#and i was just happy watching the blue jay while they built the house
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legaylity · 11 months ago
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Oh God I just had a horrible thought!!
I'm playing the "Uncle's Bad Day" mission and Charles was saying that stuff about it might be better to stop the pain. Just the way he said it made me wonder what if when Charles found Arthur he either wasn't completely dead or Charles found evidence he was up there for a few days before dying. Just the sheer guilt of not finding him sooner and Arthur having to suffer like that especially when Charles during the hunting missions wants to make sure the animals don't suffer. Maybe it wasn't just knowing that Uncle was gonna bitch about it forever if he survived, maybe it was what he wished he could have done for Arthur. He didn't want to have to watch another person he cared about suffering when this time he could do something sooner.
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ellabehavior · 2 years ago
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Matilda ~ JJ Maybank ✯
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Summary: You’ve grown up not being able to show much affection because of your family, but JJ knows just how to heal your wounds.
Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Mention of abuse, a lil suggestive content
A/N: hope y’all enjoy! request r open!
-
You've always been rather cautious about accepting hugs from people. Even as a young child, you might have hesitantly accepted a hug or just stood there not really knowing what to do. Likewise, expressing your love has always been difficult for you because it’s not something you would do very often inside your house hold.
Your parents never really said the words ‘I love you’. Sure, they’d sometimes give words of affirmation once in every blue moon, or they might hug you on special occasions but you never really got the feeling of true family love.
As a kid you would always watch family movies, or look at your friends parents and wonder ‘why are they so nice?’ or ‘how come they rarely argue?’
That is when you started realizing this behavior is not normal.
But once you and JJ started dating, things started to change; your displays of affection began to get stronger and more obvious.
He showed you how to love.
Your dreams, your kisses, your hearts, and your love for each other were all shared by the two of you.
You and JJ both know every last detail about one another. You were able to wipe away every tear that came from JJ's memories with kisses since you were aware of JJ's father and his early years. This may be why you two matched so well.
However, your family? You preferred not to bring it up. Naturally, your partner was aware of the awful ways in which your parents treated you, but you would never go into detail because doing so would trigger unpleasant memories.
That is until one sleepless night you couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“Jay” you whispered through your tears trying to wake him up out of his sleep.
“Baby?” He rubbed his eyes and seen the tears pouring down your face “Baby no, come here.” He said with a pout and pulled you in.
“JJ I had a dream about my parents and it brought back everything, and my mom was telling me about how I didn’t deserve you and-”
JJ then placed a soft kiss on your lips to calm you down.
“Calm down baby, i’m right here for you. I’ll be here all night. It was just a dream, i’m forever yours I promise.” He says in a soothing voice while rubbing your back hoping it’ll calm you even a little bit.
Since your mother called you on the phone two days earlier, he was aware that something was wrong. You’ve have been so silent since that phone call, he was skeptical about what was said, but he decided to not push it unless you were ready to tell him.
After a few minutes of crying and back rubs you’ve finally chilled out enough to tell him what was going on.
“When my mother called me two days ago, I thought it would be good and we could just catch up. I thought she'd be happy of me for where I've gone in life, but all she did was yell and tell me how she wishes I were different. I've been having dreams ever since, and I can't handle it any more.” At the end of your sentence, your voice begins to tremble, indicating another sob.
JJ immediately notices this and pulls you in tighter.
“Baby, please don’t ever believe those words. I fell in love with you for who you are, your the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Everything about you is perfect to me, the way you giggle, the way you snore, and even when you upset me I can’t find a single flaw about you.” He says with his hands on both sides of your cheeks.
“I don’t deserve to be loved by someone like you.” you whisper
“Don’t even say that.” JJ says in a serious tone with tears starting to form in his eyes. “I wouldn’t even be able to think without you, much less live without you.”
The look in his eyes was very serious. You were his oxygen, he never wanted to hear something like that from you. Without you, he wouldn't be able to breathe.
JJ finally broke the built up tension and pressed your lips together. Minutes upon minutes of the need to be closer to eachother.
You depended the kiss and pushed JJ back so you were on top of him.
“Jay” you said staring into his eyes while unbuttoning his pants.
He softly pushed you off and buttoned his pants back up. “Not tonight baby, I want to show you my love in a different way.” he breathed out
“Okay.” you said while he laid down and pushed you against him.
That night all you guys did was share little pecks, talk about stupid things, and hold onto eachother tight.
This was it, this is what you’ve been searching for since you were 7. This is what your parents swore would never happen to you, This is true unconditional love.
“I love you J”
“I love you more.”
-
‘I can't be who you
want me to be if who that is isn't who I am.
To love me is to accept me.’
- Baggage Reclaim
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simply-shakera · 2 years ago
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2022 Reflections
Happy New Year Everyone! Welcome to my annual blog where I reflect on the year that has passed.
2022 was a preview of just how good it can get!
I set out to surpass the goals that I set for myself; and in many ways I did just that. Most days were really hard on me mentally and physically but I am extremely grateful for the work I have done over the years to develop strong support systems.
The past year included a variety of loss - from people to relationships, to things. Such is life they say, but that didn’t make coping any easier. In the spring, beloved Jamaican patty shop Randy’s closed their doors. This restaurant was such a huge part of my upbringing and Caribbean identity in Toronto. Since there has been often times I would say to myself, “let me go grab some curry goat from Randy’s”, only to remember that they are no longer in business. I really hope they do come back.
Rest in peace Peter Moncrieffe, my beloved fitness trainer and member of the Alldunamis family. Who we lost unexpectedly. I continue to lift his family and ministry up in prayer. His celebration of life was such a beautiful display of how he loved and was loved. We will miss you.
Then there was the tragic loss of Twitch. This tragic news of how he passed was absolutely gutting; I’m still in disbelief. Although he was a public figure that I never met, he was a legend in the dance community and gave us a positive example of what was possible as a Black dance artist. His success on So You Think You Can Dance was such a source of inspiration for me early in my dance career. It was an honour to watch him grow, start his family and blossom as a public figure. I will cherish the Breakfast Television episode we shared in 2021.
For some reason 2022 felt like three years in one. January - March, while Toronto was still in lock down, was slow and steady. The pace was great. I was able to strategize what I wanted the year to look like and prepare for the days aheads.
From April -August,  things picked up intensely and did not stop. We were outside again for the first time in months! During this time, I built beautiful brand partnerships, grew Carnival Spice and navigated challenging family dynamics. I worked my butt off ya’ll and served with my whole heart. Still, there was joy mixed with chaos and celebration combined with some sadness. Still we rise.
Then boom, it was like September came in as a whole new year, and my world halted. I was TIRED. Not burnt out, just really tired and had no interest in doing anything but sleep. So that I did. I finally made time to travel since the pandemic and really took this time to heal and rest.
With that said, I feel really proud of what I’ve accomplished this past year.
Here are a few moments I would like to highlight:
Worked with brands such as: City of Toronto, Pepsi, CAMH, Trillium Health, Phnx Fit House, Jamieson Canada, Canada’s Wonderland and more.
Created a trending soca tik tok challenge to Kes The Band’s “Jolene”
Met Shensea, @thebirdspapaya, and Devi brown, plus watched Spice and Londrelle perform live.
Won the Afropolitan Canada award for “Influencer of the Year”.
Performed a Toronto Blue Jays game!!!!!
Mc’d the first Caribbean Carnival parade in Atlantic Canada.
Developed a beautiful a partnership with Knix.
Took a vacation out of the country.
The quote above is an affirmation that I crafted in the most beautiful and supportive environment while on vacation a few weeks ago. May it be the foundation for the year ahead as I am met with the ebbs and flows of life.
Joy is key. Forgiveness is key. Discipline is key.
To whoever may need this, I am happy I can share it with you… releasing it out of my notebook and into the atmosphere.
2023 I welcome more love, more light and more ease… and I would love the same for you. Thank you for reading.
Xo,
Shakera
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kittydemon9000 · 4 years ago
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I wrote a thing for @anxiousworm‘s Spirit Kai au which has been living rent free in my brain for the last however long so ENJOY
In all his years of living, his first memories were both the worst and best of his life.
Granted, he was pretty sure they weren’t actually his first. He always had a vague sense he was missing something, something that came before, but alas.
He remembered standing before a rundown home, something inside pulling him like a tether.
He remembered passing through the door and the overwhelming smell of alcohol and empty bottles that littered the entire room.
He remembered following the tether to a small closet in the back of the house.
He remembered the soft sniffles.
He remembered the burning rage that filled his soul.
But it was nothing compared to when he opened the door.
Curled up in a tight ball was a young child, if he had to guess she was maybe three or four years old.
She looked at him with tear streaked cheeks and water eyes and mumbled a simple question.
“Who are you?”
“I….I don’t know.”
Her name was Nya, and she was the first of many children.
He remembered pulling her into a hug, only for her to disappear.
But he didn’t panic. Something about it felt….right.
He remembered the heat of the fires as they consumed the house.
He remembered the look of pure happiness when he visited Nya in Home, a place where no one but him and those he brought could go. A place where he could raise his Children in peace and happiness.
He remembered the first time she called him Brother, saying that he reminded her a lot of her real older brother, someone by the name of Kai
He was never able to find Kai, much to both of their disappointment.
So yes. They were his worst memories, but also his best.
And after Nya, there were hundreds more children, and he remembered every single one.
Most, he brought back Home, so he could raise them along with the others, but some he gave to new families.
A particular case that stood out to him was an infant. The father was always busy and didn’t care for him, oftentimes going weeks without even being in the same room.
He didn’t know how he knew these things, he just did.
Luckily, he’d found the infant a new home, in a scrapyard belonging to a lovely couple who’d sadly been unsuccessful in having a child of their own. Every once in a while he would check in on them, and they were doing a fantastic job.
Another case was a boy he’d found wandering the snow, lost and confused. He couldn’t explain what it was, but despite the child’s older exterior, he was still young. Very young with much of the world left to experience.
He’d brought him Home, but the boy only stayed a short while, claiming he wished to find his place in the world, and who was he to deny his request.
Then, a few months later, another child, this one running away from a special school. He always hated those places. What was the point of having a child if you were going to send them away to be raised by someone else?
But, alas, there wasn’t much he could do for him. He also brought him to Home, but he too wanted to go out.
Then…..there was Lloyd. Poor, sweet, not-too innocent Lloyd.
He had found him wandering the island, causing mischief as he went. But deep down, he knew Lloyd was never bad, simply misguided. Built up to be this great son of the dark lord, when really he was just a young boy who needed guidance.
He had at first hated Home, wanting to go back to Ninjago, but after a few days and some coaxing from the other children, he loved it. He realized there was no expectations for him there or a need to compete for attention. All of it was freely given.
He would never admit it allowed, but Lloyd became one of his favorites, right alongside Nya.
But beyond the troubles, life was good. His Children were happy, safe and learning from the security of Home.
But then there was the Great Serpent. The first of many tragedies.
So many children were lost, so many more lost their families, and even more were traumatized. Like the young Harumi, who had yet to speak a word since he retrieved her.
Then, there was the Stone Army, impenetrable soldiers who wouldn’t hesitate to kill the children they found.
He saved even less that time. He remembered being so terrified, thinking he’d failed, but actually they had been saved by The Protectors, but more on them later.
Then….there was the Golden Spirit.
The Golden Spirit was a creature of destruction and death and suffering. It’s aura was wicked and dark and threatened to consume him completely. It probably would have…..if it weren’t for the White Protector.
And oh the agony he felt when he was killed. He was tethered to every one of his Children, and losing one was already an unbearable pain. But, the force of his tether snapping was more painful than any time before it. Like he was truly being erased from existence.
Luckily he was returned soon, though the scars remained.
Which led him to now, standing before his Children.
“Who are you?” Cole demanded. “And why are you stealing kids?”
But he just smiled. “It is good to see you again, my Children. I hope life has been kind.”
Jay sputtered. “What are you saying?!? And why are you calling us your kids?”
But he just smiled. But of course, his Children were just confused. They’d been fighting for so long, never having a rest. He wanted to give that to them.
“You have been fighting for so long, it is time for you to rest.”
They went in guard. The leader stepped forward.
“We don’t want a fight. Just tell us why you’re taking children and we’ll go.”
“I do not take the Children. I am rescuing them.” He started. “I help them escape from families who do not love them, I give them places to stay when they don’t have any families at all, I show them the love they deserve.” He paused, looking them all over. “Just like I did for all of you.”
They all froze. “What are you talking about?” Zane asked.
It always hurt when he had to alter their memories of Home, but it was for the safety of all. However, he always kept the fun.
“Jay.” He said. “You were too young to remember, but when you were an infant and I delivered you to your parents, I did not leave you alone.” Jay looked perplexed, so he continued. “You recall the blue stuffed creature that you’ve had since you were young? What did you name it….Mr…..Mr….”
“Mr.Cuddlywhump!” Jay exclaimed. “I still have him!”
“Jay!” Cole hissed, but he was already beaming.
His Child loved his gift. He loved it enough to keep it well into his older years, something many didn’t do. I warmed his heart.
“And Cole.” he turned to him. “When you ran away, I was the one to get you somewhere safe.”
Cole glared. “No you didn’t, it was…...was…..” he trailed off, clearly struggling to remember.
“I had to erase your memories, in order to keep the others safe. You didn’t want to remain at Home, so I took you somewhere safe.”
He turned to the last of his Children.
“And Zane. I found you wandering the icy woods, lost and afraid. I brought you Home, then let you back into the word. Surely you recall a handful of years you cannot properly remember, yes?”
The silence coming from him was telling.
“Why did you let us go?” He finally asked. He felt his smile fall slightly.
“I do not mean to keep my Children captive. They all stay there by their own will. Once they are old enough, or if I find them a family, I let them back into the world. But, every child I have taken in, every single one, I watch over. And the second they need me again, I’m right back there.”
His smile fell away completely. “But I….I failed you. All of you. You were placed in danger time and time again because of my decisions. And in the end….” he looked to Zane. “it cost you your life. But not longer.” His cloak has started flaring up and a few of his fire lights started glowing brighter, but he quickly calmed himself. He didn’t want to scare his Children anymore than he already had.
“But that is why I’m here now. To take you back Home, where you’ll be safe once again.”
“Wait a minute, hold on, we can’t just leave!” Jay exclaimed. “Ninjago needs us to protect them!”
Oh boy, he thought this might happen. His Children were quite stubborn, it seemed.
He waved his hand. “The police can handle it. It is, after all, what they are supposed to do. You are children. Your job is to grow and learn, not protect an entire world.”
They started protesting, but he wasn’t having it.
“Hush now, you will be safe.”
He spread his cloak and carefully let it descend upon the and then….
They were gone. Disappeared and sent to the safety of Home, with all the others.
Hopefully they would get along with the other Children. They were definitely on the older end, but not completely out of possibility.
Nya, now quite far into her older years, would probably show them around. She was the only adult currently allowed in Home, but that may change someday. He never could bring himself to let her go, and it’s not like she wanted to leave either.
He looked to the moon, cursing at how late it had gotten. He still needed to check on a few of his Children living nearby, as well as check on the twins that lived nearby. He had a sneaking suspicion something was going on there.
Life for the Flaming Spirit, as the locals called him, was never over and never dull, and he couldn’t be happier.
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ashintheairlikesnow · 5 years ago
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“Ummmm... happy 11 or full-on-freakout 11?” Yes. The answer is yes. All of that. Both
You want happy Chris? Here’s happy Chris!
CW: Some brief references to Chris’s time with Sir, implied alcohol use at the end. Look, this is real actual fluff and you can’t tell me it’s anything else.
Tagging Chris’s crew:  @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @stxckfxck , @slaintetowhump, @astrobly, @newandfiguringitout, @doveotions
The letter comes in the mail addressed to Christopher Stanton, but he’s too scared to open it. Instead he just puts it on the kitchen table and then stares at it, off and on, through the whole fucking day while Jake is gone at meetings and doing all the stuff that Nat used to do, only this is Jake’s house now so he does it all for himself.
Antoni went with him, and officially they don’t take in other rescues yet until everything is ready, so it’s just Chris bouncing around Jake’s house, restless and unsettled, unable to sit still or stop or think about any one thing, he can’t stop thinking about everything.
He’s not sure if it being a big letter is a good sign or a bad one, and he’s too scared to look. He moves from room to room trying to pretend he’s not sneaking glances at the letter every time he has to go back into the kitchen to grab cereal to pour himself a bowl, or makes a sandwich with some chips for lunch.
Or just gets extra glasses of water so that he has to look at it again.
Jake texts to say he’ll be home at four and Chris groans, forcing himself to go outside. Four o’clock is so long, so far away, and he can’t bear to open the letter before then. If he opens the letter and it says bad things, he’ll die. He knows it, he will just curl up on the floor and die.
Outside is a little better. Chris is a flash of blue hair and a swinging silicone feather pendant as he climbs the big tree in the backyard - it’s his favorite thing about the house and when they’d gone looking for houses, Chris had carefully written CLIMBING TREE - reading and writing came back, but reading came back first and is easier than forcing his hand to move in all the ways it used to know without thinking - on the list of pros about this one after they visited. 
Each time his hands curl around a branch and his arms stretch, digging the rounded toe of his sneakers into the tiny spots that only he knows about and feeling the muscles of his thighs tense and push, he feels some of his restless energy dissipate, like the tree is soaking it up.
Somewhere in the tree’s rings, maybe, there will be a little bit of Chris’s energy written a hundred years from now. He has no idea how long trees live, he just likes the idea. He hums to himself once he’s up on the little wooden platform he built with Antoni and Jake to put up here, sitting with his legs crossed, tapping idly with hollow thumps on the wooden slats, listening to birds and squirrels and the breeze.
Somewhere nearby, a dog barks. Sirens, faint, and Chris closes his eyes. Cop car, ambulance, firetruck. Sometimes he can tell which siren is which. This one sounds like cop cars. 
It’s been years and still Chris whispers, “They’re not coming here. They’re, they’re not coming here. They’re not for us.”
His name is Christopher Stanton now, and all his documents are faked but they look real enough, and they’re real to him. The inside of his left wrist is wiped clean, a bit of scarring all that’s left of the way they took his first name but they won’t take his name again.
Not this one, the one he picked for himself. They won’t take that name away.
