruptly, sending a stack of papers flying from your desk as she stormed from the room. You rubbed your temples, wincing at the force with which she closed the door behind her - you were already starting to develop a headache, and it wasn’t even 10 am.

~~~

As the morning went on, you found yourself growing more and more agitated, unable to focus on anything. You realized as your stomach growled for the fourth (or was it the fifth?) time that, in your rush, you’d skipped breakfast. 

The second the clock hit 12 for your lunch break, you were on your feet. You’d have to work through much of your break to catch up, but you could afford to take a few minutes to grab a coffee and a granola bar from the vending machines in the lobby.

Passing by Miranda’s desk, you noticed that her chair was empty - the sight made your blood boil. You took a deep breath to calm yourself down - it was her lunch break, too, and she had every right to leave her desk during that time. Her messy, cluttered desk… You clenched your fists and headed for the elevator.

That wasn’t the only time her desk was empty, however. Throughout the afternoon, you would look up from your paperwork (you found that Adrian had been terrible at properly filing paperwork, making your job that much harder) every so often - and more times than not, the constable was nowhere in sight. With a frustrated sigh, you stood and strode over to open the window - you desperately needed the fresh air if you were going to make it home without strangling someone.

The sight of Miranda smoking a cigarette in the alley next to the station, just under your window, had you clenching your jaw, nostrils flaring. You couldn’t help yourself - you immediately headed towards the elevator and took rapid steps out of the station, rounding the corner and advancing on the constable, whose back was turned to you.

“Hilmarson!” you barked - Miranda flinched as she turned to face you.

“What did I do now? Am I not allowed to smoke or something?” She sounded agitated, and that made you even angrier.

“This is your fourth smoke break in the past two hours alone. If your habits are going to get in the way of your job, then I suggest you-”

“You know, you’re really stressing me out!” Miranda yelled back, gesticulating wildly as she spoke. “I’ll do my damned job, okay? You’re just really not making it easy.”

You laughed - it was hollow and sarcastic - and took a step closer to Miranda. Your face was inches away from hers now - this close, your eyes were drawn to her lips, soft and plush, trembling slightly with anger. A little scar adorned her top lip and your gaze lingered there for a moment, arousal pooling in your core - until Miranda brought the cigarette back to her mouth to take a drag.

Torn from your trance, you plucked it from her grip and dropped it to the ground, crushing it with your boot.

“Talk to me like that again and I’m sending you home for the rest of the day. Now get back upstairs.”

Miranda pushed roughly past you, her shoulder bumping into yours as she headed back into the station. You leaned against the wall and let out a loud groan, your eyes fluttering shut. Why was Miranda determined to make your day as difficult as humanly possible? 

With a heavy sigh, you opened your eyes and pushed off the wall, following the constable back inside.

~~~

Your second day on the job started out significantly better than your first. You managed to eat breakfast, get coffee, and make it to work on time, all without getting a parking ticket or arguing with a certain constable. Miranda had been at her desk when you’d walked past it and, mercifully, hadn’t said a word to you - though you could feel her eyes on you as you disappeared into your office.

When you left your office for your lunch break, you found the main office empty - you figured most of your officers were taking their lunch break as well. You strode over to the little kitchen, reaching for the handle when the door swung open in your face - your body colliding with a much taller one. You heard a gasp above you and looked up to see Miranda standing directly in front of you, eyes wide, mouth hanging open in shock.

It was then that you realized your shirt suddenly felt a bit wet - your eyes fell to the half-empty bowl in Miranda’s hand, then to your torso, which was covered in milk and little pieces of cereal.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me,” you growled, pushing past Miranda and ignoring the apologies that poured profusely from her mouth. You grabbed a fistful of paper towels and dabbed at your shirt, quickly realizing that it was no use - you’d have to get changed.

You spun around when you felt a hand on your arm, glaring up at Miranda who looked down at you apprehensively. At your furious expression, she pulled her hand away as if burned. “Do you need help?”

Sighing, you closed your eyes and attempted to reign in your temper. “No,” you grit out. “It’s fine, you’ve done enough. I just have to go home to get changed, I guess.”

“Well if you don’t have a shirt with you then you can borrow mine?”

Your eyes flew open, meeting Miranda’s soft gaze before flickering down to her torso. “W-what?”

“I mean, I have an extra shirt in my locker.” Miranda gestured back towards the elevator with her thumb, a faint smirk playing upon her lips - the fact that you had just basically ogled her chest was not lost on her, apparently.

You could feel your cheeks turn red and you looked down at your own shirt, clinging to your chest - it had turned slightly see-through, and you could see your bra through the thin fabric. The drive home would cost you your entire lunch break, and Miranda did owe you for this… You sighed heavily.

“Yeah, sure.”

Miranda smiled, her eyes lighting up and crinkling at the outer corners - it was the first time you’d seen her properly smile, and it was beautiful. She crossed the kitchen and peered out the door into the office.

“The coast is clear,” she said with a grin, gesturing for you to follow her. You rolled your eyes and the two of you headed down to the empty locker rooms.

“I always bring something to change into after work,” Miranda supplied as she busied herself with opening her locker. “It might be a bit big on you but at least nobody will be able to see your bra.”

You started to unbutton your shirt, feeling Miranda’s eyes on you as you did so. It was hard to focus with the constable in such close proximity - you struggled with the buttons as you found yourself growing more and more flustered.

“Here, let me help,” she murmured, and before you could stop her, her hands were on the buttons of your shirt. Her fingers brushed against the swell of your chest, just above the fabric of your bra, and you shivered visibly, your mouth going dry.

“T-thanks but I got it,” you mumbled, gently pushing Miranda’s hand away. “Could you turn around?”

Miranda furrowed her brow, her face flushing. “Oh, sorry!” She placed a baby blue t-shirt on the bench next to you, then turned and studied the bare wall with great interest as you got changed.

“You can turn around again,” you said, clearing your throat. Miranda did as she was told, her eyes getting stuck on your chest for a moment before meeting your gaze. Your anger had all but dissipated, replaced with an unfamiliar and somewhat unsettling tension as you looked at Miranda, your stomach flipping.

“Uh, thanks,” you whispered. “For the shirt.”

Miranda’s lips curled up into a smile. “Yeah, of course. You know, I’m really excited to have another woman on the force. Last night I was looking into your case in Auckland before you got promoted - I talked to Robin about it, even she was impressed.”

For once, you were left speechless. For all the crap you’d given Miranda since meeting her, she seemed so genuine and excited to be speaking with you in that moment - you could feel yourself get flustered again, and all you could do was nod your head as she spoke.

“Oh, my lunch break is over so I have to go meet Robin but, uh, I’ll see you later, yeah?”

You nodded absentmindedly, stuck on the way Miranda’s hands moved as she spoke and the brightness of her eyes. She shot you one last grin before turning and taking long strides out of the locker rooms, leaving you to stand there in a daze, holding your wet shirt.

~~~

It was finally Friday and you’d been invited to go to the bar for drinks after work to celebrate the end of your first week - you stood in the lobby of the station, waiting for Robin to join your group before heading out. 

Since the little cereal incident, you were trying to actively avoid thinking about, looking at, or talking to Miranda, but she was making that damned near impossible. When you’d returned her shirt back to her, freshly washed, she made sure to allow her fingers to brush against yours, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. She wasn’t at her desk much throughout the day, off investigating leads with Robin, and for that you were grateful - but every time you saw her desk, littered with empty takeout containers, paperwork, coffee mugs, you felt a twinge of annoyance, followed by a sinking feeling of guilt that you couldn’t quite place. As a result, you spent much more time than you wanted sitting at your desk, dissecting your feelings for the blonde but coming up empty.

The door to the station opened and a civilian walked in with a small goldendoodle on a leash. A gasp sounded to your right and you couldn’t help yourself - your eyes followed the sound just in time to see Miranda crouch down and extend her arms towards the dog, which jumped excitedly up at her, trying to lick her face. 

You couldn’t tell who was more excited about the interaction - Miranda, or the dog. The blonde was letting out little squeals of delight, cooing at the dog as she buried her fingers in its fur.

“Pull yourself together, Constable,” you grumbled, annoyed mostly at yourself for the way your stomach was reacting to the sight of Miranda cuddling the dog. It was childish and unprofessional… You most definitely did not think it was cute. Not even a little bit, no… You blushed and looked away as Miranda stood up, missing the look of disappointment in her puppy-like eyes.

After that, though, you found you couldn’t even enjoy getting drinks with your colleagues - your mind was going in circles and you were unable to shake off this weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. You sat at a booth near the back of the bar, nursing a beer as everyone around you joked around and slowly got drunk. 

You couldn’t keep your gaze from wandering towards Miranda, who was seated at the opposite end of the table. She sipped her beer, smiling occasionally at something one of the others said - your eyes, once again, got stuck on her smile. The upward quirk of her lips, the subtle scrunch of her nose, the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. When she caught you staring, however, she quickly looked away, the smile sliding right off her face.

It affected you more than you would care to let on - as soon as her smile was gone, you wished for it back - desperately. And it was stupid, really - she’d somehow managed to sour your mood every single day this week, and yet your body was reacting to her in ways you hadn’t felt in a long time. With a sigh, you drained your beer and ordered a second one - this was going to be a long night.

