#and i will continue to close my eyes for everything post season 3.5 because it doesn't exist to me

[donny-novitski]

im so sorry everyone that follows me... when u get to the glee part of my queue its game over... i’m doing my yearly gleewatch rn and i’m back in the depths of hell. this show made me into the loser insane person i am today. and i’ve watched it every year since 2009 when it aired. i will never stop. bury me with my glee box sets bc i will never escape this shitshow of a shit show. it’s MY shitshow of a shit show

[prismarine-parrots]

Tree of Life Pt. 4

Originally posted: 12 Mar. 2019

In the endgame now

...I just watched Endgame yesterday but thAT WASNT INTENTIONAL MY HEART—

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 3.5 Part 5 (1) Part 5 (2)

Sorry for the repeat of last part at the beginning, like I said 3.5 wasn’t part of the original story so it was only mentioned before

The small group floated at dusk to the small cave base in a multitude of boats.

It was a bitter irony, really, that the only reason the party fit in this bay was because nearly half of them were dead and not coming back as far as they knew, or grieving so much they couldn't continue onwards.

It was with a solemn, firm thunk as Xisuma was the first to climb onto the dock from his boat that he was sharing with Impulse, who had been silently grim himself as he traveled alone of his trio.

"Is... this the place?" Jevin asked slowly. Joe Hills flicked the map to straighten it and looked at the terrain of the cliff side, then at his map.

"I believe so," Joe confirmed.

X closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I hope we find the answers we're looking for..." he murmured under his breath.

The rest of the hermits heard him, but said nothing. Their numbers were crushed and it was obvious that Xisuma had been trying to be the leader he sometimes just wasn't. He may be the server admin, but that was because he had the technical know-how of how to run the server. He wasn't the emotionally strong one (that was Doc) or the strategic one (Cubfan, who looked like a ghost himself after losing Scar.) But X had taken the responsibility upon himself because of the duty he felt to fix this mess, and the fact that his role as admin has to have SOMETHING to do with all of it.

"Let's go," Doc climbed out of his boat like a soldier and marched into the cave.

"Doc- Doc! Are you sure that's a good idea? We don't know what, what horrors await us in there?" Joe protested.

Iskall was right behind the creeper cyborg, being in the same boat (literally) as him. The Swede looked back over his shoulder, his single eye sweeping over the remaining hermits in a vengeful dark gaze.

"We've already seen some messed up stuff in the past week, Joe. You weren't there for Grian, but he was messed up before he died. False just collapsed and died right in front of us. Tango went feral and starting acting like a real demon! And then if anything, I know we all saw how broken Cub was..."

There were small glances of grief and worry as each death was recounted. Stress had squeezed Cleo's pale green hand when False's dramatic, early death was mentioned, and Impulse winced at the memory of seeing one of his friends have to be killed with a sword to keep him from hurting anyone else after he had already stabbed Python with his horns.

Python died soon after as well.

"If there's ANY chance of at least keeping the rest of us from perma-dying, and MAYBE revive everyone else, we have to take it!" Iskall claimed firmly.

X knew that Iskall and Doc were right. He knew they ALL had to be as strong as them if they were going to fix everything. Even though there was a crushing pain every time one of those messages appeared on their phones, they had to keep going or every one of them were going to die.

X joined the two leaders and waved on the rest of the remaining hermits.

"Let's go, guys. For everyone."

Then Doc walked forward, followed by Iskall, X, Impulse, Cleo, Stress, Jevin, Joe and Ren. They were that was all that was left of the outstanding hermits, except for Mumbo who stayed at the main Hermitcraft Isle to watch over the people who died there, and Cub who decided he couldn't go forward after Scar died and went back to meet Mumbo.

The cave they had entered was clearly manmade and had a attempted terraforming job on it, but it was sloppy and easily noticeable. There were far and few torches to light the tunnel on the inside, making their passage spooky and tense.

"This is kind of like inside the Team S.T.A.R. base," Ren noted quietly, "just no labyrinth."

X chuckled. "Very glad for that. I'd much rather have a straight path than trying to actually navigate those ramps."

"How do you think we felt?" Iskall demanded.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you guys were on G-Team, heh." Doc taunted subtly.

"Are you trying to say something, DocM?" Joe immediately accused.

Doc smirked and raised his hands in a surrender gesture while Impulse was grinning with humor.

"No no, of course not."

"Why would you even suggest such a thing?" Impulse added cheekily.

"Humph. Just remember who won the war, alright?" Jevin reminded. The S.T.A.R. veterans shared a look.

"Only if you remember who destroyed you in Hermitgang!" X shot back.

There was a gasp from the G-Team members.

"How dare you!"

"Ow, my dignity has been stuck once again!"

"Well played, well played..."

"And only if YOU remember who made a counter strike to that malicious attack! I do not stand for these crimes to go without justice! I do not understand how you all can let them get away with that!"

"...what, Joe?"

Joe was fuming at the mention of the rap while everyone else was either confused, or still confused but laughing anyway.

Suddenly the ground dropped from beneath the group as they walked, getting a collective yelp as they fell a few blocks downward.

"Hey! Who did that?" Stress bounced back to her feet and yelled.

"Shut up, the whole lot of you! Just- just be quiet, for once!"

The hermits looked to each other in confusion.

"Did that sound like...?" Cleo left her question hanging and looked to Xisuma.

The turtle man sighed. "Looks like my clone is back in action. What do you bet he has something to do with the trees?"

"Too much," Iskall agreed grimly as Ren starting digging a staircase up the other side of the pit.

"X, you get to deal with him," Doc growled, not meaning to sound aggressive, but everyone was on edge again after what happened with Evil Xisuma last season.

X silently climbed the staircase and poked his head over the top. The hallway extended just far enough that the pit was hidden in the dark spot between two light sources, but looking now they had actually reached the end of the tunnel and it opened up to some sort of base with chests on the far wall.

X looked down at the hermits looking up at him and held a finger to his helmet in a shush gesture before climbing over the edge and going ahead while the rest of the group climbed up.

