#and i was basically like ‘you wtf you can���t talk to them like that they’re just doing their job’
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catchyhuh · 1 year ago
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Sometimes what people wear as pajamas is a weird indicator of personality so... What’s your opinion on their pajamas?
it took less than a second for me to go “how do pjs indicate personaliOhhh wait yeah that does make sense” as I realized I was folding up multiple adult size cartoon character onesies for my own pajama drawer. let’s get into it BUT UH DISCLAIMER i mostly talk about patterns in canon i’ve noticed with just… tiny personal thoughts in here. less headcanons more breakdown. NOW let’s get into it
lupin:
two modes-- soft, fuzzy button up set, or just his underwear. somewhat depending on weather, DEFINITELY depending on mood. i mean you don't wanna get COLD and he got those nice purple heart pajamas with an actual, legal purchase, so it'd be stupid to waste them ALL the time!
there could be a joke here about how he’d probably just sleep naked if the gang weren’t constantly groaning in annoyance, throwing pillows at him begging him to put on some damn pants, but the reality is… he can’t really sleep like that. it’s uncomfy :( he tried :) but it’s uncomfy :(
jigen:
you aren't ready for this. or you are. you likely are, given i had to choose between like 3 different pictures i have of him in fits like this
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and i’m dead serious. big ass ankle length nightgown with matching cap. no, really. these are his actual pajamas. they’re comfy to him. i can’t fathom why, maybe the fabric is just equal parts breathable and warm, maybe he did this once for the bit and realized it was the best sleep he ever had, WHATEVER, these are his pajamas, and no amount of teasing by now will stop him from changing into these before going to bed
i have to respect them for committing to this bit, because you think, oh, he’s the coolest. he wouldn’t have lame pajamas. no he does. very lame. hilariously so. arose such a clatter type shit. nighty night scrooge
fujiko:
now, she would LIKE to say big, fluffy, fancy nightgown… but the texture feels bad scrubbing against your skin all night, so she usually just opts for a simpler nightgown. or, like lupin, just her underwear. obvious fanservice aside she’s clearly comfy bundled up like that so you show em how its done fujiko
no matter how cold it gets, she can never really sleep in pajama pants. shorts, maybe, but anything that reaches past her knees feels restrictive, hence why she normally just goes for the nightgown. she doesn’t even kick in her sleep idk why it’s such a big deal!
goemon:
i had to look through a bunch of stuff because i was like. wtf. what DOES he wear to bed. he can’t just be wearing his usual clothes all day and night, it would be uncomfortable. so i’ve come to the conclusion that these virtually identical clothes here are just made of a softer material, designated as goemon’s jammies
or he just. sleeps in his underwear. it really is comfsorry the mental image of the camera panning across three beds where they’re sleeping in their underwear vs jigen still rocking the victorian fit is killing me a bit
zenigata:
have you noticed he sleeps with his hat on more than jigen does. isn’t that fucked. jigen has a special sleeping hat but the alleged NON-hat-obsessed guy is the one sleeping in it. due to his… hectic routine, he never really has a default type of pjs. either he just sleeps in what he was already wearing (c’mon, man) or he’s packed like, some pajama pants, or (take another shot because this series loves this gag) just hits the hay in the heart print boxers. jigen really is a scientific outlier.
USUALLY if he’s bothering to actually change, it’s just the undershirt he’s already got on and some comfy pants, the kind you can get at like walmart for five bucks, so if he’s forgotten to bring them it’s no biggie. damn anon was right this IS a personality indicator!
BONUS YATA!:
as we have oft discussed, yata is a man we have all met at one point in our lives. so, yata has the basic boring man pajamas. t-shirt that’s too big for him but he forgot to return it, and seasonal pajama pants. the pants always seem to mismatch the season, he wore the snowflake ones during summer, and now he’s wearing the halloween ones in winter?
the shirt itself is also mundanely mysterious. nobody can really place the logo on it, and he doesn’t really remember where he got it from either. it doesn’t bother him too much until it’s pointed out to him
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elekinetic · 2 years ago
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user elekinetic do you have any tips to spare for outlining fics 😭 i feel like I word vomit any of the concept that I have in my head, and dialogue ,and build off that adding paragraphs as I go and I go so slow bc of it. But ive been trying hard lately to write a list of “scenes” and bullet point the story but yeah.
do you know anything that could help me have an idea of where to go start to finish instead of starting at the random spot I’ve come up with first? I waste so much writing time because I haven’t built a backstory for characters and things like that so i don’t always know how they start the story off, only the situation they’re in. Is that something that could help? Making a list for each character or something? Would love to hear your thoughts thank you! <3
hi! first of all i’m so flattered you asked! to be clear, i am a very slow writer too lmao and i’m relatively new to prose writing, and though in very confident in my understanding of what makes a good story (W screenwriting), i am still figuring out my outlining process. but hey! let’s learn together.
sorry in advance for how long this is. i love talking.
so i basically figure everything out in the outline and write after i feel very good about it. if you have a strong foundation, everything gets a hell of a lot easier. t kind of sounds like your process might be similar to mine, so i’m just gonna explain what i'm doing for my current project.
my key document is my “bible.” i split it up into a couple different sections using page breaks (page breaks my best friend ily page breaks):
pitch/word vomit summary
scene ideas
outline
notes
ok so wtf does that mean.
1. pitch/word vomit summary — explain your concept. bc i've got a film/tv background, im starting off with my logline. (e.g. "after robin learns will is gay, they have a heart to heart in an abandoned video store about insecurity and feeling alone. they learn they're not." sometimes i'll follow that up with a note to myself like, "this fic isn't robin finding out, this is what happens after. starts with her already knowing. will pov, focus on his perception of robin changing. subtly reference toward feelings about mike, dont come out (haha) and say it") then, i write as MUCH of the concept down as i can, like i'm explaining it to a friend. (sometimes i copy and paste rants from dms directly into the document). it can be totally out of order, non-sensical, contradictory. just get as many of your ideas down as possible. you want to be able to come back to this and be like, oh i totally forgot about that. vague chapter summaries, personal notes about themes, whatever you want. i have a list of beats that you find in romantic dramas for inspiration and a paragraph abt ways i want to parallel/subvert s3 of st. just. go ham. 2. scene ideas — this is pretty self explanatory. i take some of the stuff i have in the p/s and flesh it out, or put down new ideas. this is where i'm writing out dialogue in bullet points, or what i want them to be Really Saying. (e.g. "mike: [panics bc he feels seen, tries to flip it back on (redacted) and fails] ") this is for when i can see stuff more clearly or i get out of the shower with a whole exchange in my head. gonna be out of order, a little all over the place. 3. outline — so. this is where you start piecing it together. put the bullet points in order. figure out objective of each scene and what needs to happen to accomplish that goal. figure out pacing, what needs to happen when. this step is where im looking at dialogue and thinking "why does mike say that? why does he feel that way? what needs to happen to get him to this point emotionally?" or looking at scenes and thinking "these are two scenes with people arguing back to back. lets make sure they feel different and give the characters different tactics to get what they want (byler argument where mike is avoiding will vs max argument where max is avoiding lucas. i could use this to highlight similarities and differences in the relationships, but having two scenes with the same tactics back to back might feel repetitive. maybe i move the scenes farther apart or change circumstances. maybe mike and will are having a veiled argument while theyre with a group of friends in a public space and max and lucas' argument is outside max's house.) also asking if conflicts are resolved too quickly, if the miscommunications feel too convenient, if characters disappear or are only around as plot devices. write. troubleshoot. repeat. 4. random notes — everything else that doesnt fit. for me this is literally just taylor swift lyrics (writing the fic vaguely off of a Specific Song that SHOULD BE STREAMED MORE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE anyway) and links to posts i use as character reference to make sure im staying true to the characters. (remembering will said "i was being a total jerk to el, i deserved it," AND "you're ruining everything, and for what!"/"i wasn't moping!")
i want it to be clear im doing all of this at the same time. im jumping around and pulling new ideas and rearranging as stuff changes. i think the thing that's really hard is that i want to be able to sit down, write the outline, and then move on. but for us scatterbrained writers, you're gonna have to re-outline and readjust like. a thousand times. and that's okay. that's good! it feels tedious as hell but the story is so much better for it.
take your time. let yourself be slow. keep finding holes in your story and fill the world in as you fix them.
here are some more questions i ask myself to make the story better:
What are you trying to accomplish over the course of the story? What is it about? (for the will&robin fic, it was something about feeling seen for the first time.) When you get lost in your story or aren't sure why a scene feels stale, come back to this. is the scene furthering that goal?
What is changing internally for each of your main characters? (yes theyre dating by the end but like. what do they learn.)
Are the side characters people or props? (will pov scene of a party-wide picnic where everyone's talking but will is focused on mike's hands.... where is max's head at in the scene? you don't have to have a super long backstory and she doesn't have to be a big part of the plot, but if she's saying something, figure out why she's saying it. if will is having a heart to heart with el, understand why el is responding the way she is. the scene's goal may be to get will through a breakthrough, but el's circumstances will change in the scene too. figure out how this conversation lands with her. oh, and remember the adults are people too!)
Why is this character saying this/why are they responding this way? (this should answer your "where do i start?" question. start in that random spot and figure out A) why they are there and B) why they are reacting the way they do (see last bullet point).
side note: some of the best advice i ever got was "enter the scene late, exit early." skip the prologue. try starting from that random spot. if it feels like something's missing, figure out exactly what that something is, and go from there
Do the stakes feel high enough?
What do i need to set up to make sure this scene/beat is satisfying as possible? (are will and mike going to have a big argument? oh, so we have to show tension before.... BAM you have another scene to write and your outline is fuller)
i could go on a lot longer but. basically.
i edit while i write. i'm someone who needs a very fucking strong outline and a very fucking clear idea of the story before i can start writing it. i'm putting probably 70-80% of the leg work in at the start so i can focus on making the prose (or script, most of the time) the best it can be.
THAT BEING SAID, this is just the way i do it and i have like. a fic and a half published. im taking my sweet time bc im creatively burned out and this is for fun first and foremost. like i said. i am a Very Slow Writer.
i highly, highly recommend hitting up the ask boxes of writers like @/strangeswift, @/wiseatom, @/astrobei, or @/andiwriteordie. no guarantees on responses bc they are busy ppl with busy lives but i really do think theyre some of the best writers out here right now, and im not just saying that bc they're my friends. abby (strangeswift) and i have been each other's sounding board through a lot of projects and she's almost done with one of her first Big Fics, so its worth asking her about that.
i hope this helps! ah!!
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nebulacollege · 2 months ago
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A couple of short replies where I don’t have a lot to say. Sorry...
Anonymous asked:
Have they ever had a traumatic experience? Especially Edmund?
(big drama fan)
Apologies if this has already been asked.
It hasn’t, don’t worry, Anon!
