#and i'm reuploading the stuff i still have saved

[carveredlunds]

"An eager black hole."

[reshinless]

❝ 𝐜𝐮𝐳 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 ❞ hsr x reader 𓆩 𓇼 𓆪

pairings. dan heng, caelus, sampo, welt yang, gepard, blade, jing yuan, luocha x gn!reader

a/n: i miss getting silly little reuqests like this . send me requests guys (if u snet a req b4 its not in the swag askbox anym sighhh), reupload from old blog!!

warnings:oh no SEX AND NSFW AAAHHH, breeding kink caelus, jing yuan, and blade, bc yes!!. kinda bdsm w blade, praise kink w jing yuan, degrading kink w blade, kinda sadist sampo, belly bulge 👍👍, fingering BUT NOT IMPLIED FEM READER 🤬🤬

dan heng is more than happy to be yours, legally, and to be the man to put a ring on your finger. has waited his whole life for this moment, to see you walk down the aisle and everything. and nothing more than finally carrying you in his arms to the bedroom of your newly built house. but having your hands pinned to the bedframe, as his cock is so brutally penetrating your hole, and he can't help but praise you for being such a good pet and taking all of him in you. the endless thrusts you felt that kept coming, and your hole so easy to work himself in and out from all the cum from the rounds that happened hours ago, it felt so endless in your mind, but dan heng couldn't help but indulge himself into you, because you're finally his, and he's finally yours. more under the cut.

caelus thought he was foreign to this kind of stuff, like no one would ever would love him like that back. but he's here now, and you are too. picks you up bridal style on the way up stairs, ripping your wedding dress off. (not rly, just takes it off you, but lets just say he did) all he wants is to literally fill your precious hole up with his seed :(( can't help but go another round, because his stamina was just too much for you to handle, but all it did was turn him on more! the way his cock made such a cute mark on your tummy.. he couldn't help but cum at the sight of how your poor hole will remember the shape of his cock, and his alone.

sampo..? i'm surprised someone actually married him, anyways! kind of rough with it honestly, still type of guy to just ravage himself in you. taking his sweet time, especially when you were so close.<3 your expression, and the way you were just whimpering, and begging for him to just harshly thrust into you to finish it up. all he could say was "i wanna make this night extra memorable for you, and me~!", wants to be begging for his cock to just shoot his warm seed into you already.

welt yang.. all i gotta say is that he's overjoyed, over the moon that he got married to someone as amazing, stunning, to be his world, his everything, the person he'd start a family with. but before all of that, ever since you both started your relationship, he promised himself, that on the night of your marriage, that's when he'd give you the time of your life. a time where you'll always remember. remember the way his huge cock would just be so rough with you aa, just wants you to get every drop of his cum till your belly bulge that he put inside you is so full of his seed, or that your hole will always remember the shape of his dick muahahahshhdkfjvi

gepard my man! already planned it out, knows exactly how the night will go, maybe.. but whatever happens tonight will be according to a plan. probably saved his virginity for this moment, he.. he's tried reading about it, just lets the night go as it is... i guess.. but dear god he really did not hold back, as soon as you gave the go sin that he could go as rough as he wanted, bro wouldn't hesitate AT ALL. just wants to see you so full of his cum it hurts mfmfjfjfjfn. he's jerked off to this moment before too, and the way you just take all of him in, he loves ot so muchh! will breed you like crazy, no joke, even if you're a guy, bro will say he's gonna get you pregnant. anyways, he'll be soft and gentle w u in bed if you want, but if u ever say to go faster, good luck in that wheelchair next day ‼️‼️

blade?!? getting married?!? damn!! very rough, lowkey forgets about you when he's at his climax. but he didn't really plan for it, just let the night play out. oh i have to say this but silver wolf is the flowergirl, kafka is maid of honor, and nanook walks him down the aile. anyways, bro doesn't hesitate to just absolutely breed you, be honest cause i know this man wants kids. and you will have them, don't give a fuck if you a man, he will breed yo ass. licks up the excess seed that didn't, or couldn't fit in your hole that was already so full of his seed. thank you 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥‼️

jing yuan!! oo he is probably the same as gepard, will plan it out, but probably won't go to plan at all. and probably has read smutty books too, just in case. and wow that really helped because just as long as you ask bro to go faster, he will non stop breed you 'till you have like 3 generations of heirs for him. jokes aside, but he would breed you so bad. just needs to see your hole so full of him that it's too much, and won't fit anymore! probably makes you sit on his face once or thrice after all those rounds of pounding you too ;3

luocha.. hmm, if you think about it really hard, lowkey dislikes the idea of sex at the wedding night, but we do not think about it really hard, he does it anyway!! he is the type to know all your spots, all the right places to make you cream on his cock over and over again, cuz bro is a doctor. and would finger you like crazy while making out before the actual intimacy. bro is so careful with you like you are as fragile as glass. his kink is just your whole body. everything about you, your curves, your thighs, your neck, he wants everything, and thats why he'd do it on the wedding night of his!!!

for america i say for AMERICA!!!! (i dont live in the us anym)

🌼﹐✦﹒︿﹕TAGLiST: @skyl8ver @yamssxv @eve--011 @stygianoir @zomballs @roseclues @mystariouss @pryllee Sign up for my taglist and get updated for all my newest works!: CLICK HERE

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

laughter like honey dribbles ◦ l.f

-an inexperienced Felix tries to impress you by forcing his voice deeper. What do you do when it cracks mid-through?

Paring◦ Lee Felix x Fem!Reader

Words◦ 1123

Genre ◦ The fluffiest smut you'll ever read, awkward sexual situations, realistic sex where life isn't all butterflies, orgasms, and rainbows.

Warnings ◦ Reader is described as having a vagina, laughter during sex, Felix being a big baby, embarrassment (what's new), ruined orgasm ig? Ngl i feel like half of this is just a bunch of me yapping and terrible punctuation (if you find any errors PLEASE let me know, thank you).

A/N ◦ This was the very first thing I've ever posted on my tumblr literally ever and so I'm going to be reuploading all of my stuff back onto this account 😃 so why not start off here

~CookieCreates🍪

You can feel him all around you, chest to chest, skin to skin, heart to heart. Your bodies melded together flawlessly, as though you were molded to fit into each other's arms, and, well, each others…

He pumps in and out of you ruthlessly, perfectly tipping you closer and closer to the edge.

“Please,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his rutting hips, wanting him closer, harder, deeper,

Fuck.

“What do you want, baby?” He slams his hips harder into yours, prodding all the perfect places. You choke, a rush of pleasure vibrating through your bones. “Use your words.” He pants, nibbling on the soft skin of your neck, his voice deep and low, the seductive sultry tilt sends shivers up your spine and tingles to your core. 