"Come on, come on, let this work, what else could that baffoon do that I can't that might reverse this? Ugh, those hermits, I hate them, and I know they dislike me, but this is a cruel way to get rid of me..."

X leaned around the corner to indeed see his alter ago hovering over a brewing stand. Well, not really hovering, and his feet were on the ground and he was leaning heavily on his right arm. While EX's back was turned to the original, it wasn't hard to tell that something was not right. Looking around EX's base, X saw a large screen with some familiar looking GUIs on it and a small device on the desk next to it.

I was wondering where my old phone from last season went off to. Guess I know now.

"Come on- yes!" EX took whatever potion he was brewing and chugged it without a second thought. He grimaced and wiped his mouth in seeming disgust and waited a few seconds before groaning.

"Check custom healing potion off the list... I hate sweet things, UGH..."

“Except cookies,” Xisuma chuckled under his breath with humor. Evil X liked cookies probably a bit too much for his own good, and personally X had wondered if he had been the Jangler before it was discovered to be Scar.

EX gasped and tried to spin around, but lost his balance and ended up pinwheeling his arms, knocking over his brewing stand, and fell hard on the floor. He scooted backwards, still favoring his right arm, and looked up at X with an odd mix of fury and fear.

"You! Stay back, leave me alone! Come to watch my demise? You're crueler than I thought, Xisuma."

X stopped for a moment. Evil Xisuma, scared? If him? Something was very wrong then.

The green-clad man looked over his double. Everything about him seemed to be normal, except that his left sleeve was torn and there was a graze across it. It looked to not be a fresh wound, and X slowly realized why EX was so freaked out.

"You're affected by it too..."

"What? This isn't you hermits' doing?"

"Of course not! You may be a pest but we would never try to perma-kill anyone!"

"Perma-kill?"

X sighed and sat down cross-legged across from EX and took off his helmet.

Time to be the serious leader with this man.

"Yes. People are dead because of something happened to the life trees on the Hermitcraft server, and we don't know what do to about it. If you're affected by it too and have been doing research... I think we need your help."

Xisuma's phone buzzed twice in his suit pocket- a normal text message, thank goodness.

EX's stolen phone vibrated across the room as well and the message appeared on screen.

<Iskall85> are we really trusting this dude?

Both the Xisumas looked at the screen with a sinking feeling.

"What do you say?" Xisuma asked his clone.

EX stared deadpan at X through his red visor.

"Why are you asking this? I could easily kill you."

"Yeah I know. I don't like you either, not one bit. But half the server is dead and we're stumped for solutions before the entire whitelist is wiped from existence."

EX looked at X for a moment more before closing his eyes and taking off his own helmet, revealing the same face as the man before him.

"Alright. Just this once, I'll help you. Never again after this!"

<Iskall85> seriously?

"Yes Iskall!" Xisuma yelled. There was hushed laughter, and Iskall's obvious voice as he protested the teasing. EX scoffed and muttered something under his breath before heading back to his desk. The rest of the hermits slowly entered the room, varying between wary, distrustful, or curious.

Xisuma nodded to them and turned to the screen EX was at and started scanning the waterfall of information that flowed up as the alter ego brought up what files he did.

Points falling, coordinates of placed location, status effects, chunk coordinates, error messages, time of activation... these have nothing to do with one another?

"What is going on here...?"

——————————

Word count: 1950

Holy heck I didn't kill anyone this time?

TBH I don’t like this part, I changed my plans and didn’t kill EX here so the relevance of this is questionable. But there needed to be a calm chapter, so this works.

Life goals, literally

[rememberthattime]

Chapter 59. Cornwall, Charleston, and Chicago

Well we’re into our final chapters. It’s nearly time for Chelsay & I to head home… The end of our time as expats.  

The preceding post, our EuRoad Trip, may go down as our last big adventure abroad. That’s not how we planned it but, if it turns out that way, it’d be a helluva last hurrah.  We have this “on-again-off-again” thing Egypt initially scheduled for November, then delayed to December, and now delayed again until January… but an escalation in Covid cases makes that trip less & less likely.

Regardless of whether Egypt comes through, our last few months abroad will be anything but boring. This post is going to cover December alone, where in just four weeks, Chelsay & I enjoyed TWO winter retreats in Cornwall, and visited Charleston & Chicago for prospective neighborhood tours.

As mentioned, we’d been planning an early winter trip to Egypt. I had the flights, hotels, itinerary, visas… everything was arranged. I even had a dog sitter for Indy. But Covid infections had been rising since the summer, so Chelsay & I always knew this trip was a long shot.

Sure enough, just a few weeks before the trip, our flights were cancelled. We were prepared though and already had a back-up.

3.5 years ago, the same week the Bears drafted Mitch Trubisky, Chelsay & I took a four-day trip to Cornwall. There were two surprises. One turned out to be a good surprise, the other was bad…

The bad surprise was Mitch. As I wrote in our 2017 Cornwall post (Chapter 20), he wasn’t good in college and the Bears passed on so many safer prospects. Fast forward to today, where Mitch is likely in his last season with the Bears while the two quarterbacks drafter after him, Pat Mahomes and Deshaun Watson, are future Hall of Famers.

Well, at least that 2017 Cornwall trip was blast. It’d been a few years though, and with winter surfing a possibility, we decided to use our now-cancelled Egypt vacations days for a return to the Cornish coast.

It seemed like we arrived at our small cottage, Scilly Stack, in the middle of the night. It was actually just dinner time, but the sun sets at 3 pm these days so everything feels like midnight. That first evening, we enjoyed homemade Bolognese and Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. …This cosiness would be a theme.

The trip really began the next morning, with the Cornish wind being our wake-up call. We were visiting the nearby Crown Mines, abandoned for 70 years but still bracing along the Atlantic coastline. I don’t know how they’re still standing: essentially at land’s end, there is no hiding from the elements. Gusting gales, salty mist from the crashing waves… even hail.  Still, Chelsay, Indy, and I were stirred by the wind, and bounced around the craggily coast.

The next stop was one of our primary draws to Cornwall: the beach. It’d been a year since we left Manly, and I missed the water. I keep telling Chelsay that my outdoor activities are limited in London: all I can do is go to the park – no surfing, swimming, or running along the beach. Later in this post, I’ll get into our house tours in Charleston & Chicago… It isn’t a coincidence those cities are both waterfront.

