#and i'm about to punch him in the fucking nuts for what he's done to me

[m00nz-writes]

so i fucked up royally today. my laptop is completely fucked for the time being as i accidentally broke the screen like the moron i truly am, so all projects are currently on hiatus until i can either get the secondary laptop i have running and unlocked, or i can get my primary laptop fixed. basically; i'm beyond fucked right now.

[shaisuki]

“satoru, no.”

“but”

“no.”

stepping back and making a distance from your boyfriend who is close to inhaling your cheek like a black hole. the white haired man whines, his hair deflating with a pout in his face like he was a child denied with candy in a store.

“satoru, behave. you're in the presence of your students and mine. set a good example for them.” you scolded him. glancing at the students who where at the school grounds waiting for the schedules to be brought up. flipping the papers clipped in the clipboard to check their activities for the incoming battle royale and training regimes.

“i love when you're strict (y/n)-chan~” he sing-sang. his face bright and there's a comical blush visible in his cheeks and in the background it looks like someone set up a green screen for the flowers and what looks like glitter sparkling in the background.

you sigh. satoru couldn't act like at his age but you love that side of him but sometimes it made you want to cry from how he distracts you in front of the students. their image of you turning into a less serious one due to satoru's antics and get often teased about it.

the first years stared at you two. they think you were so fed up with their teacher's antics that you were so close at beating up his ass which is true. a little. but yes.

“(y/n)-sensei and gojo-sensei are really going at it.” yuuji mused. staring in awe at his two teachers, two polar opposites. “keh, i'll pay good money to watch (y/n)-sensei punch gojo-sensei.” nobara added. the brunette waiting for some action to happen and she's going to be blessed.

you thought satoru would be done with his antics but no. you were wrong. the moment you dropped your guard down came the rikugan and limitless holder snaking his arms to your soft middle immediately. pressing you against his back and before you could squirm his other hand cupping your soft jaw to meet his lips. his soft, pink lips parted slightly before opening fully and engulfing your cheek in one massive bite.

chomp!

you let out a silent gasp before biting your lower lip to muffle the sound threatening to spill from your lips. “mmm....” gojo hums. a satisfying noise of contentment in his part while he nibbles your supple cheek like it was the softest mochi he ever tasted.

your mind generating a thousand ways to beat gojo and how to forget this had ever happened in front of people, your students nonetheless. such a inappropriate sight for the youngsters to see. you didn't dare to meet their gazes.

the first years, a disgusted look mixed with pity as they watch you get the worst kind of pda anyone can experience. kissing they can take it but sucking on someone's cheek — it's weird.

“thank you for the meal.” he says as he completely detaches his lips from your cheek. his hold on you loosening. a big smile in his face after the nibbles and sucking your cheek. you look at him in disbelief. your cheek covered in his saliva.

“eugh.” you grimaced. wiping your cheek with the back of your palm. “i'm done with you.” he heard you say and he dramatically reached out to you. pinching your cheeks and you slapped it away. “you're not.” he reasons out. “i'm serious.” you deadpan at him. “you're (y/n). not serious.” unfucking believable. he pouts at you and your fist met his shoulder. bypassing his infinity and followed by a kick. oops. your eyes widens as he dropped in the ground.

“that hurts!” itadori exclaims. biting his fist and as a man he knows how painful it was to be kicked in the nuts. not that he experienced it.

nobara's eyes twinkles. fists pumping in the air. deserved. it's funny how the strongest sorcerer alive — the holder of six eyes and limitless is on his knees. clutching his part where you kicked him.

“oh fuck, satoru. i didn't mean to.” you immediately comfort him. rubbing his shoulder to ease the pain. it didn't help with the pain but you felt guilty about it. you didn't mean to kick him in that part.

“are you taking back the "i'm done with you part"?” he asks you and you nodded. not giving the question about the thought. “yeah. i'm sorry.” you murmur. “kiss me.” he requested in which you complied. pressing a kiss to his forehead. even he's like this — you love him.

it was too late before you realize he was faking it. he started giggling and you roll your eyes at him. falling for his antics again. “i can't believe you!” you stand up, huffing. picking up the clipboard and gojo is quick to call you. “(y/n), it's true. it really hurts.” he says. wincing a bit and you gave him a side eye.

“next time, it's going to be real and i'm doing it hard.” you warned him and gojo just laugh at you. draping his arms around you. “you love me though.” unfortunately, it's true. you can't deny that.

the trio stared at you two. it looks like they'll be having second thoughts if they're given a shot in having a relationship. hopefully, it's not weird as their teachers.

[lunar-wandering]

things about the Boboiboy series that drive me NUTS (this list is written solely from memory)

the fact that the first three elements, Wind, Earth, and Lightning, didn't really start out as having different personality's from Boboiboy himself (at least, not by much/it wasn't extremely noticable) but then, Lightning, after being split for too long, losing his memories completely, and achieving tier 2, becoming Thunderstorm, suddenly goes all Edgy(TM). and then Wind eats a mood-changing potion and goes manic, and not only does that unlock his tier 2, making him Cyclone but that becomes his personality. like. hello??? the implications.... and then later on, Fire, Water, Leaf, and Light manifest WITH their personalities pre-set. what??? the vague implication that the elements are sentient and the personalities started becoming more obvious when Boboiboy's mind started slipping/letting them have freer reign haunts me every day.

speaking of Fire's manifestation. he initially manifested from the stress of exams and walked around accidentally burning shit down in the middle of the night. what a mood tbh.

if the elements are sentient, the implications of Retak'ka stealing them from Boboiboy and using them- without having his personality change, is INSANE. like bro. he used them as a weapon instead of letting them be actual people..... and then later on in the comics Thunderstorm gets taken away AGAIN and is trapped in a sword, a literal weapon, and is used. again. HELLO????

both of the first times Thunderstorm gets summoned (both the obvious first time and the first time after they all got reset to tier 1 due to Complications) involving his phobia kills me every time why the FUCK did they do that. they didn't even address it the second time around but they animated Lightning looking like he was in distress anyways. WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO HIM. i know he's the fave but like. was this necessary.

BOBOIBOY JUST DECIDING "Y'KNOW WHAT??? I'M GONNA INVENT FUSIONS NOW HERE WE GO" IN THE SECOND MOVIE AND PROCEEDING TO ABSOLUTELY WIPE THE FLOOR WITH RETAK'KA

i could list so much Thunderstorm stuff tbh he's definitely the fave they give him so many cool bits of animation. he does the "teleports behind you" move SO OFTEN and it's SO GOOD

Leaf's deadpan "Fashion Tragedy" line

that one time Boboiboy split into Fire, Wind, and Leaf, and EVERYONE agreed he shouldn't have done that and should never do it again cause those three have negative braincells when in a group together

the songs??? like. the opening songs. the insert songs used in the movies. the OST. why the hell are they so good. i mean i know i personally like em cause they tend to use rock. but like. its SO GOOD.

Yaya and Ying being arguably the two most powerful/capable members of the friend group as they should

that one time Thunderstorm and Fang fought and they paused right before hitting each other and the objects behind both of them exploded from the force of the other's attack

in the first movie when it hinted that we'd see Boboiboy without his hat for the first time ever throughout the entire movie and then it FINALLY HAPPENED when he caught a giant hammer right before it could hit him and punched the dude away with a blast of energy. he has a white streak in his hair and it's visible in the series from this point onwards.

