#and i'm so glad masters is moving in this direction
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cherubchoirs · 2 years ago
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(1/2) How do you feel about Masters Cyrus? I feel like their portrayal of him is very complex and humanizing. It seems like his has resolve cracked after two defeats. The darkrai episode was tough for me to play through, because it felt like Cyrus had finally reached his limit in it and wanted to be dead (feeling nothing in a blank void forever). But “a day with darkrai” was so illuminating! And his latest appearance- he and his commanders
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I WENT ON FOR HOURS BC....I LOVE HE
AUUUGH I LOVE MASTERS CYRUS.....like the development they're giving him is so unexpected but so welcome imo and i think it's deserved for his character. cyrus is sort of unique wrt masters in that way - he's not redeemed in his source game, but they're not at all playing him as a pure villain the way they do with characters like giovanni or ghetsis. which. makes sense. cyrus may not change by the end of dppt, but it feels as though he only doesn't because his own suffering is too woven into his core and he genuinely can't see any other way out. he's as destructive to the self as he is to everything around him and while he's 100% gone too far, i don't think he's a lost cause as a person and masters is recognizing that!!
the darkrai episode in particular was SO interesting and illuminating in contextualizing his character - it really shows, in a definite sense, that at least in this canon, cyrus is absolutely depressed and is likely grieving. i still cannot BELIEVE the line about how people only cherish their bonds so much because they haven't felt the pain of them ending yet. that's. THAT'S LIKE. HEY. WHAT'S GOING ON MAN. idk maybe i give him too much slack because i find him highly relatable as a character, but that arc made it obvious that cyrus genuinely thinks of himself as alone and incapable of being understood by anyone else - he connects with darkrai because they feel very similar at their centers. a day with darkrai is SO sweet tbh and i think it really does show that they intend to eventually redeem cyrus because. he's just. hanging out. and he's ok with you hanging out too. like to me that's kind of a massive step for him, to tell you that it's ok if you'd like to visit darkrai, that he doesn't mind. and that's because the protagonist is willing to understand darkrai, is willing to experience its nightmares in order to be closer to it. they're willing to be open to something cyrus likes and he doesn't hesitate to respond in kind. he's not acting as an antagonist here, he's not giving his speeches, he's actually happy, i think, that someone is willing to listen to him without the grandiosity about it.
and finally i SO agree his cameo has to mean more is coming for him - it's so out of nowhere and unexpected, like his inclusion is entirely unnecessary so i HAVE to believe he'll be back soon. and i genuinely hope we see him connecting with his commanders bc i love them so much as a found family TAT also please PLEASE rotom sync pair!!! because i like to use him reconnecting with a rotom as defining his growth and healing - all signs point to him losing his rotom and that shaping his current grief, so being able to open his heart again to one would be a turning point for him imo PLUS. PLUS. since elesa is already a sync pair with a base forme rotom, his will be unique in some way if they picked it for him!!! it would probably be one of its formes, most likely heat since that's what he uses in the battle tower in bdsp, but it COULD be something else. my favorite ideas are either shiny (!!!!!) or a rotom that can change formes sort of like steven and deoxys. BUT WHATEVER THE CASE i would be so happy to see him pair with rotom and what that story could mean for his character.
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simpxxstan · 1 month ago
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cannn i request a bff! Wonwoo with lots of pining and emotional constipation pls 🤍 love ur writings
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anon requested: hiii can i please request a f2l wonwoo trope? Luv ur writings<3
this is a part of my 550 followers event, but requests are now CLOSED.
genre: sugary fluff, gamer!wonwoo, high school au, friends to lovers.
word count: 6.9k words.
listening to his voice asmr audios and leftover while writing this- can't you tell i just love wonwoo's voice? he's just such a warm hug personified! pls note: i've combined two requests here because they're similar! thank you to both anons for requesting! i'm so sorry again for the delay T_T i rewrote this many times. i hope you like it!!
warnings: very shy reader, gaming references (likely to be inaccurate due to lack of personal experience, please excuse!).
it's the last year of your high school, and yet it doesn't feel like so. you may have turned 18 early this year, but it doesn't feel like the year you graduate from school and move on to a higher, more independent direction in life.
or perhaps you're just not mature enough. not ready enough to embrace adulthood. either way, the intense fear of what the future holds has you by the throat since the start of the year. it's not that you're trying to escape from responsibilities, but somehow it daunts you to no end that you'll have to leave this cocoon you've lived in all your life. step out of your comfort zone and into the real world.
perhaps it's not a maturity thing. perhaps it's just an introvert thing.
you're quite sure none of your classmates feel this scared of the future right now. most of them have their career goals defined, ready to sit for entrance examinations, or write applications to foreign universities. most of them have had experiences bordering on the edge of adulthood already- like their first kiss, their first date, their first relationship. most of them have already figured out where they see themselves three or four years from now- even if it not perfectly, it's brilliant that they even see themselves four years from now.
you? you don't even know if you'll be able to make it on time to the first day of class. it's literally the last year of school, and you've still not mastered the art of not getting late due to extreme social anxiety on the first day of class. somehow you rush into class, ankles burning from running through the campus, moments before the teacher arrives. you notice that there are only two seats left available in the class- one in the first bench, and another towards the back. you wonder if you should be sitting in the front to make a good impression on the teachers on your first day, but then your friends wave to you from the back, and your decision is made for you.
just as you finally settle down, your nerves easing out with the flowing conversation with your friends, the teacher walks into the classroom, creating pin-drop silence instantly, but she's not alone.
"good morning, class. welcome your new classmate for this year." on hearing her words, you look up from the new book your friend's been showing you.
the book almost drops from your hands.
"hello! my name is jeon wonwoo. nice to meet you all!"
_
in this moment, you're so, so glad you didn't choose to sit in the first bench. in this moment, you're so, so glad you always stick to your friends who generally do the talking for you whenever you're outside your tight-knit friend circle. in this moment, you're so, so glad you're the most ordinary-looking girl in the class.
because all of these ensure jeon wonwoo doesn't even spare a glance at you. and if you can keep yourself in check, he will not spare a glance at you for the rest of the eleven months of the school year. it's anyway just one year. if you keep out of his sight for long enough, he'll forget you exist.
as you walk home that evening, you wonder why must the universe be so cruel to you that it's now decided to make jeon wonwoo enter your class? wasn't it enough that he tormented you every day after beating you at games, that now you would have to see him daily in your immediate periphery? wasn't it enough that he'd already stolen your heart when you knew nothing of him except his voice, that now you would have to also know how devastatingly handsome he is in real life?
on reaching home, you slump down in your gaming chair and turn on your desktop.
2 messages from jeonwonubokdeongeori
you sigh before clicking the discord popup open, your annoyance increasing tenfold on reading the texts.
how was your first school day? going to a new school is so daunting T_T
daunting? with that face? with those charms? with that obvious intelligence sparkling in his eyes that no teacher can resist? what a liar. but at least he's telling you now that he's going to a new school. you can't ask him the name of the school because you don't want him to get curious about your school in return. so you keep it neutral.
i bet it wasn't as bad as mine lol wanna play and get the stress out?
wonwoo's message comes instantly, and you feel yourself melting. it does sound like such a tempting idea, especially with the way your body is still high-strung from all the social exposure and new worries of the final academic year. you want to say no- you want to start distancing yourself from him, you want to ensure your crush doesn't become serious. and yet, you can't keep yourself away from clicking on the yes button when he sends you a request to join a game.
seconds later, his voice rumbles in slowly through the other side of the game. his player is wearing a yellow outfit today, similar to your school uniform. "hey," it's a single syllable but it sends a shiver of comfort down your spine, and you can feel your body relax. it's online. he doesn't know it's you. it's just a game between friends.
"hi won," you voice is a soft whisper, almost afraid that he'll recognise you. you're sure he won't, because you've made sure he hasn't heard your voice throughout the day- but even if he does, he doesn't indicate it in any way.
he chuckles on the other end. "you sound so tired. you probably need sleep more than a game." "i've been drinking too much soda- no way i'm gonna sleep soon," you stifle a yawn to keep talking to him. "mhmm, soda's not good for you, princess." princess. you know it's not a nickname, or meant to be endearing. he's simply referring to your username, pretzel_princess, which you go by during games. three days ago, you'd wished you'd used your own name as your username, just so you can hear him say your name while playing, although princess sounds good enough. but in hindsight, it's been the best decision you've ever made.
"jeon wonwoo, are you just stalling the game?" you smirk, and you hope he hears it in your voice.
he does.
"well then, game on, princess."
_
after that, you can't keep your eyes away from wonwoo. the initial shock has now worn down- and suddenly the reality seems more stark in full HD. he's right here- literally ten seats away from you. in all likelihood, you could just whisper and he would hear your voice.
and identify you at once.
and yet, you can't keep your eyes off him. he seems so.... different in real life, and yet exactly the same. you start linking every tiny bit of character you've learned about him till now to his real self.
like how he's complained to you multiple times about his poor eyesight- and you've scolded him about his terrible gaming addiction and how he should stop immediately, only for him to laugh it off. you can see how thick his glasses are, and how he has to squint often even with the glasses- and you make a mental note of scolding him again tonight.
like how he doesn't like swimming during the physical education classes- instead opting for athletics. he's told you before he has a fear of drowning, and now you witness this with your own eyes too.
like how he's an introvert too- keeping mostly to himself, although everyone is trying to get a piece of him. with his looks and his natural charm, you can hardly blame the girls and the guys for swarming around him every day. although it's barely been a week since he's joined, he's already solidified a fanbase- people who are ready to give him homework, their lunchboxes and also their hearts. it's no surprise though- you're no different than them. you were just a tad bit more pathetic- at least they hadn't fallen for him after hearing just his voice.
it feels like you're leading a double life. you've never been more thankful for your introvertedness- perhaps the only time you've been thankful for it. but this is the only way to ensure wonwoo doesn't know who you are. you do your best to ensure your friends don't get curious about him, and even if they do talk to him, you stay away from the spot at that moment. it's even better because none of the teachers know you by your name (you've never given them reason to), hence no one in class draws attention to you. your friends call you by a nickname (not princess), so even if they're calling out for you from a distance, wonwoo could never realise it's you.
well. things are not as bad as you'd think they would be.
unless of course, one counts the worsening of your infatuation. it's already been a while since you've known each other as ... online best friends. well, you'd been gaming together on the same server for a year now, but it was only eight months since you'd dm-ed him, and initiated a conversation, ignoring your shaky hands. thankfully, he'd replied almost instantly- and that had sparked things off. too fast, you'd gone from strangers who game together occasionally to friends you share your feelings and thoughts with. wonwoo had been surprisingly easy to open up to. perhaps because he resonated with most of your experiences? with him being as introverted and shy as you see him now, you'd understand why. or perhaps because you'd always thought he would be just an online friend- a voice behind a screen. never more tangible than that. and there was a comfort in that. no fear of judgement. no insecurity about your looks. no worries about embarrassment. and even when you had your voice on, conversation had flown easily, and so had giggles and intimate moments.
you slam your head against the textbook you're reading as you remember that night when you'd messed up. of course, your crush was nothing new. you'd slowly and surely begun to develop feelings for the gentle-voiced gamer who had won his way into your heart with his gaming skills and the softness with which he treated you. like how he would immediately catch on to any exhaustion in your voice. how he'd remember the little details you told him about your daily life. how he'd remind you to sleep instead of playing another match, because you'd have to wake up early the next day. sometimes, with your headphones on and wonwoo's voice floating in, you'd escape from this real world, away from the fears of your life, into a world where it felt like you were sitting with him, on a swing, in a playground. and sometimes, your imaginary world took you to a rollercoaster, him holding your hand as you both screamed with the adrenaline rushing to your head. and eventually, your imagination would take you to a world where you'd picture a faceless wonwoo hugging you after a long day of studies, just as his words comforted you with the similar warmth of a hug.
well, faceless no more.
your face heats up as your mind strays to the thought of hugging wonwoo. knowing he was so much taller than you, and so beautifully built even in the hideous school uniform, his hugs would absolutely engulf you and drown you in his warmth. you shake your head as you focus on your book again. you shouldn't be daydreaming about your online best friend. not when you don't even have the guts to own up and face him in real life.
_
the next month is largely uneventful. the novelty of wonwoo's presence slowly wears off, although his fanbase does not. but you've grown smart at avoiding him. with your study pressure mounting up, you both have lesser time to play games anyway, but whenever you do, you're bound to lose your sleep. because after two hours of just you and him, your noise-cancelling headphones focusing on every breath he takes and curse he utters while playing, your mind feels like levitating. he frequents your dreams on those nights- and you dream about an alternate reality where you can sit next to him in the library and hear his gentle voice from up close instead of simply through your headphones. where his laugh shakes up your desk and you can actually see the beautiful smile you know he must have on his face whenever you crack a silly joke and he laughs for you. where you can solve his maths sums with him, after he complains about finding them too hard.
you know you're being stupid. you have your college entrances coming up really soon, and you should move on from this silly crush of yours when you're not even brave enough to do anything about it. but you simply can't distance yourself from jeon wonwoo.
"what are you thinking about, princess? you're very quiet these days." his question isn't probing, but caring. "it seems like there's a lot on your mind."
you sigh. "there is, but i can't tell you."
"no? wonwoo's upset on hearing that."
you double take on hearing that. "it's nothing serious. just silly worrying. i don't want to dump on you-" "you're not dumping anything on me. if you keep stuff from me, i'll feel even more helpless and sad." you try to understand if there's any hint of fakeness in his voice, but you cannot hear anything except the slow rumble of genuineness in his voice.
"i- i can't tell you, wonwoo."
"is it about me?"
"what? no. no, no. why would i be upset about you?"
"i don't know. why else would you hide things from me?"
"ummm-"
"i won't push you. but i really want to help. i like hearing you laugh often, princess."
he doesn't raise the issue again during that match, but his words linger in your mind for longer than they should. it ends up distracting you during the game, and he tsks into the microphone.
"i'm seriously going to abort this game if you don't tell me why you're playing so badly. i thought we were friends."
best friends, you remember telling wonwoo two months back. you're the closest thing to a best friend that i have, won. and he'd said it back, his voice shy, me too, princess. i'm so glad i found you.
"you're not going to let this go, will you?" your voice is vulnerable, as his caring words really seep into the layer beneath your skin. "if you want me to, i will."
"then i do want you to. i'll talk about it when i'm ready, wonwoo."
he sighs, and you feel the sound of his breath send a shudder through your spine.
"as you want, princess."
_
it's midterms week and you're neck-deep in assignments, when wonwoo's call request comes in. you don't think twice before accepting it, knowing he's a great study partner.
"hey! are you busy with exams?" "so right i am." "yeah lol, me too. 'tis the season, huh?" he chuckles, and you grin. if you consider the fact that it's almost the end of two months and wonwoo still doesn't know you, then it makes you feel ... kinda good on the inside. like you're in a detective movie. like you're in a spy film.
"my brother says he wants to meet you." you almost choke on your coffee when you ask him, "what?!" "yeah, he said that he's heard enough about you, now he wants to see if you exist at all." "you can just tell him i exist-" "he doesn't believe me. says that i'm too loser to have a sweet girl friend like you."
sweet girl friend.
pretty sure wonwoo doesn't intend it to sound like the way it does, but it does make your skin burn up with an unbearable blush instantly. all your sleepiness is gone instantly, his words acting quicker than coffee, and you sit upright.
"you're not a loser. and you have plenty of female friends, i'm sure." "no, and no. princess, i play games on my computer every day, barely have a social life, and haven't gone on a date with anyone in my seventeen years of existence. i don't think you understand my loser level."
"and your brother has done all of this?" "you bet. he has a girlfriend and he's just fifteen. seems kinda illegal to me." you laugh. "as long as he isn't crossing lines, it's not illegal i guess." "hmm true. the point is- we're really very different, my brother and i. and i admit i am a loser... in real life."
you coo at him, your voice becoming softer. you can't imagine him having confidence issues- not when you've seen how perfect he literally is. "i think you're just overthinking. firstly, gamers aren't losers. secondly, you do have a social life. you have me. and you have those other friends you game and hang out wit-" "yes but seungcheol and mingyu are also losers. seungcheol is literally in college but hasn't been able to get laid yet." wonwoo's dead-serious words make you burst out laughing, and he joins in.
"i think it's just because you're all shy. it's okay! you know i'm super shy too." there's a pause before he replies, and you almost think you've lost your internet connection. "i don't think you're as shy as me, though." "there's no comparative metric, won."
another pause. "maybe. but i wish i wasn't like this. you know, you and i live in the same city, but we've never even planned to meet up or anything."
your pulse flutters in your neck. "but that's the charm of online friendships! we connect so well, but just talking online is enough, isn't it?"
"yes... but don't you ever get curious?"
you're moments away from a meltdown. you want to confess your secret and run away from the desktop at the same time- because you're sure he's recognised you. but thankfully he replies before you do. "but then again, i wouldn't ever be able to face you because of how often you've beaten me in overwatch." and his laugh breaks the tension and you take a deep breath of relief. fuck. that was close.
_
"wonwoo, you were right when you'd told me you'll need some help in pre-calc. i understand that the curriculum in your previous school was slightly behind ours here, which is why your foundation is a bit weak. don't worry, smart boys like you catch up in no time." you'd barely paid attention to your math teacher's ramblings, eager to pack up your bag and leave for home. it's finally the end of the class day, and you're excited for the weekend. you also know wonwoo's birthday is tomorrow, and you've bought a new character for him on the game you're both obsessing on currently, and you can't wait to hear his excited, high-pitched giggle tonight when he receives his gift mid-match.
"y/n and seori, i want you to discuss amongst yourselves who would like to tutor wonwoo in his pre-calculus foundations for the rest of this term. you'll receive extra marks for this on my paper, so i request you to take this seriously."
your bag slips from your fingers, as you look up, an ashen look on your face. it's clear that your teacher wants you to take this up with the way she's got her eyes fixed on you even as seori has already stepped up to her. thankfully she speaks before you need to. "i'll do it, ma'am. y/n, i hope that's okay with you? i really need the extra marks," she whispers the last bit to you, and you let out a sigh of relief as you nod your approval. you look away from seori to see wonwoo's eyes on yours, and you panic for a moment. but there's no sign of recognition. just a mild curiosity and confusion flash in his pretty eyes, before you avert your eyes and walk out of the classroom.
it's probably a coincidence, you tell yourself as you walk back home, your heart still racing from the close escape you made mere minutes ago. it was bound to happen some time or the other, you console yourself, you're lucky to have avoided it for two entire months anyway. but as soon as you reach home and switch on your desktop, you see a notification flash.
4 messages from jeonwonubokdeongeori
what can he have to say? what if he has actually recognised you? you gulp, your palms sweaty as you click it open.
hey can we skip tonight's gaming session? i have a small gaming party with my friends tonight and then they'll be coming over for a sleepover
oh, must be a birthday celebration.
sorry if you were looking forward to it :(
you were looking forward to it. you've spent a solid bit of your savings from your pocket money to buy it for him, and you'd really looked forward to, well, hearing his reaction. but you wouldn't dream of barging into his plans.
ooh it's not a big deal at all! i hope you have fun, wonu <3
you see him come online instantly, and you're hit with panic. maybe you shouldn't have sent the heart. it was overstepping boundaries, wasn't it?
i'll make it up to you, princess ^^
god. he knows too damn well how to make your heart flutter.
or maybe you can come along and join the party? you already know seungcheol, right? it'll just be him and a couple of my other friends. jungkook and mingyu. they're really fun too hehe
the panic rises in your throat again. fuck. you remember exactly what happened the last time you joined a gaming party with wonwoo and seungcheol. and you've spent the entire last month trying to erase it from your memory, and if you could, really, from wonwoo's memory too. so you're pretty quick to turn him down.
nah i think i'll pass have fun tho!
and then you go offline to avoid spiralling into your thoughts, and get into studies. which is actually what you should be doing, instead of gaming with your crush anyway.
_
silence.
radio fucking silence.
there's just the pitter patter of the rain outside, but no replies from wonwoo.
i like hearing you laugh.
i'm glad i found you.
sweet girl friend.
it all feels like a lie when you stare for hours at the unseen, unread, unopened message that's staring back at you from your chat with wonwoo. it's almost night, one would think he could text back with a simple thank you after you'd spent half your pocket money on buying him the new character.
or maybe wonwoo is just like all the other boys. what did you even expect? that he'd be rolling over in gratitude after you buy him something he's been audibly craving for for weeks now? that he'd confess his love for you after you stupidly purchase something for him that has no real value?
get out of your damned imaginary world, y/n, you chide yourself mentally as you wipe the lone tear that has begun sliding down your cheek. but it doesn't make sense! after all these months of getting to know wonwoo, you simply can't believe it that he's this heartless that he won't even have the courtesy of replying back after almost an entire day of receiving the gift. and you know it's not an unwanted gift. and you also know wonwoo isn't the type to ghost you either! you'd think he's busy or caught up in something- but you can the little text next to his discord icon showing that he's been online today. then there's really no logical explanation left that can explain this kind of beha-
oh.
of course.
of course! he must have found out who you are. fuck. maybe during the delivery of the character, they must have shown him your email address or something to show them who's send him the gift. and that would be a total giveaway because your email address definitely contains your name. either he's put two and two together and matched princess with y/n, and naturally, instantly felt repulsed by you- hence the lack of response.
or.... (and this is honestly the worse option) he thinks you're just y/n who's sending him a birthday gift that miraculously coincides with something he really wants. oh my god. this really is much worse than the other alternative because now he thinks of you as a creep who can't even meet his eyes in class but must be stalking him and finding out about his gaming hobby.
another slow tear rolls down your cheek, and the phone drops from your hands and crashes down on the tiled floor, the screen cracking from side-to-side.
at this point, you should just drop out from school.
_
but of course you don't. monday comes round, and so does your period. you've never been more thankful for cramps before today. at least it saves you from the embarrassment of facing wonwoo. as you toss and turn in pain on your bed all day, trying fruitlessly to read your study material, your mind keeps going back to one face.
a single, delicately created face, with eyes that look alive. complete with a simple pair of metal glasses, shining against the spots of barely-there acne on two cherub cheeks.
you shake your head and dump your books on your lap. there's no point in this. it's a risk you've taken from the first day when you'd decided to hide from him instead of coming out as your true self. who knows, perhaps he wouldn't have rejected your friendship so blatantly then? instead, you try to sleep. maybe that'll help you feel refreshed.
but oh, you're not even left relieved in your sweet sleep. a single scene keeps replaying in your head as soon as you shut your eyes.
it was the first time you were in a live gaming party with voice unmuted. wonwoo, two of his friends, and two other friends from the common gaming server, smera and roy. he'd convinced you to switch on your mic because it was just friends who you trusted anyway. well, that was just the first mistake.
the second mistake had been, of course, to get comfortable enough with all of them to agree to play that silly truth and dare game. and then one thing had led to another, and a little bit of prodding from smera had ended up with you confessing that if there was anyone in this group who you'd kiss, it'd be wonwoo. if the mortification of that wasn't bad enough, smera had gone ahead and said that she'd even lowkey expected it. and within moments everyone else had forgotten your confession- it was as if they didn't even know how hard it had been to admit it- when rob confessed that he really want to kiss mingyu right now and the group started cheering.
the third mistake, and the worst one, had been staying on call with wonwoo after the party was over. "so you'd kiss me, huh?" he'd asked softly, his voice laced with a grin, as you'd blushed and thanked god he couldn't see you right now in your embarrassed live wire state. "among the others, yes. i don't know the others as well as i know you!" you'd rushed to explain, hoping your voice wasn't quivering as fast as your heartbeat. and then wonwoo had gone silent for a very long time, before saying, "and what if we knew each other outside this world, y/n? would you kiss me then?"
and then you hadn't been able to reply. you'd frozen in your spot, until wonwoo's shy laugh could be heard and he'd resumed the game.
you don't know if you could still reply today. perhaps it's the secret you'll hang for.
_
your excuse only lasts so long and eventually it's wednesday and you make your way out of bed. you've mentally lectured yourself enough times to know all the different things wonwoo might have to say to you and you've armed responses for most of them (although you think you're going to end up running away in almost all of them, forgetting your practiced response in the spur of the moment). your first class in mathematics, and you decide to arrive just a few minutes late so as to avoid any chance of conversation with wonwoo before class.
"oh y/n, you're finally here." your legs falter as you appear at the door of the classroom and find your teacher looking you straight in the eye. "sorry i'm late, ma'am!" "it's okay. i'd thought you'd be absent again." "i wasn't feeling well, ma'am, i'd mailed-" "yes yes i know," she nods her head impatiently. "it's good you came today. you'll have to start tutoring wonwoo from today itself. mid-terms are in two weeks, and i want his level to improve by then." "i thought seori...?" "seori isn't professional enough, from what wonwoo's told me."
it's only at this point that you realise that there's another pair of eyes focused on you in a piercing gaze. you know who it is, and you try your best to avert your glance.
not professional? you wonder what that may mean.
"fix up a timing for the sessions, and please don't disappoint me, y/n." she says the last bit with a pleading tone in her voice, and you wince. "alright, ma'am."
_
all through the class, there's only one thing playing in your mind on loop. you. wonwoo. in the tutoring room. alone. for the next two weeks. fix up a timing for the sessions. don't disappoint me. your lower lip wobbles and you can feel the tears inching in your eyes slowly. expectations. disappointment. aren't you just a disappointment to everyone? to your parents. to your teachers. to yourself.
even to wonwoo.
if you hadn't kept your head down for the entirety of the class, gazing at the sight outside the window, your attention completely unfocused from class, you would've noticed a figure turning to look at you whenever the teacher has her back to the class. but you don't notice him, so you don't realise his eyes fixed on you when you make a dash out of class as soon as the teacher leaves the classroom. you want to escape the inevitable for just another day- defer it, rather. you know it's going to be torture when wonwoo finally accosts you. as you make your way to a corner in the school, a secluded spot near the roof, where you've never seen anyone else going except yourself, a flurry of thoughts float in your head. all thoughts that should ideally deter you from running away. but you do it nonetheless, because you can't think straight. you feel the tangible cloud of these worries clog your throat as you hide in your favourite hideout corner and cover your face with your hands as you feel the fresh wind blow onto your heated skin.
he's going to hate you more now because you're delaying the academic help he deserves, simply because of your stupid nerves.
he's likely going to complain against you to the teachers, how you've taken academic responsibilities casually, and mar your good academic record and rapport with teachers. fuck, that's a further lower chance of getting the LORs you need.
he's also likely going to talk about what a creepy stalker you truly are in your mutual gaming circles, and you'll be ousted from the one safe space, your hobby, the one place where you've felt unjudged, the only place you can be yourself.
fuck. fuck. f-
"how long are you going to hide from me, princess?"
you freeze on spot. the voice is unmistakable, it's haunted your dreams long enough. you can feel a warmth in your periphery and you know he's right behind you. the hair on the back of your neck rise up into goosebumps and you know you've been caught.
you turn around slowly, your eyes fixed to the ground. you see wonwoo's sparkling white sneakers standing close to yours, and in the silence of this secluded spot, you can hear his breathing, slow and steady, completely contrasting your own shallow, frenzied breathing.
"i d- don't kn-know what you're t-talking a-about." you stutter through every word, your skin burning up with the keen awareness of wonwoo catching you red-handed.
"so that's how it going to be?" you can see his toes edge slightly forward, as if he's rocking in his shoes. and then you start to feel slightly less tensed. you start to focus on the tone he's using- it's not particularly menacing. in fact, it's not angry at all. which is surprising because-
"are you mad at me, princess?"
this time you look up, and you're hit with the force of wonwoo's beautiful eyes looking straight at you from barely any distance. with his height, he's easily towering over you, his glasses making his gaze more stern... and yet the way he's looking at you, it's so... soft? how odd that he's asking you if you're mad at him, when truly, it's quite the opposite.
"i sh-should be asking y-you that."
"me?" he tilts his head to one side in query, eyebrows furrowing. "i could never be mad at you."
your voice quivers as you speak the next words, "but you now know who i am."
"and?"
"that's why you're avoiding me!"
"that's true." you take a step back at his words. "so you do admit it, wonwoo?"
"i do. if you're referring to my lack of communication in this last few days, then it is true. i won't blame it on any excuse except my own conscious behaviour."
god. he's going to just say it like that. straightforward. no roundabouts. no sugarcoating. perhaps it's better like that. will save you the pain of hope after the heartbreak.
you look straight into wonwoo's eyes. "i get it, wonwoo. i've disappointed you. and you regret ever making friends with you. because i'm not popular, nor smart, nor attractive. you know how you'd wished if we could ever meet in real life? the truth is, now you're glad you didn't follow along that plan, otherwise you'd regret it terribly."
"i do regret it." he lifts his hand to brush your bangs out of your eyes. you almost jerk at his touch, but it's too gentle. when it gently wisps along your cheek, it feels... almost familiar. how cruel of him to do this before he's going to reject you outright. how cruel of him to give you a taste of heaven before leaving you heartbroken.
"why are you doing this, wonwoo? can't you leave me alone?"
his hand frames your cheek, cupping it barely, and you want to lean into his touch. when his cold palm slowly begins getting warmer through your touch, he speaks again. "i regret not meeting you sooner, princess. or rather, y/n. i regret not following up on that, y/n, because that way you'd never think such mean things about yourself. not just are you being mean to yourself, but also you're being mean to me!"
"to you?" your eyes grow wide, and a small smile plays on wonwoo's lips. "yes. you're not giving me a chance to explain myself. i'm sorry for disappearing on you after my birthday." he pauses, and you just raise your eyebrows, waiting for the explanation he's so desperate to give.
"yes, well. dumb move on my part. but then- i didn't know how to react after you sent that character to me!"
"how did you know it was me?"
"the mail id?"
"yes. damn, yes. i knew it."
he chuckles, "but i knew that you were princess long before that." "you did?" "seungcheol's sister goes to this school, you know? she'd recognised your voice immediately." you gasp at his words, "but you're still not letting me finish."
you take a step back, suddenly reeled back to reality. you try to move your face away from his hands, and his left hand drops from your cheeks, only to grab on to your wrist even as you step away. "i was stupid. i didn't know if you sending me the gift was... just friendly or something more. and just because i feel something more doesn't mean you will reciprocate it."
"what do you mean?" your voice is softer now, glazed with curiosity.
"the reason why i disappeared on you was because i needed time to think my way through with how i wanted to approach this with you. and convincing our math teacher to get you, her favourite student, to tutor me was the easiest way out ever." there's another chuckle, but your mind is spinning.
"approach what with me? wonwoo?"
he takes another step towards you, his hand slipping lower than your wrist and holding your palm now, inches away from locking his fingers around yours.
"i like you, y/n. don't you know that already?"
your mind whirls again, and you blink for a few seconds. "what?!" he blinks back at you, equally shocked. "i thought it was obvious, y/n. do you think i play games with any girl every night? share every life update with any girl every night? can't go to sleep without hearing the voice of any girl every night?"
"won-wonwoo..."
"so tell me now, please. spare me the heartbreak and tell me why you sent me that gift."
it feels surreal, but wonwoo's racing pulse against your fingers makes you realise that he's real. this is real. this is happening. wonwoo likes you.
"of course i like you wonwoo. i even told you i'd kiss you. wasn't that a giveaway enough?"
"you said that because i was the only one you'd kiss in a room full of other friends... but it didn't mean anything!" he's quick to protest, and your heart melts. maybe wonwoo is shier than you'd thought. so you take a step closer to him, and link your fingers into his finally. "well now you know what it means."
_
three bunked classes later, you and wonwoo make your way back to the main classroom area of the school. the rush of adrenaline in your body is insane right now, because you're holding hands with wonwoo. with wonwoo! you don't think you can believe it, so you keep looking down at your hands to make sure its real.
"i wish i'd met you before y/n. i was so desperate to know you more! it was so obvious," wonwoo's low giggles are music to your ears as he leans in to whisper his sweet words. "i thought that's why you kept running away from me." his hand slips out of your lock, and around your waist, pulling you in gently. you gasp at his move, and look around quickly to see if anyone's looking. but thankfully, there's no one in the corridors right now, so you let his hand remain there.
"i kept hiding because i was worried how you'd react on knowing the real me, won." "but i knew the real you already. sight isn't our only sense, you know." "yes, but i'm not-" "i don't care what you're not. there's so many things i'm not. and yet, you say that you like me. so what matters is you and me, don't you think?" you turn your head up to look at him, blushing at the fond look in his soft eyes. you want to hug him, pull him towards you and never let him go. but you settle for leaning closer into his body for now.
"i was promised a tutoring session, you know." he says slowly, as you realise you're both walking towards the isolated tutoring room of the school. it's empty right now, because it's still class hours. "do you want to be tutored now?" you raise your eyebrows, concerned at his wish to break out of this precious moment you're having and instead study. "i want to be in the tutoring room right now. there are no cctvs, see." you spin around to quickly check, blushing at the way he's whispering into your ear. but before you can turn back to him and reply, you feel a wet peck on your cheek, and your body bursts into flames.
jeon wonwoo just kissed you.
"wonwoo!"
"what? did you not like it?" he whispers, slightly alarmed.
"no! just! warn a girl before you do things like this, you know." you try to hide your blush furiously, but fail, as he wraps you into his embrace. "there are no other girls to warn. only you. and i don't need to warn you. because now you know i do things like this." and he leans in again, and before you realise, he's left a kiss on your nose. your heart races as you avert your gaze, and you're both erupting into giggles. "you're really a menace, jeon wonwoo." he cups your face with his hands, looking right into your eyes.