Cornish beaches are unique though: at low tide, the beach seems to be a million football feeds wide. Boats moored in the harbour gradually sink and settle in the sand. The winter crowds are sparse, so Chelsay, Indy, and I had miles to roam. We raced around the beach, threw his ball, played in the waves, and dashed through the surrounding dunes. After wind and hail earlier in the morning, the extreme weather continued: we raced through snow and rainbows in our few hours on the beach.

Afterwards, we warmed up with lunch at a beachside cafe in nearby St Ives. I went a bit risky with the Korean fried cauliflower, which I thought was ambitious for a beachside cafe. This place knew what they were doing though: lunch was delicious, and Chelsay said it was her favorite fish & chips thanks to a special tartar sauce. The town was quiet in the winter, and while we ate, Chelsay and I watched as a lone surfer catching a few waves. I distinctly remember us saying: “We can do that.”

We wrapped up lunch, but with the sun was quickly setting AT 2 PM!, we quickly made our way to the day’s final stop: the Wheal Coates mines.

As a refresher, we’d been here before. We visited in our last trip to Cornwall, but only thanks to a bit of luck. We’d lost cell service so our GPS couldn’t find the mines, and to complicate things, Chelsay had to pee. Somehow, the solution to both problems was the same. We pulled off at a public restroom, where a cartoon map led us directly to the mines.

This time around, I downloaded ‘offline maps’ beforehand, so finding the mines was much. That said, the setting sun made the coastal setting just as special as our previous visit.

Just as we’d done the previous evening, we closed the night with a homemade pasta. This time amatriciana.

We pretty much only had one goal for our second day in Cornwall: surf. It’d been a full year since Chelsay & I left Manly, and we were so anxious to get back in the water. So anxious, in fact, that we were willing to go in the winter.

That morning, we had some serious doubt as we picked up our rental boards & wetsuits boards in Sennan. Literal gale force winds over 40 mph were battering the shoreline. And as if the speed of the wind wasn’t enough, it was directly onshore and killing any chance of wave formation.

That said, the great thing about Cornwall is that it’s a peninsula. If you’ve got onshore winds on one side, just go to the other and you’ll find perfect offshore conditions. Gnarly green faces. Rad rollers. Clean barrels. Smooth breaks. SETS. OUT. THE. BACK.

The surf shop recommended Praa Sands, where a surrounding cove funnelled the south-easterly winds offshore from the beach.  We knew it was the right call when, as we pulled up, noticed Cornwall’s dedicated (though small) surf crowd had also chosen Praa.  

Because it was too cold, windy, and rainy to be outside, we awkwardly changed into our 5mm wetsuits in the car. This was awkward… Not only were the steering wheel and limited space difficult, but anyone passing can look in. Have you ever pulled 6 muscles all at once, while shirtless, while making direct eye contact with someone?  I have now.  

The wetties (and accompanying boots) were critical for this surf session. Just the day before, it had both snowed AND hailed on us. Today there were gale force winds and spots of rain. 5mm of neoprene and incalculable adrenaline were the only things keeping us warm as we plunged into the water.

I specifically remember trying to keep my head high as we paddled out, attempting to stay dry and well above the water. This was one of our strategies to stay warm, with the other being our “get in-go hard-and-get-out-quickly” strategy... Rather than wait for the right wave, we’d paddle hard and take whatever came first.

Luckily there was a pretty solid wave as soon as we hit the lineup: a four foot face that, based on our Manly riding, was perfect for our skillset.

We quickly turned our boards and paddled hard to match the wave’s speed. This was it. Our return. After 12 months, we were going to catch our first wave - Let’s gooooo-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Chelsay and I both flipped directly over the front of our boards, tumbling through the churning wave. Adding injury to insult, each of our boards popped out of the water and landed on the other person’s head.

No return to surfing glory: just a face-first dive into the frigid water, resurfacing only be whacked in the head by each other’s boards.

This was pathetically unathletic, but also hilarious. Chelsay and I both popped out of the water laughing. We’d now been submerged in the winter water, but survived and actually weren’t *that* cold. Chelsay thinks I’m crazy, but I really think I had colder swims in Manly.  

We needed to reset our wave-riding expectations. The biggest problem was that we were out of surfing shape. Our back & arms lacked both the power and stamina we’d built in Australia, so we never had enough speed to keep up with the waves.

After several misses, we ultimately decided to settle for white water (the wave post-crash), and caught a few beginner sets. Like, true novice waves. The kinds you’d see the kids surf school handle in Manly.

We were probably in the water for just 30 minutes, but our arms were already wrecked. Little did we know, our upper body workout was far from over.  The same offshore wind that built up perfect waves was now standing between us & the car.

The combination of these 40 mph winds, our soft surfboards, and utter exhaustion created the funniest scene of the trip. Chelsay and I were fighting for every inch as we made our way up the beach… If our boards even slightly opened to the wind, gusts would catch the board like a sail, punching us back several steps. We’d torque around, trying to get the board into an aerodynamic position, but the heavy wind wouldn’t let up. We’d twist and turn, completely out of control and hyperventilating from laughter. It genuinely looked like Chelsay might fly away with her board, before she eventually gave up and collapsed in the sand.

Needless to say, our Cornwall surf day was very different from the sunny, guacamole-on-the-beach days in Manly. We still had a blast though.

After the most necessary showers ever, and coffee to energize our depleted muscles (and egos), Chelsay and I returned to Penzance to visit St Michael’s Mount. We let Indy play on the beach with other dogs (all collies, which seems to be a UK theme everywhere except London), while Chelsay & I searched for critters until the tide pools were once again flooded.

The sun set by 4 pm, and I don’t need to tell you our dinner that evening: pasta, along with the Mariah Carey Christmas Special.

The next and last day was another highlight.  Although Cornish weather is turbulent, the forecast said our clearest day would be the last. I was so excited about this hike that I initially planned it for our first day, but reschedule to ensure it coincided with the best chance for sunshine.