I KNOW IVE SAID A LOT OF THUNDERSTORM SCENES BUT THAT POINT IN GALAXY WHERE HE WAS USING TIER 2 BEFORE HE SHOULD'VE BEEN USING IT AND HE KEPT SWAPPING IN BETWEEN BOBOIBOY AND THUNDERSTORM THROUGHOUT THE FIGHT??? THAT WAS COOL AS FUCK I LOVED THAT

i could list so many of the really cool shots from this series tbh. that one time Light slow-mo backflipped over a bunch of debris and then activated laser eyes to shoot at the villain is a highlight.

literally everything about the fact the plot of this show went from "aliens come to earth to steal chocolate" to "boboiboy nearly fucking dies on an almost daily basis"

[aerodaltonimperial]

oh katy. you know my idiot ass is sending a prompt every time u put out the bat signal. so perhaps some godawful cheesy food for thought:

darby caught between ospreay and jack in the bed! maybe they’re cuddling, maybe bickering, maybe a bit of both. darby’s just trying to sleep. so maybe he finds a way to appease them, a very “ladies, ladies, you’re both beautiful” type of thing. LMFAO

(SKATEGOAT ASSASSIN??? 💚🖤🪶 the fuck am I supposed to use for emojis for this)

"—absolutely need to move the fuck over, so—"

"I need to move over? No, you need to move over, you are hogging all the fucking—"

"Bruv, I swear, I will shove you into the bedside table, and I will not feel—"

"Big talker, aren't you, but when it all comes down, you won't—"

Darby spits toothpaste into the sink basin. He splashes his face with water and runs his fingers across the strands of his hair, and they're still going at it when he's done, staring at himself in the mirror. Okay.

He clicks the light off and heads back out, standing at the base of the bed. Then he jerks his finger back and forth between them a few times. "Move."

They obediently part, though neither looks particularly happy about it. Whatever. Darby crawls up to the pillows from the bottom and deposits his weight, with little care, into the center space created. He sighs, closing his eyes.

"Turn the light off," Jack says.

"Mate, stop telling me what to do, or I'm gonna—"

"You're gonna what? It's on your fucking side, oh my god."

Darby groans. "Stop. I'm gonna punch you both."

"Not my fault he's such a douchebag," Jack snips, though he does wiggle down into the blankets a little, and Darby suspects that's a win. Enough, anyway.

"I'm a douchebag," Will laughs. "Right. I'm not the one who's decided the whole place is in some kinda conspiracy against me to—"

"Punching," Darby cuts him off. "My fist. Some part of you that will hurt."

Finally, the room descends into silence. This bed is narrow as shit for three people, and every time Darby moves his feet, his toes slide against someone's calf. But it's fine. Warm, but fine. Darby closes his eyes.

"Okay, but why is he here?" Jack asks.

Darby groans. "Jack. Fuck you, sincerely."

"You're the one who invited him," Will points out, which isn't the point and also isn't helping this barbed situation at all. "Bruv, seriously, who invites their ex into this? Bloody shit show."

"Not his ex after tonight, am I?" Jack fires back.

"With your personality, you should always be an ex," Will grumbles, kind of under his breath as he rearranges his limbs.

Darby is never gonna fucking sleep. This is the dumbest situation he's ever thrown himself into, and he's counting Sting’s retirement match with the glass pane. "I'm gonna go sleep in the bus."

"It's 20 degrees outside," Jack says, sounding aghast, so Darby must have sounded serious enough. "It's fucking freezing."

"Then shut the fuck up," Darby tells him, "and i won't have to freeze my fucking nuts off."

A pause. Then Will says, "I'd really prefer you keep your bollocks, mate, gonna be honest here."

"Yeah, you are really sensitive when we—"

Darby smacks Jack in the face, gets a little yelp for it. "God. Literally the worst."

Blissfully, the room grows still. The heating unit against the wall hums, a steady vibration in the darkness. Darby’s starting to nod off when fingers brush across the bottom curve of his ribs, like Jack's searching in the shadows for a place to settle them. And then, from the other side, Will's hand does the same. Their digits tangle together, intertwining against Darby’s bare skin.

Darby smiles up at the ceiling, hoping the dark hides the expression well enough. "Night, then."

[cmdrfupa]

i. Not Today

Toji x Reader

Working alone was always the rule. No one to slow you down when you had to run and no one for him to save when shit hit the fan. That's until the best in the game were needed together.

Former Mercenary/Hitman Toji Fushiguro only wants to make enough to disappear in the next year as the job is no longer worth the risk. You’ve found a way to just enjoy the thrill of the con as a professional grifter and former mafia fixer. Now forced to find out just how deep the world of art dealings goes as your next mark is far more twisted than you realized.

an: I wish I could tell you that I'll stop thinking about Toji but we know that’ll never happen. I've been revisiting games and media lately where the lead is some former army man with little to lose and I saw our dark-haired dilf immediately. Something felt right about it and here we are! A JJK AU where some of our faves will make an appearance.

CW for the series: adult themes, use of alcohol and drugs, sexual undertones, violence, full blown mature themes. Will be updated as necessary.

Dividers from the lovely @/saradika-graphics

Shiu made the mistake of scheduling Toji’s meeting at the same time as yours. He says your meeting was the mistake but let's be real. 

The only thing you wanted to do was avoid the smug bastard in the hallway. Which worked til now.

“Kong. I know I owe you, but this can't be what you're cashing in on.” the up and down you gave Toji made him grin.

“Ouch, princess. What if I'm the man you've been waiting for?”

“Then I’ll off myself and try again in my next reincarnation. Kong.” you looked back over to your already stressed friend of over a decade.

“Sorry kid. I need the best and both of you are my best. It won’t hurt to play nice.”  Shiu opened a fresh pack of cigarettes, effortlessly shaking one out and putting it in his mouth. 

Toji grabbed the lighter, igniting the flame for Shiu. “If you’re worried about your safety, you’re safe with me, doll face. It’s only for one night.” 

Bewildered was an understatement as Shiu shook his head, “A month.” 

“No can do, Shi. A month is fucking nuts.” 

You smiled, sitting on Shiu’s desk as Toji paced to the window. “Worried I won’t be able to protect you, Prince Charming? You're safe with me.” 

If the daggers in his eyes had their way, you would’ve felt them pierce your chest. “You’re cute but don’t push me.”

“Is someone getting angys?”

“Angys? Are you a child?”

“No, but I can beat your ass like a grown man.”

Grabbing the largest book on his desk, Shiu slammed it down with little effort. “Fucks sake, shut up. The both of you.” 

You swiftly jumped off his desk, shifting your attention back to the cigarette hanging from his lips, Toji came and stood beside you. It began to feel like a disciplinary meeting with the headmaster. 

“Look. It's a month-long job minimum. Per diem with an 800,000 payout at the end. They need a charmer and a fucking beast to retrieve some goods and get intel so you two need to work as a couple to get this done. Either you both take it, or it's off the table and you won't have shit to do for the next 3 months.”

“800 split?” you questioned.

“No. Per person.” 

800,000 would give you a more than comfy cushion to sit on for maybe a month. Then you'd get tired of the cushion and beg Shiu for something to keep you busy. There was never an end to the thrill of scamming the ultra-rich and occasionally watching the life drain from a few. 

“I will not be your babysitter during this. You're a grown-ass woman and I refuse to have a brat slow me down. Understood?”

He was so pretty in the off-white cable-knit sweater that swallowed him but that mouth was going to have you punching his throat in a matter of minutes. 

“I'm willing to do the job as long as your chained puppy can treat me like an adult. I can handle myself.” 

“Already the first steps towards being a loving couple. You're gonna be fine, kids.” Shiu stepped between you two, smiling as if he were a proud parent. He squeezed your shoulders. “Everything you need will be sent over in 2 hours. I have the twins working on your background stories and covers. You leave at the end of the week.”

Strength. Resilience. Mindfulness. Breathe.

“Why don't we get matching shirts so they know that you're mine? Sound good, sweetie?" The vibrato in the pet name gave your resolve a run for its money. Fortunately, the smug look on his face once you looked at him dried you back up. 

“Yeah! I think ‘I’m with dumbass’ would look cute in bubble letters on a baby tee, no?” 