And, ironically, they haven’t. They have nothing that could be considered a traumatic event. However, Edmund did have a negative experience that affected his life, but whether to consider it a straight-up trauma is up to the reader/player. Unfortunately, I can’t say more than that since it’s important for his character and is a major spoiler.
Anonymous asked:
Who likes sex the most?
I wanted to say Niall at first, but then I realised that they kinda all enjoy it a lot, they just haven’t tried it yet. Niall and Ned are at the top somewhere, then Edmund, and then Liam. Niall has already done it, so enjoys it as a leisure lol Ned hasn’t done it, but he seems like someone who’d be obsessed with it once all the stars align. Edmund is surprisingly horny under certain conditions, and Liam is the least interested one, but he can also get excited.
Anonymous asked:
A’ight, I’m gonna be real with you. Who’s got the fattest tits? Any chest hc?
Oof I wish to have headcanons for this! Maybe something will come to me while I’m writing this...
Ned’s tits are the biggest! Sorry, the fattest, smh. They’re also the hardest out of all of them, but they’re also toned and rather pleasant to touch. You can see the outline of his boobs a little even if he wears an oversized T-shirt.
Next one is Niall. His aren’t exactly that nice to touch, but they’re still fine and nicely defined. But he needs to wear tight clothes if we want to see their outline, otherwise they aren’t very visible. His nipples are pinkish because he’s a ginger.
Liam doesn’t really have anything interesting going on, but his nipples are surprisingly dark. You can see his boobs have some shape only if he’s topless.
Edmund is so flat he’s a board. His boobs are basically just skin on his rib cage... You can actually see it if you look closely enough. His nipples are cute and tiny and look pale.
Anonymous asked:
Daylight by David Kushner sounds a lot like all of Edmund’s routes - anon who submitted the crap-load of songs and wanted to add yet ANOTHER one
Thank you, I’ve added it to your list! <3 I’m sorry I haven’t talked about this idea sooner, back when you sent that ask it was much harder to imagine my boys for me. The lyrics are so hot wtf
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ticklystuff · 2 years ago
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hi i know i’m on hiatus but i need to vent bc it’s nearly 10 pm and i’ve been at work for 12+ hours dealing with an actual nutcase
Okay, so there was a mama goose that laid her eggs on the third floor balcony of one of the buildings at work and they hatched back in April and I have posted about them a few times. Since there are no resources on a third floor balcony for them, one woman started feeding them lettuce and grass clippings from her yard and then a couple other people, me included, started helping her feed them too. Everything was fine for the first month.
Eventually, the facilities manager caught on. For some reason, she believes they can fly (they cannot) and has posted signs saying to stop giving them food and water. They clearly cannot fly because they have their baby feathers, but this woman will not believe anyone that tells her. The woman that started feeding them initially got caught and had her third floor badge access revoked, so the rest of us have been smuggling food and water up there. It has been very stressful because facilities has been throwing food away that we’ve been storing, so we’ve resorted to hiding the food in different places, and they’ve been throwing the geese’s water bowls and will sometimes station security guards by the geese to prevent people from feeding them and then we will have to wait for the security guards to leave, which can be really late in the evening.
Today, my co-worker sent the facilities manager an email regarding the geese and potentially relocating them. The facilities manager calls her and tells her that they don’t need to be relocated because they can fly off on their own. My co-worker then asks “Well, what if you’re wrong and they can’t fly?” but the facilities manager just laughed and repeated that they can fly. 
I went up earlier to check on them and heard a loud noise coming from the geese area and initially thought some construction going on. When I get there, I see the facilities manager and three guys blasting music with a stereo to the balcony where the geese are. I go up to one of the guys and ask him what they’re doing and the guy is like “We’re trying to scare the geese away, but some of them seem like babies so they can’t fly” and I’m like no fucking shit. Facilities manager comes up to me and asks if I’m here to see the geese and I tell her no and that I was just stretching my legs and heard a loud noise. She then tells me “Well we’re having a party up here with the geese!” and I’m like “HA HAHAHA ROFLOLMAO XDDDDD” and then I leave. She is still up there trying to scare them away, but obviously they cannot leave. She is still blasting music at almost 10 pm and I am waiting for her to hopefully leave so I can give them food.
This other woman that has been feeding the geese goes up after I do and she sees the facilities manager. She goes up to her and starts having a conversation about the geese and she asks her are they going to be relocated and the facilities manager tells her no and that she’s gonna wait for them to fly. When the woman tells her that it takes about 8 weeks for them to learn to fly, the facilities manager asks her how she does she know these bird facts. The woman tells her that she just looked it up on the internet and the facilities manager says “Is everyone an internet doctor these days?” and it’s like bITCH YOU ARE LITERALLY STANDING IN THE RESEARCH BUILDING TALKING TO PEOPLE THAT DO RESEARCH FOR A LIVING WTF DO U MEAN BY THIS HAVE U NEVER GOOGLED BASIC SHIT BEFORE??????????
Honestly, yeah, you should not be feeding wildlife, but also, the facilities manager did nothing to help relocate them when they were born so they were probably going to starve up there if the initial feeder didn’t step in. I cannot for the life of me understand why she still refuses to relocate them
Anyway, still waiting for her to leave. I refuse to leave until I can feed them because they haven’t eaten all day and no one will be able to come in over the weekend to feed them because the heating/cooling system at work is being worked on, so they’re not allowing employees access this weekend and I wish to give them something in preparation for the long weekend. Wish me luck that I don’t get caught *sobs*
If I come back to dead geese on Monday, I’m going to rip the facilities manager to shreds *sigh*
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bununuu · 2 years ago
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i was correct about 3-pick voting actually physically hurting me, wtf
spoiler talk under the cut~
disclaimer that i watched half of this on silent while at work so these opinions may change tomorrow after i watch the ep over again.
zhang hao: p02 well deserved, and i hope he continues to do well. some people think he’s basically locked in at this point, but i’m not completely sure and i don’t want to take the risk tbh. i think he will shine in over me (how happy everyone was to have him T T pls keep the killing part), and he’s much too careful with his actions on camera to have any kind of scandal. both him and kuanjui imo have been really smart in that way, which is why i’m not super worried about the post-elimination over me storyline. if the rumors about the final over team are true, i just hope everything goes smoothly.
(random aside about hao’s personality - i actually love how much of a perfectionist/straight-a student he is, but only about some things. overachieving with the signal song test and always wanting the killing part, but being :| anytime something with sports comes up lmao. anyway i’m in love with him)
haobin continue to be fascinating to me. based on the survivor announcement you can tell how close they are, but i think they’re careful about how much/what they show even when they’re kind of being egged on by mnet. i got the vibe that having them at p01/02 was supposed to be more dramatic, but they were both very calm and measured lmao. truly a power couple, they’re so smart.
song storylines: supercharger and haruto crying was actually really, really depressing to see, i hope things improve the next episode.  tbh im confused as to what they’re going for with the say my name team. i was concerned having hanbin with so many of the top 9, but it seems like it’s turning into mattchu vs. hanbin which …idk. i don’t really vibe with matthew personally, but he doesn’t come across great in what they’ve shown so far. 
I hope we get some footage of goodbyes post-elimination because i need it to soothe my sadness :(((( yunseo :( wumiti :( cong :(
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venus-i-guess · 16 days ago
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Shit I’ve Been Thinking About:
Sooooo…. I forgot some stuffs, so now we got more shit to write about (It’s times like this where I wish I didn’t forget my phone in Doha so I can write in my notes app)
So more on those horns I forgot to add that the busses here have really funny sounds, somewhere between a circus clown nose and a trumpet (just look it up its a treat). Also just in general the horns here just sound different (at least if they’re a Marati Suzuki or another Indian Brand). They sound kinda like a mosquito and honestly it makes sense cuz damn mosquitoes are everywhere here in winter (not in summer tho its actually too hot for them lol. Also it rains a lot so they can’t really fly with water everywhere).
They also have these signs that says shit like “A fast drive might be your last drive” and “speed thrill but kill” (there are more that are written in Hindi, but I’m actually illiterate, cuz i have the Hindi of a 4 year old with anxiety) and I honestly don’t know how to feel about them. Like we have those back in the states, but idk how to feel about those either cuz like true but also what’s with the fuckin slogan? Idk hope it works at least a lil tho.
Also I forgot to say that apparently to refuel a CNG car you need to completely evacuate the car? Idk why tho, I mean my dad said its cuz it might ‘splode but idk how safe it is to be like 2 meters away from the car sized explosion. Also what about you know driving that shit with tiny explosions happening all the time in the car??? Safety is questionable but hey nothing’s blown up yet (maybe my dad was pullin shit out his ass idk).
Also there are so many motorcycles here. I just noticed that from when I saw a guy without a helmet, which dude you’re gonna get your hair wet wtf (it was raining also he was on the highway. Like dude how you not dead?)
Anyway that reminded me that apparently Google Maps has a whole mode for motorcycles, and I only know this because me, my dad, and aunt and uncle had to go to a small town for some legal shit (I guess they didn’t have the budget to make an office in the big city that was made in like 20-25 years or sumthin) And apparently the Uber guy used the Motorcycle path because we went in like the most pothole ridden dirt roads ever, and after the Uber back used actual fuckin roads, which is when we realized what the other dude did.
Oh and another dude tried using the did kind of the same thing, but it was because he used the service roads that are on the side of the big roads (It was somewhere between a Boulevard and a Highway in its design) Anyway, the service roads are basically little dirt roads that off the side of the main road that can go either way instead of the one way each side like on the main road (cuz its divided in the middle and U-turn areas are kinda infrequent) And this guy used it to go to the roundabout but then it only worked for motorcycles because it was just a little ditch at the end that motorcycles could use, so we had to slowly back up until the first merge back into the main road (it took like 10 minutes I think idk it felt like forever and this was last summer so its a lil fuzzy) Anyway tl;dr make sure to check if you’re using the right mode of transportation in Google Maps and don’t use the service roads please.
Additional thoughts I guess? (They don’t really connect to the ones from the post but I wanna talk about it)
Also it actually rained today and I remembered why I love the rain so much. Seriously why did it barely rain on my college campus I’m slightly pissed wtf. And no the rain during monsoon season in summer India doesn’t count cuz that shit lasts like 10 seconds a day (no stop it I know what you’re bout to say stfu) Also either way I can’t hear the rain patter on the roof of my dorm cuz I ain’t on the top floor (thank god cuz it would be a nightmare to do laundry and shit) But I love the patter of the rain on the top of my ceiling back home and in long car rides its great. Also the patter on this train is great too.