Well, we got more than just sunshine. It was mild, almost warm. Light breeze. Dry. Absolutely perfect for our hike from Lizard Pointe to Kynance Cove.  

The Lizard Peninsula is known for its craggily coast, where its countless coves were popular for pirates hiding their treasure. Chelsay, Indy, and I didn’t find any treasure, but we felt very lucky to enjoy the seaside setting in essentially summer conditions. To complete the sunny scene, we enjoyed ice cream cones once we arrived in Kynance Cove’s, playing fetch with Indy along the beach. You can’t ask for any better in December.

These few days in Cornwall were excellent. Very different from the Egypt trip they replaced, but somehow both relaxing and adventurous.  We had a such a great time that we booked a return visit just three weeks later.

This return Cornwall visit was entirely intended to decompress. You’ll see when I write about it later: we did nothing.

Why was an ‘exhale’ trip necessary? Well, between our two Cornish holidays, we were visiting Charleston & Chicago, evaluating if either were right for Chelsay & I’s eventual return to the US.  

These visits were mostly Chelsay and I independently exploring each city, gauging “What’s Possible” in terms of neighborhood and home quality, outdoor activities, community values …and, as mentioned earlier, access to the water.

I won’t go into too many details here, but a few memories worth noting:  

That first sunrise in Charleston. It felt like we hadn’t seen a single sunrise since we moved to London… because we hadn’t.

Biscuits and gravy to start the day, followed by walks along the large beaches on Sullivan’s Island and Isle of Palms.

The charming homes of Charleston, which Chelsay and I agreed, made this the prettiest city we’d visited in the US.

Soups, sandwiches, and warm waterfront views at Kiawah Island’s Freshfields Market.

The unbelievable size of American grocery stores. They’re like airplane hangars, with an entire aisle for cereal. We counted 12 unique flavors of Oreos alone! It wasn’t until we browsed these snack aisles that we realized how much we missed all this variety and convenience.

The views from my parents’ 14th floor condo, including surrounding skyscrapers, sunrises over Lake Michigan, and the general city buzz.

Portillos!

The smell of heavy incenses and grilled cabeza steak in La Chaparrita Taqueria.  

Our no-nonsense realtor Greg, who handled our four house tours with the militaristic precision of D-Day. This style was in direct contrast to the selling agents, who were all very kind but far too affable for Greg. There was one agent that couldn’t answer a single question without sprawling in a million directions: “Well the first thing is location… Wait did I tell you about the… Actually my oldest daughter lives down… Oh, where was I?”.  The question we asked was the difference between Winnetka & Wilmette.

The safety measures necessary to make this trip work. This was our first time flying since the start of the pandemic, and we were as careful as possible throughout.  Our extra precautions included getting tested, paying extra attention to social distancing, and even investing in hospital-grade KN95 masks.  

The trip was extremely informative, and we enjoyed envisioning what our lives would be like when we eventually return to the US.  That said, it was a sprint and, especially considering our jet lag, we were exhausted.  This is precisely why we’d booked another 5 days in Cornwall upon our return.

After our overnight flight into London, we picked up our rental car, stopped by the house to grab Indy (and a shower), then started our five-hour drive to Newquay.

This Christmas Eve trip was surprisingly easy. I was nervous beforehand, anticipating minimal sleep on the plane followed immediately by five hours on the road. Just think of how extreme a trip Chicago-to-London-to-Cornwall is in under 15 hours… Although my fears about plane rest turned out to be accurate, the drive was made immeasurably calmer thanks to Obama’s A Promised Land audiobook. Something about having an empathetic, logical President was reassuring. The good ol’ days.

The calm vibes would continue in Cornwall. Round two was nothing like the round one I previously wrote about. In fact, it was unlike any trip Chelsay & I have taken: we did nothing. No itinerary. No plans. No sight-seeing.

This was our opportunity to exhale, and we took full advantage.  We slept in until 10:30 several days, hardly leaving the house and never driving more than 30 minutes from our accommodation. Some of the most memorable highlights:

The accommodation itself, a four-bedroom cottage overlooking Mawgan Porth Beach. 

Our Christmas calls with family, where we opened presents with all the nieces and nephews. Miles got a dragon toy, Orly a stuffed pony, and Jeff & Liv’s couch got leather care formula.

Christmas Day with Chelsay, where we made Beef Wellington and gingerbread cookies, and watched Home Alone 1 & 2.

Our daily beach walks with Indy. After our Cornwall trip earlier in the month, we knew to expect turbulent weather. In just a few days, round two provided a mix of every kind of winter weather: rain, hail, sunshine, gale force winds… Regardless of the weather, we enjoyed beach time with Indy as the tides shifted.

I need to re-emphasize just how windy the beach was. I’ve never seen anything like it. As we walked, the sand kicked up by our boots would catch the wind and shoot 15 feet away. 

Playful walks along the Cornish coastal paths, including stops at the Bedruthan Steps and Port Isaac.  

Teaching Chelsay to play chess. Although she was skeptical at first, we both enjoyed the light competition in an otherwise relaxing few days.

Stealing a line from Jeff & Liv, “Well, that’s Christmas.” …That was December 2020.

I’m actually writing this post on January 1, 2021, which I’m sure I’ll look back on as a significant day. Not only is today a celebratory end to one of the worst years in history (pandemic, economic decline, racial tensions, Trump…), but it’s also excitingly the beginning of what will likely be Chelsay & I’s biggest year yet.

Our December 2020 was actually reflective of today’s mixed New Year’s Day emotions. Our two Cornish holidays represented closing chapters to our international travels, which have consumed our past five years. Meanwhile, our tours of Charleston & Chicago foreshadowed our exciting return to the US. Our past & future look bright …and filled with dozens of different types of Oreos.

[hellocupcakeitsme]

An Unexpected Journey

https://ift.tt/2SYS6ZT

So for the last almost 7 months I have been walking more and more and finding it rather enjoyable. I've never been one for hiking or anything like that. I've liked the idea of it, but putting that into the physical act of actually doing so has always been something completely different.