The flight was more than perfect. Business class with every accommodation known to man thanks to Shiu knowing you would never do anything less. You settled into the second half of your flight preparing to get a little rest before landing. 

“Toji? Can you wake me when they come around with dining options?” you lowered the partition to find Toji intently reading a home improvement magazine.

“Just tell me what you want and I’ll order so I can wake you when it's here.”

“I don't know what they'll be serving. Just wake me—”

“There's an International and Japanese cuisine menu. Either beef filet steak with a red wine sauce and a side autumn plate or pasta gratin with chum salmon & black truffles with roasted pumpkin.” finally looking up from the magazine, his deadpan gaze met your face. “The Japanese cuisine has Wagyu curry with eggplant and mitsuba and sansho peppers or grilled black cod, a crab omelet with grilled shiitake and taro. What sounds good.” 

Taken aback, you bat your lashes trying to digest this robotic answer to your request.

“Did you not hear me?” 

“I did. You just.. Did you study the menu or something.” you rolled the partition down completely, studying the expressionless man. 

“It rolled across the screen earlier and I took a mental note of it. So, can you tell me so I can tell the cute attendant when I call for her to come back? She's a busy woman.” 

A sigh so deep you felt your nervous system reboot as you rolled your eyes. 

“Tell your girlfriend I’d like the grilled black cod meal please.”

“Will do. I'll try to get you an extra omelet for being such a supportive wife as I date around. Thank you, sweetheart.” Toji winked and rolled up the partition with a grin like a Cheshire cat spread across his mug. “Sweet dreams.” 

“You’ve gotta hurry up, doll face. The race starts in 30 minutes and the driver is pulling up any minute now. Let's go” Toji yelled through the hall as he made his way to your room in the villa. His loafers lightly clacked along the polished granite floors as he walked into your room. “You don't need a whole canister of paint for makeup. Just put some blush on and let's get moving.” 

“Can’t rush perfection, Fushiguro. And I'm just putting on my earrings. Relax.” you popped your head from the bathroom and raised your brows. “Wow. You clean up nicely. I thought you could only wear those tight-ass Uniqlo t-shirts.” 

A crisp, light blue button-down that could only do so much to hide his muscular build, and a pair of deep indigo chino pants to round off the fit. “Funny. Now can you please come on? We’re on a time crunch and I don't want to be around those old rotting money bags for longer than necessary.” 

Rolling your eyes as you went back to looking in the mirror one more time, you walked out to the bedroom. “Alright. Let's go.” 

Toji didn't have to say anything when his eyes did the talking for him. “You gotta wear shit like this more often. I'll be more open to actually listening to your words if you do.” 

You grimaced as you walked past him to the front door. “Please stop talking.” You smiled as you walked out, the driver holding the car door open as you gave him a warm thank you before sliding in.

Toji got in behind you, getting strapped in as you did. When given the clear, the driver pulled off. 

 “Doll face.”

“What, Toji.”

“Being married to you is fun. Best open relationship ever.”

Toji winked before going through his phone, going over the files one more time.

  “God. If you exist, please turn this shit over right now,” you whined as the car whirled down the road.

The sun hangs high over Monza’s glittering skyline, casting a golden sheen over the harbor and its rows of yachts. The thunderous roar of F1 engines echoed through the streets, as sleek cars zip past. The race is in full swing, but the real spectacle isn't on the track—it's in the VIP section.

The third row to the left of the podium sat your target: KK. 

Notorious organized crime affiliation who tends to dabble in high-stakes art deals, illicit trades, and other illegal acts. 

He smiled like a kid in a candy store watching how everyone tried to please his every desire. Two men stood behind him as he continued to conversate with the crowd around him.  

You both weaved through the crowd with practiced grace. Toji exchanges pleasantries with a collector while you check your reflection in the mirrored windows of the luxury suite, your gaze never drifting far from KK.

Feigning boredom, you let out a resounding sigh, twirling around to face Toji. “Formula One. I’ll never understand the appeal. It’s all so... mechanical.”

Expressed loud enough for nearby guests to hear, you elicited a few amused looks.

“You said the same thing about abstract art and now New York and half of Japan want your opinion on it.”

Toji’s laugh is light, effortless like he's done this a thousand times. 

Your banter catches the ear of Hashime, one of KK’s bodyguards, who’s leaning against a railing with an air of casual authority. 

His interest now piqued, he glances between the two. Toji catches Hashime’s eye and offers a polite nod. He returns the nod and steps toward you both.

The pale blue-haired minion seized you up “You’re into art, huh? Never understood it myself. What’s the secret to knowing if something’s worth millions or not?” 

“Everyone’s chasing an enigma. If you can give them a story full of mystery and wonder, more will want it. If you can do that, then you can sell a painting to a blind man.” 

Joining smoothly, Toji wrapped his arm around your waist smiling. “Rare pieces, hard-to-find items, things worth killing for. They have a way of getting it all.”  

“I've heard Mr. KK over there has some of the best pieces to never be seen by the public. What I would give to just catch a glimpse.” Your voice lowered.

“He doesn't just let anyone see the collection.”

Leaning in slightly, you dropped your tone, whispering more intimately. “Of course not. Someone with his... connections... would appreciate only the most discerning eyes.”

Hashime's eyes narrow, his guard raised. You felt the energy shift, but remained calm, letting Toji take the lead from this point. 

“Stay here.” Hashime stepped away, walking towards KK.

Apprehension settled into your gut as you watched KKs dark eyes find you and Toji. Refusing to falter, you smiled and placed your hand on Toji’s abs. “You think this’ll work?”

“Of course it will. We just have to sell him on the most dangerous art deal of his life. He can't say no to what we have.”

A brief moment of calculation crosses his face, and then he stands, straightening his jacket. KK approaches you, a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes forming on his lips before he reaches out to take your hand. You obliged as he kissed your knuckles before shaking Toji’s hand. 

  “I tend to know everyone who breathes air in the art world yet neither of you look familiar.” KK smiled, placing his hands back in his pockets. 

  “If everyone knew us, I’d say we were doing awful at our job.”

KK looked over at Hashime and gave an almost girlish laugh as he raised his champagne.

“Hard to find. Good. After the race, let's talk.” He nodded, giving Hashime the go to give you his business card. Mozying back to his seat, you looked down at his card:

  Retrieval Services

Kenjaku

IT/JP/US

[mmmnkojjzhvhjj]

Any warning possible

NO context

Sukuna 2.0 was hugging themselves on the bed, rubbing their own forearm, In a lingerie, waiting for their lover. Tonight was the night. Their honeymoon night. They recently got done playing with some women’s feelings. Then entered the alpha, kenjaku 2.0 the dominant femboy who was about to absolutely destroy sukuna 2.0. A towel was wrapped around his body. "Good boy. I knew you’d creep her out." Sukuna 2.0 pulsed at the compliment. "T-Thank you…daddy…" kenjaku 2.0 walked closer to the bed, getting on top and getting in between sukuna 2.0's legs, rubbing his thighs seductively. "You look so sexy baby. Right after a fresh session of breaking someone’s heart and manipulating them. You’re just like me baby." Sukuna 2.0 blushed. "I n-need you!", he moaned. Kenjaku 2.0 took this as an invitation and slowly teased the straps that held the lingerie together, pulling it and making it snap back at sukuna 2.0s dick. "A-Ah…don’t tease me please!" "It’s hard to hold back on you, sexy." Kenjaku 2.0 let the towel fall down to his knees, tossing it aside. "Fuck baby, I’m gonna abuse you if you keep looking at me like that." "D-Daddy", sukuna 2.0 cried out. Kenjaku 2.0 teased sukuna 2.0s asshole with thr tip of his dick, slowly pushing inside, tearing the tight area. "S'Too much!!", Sukuna 2.0 gasped. "Take it bitch.", kenjaku 2.0 growled back at him, slowly moving at a steady pace, sweat trickling from his forehead down to his temples. Sukuna 2.0 was moaning at the foreign feeling of penetration in his tight ass. He loved being fucked like a femboy.

He loved being fucked like a femboy.

It was about 20 minutes in, and kenjaku 2.0 was still railing sukuna 2.0s tight asshole, stretching it out slowly with each thrust. "You're such a good slutty boy for me." Kenjaku grunts out. Sukuna 2.0 bites his lip and looks up at kenjaku 2.0 with teary eyes "t-thank you senpai!" He moaned out loudly. Kenjaku 2.0 started to get rougher with his thrusts, and speeding up the pace. He grabbed sukuna 2.0s hands and put them above his head, gripping his arms roughly where it kinda hurt sukuna 2.0. "D-daddy ur being so rough ~!" Sukuna 2.0 blurts out and in a split second kenjaku 2.0 slaps sukuna 2.0 in the face hard while pounding his asshole still "yeah slut, gonna abuse u while I fuck this pretty tight asshole, that's what we do right? Abuse and manipulate girls? Why not have a little abuse fun ourselves?" He smirks. "Okay daddy!" Sukuna 2.0 smiles lightly, getting even more turned on from the thought of having abusive rough, sloppy sex and being the submissive little femboy whore during it. Kenjaku 2.0 flips over sukuna 2.0 on his stomach and slaps his ass roughly. Sukuna 2.0 jumps in response and let's out a faint moan "AUGH!~ that felt so good senpai..~". Kenjaku 2.0 gives another slap on sukuna 2.0s ass and shoves in dick back in sukuna 2.0s asshole, putting the same pace he was doing before. Minutes and minutes of pounding, and being slapped, punched, and choked, and enjoying every moment of it, they were both finally getting close. "Daddy!!!!~~ I'm so close~~" sukuna 2.0s moans out. "Me too slut, meeee too" kenjaku 2.0 groans while he continues to fuck the living hell out of sukuna 2.0. "Allah knows your intentions right?" Kenjaku 2.0 says "y-yes king!!!", "HE KNOWS YOUR FUCKING INTENTIONS RIGHT??" "YES KINGGGG!!" "ARE YOU A LOVE BOMBING SLUT WHO MANIPULATES AND ABUSE GIRLS JUST LIKE ME, YOUR DADDY?" "YES YES YES DADDY!!! AUGHH FUCK LET ME CUM!!!" "WHOS YOUR DADDY?" "YOU ARE YOU ARE !!!!!!!!!" "GOOOODDDD FUCKING SLUTTT" "AUGHHHH IM GONNA CUMMMMM!!!" "YES CUM FOR DADDY!!" and just like that sukuna 2.0s dick shoots loads of cum everywhere and his asshole squirts butt juices, and kenjaku 2.0 nuts in sukuna 2.0s booty. They both plop on the bed even more, kenjaku 2.0 laying on sukuna 2.0s side, both of them panting heavily. "Augh daddyyy... that felt so good~" sukuna 2.0 whines. "It did, we should definitely do this more. So proud of u for taking over me and hurting those poor girls hearts, such a good boy." Kenjaku says and pats sukuna 2.0s head, they both eventually fall asleep and get prepared to break more girls hearts tomorrow then have more crazy sex.

THE END

[adventurous-adventures]

17 November 2024

Today's session name: sex

Aaaaaand we're back to fighting Cryovain.

Raven saw Cryovain coming...not in that way.

Georgie placed a dragon tarot card on Alex's DM board.

Mick: "imagine the amount of cum from a dragon dick?"

Zain: "How big are it's balls?"

Mick Googles up DnD r34.

Don John pork

Mick keeps thinking of dragon dick.

"Well Harmonoia is a Bard." - Zain

Baldur's gate 3 but Halsin takes cocaine and morphs into a bear: Cocaine bear

Zain rolls his sparkly Ace d20 for initiative. He rolls a nat 1.

Would Harmonoia fuck Falcon? Would Falcon fuck Harmonoia?

What British people say when they are about to nut: Oh fuck I'm approaching

Mick makes another sex joke. Alex tells them to stop it.

Zain says flapping of the wings. Georgie hears fapping of the wings.

Alex got scarred by Mick talking about arrow slits. (Heh heh, Arrow clits)

"Can't take much? Wow." - Zain

Mick: *points to Zain* "Whore."

Raven readies an attack.

Cryovain lands in Star metal (zone).

"Hah! Rip child." - Georgie

Cryovain misses all his attacks against Kallisto.

Zain plays the ultra instinct theme with perfect timing.

Falcon critically misses the arrow slit. He tells Raven not to tell Harmonoia about that.

Lara rolls a clit 20.

Cryovain is frightened of Kallisto.

Mick says Limp dick syndrome with more meaning.

The arrow slits are "a bit tight" according to Georgie.

Mick provides Zain with "bardic Inspiration"

Combat music for this battle: A line in the sand by Linkin Park. (Zain's note: it's really good combat music)

Mick after failing a con save: *Points to Alex* "Cunt."

Tweed talked in front of everyone.

"Heal yourself"

Alex: "Falcon is gonna-" Zain: "PUNCH!"

Falcon hits Cryovain with an arrow! The table celebrates.

"Torque wrench deez nuts"

Georgie and Mick perform DnD ASMR.

Don John performs some dangerous knife play on Cryovain.

Raven does a really cool run down the stairs of the tower, opens the door and stares down Cryovain.

Don John gets a nat 20 on Cryovain!

Cryovain becomes a pussy and flies off.

As the dragon tries to escape, Callisto impales him by the ass.

Raven uses rage for the first time ever and hits Cryovain twice. Falcon hits, despite being at disadvantage.

HE'S DOWN ON 1 HP. RAVEN FINISHES THE JOB WITH A 22!!!!

THE JOB IS DONE HOLY SHIT!!!

It has been just over a year when the campaign started.

Harmonia fucks Falcon!

The story is not yet over...

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

Copper top encounter with surprise jr pie part 11

"B came in with copper new armor plates." Hey, sugar, you awake yet? don't look at me copper. Please, i need these measurements to see what I need to fix, "copper groaned as she felt naked without her armor on" surprise jr where is he? I'm out here.....fuckin robot bitch.... quit crying uncle you lost fair and square "surprise jr teleported into the room with hell fire above his head like a halo" i don't cry my niece I get even "surprise glared at copper with hell fire rage in his eyes" just wait copper I will be free again. Yeah right your mine and my gf bitch and I'm the main pimp now go so I can get my measurements bitch. "Copper tilted her head in disrespect to the devil surprise teleported away." Get my measurements, please B I have to get my bitch in order. Oooooo copper, I never knew you would be a pimp. Neither did I, but I won that fight, and I'm not losing my grip on the devil either. "B got her measurements and started work on new armor plates while copper was writing down places and artifacts needed work on" hmmm "in a few minutes B had her armor plates done and started using magic to place them in" ok copper your golden "copper hugged B" Thank you B your a life saver don't worry about copper just knock my uncle down a few pegs ok? I will "copper smiled teleporting outside" surprise?! Go eat your gf. "Copper face started heating up, turning her cheek red" s-shut up...... blow me bitch! Follow me bitch i have artifacts for you to test artifacts my kind of artifacts? or my big brother artifacts? What's the difference goat boy keep pushing your lucky you slug I'll make your hell worst what I'll do to you up here "then the fourth strongest demon came to challenge copper to free surprise jr" you mortal bot I challenge thy to free my lord prepare thy asshole mortal "surprise jr stepped back and watch the show then the demon went to punch copper then she stopped the giant attack then upper cutted the demon then she drags the demon to a gelatin and chopping it's head off killing the demon" fourth strongest demon my copper metal ass bitch with me NOW! "Copper yelled at surprise, then dragged him to some satanic artifacts test them now you bitch go fuck your gf. Should I kick your ass? "Surprise, Jr. turned hell red as the devil took control, fixing his hoodie. " surprise is cooling down, my lady, and you are? im the devil....... "The devil dropped from getting low blow" bring back my bitch fucker before I make you my bitch too "surprise jr took control" really a nut shot? Daddy!!!!!!!! "Surprise, Jr. turned shocked seeing his daughter leyas here." Daughter, go home. I'm busy, but dad mom is worried you have been home in month. Who's this Surprise? My daughter, the devil's daughter, called her. Oh, I'm sorry. "Then leyas teleported closer to her dad so your beated my dad huh? Yes, ma'am. Did you almost win, Daddy? Yes, I had her half dead, and then she tackled me off the cliff she was lucky she "survived" 'surprise was pissed he still lost but he must honor the code' but untill I'm free I can't return home yet dammit mom won't come up tho it's cold up here. I know, leyas. im dressed for this coldness, but stay with mom. I'll be home later, ok? Ok daddy "leyas hugged her" you better be nice to my dad bitch or I'll come get you myself.

'Copper didn't know how to react but dragged surprise to some more artifacts while leyas teleported away' sorry for my daughter copper she over protective of me. it's fine, surprise. I kinda know how you feel. I bet you are you stupid robot bitch

To be continued

Mod pie: morning story for copper top i can't stay up anymore maybe we'll see if I can stay up

Tag: @ask-coppertop

[xplrvibes]

I am so sorry, guys. I intended in getting to the asks about Kat's songs but then I accidentally fell asleep 🤣.

It's been a chaotic day/week/month and I am old lol.

Anyway, I have many asks about it and the general consensus seems to be that the song itself was good, but didn't pack as much of a punch as people thought. I'm going to just make this one big blanket post with my thoughts because that's probably just easier.

Also, I am putting my thoughts behind a cut. If you are a person who does not want to hear about this, or if you are a person who doesn't want to hear any criticism towards someone you stan, do NOT click the read more. Keep it moving.

So, the song itself is...fine, I guess. I'm not a huge fan of this genre of music, so I wasn't expecting to be blown away by it from a musical standpoint (and I wasn't). I do think that more can be done from a technical aspect to mix her vocals in better so they are legible (cause they are NOT), but that is a production issue and not a Kat issue. I do want to say that I slowed the song down to .5 speed to try and decipher the lyrics and wow, it lowkey kind of rocked at .5. Very, very grungy sounding 🤣.

Anyway, the song itself was fine. I feel like they were going for an Abril Lavigne or even Paramore type vibe, which is cool. 🤷‍♀️

The elephant in the room of this song is the lyrics, and Sam, and Sam and Kat.

First of all - maybe I'm hard of hearing, but boy were those lyrics hard to decipher lol. I still don't know what the hell is being said in the chorus (in fact, anyone who can tell me what is said right after "how nice of you" wins a prize), which was part of why it took so damn long for me to get to these asks.

I don't know if the problem is the mixing of the lyrics with the music, or if there isn't enough enunciation when they are actually being recorded, but wow.

Anyway, the lyrics. Look, I know that a lot of people were expecting a full-scale evisceration, but let's be honest - that was never gonna happen lol. I think this was about as far as it was going to go.

There are a few biting lines -

the cry on cue line: this was especially of note to me because it validated something I said back when that break up video came out, which was that those were crocodile tears. I took heat for saying it then but sorry- it's true. Man cries and does shit in videos on purpose for attention sometimes. He's always been doing it, and probably will continue to do it. If I'm allowed now to critique him as a person without kicking up some drama, I'd say it's his middle child syndrome mixed with a pinch of narcissism and some insecurity to boot that causes that. But I probably can't say that, so I won't 😂.

The 50/50 like a teenager line: I need an explanation for this one. Was this multi-millionaire, 2 (soon to be 3) Mansion owning, self-driving tesla having rich guy making his much less financially well off girlfriend split every bill in half? Cause if so, he is both a cheap ass and kind of just an ass-ass lol. I'm sorry, but think about the absolute disparity in their income, and then think about the lifestyle he lives. Now imagine you are dating this man and he's taking you to Gordon Ramsey's kitchen and racking up an $800 bill on whiskey that comes out of a glass case and that fucking creepy ass beef wellington shit, and then the bill comes and he look at you and goes "halfsies?" I'd nut shot him. Fuck you, I could've gone to Red Robin and been just as fine. You wanna live bougie and you want my not-rich ass along for the ride? You're gonna have to pay the lionshare. Also - if I'm going to live in your house, and pay an equal share of the bills, you don't get to tell me that I have no say in decorating said house.

The "you sleep well cause she keeps her mouth shut" line: Oof. If I'm interpreting that right, she is saying she could very well destroy him with the shit she knows/shit he's done, but she won't. He's probably very lucky she isn't an Olivia Rodrigo/Taylor Swift type and this is as far as she went, judging by that line.

The tesla line: I think this is a dig at that day that Sam took K on the date to the LA Abandoned Zoo and then K posted an Instagram story in the tesla afterwards? I think? This could've been worded better, I feel, but if that's what she's digging at...double oof lol.

The 6 months line: 🤣🤣🤣. The amount of people that were shocked by the 6 months thing is really just proof positive that nobody stalks and dissects this man's moves the way they do Colby's, cause y'all had Colby and Ms Singer married after ONE DATE and talked about it ad nauseum for MONTHS and meanwhile, guess who was two steps behind him on said date? He and K were coupled up all through Halloween, dressing like Hailey and Justin Bieber, taking couples photos at the parties, but all I heard about was Ms Singer and the pool. Just saying 👏. Also, people can move on from shit whenever they want and however fast they want, but the people who were left behind and devastated and have to watch those people move on with lightning speed have every right to feel jilted about it, especially when the injured party took all the shit for the breakup and the other party was praised for being the sad reluctant hero in the whole thing.

I'm not dissecting the rest, cause the POV switches too much and I can never quite tell if she's talking about herself or K lol. But those lines were notable to me.

Overall...it was a good effort on Kat's part, and I can tell it has been therapeutic and cathartic. If anyone is upset about this cause you feel that Sam is being unfairly kicked down in this, I implore you to remember that this man enjoyed a full year of being able to freely say that he has been so much happier and more confident after breaking up with her, while she has gotten death threats for saying he blindsided her. She is allowed her day in court.

[lexicals]

You can finally do readmores on mobile which means I am unstoppable. Atsv spoilers below I am sharing my thoughts

1. EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO THE RIGGERS COMPOSITING ARTISTS VFX ARTISTS ETC. THE ANIMATORS DID AN AMAZING JOB OFC BUT THE TECHNICAL WORK ON THIS FILM IS UNBELIEVABLE

2. I knew I was gonna love hobie but I adore hobie. I love how I knew from minute one this guy knew what was up and was out to shake things up. I'm so excited to see more of him in the next one

3. SPEAKING OF. I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GAVE ME HALF A MOVIE SONY. This is not an actual complaint I understand why this was done this way but man give me some WARNING THAT I'M GONNA LEAVE WITH IT ALL UNRESOLVED

4. I love pavitr I love spiderbyte I love all the new spideys so much. Most importantly I LOVE THAT GWEN GOT SO MUCH TIME DEDICATED TO HER. IT'S WHAT SHE DESERVES

5. I really really enjoy the setup of miles being framed as a force of chaos especially compared to a lot of much more put together spider people and having miguel as a foil because he's all about control!! The first part of the film builds up to the reveal so well that I was ready for it in a good way it felt right for him and right for the narrative. Miles' thing in itsv has always been about carving your own narrative and your own way of doing things so it's cool that atsv expands on and really doubles down on it

6. Atsv said cops are always gonna be cops first and good cops quit! I don't think their handling was perfect but I appreciate that much at least

7. God the movement. The visuals. The everything. I want to print this film out frame by frame and wallpaper my house with it

8. When are we gonna find out who the little lady with the heart glasses is huh. I feel like she's kept appearing but there's no actual explanation as to who she is. I'm watching that!

