#and i will keep crying
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thought of a friend and cried a little, grief filled days begin again and will last for a while, i might buy a round lab face cream on monday to cope
#kinda regret not buying it today#would i have cried if i got it? who knows#i know skincare can’t realistically cure grief but it can’t hurt me either#got myself my favourite wine for tuesday#will cry and drink on the beach ✌🏻#and in two weeks i’m going to see joker: folie a deux#and it will also be the anniversary of our trip to prague and artrave#it’s 10 years this year#and i will keep crying#and then lady gaga might release new music#so i will cry some more#this autumn will wreck me#but perhaps i’ll come out stronger#mine#grief#💔❤️🩹
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grandfest!!!!
#I’m so EXCITED to see their outfits on stage!!!!!!!!#everyone is so cute I’m crying#kisses all their heads#my art#splatoon#fanart#pearl#marina#Callie#Marie#shiver#Frye#big man#reluctant to tag everyone but it’ll keep my page organized I supposeee
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i've figured out the hack to writing is to write badly so that you can eventually write good when you go back to edit. unfortunately that means that i'm going to have to go back and edit. sisyphus rolling that damn boulder up the hill emoji.
#🐉#even worse there are some banger lines among the dogshit so im REALLY going to have to edit hard to keep them#screaming crying throwing up rending my clothes and tearing out my hair I HATE MAKING ART ITS MY FAVOURITE
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SEBASTIAN SOLACE OH MY GODD😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
i want to become him
i need to become him
#pressure#roblox#roblox pressure#pressure roblox#sebastian pressure#sebastian solace#sebastian solace fanart#pressure fanart#fanart#shitpost#basically#i keep getting got by the angler on door 97#im crying
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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taking off my anxiety over a license exam ☠️
#messyr#IM GOING TO CRY IF I FAIL THIS EXAM BUT DAMN I ALREADY FEEL LIKE THROWING UP!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAH#I keep thinking about the fkin adobe license yet im still out here drawing projects for a media visual novel and egames art concepts AAARGH#Also still drafting stuff for this AU bc it doesn't just focus on ships- rather the plot itself LMAO.#doodle#artists on tumblr#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel: Michelin Stars AU#hazbin hotel human au#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel alastor#lucifer morningstar#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel charlie#charlie morningstar#radioapple
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So basically, Rio got custody of Nicky in the divorce and Agatha decided to make it everyone’s problem
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How do you want to do this?
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Goodbye, Faithful Caregiver.
#critical role#fcg critical role#cr fcg#bells hells#critical role fanart#critical role campaign 3#cr3#bells hells fanart#critical role art#cr fanart#otohan thull#fresh cut grass#floweroflaurelin art#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#dorian storm#orym of the air ashari#cr frida#imogen temult#laudna#chetney pock o'pea#sam riegel#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#rip fcg#AHHHHHHHH#SOBBING AND SCREAMING#this took SO LONG but I had to get these feelings out#four days on a single project I need you to understand how unprecedented this is for me#sam riegel WHY do you keep making me CRY
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History repeats itself
#twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#meleanor draconia#twst spoilers#diasomnia spoilers#that update HAUNTS me I keep crying when i randomly remember details of it#and so many parallels happening gosh
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dramatic eyes. dramatic lips. drama on the cheeks.
sketch
#the fuck's a look??#this show keeps making me cry happy tears#this show made me cry last season when ed and stede kissed. Now I'm crying because LOOK AT IZZY! LOOK AT WEE JOHN!!!#please for the love of god only look at this with the night light filter on. forgot my screen was tinted yellow and the colors are FUCKEDDD#ya ya It’s la vie en rose I didn’t check my references my b my b je regrette ok#our flag means death#ofmd#our flag means death spoilers#ofmd season 2#izzy hands#wee john feeney#ofmd s2e6#this show brings me so much joy especially now when everything is so hard in real life.#they just get to be queer with their pirate friends#skdfjhskhgjfnlisadfhlksjdfh;sk#art#fan art#the first time in a while I've been inspired to make art :_) I love
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im so fucking infuriated at the state of the world. is there no compassion left in anyones hearts. marcellus was murdered by the court for a crime he provably did not commit. so many people called in that they cut off the number, so many people signed, called in, faxed in, sent emails, and no one in this fucked up system even cared. im so angry and distraught. what a miserable fucking world.
#kitty purrs#death#ask to tag#antiblackness#im just sitting here crying ive been keeping up with it the whole time#rest in power marcellus williams.#sorry for turning reblogs off this post was stressing me tf out bc i didnt expect it to get 1k overnight
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no good
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my dad says that the worst day of his life was when I was 7 and we were fighting so I screamed that I hated him.
Anyway, imagine Bruce and Dick’s first fight. And Dick is just so angry and he wants to push Bruce away before Bruce can do it to him (or maybe he just wants to piss Bruce off), so he just shouts, “I hate you!”
but he’s not prepared for Bruce to freeze. Then he stares at Dick just long enough for him to feel guilty.
And then Bruce justs bursts into tears.
#bruce was just. not prepared for that#he tried to keep it together but he felt like he’d just been stabbed so#dick also starts crying#and is like ‘i’m sorry i didn’t mean it i don’t hate you please stop’#versa speaks#versa’s fanfic thoughts#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#robin#batfam#batdad#i should write this
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i got my isbn today for the book. 8 months to go. my mom and i were talking about what the next steps are. i was eating trail mix, standing on one foot, phone tucked into my ear.
"yeah," i said. "the problem is that tumblr as a market is like, not something that can be studied." there's this weird wave of nostalgia and affection for this place that came up over me: how lovely we avoid consumerism. okay, it sucks as a creator. but also? keep stickin' it to 'em.
my mother made the sound at the back of her throat that i also make, the one that means i've got an idea. "you should figure out some kind of reward for presale amounts. maybe you give out poems or a mug or a signed book or something. would your followers like that?" my mother is sweet, and kind, and i have no idea how to explain on this website you can buy someone crabs.
i put more m&ms down the hatch. i had to speak through peanuts and almonds. "if it passes 25 thousand i will print the book out in its entirety and eat it live on camera."
"oh god. no, you don't have to do that." she was anguished. "just tell them that you'd love them to read it, and that they've inspired you to write. you got started on that site, and they helped you keep going. raquel, you love these people. the community? you talk all the time about the other writers and artists and whatever else. tell them that you're hoping for their support, they'll come through."
"no," i assured her. i discovered i had dropped an m&m, but an ant had already found it, so it belonged to him now. i will let his little life have a surprise blue treasure in it, too. "i'm gonna fuckin' eat the book."
#writeblr#:)#the small secret love i have for y'all. the way i am filled with gratitude.#for the nosebleed club. for stephen particularly.#for every artist i've ever been in contact with and collaborated with.#for every person who has commented on my work and passed it along or fallen in love with it#for every silent 'just hitting like' follower and for every person who sends me dms and for each of you#i know i suck at replying bc i have anxiety. but like. you keep being here. so i keep writing.#i legit wouldn't be here without you.#thank you sophie thank you katie thank you carolyn thank you stephanie thank you jess#thank you if you're reading this#i got too overwhelmed with love and have to stop writing this FAR too early into the thank yous bc im about to cry with love
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fridge..
#dmc#dmc3#devil may cry 3#dante#dante dmc#fanart#i made this just because i wanted to put vergil on the missing milk box#i dont think he would keep much food in there but that would make a boring drawing
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thank you to the band girl factory for making more band girls
#bocchi the rock!#mygo#girls band cry#garukura#iseri nina#takamatsu tomori#bocchi#please keep making anxious yet honest band girls i eat the slop up#doodle
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