Just recently, I walked 13.5 miles (21.73k) from my town to the next. Now according to the trail signs, the distance is only 7.3 miles (11.75k). But Im not sure if that "as the crow flies" (meaning a straight line) or if that is how far it actually is. But 3 different apps that I have on my phone said that it was 13.5 miles.  Which trust me, either way, my feet and back were killing me. It was such an emotional and almost spiritual adventure. I have NO EXCUSE for why I did it. It quite literally just happened. The day that I went walking, I had it in my mind that I was going to walk to the 6 mile marker. Where I park my car and start walking is about 1/4 of a mile (0.042k) from the 7 mile post marker. So I have always done the trail just past the 6.5 trail marker. But that day like I said I wanted to see where Mile 6 post was. And it was on a part of the trail that I had never done before, so if anything, curiosity got the better of me.

So, when I came up on the 6 mile marker, I decided to "go a little further" to see where that part of the trial went. When I came to the bottom of a steep hill and saw a ranch style fence, I thought "ok i'll just walk up to that fence and turn around." Had I done that, my round trip would have been just under 4 miles at that point, because I had walked over 1.5 miles. But when I got to the top of that hill and caught my breath, I noticed that the trail was flat for as far as I could see. So I thought, "ok I wonder where 5.5 miles is." A few weeks prior to all of this, I picked up the trail from a different access point and walked from the 4 mile marker to the 5 mile marker. I called a girlfriend of mine and asked her if she would come pick me up if I kept walking because I knew I probably wouldn't have the strength nor the stamina to make the return trip to my car. And that I was going to keep walking until I couldn't go any further. So she agreed and so I continued my journey.

When I got to the 5.5 mile marker (8.85k) I realized that I had seen it before, and realized where I was from having walked it a few weeks prior. So that gave me a renewed sense of energy "knowing" that the next trail access was only a mile or so up from where I was. This is when things started getting a bit spiritual for me. As I was walking, and there really wasn't anyone else on the trail, save for a biker or someone running by every now and then, but for the majority of the time, I was all by myself. 

So I started talking to god/goddess/spirit/higher power/the universe/etc and asking for the ability to complete my task of walking further than I have. Now mind you, this is when the wildfires in California, Oregon, and Washington were really bad. The air quality was 289 (which is really really REALLY bad). And because I didn't plan on doing that large of a walk, I had NO previsions with me. Thankfully this time of year all of the Blackberries are in season and so are the wild apple trees. So every so often I would stop at a blackberry patch and grab a few handfuls and mush it around in my mouth. Not only for the sweet sugary taste, but for the juice to help with my thirst. So about 2 miles from where I started eating the blackberries, I met a wonderful lady who was mucking out her horse stalls. I stopped and spoke with her for a few moments, she offered to go get me some water, but her house was about 8 acres from where she was, and I honestly didn't want to stand around and wait for her. So I thanked her and kept on going. I then came to a green apple tree. I thought that it might be crab apples, which are very tart and kind of "woody" and not very juicy. I knocked one off the tree, because at this point I was starving because I didn't eat anything before going on my walk, because having to use the restroom on the trail isn't that fun, and I didnt have any toilet paper with me, so I didn't want to eat and have to deficate on the trail. But that apple was a wild Granny Smith. It was the most delicious apple I had ever eaten (at least right then while i was a bit dehydrated and hungry) that I actually turned around and got 5 more for the trip ahead. 

By this time I was at the 4.5 mile marker letting me know that I was almost to the trail access that I was going to have my friend pick me up at. But I started thinking "its really not that much further into town." So I kept going. By this time im an emotional wreck, and everything is making me want to cry. I had begun "unpacking" emotions and situations that had happened and just really doing some mental and emotional cleaning and soul searching. My feet were in pain, my lower back was numb from the pain. But I just kept telling myself to keep going. Honestly I have no fixed memory of what I was thinking about at the time. What feelings I was having. Nothing. It would come in waves, I would think about it and play scenarios out in my head and then move on to the next thought. They kept coming like waves, and it seemed like everytime I would come up for a breath I would get hit with another one. 

After I got past the 4 mile marker and saw the 3.5 marker I was completely lost. So everything at that point was new. Which brought on its own set of emotional tidal waves. I started talking to myself and the universe or whatever spirit or god wanted to hear me and listen to the ramblings of a fat man walking in the woods. At one point I came to a large tunnel that ran under a road that I had driven over many times before, but did not realize that there was a trail that went under it. And there was a breeze that was passing through it that made it feel like an air conditioner, which took my breath away because I was really hot. I just stood there for a moment, and cooled down.

Then walking through it, I noticed all the graffiti that was on the walls and had thought about my friends from California who are street artists and how they would have loved that tunnel and would have used it as one big canvas for something im sure that would have been worthy of an art gallery.

Just on the other side of this tunnel was a long stretch of forest trail that had the most lush and prehistoric looking Sword Ferns that I have ever seen. These have quickly become one of my favorite forest plants that I have come across. So as I was marveling at the natural beauty around me, and coming to an open field, something walked out onto the road and caught my eye. At first I thought that it was a small dog or a racoon or something like that, but it was an orange tom cat. As I approached it I thought that someone may have abandoned it out there. But as the trees began thinning and I got closer to the clearing, I could see that there were houses on either side of me, and that this little guy had a collar on, and a well worn trail where he had walked many times before. But trust me, I was more than ready to scoop him up and bring him home with me, even though Bella probably would have killed both him and I.

When I had walked about 1500 yards, I could see the highway into town. This of course brought tears to my eyes, realizing how close I was to the end of the trail, and thinking about how many times I had driven that stretch of road and never knew that there was all of this beauty and semi hidden trail. Walking under the freeway and realizing that I had less than 2.5 miles to go before I was at the end of my journey, I began getting really giddy. More street art adorned the overpass. 