9. I have to include a negative. I really hated the live action inclusions. They felt really jarring and just like something to appease the mcu fans which is not what I'm looking for in these films. Just kind of unnecessary and didn't really add anything imo

10. All! The callbacks!! To itsv!!! Fuck man idk if it's just me being someone who's seen that film 50+ times but there were so many little things I was going nuts. Like obviously there were some really big ones but the ones that were subtle visual callbacks specifically had me leaving this mortal plane. The one sticking in my brain rn is miles taking the glass with him when he jumps again but also the being tied to the punching bag and the running upside down over the crossing at his school and the pigeons and

11. The spot is suuuuch a good villain for miles. He's not supposed to be there.... he initially doesn't seem all that important. And he's a chaotic villain for miles the chaotic hero, I love that

12. The anti establishment narrative. Chef kiss. Yes. Question the rules!! Who says this has to be the way!! Pavitr's "I can do both" hobie's "know what you're fighting against"!! Yelling screaming

13. I can't believe I got to 13 of these but also yes I can. Bro the fuckin queer allegories ae you kidding. The not being able to tell your parents the "finding others like you who understand" it feels so obvious but I have to say it anyway

I feel like I'm gonna have more to say as my brian keeps chewing and I'm DEFINITELY going to go watch again asap but in summary AAAAAAAAA

[rezcowgirl]

Well, son, a funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done. And, by the way, if you see your mom this weekend, be sure and tell her:

Satan, Satan, Satan, Satan, Satan, Satan, Satan, Satan

Phil from Orbital and The Crystal Method hugging. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ���

I secured my spot in the front when two dudes decided to start throwing punches when Halcyon On and On started (???). Which is extremely perplexing considering Halcyon is one of the most beautiful and transcendent songs ever made imco. But go nuts or whatever. I took their spot while they were being stupid, and it resulted in me getting a fist bump from Phil right after this video was taken. Hell. Yeah.

Afterwards, I was coming down the stairs from the coat check and I spotted my friend Alex and I basically went supernova yelling 'ALEX. ALEX. I LOVE ALEX'. He didn't recognize me because of my mask and lack of glasses lmao.

We're going to some kind of award winning puppet show on the 11th. I don't know what it's about, but I trust him. He went to clown school in France btw. I'm not joking.

Avoiding a meltdown by venting down there. 🔻🔻🔻

This week has been a weird back and forth between euphoria and dread. We are going to see Underworld TWICE in May! We got to see Orbital and The Crystal Method! It snowed!

I might not have a job this time next year! Let's not mention the political landscape! Let's not.

Trying very hard to not catastrophize about the team meeting we had this week on theme of "what happens if...". Talking about reverting back to the 90s style harm reduction. OPS close. Go back to covert individual witnessing. Complete recriminalization.

Unclear if I'll even have a job in 6 months.

I know I'll be okay as far as my ability to survive unemployment goes. I have a fairly healthy savings account that I've been squirreling funds away to for a maybe-someday downpayment, on top of wedding savings. Of course I'd rather not dip into those, but it's there if I need it, which is more than a lot of people have. Aries is also securely employed in an ever in-demand field, so it's unlikely we'll both be fucked over at least.

And there's always Edmonton. They have a Dark 80s night. I checked.

[casspurrjoybell-24]

My Unwanted Mate - Chapter 23 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Calvin Frey

"Would you like to press charges?"

"Robert," Torin spun on the Alpha, giving a hard glare.

"I'd say getting punched by your own mate is enough of a punishment."

"We need to address this as their Alphas, babe, not family."

Robby ran his fingers through his hair in distress, clearly unsure of how to proceed.

It wasn't everyday that pups were taken.

Looking up from where I had been staring at my bruised knuckles, I met my best friends eyes.

He was upset, I could tell by the way his eyebrows pinched together but aside from that he kept his expression blank.

"You dislocated his jaw," Torin butted in, reminding everyone.

Not that I needed the reminder... I couldn't forget.

The stench of their fear, the snap of Nathan's jaw, Tatum unable to even look at me.

Despite my rejection of them, my most primal part, my wolf still claimed them.

And I hurt him... I had always known I would, it was only a matter of time.

"No, I won't be pressing charges."

I cleared my throat, eyes shifting away from the Alpha staring me down.

Benjamin was fine... he spent the day being pampered while I worried.

I had no way of telling what they'd do to him, if they wanted revenge for being rejected.

At the end of the day, I didn't know them.

They were my destined mates but aside from that they were strangers and my family refused to look at it from my point of view.

My pup was fine though... they hadn't hurt him and I knew deep down that they would never dream of hurting him.

Torin was right... the twins had been punished for what they'd done, I had made sure of it.

"Okay," Robby exhaled.

Torin crossed his arms over his chest.

"In case you've all forgotten, we're not human," the little male shouted, stomping his foot.

"You're not dead, they'll never get a second chance with a mate."

"Enough, Torin. We will talk about this later, privately."

"But..."

"I said enough, now go," Robby growled.

Alpha pheromones filled the office as he stared down my little brother.

Torin stared for a second, as if unable to believe Robby had dismissed him.

Even I was a little surprised.

Robby was a pushover when it came to Torin.

My brother's head dropped in defeat, his cheeks reddening with embarrassment.

It wasn't my place to say anything.

Torin slammed the door behind him and Robby took a deep breath, releasing it in a long sigh.

"What a shit show," he murmured, finally looking away from the door and back towards me.

"I can't say I'm okay with what happened. You and your mates are fucking nuts."

"This would have never happened if they'd left the first time I rejected them."

"Or if you had given them a chance."

I laughed but there was no humor behind it.

Robby would never understand, he had always wanted a mate.

"I can't just send them back home," Robby changed the course of the conversation, knowing we'd get nowhere.

"Their father... he wasn't all that happy when he found out they were mates."

That confused me.

The twins had never really talked much about their pack or their family.

Then again, we never really talked much at all.

"They're from an old pack. A traditional one. The pack didn't take well to two submissive wolves being mates," Robby stated, shaking his head.

"They were sent here to give their father the time needed to find a dominant mate for them."

"Are you fucking with me?" I asked, refusing to believe what he was saying.

Things weren't how they use to be, times were changing, evolving and so were the packs.

"You wouldn't imagine the shit I have seen passing through packs."

Robby shook his head as if in disbelief himself.

"I believe the Moon Goddess has a plan for all of us and you're a fucking idiot for rejecting them but that's your prerogative."

He chuckled under his breath with a sneer.

"It's best if you stay out of the house for a while, we don't need anymore incidents."

I stood as he did, giving a single nod to show I agreed.

As much as I hated what I have done, it was deserved.

At least I thought so.

There was no boundary I wouldn't cross when Benjamin was involved.

"Now, I have to go and apologize to my mate."

Robby's shoulders slumped as he left his office and I had the suspicion that he was scared of my little brother.

[beef-brisket]

Lute: Vox and Valentino have been put in solitary confinement for two weeks. If they cause any issues at any point during those two weeks, their punishment time will be doubled. Sneaky fuckers. Well done today Adam.

Adam: uh... what for?

Lute: most would be too much of a pussy to taser somewhere so delicate. But you said fuck that! I like it. I like you, Adam, I like how you think

Adam: I... thank you?

Lute: you're very welcome. At first, I was a tad concerned about you. But today, you kicked ass.

Adam: I guess I did- but Lucifer did a majority of the ass kicking

Lute: don't sell yourself so low, Adam. Lucifer is an odd one. But you fight for justice. For the little people. And you fucked an assholes ability to have any future kids! Fucking hilarious!

Adam: i-i did what!? I didn't want to... burst his nut or anything-

Lute: fuck. His. Balls.