“Say something, anything, your voice drives me crazy,” you whine, throwing your head back in bliss. A shrill moan rips from the back of your throat as you feel your orgasm quickly approaching, electric hands reaching out to you. You brush the tips of its fingers; trailing rings of fire seem to be tickling your skin, raging beneath your bones. 

So close.

So close.

So close.

You reach, all you need is,

“Good girl.” Felix doesn't know why he did it, forced his voice lower, deeper. At the time when ecstasy was rushing through his veins, it didn't seem like such a bad idea, until he went so deep it cracked.

He wants nothing more than for the earth to crack open and swallow him whole.

He stops.

You stop.

The world stops for a moment, and all you can see are his big, brown eyes blown wide with shock. The room is completely silent; the only thing being heard is the rough pounding of your hearts and the hard blinking of your eyes which seems like all you guys are able to do. You stay like that forever. Watching. Waiting. For one of you to take one for the team and cut through the growing tension in the room. You curl your lips into your teeth, breaking the awkward stand-off on whose either going to laugh their ass off or pretend that nothing happened and continue to fuck, but with your orgasm long forgotten and the previous raging heat of the room now dwindling to nothing more than a few flickering embers, the laughter that bubbles up in your throat is beginning to be too hard to contain.

Heat floods his cheeks as he blinks, still in this weird form of fight or flight mode. His muscles tense beneath your traveling fingertips, overcome with the humiliation that burns through his chest, and figuring no matter how much he's praying for the earth to swallow him up, Mother Nature is not coming to save him, so he shoves his face into the crook of your neck, hiding from your amused stare instead. 

“Baby,” you chuckle softly, sympathetically, the sound reminding him somewhat of delicate strings of honey that float through the air. Even with the regret coursing through his veins, the sound sticks to parts of his brain that only you are allowed to occupy, so basically, all of it.

He could sum up his life with you in one simple sentence: cotton candy kisses and laughter like honey dribbles. He groans, digging his face deeper into the soft skin of your neck, the same neck that's littered with the love bites he bestowed not even moments earlier.

Oh, how the world changes. 

You can't help the spree of giggles that spill from your mouth.

“Can you come out now, please?”

"No, I'm good. I think I'm going to live here, die here, eat here, sleep here. You might as well get comfortable, baby, cause I'm staying here for the rest of my life!” He says erratically, digging his face deeper into your skin.

“My dramatic baby,” you coo, running your fingers through his hair, still damp with sweat. Time seems to trickle by as soft bouts of breathing fill the air. The heat of his cheeks burns into your neck as you attempt to coddle him out of the embarrassed home he's made in your body.

"S'embarrassing,” he mumbles, voice muddled by the depth in which he has burrowed into your flesh.

“What was that, baby? I couldn't hear you from the home you've made in my neck.” You tease, a playful smirk dancing on your lips. He lifts his head, shooting you an equally playful but unamused glare. You have to push back the laughter that threatens to leave your lips as you take in his red cheeks and shy eyes. He looks so adorable and yet so sexy at the same time. You don't know if you want to jump his bones or bake him a batch of cookies. The best part is that you know you're going to be able to do both. You lift your eyebrows, sending him a look that states, "You have to admit that really was funny," which he reciprocates with a bashful smile, not quite meeting your eyes, giving you a look back that states, "I know it was funny, but right now I'm too embarrassed to say that currently."

That's what you loved about your relationship with Felix—you didn't always have to communicate with words. Your hearts did the talking for you.

“Come on,” you giggle, “you have to admit it was kind of funny.” He rolls his eyes, a wide smile creeping onto his face. "Yeah, I guess it was kind of funny.” 

You snicker, “Thank God, cause the laughter wasn't going to hold itself in for very long.” 

"Ugg, I hate you.” His words were as soft as silk, holding not even a centimeter of malice. He buries himself back into the permanent place he's made his home. 

“But I love you.” You whisper, your lips grazing the crown of his head, soft hairs tickling your chin.

You loved Felix, and he loved you, and even though the mood was ruined and hope for an orgasm was gone, you wouldn't trade it for the world. How could you when he was exactly that. Your world. 

“Okay, as much as I hate to say this, you can't live inside of me forever; my pH levels have to be screaming right now.”

When you were a girl and the coughs started coming, your mother used to give you honey in a spoon and a tickle to the stomach, telling you that laughter was the best medicine, but mixed with the slick amber liquid, your laughter would always sound like honey dribbles, the perfect cure, but with Felix, you never had to worry about being sick because laughter was all the two of you ever spoke.

©CookieCreates (posted: June, 2nd 2024) All rights reserved. Do not translate, copy, or claim my works as yours! I only post on this platform so if any of my works are elsewhere, report and notify me immediately.

[hoodoowoman]

5 sins of ts3 CC-creators...

I started my annual revision of CC for my lepacy save, and I just want to rant about CC... But before that THANK YOU TO ALL ACTIVE TS3 CC CREATORS, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU ARE DOING, THIS IS JUST TO GIVE US ALL (ME INCLUDED) SOME IDEAS REGARDING IMPROVEMENTS WE CAN MAKE. 1. No polycount in post. As a gamer who experienced huge in game lags because I was using thousands of 3454981345976134856786 poly stuff now I consider what to put in my game more carefully. It takes a lot of time to check every item I've downloaded in bulk (usually it's more than 300 items at once) whether it's ok or no for my game (I'm using up to 15k hair and up to 10k other stuff) and would be great if all had a habit to put polys in infobox about their cc. Would save a huge amount of time, really. You can check it in s3pe, tsrw or blender. 2. No custom thumb. I understand, we all are lazy at times, and not all of us pro photographers, BUT it really helps to identify CC and author (if all thumbs have something in common) if there is something you want to get rid of. It takes literally 5 mins to do a custom thumb. 3. Not making unisex stuff actually unisex. Come on, guys, it's a 21st century. Males deserve more love in ts3. And don't get me started about other ages… Basically, that's why I started converting, because I CRAVE more unisex and uniage CC. 4. Not checking suitable categories for your stuff. Loafers in athletic or sleepwear? That gorgeous hair is perfect for the official outfit, but it's nowhere to be found in that category. And my favourite — high heels for swimwear, so your sims could swim with style👠! For a ccholic like me with f.e. 1000+ items only in “Hair” folder, it sounds like a nightmare to click EVERY item and check categories. I'll do it anyway (cause ts3 has me in a chokehold T.T) but I mean........ 5. Not making recolorable preset. Unlike TS4, TS3 has beautiful colour wheel! Non-recolorable presets might be good, but what truly gives you freedom is to recolour it however you'd like. Please, please, PLEASE make at least one recolorable preset for your stuff. I'm begging you on my knees 🧎‍♀️ You can revisit your old CC to make it better, you can reupload the file on SFS, and it will still have the same link. Let's make ts3 cc better. It deserves it. You can add anything else you want to be improved in the comments section, yeah...