When I came to the 2 mile marker of the trail, I almost lost it. Years prior, when I had first moved to Washington, I had walked to the 2 mile marker from the end of the trail, and realized that it was literally all downhill from there, but in the best possible way.  My thoughts and emotions were all over the place. When I came to the 1 mile marker. I started crying uncontrollably. I started talking to my dad, my grandma, and grandpa, telling them how proud they would be of me for making it that far, and for having done something like that in the first place. I could see my end goal in sight. I know that section of the trial all to well, as I walk it several times a month. When I got to the 1/2 mile marker I called my friend and told her where to pick me up. There was a part of me that wanted to keep walking. To keep walking past the trails end, all the way to the end of the road where it met the ocean. But I had kept her waiting by her phone all day, and didn't want to make her wait around for me any longer than what she already had.

As I approached the end of the trail, where it meets a parking lot. It felt like my steps were getting heavier and harder to make. Like subconsciously I didn't want it to end. That even though I was in pain, and numb, that I needed to keep going. But the spark of sanity that I had left told me that it was more of an accomplishment than I was giving myself credit for. Stepping off the trail, and walking to where I told my friend I would meet her, was difficult. Time was off for me. I kept having flashbacks to where I was, what I had seen, and to a smaller degree who i was when I started vs who I was when it ended. Yeah it was only a few hours, and several miles of walking. But it really did have that profound of an effect on me. Especially since the week before I was seriously depressed, and had being toying with the idea of just ending it once and for all. But here I was. I had accomplished a goal that I had set for the following summer, and had accomplished it almost 7 months ahead of schedule. 

When I saw my friends car pull up, I lost all control I had and began crying. She was more than ecstatic for me, and just as shocked as I was that I had done it. I kept my sobbing under control the best that I could, just letting hot tears streak down my face. My back was in spasms, my feet felt like they were broken. My shins hurt, my calves were cramping. But I had done it. I had made a trip that this time last year would have been impossible. 

For days after my walk, I had what I can only describe as PTSD from it. I just kept having flashbacks to parts of the trail. Remembering things that I saw, the scent, the sounds. I have since started watching Trail Vloggers, and watching their journey's. And they all have said the same thing. That when they end a hike, that they get what they call "post trail depression".  I have now downloaded several hiking apps, that show all of the trails in my area, and their ratings. And I have also began stockpiling hiking gear. I've been walking with a school backpack with about 7lbs of stuff in it, just to get used to walking with a pack on. My friends husband, gave me one of his old hunting packs and told me that he has some other items that he was going to give me.

I have already planned my next "big" walk. Its just under 14 miles, and another one that I plan on doing next summer too. I would try to do it now, but its fall/winter here in the PNW now and i'm still not that experienced, and still need to build up the strength and stamina to do so. And plus it will give me some more time to get things together for it. 

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[haleyfury]

April was another month filled with ups and downs. I’m super grateful for my health and safety right now, but I am definitely missing college life and like everyone, wondering when we’ll be able to get back to some state of ‘normalcy.’ This month, I technically finished my undergraduate work (online), had some fun Zoom sessions and reunions with friends, and again had so many books and TV shows as comfort.

The Thousandth Floor by Katharine McGee | 4/5 Stars

The Thousandth Floor was the first book of April that fit my ‘let me catch up on all the YA dystopian contemporary (trust me it’s a category)’ and shortly after reading, found myself buying books #2 and #3.

Undercover Bromance (Bromance Book Club #2) by Lyssa Kay Adams | 5/5

Undercover Bromance was such a great companion sequel to The Bromance Book Club. It also made me realize how much I need a book featuring the Russian.

Brunch and Other Obligations by Suzanne Nugent (ARC) | 4/5

It had been a while since I picked up a women’s fiction book, but I enjoyed Brunch and Other Obligations for its slightly comedic twist.

Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris | 3/5

My sister finally got me to read Behind Closed Doors in April. It definitely wasn’t the best book ever (sorry sis), but at the same time, I couldn’t seem to put it down. 

Not the Girl You Marry by Andie J. Christopher | 4/5

I took a little break from (adult) contemporary romances in April , but I’m glad I still read Not the Girl You Marry. Despite the mixed reviews for this one, I thought it was a cute & funny read.

Kindred Spirits by Rainbow Rowell (novella/reread) | 5/5

I finally started my rereads of 2020 in April, which began with Rainbow Rowell’s novella, Kindred Spirits. Now having seen 8/9 of the Star Wars films – so excited that Rise of Skywalker will be available on May 4th on Disney+! – and The Mandalorian, I was able to really admire and relates to its adorable Star Wars-ness.

Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan | 4/5

Staying at home has caused me to take all the books I haven’t read off my shelves, which included Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore. Not my favorite book in the world, but I see what the hype is about and did appreciate its bookishness.

More than Maybe by Erin Hahn (ARC) | 5/5

My favorite book of April, I cannot stop thinking about Erin Hahn’s upcoming, More than Maybe. Everything was PERFECT about this July 2020 release following two teens who have a love for music and secret crushes for each other.

You’d Be Mine by Erin Hahn (reread) | 4.5/5

More Than Maybe made me want to reread Erin Hahn’s You’d Be Mine. I usually procrastinate on my re-reads but I immediately started reading You’d Be Mine after finishing More Than Maybe. I actually enjoyed You’d Be Mine even more upon my reread. It’s definitely the darker of the two books, but I really appreciated the story, romance, and character development this second time around.

The Selection by Kiera Cass | 4/5

Yes, I finally read The Selection in 2020, and yes, I’M ADDICTED!

You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone by Rachel Lynn Solomon | 3.5/5

I loved You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone’s story and writing style, but I could not stand one of its two main protagonists.

The Elite (The Selection #2) by Kiera Cass | 4/5

Still addicted to this trilogy, but America annoyed me so much with her indecisiveness.

Younger S1 (TV Land) – Many people who love books and publishing seems to watch Younger. I blew through the first season in three sittings – it’s 100% the type of show that you can watch 5 episodes in a row without realizing. However, I didn’t think it really brought anything new to the table and it was really inaccurate about how books and publishing work at times.

Unorthodox (Netflix) – Definitely my most serious watch of the month, I really enjoyed Unorthodox, having loved its storytelling and cinematography. After watching, I added Deborah Feldman’s memoir of the same name to my TBR.