Adam: ...I'd rather not, lute.

Lute: no. Seriously. Fuck. Him!

Adam: I am being serious Lute! I'd rather not-

Lute: fuck up everything that makes that fucking loser a man! Cut his fucking dick off! Adam, I'll get you a knife from our weapons bay. Everyone here will know not to fuck with you! Unless they want their ducks cut off and their balls crushed!

Adam: ...uh-

Lute: wait here! I'll get you your new weapon!

Adam: Lute! I don't need a knife-! And she's gone... great... that's what I'm known for now... fucking- ball teasing... what is my life-

Adam jumped as his phone started ringing, it's Sera. Just when he thought this day couldn't get any worse.

Adam: hey ma...

Sera: oh Adam! I heard what happened! Are you okay?

Adam: yeah I'm fine, you should see the other guy

Adam chuckled at his joke, but of course, Sera took it seriously.

Sera: oh, I heard sweety! Ball teaserer! We need to celebrate!

Adam: god- please- don't do anything ma! I don't need to celebrate! This is nothing! Really!

Sera: ...I'll let it go- this once!

Adam: okay- good, thank you!

The conversation was quick, thankfully. Why was she surprised he got attacked? It's a prison! Adam knew there was a chance even before he got the job.

After getting checked by the nurse, Lute let Adam go home early. With his new knife. He really hoped he never had to use it.

He deserves a little gift for taking a punch at work. Maybe burgers for tea? Yeah, that sounds good.

Adam basically ran to his car, excited for dinner. It's time to have a relaxing rest of the day, before tomorrow.

Adam: fucking- burger time!

Alternative Prison Au

@fanofstuff01 @beef-brisket

Adam walked through the doors of the prison in his new guard uniform. He was of course nervous to be working with very violent people, but his mother helped get him the job here.

A woman with short hair greeted him.

Lute: Hello, you must be Adam.

Adam: I am.

Lute: The names Lute Danger. I'll be your commanding officer for the time being. Let me show you around where you'll be working.

She showed him where everything was and where the prisoners are.

Lute: You need to be tough or they will walk all over you. Some will listen, most won't. Don't be afraid to get a little forceful. It's your life or theirs.

As she explained the rules to Adam, one inmate in particular was watching their exchange.

Lucifer internally: Maybe..... Just maybe he could be my ticket out of here.

[lasseizlesbontempsrouler]

States pronouns and how they react when you ask. You don't have to do all of them, and you don't have to if you've already done it

AK - "uhm.. i don't know. he/him i guess" or "[fucking ignores you]" giggles he <3 AL - "those uh. them there boy ones yeah. uh roll tide?" he/him AR - ":stares at you with those eyes of his: why don't you guess" he/him, but he won't get pissed off if you use they/them AZ - "he/she." he says nothing further, just fades into the distance CA - "oh! he/him!! what about yours?" "[prns]" "oh! cool! you know i once had a friend who also used [prns]!" CO - "huh? oh. any i guess" CT - they/them or he/him but he doesn't directly tell you he shoves an index card in your face that says "he/they. stop asking" DE - "whatever you want i don't care" he genuinely doesn't care FL - "hehe uh ur mom" genderfluid arc. he never tells anyone, louisiana just knows. GA - "[snoring]" he/him + she/her but like. only if you're super close HI - "she/her and he/him" IA - "what? oh minnesota was talking about those" he/him ID - "they.. them?" IL - "???" he/him. chicago would spit on you (uses any prns) IN - ":] yes" mostly he/him, but likes other ones used from time to time KS - "JKNBI uh he/him i guess?" he was mid ranch bottle why did you interrupt him KY - "i don't know" doesn't know. use he/him for now LA - "they/he. mais, et tu sha?" i guess he knows french. also stfu nb (still he/him using) loui supremacy MA - "he" MD - "anything works hon, i'm not picky?" he's handing you an old bay can. all prns maryland ME - "i don't know." they/them MI - "[choking on vernors noises]" he/him or they/them, but never use both in the same sentence about him MN - "ope! he/him works just fine right now, don'tcha know! how about you?" genderfluid minnesota. MO - "wait what? uh he/him i think.." use they/them in case MS - "he/him please :] how about you?" MT - "[read 2:47]" they/he NC - "he/she. you?" ND - "uh sure whatever" literally uses any NE - "[n/a]" he/it NH - "[stares at you] he. he/him" NJ - "[probably punches you in the dick and slurs you]" he/him NM - ".. he/they" NV - "currently he/she check again later" genderfluid nevada drools NY - "[bites you]" he/xe OH - "uh" literally will use any pronouns prefers the he/it ones ngl OK - "okay and" he/him OR - "uh they/he? yours?" PA - ":/ he/him" RI - "[kicks your ankles] he/him. CAUSE I'M HIM ALRIGHT" SC - "the fuck is a pronounce" he/him SD - "deez nuts" they/them TN - "[guitar noises]" he/they TX - "i don't use those" he/him UT - "i don't believe in pronouns :]" he/him VA - "[stares at you like an owl]" she/he VT - "literally kys" they/them WA - "they/he or she. how about you huh?" WI - "[passed out]" any prns WV - "no" no prns OR they/them is you must WY - "why" he/him

[cookinguptales]

Guillermo de la Cruz

favorite thing about them I love everything about Guillermo, lbr, but probably my absolute favorite part of his character is the way that he really, truly believes he's the straight man (so to speak) of the series, but in some ways he's the most unhinged person there. He's so sweet! As he calls in a bomb threat to a church!

least favorite thing about them the iffy writing in s4 regarding the time skip His tendency to make big, dramatic exits and then come back approximately five business days later. I love melodramatic mess as much as anyone, but it kind of loses the punch after the first time. Even though it does seem to be effective on Nandor, at least, every time.

favorite line This is hard for me, because my favorite things about Guillermo are typically what he does more than what he says. That said, I fucking gasped at his little "I didn't have to" when Nandor accused him of cheating during their last fight. Guillermo, my beloved.

brOTP Probably... Laszlo, maybe? Except they're not bros, they're vaguely antagonistic but occasionally supportive coparents of the creature that crawled out of their deceased friend Colin Robinson. I do really like their dynamic in s4, though, where you can tell that Guillermo is 1000% done with Laszlo but Laszlo is slowly coming around to respecting Guillermo's opinion (even if he drives him nuts) and that makes Guillermo come around, too. I think Guillermo growing some claws has grudgingly impressed Laszlo, even as it's confused and thrilled Nandor.

OTP I feel like this one is... obvious... I've written many thousands of words about why I love Nandor/Guillermo, and I'll probably write many thousands more. They're both fucking insane, but in a way that suits each other so well. I love their incredibly complicated power dynamics. I love the way they make each other better, when they let themselves. ;o;

nOTP Honestly, probably every other character with Guillermo. lmao. I'm a terrible monoshipper like that. But I especially hate any female character with Guillermo, Laszlo/Guillermo (just not the vibe I see there), Colin/Guillermo (feels... like incest now...), and... honestly, probably Derek/Guillermo. I feel like Derek can do better, as cruel as I am to the man.

random headcanon Guillermo's love language is providing for people. He's got an almost pathological need to be needed, but I think that especially comes out with food. We know that his family feeds people to welcome/comfort them (see: his mom in 2.10), we know that he used to have a job in food service, we know that he's an excellent baker (and is adorably proud of that fact), and we know that when he wanted to reconnect with his family, he chose to do so through a dinner. I think food really probably is Guillermo's love language, and it drives him crazy that he can't share that with his vampires, especially Nandor. It's assuaged a little bit by procuring victims (especially virgins) for them, but I think he really wants to break bread with them, so to speak. I foresee him going out to feed with Nandor a lot some day. If he ever gets changed.

unpopular opinion Guillermo is my sweet little baby but he's also a gigantic asshole -- to humans and even occasionally to the other vampires. I see a lot of people saying he "deserves" good things, but I don't think he does. I think he deserves exactly what he's gotten. He made the choices that got him here and they've been deeply cruel choices. I love him more than pretty much any other character on tv, but he's incredibly selfish and petty and mean. I love that for him, but I'm not willing to pretend that he's some sweet cinnamon roll, y'know? He'd be so boring if he were.

song i associate with them Quite a bit of the bird and the bee's work, tbh, especially Again & Again, You're A Cad, and Birthday. (And for a bonus, I associate their song Man with Nandor.) And, of course, Danse Macabre. (ETA: A lot of people didn't know that I didn't choose Danse Macabre for Guillermo when I wrote Sway! No, guys, that's Guillermo's BGM in the show! They use it for him a lot!)

favorite picture of them

my sweet, insane darling

but seriously, him smiling after showing off his stakes in his mini fridge was a close second.

