#and i'll be too bitter on how he treated me to be a true friend. i'll always be aware he chose fucking games over everyone else

[jorjin]

Thinking about the fact I wanted to be friends with my ex if we separated in the past but now that it finally happened I just don't want anything to do with him at all

[hell-drabbles]

Ahh I have a bit of personal headcanons of Asmo, if you dont mind me sharing them.🪽

-

Honestly, I don't think he's the type to force anyone into anything they don't like. But that doesn't mean he can't be a tease in other ways:

"Quite a temper you have," he rests his chin on his knuckles. "Have you ever tried relaxing?"

He poked at their cheek. His sharp nail felt like a needle about to puncture their flesh, but he never did. "You should loosen up, be more like Raon."

He's the same level of calm as Mammon. He's aggressive when he needs to be. To me, he's bordering on motherly and fatherly:

"Ah," his head perks up when he notices the fresh scars on their flesh. "Look where your wrecklessness has brought you."

He approaches them in a manner almost similar to a saunter. The King of Lust stands before them, raising their injured arm, only a region of their injured body. The open wound heals as he places the pads of his fingertips against it, leaving only a remnant of the sanguine trail. "Careful next time. We don't want Raon to lose his little friend."

Although he might seem like he favors Raon more, I think he treats Companion and him equally. He just likes seeing Companion ticked off. He loves getting reactions out of them.

He's able to hold up a conversation with them well, though. He seems like the type to ramble on about himself considering he's a narcissist:

Although they may roll their eyes at him, he doesn't mind as long as they're listening. He'll ask about their day, too. Just to be fair.

"I'm sure your day must've been great." Asmodeus' red eyes stare at the already bitter face, their eyes somewhere else. "Especially since Raon was in it."

"Oh, the complete opposite," they look at the devil in front of them. It seems like they're engaged now.

Asmodeus snickers. It seems that he could make time for their rant.

-

I honestly think they should've made Asmodeus' hair less messy and his horn less geometrical, I guess? I hope you like my thoughts on him, though.🪽

Yeah the hair in the fancy selfie card does bother me, since Asmodeus's hair in his regular sprite doesn't look layered. It smooth, it sleek.

I very much enjoyed those headcanons, man are they fun to read. It always stirs up my brain for my own ideas!

He does seem like someone that would enjoy some good ol tea. Who doesn't enjoy gossip? I would imagine he would keep these little conversations a secret, not because out of any respect, but because it bothers my Ra-on to the nth degree. Well, perhaps a little bit of respect towards the Companion but who says he can't have a bit of a fun and tease my Ra-on about this information.

"You're not very good at hiding your desires. You can say all you want how much you don't want to hear what they've said, but I see the way you bite your lip every time I make them laugh. You want to hear what I said, and your companion said in return, don't you? Why don't you try and strike a bargain? Maybe I'll tell you, maybe I won't."

Hmm, I don't have many headcanons on him, just small plans or potential ways I could use Asmodeus.

Something something, Asmodeus representing the current future waiting for Ra-on if he continues on the path he's going, cursed to simply be an object of lust, never able to forge close bonds out of his own inability to give up on his selfishness, something something, the differences between the bonds Asmodeus and my Ra-on have with my Companion ultimately serve to further highlight Ra-on's self-destructive and avoidant nature that's deeply seeded into him, that his overly horny nature is not the true core of his problems.

Because, for all of Asmodeus's problems and how generally hated by the public he is, he can still get along with the Companion. He surpasses my Ra-on in terms of how horny he is, and can still have a civil conversation with them. Doesn't help that, Asmodeus being Asmodeus, obviously wants to fuck the Companion. And yet, there the Companion is, sitting, more than tolerating, enjoying in fact, being around him.

So it makes my Ra-on question: What wrong with me, then, that they avoid me? That they hate me if they can be around Asmodeus?

You know, fun character stuff.

You wanna know what's funny to me? I actually can't see my Ra-on enjoying being around Asmodeus, and he, at the current moment, can't articulate why. He's a beautiful devil, and by all means, he would probably be the best and most debauch fuck to have. And yet, my Ra-on wants out. Looking at him is painful. And Asmodeus scares him.

I love messing with my Ra-on.

[avatar-anna]

Diamonds

pausing our regularly scheduled program with a luke hemmings blurb bc i love him and his solo music and i'm sad i couldn't go to any of his shows 😔 i'll get back to harry soon, but i'll take inspo wherever i can rn. enjoy!

"The next one we're gonna play for you is one of the most vulnerable songs I've ever written," Luke said, mouth pressed up against the microphone. The shimmer you helped spread over the lids of his eyes practically glowed under the blue lights that lit the stage. You thought he looked ethereal, the very embodiment of the music he was performing tonight.

"When I was putting together the final tracklist for this album," Luke continued, "I was hesitant to add this song because I was afraid that it was too vulnerable, but I was convinced that it was worth sharing, that the emotions and experiences behind this song would reach those who needed to hear it the most.

"The person who convinced me, and played a crucial part of making this record, is here tonight, and to them, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for believing in me when I couldn't and making me brave enough to truly face my demons. You pulled me out of the deep end when it felt like I was drowning, and I would be a completely different person than I am today without you. I love you. My heart and soul is yours to keep."

Cheers were heard throughout the venue as the opening chords began. As Luke started to sing, you were thankful that you decided to watch the concert from backstage, unable to keep tears from welling in your eyes.

"Cut like diamonds and sink like stones, starve myself 'til I'm skin and bone, I'm so much older than I ever thought I would be."

He said that often. My heart and soul is yours to keep. Yours to keep safe, was what he meant. It had taken him a long time to open up to you and trust your ability to be a good partner, so him saying that his heart was yours was huge. He trusted you that much not to break his heart, to never let him sink back into old habits and bitter thoughts. That level of trust meant everything to you.

In his little speech, Luke thanked you for being the one to convince him to release the song, which was true in a way. He'd been conflicted about the song at first, not ready to share such a dark period of his life so publicly. The song had originally been just a way to express himself, to put everything he'd been through on paper without ever letting it see the light of day.

Luke had shared what the song was about, had opened up to you just what had made him feel that way in the past—toxic relationships, poor decisions that led to even worse habits, hurting the people closest to him, all of his mistakes. He didn't hide any of it from you, and you took all of those misgivings, all of those past mistakes, and showed him that you loved him anyway.

"How far is far? Are we too deep in? How dark is dark? I need to see it."

It wasn't easy at first. When you met, Luke wasn't in a place where he could give himself to anyone emotionally. He believed that he was too damaged to be loved the way he deserved and that he was better off being alone and unhurt than trying to fall in love again and risk being completely ruined by someone he thought he could trust. He had been more closed off than anyone you'd ever met, but all of it just made you want to show him what love without conditions looked like. And he couldn't fathom why. Luke was never rude to you about it. He never snapped at you or pushed you away or treated you badly to make a point, he just truly believed that he wasn't worth your time.

*.*

You were at his house, hanging out as friends. Only this time you surprised him by bringing him flowers.

Luke had been completely dumbfounded, unsure of your intentions. You told him it was just to brighten up his home a little, and because you liked doing nice things for the people you cared about. He didn't question you much further, but the rest of the time you were together, you caught him staring at the bouquet that stood in the vase you'd placed them in. His gaze had been wary and apprehensive each time, and you finally told him the truth.

"I want to take you on a date," you said simply.

Luke seemed surprised, which led to a conversation that was perhaps a step below an argument, but only because you calmly listened to Luke and evaded his tactics to push you away with ease.

"I—I don't deserve you," he finally said, but his voice was heavy with emotion, like he desperately didn't want it to be true.

"Who decides what we do and don't deserve, Luke?" you said to him, resting your hand over his and rubbing your thumb over his knuckles gently. To your surprise, he didn't pull away.

"I'm not good enough for you," he amended.

With a close-lipped smile, you leaned over from your spot on his couch and placed your thumb between his brows, smoothing the furrow there. "I think you think you're a worse person than you are."

You kissed his brow, your touch just enough for him to feel your lips brush his skin. When you pulled back, you tapped his nose with your knuckle. "I won't push you, and I won't try to fix you," you said, because the truth was, you didn't believe he needed fixing. But you knew you weren't going to be able to convince him of that. Not now, anyway. "But I will tell you this: you are a remarkable person, and when you're ready, I'd love to love you one day."

*.*

"I'm on my way out, losing the dream. I feel it crash down, down on me. Caught in the madness, holding on me. Is this the way it will always be?"

It took some time, but Luke eventually believed what you did from the day you met him. You were there to see him through the thick of it, holding his hand when he needed you to and giving him space when he asked. He'd gone off to write for a little while, and when he came back, you could practically see the weight lift from his shoulders. It was as if he'd left his biggest demons at the cabin he'd been staying in.

And now he was at his own solo concert performing the songs that held the deepest secrets of his heart. Luke sang each word with passion and pride, the kind that came from knowing that he'd overcome the darkness that had held him for so long. He wasn't drowning anymore, but he sang his songs so that his fans could see that it was possible to be in a dark place and come out of it.

The song faded to its end, and Luke bowed before the crowd as they cheered. He held his hands together in front of his face, the appreciation written in his features abundantly clear. You watched him survey the crowd with so much pride you thought you were going to burst, but you ended up just shedding a couple more tears instead.

While fans were still cheering and his band was playing chords that would lead into the next song, Luke jogged to the side of the stage where you were standing. You hadn't expected him to come over to you, but when you saw his face, you knew what he needed.

Your arms opened for him just in time as he wrapped himself around you. He held onto you tight, his face buried in your hair as he lifted you off the ground. You held on just as fiercely, hoping it would sufficiently express just how much you loved him.

Time stopped as Luke held you in his arms. He had a whole crowd waiting for him to sing the next song, but neither of you seemed worried about getting him back onstage. When he finally set you back down, you kissed his cheek a couple times before kissing him properly, your hands on either side of his face.

"Okay, okay, no more of that," you said, when he kept trying to follow your lips as you pulled away from him, wanting just one more kiss. "There'll be plenty of time for that later. Now go. Everyone's waiting for you."

Luke began to turn like he was going to do just as you said, but before he walked away, he spun on his heel and caught you in one last kiss. Satisfied by your tinged cheeks, he grinned and kissed your cheek. "Mean the world to me, darlin.'"

Hearing him say that made you melt every single time, and he knew that. Shoving his shoulder playfully toward the stage, you said, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Now go be a rockstar, will you? You're keeping everyone waiting. Myself included."

Luke finally turned around for real and did just that.

[persona-brainrot-real]

a very long about haru because i love her and im upset about how the game let her story get overshadowed at every turn

its nearly 3am rn but i'm thinking about how genuinely insane it is for persona 5 to introduce Haru as a character who is struggling to find any of her autonomy and treat her the way that they do. her father is marrying her off to a man who makes it explicitly clear he wants to use her for sex and even Okumura, in his palace, is shown to understand this.

[ID: three screenshots of Persona five royal. In the first, Haru in her Phantom Thief outfit says "Father! You want me to be that mans plaything to satisfy your own ambitions?" the second is of Shadow Okumura, looking angry, saying "This is the only value you've had from the very beginning. The third image is before the boss fight against the cognition of Haru's fiance. He is saying "let's have fun! I'll play with you until I get bored!"]

even outside of the palace, in their daily life he makes it extremely clear that he has no intent on trusting Haru with company business (likely because he expects the company to be handed off to her husband after he dies) and he doesn't acknowledge her feelings or anything she says to defend her own autonomy (i know this is me reciting everything in the game i do have a point)

[ID: three screenshots of Persona five royal. In the first, Haru is upset as she says "So I'm not even allowed to decide where I will live, am I?". In the second, Okumura is saying "not only do you come home late, you've even stayed out overnight without permission..." looking disapproving. In the third image, Okumura is saying "I have my hands full right now with the company. Don't cause any more trouble for me." He is holding his phone.]

even when she first joins your team, she tries to insist on being useful and fighting, considering this is her request and her fathers palace, and morgana tells her she cant. i know its 'for her own sake' that she cant fight, but considering that Morgana was there when she first awakened and planned on using her to get through a palace alone, its really frustrating to then see him say shes not strong enough to fight in a team.

[ID: two screenshots of persona five royal. Both are taken in Okumura's palace. In the first, Haru is saying "I can fight too! Please, let me join you in battle!". In the second, Morgana is saying "Your persona is too weak to fight safely at the moment. Just leave that side of things to us for now."]

and this comes in AFTER morgana, while using her, gets her to insult his friends on his behalf because hes annoyed with them, even though she's visibly uncomfortable doing so, contradicts what morgana wants her to say, and is shown later to have no real malicious feelings for them - and all of the bitter feelings she DID have were because morgana told her that the PT's were mean and didn't treat him right or didn't need him, which wasn't true to begin with, and is why she has to ask him for direction on what to say,

[ID: Haru looks upset. She stands opposite the Phantom Thieves and looks at Morgana. She is asking him "What was it again?"]

and you bring all of this into a brilliant character of a girl who is so self-assured, so firm on what she wants and her own autonomy - i want to be a Phantom Thief, i want to be a hero, i want to have my autonomy but more importantly i want to earn it, i want to change my fathers heart myself so that he becomes a better person and a better business owner, i want to prove to him that i can be trusted with the company and that i have more worth than being married off - but never really gets to express that? Even when it comes to the fight with Okumura and her chance to have her moment - the moment where Yusuke tells Madarame he's a coward who lost sight of his passion, where Ann gets to tell Kamoshida that he's only alive because she wants him to live through all he's done (both in the palace and the real world), where Futaba gets to talk to her mom directly in a scene that always makes me tear up - Haru's moment to stand up to her father is overshadowed by her father speaking to Morgana instead!!!!!

i know that this could also be a huge meta moment - he sees his daughter standing up to him, defending herself, and dismisses her entirely to try and appeal to the next rational subject, a man, but . the man is a cat. it doesnt work as well if he turns to a cat to be like "well certainly you'll be more reasonable" and turns the focus to Morgana - who has already taken up a lot of time that Haru deserved to have recognised!!!!

i have issues with morgana, yes, and I believe a lot of that arc could have been really useful character building for him if it had been handled slightly better, given more weight and better pacing, but it really wouldn't have been such a big problem for me if it hadn't been pushed so heavily during Haru's character moments, because she is SUCH a good character!!!!

in her first appearance she makes for a really good subversion of what the PT's think that they are. her insistence on working for justice helps them work through their temporary doubt for what their purpose is and by having such a difficult situation happening in her life, she unites them all on something that they have to do. At least until they go to Okumura's palace for the first proper investigation, the intent to rescue Haru from her fiance is more important than the Phan-site and more important than any of Okumura's business practices.

she prioritises everyone elses happiness over her own to the point where she watches her father die on live television and tells the PT's to continue having fun at destinyland without her without considering that they'd want to be there for her. She has always suspected that people only wanted to be her friend for her money - and this seems to have affected her so much that despite being 'secretive about her history' at Shujin, she still doesn't mention at any point whether or not she has friends and is only seen speaking with teachers.

after her fathers death she has no real reason to trust any of the PT's - they were navigating with an unknown method, with no proof to show that what they were doing wouldn't cause a mental shutdown, they barely know each other, and yet she trusts them in spite of this and places her faith in the PT's regardless. even when faced with the person who DID kill her father, she understands that his death was a larger piece in a bigger plan and that it wasn't akechi's fault, it was the fault of Shido for ordering him dead, and in Shido's palace she's able to get the catharsis of killing the cognition of the person who aired her fathers death publicly on TV.

And what I think is a more frustrating part than any of that - where all of the Phantom Thieves, after their palace, get following story beats that increase their importance to make sure that you, as the player, can get attached to them, but the more PT's that join the team, the harder it is to juggle all of those characters and a lot of them have very vocal and prominent personalities that keep them involved. Yusuke's general quirks and behaviour keep him interesting, Makoto has an entire arc that's established ages before she's involved in Kaneshiro's palace, Futaba becoming navigator keeps her relevant, but where Haru's arc is taken over by Morgana in the palace where she's introduced, all subsequent story beats are entirely overtaken by Akechi.

Don't get me wrong, I love Akechi and he is in my brain 24/7, but it is extremely unfortunate that her fathers death immediately kickstarts the section of plot where the PT's realise that they're being tricked, meaning the plot suddenly ramps up, and during the school fair (something Haru is explicitly very excited about), Akechi's growing popularity and prominence in the story takes centre stage, especially as a day later he blackmails the PTs and joins their party.

Again, not complaining about Akechi, its just unfortunate that Haru's main story is clouded over by Morgana having a character arc and then the fan favourite comes in and immediately becomes the most prominent character for almost the entire rest of the game. It's sad because I love Haru but it wasn't until I romanced her that I realised how much I love her and how much there is too her - which ESPECIALLY sucks because it makes the section where you're reassuring her in the velvet room fall so flat compared to how you reassure everyone else.

ALL to say that i think it's wild to have a character whose entire arc routinely revolves around proving herself and reclaiming her autonomy from the men in her life, like her father and her fiance, and having her character arc so heavily influenced and even overshadowed by morgana, a male character. thank you guys for listening and if you disagree with me consider writing what your opinions are on your own post and not on mine :3

Anyway. huge rant post over. Haru is my wife and my girlfriend and my silly rabbit and i think she should be hyped up way more. ESPECIALLY for her showtime attack with makoto because that's fucking adorable. everyone must post one thousand haru okumura positivity posts right now

[ID: a gif of Haru Okumura, in her Phantom Thief outfit, holding her hat with one hand and pointing with the other. She says "I am no longer your subservient puppet!" while looking determined.]

[deadkraker]

CW: child abuse, manipulation and self harm (christ, this is a heavy one)

I think Hope by Roar, Aaron Burke, Evan Bisbee and JEF Wright is such a exile arc ctommy song

LIKE LISTEN;

'Do I need a reason to wake up lonely all the time? I don't wanna see you, but I don't know where to hide' the exile by default isolates Tommy from almost all human interaction, but still, he doesn't want to (at least at the start) see cdream, but because he's so isolated there's no way to really hide away from him.

'some mistakes should not be made, like opening your heart' I personally like to think this as what tommy took away from ctubbo's speech when he exiled tommy. essentially 'do not open yourself up to people, it will end in pain.'

'if your heart's upon your sleeve, then amputate the arm' would be continuation of the betrayal he feels because of that and how he doesn't wish to get close to people or be vulnerable with them anymore after what tubbo did to him. also just self destructive.

'swim in circles, water fills your lungs' the drowning symbolism(I know its not the original meaning btw) and how it is very similar to in-canon ctommy waking up drowning every day during exile, also the 'swimming in circles' symbolising how he is essentially stuck in logstedshire.

'and why should anyone else offer their help? just look at the way you never took care of yourself' is very very similar to the mindset dream instilled upon tommy during this time, why would anyone else care about you since you're such a nuisance?

'I'll be numb, but I'll be free' how tommy gradually starts to decline and just accept the treatment dream is putting him through and how he probably dealt with quite a lot by dissociating.

'my friends will keep me honest' this line is repeated multiple times and sounds almost like a chant, like tommy convincing himself that what dream is doing is for the greater good, having to constantly convince himself if this fact because the reality of the situation is just too much to handle.

'you won't mean a thing to me, now that's what I call progress' this is a very bitter line and I think it's tommy thinking of tubbo and how little he seemingly cares about him [read: the discs] so he basically goes 'no yeah I don't care either! fuck you!' but a lot of that resentment is actually from the way dream treats him, the 'progress' can be tied back to how dream is 'teaching and fixing' tommy, he doesn't hate tubbo, not really, but its easier to direct that hate towards someone you haven't seen in a while and parted on bad terms than the only person who keeps you company and shows you 'kindness' at the moment.

'is this what you mean when you say that you're making it easier?' is another jab at dream, how what he's doing is making tommy miserable and not actually fixing anything like he insists it is.

'now you want your feelings back, now that you're an actor' ..I'll be honest I know I can somehow fit this in but at this very moment I'm coming up with blank. I'll come back to it.

'your monologue was such a mess, a reprehensible pretense' how tommy kept lying to himself about his own well being and just, a lot of other things and how he ultimately knows it.

'guilt's a modus operandi' a reflection of how guilty tommy constantly felt during exile, mostly due to dream blaming him for pretty much everything, and how that was part of the reason he was so desperate to please dream, because if he says I'm good then that will make me feel better right? by the end he holds dreams praise to an insane importance because of how starved of affection he is.

'you thought that hope was so profound' him beating himself up for believing in hope and hating how naive he was.

'what if true love doesn't wait, for everyone to come around?' his new mindset, that basically is just 'not everyone gets an happy ending or the love they want' and how he is one of those people.

the 'everyone will come around' repeats again and again, it could be taken as a hopeful prayer that maybe someone will help him, or a resignation that no one will, I think it's a little bit of both.

honestly, I have so many songs that I link back to ctommy. I know a lot of what I said here isn't the original meanings of the lyrics, but I find it fun to twist the words in a way that fits his narrative while still retaining the main vibe of the song. Hope is originally about the loss of a loved one, and the grief that comes with it and how the protagonist of the song chooses to run away from it. which i do think still fits Tommy, his only other friend during exile was quite literally the ghost of his brother, someone who he at times treated like their alive counterpart. ghostbur and tommy in themselves are honestly a whole can of worms filled with grief and not being able to let go of a loved one but that will be for another post bc this one is already so fucking long. I hope this was even a little decent lol.

[youremyheaven]

buut one more thing, Jupiter women trying to be the dad they never had is so true, I've definitely noticed that. My MIL is Vishakha Moon & she's kinda like, the man of the house. She had a very abusive upbringing with super incompetent parents & she ended up having to take a lot of responsibility for her siblings even as a child.

Of course she ended up with a partner who is- lowkey incompetent. He has some good qualities and he does work and all that, but he is a menacee. He expects her to do eeeverything and acts like a big man baby- he gets mad at her if she doesn't untie his shoes for him when he gets home from work. She gets up every morning at 2am with him without fail, gets his lunch ready, makes him breakfast before he goes to work. She makes him coffee and tea at his whim. He will go to the bathroom to have a shower, not bring his towel, then yell her name out incessantly until she comes and gets it for him.

Tmi but he also has no uh, aim in the bathroom- it's really gross, like, really really gross. I had a word with MIL about it, and I was kinda just like 'yeah I'm sure he doesn't mean to do it but maybe you should have a word with him' and she looked scared and kept trying to change the subject and kinda just went 'I'll make sure I clean it up after he goes in'. Like bro is scared to tell her man child ass husband to clean up after himself 😭 poor girl.. I mean I think she's content with how things are because she grew up with so much worse, so in her mind he's the best, but I did read that Vishakha Moon women in particular can absolutely worship their husbands.

She is veryyy generous but to the point that it's a bit overbearing and I feel bad but like, I live with them all currently and I'm very grateful but sometimes she's doing too much. Like she will come home with a bunch of treats and knick knacks and I'm like- thankyou but where do I even put this?? I have no space because of all of the other things you already gave me 😭💟

Also @makingspiritualityreal made a really good post on here about how in Vishakha, the feminine is debilitated so she finds herself constantly in her masculine and never able to simply rest and be the receiver.

It definitely makes sense that this situation created two children with Venusian Moons.

your MIL's relationship triggered me so much, i've grown up seeing my mom be that way and its always disgusted me 🤮🤮🤮🤢and made me mad 😡😠😠

Vishaka women worshipping their partners is so true. Look at Beyonce, Vishaka Moon and how she seems to blindly love that crusty ass cheating man 🤮🤮

I also think it applies to Vishaka men because Will Smith, Vishaka Moon is also like that with Jada, even though she's literally an energy vampire

Generous to the point of being overbearing is soooo true about Jupiter women,, they be doing TOO much and it lowkey makes you feel guilty because you know that you could never be as giving or endure what they have and still come out without any resentment or bitterness

My friend's mom is Vishaka Moon (and her dad is Bharani Moon but idk his other placements but he seems like a Solar guy tbh) and her parents have a similarly toxic marriage. Her mom packs lunch AND puts it in his car??? before he leaves for work??? she also makes separate meals for her, her dad, her sister, their dog etc :// and everytime she spoke of her mom, it felt like her whole existence revolved around just serving everyone and it always made me sick to my stomach

I'll try to find that post you mentioned <333 tysm for letting me know <33

SKSJDJJDJDK "this situation created 2 children with Venus moons" IS SO REAL IM SHAKINGGG

ive mentioned him before but my Purvaphalguni Moon friend from college was a stereotypical Venusian man (he also had many Swati placements 🥰) and his dad was an alcoholic/generally incompetent guy who never did anything and quit working??? a long time ago??? (his elder brother provided for the family) and I remember how he often went grocery shopping or ran errands in the afternoon and sometimes rushed to go home bc his mom was waiting for him 😭😭🥺everytime he spoke to his mom on the phone, he became the softest guy ever and it made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺

unlike Lunar men who are complete mama's boys (prime example, Ranbir Kapoor, Shravana Moon),, Venusian men are more mama's little helper type dudes. The difference between Lunar and Venusian men (I'm mentioning these two specifically bc they're both Yin and benefic planets and known for being devoted to their mom) is that Lunar men kind of become extremely passive and dependent on their mom and Venusian men bend over backwards to provide for her and take care of her.

Two different reactions to having a loving mom

I once knew a Rohini Moon man who told me he hasn't been eating right for a few weeks because his mom had gone to stay with her family overseas 💀💀💀and I was like??? do you just not eat then??? and he was like "yeah I have no appetite without her feeding me" 💀💀💀and mind you he was 24 years old lmao and ik some of you will say "aww thats so cute" blah blah ITS NOT CUTE, a grown ass man starving himself (all he ate was bread apparently bc he didn't like eating out 💀💀) bc his mommy wont feed him IS INSANE EWWW. i ghosted him after that conversation lmfao bc i cannot stand that passive raja beta behaviour

In India, we have something called "raja beta syndrome" which is rooted in son preference (unfortunately sex selective abortions and female foeticide/infanticide is vvvv common in india) and most men grow up being treated like royalty (raja= king, beta = son). This is why Indian men are losers lmao because they've been spoonfed their whole lives by their moms/families and they expect their wives to also be doormats and serve them for the rest of their lives.

Lunar men give me raja beta vibes :///

I like my Venus men who grew up trying to make their moms lives easier and trying to give HER royal treatment because they want to be the one who treats her right<333 these are the only kind of mommy issues I'll accept <333 like oh you dont want me to run errands or pay the bills because your mom had to work so hard and it gives you trauma to think ill have to do that and make you feel like you've failed as a man?? dw king i gotchu <333 go get those errands done.🥰🤪😜

[sorcharavenlock]

24 trust issues

I wake up the next morning, Loki isn't in the kitchen. I have breakfast by myself, do the dishes and get dressed. Still, Loki hasn't floated up the stairs to get his breakfast which is unlike him.

I hesitate for a moment, then make my way into the basement.

"Loki? Are you okay?"

Loki is still in bed, his back towards me. He doesn't answer.

"Loki?" I ask again.

"Just go away, please." His voice sounds flat and dull.

I've never seen him this down before, he is normally so full of energy!

(Loki is bipolar. He has had a manic episode these past few days, but now he suffers from depression.)

I sit down on the side of the bed. I'm not going to leave him like this.

"We will find a way to bring you back," I say, wondering if that is what is worrying him. "Maybe we should try and contact Thor..."

"Please don't," Loki's voice is still oddly flat.

"But he has contacts we don't have! He knows people who are powerful, who might be able to help! He has access to space travel! It would give us so many more options!" I argue. "and he misses you, I'm sure of it! When he thought you had died after the Dark Elf attack, he spoke of you so often in interviews, about how you avenged your Mother and died a hero..."

Loki realises I won't leave him alone. Wearily, he sits up.

"Thor loves me when he thinks I'm dead. Not so much when I'm alive," Loki says bitterly. "Oh, certainly, he mourns me, right until I appear. Then I am suddenly a 'lying, scheming, greasy little weasel' again. Our bond was broken a long time ago. He made that very clear. He left me behind in Sakaar. I had to find my own way back to Asgard."

"I'm so sorry," I say. "I didn't know that." I'm shocked Thor would do that to his own brother.

"Why are you so surprised? Thor is just like everyone else; only interested to further his own goals and glad to stab you in the back when you least expect it! The quicker you learn that lesson, the better."

"That is not true! I am sorry that Thor treated you that way, but not everyone is like that. You have me now, and Nea and Kitty. You have friends who have your back!"

"in my experience, friends are just as quick to turn their backs on you, the moment you make one mistake. I had known mine for centuries. But, oh, how quick they were to threaten to kill me! They practically formed a queue!"

"Everyone turned their back on me. Everyone lied. No one has ever been on my side." Loki sounds bitter.

Even the person I loved the most in the universe lied to me. She meant the world to me. She broke my heart. Everyone lies. Everyone turns their back on you eventually. I'll never trust anyone again."

I wondered who she was, she must have been special to him. I suppress a pang of jealousy.

"I'm sorry your girlfriend lied to you too, but.."

"Beg your pardon?" Loki asks in confusion.

"Your girlfriend? The one who broke your heart..." I'm confused too.

"I was talking about my Mother," Loki explains.

Oh...I know that is just as sad, but I can feel my heart soar! At least there wasn't a girlfriend!

Emboldened, I put my arm around him. He is so sad and heartbroken, and I just want to hold him, hug it all better.

"Well, I can't promise I'll never lie. Everyone tells little white lies sometimes, me too," I say honestly. "But I'll never lie about the big things. and I'll never turn my back on you."

For a moment, Loki leans into the hug.

I wonder if now would be a good time to kiss him.

Luckily, before I can make a mistake, Loki stands up.

"I wish I could believe you, I truly do." I wish I could trust you."

I watch as Loki sadly floats away.

It is becoming more and more clear to me how deeply hurt Loki has been by those he loved and trusted. it will take a while, but maybe just by being there for him and loving him without any strings attached, I can help him heal...

(Loki and Marianna are now soulmates. Loki feels deeply connected to her, which is probably why he opened up a bit.

Loki still has trust issues though! It is going to take some time before their relationship can move forward it seems)

[trinity-mia]

a story as endless as the ocean

the sea of monsters

1.9 red sky in morning

warnings : none ( lmk if that isn't actually true )

word count : 2.5k

1.9 The King of the Titans Installs His Back-Up Plan Just in Case He Can't Manipulate Me or I Die (Whichever Comes First)

That afternoon was one of the happiest I'd ever spent at camp, which probably goes to show, you never know when your world is about to be rocked to pieces.

Grover announced that he'd be able to spend the rest of the summer with us before resuming his quest for Pan. His bosses at the Council of Cloven Elders were so impressed that he hadn't gotten himself killed and had cleared the way for future searchers, that they granted him a two-month furlough and a new set of reed pipes.

The only bad news: Grover insisted on playing those pipes all afternoon long, and his musical skills hadn't improved much. He played "YMCA," and the strawberry plants started going crazy, wrapping around our feet like they were trying to strangle us. I guess I couldn't blame them, seeing as I wanted to strangle his 'music' too. However illogically that was phrased. But, because I was a good friend, I managed to restrain myself and not break them. Though, I wasn't about to make any promises if he started on Hilary Duff again.

Grover told me he could dissolve the empathy link between us, now that we were face to face, but I had simply rolled my eyes and told him not to be an idiot. He put down his reed pipes and stared at me. "But, if I get in trouble again, you'll be in danger, Allie! You could die!"

"I'm a demigod, Grover," I scoffed back. "Dying's in the job description." I gave him a stern, unyielding look that said I wasn't going to back down on this. "If you get in trouble again, I want to know about it. And I'll come to help you again, Grover. I wouldn't have it any other way."

In the end, he agreed not to break the link. He went back to playing "YMCA" for the strawberry plants. I didn't need an empathy link with the plants to know how they felt about it. I suspect I did everyone a favor when I confiscated the reeds and rapped him around the head with them. 

As for Tyson, the campers treated him like a hero. I would've been happy to have him as my cabin mate forever, but that evening, as we were sitting on a sand dune overlooking the Long Island Sound, he made an announcement that completely took me by surprise.

"Dream came from Daddy last night," he said. "He wants me to visit."

I wondered if he was kidding, but Tyson really didn't know how to kid. "Poseidon sent you a dream message?"

Tyson nodded. "Wants me to go underwater for the rest of the summer. Learn to work at Cyclopes' forges. He called it an inter— an intern—"

"An internship?"

"Yes." I let that sink in. I'll admit, I felt a little bitter. Poseidon did seem to actually care about Tyson. But me? He said to my face that I was a mistake. Who wouldn't feel a bit resentful at hearing their parent say that, no matter how they felt about the parent themselves? Then I realized, Tyson was going? Just like that?

"When would you leave?" I asked.

"Now."

"Now. Like... right now?"

"Now."

"Oh." I stared out at the waves of Long Island Sound. The water was glistening red in the sunset. I could feel tears pricking my eyelids. "I'm happy for you, bub," I managed. "Seriously."

"Hard to leave my new sister," he said with a tremble in his voice. "But I want to make things. Weapons for the camp. You will need them."

Unfortunately, I knew he was right. The Fleece hadn't solved all the camp's problems. Annabeth and Cody were both still out there, gathering an army aboard the Princess Andromeda. Kronos was still re-forming in his golden coffin. Eventually, we would have to fight them. War was inevitable, and the Great Prophecy loomed over my head like a Sword of Damocles. I would turn nineteen in a little over three weeks, meaning I would be exactly two years away from my much-dreaded twenty-first birthday.

"You'll make the best weapons ever," I told Tyson. I held up my bracelet proudly. "The best. No contest."

Tyson sniffled. "Brothers and sisters help each other."

"You're my brother," I vowed. "No doubt about it."

He patted me on the back so hard he almost knocked me down the sand dune. Then he wiped a tear from his cheek and stood to go. "Use the shield well."

"I will, bub."

"Save your life someday."

The way he said it, so matter-of-fact, I wondered if that Cyclops eye of his could see into the future.

"Just like its creator," I answered softly as he headed down to the beach and whistled, the way I'd taught him. Rainbow, the hippocampus, burst out of the waves. I watched the two of them ride off together into the realm of Poseidon.

Once they were gone, I looked down at my new bracelet. I pressed the sapphire and the shield spiraled out to full size. Hammered into the bronze were pictures in Ancient Greek style, scenes from our adventures this summer. There was me slaying a Laistrygonian dodgeball player, Luke fighting the bronze bulls on Half-Blood Hill, Tyson riding Rainbow toward the Princess Andromeda, the CSS Birmingham blasting its cannons at Charybdis. I ran my hand across a picture of Tyson, battling the Hydra as he held aloft a box of Monster Donuts.

I couldn't help feeling sad. I knew Tyson would have a fantastic time under the ocean. He would love his internship, of that I had no doubt, not to mention seeing Poseidon, whom he idolized. But I would miss everything about him— his fascination with horses, the way he could fix chariots or crumple metal with his bare hands, or tie our enemies into knots. I'd even miss him snoring like an earthquake in the next bunk all night.

"Hey, Allie."

I turned.

Luke and Grover were standing at the top of the sand dune. I wiped a few stay tears from my eyes. 

"Tyson..." I told them. "He had to..."

"We know," Luke replied softly, his expression gentle as he reached out to smooth down my curls. "Chiron told us."

"Cyclops forges." Grover shuddered. "I hear the cafeteria food there is terrible! Like, no enchiladas at all."

I let out a watery laugh, and he gained a pleased expression. Luke wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Come on, Angel. Time for dinner."

We walked back toward the dining pavilion together, just the three of us together, almost like old times.

A storm raged that night, but it parted around Camp Half-Blood as storms usually did (Thank Olympus for weather wards).

Lightning flashed against the horizon, waves pounded the shore, but not a drop fell in our valley. We were protected again, thanks to the Fleece, safely sealed inside our magical borders.

Still, my dreams were restless. I heard Kronos taunting me from the depths of Tartarus. 

Polyphemus sits blindly in his cave, young heroine, believing he has won a great victory. Are you any less deluded? The Titan's cold laughter filled the darkness of the cavern.

Then my dream changed. I was following Tyson to the bottom of the sea, into the court of Poseidon. It was a radiant hall filled with blue light, the floor cobbled with pearls. And there, on a throne of coral, sat my father, dressed like a simple fisherman in khaki shorts and a sun-bleached T-shirt. I looked up into his tan weathered face and sea-green eyes, all older, but still looking just like me, and he spoke two words: Brace yourself.

I woke with a start.

There was a banging on the door. Grover flew inside without waiting for permission. "Allie!" he stammered. "Luke... on the hill... he..."

The look in his eyes told me something was terribly wrong. Luke had been on guard duty that night, protecting the Fleece. If something had happened— I ripped off the covers, my blood like ice water in my veins. I grabbed a piece of Ambrosia from my secret stash, then threw on a hoodie over my sports bra and pajama pants and shoved on the closest pair of slip-on shoes (which happened to be Gucci slides), while Grover tried to make a complete sentence, but he was too stunned, too out of breath. He wasn't making any sense.

"She's lying there... just lying there..."

Who was she? The only thing I could think was that a new camper must have arrived, deathly injured by the sounds of it.

I ran outside and raced across the central yard, Grover right behind me. Dawn was just breaking, but the whole camp seemed to be stirring. Word was spreading. Something huge had happened. A few campers were already making their way toward the hill as fast as they could, satyrs and nymphs and heroes in a weird mix of armor and pajamas. I spotted Will and his younger sister Kayla Knowles, gripping a box of medical supplies and a quiver of arrows between them as they struggled up the slope.

I heard the clop of horse hooves, and Chiron galloped up behind us, looking grim.

"Is it true?" he asked Grover.

Grover could only nod, his expression dazed.

I tried to ask what was going on, but Chiron grabbed me by the arm and effortlessly lifted me onto his back. Together we thundered up Half-Blood Hill, where a small crowd had started to gather.

I expected to see the Fleece missing from the pine tree, but it was still there, glittering in the first light of dawn. The storm had broken and the sky was bloodred from the rising sun. The color made me queasy, as I remembered an old phrase one of my directors had often spouted. Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky in morning, sailor's warning.

"Curse the titan lord," Chiron said. "He's tricked us again, given himself another chance to control the prophecy. He's given himself a backup plan."

"What do you mean?" I asked fearfully.

"The Fleece," he answered me in a grim tone of voice. "The Fleece did its work too well."

That was, as you may have guessed, completely unhelpful. We galloped forward, everyone moving out of our way. There at the base of the tree, a girl was lying unconscious. Luke was pale-faced and dressed in Greek armor as he knelt next to her. He didn't glance back as we cantered up to the group.

"My gods," he was muttering repeatedly. "My gods. My gods."

My instinctual fear caused blood to roar in my ears. I couldn't think straight. What had happened? Was Luke hurt? Was the Fleece still there? Still undamaged?

The tree itself looked perfectly fine, whole and healthy, suffused with the essence of the Golden Fleece.

"It healed the tree," Chiron said, his voice ragged. "And poison was not the only thing it purged."

Luke finally looked away from the girl at the sound of Chiron's voice. When he saw us, he ran to Chiron. "It... she... just suddenly there..."

His eyes were streaming with tears uncharacteristically, but I still didn't understand. I was too freaked out to make sense of it all. I leaped off Chiron's back and ran toward the unconscious girl. Chiron said: "Allie, wait!"

I knelt by her side. She had short black hair and freckles across her nose. She was built like a long-distance runner, lithe and strong, and she wore clothes that were somewhere between punk and Goth— a black T-shirt, black tattered jeans, and a leather jacket with buttons from a bunch of different bands.

She wasn't a camper. I didn't recognize her from any of the cabins. And yet I had the strangest feeling I'd seen her before...

"It's true," Grover said, panting from his run up the hill. "I can't believe..."

Nobody else came close to the girl.

I put my hand on her forehead, trying to use my rudimentary first-aid skills to assess her. Her skin was cold, but my fingertips tingled as if they were burning.

"She needs nectar and ambrosia," I said. She was clearly a half-blood, whether she was a camper or not. I could sense that just from one touch. I didn't understand why everyone was acting so scared. I shot a scathing look at the medics, who were as frozen as everyone else.

Breakdowns are for later people. Not when there's someone in desperate need of medical aid lying unconscious in front of you. Gods! Well, if none of them were going to help, I would.

I took her by the shoulders and lifted her into a sitting position, resting her head on my shoulder. Then I pulled out the small piece of ambrosia from my pocket. I pinched her nose to make her open her mouth, popped in the ambrosia, and massaged her throat to make her swallow. For a moment, nothing happened.

Then the girl took a shaky breath. She coughed and opened her eyes.

Her irises were startlingly blue— electric blue.

The girl stared at me in bewilderment, shivering and wild-eyed. "Who—"

"I'm Allie," I said, keeping my tone soothing like I was talking to Nessa's little half-brother, or one of the camp's younger kids (usually about five to seven, but there was a four-year-old son of Apollo who had come after his mother's death. I'll give Apollo this, he made certain that none of his children ended up in the foster system). "You're safe now."

"Strangest dream..."

"It's okay."

"Dying."

"No," I assured her. "You're okay. What's your name?" That's when I knew. Even before she said it. I had seen those eyes before, not just in a picture and I had heard that voice before too. "Wait."

The girl's blue eyes stared into mine, and I understood what the Golden Fleece quest had been about. The poisoning of the tree. Everything. Kronos had done it to bring another chess piece into play— another chance to control the prophecy. If I died or he couldn't find a way to control me, he had a backup plan.

Even Chiron, Luke, and Grover, who should've been celebrating this moment, were too shocked, thinking about what it might mean for the future, and the war. And I was holding someone who was supposed to have died seven years ago in my arms.

"I am Thalia," she said, unaware of the turmoil she was about to cause the world. "Daughter of Zeus."

*    *    *

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SERIES M.LIST | MAIN M.LIST | TIPS

[lenavaz]

TASK #11 WRITE A LETTER

Dear abuela,

It's a funny feeling, to miss you, while knowing that I can drive to North Shore and spend an afternoon watching your favorite soap operas or coloring in those fancy books that you bought the other day. But I miss you in the way that you miss someone who is there, within arm's reach, but not really with you.

Today, I cleaned your house. This isn't really out of the ordinary, because you'd be proud of how nice the house looks. Every day, I wash the dishes in the sink, I feed Pepper and clean up any stray food from the floor, scoop his litter box, dust and broom, and make sure the laundry is done, folded, and put away. I make sure Pearl's tank is clean, and that the windows shine, and the beds are made. When Marisol comes over, we put away all the toys after play time, and arrange the make-up on the vanity after makeovers. And your garden spaces are pristine in the warm months.

I still have to remind myself that they aren't your spaces, it's not your house, it's mine. But it'll always be yours in a lot of ways.

Sometimes, I wish that you hadn't agreed to live at North Shore. I tell myself that I could have taken care of you, that things would have been fine. I could have found work from home, or dad could have moved in with us (though you would have killed him, I'm sure of it). There are parts of me that feel like I failed you, because you never should have left home, and I don't want you to be disappointed.

But then, I see how you rule the roost. I watch you boss those little old ladies around and elbow gentleman for the sweetest treat in the bunch, and I know that you're going to be okay.

And I'm doing okay, too. I know, growing up, that I worried you. Not because of who I was, not because of the decisions that I made. You were my number one supporter when the time came for me to transition, and you were the first person to call me by my name, the first person to kiss my forehead and nickname me Lena when I cried about being nervous to go back to school. No matter how scared I was, I knew that you were going to be there for me, that you would have my back. I know that you talked to dad, I know that you convinced him that my decisions were my own, and they were right. And I know that you're a big part of the reason why he was willing to listen, to hear me out, and I'm so grateful for that. But I know that you always worried about me when you brushed my hair and told me that the world was big and the world was mean, and my heart was soft, and I needed to be so careful with that. I have been, abuela. And I've built a nice life for myself.

I have friends in Lupine Lane, young people like me who want that community feeling that you always talked about. We host barbecues and we watch movies together on cold nights. Noa's dog is in love with my cat, and Monique's daughter is the perfect age to be a playmate for Marisol. My job at Universal Rocks is amazing, Amina is the best boss that a person could ask for (I have so many rocks now), and I'm getting more work as a make-up artist. I'm doing make-up for a wedding in just a few weeks! I'm making friends that I never imagined I'd make, and although that whole true love thing still alludes me, I love love. I'm not bitter about it. I like to think that for all those times that you smoothed back my hair and told me that my soft heart needed to be protected, you would now be proud of how I lead myself forward with that soft heart.

I'll be seeing you soon, probably one night this week. I'll sneak you sweets and that coffee that you're not supposed to have, maybe bring Marisol along to help you start decorating your room for Halloween, bring you the decorations that we picked out from Creek Fest. I won't give you this letter, because I think it's one of those things better kept in my notebook, tucked away. And besides, I can tell you in person.

I love you. I miss you. I hope you know that I'm okay.

xo your Lena

[soir-rouges-esprit]

xxvi.e: Son of Salem, He spits on my face ... “NO … You helped him leave The City back then huh, you had old lady blackmail our boss to get you free of your debt huh?” Help escape The City? Old lady? Black Mail and Debt? He slaps my ear again so hard, I can feel it sting and start to bleed. “YOU TRY TO FUCK ME HUH? THINK I'M A STUPID HUH? I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU UNDERSTAND BITCH” Then … it clicked, a while back, I had helped The Jester escape The City … helped him leave and escape an insane Mexican drug lord we had worked for, well ... The Jester worked for, and I helped to get him off the street, and put a little extra cash in my pocket. You see we didn't exactly leave on good terms … he suspected I helped him disappear out of The City to help escape out of the drug lords influence, so he could stop working for him, he and I both had seen too much you could say, there was no leaving peacefully. And in that, he ended up putting this “Debt” on my head, that I apparently owed him. Me being me … I went to see an old friend and “Other Mother” of mine named Mrs.Van she was a Vietnamese kingpin in the Vietnamese mafia, and had taken care of me and The Jester when we were young little shits, running around The City when we were super poor, me homeless/a runaway. She had offered us housing, food, clean clothes, jobs, and of course … money. All-to-do drug runs for her as kids … no one would expect a child with a school backpack to be carrying around bricks of coke and baggies filled with countless grams of pot to sell to the rich and addicted. I more or less, owed her a lot, we had separated for a few years, about three, one year before my collapse … then the two that were my collapse. After my involvement in helping The Jester escape The City back then, I needed to secure my own safety … so … I went to the only person I knew who'd have the power to actually do that. Mrs.Van. She ended up agreeing to do so, so long I explained my absence and caught her up on The Jester, as well … run a few jobs for her … free of course. And boy did I … and boy did I hate life. But she managed to shake the fucking dirty thug for me, incidentally … by blackmailing him. Never found out what the blackmail was, but she did it. Then life went back to normal pretty much, like I hadn't passed off a crazy drug lord and basically had his life or business or whatever threatened so he'd stay away from me. And well … seems he had caught word of my much-awaited return to The City, and must have been keeping tabs on me. And so now … he was probably gonna have me tortured … laundered off to some high bitter or used as a token to structure some deal against Mrs.Van. Little does he know … she does not do hostage situations, merely drops the hostage as well the drifter trying to swindle her. She'd say “You get caught, you get ransomed, you ruin my business, you are liability and will be cut off like dirty asshole who tries to get one on me” so now … I let this Spanish fuck keep swearing at me while I wait for my indefinite doom. He continues on, saying how you should have never did what I did … I should have known better … and can't fuck over a true mother fucker, etc. Gangster mumbo jumbo really. All the while my head is racing with so many thoughts, I'll never get to tell The Knight about the words his dad had left with me the night after his twenty-first birthday. How I wanted The Jester and I to take that trip to the mountains like we always wanted to, that I was finally ready. And to The Imp … well, there was just too much to say … one of which was to thank her, for when she helped me years ago with Aurora, told me everything I was doing wrong … and how I needed to treat her and everyone else better, and how they had all actually discussed me being a problem, that without her help … I would have lost them all much sooner than I did, that she was so special for what she did, and I needed to thank her. I try to loosen my restraints silently and in an inconspicuous manner, to no avail … [To Be Continued]

[reallunargift]

gonna blabber more because yes, as unsubtle as my shippy art and tags can be, I also imagine them as quite... low-key a lot of the time. Of course there is passion and drama and conflict (SO much conflict), but the trope of looking at the one you love fondly without telling them outright how you feel is *chef's kiss* and Presságio is perfect for that and at the end of this post I talk more about it. But mostly I'll talk about Port and nyo!Spain and I don't promise much coherence, it's more of a stream of consciousness.

Ok so I think about these two a lot and while my base personality for the canonverse and nyoverse characters is the same, the way they were treated in society was not and that influenced their development and the way they interact with others.

I've said before that Port's way of expressing his feelings for Toni varied depending on whether they were on equal terms/his own power. The same is true when it comes to nyo!Spain, except I think it was easier to make his feelings clearer without having to spell them out. Because there were certain conventions to follow and expectations, and I see them taking full advantage of those.

You look at courtly love and all and see small gestures/gifts being taken as obvious declarations of love. Stuff that could be brushed off as "they're best friends, what a strong friendship :)" between two men or two women would be seen as clearly romantic with a man and a woman. (Of course the other side of the coin is that chances to be alone with each other were harder to come by than with regular spaport or nyo!spaport)

Also I like to imagine the reps travelling to attend royal weddings if possible because it's more opportunity for interactions, and Portugal had so many with the neighbouring kingdom that Port and nyo!Spain would have met under friendly circumstances many times. I'm especially unhinged about Manuel I and Isabel of Aragon and the sense they must have faced that holy shit this is it, they're really gonna merge the kingdoms with Miguel's birth, better start acting like the married couple you're gonna be soon. It did not go that way, of course (not until later and in different circumstances anyway), but I think here was when most of the obvious shows of love would have happened on Port's part.

I'm super worried about making spa/port ever seem like a sea of roses because it's not, and not acknowledging the bad times is the one thing that turns me off of a ship immediately, so again, there was a LOT of conflict between Port and nyo!Spain too. Things could get nasty real quick, but that's part of why I love them too, and it makes the sweet moments all the sweeter. Because ah look at what could be. It also makes the bitter moments all the more bitter. I can't explain it, but if something seems possible yet is not happening... it must be because one (or both) is choosing not to make it happen. It's a choice, a conscious refusal, and that hurts more.

But that's not the point of this post, the point of this post is to ramble about these two while my food is in the oven, but especially that specific flavour of soft and unspoken love, of Port gifting nyo!Spain a fan and the next time seeing her use it while talking to someone or other about politics and smiling to himself before doing the same. The warmth in his heart when centuries later they're all having an informal get together and it's a hot afternoon and she whips it out and fans herself while complaining about the sangría.

--

So Presságio's lyrics are actually the poem "O amor, quando se revela" by Fernando Pessoa, just with some stanzas repeating. There are quite a few musical adaptations, but Júlio Resende's piano really embodies the softness that I imagine for this trope with Port and nyo!Spain.

.

Love, when it reveals itself, Does not know how to reveal itself. It knows well* how to look at her But does not know how to speak to her.

Someone who wants to say what he** feels Does not know what to say. He speaks: it looks like he lies... He keeps quiet: it looks like he forgets...

Ah, but if she could guess If she could hear the look And if a look was enough for her To know that she is being loved!

But someone who feels a lot, keeps quiet; Someone who wants to say how much he feels Ends up with no soul nor speech Ends up alone, entirely!

But if this could tell her What I do not dare tell her, I will no longer have to speak to her Because I am speaking to her...

--

*Sabe bem can mean two things: To know well, and to taste/feel good. So this line means "(the lover) knows well how to look at her (the beloved)" and "it feels good (for the lover) to look at her (the beloved)"

**I used "he" for ease of reading because in pt the personal pronouns are dropped and using "one" seemed a little too fancy but using "they" ran the risk of making it seem like different perspectives are in play when it's all from one person's point of view.

--

And yeah, listening to it gives me the most vivid image of Port looking at nyo!Spain as she does whatever mundane little thing, sighing in mild frustration at the impossibility, and continuing staring. idk, I love yearning and so does he

Also I know I didn't really go into nyo!Spain's side much in this post, partly because the song/poem that sparked it made me think of Port's pov, but I think she's more frustrated than him lmao. Because she knows how he feels, yet it's him also doing most of the stubborn refusing, and then he has the gall to look at her like that, like they're some impossible, doomed thing.

I am once again thinking about them (PortxnyoSpa) and how perfectly salvador’s presságio fits them 😔

[nyxdelanuit]

Please Let Me Take You Ch 8

Hello, my little constellations! I'm sorry for my long absence, I never intended to be away for so long! I am happy to finally give you all a new chapter though, surprise! I hope you all enjoy~ Also, I apologize in advance, this chapter is a little shorter than I intended, but I'll make up for it soon!

Bakugou x F!Reader, Kirishima x F!ReaderTWs: Cheating, angst, unhealthy/abusive relationship, manipulation, smut

MASTERLIST

You had tried your best to enjoy the rest of the time with your friends, watching them bicker fondly with each other and coo over their baby. They weren't the picture-perfect family, but they were real. Real love and real issues, real communication, and it was both a breath of fresh air and an ache in your chest you couldn't quite place. That alongside the frequent vibrations coming from your phone in your pocket made it hard to focus on the good parts. Not when your flaws were shining so brightly in your eyes, showing just how far behind you've fallen.

Still, you managed your goodbyes with sincere smiles, ignoring the way Izuku looked at you with a pity that curdled in your stomach. You didn't blame him for pointing out a truth you had been gleefully ignoring for months now. As you slid into the driver's seat of the car, one thought slipped from your mind and sat sour on your tongue. Were you just replacing one bad relationship with another? Your friendship with Ejirou was a balm to you, a sweetness you craved, but underneath the candy coating, was it just as bitter as your relationship? The both of you had blindly covered the bad parts, showing each other just enough of your flaws to feel vulnerable with each other while still keeping that wall up. But who was the wall protecting this time? Were your thoughts even making sense anymore?? You belatedly realized you probably shouldn't linger in the driveway for too much longer, the last thing you needed was more pitying looks and whispered worry. But before you move, you really should swallow the cowardly desire to ignore the messages still flashing on your phone.

Eijirou: You know I'm always down to talk

Eijirou: That sounded a little serious though, everything alright?

Eijirou: You're okay, right? Did something happen?

Eijirou: Honestly, I really want to head over and check on you, but…

Eijirou: Idk, that kinda feels like I'm skipping some steps, or crossing some boundaries.

Eijirou: I hope you're alright, and I'll give you some space, but just let me know you're good when you can. We can talk when you're ready.

Eijirou: Can I send Mina to you or something? I just want you to have someone on your side if you're not doing good…

Your eyes ran over the words with a deep sigh. You really should have checked while you were inside. You may be questioning some things, but that didn't mean you can just torture the poor guy… You can only imagine what he's been thinking this whole time.

You: I'm so sorry, I've been with Ochako. I'm alright, promise. There's just some things I want to clear up

You were about to put your phone down and finally leave, but your phone went off before you could even turn the car on.

Eijirou: lol I guess I was overreacting a little, huh? Glad you're safe tho!!! You want to meet somewhere?

You chewed on your lip as you thought. Maybe you were just procrastinating, wanting to protect this version of your friendship for just a little longer, but you just didn't know if you could handle that talk right now.

You: I'm a little tired… do you have any time tomorrow?

Eijirou: Yeah, no problem!! Wanna grab lunch or something?

You: Yeah, that sounds great. I'll find a place and send you the address. We can meet up there at like noon?

You were sure he noticed that you didn't give him a chance to offer to drive, but he was too polite to bring it up.

Eijirou: Sounds great! (: My treat, so find something good!

Even now, he was being too nice, especially after that scare you gave him. How did that saying go? If it seems too good to be true, it probably is? That's what this whole thing felt like. He just showed up at the best time… and now it felt like he held all your happiness in the palm of his hand. It was dangerous. How did you keep getting yourself into these kinds of messes?

You had finally gotten yourself home, tossing your keys into the dish on the counter as you headed towards the bathroom. The best medicine for this growing headache you had was a long, mindless shower. Just wash off all of the stress and worry and weird thoughts you've been having.

You stood under the water and just… existed. You let yourself be in the space and forced the tension from your limbs, standing under the spray until you felt like jelly. Your sigh almost echoed in the pristine space, but for this moment, at least the space was yours. After you felt a little less like a ball of tension and more human-adjacent, you moved onto actually cleaning yourself off. You skipped the sweet and spicy scents that usually filled the bathroom for something a bit lighter, a little minty and maybe floral, you weren't the best at placing the scents… but it was different. Something Katsuki was probably gifted from one of the many companies trying to curry favor from one of the top heroes. But you had decided to claim it. It was now yours, your scent, separate from the same sights, same smells, everything perfectly in place. Except for you… when did you stop fitting in? Did you ever in the first place?

There it was again, those thoughts. It's not like they were doing you any good, but once you started, it seemed like you couldn't stop. You should be grateful, though. Katsuki provided all of this, even the opportunity to stand out. What would you really have without him? You didn't really have anywhere else to go, all of your friends were his friends. All your clothes and food were paid for with his card. Even your car, he was listed on the title and paid for insurance and maintenance… It sat heavy in your stomach even after you forced the thoughts from your head.

You wrapped yourself in a robe, stepping from the bathroom and hoping you'd find something reasonably comfortable that didn't get caught in the crossfire of your previous fight, belatedly hearing the lock on the front door. Your curiosity got the best of you, peeking towards the entrance before you even heard him.

"Come on out, shitty girl, grab these bags!" It shouldn't have come as a surprise. He was your fiance, and this was his home. You weren't even on the title. Your feet were moving before you could even finish your thought, the traitorous things, finding him in the living room with an armful of bags. Without thinking of it, your eyes drifted to where your degree had adorned the wall, expecting to see the blank wall and being surprised with an admittedly artistic shot of Katsuki's agency, in black and white of course.

"Oi, what are you wearing? You could have at least dressed…" You could feel your eyes threatening to roll at his words, but somehow you held them back.

"Sorry, Katsuki. I thought you'd want help sooner rather than later." He quickly started passing over the bags, heavier than you expected.

"Whatever, just put these away. I figured it was time to update your wardrobe." You peeked inside the bag, full of soft greys and light oranges, and your confusion must have shown on your face. "Don't give me that look. I know what looks best on you, and it's about time you start dressing like you're my future wife." He huffed as you looked away from the bag.

"Right… thank you, Katsuki." The words felt oddly hollow. You supposed you were happy for some more clothes, although you weren't sure they were really for you… but he had obviously spent time and money, a lot of money, on getting these things for you.

"That's a better reaction. Put those away, I'll grab dinner." The way he fell back into his routine made your head spin. It was like nothing ever happened. Should you bring it up? No. No, not right now. You shouldn't ruin the tenuous calm in the house, rejecting the well-meaning peace offering he had brought home. No, you should just be happy that he's fixing his mistake. This was fixing it, right? Actions that spoke louder than words? Katsuki always had a problem with words…

You put the new clothes away in silence, feeling the cost in each thread even as you noticed the high necklines, the longer sleeves, and the lack of anything but floor-length hems on any pants or dresses. Was this how a wife looks to Katsuki? Modest to a fault and dressed in his colors? Yet you accepted it, for now. Dressed in a pair of regrettably comfortable pants and a cozy grey sweater over your undershirt. Surely this would make him happy, right?

As you stepped out of the room, you were greeted with such amazing smells. He had set up takeout on the coffee table, putting on a show the two of you had started together years ago and had yet to finish. There was even a cocktail waiting for you, and a noticeable lack of spice wafting from the food. He looked up at you as you looked away, not wanting to meet those bright red eyes. "I knew it would look good on you. Now hurry up and sit, I don't have all night."

"Thanks, this smells amazing." You gave him a smile, you think, as you sat down, cautiously taking a bite of your food as he started the show.

"Of fucking course it does, I have good taste." And with that, the two of you fell quiet, trying to ignore the heavy butterflies in your stomach and eat your food. It was so good, something you would normally eat without hesitation, but you paced yourself around the uneasy feeling, draining your drink before you even got halfway through.

Katsuki noticed, of course. You used to admire how perceptive he was. Used to? When did that change… "You better not be turning into some sort of fucking lush." He chuckled, but the sound feels miles away. He sounds like he's teasing, but it still puts you on edge as you laugh along with him, although you don't know why. He stands and takes your glass with him, returning with another drink. At least the alcohol dulls your nerves, slowly sipping away at it as the show wraps up.

"Finish up and get ready for bed. I've got an early morning, I can't have you keeping me up." He takes the trash and dishes away, leaving you nursing your drink and staring at an empty screen. There's only so long you can take here, only a few sips left and no more excuses you can make. The last few sips taste bitter.

When you finally finish, rinsing your glass once and then again, the odd feeling returns tenfold. If you had been sober, you might have wondered if this was what it felt like being led to execution, the way you walk without any emotion down the hall. It's pure muscle memory the way you strip off the clothes hiding your figure, the way you let Katuski lead you to bed and pose you face down, hand heavy on the back of your neck. And when he finally finds his end behind you, falling into bed and then quickly into sleep, you wonder how long you had been holding your breath. Even then, when you could breathe, the air was heavy and humid, filled with him.

It was naive to think you had made a space for yourself here. He existed, even in the air.

[devilslinks]

# 𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗔 !

— 𝗖𝗟𝗨𝗕 𝗙𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 | 𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗔, 𝗧𝗢𝗣 𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥.

wc; ( 3.2k )

synopsis; your best friend, raihan and you find yourselves eager to get intoxicated in one another's company. what better place than a night-club, dim lights, the overwhelmin' musk of the various alcoholic beverages; it's every guy pairs wet dream. that is until raihan gets shit-faced and excuses himself to the restroom while he pukes up his spiked guts. only to return to watch his sister take you balls deep, down her throat.

a/n: no brain, only nessa and her magical throat 🤝

warnings. MINORS DNI, NSFW CONTENT, family!au, raihan and nessa are siblings, club sex, intoxication, dirty talk, the name princess, deep throating, oral (m receiving), throat bulge, throat fucking, cum eating, flirty!nessa, jealous!raihan, exhibitionism, voyeurism.

euphoria.

that was the only word that came mind when raihan and you got involved in recreational activities like you did. galar was a go big or go home type of region, and the two of you stayed true to that motto. the itchy, messily thrown together suits that matched all the way down to the type of socks you had on— the overexcessive amounts of booze, and the loud music which just barely drowned out the fits of laughter and discussion littered throughout the packed club. as soon as the doors opened, flooding your senses with nothing but the sickly sweet, aroma of sex and other intoxicating chemicals; that's how you knew the had night begun.

the two of you had been indulging, before you arrived on the scene— time seemed to blur together with head-spinning speeds or come to a full halt at the worst of moments. you don't even know how long you'd been locking eyes with the transparent shapes and manufactured blurbs dancing across the wall a good, twenty, maybe thirty feet adjacent to your seat at the drink counter. the weight of something too heavy for your alcohol infused mind to register until the bar hostess was practically brewing with irritation at your non-compliance with her attempts to have you regain control of your dazed state; sat lazily in-between your pointer finger and thumb, respectively.

hell you don't even remember waddling over to the bar with the company you had brought with you. but you didn't mind, the painfully challenging to recall memories mattered not when there was already another drink swirling around the rim of your shot-glass. raihan's shifty frame wiggling in and out of your peripherals as you tug the half-empty cup to the skin of your lips, craning your head back to knock down whatever liquid remained at the bottom. the delicious burn of toxins coated the lining of your throat, trails of steamy fluid leaving their mark as the mystery liquor made it way down your esophagus. whatever it was, it packed a punch and wasted no time forcing your lips to curve into a bitter sneer— eyebrows shadowing your face in a sour demeanor, as you used the hem of your suit sleeve to whisk away any spilt mixture that tarnished your cherry red lips.

you hardly have the chance to open your mouth for a second time to address the swaying body, huddled closer the counter than it is to your own. raihan is a total mess, loopsy, and feverishly hot skin to compliment— he's stained a harsh, sickly green against his natural melanin tone. doubling over in either pain or the sudden flow of too many drinks pooling in his system; whatever the emotion he was enduring was, he wasted not a second longer before hustling off into the large gathering of people. disappearing before his lips could slur the final word, missing from his dialect.

“hh..h fuck- my stomach is gonna explode, i'll catch you-” his gravely tone churning into the backdrop just as quickly as he initiated the conversation; the familiar hum of lyrics to a song you couldn't quite place your finger on replaced whatever words raihan had previously gargled out before dashing off towards the public restrooms.

your head feels like it weighs a metric ton this late into the night, threatening to tumble forward as if your neck had lost any and all of it's support. your eyelids pulling down roughly over your eyes like window shades before the sudden wave of loneliness hit you like a truck. fiddling with the collar of your dress-shirt was entertaining enough to fill the void that was the now empty stool, where your best friend once resided. but that quick fix subsided rather easily and the once overwhelming presence of boredom had returned to take a seat.

and then, so did she.

“shit, rai- back so soon? you alright?” your vision was foggy and adorned with blurry bits here and there— but it was still evident enough to make out that, whoever was indeed now in your friend's seat, was not the person you had chauffeured to the club with.

“damn, do i really look, that bad? it's me, y/n. the painfully better looking sibling. what did that idiot put in your drink?” the speech is followed by a laugh. it was a warm and inviting chuckle, one that seemed to relax every muscle in your liquor tense body the moment she parted her spit silken lips. you had been in her company earlier that evening, which made it a tad easier for your incoherent mindset to process it. but nevertheless it was hard not to distinguish who the women paying you a visit was at this point, even if you hadn't engaged with her previously; nessa was infamous for those enchanting looks. and in your dumbified state, those gorgeous navy locks tied together by aquamarine highlights were one of a kind and stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the room of normal presenting citizens. though your brain didn't want to pick-up any of your surroundings, you found it quite easy to fawn over her in that ebony dress and the way it hugged her curves in all the right places.

“fuck.. nes' when'd you get so.. so.” you couldn't even find the energy or hell, the words to cough up the remainder of the sentence, you were so taken aback by how stunning she was, even behind your bleary, drunk eyes. but nessa wasn't oblivious— you were sure she had picked up the hint you had layed out so bluntly, and the warm palm slowly inching up your clothed thigh secured that suspension for you.

“not even so much as a greeting? you didn't even buy me a drink first; asshole.”

her words are firm, yet so light hearted at the same time; but just enough to set your arousal over the edge. your headspace so vulnerable to teasing that you're certain she knew what she was doing to your conflicted mind and body. her sly fingers are enough to coax you to shuffle your bar-stool closer to her's— not a single word wriggled around your throat in response, instead the tangy after-tase of alcohol still heavy on your tongue distracted you and you were sure the whole bar could acknowledge your intoxicated musk.

her features held so many different emotions at once, as she pryed you for a reply— trying to tell you each one obscured behind that pretty face, way too quickly for you to decipher. her brows furrowed quizzically, one tilted slightly higher than the other as her half lidded doe-eyes stared up at you like prey at a final stand off with their predator; just humbly surrending their body to the circle of life.

“hah, you're one to.. talk, nes' just because 'm out of it- doesn't mean my numb skin can't feel your heavy hand toying with my waistband.” the both of you swiftly changed direction, heads leering down at nessa's free hand. you were infact correct, you observed as the woman swirled shapes into the expensive leather of your belt. pulling bits between her fingers now and then as she silently struggled with the metalic buckle. your groin swelled tightly, gripping your boxers closer to the fat bulge behind your suit pants; it would take an idiot not to take notice of the wrinkled fabric secured around your aching dick. her skin felt like a furnace, contrasting your slightly cooler temperature— but with her body pressing so desperately to yours, you were sure the warmth from her melted over onto your feverish flesh. the damp, sheen of anxious sweat made the fabric of your suit, dewy. sticking slightly against your hellish skin.

“mm, i guess i was wrong about the greeting part— hello there, you look happy to see me.” not a hint of shame obscured her voice, you're miserably watching nessa shift her weight as she now palms at the mound between your legs. you've seen countless renditions of this night loop in your head, but now that the scenario is a reality; it's agonizing to try to contain your primal urges, face to face. it's a chore not to profess all the vile things you wanna carry out with her, but she's already one step ahead. that glare is dangerous, it makes you feel like she's trying convey that the two of you are already in on something devious.

“let me take care of you.. y/n.”

“let me treat you, nessa.”

the both of you drawl out in what would be perfect unison if your mind wasn't foggy and running slower than usual. you had both finally voiced the elephant in the room, the one which was just positively dripping with thick tension up until this moment in time. you're still squirming under nessa's grip, she can feel you whine and pant everytime she gives your cock a light squeeze between her fingers and it's not long before the two of you are absent from the bar and clawing at one another's linen around the corner. closest to any vacant area within eye-shot. well, as vacant as a small room seperated from the bustling club-life can get.

did you think the night would come to a close with your friend's sister skillfully sucking the soul out of your sloppy cock? not in a million years, but you'd be damned if you didn't want it to end on any other note. nessa fell to her knees before the two of you even made it out of view— planting herself in-between your thighs like she was a trained professional; no flaws in her technique as her tongue slid obediently from her mouth and latches onto the moist fabric masking her mouth's destination. nessa's fingers are long and slender, as they snake up your hips and meet at the belt tangled around your waist. you can feel your cock pumping against the seams of your pants, the uncomfortable sensation making it appear as though you'd rip through the cloth if your cock was imprisoned a second longer.

with the head-splitting atmosphere of the club playlist stretching and stuffing your ears to the brim with fast pitched edm that made your skull pound and jitter. as well as the added hum of the gym leader whispering inaudible nothings against your bulge as she at last pushed your pants down, and past your ankles; material getting caught on the fancy design of your shoes. you felt like you were on the brink of death, but the enticing appeal of hooking up with your best friend's relative kept your iron-will alive long enough to rough it out and pass the irritation that came with being black-out drunk.

your storm of worries fizzled just as quickly as they sprung up, maybe it was the alcohol but you swear this girl had the hands of the divine; you were washed away into infatuation once more. nessa's teeth hike up your boxers until they meet the waistline, pulling down on the hem with a familiar aggressiveness as she relishes in the way your big dick pops to life and looms over her lustful features; all chubby 'n decorated with veins fer' her viewing pleasure.

“shit.. i'm gonna have so much fun with your cock. you wanna make your stupid slut already? my mouth is just asking for it.” the first piece is low and almost voiced as if it was meant for her ears only— but the second half is most definitely directed at you; as she tilts her head to plant a few delicate lovebites along the base of your shaft. fingers looping gracefully around your hilt as she admires the girth you carry.

“fuck..” you hiss, cock twitching violently as you pleaded with sinful eyes. she had barely started her reign over your dick before guttural groans and mewls slid past your lips. the sensation of her tiny tastebuds as they trailed over the little glob of pre-cum that drooled from your cockhead was insatiable. the sudden action sent your hips forward almost automatically, like they instinctively acted on impulse; it felt so right. merely a few inches breached past her lips but there was enough speed and prowess in your thrust to drag a surprise gag from the mouth attached to your dick.

impatience was on the horizon, the buzz from copious amounts of alcohol had knocked down a few pegs. you were now fully aware of the figure positioned at your feet like she was praying for a god, and soon you'd make her chant like she was being fucked by one as well. broad fingers clamped down, squishing both sides of her jaw while simultaneously easing your length deeper, and deeper down her gullet like your dick was her last meal on earth. you throw your head back before letting it fall forward against the wall, watching those desperate dark iris' pool with puddles of lust that seem to be neverending.

“come'on princess, you know how badly you want this-- you gonna let me ruin this pretty throat?” you thumb over her warm cheeks, eyes glossy and threatening to ruin the simple makeup she applied before she arrived. the uncomfortable stretch of her esophagus molding as your cock fills the empty gaps in her throat with every inch you have; is one that isn't unfamiliar to her. dragging your pulsating veins along the dip in her mouth, her tongue greedily laps up any and all of the skin yet to be consumed by her.

“jesus.. fuck, oh fuck. take it, nes'. shit.” your cock fully slips into her, heavy and swollen as it spears her right down the middle; eyes rolling back into her skull as it's just too fucking big. bigger than anything she's previously had inside of her, anyway. your core bleeds with spots of warmth as you take the time to bask in the way every individual wall in her mouth feels as it constricts you almost painfully. sucking you in before she slides you back out of her throat once more; repeating the tedious cylce that has the two of you in a heated frenzy.

despite all the sudden and erratic pain, nessa bobs her head in sync, coaxing you to go as deep as humanly possible. rocking your hips as they snap against her face with every good fuck you give her— watching yourself grow rapidly from the outside of her neck, the moist skin now holding a curved bump near the middle. nessa takes the initiative. removing a hand from one of your thighs, she uses four fingers to lightly push and stroke the bulge; almost as if she was jerking you off while you ravaged her inards.

she knew exactly what she was doing, and it had you riled the fuck up.

you picked up the pace, delirious from the amount of stimulation your precious cock was receiving. with your erection fully encased by her face and your dick bouncing off the gummy walls of her gullet, you could tell her throat was already forming bruises with a throbbing soreness to compliment, time come the morning. your rough hands dig behind the back of her head, hands feeling lost amongst her ocean of hair— beautiful locks just perfect for pulling. you yank her face forward, lowering yours as well to not only established authority but to get your point across to the cockdrunk slut mindlessly slobbering all over your messy shaft.

“mfph-- please, cum.. i want- all!” you can just barely string together what sounds like whines for more— i guess she can sense just how close the knot in your stomach is to bursting because she grips the back of your thighs and tugs them forward with whatever coherent muscle strength she has remaining. just in time for the tension in your core to coil tighter and tighter, the lowerhalf of your body trembling with all the signs of an incoming orgasm.

“does my dumb little girl wanna be fucked, that, bad? hah, fuck nes' what would your brother think?” you mock so cruelly, totally disregarding the fact that there is a slim possibility, raihan is searching for the lost pair. and it just so happens that nessa's poor little brother had been observing for a little over half the engagement. fist wrapped around his pathetic cock, suit collar pulled between his fangs, ocean blue eyes fixated on you; your hip strength, the way you rolled and plunged balls deep into his sibling. his body felt so empty, only riding his high off the two of yours', praying he'd finish before you caught him lurking like a sleaze. it was so unfair, why did nessa get to taste your sultry cock before he did?

you can feel the bass reverberate in nessa's throat as her lips nip at your hilt, impatiently trying to babble out a response adequate enough to your liking. her mind is flying, no correct sense of direction as it attempts to form a reply, but all that breaks past the barrier is a few pitiful mewls. her nose is burried in your pubes and she's lost all feeling in her throat, only motivating her to show off the lump on her neck even more. you watch as your length disappears into the depths of her mouth for the hundredth time that night, hands pushing down the lacy strap of her dress in a last ditch effort to find something other than her hair to latch onto for support. her scalp is on fire and she can only accept the stinging sensation as the roughness of your thrusts increase in magnitude.

the club is filled to the brim with lewd moans and needy pants; those of which included raihan's. every inch of her esophagus is being used— you happily ram your cock down her throat a few more times, your balls were quivering wildly. contracting and spasming, boiling with a fat wad of potent seed all ready to venture inside of her. nessa squeals, feeling a thick bulge travel up the length of your cock, up to the head and straight on her tongue; some spurts flowing down her neck while the rest collected in her mouth. painting her insides a translucent white that would surely stain.

just for good measure, nessa deep throats your empty dick with a few simple strokes; a white, sticky ring forming around the base of your shaft after she detached from your dick. a lewd pop, followed by a line of stringy saliva connected her lips to your bottomed out cock before she ruined the trail by letting her tongue lull from behind her teeth. letting you get a nice overhead view of her empty mouth, watching as the last bits of your load traveled down her throat and out of sight for good.

“god.. such a g'girl. you sucked on my cock so nicely, princess. wasn't that a way to end the night?” a blissed out smile creeps over your face, marveling in the aftermath you caused. you gave the right side of her face a few taps from your cock— dried tears and sloppy makeup tainting her cheeks. cum dripping from the corners of her mouth, as a cocktail of her own spit and your semen coats the back of her throat. it was all one big look of;

euphoria.

[persistent-wallflower]

19 questions and a selfie tag thinggg, thank you @hermionegrindr for tagging me 🥰

1. What do you prefer to be called (name wise)?

My name's Miłosz, but Milo is fine for folks who don't speak Polish 😅

2. When's your birthday?

July the 7th ✌

3. Where do you live?

In Poland 😔✌🇵🇱

4. What are you doing right now?

Getting ready to make final changes in my thesis ✨

5. 4 fandoms that have piqued your interest?

Hmm, Pokémon... true crime podcasts... Drag Race... Jelle's Marble Runs haha. Idk, I'm not really feeling like being a part of these fandoms, I guess I just like these things.

6. How has the pandemic been treating you?

I had 3 mental breakdowns throughout the pandemic, so not great :P And it was still better from the torment of Nothing Happening and Meeting Nobody for months ✌ But heyyy, at least I didn't get sick ✌✌

7. A song you can't stop listening to recently?

8. Recommend a movie

In the Mood for Love ✨

9. How old are you?

22 ✌

10. School, university, occupation?

Hopefully graduating in 2 weeks 😬

11. Do you prefer to be hot or cold?

Well, I prefer when it's a bit colder I think, only because I hate sweating 😓

12. Name a fact others may not know about you?

I'm an ABBA fan since I watched Mamma Mia for the first time (aged 9 I think lol)

13. Are you shy?

Ye.

Shyness in nice, and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you'd like to ✌👍

14. Pronouns?

He/him

15. Biggest pet peeve?

When others are acting arrogant?

16. Rate your life from 1-10

Idk if I can. I've been lucky in many aspects, like the general financial situation or other circumstances, but as of my enjoyment of living, I'm not a fan of my life 😛 I'll pass ✌

17. What's your main blog?

This is it ✨

18. List all your side blogs and what they're for

@artsyghostmansions for my art, though I switched to dumping it to insta

@beautifulitems-beautufulplaces for things that are wonderfully designed usually, like buildings and stuff

@- I have a sideblog in Polish where I spit out the bitterness and sorrow when I need it and don't wanna worry my friends, but it's not exactly made for viewing

@- I have a sexy sideblog too, but It's pretty much for mutuals only ✌

19. Is there anything people should know about you before becoming friends with you?

No cuz you wouldn't want to then haha

20. Selfie

My most recent one that I liked 🤷‍♂️

I'll tag @demonrunningwild, @enthronedremains, @yddaw, @privateschoolfeline, @phonsekal-laure if any of you want to 😊

[whumpmatsus]

Why is Ichimatsu so mean to Karamatsu? I heard that it was because he is jealous, is that true?

oh boy you really want your resident Iromatsu slut to talk about this huh you're opening a gate which you might not be able to close sweetie BUT LET'S FUCKIN GOOO

*cracks knuckles* buckle up buttercups

so, first of all, I do believe Ichimatsu has gotten a lot better in his treatment of Karamatsu in recent episodes! I saw it for myself a bit in Cherry Blossoms, he sorta bristles a bit at Kara being obnoxious with his friends but as soon as he's out of earshot he just laughs it off and smiles and is like "well at least he knows how to have a good time" like his expression and tone there at least in the dub is very fond and reminds me of how, even though my younger brother and I don't always get along, sometimes he's like that with me

he's getting less mean and mellowing out and not constantly spitting one-liners even when Kara is a bit painful, my boy is coming so far

and quite honestly, these boys are SO FUCKING COMPLEX that there are endless reasons for the way Ichimatsu feels about and treats Karamatsu, and so this is really just my own opinion

but for me, it reads as a mixture of a few things

one is, yes, jealousy, because we see the way Ichimatsu was in high school, he was burning out of social interaction in his last year, violently pretending to be someone he wasn't, pretending to be a social butterfly, pretending he wasn't anxious every single minute he was talking to someone. we never really get a clear-cut answer as to why he pushed himself to do that, but we do see that he couldn't keep it up. every time someone looked away from focusing on him, he let himself 'relax'. it took all his energy, because talking to people all damn day when you're an introvert and riddled with social anxiety is exhausting.

and so to Ichimatsu, the way Karamatsu is now, he sees it as an act, but it's an act that Karamatsu seems able to keep up. as far as Ichi can see, it's not draining Kara's energy like it did to Ichi. Kara almost seems happier pretending he's got a ton of confidence when he's still in some ways he same shy, insecure person he was at 18.

so yeah, there's jealousy, because how fucking unfair is it that Ichimatsu couldn't take it and fucking Shittymatsu can?? that must seem incredibly infuriating, that Kara can keep up this act 24/7 while that same act was part of what broke Ichimatsu to pieces and pushed him further into depression

segueing into my next point, I think a lot of Ichimatsu's bitterness toward Karamatsu is specifically because Karamatsu reminds him of himself in high school. and Ichimatsu fucking HATES his high school memories, because who in their right mind enjoys thinking about a time when they were suffocating under a false personality, having to hide who they really were or they'd lose all their friends?

he looks at Karamatsu and he sees the guy he himself used to be, and he hates that. he hates it so much. why the hell is Karamatsu even doing this? so people will like him? Ichimatsu could tell him point-blank that it doesn't work like that. people liking the fake you isn't people liking you. they just like the mask. that frustrates him more than anything, because whatever else is true, he thinks Karamatsu should just fucking be himself whether people like him or not.

and the last thing I'll mention (because this is getting way too long 😂) is that Ichimatsu is constantly mourning the relationship they used to/could have had. he and Karamatsu were MUCH closer in high school, in part because Kara frequently showed his own anxiety more freely, and Ichi related to him because of that. they hung out more back then, they ate lunch together, they were even more physically affectionate.

but now... Karamatsu's covering all of it up and pretending it doesn't exist, so Ichimatsu doesn't feel like he can relate anymore. he did his share of pretending and sometimes when he hangs out with Kara in the present, he feels like he needs to pretend again simply because Kara is pretending. obviously that's not what Kara wants and he's not directly pressuring Ichi, (and he would feel horrible if he knew Ichi felt like that), but the feeling is still there, unfortunately.

... also Karamatsu is just really painful and Ichi is easily annoyed by over-the-top tryhards, even if they're his big brother 😂😂

THIS GOT WAY LONG BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR ASKING THIS KIND OF THING TO A KNOWN IRO STAN LOL

[illkeepyourbrittleheartwarm]

Sometimes, I wake up with such a bitterness in my heart that I cannot help but go downstairs and eat as much sweet food as I can. I'll feel so sick, but I need something to comfort this bitter pain in my chest.

I eat and I think about every adult who failed me as a child. I think about my mother letting me down so many times that when she read my texts telling my friend how my dad had kicked me, I didn't even try to insist that it was true, because she said that she would go down to ask him. I said that he didn't kick me, because I knew that she would eventually believe him and drop it. Because I knew that if my mum sided with me for even a minute, he would be even worse to me than usual. So she made me call my friend right in front of her and apologise to her for lying. She then made me go downstairs and apologise to my father for lying about him.

I think about the teachers who read my stories and poems, who had other girls going to them saying they're worried about me, who demanded I showed them my self harm scars in a crowded corridor, scoffed, walked away, and never did anything about it. The teachers who would call in my parents after my counsellor had to report when I told her that my dad hit me, and tell them everything. Who broke safeguarding procedure, who contacted my parents, didn't call social services, and never paid any attention to what was very clearly a child in distress again.

I think about the grown men who saw a little girl desperate for love, and took advantage of that in the sickest ways.

I think about my 'friends' who I know I can't be bitter towards, because they were children and they didn't know any better. But I am bitter, because I KNEW BETTER. I knew better than to bully someone. I knew better than to be cruel and unkind and use someone. I knew better than to assume someone was stupid when their life was falling apart and they were too depressed to do school work. I knew better than to slutshame a victim. I was younger than them, yet I still knew better. So how come they didn't??? How come they didn't know better??? How come they couldn't be decent human beings? You don't have to be an adult to understand that people suffer and that just because they try to see the best in you and give you more chances without expecting an apology, doesn't mean you get to treat them like shit but still claim to be their friend.

I think about all the neighbours who heard everything, all the crashing, yelling, screaming, daily, and did nothing. Who were the first at the door when my mother got home to tell her that they heard me shout at my younger brother when I'd snap from him constantly hounding and abusing myself and my baby brother. When I was left alone to watch them as a fourteen year old. When I was left alone to watch the middle brother when I was ten, before my baby brother was born. But when it was my father screaming and yelling and threatening us, they suddenly didn't hear. That was never a problem for them, when he would be yelling at us every day into the early hours. When he would drive home drunk. When he would be outside yelling and banging stuff or beating his workers up. All of a sudden, that didn't matter. Only if I finally yelled after trying to raise children as a fucking child with more patience than most adults have, only if I was kissing a boy somewhere, only if they saw something on my social media, like the stories I'd write, to gossip about.

I think about the social workers who got mandated reports a few times and did nothing, and sexual health clinic workers who would treat me for STDs several times, hear about the older men, test me for pregnancy, and never even tried to say anything. I'm glad they didn't report it because I'd be the only one to suffer for it, but i wish they hadn't just smiled and nodded.

I think about all the family members who saw and heard what was going on at home, but didn't care, and sung my dad's praises. But when I cut my father off, suddenly it was a big deal, and "he's your father, he did everything for you, you need to forgive him, he's such a good man, you're exaggerating, you've always had a tendency to tell stories".

I think about my mother insisting that he is a good man, a decent man, who just got lost along the way.

And the chocolate I was eating suddenly feels like tar in my mouth, difficult to chew, to swallow, to digest. Suddenly, my stomach and throat burn with bile and tears.