"and you're my princess, y/n."
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raysrays · 9 months ago
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I’ve Got you
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Kyojuro Rengoku X GN! Reader
CW: injury,blood, angst-ish to fluff
Scenario: Just because you are a Tsuguko doesn’t mean you get out of going on missions yourself. But what If you don’t return on time? What if you are injured?
Completing missions was never difficult for you, a perk of being a Tsuguko. Personal training by a Hashira has honed your skills. Your technique appears flawless, ensuring success on most tasks. As long as you didn’t run into any upper moons you’d be perfectly fine. Right?
That was your assumption until you reached your destination: a clearing tucked in the heart of a forest. Surrounded by miles of wilderness in every direction. You’d already spent too long traveling a different route due to the weather so you were technically a few days behind.
Upon your arrival, you immediately spotted the clearing, but to your surprise, a demon stood at its center—your target, it has to be.
You drew your sword slowly, cautious not to draw immediate attention to yourself as you approached. Upon getting a clearer view, you studied the demon's appearance intently.
It stood tall, with long white hair and a bluish tint to its skin.
But it must have noticed you staring, as it whipped its head around in seconds.
Its bright red eyes looked terrifying, and its long, claw like nails only added to its unsettling appearance.
You assumed your stance and charged at the demon, employing the breathing technique Kyojuro had tirelessly trained you to master.
However, as you closed the distance, an odd sensation crept over your body, causing everything to seem to move in slow motion.
Looking up, you noticed the demon sporting a creepy grin on its face. With a deliberate motion, it slowly raised its hand, dragging its disgusting claws down your left side.
The sudden surge of pain was intense.
Suddenly, time seemed to unfreeze as you plummeted to the ground in an instant. Looking around, you realized the demon had vanished without a trace.
Not a single hit landed, and it had slipped away.
Despite the searing pain, you attempted to stand, but the agony was overwhelming. Glancing down at your blood-soaked uniform and the wound beneath it, the fight wasn't over.
You couldn't stop now, not with the demon's still alive. That's what you tried to convince yourself.
You attempted to push yourself off the ground, but the pain held you back, causing your vision to blur and your eyelids to grow heavy.
"Am I bleeding out?" The thought flashed through your mind as your head connected with the ground.
It felt like mere seconds had passed when you were abruptly pulled out of unconsciousness by the sounds of yelling and talking.
"Y/N? Y/N?" The voice sounded oddly familiar.
"If you bleed out like this, you'll die in literally the most un-flashy way possible," the voice continued.
Ah, Tengen.
Through the small slit of your eyes, you saw him crouched down in front of you.
"There you are. Glad you're finally awake. I was worried you'd be dead for sure," he chuckled.
As you fully opened your eyes, I noticed that your side had been somewhat bandaged up, though it wasn't exactly top-tier first aid.
He frowned. "Look, I'm aware I'm not Shinobu, but it'll do until we get back."
You nod slowly and manage to push yourself back to your feet.
"How... how long was I out for?" You ask him nervously.
"Well, considering Rengoku paced around HQ to the point where the master sent him off on some pointless mission, I'd say quite a while," he rolled his eyes.
"I'm serious. How long has it been?" You ask again.
He stops and thinks for a second. "You've probably only been out for a day and a half, but technically, you should have been back two days ago."
Your heart begins to race. You've been out far too long, undoubtedly causing Kyo worry. What if he's angry? Did the master really have to send him off on a mission to calm down?
Your mind races a mile a minute before you finally acknowledge Tengen again.
"Let's head back now. When will Kyojuro return?" Your voice sounds desperate. You want to see him. You need to see him.
He crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Rengoku is probably almost back by now. Like I said, it was just a lame mission to get him to mellow out for a second."
Suddenly, his hard, sarcastic gaze softens with a hint of concern. "Hey, come on, I'll help you back. I know you're probably in a lot of pain right now."
As he extended his hand to you, you finally accepted it. You liked Tengen; he was a good friend to Kyojuro, and really, that's all you cared about. He could be a complete asshole or a genuinely kind person, but you just got lucky today.
It took a while, but he was fast. Together, you both made it back to headquarters in half the time it would have taken alone.
When you finally arrived, he guided you straight to the Butterfly Mansion to get your injury taken care of.
Shinobu took you in and started to properly disinfect and re-bandage your wound.
You stare at her silently as she patches you up. Shinobu always wears that lifeless smile, yet she still looks remarkably beautiful. You know her story and admire her persistence and her invaluable contributions to the demon slayer corps.
"Y/N, you need to rest. I'll have Tengen inform the master about the demon that got away," her voice maintains its usual tone, neither angry nor particularly happy.
"I wasn't able to kill it. I'm sorry," you confess, feeling the weight of failure on your shoulders. That demon may not have been an upper moon, but it was undeniably strong. You almost feel embarrassed. Did you underestimate the demon, or were you too overconfident in your abilities?
Your thoughts are interrupted when Shinobu tilts your chin to look at her. "I assume you aren't used to failure, are you?" Her expression changes; instead of her usual painted smile, this time it seems genuinely sympathetic.
You feel embarrassment wash over you; she read you like a book.
"Y/N, not every mission will end in victory. It's enough that you didn't bleed out on the ground. I think that alone will make Rengoku very happy," Shinobu reassures you.
Shinobu could be extremely harsh, maybe even downright mean sometimes, but right now, she's comforting you. It feels good.
"Thank you, I really needed to hear that—"
You are interrupted by the sound of a crow flying around the mansion.
"Master Rengoku has returned from his mission!" it caws loudly.
Suddenly, the stress floods back over you. You've never been injured like this before. How will he react?
Shinobu notices your reaction and steps back from you.
"I'll be going now. Try to rest up while your injuries heal. I'll check back on you in a few hours."
You watch her leave, wondering if she's going to tell Kyojuro you're here. Does she already know how he'll react to the situation? Is it really even that big of a deal?
Maybe you're just overthinking this. As a Tsuguko, it's understandable that you'd sustain injuries every now and then. As a partner though…it's different.
What was only minutes felt like hours, but eventually, you heard the sounds of the doors to the mansion open.
You recognized those footsteps; you had heard them every day of your life.
Once the doors finally opened, you saw Kyojuro. His eyes scanned you up and down, taking you in before he officially entered the room.
He looked so relieved but also worried as he walked over next to you, sitting in a chair beside the bed.
Before you could say anything, he took both your hands in his and rested his head on top of them.
"Thank goodness you're safe. I was so worried," his voice was quiet and gentle.
You didn't know what reaction to expect, but it wasn't this one.
A couple of moments of silence passed, and he finally lifted his head to look at you again. This time, his face seemed more serious.
"What happened out there? What demon did this to you?" His serious tone wasn't one you ever got used to.
"I'm not sure," you admit.
"If I'm being completely honest with you, I didn't get the chance to learn much about it at all. All I know is that it has the ability to slow down its surroundings, allowing it to attack at a normal rate, and that's how I got here." It felt embarrassing to admit your failure, but his face showed understanding.
Kyojuro knew how hard you had worked and trained, and every solo mission you went on had been a complete success up until this point. So honestly, he seemed just as shocked as you were.
Once he noticed your bandaged wound his serious face changed into a worried and sympathetic one.
"I'm so sorry, sunflower. I should've looked into the mission more before agreeing to let you go. I would never want you to be put in such a position," he said, pushing a piece of your hair behind your ear and staring into your eyes.
The embarrassment you tried to shut out just came rushing back in that moment.
"Please don't pity me. I failed my mission. It's all my fault. I understand if you are disappointed, but once I heal, I will make sure to find that demon and take it down."
He looked surprised for a moment, then a small smile appeared on his face.
"Little flame, there is no doubt in my mind that you are a skilled swordsman. I'm grateful not only to have you as my Tsuguko but also as my partner," he said, reaching up and planting a small kiss on your forehead.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, my love. You did your best! As long as you return home to me at the end of the day, I will never be disappointed in you."
Your heart melted at his words. Kyo would never be angry with you. He loved you. All he ever wanted was for you to be safe and happy.
His bright, happy smile made everything in the world seem good again. You wanted to just wrap your arms around him and hold on tight.
Then he stood up, wrapping his arms around your shoulders gently.
You finally felt the weight of the situation being lifted off your shoulders. The demon, the fear of bleeding out on the ground, the idea of disappointing Kyojuro, all of it gone.
Tears escaped the corners of your eyes. You hadn't let yourself cry this entire time, but his arms felt safe. As long as Kyojuro was there to support you, you finally felt vulnerable.
Kyojuro's arms felt so protective around you as you cried into him. He knew the stress you had been put through was probably overwhelming.
And even though he'd never show it, his anger made him vow to find this demon and ensure it would never hurt you again.
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simphornies · 9 months ago
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Glitchy [ Vox x F!Reader ] pt. 2 (NSFW)
A/N: Was not expecting the attention the last one got. I already had a part 2 in my head as soon as I posted it. Sorry if the writing is off! I'm a bit rusty. Enjoy!
MINORS DNI
Warnings: smut, teasing, light bondage(?), oral, creampie
Velvette's fashion show was ongoing. She somehow set you up to model one of her latest pieces as the grand finale. You liked to dress up but being in front of crowds that didn't involve killing made you nervous. "C'mon bitch! Are you ready?" She switches up your hair into a fitting updo, showing off your TV wire inspired earrings. "Oh Vox is going to love this one." To be honest, you did want to tease Vox a little bit to get back at him for spying on you. Valentino sneaked you into his office while he was asleep at his desk and you saw that most of the cameras were paused on you. "Did you really put on a whole show to fuck with him?" You asked, straightening out the skirt she had you put on, "And does this outfit have to be this short. You know I don't like showing off too much skin. Gives too much to look at." Your statement made Velvette and Valentino laugh, "Babe, with a body like that you should be showing off. It's almost a crime to keep them hidden." Val slaps your ass and pushed you towards the curtain, "You're almost up, knock Vox dead. Do that move I showed you too."
You rolled your eyes at them and walked away. Val looks down at Velvette, "$100 bucks if he short-circuits." She grinned, "$100 if he gets up and they fuck later." The two shook on their deal and walked around to get to their seats.
Vox didn't typically sit for Velvette's shows but you had asked him to show up because of a piece you said you wanted him to see. The two other Vees sit next to him, "You look like you're having the time of your life, Vox." Val teased. "Fuck off, if Y/N didn't ask me to be here, I wouldn't be. Where is she anyways? I would expect her to be here considering she wants me to see this piece so bad." Velvette gasps, "Wow. So you wouldn't even show up to my show if I told you to come? I'm so hurt." Her words filled with sarcasm. "Shut up. It's almost time for her part."
Vox blinked, "What? What do you mean he-" Her finger covered his mouth and Val moved his head to look at the stage, blowing out some smoke for "effect" as you make your way down the catwalk.
You donned a gorgeous off shoulder top that showed too much, or too little as Val would say, of your cleavage. A skin tight skirt that rode up a little bit as you walked the catwalk hugged your hips. Above your skirt, the strings of your thong (that Velvette insisted you wore) peeked over adding a little extra flair. And the best part? You were of course in Vox's signature colors. You did a spin showing off the outfit and scanned the crowd. Your eyes locked with Vox's and you smirked as you thought about what Val taught you hours before. You bent over in his direction, one hand on your knee and one hand on your hip. You spun on your red bottom heels and posed one last time for the cameras, looking at Vox before leaving him with a wink. You looked away as soon as you see his screen glitch, red liquid oozing from the side of his mouth.
After the show, you put on a mesh coat. Velvette came running at you with a hug, "You did wonderful! I knew you could nail that. Have you seen the ratings?" She whipped out her phone with an article raving about the latest show with you front and center of the pictures, "The people love you! And the sales are coming in." You smiled, happy that you impressed the fashion critic herself. "Glad I could make you proud, Velv." Claps came from behind you and you turn to see Valentino and Vox, walking side by side. "Amazing work, sweetie. You nailed the tit show." He smiled, giving you a hug as well. "Thanks Val. I would never have done that move if you didn't teach me the art of captivating an audience with my tits. You're the master." You elbowed the tall sex demon. "So, did you like the show Vox?" You looked up at him, trying to make the eye contact that he wasn't reciprocating. "Come on~ Did my tits glitch you out." You teased. He cleared his throat, finally making eye contact with you with his signature smile. "I already knew you were hot, baby. I love the color combo." He gives you a hug, whispering into your ear, "Did you do that on purpose to fuck with me?" "Pfff. Me? Why would I ever do such a thing?" You spin around and pulled Velvette close to you, arm over her shoulder, "Besides, I'm not the fashion genius here. She is." Velvette gave him a teasing look and laughed, "Oh I would never! You're reading too much into it. Now shoo, Y/N and I have an afterparty to go to!"
You weren't a fan of parties but Velvette insisted you come. Well, she bribed you with some drinks. You grab a glass of wine and walked out of the club to get a breath of fresh air. As you scrolled through your phone, you see from the corner of your eye a familiar red figure walking towards you. It was the radio demon himself, Alastor. "Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you. Quite the pleasure!" He grabs your hand to shake it, "I've seen your influence around town from the latest fashion show put on by the overlord Velvette and might I say you're quite the stunning lady." He plants a kiss on the back of your hand. You had your guards up, this was Alastor. The demon that brought down overlords as soon as he manifested into hell. What the fuck could he want from you? "Thank you for the praise." You say as you pull your hand away from him, "What can I do for you, Alastor sir?" You back up slightly, taking steps back towards the entrance of the club hoping Velvette could see the predicament you're in. "Nothing too much. I just have a couple of...questions for you, my dear!" He grins menacingly, "You seem to be in close quarters with Vox, would you like to make a deal?" You scoff, "A deal? I'm not stupid. I'm not making a deal with you. What do you want?" "Would you like to go on a little outing with me?" "A what." "An outing! A gorgeous doll such as yourself must be exhausted having to deal with that annoyingly loud picture show." He was talking about Vox, "I could show you a better time. I can give you aid taking down all those who you wish if you permit me." Before you could answer, a glowing blue circle appears at your feet plunging you down to hell knows where. You land in Vox's lap, his face glitching with rage. "That fucker--Thank the seven rings I was watching around the club you were at." "Vox I-" "That little prick! I'll show him he shouldn't mess around with the Vees! That motherfucker-" "Vox." "-is lucky I wasn't there!" He chuckles, his one eye going crazy at the thought of Alastor hurting you. "Vox!" You yell, finally getting his attention. He seemed to have forgotten you were still in his lap in his fit of rage. He looks down at you, blushing a bit as you were still in the clothes from the fashion show. "Can you let me down please. Your little desk is cramped and I can't get myself off without getting tangled in your cords." Vox, in a panic, backs his chair up, a cord getting caught in one of the wheels and throwing you both back. He catches your head with his hand as to not hurt it. "Fuck. My bad. I was ju-" He cuts himself off noticing the position you're both in and the state of your clothes. He was on top of you and your top got yanked down a bit which meant your tits are now in full view. Not to mention the fact that you somehow got wrapped up in his cables. Him glitching at the sight of you made you smirk, "You like what you see? Or are you too angry at the radio demon talking to me to notice anything?" You cockily said before laughing, pulling your top up to put your tits away, "Now can you help me out of your cables, please?" Vox didn't move. He was frozen. You thought that maybe he short circuited. "Hello? Vox?" You place your hand on his screen, trying to knock him out of his daze, "Vox are you in the-" Before you could say another word he pins your wrist down above your head as he crashes his lips on yours. You melt against his, returning his affection. You taste a faint hint of mint on his tongue as he wraps it around yours, almost battling for a spot in your mouth.
When he pulls away, you were out of breath. You watch his eyes scan your body and take in the sight. "Sorry. I couldn't help myself to you. You just look...so hot right now." He says, taking his hand off of your wrists and trying to back up to free you. Your eyes wander and notice the bulge in his pants. A dirty thought crossing your mind. "If I look so hot, why don't you do something about it." You smirk up at him, gently guiding your knee over his bulge, sending shivers down his spine. "I'm stuck Vox, helpless under you. You really going to throw this golden opportunity away for both of us?" You teased. Vox composes himself and lets out a low chuckle, the antenna on his head letting out some sparks. "You've been driving me insane all day, babe." He speaks in a low tone, his voice turning you on. You feel around above you and grab the nearest cables and tangle your wrists in it, "Show me what you can do, Vox."
He didn't hesitate to undo his bowtie. He took off your top, tossing them to the side before lifting up your skirt. He was taken aback at the thongs you were wearing, they matched his shirt. "Did Velvette put this one on you too?" He asks as he caresses your inner thigh. You purr at his touch, "Mmm...No. Those ones are mine. I got them after your confession~" "You know how to drive me crazy." He slides your thongs off and lightly drags his finger over your slit, making you shiver in excitement. "Now it's my turn to drive you crazy." His blue tongue sticks out of his screen and goes straight into eating you out, relishing your taste. You suppress your moans as to not let anybody else hear. "Be loud, this room is soundproof."
His tongue enters you and swirls around, driving you as crazy as you've been driving him. You squirm in pleasure as the overlord feasts upon you, licking up all the juices. You feel a knot forming in your stomach, your face flushing in delight, "Ah. V-Vox." You moan out, "I-I'm gonna-" He doesn't stop one bit, if anything it seems like he sped up. The knot grew tighter and tighter until you came all over his face. He pulls away, grinning as he looks at your shaking body.
"Let's go somewhere, more comfortable for you." He untangles you with ease, besides your wrists, and teleports the two of you into his already locked bedroom. He plops you down on the bed before taking his pants off, his cock leaking pre-cum. You drool at the sight of his length, "Come here." You say, still a bit out of breath, as you get on your knees for him. "Giving me orders now?" He chuckles as he got closer to your face, his cock resting on your cheek, "Is this what you want, babe?" You look up at him with lust filled eyes before you take him into your mouth, tongue wrapping around his length as you your head up and down. He grabs your hair, making sure it stays out of your face as he looks down at you sucking him, "What a good girl," He purrs, caressing your cheek. You pick up your speed, eager to taste him. Vox grunts in pleasure, thrusting his hips as he pushed himself deeper into you, "Make sure you take every last drop." He grabs your head and starts fucking your face deeper as he gets closer. His cock twitched before letting a load down your throat. He pulls himself out of you, your lips making a pop as he did. You open your mouth to show him what was left, closing it to swallow and opening it back up again to show him that you didn't leave a single drop. He puts his hand under your chin, "Now ass up, sweetheart." You wasted no second getting into position for him. You've been dying to take his cock ever since he confessed to you. Ever since you found out he watched you on his screens. Ever since you laid eyes on him actually. "You're drenched, babe." He grins as he rubs his tip at your entrance, "Beg." You whine and wiggle your hips, trying to see if you can slide him in yourself. He grabbed your hips firmly, slapping your ass, "I said, BEG." he demanded. "Please Vox." "Please what?" He teased his tip, pushing just a little bit in, "What do you want? Speak up." "Please fuck me senseless, Vox. Please." You pleaded in desperation. He grabs your hair, pulling your head up closer so he can whisper in your ear, "Good girl." God the way his voice changes sent shockwaves through out your body.
He enters you slowly, "I'm going to make your entire body glitch the way you made me glitch." He was relentless. Torturing you almost. He picked up his speed and started pounding into you. You moaned in delight, enjoying how rough he was with you. "Faster, please Vox." Your request filled with pleasure, "Vox. Pl-please!" He slaps your ass in response, letting go of your hair and holding your head down on the bed, "Since you asked so nicely." He kept himself at a quick pace, taking in the sight of you drooling on his sheets. He pulls out of you to flip you over, you were about to whine but him suddenly filling you back up again stopped that quick.
Your walls tightened around him, "You're so tight. Are you gonna cum for me like a good girl?" Your brain was turning into mush, rendering you unable to form a real response. The only sounds coming from your mouth were ineligible slurred words and moans. "I'm going to fill you up as deep as I can. I'm making you mine." He growls, pinning your tied wrists above your head. He plants on your chest before licking your exposed chest. He leaves hickies all over your chest, marking this night on your body for only him to see. You feel the familiar knot forming in your stomach again and you're positive he can feel it too. He grunts as he thrusted into you with reckless abandon, pounding you senseless into his mattress.
"V-Vox. Pl-please." He kisses you with as much passion as he could give as you cum around his cock, tightening your walls so much you squeeze him dry as he released his fluids deep into you. The electricity crackled as soon as he came before everything powered down around you. He pulls away from you, resting his head on your neck as he tried to catch his breath. You can see the light emitting from his face flickering different colors.
He pulls out of you, his cum flowing out. He grabs a towel to clean you off as well as he was able to before cleaning himself off. He unties your wrist before plopping down next to you. You nuzzle up next to him. The city lights turn back on and the light seeped into his room. He seems to have kept the lights off in the room. You feel his arm wrap around you. You look up at him, hand resting on his chest.
"Was the teasing worth it or what?" You asked, giggling a little bit. "Hell yeah it did. I'm so glad I sat through the whole show just for you." He sighs contently, pulling you closer to him. "Will you run this entire hell with me, dear?"
"Gladly, Vox."
Valentino groans as he sends over $100 to Velvette. "You of all people should know he wasn't going to be able to pussy out this time." She grins.
628 notes · View notes
sweetinsaniiity · 5 months ago
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In The Light Of Our Demise
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► 𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 - photographer!wooyoung x fem!reader!Y/N x OT8Teez! (𝒶𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜/𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 - fluff, friendship, unrequited love, slice of life, angst, plot twist, slow burn, friends to-strangers to-friends , moving on , happy ending (or is it?) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 - depression, anxiety ◄ ► 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 23.4K ◄ ► 𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 - someone who was afraid of getting out of their comfort zone and someone who was afraid of committing to anything and anyone is never a good combination. Would Wooyoung remain in your life if you confessed? If he left, what would you do? ◄
► 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 - Hello! This is my first fanfic, at least here on Tumblr! Cut me some slack I suppose lmao and let me know if I should continue. If so, let me know if you want to be added to my future taglist! Title from Motionless In White. ◄
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I'm not God, but they're trying to kill me. This all-knowing desperation I've been feeling for quite sometime now, I mean.
I don't remember the last time I've felt this lonely. There were times where my emotions felt a little too much to handle, but not to the point that rendered me unable to want to feel alive. Today, the sadness drained through me rather than lingering outside my skin, traveling through every nerve, but to my surprise, it rather electrified me to want to do something.
That's good, right? And so I did.
"I'll be back at noon," I told my kind mother, passing through her to try and get to the door before I changed my mind.
"I'm glad you've been going out lately, honey. Let me know when you need anything, okay?" she beamed, quite pleased that I was trying to do something with my life rather than mope around in my room all day.
Oh, how clueless she was. The truth was, I didn't want to let her know about the consuming melancholy that my heart had been feeling. 
Ever since I had decided to quit my job, nothing but bad luck has been coming my way. I know it was stupid, to just up and go just because I was unsatisfied with what I was doing, but truth be told, I was not happy anymore. I could never go on doing something I truly wasn't happy with.
But I was bored out of my mind, and most of all, I felt utterly useless and hopeless. It was dangerous - the path my thoughts were taking me. It's the road that led to my burnout, and the impatience this world had always given me.
"No point in trying to convince myself that things would be different," I mumbled to myself, sitting on the park bench nearby.
Click, click
I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice that my feet took me to the park I always went to when I just wanted to be alone in my thoughts and think of my next move. I suppose I was always so discontented with my life that my body had subconsciously learned what to do on its own.
Click, click
No matter, I thought, I was the master of pushing it through. My path had been very foggy lately, anyway. I just have to be patient if the world can't do it for me so I can wait for it to clear up and show me the next adventure that lay ahead of me. 
Click, click
I frowned, what in the hell is that clicking sound I keep hearing?
I pulled my cardigan close, as if doing so would stop the exposure I suddenly felt from being out in the open. I looked around, but there was nothing. There were parents with their children, dogs with their owners, coaches with their students, and ducks with their ponds.
"Miss? You dropped this---"
"Oh my God!" I squealed like cattle about to be slaughtered as I turned around to find the source of the sudden voice. I had always been jittery, you see.
I turned around, and the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life was behind me holding what seems to be my phone. I didn't even realize that I'd dropped it while I was busy spacing out in my thoughts.
His eyes were widened, directed at me. I guess I'm not the only jittery one here. 
He had average length hair that swayed with the oncoming wind, but what set it apart was its bright red tone that was as vivid as the flowers that surrounded both of us. His lips were plump and raised into a charming smile and his steps had a bounce to them.
Oh God, be still, my beating heart. I blushed, the red tinge on my cheeks vibrant in contrast to my pale skin. I hope he can't hear how loud my heart is beating.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you," I was meeker than I usually was.
He saw the surprise register on my face before I could hide it. His smile becomes wider, I guess he gets this a lot, and the heat on my face gets warmer. If he wasn't good-looking before, he definitely was now.
"Don't worry about it, I didn't mean to scare you," he laughed, handing me my phone. I slowly took it, praying that my hands didn't shake too much.
I swallowed. Even his voice was pretty. It reminded me of soft marshmallows, so pillowy and comforting, so sweet and yet so rich at the same time. I mentally slap myself, I haven't gone out in days and the first thing I do is openly check out a guy who was nice enough to give me my phone back instead of running away with it?
My voluntary isolation sure did its number on me.
But then I saw it. There was something slinging across his shoulder - a bag. It donned a big camera that I knew for a fact was quite expensive. So that was the clicking sound I heard earlier, he was a photographer.
"Ah," he began, scratching the back of his head. "I was snapping pictures of you earlier with this." He gently pats the bag. "Would you like to see?" 
"S-Sure," I agreed, hesitant.
"I'm not a creep, I promise," he panicked, animatedly defending himself by making a point to wave his hands in front of me. I giggled a little. He was cute. "I do this for a living, street photography I mean."
"I see. I, uh, sorry to disappoint you, Mr..?"
"Oh. I'm Wooyoung. And why are you sorry? I'm the one who took photos of you randomly," he tilted his head in confusion.
"It's not that," I paused, biting my lip, not knowing how to proceed. I don't miss the way his eyes follow the movement. "I haven't been myself lately, so I probably look unfit for your photography concept..."
I wasn't trying to fish for any sort of compliment. It was true, I did look and feel like shit, to put it simply. I haven't been taking care of myself lately - my clothes were wrinkly, my hair was a bird's nest, my eyes had no life in them, and my face has been splotchy with my dark circles and zit marks.
Unlike him. He was casual, but there was coordination with his outfits, and they looked impeccably new.
"On the contrary, Miss...?"
I laughed a bit. He was cute, and very playful at the same time. What a dangerous combination. His mouth curls into a good-natured smirk. "Y/N. Drop the 'miss', it makes me feel old." 
It was his turn to laugh a bit. "On the contrary, Y/N, yours was the best photo I have taken this week."
My blush deepens immensely, more than I thought I was able to. I matched it with a small, shy smile as my eyes shone in a way that only genuine happiness and appreciation can bring.
I've always been like that. I wish I didn't get so flustered easily. In a flash, my cheeks are rosy and anyone can peek inside my emotions as I had pried my insides open so they watch for themselves.
"Somehow I don't believe that," I chuckled, mentally rolling my eyes.
"No, I'm serious, here," Wooyoung zips his bag open, brings out the expensive looking camera, and presses a button that brings it back to life. "I'll show you."
Wooyoung scoots closer to me, bringing the equipment near my face so I can see the screen. I was so embarrassed at how much I had the urge to sniff him.
He smelled so good - very musky, leathery but very clean at the same time. It gives me the image of a pure sophistication behind a light curtain that envelops you in warmth.
I let out a light gasp, complete surprise taking over the shyness I felt earlier.
There I was, staring out nowhere in particular at the bench I was brooding my bad mood off on. But it wasn't me that stole both of our attention, there was a beautiful wisteria tree I hadn't noticed before behind me.
It was beautiful. The way they cascaded into this marvelous tendrils of purple beauty blended with how forlorn my expression was; the longing, regret, and despondence clearly evident, like the slow descent of its lilac petals, way down they go.
To the naked eye, it looked like a depressed girl with a pretty tree in the background, but to me and Wooyoung, it was so much deeper than that. The photo held so much depth, because at the same time, there was relief in my features. The sadness was exquisite.
"You," I paused, swallowing to force the words out of my mouth. "You made me look human."
"What makes you think I didn't capture you because you were the most human looking in here?"
His smile was the prettiest thing I've seen in a while, prettier than the wisteria, and I can tell it was genuine. I could have melted in a puddle right there. His eyes sparkle like the night sky as he browses at each photo he had taken. He had the passion I lacked.
"Do you want copies of it?" Wooyoung inquired.
Did I want copies of it? Did I want to stare at myself and get reminded every time about how lonely my life currently was? I don't know, I wasn't the sentimental type. He senses my hesitation and frowns a bit. 
He grabs a small piece of card and hands it to me. "Here's my card," he points at it. "That's the address, come swing by whenever you have the chance and I will give it to you, okay?"
I bit my lip apprehensively with a nod, pocketing the card in my cardigan. "Alright, I will think about it."
"I hope you do," he clicks his tongue, swiping it across his bottom lip. I stopped breathing for a second. "I wouldn't want to waste such a pretty photo."
I swallowed. "A-Ah, do I have to pay for it?"
"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he smirked, gently tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "There, much better."
I froze, not really knowing what to do. I sighed softly, I have been so deprived of touch because I poured all of my time on work. Well, at least what used to be my work. 
Wooyoung juts his hand out, waiting for me to shake it. I grabbed his hand halfheartedly. "I hope we see each other again," he said.
After we said our goodbyes - him being bubbly to the very end as he walked away and me just nodding as I watched him go - I treaded my way home.
I took out the card he gave me earlier, which turned out to be a business card, I realized, and not just a personal card. Of course, Y/N, he just met you, why would he give you his personal details? As I inspected the card further, it brought me slight joy to know that his work place wasn't far from my house, just a couple of blocks away.
I was hesitant, truth be told, it was probably a one time encounter, most likely a business tactic to get someone to go into their studio and do business with them. I felt bad because Wooyoung seemed like a genuine person, but there was no way I was adding any sort of change in my current life right now, my mind was a mess as is.
With that, I crumpled up the card and threw it in the nearest bin.
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I paused at the doorway, hesitating before anyone - Wooyoung - knew I was here. I knew I had to go in, and by God, I was nervous as hell. I just needed a few minutes to compose myself.
The curiosity had been eating away at me. It had been 2 weeks before deciding I would stop prancing around at it and just get it over with.
To hell with it, I thought, hastily putting on the most mediocre outfit I can get away with today. It wasn't meant to impress, a simple white tee paired with jeans and sneakers was enough to look decent and be comfortable at the same time.
Deep inside, maybe I just wanted to see the striking photographer again and hear his voice; to see his sparkling eyes that quickly held me in like a moth to a flame.
I stepped in and was immediately greeted by a myriad of photographs that were just placed where they were, the closest thing we get to a time capsule. I was immediately amazed by how versatile the photos were - all of them had their own stories to tell.
A photograph of an old, vintage clock caught my attention. I'm not very knowledgeable, but it was an antique, I was sure of it. It was made out of wood that probably looked sleek during its era. 
Unconsciously, I touched the frame, like it would come back to life if I did. Then, I saw something at the bottom right of the frame. Taking a closer look, it was a series of small letters stamped on it.
J. WY/Budapest, Hungary/2023/Paradigm
I traced the embossed letters lightly with my fingertips. It was obvious that this one was Wooyoung's piece. He had a very particular style in his art, he tended to focus on the subjects and the corresponding backgrounds were something to compliment the subject, and not to supply added detail. It was very interesting.
"I can hear the gears in your head turning from where I am."
I was a deer in headlights once more with him. "You got a thing for sneaking up on me?" I teased.
There he was in his handsome glory leaning by the door with his arms crossed. "Maybe," he smirked coyly.
My heart went up to my throat when I realized that today, his hair slicked back today. I was able to see his face clearly, his beauty was insane. Heaven knows I would look like a wet chicken. He walks steadily towards me and stares fondly at the vintage watch photo.
"I went to Budapest with all of my friends, we all work in this studio together, for a vacation," he chuckled, reminiscing. "But I couldn't resist not taking the scenery for work. God, that place was beautiful..."
Just like you.
I cringed internally, turning my head a bit away from him so he couldn't see the grimace on my face. It wasn't a lie, he was beautiful, but I wasn't going to admit that to him, or anybody for that matter.
"I like them," I thoughtfully mumbled.
Wooyoung turns to look at me, and I tried very hard not to look at him back by pretending that I was inspecting the photo furthermore. There was not a lick of knowledge in my head about photography, I hope he doesn't notice that. 
He stares for what seemed like forever, not blinking nor breathing, the effect was a slow burn waiting to incinerate the thin thread that bound us both. Although I wasn't looking straight at him, it was his lips that gave away that he knew that I knew what he was doing; he wasn't smiling, there was just a slight tilt on one corner.
"Do you, now?" he wondered, now full-on smirking.
"Yes," I affirmed. Was that rhetoric? Was I supposed to say no?
He audibly sighed, and I frowned. I know that sound, it was the sound of negative memories suddenly surging our minds, crashing in like a tidal wave, and my, once you start? They become very addicting, slowly consuming your thoughts until they become no more.
