#and i'm scared they're gonna read this

[notimminent]

of all the people that i have had the pleasure of knowing on this website, i just want you to know that you are one of the warmest, kindest, most welcoming and genuinely good people that i have known. you just feel safe and all of that is without taking into account how wonderful your writing is and how beautifully you portray emma — who herself is a literal bright spot in an otherwise really dark show. i just want you to know that every day, no matter what, you’re greatly appreciated and irreplaceable.

Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to read. I literally just had a major mood drop because I saw an old dual promo for someone I don't talk to anymore that used to be a big part of my life and I just felt sad because I was thinking how I used to write so much and had a base but also realize looking back how toxic it was. Which makes me sad, but also makes me feel like I’ve grown a lot. 

It’s hard to remember that I still have an impact here despite how long I’ve had this blog. I’ve been here for 8 years almost and so much has changed. I’ve changed. Emma has changed with me and is so important to me and I get so scared that I haven’t been able to show that and that I fall short so much. It’s hard to tell myself that I’m enough and so is Emma.

That was a lot of word jumble for me saying thank you, but thank you. Really, I really, really needed this. Having been here so long, most of my followers are blogs that haven’t been here for over 4+ years. The people I started this fandom with aren’t all the people I’m with now, which is sad but is life. It’s just hard sometimes to realize how much history I have here. I try to be a safe space for myself and others (despite all the angst I write). 

The feeling is mutual. I don’t know who you are but your message warmed my heart and made me smile. Know you’re irreplaceable too and that you are so, so important. 

All the love and hugs from Emma and I ❤️

[crownedwille]

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[serabellyms]

i hate that feeling when i'm writing w/ a new mutual or a mutual that I haven't written with much and don't know what's too long of a reply that's gonna scare them off

so ig this is my way of saying to the dash: if you're not intimidated by long replies sometimes PLEASE let me know directly bc this vibe literally results in me deleting and rewriting replies to people multiple times when the first few were probably just fine to send and i'm instead overthinking how much content i'm putting in it when that particular mutual would've just gone with the flow--

[sailor-aviator]

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[faethfigueroth]

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[daz4i]

man it's so depressing reading abt your own disorder and seeing stuff like "some doctors prefer not to diagnose or help people with this disorder due to patients' tendency to lie or manipulate others" do you not hear how fucked up you sound bestie. idk how to explain to you that you are not the victim or vulnerable party in this situation. and the fact the main rebuttal to this is often "that's not true about *all* patients!" or "they're not doing it on purpose!" instead of "hey 1 that's a very fucked up assumption that's barely based on anything 2 you are refusing help to people who are suffering because of said fucked up assumption. you are not even looking at them like people". like maybe the reason ppl with this disorder feel the need to lie is we don't feel safe telling the truth abt our situation bc we're scared doctors will kick us out or refuse treatment bc we're so "difficult" 🤨

[batmoniker]

Bestie: Yeah my boyfriend doesn't do fandom. He's pretty disconnected from nerdy stuff and social media

His boyfriend, messaging me directly about 911: I just think Buck and Eddie should be together!! It's killing me!! Why can't they be gay??

Me, finally replying at midnight: *sends seven tumblr links of gifsets and talks about fanfiction*

[cextra-loz]

Went outside to cover the squash. I briefly looked over to the neighbor's yard cause I saw something moving in my peripheral, and I in my horror, saw his wife in a bikini just gardening or tanning, I have no clue.

Anyway, i'm heading over rn and knocking on his door to apologize, i'm gonna bow and kiss his feet and beg for forgiveness and cry and ball until I pass out on his threshold because his wife was tanning, and I accidentally saw. Mb In other news I usually only stay like 5-15 minutes outside usually once a day but i've been doing it almost every day for a few weeks now and I have a visible tan line. My feet are marked like where I wear my sandals its so funny. Its barely visible but its a tan, and I haven't had a tan in like 5 years this is amazing! In other other news, i've been lifting a 5lb dumbbell for a few months and i'm seeing visible gains and i'm not even jokn. I don't lift, i've never lifted, but i'm getting stronger and my arms have been feeling bulkier (with little to no visible change) but I can literally feel it, its like my muscles are swolier, swollen, pumped idk?