He gets to keep this one.
He earned it.
He lets outside soothe his jangling nerves, his dancing mind. He doesn’t try to make himself still, but sways a little, back and forth, one hand tapping, the other gripping onto the feather to run fingertips in a constant motion over the ridges carved carefully into the silicone plastic. 
He doesn’t try to think one thought but lets all of them crowd in, trains running on tracks that feel more natural than a single thought ever had. He can think about the way the veins of leaves look in the sunshine, lit from below when he holds them up, a tracery that Antoni draws again and again, murmuring something about what lives under the skin. He can think about that and still hear the squirrels and there’s a white one that lives in the other big tree, and a California scrub jay calls and calls and calls, soft sweet cheeping sounds, or maybe it’s two of them talking to each other.
He thinks of these things and he thinks of the envelope on the kitchen table and even if it’s bad, if they say no, he’ll be okay. He’ll stay here with Jake and Antoni and maybe he can be a shelter worker, too. He can learn to do those things, even if the letter says no.
He’s calmer, outside, with the blue sky above him and the green grass below, suspended on the platform in the tree, like he’s something that doesn’t belong in either place, but instead belongs in both.
If he had wings, Chris thinks, eyes closed to imagine, he’d want to have red-tailed hawk wings. Pretty and reddish - oh, but maybe no, maybe blue jay wings to match his hair. Except he read somewhere about how big wings would have to be to make a human body fly but wouldn’t people have to have hollow bones so they’d weigh less so the wings wouldn’t have to be so big.
There’s a story he reads online about a fairy with wings, curled against his back most of the time, sneaking through human places with a human person he loves. Chris grins at the memory, swaying lightly back and forth in the breeze, letting the cool of it touch his face.
He likes the story about the fairy and his human person. Both of them touched and broken until they didn’t want to be touched anymore. 
Chris likes to be touched, but he understands the feeling.
Somehow the hours move away from him - time in his tree melds with time doing yoga on the grass, feeling it tickle his head during handstands, his hair a pool of blue against the green, the feather on his necklace nearly sliding off his head. He twists and bends and pulls his body into any shape it wants, reminding himself that there are ways to move your body that don’t require someone else to tell you what to do.
It’s been almost two years, he thinks, but that’s what they tell him in therapy, it takes years and years to stop hearing the training, feeling its gentle urging to fit himself back into the narrow mold of Sir’s perfect statue boy in the bed.
He won’t be that, anymore. Ever again. 
He wears himself out with the moving, with a body in constant motion, until he’s coated in a thin film of sweat and his shirt sticks to his back and sweat trickles in drips down the back of his neck, catching in the blue hair and sticking it against skin, too.
This is the way to sweat, he thinks. Not the other way. This is the way he wants to move, and it’s his body to move however he wants to, forever and ever, from here on out.
By the time he’s showered and changed into a black T-shirt and ripped-up black jeans kind of like the ones Kauri wears sometimes when he comes by to visit, Chris feels calmer, and he keeps his eyes off the envelope as he drinks more water and goes to lie down on the couch and wait for four o’clock.
Four o’clock takes so so long to get here, but when he hears Jake’s car in the driveway, Chris pops up and all his nervous is back in full force. He’s pulling the feather on the cord back and forth, back and forth, back and forth as he meets Jake and Antoni at the door.
“It’s 4:13,” Chris says instead of hello. “You came home late.”
Jake laughs, unbothered, and pulls Chris into a tight hug. “Yeah, well. Blame an accident on Belladonna. Some fender bender took up both lanes and they had us going past on the shoulder.”
“It was very annoying,” Antoni said, moving into the kitchen, humming to himself at first, then coming to a stop.
Chris’s heart beats out of time, as he watches Antoni slowly pick the envelope up to look at it.
“Chrisha, what is this?” Antoni asks, confused. “Colinas Blancas University...” His voice trails off, and then he turns around, and Jake’s arms tighten around Chris as the two men realize at the same moment “But this is early! It is not supposed to come yet!”
“Do, do, do do do you think that’s, um, that’s bad?” Chris asks, voice small, uncertain. He taps on Jake’s side, a reminder, and Jake gives him a quick, breezy kiss to the hair before he pulls Chris into the kitchen with him. 
“Nah, it doesn’t mean anything but that they got the letters out earlier than they thought,” Jake says, but his voice is strained. He’s nervous, too, and his arm around Chris’s shoulders is holding him tightly. “Did you open it yet?”
“No,” Antoni answers for Chris, turning it back and forth. “He has not. It is... has lots of paper in it. Is that good or bad?”
Jake doesn’t answer right away, just licks his lips and holds out his hand for Antoni to hand it over. He looks at the university’s logo and return address in the top corner, and then takes a deep breath. “Here, Chris. It’s your letter. You open it.”
The envelope paper is smooth and very white, bleached-bright, except for the deep maroon of the school’s logo. His own name is written in thin black text on the front. Christopher Stanton.
He bounces on his toes with the nerves that need expressing and have nowhere to go, tearing at the corner of the envelope where the adhesive isn’t strong and then ripping the top of the envelope open, ragged-edge tears. Somewhere in his mind, he hears a woman’s voice, light with humor. Too excited to take your time, baby? Well, nobody gets birthday presents for the wrapping paper, I guess.
There’s a flicker of pain, but he ignores it, doesn’t let it crowd him in. Things he doesn’t remember anymore aren’t going to take this moment from him.
He drops the envelope carelessly to the floor and for once neither of the older men says anything, they just watch Chris, heart in his throat, slowly open the letter up, unfolding pure white paper from inside.
  “’Dear Christopher’,” Chris reads, his voice shaking, and he hears a sound from the side of him and thinks Jake is sniffing. “’D-Dear’... J-Jake-”
“Keep going,” Jake says, softly. Antoni leans in and Jake takes his hand with his free one, and the two of them look like the parents Chris might have had, once upon a time, but can’t remember.
“‘Dear Christopher,” He starts again, eyes skipping down to the next line. “‘It is... it is with great pleasure that I offer you admission to the Colinas Blancas University cl-class of two-... two-thousand and...’“ He takes in a breath, and looks up, vision blurring over with the tears. “I got in.”
A smile widens across Jake’s face, and Antoni’s eyes are glittering, too.
“I got in.” Chris jerks in breaths, his heart rabbit-fast, and he starts bouncing on his toes, the excitement curling up from his feet and making its way into his pelvis and his stomach and his heart and his brain. “I got in, in, in in I got in, I got in it’s a yes I’m going to college!”
He pulls away from Jake, clutching onto the paper, scanning the rest of the letter but he doesn’t care, all that matters is the first sentence, the first words, the CONGRATULATIONS that blinks black from the bottom at him before the signature from the Director of Admissions.
Chris drops the letter, he can’t hold it anymore, and his hands start to move with the happy that he can’t keep in, he spins in a circle and taps on the wall and on himself, bouncing up and down on his toes, swinging his body forward and back because he has to get the happiness out and his body wants to move.
“I got in I got in I got in I got in I got in-”
Jake is breathing hard, like he just ran a race, wiping a hand over his face and turning to Antoni, sniffing back his own tears and Chris thinks that Jake is proud, he’s proud of him, he’s happy too, he and Antoni are so happy, too.
“He got in,” Jake says out loud to Antoni, who only grins back at him a rare wide smile that flashes slightly crooked teeth. “Fuck, he-... Christ, Antoni, he’s in!”
“Yes, I noticed, I heard you both,” Antoni teases, picking the letter up to scan it over himself, as if his face isn’t reddened, too, as if they aren’t all three of them nearly dancing with happiness at a thing that Chris had been so scared to even dream about.
“‘We are thrilled to welcome you to the Colinas Blancas community...’“ Antoni reads, but Chris barely hears him, spinning in a circle again, his leg bouncing even when he tries to stand still, finger-twist-tap-tap-tap against his own sides, the wall, Jake’s arm, anything within reach before his hands start shaking again.
Too much, too much happiness, he has to move to get it out, has to move.
“Congratulations, man,” Jake says, his voice thick in his throat. “I’m so fucking proud of you, you worked so hard for this.”
Chris looks up at him, blinking rapidly to try and wash the blur of tears, to focus Jake’s face, and when he blinks they find their way out and run down his face. Jake hugs him, strong arms tight around him, and he hugs back, but he can’t stop tapping even so, has to tap Jake’s skin, because he’s so happy and he tried so hard and it was terrifying and he got in.
“I’m going to, to, to to college, Jake,” Chris whispers, and feels Jake’s arms tighten around him. “I’m going to college. Like everybody else.”
Like a person.
“I knew they’d let you in,” Jake whispers against his ear. “Who could ever meet you and not want you around forever?”
Chris rests himself against Jake, like he has since he was brought thinner and terrified and wrapped in a blanket years ago, but he taps and he taps and the world is bright and the birds are singing outside the window and he’s worked so so so hard for the life they’re going to let him live.
“I got in.”
“Good.” Antoni pulls a bottle out of the freezer with a crooked half-smile, wiping at his eyes. “I think this deserves a toast.”
“He’s twenty,” Jake says, warningly. “We think.”
“And he got into college, Jascha,” Antoni replies with breezy good cheer. “Let the boy have a toast for celebration.”
Jake raises an eyebrow.
Antoni smiles serenely back.
Jake finally sighs and lets Chris go. “Fine. But just one.”
“Of course,” Antoni says, and winks at Chris. “Just one.”
Chris sits in the chair with his legs crossed in front of him, watching Antoni pour clear liquid into a glass, and he’s never felt any happiness like this before. 
“You did it,” Jake says, sitting heavily down himself. “God. Fuck. You did it. I love you, man, I’m so proud of you.”
I love you.
Chris melts into three small words.
I love you.
“I love you, too,” He whispers, as Antoni pushes the glass at him across the table. “Both of you. Forever.”
Antoni pours two more glasses with a small bit of his best vodka, and then pushes one at Jake and holds one himself. “To our Chrisha,” He says, softly. “And going to college.”
“To Chris,” Jake says, firmly, lifting his glass in the air.
Chris echoes the motion, his heart is beating so fast and it’s such a good day and the world is wonderful to him.
“To, to, to college,” Chris says, and the three of them move their glasses towards each other.
Clink.
A cardinal calls outside the window.
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cheliceraekisses · 4 years ago
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Networking
F/F - Android/Mechanic - nsfw 18+
What's the point of being an ultra powerful, super fast, incredibly humble networked AI if you don't take advantage of it to plan wild surprises for your girlfriend.
(A direct sequel to my previous Naiad and Jay work that won't make much sense if you haven't ready that one - https://cheliceraekisses.tumblr.com/post/627483594485547008/vintage-voidcraft)
Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26113273
The best thing about being a networked consciousness of voidcraft navigation systems, Naiad thought, was being able to follow her girlfriend anywhere. Jay had left Ceres station almost a week ago, based on Earth’s time keeping system, on a supply run to a station a few planets over. Even driving the powerful, ultra-fast, totally humble and gorgeous N.A.I.A.D.-3, the trip was going to take almost two months. Naiad would have been lonely, staying behind on the station, if not for the fact that the ship was one of her bodies as well, and as such she was still right next to her girlfriend the entire time. Hell, with the upgrades she’d had installed in the ship, they could even fuck.
For the moment though, Naiad was focused on her android embodiment, living in their home on Ceres station. She’d decided, while Jay was gone, to prepare a surprise for her, giving the house the deep clean it needed and organizing Jay’s collection of vintage ship parts for her, like she’d been talking about. It was going well, she’d purchased some wall shelves off a vendor on the station, planning to display the parts around the house, leaving plenty of extra space for new acquisitions, and was in the process of digging around for any pieces that had been stored away, cleaning as she went.
Which was how she came to be standing in their bedroom, staring into a box she’d found tucked away in the closet. She’d opened it expecting some dusty motor or other part, yet what she found was far more exciting. A stack of old, well-read paper magazines, with titles such as Oiled Up, Playbot, Stxxl Slxts. Adorning the covers were various robotic chassis, the kind that, unlike androids, didn’t make more than a passing attempt at resembling humans, if at all. Sleek plates in every colour, visible mechanical parts beneath, faces made from display screens showing everything from emoticons to photos to, in one instance, just the words “Fxxk me.” These chassis in particular were visibly feminine, stretched and contorted across the covers, showing off various ports and non-standard accessories. Flipping through one of the books, she smiled at discovering a noticeably more crumpled page depicting a black and gold robot, sprawled over the hood of a spaceship, a hand languidly cupping an... Attachment between it’s legs. Black and gold, just like the cockpit of a N.A.I.A.D.-3. She really did have the cutest girlfriend.
She bounced onto the bed, lying back and idly flipping through one of the magazines. So Jay was into this kind of thing then. The magazines looked old, a few slight discolourations betraying what they were used for. She might well have brought them from Earth when she’d moved out of her parents’ place. How many times had her love laid here, flipping through these books with one hand, stroking herself and pawing at her adorable little tits with the other. Her skin flushing red, sweat cool in the climate controlled chill of the station, breathing heavily and shuddering from the exertion and stimulation. Naiad smiled, closing her eyes, digging through a few directories stored on her body to find some videos Jay had let her take, trying to picture how she’d look masturbating.
She’d probably be lying back, magazine somewhere around here. Her hand, rubbing against her... Well, her cock, but Naiad couldn’t replicate that right now. Picturing humans with routines built for simulations of spacecraft was a challenge, and Naiad quickly resorted to modelling the pose herself. A quick grab to her breast, that adorable little shudder that ran through her when they were played with, performed with vibrating servos and precise, calculated movements. Breathy gasps in Jay’s exact tone, stolen from late nights together and played back now worked Naiad into a frenzy, finally pushing down with her fingers and rubbing at the bundle of sensors nestled above her artificial folds. She hummed, gasping happily as her fingers slipped inside herself.
A quick shift of her attention had her watching Jay, piloting her ship, still having the time of her life with the vehicle of her dreams. Of course she knew the ship was Naiad’s body, but how would she react knowing her girlfriend was looking at her this very moment, masturbating on their bed. Deciding not to disturb her love’s driving today, (though she filed the idea away for later) Naiad simply watched, letting her attention roam wherever she pleased. Strong worker’s arms flexed beneath a blue flannel shirt, as Jay expertly piloted the ship through the stars. Her small breasts rose and fell slightly with her calm, even breathing, and the chair she sat on picked up the rhythms of her heart, so alive and human.
Naiad moaned, desperately holding back from letting on over the ship’s speakers what she was up to, rutting hard against her hand until she came, sensors whiting out as she overstimulated her body. She let her mind float for a time, ignoring physical space and instead coming down from her high in the strange network space inhabited by multiply-embodied AI. Had Jay been here she would have wanted to go again, but as it stood, she was happy to simply drift, semi-conscious.
Finally, she pulled her attention back to the physical. She poked at Jay’s ship, giving a quick “I love you, babe,” over the speakers, barely waiting to see her blush before returning her focus to the body lying in their bed, still rubbing away, as she’d left it. She winced at the feedback from her poor, abused clit, pulling her hand away, and looked over at the magazine next to her on the bed. So, Jay was into robots as well as androids, hmm? Perhaps a second surprise was in order.
She tried to pull up a connection to the internet, frowning when nothing happened. Jay really wasn’t kidding, the relays for the frontier sectors were terrible, sub-FTL garbage. Instead, she bounced off across her own network of bodies, finding a N.A.I.A.D.-4 near the system she wanted, an industrial sector where a friend of hers sold bodies for the more adventurous artificial intelligences of the universe. Back at Ceres, she cracked a smile at her cleverness, and set to browsing the catalogue.
-
Naiad wasn’t used to feeling nervous.
Nervous wasn’t a common emotion for androids, even less so for the multiply-embodied like her. They were typically in control of everything, having brains far faster than most biological species. The only time she could think of feeling nervous before was when she’d forgotten to come up with a name to introduce herself as to Jay, awkwardly dropping “Nadia” on the spot, and fearing that her whole plan would fall apart due to her mistake. No other experience before could really qualify as nervous.
Today just had to work.
She sat on the bed, naked except for some incredibly skimpy lingerie she’d picked up. She knew Jay couldn’t resist frills and lace, her attraction to girly things legendary. She hoped her girlfriend would jump her the second she walked in, not bothering to put anything away, especially not in the bedroom closet.
The sound of the door opening and Jay’s happy gasp at seeing the state of the house was music to Naiad’s ears, proud of the work she’d done to make everything perfect for her. She put on the cutest, girliest expression she could and waited, trying to follow Jay’s progress through the house by the sound of her footsteps. Not that it took very long for Jay to find her of course, coming bursting into the bedroom only a few minutes after she got home.
“Hey gorgeous, I’m-” Jay’s voice caught in her throat at the sight of Naiad on the bed. To her credit, she recovered gracefully, tossing her bag aside with a chuckle. “You miss me that much, beautiful?” she said with an casual smile, the reddening of her cheeks giving away how very not casual she was feeling.
“A little, I guess.” Her eyes dropped to the growing bulge in Jay’s jeans. “Not as much as you did, apparently.”
Jay’s smile broke almost immediately, turning to a needy pout. “Yeah, well... I did.” she finished quietly. She turned towards the closet, starting to take off her flannel.
“H-Hurry up and fuck me?” Naiad blurted out, failing to contain her nerves and coming off far more needy than she intended.
Jay seemed to forget about taking her shirt off completely, turning to face Naiad with a renewed grin on her face. She stepped forward confidently, leaning down over Naiad and taking her face in her hands. “Of course, princess,” she whispered, pulling her into a kiss.
One of the things about Jay that still shocked Naiad every time they touched was just how powerful she really was. More than two decades as a mechanic, from helping out at her parents shop to formal training to running her own place on Ceres station, had sculpted Jay’s body perfectly, every inch solid and strong and gorgeous. She pushed Naiad onto the bed easily, climbing over her and deepening the kiss, reaching down to push her panties down her legs. Naiad giggled at Jay’s attempt at dominance, gently reaching down to caress her bulge and watching her gasp and fall apart at the slight touch. She was so cute when she thought she could top, bravado giving way to needy whining.