"You know, I never used to look at the photos I snap after I take 'em?" Wooyoung's smile was tinged with hurt, but more so of reminisce. "I just snap, snap, and then keep snapping and hope for the best outcome when San develops them in the back for me."
"Is that what you did when you stole those moments of mine a couple of weeks back?" I swallowed nervously, my body was already anxious and my brain is trying to catch up on it any moment now.
"No," he firmly articulated, so firmly my heart leapt to my throat and tightened it further. 
Wooyoung gently grabs my chin, turning it towards himself so I can make eye contact with him. "Because I knew you wouldn't come back to me until a few days after. I saw it in your eyes."
To him? This was the second time he stole something from me. Instead of a photo, now it was the breath from my lungs. I am on fire, my skin was burning from his touch. 
"Frankly, I wasn't expecting two weeks, that was longer than I anticipated," he chuckled lowly, his thumb caressing my cheek tenderly, and I let him. I was too frozen to protest.
"You knew all that even before you approached me that day? From that far?" I raised a brow. I was hesitant, but I was willing to play his game even though I knew he was probably bullshitting me.
"I'm a photographer, Y/N. It's my job to look through the windows of people's souls---"
"What do you want from me?"
Wooyoung lets go of my face, hands now in his pockets. He doesn't look a bit surprised, just a little concerned. "What do you mean?" he frowned, tilting his head to the side in wonder.
The paranoia in me had always been borderline terrified of not only trying new things, but also meeting new people in association. The underlying fear of deception from years and years of let down between family and friends has rendered me closed off of opening allowances to let myself experience new things and let people in.
"You act like we're friends, and we are not," I bit my lip, exasperated. "I don't like that."
"Are you saying that there are certain prerequisites to being friends with other people?" Wooyoung tuts, frowning deeper. "Everyone has to start from somewhere, no?"
He was right, I can admit that. I began to see how my self-deprecating thoughts had kept me all alone, and frankly, I was none the wiser on what it's like on the side.
"I'll tell you what, Y/N, how about I give you your photo and you can tell me what you're thinking over coffee, perhaps? I make a mean cup of coffee," Wooyoung suggested kindly, his eyes shining in anticipation for my response.
I frowned, shuffling my feet in anxiety. "What if people come inside your studio? And your friends?"
"Don't worry about that," he smiled, already taking a step towards the other room where he came from. "We actually don't open on the weekends. I just always came in because I was worried you would come looking for me when I wasn't here."
It was such a simple gesture, but it blew both my heart and my mind. My heart is so full right it could burst in any minute.
Wooyoung flashes me his million dollar smile, the one that made me want to see him again, and holds his hand out for me to grab. "Why are you hesitating?"
"I hesitate because I need to be sure because for the first time in a while, there are things that I do want, and the consequences of my errors would forever haunt me," I blurted uncontrollably, babbling before I could stop my mouth from speaking.
My mind began to work overload with anxiety but before I could act out on them, Wooyoung laughed out loud. His eyes crinkle upwards into the cutest crescents, and his beautiful lips stretched out with mirth. 
His laughter reminded me of a fox, loud and boisterous, and I couldn't help but join in with him as he warmed my soul and made my day. "You're fine, come on," he urged me in between laughter.
More photos, albeit with unfinished frames, greeted me when I followed Wooyoung into what I can only assume was the kitchen. It was small, but it was nice and actually very functional. I sat into one of the sleek, modern stools and leaned towards the small kitchen island while Wooyoung went to town and made both of us coffee.
"Sugar?" he absentmindedly asked.
"H-Huh?" I was a deer in sudden headlights.
Wooyoung seemed to be confused too as we both looked at each other in bewilderment. Without warning, his face contorts into a laughing mess again, making me blush.
"I was asking if you wanted sugar in your coffee," he chuckled. "Although if you want me to call you sugar, that could be arranged too."
I blushed even deeper, awkwardly covering my face in embarrassment. I felt the tips of my ears heat up and I must have looked so stupid in front of him. "Stop," I groaned, my voice muffled by my hands.
And being the gentleman he was, he did actually stop teasing me.
But it was mainly because he had two steaming mugs of coffee carefully balanced with his two hands as he walked towards me. I mumbled a 'thanks' when I received mine. 
"Now we can talk about why you're very sad," Wooyoung took a sip from his mug without breaking eye contact with me. I gulped.
My brows shot upwards in surprise and my eyes widened in apprehension at the same time. "How did you know I was sad?" I inquired, not sure on how to react.
Wooyoung smiled mischievously. "I just do," he winked.
Having no choice, and frankly having no one to talk to in general, I told him everything. I told him how I had quit my previous job because I was beginning to feel very unhappy with the toxicity that surrounded me and how suffocating it was to stay in a place where you weren't even wanted.
I told him how I was trying to look for another job, but the fear of trying a new one and not being sure if it was a good suit for me was a little daunting, so to speak.
He listened attentively to each word I said, not once interjecting to put his two cents in before I was done finishing, and only asking me some small questions for the sake of clarification. 
It almost makes me want to cry at how attentive he was to me, even though this was only the second time we're meeting. The way his eyes bore into me while I poured my heart out, the way he would nod and acknowledge the things I would say, he was such a good listener.
I can't say I've had too many good friends in my life, though there have been a few close ones, they were not enough for me to say that they were good to me. Wooyoung seemed to be a rare gem, one that I would love to keep for myself.
"What if I told you I know a place where you can start working?"
"You do?" I was hopeful.
Wooyoung nodded. "But are you sure you're going to be okay going to work so soon again?"
My chest warms up with his words. "I have to do it," I sighed deeply. "Y-You were right, if I don't start now, then I won't start at all."
He smiles broadly. "That's a good outlook, I like that..."
He proceeded to tell me about the boutique down the street a couple of blocks away from his studio and they were looking for someone to keep tabs of sale and returned products. As it turned out, the owner was Wooyoung's very close friend and the boutique was where they get their clothes and props whenever they had a photoshoot going on.
"He's a nice guy and I'm positive he'll like you, just let me call him so I can pitch in a word for you, hmm?" Wooyoung pulled his phone out and was about to dial the number, but I interjected before he could do it.
"W-Wait, don't do it," I squeaked, holding my hands out to him to stop him from doing so.
"What's the matter?" Wooyoung's eyes softened at my panicked state and I almost felt bad. I barely knew this man and he probably thinks I'm so pathetic already. It was disheartening.
"You've helped me so much already, I'd feel bad if you did this for me," I admitted.
"And what exactly have I done for you?"  
"Listening to me rant was a big thing for me, and you do make a mean coffee," I giggled, he smiles shyly. "And you gave me justice on the photo you took of me."
"Speaking of that," Wooyoung stood up from his stool. "Wait here."
He left to go back to the front entrance of the studio, and he came back immediately. "Here."
He nudged a square-shaped packaging in front of me. I took it and from touch, I knew it was a picture frame that he had wrapped so carefully and perfectly, there were no creases on the wrap. My heart was beating so fast and my fingers were shaking ever so slightly.
"Open it when you get home," he instructed. "And I'm going to call him, my friend I mean. If I'm helping you anyway, I might as well go all out on it." 
"It's not a big deal," Wooyoung continued when I didn't respond, playfully flicking my forehead. "What are friends for?"
An explosive sensation boomed its way into my head all the way down to my chest, leaving a searing type of numbness in its trail. "Okay," I mumbled.
Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to him because I told my mother I was only picking the picture frame up, I was not expecting to stay this long, so she was probably worried. Fortunately, Wooyoung understood and walked me out. We couldn't properly converse afterwards anyway because a client of his suddenly called out of the blue after he had dropped the call with his boutique owner friend.
We said our goodbyes and I speed walk all the way to my house with the carefully wrapped picture frame in my hands. There was an explosion in my brain - the good kind - and a surge of excitement that electrified my whole being. I could feel it in my bones.
This is the very time I have ever been excited with a mystery. I hated surprises growing up because I was scared I wouldn't like the surprise.
With no time to waste, I quickly locked myself in my room, taking all of my clothes off in a haste and replacing them with something more comfortable and nap worthy. I unwrapped the gift like an animal tearing its prey apart to find their treasure inside.
Tears found their way in my eyes. I had no words, the photo itself was beautiful, I had seen it before, but Wooyoung had left a small note taped on the frame for me to read when I opened it.
You're worth more than you think. Wanna hang out tomorrow, beautiful? I also make mean brownies ;)
I completely broke down, hysterically crying not from sadness, but from the joy of the events that have been happening to me. Maybe being his friend wasn't so bad after all.
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"So you must be Y/N, correct?"
Having a direct connection like Wooyoung did wonders from my interview process and I was called exactly a week after he made the call. 
"Y-Yes, I am," I did a deep 90 degree bow immediately, but not before the man's eyes widened a bit. "L/N Y/N, Sir. I'm very h-honoured to be chosen for this role."
Needless to say, I am a nervous wreck. Wooyoung conveniently forgot to tell me that this was no ordinary boutique. It's a very well known fashion brand that had the catchy 'started from the bottom, now we're here' origin story.
I opened my eyes, I didn't notice they were tightly shut before, when I felt hands nudging me to stand up straight. "It's okay," he laughed. "I don't bite, please stand up..."
This one was handsome as well. He had an edgier style to him that was unique to him and him only. Think bold, defiant, and unconventional. His blue hair added to that grunge aesthetic.
He cleared his throat before speaking. "Kim Hongjoong, owner, and your future boss," he grinned.
My face pales a bit. The Kim Hongjoong? The great mind behind the boutique NO1LIKEME? The one Wooyoung had casually called and got me in? What has my life become in a month?
"Scaring the new girl already, Joong?"
I turned around, and a taller man with dark hair and almond shaped eyes smiled lightly at me with his thick lips. I almost rolled my eyes, either I'm losing my mind, or Wooyoung, himself, and all of his friends are all damn attractive.
"Oh, this is her?" he pointed at me, to which Hongjoong nodded. "I see. Song Mingi, thank you for considering us."
Thank me? I scoffed internally, the co-founder of NO1LIKEME is thanking me for working with them? I suppose that was why they were successful.
Mingi excused himself to man the business while Hongjoong had toured me around the shop. It was a lot bigger on the inside than I had initially thought.
I couldn't help but become very excited as Hongjoong showed me how he personally designs most of their pieces without trying to mass produce the majority of their products, which was very respectable on his end because mass producing can downgrade their quality.
The brand that I only reached in my dreams is now my workplace. I have to thank Wooyoung personally when I see him again.
They needed someone to do inventory checks and match them with the accountancy department. Hongjoong has a big project coming soon to collaborate with an international brand and Mingi has to take over for now while he's abroad. Fair enough.
As we were about to go into his office to sit down and discuss further, I stopped in my tracks. The most gorgeous black, flared dress was hanging in one of the posts. It's very simple, but very versatile, not too long as it stopped above the knee, and the sheer bodice elevated it.
"You like it?" Hongjoong asked before I had the chance to feel the fabric.
"I love it, actually. I've never seen anything like it," I admitted.
He chuckled, plucking the dress from its hanger and handed it to me gently after he folded it in half. "Make sure it's well-loved, then, because it's yours now."
"W-What?" I spluttered, eyes wide open. "No, I was just admiring it, I can't possibly take it. C-Can I pay for it, at least?"
"Think of it as your first day perk," he shrugged. "And no offense, giving away one dress isn't going to make a dent in my business."
I blushed, embarrassed to the highest degree. I was just about to thank him profusely when Mingi suddenly popped his head by the door.
"They're here," was all he said before Hongjoong and I walked back into the main part of the shop.
And there he was - Wooyoung. He was in an engrossed conversation with Mingi along with another - surprise, surprise - handsome man. He had a manlier aura to him compared to the other three, which was an interesting mix to his feline features.
Wooyoung, as if sensing I was present, turned to my direction and the look in his eyes made my insides churn in excitement. His friends were all pretty, but none of them had an effect on him like he did.
"Hey Joong," Wooyoung greeted after approaching me and Hongjoong from across the boutique. He smiled even brighter as he ruffled my hair lightheartedly. "Are you taking care of my Y/N?"
I blushed beet red, lowering my gaze with a nervous laugh to avoid any sort of eye contact. He can't just say these things and not expect me to react! The cat-looking man Wooyoung was with smirks at me, clearly amused.
But maybe, it was just me putting more to it than I should. Wooyoung has been nothing but kind to me and I can't reciprocate that with anything other than gratefulness.
"Get the hell out of here," Hongjoong chided, rolling his eyes, but teasingly because his eyes were full of the same mischief, but they were gone when he turned to me. "My assistant, Jongho, will call you sometime this week so you can get started officially."
I stopped the urge to bow deeply again at him as he turned around to go back behind the shop and instead repeated multiple 'thank yous' at him to express my gratitude. 
"Y/N, this is San, my long time friend and co-worker in the studio," Wooyoung introduced me to the other guy he was with when there were just the three of us left.
San smiles and his deep dimples pop out along with it. He nods in acknowledgement. "Very nice to meet you, Y/N, I personally loved that one photo of yours that Wooyoung took."
"He is a good taker," I shyly replied, blushing at the compliment, although I knew it wasn't directly referenced to me.
San snorted. "Yeah, that's the only thing he's good at."
"Hey!"
Wooyoung playfully swatted San's bulky arms in defense. We all had a small laugh before they both noticed the bag I was holding with the dress inside of it. I simply told both of them that Hongjoong had just given it to me after I admired it.
Behind the strict demeanor of being a boss, was the very generous and giving nature of Hongjoong, apparently. He had meant to give me something anyway simply because I was now friends with them, and also because Wooyoung spoke highly of me. I slightly felt bad because really, I would have been fine without it.
I should have thanked him more before he left.
"I would love to stay with you both and hang out," San glances at his phone to check the time. "But I have business to attend to. Where's Mingi?"
I pointed at some random door where I saw the latter enter earlier. I was about to leave since technically today wasn't my first day, just an introduction to the shop, and was about to basically run back to my house, when Wooyoung follows me out the door and slings his arms across my shoulders.
"Oh, you're leaving San?" I halted on my tracks, blushing profusely like some hormonal teenager that's never been touched by the opposite sex before.
"He was never meant to come," he chuckled. "I was about to fetch you and he decided he was going to come with me since he has to pick up some props from this gig we have next week."
My heart was pounding against my chest like a bird wanting to be out of its cage. He was so close to me, so close I could smell his breath, his body heat seeping into my subliminal thoughts.
This was an invasion, an unwanted intimacy. How have I lived without it for so long?
"Are you tired?" Wooyoung suddenly asked, breaking my thoughts apart and scattering them with the wind.
"N-No, not really. Why?"
He pulls me closer, my body plush against his. I wanted to melt. "Good," he grinned. "Let's go."
He starts to walk, but I plant my feet firmly on the ground. "Woah, wait, where are we going?"
"Would you say yes if I said I already reserved a spot to this brunch spot?"
I blinked owlishly at him. "No, I can't, I already ate before I called Mingi..."
The truth was, I was slightly ashamed to go. The last thing I wanted was to be treated like some sort of charity case. 
Also the reason being, no matter how hard I try, I will think of this as a date.
Wooyoung pouts, his hold on me loosening a bit. "Pretty please? What, are you sick of me already because we hang out everyday now?"
My breath hitched, and I was this close to giving in, but I must prevail and resist those big, beautiful eyes that were holding me captive like a tight vice.
"Maybe next time---" I sheepishly began to say, but a prominent growl made both me and Wooyoung freeze.
I cursed under my breath in shame. My stomach had growled, begging to be fed, and had basically called me out on my lie.
"Yeah, you ate alright," Wooyoung sarcastically remarked.
The next thing I knew, Wooyoung had pretty much dragged me to this retro looking place. It was the opposite of intimate and warm, rather, it was very bright and lively, filled with colorful tables, a snack bar, and the entire wall was made to be a canvas for purposeful graffiti.
Immediately, we sat at the very end of all of the available tables and no time was wasted when we ordered something quick, yet filling for the both of us; a clubhouse sandwich for me and a cheeseburger for Wooyoung.
"This place is so nice, where'd you find it?" I was still mesmerized by the whole setup.
"Picked it out with you in mind," he smirked.
Instead of blushing like I usually do, I let out a genuine laugh. "Seriously," I shook my head playfully.
"I am serious," he expressed with a slight frown.
"Are you like this with all the people you meet?" I mused, curious on what he has to say.
"Like what?"
"You know, you are a very touchy-feely person, certainly very outgoing as well. Do you usually hang out with everyone like this?"
He paused, staring at me with a blank expression. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly drying up, my breath slowing down.
"Yes, I am," he articulated after a while. "I was born this way I suppose, I swear I don't purposely flirt with everybody I meet."
"Oh," I murmured.
My heart sank, it felt like concrete weighing it down. The high of being out with Wooyoung in one moment was cut down the next. Is this what heartbreak felt like?
A hand on top of mine fully enveloped it with warmth. "But you," Wooyoung's thumbs caressed my knuckles with a small smile. "You're different. I can't explain it, Y/N, I've been trying to reason with myself."
"What do you mean?" It was my turn to ask.
His hand squeezed mine, but I felt like my heart got squeezed instead. "Meeting you was unexpected, but I'm so sure it was written. You're very easy to talk to, and I feel like I'm someone and more. It's either you or I'm alone, do you understand what I'm getting at?"
Of course I do. There has not been a day where we haven't seen each other ever since I stepped foot in that studio.
"I do," I nodded my head, smiling purely at him. "I felt good with you in a way I haven't before with other people, Woo. Thank you for approaching me that day, I'm glad to be your...friend."
His eyes widen a bit and he freezes. "What?" I nervously asked. He giggled like a child with no worry, he was just happy. 
"You called me 'Woo', I like it." 
I nervously laughed, mumbling a little yeah. I didn't even notice.
Luckily for me, our food came in and swooped me out of an incoming awkward conversation, at least on my end.
I couldn't help but let out an endearing smile as I watched Wooyoung thank the waiter kindly and then drool at his cheeseburger. Everything about him was so captivating; he felt like a warm, cozy home.
For now, the glue keeping my heart together is strong. He deserved a good friend, and I will be that for him. 
Wooyoung opened his mouth midair when he caught me staring at him. "Dig in, your food will get cold," he mused with concern.
I nod my head at him with a smile. I think he and I are going to be fine.
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Approximately seven months have passed by since that fateful day. Passing each time with Wooyoung, in the most obscure of situations, made my heart yonder and sing in tunes I never knew were so melodious.
"You know what I've been thinking lately?" Wooyoung mumbled all of a sudden.
He was currently laying on my lap while I played with his hair with one hand and held a book near to my face with the other. "What were you thinking, Woo?"
Safe to say, we've gotten so close with each other, soaking into moments enveloped in warmth, and the happiness was the contentment I never knew I'd ever feel in this lifetime.
Chasing time next to him was my salvation; my heaven on earth.
"Do you have a goal in this life?"
I raised a brow at the sudden question, peeking at him from where I was. He was already staring at me from below, and my blushing cheeks never really got better.
"Too deep of a question this morning," I chuckled. "But what do you mean? Everyone has a goal in life, whether they know it or not."
"True, but what I meant to say is, have you ever had a list of things you wanted to do? Regardless of how weird they are or how unattainable, do you know what I'm trying to say?" Wooyoung, and he did, he was always so dramatic about it.
I gave him a hum before responding. "Are you having an existential crisis?"
"Maybe," he laughed in that contagious, fox-like laugh of his. "So do you?"
"I-I have this small bucket list from when I was like 10," I admitted, lifting my book to hide my face.
Suddenly, it was yanked from me and thrown across the room. My mouth hung in shock. "Wooyoung!"
"Pay attention to me," he pouted.
"What the hell are you? A baby?" I rolled my eyes so far back up my head I was surprised they didn't get stuck behind my head.
"Only if it's yours--ow!" I yanked his hair in warning before I exploded from all the constant flirting. Some things never change.
"Anyway," I paused a bit to think, but decided to just say what was on my mind in the end. "I want to go to Mars."
I held my breath, expecting to hear an obnoxious cackle from Wooyoung, but there was nothing. When I glanced down, there he was - waiting expectantly for me to continue.
"I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."
"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."
The way Wooyoung was looking at me with a soft expression, and I must have looked dumb - my eyes were dilated a bit, dazed, like my brain was having a short circuit.
"Last, I gulped. "I want to hold my breath for a minute straight."
He raised his brows in amusement. "I'm not good at doing it," I defended myself, slightly embarrassed. "The most I've done was 15 seconds."
Wooyoung didn't say anything, he just stared at me intently in the eye as if he was counting all the eyelashes I had attached. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. I frowned.
"What about you?" I softly asked. "Anything you'd like to do?"
It takes a solid minute for him to reply. "No, nothing in particular," he mumbled, his voice strained. "I don't like committing to something for a long time, you know that."
Indeed, I do. Once again, the shattering reality of how temporary all this was for the both of us was tearing me in two.
"There's just so much out there, you know?" Wooyoung continued. "So much to see, so much to feel, how can I just stay in one place?"
Wooyoung loved photography above anything else and was willing to spread his wings and venture out to find the perfect piece. He disliked committing his all in one place in case he had to leave one day. 
I remember the exact night we talked about it, a rainy day in July where we got too sentimental. I felt like choking, but there was nothing I could do, for this man was not mine to begin with.
"You know I will support you in whatever you want to do," I forced a smile on my face even though my mouth was on fire and my tongue hurt from the lies.
Wooyoung, again, stared at me intently. I blushed deep red, it looked like he was gazing through my skin and peeking through the darkest, deepest parts of my soul. The heat from his hooded eyelids emanated conflicted emotions, and then I saw it die as quick as it came.
"I know."
His sudden playful smirk painting his beautiful face throws me for a whiplash. Whatever that was, never happened.
He whips his phone out and starts tinkering with it with a concentration that looks too good on him - his stupidly attractive arms get veinier when he's concentrating and his brows furrowed together.
"Mars, huh?" he muttered, smirking, still not looking up from his phone.
"Yes? Don't make fun of me," I frowned.
"I'm not," he retorted. I looked at him in disdain. "I'm really not, I swear!"
I chose not to reply. Typical Woyooung, but that's what makes him so damn loveable; he was just being himself.
A couple of minutes later, Wooyoung pockets his phone, stands up dramatically, and hovers over me. "Get dressed," he said. "We're going somewhere."
I blinked repeatedly at him, and some more. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"What's wrong with my outfit right now?" I gestured to my oversized shirt and leggings.
He snorted comically. "Trust me, you're gonna need more than that."
Wooyoung saw the hesitation in my eyes. He hated committing as much as I hated trying new things. He extends his hand in front of me. 
"I've never led you astray, you know that," he whispered.
I nodded, taking his hand in mine. Even before he had asked, I was doomed anyway. How could I ever say no to him?
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Turns out he was right - I did need the extra layers.
It was, indeed, very cold right now. Wooyoung and I were currently in line, a line so long that it reached the outside of the establishment, and it was where we currently were.
"Woo, are you sure about this?" I asked through gritted teeth. "It's too windy, I think my fingers will fall off soon."
As if on cue, he pulls me closer to him. "It shouldn't take too long," he mumbled. "You okay?"
I nodded, humming a reply back at him. As long as I'm with you, everything will be alright...
"I must say," I began. "I didn't take you to be the museum type of guy."
Yes, we were currently in line to get inside this museum I have never ever seen before even though I've lived in this city my whole life. Wooyoung got both of us last minute tickets. The place was currently jam packed, the line was endless from behind us.
"I'm not," he shrugged. "I want to show you something."
My mind went into overdrive when Wooyoung quickly glanced at me before he looked back at the pamphlet he was holding. It was only a split second, but it was enough for me to infer the anticipation he had for this.
It was contagious and the dread I felt ebbed away.
"History and geology are both at the far right, art is by your left, cartography is unfortunately out of service indefinitely, and science is just straight ahead..."
The monotonous, robotic voice from the speaker all over when we got inside could have instructed better, but it was definitely better than getting lost. This place was massive.
"Let's go," Wooyoung enthusiastically grabbed my hand as we explored all the things we passed by.
"Oh Woo, look at that!" I giggled uncontrollably and hastily pointed out what I saw.
It was a life sized wood carving of a wisteria tree - the most beautiful thing I have ever seen as of late. Wooyoung squeezed my hand as we both approached it, reveling at the detail of whoever was its creator.
"Reminds you of something, doesn't it?" he smirked.
"How can I forget how we met?" I playfully rolled my eyes.
He laughed out loud, causing some people to look our way, but we couldn't care less. "As much as I want to stay, there's somewhere else we have to be," he winked.
He led me to the direction he, then, wanted to go. The way he pulled me with him made my heart swell. At the very moment, I blocked all the sounds, the chatter, from the background and I could only see him. 
Just when I felt like leading my heart somewhere else, he pulled it back towards him; a magnet I had no choice but to get attached to.
"W-Wooyoung?"
My eyes widened in disbelief when we stopped at something in particular. "I-Is this w-what I think it is?" I stuttered uncontrollably, gripping his hand tighter and tighter until he put his other hand on top of mine to stop me from shaking.
"Relax," he cooed. "And yes, it most certainly is."
Wooyoung had led me to the science section of the museum where there was a small room we could go inside - a planetarium. Today they just so happened to be exhibiting the planet Mars.
Wooyoung took me to Mars.
"Shall we go in?" Wooyoung gently guided me inside. My legs were weighted with lead, I couldn't do this on my own.
My breath came out in short intervals, my feelings overwhelming my sense of excitement muddled into a plate full of shock, confusion, and joy as I looked around the place with Wooyoung still holding my hand in his as if he knew I'd fall without him.
The whole room had a blue haze to it, the ceiling itself was a cool shade of midnight blue with little specks of white dots that were presumably the stars in the night sky. 
They covered the whole blue like snowflakes, and they would twinkle, or rather, blink at us, watching what we would do next.
I turned to look at Wooyoung, and my tears started to fall on their own. There was panic in his eyes, but he pulled me into a quick hug, and I hugged him back just as tight.
We didn't say a word, just basking in our body heat together with the stars as our witness.
He kissed my forehead tenderly before pointing out to a distance. "Look."
I gasped rather dramatically - it was Mars itself!
Or at least, a really big ball that was probably made out of styrofoam and dyed into the shade of rust red that mimicked the real deal.
"Before we go there, wipe your tears, jelly bean. I want you to be happy today..."
But he wiped my own tears for me anyway. Oh Wooyoung, I thought with dread. How do you expect me to not selfishly wish for you to stay instead of finding your own dreams?
Instead of a repeating robot telling everybody Mars' information, luckily it was an actual person making a presentation, like that of a tour guide but this one instead explained the planet with so much depth and detail.
Wooyoung makes an exaggerated "ah!" sound when the lecturer explains that the reason why Mars was red was because of the oxidation happening in regolith, the soil on the said planet, and thus making it appear red.
"Does anybody know how many moons the planet Mars has?" the lecturer had questioned with a pleasant smile.
"Two!" a teenager from the crowd had answered.
"Correct! Does anybody know what they're called?"
The crowd made confused noises and everyone seemed to be stumped for answers. I looked around and nobody seemed to know what they were, and even Wooyoung mutters something about not knowing that even moons had names. I sighed, mentally preparing myself so I don't get nervous.
"Phobos and Deimos," I had managed to answer without stuttering.
The lecturer looked surprised, but happy nonetheless that at least someone in the crowd knew. "That is correct!"
"Nerd," Wooyoung snickered. I elbowed him, too happy to let his jokes get to me.
When it got too crowded, we both decided to leave the museum as a whole. One thing we both had in common was that after a while, the air got stuffy when there was too much going on in one place.
The bus ride home was silent, but comfortable, and in reality, we were both too tired to talk anyway. With an adrenaline of short-lived bravery, I leaned my head against Wooyoung's shoulder. I sighed in relief when he didn't push me away.
"Did you have fun?" he asked with genuine curiosity when we both reached my front door.
"Did you?" I asked back with an equal amount of curiosity.
He nodded enthusiastically. "Of course I did, why wouldn't I?"
"You really didn't have to do this---"
He put his finger against my lip, effectively shutting me up and shutting my brain off as well. "Why can't you just enjoy the things I do for you?"
Because I am slowly getting more and more delusional with every single second I spend more with you and I keep imagining of what we would be like a few months from now- am I going to be alone again or will you remain in my life---
I shook my head to rid myself of the nastiest thoughts that keep coming through my psyche, but along with those was another burst of blood rushing to my brain that makes me do the unthinkable.
"Woah, woah," Wooyoung voice out, amused that I was initiating skin contact first. 
"Just shut up and let me hug you," I voiced out, but it came out muffled because my face was currently buried in his chest. "Thank you, Wooyoung, thank you very much, you have no idea what this means to me."
Wooyoung rocked me back and forth, healing my inner child. "I think I do," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him. "Just let it out..."
It was the first time he ever saw me cry willingly. The hands that patted my back provided me the solace I currently needed. They were gentle, soothing even. He had always been so patient with me, and those hands... 
Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far was his.
I felt selfish, so damn selfish, for feeling this way. But it's okay, none of it matters at this moment.
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Hey, ladybug. I don't think I'm able to make it in time today, or at all. Client is being finicky and all, I'm about to charge them extra for this. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you soon, hmm?
                         - J. WY
I heaved a loud, disappointed sigh as I locked my phone before pocketing it. My frown deepens and my brows knit in today's unexpected turn of events.
"That Wooyoung?"
"Yeah, says he can't make it today. Something about a shitty client," I shrugged.
I had invited Wooyoung last week to my family's dinner reunion. My whole family had taken a liking to Wooyoung - who wouldn't? - and my brother had suggested I invite him. This year, we were at our Uncle Yeonjun's place.
"It's not the end of the world," my brother teased.
I snorted loudly. "That obvious, Yeo? You look more crestfallen than I do."
Yeosang laughs heartily, taking a sip at whatever concoction our mother made. "I mean, I've only known him longer than you," he joked. 
It turned out that Woyooung was part of my brother's friend group, talk about coincidence. "Besides, you gotta cheer up before anyone notices," he added.
"Why?"
"Because you look like a lovesick puppy that got abandoned by its owner," he clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "No offense to our cousins, but they can be do damn nosy, especially Soobin and Kai."
I knew that Yeosang was just trying to distract me from whatever I was feeling. As per his advice, I faked a smile just so nobody questions why I'm feeling so down.
Wooyoung was currently out of town and had been so busy with his job so we haven't really seen each other for a couple of days now, however we do call each other every night.
My train of thoughts were squashed when Yeosang elbows me gently. "Hey," he said with a soft smile. "You want to get us food so I take you home?"
If I were to write on a piece of paper of how much my older brother has done for me, the trees would cease to exist from all the paper and wood for all the pencils.
The night wasn't all that bad, Yeosang did everything in his power to distract me and even brought our cousins into it, not that they knew what was up. We took the party to the backyard, just singing, dancing, and fooling around like the young adults we were.
The little reunion was family, music, and food. It was simple, memorable, and destined to make me forget for a little.
The night had to end, and that meant I had to go home alone to my thoughts. My parents will stay overnight and Yeosang did not live with us anymore.
The jingle of the front door's keys only solidified the loneliness that awaited for me from behind it.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I can just drive early in the morning," Yeosang suggested as we both walked in the house and closed the door behind him.
"Yeo, I'm not a child anymore," I chuckled. "I appreciate it, but you should go, you have work tomorrow, yes?"
"Well, yes, but---"
"Then get your ass out of here."
Yeosang rolled his eyes at my teasing tone, but ended up laughing anyway. He pulled me in for a quick hug and pecked cheek. "Call me if you need anything."
He was gone within a minute, and once again, I was left alone with my despair. And what better way to shower these thoughts out?
But that made it worse. The involuntary shower thoughts were poison to my already weak mind.
I've conquered the art of being alone, and now that I had Wooyoung with me, it never really made things easier. My endless days filled with cold fire were quickly replaced with warm companionship...
I felt like an empty box without him. It was ridiculous, really, I knew this was wrong; a mistake I knew I wasn't supposed to feel.
I missed him.
Ding, ding, ding
I had just finished dressing up when I heard the doorbell ring. Confused, I slowly treaded my way downstairs. My parents weren't supposed to be home and Yeosang would have called beforehand if he forgot something.
The doorbell rings again, more hurriedly the second time. Screw it, I thought apprehensively. Yeosang is in charge of my obituary if I unfortunately pass away tonight...
With a deep breath, I swung the door open, my eyes tightly shut. Yeah, I know, serial killers would love me.
Silence. I knew somebody was in front of me, but they weren't saying anything. My mind caught up with the stupidity of my actions and I froze. Is this how I die?
"A-Are you okay?"
That squeaky voice, that sounds so familiar. I wanted to smack my head, I missed him so much, I was hearing him.
"Nice tits, Y/N."
My eyes shot open so fast that the light came in a bit faster than I expected to and I became a little dizzy. My brain buffers while my thoughts try to catch up. After I realized what I just heard, I took a closer look in front of me.
I let out a little gasp. "W-Woo?" I whimpered pathetically.
There he was, standing at my doorway, 9 o'clock in the evening. My heart lurched at the sight of him - so ethereal.
There was nothing specific to him that made him so stunning to me, maybe it was his iconic red hair, or maybe the way he looked at me right now would be close. They were intense, yet gentle. Polite, but not noble. 
I blushed, wanting to cover up, but his eyes held me hostage. They trailed from my face, slowly down my neck, to my exposed cleavage, before bringing them back up again to look at me, the unmistakable hunger in those orbs very much present.