Oh ye I also just went on a sleeper train and omg it definitely was an experience. The instant I got on the train I got blasted with the stink from the bathroom omg it was HORRID, and I had to go on the top because my grandparents had to go on the bottom and I actually couldn’t fit on the middle bunk cuz its a lil smaller, and so now I’m stuck on the top bunk which feels like its got negative head room, but hey at least I don’t have to wear my shoes up here lol (at least there is one perk thank god) Also fuck the company that last minute rearranged all of our seats now my cousin and uncles/aunts are stuck in another carriage, and it took like an hour to figure everything out once we got in the train. Oh and the train got delayed like 5 hours (definitely not how I wanted to spend my Christmas Morning. Although I did forget that it was Christmas today sooo…. oop)
Anyway wooo time to go listen to the Ithaca Saga (if you don’t know Epic the Musical go look it up)
Also I just realized I’m missing one earbud like wtf I already lost my phone can’t y’all let me have anything nice???? (At least I have the other one I swear if I loose anything else I’m actually gonna scream)
(Oh yeah a guy called me ma’am today that was nice. I mean it was really dark and rainy and I had my huge ass hoodie on but a win is a win lol)
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25centsoda · 5 months ago
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Oooooo I have tips for you!! Originally wrote this as a bunch of replies but it makes more sense as a reblog haha.
Anyways so Supercharged Storytimes is a course on WebJunction (I think it's free to make an account? I used my work email tho so idk. Check it out tho, along with Niche Academy) from which you can get lots of good info on early literacy, including stuff from Every Child Ready To Read (look that up also). Basically: Talk, play, sing, read, and write with kids. The more background knowledge they have on the world the better (a kid at low reading level scores as well as a kid with a high level on a passage about soccer if the low-level kid knows a lot about soccer. Lots of reading is inference based on prior knowledge). Also check out the Reimagining School Readiness Toolkit (free to access): https://bayareadiscoverymuseum.org/resources/educator-resources/library-toolkit. The Toolkit gives you info on how to promote early math skills, which was so helpful to me b/c I didn't know wtf early math was or how to promote it.
I have been told to ignore reading levels because every kid learns differently and every school and publishing company seems to have their own reading level, which ?!?! Why. So basically I direct kids to the beginning reader/I Can Read books if they're learning to read independently, then chapter books (like Magic Tree House), then juvenile fiction (like Harry Potter, PJO, etc). If they can't yet read at all, picture books - and the more rhymes, alphabet, and shapes (learning shapes helps with letter recognition) the better. Learning animal sounds helps them learn/recognize letter sounds. Pointing out signs and info on packaging shows them that print has meaning (being in a print-rich environment is important - lots of books in the house, point out signs, packaging, etc. The more practice with and exposure to reading a kid can get the better). Scribbling is pre-writing. Neglect not the nonfiction books because again, background knowledge is very very helpful with comprehension. We have phonics books that I direct patrons to for phonics info, they’re in our beginning reader section.
The Five Practices and the Early Literacy Components from Every Child Ready To Read: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/531bd3f2e4b0a09d95833bfc/t/568c4ba3bfe87399730708f2/1452034979939/elcomppracchart.pdf (from the webpage: http://everychildreadytoread.org/resources/)
Source: am a children's library clerk
being a children's librarian is fun because you get to look forward to not having to answer questions about the printer or the mysteries of google drive like adult services does, but then you get asked questions about phonics and AR reading levels and you realize that there are mysteries the depths of which you can never fathom but you have to try because there is a very stressed parent right in front of you
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makeste · 3 years ago
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BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A
Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.
Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.
lol what
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I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass
also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go
IIDA ANGST
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Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida
meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”
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“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still
“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT
yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue
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okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol
LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL
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“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then
oh, ouch
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he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan
by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree
and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez
anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol
OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??
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FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent
so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient
mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!
FUCK YEAH
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okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?
in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,
ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no
oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!
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poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol
omg. well that answers that
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so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own
BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR
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and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible
(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.
and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)
by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol
WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI
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YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR
okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward
dskfjfkk
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“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”
actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol
(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)
whoa lol wtf
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MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT
-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK
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“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao
and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices
poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg
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“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS
FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU
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THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami
okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces
um excuse me this is fucking awesome
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wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk
TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY
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WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE
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and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji
KAMINARI OMFG
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it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice
aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself
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do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude
oh shit the mask!!
-- oh shit the feels
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o(TヘTo)
fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...
and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance
(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.
incidentally, as @class1akids​ pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)
anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!
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“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal
p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”
PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked
ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last
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okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago
but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once
and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama
and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED
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clowntiggles · 3 years ago
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AA OMG I LOVE UR SMILING FRIENDS T WORD ART!! <33 also ur SO RIGHT they gotta make people smile somehow!! do you have any headcannons? i have been starved for sf tickle content <\3
AAA THANK YOU! :D And as a matter of fact, I do.
These are just Pim and Charlie because I’m obsessed but if the good people of tumblr want hcs for other characters I could definitely make them.
Pim has huge switch energy. He enjoys all sides of the activity. It makes him smile, and it makes other people smile!
He’ll attack Charlie on the regular to get him to drop his sardonic attitude for two seconds. After all, he’ll argue, he’s just doing his job. If he can’t make his best friend smile, what’s even the point?
Man’s at stomach height which means he’s in the perfect position to stick his hands or even head under his friend’s hoodie and go nuts. Rip yello man.
He knows everyone’s weak points. He’s nothing if not persistent.
No he definitely doesn’t antagonize people so that they want to get him back, why would you accuse him of such a thing?
Charlie isn’t really into it as a general concept but Pim’s an exception.
He rarely strikes first but he will strike back. He did not start the war but he will end it.
Charlie almost always tries to not smile to avoid giving Pim the satisfaction. He always fails. Pim’s tiny hands are always more devastating than he remembers. Little does he know that having to work for a reaction only gives greater satisfaction (and gives Pim an even better understanding of exactly what to do to drive Charlie absolutely insane).
He snorts an ungodly amount when he laughs and Pim lives for it.
Charlie’s hands aren’t huge but they’re big enough compared to Pim that it can be a little overwhelming.
All of Charlie is much bigger than Pim so once he gets a good hold it’s basically over for the small critter. Like, wtf is he gonna do.
Pim and Charlie have opposite teasing techniques. Charlie is blunt and sarcastic, even bordering on mockery (there’s always a sense of lightheartedness to it, of course), while Pim tends much more towards baby talk and fawning.
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shotorozu · 4 years ago
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helloo im not rlly sure if ur pure filipino or sumth, but can i req todork,baku and mido w a filipino/a s/o who cant stop swearing, like sometimes they’re sad they go “putangina..” or if they’re mad “PUTANGINA” AHAHAFAGDGHD TY 💕💕
filipino s/o that can’t stop swearing
character(s) : todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku (bnha)
legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned
headcanon type : crack (x reader)
note(s) : NWNDNWKS i’m sorry that i didn’t write this right away i was occupied with school work >:T anyways, i’m half but i’m a lot more in touch with my filipino side 🧍 i haven’t been to canada in like,, 7 years. also, i do love swearing in filipino— but if my mom heard me say it, she’d get the broom stick 🧎‍♂️
»»————- ♡ ————-««
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todoroki shouto
doesn’t know what you’re saying, but it sounds aggressive
he’s really interested in filipino though, especially with words that sound like “nagpagkakakakaka” not actually a real word but,, there’s a lot of words that sound like that
tries not to accidentally scare you, but when he does— he can’t help but be captivated by the way you immediately switch back to your native language
“tANGINA— oh, it’s just you shouto! you scared me”
and he’s just there like 🧍 i don’t know what that means, but it does sound attractive
also— he’d probably want you to teach him filipino, so that he could trash talk endeavor without him understanding.
“gusto ko sampalin yung tatay mo, shou” basically— ‘i want to hit your father’s face’
“oo syempre naman, mukha siyang panget” ‘of course— he looks ugly asf 😩🤌‼️’
and everyone around you is like 🤠❓❓❓ wtf are they saying
as much as shouto loves hearing you use your native language, he eventually makes a note to stop you when you start swearing especially in class
you know, just in case people DO know what those words mean 💀
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bakugou katsuki
he finds it so funny when you get so mad, to the point you switch back to your native language
at first, he really didn’t know wtf you were saying— when you guys fight, and when you switch back to filipino, he gets so pressed and for what 💀
“speak in a language i can understand dumbass!”
but in reality— this is the only way you can intimidate katsuki, it gives him flashbacks of when his mom was scolding him 💀
not that he THINKS you’re his mom, but more like the anger levels are in the same wave length. he’d know that shit was going down when you started swearing in filipino
he’d know when to back down, and when people make you mad— he can only stare, shaking his head
“told you, you made them MAD MAD.”
teach him how to swear in filipino, and he’ll never swear in english/japanese ever again. it adds lots of spice when you swear in filipino
“tangina mo, icyhot.” (basically, fuck your mother)
“jusq— don’t say that to him.”
“guSTo Mo sApAkAn? HAh?”
in short, he finds it so entertaining when you start mouthing off in filipino, but he also knows when he should back off whenever you start
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midoriya izuku
gets really scared when he first heard you mouth off in filipino. the unknown is scary after all.
i mean,, he doesn’t understand it yet, and by your tone, you’re angry! he just doesn’t know why you’re angry though.
he tenses up when he finds out that you’re actually swearing 🧎‍♂️
i feel like he learned a bit of filipino, just for you obviously— but he only learned the basics
so when he hears you fuming with anger, mouthing off in your native tongue— he scrabbles to fix everything
“c’mon everyone! they’re mad, we don’t want them to get angrier”
you taught him how to swear in filipino, but he says it at the most random times— he’s not even angry 90% of the time
oh, and he almost said it infront of your very filipino family 💀 rip.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!
i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby
do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission
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writingssummit · 4 years ago
Text
𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 !
dancing headcannons !
content: fluff, that’s really it lol 
characters: sugawara, terushima, tendou, yamaguchi, oikawa.
a/n: not me listening to a haikyuu playlist and getting inspo from it- totally didn’t stay up all night to finish season 3 either wha t ? idk what you’re talking about.
i noticed my bnha post didn’t do so well, so i’ll stick with the haikyuu guys (and girls maybe? ooo) for now <3 hope you enjoy some silly fluff with them !
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sugawara !
2nd most wholesome on this list.
Suga and you are just cleaning up the gym after practice one day.
You’re not exactly glad to be doing it, but you had offered to help your boyfriend out earlier,so there was no turning back now.
You had decided to play some music at some point, opting for an upbeat playlist to help you.
With motivation, of course! Upbeat music got you in that mood. Plus, the sound was cool inside the gym.
You hear Sugawara humming along every so often, the way you two moved around each other as you cleaned was almost like it’s own kind of dance, and you couldn’t help but smile.
“Sugar, come here.”
He takes your hands in his, pulling you away from the task at hand all of a sudden
You protest a little, but you give in and just stay put.
He’s grinning at you, tugging you a little closer.
“What’s this?” You cock an eyebrow at him.