[ennyxy]

Did another belated thingie, tho I made it super silly this time xD I picked throne for day 2 and this one's bg is very simplified and sketchy but still took a bit. I'll include what drove me to do this under the cut, as well as just a couple hyper thoughts on WAD xD Also ye am reuploading this real fast cuz I'm a dummy, good thing I had a draft saved.

Oh also I totally forgot about the crack on King's skull when I posted this to Twitter but too late haha.

This just made me think of s1 ep12 I couldn't help

ANYWAY I watched the finale and like, I loved it,and I may have been spoiled by the fandom cuz I felt a lack of moments between the kiddos and just Collector in the time-skip (he's there in spirit but still), n like many I'll just headcanon that Colly came back after a lil or they at least visit lots and eventually he'll settle there and he and King are besties n the usual, and like did you see that lil star sticker-bandaid thing King had where the crack on his skull is? Ye that was totes from Colly for sure you can't change my mind. Lemme dream I need these two to cope rn :") I feel like my life's been overtaken wish there were more fics to read

I rambled sorry ewhdfberv I'm just trying to comprehend stuff cuz I loved all the Collector screentime and development and stuff but so much of my brain's been dedicated to the kiddos lately that I think I've been spoiled by all the fan content

[storagebay29]

james somerton 'apology' video transcript

Note: for those who do not want to watch it. For those who do, here's a link to a reupload as the original has since been deleted. There are a lot of a pauses and 'um's/'uh's, the latter of which are largely ommitted from the below transcript. Posted under a readmore as it's pretty long.

I'm sorry for taking so long to make this video, or to say anything. I'm in the hospital- I've been in the hospital for a little over a week. I tried- Fuck. I tried to do something really stupid... (pause) I'm only here now because before I did it, I called my dad to talk to him one more time and, he figured out something was wrong, called paramedics or 911 or… and they got here and I woke up in the hospital and, yeah.

…

Anyway, I'm not trying to make this a sob story, I'm just trying to explain why I've been so quiet. I had a friend from back home checking my emails and stuff, and yeah.

…

But anyway… I wanna say that I'm really really sorry, really really sorry... for the stuff in the videos, the not crediting people, and for a lot of videos, you know I, I did the opening titles thing, and I tried to put like ‘this is based on X's- this person's research, or on this person's book,’ but I know now that wasn't enough, that wasn't okay. And then there were a lot of times... that uh...  oh god. There were a lot of times that stuff just got put in and there was no attempt at crediting anybody (pause) and I'm really really sorry.

And I'm not, I'm not sorry that I got caught, I'm sorry for ever doing it, I didn't- I honestly honestly... didn't realise that I was hurting people... And now that I know that I was hurting people… I'm just really sorry.

I lost my best friend because of this. Nick and I have been best friends since 2011 or [20]12? We'd been friends online and then. He lived in Ottawa, I moved to Ottawa so we could be, like, friends in person, and then we moved back to- I moved back to Nova Scotia, and Nick came with me. We eventually moved to the Toronto area where we lived together for 7 years? 8 years? We lived together for a really long time… and… he hasn't spoken to me since this happened.

Sorry, sorry I said I wasn't gonna make this a sob sorry. I should’ve got some Kleenex.

Then again I'm really really really sorry for the things I did in the videos: copying people's work and not crediting them properly or at all. I also wanna apologise for the misinformation and just outright lies that ended up in the videos? I didn't- I honestly say that I never intended for any of that stuff to be in the videos, most cases I didn't write it but I should’ve, you know it was my face on the channel, my name on the channel, I should have been, I should have been more diligent about fact checking and stuff. ‘Cause there was a lot of really stupid shit in there. It would’ve- it's just so easy to check, I just never did, I just took it for granted…

I also, I wanna thank Hbomberguy and his team for setting up the fund to make some money available for the authors that were wronged and the journalists and writers and…

I wanna help somehow, I don't know how, a lot of- I've seen a lot of people online saying how much money I apparently make and they’re way overestimating. Beyond the fact that Nick and I split everything 50/50, they're still way overestimating how much money came in… And the Toronto area is expensive, so there's not really any kind of savings, I'm moving home really soon… ‘Cause without Nick there's nothing for me here, and like I said it's really expensive…

And so I wanna say I wanna thank them for setting up that fund, and I wanna help somehow. The only thing I can think of right now is to make the videos, most of the videos public again and every month I can send the ad revenue from all of the past videos- ‘cause there were plenty that didn't have any, any uncredited stuff in them... But I can make them public again, and then every month I can send the AdSense to- either I can send it to Hbomberguy's team, that they can add to the fund, or I can start a fund myself? And every month I can publicly say how much money was made on the AdSense and show it. And send that to the writers and stuff every month. I don't know... what the system for that would be? But I would be more than happy to do that

You know some of the videos like the ‘Killing Stalking’ video brought in like a pretty decent amount of money every month so that would be helpful I think/to them. I'll also put in either the description or the pinned comment the names of the authors so that anyone watching the video knows where all of the information came from, that it wasn’t me going out doing journalism- I never thought that anyone thought that I was doing journalism and stuff, and I don't think anyone did. For the people who actually were doing it should have been given the credit they deserve, they did the hard work, all I did was edit a video. They did the hard work and they- they deserved the credit

(cut) Sorry about that, phone stopped recording.

But- yes. They deserved- they deserved credit, and… when it was something... when it was something like the, the recent... ‘history of hollywood’ videos, right there in the opening credits, I put the Vito Russo's name, that it was adapted from his book ‘The Celluloid Closet’. Same thing went for the gay panic video and the gay holocaust video, they were- the holocaust video was adapted from two books, and the gay panic video was adapted from a lot of journalism, and I- I put their names right at the beginning of the videos.

But and- I understand that's not how citation works... now. I understand that, I get it. And I wanna do better. And I know a lot of people hate me now, ‘cause I did bad shit. But I wanna try and do better. At some point I’d like to make videos again. I'd like to do videos that are fully sourced, where I will put a link to the script where you can find all the sources so that everyone is properly given the credit that they deserve, any the kind of research that's done, credit for any b roll that's used whether it's stock footage, or movies or TV shows or video games, or anything like that, have it all in there. I would like to become a really really good example of giving proper credit to writers and journalists

And I know a lot of you watching this aren't- aren't really gonna care, you'd rather I just disappear. But I would like to try to do better.