For a while I thought I wouldn't be able to make progressive gains because of how ill my body is, but I guess my nervous and muscular system is still good enough to adapt and repair itself as long as I don't over do it.

I am at my peak age like physically, so i'm going to take this new understanding of my body to get back in shape somehow. I can't technically work out like how I did in college because of my weak ass heart and nervous system, but if I stay consistent for weeks or months at a time, I should see small but progressive gains. I just have no idea up until what point will my body adapt but extra strength and endurance surely helps. I've been hearing and reading online about the stories of the human body and how amazing it is. Like the body's ability to withstand incredible amounts of heat or cold or go hungry or repair itself or deal with illness, for short periods of time. I mean my body can't do any of those things but knowing those stories gives me the courage to push myself just a little more because I know my body can probably just take a little bit more. Safely of course but still it's just something I've been thinking about recently.

Now I just have to somehow work on lower body. It's a little difficult because I can't stand for that long, and when I do stand and walk around to get food or water I do not want to be tired or shaking, but i'll figure something out.

If I get buff in the next 12 months i'll let y'all know.

I have to figure out how to do more cardio. I've been trying to keep my heart rate up for more than a minute at a time but I just get so so tired and I never want to do it more than twice because i'll just be out of it for the rest of the day I just can't yet i'm still too like weak- but I think if I do the same thing with my heart as i'm doing with the 5lb dumbbells I should see cardio improvement over time. I'm really excited to work out my heart! Just like, a little bit at a time. That part of me probably just heals with time ig idk.

[lovelaceisntdead]

YELLOWJACKETS S3 LET'S GOOOOO

[randomcanbian]

I'm watching Taskmaster backwards (GF got me to watch S14 live and I just ended up watching it reverse chronologically) and this is my tier list so far

[hylianengineer]

November is coming Comfortember is coming you’re all about to be spammed with random little things I wrote. Prepare yourselves.

[mrnnki]

I wanna condense to a single blog so badly but I have so much stuff across all of my blogs that It Would Not Go Well

[softgothbabe]

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[yoshifawful64]

god my mom's calls are somehow getting even longer

[neverendingford]

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[windkonig]

when people say "ok but x bug has no benefit to nature" I bet they can't even name 5 facts about the bug they're shitting on. so how could they Possibly know what its function is in the environment and if it's "useless" or not

wasps being the perfect example, I still get people saying "oh bees are cute and pollinate :) yay. but WASPS ARE EVIL and they don't contribute ANYTHING!!!" and it's like buddy. wasps pollinate too. they also control spider populations. they do a lot of great valuable things. but even if they didn't, they're still worthy of being here. I see SO much hatred toward wasps and I wish people would try to learn a little more about them.

I'm mainly talking about paper wasps here because these are common ones we run into in daily life and most commonly deemed "aggressive". but wasps have body language. and if you learn to read this language and learn how to properly act around them, things will go a lot better for you! wasps can be curious creatures and they may come up to observe you, especially if you're wearing something brightly colored. this can be startling for sure, but my best advice is to just be still, DO NOT SWAT or wave your arms. try to just back away or sidestep so it loses interest and leaves. swatting is just gonna make them feel as if they are being attacked and increase your chances of being stung.

many stings happen due to unfortunate but accidental circumstances. unknowingly getting too close to a nest, stepping on a wasp on accident, one getting stuck in clothing, etc. I got stung once while gardening, went to pull a weed and the wasp was on it, so I grabbed her without knowing and she stung me because she was scared. this doesn't mean "oh wasps are AGGRESSIVE and EVIL" it means you stumbled into an unfortunate situation where the wasps felt threatened and defensive. instead of being like "FUCK all wasps" go forward trying to learn about common nesting areas, be wary of holes in the ground, wear gloves while gardening, and if you do have to be around a nest, try not to make a lot of noise. if the nest absolutely needs removed, call a professional.