“Just a little dance, c’mon! The clean up can wait a bit longer. Your face will get wrinkles with how much you’ve been pouting.”
Okay backhanded remark aside, you couldn’t just say no
You laugh as he sways back an forth with you to the beat, occasionally stepping on each other.
“Guess we both have two left feet, Y/N.” He jokes, spinning you around as the song changed to a slower one.
Any dances with him are just lighthearted and fun, neither of you really minding the fact that it was so offbeat.
Get dance lessons smh 
He’d add in twirls here and there
Eventually you’d settle down from all the laughs and goofing off and just sway back and forth slowly, you head resting on his chest, his hands on your waist.
Please omg I want this :’)
You guys get so caught up in it that somebody ends up coming back and then catching you both (yes, it was daichi, and yes he left awkwardly).
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terushima !
This mans tries to be suave when he dances
You aren’t fooling anybody okay
stick with the sprinkler or something -
If anything, his dancing can be described as chaotic and random.
Sure, he has some moves but sir you aren’t michael jackson or something- 
One night in particular though, it’s a bit different. 
He kept bugging you to check something out with him that night, and so you just agreed instead of arguing about it at 2am.
He shows up at your window and he climbs inside your room.
Yes, yes he did and I do not regret that 
“Y/N! Check it out!”
You have to shush him because wtf it’s 3AM SIR
He’s quick to apologize, and just shoves one of the earbuds to his phone at you, and you of course pop it into your ear
And then you’re being pulled close and away gently, and his tongue is sticking out in slight concentration. cute :’)
i honestly forgot what this was called so uh my bad but it’s really fun trust me
“Somebody’s been practicing.” Tease him, please LOL
“It’s fun, right??”
So he CAN dance, if he actually tries. B)
Yeah don’t forget that he literally snuck into your house, because I sure haven’t
Your parents woke up not soon after you both started to laugh and giggle, but you didn’t hear the footsteps because you both were to wrapped up in the music and each other
Let’s just say he was banned from the house for a month or so 
Worth it though
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tendou !
At this point it’s common knowledge that he breaks out into little dances randomly 
He isn’t even confined to any actual type of dance, he just goes for whatever he feels like doing in the moment, whatever feels right
So whenever you dance with him, it’s always really entertaining to watch him
But
He’ll tug you into a dance literally anywhere without a care in the world.
Which is cute omg, but social anxiety could never
This time just happened to be on the sidewalk, because there was a musician, and in Tendou’s words; “We can’t just let their music go to waste~”
So yeah, he’s dancing with you on the sidewalk in front of literal strangers and you’re embarrassed to say the least dw i would be too T^T
Like sir please why here
He’s reassuring you over and over that you’re just fine, let the people stare, etc etc. After all, you’re just having fun together, and that’s no crime
True, y’all could be robbing the pet store of hamsters if you really wanted to. yes i imagine he would do that and I’ll say it again smh
You end up loosening up eventually, he was just too happy and c’mon, this is Tendou. :’)
Y’all may have started a public dance floor
And it’s awesome as hell when you think about it
He twirls you dramatically, waving his free hand around as he hummed along to the song.
“Y/N, see what happens when you have just a liiiittle bit of fun? Hm~?”
Okay fine you see his point there
Literally sounds so fun to do this, so he gets 100/10 
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yamaguchi !
Here’s the most wholesome one imo. unless that was tendou, idk-
Yams is so sweet with you, to the way he holds your hand, how he talks to you, all of it.
Dancing with you is no exception here.
He and you were sitting in the living room, all snuggled up on the couch together because it was a rainy day. 
Rainy days were always so calm and nice with him, just watching tv or napping together.
Yams asked you if you wanted to dance this time, rather bashfully though
And then you had an amazing idea
“What if we did it outside? Like in the movies?”
“H-Huh?”
Baby is blushing :’)
But he’s totally up for the idea, he’s nodding and agreeing right away.
Which is how you guys ended up outside in the pouring rain. 
You both were not prepared for the feeling of wet clothes sticking to your skin, it was mildly uncomfortable to say the least-
But you guys were just barefoot on the driveway and you both were holding each other close, just enjoying being there together that it kind of outweighed the initial discomfort
You settled for gentle, slow swying as your head rested against him, his hand reaching up to stroke your cheek every once and awhile
Yes his head is resting on top of yours, or at least his chin is resting on your shoulder
He makes a joke about how it’s weird to dance with no music
And then you end up just humming together and making your own. :’)
By the time you guys are done, you both vow to do it again, it was actually really calming
But of course y’all are soaking wet so it’s dry off time
Expect many cuddles after :D
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oikawa !
Okay as much as he’s not my favorite of all time
I can appreciate the idea that he’d be the most knowledgeable dancer on this list
Like mans can serve and set like nobody’s business
But he can also dance.
He’s honestly proud of his dance skills, and takes it upon himself to teach you.
He’s a a bad teacher tho -
You guys are at your house during a holiday with your family, and he of course said his present to you this year is to teach you how to dance
Your family finds it funny because they know you can’t dance for your life.
But they’re egging Oikawa on
“Please no, end my suffering”
“So dramatic, tsk tsk. C’mon, Y/N-chan, it’ll be fun! I’m a great teacher.”
No you aren’t but go off LMAO
The first 15 minutes is awkward because you literally don’t know where to put your feet or hands.
Oikawa is smirking at you, because he finds it adorable 
After a bit of teaching you have some of it down, so now it’s just you both waltzing around the living room, trying not to bump into furniture
Your family is clapping and hooting because that’s what parents do apparently
You smack his arm lightly when he leans down to peck at your jaw real quick
Sir please
He gets a A+ for actually knowing an actual dance dance, but a B because
I know he would suck at teaching.
thanks for reading this ! i hope these were decent, i had fun writing tendou’s and suga’s, it gave me serotonin LOL - 
asks/requests are open ! check yay’s and nay’s in basics for this blog !
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bihansthot · 3 years ago
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i loved your fic veiled world of the lin kuei, i was wondering if you’d be be able to go more in depth with your hc of concubines. stuff like hierarchy within the lin kuei and the brothel itself, how long is a concubine expected to serve for like are they kicked out at a certain age? and anything else you can think of really :) love your work 💖💖💖
Thank you so much for the kind words love! I really love this story too, but it’s been an awfully long time since I wrote it so I really have to think about this lol As far as the hierarchy is concerned there are two, one within the Lin Kuei itself and one within the brothel. The Lin Kuei’s elite warriors (like Sub-Zero, Hydro, the named ones, etc.) are the ones who get first pick and preferences of the girls, but obviously, if the Grandmaster has his sights on the same girl as like Bi-Han, Bi-Han would have to defer to the Grandmaster. It doesn’t really come up often though since the Grandmaster basically has his own harem within the brothel of girls, some who have been with him for years and years.
Within the brothel itself, most of the girls come from poor families who can’t afford basic necessities so they sell their girls to the Lin Kuei at a young age, who are then usually trained in different art forms to learn how to please their new masters. Not everything within the brothel is just sex, there’s an art to it and often accompanied by singing and dancing or even drinking games before the actual sex happens. Obviously, the youngest girls are the bottom barrel and have to cater to their ‘older sisters’ needs and wants, from there it goes to the young women who actually service the men, to the older women to the Madame who’s in charge of the brothel. It’s very much all based on seniority or who visits them the most often, for example, a younger girl who was one of the Grandmaster’s favored would receive preference over one of the senior women despite the age difference. Or someone like the main character of my story who becomes Sub-Zero’s woman would get preferential treatment over the other women who weren’t with the Lin Kuei’s number one assassin. It’s very much a it matters who you’re sleeping with type of society within the brothel.
The concubines are expected to serve until their services are no longer desirable, for some that could be as early as their mid-30s and others until they’re well into their 50s, it all depends on what kind of name she’s managed to make for herself. Like I mentioned some of the Grandmaster’s women have been with him for decades and they keep their place in the brothel due to the patronage of the Grandmaster. When a concubine’s services are no longer desired though she has two real options, the first is to be able to live off what presents and gifts she’s amassed during her tenure and remain in the Yonghegong (literally the Palace of Eternal Harmony) she can barter and trade he goods with the Madame for her room as well as food and clothes. If she wasn’t successful enough she’ll have to spend the rest of her days as one of the palace maids, there’s no leaving the Lin Kuei after all. Very, very rarely a concubine may be lucky enough to marry one of her lovers, if that happens they are allowed to leave the Yonghegong and live in one of the small, sparse houses within the confines of the temple and enjoy their life with their significant other.
Life within the brothel is very similar in general to just live in the imperial harems of imperial China. So, if you ever want to explore a little more about what that world is like I’d recommend watching Empresses in the Palace, it’s on Amazon Prime. Empresses in the Palace and The Princess Weiyoung (Netflix), as well as Memoirs of a Geisha, were kind of my inspiration for this whole brothel world within the Lin Kuei. I hope my rambling answered your questions lovely! Thanks for asking! Lastly here's a link to the fic in question in case anyone is like Sol wtf are you talking about lol The Veiled World of the Lin Kuei you should read it if you haven't already, it's one of my faves.
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transsexualhamlet · 4 years ago
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96 was actually good not clickbait?????
Ok time for the monthly chapter recap for y’all that don’t actually wanna read it
Ok so reminder that 95 was awful and everything that happened was wack, this is still kind of wack but it makes up for 95 by being fucking hilarious in every way plus having some important shit and I think Kagami probably wants to wait it out to 100 before telling us what the hell is going on
Of course, it’s just another Yu squad chapter except now we have Krul with them going like “oh my god these fucking idiots. We also have flashbacks to both Yu and Guren four years ago (which is great as usual) and the never-before-seen BABY VAMPIRE MIKA WITH A S W O R D AAAA and then M I K A Y U U  C O N F I R M E D ????
This is the entire reason i wrote mika’s tragic emo backstory so i’m sad now because kagami actually did it better for fucking once
So first off, we start with Mitsu and Shinoa drunk-attacking the queen, and ending up fucking throwing up on her hands, so she yeets out of there, takes a shower, and steals some random clothes so SHE LOOKS LIKE SO CUTE OMG WTF SHE’S LIKE A C H I L D
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DANGER DO NOT TOUCH EXCUSE ME MAAM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU
So basically she’s like “hey uh kids wtf is up with you” and yu tells them she wants to help save mika (which it’s still annoying that they’re not being serious about it really but how could you be when she’s dressed like that)
Yu introduces Krul as “asuramaru’s baby sister” and when krul is like “I AM NOT AN INFANT” Yu says he thinks Krul is t h r e e  y e a r s  o l d, and then she corrects him to say “ashera tepes” and he’s like “asura tapes????” love that for him
then we deal with the fact that yoichi, mitsuba, and shinoa are drunk as fuck and lying on the floor half dead
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So Kimizuki and Yu’s solution to that problem? Fucking pick them up. Bride carry them. Himbos. Oh my god
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YU HAS BOTH GIRLS ON HIS SHOULDERS WHAT A FUCKING CHAD
And kimizuki just there like -_- *carries yoichi*
So once they get to a room that’s not covered in vomit they sit down and try to listen to the queen but yu’s still like fucking insane so he’s not acting well
krul asks where he learned his manners and he’s like “that’s a good question probably guren” we get a few pages of Yu trying to fight with Guren, which Krul thinks is fucking stupid and goes “If I raised you all you’d be way better!” and like literally flashes back to teaching Mika to swordfight, which is like, actually wonderful first confirming
-Krul sees Mika as someone she Raised (she is his mom lmao)
-Mika’s backstory!!!! I found it actually very valid because it said that Mika never cried out or admitted anything hurt when she hit him, even though he was so tiny, that he was so determined to get strong for yu, and kagami o u c h??????