I never ever intended to hurt anybody. I never thought that that's what I was doing. Before I went- before I went to the hospital, I read a lot of stuff from people who were really hurt, not just authors and stuff but people who watched my videos who were hurt by stuff in them. People think that I hate ace people and women and bisexual people and lesbians and that's not true. It's really- it's just- it’s not true. And I’m sorry that stuff made it into videos that just shouldn’t have been there: misinformation and lies... But I promise you I did not write that stuff.

I should have been a lot more exacting when Nick and I would be editing scripts but I promise you that those are not- I don't think those things. I specifically want to apologise to asexual people who feel that I just completed delegitimised you. Nick being ace, I- I know that it's kinda like you know, no two gay people are exactly the same, no two ace people are exactly the same, but I kind of, when it came to that I just kind of ran with Nick's judgement and his observations and stuff like that. And I’m not trying to throw Nick under the bus, which a bunch of people are saying that I was setting him up as doing, which is not true…

This whole thing, Nick and I were 50/50 partners, it wasn't I hired him to have a scapegoat or something like that. I never hired Nick. Nick and I were roommates for years before I started doing Youtube videos and then they started- people started watching them and I asked Nick if he wanted to help me write them and he said yes and we started splitting the- first the AdSense and then the Patreon and then the sponsorships, we just split everything. Nick was never supposed to be a fall guy.

I'm sorry. Maybe I should have waited longer to do this. But yeah, I- the- I did not- I don’t think those things and I don't think Nick does either, I think it was just how fast we were writing stuff, and how fast we were putting videos out, it was just too fast. And we weren’t putting the care into them that needed to be put into them.

I've seen a lot of people on social media and other youtubers even lying about me, but other- other- Hbomberguy was not one of them, I just wanna be clear about that, except I was never setting Nick up to be a fall guy and. It was never a grift or anything like that. I swear it was not. It is not.

In the next couple of days, I'm gonna send out a message to the Telos supporters on Indiegogo and explain the whole situation in more detail to them because we were not super clear about everything that was going on with Telos and so I can- I understand if it seems like we weren't doing anything but we were. We were doing a lot of work on Telos. We just weren’t talking about it is because we- we made that initial first announcement for ‘final girl’ and that fell through and I'll explain that to the message I send out to the supporters which I'm sure will end up on reddit or somewhere… And after that we didn't- we didn't want to talk about it too much until we had something really concrete, and I will explain all of that in that message

Telos was and is not a grift. I was never gonna take the money and run. None of the money that came in for telos was ever going to be paying me or Nick. It was going to be paying queer actors and artists, musicians, things like that. And I know there's been lots of talk about budgets and all this stuff, and people saying that I'm really stupid for thinking a movie could be made for that little money, but there are examples of it being done, and I actually do have a work ethic.

Anyway. but yeah. anyway

I do want to keep making videos and I know a lot of you won't watch them and that's- that's fine. But I really liked making videos…

We ended up making a lot of videos we didn't wanna make because people were asking for them, and so there were a lot of videos that we made that we didn't wanna make, and I think those videos are very clear on which ones those were. One of them never got officially released. It was released to patrons, some patrons have shared it to other people before all the videos went private. A lot of people hate the analysis that Nick and I did on it but. And so maybe it's good that that never got properly released, because… maybe it would have hurt people. And I don't want that.

But I do wanna make videos again sometime. I'd love to do like retrospectives on important gay movies. If you watch the channel ‘Be Kind Rewind’ they're an amazing channel that do a lot of retrospectives on older Hollywood movies and I would love to do that for gay movies. A lot of gay movies, people my age and younger have never heard of, things like ‘Torch Song Trilogy’ and ‘Longtime Companion’, and stuff like that, movies from the seventies and eighties and the nineties, things that were like really influential for gay cinema that no one talks about. And you know, I'd like to talk about not just those movies but how they got made and stuff like that. I would love to do something like that.

I swear on my mother's grave that there will be no copying people, no copying pasting. Every source will be cited in a document and on screen. ‘Cause I usually liked doing the research. I loved doing research - reading the books and articles and stuff like that. I- the part of me that was lazy was the copy and paste part. Instead of just putting it into my words and citing them properly and giving them credit… that's where the laziness came in. That was- I wasn't trying to be malicious. That was just laziness. And I promise for anyone who does watch the videos that I make going forward… I promise that will never happen again. I welcome the highest level of scrutiny on the new videos.

…

As for Patreon, I’m going to reactivate it. Because I saw a lot of people on social media saying that I was probably going to reactivate it right on January 1st so that everyone could get a surprise billing and I could take the money and run. And, no. First of all that was never my plan and I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna reactivate it now so that anyone who wants to leave - which I imagine will be the vast majority - can leave and not have to worry about being billed again in January.

… Yeah. So. In closing. I'm again incredibly sorry... And again I'm not sorry because I was caught, I honestly didn't know how much I was hurting people… and how much harm I was bringing to the community, because that's not ever what I intended. I wanted the channel to be a safe place. I spent so much time deleting comments that were hateful

I recently found out that I wasn't being notified about- that I wasn’t seeing comments that were in replies to other comments so there were plenty of hateful comments in the comment section that were plenty hateful that I wasn’t seeing, and I didn't know that. But I wanted the channel to be a safe place and it ended up not being a safe place.

And for the misinformation, that kind of falls into two categories. 1. I did the wrong research in the historical things and other things they're not what I wrote.

Again, thank you to Hbomberguy and his team for making the fund for the writers. I'd like to try to contribute to that somehow so- if- if it's okay to make the videos public and send all of the- public and send all- it won't be all of videos ‘cause some of them had to be taken down because sponsors wanted them taken down, but I can put the videos back up with the sources properly put in either- for the I guess for the videos that would be going up from zero, I could actually put in sources for the videos, which would be good.

I guess I could- For the other ones that would just be made live again, I could put them in a pinned comment. ‘Cause I think people read pinned comments more than they read the descriptions, cause like the descriptions disappear in a lot of places. Something like that. Something so that I can try and- it won't make up for what I did but just. Something.

So I’m really really really sorry. I hurt a lot of people that I really respect and that really sucks. And.  Nick if you're watching this I know you're probably not but I miss you and…

Yeah I want to do better. I want- I want to do better. I want to prove that I can do better. I don't expect anyone to just give me the benefit of the doubt. But I want to show that I can do better, so I hope you'll let me do that.

Again, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that the things I did- I'm sorry that I disappointed you. I promise going forward I will do better.

Thanks for watching, and...

…

And I’m really sorry.

[bluegekk0]

⇾ PINNED POST ⇽

Hi! You can call me Gekko. I make art, primarily for my Hollow Knight AU, named Feral PK AU, but you'll also find occasional dragon/dinosaur art or maybe even fanart from other media. I also reblog posts from various other things, so it can get a bit chaotic.