A soft push downwards had Jay falling over herself to obey, dipping her head down to kiss Naiad’s thighs. She’d never get tired of the way Jay went down on her, worshipping at her thighs and cunt like she’d never seen anything so incredible. Feeling Jay’s tongue enter her, she rewarded her love, turning up the power coursing through her pussy and giving her a shock. Jay responded with a powerful moan, thrusting her hips against the bed. It was probably about time to give the poor girl what she’d planned for her.
Naiad turned her attention to a different body, stretched her four new arms, and walked out quietly from the closet. Onyx plates, trimmed and filigreed in gold, shone in the light. Her head was mostly featureless, aside from two aerials affixed where ears would be, rounded and (she hoped) cute. The shape resembled the wings of a N.A.I.A.D. Class ship, a touch she thought would be appreciated.
The filigree on her rounded chest plates drew swirly, lacy patterns, several tight concentric rings where nipples would be on a human. All four arms were slightly too big, betraying the fact that she’d had the stock parts replaced with much, much stronger ones in hopes of finally overpowering her girlfriend tonight. Between her legs, more filigree, in the shape of lacy panties, an effect only slightly ruined by the massive psuedo-cock sticking out from her groin. It was smooth and hard, with a jutting ridge for a head, and she’d picked out a few extra features. Behind her swung a thick, solid tail, for balance’s sake.
Putting a hand on Jay’s head to keep her steady, Naiad cooed at her lover. Gently, she reached down with her new body, at first simply groping Jay’s ass through her jeans, then lifting Jay’s legs off the bed with two arms and undoing her belt with the other. Predictably, Jay grunted in surprise, her eyes going wide, looking up the Naiad in front of her, who smiled.
“It’s only me,” Naiad said from behind her. “Relax, Just a new body. Let me take care of you. You’ll see me soon.” She tugged Jay’s pants off, then her underwear, leaving her half naked. She released Jay’s head, letting her new body lift her up, stroking her cock to attention. Lining Jay up with herself, she gave a steady pressure forward, sending Jay falling into Naiad’s pussy. She seized up, seemingly barely holding back an orgasm as Naiad moaned into her ear. Rubbing her new cock against the toned, perfect ass in front of her, she let out a squirt of lube, getting herself nice and slick for her girlfriend.
Jay rocked back as the fake cock prodded at her entrance. As Naiad entered her, she let out more lube, giving Jay plenty to get accustomed to the feeling of being penetrated. Four hands landed on Jay’s hip, two strong and metallic, two soft and gentle, guiding her as she rocked forward and back, stimulating both of her lover’s bodies. Before long Jay hardly needed the assistance, taking to riding her girlfriend’s cock like a pro, the head running past her prostate with each thrust.
“I-I’m... Not gonna last long like this,” she grunted out, bottoming out in Naiad before being pulled back onto Naiad’s cock.
“As long as you don’t stop, I don’t care when you cum,” Naiad whispered back, tilting her android body forward to take one of Jay’s nipples into her mouth, turning the power up more and crying out at the violent buck of her hips that accompanied the shock. With one of the spare hands on her new body, she groped aggressively at Jay’s other breast. She kept teasing, watching Jay grow jerkier and more desperate, hurtling towards her orgasm.
Deciding to speed her along, Naiad’s newer body tilted Jay’s head back, finally letting her take in the full beauty of what she’d done. Jay’s arms shot upwards, grabbing onto Naiad’s aerials and planting a kiss directly in the middle of her face, finally releasing as she did so, filling Naiad’s pussy and squirting cum across their thighs.
Jay fell forward, shuddering violently against Naiad, sandwiched between her girlfriend’s two bodies. Naiad didn’t stop thrusting, leaning down to get a better angle and slowing her pace while Jay recovered. From beneath Jay’s shaking body, She moaned, pulling her love into a deep kiss and squeezing down hard on the overstimulated cock still inside her, not letting Jay soften for a moment.
After a barely a minute, Jay started thrusting again, moaning meaningless gibberish into Naiad’s mouth as she did. Naiad giggled softly, watching her girlfriend desperately fuck her, getting more and more overstimulated by the second. She really was devoted, desperate to follow Naiad’s orders even when she barely could. Rather than let her keep trying, she pulled back with her larger body, tugging Jay off of her and easily spinning her around in her arms, leaving her lying against Naiad’s original body.
Not letting the poor mechanic completely off the hook, Naiad pushed back inside of her, taking her from the front. With her old body she reached around, stroking at Jay’s still twitching cock, groaning at the pleasure coming from her new body. She could feel Jay pulsing in her hand, feel her tightening around her, feel her cum running out of her cunt, it was almost too much for her. There was one last thing to try though, one last thing her poor, sweet girl to last through before she’d be allowed to rest.
With a particularly hard thrust, Naiad drove deep inside of Jay, hilting herself in Jay’s ass. She grinned, feeling the extra feature she’d had put on her new cock spring to life, a spot near the base slowly beginning to swell up. She continued thrusting, all the way to the base each time, letting her growing knot stretch Jay wider and wider, making each thrust harder than the last until soon it filled completely, locking inside of her. Jay’s cock spasmed in her hand, and as Naiad started to thrust again, her knot rubbing inside of her, she came again, pathetically, cum leaking out onto Naiad’s hand with a whimper.
Seeing Jay so utterly broken down for her, so hopelessly overstimulated, was the final straw, pushing Naiad over the edge with her. From behind, she pulled Jay into a kiss, dominating her tongue easily. Her orgasm ripped through both of her bodies, Jay’s cum gushing out of her cunt as she squeezed down on nothing and faux-cum shooting out of her cock, filling Jay up, not losing a drop with the knot still firmly trapped inside of her.
Moving gently, she deflated her knot, using both of her bodies to clean Jay up and tuck her under the sheets. She assumed Jay would be asleep in moments, but instead, she got a final surprise.
“I... Wanna watch you fuck yourself.”
Well, who was she to deny her love. She threw herself down on the bed next to Jay, where she could easily turn sideways to kiss her, and mounted herself, the fake cock sliding easily into her cum-slick pussy. She giggled as Jay started to grope at her, pulling her into a kiss as she started to piston her hips, rocking forward to meet her own thrusts and smiled to herself. Her life really was the best.
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waywardnerd67 · 4 years ago
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TFWB - Chap 15 Most Wonderful Time of the Year
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Summary: Everyone gathers at Jared and Rachel’s house for their annual watching party of Shark Week. Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Rachel Sanderson (OFC), Molli Sanderson (OFC), Reader Pairing: Jared x Rachel (OFC) Warnings: Fluff/AU Word Count: 1131 Squared Filled: Shark Week A/N #1: This is for @spnfluffbingo​ card
Check out: The Family We Built Masterlist
(Y/N) sat at her desk unable to concentrate as the clock ticked away slowly. It was the one week of the year that her and the group looked forward to. The only thing standing in her way was the clock moving slower than molasses. She shook her head looking back down at the manuscript she was trying to get through. After an hour of trying to read, she finally gave up and decided to watch a movie in her living room.
There was a knock on her door and she hurriedly answered, “Hey Jay!”
“Hi pretty girl, ready for tonight?”
“Definitely. Let me grab my bag.” She rushed off to her room giving herself a once over in the mirror quickly.
When she walked back out, Jensen was flipping through a manuscript she left on her kitchen table, “Are you really reading this junk?”
She chuckled, “Sadly yes. Not every manuscript is Stephen King worthy. The truth is most manuscripts are just sub par and will sell very little. Doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be published.”
“Have you ever read a manuscript that blew you away?”
She followed him out of her apartment, “Not recently, but yeah there have been a few that I couldn’t put down. Why, are you thinking about writing a book?”
Jensen scoffed averting his eyes from hers, “Yeah. Right. I don’t have the talent to write a book unless it was about investment deals and savings.”
(Y/N) laughed as they made their way down to his car but there was something in his eyes that clued her in there was more to it than that. He almost looked sad as he spoke about writing a book. She decided to drop the subject for now as they made their way over to Jared and Rachel’s house.
They lived just outside of downtown Austin in a picture perfect two story house. It was even framed with a picket fence with a dog running around in the yard. (Y/N) let out a sigh as they parked behind Misha’s car in the driveway.
“Here I thought I was the only one who was envious of Jared’s perfect little life.”
She looked over to see Jensen longing staring at the house. (Y/N) could not believe he would be envious of anyone else’s life since his was so great to begin with.
She reached over placing her hand on top of his, “I don’t know I think your life is pretty great.”
Jensen smiled, “It is and I’m grateful…”
“But…”
He sighed squeezing her hand, “But it’s missing a lot that would make it perfect.”
He said no more as he let go of her hand getting out of the car. (Y/N) felt her heart drop knowing exactly what he meant. It was no secret that Jensen was single and had not been on a date in a while. His big house was all just for him and she could not imagine how lonely it must be. Even though she desperately desired to be with him, she also wanted nothing but happiness for him.
He tapped on her window, “You coming?” Smiling, she nodded getting out of the car.
Walking inside was like walking into a six year old’s party. Balloons with sharks on them were everywhere along with a dining room table filled with shark themed food and drinks. Jared was wearing a Sharknado shirt with shark slippers.
“He really went all out this year…” she whispered to Jensen who chuckled.
“Grab a drink and some food while I get us all set up.” Jared called out as Rachel came from the kitchen with another platter of shark related food.
(Y/N) walked up to her as Jensen went into their living room where Jared was. Rachel pointed a finger at her as a warning.
“Not a word.”
She held her hands up, “Wasn’t going to say anything. I’m just going to drink some Sea Punch and eat a Seal Fin.”
Rachel threw a gummy shark at her as she laughed her way into the living room. Jared and Jensen were hovering around the flat screen arguing about how to hook it up. She was surprised to see Misha and Molli sitting on the loveseat chatting together like they were old friends. (Y/N) decided to sit in one of the chairs leaving the couch for Rachel and Jared. As the Discovery logo flashed onto the screen everyone began clapping.
“We gather this evening as we have done each year past in celebration of the most wonderful time of the year. This is the week we celebrate one of the most majestic sea creatures in the world. I present to you… Shark Week!”
Jared started the first programming for Shark Week and stretched out on the couch with his head in Rachel’s lap. It was a tradition they started in college to watch Shark Week together, a common interest shared between them all. (Y/N) was surprised when Jensen sat between her legs on the floor slinging her arm over one of her legs. He glanced up, flashing a breathtaking smile before looking back to the TV.
They all gave their own commentary throughout the features. Jared was giving his best play by play when (Y/N) happened to glance over to the loveseat at the perfect moment. Her eyes focused on the entwined hands of Misha and Molli. Her wide (Y/C/E) eyes meet Misha’s deep blue ones. A silent plea begging her not to say anything or draw attention. His body tense as Molli moved closer to him curling up beside him.
Suddenly the painting he did with her made perfect sense. The warm browns for Molli’s hair and the golden amber for her eyes. Just as her painting had reflected the person who made her happiest so did his. (Y/N) gave him a short nod before glancing down to Jensen. His head thrown back laughing as the seal tried to jump onto a boat to get away from the shark. The crinkles around his eyes fanning out as he did.
She looked back to Misha who was smiling at her then gave her a nod back. They were both harboring feelings for people they should not or could not act upon. A small part of her was jealous that Misha was brave enough to be with the one who truly made him happy.
***
She had snuck a picture of Misha and Molli on that very loveseat after the lights came back on. Neither of them knew she had taken it. She wanted to capture the very moment they decided to be something more. Now looking back, she was glad she did for the road they were headed down was a tough one.
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Impossible Happiness
Note: This is a gift fic for @angiezstuff! This is the last of the gift fics so I had to go big or go home, so this one is about 5.5k words! It’s based on the Jaystosuh AU with a little baby Gavin so hopefully you’ll like it.
Small TW bullying, and TW for stuff at the end. Nothing graphic but there is some sorta dark stuff, which is mostly angst and not that bad.
Gift fic 3/3, Jaystosuh.
Summary:  Gavin was known at school as the weird kid. Maybe it was his blue hair, maybe it was because he was really smart for only being six years old. Or maybe it was because he had three caretakers and none of them were female. He didn't know. What he did know was that if his family knew, they would be very upset, and they had enough to deal with without knowing that their little bear cub got hit in class.
Read on Ao3 or keep reading
Gavin was a good kid, by all accounts. Of course, he had a very unorthodox life, but he never minded. He loved his family. Sure, his brother and his brother's boyfriends being his parents was something that most people didn't understand, but that was life for him. They loved him, he loved them, and his life was fun! Hosuh always did his best to make sure he had what he needed, Jay always helped him with his schoolwork, making sure as well that he didn't do anything too dangerous even though he really wanted to, while Stephen was tons of fun. 
He didn't know why he lived with them, but he knew that an older woman came to visit them once a week. He didn't know her name, nor did he know what the reason for her visits were, but he knew she always talked to the 'adults' and never wanted to talk to him. He'd overheard, once, something about an orphanage, and came to a realization. 
If he was a bad kid, the woman would take him away. He didn't want to go away. The other kids at school, the older kids, always called him weird and other names, one even kicked him, but he never hit them back! Hosuh always told him that he should not hit other kids! Stephen and Jay said something about an ash haul, but Gavin didn't understand what they meant.
"Gavin?" Hosuh asked, one morning after the woman left, "Can we talk for a minute?"
"Okay..." Gavin mumbled, staring down at the ground. Had he been bad? He followed the rules, he'd did his schoolwork, he could almost neatly! He could count to a hundred by tens or twenties, do addition and subtraction, he was the best reader in his class, he'd done everything his teachers asked, why did Hosuh look so serious?
Why did Jay and Stephen look so mad? Were they mad at him? Tears came to his eyes, and he began sniffling, face red.
"A-Am I in trouble?" He asked, staring up at his caretakers as he climbed onto one of the big kid chairs, "Did I do bad?"
"What? No, no. Little cub, you didn't do anything wrong." Hosuh said, helping the little six-year-old into the chair before he knocked it over, "We need to talk about school, that's all." 
Gavin always loved it when they called him their little cub. He had a onesie, a bear, which used to be white until a laundry incident happened, thanks to Stephen, and the white onesie turned blue. He was their bluebear. Hosuh was their bunny. Jay was their fox. Stephen was a cat. He really liked when they gave in to his begging and all wore onesies with him. Those were the nights when they built pillow forts in the living room, watched movies, and all fall asleep in one big cuddle pile.
It didn't look like one of those days. Ever since school started again, those days had gotten lesser and lesser, since they all needed to do schoolwork all the time. Gavin liked the weekends, they did their shopping on the weekends, they took him to the park on weekends and he wasn't stuck in their house. Though, running through the woods and playing in the mud, pretending to be a prince slaying a dragon was always fun. He liked the mud too.
"Why about school?" Gavin asked, looking around the table. Jay looked scary, biting his lip and glaring at the table, while Stephen's hands shook in clenched fists on the surface. Hosuh had his normal, soft smile, but Gavin knew the look in his eyes. Sadness. Worry.
"Gavin, do you know Ms. Alice?" Hosuh asked, "The woman who comes to visit us every week?"
"You mean the scary lady who wants to take me away?"
Jay and Stephen's heads snapped up, eyes wide as they stared at the child. What did he just say? Why would she want to take him away?
"Why do you think she wants to take you away?" Hosuh asked then, raising his hand to keep his boyfriends from yelling. Gavin squirmed under their gaze, trying not to cry even more than he already was.
"Sh-She said somethn bout an orphanage. I don't wanna go away..."
"Gavin, you're not gonna be taken away!" Stephen exclaimed, reaching out for his brother's hand. "If someone tried to take you away, they'd have to go through me first."
"Hey, don't forget me!" Jay interrupted, "No way are we giving our cub away." 
"Mhm, but that's not this conversation."
"Con... Conversition?"
"Conversation, Gavin. It means to talk with someone," Stephen said, giving Gavin's hand a little squeeze. 
"Right. Now, Gavin, We have something to ask you. Are the other kids in your class nice?" 
Gavin paused, thinking about the kids in his class. There were a few girls who really liked to make fun of him, ever since parents day last year when he had explained that if Stephen, Hosuh, and Jay took care of him then they were like his dads, though brothers fit better. He was a really bright kid, Mr. Bell always said he should be in the second or third-grade classes, but maybe that made the other kids upset? The other kids liked to tease him, some kids pulled his hair, but he tried not to think about that. There was one kid, a girl who entered the class later in the year named Anne,  she liked to play with him. She had a little unicorn plushie which she carried in her backpack, but only Gavin knew about it.
"Mhm. They're nice." Gavin said, after pondering the question for a few minutes. The other kids were nice, they just weren't nice to him.
"Okay... Do they ever call you names? Or hurt you?" 
"If they do hurt you, you hit back, right?" Stephen interrupted again, obviously worried for his little brother, "Don't let them push you around!"
They hurt. Their words hurt. They really, really hurt. But the kids who hurt him didn't understand, and he was confused; why didn't they like him? Why did they call him a gay? What even was a gay? They liked to make fun of his family, but he didn't understand why. It hurt when they were mean about his family.
He saw how worried everyone was, how upset they were, and he didn't want to make them more upset. He didn't want them mad at him.
"N-No, uhm. No one hurts me." Gavin lied, staring up at his family, "Why?"
The three teenagers sighed. All tension seemed to leave Jay and Stephen's bodies, while Hosuh just smiled. They were always honest with him, and Gavin knew he'd probably be in trouble for his lie if they ever found out, but he didn't want them to hurt because he was hurting.
"Ms. Alice was told by Mr. Bell that you were crying in class yesterday, so she wanted to know if everything was alright here. She was worried about you being bullied because, uh... How do I put this..."
"Because you have three caretakers." Jay said simply, "And we're all guys. "I'm pretty sure you've realized that isn't normal."
Gavin nodded. He'd never questioned before why he had three caretakers, no 'real' dad or a mom, because that was always how it was. For as long as he could remember, it was just the four of them, with the scary lady showing up every once and a while. And Gavin wasn't going to question that now, when everyone was already upset.
"Can I go now?" 
"I dunno, can you?" Stephen asked, smirking as he did. Both of the other teens chuckled softly at the response, the question Stephen always asked whenever Gavin asked if he could do something.
"It's okay, Gavin. You can go play outside. Stephen, go play with him." Jay decided.
"Don't tell me what to do!"