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LOOKIT HIM
WITH HIS LIDDOL
TEEF
I CAN’T
So what Krul says is that she wants Yu to Really Sell the fact that he wants to save mika so what yu does is he finally starts to show some real emotion, I still would have liked,,, a lot more, kagami, like, dude, his boyfriend just fucken exploded, but still it was way better than last time???
He literally kneels down on the ground and begs, which is, ouch
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“His life is more important to me than my own.”
When Krul sees that, she looks convinced, and she says something that just,,, seems,,, important.
Like
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“Ah yes, he has it just as badly. I see. Is this why?” 
I
What
Obviously this isn’t referring to her because she literally just compared her relationship with mika to that of yu and guren’s but that must mean then
She’s talking about Mika. Mika’s feelings for Yu. And she’s seeing right in front of her that Yu feels just as strongly. That’s. Really romantic and really can’t be explained off as platonic because you don’t have Friendship “badly”. it’s clearly a romantic tone, and taking ch. 90 into consideration we might finally actually be getting somewhere??? Cause. Like. 
That’s not even really something that can be explained away with translation? because if you can change “it’s just longing” to “it’s just your garden variety idolization” what the hell must have been in the raws for this, either it is truly this gay or in fact, even gayer
So anyway after that she goes on to say “Is this why you chose to possess him?” to asuramaru which kind of throws us off but still
So she asks the squad to raise their hands if they have black demons
yu takes that, literally
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Yu be like 
i throw my hands up in the air sometimes
i just,,,
Yeah so what she says is that everyone’s after them and asks what their goal/side is to which they respond “wat” so she’s like *d e e p  s i g h* ALRIGHT I’M GIVING YOU FUCKERS A PURPOSE AND MY PLAN BEGINS WITH THIS WEIRDO MAHIRU EIGHT YEARS AGO to which shinoa raises her eyebrows and that’s where the chapter ends
all in all
FUCKING BALLER BUT I REALLY WANNA KNOW WHAT’S UP NOW
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dawniebb · 5 years ago
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About Kipo's parents and Scarlamagne
Holy shit, this season was a wild ride and I loved ✨ every second ✨ of it. The gayness. The narrative. The character development. The ✨ s o u n d t r a c k ✨
However, I'm making this post because I wanted to talk about something that really caught my attention, and that is the whole Kipo's parents and Scarlamagne's storyline... Which honestly is good shit. So much potential and agshsgs
First of all, I feel like having a story where the main character doesn't have shitty parents is awesome. I come from a kinda abusive family dynamic so I really don't wish that to anybody lmao and I know that sometimes those situations give protagonists some depth but, at least for me, Kipo is a very interesting character to watch. She's just so. Fucking. Wholesome and I think it's great to have a protagonist as upbeat and positive as her. But anyway
Song and Lio are excellent parents, that's for sure. I know Song hasn't spent that much time with Kipo, but we are shown that she loves and cares for her (I love the usage of the "show don't tell" rule holy shit) and Lio is such a wonderful dad and that's refreshing 💖💖💖💖
But the thing is that I believe that being flawed is what makes them so great and interesting and worth of character development.
Because, like I said, I love them.
But that doesn't change the fact I'm utterly disappointed on them making their daughter an experiment lmao you *don't* do that. She's not a toy. She's a living being. I know they wanted a baby and I know they were pretty excited about having one... But that doesn't change the fact they were willing to put the child they willingly decided to have at such risk. Y'know...
Idk
I know I'm a whiny bitch but that didn't seem right to me.
Like I said, I find them really flawed, which leads me to the next point.
Scarlamagne.
One thing that makes Kipo great is its commentary undertones. And I might be wrong (I probably am but this is just my take on this whole situation. Hence, my opinion) but I feel lile this tried to transmit a message about adoption.
So the one thing that made Scarlamagne go unhinged was the fact they chose Kipo over him, which at first might come off as a way to "manipulate" the audience or create this self-pity atmosphere; but the thing is that he calls Kipo his little sister, which means he DID consider Song and Lio his parents. But, evidently, he wasn't his biological son.
Heck, they weren't even the same species.
But that doesn't change the fact they took him under their wing; they promised love and protection. They were basically all he had in a world where he was meant to be hurt as many times as necessary in the name of science. They were the parents of a living being that although was not human did have the same mental capacities as them. He was a monkey with the mind of a human. And they were his parents. They chose to be his parents despite Scarlamagne... Hugo, not being their biological son.
And then came Kipo, the biological daughter.
One important thing to take into account when adopting a child is that you have to be mature enough to love them as your own. That's just common sense. And if you happen to have a biological child after the one you adopted (or viceversa) you can't just make distinctions among them/put a line between them. It's not "the adopted one and the one that's mine". They're both yours. You're their parent. YOU decided to adopt one and give birth to the other one. They both deserve the same amount of love, attention and protection.
And it's like
Song and Lio had two children and they chose the biological one over the one they took under their wing.
Hugo is a monkey, you might say
And yes. He is. But he has the mind of a person. He thinks and acts like a person because he's been altered to do so.
When Kipo was born, his parents chose her from minute one; they didn't want to take him away from the people who were hurting him because they had to wait until the baby was born (understandable, but try to think of that situation with a child's brain); they gave her his blanket. And when it all went to shit, they chose her.
And this sent a... Pretty aggressive message, because they had chosen her before. Hugo knew that if Kipo had been the one trapped inside they would've shaken the goddamn Earth to get her out. Because she was "theirs". She had been in Song's womb and that seemed to have given her the right to receive kind of special treatment
That is, they chose Kipo's life over his' even though they were both their children.
And that's fucked up if you think about it. I know they're sorry and everything but the damage is already done and the only thing they can do is learn from it and fix the mess :3
And you know... Something that really caught my attention is how complex Scarlamagne's mindset is.
Even with everything that happened, he doesn't blame Kipo.
He knows she didn't ask to be born. He knows choosing her was their parents' choice. She didn't ask to be chosen over him.
She's just... There.
She's his sister. She's a bundle of joy and an extremely understanding person and he's fond of her.
She didn't ask for things to be that way. Song and Lio did. Like, shit, they even chose to turn her half-mute wtf agsjsva
And that's what makes Scarlamagne so complex and fascinating.
Honestly, I'm eager see what they plan for him.
Y'all should watch Kipo
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janiedean · 3 years ago
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I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.
me: reads this ask
me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but
okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.
disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years
in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck
when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show
now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it
that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big
now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;
I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion
now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff
this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun
anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened
god j*nerys happened
aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN
and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah
this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no
(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)
I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo
there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I
there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried
tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*
so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents
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welcometowcwmondaynitro · 3 years ago
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WCW Monday Nitro 09/09/1996
Shit be exploding, so you know what time it is.
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Yes sir.
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Once again we are not given a location this week, which generally means the town is too small-time for the big shots at WCW to even consider giving a shout out to. My research tells me this broadcast comes from the Columbus Civic Centre in Columbus, Georgia.  
As always we are introduced to our first hour announce team, Schiavone and Zbyszko.
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Tony is looking quite smart this evening. Larry as expected has a horrific multcoloured abomination on underneath his jacket. It’s basically his gimmick a this point so whatever. 
They talk about how the balance of power has shifted to the nWo and Larry says Giant is “the biggest traitor since Benedict Arnold”, nice ancient reference there, Larry. We get a recap of last week’s awesome show-ending brawl. 
Once they’re done wrapping this up, Goldberg’s music plays. What? I check my file - yes, definitely 9th September 1996. Has Goldberg time travelled back to 1996 and changed history by debuting early?
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Well, either that is one hell of a disguise or no, actually Goldberg’s theme music was first used by this Japanese guy called Pat Tanaka. It’s really weird seeing this random fella walk out to Goldberg’s music. The crowd boo mildly - I guess just because he’s Japanese? I don’t remember there being any storyline reason to boo him, anyway. 
Pat’s opponent is... this.
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Looks like a mascot from a early/mid-90s video game brought to life. If this is Super Calo then I am curious as to what regular Calo is like. I am unsure as to what makes this version ‘Super’, but maybe we’ll find out in the upcoming match. Mike Tenay joins the announce crew because it is Calo’s debut and Tenay is the only one likely to know anything about him.
Pat Tanaka vs Super Calo
I was kind of hoping Tanaka would start the match with a spear and then jackhammer Calo into oblivion, but no such luck. 
As one would anticipate from a man dressed like a stereotypical kung-fu master in an 80s movie, Tanaka starts the match off with some kicks.
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Calo jumps around pointlessly and then gets kicked in the face. Bants.
Tenay tells us Calo’s name and look comes from the “top rap group” in Mexico. He does not name this group. Confusingly wikipedia claims Calo is named after a Mexican rock group with the same name, but his image is meant to convey a rapper. So, just... what? Also what rapper has ever looked like Super Calo? In Mexico is that how rappers dress? 
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Well anyway this odd fellow somersaults over the ropes onto Tanaka outside of the ring. 
The screen then cuts to this.
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 Then we’re back to the match. OK then. 
Tanaka hits Calo with a powerbomb, which leads to Tony talking about him being “so schooled in the martial arts”. Yes, because we all know that classic martial arts move the powerbomb. Often followed by a leg drop and a scorpion deathlock. 
The ending to this match is beyond ridiculous. 
First, Tanaka puts Calo onto the top turnbuckle.
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Neither man seems to know what is meant to happen next, so they awkwardly wrap their arms around each other.
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Tanaka then lifts Calo up like he’s going for an inverse piledriver and falls backwards.
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Apparently he knocks himself out, gets pinned, and loses.
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What an idiot.
Super Calo defeats Pat Tanaka via Pinfall.
Nothing too super about our friend Calo in this one I’m afraid. His victory came largely because Tanaka is a super dunce.
We got some lads in the front row who are big fans of the classic moustache.
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They seem quite pleased that Calo emerged victorious.
Just under seven minutes in and we throw back to Mean Gene in the locker room with Rick Steiner. This should be good.
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Shirts hanging out of the lockers behind them, as you do. 