That being said, the AU is the main focus of this blog. It is a slice of life AU for my favorite characters which mostly takes place in Dirtmouth, though over time it also evolved into a personal worldbuilding and character driven project.

Just a heads up, it does stray quite a bit from the canon and many popular fanon interpretations, so please approach with an open mind! If you have any questions, check the FAQ below first and don't be afraid to send me asks about it!

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Other places to find me:

» twitter // 🔞

» bluesky

» ko-fi

Art tag: #gekko.art

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╚══AU LORE PAGE (WIP)══╝

╚══AU SHORT SUMMARY══╝

AU RELATED TAGS:

#feral pk au - the main AU tag, contains all related art, posts and ask responses

#modern fpk au - tag for the modern spin-off of the AU; same as above

#dragon fpk au - tag for the dragon spin-off of the AU

#au designs - tag for all the AU character design sheets and other related posts

#au character bios - similarly to above, this tag includes written down descriptions for the AU characters

#au worldbuilding - tag for all posts/ask responses related to the general AU worldbuilding headcanons

#au character posts - for separate text posts about the AU characters

#save - this is how I tag AU related posts which I find to be worth reading for a better understanding of the characters, or anything else I want to easily access in the future

#ask stuff - tag for all ask responses. If you only want those related to the AU, I recommend browsing through the main AU tag instead

#art guide - tag for any art tips and guides that I posted

CHARACTER TAGS: #vyrm / #fpk ● #grimm / #nkg ● #lewk ● #asta ● #milo ● #hornet ● #holly ● #zote ● #white lady ● #brumm ● #divine ● #bretta ● #lurien ● #ogrim ● #cornifer ● #iselda ● #elderbug ● #jiji ● #jinn ● #mato ● #quirrel ● #lemm ● #tiso ● #radiance

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(disclaimers about the blog and the AU below)

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DISCLAIMERS:

» Please do not reupload my art anywhere. I'm okay with people using it as their icons/banners, but please remember to credit me.

» Since this is a primarily AU related blog, anything I say about the characters is from a headcanon lens. A lot of my headcanons are quite different from the most popular fanon interpretations, so please be aware of that before you respond, especially in regards to fandom jokes and character hate.

» A large chunk of my drawings and posts features the ship Pale Nightmare, so if you dislike it I would not recommend following my blog. It's the only ship I'm invested in, and while I avoid ship discourse, there are some that I find uncomfortable, particularly those between the characters that I consider family within the AU (Grimm/Hornet and Grimm/Hollow being the primary ones).

» Although I might occasionally touch upon topics that are in the suggestive or sexual territory in regards to some characters, this blog is otherwise still meant to be SFW. I will not be posting any explicit artwork, and I try to keep the suggestive topics tasteful. If you are interested in my NSFW art, do not ask me about it here, instead head over to my Twitter private alt. I try my best to keep the two places separate.

» Additionally, some of my art includes blood and very mild gore, though I try to tag it whenever there's excessive amounts of it in the artwork (I use the tags #blood and #gore). There may also be very occasional mentions/depictions of pregnancy, please block the tags #pregnancy (for art) and #pregnancy mention (for text posts) if you would prefer not to see it/read about it. Please let me know if there are any other things that you would like me to tag!

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AU RELATED DISCLAIMERS/FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

» The AU takes place after the Embrace the Void ending, and so The Knight/Ghost is not present. Here is a post detailing what happened to them (and the other shade siblings in the Abyss).

» Feral PK's name in the AU is Vyrm (an alternate spelling of Wyrm that he uses as his name), though I occasionally refer to him as FPK. Also, I headcanon him as gay (demi-gay to be more precise). At the current point in the AU he and The White Lady are separated.

» As you probably noticed, most of my designs stray very far from insect-like interpretations. That is very much intentional. In the AU, I see "bug" as a general term for "people", not an implication that they are all insects. While some characters do have more insect-like anatomy, there are others which possess reptilian, mammalian or even plant-like traits. I go a little more in detail on how I see that term in this post. So while I'm not bothered by people referring to for example, Grimm or Vyrm as insects, keep in mind that this is not how I personally view them.

» Additionally, I see the characters as much larger than real life insects. As a reference point, Vyrm is similar in height to a raccoon standing on two legs. For this reason, most of the characters have skeletal structures to support larger body mass. There are some exceptions, notably characters such as Unn.

» Please keep in mind that the AU originated as something I found comfort in, and it remains that way. There may be inconsistencies, I might retcon things on the go, and some things may simply not be well written. I also have no plans to turn it into a fanfic or a comic.

» I'm always open to answer questions about the AU and the characters! So if you have any, please don't be afraid to send me an ask, I absolutely love responding to them. 💖

» I am currently working on a WorldAnvil page for a more detailed, wiki-like AU info, link at the top of the post!

[philsmeatylegss]

Hiii I just saw a post Abt the v day video and how it's fucked up and such and I was just wondering why? I found it a few years ago but it was just kinda cute tbh what's wrong with it? Lmao I'm definitely a newer phan, I only started really following their stuff in like 2017 so I don't know too much about early dnp lol

Oh fuck I’m old

I think it’s safe enough to finally talk publicly about it.

Basically the vday video was a video Phil made for Dan for Valentine’s Day. He uploaded it privately onto his YouTube channel which Dan had the password to so Dan could see it. At this time, Dan was on vacation (pretty sure in India) and he wouldn’t have been able to see a video of that quality just through text or email. Shitty luck, the same time he privately uploaded it, infamous YouTube glitch happened where all private videos became public. And one of the videos that went public was the v day video.

There’s a lot of jokes about Dan in 2012, but it’s actually really depressing. Dan wasn’t out yet and he had a fuck ton of trauma surrounding his sexuality. 2012 is when dnp started blowing up enough to where they became part of popular early YouTube so people saved the v day video when it was uploaded.

They’ve only addressed it a few times in which they said it was an April Fool’s prank, which obviously doesn’t make sense, but what were they supposed to say? According to legend, people would keep reuploading the video and Phil would spend hours taking them down one by one and it would say “AmazingPhil took down this video for copyrite.”

It was a catalyst to just a really shitty period for dnp. All aggressively heterosexual clips from Dan’s liveshows are my 2012. “FYI I like vagina” is 2012. People were contacting his 14 year old brother to ask about him and Phil. That alone is both fucked up to drag a kid into this, but remember that Dan still wasn’t out to his family. It was probably so fucking terrifying when his YouTube life, especially regarding his sexuality and relationship, clashed with his family life for the first time.