Below Deck S7 & Below Deck Sailing Yacht (Bravo) – This month proved that reality TV is a comfort of mine, as I consumed the entirety of Below Deck S7 and the first 9 episodes of Below Deck Sailing Yacht in under two weeks- I’m currently up-to-date with the latter and watch every week. Below Deck Mediterranean S5 was recently announced for this summer, so I’m debating on trying to watch the first four seasons before then. There are so many good shows coming to Netflix in May, so we’ll see how fast I fly through those first before giving into Bravo.

Baker and the Beauty S1 (Prime) – Because I have to be both a TV and book hipster, I decided to watch the original/Israeli Baker and the Beauty before diving into the American version on ABC. I really loved this show and thought it was so funny. I’m looking forward to watching the second season in May and starting the American adaptation.

Schitt’s Creek S6 Finale (PopTV) – I talked about the Schitt’s Creek finale in my April If We Were Having Coffee, but I’m still feeling both so content about the way the show ended and sad it’s over.

Continued Watching: Family Karma (LOVED IT!), Brooklyn Nine-Nine S7 (Meh about it)

Reviews

FOODIE ROM-COM: Tweet Cute Review & Inspired Recipe

FEMINIST TEAM SPIRIT: We Are the Wildcats Review

LIVE LOVE BROMANCE: Undercover Bromance Review

HONEY READ ME: The Honey-Don’t List Review

SWEETEST YA: What I Like About You Review & Inspired Cupcake Recipe

Bookish & Fangirl Fun: 

STRESS PURCHASES, ARCS, & LIBRARY HOLDS: April 2020 Book Haul

What I Watch on YouTube

Binge-Read Recommendations: What I’ve Read in 2020 So Far Edition

Bookish News Round Up #2: Release Date Changes, New Books, & More

Fangirl News Round Up #3: Upcoming Books, TV, & Event Updates

If We Were Having Coffee: Current Entertainment Faves & Other Life Things

The Prediction Book Tag

My Middle Grade Reads: Inspired by The Eye of Zeus

Officially done with undergraduate work – Graduating is a bittersweet experience to begin with, but even more so for my fellow seniors and me since we had to finish our degrees online. I’m still working for my on-campus job and have a few online celebrations over the next few weeks, but I submitted the draft of my media & communications capstone today! My school is holding a virtual commencement on our original graduation day, but they recently scheduled our (tentative) in-person commencement to August! I guess you can say that I’m graduated, but it won’t be official until the end of the May when my graduation application is confirmed and my diploma comes in the mail in the new few weeks.

Twenty Young Podcast – One of my best friends and I have been listening to a lot of podcasts lately, which made us think 1) where all the podcasts for women in the twenties and in between college and professional life? And 2) why don’t we give podcasting a try? We then decided to create the Twenty Young Podcast, available on Spotify! I’m going to have a blog post all about our podcast in May.

 What did you read and watch in April? Have you read or watched anything I mentioned? Share in the comments!

CONTEMPORARY READS & REALITY TV MOOD: April 2020 Wrap Up April was another month filled with ups and downs. I’m super grateful for my health and safety right now, but I am definitely missing college life and like everyone, wondering when we’ll be able to get back to some state of ‘normalcy.’ This month, I technically finished my undergraduate work (online), had some fun Zoom sessions and reunions with friends, and again had so many books and TV shows as comfort.

[flauntpage]

Blue Jays Mailbag: Which AL East Team Should Toronto Be Most Worried About?

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports Canada.

Andrew Stoeten answers your questions in our Blue Jays Mailbag, which runs weekly at VICE Sports. You can send him questions at stoeten@gmail.com, and follow him on Twitter.

The Blue Jays continue to inch toward .500, and toward relevance in the American League. And although the trade deadline is still more than six weeks away, the thoughts of the fan base seem to have turned to reinforcements, and what the front office can do to make this roster better.

And while no realistic answer about the 2017 Jays' trade prospects is going to be satisfying to fans clamouring for better options in the bullpen, in left field, and at second base, as we open up this week's Blue Jays mailbag, we learn that such trivialities aren't going to stop fans from speculating! So let's dig in, with an especially transaction-heavy early-June edition!

If you have a Blue Jays question you'd like me to tackle for next week, be sure to send it to stoeten@gmail.com. As always, I have not read any of Griff's answers.

At the start of the season, you said the Red Sox were most likely to challenge the Jays for 1st in the AL East. In mid-June, the Yankees have a 3 1/2 game lead. Do you still think the Red Sox are the biggest obstacle in the Jays way to winning the division?

Jonathan

Yeah, I do.

Despite also leading their divisions, I don't think the Twins or the Brewers are real, either.

Which isn't to say that the Yankees aren't better than a lot of people gave them credit for, myself included. I expected that they'd be pesky, and that they wouldn't be pushovers in their games against the Jays, but after all the veterans they traded last July and over the winter, I certainly didn't expect this.

But I also don't expect this to continue. Aaron Judge looks legit, but he isn't Mike Trout. Nothing about Aaron Hicks has ever suggested he's anything close to one of the ten best hitters on the planet. Right now Didi Gregorius ranks just inside the top 60 in wRC+ among hitters with at least 150 plate appearances, and there are six Yankees regulars who rank ahead of him. Six!!! And stupid Jordan Montgomery is giving them productive starts, to boot! That shit is nuts!

These Yankees may not fall off to the point where they're still not really good, but they will fall off. They have 102 games still left to play. A lot can happen. The Yankees entered Monday with a four-game division lead on the second-place Red Sox, who are only 3.5 up on the last-place Blue Jays in the tight AL East.

And while the Red Sox have been a bit of a delicious mess so far, I still think that, top to bottom, they have the most talented roster in the American League, outside of Houston. That usually means they'll be the team to beat. Not always, but usually. And I don't think I've seen enough yet to bet against that. Even with the Yankees doing the best to make us all question everything we've ever believed in.

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Jays badly need a good lefty in the pen, which LHRP would you like the Jays to target? My pick: Brad Hand.

Newfound Lanny

Yeah... I don't think the Jays badly need a good lefty in the 'pen.

They certainly could use one if a good one came along at the right price, but the acquisition of bullpen lefties seems to have become something of an obsession these last few years among Jays fans who haven't quite yet noticed that they've been doing just fine getting lefties out.