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Legend of Vox Machina: Those Who Walk Away (2x04)

I got the Vax punching Percy scene, I'm a happy camper.

Cons:

I can't overstate how much most of my complaints about this show are nitpicks. It feels like we've gotten such a bounty, something so much better and cooler and more intense than I ever could have hoped for. So when I'm talking about things that missed the mark for me, it's really only a matter of being thorough. Of being so impressed with this show that I expect the absolute best from it. My complaint is a little difficult to articulate, but during the pivotal Vex resurrection "take me instead" scene, it felt like the pacing, or the blocking, or maybe both, were just slightly... off.  Pacing-wise we go from the weeping at the end of season three to suddenly everyone being like "oh yeah, shit, we should be trying to save her", which just felt like they prioritized the fucking stunning ending of episode three over the beginning of episode four making sense, a little? Vax is sobbing like he believes she's really dead, and then suddenly he says "somebody do something!" like he's still in the middle of figuring out what's going on. Just a little awkwardness there.

There's this particular shot where Vex's spiritual self has flowed upward, and there's the golden thread connecting the twins, and the Matron of Ravens is looming over them, and it just looked kind of awkward with Vex's form laid out in this weird ghostly way... I think if I were going to do this, I wouldn't have had Vex's soul float out of her body at all, I would have kept the string connecting Vax to where Vex lay on the floor. Or I would have done a less tangible representation of Vex being taken away, like an orb of light or something. Like I said, this is nitpick-y to the extreme.

I'm also a little torn about Anna Ripley popping up there at the end. When I first saw her I actually wasn't sure who she was and had to think on it to figure it out. I guess it makes sense to want to keep her character on people's minds during this season, since I assume she's going to become relevant again in season three, but it still feels a little random. I'm willing to see how they take it, I'm just not sure how to feel yet.

Pros:

I'm so happy with everything we're getting!!!

Trinket backstory has me weeping. It just makes me think back to Laura writing up a little short story about her D&D character for Matt, and how it was this special little thing she'd thought up for their home game, all the way to now, seeing it in glorious animation. And what a cool way to set up the theme about fate. It's not so much that you have no control over anything so life is pointless, it's that, as Vex says, whatever happens is out of our control, so you might need to try and embrace what's in front of you. She took an opportunity, and got Trinket out of it. Now Vax has an opportunity in front of him as well.

The resurrection scene, while I've lodged a few complaints above, still gave me so many things I absolutely loved. The details of the whole group and how they respond to Vex's death... you've got Keyleth taking her hand and weeping, and there's the moment when Kash takes over and is going to try a resurrection rite, and Vax just kind of stumbles and falls backwards to the ground. Both Grog and Scanlan reach for him as if to catch him or steady him, but it's so clear that Vax is beyond their reach in that moment. And then the contrast between Vax sitting there watching the Matron of Ravens approach slowly, eerily, and the frantic sounds of the group talking as they try and save her... so chilling. You've got Scanlan trying to suggest another potion, you've got Grog saying "can we move her somewhere else", when it becomes clear that the tomb of the Matron isn't going to let her be resurrected. You've got Percy, begging Kash not to give up. That's the good shit.

All of the Matron of Ravens imagery is STUNNING. I'll talk about the fight stuff later, but just soup to nuts, the way she moves, the creepy mask, the size and scope of her, the music, the way the visions/flashbacks work for Vax... it all looks so cool and has me so hyped for what they do with her and Vax moving forward. Towards the end we see Vax witnessing a moment of death. We're starting to see the Matron of Ravens as a being heavily associated with death, but also death being a natural thing, something the Matron helps to usher along at the end. Vax is going to have to go on a journey to figure this out.

I'm sure some people are going to be pissed off with the degree to which Zahra is kind of the villain of this episode, what with her unleashing a not-Beholder on the group leading to the majority of them getting petrified, but I think this change is really smart. We're dealing with seven main characters here. There's a lot to juggle, and there's not really room to have a couple extra people tag along who are just there to be nice, uncomplicated allies in moments of stress. I thought it was such a fun way to have a fight sequence that isn't low-stakes, precisely, but is more there to showcase the power of our first Vestige of Divergence. This monster takes out the entirety of Vox Machina, along with Zahra, and yet Vax on his own is enough to defeat it because of his new cool armor and status as a champion of a goddess.

We've seen what a big deal these dragons are, we know how outclassed our heroes were in the face of them. So now we see how hunting down these Vestiges is going to make a big difference in that fight. Super smart! And as always the fight choreo is so fun and chaotic and exciting, with so many good character details. Kash calling out "Z! No, no!" when she got petrified got me in my feels about those two, and Scanlan reaching for Pike's hand, only for them both to be turned to stone, it's all so good and fun. And when Vax emerges to finish the fight, the speed, the music, that stunning shot of him in the air with the image of the Matron behind him... holy shit, I totally got chills.

Those Calamity/Purvan visions! Holy shit, this show is GORGEOUS. We've got a glow-up in terms of visuals even from what the first season managed to give us, and I am living for it. The images of the gods during the Calamity, those giant embodiments floating in the sky... we saw the Everlight again, among others we'll get to know about more later. And we see Vax start to embrace his fate, even though he doesn't know what it is, exactly. It's so terrifying, it's so upsetting, how from this moment on, Vax never gets to be quite the same person he was before.

I've got to shout out Percy for being so sweet and solicitous of Vex, checking up on her, guiding her through the tombs, helping her up after her petrification is undone by Kash. He's being so gentle and timid, and he's so clearly horrified and forever changed by  what his moment of carelessness nearly cost him. I'm living for it. And we got one of my FAVORITE scenes in the whole streamed campaign, where Percy goes to apologize to Vax for getting Vex killed, and he gets decked in the face for his trouble. Fucking excellent. I love how they streamlined this moment by having Vax say "I don't want to talk about it", and then Percy pushing through to talk about it anyway. It's such a good character moment for Percy, because he really is sorry, and all that, but ultimately he still thinks he knows best. He can't respect the way Vax needs to process this, and wants to get the apologizing over with. At the same time, Percy just wants to prove his worth to the group, prove that he is no longer the monster that sought to hurt them last season. I... love Percy so much, and I am so, so excited to see how things develop for him in terms of his relationships with the rest of the group, particularly with each of the twins.

So for now, we say farewell to Kash and Zahra! I loved that Zahra was the one to give Vex the necklace, that was a good way of streamlining, although I'll miss our fun wolfy friend from the stream at the same time. And while we didn't get the legendary Kash/Keyleth kiss between these characters, because so much has changed about the circumstances of their first meeting, we did at least get Kash asking Zahra if "antlers" is watching him walk away. That was so fun!

I hope that other people watching this appreciate the gravitas of the choice Vax has made. Yes, they managed to save Vex from death itself, but it's not a cheap moment, it's not something someone could just do any old day. It's going to be so exciting to watch the implications spill forward from this moment!

9/10