There’s a noticeable difference between their relationship in videos from 2009-2011 and 2012-2015. And it is most likely because dnp blew up pretty big in 2012 and started going from making YouTube videos for fun to doing it as a job with the added pressure of millions watching. And the catalyst, or at least metaphorical catalyst, from the switch between being openly touchy feely giggles to strict, five feet apart mates is considered to be the vday vid.

It was a big problem in the phandom since it was leaked to around 2017ish. A lot of people were circulating it and word was that they were still being taken down years later, implying that Phil was still searching for the video years later.

The phandom used to be primarily 12-16 year olds. And when you’re that age, speaking from experience, you don’t understand the complexities of the situation and just kinda thought “teeheehee phan is real XD.” When in reality, it was a very sensitive and serious thing that wasn’t meant to ever be seen by the public. It’s literally where the cherry lube and kissing at the Manchester Eye reference is from.

Rightfully so, the video became more and more taboo to mention and most people caught on that it was a shitty thing to upload or share it. It used to be really taboo and affectionately was often referred to as “the video that shall not be named.”

It honestly has a backstory that is so story-like that it seems unreal. So much had to happen for it to be leaked and the impact it had on them was so large it’s like a black hole in phandom history.

It’s possible not all of this is accurate, this is just the basic lore of it. So while I don’t think the internet police will drag you to prison for saying you watched the vday video, this is the context behind it. Do with it what you will.

Spending your entire preteen, teen, and now 20s as a phannie will fry your brain in unimaginable ways. I knew this off the top of my head😭

[a-bombyx-mori]

poking around on spotify earlier and saw that ghost hit 1 mil monthly listeners,,, holy shit!! and their work has been a constant in my life for about 7 years now holy fuck.

gets me thinking about their impact and stuff. still have mixed emotions about everything because they sure did get good and bad attention while they were online. it's gotta be satisfying to see so many people enjoy your art and music and for them to even pay for it. then there's all the problems that come with any fanbase or online presence in general. and I've been here a while so here's just a few things that stand out to me about. everything? things I've thought about a bit?

(this became a long reflection ramble thing whoops.)

I've never really had other songs or writing at all describe the weird mental shit I've been through. yep, it's probably dumb, but ghost and pals songs helped me identity my problems. they became a source of catharsis when I was in fucking middle school and still are to this day. hell, evolve was the first thing that got me thinking I had been in a horrible relationship (along with twisted love ofc). aoapp was a reflection of my anxious attachment for a long time. I wouldn't have been able to make personal progress the past few years without analyzing songs too much.

and don't get me started on their drawings,, their artstyle has always been so charming in its own way. for a long time I tried to emulate their techniques so I could be an artist too. AND THEIR PV EDITING?? mgnghfh full course meal. I still set stills as backgrounds every so often. the fucking colorbars picture was my email background for years until google decided to stop loading it sometime last year.

I still admire them so much.

but there's also things they did that feel off. like I'll never get over how the new chattering was supposed to be a joke. you can't go and make a polished banger showing off your improvement and then say "yeah lol I only did this cause my friend joked about doing it so I said bet." or smth along those lines. (ghost said they remade it cause creep-p joked about it. in a tweet I think? gotta find it.) at that point, it also becomes a slight against your fans. you can't act like everything you make is (essentially) worthless without unintentionally shaming those who enjoy it. it's like that one mirror reflection picture thing.

the whole deletion of specific songs/most of their old discography is also it's own complex beast. ideally, an artist should be in control of when their art is displayed, but you give up that agency when using the internet. hell, there's mirrors of my old Instagram pages, and I'm nowhere near ghost's notoriety. thats the nature of the internet. shit is saved and copied and reuploaded all the time. the only way you can prevent that is by not uploading it at all or going through copyright law/terms of use/etc.

when I first started listening to ghost, they had their old work in an unlisted playlist. cool. then another channel I believe? then later on there was no official way of getting them so ofc people reuploaded them. was that the best thing to do? nope. but people enjoy their old songs and wanted access to them. and not everyone has a local back-up of music cause they're afraid it'll become inaccessible lost media.

them deleting most of their music vids is similar. this happened around like 2018ish? people started reuploading their current songs because. guess what. they weren't officially avaliable. people were thanking translators and such who had the pvs on their channel because they had access to it again. I believe something like this happened a second time but I don't remember for sure.

THIS DOESN'T EXCUSE ANY OF THE PATREON LEAKS BTW. those were paywalled benefits so that's a fundamental breach of privacy (and site rules, I'm p sure).

also less serious thing but they set up a premiere at the end of 2019 for a new song or whatever and it turned out to be a fucking joke too. just like a dr phil picture or smth. only upset at that cause back then I'd get the biggest fucking adrenaline rush whenever they were about to release something. then again I was also depressed as hell so that's an old me problem imo.

there's probably other drama or whatever I'm completely forgetting about, but probably for the better. in the end it's all about the art we're here for in the first place, and the artist behind it. I hope they're doing well after detaching from social media.

uh. long essay thing over now. I think

[bbygirl-aemond]

@maegor_the_cool on tiktok word-for-word stole your post about queen alysanne and is passing it off as their own in the comments on their most recent video. when i asked them about it, they claimed they didn't know it was yours and they got it from a forum, which doesn't really make it okay that they pretended it was their own words, and now they're claiming you gave them permission but i highly doubt it. just thought i'd let you know.

Oh, lovely! No, this person has never contacted me, I just looked through my entire inbox to make sure. I went and checked out the video and yep they literally took it verbatim. For reference y'all, here is the original post, which you can see I made on 2/28/2023. The TikTok creator got it from this post, which you can see was made on 3/7/2023, over a week after I made my original post. The forum poster is also passing off my content as their own in the comments on that thread. And here are screenshots from the TikTok posted 14 hours ago, since they turned sharing off:

...So I guess this is time to remind everyone that if you repost my stuff without my knowledge and without crediting me, you are doing so without my permission and I do not support it. I've said yes to 100% of the people who've asked me permission, so I don't understand why this seems to be a recurring issue. Also, a 1-minute Google search for this post would have turned up my blog, so it's not like this person couldn't find me because it was too hard. They just didn't check their source before using it. It's a shame, because I checked out the comments and we both 100% agree on the subject matter.

Here's a handy little guide to how to responsibly and respectfully repost my content:

Send me an ask with information about where to find the repost (usually platform + username will do). I'll say yes, but just please ask me so I know it's out there.

Credit me VISIBLY in the post. Please don't hide it somewhere, make it front and center the way an artist does with their watermark. In fact, putting my Tumblr URL in as a watermark is a super easy way to do this!

If you come across my content but you don't know it's me, but you for sure know it's not YOURS, maybe don't pretend it's yours? And maybe spend 1-2 minutes copying and pasting it into Google, which will lead you right to my blog.