"Y/N," Wooyoung drawled out without breaking eye contact, sticking his tongue out to lick his bottom lip excruciatingly slow for my sanity. "Let me in."
A sudden wave of nausea hits me, rendering me weak in his mercy as I finally feel my brain melt in my head. What the hell.
His kissable lips pulled up slowly to a smirk, mischievous, and we were both released from that little cage of sin we almost trapped ourselves in. 
Woooyoung laughs out loud. "You should have seen your face," he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.
My face reddens both in embarrassment and mild anger. Against my better judgment, I move to slam the door to his face. "You!" I hissed menacingly.
"Wait, wait!" he panicked, quickly stopping the door from completely closing by putting his boots in between. "I'm sorry! You just looked so far away, I couldn't help but tease you--"
"Not helping your case, Woo--"
"I traveled here in two hours from a place that would have taken three," he whined, grabbing my hand from the outside. "Please?"
I let out a very loud exaggerated sigh before I let go of the door. Besides, he might not look like it, but Wooyoung was built. He could have pushed the door forcefully if he really wanted to.
"Sorry," he giggled, hugging me from behind with his head resting on top of my head. "Turn around for me?"
I'm so ashamed of how weak I had become with him, but what can I say? 
I buried my head on his chest, inhaling the scent that I missed so much - warm and clean - and everything hit me all at once.
He really was here with me. I was so happy that I almost felt sick and anxious. It comes off as a raging storm in my heart that was almost painful. The unbelievable sorrow I've gone through the last few days melted away in Wooyoung's blissful embrace.
"Did you drink tonight? How'd you get home?" he inquired after we pulled away.
"I did, and Yeosang took me home."
"Oh? Is he here? I didn't see his car outside."
I explained that Yeosang had to go back to his apartment because he had to work in the morning. He nodded intently, humming to himself.
"I have a surprise for you," he smiled, lifting the duffel bag he had bought with him. "How about you nap a bit while I prepare this?"
The next thing I knew, Wooyoung was already building a makeshift bed out of the couches we had in the living room so I could lay on them real quick.
The light pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the windows were the ones that woke me up. They have been falling steadily without fail before I opened my eyes. 
I would have been content staying in the warmth of the blankets, to grab a mug of tea and feel the soothing coldness of the breeze hit my nose as I inhaled deeply.
But I had to find Wooyoung. It wouldn't be too difficult, I knew exactly where he was. He loved the rain, you see.
A tender smile creeped up on his face when he noticed me sitting beside him on one of the stools on our roofed backyard. "You're awake," was all he said.
"How long was I out?" I groggily asked, swallowing the aspirin tablets he handed out. "Thanks."
"Not too long," he handed me a tall glass of water. "Close to an hour and a half, maybe."
"You were working while I was napping?" I gestured to the setup he had in front of us. Various strips of undeveloped films were strewn all over along with a camera I did not recognize, and...a glass pyramid?
"Nice paperweight," I pointed at it, a little hurt that even though he came for me, his focus was still on his work.
Wooyoung chuckled lightly. "No work, not necessarily," he shook his head. "That's not a paperweight. Why don't you be a doll and pick it up for me?"
I could feel the tips of my ears warm up but I picked up the pyramid anyway. It was a lot lighter than I initially thought it would be.
I looked at Wooyoung in confusion when he suddenly pointed out to the moon. "See the small beam of light coming down?" 
I nodded. Indeed, the moon seemed brighter today. It looked more beautiful than the stars that surrounded it. "That," he gestured to the triangular glass I was holding. "That is a prism, and I want you to put it where the moonlight is."
I frowned. "What?"
"If you're worried about the rain, you don't have to put it directly under it, just a small light would do," he bargained, chuckling at my confused face.
I did what he said, apprehensively stretching my hand out to put the so-called prism under the moonlight. I smiled a bit, I will admit, the combination of the rain and light hitting its surface made it look extremely breathtaking.
I tilted it slightly to catch the different angles since I realized each angle made it glow in different shades of lights. One flick of my wrist shone a colourful beam of light that landed on the ground. 
"Wow," I breathed out. "That's beautiful, Wooyoung."
He smiled back. "Keep tilting."
Suddenly, an arc formed from the prism to the ground beneath me. I was in awe, this one had different colours to it. From red to yellow to purple, it shone clearly against the rain. I giggled, it reminded me of rainbows. If only it was daytime...
I gasped, dropping the prism on the ground with a loud clunk. My face was drained of blood as I turned sharply to Wooyoung with wide eyes. But he wasn't worried about my pale state. His smile shone brighter than any prism out there. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to take a photo of his charming smile.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" he grinned, picking up the prism and tilting it himself against the rain and the light.
I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."
"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."
"You remembered, oh my God, you remembered..." I sniffled, burying my face in my hands.
"Why wouldn't I?" he smiled, pulling me in for a hug.
Wooyoung kissed my forehead delicately with great care and the look he gave me was something I will never forget.
We spent the next hour or so playing with different shapes of prisms that Wooyoung bought from where he went. The client he had earlier owned a glass manufacturing company and Wooyoung requested for these to be made as a form of payment.
This rainy day soaked all the memories we had made for both of us, providing us the soundtrack we deserved, and it was unlike any other. I laughed like I never laughed before at this crazy little daydream, wishing it would last forever.
And soon, I learned to love the rain like Wooyoung. There will never be a rainy day where I never not think of him ever again.
"You better make me look good or I won't give you pictures," he threatened playfully.
When the rain had stopped, we opted to take pictures as proof of this core memory. The unfamiliar camera I saw earlier turned out to be a self-developing one, the modern cameras that instantly printed out tiny polaroid pictures in less than fifteen seconds.
"You literally took the shittiest photos of me, you hypocrite," I rolled my eyes at him, trying my best to cover my eyes with the camera so he wouldn't see the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.
"They're mine to keep," Wooyoung stuck his tongue out at me. What a brat.
But he was my brat. The tears that were once the symbol of the everlasting happiness that Wooyoung had been willingly giving me, were now drowning me in the bottomless sorrow that embraced me in a sea of ice cold water.
I loved him.
If I ever cross my heart, if I ever lie or deny the heart that beated for him, then I'd hope to die.
I loved him when we both stared at that park's wisteria, I loved him when he laid in my arms until he fell asleep, I loved him when he told me he'd always be there for me, I loved him then, and I love him now.
"Do you want me to put the movie on?" I asked after we've both settled down, shivering a bit. I never realized how cold it was outside until both me and Wooyoung came back inside.
Wooyoung mumbled a soft hum of affirmation while he was busy in the kitchen reheating some food I had bought with Yeosang earlier. He wasn't even doing anything groundbreaking but he was still so devastatingly loveable in my eyes.
The movie was boring, or rather, my attention just wasn't geared towards it. All I could focus on was the intense, burning passion I had for my best friend. I shut my eyes closely, as if doing so will get rid of the plaguing thoughts.
I let out a small gasp when Wooyoung pulled me to him, his arms wrapped around my waist. "What's going on in that pretty little head?" he sluggishly asked, nudging his head in the crook of my neck.
I am about to explode. He has always been the cuddly kind, but now that I have finally admitted to myself how much I truly loved him, his touch burned me on the inside, electrifying every cell in my body in response to his tender touch. 
"Nothing," I shrugged nonchalantly.
He chuckled, gripping my jaw lightly and turning my head towards his. I stopped breathing when I realized that he was closer than I thought. If I lean even an centimeter more, our lips would touch.
Wooyoung searches my face intently. "Don't lie to me."
I stare at him in the eye, not really knowing what to say. His hand was still on my jaw, but that was the last of my worries right now. I really want to tell him, I want to shout how much I loved him; how much he made me feel like I was everything when in reality I was nothing.
My mouth opens to say something, but immediately closes. In a moment of realization, Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit before his hand dropped from my jaw. There was a storm brewing in those beautiful eyes, and at this moment, I knew I was about to lose him.
"W-Wooyoung," I blurted out, full on panicking at this point.
"Don't look at me like that," he whispered, his voice breaking in the middle.
"What do you mean?" I sniffled, wanting to reach out and touch him, but stopped myself.
"You know what I mean."
A bitter sensation rose like bile up my throat. My heart isn't just broken, it was now a shadow of what it once was that was slowly fading away little by little.
He knows. Him knowing me like the back of his hand was a curse to a blessing, and not that blessing was a curse. He knows that I am in love with him, the last thing I ever wanted him to know.
"Let's finish the movie," I giggled, though it probably sounded fake.
I frowned when Wooyoung shut the TV off as a whole. "Y/N," he sounded stern. I stayed silent, not even looking him in the eye. 
He sighed deeply. "I can give you anything, but not that," he stated, his arms still around my waist tightening a bit. "You're my best friend, I cannot lose you. Not like this."
My fear of loss was proof of my love for him. I loved him so much, I was willing to let him go.
I rolled my eyes playfully, forcing myself to look at him and grin widely, even though my tongue burned. "What are you saying? We'll be friends until the end of time," I laughed, lightheartedly elbowing him.
There was a passing look of hurt in his features, but it left as soon as it came. "Are you sure you're fine with this?" he squinted his eyes suspiciously at me.
"Of course," I snorted. "Maybe I'm just confused, but you know me Youngie, I'm tough."
He was still suspicious, but he laughed along with me anyway. "I know you are," he chortled, pinching my cheek really, really hard.
"Ow! You imp!" I grab his cheek to pinch it back just as hard, playing along with him.
We decided not to finish the movie and just rest for the night. As I lay back down on the makeshift bed Wooyoung made for me earlier, with him cuddling me from behind and pretty much spooning me, I let it all out.
Silent tears flowed down from my eyes and I had to put my knuckles in my mouth to prevent myself from making any sound. I can feel Woyooung's chest rising up and down against my back and that's how I knew he was sleeping, but I didn't want to risk waking him up.
My heart hurt so much, because I knew my love will never be reciprocated. Wooyoung loved his dreams too much to choose us, I knew that. I tried so damn hard to stop my growing feelings but to no avail. The voice that came out from me so naturally to tell him that I was fine, that what I felt for him was just a silly little crush, sounded so far away; it didn't even sound like me.
The attraction between us became an intangible broken thread and there was no way to reattach the fragments, though I know that I was the only one scattered and lost.
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I knew we weren't going to last forever, but I wasn't expecting the beginning of the end to happen so soon.
A knock from my left snaps me out of my thoughts. It was Mingi tapping on my desk, his brow raised.
"Sorry," I sheepishly mumbled, trying to focus on the task at hand. Hongjoong already left for New York so it was just me and Mingi in the shop.
I couldn't concentrate, I kept glancing at my phone hoping Wooyoung would reply to my messages. Something was wrong, and I was very close to having a mental breakdown.
Woo? Are you busy? Wanna hang out at the new place later after work?
I kept telling myself that it was fine, he's busy, he's been in-demand lately because he truly was a talented photographer with a particular set of skills that were a rarity in such a condensed industry, but I couldn't help but feel like he's been very distant lately.
Wooyoung has been avoiding me and I don't know what to do.
To keep my insecurities in check, I've been going in the deepest pits of my mind to tolerate my thoughts and letting these negative feelings pass - so I can react appropriately and not go crazy over the things I had no control over.
Wooyoung? Is everything okay? You aren't responding...
Truth be told, I felt pathetic. I got so attached to Wooyoung that I forgot how I was before I met him - alone. It wasn't his fault, he doesn't owe me anything, it was me who let my heart chase a person who never even wanted to be found in the first place.
Another knock made me jump from my thoughts.
"Y/N," Mingi sighed, taking his glasses off and setting them down on his own desk. "Can I talk to you really quick?"
I bit my lip, nodding. Mingi had always been the type of boss that drew a line with everyone, except Hongjoong. He was strict, very intimidating, but it suited him, so I'm a bit nervous that he was calling me out. 
"I'll be straight with you, yeah? Is it Wooyoung?" he asked out of genuine curiosity, his sharp eyes piercing through me.
I didn't respond, I couldn't, so I kept my head low. I heard Mingi sigh again. "Hey," he says softly. "This is off the record, okay? I won't tell Hongjoong, although I suspect he already knows anyway."
I looked up, frowning. "What do you mean?" 
Mingi crossed his arms, leaning back against his chair a bit more relaxed. "I can't speak for him, but for me personally? I know Wooyoung more than you think I do. You just haven't seen us together because I've been so busy lately."
He was right. Mingi continued. "Look, it's a shame to see you like this. We really like you, you're hardworking, critical, smart, and whatnot..."
"T-Thank you, Mr. Song," I blurted out.
"Just Mingi," he brushed off. "What I'm trying to say is, save yourself for a man that isn't him. He won't choose you."
I already knew that, but hearing it didn't make it hurt less. Tears started to pool in the corners of my eyes. Mingi curses under his breath.
"Go home," he gestured out the door. "Take the day off."
"B-But we still have work left," I stuttered.
He gives me a small smile. "I'll manage. Go before I change my mind."
I suppose I was thankful about being sent home, it did help my nerves a bit. I've gotten home, showered, ate dinner, and did the most mundane things I could ever do, but Wooyoung never replied.
I woke up the next day, clutching my phone, muttering a little prayer in my head as if I would miraculously see his name pop up in my notifications, telling me good morning like he used to every single day.
The tears I've been holding off since yesterday ran down like waterfalls from my eyes. I missed him so much, and I've got nobody to blame but myself. I wished I kept it in, how much I loved him I mean. Maybe we would have been hanging out by now, laughing obnoxiously at nothing in particular.
Before I could stop myself, I dialed Wooyoung's number. The beating of my heart pounded along with the ringing tone against my ear. I was about to hang up, when I heard the familiar click of answer.
Hello?
I covered my mouth with my hand to prevent me from choking up. Oh, how I missed this voice.
"H-Hey, Woo, how are you doing?" I apprehensively asked.
I can't really talk right now, little dove, what do you want?
I was confused, my frown getting deeper. There was tension on the line, a tension so brittle it could snap in a moment, and if it doesn't, I might. He sounds like his normal self, but he sounds so rigid, his voice clipped.
"Nothing, I-I just wanted to hear your voice," I was so anxious at this point, especially when Wooyoung didn't say anything back for a moment.
I can feel the fear spreading throughout my chest. I let out a slow, controlled breath and attempted to loosen my body.
What? You called me for that? I have my own things to do, Y/N, you can't just call me for something so stupid.
I felt my heart bleed, twisting, turning, and rendering my insides tight. I don't respond, wide eyed, my heart in my throat. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be alright, to soothe me but instead he continued.
I'll call you when I have time, okay?
"B-But you said I can call you whenever I needed you," I whispered in the smallest voice I could muster.
I know what I said.
The tone of his voice, so cold and so upset, brought shivers down my spine. "I'm sorry," I whimpered. "I'm so lonely, I miss you. C-Can you come for a bit? O-Or I'll come if you cannot..."
I'll see.
And then he hung up, not bothering to wait for my response. Hot tears, ones he will never witness, were falling even faster than before and soaking my pillows. I felt the wetness of my skin and each drop killed my soul little by little.
What is happening? That wasn't the man I know, that wasn't the Wooyoung I have come to love over the past year.
Sharp knives dig into my heart even deeper, bringing more pain, making me cry out in the most desperate of as it keeps slicing over and over again. I was so lost at the torment my mind was putting me through.
When I was at my lowest, when others took what I could not afford to give, Wooyoung saved my life. The voice that once kept me alive was now the one that was slowly sucking every little bit of hope in my soul.
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The first day was fine, I was able to rationalize with myself and not think of Wooyoung every second of the day.
The first week was a bit difficult, but I was still able to manage and get by day by day even though I can feel myself slowly slipping away.
The first month, I couldn't take it anymore. My parents noticed that I wasn't being myself lately, but they chose not to comment anything out of respect, but when I completely stopped eating and going out was when they began to worry significantly.
I understand that my best friend might never be able to give back all the love I have from him, but there is something much, much worse than hate or ignorance.
It was indifference. The night I had unintentionally confessed to him was the night everything between us started to blur.. He was cold, I wasn't expecting him to love me back, but abandoning me and acting like I don't exist or matter at all was turning all my loneliness into desperation.
Screw it. If he's not going to see me, then I'll go see him.
It wasn't too difficult to borrow the family car with the pretense of going out to enjoy myself. They didn't know Wooyoung was the source of my melancholy. I haven't had the heart to tell them because they really liked him.
"Woo?" I knocked on his apartment door, the door that used to excite me, now terrified me.
No response. I knew for a fact that he was inside and was ignoring the hell out of me because his lights were on - he always turned them off whenever he was going somewhere all the time. I was getting extremely annoyed at this point, and my anger had nowhere to dissipate.
"Jung Wooyoung, I know you're in there," I knocked frantically. "Open the freaking door."
When I still got no reply, I had no choice but to get the spare key he hid under his doormat. I could've done it earlier, I wasn't in the mood to be disrespected right now.
The moment I swung his door open, I saw him. He was just there, sitting on a chair with his arms crossed, staring me directly in the eye. I stood by his doorway, frozen, staring back at him. 
"Woo--"
"Close the damn door and sit down," he sighed exasperatedly. The cold indifference in his eyes was killing me.
The atmosphere was completely tense, I didn't even know where to start. I used to love being in his apartment, but now I was itching to get out.
Then I saw it - the same duffle bag he bought the glass prism to give me a lunar rainbow now filled with all of his clothes.
"What the hell is this?" I gritted, not being able to hold back the anger I was feeling at the moment.
"What does it look like?" he glared, his jaw taut and clenched tight.
"Is this why you weren't talking to me?" I asked, my voice full of hurt. "How can you do this, Wooyoung? How could you do this to us?"
He scoffed. "There is no us, my princess," he mocked. It stung, I didn't know this Wooyoung, or was this his true nature all along?
"Then why am I still your princess, then?"
There was a second where his eyes morphed back into the man I loved, but before it even lasted, it went to this hostile stranger than got off on the hurt he was giving me. He avoided eye contact, opting to look down and stare at the floor tiles. 
"Say something," I begged.
"I heard you," he snapped, as if I meant absolutely nothing to him. 
Clearly, he wasn't expecting me to even confront him at all, and intended to push me far, far away as long as he possibly could.
That refusal to smile, to show me any warmth was his way of being antagonistic towards me.
His eyes stopped at mine, and the moment it laid on me, I knew that there was nothing left for me to salvage. This is really the end.
Tears flowed nonstop from my eyes and before I knew it, I was in front of him, aggressively hitting his chest using my fist with all my might, hoping he could feel all the pain he gave me.
"Stop it, Y/N," he hissed, trying to avoid my hits. But I didn't. All the anger and sadness were so intertwined that I didn't know which one prevailed.
"I said stop it!", he shouted. He grabbed my wrists painfully and held them against his chest. "You better stop, or so God help me, I will make you stop, and trust me, you do not want that."
Something akin to fear crept into my chest. I have never, ever heard him raise his voice before.
"Had I known that you were going to be the bane of my existence, I would have ignored you at the park back then!" I screeched at him, trying very hard to get my hands back by thrashing around.
"Had I known you were going to be like this, I wouldn't have taken a photo of you!" Wooyoung's grip got so tight that I literally felt no blood circulating towards my hand.
"You good for nothing ass, you're hurting me! Let me go!" I growled, but it came out as a whine.
"Not until you calm down!"
We went back and forth like that, arguing like little children. The fight between us was a destruction in the making, tearing us instead of bounding us together.
I swallowed the anger that threatened to spill out of me, and it grew in my chest as the person I loved did absolutely nothing to wipe the tears from my eyes. At least he was a bit surprised when I screamed a scream from deep within, and it terrified the both of us because it didn't even sound like me.
"How am I supposed to look at anyone else?" I cried, my head leaning on his chest out of exhaustion. "I don't want anyone else anymore because I will be afraid to trust."
"I'm sorry," was all he said. He didn't even want to wrap his arms around me and just let me hang in there.
"No, you're not," I cried even harder. 
"Y/N, please, you're making this difficult for me," his voice breaks in the middle. I feel the intensity in his voice, a massive amount of emotion behind every word he spoke.
"And how do you think I feel, Wooyoung?"
"I understand, but--"
"This is how you are, full of excuses, full of shit!"
"Let me talk--"
"Why are you leaving me? Why are you--"
"Because I love you!"
I must've looked so shocked, so devastated, and so scared that Wooyoung, himself, started breaking down. We held each other as if it was our last, and at that moment, it was just the two of us against everything in this world.
Wooyoung held my face with his shaking hands, tears flowing down from his own eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine. That somehow made me cry harder. "I love you so much, goddamn it," he choked.
"But you're not going to stay," I whimpered against his criminal hold. 
Though he felt so warm right now, I knew it wasn't going to last. I could get lost in his eyes right now because they felt like home as we both cried in each other's arms. After all the countless nights I wished he felt the same, this felt foreign. 
He was an oasis in a barren desert and the best thing I could do was stare.
"You appearing in my life was never planned," he whispered. "I never expected to fall as deeply as I did with you, Y/N."
"If you feel the same, then why can't you stay with me?" I asked pitifully.
"I can't, baby, this wasn't supposed to happen," he took a deep breath. "I can't love you."
"You can't, or you won't?"
He didn't respond. That got him. I sighed.
"Woo, look at me?" I tilted his chin up very gently until he did. "Don't do this to us," I pleaded. "You're looking at me with clouded eyes right now, you know I see through your lies..."
Wooyoung doesn't reply, choosing to walk away from me to pace across the room in a fret. I watched him collect his mind apprehensively.
"If I can't have me, then no one can," he finally said.
I stared at him as my heart started slowly breaking once again. This incomprehensible pain was consuming me bit by bit, my heart was bleeding.
"I would regret it for the rest of my life if I don't chase the longest dream I've ever had," his eyes were laced in pain. "The photography world is waiting for me..."
"Is this why you didn't want anything or anyone tying you down to this place, Woo? You didn't want to commit because you might never want to leave?"
That was it. The way he looked at me told me everything I needed to know. I had lost him before I even had him, and I can only weep and let myself come to terms with the one that got away. So I cried, I cried as Wooyoung held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth like he used to when we spent time together.
"Hush now," he started crying with me. "I hate that it seems you were never enough." He hugged me tighter. "Because you are, you were more than enough."
"But I'm the one that should mean something! So help me understand," I sobbed harder in his arms, afraid to let him go because he might disappear if I do.
He wipes my tears away with his thumbs. "If one day we see each other again," he croaked. "However long that will take, we will try again for each other, okay?"
I shook my head like a crazed maniac, muttering no, no, no repeatedly. "Wooyoung," I wailed, holding onto his arms tightly. "P-Please don't leave me..."
I begged him over and over again like my life depended on it, and to be fair, I felt like I was going to die if he left me entirely. At this point I didn't care if I was going to be his second choice as long as he stayed.
"Y/N, please don't make this harder than it is," Wooyoung denied. "Go home, please I'm begging you. You're going to make me do something we'll both regret, please."
He was about to leave, but I held him back from behind, holding onto him as tight as I possibly could. "Stop it," he pleaded, trying to pry my arms off of him, but I held tighter, wailing harder.
"P-Please, please don't go," I bawled. "I'll do anything, I'll--"
"Stop it!"
His booming voice made me gasp, or maybe that was the sudden hold he had on my shoulders. The way his eyes darkened wasn't something I missed as his nails dug into my shoulders.
"Do not say that," he hissed, his dark eyes boring into me. "We are both in my room, alone. You know what that means, right?"
"So take me, Wooyoung."
Something changed in the air, and between the two of us right at this moment. Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit, his hold on my shoulders tightening , before he grimaced. "You don't know what you're saying," he laughed dryly.
I knew it was wrong, but right now I wanted nothing but to feel all of him. I will throw all the dignity I have right now, I don't care. The moment I begged him to stay, I'd lost it all, anyway.
"The notion of sin has never sat too well with me," Wooyoung gulped, his voice thick with lust.
"And leaving me does?" I blurted, my own eyes hazy with want.
Wooyoung shook his head fervently and sweat was beginning to form at his hairline. "Y/N, I am only a man, please don't make me do it..."
He buried his head in the crook of my neck, his breathing was so laboured and every time he took a breath, I felt everything on my skin. I mewled when I felt him pause, then lick the most sensitive part of my neck.
"Fuck, you smell and taste so good," Wooyoung growled.
Everything happened so fast. In a split second, his touch electrified every nerve in my body, the intoxication was instantaneous. He hurriedly grabbed my face and immediately put his lips on mine, like I was his air and he needed me to live.
His arms wrap around my back, and in one motion, our bodies collide. His hand was pulling and tugging my hair, muttering how soft they were in between kisses. I kiss him back with equal fervent, quickly opening my mouth so his tongue can explore. Our bodies fit together like we were made to do this.
He pulls away and we lock eyes for a moment, just enough to see that we were far too gone to stop, before we were back at it again, this time on his bed. The kiss we shared was of raw intensity, the groans he made behind his throat made every hair on my body stand up in attention.
"Baby," he groaned, his voice muffled because he was back to attacking my neck. 
"Hmm?" was I could reply with, especially with how rough he was kneading my breasts from under my shirt. 
"You held your breath for a minute straight while my tongue was in your throat."
I blushed deep. We were almost about to have sex and he still remembered that? I never thought his mouth would be this dirty.
We caressed each other's skin through the night, not getting enough of each other as we became one. His touches were exhilarating, whenever he laid his fingers on my skin tingles. Both of us move in sync, not taking our eyes off of each other.
There were no thoughts, and no focus - only lust and desire.
My back arches in anticipation from his light hands as he watches my reaction, feeling how my hands shook, watching my body tremble every time he used his fingers.
Whatever Wooyoung was doing, there was no stopping. Just his scent from above me was enough to incapacitate me. Every thrust he did was enough for me to fall deeper, and deeper for him and he never stopped until we were warm and snuggled after we were finished.
But nothing lasts forever - even guilty pleasures. 
"Wooyoung?" I asked nobody in particular the moment I woke up, my voice sore from all the screaming the night prior.
I sat up, covering my body with the blanket that smelled so much like him, looking around to see if he was somewhere since he wasn't lying down beside me on his own bed, but no. 
I didn't think much of it, maybe he just went to the bathroom to freshen up, but deep down my heart, I knew he had left.
There was something on the spot where Wooyoung was supposed to be - a piece of paper. I hesitantly picked up, realized it was a letter addressed to me, and opened its contents. Little dots of wetness dropped down the paper from every tear as I read on.
'To the one I'm letting go,
I'm sorry, Y/N. I am so, so sorry for everything I will put you through starting now. By the time you're reading this, I would have been long gone.
You will always be the most important person of my life, whether you believe it or not. You have absolutely no idea how wonderful and colourful you have made my life into for the past year and I always smile knowing that you'd be there to share my achievements with.
I knew I would develop feelings for you the moment I saw you in that park. God, you looked so beautiful. The fates were funny like that, because I wasn't even supposed to be at the park that day. My usual spot was unavailable that day.
Please be happy, do not forget your meals, study well so you can go into that college you've always wanted to, don't eat too many sweets because they make you hyper, be mindful of nuts in every food since you are allergic to them since I can't be there to check them for you anymore.
The gift of friendship as great as yours is something I will forever cherish in my heart, Y/N. Our little moments where we laughed and cried together still makes me happy to this day. You may have come into my life unexpectedly for what felt like a minute, but the mark you left will last us forever.
You're going to have to move on for me, and I will do the same, even if it hurts both of us, okay? I have to leave, it's either you or my dreams, and I know you have dreams of your own. This love will always hold us back.
However, if I see you again one day, I cannot guarantee that I will hold back because I am going to take you whether you like it or not and make you mine.
But for now? I cannot hate you, but I cannot love you either.
Yours, J. WY'
I hyperventilated, my hands shaking violently as I held the letter that might as well have been my death certificate.
I knew one way or another, this was going to happen and I was prepared for it so I wouldn't get hurt in the near future, but it hasn't fully hit me until now. 
Long ago, I had forgotten how to scream because they were either ignored or criticized with cruelty, but the way I screamed my soul out broke my own heart. My grief came in waves, ebbing gradually at the ocean that needed to bleed from my eyes.
"Oh, Wooyoung," I cried his name out pitifully, holding the letter close to my heart. I knew I loved him, but the loss of him really solidified how strong it was. How was I supposed to survive the feeling of something so dear that got forcefully ripped away from me?
I must've wallowed in my despair and self-pity a little too much, that I forgot that there were clutters and footsteps outside of the room. They were the reason I woke up. Could it be..?
I half heartedly rubbed my tear-stained face with my hands to make the swelling go away before I dressed up decent enough to step out.
The footsteps stopped when I apprehensively opened the door, the creak of it echoing across the otherwise barren room. 
My eyes widened and landed on two men who were both staring at me also wide-eyed the moment I opened my door, as if they were listening in on me suffering.
"Who the hell are you?!" I had meant for that to be threatening, but it came out as a pathetic squeak.
They both stepped back, surprised at the spunk I had even though it was clearly very early in the morning.
"We mean no harm, we promise," one of them said calmly. He reminded me of a bear, and the relaxed fit of his jeans that tucked his black tee made his form even bigger. "I'm Jongho, your brother and the two workaholics sent me..."
I raised my brow, he must be Hongjoong's assistant, the other workaholic was Mingi. Yeosang did also mention a best friend in passing. I raised a brow on the other one expecting him to talk.
He was tall, definitely taller than Mingi, and they kind of looked like each other, though this one reminded me of an overgrown puppy. He was very good-looking as well. He was lean, though there's definitely some bulk on him too.
He waves a set of keys in front of him. "I'm Yunho, San gave me the keys," he worriedly explained. "I was hoping you could explain. I made breakfast..."
The food was very good, but I didn't have the heart to tell Yunho that Wooyoung's cooking was the one I craved for. I gave them the letter Wooyoung had written for me as I filled them in on some details about what happened. They were Wooyoung's really close friends, so I didn't have to fill in too much details since they pretty much knew the majority of it.
"He never told you it was love at first sight," Yunho shook his head as he passed the letter for Jongho to read. "That bastard, I told him to stay away from you if he was just going to leave."
"We tried very hard to change his mind, believe me," Jongho sighed, taking a sip of the coffee I made him earlier. Both of his eyes shot up as he stared at me. "Though I suppose this is one of the reasons why he couldn't stay away."
That one struck a nerve. Wooyoung was the one who taught me how to make good coffee. 
Yunho cleared his throat. "San doesn't know Wooyoung has left yet. If he found out, he would beat the shit out of him. San liked you a lot, he convinced Wooyoung the most to stay."
"And Hongjoong?"
"Hongjoong is, well, he is who he is. He just knows everything. He probably told Yeosang because he didn't have the heart to tell you." 
Yunho's phone started ringing, it gave me a slight migraine because that thing was loud as hell. Yunho mutters a sheepish apology. "Hello?"
"Alright, which one of you soul-sucking bastards stole my keys?! What the hell is even happening?!"
That actually made me giggle. Now I know why these two were sent to check up on me - Yunho was very easy to get along with and Jongho was the rational one to balance things.
"Who is that?"
Yunho and Jongho took turns to fill San in on everything that went down, and I felt bad for him because that also meant that San lost a friend. His heartbroken questions were making tears in my eyes.
"Sannie," Jongho sighed. "This is why we took the keys, we didn't want you to find out this way."
"Where is he, then?" San's voice was tight.
"You don't know either?" Yunho asked in surprise.
"N-No, Y/N? Is she okay?"
That completely broke me. It was ironic that Wooyoung's friends, people I wasn't even that familiar with in the first place, were the ones more concerned about me. I bitterly let my tears out, with Jongho patting my back to comfort me.
I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried until I felt my voice grow weary with excessive use, not caring that these two strangers and a man on the phone heard me break down pitifully.
Forget about me, Wooyoung had also left the people who loved him as well - his friends. In that regard, he was extremely selfish because he knew that hurt he would give to everyone, but he chose to do what he did anyway.
And just like that, he was gone.
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I lost track of time, I don't even remember the last time I actually cared to check.
Depression is a silly thing, something that I used to think never ended, but it does actually; you're going to feel it when you hit rock bottom.
"Have a good day everyone," I waved from the doorway of Mingi's office.
The whole gang was here, except for my brother because he lived far away. Still, Yeosang has made it his life's mission to be there for me whenever I gave him a hint that I needed him the most. I felt bad, but I had nobody to turn to.
"Y/N, wait."
I was about to leave, to ignore that call, but I couldn't. Yes?"
Hongjoong stared at me for a full minute without saying anything, before sighing. "Take care of yourself."
I forced a smile on my face. I was happy that everyone was looking out for me even though I just can't outwardly express it. I actually appreciate that none of them were treating me like a wounded puppy.
Hongjoong might not look like he cared too much, but I notice his sharp eyes watching me when he thinks I wasn't looking. Wooyoung was the opposite.
Yunho was very sweet, he would often bake me pastries since I mentioned in passing that I loved them and they brought me joy. Wooyoung used to do that a lot.
Mingi was another nonchalant one. He would often offer me a vacation alone somewhere with all expenses paid. I denied. Being alone will make me think of Wooyoung more.
San was the one that accompanied me the most when I didn't want to move at all. He would bring me food at least four times a week to make sure I was eating. Wooyoung used to feed me, himself, if I wasn't in the mood.