Even though he protested, Stephen walked over and motioned for his brother to follow him. He wouldn't give up spending time with his brother for the world, even though he had lots of things to do. One day, he knew Gavin wouldn't want to spend time with him, and he didn't want to let that be his fault. Gavin grinned and ran out of the kitchen to the front door, being careful to open it so he won't get hit in the face, he'd done that one too many times, before running out into the front yard. He missed Hosuh's yell of 'Put your shoes on!', of course, and headed straight to the back yard. 
There was a sandbox there, and a big pretty wooden ladder with vines creeping up the side of the house which Gavin liked to climb. It went all the way to the roof, and he hadn't managed to break it yet. So the rule, Gavin knew, was that if Gavin was going to play in the backyard, someone needed to watch him. 
So he didn't end up on the roof again.
"Wait up a second, Gavin!" Stephen said, quickly picking up his brother before he could get to the sandbox, "We're putting our shoes on."
"What? Whyyyy?" Gavin whined, looking up at his brother and squirming in his hold. He did not want to be picked up! He wanted to play! 
"There's acorns everywhere, do you wanna get your feet stabbed? Absolutely not!" 
"But Stephen!"
"Nah, nah nah, don't you 'But, Stephen' me!" Stephen insisted, bringing him back inside and setting the six-year-old on the tile floor. "That's Hosuh bun's territory."
"What did you say, Stephen?" Hosuh's voice called from the kitchen, and the scent of him beginning to fry up some beef cubes for shish-kebabs, their dinner, wafted into the doorway. 
"Nothing, Hosuh!"
"He said you say- mff!" Stephen covered Gavin's mouth, chuckling awkwardly to himself. 
"Shush, Gavin, or you're gonna get us all in trouble. Do you want Hosuh to get upset?" He asked, and Gavin shook his head. He absolutely did not want Hosuh to get upset. "Good. That was called sarcasm; I didn't mean what I said."
He pulled his hand off Gavin's mouth, grabbing the child's shoes and handing them to him. 
"Isn't that lying?" Gavin asked, sitting down before taking his socks out of his shoes. "Jay! Stephen's lyin-"
"I am not lying! I'm trying to teach sarcasm here and- Oh my God bro what the fu-"
"Don't finish that sentence, Stephen! Child!" Jay yelled from the stairs. There was another rule, which Gavin didn't understand, in their house. Sometimes, one of them would begin to say something, starting with sh or fu, and suddenly one of the others would shush them. Gavin sometimes wondered what they were going to say, but the act was often enough that he didn't think anything of it.
"We'll talk about this later, Jay!" Stephen groaned, but as he saw that Gavin finished getting his shoes on and was standing up, ready to run out of the door at the first sign of being allowed to, he decided to be lenient and shutting up about the whole manner. Their earlier conversation had probably put Gavin under a lot of stress, so it would be for the best to let him play. At least he wasn't crying anymore, thank God.
But they had seen a few bruises here and there on Gavin without a good explanation. None of them really believed that Gavin wasn't being bullied, though there was a chance that he just didn't understand what they meant when they asked if he was being mean. They were just kids, trying to raise another kid to the best of their ability, and Stephen was grateful that his boyfriends were willing to help him with his brother. He could never repay them for that kindness. 
Sure, there were plenty of adults who were willing to help them; Ms. Alice, in particular, had helped them ever since the incident happened and they had to move in with Jay when Gavin was only two years old. Hosuh moved in two years later.
Stephen smiled as he helped Gavin to build a sandcastle, watching him play in the mud and poke at bugs, even joining in on the fun once his little brother threw a small amount of mud at him. Even as a little melancholy hole opened within his heart. 
_________________
The next morning was a lot less serious. Today, they had a short to-do list before school tomorrow, including grocery shopping and a few supplies for one of Gavin's take-home projects. That meant they had to take the car. Gavin liked when they got to take the car, because he got to look as the world zoomed by. It was like the bus, but more fun!
Jay always drove the car, with Stephen in the front seat, and Hosuh always sat next to Gavin. If they were taking the car, that meant they were also probably going to the toy store.
Whenever the three of them had a little extra spending money, they always let Gavin pick out a toy or an activity. With both Stephen and Jay working part-time jobs after school, on top of Jay's family paying for the house and all those bills, it was at least once a month that they could take such a trip. 
The toy shop was their first stop, it always was, in the case that Gavin couldn't decide what he wanted. That had been the case over the summer, and their ice cream had melted in the car, which was a nightmare to clean up. 
As it was a weekend, the store was moderately busier than usual, with parents being dragged around by their kids. Gavin looked around excitedly, eyes sparkling as he held Hosuh's hand. In public, they all decided it was best for him to stay with Hosuh or Jay, as the chaotic energy the brothers had together was too much for their bank account or sanity to handle. The last time Stephen had watched his brother in one of these stores, it had ended with Gavin climbing one of the shelves and falling from six and a half feet up as Stephen laughed. Not an event any of them were ready to repeat. 
Hosuh looked down at Gavin,  smiling softly at the child. "Okay, Gavin. Pick one toy that you want, but there's a rule this time." As he spoke, Gavin seemed confused, furrowing his eyebrows in curiosity.
"But why?" He asked, his voice verging on a whine.
"Because, bluebear," Jay sighed, patting his head, "You have a nasty habit of throwing your toys. So the rule is simple; if it's soft, you can get it." 
"Hmmm... Okay!" Gavin smiled, "I can go now?"
Hosuh nodded, walking off into the store properly with Gavin. Stephen and Jay stayed back towards the front of the store, with Jay gently taking Stephen's hand in his own.
"You've been awfully quiet. Something wrong?"
"Nah. I'm fine, just tired. You didn't have to study all night for homework."
"Ha! Maybe if you'd done it after getting home from work on Friday, it wouldn't have been so bad. Or you could've asked for help."
"Absolutely not! No way is Stephen asking for help!" The purple-haired teen huffed, walking off towards Hosuh and Gavin who were looking at the stuffed animals. Gavin seemed particularly interested in a giant teddy bear the size of his brother, the perfect size to curl up with next to the couch.  
Stephen laughed, pointing at the bear, "Hey! That's bigger than you are, Gavin! You can't even pick it up."
Gavin pouted, "I can! Watch me!"
"Don't goad him, Stephen." Hosuh sighed, watching as the child attempted to grab the bear only to find himself unable to reach it. By a lot. Considering it was on top of the shelf, not even Jay or Stephen would be able to reach it without issue, and Hosuh realized it was probably designed that way to keep kids from grabbing at it.
"I can't get ittt..." 
"See? I told you!"
"Hosuhbunny?" Gavin turned to the silver-haired teen and the two teenagers choked on air, drawing the attention of a few other customers. That was the nickname that Stephen called Hosuh whenever he was in a very, very cuddly mood, though it was usually shortened to just the animal title. "Help?"
"I'll go get someone to get it down- Uh, Stephen? Don't let Gavin climb on the shelves again."
"I got this Hosuh, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm awesome."
"Riiiiigght." Hosuh rolled his eyes, exiting the aisle and heading off to find an employee. Stephen sighed, looking down at his little brother, then smiled again.
"C'mon, let's go to the play area." He suggested, and Gavin beamed. There was a little play area at the back of the store for kids to play in while their parents walked around the store, so that they didn't bother them while they shopped or in the case that it was a gift. So Stephen walked with his brother to the play area and sat on one of the few benches they had for adults. The urge to grab for his phone was strong, and he was just a person, who soon found themselves staring at the screen. Every once and a while he glanced up at the group of kids to check on his brother.
The first thing Gavin noticed when they got to the play area was that there were quite a few kids from his class there. Not Anne, of course he wasn't that lucky, but instead there were his main bullies. A girl named Vivian his own age and three boys, the eldest of which he had a large bruise on his stomach from. With dread in his heart, he walked up towards them. 
They couldn't hit him, not with the adults watching.
"It's the weirdo," They whispered to the other kids, "He's got three dads! The one with the purple hair is one of them! They're sick!"
"Sick? What? He looks nice..."
"Don't play with him, or you'll get sick too! Then you'll get your mommy sick, and she'll leave!"
Gavin was used to overhearing these kinds of talks. It happened every day in class. He walked over to the toy chest and grabbed a little cat plushie, worn from love and use, then sat down on the carpet. He usually had so much energy, so much want to play, but these kids always stole it from him by their words. 
"Look! The weirdo has a kitty! Save it!" Vivian said, pointing at the cat plush, and Gavin held it close. No way! That plushie was his!
The three boys walked over to him, one of them grabbing at the cat.
"Give it!" 
"No! It's mine!" Gavin huffed, holding onto it tightly, only to yelp as one of the kids gripped his hair and yanked Another took hold of his wrists and twisted, digging their nails in, causing a searingly stinging sensation across his wrists as he clung to the cat. "Ow! You're hurting me! Stephen!!" He didn't want to hurt them. He didn't want them to hurt him. He didn't want to be bad, he wanted to be good and not hurt anyone. 
"Hey! Leave him alone!" He heard his brother say, and Gavin felt them let go. These kids knew better than to hurt him when the adults were looking, and they backed off. "Who the hell taught you that bullying was okay?"
"You're one of the weirdos! The sick ones!" One of the kids exclaimed after realizing who Stephen was. Immediately, they ran off to the other side of the play area, leaving Gavin and Stephen standing there. Gavin had tears streaming down his face, the pain still lingering. He hadn't wanted to be bad, he didn't want to make Stephen upset.
"Woah, Gavin, it's okay," Stephen said, kneeling down and wiping the child's tears. He looked around, seeking any of these children's parents, and saw Jay coming down one of the aisles. "Jay! C'mere!"
Jay was over to them before Gavin knew it, being scooped up into his arms protectively. It helped to stifle his cries, keeping them down so as not to get a noise complaint. 
"Stephen, go look for Hosuh, then get their parents. They should be told." 
Stephen didn't even bother arguing, instead just giving his brother a kiss on the head and walking up towards the front of the store. He'd expected something like this to happen eventually, if they kept coming out to this area. Of course, he enjoyed seeing his brother having fun, but he hated the looks they got whenever they walked around the mall. Because everyone knew the Ng boys.
He found the parents before he found Hosuh. Literally, bumping into them. A small group of the parents had gathered together at the front of the store, making small talk, while their kids were in the play area. He saw Hosuh talking with one of the employees, who he recognized as someone from their class, and walked up to his boyfriend.
"Oh, Stephen! Do you know-"
"The kids in the play are were bullying Gavin," Stephen interrupted, "They were pulling his hair and made him bleed." He watched as the color drained from both of their faces, horror crossing it.
"Is he okay?" Hosuh asked, his voice filled with worry, "I have bandages in the car but I don't- Who?"
"Jay's taking care of him. Talk to the parents for me so I don't end up screaming at them." 
Hosuh nodded, "I got this. Stay with me?" He asked, reaching out to take Stephen's clenched hand in his own. They walked over to the group of parents, and once Hosuh started talking to them, Stephen noticed how they were more focused on him. Once Gavin's name was mentioned, before Hosuh had even brought up the idea of bullying, most of them lost the color in their faces.
Yeah, everyone knew the Ng boys. No, they didn't know them. They knew what happened to them. Stephen would never be able to forget the night which resulted in their current situation, and he was glad that Gavin did not know of the tale from that night. Of course, he'd been too young, barely even a year and a half old. He'd only recently learned to walk before that night.
"Stephen? Stephen?" Hosuh's voice broke through his thoughts, leading him back to the real world. "We need to talk to Gavin."
Stephen only nodded, taking a deep breath to find his voice. He could tell there would be a crash any day now, then he'd be back to normal. All the stress from school, of caring for Gavin, and remembering the sight in the living room- He needed to breathe. Right. 
Gavin was still sniffling, hiding his face in Jay's chest. His wrists were lightly bleeding, likely from where one of the kids had dug their nails in, and an employee was explaining what happened to the kids. He couldn't help but overhear what the parents were telling their children, who were saying that he was a sick weirdo because he had three dads.
"No, sweetie, he has a brother. Their parents are dead. Sure, his brother is weird and maybe sick, but he isn't. You're going to apologize on Monday when you see him in class."
Dead? They were dead? He just had always thought he didn't have any. He had Stephen, Jay, and Hosuh. That was what he needed. He was so confused. 
He felt himself being carried back out to the car, set in his booster seat, buckled in and he heard the car being locked after the others climbed in. 
"Gavin, you said the other kids were nice. Is that... Normal?" Hosuh asked, "For them to be that mean to you?"
With a sniffle, Gavin nodded. "Ye-es..."
"Is it because you have three dads?"
"That's wh-uh-t they say." He felt a soft tissue being pressed against his face, and he quickly blew into the tissue.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Stephen asked, trying not to yell in the car, "We could've done something! We- We could've- We could've helped!"
"Stephe-"
"No, Hosuh, I love you but Stephen's right here." Jay sighed, "We are responsible for Gavin, so we need to make sure this isn't happening. I only have three questions."
"Yeah, and what are those?" 
Jay and Stephen turned in their seats, facing the six-year-old in the backseat. Gavin was fidgeting in his seat, with Hosuh gently holding his hand for comfort and bandaging his wrists. They each had very different ways of raising Gavin, with Stephen usually being the fun one unless it came to his education or when he was under a lot of stress. Jay tended to be very strict, with his fun moments, though those would likely shine through more as Gavin got older. The blonde wasn't exactly known for being good with kids, but he certainly wasn't bad at it. Hosuh was gentle, soft and sweet and loving. He could be strict if he needed to, especially when someone messed with the few rules he had in place or when people were being lazy, but he loved to just spend time with them. 
He was probably trying to make up for what he lacked when it came to his own upbringing, Stephen realized. 
"One. Gavin, how long have these kids been picking on you?" Jay asked, his voice deceptively calm as it held the rage underneath. 
Gavin reached up and wiped away his tears, sniffling softly. "Since last year... Parents day."
Right. Parents day. Stephen, as Gavin's legal guardian, had gotten an exemption on going to school that day to instead attend Gavin's, where he'd needed to explain that he wasn't raising Gavin alone. That his boyfriends were helping. It was their fault Gavin was being bullied.
"Right. Next, why didn't you tell us yesterday?"
"They're nice... But not nice to me. I didn't wanna worry you all about me. You're all so busy, 'nd I-" 
"Alright. And finally, Gavin, you know we're never too busy for you, and that you can tell us anything, right? It doesn't matter if you're hurting, if you're scared, or if you did something really bad. We'll get through it together. If you're sad, then we'll smile until you can again."
"I know, Jay. I'm sorry. I love you all." 
"We love you too, little cub." The three teens said in unison, Jay and Stephen sitting properly as Jay started the car. Grocery shopping went by fast, faster than it ever had before, and before they knew it they were safely home. 
Sure, their living situation was a little odd, but it worked for them. They all had different ways of getting to this point in their lives, with Jay's only technically being voluntary, and they wouldn't change it for the world.
________
Someone was in their house. His mother handed him his baby brother, pushing him into the closet. "Stay here, Stephen. If I don't come to get you in ten minutes, please, run. Take your brother and take him away from here, take care of him." 
"What? Mom, I don't understand," Stephen said, looking sleepily up at his mother. Gavin was asleep, his yellow pajamas a little messy as he clung to his brother, "What's wrong?"
"Just listen for once in your life, and stay quiet. I love you." The doors closed. He could see through the slits in the wood, he could see his mom carefully exit the bedroom. From down the hall, he heard gunshots. No one was supposed to have such easy access to guns, not that he knew, and he heard yelling. Clinging to his brother, he counted out the minutes in their closet, taking deep breaths to keep from waking up the infant in his arms. If his mom didn't come to get him, where would he go?
He could go to Jay's. Jay lived mostly alone, with his rich adoptive family being off across the country for the majority of the year. He had a few rules, including that their neighbor would check in on him at least once a day until he started high school, that he was never to get below an A in any class, and once he got into high school he would need to pay for his own food. He would also need to pay for his own college, but they would help if he actually needed it.
But Jay wasn't good with kids. Hosuh was. 
Three minutes left.
He heard his mother scream, a foreign voice demanding something. Stephen covered his little brother's ears as carefully as he could, adrenaline running through his veins. 
Someone was going up the stairs. He could hear the telltale creak of the third step, the shuddering moan of old wood of the top hall. Stephen knew he needed to move. He needed to move and he needed to move now. He opened the closet as carefully as he could, tiptoeing out, grabbing his cell phone from the nightstand before continuing out of his carpeted room as he heard his heart beating in his ears. He caught a brief glance of the living room doorway, a pool of red seeping out towards the hall. His entire body jolted as he remembered his mother's words. Run. Take care of Gavin. 
He ran off towards the back door, which was unlocked from the inside, and he carefully opened it. There was ringing in his ears, he didn't stop running even as the acorns pressed onto his feet, fumbling to stay balanced. He could hear the police sirens, but he couldn't think, he could only move and hold Gavin. The loud noises had awoken him, and he was crying loudly as Stephen attempted to dial Hosuh's number. It was only nine, he should still be awake, why won't he pick up-!
"Stephen? It's so late, what's wrong?" Hosuh's tired voice came over the phone.
"Hosuh? Thank fuck! Meet me at Jay's house, no time to explain, I promise- Please!"
"I'll be there. Do you need me to stay on the line?" 
"No, just go!"
Hosuh hung up the phone without a second question. He'd likely heard the panic in his voice, heard Gavin's unstoppable crying and decided it best not to argue. He lived closer to Jay's house than Stephen did, anyway. 
Stephen didn't stop running until he got to Jay's house, his friends meeting him at the door with a shocked expression. He quickly handed the crying Gavin to Hosuh, who seemed quite perplexed as to why he was holding his best friend's little brother.
"Watch him, calm him down." He said before running into the living room and fumbling to turn on the television.
"What're you doing, Stephen? What happened?" Jay asked,  walking into the living room behind his friend only for the television to ring out over the local news.
"I'm standing here at the house of Mr. and Mrs. Ng, who have been dead in their house."
Stephen jolted awake with a shock, tears streaming down his face. He hadn't dreamed of that night in at least a year, since the last big crash of stress and anxiety. His shoulders shook with silent sobs, and he felt the gentle hands of his boyfriends holding him. Hosuh was in front of him, wiping away the tears and holding his hand, whispering soft words of comfort to him. It always left Stephen in awe afterward, how someone who'd been disowned by his own family had so much will to stay calm and not get upset at him. 
"It's okay, Stephen, you're here. You're safe. We've got you. Gavin's okay. It's all gonna be okay," He whispered as Jay wrapped his arms around Stephen and kissed his cheek, then his forehead, humming a soft song. He knew how much they enjoyed listening to him singing, be it a small hum or a full ballad, they loved the sound of his voice. 
Stephen wasn't able to form words through his sobs, holding onto the sheets even as he felt something was missing from his arms, but their actions helped diminish the loss of sleep before it became too much. They did have school in the morning, after all. By the time he was calm, nearing twelve-thirty in the morning, the three of them were ready to fall into sleep's sweet embrace once again. 
The door creaked open then, and Stephen's nerves filled him with a short burst of adrenaline. Quickly he turned to the doorway, seeing a small figure scuttling into the room. 
"I- Uh... I had a nightmare. Can I stay with you three?" Gavin asked, sleep slurring his words, though the tear marks on his cheeks proved his words true. 
"Sure, buddy. C'mon, you can be in between Stephen and I," Jay said, motioning for Gavin to climb up onto the bed as he let go of Stephen so he could turn over. Hosuh instead wrapped his arms around his waist, nuzzling against his neck as the child climbed into their bed. Stephen quickly pulled his baby brother into a hug, the feeling of being lost fading away. This was his family, the four of them together. 
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91whiskeygirl · 5 years ago
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It’s 430pm, the air thick since it just rained. The sky cloudy and full of moisture. He took out his luggage from the trunk and walked over the driveway with a crooked grin on his face, his snug black shirt and jeans hugging his most firm features. Checking the time on his watch while he waited for you to be surprised at the knock on your door, how early he arrived back home unexpectedly. Jensen flew twelve hours straight just to get home to you; you’d thought he’d spend the weekend celebrating with the crew; which you didn’t mind since you still had to clean yourself up, but once you landed eyes on the tall figure behind the glass door while you walked through the foyer, you shouldn’t be surprised, after all, you’re his girl. He reminded you of that countless times.
The SPN hiatus finally begun, and you were so excited to have your boyfriend back for some well long awaited quality time.
“Jay!”, you squealed, quickly hugging him like a five year old girl that just got her first prize at the carnival.
“Hey baby girl”, he towered over you with that smirk of his, putting his luggage inside and grabbing you by the waist, your feet barely touching the floor now. Gosh he knew how to take your breath away every single time.
“Why didn’t you stay the weekend? We’re you that desperate to see me in my pizza pajama pants?”, looking up into his candy apple eyes. “Of course sweetheart, those pjs make your ass look just as juicy as it is without them”, his intense stare made you lose your train of thought for a retort as he snaked his hands around your bottom, lifting you up to where you could feel how hard he already was for you. You couldn’t help but smile ear to ear, feeling wanted wasn’t what you were used to, but with Jensen it was a perfect response.
Laying your hands on the sides of his neck you kissed his jawline and took his hand, leading him to the kitchen. You grab a couple of beers for you both. “I haven’t even had time to make dinner, I didn’t know I would have company”. He popped the cap with his keys and sat down on one of the chairs, leaning his elbows on the island while looking at you with those pretty boy lashes of his. He replied, “it’s no big deal, we can always order in.”.
A bit more of slow kisses on his lips you hopped on to his lap and hugged him tight, your chin on his shoulder. Gosh, how could you miss his scent so much? You engulfed your nose of his presence and didn’t want to let go of him, fearing he was just an illusion. You hadn’t slept well for a couple of weeks. Your job had you at overtime for a wedding gig, and because of the Thanksgiving holiday, you were booked three weeks straight. You didn’t celebrate thanksgiving, but you didn’t mind spending it with someone who loved food as much as you do. Of course, you didn’t want to admit it as much, you weren’t like most women like what “Dean” went for. but he didn’t care that you were the total opposite. You were a curvy woman, your y/h/c hair just passing your shoulders, but not tame able enough to style it how you wanted it all the time, your belly just about hugging your waist, your constant battle to finding a great pair of jeans felt inevitable. You weren’t the perfect vision in your own eyes. But when Jensen walked into your life you started to not mind your size as much. He appreciated every curve and dimple, every flaw you saw in yourself was perfection to him. “How the hell did I catch this handsome guy in my life when I look like this?” Was always your daily mantra until things got serious between you two a few months back. Now he called your home his, he even had his own closet.
You took all your strength to move away from him answering back, “How about we do some pre - feasting? We can order some fried chicken, wedges, couple of pies for dessert,and why the hell not; maybe even a salad just because I’m feeling healthy today.” Thanksgiving was never your favorite holiday, your family ruined it for everyone even though they’d host the party. You felt no better when they’d make remarks at your for how you look, going for your passion instead of being a nurse, and never settling down with whoever they approved. You moving out at 19 and taking a risk to fly to Canada randomly was a blessing in disguise. You worked your ass off with internships, most unpaid, surviving on coffee, ramen, and sriracha packets. The fact that you jumped on applying for a job while SPN was filming in the area, you never thought you’d end up with a hunk like Jensen falling for you. You giggled as he gripped your hips tighter, his chin lifting up and looking into your y/e/c eyes. “I love it when you talk pie to me”. You rolled your eyes thinking “Shut up Dean”.
He scoffed a laugh and put you down gently and headed to your bedroom, plopped his luggage down next to the foot of the bed and made his way to the bathroom. He took off his shirt and instantly grimaced at how gross he felt thanks to the long flights he just made. One of his favorite places in the house was definitely the shower. He helped you out a bit since you hated the original structure of the bathroom. “I’m too fat to fit in a tub meant for a water goddess”, was what you told him, saying it lightly enough to be taken as a joke, but he knew your insecurities in and out. So he offered to get his contractor in and upgrade it. The floor was a soft rose gold marble, walls matching, a tub the size so wide and deep you could actually cover your whole body and and an extra person, gold trim accenting everywhere. A bit feminine but not enough for him to not use this masterpiece of a bathroom.
A separate shower next to it so big he caught you a few times dancing in it while you showered after coming home from work, de stressing the day away with his new album playing on your blue tooth speaker. You were so proud of him when it finally released. He’d caught you one too many times humming “All Our Own” in the house. You always sang off key but he loved hearing you no matter what. It was one of the things that showed your were content and happy.
He thought back to when you couldn’t even take a compliment on your outfit. You had just gotten the AKF hoodie in the mail and drank some coffee on set while waiting for Jared on his way to get a touch up on his hair and makeup. “Hey, loving the jacket on you y/n, you’re looking beautiful”, Jensen complimented her, keeping his stare on your face, struggling not to look anywhere else he wanted so badly to. You were just his makeup artist then. “Oh- uh thanks Jay, I’m just glad it fits...you know the sizes never seem to be a perfect fit whenever it comes to me. I actually bought a couple more in case but luckily I have friends that are way smaller than me, so I gave the ones I didn’t fit to them.” You looked down into your cup of caramel coffee, trying to avert your eyes from him. His eye contact always made your heart race, no matter what came out of his mouth. “Well,” he slowly walked inching closer to you “you’re perfect to me.” Shooting you that movie star smile he gave to fans. And that’s what did you in. A gorgeous man just told you that you were perfect without a snark comment or a snicker after finishing that sentence. THE Jensen Ackles just complimented on your appearance, and you felt the wave of confidence, standing a little straighter and fluffing your hair to the side while you drank your coffee and having your eyes twinkle up at him. Next thing you both knew, you were on your first date, and then your first make out session in the park You, Gen, and Jared used to jog in the mornings before starting work, and then everything built up to him moving in to your home.
Steam started to build up in the shower as Jensen put his head underneath the shower nozzle. Rubbing the hair product out of his hair made him feel a little less grimy. He wished you stayed with SPN before the last season finished, your expertise with lightweight products were a god send to the boys; but you got tired of the traveling back and forth with airports and cabs, sleeping in hotel rooms, you wanted to stay close to home. You started your own side business free - lancing again like the old times, but now with a reputation you were busy with every occasion you could think of. Hair and makeup gigs never came to you so fast when you landed back home.
“Dinner just got here!” You yelled from the hallway. “I’m just about done” he retorted back, washing away the last remnants of what traveling he just did. He didn’t notice you leaning on the doorway admiring him toweling off until he turned towards your way and you got a full view of him as he wrapped his towel around his waist. Your throat got dry enough where you subconsciously had a soft moan escape from you, and he noticed, smiling. Were you in trouble now.
Walking over to you with his semi wet hedgehog hair and steam coming off his shoulders from his shower, he closed any space between you two.
“I think the dinner can wait sweetheart”, he said, his hand at the back of your head and leaning down to grab a kiss from you. “Breath y/n, for fucks sake this isn’t the first time you both got heated.” Your thought ran through your brain. You hadn’t realized you closed your eyes until he released his lips from yours. You were dumb founded. It was like you were in a trance. He was so god like in every form, and you were a bumble of a mess every time he even so much as grazed you with his fingertips.
He led you to the bedroom and he threw his towel off into the laundry basket. “I want dessert first,” he already was helping you take off your shirt, your breasts hovering then dropping like heavy gum drops. You made your way to get your bottoms discarded and thrown wherever, you didn’t give a fuck, you were focused on Jensen too much to care. You sucked in your stomach like always like it was first instinct, and he noticed. You started to get tense until he started kissing you hard, his tongue teasing your bottom lip to invite him in. His arms around your back making its way down to your hips, he gently pushed you on to the bed, your back lying on all the silky pillows you had, just because it looked nice aesthetically. You always ended up only sleeping with one particular one to support your neck and back.
He starts to kiss your shoulders, then nipping his way down to your breasts. His mouth devours one side, licking and sucking, making your hips lift because of the slight pain and absolute pleasure. “Jeez Jensen I don’t know why you always go for the boobs first” you tease. “You knew from the start I was a boob guys, one of the many reasons I asked you out.”, teasing back. You bit your lips and tugged the back of his head full of hair in your hand when he started to pull your nipple gently with his teeth. Your breathing started to stutter, his hands caressing your back, your hips, your thighs. He opened up your legs and cradled your ass cheeks. His elbows supporting his position of what he was about to do next.
“Perfect as always baby,” he told you, kissing the insides of your thighs, going lower with each kiss. You gave up feeling like he would hate seeing you naked after the first few times you both messed around in the beginning of the relationship. He told you to stare at him while he devoured your pussy and for the first few times you hesitated ,but did as you were told. You locked eyes with him, but you eventually would lay back down. You were so scared of the angle of what he’d see. Instead of a flat tummy there was a mountain of a roll in the way if you ever lifted up, and your chin wasn’t your friend either. But tonight was different. He didn’t even ask and you saw his eyes locked on you while he licked you gently, then a bit harder,knowing building you up to the amazing orgasm you always have with him.
Your hips started to writhe when he started to suck your bud, and lick up whatever wetness you had, the warmth in your core creating a wave of pleasure soon. You could feel his stubble burning on your inner thighs, accepting the sensation it gave you. He moaned into you when you reached to hold his hands. How you imagined having your pussy eaten out never came to until Jensen introduced it to you, and he never skipped it when things got hot in the bedroom. He always paid attention to you first even though you were persistent at times that you wanted his cock in your mouth first. Your breathing became more shallow and erratic, the coil in you about to break, Jensen licked a bit faster but not harder, he knew it was never in the interest of a woman when you just rushed the process of her dam breaking. Your back started to arch and he dove in deeper, putting two of his fingers in you and curling it right on t your spot. You closed your eyes and placed your hands on your mouth. You realized your windows were open even though the curtains were closed, your bedroom windows faced the neighbors where your pool also was, and you didn’t need sneering looks from them in the morning when you got the newspaper. “Cum all over my mouth baby, I want to taste all of you” he said, gripping your hips now, he felt your pussy clench, dripping with wetness all over his lips and stubble. He pumped you a few more times then eagerly got above you, his cock already pleading at your tender entrance.
“Please Jay, I want you to fill me up baby”, you shined under him, your high slowly dissipating. He inches into you and you gasped at every inch he got deeper. Your body leaned into the mattress even more when he was fully seated in you. “Fuck Jensen! “ you screamed, too late for avoiding sneering looks I guess. “You’re so beautiful under me y/n, taking all of my cock inside of you, I missed you so much, I missed all of you. “ he leaned down making a mark on your left breast and then grabbing the right one with his left hand. If you thought you couldn’t cross your eyes, you probably just did. Your coil started to tighten again, and he wasn’t even thrusting in you repeatedly yet. He saw how desperate you were becoming. “You ready for me sweetheart?” He asked you softly. “Always.” Was the only thing you could answer back. With that he thrusted in one go into you, and you could feel him reaching at your g spot again. How the hell can he feel this good every time? You were baffled, every time.
“I can never get tired of this pussy y/n, you’re always so tight and warm for me. “ he grunted through. His neck and shoulders tensing, his biceps bulging when he grabs your thighs to pull them apart wider, going deeper. Your short of breath now and can only reply with whimpers, you want to let go so bad and cum on him. Feel him while you wrap tightly around him. “Jay I’m so fucking close, please!” You beg, your eyes closing tightly shut, trying to control your orgasm until Jensen is ready.
A few more thrusts and Jensen is starting to ride you unevenly, you thank the heavens he’s about done, I’m sure he’s hungry, but you’re starving, for him to fill you up to the rim and also for that fried chicken dinner waiting downstairs. He lifts your leg over his shoulder and kisses it tenderly, his hand moving from your calf to your knee, and ending up caressing your thigh, and then grabbing your ass to pull you in as he starts to fuck the lights out of you. You cry with pleasure, the coil bursting and you clench his cock, he’s not slowing down at all. “I’m gonna finish baby, you want me to cum in you? Fill you the fuck up? Have you leaking me out of you?” Gosh he knows you love dominant dirty talk. You smile wickedly and grab his hips. For a curvy woman you have the flexibility of a cheerleader. “Fill me the fuck up baby” you tell him confidently, staring into his eyes as he comes undone. He grabs the leg on his shoulder tightly, thrusting shallow as his high is coming down, and he makes his way sitting up after kissing you a bit more before pulling himself out.
“Fuck I missed you y/n”, he softly said while you were both cleaning up after the blissful session. “I missed you too Jay, you make me feel so loved and safe, you don’t expect anything less of me”. He cups your face with his hands and you gently kiss one of his wrists “Baby, You’re perfect.”. With that you smiled and kissed him deeply, his plush lips hugging yours perfectly. You took his hands and looked up at your lover. With that sparkle in your eye, you say “I love you.”
He never thought you’d say that to him. He never expected you to say it, he didn’t need it. The corners of his eyes crinkled from his smile; “I love you, y/n.” There’s butterflies in his stomach, and then, a loud gurgle of a growl came from his and yours stomach. He thought you’d be embarrassed enough to forget what awesome thing just happened between you two an hour ago and run to hide somewhere in the bathroom. Instead, you laughed loudly and snorted a bit too, his concerned face softened and he took your favorite shirt you stole from him on one of your sleepovers at his place, and dressed you. He placed a kiss on your hand , “come on , we’re both hungry after that session” you beamed a smile at him and giggled on your way out to the hallway, he smacks your ass a couple times and you jump and squeal before running to the kitchen, him running after you.
After dinner you still had room for actual dessert, the pumpkin pie and vanilla ice cream with dark chocolate shavings on top really hit the spot. You both are cuddled up on the sofa watching the fireplace crackle and warming your bodies up again. You relish the moment, Jensen’s chest going up and down slowly, knowing he fell asleep right after dessert. You turn and angle yourself where you can lie down more and place your head near his belly and on his lap, he automatically adjusts and starts playing with your hair. He rubs his eyes and sees you staring at him intently, a small grin on your face. “Whatcha smiling about now y/n?” He keeps playing with your hair. “Nothing, just that tonight was perfect, thank you for surprising me.” He replies with a kiss on your forehead as you both fall asleep from the pre -feast coma you both just gave yourselves.
**Happy Thanksgiving everyone!**
It’s a bit random but I wanted something to post for the holiday, I’m gonna try my best to do one shots for the Xmas holiday:) hope y’all enjoyed!
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bobbystompy · 5 years ago
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68 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2019
Below are my favorite quotes from 2019. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.
1) “I don’t bitch about Millenials.
John Entwistle once complained that he didn’t understand rap. Pete Townsend said, ‘It’s not our job to understand it. It’s our job to get the fuck out of the way.’
New generations come of age. The older generation’s job is to shut up and adapt.” - @danagould
2) “I can’t do drugs with you until we kiss.”
3) “If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.” - @DanaSchwartzzz
4) “A human being is a dangerous thing to let loose in a room with itself, when it cannot think.” - Roger Ebert
5) “There are no bad bourbons, only better bourbons.” - Dave Hernandez
6) “You can’t put a dollar in a kimono.”
7) “This is how it was.” - rampant takeaway from watching ‘Superbad’ several years after its release
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8) “What if I had been born fifty years before you in a house on the street where you lived / Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike / Would I know? / And in a wide sea of eyes, I see one pair that I recognize” - Ben Folds, ‘The Luckiest’
9) “Learn the rules so you can break them.”
10) “Nobody makes chili for two.” - Stacy Massey
11) “‘Best city in the world,’ I mutter to myself, as i adjust my ‘driving blanket’.” - Chicago resident Deanna Belos, during the 2019 Polar Vortex
12) “Dude, no one’s ever got arrested for listening to Counting Crows.” - Ricky O’Donnell, justifying late night music volume at his party
13) Bill Belichick: We’re going to have fun tonight. Rob Gronkowski: Yes we are. We deserve it. Belichick: You’re damn right. Gronk: I haven’t stepped out in like eight months. I gotta step out tonight. Belichick: I’m with you, man. I’m even going to step out. Gronk: Oh, I like it!
A Super Bowl winning exchange.
14) Center David Andrews thanked Bill Belichick for giving him "a shot".
Belichick disagreed with it.
Andrews: Thank you for giving me a shot. Belichick: A shot? I didn't give you shit. You earned it! I don't give anything.
Another Super Bowl winning exchange.
15) “We elected one of the very worst living human beings to be President, and it's exhausting. Each and every day, it's an exhausting slog, just to exist in a world where that's true.” - Michael Schur
16) “Some of y’all always picked Odd Job when you played Goldeneye and it shows” - @thedad
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17) “Any app is a dating app if you try hard enough.” - Z.W. Martin (though he says it’s lifted)
18) "Once you're as woke as I am, you learn to feel bad all the time.”
19) “Everything’s a balance beam when you’re 90.” - John Dingell
20) [I wake up in a world where The Beatles never existed]
Me: Check out this song I just wrote
[I begin playing “Ob La Di Ob La Da” without having first built up years of goodwill]
Crowd of people: Wow, this sucks ass
-- @seanoneal
21) “People change people.” - Corey Matthews, Girl Meets World
22) “The easiest thing to do on earth is not write.” - William Goldman
23) “Dan could be like a difficult uncle. I didn’t love his fire-breathing conservative politics. I didn’t love the transformation that came over his novels. In Semi-Tough, he created two benighted Texas jocks and laid their prejudices bare. He was declaring himself a member of the Mark Twain coaching tree. In later books, Dan seemed to be trying to prove he could still tell a racist joke. He insisted that his memoir—the last truly immaculate piece of writing he delivered—include a tirade against political correctness. When his editor said people might be offended, Dan said, ‘Fuck people.’
There are certain writers whose style you pilfer. Certain writers whose moral fiber you try to inherit. For me, Dan represented a third category: a writer whose aura you replicate—or, failing that, try to stand in for a while.” - Bryan Curtis, on Dan Jenkins
24) “Never marry anything. Never choose. Even in love, it's better to be chosen.” - La Dolce Vita
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25) “An uncluttered, uncomplicated happy ending might sound wonderful, but it’s hardly ever satisfying. Because the value of great stories lies in the tension between desire and need, between the yearning for the ideal, and the unshakable conviction that ideals don’t really exist, at least not the way we want them to. A great story should hurt a little when it leaves us. There should be some hope, but that hope should remain somewhere just an inch beyond our fingers, because that’s the truth. Even if you had all the perfect moments in the world, you’d still be reaching.” - Zach Handlen, on the Futurama series finale
26) “You can’t see him because he has sunglasses on.” - Alissa Levy
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27) “The cinema is the greatest art form ever conceived for generating emotions in its audience. That's what it does best. (If you argue instead for dance or music, drama or painting, I will reply that the cinema incorporates all of these arts).” - Roger Ebert
28) “‘Are you gonna let politics ruin a friendship?’ 
Yes tf I am
People talk about politics as if it’s this isolated, abstract concept that only matters at election time. Somebody’s politics is their world view. It’s whether they think certain human beings deserve rights. It’s how they think the world should be. And if somebody thinks that the world should be colder, meaner, less accepting and downright hostile to people that are different to them, then sure as fuck is the friendship over.”
29) “Can the Supreme Court get me mushrooms?” - J-Papp
30) “Any song under two minutes already has a head start on its way into my heart. Just scream at me and then leave me.” - Drew Magary
31) “Long neck cold beers never broke my heart.” - Clemson Tom
32) “I’d just like to point out that the last spoken words of Game of Thrones were: 
‘I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel.’”
- @Authoroux
33) “Just once before I die, I want to toss my keys to someone and tell them ‘Bring the car around’.” - Mike Skully
34) “For all the weight they're given, last words are usually as significant as first words.” - Grand Maester Pycelle, Game of Thrones
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35) “The best remedy for unrequited love is a trip around the world.” - Cheers
36) [on switching from a hotel to a motel]
Manny: I don't like the sound of that. A lot of amenities disappear when an H turns into an M. Jay: Hey when I met you, you were eating cereal out of a bucket.
-- Modern Family
37) “You and Lindsey don’t want to be ‘estranged’. Estranged is the relationship we want to have with our mothers.” - MegFil
38) “Cigarettes are undefeated.”
39) “My toes are like my fingers on my feet. I can pick stuff up with them.” - Tracy Cunningham
40) “Republicans govern without shame, Democrats shame without governing.” - Bill Maher
41) Sam: I don’t understand the vagaries of the Internet Josiah: Post often, without thought, and you’ll either get cancelled or cancel someone else.
-- Blink-155
42) “Hang a lantern on your problems.”
43) “What a weird web we weave.” - The Situation, The Jersey Shore: Family Vacation
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44) “Let the ocean worry about being blue.” - Alabama Shakes, ‘Hang Loose’
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45) “Honesty without tact is cruelty.” - Shelley Rokos
46) “My whole life is the wrong porn link.”
47) “One parent can take care of 10 kids, but 10 kids cannot take care of one parent.” - Joe Gestetner, via “an old Yiddish saying”
48) “There are no heroes in the room.” - Classics of Love, ‘Gun Show’
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49) “If I am a little dismissive, it's only because of my harrowing backstory.” - Mitchell, Modern Family (on why he doesn't like sports)
50) “Every time I’m wearing black, I meet a dog.” - Tracy Cunningham
51) “Shower sex? Why would I fuck in my crying chamber” - @chridollarsign
52) “My theory about quarterbacks, having written about some of them, is you either have to believe in god or think you are a god.” - Mina Kimes
53) “The contradictions of capitalism always manifest in our lyrics if you look deeply.” - Blake Schwarzenbach of Jawbreaker, Riot Fest 2019
54) “Got a ‘hang loose’ from the weakside bartender.”
55) “It’s Jennifer’s birthday always.” - Eric Hutchinson 
56) “I can’t think of a less relevant artist in 2019 than Kanye West. A Jesus freak in a MAGA hat. Yeah, congrats dude -- you’re every grandma who watches ‘Young Sheldon’ and mails checks to Joel Osteen now.” - Dan Ozzi
57) “The past and future are in the mind. I’m in the now.” - Tom Brady, via someone else
58) “Sometimes you walk around boring places and you feel like the most exciting thing in it.” - Drew Magary
59) “Sitting is the new smoking.” - Modern Family
60) “I'll straight up fight folks at a book club and discuss books at a fight club I really don't give a shit anymore.” - George Wallace
61) “Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - Rose Garvey via wine country
62) “It’s all ‘ok boomer’ until you need someone who can drive stick shift.” - @OrdinaryAlso
63) “He likes the result of the math.” - Dad, talking about my worst subject frustrating during the process but satisfying in the end
64) Stepmom: Do you want a Bears urn or Alabama urn? Dad: Ask me after they play Auburn.
65) “A cold body carries a warm heart.” - Stefanos Tsitsipas’ Instagram, after his Iceland sabbatical
66) [preparing a dish called the Sandwich of Justice with his friend’s recipe]
"The fun thing about it is when you give it to someone, you can say 'Justice is served.’ That's, uh, Ryan's line. I built my whole life on the backs of my friends." - You Suck At Cooking
67) “Usually three people can keep a secret only when two of them are dead.” - The Irishman
68) “An artist can't control who consumes their content any more than a chemist can control how their chemicals are used once they're created.” - Brian Crooks
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wildwesternwoman · 6 years ago
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To the Blue Jay (RDR2 Epilogue)
I have requests in my inbox and a five-page paper to write for class, but I had inspiration for this and couldn’t not write it. Please be warned, this is set during the epilogue so there are MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD for the main story. 
Also, its somewhat Arthur Morgan x Reader, so a lot of angst. Enjoy! 
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You never remembered it being this hot in Blackwater. The sun beat down hard on the top of your head as you rode up the main street of the town. Damn, how long had it been since you’d been here? At least seven, eight years. You tried not to think of everything that had happened since then, the sadness, the anger, the grief at the hand life had dealt you. So, instead, you distracted yourself with thoughts of the pretty necklace you left at the camp you and the gang had to flee. Reckon it was still there? 
You laughed at the thought. There. That’s what you needed to remember. The good times, the silly times. Sean’s drunken shenanigans, Arthur’s gruff kindness, Hosea’s wise guidance. The things you loved so about the family you once had. Not to mention, the freedom you’d experienced the past few years. Things hadn’t necessarily been bad, you’d stayed on your feet after everything that happened at Beaver Hollow. You’d done some small robberies before finally making it to civilization – if you could call Tumbleweed civilization. It was still somewhere where nobody knew your name. After that, you settled down. Took on honest work. You’d worked on a ranch, at a saloon, hell, even in a bank. You found yourself chuckling every day at the irony of that. But you just weren’t happy out west. You’d heard talk of one Jim Milton hanging around Strawberry and Blackwater and couldn’t help but wonder if it happened to be another man you once knew with those same initials. God, how you missed the old gang. Especially Arthur. Your relationship with the cowboy was somewhat up to interpretation. Were you in love? You never quite figured that out, but you certainly did love him. You thought he was one of the greatest people you ever met, you still thought that. And your heart ached when you thought about him, so you just didn’t. Seven years, you did everything in your to not think of him. And damn was that hard. So, now you rode down the main street of Blackwater, the last place you’d been with him when things had really been ok. The last place you’d been together before things went off the rails. And you were hoping, praying, to find the biggest reminder of him to date. John. Tall and strong, older and scarred, but still handsome as always. Coming out of the lumber yard. There he was. And everything you’d been trying to ignore, trying to not feel for seven years came flooding back to you. The sadness, the anger, the grief, the betrayal. “Jim Milton!” You called as your rode toward him. He turned dead in his tracks, giving you a deathly glare before realization spread across his face. “Y/N! Y/N Y/L/N! Is that really you?” You hopped off your horse, pulling him into a hug. “In the flesh. I hoped I might find you here.” “It’s been a long time.” “It sure has.” You smiled at him, the scared, but hopeful young rebel. “Hey, you ain’t gonna believe who else I seen lately. Sadie Adler.” Your mind flashed back to the last time you’d seen Sadie. A few days after Beaver Hollow, after Arthur, as you all tried to figure out what to do, where to go, how to be safe. She set off on her own, and you did, too. But her strength in all that she’d faced in life gave you strength, as well. “And Uncle,” John’s voice interrupted your thoughts. “And Charles Smith, too. They’re both out at my house. Well, what will be my house, it’s just my land right now. Ain’t much to it, yet.” “Well, look at you. Little Johnny Marston all settled down. How’s Abigail and Jack?” John flinched at your words, and for a moment you feared the worst. “They ain’t around right now. They’re waiting for me to get this house built and this ranch working. Then they’re gonna join me out here.” He looked at you, a look you swore you’d seen a thousand times in the many many years you’d known him. A hopeful, familiar look. “Would you wanna come out? See the land? You can stay with the rest of us. Kinda be like havin’ the old gang back together.” Except Arthur. Your heart wretched, but you only smiled. “I’d love to, John.” So, you rejoined your old friends out at Beecher’s Hope. Laughing, and drinking, and fighting with the Skinner’s, chasing bounties with John and Sadie. It sure did feel like the old days, at least until you’d arrive back at the camp and it just wasn’t. No Javier on guitar, no Swanson drunkenly preaching, no Arthur. Just his strong, reassuring presence. It just wasn’t right. The day finally came when it was time to start working on John’s house. The plans and material and tools all there in front of you, and you were ready and willing to help, as always. So, apparently, was a little blue jay that seemed to watch over you all the time. As you laid the foundation, it sat on joists, supervising. When John accidently slammed the hammer down on his finger while laying the floor, it chirped out a laugh. It would stare almost thoughtfully at Charles as he worked. It seemed to like flying around and annoying Uncle, as well, particularly when he’d fall asleep on the job. “That damn bird!” He cussed one hot afternoon. “I like it.” You smiled as the bird chirped out, almost arguing with the old man. One evening, when you had climbed up on the roof to do some work with laying the shingles, it hovered near you. “I ain’t gonna fall,” You told it. “Quit you’re worrying.” You realized it sounded like you were talking to a person, but at this point, the little blue jay felt like part of the gang. It was a friend. You dreaded the day it flew away and didn’t come back. But it was here for now, and you were going to enjoy its presence and its song. As you rested in the shade of the tall chimney, the bird came to land on your knee, staring up at you with eyes almost human. Eyes you felt like you’d seen before. It chirped at you and you smiled back it. “Hey, little fella. Time for you to take a break too?” It chirped back, walking further up your leg before settling down on your thigh, seemingly content. And you felt content, as well. The cool bricks against your back, the warm sun overhead, and the beautiful countryside that you called home, for now. It felt good to have your friends, your family, back again. For the first time in seven years, you felt alright. Content. Happy, even. That night, John slid down the latter, declaring the house officially finished and offering each of you a home there. The blue jay soared around the roof, singing the whole time before coming to land on the rail of the porch, watching the four of you as you admired your handy work. Your home.
It was from this perch that the blue jay watched you all later that night, gathered around a warm campfire drinking and telling stories of your lives from the time you’d been apart.
“When I was just a lad, you know, I met a gal from ol’ Bordeaux,” Uncle started to sing after a particularly stiff drink. You each seemed to join in as you passed the bottle around. You thought you may’ve drank too much when you started to hear a high pitched noise join in. “That’s what you call the ring-dang-doo!” They sang as you looked around, determined, even in you’re a bit inebriated state, to find the source of the noise. And then you saw it. The blue jay. Joining in your song and singing with you. You couldn’t help but smile and raise your bottle. To the blue jay.
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itsmariotti-blog · 6 years ago
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Jay Mariotti: Who's got it better? Harbaugh
He wasn’t on the ballot and has yet to coach a game at Michigan, yet Jim Harbaugh finished fourth in voting last week for the student-body presidency. This should shock no one who has watched life’s two proven equalizers, karma and justice, embrace him with hugs and love since Dec. 28. You’ll remember that as the dark and dirty afternoon when the 49ers — and there is no other way to state it — removed his khaki-covered carcass from the premises in one of football’s all-time mismanagement fiascos.
Those of us who know Harbaugh — me from way back — realize his public persona is something of an act. Yet no PR firm could shape a campaign that has him coming off as a happy, wealthy and enormously popular BMOC, in contrast to a Jed York-Trent Baalke corporate abomination that grows more sour and depressing by the hour at Levi’s Stadium. Seems Harbaugh makes more news than the Kardashians these days, the difference being that his events always glow with good, fun vibes, devoid of a Kanye or Disick funk.
“Disappointed w/4th place finish for @umich student body Pres,” he cracked Monday on his Twitter account. “Competitive juices flowing! Hat in the ring for 2016 & will campaign.”
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Can a man beat Urban Meyer and rule a large student body in one swoop? Jimmy Frat House might be the only coach capable of pulling this off. It’s amazing how he keeps his personal headline cycle generating with cool water-cooler buzz that must warm the collective embittered souls of 49ers fans, who at least can root for Harbaugh from afar while their franchise implodes amid a crippling roster exodus and a bizarre coaching appointment. If he already had blown away York and Baalke in the public-opinion race, what’s happened since is a rout akin to the last Seahawks loss.
There was Harbaugh on a snowy afternoon in Ann Arbor, playing good Samaritan when he observed a rollover crash on an interstate highway. Christine Mowrer didn’t know who he was, but covered in blood after her 2003 Jeep Cherokee flipped at least three times, she was relieved to see Harbaugh and another football staff member wrap her and her 73-year-old mother in blankets and administer first aid until help arrived. “He probably kept me from going into shock,” Mowrer, 53, told the Ann Arbor News from her hospital bed. “I had blood dripping out of my nose, and he helped me out and got me onto the ground.”
Meanwhile, in Santa Clara, York and Baalke were trying to explain the identity of Jim Tomsula and douse speculation that Tomsula had undercut Harbaugh to get his job, furthering perceptions that the departed angel had been sabotaged by the worst kind of office politics. As Harbaugh said to a Bay Area columnist, “[You] definitely walk down the halls and people look away or they look at you and you know something’s going on,” adding that it would be a good issue for Tomsula to address. When Tomsula did address it, he blamed the media and never really denied it.
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There was Harbaugh, going to Michigan basketball games, belting out the “Hail to the Victors” school fight song and pressing his hand against his heart during the national anthem. There was Harbaugh, staying in a budget hotel with his assistant coaches and eating pre-dawn cereal in the lobby before carpooling to Schembechler Hall and staying until midnight. There was Harbaugh, hanging out with his 25-year-old son, Jay, the new tight ends coach. There was Harbaugh, waving at students who wear “Maize, Blue and Khaki” T-shirts and “Welcome to Ann Arbaugh” clothing lines. St. Jim, they were calling him.
Meanwhile, in Santa Clara, York and Baalke were ducking reporters on a day when serious explanations were needed for fans. Why was Patrick Willis retiring? Why were Frank Gore and Mike Iupati leaving? Why was Justin Smith considering leaving? Why was yet another player in trouble with the law? Why wasn’t the highly regarded Vic Fangio given the head coaching job? And why was Tomsula babbling incoherently during a CSN Bay Area introductory interview?
There was Harbaugh, a big fan of the “Judge Judy” show, using his Twitter feed to congratulate Judith Sheindlin for signing a contract extension, to which she replied with a good-luck wish for his opening collegiate season. There was Harbaugh, hosting NFL prospects Jameis Winston and Bryce Petty for precombine workouts in what only could be a tribute to his standing as a quarterbacking guru.
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Meanwhile, in Santa Clara, Baalke was denying reports he is shopping Harbaugh’s regressing pet QB, Colin Kaepernick. This while Kaepernick was engaging in Twitter wars and telling one fan, @battman_returns, to “mind your damn business, clown” and to “get better at life!” — all because one Stephen Batten had said Kaepernick’s abs workouts wouldn’t help him find open receivers, which is kind of true.
There was Harbaugh, escaping the Midwest winter for Arizona, coaching first base for the A’s as a “special guest instructor” for an old pal from his Palo Alto boyhood, manager Bob Melvin. And you know what he said after the Cactus League victory? “How does it get any better than this?” he gushed, in a variation of his famous line. “It’s a great day for baseball, and just to be able to put on the uniform … I haven’t been in a baseball uniform since American Legion ball.”
“He’s an inspiration just walking out here,” Melvin said. “He’s got that air about him. He’s always been quite the competitor and everyone knows that. A winner. And whenever you can have guys like that around, guys benefit from it. Plus you don’t find too many guys who want to get in uniform and go out there and interact with the guys during the workout.” Meanwhile, in Santa Clara, emerging defensive star Chris Borland was becoming an inspiration in his own right by retiring from football at age 24, injecting a cursed element into the raging chaos.