If the content has been posted in multiple places, it's still really easy to find the original. Check the dates the posts were made and use the earliest post when crediting. For example, in this instance, the forum post was made a week after mine, which proves mine to be the original. Again, it only takes 1-2 minutes to check this using Google.

I really would prefer for them to delete the video and reupload it with proper credit, especially since it's been up for only 14 hours. There's a link here that explains how you can do this while saving the video so you don't have to re-format everything. I'd also prefer for the forum poster to acknowledge that they stole my content. But this is the Internet, so while I can ask for people to be honest and respectful about my content I unfortunately can't enforce it. :(

Edit: The TikTok creator reached out to me and they've re-uploaded the video with credit, which I appreciate! And they did get consent from the forum poster, just unfortunately that poster had stolen it from me. It's still not great that they didn't check their source, and that they didn't even credit the forum user at first. It's a good practice to copy and paste something into Google to check that you do indeed have the original source before reposting.

The forum user has now added a line to credit me at the top of his post. I'm still pissed at him for trying to get away with passing my words off as his own though. At least the TikTok creator asked the forum user first, but the forum user just stole my words without even asking me. What a man moment, to steal the credit for a woman's ideas 😒

[i-really-like-phrogs]

I think someone has said this before, or maybe it was something else i'm remembering wrong, but I saw your art on Pinterest, I credited you in the comments but I thought i'd still let you know,, https://www.pinterest.com/pin/908671662427706587/ <- the link if you wanted to see it

Thank you for letting me know, and thank you for leaving me credit! That’s really upsetting to know that someone uploaded one of my images without asking… I’ll have to do a little better putting watermarks on.

At the very least, I was happy to see that some people liked it and saved it to their boards. This happened with some of my older Betty pieces as well, and all I could do was just comment my credits and save it on my own board.

I can’t control what others do with my work— I will ask that my stuff is not reuploaded, but otherwise I’ll see if I can find some clever ways to insert my handle. :)

[otomiyaa]

Questions & Answers

Hi hi, finally some time to write this! Due to recent events I've been getting some questions from various people and I also have some questions for you guys so I'll try to do this in 1 post 😸

My answers:

Are you really not planning to write fics anymore?

That's the plan *nodnod*, but you know me. There's always a 'but' and a clown mask ready in my storage to put on if I happen to go against my own words. But the intention is to stop posting fics here, I'm too tired of it now lol. I might post a fic or two on AO3 once in a while, maybe write a collab with Mia if I feel like it. It's just... how do I say it.. my motivation to write more fics basically got washed down the drain together with blog #1. Let us see for how long that motivation swims in the sewers...

Can you reupload [fic name]?

If it's on my AO3, I won't. If it's not, hmm.... I probably also won't. But! It depends on the fic. Always feel free to ask, but please don't get angry when I say no! ^^ For now I have an exception: commissions. More about this down below in my question to you guys.

Why won't you try to get your old blog back?

It would require filing an objection against the copyright claims against me with all the legal risks, submitting my personal info from home address to name, and consenting to USA legal law stuffs bluhblahblah... :") For me too much of a hassle. I don't think my blog is worth it. Even if I don't know the exact details, I'm sure they're not wrong. Whether it's fair or not, most fandom stuff has copyright issues in the end, so I can't protest against the claims with 100% certainty it won't get me in real trouble. More info about this soon in another post!

My questions:

👇 only for those interested, feel free to comment, send ask or DM if you have can help :)

Do you have reblogs of my old posts?

To everyone who has some posts left on their blog that were mine, whether it's a headcanon, fic (still accessible one, so not a broken 'keep reading'- link), manga or anime scene, ask game, gif set or translation, if it's not too much trouble could you maybe comment on that post and @ me? Or... send me a link or smth in DM? Doesn't need to be every single trivial post. Maybe just the ones you liked most, or something... idk. I just might want to re-share a couple of posts here and it's so hard finding reblogs of my anonface-blog through search functions and stuff. Any help will be greatly appreciated!

P.S. I also found a lot of old posts, or posts that I liked (such as tickle art etc.) in the archives of @ticklygiggles, @ticklishdreams, @infrequent-creator - I hope you guys won't mind me making use of this (also thank you for the awesome support through the years afihs;ogojjoihgjn)!

Did you have a commission that was on my blog and do you prefer if this is reposted or not?

Some people 'bought' fics back when I had a shady kofi shop running and those fics were posted both on my AO3 and Tumblr (+ were sent in PDF format if requested). No matter how much you paid for the fic, part of the deal was that it would be posted on Tumblr so if by any chance you lost a commissioned fic and wish for me to repost this here on the new blog, please let me know...:3

Anything else? 👀

Well... With the loss of my account there were more things that went lost than just my fics, such as asks that were still in my inbox, DMs, personal stories and more. I did not back up anything and have zero overview and my memory is shit. If I am forgetting something, if you once sent me something and it's now gone (and you still have it), or if there's anything else I am missing smh, please let me know.

However please note that I am not planning to turn this blog into a copy of my previous one. If you submitted a fic to my old blog, I won't repost it here sadly (I hope you saved it). But if you posted an irl tickle story (I'll still accept these), a headcanon for your fav character or pairing or something else, I'll gladly accept it even if it's a copy of what you once sent to my old blog! With that said, I'll go back to finishing that second-to-last tickletober fic of mine... after I eat dinner. muhahah.

[tbznewberry]

hii! i just opened wp after like 1-2 years and noticed your works weren't there anymore, ive read most of them but i still remember the first one i read i think it wall dollhouse 😭but yes i hope youre doing well and i really really really miss ur fics they were the only reason i opened wp again HAHAH, if u ever reupload/unarchive them or release new stuff id prolly love to read it. anyway i js wanted to thank you and ask you how you were doing 💗💗

lol yeah i removed them 11 months ago :,)

I really liked writing on wattpad and the community i had there, but i felt that I had grown apart from writing fanfictions. I had been on the app for five years, from 13 to 18, and everytime I wrote on the fanfics, it felt like I could no longer create characters out of the members. It felt like I was hyper aware somehow. I have most of the stuff saved, but although I probably won't publish them again, I have taken multiple of them and turned them into "real" stories.

I don't know if you remember a story called "he wants them dead" where the boyz were experiment guinea pigs during ww2 and one of them started to kill the others, but I have now been working on it for soon 4 years (3 of which have been as a "real" story) and that one will hopefully be my debut novel! I have also turned "heroes and villains" into a real story and will hopefully rewrite it this summer and have started to turn "the hotel" into a real story. The fanfics will probably find their way back to you somehow, but probably in another format!<3

I'm doing well! I'm about to graduate high school and probably start university, my birthday is just a few days away and I'm going to the country side tomorrow, so I think that things are looking good! I hope that you are doing well too<3

[sapphire-weapon]

what about your meta posts if you have to make a new blog? do you have them saved to reupload, or?