Gene asks Rick Steiner about Nick Patrick’s questionable officiating - referring to the incident last week where Luger was disqualified in seconds for basically nothing. Rick says that he had Luger, and Gene saw it. Total bullshit as the match had barely started, and Gene does point that out. 
Luger walks into the frame as we see last week’s replay. Rick is continually going on about how he was going to win, sounding like a mentally challenged three year old. On the other hand this is a guy who also genuinely thinks he’s a dog, so... I should probably be impressed that he is able to form words and put them into a somewhat coherent structure.
Gene says that Steiner is “a little confused” in the understatement of the century, 
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Luger tells Rick that he’s “a great tag team wrestler” but he feels like he has the edge in a singles environment. Rick continues to fail to understand basic english and keeps repeating “I can beat you, ask Sting” and then starts calling for Sting.
Gene then ushers Rick away like an unruly child as Luger walks off as well. Gene says that Luger was alluding that Rick “doesn’t have it upstairs”, pointing to his head. Wow, what a dick. Luger didn’t say anything like that. All he implied was that he was a better singles wrestler than Rick. Not sure where Gene has gotten his interpretation from, but my guess is he just wants to stir the pot as usual.
Next it’s nWo announcement time.
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Just the usual t-shirt ad with Nash saying “all proceeds go towards the Ric Flair retirement fund”. Joke’s on him, that fund must have accrued some serious cash before it was finally paid out.
We’re back and...
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Somebody buy these poor kids some real nWo t-shirts. 
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Where did these people come from? Did they decide to stop by Nitro after a corporate dinner or something? 
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Are these pilots in the audience as well? Wtf? Why are all these people coming to the show dressed in their work clothes? Is this a common thing in the States?
Oh, hey, guess what - Glacier debuted. I would say “remember all that hype” but if you’ve been reading this sad collection of nostalgic drivel then you will indeed remember the many Glacier adverts that have been on every Nitro broadcast since May or so. We’re now in September and Glacier finally had his first match... on WCW Pro.
Seriously.
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WCW Pro is like... Sunday Night Heat or Velocity in WWE terms. It’s below WCW Saturday Night for fuck’s sake.  Tony calls it “one of the most eagerly anticipated debuts ever” - which is why he made his first appearance on WCW FUCKING PRO. Oh WCW, what are you like?
Larry says Glacier will be “a force to be reckoned with”, which, spoiler alert. turns out to be the opposite.
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  Oh good, these two walking charisma vacuums.
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And these two lumbering idiots. WCW, the best wrestling on the planet. How could WWF in 1996 find no way to entice people away from Pat Tanaka vs Super Calo and The AFC vs the Nasty Boys? Seriously. It isn’t that difficult. 
The AFC do their usual schtick of singing the Canadian national anthem badly and the crowd get angry because ‘Murica fuck yeah and whatever. The Nasty Boys say “fuck this” and attack the AFC after about 10 seconds of this bullshit, getting the match started.
The Amazing French Canadians Vs The Nasty Boys
You don’t care about this match. I don’t care about this match. Let’s just skip to the end.
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Knobbs whacks the eyepatch guy with the flag the AFC brought out. Saggs pins for the win. 
The Nasty Boys defeat The Amazing French Canadians via Pinfall.
Mean Gene comes scurrying out to interview the Nastys, for some reason.
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Saggs says everybody has been pointing the finger at the Nasty Boys, accusing them of being with the nWo (can’t imagine anybody really cares but OK, sure). Saggs says the Nasty’s are only worried about the tag titles which are in WCW, ergo they aren’t interested in joining the nWo. Does he not realise that faction affiliation is irrelevent as far as challenging for belts is concerned? I mean, Hogan is literally WCW Heavyweight champion at this point in time. 
Knobbs says that the Nasty’s don’t care about the nWo, they’re in WCW and they’re coming for Harlem Heat to take the tag team titles. Short and to the point, which is fine by me, even if the Nasty’s appear to be under the mistaken impression- that joining the nWo would invalidate them from challenging for the tag titles. 
We’re back from a commercial break to find Scott Norton and Sgt Craig Pittman in the ring.
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Sgt Craig Pittman Vs Scott Norton
The commentators bill this as a “hold versus hold” match and I’m not sure what this means, as I was under the impression every match is hold versus hold. But whatever. 
After some back and forth Pittman decides that it’s time to ram his head into Norton’s sternum. 
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It looks pretty painful and not especially effective, but Pittman enjoys it so much he does it again. 
They head to the outside of the ring. Norton gets whipped against the guardrail, the entirety of which moves upon impact, but then Norton regains control by slamming Pittman’s shoulder into the ring post. 
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Norton locks in the armbar but the Sarge will not give up. Long gets onto the ring apron to beg Pittman to give in, but he won’t. WCW, for reasons beyond my understanding, is very careful about protecting Sgt. Craig Pittman. He never gets pushed, as far as I remember, but this man WILL NOT QUIT.
Then... 
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Ice Train wanders out wearing this abomination. Seriously - what the fuck? It’s like a demin vest with a backpack built in. It’s something you would expect to see an eight-year old girl in the mid-90s wearing over the top of a t-shirt or something. What clothing brand figured that this design was suitable for huge, beefy dudes? I don’t know, but they clearly have a customer in Ice Train.
Train throws in the towel for Pittman.  
Scott Norton defeats Sgt. Craig Pittman via Forfeit. 
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He enters the ring and stares down at Norton, who is looking at Train’s vest top and moobs like “dafuq?”
The two former amigos have a staredown which doesn’t lead anywhere. 
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Pepboys Power Pin of the Week is a submission. Go figure.
We head to the locker room where Gene-o is with Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Lex Luger.
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Three of these men are dressed appropriately. The other is Lex Luger.
Apparently Sting is supposed to be a part of this interview as well but is nowhere to be found. Luger assures Flair & Arn that Sting is in the building, but the Horsemen are having none of it and are concerned that Sting doesn’t have his head in the game. Flair starts going crazy and practically flings himself into an alternate dimension with his erratic movements.
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Like a jet propeller is being put directly in front of his face.
Anyway eventually these two sad sacks come lumbering in...
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Mongo looks like he’s about to explode, whilst Benoit as usual appears barely awake. Mongo yells about not being able to count on Luger and Sting. Luger reiterates that Sting is in the building somewhere, he’s just not around for the interview. The Horsemen do seem overly paranoid here - how hard would it be to track Sting down and talk to him if they are this pissed off? 
Arn says he’s called ahead to Winston, Salem (where Fall Brawl/War Games is being held) to pre-book himself a hospital room as he assumes he’s going to need one. Seems like a somewhat pessimistic thing to do, but is it even possible to pre-book hospital room? Arn is talking like he’s booked a hotel room for the night. Strange lad. He also suggests Hogan uses battery acid to burn out his eyes which... I mean, don’t give the guy ideas, Arn.  
Interview ends with everybody talking over each other and Flair wooing a lot - so, the same as most Horsemen interviews.
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People in the crowd are holding these signs which say “nWo - you haven’t seen bad... but it’s coming!” - indeed, Hogan Vs Piper is coming.
We get a recap of this thrilling DDP/Eddie/Chavo storyline which nobody cares about, but why this is recapped is beyond me as the next match has nothing to do with any of those three. 
Instead, out comes “the desparado” himself, Joe Gomez.
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Somebody throws a wad of paper at him as he enters. Obviously not a fan.
His opponent is Juventud Guerrera,  who Tony repeatedly refers to as Juventud Guerrero. 
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As Juvi enters he runs past these ladies, who appear both baffled and unimpressed with him.
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Cold.
Joe Gomez Vs Juventud Guerrera
The match starts off okay, but descends into disaster fairly quickly as Juvi starts trying various lucha things which poor Joe is clearly not comfortable with. First Juvi stands on the apron, jumps onto the ropes as Gomez slowly walks towards him and does this...
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It’s clear from this angle alone that there is no way in hell Juvi is going to reach Gomez. In fairness to WCW they switch camera angle just in time to make it look slightly less terrible, although I imagine it was more down to luck than skill. Nonetheless Gomez at least tries to sell the move, falling backwards theatrically.
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Weeee! Points for effort if not execution. 
This happens next, and thanks to Uproxx “Best and Worst of WCW Monday Nitro” series (check it out, it’s great) I have a GIF to put into pictures what I would struggle to put into words.
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Speaks for itself.
After this Juvi seems to want to go for a hurricanrana from the top turnbuckle but I‘m not sure if they botch this as well or it was the plan, but Juvi ends up backflipping away from the turnbuckle and then catching Gomez with a weak looking dropkick as he jumps towards Juvi.
Juvi just about manages to hit the finishing move...
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But even that looks a little bit dodgy. At least Joe just had to lay there for this one. Ref counts to three and mercifully this one is over. Not sure if Gomez or Juvi are to blame for this shitshow, but either way I advise never putting them together again.
Juventud Guerrera defeats Joe Gomez via Pinfall.
For some reason Mean Gene is on the ramp to interview Nick Patrick. Oh good, more of this storyline.
Before they start the interview though, as Juventud walks past Gene and Patrick, Gene says “very good match there on the part of Juventud Guerrera”, then gives Juvi a disdainful look and mutters “guy just kind of... wanders around here”. LOL. Why is Gene throwing shade at poor Juvi? “Guy just wanders around here”, like he’s a lost child or something. I guess Gene is still salty about the interview with Juvi that went wrong a couple of weeks ago, but come on, that was hardly Juvi’s fault. Obvious Gene is still holding a grudge though. 
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I don’t think anybody really wants to hear from these two ballbags but here we are anyway. 
Gene is accusing Patrick of making too many controversial calls for it to just be coincidence, whilst Patrick is accusing Gene of being a shit-stirring cock cheese who needs to get a life. Neither are lying but nobody really cares either. What is funny is that Okerlund is very haughty and dismissive of Patrick - until Patrick threatens to take Gene to court - at which point Gene stutters “well I-I hope that doesn’t happen” before saying “thank you very much Nick Patrick, sir, thank you” to Patrick as he walks off. Pathetic. 
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Meanwhile Hogan, Hall, Nash and the Giant are outside in the pouring rain putting those nWo flyers with the “you haven’t seen bad... but it’s coming” slogan on random cars. This seems like a total waste of time as by the time the car owners get back to their vehicles the rain would probably have destroyed those flyers anyway.  Do these guys really have nothing better to do? Tony tells us the nWo are “literally” in the parking lot - as opposed to what, being there in spirit?
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Ted DiBiase is the smartest of the lot as he 1) has an umbrella and 2) isn’t wasting his time putting up useless flyers in the pouring rain. He’s talking to somebody in the car, and the announcers are shitting themselves as to who it might be, as they tend to do. For all they know DiBiase might just be talking to the driver. 
“HERE’S A STORY OF TWO BROTHERS, RICK AND SCOTT!”
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Just Rick tonight. He comes out doing that sad half-bark he does whenever something is troubling him. 
His opponent, of course, is Flexy Lexy.
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Rick Steiner Vs Lex Luger
These two are not exactly known as ‘ring generals’ so I am not expecting a classic here. Let’s see, though. Perhaps we will all be pleasantly surprised. 
After various arm drags, headlocks, shoulder blocks, and so on, this happens.
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Uh...
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Yeah. Rick is basically molesting Luger in the ring and keeps this up for a disturbing amount of time. I guess it’s meant to show his amateur wrestling background but it basically just looks like sexual assault. Rick’s hands are going to places they really should not. 
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Hour two begins with the usual fireworks. Bischoff, Heenan and Tenay come in on commentary for the rest of the show. 
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Rick hits Luger with a nice powerslam, and Randy Anderson cannot bear to watch the impact. The crowd bark their approval which, personally, I don’t think is helpful. Rick’s clinical lycanthropy is only going to get worse if people bark at him when he does something good. Or bark at him in general, really.
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More cuddling. Back away, Rick. Even Randy Anderson is telling him to cut it out at this point.
Luger takes control with a powerslam and signals for the rack. However, before he can attempt his finishing move...
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This dicksplash comes running out waving his arms around. Looks like he’s doing the sieg heil there but fairly sure it’s just the timing of the screenshot.
Anyhow, Patrick tells Luger to follow him out the back, yelling something about the nWo beating up Sting.
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Considering Patrick’s recent behaviour, Lex, it might not be wise to...
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OK. Never mind. Of course Luger goes running after Patrick, abandoning the match entirely and getting himself counted out. 
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Everyone looking towards the entrance way like “where’s he going?” 
Rick Steiner defeats Lex Luger via Countout.
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We get a shot of DiBiase talking to the mystery man in the limo. Sting’s voice is heard but it is blatantly piped in from some other promo. He says he’s “tired of the DTA stuff, don’t trust anybody”, so I guess he’s not a fan of Stone Cold Steve Austin. DiBiase pretends to talk to the pre-taped Sting voice until Lex shows up.
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A guy who is clearly not Sting gets out of the limo and starts beating up Luger whilst Bischoff screams “NO! NO!”
I have the advantage of hindsight and my monitor is probably bigger than most people’s TVs back in 1996... but still, it’s really obviously not Sting. Were people genuinely fooled by this? 
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The nWo along with “Sting” beat Luger down and leave him laying in a broken heap in the rain...
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It has not been a good night for Luger. First he got yelled at by the Horsemen, then he spent ten minutes getting inappropriately touched by Rick Steiner during their match, then he gets smacked around by the nWo and left on the ground in the pouring rain. Bad times for sure. Although if you’re stupid enough to follow Nick Patrick anywhere... 
Luger does manage to get back up but ends up just kind of wandering around in the rain looking confused whilst the nWo flee, leaving the limos parked outside the building.
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These bois are not impressed by what they have just seen. Tenay looks like a dad who is about to grab his belt and put a whippin’ on somebody. Bischoff is indignant. Heenan wears the expression of a man who was just forced to sit through every Raw from 2015. Pure torture. 
Bischoff says he has an update which is literally “we don’t know where [the nWo] are. I’m sorry. I don’t know”. Well thanks for that. Very helpful. 
We get a long recap of last week’s angle including more footage of the amazing all-out brawl that ended the show. Then we get another nWo advert for their t-shirt. 
A bunch of random jobbers are outside with Luger and Rick Steiner milling around the limo yelling out “DIBIASE!” - as if he’ll just pop up and be like “sup bois?” - pointless endeavour. Rick Steiner is the only one smart enough to bring an umbrella outside. Let that one sink in. Luger chucks a bunch of stuff out of one of the limos onto the floor which seems unnecessary. 
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Out comes pre-Flock Billy Kidman. The commentators could not care less, just droning on about Sting’s supposed “defection”. 
The other combatant in this contest is Cruiserweight champion Rey Mysterio Jr.
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Rey Mysterio Jr Vs Billy Kidman
The announcers spend the entire match in ‘sad voice’, like their dogs have all collectively died. It’s really annoying.
The match spills to the outside very quickly. Rey gets the advantage and rolls Kidman back in. He attempts to jump off the ropes from the apron, but Kidman knows what’s coming and meets Rey with a dropkick to the chest.
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Kidman slams Rey in the centre of the ring, runs over to the turnbuckle and leaps off.
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Just a two count though. Rey wins the match soon after this by flipping off the ropes onto Kidman.
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It looks weak but whatever. This wasn’t anything special.
Rey Mysterio defeats Billy Kidman via Pinfall.
We come back from a commercial and the Dungeon’s of Doom’s “music” is playing, and I put that in inverted commas because it isn’t really music, just a pseudo-creepy OTT villainous laugh accompanied by some kind of chant. Whatever. Normally any sign of the Dungeon is enough to make me want to hang my head in despair, however!
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If Meng is involved, it might be somewhat entertaining. Just to note those aren’t two random arms sprouting out of Meng’s shoulders – the Barbarian is behind him.
The announcers are still going on about how tragic Sting’s supposed betrayal is – and Bischoff apologises for “not giving Rey Mysterio the attention he deserves in his match”. I mean, kind of tough to take that apology seriously considering how often this has happened and will continue to happen until Nitro goes out of existence. It is the only time I can recall any commentator in WCW actually apologising for the routine ignoring of the cruiserweights in favour of talking about/complaining about the nWo, though.
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These two are the opponents. Yeah, Public Enemy, they definitely deserve that pyro. Sure. Look at them waving their hands in the air like they just don’t care.
By the way, the commentators are still going on about Sting. I wonder if we’ll get another apology for ignoring this match as well? Not that I’d necessarily blame them here.
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Some diehard wrestling fans here. I think we saw them previously – seemingly someone in production has taken a liking to these ladies. They look like they got lost on their way to a PTA meeting, but fuck it, might as well enjoy themselves now. Watch out for the dude behind you though, ladies. That smile worries me a little.
The Faces of Fear Vs Public Enemy
We go to a commercial break, and as soon as we come back Bischoff says “I hate to keep repeating this, but apparently Sting has joined forces with the nWo”. Bullshit, if you hated it that much you’d have shut up about it by now. I mean, jeez, we get it.
This contest is just a brawl, as you’d expect. Not exactly a match for the ages, but all of a sudden, randomly…
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This dude on the left appears and begins running/skipping around the ring.
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The fuck? It’s like Rockstar Spud’s demented uncle or something. 
He briefly chases Jimmy Hart, then just… vanishes? Oh, and by the way, the commentators make no mention of this. They do not acknowledge this at all. Why? Because they’re talking about everything except the match itself. Literally, I’m not kidding, it’s like this match is not happening. It’s like listening to a radio show or a podcast spliced together with unrelated WCW footage.
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Wait, what? What’s happening now? The match is ongoing and they just cut to the back. Judging from the faces of these lads you’d think someone died. It’s a sombre scene to say the least – but seriously, why even have the match in the ring? What’s the point? The commentators are acting like it isn’t happening and we cut to an interview as the match is happening. Bischoff doesn’t even note that we’ve cut away from a match in progress, he just says “take it away Gene”, like this is totally normal. Whatever, I guess. It’s not like I’m desperate to see the Faces of Fear versus Public Enemy, but what a bizarre way to structure… everything.
Gene asks Arn to explain what happened in the parking lot earlier. Seemed quite self-explanatory to me and the commentators have not stopped talking about it since it happened, so the viewers really don’t need any extra information.  
Arn says he doesn’t give a shit about Luger losing a friend, or that he’s lost a team mate, he’s just shocked. He brings up Sting’s loyalty to WCW.
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They actually move to a split-screen here – I guess someone in the production truck remembered there is actually a match going on. It wouldn’t be fair to deprive the dozens of Faces of Fear/Public Enemy fans the chance to see their favourite grapplers go at it.
Anyway, Arn says he has a sick feeling in his stomach, he’s shocked, and he’s out of words. He’s said quite a few already, though, so not really.
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Flair stands there with his arms folded, eyeing the audience like a disappointed father.
Luger says he doesn’t have any answers, and that his “best friend in the whole world” stabbed him in the back. He then says he knows where Sting lives and where he works out, and he’s going to go and find him “right now”. Sounds like Lex is planning to murk Sting. However, he should keep in mind this is a guy who only last week tried to murder somebody by chucking a rock through the window of a limo, then stole a police car. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why Sting isn’t in jail. Regardless, I wouldn’t be chasing after him without a good plan.
Flair screams that he’s “sick of it” and just generally yells about how they’re going to beat up the nWo at War Games (including Sting). Arn says “it’s a fight to the death – yours, not ours”. I suppose that was worth emphasising? Also Arn has a tendency to see these matches as ending in death, even though it never comes close to that.
We return to the Faces of Fear/Public Enemy match. By “we” I mean the audience – the commentators are still talking about War Games. I genuinely don’t think they have said anything about the match – oh, wait a minute, Bischoff does mention the match, finally. Although he says the teams are “literally fighting for their lives” which is not exactly accurate. What is up with these people thinking matches are going to end so tragically?
Anyway, the brawling continues for a while and eventually, somehow, Rocco Rock ends up lying on a table. Barbarian heads for the top turnbuckle.
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Guys, I don’t foresee this ending well. Seriously, what is the absolute best result of this? Rocco (who can clearly see Barbarian on the turnbuckle) for some reason lays there and lets Barbarian jump on him. It’ll be brutal for both. Or, Rocco moves and Barbarian crashes through the table. Either way Barbarian doesn’t win in this scenario.
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Uh oh. Jimmy Hart is absolutely useless at holding Rocco down, kicked away like an insect as Rocco sits up.
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That is a fucking sick bump. It’s funny because Barbarian barely takes any serious bumps at all, on Nitro at least, then he decides to say fuck it and leaps to the concrete through a table because YOLO I guess?
Well anyway he dead. Rocco brings a second table into the ring.
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Looks pretty old. Nick Patrick wags his finger in disapproval, but incredibly that isn’t enough to persuade Public Enemy to stop. They lay Meng on the table, then Rocco goes to the top turnbuckle for a moonsault…
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He almost misses the table entirely, only catching Meng with his legs. The table is weak enough that it breaks despite the soft contact.
You’d think that would be the spot that ends the match, but no. Meng gets up like nothing happened and starts brawling with Rocco again. Barbarian is also somehow revived and back in the ring fighting with Grunge. This is weird because the outside table spot with Barbarian getting wiped out, and then Meng getting put through the table by Rocco’s moonsault, felt like the end sequence of the match. Now it’s like we’re back at the start again. Keep in mind the match has been going for about 10 minutes now. That’s at least 7 minutes longer than is ideal for these teams, really.