Jongho, being the mature one, made me realize that there were more reasons to live this life. Perhaps it was my parents, maybe my pet dog, or maybe just to find out what happens tomorrow. Wooyoung had a very similar outlook in life. 
I was aimlessly walking around and I didn't even notice that I ended up on the bench I sat on, the same bench that had that beautiful wisteria tree. Only this time, there was no Wooyoung to take a candid photo of me.
"I guess I'm not the only one falling apart," I sighed, lightly touching the wilting petals of the once purple tree, now it was just a faded whitish lilac colour.
It was difficult to find happiness in the things that I used to like. I missed the way he hugged me, the sound of his voice, the tenderness in his actions. I missed the way he would whisper the corniest jokes against my ear and make me laugh, but most of all, I missed the way we used to be.
He was my first thought of the day, the light at the end of my tunnel. How must I separate these fantasies from reality? Would things be different if I didn't confess? Would he still be here?
The reality was that he has not had these fantasies, we did not build our dream together, so I have to let it go.
Even though he had left after the momentarily love we shared for one night, I can tell myself that at least I knew that he genuinely loved me at one point. My mind will be at peace because I wouldn't have to go manic wondering for the rest of my life if it was only me - I know now that we did truly mean something to each other. 
We're so distracted by how things end, we usually forget how beautiful the beginning was. 
It was a quote I heard somewhere. My love was a myth, but Wooyoung never believed in myths, and so that was both the start and end of our story. Some things are only real if you believe that they are. 
A lone tear slipped away as I remembered how beautiful the wisteria was when we had first met. His absence will be the best part of me, I decided, so hopefully for the last time after a while, I weep again. 
I will wait for him, no matter how long it took.
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3.5 YEARS LATER
I sat in front of the vanity table in my hotel room, staring at myself from the big mirror wearing my white satin robe, it made my complexion pop into a champagne rose hue. 
I made eye contact with the person looming behind me through the mirror. "Would you like me to tell them to adjust the makeup and your hair?" he asked me tenderly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I figured you'd love a natural look so I made it happen."
"No, it's perfect, you always know what's best for me," I smiled widely, putting my hand on top of his gently. It was the truth, it managed to bring out me feminine side, and therefore, my self-confidence as well.
I was the happiest I've ever been today, especially because I was finally with the love of my life. He frowned a bit when I pulled him a bit closer to fix his slightly rumpled collar and hair.
"I like the blonde, my love," I ran my hand on it in a trickling motion so I wouldn't mess it up.
He smirks, grabbing my hand to kiss it. "Yeah? That's good, I was feeling tired of the red, plus I don't think it would be appropriate for today."
I chuckled a bit. I have always loved his style, it was so masculine but also so chic and sophisticated at the same time. He was already wearing the suit and tie I had chosen for him today.
I will miss the red hair though, I still remember feeling uneasy when I saw his red hair for the first time, but I have come to love it over time. This blonde was making me feel some type of way.
I took a glance at my wedding dress that was placed at the far corner of the room. The lace upon lace design was very cozy and snug against my curves and it made me feel like the most beautiful bride in the entire world.
"So what's the schedule, darling? Your photography session here alone or with your bridesmaids for now?" he glanced at his wristwatch.
"Alone for now," I hummed. "I want Joongie, Sannie, and Yeo in here right now. You should go check with Yuyu and Mangi if you need alterations, and oh, check with Jongbear if he's all set with the wedding songs later?"
Over the years, I have gotten so close with the gang and they've all become my bestest of friends. The journey wasn't easy, but at least I've gained seven other lifetime friends.
He chuckled, clicking his tongue in amusement. "Alright, but calm down," he plants a quick kiss on my lips. "As much as I love when you're in your thinking mode, I want you to relax for today."
"I can't help it, Seonghwa, I've never done this before," I pouted.
Seonghwa squeezed my hand lovingly. "I know, me neither, but I'll be with you through everything, okay? And don't worry about those three knuckleheads, they're on their way."
"I love you, Hwa."
"I love you more, darling."
As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and indeed, the three people I was expecting made their merry way towards me and Seonghwa. 
"Well, well, well," Yeosang strutted towards me. "If it isn't my favourite sister."
"I'm your only sister," I rolled my eyes, making everybody laugh. 
"Oh, Y/N, oh my goodness," Yeosang hugged me tightly. "Goddamn it, I shouldn't have gone here, you're going to make me cry."
"Shut up, Yeo, you're going to make me cry too," I choked, holding my tears back so I don't ruin my makeup. "I could barely hold myself when I saw Mom and Dad bawl their eyes out earlier."
It was like we were back in our childhood again where we supported each other whenever we got an achievement. We don't see each other much but our closeness never got less.
"I'm proud of you, you deserve this happiness," Yeosang smiled. "I'll see you out there, my back is hurting from Seonghwa glaring at my back for taking your time."
"I was not!"
"Some brother-in-law you are, Park Seonghwa!" Yeosang retorted.
We all laughed again, there's nothing better than having friends to celebrate your day with you. Yeosang left shortly and now I was with San and Hongjoong to check up on some things.
"The guests are coming in gradually," San lowered his glasses while he tapped away on his tablet. San was the one who arranged the beautiful venue of the outdoor garden where me and Seonghwa will marry as well as the food and invitations. 
San moved away from photography a couple of years ago and started a business on coordinating events. "I reckon they'll all be here within two hours," he continued, but paused hesitantly. "There might be one seat vacant, I'm not sure he'll come..."
The air was a bit tense. I knew who he was talking about. "It's okay, Sannie, we have back up photographers in case he doesn't want to do it..."
Hongjoong cleared his throat loudly. "Congratulations," he grinned from the other side of the room.
"Thanks, Joongie, you're the best," I grinned back, thanking him for more than what I was referring to.
Hongjoong was the one who designed my wedding dress from scratch, and Mingi designed Seonghwa's. It was their first wedding haute couture and definitely not their last.
"Any adjustments you want me to make? I would ask you to try it on, but that's bad luck. " he joked. I shook my head no. "Alright. But I'm sure you'll look good. We're very happy for you, Y/N, we really are."
It felt great to hear it in general, especially on my wedding day, but it meant a lot coming from Hongjoong. All of them were brothers to me, but he was the eldest one.
"Seonghwa, if you think of hurting her," San cracked his knuckles. "You know what will happen."
"Yeah, yeah, sure San, you're scared shitless of killing bugs, let alone beat me up," Seonghwa rolled his eyes, making us all laugh our heads off because it was so true.
Mingi, Yunho, and Jongho also popped in after a while to say their congratulations. Yunho was in charge of hosting the reception, which came naturally for him since he has such an engaging personality.
"I'm so nervous, what if I stutter?" Yunho groaned. "Though I'm sure Jongho here is more nervous."
"A little," Jongho admitted. We were all surprised, he usually does very well on literally everything.
"Jjong, you're literally the best singer I've ever heard," I cheered him on.
"It's not that, this is different. This is your wedding we're talking about."
"That's true and all," Mingi chided in. "But I'm pretty sure Seonghwa is the most nervous out of everybody. Y/N, you gotta tell his ass to calm down, I couldn't even properly adjust his suit, for God's sake!"
We all turned our heads when the sound of another knock resounded through the room. We all looked at each other in confusion, Yeosang was the only one not in here and he would never knock before entering.
Yunho took the initiative to open the door, although apprehensively. He opened the door in an angle where we couldn't see who was outside, but he did, and when he did, he gasped loudly.
"What the fuck!" he shut the door loudly and leaned against it, pale white.
The room was silent, Yunho wasn't the type to curse in general. We all looked at him with very wide eyes and he stared back with his mouth agape.
"Yun, what the hell was that?" Mingi broke the silence, as calm as the ocean.
"I-I, uhm, I-I don't th-think," he stuttered.
"Oh, what the hell," Jongho rolled his eyes, walking towards Yunho and pushing him out rather roughly so he could open the door himself.
Jongho muttered a curse under his breath, before closing the door a bit gently this time, but he also had the same shocked expression on his face. This time I was freaking out, wedding jitters and all.
"Yah!" someone on the other side shouted, banging on the door.
"Open the damn door!" Seonghwa seethed, but quickly muttered a 'sorry' when I glared at him.
Both Yunho and Jongho opened the double doors at the same time, and the person entered. My mind had a small explosion, my heart beating twice the speed it should have, and the hairs all over my body stood up in the collective gasps we all had when we saw him.
He was someone I never thought I'd ever see again, someone I dearly missed even though we ended on a sour note, someone I couldn't wait for anymore even though I told myself I would.
"Wooyoung," I whispered, a bit teary eyed.
"Wooyoung," Seonghwa confirmed, but I could see how nervous he became.
"Wooyoung?" Mingi asked in surprise.
"Wooyoung!" Hongjoong laughed in disbelief. "Wooyoung," San growled, gritting his teeth.
"Oh hello there, Wooyoung," Yeosang suddenly entered the room. I can tell he was upset, especially because he patted Wooyoung's back in a "friendly" manner.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Wooyoung screamed his signature loud screech, but it was too late.
His squawks get louder as everyone, except me and Seonghwa, swarmed him aggressively, like a mob that threatened to end his existence. There were laughter mixed with complaints but overall, everybody seemed happy.
"You crazy son of a bitch, you have us worried, you never even called or texted!"
"Wow, you're uglier than before---ow!"
"Don't ever think of leaving again!"
"Come here, you monkey!"
I felt Seonghwa tense from behind me. I patted his arm, causing him to look at me. I frowned a bit, his eyes held anxiety and inferiority. I understood, the man I used to love was here.
"Alright, alright! Get off me, you airheaded buffoons!" Wooyoung shouted, trying to push everyone off, but ended up laughing hysterically with Mingi and Jongho.
Hongjoong only shook his head and rolled his eyes but I can tell he was happy. San grabbed his collar harshly and for a moment, we thought he was angry, but he ended up pulling Wooyoung into a bone crushing hug and Yunho had to pull him away to give him a hug of his own.
Yunho had always carried the burden of guilt for the past year, he kept saying that he could have stopped Wooyoung back then. Yeosang ruffled Wooyoung's hair roughly, something he did when he's overwhelmed on how to express his feelings.
"Have you guys seen, uhm--oh," Wooyoung began, but faltered when his eyes met mine., his smile dropping in slow motion. He didn't know I'd be here.
The air became tense all of a sudden. A sudden heartache filled my mind with dread, flashbacks of what happened years ago reminding me of the bond we made only for it to break. But even though it hurt, I was genuinely happy he was here, so I put a smile on my face.
He was shocked, his eyes going back to the same twinkle he had back then, but it quickly disappeared when Seonghwa cleared his throat, then I saw it disappear permanently.
"We, uh, we should leave you guys to talk," Seonghwa murmured.
"A-Are you sure, Hwa?" I hesitated, holding onto his arm to stop him from moving. 
I wasn't the only one surprised when Seonghwa nodded lightheartedly. "Mhhm," he hummed. "Plus," he glanced at Wooyoung. "This is a long overdue conversation."
With that, everyone left the room, but not before Seonghwa shook Wooyoung's hand. My heart was filled with pride. "Nice to see you again, old friend," Seonghwa patted Wooyoung's shoulder gently. This is why I loved him, he trusted me wholeheartedly.
Seonghwa knew everything, from how Wooyoung met me, to how grateful I was for everything he's done for me, all the way to him leaving me. Seonghwa and Wooyoung and pretty much everyone used to be good friends but he had to move away when they were younger because of his parents' work. He cried for me, he cried for everything I've been through, and cried for how far I've become.
Wooyoung stood awkwardly from where he was after Seonghwa had left, and I didn't even know what to do either. I wasn't even sure if he was the same person he was before he left, three years was a long time. We were strangers to each other at this point because I definitely have changed.
"S-Sit, Wooyoung, please," I blurted, not looking him in the eye as I pointed at the sofa across from where I was.
I stared at him as he awkwardly did as he was told. The years have been bittersweet to him - he had become unbelievably handsome, but his eyes had lost that youth and spark to it. 
He had more muscle to him, and his face had matured into this angular and chiseled appearance - his brows were more prominent, his cheekbones higher, and his jaws stronger. His hair was longer too, instead of the bright red I knew him for, he had this black and blonde layered on top of each other like an Oreo cookie.
"How are you doing, Y/N?" he softly asked. Even his voice got deeper, more booming, but it was still as calming as I remembered it to be.
"I'm good, I feel really happy," I genuinely replied. "I'm glad you're able to come despite your schedule."
"Of course," he sighed. "I'm surprised you still invited me."
"Why wouldn't I?" I whispered, all the hurt threatening to spill out from me. "B-But how have you been? Did you get what you wanted?"
I knew the answer to that question. Of course he did, Wooyoung was now a well-known photographer who was in-demand all over South Korea. He was basically a celebrity, but I still wanted to hear it come from his mouth.
Wooyoung smiled tightly. "Yes and no," he said cryptically.
"W-Why?"
Wooyoung stared at me for a minute, his eyes not giving away what he was feeling. My heart almost burst out of my ribcage. He tried so hard, but he was fiddling with his pants, a sign he was nervous.
We might be two different people now, but I still knew him like the back of my hand. 
"So," he cleared his throat, finally looking away. "Seonghwa, huh?"
I hummed, letting him get away with the fact that he was changing the topic. "Yeah, we just clicked," I smiled shyly. "A couple of months after you left, Joong introduced us together..."
He nodded, choosing not to reply. It got awkward again after that, the silence filling the room in an uncomfortable manner. He was only a couple of feet away from me, but he felt like miles back. My heart cracked a little, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
"I-I'm happy for you, Y/N, I really am," his voice cracked towards the end. "Congratulations on y-your...wedding."
I swallowed a huge lump on my throat when I saw Wooyoung look down, his hands on either side of his head, cradling it as I heard him sniffle. It felt like thunder to my ears, but I chose not to comment on it so as to not embarrass him.
"It was nice the first year, I felt like I was on top of the world with nothing tying or holding me back," he laughed bitterly. "But afterwards, I felt like shit. I had no family, no friends, no you. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life."
I stayed silent, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I would cry too. "I'm afraid now, little dove, I'm so afraid of doing things now because that one, single mistake cost me my whole life..."
I bit my lip hard, my heart breaking a little bit more for him. Oh, how the tables have turned, I used to be the one that always got scared of trying something, and it took me a while to fully commit to Seonghwa.
"I am so, so sorry, Y/N..."
I let Wooyoung pour his heart out, letting him sob silently on the sofa. I gripped my robe tightly, wanting to go to him like the old times, but I couldn't, not because I didn't want to, but because Wooyoung needed his moment. He wasn't only crying for the both of us, but for the suffering, the loneliness of being alone, and everything he went through to get the success he longed to have.
"I'm proud of you, Wooyoung, you did well. You did what you had to do back then, I can't fault you for that," I told him. "Yes, I was mad at you, I'm not going to deny that, but I forgave you a long time ago."
I finally let out all the things I've always wanted to tell him. "One day you were just gone, you couldn't even explain why. We were best friends, soulmates, or so I thought."
"What killed me the most was I felt like our journey together had just begun, and you had left too soon," my breath hitched. "You came, then you left, and you took parts of me I didn't know existed, as well as yours because I never had the chance to explore you."
He stayed silent, listening to me like he once did years ago. "To this day I still ask myself what happened, Wooyoung, what would life have been if you had stayed? What would it be like if we did things differently? For the longest time, I blamed you for leaving, and then myself for letting you go so willingly."
Wooyoung shook his head. "It's not your fault," he gulped. "I blamed myself for your cries that I pretended not to hear, for the anger that consumed me, I blame myself for not holding your hand tighter, for the tears I did not wipe away, and I blame myself for the loss of you."
He stares at me with his tear-stained eyes, not bothering to cover all the emotions he tried to hide earlier. He grinned bitterly at me, I knew how much it meant for anyone to tell him how proud they were of him.
He puts his palm over his chest, eyes closed. "If only you can feel how hard this heart beats for you," he whispered. "It's all for you, but would you be mad if I told you it's not as strong as it once was?"
I wanted to hold his hand once more like we used to do when we were still together, not as lovers, but as good friends, but I was frozen on my chair.
"Why would I be?" I tilted my head curiously, tutting at him lightheartedly to lift the mood in the room. "You underestimate me."
Finally, he smiled genuinely. "I can't help it," he chuckled. "The intensity is less, I can't repair all the hurt I gave you."
He paused, hesitating if he should say what he wanted to say, but he opened his mouth anyway. "You were my dream after all," he whispered begrudgingly. "I was blind not to see it."
That did it. The dread and burden I've been feeling was finally lifted off of me and I finally feel lighter than a feather.
The wounds he gave me were still there and they will heal slowly, but I can't deny my own heart right at this moment.
"Woo?" I smiled tightly. He looked at me expectantly, and it made my insides mushy. "My heart that beated for you will never stop either, so don't beat yourself up. I can never get rid of it."
He stared at me like I held the stars from the sky and offered it to him. In hindsight, I might as well have done it. He scoffed lightly. The insinuation was there, but that's all there is - that I still held him in my heart but it stops here.
"Don't be afraid to try new things, weren't you the one who always told me that? You miss the shots you don't take. If you don't want to make the same mistakes as you did with me, grab them while they're still there," I shrugged.
It was like nothing happened, as if we weren't separated for so long because of our circumstances. We finally caught up, laughed, giggled, gossiped like we used to before things got bad between us. I missed him so much, the way he would laugh like a dying fox, the way his eyes crinkled up, all of it.
We talked, we cried, the whole nine yards. The missing piece I didn't know was missing until now finally completed me. How have I lived that long without him?
"You got your wish now," Wooyoung jokes. "You finally have Mars once you marry Seonghwa."
Ah yes, Seonghwa helped me all throughout my journey. If it wasn't for him, I would have been a goner.
I scoffed, the nostalgia hitting me like a ton of bricks. "I can't believe you still remember that," I laughed. "I do have Hwa now, yes, but the planetarium will always be my first Mars."
Wooyoung smirked playfully. "It had better be. I hated it."
"What?" I threw a pillow at him jokingly. "Why did you take me then?"
"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he snickered.
He was about to throw a pillow at me too, but when he saw my solemn expression, he stopped. 
This time the nostalgia hit us both. That was exactly what he said when I asked if I had to pay for the very first photo he took of me.
Instead of being sad, one look at each other and we burst out laughing, giggling, and guffawing like hyenas in the wild, not caring if anybody heard us and thought we were crazy.
"Y/N?" Wooyoung uttered endearingly. I hummed in response. "Can I hold your hand for the last time?"
I held my hands for him, and he grabbed it so gently I wanted to cry. They were warm, and he held on yet simultaneously set me free.
He brought my hands to his chest, looking like he wanted to kiss them, but he held back out of respect for Seonghwa. Instead of his lips, tears fell onto them.
"If there is another life," he whispered. "I hope I can meet you again and if not, I will find you until I cease to breathe."
His heartbeat was so steady, and I felt my body shake, and once more, my eyes filled with unshed tears and I cried for the both of us this time. He releases one of my hands and wipes my tears delicately.
"Please don't cry, not for me again," he croaked, trying his very best to stop his own tears. "I don't want you to ruin your makeup."
"It's okay, Seonghwa and his team did my makeup anyway," I sniffled. "I hope in the next life you're not going to hate that you need me."
"Never," he objected. "Even if we don't remember, my heart will know."
I swatted his arm playfully. I never meant to giggle a little at that, he had always been so poetic and so cheesy. I guess some things never change.
"Stay for the wedding and reception, please?" I fretted. "I want my best friend there. Mingi tailored a suit for you in case you came."
I was nervous, afraid that he would reject my plea because he might feel out of place. I sighed a breath of relief when I saw him beam.
"I'll be there," Wooyoung mused. "I owe you this at least, Y/N, and I am going to give you and Seonghwa the best photos you both will ever see."
I cheered internally, but my excitement tipped over the top and I couldn't help but outwardly show it. Wooyoung laughed and we finally pulled ourselves in a hug to seal the deal. It was enough to make up for all the years we spent apart because one touch entwined our souls.
I realized that the electric spark that once tickled my skin whenever Wooyoung touched me was still there, and it was as strong as I knew it to be, but they no longer burned.
More tears made their way on Wooyoung's shirt when I recognized that I had healed a long time ago. I had mourned my loss and woke up anew, and the passing time did wonders too.
"Did you feel that?" Wooyoung mumbled, and I knew he referred to that spark.
"Yes," I squeaked. "Yes, I did. But why did you lie?"
Wooyoung paused from rubbing soothing circles on my back. "What do you mean?"
"I can feel your heart. The intensity never lessened, Wooyoung, you lied."
He pulled away from me, his lips pursed as he held my face with his hands. "I have to," he admitted. "I can't ruin the happiness you have found for yourself."
There were no words that needed to be spoken. We had finally found the closure we both needed.
The rest of Ateez entered the room one by one and gave both of us a knowing look. Wooyoung and I both grinned at them and gave them a thumbs up, to which they cheered loudly.
"You good, darling?" Seonghwa kissed my forehead as the others whisked Wooyoung away with teasing tones so he could change his outfit.
"Thank you, Hwa, thank you so much," I gushed, melting at his solemn embrace.
Seonghwa had always been there for me, he was so loving and patient towards me, and most of all, Seonghwa had chosen me, and I chose him.
He had his work too, he was a makeup artist, and that required traveling a lot, but instead of leaving me like Wooyoung did, Seonghwa did everything in his power to take me with him so we could be together. He didn't give up on the love we shared.
Wooyoung and I still loved each other dearly, but we had chosen our paths a long, long time ago - he chose to leave, and I chose to move on with my life. Seonghwa had made me realize that if you really loved somebody, nothing will stop you. 
I kissed my future husband tenderly on the lips, to which he returned with urgency. The love I felt for him was different from the love I had for Wooyoung, but it burned just as brighter, if not stronger.
It was the true love I had longed to have.
Seonghwa and I finally tied the knot. Our wedding was a celebration of our love and those who came to celebrate it with us. It was simple, pure and all I ever wanted.
"I, Park Seonghwa, promise to love you, L/N Y/N, and cherish you until my last breath, and even then, you have to make sure I'm dead because I will always come back to you," he vowed, making a couple of people laugh. "You came in at the right time of my life, and I promise that for as long as I am here, I will make you the happiest woman on Earth. I love you so, so much, my darling."
I couldn't even get the words out, tearing up profusely especially with how Seonghwa looked at me with such love. At this point I wasn't the only one sniffling.
"I, L/N Y/N, promise to love you, Park Seonghwa, and cherish you until--- wait, if you go, then I'll be lonely, so please don't go," I giggled along with our friends and family. "You are the reason I'm alive, and I cannot believe I am marrying the love of my life. I will be yours as you want me to, Hwa."
The moment the priest announced that Seonghwa can kiss the bride, everybody whooped and cheered loudly and I couldn't help but laugh in between my now husband's kiss. I could've sworn I saw Hongjoong shed a tear or two but San was too busy teasing the elder by cooing at him mockingly.
Yeosang almost protested when Seonghwa's kiss lasted a little too long, but Wooyoung had quickly covered his mouth and pulled him away while he flailed his arms comically.
The wedding reception was a beautiful garden party that oversaw the lake. We were all surrounded by the fragrant petals that amplified the romantic sunset that gave the sky a pretty tinge of pink and purple.
Yunho was a wonderful host despite the initial nervousness he held and there was never a dull moment, especially when Mingi had caught the flower bouquet I had thrown over my shoulder. The gentle giant's reddened face was definitely the highlight of the night.
Jongho's voice filled the entire reception, to which me and Seonghwa encouraged everybody to dance to the rhythm whether Jongho sang a passionate song for us or an upbeat jazzy tune that made all of us dance the night away. Of course in between, me and my now husband would kiss and everyone would hoot.
Just as our wedding and love were elegant and sweet, so was our wedding cake. Everybody dwindled down to eat and drink to their heart's content. My feet were killing me anyway so I chose to sit down at my spot at the front with Seonghwa.
"You really went all out with this, huh?" I teased him.
He laughed, his deep sending delicious shivers up my spine. "Heck yeah," he snorted. "This is a once in a lifetime thing, baby."
As we watched everyone enjoy the night with their friends and family, I saw Wooyoung bowing to this old man, a friend of my father's, with a huge smile on his face after giving him his calling card.
I was happy for him, it looks like he finally followed his heart and scored another deal after being scared of doing another one. I watched him take his phone out and call somebody giddily, and when he dropped the call, I laughed as I saw him punch the air in excitement.
It was as if he knew someone was watching him. Wooyoung looked back and we made eye contact for the last time as old lovers. There were no words between us, but a million things in our eyes as we finally let go of all the hurt.
He smiled at me, nodding once, and I did the same, smiling back at him softly, before he turned around and left the venue.
And just like that, he was gone.
202 notes · View notes
factual-fantasy · 27 days ago
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27 asks! Thanks yall!! :}} 📐
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@milk-powrit (Referencing this post)
..Because I don't like Zooble. 😐
Zooble up to this point just hasn't been a pleasant character most of the time for me- She swears like a sailor, is always flipping people off and being rude left and right. Not my kind of character. 💀
Now you might say "Zooble clearly has some issues going on deep down that makes her act that way" or "Zooble is mean to Caine because she doesn't like her body" In this case, I point you to what I said on that post-
"while I know many characters are likely to turn out evil or turn out to be really sweet, I'm taking them all at their current face value. Hope this helps some of my maybe.. surprising? Tiers make some more sense" This was directed at Zooble and Jax. They've probably got some lore that will make me sympathize with them but currently I just don't like it when those two characters are on screen :|
I will say though that Zooble was saved from being moved even lower in the tiers for the tenderness she showed in setting up Kaufmo's funeral.. <XD
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@eggnonymous
Little does the egg know I have a frying pan behind my back.... just in case.. 👁️👁️
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@i-dogtor-dog
Feeling pretty rough <:( but doing my best.. <:) 👍 Also thank you! :)))
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(Link in ask)
Woah.. the designs for this AU(?) are wild :00
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@thangone
Woah! Your artwork is looking great! :DD And what a cute littol fwoggy :)))
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His voice gets on my nerves if I listen to it for too long- but otherwise he's really funny and I like him as a character :)) I will be really sad if/when he turns out to be an evil master mind/the villain or something :(
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They belong in Minecraft.
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@neo-metalscottic (Kinger love post)
Hello! :DD I'm glad to hear you liked my Kinger post! Its nice to see him get so much love after the new episode :)) the poor guy deserves it.. <:(
Now Funky Kong, he is in my AU :00 and I intend to incorporate most other Kongs as well! Maybe I can tie in his "traveling salesman" type vibe and make him a brave/reckless Kong that likes to explore new areas on their island..? :00
As for Kirby, the Anime has a special place in my heart. And I also know barely anything about the games lore- The characters also seem to have a lot more personality in the Anime. For better or for worse <XDD
My favorite from the anime is definitely Metaknight. His only downside is he doesn't appear to have wings. <:/ (I remedy this in my AU >:) )
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@stupid-thatsme
If I read this correctly, it seems like you wanted some written out explanation or something? If so I'm afraid I cant help you there- I don't consider myself to be very good at explaining art things-
The best I could do is draw some examples and try to explain the drawings. But since you said you already know all the lines and stuff.. well.. :x
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@weirdweeb83
Now THIS.. Is some proper Halloween candy 🤩
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@holly-opal
Not anymore! :)
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@p0wer-up21
One of the scariest creatures on Earth <XDDD
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@mrrebel7
AAA THANK YOU!! :DDD AND THAT'S AWESOME TO HEAR!! :))) I hope your project goes smoothly! :))))
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XDD I can pronounce that just fine!
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OH YEAH ITS YOU! :00
Also yeahh,, things have been really tough for me.. I'm doing my best to keep my head up and get through it. I'm hoping to get some relief from my symptoms soon. <:/ Thank you <:))
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That's not a fun fact, that's a sad fact :( I'd rather people never find me then find me through waves of stolen artwork..
But none the less, thank you. I'm glad to hear you like my art! :))
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@marionette-jester
I don't know if this is an insult or a cursed compliment XD But I choose to give you the benefit of the doubt and think the latter! So thank you! :)
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@the-8th-of-w1zards
AAAA THANK YOU!! :DDD Also I've been drawing far too long to remember my original inspiration.. but my guess is playing sonic games and wanting to draw Tails..? XDD Maybe Pokémon too..?
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Meh 🤷 not particularly interested in those guys
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Thank you! :))
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Idk how long I'll play, but so far I've been enjoying it! My favorite cookie based on appearance is Star Coral cookie. Story/personality wise its a tie between Pure Vanilla and White Lily-
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O_O oh dear-
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@inkyblots
All I have to say is use references and do you very best to keep the drawing in model <:/
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:DD Thank you! :)
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Oh yeah, I've seen some of those around 😅 They're not really my taste anymore-
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@captain-skyler1987
Uhg, that's always disheartening to see. Thanks for letting me know.. <:/
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@hershelwidget
I cant share most of the books I read for a few reasons- but the book you're talking about sounds so good!.. And so sad.. <:'(( I'll have to keep it in mind! :)
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shaunamilfman · 8 months ago
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can u write jealous Jackie hcs? if u do, thanks in advance:)
you're welcome brooo. love jackie requests for sure don't even worry about it man
Jealous Jackie HC's
girl watches you like a fucking hawk whenever someone's talking to you. even if she's actively talking to someone else you'll catch her keeping an eye on the situation the whole time
walks up to you afterwards all like “so what were we talking about?? 😁😁” with a dangerous glint in her eyes. Jackie Taylor can be terrifying when she puts her mind to it. god forbid someone makes a serious move on you. she might even sic Shauna on them
Jackie will know someone's entire life story if she's jealous of them. walk into the living room to see her on her laptop looking at the layout of their house on a realtor website. be glad you left before she built it on the sims and set it in fire. it was… disturbing. 
she sips at her drink to distract herself and ends up getting fucking wasted every time. accidentally throws up on your shoes and still asks if you think she's pretty afterward
Jackie gets more insecure when she sees you talking to a man (even if you're obviously not interested in them), but gets extremely jealous when she sees you talking to a woman. lives for running those girls off. walks over to talk to them and is like “hey I heard a rumor that…” until they get so uncomfortable they leave
Jackie gives shauna a play-by-play of every single event in such excruciating detail that Shauna's tapping her head against the wall hoping she somehow knocks herself out. Shauna pleads with you to never talk to anyone ever again so she doesn't have to hear about it again. 
1996 Jackie taking notes from one of those teen magazine articles like “10 ways to keep your man from straying” like it's her fucking job (someone breathed in your direction). absolutely does not work for her. you ask her why she's been so fucking weird all week and she looks frustrated that you didn't fall even deeper in love with her like the article promised you would. somehow it's your fault, she knows it. 
Jackie tries taping their face on a dart board because she's seen it in movies but can't get a single dart to land on the board and ends up madder than she started. 
self-indulgent but thinking about Jackie knowing you're nearsighted and drunk Jackie stealing your glasses because “why would you need to see other girls further away?? 🙄🙄” 
Jackie Taylor is a master of pretending to drunkenly pour her drink on whoever she's jealous about. all wide-eyed apologies and slurring her words as she looks so genuinely sorry that you even start to believe her it it wasn't for that smug look that crossed her face as they walk off to change
she's all fucking over you. climbing into your lap, arms wrapped around your shoulders, faced buried in your neck, whispering little things in your ear. imagine how close you think two people could get. not close enough. Jackie's got that beat. 
doesn't like feeling jealous so she'll flirt with other people to get your attention because she wants you to be the jealous one instead. except she always makes the worst fucking choices. it's always like Shauna (which 🤷 is hot. let's be real. you're into it.) or someone she's visibly not interested in or someone visibly not interested in her. she just sees red and can't think straight I'm afraid
Jackie conspicuously reading a newspaper she doesn't realize is upside down with those mustache glasses in the corner of the restaurant while you're getting dinner with an old friend to catch up
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dreamauri · 1 year ago
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♪ — 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘 𝗕𝗨𝗢𝗬 lando norris x fem! lifegaurd! reader (fluff) “. . . you have to watch a drivers mess around, get hurt, then let him make it up to you.”
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( my master list | more of lando norris ) ( requests | taglist )
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They rented out the hotel's pool, and like idiots on fifty cups of coffee were swimming around trying to hit each other with pool noodles and swimming boards. You could only walk around the pool bored out of your mind watching the boys, it was already so late into the night and you were tired.
You've recognized them long ago, being the athletes your brothers watch race cars every other weekend. What they were doing in Canada? You didn't know. Why were they messing around in your pool? You did not know. You couldn't care less. You just watched and made sure they didn't drown each other.
"Oh shit. Ok ok, stop." One was quick to surrender, his pool noodle being stolen. "My legs cramping!" He complained trying to tread and keep his head above water. Here we go, you sighed throwing your rescue tube in his direction which he quickly grabbed on.
Once you slipped in, you swam calmly towards him. "Don't grab me." You warned moving behind him and putting your hands under his armpits carrying him back. The other boys laughed as they watched, whistling and cheering for him. Lando could only blush with an extremely nervous smile.
He was whispering to the other drivers about how cute you were before and now that he was this close to you he felt his brain short circuit. Once you reached the edge, you held him there hopping out before pulling him out.
Holly hell you were strong. Carlos and Charles swam near him wiggling their eyebrows suggesting-ly at him. The British boy could only flip them off, prompting a loud laugh coming from Max in the background. Pulling the boy away from the edge of the pool you sat beside him with one leg behind his back.
"It's just the cramp?" You asked. Boy was swooning in his head over your voice. You were attractive and beautiful- "You okay?" You broke him out of his thoughts frowning. "Y—yeah I—i just—" He stutterd over his words making your frown deepen. "Did you hit your head?"
"No!" He cleared his throat. "Sorry. No, I'm fine. It's just the leg cramp, yes." You nodded hesitantly, turning your head back to the pool to watch the other boys. Charles and Carlos were quick to pretend you weren't watching with Max and Daniel chasing each other.
"You'll be able to compete on Sunday with that, yeah?" You asked not looking at him. "Sorry?" "You are the race car drivers, no? My brothers watch your races." You explained. "Y—yeah I'll be fine." "Why are you stuttering so much? Are you cold?" You sighed looking at the time.
"Yes." he lied through his teeth. He couldn't take his eyes of you, not for a second as you got up and got him a towel, wrapping it around him before sitting back down with your leg supporting his back. "Thank you for not letting me drown. I owe you one" He broke the silence after a few moments making you shrug. "It's my job."
"I still owe you one. I insist." He tried again making you turn to look at him quietly. "If you insist."
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
"You like it?" Lando asked as walked under an umbrella with you through the pitlane showing you the track. "It's pretty." You nodded rubbing your hands in your kangaroo pockets to try and stimulate some warmth.
"So what are you doing today?" You asked not really sure how the sport works. "It's qualifying today, we set our fastest times one laps. The faster you are, the higher up on the grid you start tomorrow, the actual race." You hummed in understandment nodding. "Makes sense yeah."
Lando was glad you hadn't noticed his lingering eyes on you, 'cause he practically hasn't looked away since you stepped under his umbrella with him. The only thing that bothered him was the colours you were wearing.
"Why don't we go back to the motor home and I'll get you McLaren merch." "Sure." And sure enough, you wore the orange themed shirt with the number four on your back. "You look way better in orange." He swooned smiling brightly.
"You hungry?" Once again, you were in the cafeteria eating a fruit salad you managed to get your hands on. "Oh, look at that." Pausing with your eating you looked out the window to find out what the boy was gesturing to only to find nothing. Felling a hand take yours, you looked back to see Lando lifting your hand up quickly to his mouth eating the strawberry off your fork with a smile.
"Hey!" You pulled back your fork once you realized what just happened. The boy only giggled at you in victory. In an act of revence you took a blueberry from his bowl eating it with a 'hmph'.
"Where's the umbrella?" You asked once you were ready to return to the garage for quali. "There is no umbrella!" Lando shoute taking your hand and dragging you through the heavy rain. You quickly ran, trying to match his pace with your already soaked shoes and now wet clothes as well.
"You're crazy." You nudged his chest once you finally arrived in the safety of the garage. 'crazy in love with you.' he though to himself smiling brightly. He's never smiled so much in a day, his team knew so. Mans was crushing hard.
"Here." He offered you his spare shirt which he had worn under his race suit. You gently took the spare looking in his eyes, a soft smile covering your face once you touched the soft fabric. "Thank you lando." "I'll see you at Parc Ferme yeah?" "Yeah." You nodded smiling.
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★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
"Pretty cool, right?" Lando walked along side you, sneaking out of the track through some sort of back door to his car. "What's your address, I'll drop you off home." "Eh, don't worry about that, I cant take the bus from the hotel." "In this weather? No way." He looked at you, not giving you a choice. You only sighed as you typed the destination in the GPS.
That was only the start of a very fun car ride, pumped with music and screaming lyrics. You didn't want to get out when you finally arrived, but lando placed the paddock pass in your hand kissing your cheek. "I'll pick you up tomorrow."
"Really? And What do I get in return? Supporting you through your race weekend." "A kiss?" "Tell you what, you get podium tomorrow and I'll give you a kiss."
landonorris
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liked by pieregasly carlossainz55 and 10M others landonorris winner winner chicken dinner
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647 notes · View notes
Note
Can you please write some jealousy hcs for sf6 Luke, Ed, Jamie and Bosch? If you want to do different characters that's ok or if they are too many you can just do some. Thank you !!!
fun fact: this was originally supposed to be released 2 days ago but guess who accidentally deleted half of it. :| soo it had to be rewritten again. so sad. also I think you can tell who i like based on the length of the hcs, oops
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Luke
For the most part, Luke's a pretty chill guy so things don't bother him as much as they used to when he was younger.
He's glad to see you expand your horizons and meet new people along the way, especially finding new masters to train under.
He wants to see how far you've come from the last time he saw you, so he asks for a quick sparring match.
And you'd exceeded his expectations!
He's happy to see you develop your own style and dominate the streets.
"Woah, you've really stepped up your game," he said, genuinely impressed.
One thing though...why do you fight like a certain drunken boxer he knows?
Oh, You're learning under Jamie? Cool. Cool.
He's smiling but you can feel the tension behind it.
Luke is definitely the type of jealous that tries to play it off in a joking manner.
"Let's just say, I've had a couple of run-ins with the guy." he forced a chuckle. "He's...something else."
"Sounds like there's more to the story."
"Maybe there is, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that you're growing into an incredible fighter, and I'm proud of you for that." He pulled you in to press a kiss on your temple.
"Thanks, Luke. That means a lot coming from you."
"Anytime," he said, reaching out to ruffle your hair playfully. "And hey, if Jamie gives you any trouble, you let me know, okay?"
"Of course." you laughed, swatting his hands away.
"Come on, let's grab something to eat. I'm starving, and I bet you could use a bite after all that."
"Sweet! But you're buying."
You're your own person and you get to decide who you want to train under, but it still nags at him from somewhere deep within.
It may sound selfish of him, but he would rather you come to him for your concerns than anyone else. In part as your Coach and boyfriend.
So when other people try to make moves on you, he's internally sizing them up as he gives them a once-over.
So even though he has a smile on his face, it never reaches his eyes.
But he won't bring it up this time since you held Jamie in such a high regard.
And he's not going to hold your hand for every decision you make, but he trusts you enough not to do anything behind his back.
He hates to admit it, but it does tick Luke off knowing that Jamie would rub it in his face in their next encounter, it's almost inevitable.
So he would have a couple of not-so-nice words for the guy the next time he sees him on the street.
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Ed
Ed watched you near the gym entrance as he leaned against the heavy sliding doors. 
You were running late to your nightly meet-ups and you weren't responding to any of his messages leading up to now. 
He wouldn't have cared if something came up and you had to cancel your date with him, but you mentioned how excited you were about seeing him today that he didn't think you would've just dipped the last second. 
So he went on a whim and decided to pay the gym down the street a visit. 
And surprise, surprise, here you were. 
You were chatting with, what he could assume was your coach, in the middle of the room. 
Ed's eyes flickered at the way Luke lightly squeezed your shoulder with a certain fondness in his eyes.
Bastard. 
He didn't know if you were oblivious or dumb for not noticing, so he made himself known by stepping on the mats in your direction. 
His presence immediately drew your attention and your eyes lit up when you saw him approaching, stepping back from Luke you said, "Ed! What are you doing here?"
"You're late. We had plans, remember?"
"Oh, crap, I'm so sorry! I lost track of time and…" You sputtered an apology and some excuses that fell deaf on his ears but his attention was more focused on your chummy coach.
Ed's glare could paralyze most people with fear, but Luke observed the exchange with a curious expression.
Realizing you may be having a one-sided conversation you introduced the pair to each other.
Luke extended a hand with a friendly smile. "The name's Luke, I'm one of the coaches here at Buckler's.
"Yeah, I've heard about you." He said, not acknowledging Luke's hand, which made the former pull back.
"Ed's been teaching me a little bit of boxing on the side." You chimed in, wrapping your arms around him. 
Actually, it was a bit odd that he didn't immediately try to shake you off. But that meant his mind was somewhere else.
"You've taught them well, They're lucky to have you as a teacher." Luke replied, addressing Ed again.
"Right…" 
He shrugged the arm you were hanging onto. "You ready to head out?"
"Yeah, just let me grab my stuff real quick then we could go," you said, giving him a small peck on his cheek before heading toward the locker room, leaving the pair alone.
"Look I don't know what you're trying to play at and frankly I don't care, but it ends now." 
"Hey, man, I'm not trying to play at anything. I'm just their coach. We keep things professional here." Luke raised his hands in a placating gesture.
"Yeah? Well, you seem pretty damn friendly for just a coach." Ed scoffed, not buying it.
Luke sighed, dropping his hands. "I get it. You're protective of them, and that's fine. But you need to trust that I'm not crossing any lines."
"Trust ain't something I give out easily. And right now, nothing's telling me you deserve even a lick of it."
"Fair enough," Luke said, crossing his arms. "But you should know that Y/n's here because they want to get stronger. And I'm not going to stop coaching them because you're feeling insecure."
"Insecure? Now you're just spouting crap." Ed narrowed his eyes.
"I don't think so." Luke hummed.
You quickly reappeared from the locker room with a bag slung over your shoulder. 
"Ready!" You said cheerfully, grabbing Ed's hand. "Alright, I'll see you later, Coach!" You called over your shoulder as you dragged the boxer towards the exit.
"Take care. And keep on practicing your footwork," he gave you a small wave. 
"Oh, and Ed," Luke said with a slight edge to his tone, making Ed turn to face him, "Take your shoes off the next time you step on my mats, won't you?"
Ed scoffed, with a smirk tugging on his lips. At least, he ain't no pushover.
You glanced between the two, sensing the underlying tension but not quite catching the full meaning of Luke's remark.
"What was that about?"
"Nothing, Just gym etiquette."
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Jamie
With Jamie, he doesn't get jealous as easily as other people on this list. But he definitely has his gripes from time to time.
Woah, Pulling punches during a dance battle? Didn't see that one coming.
You told him you've been learning boxing from a guy who's been hanging around the beat square subway station, at least three times a week.
He was wondering what you've been up to.
Wait, did you say three times a week? That's more than you see him.
What's up with that?
He didn't mind you picking up new skills, especially with something as badass as boxing, but he missed your late-night talks.
And now, it was basically cut in half thanks to this Ed guy.
So he thinks it's time to give him a little visit from the infamous Jamie Siu, himself.
"Ah, now I get it." Jamie playfully circled him. "You got the whole bad boy get up and everything, huh?"
Ed looked up from his phone with an unreadable expression, "You gotta problem wit' me or something?" 
"Not at all buddy. I'm just trying to see who Mooncake's been hanging out with."
You sighed, telling him that Ed is just your Boxing coach and he's teaching you how to wield Psycho Power.
Nothing more, nothing less.
After adverting the crisis that was about to break out at the station, you would give Ed a quick apology before leaving with Jamie. 
Ed shrugged, saying 'whatever' and went back to his phone. 
You would have to confront him about his attitude later on.
Even if he felt jealous of where your focus was, you're still learning how to street fight. And he has no right to interfere with your training with your other Coaches. 
He shrugged at your concerns before asking if you wanted to try this new concoction he put together, offering the lip of his gourd to you. 
"Jamie, I'm being serious." You pushed the bottle back to him. 
"So am I."
You hardly picked up the way his eyes bore into your soul before he broke into a grin, taking a swig of his drink.  "Nothing like a good drink to ease the nerves."
When you tell him you're still upset with him about today, he'll lean up against the rails and cross his arms. 
Most of his jealousy stems from the fact that you're spending more time with other people than him. And he feels a tad bit neglected.
He's used to being isolated so the feeling isn't new to him. But he found himself staring at the space beside him where he expected to find your presence.
The times when you don't visit him, his mind wanders to the silly little adventures you'd tell him about and the places you get to see around the world.
But you have a track record of being gone for long periods of time and he just waits here, until you came back.
It's not your fault. He was just being a hard-ass, so he would be the one to apologize. 
"Look, I know you're still starting out and learning new stuff, which is cool n' all but I miss our nights together. And if it's that important to you, I'll back off. Just make sure to stop by from time to-time. 'Kay?"
"I will…And thanks, Jamie. I really appreciate it."
After a beat of silence, you gestured to the gourd resting beside you two. "Now, about that concoction of yours."
Jamie broke out in a grin, handing it to you. "Prepare to be amazed. The new and improved recipe is made from the ingredients you brought from Tian Hong Yuan. It's got a kick to it, just like you."
You both would've retired for the night in a drunken stupor, entangled in each other's arms.
He snuggled his face in the crook of your neck with a dumb smile, mumbling how much he loved you.
But next time you visit Ed, Jamie gives you a couple of 'souvenirs' to show off to your friend to show who you belong to. 
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Bosch
You know, when you decided to stroll through town, Bosch didn't expect you to pick up another Master.
If anything, he guessed it was your eagerness that made people naturally gravitate to you.
He could tell how much you admired Rashid's wind abilities and charming personality, but it still irked him more than he cared to admit.
You would spend the majority of your days training and chatting with Rashid, eventually kicking Bosch to the curb.
He knew it was nothing more than a student-teacher relationship, especially since Rashid's wind techniques were something you wanted to master.
And the thing is, Rashid isn't even a bad guy.
He's just very charismatic, in a way that can be overbearing at times.
But he still couldn't shake the pangs of jealousy that gnawed at his soul.
With every new move that clicked, you would glance at Bosch to see if he noticed.
He's at least a little glad you still sought him out, despite your attention being elsewhere.
Maybe that's why he let it go on for so long.
He'll sit on his emotions and let the feeling bubble in his stomach before he would ever confront you about it. 
He probably even lets out a few snippy remarks if you keep pushing him away.
He doesn't mean it.
He never does, but Bosch has never been in a relationship before, so he doesn't know what to do whenever he felt the burning sensation of jealousy below the surface of his skin.
Bosch sat by the window sill and let the cool midnight breeze brush against his face.
He should've been relaxing, but his mind was anything but calm.
He heard the soft creak of the floorboards as he turned to see you approaching. 
You sat next to him by the window, offering some food you got from the markets. 
Your presence instantly eased his nerves as you both sat in the dark, listening to the distant sounds of the city.
Sensing Bosch's off demeanor, you asked what was on his mind.
"I'm just thinking." He said, sipping his drink.
"About what?"
"You." His eyes met yours, "…and Rashid."
You blinked in surprise. "Rashid? What about him?"
"It's just…you've been spending so much time with him. I get that he's your new master and he's teaching you a lot, but it feels like there's no time for us anymore."
"I didn't know you felt that way, but I'm sorry for not noticing sooner." You said aimlessly playing with his hands before tangling them together.
Bosch sighed, looking down at your intertwined hands. "You don't owe me an apology. I know I'm being hard-headed. I just…I wish I could open up to you more."
"You can always talk to me about anything, Bosch. And you don't need to force yourself to do so for my sake."
He looked up, meeting your eyes again. "I know. It's just hard sometimes. And seeing you with Rashid, makes me feel..."
"Jealous?"
"It's stupid, I know."
"I don't think it's stupid, it's a very human emotion. But I want you to know that no matter what, I'll always want to be here with you."
He hummed, still not taking your words to heart and opting to stare off into the night.
"How about this?" You scooted closer, resting your head on his shoulder, "I'll set aside more time for us, and you tell me whenever something's bothering you instead of bottling it up...Deal?"
A smile tugged on Bosch's face as he drew your intertwined hands closer, brushing his lips against your knuckles.
"Deal."
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livesworthlivingau · 5 months ago
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Behind the Vale Chapter 12
ISAT Spoilers below and Two-Hats! CW: Dysphoria
"How about this one? OH! Or this one?! No wait! This one is gorgeous!" [You practically squeal at all the lovely outfits on display in the tailor shop you found in the next town over. You were in the presence of a true master of their craft, and in awe at all of their work.]
"Vale, sweetie, you've been going back and forth for an hour and haven't even tried anything on... I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to recommend that we move it along, please." [You pout in response, it was rather clear she didn't appreciate true fashion like you, but she was right that your indecision was getting to be a bit much.]
"Fine, fine, you're right... It's just such a big decision! I haven't gotten to pick an outfit for myself in a long while..." [Your voice trails off, looking down over your star infused form. You place a hand to the star on your chest, very warm to the touch as always...]
"Vale?... You good?"
"Hmm? Oh yes, just uhh... lost in thought... I think I know what I want now~." [You say, returning to a rack you spent a while glancing through. You pull out an outfit with a lovely dark vest with coat tails, a loose shirt with puffy frills at the ends of the sleeves, a lovely pair of dress pants, and a cravat to go with it all. You also find a pair of half lightless half darkless gloves and heeled dress shoes to go with it all.]
[Several minutes later you finally emerge, all gussied up and gorgeous, flaunting about the room to show it off. Nille just laughs at your display before clapping some.]
"Okay, okay, I gotta admit you look crabbin' fantastic. There goes our whole rainy day fund with it though."
"Oh don't you worry yourself about that, we can always pick up more odd jobs here and there. Besides Vaugarde is known for it's hospitality~!" [You assure her, to which she rolls her eyes a bit but shrugs.]
"Alright alright, you've sold me. Besides wearin' that is probably the first time I've seen you REALLY smile since we met." [... You don't respond to that one, just looking away and going back to the mirror, admiring your new outfit. You glance up, looking into your own eyes to see that genuine softness Nille was talking about... Huh... Maybe we could make a life for ourselves... If not for this damned star head...]
"Heh... I guess you're right... It's so nice to be able to express myself again~."
"Glad to hear it, Vale. You ready to head out? We still gotta find Bonnie, remember?"
"Right, right, of course~! Don't worry, I haven't forgotten~!" [You reassure them, paying for your new threads and gathering all of your belongings to head out once more.]
[You stand at the edge of town... pausing for a moment. You close your eyes and take in a long, deep breath. You focus on your connection with Stardust, getting the vaguest sense of them in the direction of the right path...]
"Vale? Which way are we heading?" [You stare down the right path... your heart races... There's no harm is us taking a bit longer, right? Who knows how long we'd be searching for them either way... we can keep this going for a bit longer... we don't have to say goodbye...]
"Left, I... I don't like the aura the right path gives off~." [You wave your hand dismissively at the path, heading down the opposite way. Nille just rolls her eyes at your little display before following along.]
---------------------------------------------------
[Nille sleeps soundly in her sleeping bag while you camped out that night. You couldn't sleep... maybe it's the guilt of thinking you deserve happiness... You head over to the lake near where you had setup camp. You look down into it to see yourself... your beautiful outfit from neck to toe... and your blinding face, quite literally, staring right back at you...]
[You suddenly snap out of it, getting the ringing sensation in your hand that happens whenever Stardust calls you... Stars, why now... Against your better judgement, you bring your hand up to your head and silently listen...]
("Loop?… Can you talk to me?… Please?… I just want to know you're okay…") [Your other arm drapes around yourself, just holding yourself close as you feel shame even hearing their voice again...]
("Do you remember that time... I forgot Mirabelle's name?… I was so freaked out, all I could think to do was call you for help… Without a second thought, you helped me… you helped me remember everyone's names, their nicknames even, and why I started using them… You brought me back from the edge, and it helped keep me going… I don't think I ever thanked you for that… So thank you, Loop… Thank you for keeping me going when I thought I couldn't anymore…")
"... Stardust..." [Your hand slaps over your mouth as the words simply escape without your approval, panicking and feeling tears flowing down your face.]
("Loop?! Loop where are you?! Are you alri-") [You quickly pull your hand away and shake the gesture off, ending the connection immediately. You fall to your knees, holding yourself as tears keep pouring from your eye...]
"Stars... Stars why do I still care?! Why can't I just blinding leave you behind?!" [You shout to the lake, sobbing heavily.]
"... Vale?... Wh... What's wrong?" [Nille sits up sleepily, rubbing at her eyes. You shudder, quickly trying to compose yourself, wiping your tears again and taking a couple deep breaths.]
"O-Oh, s-sorry for waking you... just a nightmare, no need to worry about me~!" [Nille just gives you a look, clearly not buying it. She unzips her sleeping bag, getting up and walking over to you.]
"Do yah need a hug, hun?..." [She asks, offering a single arm as to not overwhelm you.]
"O-Oh, n-no thank you, I-I'm not much about... t-touch..." [You stammer out, rubbing your elbow some, wincing as you still feel tears slowly dripping from your right eye.]
"You're either getting a hug, or we're gonna talk about it, your choice, pretty they." [She teases with a smirk, holding up the other arm invitingly now. You hesitate still, taking one last deep breath and nodding.]
[You close your eyes tightly, bracing as if you were about to take a hit from a sadness, flinching heavily as you felt her arms slowly wrap around you... It almost stings at first, such an... unfamiliar sensation... but after a moment it's nice... her warm body pressed tightly to yours, like a weighted, heated blanket... Your arms very slowly wrap around them, placing your starry head on their shoulder, letting the tears pour from your eyes again.]
"There, that feel better?" [She asks, about to break the hug, but you find yourself holding her tight still... You don't know how long you stay like this, but you can tell it's far too long...]
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ppnuggiex · 1 year ago
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HII ur aesthetic is just so pretty and the way you write is so shekehsjjdkd fell in love when I read the first sentence, I'm not even joking😕
BUT ANYWAYY could I req diasomnia, heartslabyul, and/or octavinelle with a gn!reader who has a habit of squishing peoples cheeks whenever they hold eye contact 4 too long? /*flutters eyelashes cutely*/
THANKYOU PO IF YOY ACTUALLY DO THIS HOPE U DONT DROWN IN REQS OR SMTH HAVE A GREAT DAY MWAMWAA also i don't even know which characters are good with this kinda prompt so honestly im dependin on u 2 choose whoevee u want 🙇‍♀️ bye sissymars 🥺🥺🤭🤭🤗🤗
      TWST x gn reader
    『 malleus ,, sebek ,, riddle ,, cater ,, floyd ,, gender neutral reader    』
  -> reader who squishes cheeks when ppl stare too much
  — fluff ,, sfw ,, crack
  — TYSM 😭♥️♥️ this made my day omg ,, so glad you like my writing ,, i kinda did a few from each dorm you asked for except for octavinelle bc character limit is 5 for me 😭💔 but youre more than welcome to request for others ! :D hope you enjoy this 🙏❤️
    - malleus
| • he usually doesnt mean to stare for too long ,, always knowing it was rude and how it feels to be stared at by others
| • though he was focused on talking about the gargoyles at the gates and hadnt tore his gaze away for a moment
| • he shut up immediately the moment you reached out and squished his cheeks ,, eyes wide in astonishment
| • how fearless you are ,, child of man
| • he does ask about it ,, wondering what the reason was for ,, and when he learns why he apologizes and promises not to do it again
    - sebek
| • bro was on another rant abt his master ,, how courageous and how kind he is for putting up with these stupid humans everyday
| • oh how he adored his master ,, how pure and wonderful he was
| • it got to the point he was shaking your shoulders and making direct ,, intense ,, eye contact
| • annoyed with how long he was staring ,, you reached up and squeezed his cheeks
| • he jumps back ,, so confused and offended
| • why would you do that !?? explain now human !!
| • he huffs and puffs about the reasoning ,, but listens and respects your boundaries
    - riddle
| • he was probably ranting about another reckless first year making a mess of the kitchen or some students ignoring the queen’s rules
| • he didnt mean to stare for too long ,, most likely already knowing about how you get about it
| • when you squish his cheeks ,, he may or may not have let out an embarrassing squeak
| • he’ll puff his cheeks and apologize ,, telling you not to talk abt the squeak to anyone
| • his face is so red by the end ,, embarrassed he let himself stare too long and let out a squeak
    - cater
| • knowing how observant he is ,, he’d know about it immediately when he sees you do it to ace and deuce
| • he’ll be quick to discard his eyes when he realizes hes been looking too long
| • though he sort of stared a little too long once ,, trying to take a selfie with you
| • when you squish his cheeks outta nowhere ,, he’ll jump back a little and almost drop his phone
| • he apologizes and says he was adoring you for the moment ,, before taking the selfie and moving on to focus on that
    - floyd
| • he probably stares on purpose when he gets ahold of this information
| • its only so you can squish his cheeks ,, hes a bit weird abt it ,, craving your touch and if staring at you long enough grants him that then he will gladly do so
| • but if you get rlly bothered by it than he will stop
| • this time he just happened to do it accidentally ,, trying to memorize your smile as much as he could while it was there
| • he didnt realize what he was doing until you squeezed his cheeks with a huff
| • he blinked a few times before giggling and pulling you into his lap ,, wrapping his arms around you
| • “ ahhh sorry shrimpy ~ i didnt mean to stare too much ,,” he purred before pressing a kiss to your head
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fandomwriterlover · 8 months ago
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When they try to flirt for the first time (Monkey, Mantis and Crane)
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Monkey
He saw you for the first time when you were starting working at Mr Ping's Noodle place, and boy... At the very moment he gazed at your bright smile while attending a table he was smitten.
He returned much later as a client. He wanted to talk to you, getting to know you better. He planned to order a bowl od noodles and the add "And a smile with it, please~" Yeah... A good pick-up line to break the ice.
"Hello. What would you like to order?" Oh no, his mind it's blank as the rice! "Yea-- Huh... Huh... Wh-- What do you serve here?" "... Noodles, some dumplings..." "Oh, yes, yes! A bowl of smile-- I MEAN -- M-Mile. Yes... huh" "A Mile of Noodles?" He do not dare to speak now... So ackward. "I'm gonna ask Mr Ping if it's in the menu." And you left.
He banged his head againts the table. What was that?! Now they would belive he's weird. The Master Monkey weird!! This is worse than having his brother getting all the girls in his teens. Or ever worse that the Love Letter prank that certain panda made on him. (Po: I said I was sorry!!)
Before he could recover, you were coming back. "There's no such a thing of a Mile of Noodles..." Monkey wanted to disappear so badly. "... but I think he's going to try to make it happen in the future." You said in a funny tone; just for that he gazed at you. "If you're still unsure, I would recomend you the noodle soup with radish and tofu." "huh... Well, that does sounds good." He's doing it. He's talking normal. "One Noddles soup with radish and tofu coming right up."
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Mantis
He told himself that he was DONE with romance! No more Miss 'I'm a butterfly now', no more Hao... No more lovey dovey feelings! ... But then you entered at the Jade Palace as a servant, right at the front door with the sunset behing you, basking your presense in magnificent golden light. Yep, he's an hypocrite, but also a simp.
For once he's glad he's small, so he can keep a good distance without you noticing so he can admire you from afar... Oh, but he also wants to talk to you; but what could he say and do? Only a fool of himself. Like this time he was training in the patio, lifting some stones a weights...
"... 10...11... *huf*... 12--" He saw you coming to deliver a message to Master Shifu, and you indirectly stared ar his direction. " Twelve--- HUNDRED!!... *huf*" He throw the rock up avobe with great strenth and quickly made a pose. You both meet each other eyes... In a second. The stone landed right in front of Mantis... and over one of his feet. "YOW!!!"
Yow... He screamed 'YOW'?! Now, why didn't hold the scream like a man or screamed with a deeper tone or with a 'OUCH'?! Man, that was so lame. He was making a 'Po' of himself. (Po: Hey! Why Am I a expression?)
Mantis begged to not see you soon after today... But when he entered the kitchen to eat something THERE you are--- With a pained look? "Hey, are you ok?" "Oh, Master Mantis--" you wanted to bow with respect at the insect, but the monent you flexed your left wrist you hissed with pain. "--- Huh, I just got an accident, but I'm ok..." The green master quickly took a look at it. "That look sprained... Let me see it." You asured him that it was nothing but he insited. You showed the hand and the wrist, he carefully moved the hand with his 'hand thingies' with care. "I think I can fix it. May I?" You nooded. "Ok, let's get to the point." he try to joke, he did mange to get you a small smile. Aaaand... he 'ponited'. "YOW!" ... You both couldn't help to laugh
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Crane
He didn't planned this to happen. He just was dragged by Po to see the Dancing and Music Festival of the Valley, and maybe eat something; he's with Po, so food it's mandatory... But then he saw you dancing. So gracefull and playfull... It was like his mind erased everyone and everything around the place, and you where the center of the universe... He did NOT planned to be so into you at all.
At the third time he came to see the festival, Po found out that Crane was coming just to see you. (Po: I'm in this story? Sweet!) And as a good friend, he was happy that Crane was in love with you!! And, yes, he would help him out to talk to you. Crane REALLY don't think it's a good idea... But again, he has no courage to even speak at your direction... You're so god-like in his eyes, and he was so nervous.
"Ok, now that they are resting, try to compliment them. Just say that you loved their dancing." The panda walked with the avian toward your resting spot. "Ok, huh... Your dance was great... Like that?" "Yes! Super easy. There they are, go on." Po gently puched him on your direction. He walked a few steps close to you, and you noticied his presense. "Oh, hi. Can I help you?" The poor tall bird stared at you umoved, at the third mississippi he... stturtered. "You--y--you heh... You dance good?"... Ackward... "I think I do?"
Po the rescue! "Hey there! I'm Po, Dragon Warrior, and this is Master Crane. He just wanted to tell you that your dancing back there was awesome." Thank godness he came, Crane was dying from the inside of embarrasment. You got up politly. "Why, thank you." "And..." Oh no, Crane knew that look of his eyes, the look of 'Po's having a bad idea' face! "... my friend here would like to know a few dance moves. Maybe you could..." "Po..." "Oh sure!" What? You said yes?!
Poor Crane was a sweating wreck. He was watching and placing his steps at the same tempo as you, while his panda 'possible' ex friend was watching from the distance giving him thumps up... Trying to not mess up the dance rutine. "Step and step... You are doing it great." "Huh, really?" he, managed to say. Looking at Po, encourage him to keep talking. "I-- I think I'm better at kung fu than dancing... i'm not-- Gracefull at all." Suddely, you tripped... Crane's fast move prevented you from hit the ground, gragging with his wings at your waist. Now you were face-to-face. You smiled. "Well, that was a gracefull catch." Crane let go a small giggled as he helped you to stand on your feet. Maybe it was a rush of the contact, or because of his friend quiet scream of the sutuation, but he gained enough confidence to ask you. "Maybe, you could teach me more some other day?"
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inquisitornocturn · 1 month ago
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⊱─ 𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 & 𝕡𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕠𝕞𝕤 - 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙 ─⊰
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➺ 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: Cazador Szarr/f!reader the dhampir/spawn!Astarion
➺ 𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕤: no y/n is used, rating - E, dead dove do not eat, incest (father/daughter), POV second person, grooming, smut, loss of virginity (in a memory), light bondage, praise kink, fingering, vaginal fingering, spanking, semi-public sex, PiV, vampiric bites, asphyxiation, biting, creampies, threatening, Astarion is very pissed in chapter 1, canon-typical violence, hair pulling, throat fucking, cock worship, cum swallowing
➺ 𝕡𝕝𝕠𝕥 𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: You think you have everything you want, a loving father, one of his spawn to entertain you and protection of a vampire coven, but a master and his spawn have you caught in a middle, their jealousy, desire for control and possessiveness influencing their actions. Yet you don't want to be a doll pulled by strings, you want to be the Lady of the House, Lady Szarr, respected just like your father, Cazador, is. But that might not be what Cazador himself has planned for you, and maybe not what Astarion has in mind either. Can you stand against them - only time will tell.
➺ 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 7,506
𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖: some months ago, on my old tumblr account, people wanted more to shades & shadows, and with encouragement (and people enabling me lol) i have promised to write it. well, here it is at long last! i am quite proud of this one and it took me a while to figure out in what direction i wanted to take these three chapters, but i'm glad to finally share this as it is all done and dusted, in the manner of speaking. the dove is so dead it's just bones, guys, so buckle up and, as always, enjoy♡~
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➺ 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥: [link] | [on AO3] |
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You stand by the sarcophagus of Donnela the Architect. You know she’s your great great aunt or something along those lines, but you feel nothing when you gaze upon the flat surface of the tomb. It doesn’t even bear her image, it’s just a smooth slab of stone that is meant to represent the vampire that once was. You never asked your father if her body is there, or well, anything that can remain after a vampire is destroyed.
Yes, you remind yourself, you’re all monsters, yourself included. You don’t get to be murdered, you are destroyed. And you stand here, wondering what happened to this woman that was taken out of this life many years before you were even born and you are left with solemn questions. Your father does not speak about Donnela, he doesn’t speak about Vellioth either. Whoever came before Cazador Szarr are being erased from the history of your family. You only know their names because you found a list of previous Vampire Masters stashed away in some crook within the palace walls. You don’t even know who wrote the list or if it’s reliable at all, but you remember the skull in the room where your father took your virginity, in the dungeons beneath the mansion, you remember the scroll, clamped within the fanged jaw of someone who was alive once.
Who was it – you do not know, but they seemed of great importance to Cazador, considering he placed the skull in such honored spot, on a cushion, as if to prevent it from crumbling apart. But rest of the memories are blurred by flashes of pain and then pleasure. Your father’s whispered words of praise, his sweaty body moving on top of you. You were smaller back then, shorter, slimmer. You felt so tiny under Cazador’s towering form as he took you three times that night, leaving you sore, but a woman at last. His daughter, his bride.
You press your lips into a thin line at these memories, your arousal stirs in the center of your body and you try not to remember that night, try not to indulge yourself in the memory of your father loving you so tenderly, so protectively. He touched you in a way one touches a wounded bird – with so much care, you have never forgotten it. You exhale with a blush, unable to stop your mind from washing over you with beautiful memories and the sarcophagus in front of you fades from your focus as you relive the touches and grazes of his fingertips, when you heard Cazador’s whispers against your ear promising eternity together, just you and him. How he filled your virgin body with his length and how he inhaled when he smelled blood the moment he took what was rightfully his. Your sigh is strained and you snap out of your thoughts when you begin feeling wetness between your thighs, soaking your underwear.