All of my stuff is still accessible to me and will stay accessible to me.

I won't re-upload any of it, but I'll reblog it all onto the new blog if I have to.

But, again, I don't think it'll come to that. I'm sure tumblr support will take one look at this dumpster fire and be like "Well none of the content is good, but it's not in violation."

[youthinkofacoolname]

Hi there! You know how a few weeks back you explained how to add CC to The Sims 4? Yeah, that kinda ruined my life I'm obessed now help was super helpful and surprisingly easy! You're totally right that it makes the game so much better.

I was wondering if you can share some of your fave ones, or if you know websites that have particularly good content to add. I found some great stuff here on tumblr but hey, why not ask for some recs? ✨

Hey! I'm so glad I was able to drag you into my addiction help! Here's some mods that I think are essential for my game that you might like too! (putting it under a read more for convienence to all those uninterested)

^Vicky has a ton of great mods but the ones that change traits, such as 100 base game traits and More CAS traits, plus Better CAS Randomization are literal game changers and I can no longer play without them

^Another great modder but especially for "My x" stuff, that stuff adds realism (like a better memory system) but also small visual details, like a blush when flirty or eyebags when exhausted. They're small details but I personally like it when my sim's eyes get teary when they're sad

^If you're planning on decorating your house at all (although you don't have to cause there are some gorgeous houses on mod sites and the gallery) this is a must. Idk why EA decided that mirrors can't be moved up and down but it's dumb move

^This one is great for adding more realism for weddings. It gives you options such as "Shop for ring" "Sign prenup" and "Shop for dresses". Now they don't really do anything (the mod will send your engaged sim and their partner off the lot for a while and they come back with a mood buff) but I think it adds a nice touch for story telling purposes and is probably the most fun part of planning a wedding

^LittleMsSam is another modder who is absolutely great, these are a bunch of her smaller mods,. There's a ton of them and not all of them might not be needed but I reccomend looking through them because there are some that are life changers (like famous sims gain followers automatically, which makes staying famous way easier)

^This is the most important mod on my list. I don't know if it bothers you as much as it bothers me but I hate it when I tell my sim to go to another room (whether to use the bathroom or check on their baby) and they pause to sniff the the air or to point out a mess, this mod basically makes it so that they do those things while still walking to save time. As much as I love all these mods, this one is probably the best

^This one is really good if you're planning on adding toddlers to your family because it gives you more items that can level up their skills (which can be really hard, esp without a wabbit tablet/their parents are busy)

^Me personally I prefer the method of moving NPCs into my house and then killing them when it comes to making money but if you prefer to make money the conventional way this mod adds more jobs your sims can do

https://twitter.com/PandaSamaSims4

I've decided I'm just gonna reccomended Pandasama because they also make a ton of really great mods

~~I'm gonna reblog with some of my favorite occult mods because I'm running out of space~~

[akuma-homura]

64

oh fuck yes akuma kourin made it on here too

I desperately want to make a V3 cover of this song, but uh. I do not have the range to get near a lot of the notes for this song, and since it's so distorted, using a vocal remover to rip the vocals for a midi doesn't work either.

eyelash flutter at anyone who might be able to have have a better time doing midis so i can do the cover,,,,? >KICKED

also i'm gonna ramble about this song because... i have a history with it

but also I have a history with this song. Like. Okay, first off, fun fact, it-- or at least the video?? was apparently an april fools project! Like I'm pretty sure at least the video for it was definitely >lets push its dark and ~disturbing~ nature for the giggles-- some parts making this obvious tbh.

But as a kid like, I didn't know this. It struck a chord in me in actually horrifying me. Plus like, admittedly, I was still in my deeply christian raised mindset too, despite some of my likes, so seeing something translating to Devil Ascends or whatever, seeing a pic of baphomet, seeing KAITO on the cross was like. Felt very blasphemous and scared me in that way too wheezes

but I was also. deeply fascinated with it. like it genuinely piqued 14 y/o me's interest despite being scared of it. (this also isn't surprising, my interest and love for KAITO literally started from me actually being creeped out by Yandere KAITO stuff but... being fascinated. Then RP's started, and that sealed it.)

so eventually I, a 14 year old who only knew english despite living in an area and family where I should have also learned Spanish too but it didn't catch with me, wanted to translate it myself to see what the fuck was going on in the song.

Of course, I didn't know Japanese at all. I didn't know how the language worked at all, I didn't even know how sentence structure or word structures worked for it.

But what I did have?

.....2009 era online machine translators.

You can imagine the quality that was spit out by them.

I used multiple of them though, not just Google-- I don't remember the names now, but. I basically translated lines with what was at least 4 different machine translators, also cross referenced some kanji and words with... fuck, was it wikipedia at the time? other google sites? I don't remember, and like. Wrote down my best understanding of the combination thereof.

again. you can imagine the quality of the translation.

BUT. it did at least give me SOMEWHAT of an idea of what was going on in the song... somewhat. Honestly I still felt a bit confused, but there was the general gist of

>...possible demon possession? Demon possession from computer....??? mental breakdown. Trying not to hurt a loved one bc of it I guess???? are they fucking crucifying him. oh he's hoping for god to save him in the final days or something

Honestly. It's one of the 'founding' songs in my head for Proto(the KAITO muse that eventually became 'mansionKai' with retwrites which bacame Kai / Kadin), among other certain yandere KAITO songs.

...because that's the thing, it's also a yandere KAITO song! So that's also some context to think of it in!

I always hoped someone else would see the song and want to do a Proper translation of it, but like... that never happened. Over a decade passed and I never saw a proper, good english translation for it. It's a shame, honestly.

Nowadays, with machine translations, Google Translate has actually notably improved-- and we have the likes of DeepL, too-- but. That doesn't always take into account of context, and other little intricacies when it comes to language and lyrics and such.

And like, I have a cleaned up DeepL translation on the reupload for the song now-- and it IS better than the one I put on it with annotations over a decade ago. But...

It definitely feels like >man. I need someone who actually knows the language and could see things I'm definitely missing to give this song a proper english translation.

(also, I admit, I also sometimes have a hard time grasping even just. how things are said in english sometimes, and what could be better said in english, and such things, so like, that doesn't help)

Anyhow, I do legitimately like the song. The fear of it has obviously passed, and finding out it was an april fools project kind of also has me like >haha. wow. i sure Experienced over what was a joke.

but hey, that's just how art is, I guess.

Honestly, with the DeepL translation, I do feel it still fits as a founding song for Proto, hahaha.