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Whilst Rocco and Barbarian are hugging it out in the corner, Meng puts the Tongan Death Grip on Grunge and now this one is over.
No explanation as to what the fuck was going on with that random ginger guy running around the ring earlier by the way. Oh well. During the replay Heenan accidentally calls Meng “Haku” and then goes silent immediately. Oops.
The Faces of Fear defeat Public Enemy via Pinfall.
Suddenly Okerlund appears at ringside, accompanied by the Dungeon of Doom.
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Maxx, Jimmy Hart, Big Bubba, Gene, Kevin Sullivan, Hugh Morrus and Konnan. To quote Rufus from Final Fantasy 7 – “what a crew”.
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Sullivan is no longer painting his face with those stupid markings, but for some reason is now wearing a white headband. Does he think he’s the Karate Kid now?
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He also starts making this derp face - and this isn’t just a screen grab catching an awkward expression momentarily, he’s making this face on purpose.
For some reason we go to Jimmy Hart first, who tells the Giant “it’s the beginning of the end for you, you just don’t know it yet”. I’m sure he’s quaking in his boots.  
Big Bubba then rants about Glacier, talking about him saying he’s coming for “6 or 7 months” and asking if he’s not debuting because he’s afraid. Slight exaggeration on the 6 or 7 months from Bubba, but to be fair it does feel like those vignettes have been running for at least that long. Bubba actually doesn’t seem to be aware that Glacier debuted on WCW Pro, but it’s WCW Pro, so... understandable. Bubba calls the Dungeon of Doom “the masters of intimidation”…
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What he means is that Meng is the master of intimidation. The others aren’t exactly adding much to the equation. Maxx is standing off to the side looking distinctly unimpressed by the entire thing.
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With that said, bored does seem to be his default expression regardless of what is happening. I imagine he’d have the same expression even if Bubba was in the process of sprouting three heads whilst doing a kossack dance.
After calling Gene “homes”, Konnan calls Sullivan a “hardened veterano”. He then says Sullivan has seen and led gang wars from coast to coast.
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Yes, Kevin Sullivan wearing that silly white headband is exactly what I think of when I think of leaders of gang wars. Sullivan’s ‘wut?’ expression here says it all. I’m not sure you can call the Dungeon of Doom/Alliance to End Hulkamania Versus Hogan and Macho Man a “gang war”. I’m not sure two people can even constitute a gang. Also Sullivan may be worried Konnan is unintentionally (?) implicating him in genuine gang wars… which probably isn’t in the Taskmaster’s best interests.
Konnan challenges the nWo to come out and confront the Dungeon, who he calls “the toughest set”. Yeah, sure. The challenge is not accepted, because the nWo are for sure terrified of a “gang” featuring the likes of Maxx, Kevin Sullivan, Big Bubba and Hugh Morrus.
Sullivan says that Savage thinks he’ll owe the Dungeon “a debt” for carrying him out from the ring last week. I doubt it in all honesty – maybe if they’d actually done something to help him before he’d been beaten down and spraypainted. Carrying him out after the fact didn’t really help much.
Anyhow, Sullivan says Savage can repay this fictional debt by first beating John Tenta, because why not I guess, and then by getting rid of the Giant. That doesn’t really seem like a balanced deal. We carry you backstage after you’ve been beaten up, you make it even by beating John Tenta and the Giant. Hmmm.
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Time for some nWo propaganda.
Hogan tells us that they “aren’t here for a stinkin’ reason” – directly contradicting Nash and Hall, who had previously made it clear they’d come in specifically to take over WCW. He then randomly says “we’ve got our boss with us” and points to Ted DiBiase, who’s sitting in a chair behind them.
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Homely. DiBiase looks like he’s being held prisoner, but whatever. Hogan says DiBiase makes Ted Turner look like a “pauper”. Honestly I could try to recap this whole thing but it’s really just a bunch of random sound bytes ripping on WCW for the most part. They talk about wanting “their own tag team tournament” for some reason. They also want a segment (on Nitro, presumably) where they can “highlight” their talent. What they actually mean is a segment highlighting Hogan, as we’ll discover going forward. Scott Hall says “nWo 4 life” with the hand sign (might be the first instance of this?) and they all end the segment laughing like it was an amazing joke.
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I was a satellite dish owner back then – or rather, my parents were - but no WCW PPVs in the UK, sadly. We only got a butchered hour-long version of Nitro on TNT UK during 1996 & 1997. I didn’t find out that I’d been watching an edited version of the show until many years later. At least now I can sit back and relive the glory of the Faces of Fear Vs Public…. eh, maybe TNT UK were doing us a favour after all.
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Back with your bois at the announce desk. Tenay once again has that “stern dad” look, whilst Heenan seems to be whimsically remembering something from years gone by. Take a guess as to what Bischoff is talking about?
A)     The upcoming main event
B)     Meltzer being wrong about everything
C)     Blue Chew
D)     Sting’s betrayal
If you’ve been following along thus far, you’ll know the answer. The lad does genuinely hate big Dave though, and loves that Blue Chew. Come to think of it, what is the main event? I can’t even remember. Sting’s supposed betrayal has been hammered into my brain so many fucking times at this point I can barely conceive of any other event occurring at any wrestling show.
Chris Jericho’s music plays, but…
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It’s John Tenta? Still got that stupid haircut by the way. Seriously, fish man, you’ve made your point. Get that shaved.
But yeah, I’m confused here. I thought Jericho was coming out. But hold on, that’s Jericho’s second theme, “One Crazed Anarchist”, aka the Pearl Jam ripoff, not the one he’s using at this point in WCW, which I believe is the Journey ripoff. So John Tenta is in fact the OG “One Crazed Anarchist”. For the record, the theme suits Jericho far more than it suits the former Shark.
As he comes out Tenta says “Savage, you’re not putting me down”. You think so, John?
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What exactly has that guy in the hat been up to? That is not the look of an innocent person.
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Ohhh yeahhh, it’s the Macho Man. The commentators are pretending that the result of the match is in any doubt, which I suppose they have to do.
John “anti-fish” Tenta Vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage
Savage storms to the ring, but that turns out to be a bad idea as Tenta stomps on the Macho Man’s back as he slides in and then clobbers him with a forearm to the back.
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Bad strategy, Macho. Tenta’s moobs though… whoa.
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That’s an interesting choice of attire for a wrestling event, madam.
Tenta works over Savage in the corner for a bit. Savage then begins to make a comeback, before for some reason attempting to slam Tenta…
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Goes about as well as you’d expect. Macho really needs to work on his strategy.
Bischoff actually specifically says here that Heenan accidentally referred to Meng as “Haku” earlier and wants to make it clear Meng now works for WCW and not the WWF. I guess they were really taking this kind of thing seriously due to the lawsuits flying around at this point in history. Funny though, as you hear these kinds of slip-ups all the time. I mean, if TNA or AEW were sued for every time a commentator accidentally used a competitor’s ex-WWE name there would need to be a legal department created specifically just to deal with the fucking volume. At least Heenan didn’t call it “WWF Nitro”.
Tenta hits Macho with a decent looking drop kick – quite impressive considering his weight. Outside of the ring Savage hits Tenta with a steel chair…
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He isn’t disqualified because…? He whacks Tenta twice more with a chair. This is not a no-DQ match, but it is WCW, so fuck the rules unless we need them for storyline purposes, right?
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Flying elbow drop!
Macho goes up for a second, but then Teddy Long comes to ringside yelling “Macho!” – what could the so-called “godfather” want with Savage? Also where’s my man Ice Train at? Come to think of it, I just remembered what he was wearing earlier… best for him to stay backstage.
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Savage still hits the second elbow drop. Long is gesticulating wildly at Savage and yelling something about the nWo. Savage leaps over the top rope with nice agility.
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But before we go any further…
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Son, I am disappoint. I can’t even say “A for effort” because that is the lowest tier of effort.
Anyway, Savage follows Teddy to the outside of the arena where Teddy announces “YOU GONNA GO ONE-ON-ONE WITH THE UNDERTAKER PLAYA!”
Actually, they run towards a limo.              
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The limo drives off as soon as Savage approaches it. What was the point of that?
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Flair and Mongo randomly appear as the limo drives away.
There’s another limo there, but only a box of spraypaint inside it. There are a ton of WCW guys out there now – the Horsemen, the Dungeon, Public Enemy, Juvi, Super Calo, Savage… basically everyone who was on TV tonight. They start spraypainting “WCW” on the limo windows… or rather, they try to. Due to the fact it’s been raining and everywhere is wet it ends up just looking like a green smudge. As an aside, if that is in fact not an nWo limo, somebody is going to be in for a surprise.  
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For some reason the commentators are all standing up. Tenay is looking more evil every time he’s on camera. It’s like he wants to reach through the camera and strangle each and every viewer.
Seriously though, he is repeatedly making a “pissed-off dad” face.
“Dad, I borrowed your car…”
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“Um… and… I got a speeding ticket…”
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“And there’s a dent on the front as I kinda sorta knocked over the mailbox…”
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Grounded forever.
Anyway, once they all sit back down Heenan goes on a rant about the nWo which concludes with “if we don’t stop them now then they can’t be stopped”. If only you could glimpse into the future and nWo 2000, Bobby.
Oh, by the way, I guess John Tenta won the match against Savage by count out? It wasn’t announced or shown, but Savage jumped out of the ring and never returned, so…
John Tenta defeats “Macho Man” Randy Savage via Countout.
I guess Tenta was right, Savage didn’t put him down after all. Score one for the fish hating weirdo.
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Double A suddenly appears on set. Heenan gives Arn his headset. Can’t help but think it’d be better for Anderson to be in the ring with a mic, as the fans in the arena can’t hear any of this… but whatever.
Arn says that the world is “in shock” and “outraged”. The world is probably a bit of a stretch, but OK. Flair turns up as Arn is talking, as do Benoit and Mongo. Arn says that this all began ten years ago with the original Horsemen, and that they paved the way and showed the nWo how to do it. Technically true. Arn says the nWo want to be the Horsemen “when they grow up”.
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Tenay continuing to give that evil stare, even at Arn. Bischoff looks kind of sad.
As an aside, I may have mentioned it before, but I really like this shirt design:
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Bischoff begins talking about making mistakes, but Flair interrupts him. Flair screams so loudly that the headset seems to take some damage as the volume decreases slightly. Flair explains War Games – although if you don’t know what it is by this point then what have you been doing with your life? – and says Hogan won’t leave War Games alive. Spoiler alert: he does.
Bischoff then talks about how maybe bringing Hogan in to WCW was “a mistake” and that the Horsemen “haven’t been given their just due”. The same exact sentence could have been said in 2000 and been even more relevant.
WCW then ends the show with a replay of Luger getting beaten up by “Sting” and the nWo. I’m sure he appreciates that. A good thing they reminded us, as I think a whole ten seconds passed at the end there without mention of Sting’s betrayal and my memory had started to go hazy.
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