~~~

If you’d thought your second week on the job would start better than the first, well - you’d quickly find out just how wrong you were.

Monday morning started like any other - you strode into the office with your coffee to-go cup, passing by Miranda’s empty desk. There was a half-empty bowl of cereal at the edge, stacks of manila folders and paperwork strewn over the surface, an empty, crumpled paper bag from the local bakery that had been tossed unceremoniously onto the computer keyboard. It stirred up a twinge of annoyance in you, but you tried your best to shake off the feeling.

Looking up and seeing the blonde standing at the coffee machine in the kitchen, you quickly averted your gaze and hurried to your office.

Your mind began to wander as you answered your emails and a flash of blonde through the window in your office caught your eye. Miranda walked back to her seat, a mug in her hand. She reached her desk and distractedly looked up, talking enthusiastically with Robin as she placed the mug down on a teetering pile of papers.

You looked on in horror as the pile slowly toppled over, spilling coffee all over her desk - you couldn’t bear to watch anymore, dropping your head into your hands in frustration as you heard Miranda let out a gasp.

Not my problem, you thought, trying to take steadying breaths. It wasn’t your desk that she’d spilled her coffee on, after all. 

You stood and made your way to your office door, calling out for Robin.

“Yeah?”

“Did you manage to get a copy of the autopsy results already? I really need them.”

Robin shifted slightly from foot to foot, a frown growing on her face - you really didn’t like the look of that.

“Actually, I sent Miranda to get them this morning.”

Raising an eyebrow, you looked past Robin at her colleague, who was frantically wiping up the spilled coffee from her desk. “Hilmarson, can I get those autopsy results?”

Miranda looked up, freezing in her movements. Her eyes darted between you and her desk and her cheeks were rapidly turning pink. “They, uh… Got a bit soggy.” She strode over to you with a piece of paper in her hand. You took it gingerly, a look of disgust forming on your face as the entire thing was brown and dripping wet.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” you growled. Miranda shrugged sheepishly and muttered out an apology - you glared at her in return. “I need you to get me a fresh copy by this afternoon.”

Miranda opened her mouth to speak but you interrupted her, balling your hand into a fist and crumpling up the paper, tossing it on her desk. “And tidy your fucking desk like a grown up,” you snarled.

Miranda’s face was red as she turned sharply on her heel and stormed out of the office, taking large strides towards the elevators and disappearing from view. 

“She grows on you,” Robin supplied quietly, watching you watch Miranda. You snorted.

“I doubt it.” Your stomach churned uncomfortably even as you said those words. Why did this woman have such an effect on you?

“She’s been having a rough time, ever since the breakup with Adrian.” Your eyes widened at this piece of information - you’d known about Adrian’s affair, of course, but you’d never thought it would be with Miranda. “They were going to have a baby together, you know.”

You coughed, choking on your own saliva. “They what?” You couldn’t picture Miranda as a mother - she was far too clumsy and chaotic… and goofy. And generous. Okay, maybe you could picture it, a little bit. Your stomach churned uncomfortably - you didn’t know the details of the affair, but breakups were rough - you’d moved across the country after your last breakup. You suddenly felt ashamed for being such a bitch to her. 

“Yeah, well…” You cleared your throat awkwardly. “I have a lot of work to do, so if you don’t mind…” You forced a smile and Robin raised her eyebrows, nodding and leaving you be. You tried to focus after that but you couldn’t, your mind wandering quite insistently to a certain constable. Guilt began to gnaw at your insides after having been so harsh with her. You’d have to - you wanted to - apologize for your behavior.

You locked yourself in your office and finished replying to your emails. Even half an hour later, Miranda was still not at her desk - nor was she in the kitchen, the locker rooms, or the alley under your window. You finally found her behind the station, looking out over the water and smoking a cigarette. 

��Hey,” you called, your heart clenching when you saw Miranda flinch as she turned to face you.

“Oh fuck. Look, I’m sorry, okay, I-”

“I’m the one who should apologize. Robin told me it was you.”

Miranda’s face scrunched up in confusion. She dropped her cigarette and took a step towards you. “Sorry?”

“You know, with Adrian.”

Recognition flooded Miranda’s features and she dropped her gaze to the pavement. “Oh.” She let out a hollow chuckle and turned again, walking towards the water and lowering herself to sit at the edge. You followed and took a seat next to her, leaving a healthy distance between the two of you. 

“Men are pigs, you know?” Miranda said after a moment’s silence. A loud snort escaped your lips, causing Miranda to laugh - you hadn’t heard her laugh so freely before, but it made your heart soar and you thought it might be your new favorite sound in the world. It wasn’t quite melodic, not necessarily akin to birdsong - it was loud and unabashed and very Miranda, and for some reason you found you really liked that. You couldn’t help but laugh, too.

“You’re alright, you know that, Hilmarson?” you said with a grin, gently bumping your shoulder into hers. Miranda’s laughter slowly died out but the smile remained on her face, accompanied by a faint blush.

“Thanks. You are, too.”

~~~

“Hilmarson.” You slung your jacket over your shoulder as you strode past Miranda’s desk the following day around noon. Her eyes grew wide and she dropped the pen she was holding, straightening her posture. “Come with me.”

Miranda scrambled to get up, slipping her phone into her pocket and following you to the elevators and out of the building. 

“Where are we going?” she asked, confusion evident in her tone as she scurried after you. You bypassed the parking lot, heading down the street instead.

“You’ll see,” you said with a smirk, wordlessly offering Miranda a cigarette. She fumbled around in her pocket for a lighter but you were quicker, holding up your own. “Hold still,” you murmured, holding the lighter up to her cigarette and lighting it for her, your eyes catching on the way her long, slender fingers held it, as if it were a delicate thing. 

Your destination was a nearby coffee shop, and you held the door open for Miranda to step through. “After you,” you purred, smirking at Miranda’s wide eyes. After a moment’s hesitation, she scrambled into the cafe, waiting awkwardly for you at the counter.

“It’s on me,” you said before ordering yourself a latte and a sandwich. “Get anything you like.”

Minutes later, you were sitting together at a little table in the corner.

“Look,” you started with a sigh. Miranda tilted her head. “Can we start over? I haven’t exactly been fair to you. You aren’t the reason I was late last week. I was angry and took it out on you, and that was really shitty of me.”

“I did spill cereal all over your shirt, though,” Miranda murmured with a sheepish grin, her cheeks turning adorably rosy.

“Yeah. Yeah, you did,” you said with a laugh. “That’s not the point, though. You’re too good to let yourself get walked all over, you know that?”

Miranda shrugged, unable to fully meet your gaze and focusing instead on her panini, out of which she took a huge bite.

“Not by me, not by Constable Brown, not by Adrian - you’re a solid officer and you have potential, you just need to stand your ground more.”

“Oh god,” Miranda spoke through a full mouth, her voice slightly garbled, her eyes wide. “Is this a performance review or something?”

You laughed, your stomach flipping as her blush deepened. “No. I just…” You hesitated, biting your lip and looking away. I just really like you. “I just wanted to apologize. I want us to work together, not against each other.”

“Really?” Miranda grinned, her eyes sparkling - the hope written across her face nearly made your heart stop, and you nodded. “I was so scared when I found out you were my new boss. I really thought you hated me.”

“I did, too,” you said with a laugh. “But… for the record, I don’t. I hope you don’t hate me.” 

Miranda’s cheeks puffed out as she chewed and she smiled widely. “I don’t.”

~~~

Ever since your lunch “date”, your feelings for Miranda were only growing. Your heart skipped a beat when you caught sight of her at the station, your stomach fluttered when you heard her voice. You even found yourself timing your smoke breaks with hers, just so you would have an excuse to chat with her and bask in her presence.

The following Friday at the bar, Miranda chose to sit down next to you. She placed a beer in front of you and offered you a wide smile - you felt your face flush as you muttered out an uncharacteristically shy “thank you”.

The two of you listened to your colleagues talk and banter - or rather, perhaps Miranda was listening, but you definitely weren’t. You were far too focused on the constable and your close proximity to one another; the way her shoulder bumped yours every so often, the way her hand flexed around her beer bottle, the way her throat bobbed whenever she took a sip.

Miranda laughed, throwing her head back, her shoulders shaking. She looked to the side, meeting your gaze - you couldn’t help but grin giddily back at her, chuckling a bit, and you could see her cheeks turn red as she returned your grin. 

After your third beer, you started to feel a little daring - you placed your hand gingerly on her thigh, your touch feather light as you were afraid of crossing a line. To your surprise, Miranda placed her own hand on top of yours - it was warm and soft and large, and you could feel your pulse pick up as her long fingers curled slightly around yours. When you dared to steal a glance in her direction, you could see a soft smile playing upon her lips.

~~~

“Hey.” A low voice coming from the doorway to your office caused you to look up from your laptop. A smile involuntarily spread across your face seeing Miranda leaning awkwardly against the doorframe, her hands clasped behind her back.

“Hi,” you replied - Miranda hadn’t come into your office proactively since you’d started working at the station, but you supposed a lot had changed in the past few days. “Do you need something?”

Miranda shook her head. “No, I, uh, I actually wanted to ask if you’d want to come over to my place for a beer or something tonight?”

“Oh.” A swarm of butterflies erupted in your stomach at the prospect of spending one-on-one time with the blonde - who was looking increasingly like she was about to throw up, the longer you took to reply. “Yeah, yes, I would love to.”

Miranda’s eyes widened. “Okay, great. I’ll send you my address. How’s 7?”

“7 is perfect,” you said with a growing blush, chuckling as Miranda rushed back to her desk to grab her phone - your own phone pinged with a text moments later: an address.

~~~

You showed up promptly at 7, your heart pounding fiercely against your ribcage as you knocked on the door to Miranda’s apartment.

The door swung open to reveal the tall blonde, wearing the blue shirt she’d loaned you after spilling cereal all over you, as well as a pair of shorts. 

“Blue is definitely your color,” you said before you could stop yourself. It really was, though - it brought out the blues of her eyes, making them shine and sparkle against her pale skin. 

“Thank you,” Miranda said with a laidback grin, gesturing for you to enter her apartment. It surprised you to see that it wasn’t as messy as you’d have assumed it to be - it was definitely lived in, but it was clean and had very home-y vibes. More than anything, the first thing you noticed was the smell. It smelled like Miranda - light and clean, but with the faint scent of cigarettes clinging to the air. Her shirt had smelled like that, too, when you’d borrowed it, and though you never would have admitted it back then, you’d buried your nose in the fabric more than once before begrudgingly washing and returning it.

Miranda offered you a beer and guided you to her living room, settling on the couch and motioning for you to join her. The couch was relatively small and though you tried to leave some space between you, your knee ended up pressing lightly against Miranda’s thigh.

Despite your nerves, it somehow felt right to be in her space. You felt as though you were able to see a whole new side to Miranda - a side that you really liked. As the two of you engaged in some timid small-talk, you couldn’t help but wonder why she’d invited you - you hoped it was for the same reason that you’d said yes.

“God, I was so nervous to ask you to come over,” Miranda said with a cackle, shaking her head at herself before taking a swig of her beer.

“Were you?” The thought amused you greatly, and it gave you a shot of confidence. You dropped your voice an octave and leaned forward. “Do I make you nervous?”

Miranda looked like a deer caught in headlights, her eyes widening. Your eyes flicked briefly to her lips, to her wet, pink tongue darting out to lick them, and you found yourself leaning even closer. 

“What would you do if I kissed you right now?” you murmured, scanning Miranda’s face for any sign of discomfort. Miranda’s pupils dilated and her lips parted slightly.

“I would kiss you back,” she whispered, her gaze landing on your lips.

“Yeah?” you whispered back with a smile. Miranda nodded slowly.

“Uh-huh.” 

You closed the gap, your lips meeting hers - she tasted like beer and cigarettes, and her lips were impossibly soft. She kissed you back eagerly, whimpering a little as your tongue darted out over her lower lip.

You pulled back, your cheeks covered in a light blush.

“I’m sorry, I hope that wasn’t-” you started, but Miranda interrupted you with a second kiss, this one deeper and hungrier than the first as her hands grabbed your cheeks, holding you in place. Her tongue licked greedily at the seam of your lips, which you immediately parted for her. You let out a deep groan as her tongue slipped into your mouth, dancing with yours in near-desperation.

“You taste so good,” Miranda moaned, her voice low and sultry, and desire pooled in your core.

“Mmmh,” was all you could reply as your hands gripped at Miranda’s waist and you swung your leg over her lap to straddle her. Her hands slid down to your waist, then your hips, then came to rest on top of your thighs. She gave them a squeeze and you found yourself involuntarily grinding your pelvis into her lap, her touch sending your body into overdrive.

“Oh, fuck,” you whispered, Miranda swallowing your words as your bodies pressed against each other, a steady and suffocating heat building between the two of you.

The constable’s hands slipped under your ass and she turned you onto your back - breaking the kiss only briefly to position herself above you. One of her knees came to rest between your legs and she pushed it against your core, drawing a groan from your throat. The pressure was delicious against your aching sex and you bucked your hips to get some much-needed relief.

Miranda’s lips left your own and began to trail down your chin, your throat, your chest, stopping at the top button of your shirt - hot, wet, needy. She lifted her head and you looked down to meet her gaze - her pupils were blown wide with lust, her cheeks gorgeously flushed, her hair tousled.

“We- fuck,” you started breathily, finding it almost impossible to think as Miranda’s knee pressed against your clit. “We should slow down.”

Miranda nodded, her eyes widening and her cheeks bright red as she reluctantly pulled her leg away from your cunt. You bit down on your lower lip to stop a whine from slipping out at the loss of friction.

The constable settled half on top of you, leaning against the back of the couch and propping her head up on her arm. She closed her eyes as she tried to steady her heavy, ragged breathing. “Right. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” you whispered, your voice hoarse with want. “I just don’t want to take advantage of you.”

Miranda’s eyes snapped open and she met your gaze, a slow, easy grin spreading across her face. “You’re not. I want this.”

“I don’t think I just want this,” you mumbled, closing your eyes and swallowing hard. “I want you.” 

“I want you, too.”

You opened your eyes and met Miranda’s bright, eager gaze, searching her face for any hint of doubt or hesitation. “Are you sure?”

Miranda nodded and you lunged forward, your lips crashing into hers as your hand snaked its way around the back of her head, holding her in place. Your fingers threaded through her hair - it felt like silk under your skin.

Your other hand settled on her waist, tugging her on top of you - her body weight pressed you down into the couch and you groaned at the feeling. You needed more, you wanted more, so your hands found the hem of Miranda’s t-shirt and you slipped underneath it. Her bare skin was impossibly smooth, and you felt electricity coursing through your body at the feeling of her soft hips in your hands. Your hands found their way up her back and you raked your nails over the expanse of it, pleased with the hungry growl that escaped Miranda’s lips.

Finding the clasp of her bra, you unclipped it, slipping a hand around to the front of her torso and under the loose fabric to palm her breast. She grasped desperately at your waist as your warm palm rubbed over her nipple, rolling it into a hard peak. Miranda let out a breathy sigh and sat up, straddling your waist and pulling her shirt off. Her bra followed, and both were discarded on the floor behind the couch. 

You felt the air leave your lungs as you stared up at Miranda - your mouth going dry. Her rosy nipples contrasted against her pale skin, her abdomen rippled with every heaving breath that she took. You couldn’t help but reach out and touch her, caressing her hips, her stomach, her breasts - flicking your thumbs over her pert nipples and watching them harden further.

Sitting up, you hungrily took one of the rosy buds into your mouth, sucking greedily and soothing your tongue over it as you felt Miranda’s hands thread through your hair. You repeated the process on her other nipple, thoroughly pleased with yourself when Miranda let out a soft, breathy moan - one that was so deliciously pornographic that you felt a wave of arousal course through you, your panties growing damp.

You released Miranda’s nipple, your hands drifting down to the buckle of her belt and making quick work of undoing it. Miranda took the hint, removing her pants in a hurry and then focusing her attention on your own clothes. Your own shirt was unbuttoned and tossed aside in an instant, your pants tugged down your legs and dropped onto the floor with the rest of the clothing.

Miranda’s bare skin was hot against your own and you pulled her back down on top of you, your pussy throbbing as her nipples brushed against yours. You kissed her with hunger and passion, your left hand palming her ass as your right hand found its way between your bodies to cup her pussy over her underwear.

The constable groaned, immediately grinding against your hand - you noticed that she’d soaked through the thin cotton of her underwear. You pulled the fabric aside and curled your fingers against the length of her slit, letting out a gasp as you felt her dripping for you.

“I need you,” she whined, shuddering as your fingers explored her folds - letting out a strangled whimper when you smeared her wetness over her clit and began to draw lazy circles over the bundle of nerves.

Miranda turned out to be as loud as she was sensitive - you found it easy to bring her to the edge, time and time again, your fingers applying a gentle pressure to her clit and pumping easily in and out of her, her slick walls drawing your digits in and clenching tightly around them. Her unabashed moans filled the air, echoing off the walls of the living room and having you wondering - only briefly, though - how thick those walls were.

After her fifth orgasm, when the stimulation finally became too much for her, Miranda whimpered and shifted her pelvis away from you. Taking the hint, you pulled your hand out of her underwear, your fingers shining with her arousal. You lifted them to Miranda’s face, smirking when she immediately opened her mouth and allowed you to place your fingers on her tongue. She sucked them clean, her flushed cheeks hollowing out, her kiss-swollen lips wrapped around your knuckles. 

You leaned forward to kiss her as she released your fingers, eager to taste the remnants of her orgasm on her tongue. The taste was heavenly - you were almost sorry that Miranda was so overstimulated - you’d have given everything to go down on her.

She pulled back from the kiss, her hot, heavy breath ghosting over your face as she rested her forehead against your own, trying to steady her breathing. A bead of sweat had collected on her forehead and you reached up to wipe it away, tucking a strand of mussed hair behind her ear. It was too short, of course, and immediately fell back into her face - it made you smile, and Miranda smiled - no, beamed - back, her eyes sparkling.

“I hope that wasn’t too much,” you whispered into the silence - Miranda blushed and shook her head no. Her fingers danced along the waistband of your underwear, lightly at first as she leaned in for a languid kiss. Then her fingers curled under the waistband and began tugging, her lips trailing down your jaw, your throat, your sternum, your stomach - soft, warm, wet, hungry. She tugged your underwear down your legs, her lips immediately replacing the fabric as she pressed kisses to your mound, to your inner thighs - finally disappearing between your legs. 

You felt her tongue lap hungrily at your folds, little noises of pleasure coming from between your thighs and vibrating against your cunt. It was both adorable and extremely hot at the same time, how eagerly Miranda ate you out - sloppy, yet determined (and very skilled, you noted mentally, letting out a filthy groan as her lips latched onto your clit, her tongue flicking at the sensitive little bundle).

By the time Miranda was finished with you, your thighs were trembling and your breathing was ragged. The constable pressed one final kiss to your clit, before sitting up and grinning goofily down at you. Her chin was coated in your slick and her cheeks were flushed, and you couldn’t help but loop an arm around her neck and pull her close, licking your own arousal off her face before meeting her lips in a slow, sensual kiss.

After what felt like hours holding each other, kissing and regaining your breaths, you felt your eyes begin to grow heavy and you sighed.

“I should probably get going,” you murmured, your voice slightly hoarse.

“Yeah - of course.” Miranda blushed as she pushed herself off you. “Can you just wait here?”

You nodded, furrowing your brows as the constable stood and walked out of the room. You heard the tap running, then she came back with a wet washcloth.

“Is it okay if I…” Her eyes darted down between your legs as she took a seat next to you.

It was your turn to blush. “Yeah, that’s okay. Thanks.”

Miranda cleaned you up with great care, being extra gentle as she soothed the washcloth over your clit. When she was done, you got dressed in silence, then allowed Miranda to walk you to the door. She paused with her hand on the doorknob.

“Would you want to…” she trailed off, not quite able to meet your gaze.

“Are you busy Saturday? Would you like to go on a date with me?” You couldn’t help but smile as Miranda’s eyes widened and she began to nod, a look of relief washing over her face as her lips curled upwards.

“Yeah - I’m not busy, I would love to.”

“Good.” You smirked, leaning in to press your lips to Miranda’s - her breath hitched in her chest. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

You turned to leave, exiting the apartment and walking down the hall. Turning around to wave goodbye, you could see Miranda smiling as her head poked out from behind the door. 

That night, you fell asleep with a soft smile on your face and a warmth in your belly - already mentally planning your date.

x

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[ceasarslegion]

Ive made my stance on oppenheimer discourse very clear but one detail of it that really bothers me is the "movies about sad white men are always bad" attitude, and i didnt really know why until i was able to sit down and parse it out.

Here's the thing. I have a film degree, I've spent more time in movie theaters than I have sleeping and I've easily seen more films and shows than all of my peers combined. Which isn't a flex btw, I'm a little hermit who prefers the warm embrace of a cinema seat to human connection and is the most annoying mfer imaginable during family movie night; don't be like me.

But I know hollywood, I know cinema history, and I know the legitimate frustration this attitude comes from. Hollywood doesn't like to take risks, they have to historically be dragged kicking and screaming into any territory that isn't a guaranteed profit, which usually means that we get periods of stagnation where every film is the same goddamn formula over and over again until audiences get sick of it and stop buying tickets en masse. Hollywood also tends to reflect the dominant culture and the sociopolitical issues of the time, but not SOOO much that you'd rock the boat. As an exec, you wanna hit that sweet spot where audiences relate to your films without them being so blatant that they'd cause them to question things that weren't acceptable to question. Noir was a picture-perfect example of that.

And in the modern day, that DOES tend to translate into the weird genre of Sad White Man Who Regrets Killing Foreigners movies. Like American Sniper. But I've seen American Sniper, so I can speak on how lowkey disturbing I found it, and the history it's based in and the goals it had as an art piece were to make you sympathize with a system of corruption. And here's my unpopular opinion: if done RIGHT, those films still have a place within the cinematic sphere of influence, like if you made a film exploring the psyche and experiences of what leads a man to willingly participate in a system like that, but that's not really what it was.

Now let's move onto Oppenheimer and other films like it. I don't think these films are at ALL equivalent to films like American Sniper, even if they follow a sad white man who regrets killing foreigners. You are looking at the bare bones surface level of it and assuming its contents both real world and dramatized and judging it based on that instead of the, well, actual film.

One of the biggest differences here is that Oppenheimer WAS an important historical figure just, objectively. Even removing all western racial influence from the equation, you can not look me in the eyes and tell me that the man who invented the atomic bomb in the middle of the largest world war of modern history was not an important historical figure. If you try to make THAT argument just based on the sad white man-ness of him, I'm sorry but your point is already moot, because it's not based in historical fact anymore but your own personal subjective feelings. He IS an important historical figure, he's not soldier number 648 in the middle of a massive battlefield who followed other peoples orders.

And also to be completely honest, you are a huge fucking liar if you try to claim that people like Dr. Oppenheimer are not interesting. Flawed people who make flawed decisions with complicated variables are what make for good fiction, so when one exists in the historical record, of course they are going to interest people. They are going to be studied and interviewed if they're still alive and have their entire lives and every word they said picked apart and analyzed because they are interesting. You are straight up lying if you try to act like these people arent interesting enough on their own to have media made about them, regardless of what identity they had that fits into the opposing side of the 21st centure culture wars. This attitude reminds me a lot of the people who claim that the only reason anybody could find true crime interesting is because they MUST want to fuck jeffrey dahmer or whatever. The argument just doesnt hold up because all it takes is one person going "thats not what i find interesting about them" to collapse that entire absolutist argument.

So yes, hollywood absolutely has a racism and war glorification issue. But I take issue when these accusations are just made blindly against any historical dramatization based on nothing but the poster. If you're going to talk about hollywoods sad white men issue, at least make sure the films youre citing actually fit that bill AND that you actually understand whats WRONG with those sad white men movies, because its not just the presence of a sad white male protagonist, its a conglomerate of various sociopolitical issues that must be present within those characters and what they represent.

[mdverse]

md's fun silly little top 10(ish) arts of the 2023!*

*pretend there's a fun cute doodled banner here (i was going to make one earlier and then i forgor)

doing a lil recap of my top 10 15 (it was supposed to be 10 and i could not narrow it down oops) best(? this is subjective as fuck i guess it's more like my personal faves) drawings of the year! *the crowd cheers* (it’s me I’m the crowd)

15: paradise by the dashboard light! i hate to rank her so low bc i spent ages on her but it seems i don't love the result that much anymore so :/ a for effort for me tho this was ambitious

14: cheer girl loml <33 not my best art technically by far but i went way out of my comfort zone for the background and the art style (for no good reason really) (i just wanted to do a comic book thing bc superhero vibes or whatever) (it did not come out the way i was hoping it would bc i think i got too frustrated) and we simply must acknowledge that. atog did things to me that i cannot explain

13: barbie meme brittana! not my best britt but truly sooo fun to work on. there's nothing quite like finding a fun rendering process and then never using it again (i don't even remember how i coloured this but i like it)

12: cowboy barbie brittana <3 they look good, they're about to kiss, cute outfits, pretty sunset, probably went overboard with the rim lighting, what's not to love? a banger, i think

11: i say a little prayer! i think the background is. questionable at best. but this is still really fun! i think i got possessed when i got to the uniforms bc goddamn they look good

10: klaine?? on this blog???? almost unheard of lmao i truly did not think i would like this one as much as i did. i'd consider ranking it higher if i wasn't constantly Unwell over brittana but again, i'm biased, and no one here should be surprised about that

9: pre-wedding kiss my beloved! with how insane i've been over this kiss it could perhaps be higher. i am gnawing on my desk as we speak i'm not even sitting at a desk rn

8: rutherchang x black swan!! ohhh u guys i don't talk about this one enough i think it's so pretty i don't even remember how i did the colours for it but rhgfdkngd?? love her, love pushing the glee x bts agenda, if any of u gifmakers are interested in making a mike chang x black swan lyric gifset i will love u forever

7: colour wheel challenge! busted my whole tiddies and ass for this one fellas. labour of love etc etc i think staring at the bright colours for so long made my eyesight worse and i'm ok with that

6: mistletoe brittana <33 easily the best instalment of this series by a long shot! recency bias (and also just. regular bias) made me rank her much higher originally but technically she is not the most intricate piece so she must sit down here

5: prom queen kurt! dare i say a girlslay on my behalf? i think i dare. every time i see it i think i should do more glosters (glee posters) and then i don't. i could tho they would be really cool (source: dude trust me)

4: churro kiss redraw!!! genuinely Not Sane over this! never have been, never will be! redraws are like crack to me and so is this kiss

3: furtana!! i neglected them for far too long this year but if neglecting them results in art like this i may have to do it again

2: heart kiss <3 if we're being really honest and vulnerable in the chat tonight i think this is technically my best of the brittana kiss screencap redraw things i've done this year? which i did not see coming but i guess practice means refining the process etc etc so. it makes sense ig. mwah to them <3

1: black or white gcv animation <3 it's not what i would call my best drawing (bc it's, yknow, not just one drawing) but it is what i would call the product of a very obsessive thought and some frantic art sessions. objectively it's the coolest thing i've done this year so it deserves the top spot. i'm proud of it i hope to glanimate more next year. also this isn't art but it's a relevant post that i still stand by months later

[wintersoldeer]

ok i wasn't going to make a post but i do have feelings about until dawn remake that didn't fit under the tags of one reblog

im 15 mins in someone's playtrough of the remake and im still not too impressed BUT ohh my god they changed my least favourite line ("wHeRe's mY SiSTer GoInG?") and i might just have to forgive them everything for that

other than that so far: the people look terrible (like the graphics look nice, but as people...... they don't look like themselves to me.... also. very dark – i cant see anything but that might just be the streamer's settings idk) the longer intro is sooo awkward without any new dialogue. might be the streamer mode with no music tho idk. but goddamn i don't agree with sam's new role in the prank or see why they changed note (i've always thought it was wild that hannah would just start by taking her shirt of, but now it's just.... why exactly does she??) and i miss the fixed camera but that might be just because im not playing im just watching sucks to be chris in the morning with all that on his face...... not the situation where you want to look like that

ok i'll keep watching and liveblog

it is so dark that if i hadn't seen this game being played about 39204932 times before, i wouldn't have any idea what's going on::'D i love the snow falling from the frees tho no subtlety with the fire here i see ::'D

they made the creepy scarecrow postcard look downright pleasant?? it's so darrrrk/there's so much contrast you can't even tell if dr hill's office has cool things on the background

ok i am very into the new intro

sam on the bus looks so good.... but something is off with josh's video?? the movement?? the face?? something???

still no clarification on whether josh wants to party like they are fucking porn stars or party like they're fucking porn stars

did they move this game from february to like april since the sun is still out in the beginning?? they also made the time earlier but im pretty sure that's still a couple of hours too late..... and i take my winter darkness very seriously (but like. the nice atmospheric dark of the original) it's very pretty tho

it feels very.... video game-y now. with the new graphics and especially with the moving camere.

interesting that jess is now mike's girlfriend instead of mike's new girlfriend, an em is now matt's girlfriend instead of mike's ex and same with mike and matt

oh noo the snow ball fight without music is horrible:::'D

oh nooo the sun is finally and very quickly setting i can't seeee anything

doctor hill has a swedish flag on his desk 😂😂

i am not a gamer. but. is the hunting around for a premonition on a totem.... fun? seems like a frustrating waste of time

ok i am an hour and twenty minutes in (chris wandering around the lodge) and i'm seriously considering on just giving up and watching another (third.. this week..) original game let's play instead. mainly because it's so damn dark that it's not pleasant to look at. the flashlight (or lighter or torch or whatever) is for pointing out glinting things, it's not supposed to be the only light source! one of the things that keeps drawing me back to this game year after year is how pretty and atmospheric it is, and the remake... is not delivering.

but at least they don't leave the window upstairs open anymore! that has been bothering me for years

ok i cant do this i give up!! i'd like to continue bc the streamer seems cool, but iii cannot see anything. i'll skip through some random scenes and mourn what could've been and maybe watch another let's play of the original... there might be one or two on the internet that i haven't yet seen

like look at this!! who is that?? where is he??? i wouldn't know

[xannerz]

ElJellyBeeTea griping ahead

granted, i could be saying this b/c i've been in a really negative/frustrated headspace lately - and b/c i've been forced into coming out to my mom 3x within the past week b/c she's caught on, won't leave me tf alone, and yo-yos between denial and panic - but i really cannot relate with people who treat coming out as some cathartic, bombastic, celebratory thing. ik there's the backdrop of queer liberation; i also see the value in Pride and i'd like to enjoy that one day (again?).

i'm not trying to dismiss that. this is 100% my own bitterness and fatigue from feeling isolated within my own family, and not meant to police how others be Queer or w/e but like. goddamn. there are a million bi bitches in the world. leave me alone. stop staring at me like you found my corpse in a drug den. this shouldnt be a big deal. fuck.

i told her i want us to go to therapy together because i'm sick of this shit. mothers are exceptional at making you feel like you're a child when you're nearly 30. immigrant mothers esp.

anyway, again. i'm just really cranky atm and my sentiments will probably change in time. i probably dont even mean what i'm saying deep down but also whooo gives a fuck LMFAO.

but anyway idk. i've been living on autopilot for most of this year. this is so fucking stupid. the pearl-clutching around queerness is so overblown and i need my mom to stop being so dramatic about it.

this came up w my dad recently, and i was being dodgy when he asked about my orientation. the most he said was that he's relieved i'm straight b/c it's traditional in our culture, and life would be harder if i was Gay. honestly if my 67 y/o dad from ir*n could ultimately get over it though then so can my mom. fuckin. they dont have to like it but they should love me. this is so stupid.

i've felt like more of the parent in this house because i've had to be for a long time, and i'm just. tired. and i'm sick of my mom feeling this sense of entitlement to live her dreams through me. no, i wont be a lawyer. no, i wont marry a rich dentist and settle down in the hills. i dont! fucking care. fuck!

"i feel like i'm losing you/ i want to you to follow the right path"

why are you sooo dramatiiiic ohhh my goDfjlksjdfLSDFSDLfkj LMAO

fuck!

[luciferfemme]

not to sound like an old™ but the way apps become UNUSABLE in their incessant push for you to pay for them. I had to switch from Google Keep to Evernote because Keep has a limit on how many words you can use in a single note (I got a lot to say dammit) and yet every goddamn time I open Evernote it's like DO YOU WANNA PAY US?! I'm like NO. They're like okay you'll never get this offer again... five seconds later HEY DO YOU WANNA PAY US (the same offer) it's like NO. JFC. If I wanted to I can figure it out. I'm about 3 seconds away from just going back to OneNote because UNHOLY SHIT I'm sooo tired of evernote's bullshit.

I can't even have it open on more than 2 devices without logging out of one or paying you are you fucking kidding me?

like I know this is such a non issue in the grand scheme of things but it just speaks to the absurdity of the modern internet where EVERYTHING is a subscription model even "free" things and it's so frustrating.

i just wanna be able to write notes for videos and shit without being harassed every second to PURCHASE something is that so much to ask?

[bluejaybytes]

💘🍛 I like both of these. What's most important to your oc (of choice but I'm thinking of Maggie), and what their usual dinner looks like <3

Hiiiiiiiii <3

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

Maggie has sooo few people she's close with BUT the people she IS close with she is VERY close with, the three main ones would be her brother, Hawke, her Girl Best Friend (come to your own conclusions on this one, they'll never have an actual discussion about it), Jenna, and one of the ghosts that hangs around her, Opal. Hawke she was always fairly close with as a kid, while he never actually believed her when she would talk about the ghosts and their various shenanigans, he was always one of her strongest and most reliable supporters, and would claim to believe her. She knows now that he never actually believed her (She figured that out as a preteen), but she definitely appreciates the fact he was still always there for her and standing up for her when she'd get talked over by others. When she wakes back up after her murder, finding where he lives is one of her first priorities, because she's basically having like a million crises at once and figures he's the person she trusts must to be able to help her.

Paragraph break because I'm going on longer than anticipated WHOOPS. For Jenna, she's close with her for several reasons. The first part is... honestly just a bit of necessity. Maggie's lost and scared and has no idea what's going on, and Jenna's the first person to approach her and is someone willing to try and help her figure out what's going on, during a situation where anyone else would've just forced her to go to a hospital (Which... to be fair Jenna definitely should've suggested they go to some sort of medical help, given that she was passed out in the middle of a field and wakes up talking about being murdered). Outside of necessity, however, she and Jenna just like... basically instantly latch onto each other. They're frankly both a bit obsessive with each other because they both... really don't have anyone else? Once the plot ends and their lives calm down they'll get some other friends and their dynamic will become more sustainable longterm, but in the moment they've only got each other and GODDAMN do they have each other. Jenna's like 90% of the reason Maggie wants to actually take care of herself, because if she's not doing it, Jenna just does it for her, and she doesn't like feeling like a burden, even if Jenna's doing it willingly and without viewing as such. Their bond is so largely based on their willingness to support each other, so. yknow <3

For Opal, she's known Maggie since she was only a few months old! Ghosts took notice of Maggie's ability to see them LONG before Maggie would be learn this was Not normal, AKA, as a several month old baby, she'd track ghosts with her eyes and try and interact with them like any other person, which alerted the ghosts to the fact she could actually see them. This made her essentially a bit of a celebrity/VERY weird and kinda creepy to the ghosts, so word of the Magic Baby Who Can See Dead People spread, and tons of local ghosts would hang around just to see her themselves. Opal ALSO heard of her, and she just generally loves kids, so she went to go see baby Maggie, only to realize that oh man. This is going to be. a tough life for this kid. So she takes it upon herself to watch over her, and chases away other ghosts who bother her so that Maggie doesn't have to spend her entire life being harassed by ghosts. Their dynamic is a bit weird throughout Maggie's life, as Opal tends to be a bit overbearing, and also tends to talk over the living people Maggie's trying to talk/listen to, making it difficult for her to concentrate, but as frustrating as Maggie finds her to be, they still are very close, Opal's someone Maggie can be actually open with, and someone who is always trying to look out for her and protect her any way she can. Their dynamic gets WAY more strained after Maggie's death but this is already a VERY long ramble and that would involve a LOT more so I'll save that for another day

🍛 CURRY AND RICE — what does your oc's typical dinner look like? do they usually eat dinner?

Bad it looks bad.

Okay the actual answer is more nuanced <3 Prior to her murder, Maggie was still living at home (She was only 17 and had JUST graduated highschool, graduating a year early), so her typical dinner was just... whatever her mom made! Nothing too fancy, just pretty generic dinner items. Maggie's never really had much of an appetite, but also stayed up extremely late every night, so typically it'd be eating like half the normal portion of whatever dinner was -> stay up until 2am -> Get hungry and finish off the other half of dinner -> stay up until [god knows how late]. Her favorite meal is probably stew, though while she is an extremely picky eater, of the foods she's okay with she doesn't tend to have really any standout favorites.

Once she wakes back up after her murder and has to care for herself, her dinner is... crackers. As mentioned, she's an extremely picky eater, but she also has no skill in cooking and is also just deeply depressed, so she can't really give the effort to care about it enough to want to eat properly, so she just. doesn't! However, once Jenna starts hanging around more, specifically hanging around for long enough stretches of time to see Maggie's abysmal self care and eating habits, THEN Maggie's typical dinner stops being "crackers" and starts being whatever Jenna makes her. This is typically things like easier to prepare meals like mac n cheese, but Jenna always adds things to them that aren't included to make them nicer, so it's always more than just "box of kraft mac n cheese", its got some added vegetables and meat added in there to make it better!

Once Maggie actually starts trying to learn how to cook herself, her typical dinner consists of one single bite of whatever she tried and promptly failed to make, and then a plate of Whatever Jenna Made Instead. She's trying her best but oh boy. its not great.

[onlyseokmins]

Mingyu was startled awake, his erection wasn’t able to go away just from a dream. ‘fuck,’ he whispered looking down at the tent underneath his sheets. the uncomfortable feeling of being hard for so long finally getting to him, pulling his pants down while closing his eyes imagining it was you. rubbing one of his hands over his boxers while the other pulled his shirt above his chest. his mind wondering to thoughts of you and him, real and dreamy. -🐯

omg omg omg omg i love this idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the fact that having sex in his dreams isn't enough to satiate mingyu omg ofc not !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's so goddamn hard and there's nothing he can do to relieve it properly. no matter how vivid his dreams are, even if he made you cum in them countless times OR on more rare occasions, you make him cum in his dreams - yeah, poor baby's still gonna wake up with an aching cock and a big pout :(((

i'm thinking about him being a whiny mess immediately upon waking up, like he's not even coherent just sooo fucking desperate. Slowly fisting his cock and wishing, praying, crying for your warmth wrapping around it instead. Your hand, your mouth, your holes - something. Because it's you. Oh and he'd do absolutely anything you wanted him to do heh.

Think it'd be cute if he was biting his shirt at first, trying to be quiet. I think he'd be so pretty like that ugh. But then he gets so hot and frustrated and just rips it off. I think he'd writhe around in bed a lot too because nothing feels right for him unless it's you. poor gyu </3

[tsubasaclones]

all the tsubasa references in clear card are both one of the only interesting things about it and also arguably its biggest flaw. and the fact that it's one of the only interesting things about it contributes to it being its biggest flaw.

like, i'm obviously not saying to get rid of the tsubasa references. they're fun when they're done right, they're to be expected, they're even integral to the story. after all, the whole magic staff thing connects to tsubasa. which is the point of clear card

this sequel would not exist without tsubasa because really the only purpose it solves is to be like "oh see she has another staff after she gives the other one away". which is a problem. this is a sequel that does basically nothing for the original story, it only exists to aid a single scene in a separate story, and yet it's 30 fucking chapters longer that the original ccs manga for no good reason.

they try to replicate tsubasa sooo hard in clear card and it just does not fucking work 99% of the time. the reason they try so hard to make akiho and kaito carbon copies of sakura and syaoran [which doesn't fucking work by the way, i'm just acknowledging that's what they were ATTEMPTING]? well, other than a lazy way to try and get us to like them without trying... you know what story has two syaorans and sakuras in it? the one they keep fucking paralleling. cause the parallels also extend sometimes to akiho and kaito, especially kaito (I HATE IT HERE.)

why are we suddenly throwing in random timeline changing shit at the end?* oh wouldn't you know it tsubasa has a plot about an altered timeline (which, while it gets revealed near the end of tsubasa, happened before the story started, so it doesn't feel nearly as sudden as clear card's timeline shit)

and the last chapter... she has the original cards back and the new ones are gone but can be found again, the whole real name shit, some characters staying back while others go to keep travelling and they kind of hint at meeting up again... there are so many parallels throughout the story i'm not even bothering to put here because you get the idea already surely.

but just... starting off clear card acting like you might not do the gross age gap shit anymore only to shove that stuff in our faces super hard by the end, introducing characters then ignoring their original traits to try and make them copies of already existing characters, using the original ccs story and tsubasa as crutches to avoid making something original... guys come on we're better than this. and the fact that she doesn't even get to keep the clear cards by the end (minus flight) feels like an extra slap in the face cause it's just like oh okay it was ALL pointless then

not to mention so much stuff just passively happens to sakura instead of her actively doing stuff in clear card. it's fine in the beginning when she doesn't know what's going on, but then when she learns, and then she's still subconsciously making cards, and then the most important thing (and only purpose of this goddamn sequel) happens, when she conveniently gets a second staff, it's not because of anything *she* did. it's because it was a byproduct of kaito's timeline fuckery. and then when she fixes the timeline (because the only thing she gets to actively do is fixing someone else's fuckup i guess!) she still has two staves so it's just. agh

anyway what was i saying? oh right clear card frustrates me to no end and if i wanted to read tsubasa i would go read tsubasa so stop trying to copy your old shit clamp

*yeah i know that's what kaito's plan was building up to, what i mean is the timeline gets changed and it gets resolved in such a short amount of time (i mean chapter wise, i almost forgot there was that random ass long time skip)

[joonsytip]

first of all i love ur pfp and tsd and PHEW- selfish indeed! Your writing is amazing so i hope you dont take this as a critique of that bc it's just the Characters i wanna gossip abt heheh. I'm the anon from waaaay back who was team dk and now ive decided....im team OC. maybe in the future when reader has a chance to properly look at dk then yes but hannie is NOT it for her oh my gooooood like i felt like i was rlly watching a drama like, jeonghan 😭 how did you make this poor girl suffer for 2 years bc of ur own complex. Reader wasn't faultless bc she did keep approaching and shoulve put her foot down sooner but tbh jh was too wishy washy with his actions and made it seem like he purposly was trying to go out of his way to hurt her and then oh a week later, he's in love???. I like the cheol part when he gave advice like cheol and jihoon were the MVPs along w chae but srsly. The cheol part gave us more insight into jeonghans side but bro just bc u have some deep hidden repressed feelings doesnt mean u get to treat oc like that thinking its cute. Tsundere is cute, straight up rudeness isn't. Cheol was so right when he put things from reader's perspective like how are u gonna treat reader like a bug for 2 years then turn around and say u love her. Noooooope, its a no from me 😭. I respect what jihoon said the most like reader can be persistent as much as jh wants to get his redemption. Reader hit the nail on the head when she said he doesnt love her, he only loved being pined after, because thats exactly what it is from her perspective because jeonghan seriouslyyyyy fucked up instead of being honest to his feelings or aware. At this point im so pissed off w jh (the fictional one hehe) and i just want reader to be happy. The friendship dynamics in this are the absolute fucking best !!!!!! Seriously the office culture and dynamics in this MADE the story and i lived for it. I just want reader to transfer and live her hot girl life while jeonghan pines and lives in a puddle of regret. He's gonna need to show a lot more sincerity. Right now he's just trying to prove himself, as jihoon said he's just trying to redeem himself by doing all these flashy things that are just making reader question him more and make her feel like shes being mocked. As cheol said, he needs to put himself in her shoes like the underdeveloped eq jh has in this 💀. Goes from i hate you to i love you in a week and wonders why his sincerity didn't reach. i sweaaaaar he frustrates me like nobody else ughhhh the way you made his flawed character was so good like u had me feeling so much anger over a fanfiction 😆. It balanced out so nicely like the cluesless jh and cheol who sees the bigger picture and wants his friends happiness and then reader who is passionate in her love and jihoon who is really mellow but sees everything for what it is. Then we got the trouble makers and office clows along with the dependable friends and bff hao. Hsjsjs soooo many good character, this was such a good cast!!!

I like healing loves and loves that complete you, jh feels more like a puppy crush that makes ur heart race, the kind love that breaks ur heart and u have to learn from- and thats ok! For example, she has a great attraction to jeonghan and went crazy when he wore the red top (goddamn i would too, that chic office wear????) Like jh excited her but a love like dk feels more like home, you know? What i would tell reader if i could is that life is sooo much more than that boy you think is ur first and last love. Sometimes what u really need is ur friends and to enjoy your youth bc this aint it and in my humble opinion jeonghan is not it for her. I know they'll end up together bc its a x jeonghan and this is a fictional world but i took this way too seriously bc i got invested LMAO. Felt like i was in the damn office with soonyoung fighting the copy machine and texting boo seungkwan from the rival office next door about all the drama just to hear his hot takes 😂 I wanna have a sad bitch party with reader and chae and just blast 'you're not sorry' by taylor and then bust her out in a hot outfit for a revenge type plot LMAOOOO the way im sucked into this fanfic you would not believe hahahha. Like reader shows up at the og office after her transfer looking like jeonghans dream girl and she gives him the same treatment he first gave her 😤 the reversallll!! Oh my god and she brought her new coworker, hottie kim mingyu who anyone can see from a mile away is a literal 😍 around her like theyre giving puppy gf x puppy bf and jeonghan is feeling the heat hehehe. As u can see im fucking delusional and ive continued this scenario like its my own life in my head for so many different scenarios LOL.

Thank u for writing and listening to my ramble<333

Gosh. First of all, ANON WE SERIOUSLY NEED TO TALK???? I really loved how you laid out your perspective about the storyline and the character, specially the protagonists.

I do get where your thoughts are coming from and tbh it's a real tough deal to make Jeonghan get his redemption arc coz redem. arcs have always been difficult.

And the way you continued the storyline after the part 2, it's so satisfying actually???

Thanks for dropping by and please keep rambling on me from time to time, I love it! 😂🫶

[vaultsixtynine]

ultimate pacifica takeaways:

uh cut because i'm actually talking about the content of the game which is frequently hilarious and frustrating

rogue and alt discovered thru their johnny experiences they were hot to trot for each other instead. rogue immediately jumped on the chance to save alt bc her breaking up with johnny was supposed to be the cemented beginning of their own relationship (and of course johnny went and fucked it up AGAIN).

obviously we're seeing johnny's perspective but even so they really did not sell the world-shattering romance aspect or chemistry btw him and alt. it doesn't seem like lost love, just a bazillion pounds of guilt and obligation strangled by how he used relationships as crutches

this man truly is. so so so so so traumatized and we won't discuss how much of that is compounded based on his own (trauma-based) decisions. also he is so so so so so fucking stupid but . shrug emoji

i hate that pacifica is so cool and the netrunners there are fucking awesome and they're the only non-corp-reliant actual COMMUNITY in this entire fucking city and the writers went OUT of their way to make it so that you can't get in good with them. you cannot and WILL NOT have a positive relationship w these people or the game might actually ahve any kind of anti-capitalism message

johnny saying that he isn't against capitalism is sooo funny. again: the game is so goddamn throttled by the fact that it was made to be an entertaining toothless criticism of cartoonishly evil corporations. god forbid johnny fucking silverhand famously anti-corp terrorist hate more than just ONE corporation or the system that's let the world spiral out of control so thoroughly. the fuck?

so basically: i'm besties with the pacifica netrunners, johnny confirmed he hates both all corps AND capitalism, and he warped his relationship to alt out of traumabligation and didn't know that she and rogue were going to essentially elope which all got fucked the night alt got kidnapped. he nursed that grudge as a huge log on the fire for a fucking decade and rogue grieved in her own way but also held a grudge against him in her own way. and just didn't tell him. because. who even knows how he would've flown off the handle and self-destructed abt it.

there's a bunch of whf-specific thoughts about pacifica but i'll put them in their own post bc it has much more to do with her backstory than anything else

[100dayproductivity]

10/100.

Do you also get frustrated by having to do stuff like eat? Ugh. I was eating breakfast this morning and annoyed with myself for taking so goddamn long to chew. I think the annoyance actually stemmed from the state of my kitchen. The cereal boxes that are normally on top of the fridge were crowded onto the kitchen table by my elbow. The kitchen table itself was shoved a foot or so farther from the fridge than usual, in order to make room for the fridge to get pulled away from the wall. The vacuum cleaner was sitting on the floor in front of the sink and I kept having to step around it while making breakfast. The reason for this disarray was because I finally picked up some of that putty stuff from the hardware store yesterday to patch up the wall behind my fridge. In order to get to the wall, I have to pull out the fridge. In order to pull out the fridge, I had to remove the cereal boxes from the top of the fridge and shove the table out of the way. I also needed to move the carpet from in front of the door that's next to the fridge. Moving the carpet revealed the accumulation of sandy grit underneath the carpet. I swept that up, then vacuumed. But I'll still need the vacuum to clean up behind the fridge once I pull it away from the wall. Hence why it's still sitting in the middle of everyone's way in front of the sink (by "everyone" I mean "me". And I guess the cat.)

So while I'm sitting there eating breakfast, annoyed with the cereal boxes at my elbow and the vacuum cleaner in front of the sink, I was thinking about how annoying it is to start a project and then have to stop to do things like eat and sleep and eat again. And then I started thinking about the other things I have to also do, like respond to work-related messages, get more cat food, oh and I'm almost out of salt and have started a grocery list of pantry items so I'll have to get those too. And then there's dishes to deal with again. And this is why I have a hard time starting "projects". You take stuff apart and move stuff around in order to do the project, but can't get it done all in one go because of all the other stupid stuff you have to stop and do (like eating!!!) Then you're just annoyed with all the stupid stuff because you just want to get the "project" done. But it seems like you'll never get it done because there's always more pressing priorities! 😮‍💨

Also, I think I messed up my anxiety meds schedule yesterday (I think I took two half-pill doses before noon instead of one half-pill in the morning and another in the evening). My next dose is not scheduled until later this afternoon. The anxiety meds are also used to treat depression and OCD. I don't have OCD but I definitely notice more obsessive-like thought patterns when I miss a dose (not obsessive like weird Fatal Attraction-esque stalker behaviour but just like mildly getting stuck in a mental loop about stupid little things. Like chewing.) So the missed dose is probably contributing to my inability to cope with cereal boxes at my elbow and vacuum cleaner in front of the sink.

Sooo... back to my main point: do you also get this way? Lol. I bet a lot of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Right. Let's get this party started.

First priority is to shower. (See what I mean about stupid little stuff getting in the way of projects? Ugh 😮‍💨)

Then, my to-do list. Here's where we're at:

To-do:

Pick up polyfill and light bulbs at hardware store. ✓ I finally did this! After that little talk I had with myself yesterday. Patting myself on the back for this small accomplishment 🥇

Look up "best hamstring stretches". ✓ - Proud of myself for following through with this right away! Here's a link to the first site I found that had instructions for exercises to do: https://www.sports-injury-physio.com/post/top-5-stretches-plantar-fasciitis

Wash cat puke off of floor. ✓ Omg, finally got this cleaned up.

Patch up holes in wall behind fridge.

🤬 dishes again 🙄.

Order cat food.

Order groceries.

Homescan. (This requires more explanation but I'll elaborate some other time. Basically it's one of those survey things you can do to earn a little extra cash on the side.)

Fill out mortgage paperwork.

Recurring:

Alternate heat and ice on foot.

Do hamstring stretches.

Roll out knots in leg muscle.

Do Sun Salutation x5

Take inhaler

I actually did all of this yesterday! 🏆 My plantar fasciitis is still flaring up though, so I need to keep at it.

What stupid little daily to-dos are annoying you today??

[neeharlow]

TLDR at the end.

I am livid. This apparently can be my only safe space to vent. His goddamn grandmother called him scared about a facebook post I had made. "I'm wound up and he is frustrated with life in general. I sense a blow up soon." And I was right. We ended up getting into it over the phone a couple days later. This is the same fucking grandmother who is convinced I'm going to Hell cause I don't believe in God. >:(

My husband, unfortunately, got my father-in-law's anger issues. But unlike his father he actively tries to be better. If he loses his shit on me chances are he's held it in for so long it just exploded. But he has never hit me. He has never made me feel scared that he was going to hit me. Mainly cause we both know there's no going back after something like and chances are well, both of us would wind up dead. And after the blow ups he always apologizes and tries his best to make it up to me. Now this doesn't happen nearly as often as it had when we first started dating. He often says it was me who showed him what an absolute piece of shit he was.

Now onto the other night. My husband has some really fucked up mental issues. One of those issues is PTSD from how his father treated him, how he was horribly bullied at school, and then Suzy. The girl before he dated me really fucked him up. My husband suffers from flashbacks. Bad ones that hit out of no where. He tells his parents how depressed he is. All the darkness in his mind. They don't know how to handle it. They just tell him to be more positive and of course this pisses him off cause he sees it as them not caring. No. They just don't understand. Of course they don't try either.. sooo... yeah. I can see why that would piss him off. He tells me too. I'll listen (even tho in my head I am fucking pissed off cause I know what's coming when I have no answers.) I never know what to say. I am not a fucking trained professional. So he gets pissed at me. Then goes off cause "I even see a fucking frown on your goddamn face I bend over backwards to make you feel better!!!!!" Completely unaware that I don't share half the shit that goes on in my head because I know he isn't a fucking professional either and I don't want to add to his shit.

I have ADHD (also bipolar, cirrhosis of the transplanted liver, Kidneys that are 12% from complete death, and a heart condition.). I can't concentrate. It's not that I don't care. I just don't know what to fucking say. He calls me and starts in. Life isn't worth it. I want to die. On and on and on. I'm listening. I don't know what to say. There is a looooooong pause. My brain is already on another subject. "So I found Britney's book on youtube." I say. He doesn't say anything. "Baby?" I ask. Nothing. "Baby?" Nothing. Like 5 minutes of me trying to see if maybe the phone was acting up. I hang up. Text him: "Did your phone die?" which yes, in hindsight that was stupid. But I'm kind of paniking cause he's not answering. His phone also isn't going to straight to voicemail which tells me it's not dead.

I am full on panic mode. Calling him 5, 6, even 10 or 11 times. Nothing. I'm on facebook at this point trying to find his friend David. Maybe if I can message David he can call too. Cause maybe it's my phone? I'm in tears. About five minutes from getting his parents involved (this is like 10 at night they are in bed.)

30 minutes go by and he finally calls me back. First words out of his mouth, "I don't think I'm coming home." I'm beside myself at this point, why? Why!? Turns out me saying I found Britney's book pissed him off. Like really, really pissed him off. He goes on about how I don't care. I never care. About how I'm now going to get angry at him for expressing how he feels. By this point I am trying to remember where my suit case is. Cause I'm fucking DONE. At this point, yeah, I lose my fucking shit. "DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA WHAT I"VE BEEN DOING!!? I HAVE BEEN SCARED OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND!! I HAVE BEEN ON FACEBOOK TRYING TO FUCKING FIND DAVID!!!!" I was screaming so there's no doubt his parents were woken up. He then screams at me about how he was right and how he resents me for proving him right. By this point I'm so angry I start looking up transplant clinics in Nevada cause I'd rather live with my Uncle and piece of shit father than be near him. I'm sobbing. I'm fucking pissed. So he can get mad and scream at me but I can't get mad at him for screaming at me and telling me I don't care? Fuck off.

He can hear me sobbing. He finally calms down. Apologizes. And within 20 minutes we're back to joking back and forth like nothing happened. These kind of arguments will happen. Every once in a while they will happen every couple weeks but then we'll go sometimes a year without one. And I don't blame him. And like I said, it was so much, much, much, worse when we were younger. And I'm not innocent. I was awful to him. But sometimes I think we still hold those old grudges against each other and they come out in this way even though we've both matured and grown since then.

TLDR: Mentioned I sensed a fight with my husband in near future because we're both very emotional on facebook. His grandmother sees this post and calls him "scared". Which then leads him to confronting me about the post and another fucking fight. >:(