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Given the turbulence and in-house leaks that undermined Harbaugh’s final season with the Niners, he deserves to experience a blossoming love affair at his alma mater. If York were an effective CEO, he would have made the Harbaugh-Baalke combination work and buffered their strained relations. The Seahawks have made it work with Pete Carroll and John Schneider, but instead of drawing lines for the coach and GM, York did the covenient management dance and sided with his fellow exec. I covered a fairly famous sports dynasty, the Chicago Bulls of the 1990s, that ended prematurely because an owner couldn’t soothe the differences between a general manager and a coach named Phil Jackson, who went on to win more championships than any coach in NBA history. Yet everyone weathered the storms long enough to win six titles, six more than these 49ers won.
“You have to have like-minded people building a team,” Baalke said in a media gathering after Tomsula’s first news conference. “If you don’t have like-minded people building a team, coach, coaching staff, front office … If we’re not all looking for the same characteristics, the same type of players, it’s tough to build a unit that can go out there on Sundays and win football games.”
We’re still waiting for York to say that he failed in letting the marriage collapse, in choosing a winner and a loser. Clearly, he wasn’t overly interested in appeasing Harbaugh after using his ultrasuccessful debut season to help get a $1.3-billion stadium built in Silicon Valley. The coach was too popular and wanted too much power, and regardless of his three consecutive appearances in the NFC title game, the big bosses wanted control and no tugging of the rope. Now, Baalke gets to pull the strings of his puppet, Tomsula, and tell him which assistants to hire and which players to acquire. Now, York can preside over his sterile, quiet stadium — the high-tech antithesis of Candlestick — and count megaprofits from Super Bowl 50, WrestleMania 31 and an outdoor hockey game.
Each party in this debacle has gained total control — Harbaugh in Ann Arbor, York and Baalke in Santa Clara. Yet only one man is going to win a lot of football games anytime soon. Someone asked Harbaugh if he viewed himself as the messiah of Michigan.
“I’m not comfortable with that at all,” he said.
Oh, yes, he is. Very comfortable.
Be happy for him. He deserves that much.
Mariotti is sports director and lead sports columnist at the San Francisco Examiner. He can be reached at [email protected]. Read his website at jaymariotti.com.
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caisjunlis · 7 years ago
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Flashback and Windowsills~ A Jayvie Drabble
It was a cold, winter night in Auradon. Sitting on a windowsill of the boys’ dorm room and wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket, the daughter of the Evil Queen was gazing at the falling snow, lost in thought. Mal and Carlos were fast asleep on the couch. Jay had decided to take an impromptu shower about half an hour ago and when he joined her, his hair was dripping wet and he had nothing to cover his bare chest. “Looks like quite a spectacle you’re staring at Princess” She barely glanced up at him and picked up one of his T-shirts, laying on the floor before tossing it at him. “Put it on, before you get sick Jay” she said, reporting her attention on the snowy night. He scoffed and sat across from her, but he did put the shirt on, nonetheless. “I never get sick, E.” She was the one to scoff this time. “Yeah sure Jay, whatever you say.” He knew why she was in a relatively bad mood, it was Dizzy’s birthday and Evie could not even say it to the little girl. The bluenette’s heart still ached to be away from the people she cherished the most besides her friends. She was not ready to talk yet, Jay was not going to force into sharing her thoughts if she wasn’t willing to. So he sat there, with her, watching the falling snow. For a little bit before the silence was broken again.
“Maybe we should get some sleep. Just like them” He said, glancing at the two figures sleeping on the couch, of course he knew she would turn the offer down. She didn’t respond right away and he was getting seriously nervous, not knowing what to do. “I’m way too worried to sleep.” He had barely heard what she said so he cupped her chin gently, and the princess turned her head around to look at the thief. Eyes shining with tears, she gave him a faint smile. “She is alright Blueberry, Silver is there with her and so is Gil, I don’t really like the guy but I doubt he’ll let anyone hurt Dizzy. He likes her a lot too you know. She has that effect on people. Damn! I bet that even Uma likes getting those braids done at the salon.” And that was the line that won her over and made her chuckle; Uma could not stand Dizzy’s joyful babbling and was doing everything she could to avoid going to “Curl Up & Dye” In fact, Uma hated anything, or anyone that had even the slightest connection with Mal. Except Silver, for some reason, perhaps because the cyborg himself, was not fond of the purple haired teenager either. She reached for Jay’s hand and squeezed it tight, probably too tight but it’s not like she could physically hurt him, he was way too strong for that.
“I knew neither of you would actually sleep. I’m sure she knows you thought about her today, E.” Carlos’ muffled voice startled them both. Evie looked up to the boy, who was standing up, rubbing his eyes over his hand and making his way towards his two friends. “I’m sorry we woke you up Carlos” He smiled and sat on the floor, taking Evie’s second hand. “You know I can never sleep soundly anyway, especially when I know you’re sad.” She clutched onto Carlos’ hand tighter. Who could blame him? Cruella De Vil was born with the perfect name. Crazy, cruel, when furious, she could make your entire existence a living nightmare and this was a hell that was no stranger to Carlos. At some point, all their lives had been so miserable; they created a hideout, a place in which they could stay when things were getting too tough to handle. They all had their own beds, their own closets, obviously full of Evie’s creations.
It was John Silver, the cyborg pirate, who had the idea, he knew that the kids could not always stay at his house; it was big enough for him and maybe three kids. But he could not welcome 8 kids all at the same time, so he brought the idea up and found a rather old and empty apartment, right where the “Flying Rocks” sign was placed. He had bought most of the furniture, Gil had even helped build some of it, Jay definitely stole some stuff, Mal took care of the interior decoration and Evie kept designing and making new clothes. Carlos installed the electrical equipment with some help from Silver and in a matter of weeks; the Core Four had the perfect hideout. Evie had secretly made an outfit for Gil, as he did some major work with the beds and wardrobes. It was not much of course, but the gesture made the boy very happy nonetheless. He knew the Core Four weren’t fond of him, as he was close to both Uma and Harry Hook, but Evie and Carlos were always acting rather friendly towards him. Well, as friendly as you can be when your leaders hate each other.
“I miss the hideout, it was always warmer than the Castle” Evie stated, breaking the silence once again and wrapped the blanket even tighter around her body, letting go of the boys’ hands. “You’re always freezing, Blueberry.” Jay said, with a smile. Mocking a scandalized expression; she hit his arm lightly. “That’s not true!” Jay’s grin grew even wider. “Oh you want to bet on that? I seem to recall that the last time we had a movie night, you kept stealing blankets, just because you were cold.” She chuckled slightly. “Alright, I was indeed freezing that night.” She admitted it or at least a part of it, yes she was cold that night, but she kept burying herself under the blankets because she knew that Jay would eventually wrap his arms around her. He did, and pressed a kiss on the crown of her head. Like always it was either the crown, or the forehead. She remembered the first time he did that.
They were at John Silver’s house, before the hideout was built. They were spending time with the lonely cyborg, Carlos, Gil and Dizzy, simply playing some board game. Evie, Jay and Dizzy had won and Jay in his well known competitive nature, started showing off and eventually pressed a kiss on the girls’ foreheads. It was a sweet gesture,and Evie smiled at that memory.
“Feeling a little better Blueberry?” the former thief asked, seeing her smile a little. Evie nodded, and Jay took her hand one more time, Carlos looked at his friends, confused, was there something going on that he and Mal didn’t know about ? As far as he could remember, Jay and Evie had been rather close from the beginning, teasing and flirting with each other, but were they- No; The Evil Queen was a cruel woman, all their parents were, but while both Jafar and Maleficent were more prone to use physical pain, the Evil Queen and Cruella relied on other ways to punish their children, and manipulation was and had always been their favorite way of getting whatever they wanted from Evie and Carlos. The Evil Queen kept belittling her own daughter because she was way more beautiful than her and she surveyed Evie like she was some sort of prize that no one could afford to have. And while it was obvious Evie was suffering, she kept a proud face and stood strong, but for some reason, she always shared a lot more with Jay than with Mal and him. Not that it bothered Carlos, there were things that were better kept private and he didn’t need to know every single feeling Evie had. Could it be that they had a fling on the Isle that no one noticed? Besides Dizzy and Silver, these two could read minds, Carlos was absolutely certain of that. Dizzy, Silver and Gil… He wasn’t really fond of Uma and Harry but he really bonded with the poor Gil when they were listening to Silver’s endless stories. He did miss the Isle in a way. If only he could see them again…
“Carlos? Are you okay?” Evie had left her spot and kneeled right before his eyes. “Evie, I’m not having a panic attack, I’m fine.” Carlos spoke softly, almost sheepishly. Evie sighed, visibly relieved and hugged him. Carlos was no stranger to anxiety, nightmares from his life on the Isle, it got better, but they still happened quite regularly. “We should sleep, before we wake Miss Purple over here” Jay said, gesturing at Mal, peacefully asleep on the couch. “Or so they think” Mal knew she should have gotten up and comforted her friends but, what could she say? She didn’t know them like they did. If they wanted to talk about it, they would, and she would listen and even share some very poor, pre-made advice she had seen in the magazines Evie had lying around the dorm room.
But she couldn’t, it was their time to be alone just the three of them together, and that was something she wanted to respect. Yes, she was totally eavesdropping this conversation but she couldn’t sleep either, she had a plan. A plan that would take time, but Mal was adamant on making this work. And it would work. She was certain of that.
Carlos had gone back to bed, Dude curled up to his side and the boy’s slight snoring could be heard in the silence of the dorm room and Mal was mumbling random, inaudible words in her sleep. Evie and Jay had returned to the windowsill, but this time, the bluenette was settled against his chest, her fingers playing with a small, dainty, golden bracelet.
"I remember the day I offered you that thing" he gently took the piece of jewelry from her hands to examine it. She had taken care of it so well, it looked exactly the same as before. She slightly chuckled and snatched it away from the long-haired teenager. "I remember too, it was the worst birthday party in the history of the Isle Of The Lost !"
Jay clipped the bracelet back on her wrist. "It actually was perfectly fine until Maleficent showed up in all her rage and wrath, screaming at your mom for not inviting her." They both laughed quietly, Maleficent was quite a drama Queen, maybe even more than the Evil Queen herself. "You kept walking past the castle after that day, every day for 10 years. Why ?" Jay’s heart skipped a beat. He knew she would ask him this question one day, but he didn’t know what to answer. How do you tell a girl like Evie that your feelings for her are so strong they scare you ? The weight on his chest disappeared, she was sitting up, staring straight into his dark eyes, blue curls shining in the moonlight. Jay held her stare, and could feel his heart beating even faster than before. "I was just wondering when Blueberry would come out to play Save the Princess with me" he had tried to laugh it off, like he always does when he is embarrassed.
She raised an eyebrow, she wasn’t convinced. At all. "I know what you’re doing, but I won’t push you, J. You have the right to keep it to yourself, but I still hope I’ll get an explanation one day." His gaze had shifted towards the window. He looked like a sheepish little boy. She shook her head, smiling and settled back into his arms and intertwined her fingers with his.
"You’re my Blueberry, E."
"I know. And you’re my thief, J."
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thewritingfox · 6 years ago
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Soulmates- Chapter 8
Master Post-> https://thewritingfox.tumblr.com/post/174423752657/soulmates-master-post-first-draft
At last they arrived and Miss Cici excused herself to make a phone call. After getting lost for a few hours, it ended up being a sixteen hour drive. When they got there both boys unloaded what bags they had and collapsed on the couch in the light blue and black painted sitting room. “This house is HUGE, and it looks like a mix between modern and straight out of a fairytale.”
“It’s been in his mother’s family since early settlers. Her family snuck on the Mayflower and to avoid being captured and hung by those crazies they fled into the woods as far as they could until they figured they were safe and built this place. It’s been burned down a few times, and every few generations it got remodeled. She decided she wanted to restore it as best as she could, but also update it at the same time. I think it was disguised as a plantation at one point and helped hide escaped slaves, though I could be wrong.”
“Wow, that’s incredible!” Roman gaped. Virgil nodded in agreement.
“It’s like time just stopped here.” She mumbled as she walked over to the dusty portrait of Virgil’s mothers hanging over the fireplace, smiling nostalgically. Virgil touch the lockets around his neck. He hadn’t thought of the two much since in years and he suddenly felt guilty about it. He was in their house, he’d destroyed their happy ever after. He shook the thoughts from his head, feeling tears spring up in his eyes. “I suggest we each take a guest room for the night, I’ll order us some chinese-” Miss Cici rushed into the room in a flurry of anger, grabbed her suitcases and stormed upstairs in the direction of guest room and everyone winced at the sound of a slamming door. Virgil stood from the couch and followed the sound of angry crying and stopped outside of a door.
“STUPID IDIOTS! WHY CAN’T THEY JUST UNDERSTAND?! THIS IS MY JOB! I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF MYSELF! UGH! STUPID BRYAN AND STUPID JAY! THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT’S LIKE!” Virgil knocked softly and she threw open the door, the anger on her face melting away as she looked at the boy who she thought of almost as her son. “Oh hello Virgil. I’m sorry about all that! I just-”
“G-got i-int-to an a-argume-ment w-with y-your s-soulm-mates?”
“Yeah, they think that I should’ve stayed home with them and rested. But I had to see you off to college and I have to take care of your aunt.”
“R-rested?” She grimmiced.
“Well, I suppose I can’t hide it much longer. The boys and I decided we should have a kid and they’re worried that working will kill the baby.”
“O-oh!”
“Yeah, and I know stress is bad, but this job is the opposite of stressful! All I do is a few chores, play games with your aunt, and make sure to administer her medicines on time.”
“Y-you kn-know I-I n-never w-was t-tol w-what’s w-wrong w-with h-her. A-all I kn-know i-is sh-she’s r-really s-sick.”
“Oh boy,” Cici said nervously as she scratched the back of her neck. “To put it simply, she’s dying, very slowly. It’s something that happens after your soulmate dies, you slowly start dying. Most die almost instantly, but something in your two sides of family seems hellbent on continuing to live, but the result is a very slow and painful death, and it doesn’t help that she is killing her body with all the smoking and drinking she does. She’s just causing herself more pain. The medicines help ease her pain and keep her alive, though even they won’t be able to help forever…”
“O-oh… oh w-wow…”
“I know,” she sighed. “A lot of information to take in at once.”
“Y-yeah…”
“But, hey, she’s a stubborn one! I bet she can make it to a hundred and be the oldest living survivor of soulmate death, just to spite the doctors telling her she’ll die! And didn’t you say that Roman said that the other two lived nearby?”
“Y-yeah. Th-though w-we d-don’t kn-know m-much e-else. P-Pat c-can’t d-decide w-what h-he w-wants t-to d-do i-in l-life a-and L-lo j-just w-want-ts t-to l-learn e-ever-ry-th-thing he c-can.”
“Lo sounds like a smart boy.”
“F-from w-what I kn-know he is. K-keeps t-to h-hims-self f-for the m-most p-part.”
“Hm… We should probably head downstairs, your aunt will be ordering Chinese soon.” Virgil nodded and stood with her and went downstairs together and found Roman had taken his bags and aunt Mabel’s to some guest rooms while she was on her laptop trying to find a chinese place that she found satisfactory. Virgil asked her for some pot stickers and orange chicken, then grabbed his bags and went in search of a spare room to put his stuff.
The room he chose was next to the room he and his mother had practiced art in so many times when he was little, and was dark and dull in comparison. All of the furniture was made out of mahogany and had plain white sheets and a white duvet. He set his suitcase on the bed and watched it sink deep into the memory foam. He laid back on the bed and took off the necklace and looked at his mothers. He wondered what they’d think of him. Would they be proud? Happy he was back home? Or going to their school? He knew he’d never actually know. He started to drift off to sleep when he heard a loud thump and then profuse swearing coming from the next room. He stood to investigate.
He found the next bedroom over’s door slightly ajar and spotted Roman sprawled unceremoniously on the floor, rubbing his head. “Well, brilliant!”
“R-Ro? W-what ha-happened?!”
“Oh I just stubbed my toe and then tripped.” Virgil tried to cover up his laughter, but failed miserably. “Yeah I know, utterly brilliant of me! Thank Virge!” Virgil suddenly became very serious and grabbed Roman’s hand and almost effortlessly lifted Roman off the floor, “accidently” pulling him a little too hard, so Roman was now in his arms. Virgil smirked but then his face turned to concern and lightly touched the spot where Roman had hit his head. Virgil could tell it hurt a lot, but he wasn’t concussed. “V-virge?” Roman stuttered sheepishly. Virgil could feel Roman’s breath on his chin, suddenly noticing how much taller than the boy he was when he stood straight then realized just how close Roman was. He blushed and pushed Roman back softly then went back to his room before softly closing the door. He grabbed a pillow off the bed and started pacing before sinking against the door. He pressed his face into the pillow. He buried his face deeper into the pillow as his face got redder. Their faces had been so close, and now all Virgil could think of was Roman’s cute face. He didn’t realize he’d started screaming into the pillow until his throat hurt. From somewhere in the house he heard someone calling his name, saying that food was there, but he found himself unable to move for a few more minutes before uncurling himself from the ball he’d formed to go down and eat the warm food that was waiting for him. As he settled down and looked at his family, he smiled softly thinking about how lucky he was.
TAG LIST:
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annualsurveyresults · 7 years ago
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2017 Year End Survey Results
2017 Year End Survey!!!
Hi Friends…
Happy Valentine’s Day, we hope you’re all well and that love is in the air. 
This email is going out to the awesome ones who responded to the poll (51 out of approximately 150 recipients). It turns out it hit a lot of people’s spam folders, so next year we will do a better job of clarifying the subject, etc.
As the survey has grown, there are now too many answers for us to add comments and include links, so this year the answers are coming as filtered lists (we cut where necessary, to try to be useful and concise).
Thank you so much for your answers!
Section 1: What is Tickling Your Brain
Meaningful Books
Margin of Safety by Seth Klarman
Sapiens
Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win
American Eclipse
Cryptocurrency
Seven Mysteries of Life
Owned: Property, Privacy, and the New Digital Serfdom
Tiffany Haddish The Last Black Unicorn.
Colson Whitehead, The Underground Railroad
Fourth State of Matter (New Yorker piece)
The President’s Devotional
Born a Crime
Creativity, Inc.
A Little Life
Hillbilly Elegy
Book of Joy by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
Don Quixote
Oryx and Crake
All the Rivers
The Fifth Season
The Nix
Persepolis Rising
The Female Brain
The Undoing Project
Moonglow by Michael Chabon
The Girls on The Train
Underground Railroad
When Breath Becomes Air
Short and Tragic Life of Robert Peace
The Innovators
Caine Mutiny
Pachinko
Beyond the Sky and the Earth
Saints for All Occasions
We Were 8 Years in Power
The Odyssey: A Father a Son & an Epic
Achilles in Vietnam
Zero to One
The Taste of Empire
May We Be Forgiven
Homegoing
Being Mortal
Born to Run
The Smartest Kids in the World
Groovy Song or Band (well known artists/songs were filtered out, focusing on discovery)
James Booker
“Sound of Silence” - Disturbed
Electrocutioner – Soraia
Flamingo
I’m The One
Sharkmuffin
Chicano Batman
Lord Echo
Jason Isbell
Hank 3
Waist Deep in the Big Muddy
Zodiac by Dave Douglas and friends
Static and Ben El Tavori
Ben Franklin’s Song (the Decembrists)
Kevin Morby
CHVRCHES
Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings
Secret Weapons
Squirrel Nut Zippers, Metropolitan Klezmer
Dr. Dog’s Abandoned Mansion
Old Crow Medicine Show
De La Soul
Despair
The XX
Favorite Apps or Websites (well known apps/sites were filtered out, focusing on discovery)
Autodesk Graphic, Robinhood
Kaggle
ParkNYC
Hades Star - game
Weather.gov - everyday weather
Strictly Dumpling Mike Chen Food Reviews on Youtube
overcast
TheRawStory.com
ThinkorSwim, Kerbal Space Program
Nextdoor
Design Home game, Monument Valley, Redbubble
childmind.org
Ars Technica
Duolingo, NPROne, Feedly.com
Remodelista
Verify (OCR receipts - expense tracking); Day One (journal)
Strava, belfastcommunityradio.org, All Trails app
Wirecutter
The RealReal, Pickett of London
Citymapper
cupofjo.com
.alltop.com/photography
goodguide.com
blinkist, farnamstreetblog, bothsidesofthetable
Podcasts (well known podcasts retained, focusing on reinforcing quality)
Chapo Trap House, Intercepted, Archaeological Fantasies
Fresh Air, RadioLab, Terrible -Thanks for Asking
The Daily, On Being, Radiolab
Planet Money, Pod Save America, Radiolab
Real Vision, The Moth
99% Invisible
S-Town
Kalaidocast
The Daily, Pod Save America, Lovitt or Leave It
Imaginary Worlds, Jay + Miles X-Plain the X-Men, Blank Check with Griffin and David
Slow Burn; Pod Save America; RadioLab More Perfect
Slate’s The Gist; MSNBC Rachel Maddow; Week in the Knees
Wow in the World, Deadpod, Dope Queens
The Daily, S*Town, How I Built This
Splendid Table, Pod Save America
Busy Phillips podcast
Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me; It’s Been a Minute; This American Life
NPR 1 (for Terry Gross), Global Politico, Preet Bharara’s new podcast
HBR Idea Cast, a16z, Tim Ferris Show
Adventures in Finance, Bloomberg Surveillance, The Moth Radio Hour
In Our Time, This American Life, Fresh Air
S-town, Revisionist History, Rachel Maddow
Section 2:  Soul - Feeling Better
What Makes You Happy (answers filtered based on broad applicability and usefulness)
Silence
drawing
Puzzle Mania 😀
Beer and wine
The possibility of reducing work to three days a week
family time / family vacation
Salty food and walking the local golf course with my dog off leash
Tennis
My SodaStream
My dogs
Exercise
Los Angeles
Sleep
Freedom
Skiing
Jogging
Civic Engagement
Reconnecting
Reading
Learning about self-compassion
Robert Mueller
yoga and Bulgarian yogurt
Stress Relief (answers filtered based on broad applicability and usefulness)
Drawing cartoons on my iPad.
Crossfit & Krav
Table Tennis
Quiet Places
luna & larry’s coconut bliss dark chocolate ice cream
Running
Hot shower on the weekends
Building Stuff
Citibike
Tennis
Swimming/hot tub
Mindless computer games like solitaire
Long Walks
Making Art
yoga and Tango Dancing
Reading and Writing Poetry
Transcendental Meditation
Kickboxing
Skiing
Needlepoint
Stop Taking Things So Seriously.
Being organized to that I actually get the piles of papers/bills/etc off my “To Do List”
SLT (strengthen lengthen tone) UWS
Mindfulness practices & class (meditation, writing prompts)
Biking
Cooking
vodka or tequila mixed with club soda with a squeeze of lime
Meaningful Not-For-Profit Organization (no filtering, if you named it, it’s in here…)
Sleeping Giants
Los Angeles County Bicycle Coalition
misophonia research causes
Yvote
Israeli Venture Network
Humane Society of NY
International Refugee Assistance Project
Courageous Parents Network, helping families parent children with serious illness
The Bronx Freedom Fund
Goddard Riverside
IBD Support Foundation
Village Health Works
I just discovered the store BoxLunch, Badass Brooklyn Dog rescue is cool, also Tennessee Elephant Sanctuary is an amazing Group.
Hadassah hospital.
Jewish Funders Network
Child Mind Institute
CASA - court appointed special advocates for foster care children
EFF
The Trevor Project
Run For Something
Apex for Youth
Hazon
Indivisible, Hadassah
Child Mind Institute, Planned Parenthood
Mercy Corps
Harlem Children’s Zone
Indivisible
Second Harvest
City Step
Center for Justice and Democracy
Karuna Foundation
Speak Up Africa - helping mothers and newborns stay healthy
God’s Love We Deliver
Amani Global Works
Biblioburro
Gabby Giffords antigun PAC (giffords PAC) is fighting the right fight
AGW & WEACT (We Act for Environmental Justice)
ADL
Coney Island Prep
Polaris Project
American Cancer Society
Charity Water
Climate Reality Project
Inspiring Politician (no filtering, if you wrote it, it’s in here…)
No One/LOL (8)
Elizabeth Warren (5)
Donald Trump (“he inspired me to be active”) (3)
Tarana Burke (2) (#MeToo)
Kirsten Gillibrand (2)
Danica Roem (2)
Bernie Sanders (2)
Sally Yates (2)
John McCain
Jimmy Kimmel
Angela Merkel - her face says what I feel about American politics.
Adam Schiff
Samantha Bee
John McCain
Scott Stringer
Jeff Flake
Chris Murphy
Joe Kahn
Cory Booker
Michelle Obama
Jon Ossoff
Hillary Clinton
Bob Ferguson - Washington State Attorney General
Best Restaurant Experience This Year (no filtering, if you wrote it, it’s in here…)
PABU Izakaya in SF
Blanca
Berns Steakhouse in Tampa, FL
Breakfast Burrito from Frank’s on Fairfax
Sushi Nakazawa
Los Angeles Tatsu Ramen, Pork Bao on Melrose.
Asiate
Boulud Sud
Tomahawk steak at Gelso & Grand has changed me as a person
Park Avenue Summer
Pokeworks at lunch
Azurmendi ½ hour outside Bilbao Spain
The Modern (2)
Atlantic Grill
Candle Cafe
Barbuzzo (Philadelphia)
ABC Kitchen
Here’s Looking at You (LA)
Excellent Dumpling House in Chelsea
Burma Superstar
Blue Ribbon Brasserie, SoHo
Eataly
Quality Italian
Sate Kampar, Philadelphia
Shalom Y'all
Nix
Azurmende (in Bilbao)
Breakfast at Hyatt Kathmandu
Vietnam on First Avenue NYC
Maison Pickle
Jeni’s Ice Cream (ATL)
Sushi Takeshima in Kanazawa, Japan
Mastros
Picco Larkspur, CA
The Old Rose in the Jane Hotel
Souley Vegan - Oakland
Four Seasons Jackson Hole
Chris Aerni’s is the chef/owner of the Rosemont Inn in New Brunswick, Canada
Bite Into Maine - Lobster Roll
Sushi Inoue
Best Purchase Under $500 (answers filtered based on broad applicability and usefulness)
Allbirds runners
Samsung 4K HDR Monitor
Adidas Ultra Boost running shoes
Netgear orbi
Airpods (4)
5 nights of babysitting
SodaStream
InstantPot!
Deluxe Ninja blender
Salomon hiking boots
Brookes walking shoes
Western Mountaineering Sleeping Bag
Amope Electronic Foot File
Contigo hot cup for on-the-go. Really does keep my tea warm for 4hrs!
Madewell Jeans
Wrinkle-free shirts from LL Bean
Amazon Echo
Bombas socks (honeycomb support structure rocks)
We designed a glass vase and had it blown for us by Lexington Glassworks in Asheville, NC
Smart Light Bulbs
F2C Indoor Exercise Bike Stand trainer W/ 8 Levels of Resistance
Dream “Off The Beaten Path” Vacation (filtered to focus on discovery)
Northern India
Hill Tribes of India
The Color wars in India
Jacmel, Haiti
Rocky Mountain National Park
Lake Louise
Azores (3)
Portugal (4)
Mississippi
Namibia, Africa
Morocco
Aran Islands, Ireland
Northern Scandinavia
Lamu, Kenya
Palau
Iceland - Fire and Ice experiences
Cuba
Health Products or Insights (not filtered - you were all very interesting on this one)
Sleep more
ClassPass - yoga once a week
Pull-up bar that pops in above door
Stretches learned during physical therapy, amazing. Better posture while standing. Using a standing desk that can move up and down.
Switched from Eucerin face cream to Rose Hip and Hibiscus Moisturizer, skin feels much better.
One big meal a day
Citibike
under desk bike, apple watch
Yoga
I have begun Pilates this year and it really seems to work with my body. I am hoping I can join a studio to work with the machines next year. Also the foam roller will change your life ! I roll my back daily and it helps soooo much!
Not eating 5 or more hours before going to bed
Started tai-chi
Drink water
Cycling
doing at least a little bit of yoga or stretching every single day
intermittent fasting
alkali water
Flotation
TM
Mindfulness in every-day moments
You can do a lot in one day rather than spread it out over 5-6 days
More mindful breathing.
Hiking with walking sticks really helps the knees.
Still searching for something that I will stick with
SLT and retinol nightly
Yoga. And stretching.
I had some imaging done on my heart. Does that count?
Feldenkrais
hot yoga (I know, it’s so 10 years ago)
Stretching!
Marula facial oil and MCT oil in coffee aka bulletproof coffee
Float tanks
Eating low carb
Insight: Dry Fasting as implemented by Dr. Sergei Filonov in Siberia – cured my friend’s debilitating Lyme disease with six weeks of treatment.
Magnesium Taurate (back pain)
Milk thistle
How often do you meditate?
3+ times per week:             6.1%
1 or 2 times per week:     18.4%
1 or 2 times per month:   12.2%
rarely:                               22.4%
never:                              40.8%
Prediction: Bitcoin price at the end of 2018
>$25,000                                        22.0%
Between $25,000 and $2,500       63.4%
<$2,500                                         14.6%
Prediction: Senate after 2018 Elections
Republicans gain seats (>51 seats):        6.4%
51 Rep / 49 Dem (stays the same):         4.3%
50 / 50:                                                  23.4%
Democrats gain control:                       66.0%
Prediction: Who will win the World Cup
“I don’t care”:           53.1%
Germany:                 14.3%
Brazil:                       10.2%
Spain:                        6.1%
Argentina:                  6.1%
All other choices too low to bother with…
Favorite Life Hack (light filtering for usefulness)
Always be kind to your wife
Make a daily list of three things each day for which you are grateful.
Rely on the experts. They’re generally right
Better to “get over it” quickly
Using binder clips to hold loose wires to back of desk
Gowanus is as cool of a neighborhood as it is ugly.
Seek out comedy and laugh as much as possible. Recent interests Tiffany Haddish and Judd Apatow has a few good laughs on his special.
You don’t control your circumstances, you can control how you deal with them
Ink + Volt Planner
shave only once a week
Practice patience…
This is probably common knowledge to everyone, but it turns out there’s an arrow near the gas display that tells you which side of the car has the gas tank.
I learned about living an aloha life and while it is not super easy in NYC it is always a conscious decision that has not failed to make me feel better
“Books make my bed dirty, and alas, I ain’t got no transcendental eyeglasses”
Technology is not my friend
I should’ve spent more time with the Gottliebs in 2017. Will not make that mistake again.
Less social media. Facebook / twitter / insta can be bad for you.
overnight steel cut oats
Voters need to show up
Gmail allows variations to your address that include inserting a “.” anywhere or adding +“whatever you want” before the “@”. Generally logins require both you’re email address and your password. Half of that equation (your email address) is publicly available. For painless added security, when creating logins to sites, consider adding “+whatever you want” to the email address. A hacker would require both your password and this variation on your email address, which no one but you would have knowledge of. Incoming messages can also be filtered into folders by variations of this kind if you like (so “+secure”; “+junk”; “+temp”; “+important”).
Stop watching the news.
TM
It’s not as bad as it appears
To help kids be independent, we need to trust them.
Most damage can be repaired.
Be kind as often as you can because it will come back to you in spades
Book called subtle art of not giving a bleep….very good life advice
Take chances and try to be happy. Life is too short not to do so.
We need to regain a more equal distribution of income and the belief that we should take care of each other.
bidet
Getting old sucks
Growing old is good and becoming invisible has distinct advantages.
It’s not a new one, but work/life balance is CRUCIAL
Life is short.
When I say “yes” to something, what I am saying “no” to?
Electric power consumption will increase steadily over time notwithstanding efficiency gains in products that consume electricity
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noshittwobit · 7 years ago
Text
Tim Shepard
This is my entry to @captain-sodapop​ drabble contest! This is kind of a part 1 of 2 that I hopefully will be finishing today! I didn’t know what to call this, so if any of you guys have a title suggestion that would be great! Happy final day of the @theoutsidersweekend​!!
Tim stared into the almost empty ice box. How the fuck was mustard, moldy beans, and a few old slices of cheese supposed to feed someone? He let the lid slam shut, shuffling towards the back door. He’ll get something to eat on the way. After patting down his pockets once, making sure that the small packet was with him, he opened the door. One of the dogs stirred, picking it’s head up from the dirty floor, drool dripping from its mouth, but Tim paid no attention, and walked out into the brisk air.
The sun had officially disappeared leaving behind a warm red sky that faded into a smokey blue. The backyard was both parts barren and over grown. Dusk had settled into the tall grass at the perimeter, blanketing it in shadow, while the dirt that dominated most of the yard mirrored the darkness of the sky above. Tim hopped down from the cement porch and started for the break in the fence, opposite the house. There was a balminess in the air that only a cool, humid summer night could produce. It seemed to muffle sound. Cars rolling by, the nighttime birds chirping, TV programs leaking from open windows were all dampened.
As he walked down the alley Tim lit a cigarette, flicking away the charred match, never breaking his stride. He was on his way to the old warehouses by the river,  some new clientele was meeting him there. Usually he said no to dealing on the River Kings turf, but this offer was too good to pass up. Even more unusual was the fact that he was going alone, a member or two of Tim’s gang always tagged along wherever he went, but tonight it was just him. The River Kings weren’t necessarily rivals nor enemies, but too many Shepard boys on their turf was bound to kick up some kind of trouble, and that was the last thing he needed tonight.
Out on the main road traffic was steady. Kids rumbled by, packed into cars, probably on the way to the drive-in. The diners and fast food joints were flooded with people, their parking lots filled to the brim. Tim thought about stopping at The Dingo, a usual hangout of his, but thought twice. He didn’t have time for conversation and questions, he couldn’t risk someone wiggling their way into tagging along. When the busy lot came into view, he crossed to the other side of the street.
Tim resisted looking over, and kept his usual composure, no eye contact, always looking ahead. Eye contact usually ended badly for him. He stopped at a busy intersection, The Dingo now safely behind him, and waited for traffic to clear. The sound of a siren cut through the vehicular drone, and Tim stepped out of the street light he was under, fading into the shadows. The police car cruised through the intersection, cars yielding, and Tim took this as an opportunity to cross.
Behind him a vehicle slowed down, coming to a crawl. Instinctively his hand gripped the switchblade in his jacket pocket, and his jaw tensed as a scowl marked his features.
“Hey! Tim!” A familiar voice rang out and he turned around to find a smiling blond head sticking out of a passenger side window.
“Curtis. What’s savvy?”
A rusting Two-Ten came to stop with Steve Randle at the wheel, cigarette in mouth. He was little cocky, sure, but Randle knew how to use his head and Tim always respected that. As for Soda Curtis, he dug alright. His older brother always had his door open for any member of Tim’s entourage, as long as they weren’t in too deep with the cops that is. A warm place to sleep and a free meal in the morning got you far in their neighborhood.
“Just heading down to Jay’s,” Curtis said with a smile and a mischievous glint in his eye.
Steve butted in, scooting over to the open window, and with a shit-eating grin added “Looking to score some action. What’s new with you Tim? Need a ride?”
“Just heading down to the warehouses off of Franklin. Business.” There was a silence over the boys, and Tim saw the curiosity restrained in their face as they bit their tongue. Everyone knew that Tim’s business was Tim’s business, if he wanted you to know about it he would tell you.
“Want us to hitch you a ride man?”
Tim looked at the scratched surface of his watch and the packets in his pocket felt heavier. If he got there early he could scope out the scene before his clients arrived.
“Yeah. I’ll hop in.”
It was only a short drive over to the warehouses. The buildings were old, built in the late 1800’s. Back then the Arkansas River was being used heavily for trade but now half of the warehouses were empty and falling apart. Glass was missing out of most windows and holes could be seen in the siding, which had lost any color it once had and now the buildings were same murky shades of grey and brown. The night had officially taken over and dark shadows were cast in every alley way, only the occasional yellow street light offered solace. The whole place gave Tim an eerie feel.
The boys dropped him off at the corner, as per Tim’s request, and he took off down the empty road, hand tucked securely on the blade in his pocket. In that moment he wished he had brought something more than a knife.
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