“Ah.” You exclaim and resist the urge to lift your skirts and inspect it with your fingers, you know already that you got aroused. Right in front of this tomb.
“What are you doing here, daughter?” Cazador’s voice makes you flinch because you didn’t even hear him approach and with a loud swish of your dress you turn to face a man who you love so deeply it makes your very soul ache.
“Father.” You bow your head to him and the Vampire Lord walks closer. He stops in front of you for a moment, then walks past and places a hand on the sarcophagus.
When you look at him you see him gazing down on it with an expression you can’t quite read but that looks close to reminiscence. The Szarr family ring on his finger seems to glint in the moonlight that’s coming through the trees but you’re not sure if it isn’t your mind just tricking you, adding to the beautiful live portrait of your father that you’re observing. He doesn’t come here often, to the family graves sequestered in the far corner of the garden and hidden under the trees. Just as he doesn’t speak about the Vampire Masters before him, so does Cazador avoid this part of his domain.
“You haven’t answered me.” Your father says and his eyes flick to you, making you freeze in spot for a moment, scared that he might get angry at you for being here. Your mind reels, trying to find an answer that would satisfy him.
“I come here to think, to escape the busyness of the palace if it gets too much.” You try to sound calm and not to start stammering, but your throat clenches at Cazador’s bloodstained icy glare that seems to look into your very soul.
“Is that so?” He asks silently and offers you his hand while still resting the other on the lid of the sarcophagus. “Come, my daughter.”
You take his hand without hesitation because if you hesitated – he would notice and he would punish you for it. You were always meant to do everything he tells you to, no matter what is it. But for now Cazador does not seem to be in one of his foul moods, so you let him pull you closer without fear. He holds your hand and taps the sarcophagus lid with the other, drawing your eyes to the action.
“Do you know who’s supposed to be here?” Vampire Lord asks and you pause, again trying to think of an appropriate answer, yet the cooling wetness between your legs is distracting you. Your desire may have passed but remnants of it still linger, making you want to rush this conversation and change your underwear.
“Is it Donnela?” You ask and you know there’s no point lying because he will catch you in your deceit. And you don’t want to experience what happens if he catches you lying, it happened once before and you ended up being suspended in ropes for a week while-
“You are correct.” Cazador’s voice interrupts the horrific memory and you raise your eyes to him looking up, and feeling so small in front of him once more. Previous memories, of your first night together, return, and you feel passion stir in you once again. This face that you love, this face that looks so beautiful when he’s panting while on top of you with his cock stroking your inner walls, you try to focus but it’s hard. Your dearest father, all yours.
“Why she doesn’t have her name carved?” You ask, doing your best to focus on anything else but your cunt that is becoming wetter once again.
“She doesn’t deserve it.” Cazador’s fingers absentmindedly lace with yours and he holds your hand firmly, but without pain. He looks down at the sarcophagus and frowns. “Some should never be remembered once they perish, my child.” With fingertips of his other hand he traces the stone, feeling notches and tiny crevices on the surface. It looks like your father has something on his mind.
His features look calm, almost tinged with a hint of nostalgia and you have a fleeting thought that this is a perfect chance to ask about Donnella, to ask about Vellioth, to perhaps at last learn a bit more about those who came before you, but before you can make up your mind if you should dare to speak the questions, Cazador’s gaze turns to you and his fingers leave the tomb lid, raising to your face. When you look down you see the Szarr crest ring clearly before your eyes as if he’s showing it to you.
“You will have one of your own soon enough.” Vampire Lord says while watching your expression with a small but proud smile on his face. “And when you do, my dear daughter, you will stand by my side instead of being hidden away like a precious jewel that you are.” He squeezes your fingers with his, subtly reminding you that everything he does is for you and you take his other hand with yours, holding it as if you’re a squire to a king, then lean your head kissing the ring, feeling cold metal and the edge of the gem under your lips. “You’re perfect.” Cazador whispers as he pulls his hand from your fingers and your lips, then cups the side of your face, the coldness of his touch makes you feel safe.
You raise your eyes to his and find him looking at you with smirk. The sharp edge always remains in his eyes, that cruel threat of horrors to come if you upset him, but right now he looks almost gentle as he gazes down on you. Horrible and beautiful. Breath catches in your throat and your eyes widen with adoration.
“You’re mine, aren’t you, dear?” Cazador asks in a quiet voice and his fingers work to caress your warm skin. You lean into it and smile softly, he can see the love you carry for him in your eyes. Despite allowing one of his wretched spawn to entertain you, Cazador knows that you belong to him and always will. Still, he likes seeing it in your eyes, in your face, to hear it in your words, to feel it in your body when he’s fucking you. Everything about you belongs to him.
“Of course, dad.” You smile and Cazador’s fingers slip from your cheek to your chin, gripping it and tilting your head higher, then he bends over you, pressing his lips against yours.
“You’re mine and will be mine, forever.” He whispers against your lips and you barely manage to stop a mewl escaping your mouth. The stirrings of your lust increase and you squeeze his fingers tighter. He knows what he’s doing to you and you’re sure he’s doing it on purpose. He trained you so well to be truly his and you never fail him.
Cazador’s lips press against yours once more and his fingers leave your chin before his palm rests against the small of your back and draws your body against his. With free hand you reach up and press your warm palm against his neck as you kiss him back. When his tongue nudges against your lips you part them, letting him in, and moan into the kiss, letting it wash away all the worries or questions you might’ve happened just moments ago. Your father’s tongue grazes over your fangs, a constant reminder of his legacy, and you feel him grip your fingers tighter.
You open your eyes when you feel father pulling away from the kiss and your eyes meet his. You’re gently panting, filled with need, your panties soak it all up and it’s as if he knows. He always does know.
“Even here you’re so ready for me, aren’t you? I can smell your arousal, my dear.” Cazador comments, making you blush despite wanting nothing more than to be filled by his cock until you can’t speak anymore. There’s no other man that fucks you the way he does, he knows all the tricks and games of your body, everything that there is to know about you, and he uses that knowledge against you in most beautiful, merciless ways.
“We could return to our chambers.” You suggest carefully and he lifts an eyebrow at you, feigning surprise.
“Turn around.” Cazador’s voice is a command and you pause, processing it, then let go of both his neck and his hand before you turn around. Your sopping cunt makes movement uncomfortable but you don’t betray it, just clench your fists into your skirts with anticipation. Next moment you feel your father’s hands on your waist, then on your stomach, sliding down your hips. “Lift them up, dear.” He whispers against your ear and a shiver runs down your spine. You begin lifting the skirts of your dress until they are all bunched up against your stomach and chest.
Cazador’s hands leave your hips and you watch him caress your thighs before he grips at them and moves you to face the sarcophagus. Your face flushes and you swallow hard, wondering what he has in mind yet when his fingers grip at your panties and begin moving them down your legs you know exactly what he has in mind – to take you here, on top of this tomb. Whether his reason is to defile the resting place of Donnela or just because he simply wants to fuck you – you don’t know neither do you care. You just bite on your lower lip and step out of your underwear when Cazador moves the garment down to your ankles. For a moment you stand still but then gasp when you feel his face press between your thighs from the back and inhale deeply through the fabric of your dress making you squirm slightly, blushing even harder.
“You smell so sweet, my daughter.” The Vampire Lord mutters against the skirts and you nearly break the skin of your bottom lip from how hard you’re biting on it. Your desire to have him immediately is palpable.
Yet your father seems to have half a mind to torture you in the sweetest way possible – by taking it slow. You sense him moving his face away and hear him stand up once more.
“Your hands behind you.” He commands and you pause, not sure if you should let go of your bunched up dress but decide that you should, then you move your hands behind you. A second later Cazador is tying your wrists together and from weird wet feeling on your skin you know he’s using your soaked panties to do that. “Leg up.” Vampire instructs and you inhale sharply, then lift one leg, resting your foot on the edge of the sarcophagus. “Such a good, obedient girl.” Cazador comments with a grin you can hear in his voice and you open your mouth to respond but a sudden grip on your throat makes you pause. He’s not squeezing to cut off your airflow but it’s a firm, commanding grip nonetheless.
Your father presses himself against your back and makes you lean your head back against his chest while he moves one hand, pulling your dress up again. Cold air of the night caressed your pussy that’s pulsating with need and warm blood. And Cazador is not unaware. When his long fingers begin caressing your plump from arousal folds, he exhales with satisfaction.
“You’re perfect.” He hums while his fingers play with your cunt, spreading your folds widely and letting your arousal begin to drip down your leg unobstructed.
You shiver and mewl at his touch, trying not to move your hips against his fingers, because you know you will be punished if you don’t remain still, as always, but it’s extremely hard to obey tonight. You’ve been wanting for your father even before he showed up at the cemetery part of the garden and now it’s near impossible when his fingertips are grazing your entrance and then moving onto your clit.
“You’re so wet for me.” Cazador comments with a tone that betrays his pride, he’s always proud when you’re easy for him. “You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” You nod before he even finishes his question and that makes him chuckle. “So so eager, my darling daughter. I guess that spawn of mine is incapable of doing even as little as keeping my precious girl satisfied sufficiently. Or is it that you truly don’t want any other man other than me, hm?” Cazador taunts and you lick your lips slowly, your eyelids become heavy because while he speaks he rubs lazy circles on your swollen clit, making you whimper and your propped leg tremble.
Yet you wonder if this is the right place to be touched like this, taken like this, it feels almost sinful. You feel like you can almost sense Donnela’s eyes on you, piercing through the stone lid of her tomb. And this split moment of doubt, a second of mild discomfort doesn’t go unnoticed by Cazador. His fingers do not pause but you feel his lips against your ear and his grip around your throat tightens.
“What is it, my dear?” He whispers and you swallow dryly.
“Dad… should we be doing this here?” You dare to speak but Cazador doesn’t seem phased by your question nor does it seem to upset him.
“Yes, I’m doing this here.” Your father replies in his most casual manner and you gasp because he pushes a finger into your cunt, making your body shiver in response. “Do you think I’m scared of ghosts?” He asks as he pushes another finger in then begins pumping them slowly, drawing out the sensation of your hot flesh suffocating his digits.
You moan and shake your head slightly, knowing that you wouldn’t have a say in this in the first place. You hear your body make squelching sounds as Cazador fucks you with his fingers and you whine louder now, your body slowly but steadily beginning to prepare for the orgasm, sending shivers down your spine and making your cunt occasionally clench around your father’s fingers. Cazador knows this and he pulls them out of you, then without a warning he thrusts them into your open mouth, making you gasp around his fingers. Yet you don’t protest, you move your tongue, lapping up your own arousal and hear him chuckle against your ear, a low rumble that you feel against your back too.
“Not yet, my dear, you will get yours, but only after I get mine.” His teeth nip at your ear and you whine with despair, your body craving for release.
Then he removes his fingers from your mouth and with a firm grip on your thigh he lowers your leg, pushing you forwards and bending you over the sarcophagus, his grip on your neck vanishing with your repositioning. Your right cheek presses against the cold stone and you feel your father lift your skirts, pilling them up on your back.
Smack.
You flinch when his palm connects with the skin of your ass and you moan again. You wring your arms but the improvised bonds made from your panties hold tight, Cazador, after all, is well versed in subduing his prey and right now – that’s you.
“Tell me you want me.” He demands, his words hard and cold, and you whine when you feel his thumb circle your back entrance and push against it gently, not quite breaching it but putting enough pressure as if he has half a mind to do so.
“I want you dad.” You reply in a hurry and resist the urge to rub your thighs together, impatient and eager to feel him inside of you, no matter the hole he chooses.
“Oh how I like hearing that, my dear.” Cazador chuckles and his hand leaves you, letting your stinging skin cool in the night’s air. “I met Donnela once, you know.” He proceeds to speak while you remain still, your mind barely registering what he’s talking about. All you hear is the sound of fabric being handled as he undoes his pants. “She was a woman of grace but she was weak.”
A palm returns to your rear and he rubs the cheek that he smacked before, you feel the tip of his cock aligning himself to your entrance and you wait patiently, saying nothing. Your cunt aches to be filled, your folds are drenched with your arousal and Cazador seems to be teasing the juices with his length.
“You won’t be weak, will you?” He asks in a voice that’s more curious than demanding and you slightly shake your head. It’s taking everything in you not to move, not to buck your hips against his dick in hopes to be pierced by it. Your body is screaming with desire and you nearly salivate at the thought of him claiming you. Yes, he trained you well. “No, of course you won’t. You’re incapable of being weak.” Cazador chuckles and begins to slide his cock in, slowly, savoring every inch. It makes you moan with despair, because you want him fast and hard yet he’s still torturing you in his own, caring way.
You want to beg but you know better than that so you just wait until his length is buried in you fully, coldness of it nearly making your eyes roll to the back of your head and you exhale with relief. Even when he’s torturing you like this, Cazador never keeps it up for long once his dick is inside you. For a moment he just keeps himself unmoving, enjoying the squeezing heat around his cock but then his fingers grip your hip and he begins thrusting. Slowly, almost carefully, taking himself nearly all the way out and sliding back in with ease.
“You’re such a wonderful creature.” Cazador muses and with a corner of your eye you see him watching his dick disappear in you and then come out again, and then disappear again. Your body reacts with a tremble but he doesn’t address it, seemingly lost in thought. “If only you knew how important you are.”
“I know dad, I know.” You whine, hoping that it will urge him and it seems to work as the Vampire Lord snaps out of his thoughts and shoves his cock deep before leaning over you.
You don’t know what to expect but when you feel one of his arms slide under your stomach in a possessive embrace and his other hand find your throat once more, all while he presses his chest against your back, pinning you to the sarcophagus you realize just how much he wants you right now. A second of movement and his left knee is now on the sarcophagus, giving him proper angle to begin thrusting once more.
His grip on your body makes you incapable of moving even the tiniest bit so you just close your eyes and let him fuck you, feeling his icy length moving faster and faster. You hear Cazador’s breath becoming labored the longer this continues and you feel his tongue against the back of your neck, tasting you. You hear his subdued groans and sounds of his skin slapping against yours with every thrust, the most beautiful symphony. You begin feeling yourself come close, the perch of your father’s knee on the sarcophagus giving him the ability to really use his power to slam into you with as much force as he wants to. And in a few wonderful moments he wants to give you it all.
You moan and tremble, subdued by his hands that are like a straight-jacket and your head swims from pleasure, there’s no thoughts, just your Vampire Lord and you on this tomb, loving each other in a way only a father and a daughter can. At least to you - this is perfect, complete expression of love, and you let yourself sink into the feeling, allowing it to wash over you and take all your worries away. It’s you and him and it will be so forever.
Lost in your extasy you don’t notice a presence approaching, neither does your father. He fully expected to you have you all to himself in this lonesome corner of the garden and he’s completely lost in his lust for you, fangs now promisingly grazing your skin and you wish he would bite you already. Yet you dare not beg. Szarrs don’t beg, after all.
But the figure stops and watches you two tangled in this twisted expression of love. Astarion is nearly dumbfounded when he sees your face, your parted lips, witnesses your expression that speaks of nothing else but ultimate satisfaction. He hears your moans, sees the sweat on your face and then his eyes turn to his master when he makes you cry out once his fangs sink into your neck. The spawn never seen Cazador like this, his expression filled with sensuality he never imagined seeing on a face of a man who he only knows as cruel.
Astarion realizes he sees something he shouldn’t and nearly moves to walk away, maybe hide, but he can’t, because if his master sensed him approaching he would’ve ordered him away already. So he remains still, trying to turn his eyes away but being unable to, his gaze again focused on you and your moment of utter bliss as you very obviously begin approaching your orgasm. He recognizes it even if he never saw you to be this much into it when you’re with him. Astarion’s hands clench into fists and he frowns, jealous and angry. At you, at Cazador, but most importantly at himself. The only way he even manages to get you obey is when he repeats phrases his master does, when Astarion invokes your father’s name before you to remind you who you truly belong to. Spawn’s teeth grit but he can’t look away so he watches with boiling fury in his chest, not daring to look away but not daring to say anything either.
If only he had the power like Cazador he could have anyone he wanted, including you. But he can’t even have you to want Astarion as much as you want your father, spiritually and carnally. He’s reminded of his own powerless existence and hates it.
Astarion keeps watching as you moan louder and louder, hears how your voice echoes into the night and listens to Cazador groan against your neck, his thrusts becoming erratic and hurried, rushing to grant him release that he craves so badly.
“Say it.” Cazador growls with undisguised lust the moment his fangs leave your neck and you immediately know what he means.
“I’m yours, dad! I’m your good girl!” you whine with a shaky voice, you’re trying to hold on, not to come just yet, you know he likes it when he finishes first, but his body pinning yours against the tomb lid is becoming too heavy, you can barely inhale.
“That’s right.” Cazador hisses and his grip on your throat tightens as his lips push aside the dress and press against your shoulder. “You’re mine, now and forever.” He repeats and you can’t tell if it’s a reminder to you or himself, your mind is too dazed to think, too filled with bliss you’re trying to keep at bay.
Then your father’s teeth clamp onto your shoulder tighter, so tight it’s like he wants to take an actual bite out of you. With that he comes, milking his cock with your clenched walls while you try not to come yourself. But the moment he does you let go and cry out, shouting his name into the night while Cazador squeezes on your throat nearly taking your breath away. Your cunt spasms, pulling out last drops of his seed and he keeps thrusting until he knows that your peak is passing. His hips against your body slow, then stop entirely, and you both remain still for a long moment. You hear Cazador panting against your skin with your shoulder still caught between his teeth and you smile dreamily. You couldn’t be happier.
At last the Vampire Lord releases your flesh from his bite and lifts his head, looking at your sweaty face with pride and something too close to love, but you see none of it, because by the time you open your eyes, Cazador is pushing himself from you, his hands leaving your neck and waist, his perched leg finding footing on the ground, and he pulls out of you carefully, not spilling a single drop of his cum. You gasp when you feel him push in a thumb into your cunt, then move it as if he’s confirming just how fully he filled you and it looks like the conclusion satisfies him because you feel your wrists being unbound from the bondage of your panties.
You bring your wrists to yourself, your arms feel numb and weird, but you still push yourself up from the tomb and look back at Cazador, feeling the skirts of your dress drop around your legs the moment you straighten your back, but now you see that he’s not even looking at you.
When you follow your father’s haughty gaze you recognize the silver curls and the scowl. Astarion. How long he has been standing here? You have no clue. You look at Cazador and see an arrogant grin on his face while he tucks his softening cock back into his pants and makes himself presentable once more.
You find yourself mortified for some reason. Maybe because of how Astarion is glaring at his master. With so much hate that you are sure your father will want to punish it. So when he begins walking, not giving you even a glance, you realize you’re clenching the skirts of your dress so strongly your hands are shaking. You watch Cazador walk to Astarion and lean down to his spawn’s ear, whispering something that you cannot hear. Astarion doesn’t move, his gaze now shifted onto you, and then Cazador pats his shoulder with a wide smirk as he walks off, tall and proud. A conqueror.
When your father’s footsteps fade, you watch Astarion straighten his back, his lips pressed into a thin line but he’s not moving. You swallow dryly and feel your legs move before you consciously demand them to. You briefly notice your panties tossed on the ground but ignore them and walk down the path, knowing you’ll have to pass Astarion. Your breathing stops entirely when you get closer, seeing pure rage in spawn’s eyes but you don’t look at him, you command yourself not to as you try to keep your strolling pace, but when you’re about to think that you’re safe, as you think nothing will happen when you pass the pale elf, you feel your upper arm suddenly being gripped with such force that your knees buckle and you drop down on the hard stone.
You raise your face and see Astarion come into view, his gaze filled with fury when he gazes down upon you, his lips curled into a snarl while he holds your arm so painfully you wince with an unsaid plea to be released, but it looks like he enjoys seeing you kneeling and hurting.
“You see me just as he does, don’t you? A worthless spawn! A slave for you both!” He asks in a voice that’s nearly trembling with fury and you gasp, trying to wrench your arm from his fingers.
“What? Astarion, I have no idea-“ Your own voice is shaking from pain and panic that you’re feeling at witnessing spawn’s rage that you don’t even know why you deserve it.
“SHUT UP!” Astarion bellows and you flinch as if hit.
Your eyes are wide from shock and building terror as your lips quiver, trying to form words that could save you or doom you. But spawn ignores your evident fear and finally releases your arm, now grabbing your jaw as he leans over you, bringing his face close to yours. His nails dig into your skin and you wince but keep looking into his eyes, not daring to guess what’s coming next.
“You will never see me as anything but a slave for the rest of your existence, will you?” Astarion’s voice is low and dangerous and you swallow dryly, remaining silent. Your arm throbs but you can barely feel right now. “Tell me, little dhampir, do you think being allowed to fuck you is enough?” He smirks but there’s venom in his expression, poison that you haven’t seen in him before, something that you now realize has been festering in him for a long long time.
“Astarion, what’s gotten into you?” You manage a silent whisper and he squeezes your jaw so tightly you let out a pained moan, your arms gripping at his wrist, trying to pull his hand away but it’s like trying to move a statue – impossible.
“Nothing’s gotten into me, darling. I’ve just realized that no matter how sweetly you moan for me, you will never be truly mine. Is it because I’m not your father or is it because I’m not powerful enough to kill him?”
Your heart skips a beat from sheer terror.
Kill your father? What is he talking about? He can’t be serious. He’s a spawn, surely he can’t even if he wanted to? And for you? Would Astarion attempt that just to have you all to himself?
“You’re hurting me.” You whine, trying to pry his fingers off your face and with a scoff he releases your jaw.
“You like being taught lessons, don’t you?” Spawn says while you rub your jaw with trembling fingers.
“If you hurt me my father will-“
“I don’t care!” Astarion raises his voice again and you just glare at him from under your eyebrows. Who is he to lay his hands on you? “You will be mine.” Not a promise but a threat while you watch him begin to unlace his pants. “Keep kneeling or I will snap your neck.” Another threat spoken with a tone of voice telling you that he means every word. Your knees hurt already but remain on them, watching how he takes out his semi-flaccid cock and begins stroking it with a smirk blooming on his face. “I love how easily you submit, darling. Some things even Cazador does right.”
“Just because you feel powerless it doesn’t mean you have any right to take it out on me.” You can’t help but respond, your jaw still hurts and so does your arm, and you stare at Astarion with anger instead of fear but he just grins at you. There’s no fondness in those eyes, there rarely is, and you understand only now, realize that for him – you’re a conquest, a symbol of power. To Cazador and Astarion both, it seems that to have you – is to have power.
The thought itself stirs something in your body. A response that is so deeply ingrained in you that you weren’t even aware of it until now – you want to be treated this way. Not with roughness but as a reward for being powerful. Maybe it’s just one more of Cazador’s lessons that you internalized it so deeply until it became a part of you.
“I’m not taking my anger out of you, sweet little dhampir. I’m just remind you that Cazador is not the only one who has claim to your body.” Astarion’s grin is sharp and you notice him growing harder by the second. “Open your mouth.” He commands and you look into his eyes with a scowl.
“If you hurt me-“
He slaps you so hard you see only white for a long moment, the sound of it ringing through your ears and nearly deafening you if only temporarily. Your head swings so strongly to your left that you nearly fall to all fours but somehow remain on your knees. Your anger gets replaced by shock and fear once again as you look at the spawn looming over you.
“I said open your mouth.” Astarion repeats and his voice is full of danger so you just release a shaky breath and open your mouth obediently. His expression softens at your compliance and he even smiles, although it’s a smile of a victor and not of a lover, but has he ever been your lover or just another man who wanted your body but not your soul? “See, it’s easier when you simply obey.” Spawn croons in a voice that would sound alluring if you didn’t know what danger lurked just under the surface.
Astarion’s hand moves to tangle into your hair and he roughly yanks back on them, making you face upwards. You blink couple times at the pain but keep your lips parted while he looks down on you with a smug expression. Expression that tells you he doesn’t see you, not really, maybe never have. You’re something to be used, to satisfy himself with, to remind him that the only power he has right now is power over you. And you can’t help but be turned on. You haven’t noticed through the whole interaction how Cazador’s cum seeped out of your cunt and down your thighs but now that you’re getting aroused again you realize how wet your skin is from your father’s seed and your own juices flowing freely out of your entrance.
“You’ve been taught to obey your whole life, little dhampir.” Astarion’s voice is almost soothing as he releases his hard cock and his fingers brush lose hair from your eyes, tucking it behind your ear like a lover would, but you see the storming rage behind his eyes. It’s subdued now but still present, so much like your father. “Now don’t speak, I don’t want to hear another word from you, understood?”
You nod with a blush spreading across your face and Astarion is not blind to that. It gives him a feeling of satisfaction that no matter what he does to you – you will want him and become aroused by him. It gives him that desired feeling of power. If not over anything else in his miserable slave life, then at least power over you.
“I’m going to enjoy this.” He whispers more to himself than to you and you grip your skirts, trying not to show how aroused you are becoming but your salivating mouth betrays you.
Astarion grips the base of his dick and steps just a little closer, still holding your head firmly in place just before he shoves himself fully into your mouth. You feel the tip of his cock at the back of your throat, cutting off air and you make a pathetic whine before your mouth is full and your face is smashed against his pelvis. You didn’t even have time to notice when his fingers left his length.
“Take it, pet, take it all.” Spawn croons and you let go of your dress and grab onto his pants. At first you try to pull your face away but his grip on your hair is so tight you can’t move an inch.
Your eyes begin to water and your tongue moves in protest of your throat trying to gag around his cock. You forget your stinging cheek and forget Astarion’s rage, you’re in your element now and your pussy throbs with desire even while you struggle without air. His words only escalate your desire, you can’t resist what’s in your nature.
After a long moment, by the point your head begins to swim from lack of oxygen, Astarion finally pulls your head away from his cock. You gasp for air and look up at him, tears rolling down your face and his glistening dick is still connected to your mouth by heavy strings of saliva.
“Beautiful.” Vampire spawn comments with almost soothing affection and then shoves his length back into your mouth, beginning to thrust against your face. “Good obedient little pet, aren’t you? You don’t care who you submit to as long as you do.” His words are mocking but you don’t care.
With drooping eyelids you try to swirl your tongue against his hard cock, enjoying the texture and the sensation of veins, your mouth keeps salivating, covering your chin and dripping down his balls but you care for none of this, you just want to feel him come down your throat. How the tip of his length hits the back of your throat again and again makes your whole body ache with renewed desire.
“What a cock-hungry slut you are.” You hear Astarion chuckle but his breathing sounds increasingly labored and you lift your eyes to him, finally seeing his satisfied expression and lust in his gaze that replaced the rage from earlier. He wants you so much, you realize. “Worship me like you worship Cazador.” He suddenly demands and pulls his dick out of your mouth.
He slams your face against his cock, wetness of it staining your cheek and eyelid, but you stick out your tongue and begin licking. You hear his breathy chuckle and finally he releases your hair, giving you freedom which you immediately use to drag your tongue up and down his length. When you look up at him, you see that Astarion is consumed by pleasure, his eyes clouded and lips parted. You both are panting loudly but you notice it only now.
“Tell me you want me. Tell me you need me.” Astarion says with a degree of desperation in his voice and you hesitate before answering.
“I need you, Astarion. And I want you.” You say with your own voice coarse from the rough face-fucking you have been administered just earlier and a pleased smile appears on Astarion’s face.
“Keep going.”
So you do. Enthusiastically you resume licking his cock, tracing every vein and groove with the tip of your tongue, swirling it around the soft tip of his dick, making him moan now. You feel his hand return to your hair, both of them this time, but he’s not gripping it anymore, just cradling your head while you keep covering his length with saliva. For a moment you even dip your head lower, licking his balls, taking one of them into your mouth gently, sucking on it, then giving same attention to the other one.
“Oh gods, you’re so good…” Astarion struggles to speak and you smile proudly to yourself, you always love to be praised.
After a moment longer you return to his cock and take it into your mouth fully, your tongue pressing to the underside of it and you begin to bob your head, completely focused on the task at hand. You feel Astarion’s fingers tremble against your skull and you know he’s close.
“Fuck, your mouth feels so delicious.” Spawn moans and you feel his length twitch against your tongue just before Astarion shoves it deep into your mouth and begins spilling himself down your throat.
You gulp it down, listening to him moan as he uses your mouth to milk himself of every last drop and when he finally stops you hear him panting while still firmly cradling your head. After a moment Astarion pulls back and you release his already softening dick from your mouth, letting it drop. You open your eyes and look up, noticing his flushed face, beads of sweat on his forehead and his clouded eyes, but a satisfied smirk soon pulls at his lips and by your hair he yanks you back, letting go just before you drop-sit on your feet, finally getting some relief for your knees.
Without a word you use the back of your hand to wipe your chin and lips while Astarion quietly tucks himself back into his pants.
“I hope you won’t forget who you belong to, darling.” He coos again so sweetly it’s almost hard to believe he lost his composure so utterly just earlier. Your desire is still throbbing within your body like a drum but you realize that he’s done with you, at least for now.
“So that’s what this was all about?” You ask and with a silent grunt you get to your feet, looking into his eyes with a small frown. “You saw me with father and decided you needed to remind me that he’s not the only one who can have me?”
Astarion laughs and reaches out, caressing the same cheek he hit. It feels soothing, pleasantly cold against your sore skin and you lean into his touch before you can think against it.
“Maybe. Maybe not. In any case, I had a good time.” Spawn says and you can’t help but smile ever so slightly.
“You’re easy to please then, unlike my father.” You tease him and Astarion chuckles, removing his hand from your face, then he eyes you up and down slowly, as if trying to memorize exactly how you look in this moment, disheveled hair and all, your dress crumpled and stained.
“Maybe you should consider prioritizing me instead of him then. I would be a merciful master to you.” He says and your blink few times, trying to understand if you really heard what you just heard. Does Astarion really want you to choose?
“Astarion…” You begin, trying to pick your words but he just laughs again and starting to walk away, strutting with pride of a Vampire Lord himself.
“I’ll see you around, I’m sure, my little dhampir.” He says loudly and strolls back to the palace while you remain standing there, exhausted and dumbfounded.
Suddenly you feel like you’re between a hammer and an anvil and you dread to think what would happen if both Cazador and Astarion began getting increasingly jealous over you.
One thing you are sure of, if it ever came to that – someone wouldn’t survive.
The thought makes you shudder and you hope it will never come to that.
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obxone · 1 year ago
Text
Pogue Like Me (Part Three)
Edited-ish. ~4.8k words
Tag list: @gillybear17 @i-love-rafe @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @nomorespahgetti @lmg-stilinski24 @f4ll-for-you @user3737338292 @iheqrtaustin @jayblackpanther @calmoistorm @paintygirl
Warning: drug use
Master Page
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The phone rings while you nervously worry your teeth over your bottom lip and wait for the line to pick up. What you are doing could be a dumb idea, or it could be a great idea. You are not sure yet. 
"Hello?" Sarah's voice filters through the car speakers.
"Hi."
"What's up?" She asks, and you can hear the smile in her voice. "I'm glad you called me."
"I am actually about to pull up to the Chateau. Wondered if we could have girl talk for a minute?"
"Oh!" You hear a door open and close. "Umm… yeah, but everyone is here."
You exhale, hands tightening on your steering wheel. "Well…"
"You should still come… we can go for a walk or something. I want to talk to you and see you. I don't… lunch the other day-"
"Sarah," you interrupt her. "I know."
She exhales before letting out a nervous laugh. "Still come, please?"
"I am turning onto the dirt road now."
"Great!"
"See you in a second," you reassure her before hanging up. "I can do this, I can do this," you whisper over and over as you get closer and closer to the Chateau. Exactly like she said, you spot the Twinkie, Kiara's car, and JJ's bike. Pope would likely have caught a ride with one of them. "Great."
You park and turn off the engine, pressing your hands to your thighs and trying to calm your panicked heart. 
"I can do this." You whisper, squeezing your eyes shut a moment. "I have to do this."
Knuckles knock on the window of your door, and you open your eyes to see Pope standing there. You ease the door open to peek at him through the small gap. 
"Pep talk?"
"Uh-huh."
He chuckles. "It'll be fine, come on."
You resume running your teeth over your bottom lip until Pope's hand finds yours, and he squeezes while walking to the backyard. Being nervous and still upset is a bad combination, and you know that, but until you talk to Sarah or someone else about this situation, you will stay that way. 
"Scale of 1 to 10, how bad?" You whisper.
"Six…maybe eight."
You start to turn away to go back to your car, but he grips your hand tighter, stopping you both in your tracks. 
"You've done nothing wrong." He says quickly. His hands are gripping your shoulder, and he stares down at you. "You were honest and direct. Which is a first for you, but if it was Kiara or JJ, they would not think twice."
"Okay," you sigh in relief that you have someone on your side, and he is right. All his points are valid and accurate. You wrap your arms around his waist in a hug murmuring a quiet thank you. He hugs your back, patting your shoulder. 
"We've got to stick together, right?"
"Right." You let him go and step back. "Let's do this."
He grins at you before leading the way. His hand brushes yours again once you step into view of the other four. All four heads turn and Sarah smiles brightly, hopping out of her chair to hug you. 
"It's okay," she whispers in your ear, rocking you back and forth in a tight hug. 
You nod, letting her go and moving forward. 
John B lifts his hand to smack yours when you pass him. "Missed you. Where you been?"
"Around."
"With Rafe," JJ mutters, stabbing a stick into a muddy spot by his boot. Kiara rolls her eyes at him, but her gaze never meets yours. She lays in the hammock, and JJ lingers close by. They were likely sharing it before you arrived. 
"Rafe?" John B asks, and you are fully aware that he is playing devil's advocate now. Sarah slaps him on the back of the head, solidifying your opinion even more. He winces but continues to look at you. "Really?" His nose scrunches slightly, and you fight back a laugh at how endearing it is. 
"Not really," you remark as you sit in one of the empty lawn chairs. You can tell they do not believe you, so you opt for honesty. "Maybe a little."
He bobs his head, processing your words while rocking back onto the back legs of his chair. "Why?"
You shrug. "He is helping me with something. What is with the questions?"
"Are you dating?"
"What are these questions?" You laugh, trying to stave off the panic that feels like it is piercing you between the ribs. They have been discussing you and Rafe in your absence. 
John B shrugs, and the front legs of his chair hit the ground. "Dunno."
JJ speaks up then, and you can feel his stare burning into your side profile. "He's a kook."
"So was Sarah…" you mumble, gesturing to the blonde with a sympathetic smile. "And we still gave her a shot."
"Fair," she whispers, pursing her lips. 
"But this is Rafe!" His voice grows louder, and he shifts to lean closer toward your direction. 
"Also, fair," Sarah adds, frowning at the idea that her brother could become a pogue like her. 
You stay silent, gaze darting away from Sarah and John B down to your hands. They tremble, but you refuse to grip anything solid to hide the reaction they are pulling from you like you are tempted to do. "I'm not sure what you want to hear right now."
"Tell us it's not true!" JJ jumps up, waving his arm in a sweeping gesture for the group assembled. "Tell us that it is a prank!"
"But it's not."
He groans, running his hand through his hair. "Why won't you look at me?"
You lift your chin then and meet his gaze. Tears collect in your eyes, and you swallow the hurtful words you want to throw at him. "Happy?"
"No!"
You shrug, looking away then. This is a losing battle with all five of them present, and your emotions waver on the edge. "I should probably go."
"No!" Pope, Sarah, John B, and Kiara shout together. You flinch, your hands tightening around your thighs, despite not wanting to do so. 
"Stay. We need to talk about this!" Sarah begs, moving closer. 
"About what?" You ask, looking at her as a tear falls down your cheek. "How you all expect me to stay the quiet, timid little girl that never thinks for herself or goes after what she wants?"
Sarah frowns. "That's not… no!"
"Well, that's what it feels like," you respond, standing as well. "You are all supposed to be my best friends." Your eyes cut to JJ. "You are supposed to be my very best friend, and it feels like you do not care about me, not really."
"That's not true," JJ says, shaking his head. His face screws up in frustration. "Never has been!"
Reaching up, you wipe away the tears and exhale. "Feels like it to me."
"We just don't think Rafe is healthy," Kiara finally speaks up from the hammock. "You've been different since your birthday and…."
"Because I'm standing up for myself!" You cut her off. "You guys lied to me for three weeks!" You gesture between her and JJ. "You lied to all of our faces! You keep secrets! You broke our rules!"
JJ starts to talk, his panic getting the best of him, but you lift your hand to stop him. 
"Best friends don't do that!" You state, more tears starting to spill over. "Did you even notice I left the party?!" You look at each of them. "Any of you?!"
No one says anything, and you laugh, shaking your head. 
"I left my own birthday party, and not a single one of you noticed." You look at Sarah. "I want to talk, but I can't do this… not here, not now."
She closes the small space between you, gripping your wrist. "Please don't leave. Not like this."
"I'll be fine," you murmur, squeezing her hand in yours.
"Are you dating him?" JJ asks, and you close your eyes, dropping your head. 
Sarah shifts her weight, and you can sense the tension thickening in the air. "JJ! Not now."
"Then when?!" He asks, a humorless laugh bubbling up. "When we've already lost her!"
"Guys," John B starts talking while getting to his feet, but the nail is already in the coffin. The wounds are too fresh and deep. 
"Go fuck yourself, JJ!" You snap at him. "Because honestly, if you were my friend, a true best friend, then you would not give a shit about who I dated if I was happy! Because that is what a friend does. That is what I am trying to do for you, but you are making it so fucking hard!"
"Okay, easy," Sarah whispers, her arm circling your waist to keep you away from JJ.
"This isn't solving anything!" Kiara shouts and turns to JJ. "We need to be reasonable and listen to each other."
"I am listening!" He yells, and Kiara shakes her head, the disappointment clear on her face.
"Guys," Pope and John B both try to calm the chaos, but it is too late. Hell's gates are open, and there is no going back. 
"You're my family, all of you," you say quickly, looking at each of them in the face, and fresh tears well up. "And I love you more than anything, but I don't feel loved. Not right now." You remove Sarah's arm from your waist and step away from the small circle of chairs and your friends. Your eyes cut to JJ and Kiara as they stand close together. "And you both can go to hell with your hypocrisy."
You leave without another word. Sarah's mouth drops open in surprise, and Pope shakes his head, looking away from the newest couple. John B groans, pressing his hands to his face. 
Without waiting for someone to stop you or even giving them a chance to try to stop you, you leave the Chateau behind and attempt to focus on where you are going. Tears blur your vision, and ragged breaths escape as the panic swallows you whole. You barely make it a mile before you have to pull over on the shoulder to try to calm yourself. 
Your cell phone ringing breaks the quiet, and you silence the call before dropping your head onto the steering wheel. You had done it. You had sealed and buried your childhood friendships. The tension had come to the surface and snapped before your very eyes. The phone rings again, and you groan, answering it without looking. 
"What?!" You snap. "I'm not coming back!"
"Whoa, pretty girl," Rafe's voice breaks through your panicked thoughts. "You okay?"
"No."
He can hear the upset and panic coating your voice. There is shuffling on his end and a faint 'Where you going, Country Club?'. "What happened?"
"Long story," you whisper, closing your eyes, teardrops hitting your thighs. "I don't want to talk about it over the phone."
"Where are you?"
"Side of the road."
He groans, and you hear a car door open and close. 
"I'll be fine, Rafe. What do you need?"
"I got something for you. I was going to bring it by."
You laugh and open your eyes to see the droplets of tears littering your jean shorts and the skin of your thighs.
"What's funny?"
"Nothing," you mumble, closing your eyes again. "I would rather not go home right now. Meet somewhere?"
"Sure," he says, and you can hear him driving. "Parking lot from your birthday?"
"Oh, god," you groan, and he laughs. Flashbacks of the night fill your head, and you bite your lip, thighs pressing together at the phantom feel of his touch on you. "See you in a few minutes."
"All right."
It does not take long for you to find one another. You sit on the trunk of your car until Ward's truck pulls into the mostly empty lot. The setting sun is ending many beachgoers' perfect day, and soon you will have the beach to yourselves. He steps into view seconds after parking next to you. His hand brushes your leg, his head tipping to the side while he looks at you.
"This is twice now that you've cried leaving John B's and been on the side of the road."
You sniffle and reach up to wipe away the tears. 
His knuckles knock against your knee. "Talk to me."
You exhale, dropping your hands onto the trunk beside your thighs. The metal is warm from the sun beating down on it all day. "We got in an argument, and I may have told JJ and Kie to go to hell."
Rafe laughs, his eyes crinkling before he shakes his head. "I really am rubbing off."
You roll your eyes. "I'm not proud of myself."
"I am!"
You frown, looking away to watch a family load into a minivan. Sunburnt kids, boogie boards, and beach gear are all in tow. You smile a little and try to ignore the promising sting of fresh tears stirring up. 
He moves closer, his abdomen pressing against your knees. "I have something for you."
"Yeah?" You ask before turning your attention back to him. 
He nods, fishing in his jean pocket before producing a bag of weed. He drops it on your lap and grins at you. "Just in time, huh?"
You nod, closing your eyes for a moment. "Who did you get this from?"
"Barry," he mutters, his fingertips skating over your exposed thighs. "Do you want to do some now?"
"On the beach."
He grins before pocketing the bag and helping you down from your trunk. He leads the way to the beach, and you follow. You smile politely at the tourists leaving until he finds a secluded spot nestled among some driftwood.
He watches you fish around in your purse until you produce a bowl, grinder, and lighter. He chuckles, brushing his hand over his mouth. "You come prepared."
"I like weed," you mutter, plucking the baggie from his other hand. "Makes me feel less anxious and clears the bad thoughts."
"Bad thoughts?"
You nod, putting what you need in the grinder before turning the lid back and forth.
"What bad thoughts?"
You exhale, meeting his curious eyes. "That I'm not good enough. That I don't deserve to live sometimes…" You swallow. "That I'm failing and not doing anything right. That everyone is going to leave me." You let out a harsh laugh. "But it looks like I've pushed them away instead."
Rafe frowns, studying you. "I have bad thoughts too."
You stare at him, waiting for him to continue. 
"Umm…" He looks down at the sand, his arms resting on his knees. "Sometimes I think things… a-and I know they aren't okay. I'm not okay. I thought I was. But I keep having these thoughts in my head, and I can't control them. I try," he presses his hands to his face. The heel of his palms press to his eyes before he drops them and looks at you. "I'm afraid of what is going to happen."
You reach across to touch him. Your hand is grasping his. 
"I'm afraid of what I am going to do."
You steady your breathing and tighten your hand on his. "I think talking about it is the first step."
He nods, agreeing. "I should get clean. I should get my shit together."
"Rafe," you sigh and look back at him. "You can. I know you can."
He smiles a little before laughing harshly. "But my father doesn't think I can."
You huff, going back to your task. "Ward sometimes gets in his own way."
"What do you mean?"
You shrug, filling the bowl. "Look at Sarah. She's a pogue now because he did not listen to her. And you… you're trying to figure it out, and he keeps pressuring you instead of listening to you."
Rafe's lips press into a thin line, and you worry you have crossed the line, but then he clears his throat. "I've told him I'm not okay, but he says to 'man up.' So I'm trying to do that."
You smile weakly before you offer him the packed bowl and lighter. "Want the first hit?"
He takes it, and you watch him light it and inhale before passing it back to you. He blows it out a few seconds later and relaxes against the driftwood. 
"Who knew?" You mutter before taking a hit. You copy his actions of exhaling and relaxing against the sun-bleached tree trunk. "The kook and pogue outcasts, becoming friends."
He laughs before shaking his head. "I'm not your friend, y/n."
You pout, but he reaches over and pokes your bottom lip. 
"I'm your outlet."
"Outlet?" Your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. "For drugs?"
He shrugs. "And sex, if you need it."
You laugh and drop your head onto his shoulder, enjoying the beginnings of your high. "I think that I want to date whoever I let fuck me first, Rafe."
He is silent for a moment, but his fingers continue to skate up and down your thigh and around your knee. "Date me."
"What?" You laugh and turn your face to look at him. Surprise is in your voice and expression.
He shrugs. "Why not? Might help get my dad off my case, and it'll piss your ex-best friends off."
You frown at the mention of your friends. You do not want to talk about it anymore. You would rather forget tonight happened for a little while. "Is this so you can 'pop my cherry'? Another notch on your bedpost?"
"No," he responds, brushing his knuckle against the hem of your shorts. "But when you are ready, I can do it. No notch."
You hum before taking another hit. "Okay." You supply after you exhale. "Two bad thoughts make a positive action, right?"
He laughs, slinging his arm around you and pulling you against him. "Maybe."
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"Why are we doing this?" You ask Rafe. It is too late to back out now as he leads you toward a kook house. A party is happening to celebrate someone's college acceptance. 
Rafe shrugs. "I have party favors to sell and a new girlfriend to show off."
You snort at the last part, but your hand slides into his. Your fingers interlacing together right before you step through the main door. 
"Rafe!" Kelce is first to greet him. "Where you been, man?"
"Had to get my girl," Rafe answers Kelce, clasping his hand and pulling him into a hug. 
"Your girl?" Kelce questions, and Rafe tugs you forward. Kelce smiles. "I fucking knew it!"
You laugh, leaning into Rafe's side. His arm hooks around your shoulders as he grins proudly. 
"Well, enjoy!"
"Hey!" Rafe grabs his arm quickly, pulling him back. He leans in, and you already know he is telling him about the party favors he brought. "Spread the word!" He tells him as Kelce walks backward with a smile and a thumb up in agreement. Rafe turns to you once Kelce is out of sight. His hands secure around your hips. "Want a drink?"
"Please." You smile up at him. 
"Cool, umm…" He looks around and spots an empty patio loveseat on the deck. "Wait for me out there, all right?"
"Yep." You peck his lips before passing through the partygoers to take the loveseat. Once you are settled and people-watching, you notice Sarah and John B by a group of kooks you knew. Scarlet and Olivia are two of them. Olivia has it bad for Kelce, and he has never noticed, from what you can tell. Sarah's eyes connect with yours, and her lips part in shock. You lift your hand in an awkward wave, aware of how tense it is. 
"Here you go." Rafe reappears at that time and holds out a cup for you. You take it and hum in appreciation at the fruity punch in the cup. "Careful, it's Ryn's secret recipe." 
He takes the seat next to you, his arm hooking around your shoulders. You lean into his side, looking at the plastic bag he has dropped on the table. 
"How much do you think you'll sell tonight?"
"I don't know."
You hum before glancing at Sarah and John B, who are both openly staring at you. "Your sister is here."
"Oh, yeah?" He asks, laughing a little before following where you are looking to see her. "And that pogue."
"John B," you offer before taking another sip.
"John B," he repeats before tapping your chin. You tip your head to look at him, and his lips press to yours. His intentions are not intended to be good for the pair watching you, and you know that, but you also know no matter what you do now, the pogues will think what they want to. 
You kiss him back, your hand skating over the line of his jaw. His lips turn up against yours in a devilish grin. His hands sneak under your skirt, his fingertips possessive against the skin of your thighs. You moan into his mouth when his thumb brushes between your thighs. Your fingers weave through his blond locks, tugging him closer. It is indecent, and you cannot help yourself. 
"Are you serious right now?!" Topper's voice cuts through the haze of Rafe's mouth on yours. The kissing ends, and Rafe smirks at his friend. "Since when?"
You shrug, looking at Kelce coming through the door, a couple of pretty girls on his arms and trailing behind him. You smile at him. It is no secret that you prefer Kelce over Topper. Kelce had never been crass or actively rude to you like Topper had. 
"Yesterday."
Topper accepts Rafe's answer without another word. 
"Come sit with me," Rafe mumbles against your jaw while his arms hook around your waist and pull you onto his lap. "Give Kelc some room."
You hum, leaning back against his chest. You can feel how your indecent behavior has affected him, so you tease him a little. "Also, to hide your boner?"
He laughs against your shoulder. His lips warm against your skin. 
"Kelce!" Topper clasps his hand before Kelce throws himself onto the couch beside you. He smirks, admiring you on Rafe's lap. 
"You two look good." His attention shifts to Topper again. Kelce is gauging his friend and how he feels about Rafe and you, but you do not care what the blond kook thinks.
You roll your eyes and sip from your cup before your gaze cuts to Sarah and John B across the room. John B is clinging to her arm, trying to keep her with him and not storming after you. You can read her lips easily as she states that she only wants to talk to you.
John B visibly groans and releases her. 
"Sarah is coming," you warn Rafe, and he groans loudly in annoyance, shuffling you around on his lap as he tucks his product away. He mutters something about her snitching and tells Kelce to hang out for a minute. 
"Hey!" Sarah says, dropping onto the armrest of the chair that is adjacent to the loveseat. Her expression does not match her happy tone. Instead, she looks like she is expecting answers. "What's going on?"
"Just hanging out," Kelce answers before either you or Rafe. 
Rafe's arm snakes around your waist. His chest presses into your back as he leans forward to collect his drink. "What do you want, Sarah?"
"To talk to my best friend."
He can tell you are on edge and nervous about being around them again, especially now that you are officially together. Your hands grip his free hand that rests on your thigh.
Rafe chuckles, shaking his head. "From how I hear it, you guys are not treating her like friends, much less best friends."
You exhale, pushing your hand onto his thigh. "Rafe."
"No," she says, looking down at her shoes. "He's right."
You watch her, ignoring the sting of yesterday's argument drudging back up. "John B does not look comfortable alone."
She frowns, glancing at her boyfriend, and he shakes his head, leaning back against the wall. "He wants to talk to you, but…." Her gaze flickers over the three kooks. 
"I'll come over there," you offer. John B and Sarah were trying, so you would too. You pat Rafe's arm to signal for him to let you go. 
"Don't go far," he says into your ear, squeezing you back against him one last time. "I don't trust them."
And then his arm falls away, and Sarah helps you to your feet. Glancing back at Rafe as you head for John B, you notice a frown on his face while he watches you until Topper and Kelce demand his attention. 
You can do this. This time it would be only two pogues and not five.
"John B."
He smiles at you, shaking his head. "I don't like not being friends."
"Me either," Sarah adds quickly. "No one does."
You frown at them before downing the rest of your drink quickly. "I'm not enjoying it either."
"Then can we talk about it?" She asks, her hand gripping yours. "Please!"
"Sure."
She exhales a breath of relief. "So… are you dating my brother?"
You stare at her and then John B, gauging them before clearing your throat. "Yes."
John B groans, eyes closing, and his head falls. Sarah frowns at him before turning her attention back to you. 
"Since that day JJ saw you?"
"Yesterday, actually." You cross your arms over your waist. Your nails bite into the soft inside of your arms. "After the argument, we met up, talked, and realized that we like one another."
She nods, licking her lips. "Are you sure it is a good idea?"
"No," you laugh, glancing over your shoulder at him, but he is forming lines and collecting payment. "Probably the worst idea, but I need something different."
She leans closer to you, her voice dropping. "Is this because of Kie and JJ?"
"No."
Her eyebrows raise in disbelief at your statement, and you groan. 
"No, it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me."
John B clearly knows what you are talking about, even with Sarah whispering as he clears his throat. "JJ is just as upset as you. I've never seen him like this."
You frown, eyes darting away from John B to the floor. "I can't please everyone."
"But you can talk to me," JJ's voice states from behind you, and you turn to see all three missing pogues behind you. 
Pope moves closer first, his hand brushing your arm. "You okay?"
You nod once, glancing over his shoulder to JJ, who is watching you with concern. "Umm…" You exhale. "I don't know what you want to talk about since no one wants to listen to me."
JJ glances at Kiara before he drops her hand and moves closer. "We're worried."
"I know."
"Then help us understand," he offers, his touch light as he grazes your wrist with his thumb. "You're my best friend, y/n. Please."
You close your eyes and exhale. You open them to look at JJ as you deliver the answer. He seems to know already but hates the idea of it. "I'm dating Rafe. We hung out a few times and decided to give it a go last night."
JJ steps back, his expression shifting to annoyed and frustrated. "He's not safe."
"You don't know him."
He gapes at you, and Kiara shakes her head, looking at Sarah for help. He ignores the silent pleas for help from Kiara. "Yes, we do! How many times has he belittled us? How many times has he hurt one of us? Do you get th-"
"Pogues," Rafe's voice cuts into JJ's rant as he moves behind you. His cologne and body heat wrapping around you. His hand finds your hip, and he looks at JJ over your head. "I thought this was a kook party."
"We stopped by to see our friend," Kiara spits out. Her gaze shifts to you, silently pleading for you to walk away from him, but you do not. 
He nods, looking down at you, and you look up at him. "Ready to go?"
"I think so," you state before shifting your attention to Sarah. "I'd like to talk just us, one-on-one, eventually."
"We will." She watches you with her brother before glancing at John B, who moves forward and blocks JJ from moving any closer. If he did get closer, you are sure a fight would start. The rage in his ocean eyes and the tight fists tucked against his side tell you enough. 
"We should go," you whisper before taking Rafe's hand. "I'll see you guys around." You offer with a small wave. 
"You pogues enjoy the party, all right?" Rafe taunts and lets you lead him away from the small cluster that continues to build with tension. 
(Part Four)
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292 notes · View notes
noxer · 4 months ago
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«Unmasked»
Okay, i'm gonna try. I hope this is not that bad. Uhh, Soundwave/Blaster, some sort of fluff, something about a border where masks don't matter anymore, so it doesn't matter whether the mask is off or not, so why bother taking it off at all?
/awkward curtsy/
______________________________
"Question: Blaster wants to see Soundwave's face?"
It wasn't a question Soundwave would have asked under normal circumstances, but he had to admit that their situation was never normal. It also definitely didn't get easier with the onset of... the truce (he can't bring himself to say the word "peace", and it's not even a matter of Decepticon pride, it's just... it was difficult to realize until now). An intimacy that oscillates on the border with invasive, an understanding that could usually be shared only with own reflection, this whole set of things that does not allow one to relate each other to the usual one-sided categories of “enemies”, “friends” or “lovers”. This is difficult, there is not enough intelligence and experience here, you need faith in your own actions, hope for a favorable outcome, everything that the third-in-command did not have the right to rely on.
However, this is not the only reason. The thing is, Soundwave basically never asks questions. He doesn't need it. He always knows the answer in advance, relying on his own espionage skills or slightly more straightforward telepathy. But he doesn't want to read Blaster's mind right now. Perhaps later, when he gives an answer, and Soundwave can understand how ready he is to lie to him.
In addition, direct questions are much simpler and more effective than trying to unravel other bot's hints, semi-gestures and EMF’s vibrations, small signals emanating from the body, like a special type of code. Soundwave is a master codebreaker, but even he makes mistakes, and this is not a situation where he wants to make a one.
That's why he asks.
Blaster turns his head towards him, looking interested with bright blue optics. An almost tangible curiosity emanates from his body, mixed with playfulness and something less understandable. The Autobot is intelligent, although not the type of intelligence that any Decepticon is accustomed to. There is no cunning in him, no ability to anticipate someone else's shot before it leaves a hole in your back, no tenacious paranoid attentiveness. However, Blaster was not so easily fooled. He has cracked his codes, exposed false broadcasts and lured data out of databases for centuries. The fool couldn't handle this. The fool would have died on the day of his appointment as an officer. Blaster was no fool. Emotions might cloud his vision at times, but at the same time they gave him insight that was only occasionally surpassed by his own uncanny empathy.
Soundwave doesn't know what Blaster will answer, but he already knows that the answer will not disappoint him.
“I don’t know,” the Autobot’s deep voice purrs with attractive vibrations, “Do you want me to see?”
Soundwave's spark ignites. As he had expected, the other person's answer was extremely... interesting.
Blaster knows him. He knows from so many facets, in some places, perhaps understanding more about him than Soundwave himself understood. This happens when your lives repeatedly find themselves in each other's hands in so many different ways. One secret more, one secret less, it wouldn't matter anymore, not for them. But still...
He moves closer, enough to touch another bot, feeling the static spark between the bright scarlet plates and his own fingers. Blaster's hand almost simultaneously touches his mask. And nothing more. Soundwave feels the warm weight, the texture of worn metal and the faint electricity, but that's about it. There is not a single attempt to open hidden locks or remove the mask. Just a gentle, comforting touch.
He would allow his face to be revealed. He would.
But he's glad he doesn't have to.
He's glad that his secrets can remain secrets without tarnishing what was between him and Blaster (whatever that was after all).
Soundwave leans closer to the palm, absorbing its soft warmth under the autobot's quiet laughter.
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heartilywrites · 4 months ago
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hi! I wanna say I really love your works!!!
I have a korra x reader childhood friends to lovers idea where korra and reader are really really really close friends and they're constantly very touchy with each other where they're kinda in a 'what are we?' relationship
،، 𝓛ove me back ; Korra
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request guide | masterlist
resume: just a couple of really close best friends, right?
content warning: fluff ; if you squint, theres angst ; Korra x fem!reader ; r is from the Southern Water Tribe, but no bending status mentioned ; eye color description ; open ending,,, i think- ; no use of y/n
wc: 2.3k
a/n: oh youre going to hate me so much, but listen: i wanted to establish the relationship in this part, but suddenly good luck babe started to play and my brain went ~funky~ if we have luck i can make a part 2— THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING AND FOR LIKING MY WORK, DARLING, ENJOY :D
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“ You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth.
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Warm hands were felt looking for rest on your waist before they started to guide you to seat. “That's better!” Korra's voice sounded at your back, leaving a small kiss on your shoulder and now hugging you completely while resting her chin on your shoulder.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “What were we talking about, again?” you asked, your back started to rest against her chest and both hands on top of the avatar's arms.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We were talking about what should we do this weekend.” she reminded again, you nodded.
Under the light given by the full moon that night, Korra and you were together once more letting time pass.
She had been your best friend almost since you could remember, your parents had always been close with Korra's even before you two were born and after the two family's addition, they made you hang out together to carry on with the friendship. Playing outside, learning about the tribe together, seeing Korra practice her three bending ways after discovering she was the avatar; in everything she had lived, you were there, she could find you by her side in any memory.
A year before she arrived to Republic City, you had moved there from the southern water tribe in looks of more opportunities, but not even the distance between you two could make the friendship weak. You wrote to Korra weekly telling her about how your life at the city was going and how you couldn't wait for her to come to Republic City finally.
What you didn’t expect on a random weekday getting ready to go to work was a telegram from the Air Temple Island asking your presence there as it had been requested by Korra, you called in to your job telling that you would be absent due to illness and quickly made your way to the island. When the avatar saw you step out the boat she was fast to run and pick you in her arms, both giggles combined while your legs trapped her torso.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'm so happy you're here!” she exclaimed hugging your waist tight and allowing her head rest on your chest.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That's what I should tell you!” you said back, tiny kisses were left on her crown by your lips. “Dear spirits, I thought I wasn't going to see you again in this lifetime.” clearly exaggerated.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'm so glad to finally meet you,” a male voice called your name and both of you turned to look at said direction, being met by the airbender master with his three kids.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh! Master Tenzin!” you untangled your legs from Korra as she put you down, but never got away. A small bow was made as a greeting and once you straightened, Korra pulled you closer by the shoulder as if you weren't already next to each other. You didn’t push her either, both arms went to hug her by the waist. “Thank you so much for allowing me to visit the island.”
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “No need, Korra was just impatient to see you and we didn’t know where you live.” he answered, the girl cleared her throat.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Alright, if you excuse us I would like to show my best friend around and then we'll go to the city.” Korra changed the subject, the older man opened his mouth to talk. “I'll be safe and back before night time! I got the most responsable citizen with me.”
Safe to say after that, you two became even more inseparable than before. Korra got used to the city faster thanks to your tours and how you were always taking her out to hang out.
When the girl met her new friends, she made sure you were also included in the plans with them as she wanted you by her side in her avatar journey. It was only a matter of time for the whole group to be comfortable with each other and act as best friends within the other.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “How long have you been with Korra?” the engineer asked you one day while eating lunch, you looked at the named and then to Asami.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, pretty much since I can remember.” you nodded and Korra mirrored your action by your side.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That's so sweet... You two look so cute together.” the comment was followed by coughs coming from the avatar and you after choke on food and water at being caught off guard, everyone panicked and helped the two of you.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “N–No!” the exclamation came hoarsely. “We are just best friends!” Korra made the clarification while you took deep breaths in.
A part of you felt wrong the way she answered. Of course you two were best friends, but... why did your chest felt a pressure at that title?
'we are almost like sisters, we deserve a better title.' your logic thought, 'suppressed feelings just dilate themselves until you can't hide them anymore, that's when they explode.' your subconscious argued back.
You only were able to nod again, agreeing to what was said by the girl. The confusion didn’t make things weird after, thankfully, as it had happened before when you were beginning your teenage years and some people had began to question if you two were really just friends. Back then it was all laughs when you got that question, Korra would say no and you two would have brush it off.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I need to go,” you announced, Korra's hand stopped playing with your hair and her lips made a pout, you smiled at her sight. “I'm sorry, darling, I need to sleep early, we have this big project presentation tomorrow.”
A very exaggerated sigh left her mouth and she nodded. “Fine, let's go then...”
Walking by the hand, Korra and you arrived to your apartment not even thirty minutes after. Even at your door, the both of you stood there for a moment, talking about anything, trying to delay your farewell knowing you would see each other the next day.
That was the night you stayed up almost the whole time wondering, what made people believe you two were dating? It was true, you were inseparable and always next to each other, but all best friends do that, don't they? Why did it bother you so much when she said no? Your mind flooded with unanswered questions that only made your mind think a bunch of possibilities.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Wait... What? You want me to what?” furrowed eyebrows met Korra's gaze, she giggled, blushed.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Teach me how to kiss...” she repeated, her teeth bitting the inner part of her cheek. “I know you know how to, you have this face of I already had my first kiss and I didn’t tell my best friend about it.”
Your face felt hot from one moment to the other, you shook your head. “This isn't about me, why you want me to teach you how to kiss?”
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Because I haven't had my first kiss since I've been locked up all my childhood and part of my teenage years, you're literally the only person my age I knew for most of my life!” she started to present her case, your hands stopped making the dinner and your whole body turned to her. “And you're my best friend which means I trust you with my whole life. If there's someone I want for a first kiss it has to be you.”
You wouldn't lie, your heart was threatening with leaving your chest. Those sky colored eyes you adored to look at were having this adventurous gleam while her mouth was pouting, like trying to convince you into it; but you didn’t need convincing, it was Korra who we are talking about, you would lay your life for her.
Now on the couch, your hands were trembling in an almost imperceptible way while Korra felt excited to try a new experience.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Okay, let's... Uhm, first, let's try you coming at me.” you say, making yourself closer to the southerner, she nodded. “Don't do teeth, just... kiss me like you think you should.”
The avatar looked puzzled for a second, her left hand cupped your face and blue orbs looked at yours asking if she was doing good so far. You couldn't help but smile with calm, Korra felt more relaxed at your expression.
The first time your lips touched you could feel your heart jump with such devotion, even if it was a bit unsynchronized and you could feel how the girl was nervous by the way her lips felt on yours and how her free hand was shaking a little bit. Just when your lungs were asking for air did you pull away from the girl and she already had this impatient look on her.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “So?” she asked timidly, one of you hands took her free one and smiled.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's good, you're nervous, but it's good.” you answered, nodding, her eyes just got more demanding, you sighed. “Want me to guide you?”
Her head was so quick to nod that you got surprised at how you didn't have to finish the question to get an answer. You let go of her hand and guided yours to her waist to make her come closer, she did as told. Mentally you were praying to everything and everyone for calm, how would you see her to the face after all this? Was totally a problem for tomorrow.
You took the hand on your face and let it rest on your shoulder so now you could cup her face in your palm. Taking a deep breath in, your lips met hers again. Soft, fluffy, sweet, better than your imagination ever could present you.
At first, the kiss was still unsynchronized, but your hand on her face and your own lips took control softly over her. The action quickly turned to a sweet kiss, one Korra would remember and have her awake at night thinking about how good your lips tasted to her, asking why she wanted to try them again after.
At some point, the kiss turned the other way when the girl outlined your bottom lip making you sigh and her tongue took advantage, wanting to taste more of you. The avatar was moving to be on top of you, making her throat vibrate with short sounds and a second later, the two of you distanced yourselves. Big pupils met each other for a silent moment, both breathing irregularly.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That...” you began, blinking yourself into clear thoughts. “Okay, I have no experience on that type of kisses, I don’t know what to tell you.”
Even if you two laugh it off, the impulse of taking again the foreign lips into yours was strong that you both decided to stop and do another activity to block the loud thoughts that clearly weren't so friend friendly.
Another night of no sleep was met by you and Korra joined to it all the way at the air temple island, how were you going to act like nothing happened after that? Denial, definitely, that was how the two of you were acting like the next days. Still close, as if you couldn’t live without the other, but burying deep down the feelings such actions brought upon you two.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Okay,” Korra closed her doors behind her after making sure there wasn't any airbender kid roaming around to hear you talk. “Are we... We're good, right?”
You frowned at the question, confused. “What are you talking about? Of course we are.”
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, good.” she sighed, taking a seat beside you in the bed, her hand intertwined with yours. “I thought maybe the whole kiss situation may had make this awkward or something.”
With your heart racing miles per second, you managed to smile with calm and nod.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, yeah, so awkward I can't look at you to your face.” you said jokingly, she laughed. Your head looked to rest on her lap, making yourself comfortable in the mattress, Korra felt her heart skip a beat.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I mean, I'm sure I don't kiss that bad.” she followed, giggling. Letting go of your hand so she could leave caresses on your head by playing with your hair.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Do you want me to tell you the truth or to say what you want to hear?” now an offended sound came from her, a big laugh burst from your mouth. “I would need to try again to have a verdict.”
Your mouth was faster than your brain that by the time you finished the sentece, your eyes shot open to your own words. Korra, on her side, blinked surprised before smirking.
‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You wish,” she murmured, feeling anxious about the situation. “You don't deserve anything since apparently someone doesn't trust me enough to tell me about her first kiss.”
And the topic died right there, starting a new one telling the girl about your experience on kissing. Maybe it was for the best to not think about the kiss, there was a line neither of you wanted to cross out of fear of losing the friendship you two had. It was all you knew, Korra and you against anything and anyone, both knew if you talked about such feelings there would be a chance of it being the beginning of the end. Neither could bear letting the other go over anything, even if that meant burying deep down the feelings for the other just to keep the closeness you already were used to have.
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