Obviously having Brett Cecil during the club's runs in 2015 and 2016 helped a lot in this regard. And obviously getting left-handed hitters out is important. But do we have to sweat so much about which hand someone throws with when they're doing so?

No. No, we don't.

Hand, as you mention, was the No. 2 lefty reliever on a list of possible deadline trade candidates posted at MLB Trade Rumors on May 19. The only name above his was the Pirates' Tony Watson, whose season has gone sideways since then (he's allowed 10 earned runs over his last 10.2 innings), meaning that you're probably not wrong in identifying Hand as as one of the best options out there.

But considering that, let's play a game…

Player A: .180/.319/.410, .320 wOBA, 47 batters faced Player B: .234/.333/.319, .288 wOBA, 54 batters faced Player C: .182/.333/.277, .278 wOBA, 57 batters faced Player D: .189/.211/.216, .189 wOBA, 38 batters faced Player E: .228/.276/.326, .264 wOBA, 98 batters faced

Player A? It's Brad Hand, and the numbers we're looking at are how opposing left-handed batters have fared against him so far this year.

Players B through E? Joe Smith, Ryan Tepera, Danny Barnes, and Joe Biagini.

The samples are small, yes, but for me it underlines the fact that it's more important to just have good pitchers. Handedness matters, but no so much that we need to use words like "need" or "badly need" about a problem that doesn't really exist.

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Hi Stoeten With Devon Travis out potentially long term, will it take another injury for the blue jays to see what they have in Jason Leblebijian? Tough to watch Barney/Goins every night at 2B. Thanks! Joshua

I get where you're coming from on this, because it definitely has been tough to watch those two at the plate lately, but Goins and Barney have been good soldiers for this club. They seem to be well-liked and well-respected. And given that this a club that relies so much on a pair of injury-prone middle infielders, having backups that are as capable with the glove as those two makes a bit of sense.

The way Leblebijian has hit in Buffalo so far this season, he's earned himself a closer look, but I think the Jays will really have to be compelled to ditch one of Goins or Barney in order to bring him here. And "ditching" them is what would be necessary, because Goins is out of options and Barney can refuse the assignment and elect free agency.

Alternatively, they could DFA Chris Coghlan to clear a spot for Leblebijian and I don't think anybody would bat an eye. But Coghlan may well be the player who is due to lose his roster spot once Steve Pearce is ready. And with Pearce due back soon, and capable of playing a little bit of second base in his own right (especially when the Jays' more fly-ball-heavy pitchers are on the mound), I guess my question is, how badly do the Jays even need to force a move here?

Will the difference between Leblebijian and Goins or Barney for a few days be enough to justify losing a key piece of organizational depth just to bring him up? Or to justify shortening their bullpen? Do we believe enough in his defence and that his Triple-A numbers will translate?

I'm sure it's possible that there could come a point where the front office decides the pros outweigh the cons here, but I don't think the case is overwhelming just yet. Even though, like you, I'm curious to see what he might do, too.

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With Pearce 0 for rehab and Zeke and Coghlan looking less than stellar what can be done with Left Field between now and trade deadline?

Scott

Not to be too glib, but... uh... Steve Pearce can get healthy and fans can start to recognize that Ezequiel Carrera has actually been pretty good?

Shit, he hasn't even just been "pretty good," he's been "good." Maybe even better than good!

Yes, yes, the defensive gaffes are tough to watch sometimes, but Carrera has wiped away all those sins with a legitimately impressive season at the plate so far. Zeke's Thunder has carried him to a .292/.363/.410 slash line, and a 111 wRC+. Part of the reason he's been able to be so good is that John Gibbons has shielded him from left-handed pitching—something that's helped because, despite having a strong reverse split over his three previous seasons, this year, in a tiny sample against lefties, the left-handed hitting Carrera has been abysmal. If Carrera was a true everyday player (like the guys I'm about to compare him to) his numbers almost certainly wouldn't be as good.

Toronto has been missing the versatile Pearce for the last month, but Carrera has held down the fort in left. Photo by Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

Still, though, Mookie Betts has a 112 wRC+! Same for Josh Reddick. Miguel Cabrera ranks below Carrera at 110. Also behind Carrera: Chris Davis, Michael Brantley, Wil Myers, Jose Bautista, Dustin Pedroia, A.J. Pollock, and nearly 150 hitters with at least 150 plate appearances so far this season!

I can't imagine he'll keep this up for the whole year, and I do think that left field is a place where the Jays should and will look to upgrade, it's just... I don't know that they're going to have all that much incentive to do anything dramatic. To find a player who will give them more than Carerra is giving them right now—and more than what they'll presumably get from a platoon of Carrera and Pearce, once the latter returns (and no, his rehab stats don't matter)—currently looks like it would be an expensive proposition. That could change, of course—Carrera's production could fall off a cliff and Pearce could come back in as much of a funk as he was in April—but it's really not a problem until it's a problem.

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Hey Stoeten, Big fan - keep it up. Two questions. First, if Smoak continues to be for real in July/August, do the Jays consider doubling-down and extending him again? How good does he have to be, for how long, before there's an extension conversation? (Not advocating for this, just wondering). Second, what's the deal with the Giants? Do they not mind the stench of human urine?

Cheers, Tim

Whoa! Holy hell, man! Let's maybe not rush too quickly into hoping the Jays become the team that signs Justin Smoak to his big post-breakout contract... when he's 32... with a track record that will still be overwhelmingly underwhelming. If, one year from today, this question still seems like a reasonable one—and not totally and utterly batshit, like it would have seemed as recently as April—fire up your barbecue, purchase some illegal fireworks, get liquored up and take a load of air horns up to the roof, because it's time for a goddamn celebration! At that point you can maybe start thinking about thinking about extending Smoak. Until then? Just enjoy the bloody ride and hope it doesn't end in carnage.

As for the Giants, to be perfectly honest, I'd have taken a roll of the dice on Sam Dyson, too.

Blue Jays Mailbag: Which AL East Team Should Toronto Be Most Worried About? published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv