#and i wanna hug tess!

[themoonstonechronicler]

i need all of you to understand my problem. I want to hug Tess desperately. However, she is made of metal, and i cant touch metal without having a sensory issue.

[be-an-echo]

let's go my love, we don't belong here anymore...

[cravingstudyvalidation]

Your girl socialised and went on a window shopping date with two of my dance mates💃

[bullet-prooflove]

Finally someone that writes for Jack Dayton! can you do smth fluffy with -Sun on your skin, 6 am And I been watchin' you sleep?

Sending hugs!

Tagging: @soultrysworld @kmc1989 @livingonthehems @tess-love @mandy426 @readmetosleep @foxfabled

It’s 6am and Jack should already be on a plane to Zurich. Instead he’s laying naked next to you, watching you sleep as the sunlight filters through from the open window of his  apartment. You look so peaceful in that moment, relaxed, serene. It’s a far cry from the wanton goddess you were last night, the one that needed him to get a little rough, for him to fuck her like he hated her.

Something happened yesterday, he knows it did.

You’d dropped off the radar for twelve hours and then you’d turned up at his door, practically taking off your clothes in the hallway. You hadn’t even made it to the couch, he’d ended up fucking you on the floor, the rug searing across his knees as you guided his palm to your throat, tightening his fingers with your own.

“Choke me.” You’d whispered. “Please, I need…”

There’s a desperation in your voice, a rawness that resonates through him. You don’t use this tone, ever and that’s when he knows, he knows that somethings wrong.

“Jack please…” He kisses you then, his thumb caressing the underside of your jaw before he begins to exert pressure. Your breath catches and he can feel the relief surging through you as your hips arch up to meet his.

It doesn’t take you long to get there, Jack neither because there’s something so filthy about wanting him so badly you barely make it to the other side of the door. When you come you take him with you, your nails raking across his back so hard he knows he’ll feel the sting in the shower tomorrow.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asks as he lies beside you on the floor in the aftermath.

“I’m tired.” You say quietly, your eyes fluttering closed and he concedes because it’s clear you aren’t ready to disclose what’s going on with you and Jack, he knows not to push, no matter how much he wants to.

He carries you to bed instead, your body cradled close against his like you are the most precious thing on this earth. He drapes you in one of his t-shirts, tucking the sheets around you before he puts your phone on charge on the nightstand.  You fall asleep almost immediately, curling up into a ball, burying your face in the quilt and if that isn’t an indicator something’s wrong in your world, he doesn’t know what is because you, you sleep like a starfish, draped cross him, stretched out across the mattress.

“I need you to reschedule Zurich.” He tells his assistant before he settles in alongside you. “There’s something much more important I need to take care of here.”

Love Jack? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[writerslittlelibrary]

I don't wanna lose you

picture credits: @akutlou

masterlist

summary: ever since a smuggler got the job to smuggle you across the country to a group called the fireflies, you started to realise how much family you could have if only you let people in (Abby isn't a Firefly so she never kills Joel)

pairing: Abby Anderson x fem reader

warnings: guns, clickers, talk of death, weed, murder? idk it's an apocalypse fic 

genre: fluff, angst

words: 2834

a/n: This is basically just reader being Ellie. If you read my other tlou x mcu fic, some parts may be a bit the same, but I promise this story is different :)

I've decided to make this an au, so that I can write future Abby x reader with the same backstory. besides, I enjoy connecting fics 

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

Joel wasn't very happy when he learned he would be smuggling a fifteen year old girl across the country. However, the pay couldn't be denied, and his partner, Tess, wanted to get paid.

After taking on the job, and after losing Tess, Joel soon realised the girl he was smuggling was slowly healing him. He hated it. He hated the feeling of erasing his daughter. Of replacing her. And so, he pushed the girl away. He pretended as though he hated her, never starting an actual conversation and pretending to hate her talking.

The truth, however, was quite different. What Joel hated the most, was the fact that this new girl was making him fearful. Making him scared of losing another daughter. Making him fear the fact that he may not be able to protect this girl, that he may fail her, just like he failed his daughter. 

After some time, the girl grew on him. He started openly enjoying her conversation, and her endless talking. He started receiving her hugs, and enjoying the warm feeling that seemed to heal his wounds on the inside.

But then, both Joel and the girl arrived at the hospital. 

The destination you both fought so hard to get to. This was all that Joel was supposed to do. Drop you off with the Fireflies, and get the hell out of there. 

Yet, when it was time, he couldn't. What would you do after travelling across the entire country with a girl? Travelling for almost an entire year? Could you give her up? 

One thing was certain. Joel couldn't, and he wouldn't.

Killing the entire hospital had been easy. He had the motivation to save you, and that was all that he needed. Killing the people that were trying to hurt you was easy. You needed to survive, and he would make sure you did.

The lying was what was difficult. 

Joel lied to you. He promised you that there was no cure, that you weren't of any use to them. You believed him. Or rather, you wanted to believe him. Somewhere, deep down, you knew the truth. You knew Joel was lying, but you didn't let him know. You wanted to believe him, and so you did. 

Now things were different. You had gone back to Jackson. Together with Joel you decided that living with Tommy would be best, so you went back. 

Things were good. You were good. You like hanging out with the other kids around Jackson, and you liked having family. You enjoyed how Tommy, Maria and Joel all cared for you. They were the only ones that knew your secret, and they were your family now. 

You had never experienced something like this before. You had never had any family, and now you suddenly had a whole town. 

However, after about a year, things went bad.

You ran away from Jackson, stealing your horse from the stables and returning to the Firefly hospital. You needed to know the truth. You need to be sure. You knew Joel was lying, but you needed proof.

After finding it, you had gotten mad. Joel had lied to you, actually lied to you. 

Joel had come to look for you, taking a horse as well and following you. He knew where you would go, and when he did find you, you forced him to tell you the truth. He did, and after doing so, you broke down. 

You weren't mad that Joel saved your life. You weren't mad that there was no cure. If there was a possibility of a cure being made, you knew a group like the Fireflies shouldn't be the ones to possess it. They would use it for bad things. They would manipulate people and use the cure as a way of making other people do their bidding. 

No. You were mad that Joel lied. 

The truth was something you could handle, but the fact that the most important person in your life lied about something so big, something so important. That was what pissed you off. 

However, it didn't take long before you forgave Joel.

You might have been mad, but you weren't unreasonable. You loved Joel, and you knew he loved you. Why else would he have killed almost the entirety of the Fireflies?

Now you lived with him, or at least, in his garage. He lived in the house, and he had helped you turn the garage into a livable room. He helped you decorate it, and together with Tommy he dragged the couch and the bed in. 

------------------------------------------------------------- 

Today you went out on patrol. Jesse assigned you and Dina to check out the creek trails. You had never done that route before, so you followed along as Dina showed you everything you needed to know about this route. 

“So what's going on between you and Jesse?” you asked Dina as you two rode along the creek trails, shielding your face slightly due to the snow.

“That's what you wanna talk about?!” Dina replied smugly, to which you shrugged.

“I dunno. It seemed kinda awkward this morning,” you continued, and you heard Dina chuckle a bit. 

“I don't know if I'm still into Jesse. I mean, his parents are nice, but me and him were just on autopilot. I'm not sure I liked that,” Dina explained, pulling her horse to a stop.

“We should check out these houses. Infected roam through this area once in a while,” Dina said, getting off her horse and reaching for her gun. 

You followed her example, getting off your horse and grabbing your gun. After making sure it was loaded, you entered the first house, Dina following closely. 

“So what are you doing tonight?” Dina asked after deeming the house was clear. 

“I was gonna watch a movie with Joel, why?” you responded, checking a few of the drawers in hope of there being supplies.

“Some kids were talking about sneaking out to go sledding. I thought maybe you'd wanna join.”

You chuckled. “Sounds fun, but maybe another time,” you said as you walked back to your horse. 

------------------------------------------------------------- 

After riding for about another hour, you arrived at a supermarket. It was clear there were infected inside, and you were on patrol after all. 

After clearing the building you went back outside, but soon realised the storm had heavily picked up. You ran to your horse and followed Dina as she guided you to another look-out. You could rest there and wait out the storm. 

You and Dina got settled after finding the weed downstairs. 

You knew Eugene was a funny guy, but never had you expected this. You and Dina decided to smoke one of the joints while waiting, but were soon interrupted when Jesse ran into the room.

“What are you doing here?!” Jesse asked in surprise. “You're supposed to be on patrol,” he finished unimpressed.

“There's a blizzard outside…?” you replied in confusion.

“Why aren't you at the fucking look-out?” Dina asked Jesse, who got a look on his face that you did not appreciate. 

“Because Tommy and Joel didn't show up!” 

“What…?” you asked hurriedly, suddenly very alert. The weed cleared quickly from your system. The relaxing effects immediately leaving after hearing what Jesse said.

“What do you mean they didn't show up?” 

“We waited for them for an hour,” Jesse explains. 

“How much of their region have you covered?” you asked quickly, putting your jacket back on and grabbing your backpack. 

“We don't know what's out there. I don't like you riding solo,” Jesse quickly replied, which you interrupted.

“Exactly. What if they need help?”

Jesse sighed. “Okay, I will come from the east, Dina you come from west, and you come from south but be smart about it,” he told you.

You nodded and quickly made your way towards the exit.

------------------------------------------------------------- 

It only took you a few hours before you found Joel. Him and Tommy were waiting out the storm at a mansion only a few hours' ride from Jackson. They were there with another group. 

Apparently, Tommy and Joel had been caught off guard by a group infected. While they were running away from them, they ran into a girl. They helped her while she was being attacked by some runners, killing them and helping her run.

After they got locked into the look-out while the infected were trying to break the doors down, the girl, Abby, had told them about the mansion she and her friends were staying in.

Tommy and Joel brought Abby there, and they were allowed to wait out the storm with them. 

However, you didn't know that yet. and so, you went around the house, climbing over a fence and making your way inside quickly. 

You had your gun raised as you heard chatter coming from a room inside the house. You carefully checked each room, making sure you didn't miss anything or anyone as you tried to find the source of the chatter. 

You then arrived in something that looked like the living room. There was a fire going and you could feel the heat from the room

You could also hear a lot of chatter, which quickly made you realise that whoever these people were, they were with a lot. You raised your gun, loading it while entering the room. However, what you saw wasn't exactly what you expected. 

Joel was there, and he was chatting with Tommy and the other people in the room.

“Joel?!” you asked out of relief, walking further into the room.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” Joel asked surprised, getting up from his seat and embracing you in his arms when you went to hug him.

“You guys never showed up at the look-out. I thought you fucking died,” you replied, hitting him on the arm. 

Joel chuckled. “I'm not gonna die. The storm caught us off guard, and the look-out was swarmed with infected. We just needed another place to wait out the storm,” he explained. 

“Let's hope Jesse and Dina find us soon, and let's hope they didn't run into the herd that you tried avoiding,” you sighed in annoyance, allowing Joel to push your shoulders. 

“I gotta get Shimmer. I left her outside,” you explained, and Joel nodded.

“Go to the front, we'll open the gate for ya,” Tommy said as he got up. Another guy got up as well, and he followed Tommy to the gate. 

------------------------------------------------------------- 

After getting Shimmer inside and everything being settled, you sat down next to Joel, Tommy sitting on the other side of you. 

“So who are you?” asked one of the guys from the group. He looked to be Spanish, and he couldn't have been older than 25. 

“I'm y/n,” you replied. “What about you?” 

The guy, Manny, introduced himself and the others, telling you they came from Seattle and were just passing through. After talking with the group for a while, Jesse and Dina found you as well. That’s when you returned to Jackson.

The snow storm had mostly calmed down, and with that the possibility came to safely return to Jackson. 

You returned to Jackson, followed by the group that you met in the mansion. Tommy offered them to stock up before their return to Seattle, and they had gratefully accepted. 

After returning to Jackson, you were quick to get back to your room. The day had wrecked you, and you were physically and emotionally broken. You didn't mind that the group would leave when you would be asleep, but you had the feeling one girl did. You didn't miss the many times she looked you up and down, almost as if she was checking you out. 

You couldn't care less, though. She would be leaving for Seattle soon anyway.

The next morning she was gone, and you went on about your life. You watched that movie with Joel, and you went on your patrol with Dina and Jesse. Everything seemed to have gone back to normal, until she showed up.

------------------------------------------------------------- 

It had been a few months since the run in with the Seattle group, and you had been sticking closer to Joel than you ever had before. When he went on patrols, you went with him. It even went as far as sleeping in the house with him. You were terrified of losing him and you didn't want to leave him, even for a moment. 

Joel couldn't deny how much he enjoyed you sticking close to him. He as well was once afraid of losing you. After telling you the truth Joel was afraid he had lost you, And when he realised he hadn't, he wanted to be around you as much as possible as well.

He gladly took you in, cooking dinner for the two of you for when you returned from either your patrols or hanging out with Jesse and Dina. 

He enjoyed you openly loving him again. 

Of course, you had never stopped loving him, but you did stop showing it at some point. Now you were back to openly showing it again, hanging out around Joel as much as possible. 

Everything was back to normal in Jackson, until she showed up.

You remembered her name was Abby, and the guy she was with was Manny. They were with the Seattle crew, and now they were here. 

They weren't travelling alone, however. You were quick to spot the little boy hiding behind Abby.

They were let in quickly. Jackson was known for its hospitality, and neither Tommy nor Maria would ever let anyone stand outside of the gates, especially not someone they had met before. 

You were quick to be at the gate, welcoming Abby and Manny inside while you tried to get a good look at the little boy. You hadn't seen him before, and by his body language you could tell he was afraid. 

It didn't make much sense to you that they would show up here in Jackson. They had told you about their own settlement. How they had lived there for many years and how it was their home. Yet now, they were here, miles away from the place they claimed was their home. 

After following Maria and Tommy, who got the people inside quickly, you helped with preparing a meal for them. 

You served it, and they ate quickly, clearly not having eaten a lot in the past few weeks, maybe even months. 

After they ate, Abby explained what had happened, and why they had come to Jackson. Apparently, their group, the Wolves, were at war with another group, the Scars, or Seraphites, as the little boy corrected. The rest of their crew got taken out by said Seraphites, and while Abby was travelling to see her friend, Owen, she ran into two Scars.

They helped her, saved her life, and in turn she saved theirs. 

Apparently, Lev, the little boy, had a sister, who had broken her arm. Abby helped her, and together with Mel, who you remembered was in the Seattle crew, they removed her arm, saving Yara from compartment syndrome. 

However, when Lev had gone back to the island of the Seraphites to talk to his mother, Yara and Abby had gone after him, which eventually resulted in Yara's death.

The leader of the Wolves, Isaac, wanted to kill Lev, and he was prepared to kill Abby as well if she didn't get out of the way. Abby had protected Lev, and after Isaac was shot Abby and Lev made their way away from the island. 

They had run into Manny, and after Abby explained what happened, they had decided to go back to Jackson, hoping to find shelter there. 

The little boy was a Seraphite, and because Abby protected him, she was seen as a traitor to her own people. However, she didn't mind. Lev was her people now, and she would do anything to protect him. It reminded you of Joel and yourself, and after hearing their story, you wanted to help.

Abby, Manny and Lev were given a house in Jackson, and they were each given tasks in which they could help out. They weren't required to do anything while they were still settling in, but if they wanted to help, they could.

Seeing as though you had been in Jackson quite some time, and you had connections with Tommy and Maria, you were assigned to help them out a bit. Show them how things work around Jackson, and help them settle in. It was to be assumed they would need some time to adjust, but you were pleasantly surprised when they seemed to be settling in quite well.

You had started taking a liking to Abby, however. She was strong and beautiful, kind and funny. You liked her, and you were pretty sure she liked you too.

a/n: part one of this au is done, yippie! I wasn’t sure how to end this, so enjoy the sloppy, terrible ending. I promise to do better by part two :)

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @tia-thesimp @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @n0txn3vee @lorsstar1st

[j0elmill3r]

isn’t it lovely?

Pairing/s: Ellie Williams x Miller!Reader, Joel Miller x Daughter!Reader, Tess Servopoulos x Daughter!Reader (Brief)

Request: Ellie x Miller reader ANGSTTTTT lol

Ellie finds out that the reader lied to her about what happened with the fireflies and ignores her? Just like Joel, but instead of Joel going golfing the reader does, or maybe they both I don’t know lol THANKS🫰

Summary: Ellie regrets being so cold and harsh towards you after finding out the truth about what happened at St Mary's Hospital.

CW: Angst, heart break, character death, Abby's golf skills are incredible

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Here we go, another fic were Miller reader goes golfing!

My Masterlist

You knew why Ellie wasn't talking to you - You had lied to her, betraying the trust that was crucial in your relationship; You had a feeling you deserved it, but you did what you did to protect her, to save your at the time 'best friend'.

You panted as you ran through the hospital, clutching your gun tightly as your feet smacked off of the linoleum flooring, the flashing red lights illuminating the halls of St Mary's hospital. Following the trail of bodies left by your dad, you made your way up to the room where they were operating on your best friend, deciding to take the backdoor, you nudged it open, just as your dad did at the door opposite you.

"Unhook her." Your dad demanded, aiming his gun at the surgeon in front of him. You looked over, noticing Ellie lying on the operating table, various machines beeping beside her, all sorts of wires coming in and out of her.

"No, I won't let you take her," The surgeon said to your father. No. You couldn't let this happen, you wouldn't let them take away your best friend, not today, not ever. Acting quickly, you shot the two nurses standing beside you in the chests, swiftly jumping to your feet from your crouching position. The surgeon had no time to react before you fired a shell into his head - Joel looked over at you, you couldn't tell if he was scared of you, or for you.

"Dad," Joel hugged you wordlessly, placing his chin on the crown of your head for a minute before turning to Ellie. "What do we do now?" You looked up at him, fear evident in your eyes. Joel sighed, looking at Ellie and then at you.

"We leave, go back to Jackson and stay with Tommy," You nodded, however, you couldn't ignore the feeling of guilt which bubbled in your stomach - the emotion was obviously clear on your face, since you could make out from the little light provided in the room. "We tell her that there were other's like her, okay? Now come on, we need to move. You shoot if you have to, understand?" You mulled the thought over and nodded, you hoped that you'd never crack if Ellie asked you - As bad as it sounded, some memory loss at this moment in time didn't actually sound too bad. It didn't make sense, you had come all this way for nothing - You watched your mother die for nothing, watched as Sam and Henry both died, been through the whole David situation with Ellie, had that all been in vain?

Sighing, you followed your dad - Just as you knew that you always would.

"Ellie, come on," You followed your girlfriend as she grabbed her stuff from your room, shoving it into her backpack harshly. She had found out about the hospital and what you and Joel had done. "I don't know what you want me to say, Els." She huffed, stopping shoving things into her bag as she stared you down.

"You lied to me, Y/N. You fucking lied to me," She spat. You looked away from you, unable to meet her harsh gaze, which you ultimately knew you were deserving of. "I don't know if I can ever forgive you, or your dad. I don't wanna talk to you for the time being, understood?" You nodded, tears filling your eyes as you looked away from her.

"Okay," Your voice broke as you spoke, still unable to watch as Ellie made her way out of your room. "I love you." You told her, your heart breaking as she just walked away wordlessly. You sighed in acceptance, realising that you had fucked up majorly this time. You watched through your window, making sure that Ellie got away safely.

In the days after, you noticed Ellie getting closer with her friend Dina, who you knew had recently broken up with her boyfriend, Jesse. Dina was gorgeous, and you saw the way that Ellie looked at her, she used to look at you the same way. But you and Ellie hadn't officially broken up, and you knew that Ellie wouldn't cheat on you, right? Maybe, not so right - Joel had dragged you to the small gathering in the church, which unbeknownst to him, Jesse, Ellie and Dina were attending.

"Dad, this is so stupid, I'm fine," You tried to convince him, furrowing your eyebrows and pouting as your dad chuckled.

"You haven't left the house in 4 days, you needed air and to talk to other people," Joel smiled, trying to get you to reciprocate the gesture - It however, didn't happen, since you were focused on the fact that Ellie and Dina were now locking lips - Thanks to Ellie's initiation.

So, this was why she had been ignoring you for the past 4 days. She had been planning her relationship with Dina? Your mind spiralled, had she been with Dina the whole time? Were you the other girl? Did she ever actually love you? Your stomach dropped, your heart cracking in two as the two girls pulled apart, you put your drink down on the table beside your dad, Joel looking over and realising what had upset you so much. "Baby girl." He called out for you, watching as you left the church. Ellie and Dina looked over to the doors which you stormed out of, and then looked over to Joel as he came over to them.

Joel loved Ellie as if she were one of his own - but you were his baby girl, and he couldn't stand by and let Ellie get away with hurting you like that.

"What?" Ellie asked him, her tone as if she were offended by Joel's very presence. Joel scoffed and raised his eyebrows at the girls audacity.

"Seriously? You do this to Y/N and you have the audacity to act like this? I know that you're not happy with her, but you never broke up with Y/N," Joel seethed. Dina excused herself and made her way back over to Jesse, who walked away from her - their relationship, similar to yours and Ellie's, had barely ended, and now she was here kissing Ellie. "I thought you were better than that." This time it was Ellie who scoffed, shaking her head at Joel.

"Really? That's really fucking ironic, Joel, since all you and Y/N did was lie to me for 5 years. I thought you were better than that," She spat. Joel sighed, he thought Ellie was being too harsh on you. You were still a child at the time, you just wanted to do good by your best friend and your father, you did what you did to protect Ellie just as he did - But he would take all of Ellie's anger towards you and take it himself, he would do it to see you happy with her again, but after this, he was unsure if he would be able to see you happy again. Joel shook his head and walked away from Ellie, saying goodbye to Tommy and Maria, and that you and him would see Tommy tomorrow for your patrol.

You grunted as you were thrown to the floor, your dad and uncle Tommy forced into the same position as you. The room was cold and dark, illuminated only by the soft white glow of the falling snow outside - You looked up at the girl in front of you, she couldn't have been much older than you were, but she was taller, more muscular. She looked down at you, anger in her eyes as she met yours but quickly looked away, making her way over to your dad, who sat by the window, a torniquet around his leg.

"Joel Miller," She seethed, crouching down in front of Joel.

Oh.

Oh, fuck. You knew this girl - She was in the hospital when you rescued Ellie, you heard her crying out for your father when you were clearing out the floor for supplies, which you had insisted on doing since you were the smallest and quietest, meaning you were less likely to get caught - Her dad was the surgeon you had killed. Your breathing picked up as you saw her pick up a golf club and inspect it, looking at it and then at your dad.

"Stop! I know why you're doing this," You called out, all eyes turning to you. "I killed your father in that hospital, not my dad." You told her. Joel's heart stopped - Were you trying to get yourself killed?

"Get her over here, get him down there." Abby demanded. You struggled and grunted as you were picked up by two strong men.

"Don't you fucking touch her!" Joel yelled out as he was held down, watching as you were punched in the face, near enough knocking you out. Heaving, Abby turned to Joel, looking down at him with the same golf club still in your hands. "I'll kill you if you lay a fucking hand on her, you hear?!"

"You don't get to rush this, old man," She said through gritted teeth, watching as Joel struggled in vain. He watched in trepidation, his heart pounding against his chest, the dull ache in his temple becoming stronger and stronger. He watched as Abby let out a grunt, swinging the golf club down onto your head, cracking it open with a sickening thud.

"No!" Joel cried out, watching as the spray of your blood stained the window behind you and you fell to the ground, groaning quietly. "I'll fucking kill you! I promise!" Joel threatened her, watching as she continuously kicked you in the stomach, then in the head to add insult to the crack in your skull.

Ellie followed the sound of Joel's screaming and threats down the stairs, gently opening the door - Her heart stopping at the sight in front of her. You lay on the ground, your head and face in a pool of your own blood, a woman standing in front of you holding a golf club which Ellie assumed she had used to crack your skull open.

"Y/N?!" She cried out, not caring about the others in the room. Abby turned to look at Ellie, and then looked at her crew.

"Pin her down," She instructed them, turning back to you as you lay on the floor, able to make out the form of Ellie, even as she struggled, you weakly smiled, your shallow breathing being the only sign of your fading life.

"No! Y/N!" Ellie cried out for you. "Y/N, please get up!" She begged, over and over she begged for your life to be spared, just as your father did before Ellie's arrival. "Please, please don't do this." Ellie pleaded with Abby, hoping that the girl would have a last minute change of heart.

But Ellie's hopes were crushed as she watched Abby raise the golf club above her head, and strike it down onto your head, delivering a fatal blow to your skull.

"No!" Ellie and Joel cried out at the same time, both noticing your blood dripping from the golf club. Abby tossed the golf club aside with a huff, sparing a glance at your sobbing father and friend as they made threats to end her life. Tired of what she assumed to be empty threats, she had Owen knock the two out so the group could move out and head off away from the scene, leaving you on the floor to continue bleeding out.

Ellie rubbed her eyes as she lay the flowers down at your headstone, guilt flooding her as she sat down cross-legged in front of your grave. Since your small funeral, Ellie had gone to see you once every day, the first day was when she forgave you for lying to her - She now realised that you were still a kid then, just as she was, you just wanted your dads approval so did whatever he thought was best. She also apologised for the ordeal at the party, but guilt constantly gnawed at her, she hoped that you hadn't died thinking that she didn't love you - Ellie loved you so much, but she was just so angry that it blinded her.

Despite her daily visits, Ellie couldn't find the words to speak to you - She also couldn't face Joel, but no one had seen or heard from him in the days since your death, his grief had consumed him entirely. At least there was one thing that could comfort Joel, that you were back with your mom.

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𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 Part four 🧰💖

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💖 Pairing: Joel Miller x Virgin!Fem!Reader

🧰 Setting: Lincoln. Reader is Bill and Frank's daughter.

💖 Synopsys: Joel wakes you up with the news that he's leaving. And you have a hard time accepting that he's gonna okay outside by himself.

🧰 Features: Tiny little bit of touching, kissing and teasing at the beginning, but no smut for this one. Reader and Joel mention their past. Sarah is mentioned.

💖 Word Count: Around 7.5k.

🧰 About This: This one is scary for me for having no smut. So be nice to it, okay? Hopefully we learn a bit more about them and their relationship along the way.

💖 Author's Note: It took me forever (again) but it's yours 🩷

Angel.

The pet name never made more sense to him than right now.

Joel stands by your bedroom door, watching you sleep as the still soft moonlight entering your windows gently lightens your features. He smiles seeing the peaceful expression on your face — a rare sight nowadays.

He locks your door and carefully walks close to you, sitting on the edge of your bed and watching your body rise and fall with your soft and calm breathing.

He leans down over you, caging your body under his torso. He fixes your hair, pressing a sweet kiss on your temple and rubbing his nose affectionately on yours. You moan frustrated and furrow your brows, upset that someone's waking you up.

"Shh, it's just me, angel." He whispers gently, and you snuggle closer to him, smiling before even opening your eyes, his voice enough of a reassurance for you to look for his body.

He lays down by your side, opening his arms, pulling you into his embrace. When your head touches his chest he wraps his arms around you, hugging you tight.

"Morning, baby." He whispers, rubbing his nose on top of your head, your face buried on his chest, smelling his scent.

You moan lazily in response, wrapping your arms around him.

"Did you sleep well?" He asks, caressing your hair. You nod and hum in response, throwing your leg over his hips, giving him a full body hug, wanting to be as close as you can.

"Better if you were with me."

"Hmm, I know, baby, wish I could stay. Would sleep so well with you like this." He agrees, hugging you tighter and caressing your thigh.

"You got me real tired, though, slept like a baby." You add, and he hums, laughing softly, just holding you in silence for a bit.

When he feels your body softening under him and hears a low snoring, he squeezes your sides softly until you wake up, laughing.

"Do you wanna go make some breakfast? I'm hungry." He says, cupping the nape of your neck, caressing the hair covering it.

"But it's still a bit dark out." You say, opening your eyes for the first time and turning your head to look at the window, noticing the sun had yet not fully risen, and it was still early for breakfast.

"I know, but I have to leave early if I want to have as much sunlight as I can." He says, startling you.

Leave?

"Leave?" You ask, abruptly supporting yourself on your elbow to look in his eyes, glimmering with the faint moonlight lightening your room.

Suddenly you're wide awake.

He laughs, pushing you back down onto him. You lay down but keep your head away from him, watching his face.

"I was talking to your dads last night. About the things you need here." Oh...

He's not leaving leaving. Your heart finds a more comfortable rythym.

"On our way here Tess and I saw a few big department stores that your dads said they've never been to. Some may still have some things." He adds.

"You think you're still gonna find stuff just laying around?" You ask, your tone unintentionally bitter as you snuggle back to his chest, a newfound need to stay close to him taking over you with the news that he's leaving Lincoln for the day.

"Not all the stuff, I mean, supplies and hygiene are out of sight. But there may be some tools and other things your dads need. Frank said he wanted some paint to renovate the houses and stores." He explains. "Stuff like that I may find still."

"You're going by yourself?"

"Yeah, no need for anyone else. Should be smooth, go out, see what I can find, come back." He nonchalantly states, like if there was nothing to worry about outside the Lincoln fences. "Is there anything you want besides seeds? Those I won't find there."

"I don't know, don't think so. Dad wanted some paint, to work on a few things around our house." You say, your words still a bit fogged by sleep.

"Frank?" He asks.

"Uhum."

"Baby, I just told you that." He laughs.

"Hm, sorry." You laugh back, squeezing his back.

"Still sleeping, I see, my poor baby. Something got you too tired last night." He mocks you, squeezing your sides and messing your hair playfully, making you laugh.

"Stop it." You squeeze him back, digging your nails on his back until he stops. "He says we need to take care of this place. To make it look pretty." You try to change topics.

"He's right. Most of the houses here are in good conditions, just need some work to be habitable again. You need to take care of it."

You're too afraid of the answer to ask him why he was looking into the houses.

"So what do you say? Breakfast?" He asks quickly to take your mind out of it.

"Sure. Just gotta get ready first."

"Hmm, and what are you gonna do?" He asks, his voice barely audible.

"Shower, brush my hair, my teeth, moisturize, put on something nice, some perfume for you." You say, leaning closer to him to give him a kiss.

"Hmm, sounds good. Can I stay with you?" He lays on his back and pulls you on top of his chest.

"Can you pick my clothes for me while I shower?" You suggest, rolling on top of him, straddling his hips, sitting on him.

"My honor." He answers and you bend down to give him another kiss, a slow, savoured one, that gets even deeper with the thought of him leaving, being outside all on his own.

Something he's done thousands of times, but none of them after you two met.

He sits up, and you wrap your legs around his hips, never breaking the kiss. You feel his ziper against your panties and roll your hips with a soft moan.

"You've got some hormones on you, don't you baby?" He laughs, squeezing your ass and moving both of you closer to the edge of the bed, dropping his legs to the floor.

"It's your fault for making it feel so good." You respond with a smile, running your fingers through his soft, greying hair.

"I'll take it." He laughs, pressing your hips onto his lap one last time. "But I really need to leave early, and this won't be quick." He says, pushing you gently away from him and kissing the usual pout forming on your lips.

You get up, supporting yourself on his shoulders.

You stretch your arms towards the ceiling, and he runs his hands on your sides, their rough texture tingling your skin on their way. You lower your arms, hugging his head, smelling his hair while pressing his face on your chest.

He snuggles onto your chest, his hands, still under your shirt, squeezing your upper back, pulling you even closer to him.

When he pulls on the hem of your shirt you laugh, pulling his head away just enough to kiss his lips until he passes the shirt by your head, removing it from your body.

He tosses it on the bed besides him and kisses your belly, trailing kisses from your bellybutton to your breasts. He looks at you for any signs that he should stop, smiling when you lean down to kiss his forehead. With that he kisses his way around your left nipple, taking it in his mouth and sucking softly on it, humming when you moan, smiling and biting your lips.

You pull softly on his hair when he lets go, quickly sucking the other one into his mouth, his hands squeezing your back and reaching for the waistband of your pijama shorts and panties.

He gently pulls them down, his hands spread over your skin, squeezing your hips as he trailed kisses down your stomach. He pulls away and looks at you, admiring your exposed figure.

"You're a beautiful woman, baby. So, so pretty." He praises, his brows furrowing with his own words, his eyes wandering around your skin. "So soft, so..." He hesitates. "...perfect for me." He finishes, and you smile.

"So yours." You whisper back, and he gets up, pulling you into a kiss, his arms glued to your waist as he walks you backwards towards your bathroom. When you reach it he breaks the kiss.

"All mine." He says on your lips. "Now go take your shower." He squeezes your hips one last time and turns you around.

You get in the shower and he goes to your wardrobe to look at the options — plenty more than the ones he's seen yet. He goes by color; which ones he'd like to see you wearing last before leaving.

He picks a tight yellow shirt and a short white skirt. Then he picks a white pair of underwear. He runs his hands over them, feeling the fabric before setting them carefully on top of your bed. When he's finished, he goes to your window to watch the sun rise on the horizon.

...

When you stop the water he goes to sit on your bed.

He scans your bedroom while he hears you brushing your teeth. Right besides the bathroom door he finds a large painting that gets his attention. It's the view from your window, portraying a sunny day.

It's beautiful, and he's only able to look away from it when an even better view comes in — as you walk out the bathroom wrapped in a towel, holding the bottle of body oil Frank made you.

The air feels thicker, harder to suck in while his eyes trail your still not fully explored — and unfortunately covered — body.

You walk towards him and he pulls you closer, until you're in between his legs. You handle him the bottle, and he gently pulls the towel off your body, running his hands up your sides, mimicking how he touched you before you showered.

He runs his large hands up your back and gives one of your nipples a peck, sucking it in his mouth and pulling away when you moan.

"Can't get distracted now." He says with a smile, opening the bottle and smelling the oil. "Just like you." He whispers, kissing your belly and pouring a bit of the liquid on his hands before closing the bottle and giving it back to you.

He spreads the oil in his palms, starting with your waist and spreading it all over your torso, kneading your breasts when he gets to them, opening his palms for you to pour more oil on them.

You do it and he spreads the oil over your arms and your neck, turning you around to apply it on your butt and your legs, moving his hands slowly and intentionally, massaging your flesh as he goes.

He palms your inner thigh, and his index finger brushes on your folds, spreading some of the oil on them.

He turns you back around and palms your other inner thigh, the side of his index finger once again brushing against your folds.

This time he pushes his finger higher, in between them, making you moan when he moves back and forth, intentionally touching your core.

Your clit throbs with the stimulation and he hums, his other hand squeezing your back and your hips.

He continues his movements for a few seconds, his rough fingers mimicking what his cock did the night before, and you moan at how different it feels. How much softer and gentle the skin of his cock felt against your sensitive skin, that is now almost being bruised by his hand.

He kisses your bellybutton, and you look down at him, finding his eyes on you. You smile and lean down to kiss him, breaking the kiss to grab your panties, seeing how long getting ready is gonna take if he's in charge.

"I thought you were in a hurry." You say, pulling away from him and putting your panties on.

"I'm gonna have all the sunlight I need tomorrow, I don't mind wasting time like this." He shrugs, and you freeze.

Tomorrow?

"I thought you were coming back today." You say as he grabs your shirt and helps you put your arms through it.

"No, baby." He laughs softly. "I've got lots of stores to look at, and they're pretty far away. Maybe I could come back today, but I wanna take my time." He patiently explains, grabbing your skirt and opening it for you to put it on.

"And where are you gonna spend the night?" You ask while supporting yourself on his shoulders and stepping into the skirt.

"Gonna look for a place." He says while lifting the skirt, his fingers leaving subtle goosebumps on their way up.

"Aren't you gonna waste a bunch of time looking for a safe place?" You ask, wiggling your hips to get into it with your still oily skin.

"I promise I'll look quickly for a place, and if I can't find it I'll just be fast and come back." He says, slightly less patient. "Did you paint that?" He points to the painting of your window view, trying to dismiss the topic.

You look at it, but you're not happy with the news that he's gonna be out by himself for the whole night.

"No. Couldn't you use that time to look for things instead, so you can come back today?" You ask while reaching for the shirt he picked, and he shoots you a stern look.

Joel wasn't used to have someone question him, caring about him. So he didn't know how to react to it. His first instinct was to cut it, to tell you to leave him alone, to stop being so stubborn.

Because that's one thing you know how to be.

But he knew there was no intrusion in your questions; there was no trying to tell him what to do. There was only concern.

Still it was hard to shake off the annoyance your stubbornness set on him.

"I'll try to rush and find everything today. If I can't I'll look tomorrow too. That's settled." He states, the dryness of his tone new to you.

But for some reason it doesn't feel bad, like when your dads talk to you like this. It feels... Different when Joel does it.

"You could come back to spend the n—." You say quietly, but he stops you.

"I won't come back here to spend the night because it's too far and it's gonna take too long." His annoyance still present.

You wait for a few seconds, trying to bite your tongue and not ask any more questions.

But needless to say... You can't.

"Can I go?" You ask, with the smile of who knows the answer.

"No." He says, shaking his head.

"Why not?" You ask.

"Because I don't wanna babysit you." He says, laughing, and you frown.

"I don't need babysitting." You say. You've been out before. Your dad taught you how to handle yourself.

"I know. But I won't be relaxed if you're with me. Will be worrying about you." He says, hugging you tight, looking up at you.

"And how am I gonna know if you're coming back today or not?" You ask and he sighs, burying his face on your chest, taking deep breaths.

"She's just worried, she's not trying to tell you what to do." He reminds himself.

He holds your waist, his hands firmly squeezing you, pulling you even closer to him. He looks into your eyes, his own gaze softening at the amount of concern he finds on them.

"If I'm not back by dusk then I'm not returning today, baby. Won't be walking around at night in a place I'm not familiar with." He says, more calm. "I've been out by myself enough times to know how to take care of myself, you really don't need to worry about me." He adds.

It takes you a beat to get convinced, but his big brown eyes and his reassuring smile make it hard to not believe him.

"Alright, then let's hurry so you don't waste any more time." You say before taking your body oil back to the bathroom. "C'mon, let's go." You say as you grab an old bucket hat on your wardrobe and pull him up by his arm.

The sky's still brightening up when you walk towards the small plantation your dads have built along the years.

Joel insisted he'd carry the eggs, and you're carrying empty tote bags and a small notebook where you keep track of your crops.

He's been awfully quiet since you've left your bedroom, and you're almost power walking to keep up with his large steps. You grab his forearm when you reach him again.

"Are you mad at me? " You ask, almost out of breath, your tone already apologetic.

"No... No baby, I'm not." He says, noticing that you're struggling to keep up with him and slowing down. "Sorry, I'm distracted, didn't notice you were staying behind."

"It's fine."

"I'm not mad at you." He reassures you. "But I know what I'm doing, and I just don't like to be asked so many questions." When he's with you being honest feels easier to him, it's like you pull honesty out of him.

"You don't like it, or you're not used to it?" You ask, and he looks away, piercing his lips, furrowing his brows.

He looks back down at you before looking back forward.

You keep walking in silence for a while, the chirping of birds and your footsteps filling your surroundings.

"My dad painted it for me." You say, and he looks down at you, furrowing his eyebrows. "The painting in my bedroom." You explain, and he hums, remembering it. "Sometimes during winter I can get pretty blue, so he painted that for me to hang in front of the window when the weather gets too upsetting."

"That's nice. And he's really good.." He says with a smile, a genuine admiration in his tone, both for Frank's parenting and his art skills. "Do you know how to paint?"

"Oh, no." You laugh. "He tried to teach me, but it never turns out good. I can never make it look like the real thing." You say, reaching the plantation and walking to the vegetables you need for breakfast.

"Like a photo?" He asks, carefully measuring his steps to not step on any crops.

"Yeah, like a photo." You say, kneeling down where some potatoes, carrots and tomatoes are planted.

"Tomato?" He asks, setting the tote bag with the eggs on the ground next to him.

"Yeah. Just count how many ripen ones there are before you take any, so I can keep track of them, please."

He nods and kneels in front of them with a quiet grunt, carefully analyzing each one of the red, ripen ones.

"How many do we need?" He asks.

"How many are there?"

"Seven."

"Alright, we just need one."

"Okay. Taking one, gonna be six left." He confirms and you write it down on your notebook.

"Thank you." You say while you start trying to pull a carrot out of the soil. "Do you have anything to eat while you're away?" You ask.

"Yeah, some jerky." He says, not able to hold back the dissatisfaction with the dryed food as he watches you fight the vegetable.

"Did we eat all your Chef Boyardee yesterday?" You ask, looking up at him, scrunching your nose and grunting as you struggle to pull the carrot, and he laughs.

"Yeah, we did, actually." He admits, tapping your hands gently so you let go of the carrot and pulling on it right after, effortlessly pulling it out of the ground and rubbing the soil out if it.

"Alright, gotta make you something then." You say. "But what?" You wonder, and he looks at you. "I mean, it has to be something that's gonna taste good when cold, so you don't have to start a fire and catch any attention. Also it can't go bad too quickly." You rant, thinking out loud about what you could cook him.

You're excited by the idea of cooking him something, to imagine him outside the fences, all by himself, but eating something you made him. How he will think about you while eating, how he'll have energy because you cooked him something.

It feels good to think about taking care of him.

And he's just as lost in thought as you are.

Looking at you, his mind analyzing your face; how it shines under the bright sunlight, how your dad's old hat shades your face and how even with it, you still scrunch your eyes when you look up at him. How your nose scrunches along with your eyes, how you smudge your cheeks when you push some hair away from them.

You look up at him and hold his gaze for a second, his eyes scanning your face, a silly, distracted smile on his lips.

He licks his thumb and leans closer to you, cleaning your cheeks, right where you just touched.

"You've got dirt on your face." He whispers with a soft smile, his voice barely leaving his lips.

You lean in closer to him, but he puts his hand in front of your chest, looking over his shoulders, towards your house.

"No, baby. I've told you we can't." He says.

"Ugh, but it's so hard sometimes." You playfully whine with a smile, and he laughs.

"I know, but we have to keep it between us for now." He explains.

For now?

"I think my dad knows about us." You say before thinking, and he frowns.

"Bill?" He asks, his wide eyes giving in his fear.

"No... He'd have killed you by now." You nonchalantly state. "Frank. He asked me a few times how I felt about you."

"Hmm. And what did you tell him?" He asks with a cocky smirk, playing it cool even though he's genuinely curious to know what you've told your dad about him.

And what your dad thought about it.

"Nothing you should worry about. Nothing I haven't told you already." You say, laughing.

"And how do you know he's not gonna tell Bill?" He asks, standing up and offering his arm for you.

"Gonna grab another tomato." You say. "He said I could trust him, that if dad ever has to know, he'll know. But he won't rush anything."

He grunts, unsure about how he should feel knowing Frank somehow knows about you two.

"There's this thing my dad makes us... It's shredded chicken mixed with some creamy cheese or sauce. We eat it cold, kinda like a spread." You say, asking for his hand, and he helps you up. "What do you think? Could make you some pancakes or crackers to go along with it." You stand close to him, and he takes the bag with tomatoes and carrots from you.

"You don't have t—." He starts, bending down to grab the bag with the eggs.

"I'm cooking you something. That's settled." You repeat his words from earlier, trying to replicate his almost angry tone. Judging from his face, though, you don't sound as stern as he did. "What do you say?"

"Anything you can make me is great, baby. Can be anything." He says, smiling.

"Alright, chicken spread then. With pancakes. Maybe some roasted potatoes too." You say and he laughs. "Let's go back, got a lot to do." And you start walking, him following you close.

...

You walk silently for a bit, enjoying each other's company and taking in the — now stronger — sunlight.

"Did you think about anything you want?" He asks.

"What I want?" You ask, confused, noticing you're the one who's walking too fast this time, as he's a few steps behind you.

"Yeah. From outside. I wanna know what you want. For you, though, not the town. Not seeds, not paint. Something for you." He says, smiling, reaching you as you slow down. "A gift." He adds.

You rarely got any gifts, because there are no gifts to be given or dates to celebrate. And to imagine him looking for something for you, to think that he thinks about you, that he wants to make you happy...

It makes your chest hurt. But in a good way.

"Clothes, maybe? I'm getting tired of my own." You say, but regret instantly. "I mean, it's not important." You rush to say, feeling silly for asking for something so frivolous. "I just wish I had different things to wear." You say, your voice lower.

It takes him a few seconds to respond.

"Alright, that sounds important to me. But you gonna trust my fashion sense?" He asks, laughing.

"Oh you look at me enough to know what I like to wear, Joel." You joke, smiling seeing how his cheeks redden and his eyes soften.

"Fair. I'll just choose what I like, then. What I wanna see you wearing." He says, looking down at you. Noticing how nicely your shirt outlines your breasts, how curvy your hips look in that skirt, how he never thought he'd see someone like you ever again.

A true blessing, if you ask him.

"Just don't choose anything too short..." You say, mentioning the skirt he chose for you to wear today. "Or too small. My dads don't like it when I wear those near you, they wouldn't like you giving me something like that." You add. "Unless it's really pretty! Then take it and I'll tell them I asked for something similar." You say quickly and he laughs.

"Alright. Maybe I can bring you one or two things you'll wear only for me?" He asks, his tone suggestive but playful, and you hit him with your elbow, laughing.

You hope he does.

"Aren't you gonna look for something for yourself?" You ask, and he shrugs.

"Haven't thought about it." He admits. "I never go out to look for things I want. Just things I need."

"Don't you have any hobbies, anything you like to do?" You ask as you two arrive at your house.

He thinks for a second.

Hobbies and fun seem like such odd, far concepts for him nowadays. He doesn't have the time, energy or desire to do anything, ever.

But as soon as you ask, he remembers things that brought him joy in the past.

"I liked to play the guitar. Haven't done it since this whole thing started."

"A guitar sounds fun." You encourage him, opening the kitchen door and stepping in. "Maybe you could try and find me one too." You say, then you gasp and turn around to look at him with wide eyes. "Then you could teach me how to play it! Then we could play it and the piano together!"

He nods, holding your forearm, a small and sweet smile on his lips. He looks around quickly and licks his lips before giving you a long peck on the lips.

"It'll be at the top of my list." He laughs.

It will, actually. Anything for you is gonna be a priority.

You made omelettes and he made some orange juice. You're both eating while you prepare the food he's gonna take with him.

He's sitting on a stool, eating and watching you.

Daydreaming with a life in Lincoln, with having a routine like this. Waking up with you, picking your vegetables, making breakfast, eating together.

He doesn't know what would come after.

Could be go out and hunt or look for supplies, could be help your dads with whatever, could be sit down and make small talk, or just go back to bed and have a slow, lazy day with you, cuddling, talking and napping.

Anything sounded incredible as long as he knew by the end of the day he'd lay down holding you, feeling your body soften on top of his, and knowing he'd have the whole next day by your side.

Peace, at last. A slow, safe and comfortable life with someone to love, someone to care for.

Someone to love him, to care for him.

His fantasies are cut by your — neverending, he swears — curiosity.

"Can I ask you something?" You ask, focused on the pans in front of you.

"You just did." He says, and you turn back to look at him, finding him with a wide, silly smile on his face, his cheeks red. You can't help but offer him the same.

His jokes sometimes are exactly like the ones your dads make — specially Bill.

"How was it for you? The day it happened." You ask, shredding the chicken.

His expression changes. He locks eyes on the plate in front of him, and you notice he may not want to talk about it.

"You don't have to... I mean, we don't have to talk about it. I'm sorry." You add, noticing how reviving the day seems to affect him.

"No. It's, fine. I just... Just don't talk about it very often." He reassures you, a quick smile flashing on his lips before he eats another bite of his breakfast.

After that he goes silent, and you feel bad for asking.

"I had my name... embroidered on my clothes." You say, trying to bring the attention to you and not force him to tell his story. "My full name."

"So we call you by your actual name?" He asks, eating more.

"Uhum. Dad says he thought he should respect my parents decision, you know." You explain. "But he doesn't know when I was born. So we celebrate my birthday on the outbreak day."

"Really?" He asks.

"Really. He actually says it's his father-birthday, because he became one that day." You say, and Joel smiles, but you sense something else along with happiness in his smile.

He smiles to himself for a second. Thinking about Sarah. About how he misses being a father, how good it feels to be one.

How you and Bill remind him of himself and Sarah. How he cared for her the same way your dad cares about you.

"It was my birthday." He says, and you turn to look at him.

"No!" You gasp, it has to be a coincidence.

"Yeah. My last gift." He mentions the broken watch in his wrist.

"Is that why you still have it?" You ask, smiling.

"Yeah... That's why." He says quietly, smiling at the watch.

"Do you have anyone...? Any family?" You ask.

"I do. A brother." He says, thinking about him, how he must be handling things while he's away.

"Is he... You know... Alive?" You ask, almost whispering.

"Yeah, I'm not sure how." He laughs. "But he is."

"Does he live in the QZ with you and Tess?"

Thinking about Tess... About him and Tess, still makes your heart freeze for a second.

"He does. But he works with some people that... Like to believe they're doing something, that make him do stupid things all the time. So I'm constantly just saving his ass. Just like the day it happened. I was watching a movie, then he called me. Came back home to run away from the infected."

"It was all really just one day, right? My dads say everything just went down so quickly. Barely any time to prepare or do anything. I mean, Frank says that. Bill was prepared since ever."

"Yeah. One minute you hear an helicopter, the next there's a bomb, the next an airplane falling down—" He goes through the things he saw that day.

"An airplane?" You cut him, shocked.

"Yeah. Right behind our car." He says.

"Wow... I wish I remembered something about it."

"Not many good things to remember about that day, baby." He says, and you shrug. You know there aren't. "Where did your dad find you, again?" He asks, almost finishing his food.

"He says I was on a road near here, never let me get near there."

"Huh..." He says, thinking about all the skeletons he saw on his way to Lincoln. "He's right, baby. There's nothing for you to see there." He tells you with sympathetic eyes.

"Sometimes I think about them, you know. I think about what happened to them, what they looked like. God — I wish I knew what my mom looked like." You say, feeling your eyes and nose burn as your smile grows wider.

"I bet she was really pretty, just like you." He says, and you find a shy, sweet smile on his lips when you look over at him.

"I wish I had a photo of her, like dad has of grandma." You say.

"I have a photo too." He mumbles, the words leaving his lips before he decides if he's ready to share them with you or not

"Of your brother?" You ask, curious to see what another Miller man would look like.

Not that you think he could get your attention away from Joel.

"No... Not of my brother." He says, pausing to see if you're gonna take the subject somewhere else. Hoping you would.

"Of your mom or dad?" You ask.

Should he...?

He can't not tell you forever.

It's your right to now. To learn about it before deciding if you still wanna be with him.

"Of Sarah." He says, his voice small. "But it's getting old, starting to fade away." He rushes to add, as if trying to take your attention away from the name.

"Who's Sarah?" You ask, and he looks at you, his eyes red.

Where they red before?

He sniffs, then cleans his hands on his jeans and reach for something in his pocket.

He grabs a sort of wallet, and removes a small photo from it. The little girl in it is fading, but you can still perfectly see her. Her big eyes, even bigger smile, her beautiful curls.

"Oh, Joel... Was she...?" You start, the words sticking in your throat, not leaving your mouth. He hums in response.

That's why he didn't seem to want to talk about it.

Maybe that's why he was so hesitant in doing something with you.

"She was beautiful, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." He laughs, his voice already threatening to break.

"She was." You say with a smile, still processing the new information.

"You'd love her. You two would be really good friends." He says.

"I bet we would." You say.

"She'd love you too." He says with a smile, tears starting to fall from his eyes.

"When did she...?" You ask and he looks at you, his eyes heavy. "I'm sorry, that's stupid. You don't have to." You add, and he smiles, thanking you for letting go of it.

"I gotta get going, it's getting late." He says, trying to take his mind away from such painful memories.

"But I haven't finished your food yet." You say quietly.

"It's okay, I'll wait, baby. Just gonna get my stuff ready, see if your dad's awake, gotta talk to him." He says, getting up and bringing his dishes to the sink.

"I can wash them for you, go sort your things." You say when he grabs the sponge.

He reluctantly lets go of it, looking outside the kitchen before hugging your waist from the side and kissing the top of your head.

"Thank you, angel." He whispers, and you smile back at him, watching as he takes his photo back, puting it back in his wallet and walking out the kitchen.

After a few seconds you hear him greet Bill, and you focus on finishing his food quickly so he can be outside for as little as possible.

You store his food on three separate containers. One for today, one for tomorrow, and one for backup.

You also made him a large bottle of coffee.

You take them to his bedroom and find him packing his backpack with a flashlight, a change of clothes and a bunch of other, empty bags.

"Hey." You say softly, and he turns to look at you, his frown dissolving instantly. "Your food's ready. Also made you some coffee, it's gonna be warm inside this bottle." You say, walking into his bedroom and handing it to him.

"Thank you, baby." He says as he takes the bottle. "Heavy." He smiles when he grabs the food.

"Ever seen your size?" You tease him.

"Too big?" He looks down at his stomach.

"Perfect." You respond touching his stomach, and his smile widens. He grabs your hand and gives it a kiss.

You sit on the edge of his bed, and he looks at the door.

"I'm just sitting, nothing else." You defend yourself. "We can't even talk?" You ask, a genuine frustration in your tone.

"No, baby. You're right, it's okay, I'm sorry." He says, cupping your cheek. "Thank you, gonna be a lot better than jerky." He says, lifting the container with his food, leaning down to kiss your head, right where you've parted your hair. You can feel his warm lips on your scalp, and his hot breath when he whispers: "Thank you."

"Least I could do, you're risking yourself to look for things for us." You say. "Had to show you we can take care of you as well."

"You've shown me that enough, baby." He teases, and you feel all of your blood rushing to your cheeks.

"I mean it, Joel." You playfully kick him. "You're staying here to help us, and you didn't have to. You are doing a lot." You say, trying to dismiss the wide smile on your lips.

There was really not much in for him, they had a deal either way, even if he chose to not stay and help your dads around.

"Your dads weren't the reason I stayed, you know." He says, looking at you. You smile seeing his big eyes scrunched by his own smile.

It feels almost like time stops when you stare at each other like this. Like God himself is giving you an opportunity to look into Joel, to try and read him, try and see in his eyes if he would ever consider staying, being with you.

If you're being silly for allowing such feelings and hopes go set roots inside you.

You do your best to sustain his gaze, but eventually fail, looking at his backpack.

"Is there anything else you need? Do you have enough water?"

"I think so." He says, showing you a large water bottle.

"Hmm. Don't you want another one? We've got a big one just like yours." You offer.

"No, it's fine, baby. Thank you." He smiles, wondering if you're not gonna offer to go in his place as well.

But you just sit in his bed, making him silent company while he finishes packing.

"Are there any colors I shouldn't bring?" He asks.

"For the paint or the clothes?" You ask.

"Your clothes." He responds. "I'm not actually bringing any paint, just gonna check if there's still any. If there are Bill said he'll go take then by car. Much faster." He adds.

"Couldn't he drive you there?" You ask, frustrated.

"Baby... We've been through this, huh? I know what I'm doing." He says.

It's not like you can help it though. You worry about him.

But for some reason sometimes it's hard to go against his word.

So you try and trust him.

"I don't really love blue, or every shade of green. So maybe stay on the warmer colors." You say.

"Why did you let me choose the blue dress, then?" He asks.

"For the bonfire?" You ask.

"Yeah, the one we chose yesterday." He says, not packing anymore, just waiting for your response.

"Hmm... Cause you liked it. And I want to wear something you like." You explain. "And it's not like I don't like blue, I love that dress. Blue is just a hit or miss, tricky color for me."

He grunts, making a mental note to not bring anything blue.

"What if I look for a dress for the bonfire, then?" He suggests, and you can't hold back the wide smile spread on your lips.

"Only if you find something you like more than the blue dress." You say, almost giggling.

"Gonna look for it then." He says. "Nothing blue or green, though."

Once again, a comfortable silence fills the room while you watch him concentrate on his backpack, muttering his checklist to make sure he has everything he needs.

And he likes that about you.

How you know when to leave him at it, to let him focus on what he needs to, and doesn't just ask for his attention all the time.

"Alright, now the most important ones." He says, packing his food. You smile, but when you notice he's done, you feel your chest tighten, and you shift in his bed.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay by yourself?" You can't help but ask.

"I think Joel's more than capable of handling himself, pumpkin." Bill says from the bedroom door, startling you.

But he doesn't scare Joel, who seemed to notice your father before you.

"I know he is. But I don't like to think of anyone outside the fences." You say, getting up to hug your dad.

He gratefully accepts the hug, wrapping his arms fondly around you, soothing you.

"Told her I've done this a million times. But she keeps asking these questions." Joel tells Bill.

"She worries too much." Bill says with a smile, pulling your face away from his chest and caressing your cheeks.

"I care. It's different." You say, leaving the room frustrated.

Of course you care.

You love your parents.

Maybe you're starting to love Joel...

How could you not worry?

They look at one another, confused.

"You're leaving already?" Bill asks, and he nods, putting his backpack on his back.

"Yeah. Gonna need my guns, though." Joel says, and Bill nods.

"Gonna take them. Meet you at the gate."

With that he leaves, and Joel follows after a few seconds, stopping on your bedroom.

He knocks gently on the door. When you don't respond he opens it slowly, finding you by your window.

He calls your name, and you look at him.

"Hey, baby. You gonna come down?" He asks.

"Don't know." You say, thinking about the questions Bill would ask if you hugged Joel in front of him.

"I can't go out without a goodbye hug." He says, coming close to you.

You don't hesitate in wrapping your arms around him, squeezing him tight, wanting to memorize his touch, his warmth. How he feels, how safe you feel in his arms.

"A see-you-tomorrow hug." You correct him.

You can't help the few tears rolling down your cheeks.

"I'm sorry for being so... Me sometimes." He starts. "I like how you care about me. Just don't wanna see you worried." He says, caressing your hair.

You pull on his shirt, squeezing his back.

"I'm sorry. My dads never leave, and when they do is by car, just for an hour or so. They never slept outside, I'm not used to it." You explain, your voice giving your tears in.

He pulls his head away, holding your cheeks, reading your face.

"I promise I'll be careful, huh? More than I've ever been. And I'll come back as soon as I can. In one piece. I have a good reason to." He says, smiling. And you smile back.

"Thank you." You say, and he kisses you softly, slowly rolling his tongue around yours, savoring your taste, memorizing it.

You melt in his arms, letting him take full control of you, hold you in place and keep you steady.

Indulging in him, his strong arms around you, his warmth against your chest, his beard scratching your face, his tongue rolling around yours.

Before you're ready to, he pulls away, licking his lips and looking into your eyes, his face inches away from yours.

"Miss you already. Won't sleep half as well without you." You say, squeezing him.

He laughs, staring into your eyes and kissing your forehead before walking out your bedroom, stopping at the door to look at you before walking down the stairs.

When you look it the window, you lock eyes with Frank, finding his arms crossed and a worried expression in his face. You feel a chill run down your spine, goosebumps cover your arms as he shakes his head.

'Please, don't.' You mouth, and he looks away from you.

You run down the stairs, and when you get to the door, Joel's just stepped out, and you arrive in time to listen to Frank greet him.

"Hey, Joel." He says, his expression not as friendly as always, besides his smile. "Thank you for this, Bill would've never let me go out for something so... Unessential as he calls it."

"Yeah, no problem. Gonna look for somethings for her too." Joel says, turning to look at you and smiling.

"For you too." You add, and he shrugs.

"Also, Bill asked for some tools. So it's not gonna be that unessential." He says, and Frank smiles, but you don't. And he notices your tension. "Are you alright?" He half whispers to you, and you just smile weakly and nod.

Bill joins you, standing besides Frank and looking at you and Joel, his frown as big as ever when looking at the two of you.

"C'mon. I'll give them to you at the gate." He tells Joel, who discreetly squeezes your hand before following your dad, not looking back.

You then experience something you never had.

You're afraid of Frank. You're afraid and you're embarrassed.

You just stand besides him, shifting your body weight from one foot to the other, silently watching your dad tap Joel in the back, give him his gun and one of his own. As well as a box full of ammo.

Then Joel walk past the gates, then there's the smile he offers all of you — and you selfishly claim as all yours —, then he walks away.

And your eyes burn. They burn but you hold whatever amount of tears they're ready to spill.

When you turn to go back inside, Frank holds your forearm.

"You and I are gonna have a very long conversation, young lady." He tells you sternly, and you flinch with the anger he's making sure to let cover his words.

Your parents have never been mad at you. Frank never talked to you with nothing but tenderness. You don't even know how you should feel about it.

"Okay." Your whisper, walking in and going back to your bedroom.

You spend the whole day thinking.

Thinking about Joel, how he's doing, if he's okay, if he needs something.

Thinking about your dad. About what he's thinking. How he's feeling. What is he gonna tell you, what is he gonna do?

Dusk comes, and you're on your bedroom window, watching the gates. As the sky goes dark and there's no sign of him, you feel your nose burn, and your eyes get wetter.

Before you drown in worry, you hear a gentle knock on the door. You turn around and find your dad, Frank, looking at you.

"Hi." You say quietly.

"Dinner's ready. He's not coming back today, let's go eat." He says, the dryness of his tone unfamiliar to you.

He stands by the door, and you know he's not gonna leave before you do. So you get up and walk towards the door. When you reach him he puts his arm in front of your chest.

"We're not doing this right now, but I'm really, really upset. We'll talk about this when your dad isn't around, but for now... Nothing happened." He says.

"I'm sorry." You say, not holding his gaze.

"I really thought I could trust you, darling." He says, and you sense more sadness than anger in him.

"Didn't wanna make you mad." You say, and he sighs.

"Well, if you've told me I wouldn't be mad. I didn't know you two were that close. I would've talked to him. Talked to you! There's so much you don't know, my dove." He says, lowering his voice when he almost yells.

"I'm sorry, dad." You really are, but right now you can't say much more than that. So you walk past him, going downstairs and trying to behave as normally as possible in front of your dad.

Trying not to show any shame, any worries.

Just act like nothing happened.

I'm really sorry it takes me so long to write this series. I really am. I just love it and want it to be as matured and thought out as possible, so I sit with it for as long as I can.

But I'm already working on the next part, and I'll really prioritize it 🩷

I hope you liked it! Feedback for this one is highly appreciated, I really wanna know what you guys thoughts about it since there's no smut and it's more focused on their relationship.

Love you all, have a nice one 🩷🫶🏻

Masterlist 🩷

[romanarose]

About a Girl: Chapter 5

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Series Masterlist : The Last of Us Masterlist : Full Masterlist

Summary: For week 3 of my pride event: Sex. Joel and Blue make everything official. Kayla ruins everything.

ADDITIONAL WARNING: Sorry ya'll this just happened with the story and it felt right for what was happening and the characters.. Warning for brief DV nothing extreme or detailed.

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

A/N: Not to sound like a 2012 wattpad writer but I cried writing this.

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

Things had been going well for weeks. Kayla had been taking Sarah on weekends consistently, which meant she didn’t have a man to distract her. This, however, meant she didn’t have a man to distract her away from Joel’s love life. Still, a little bit of boundary setting had done well for him, and Kayla had mostly been minding her business. Joel was able to see Blue every weekend, and was even able to spend more time with Tommy and Tess which was rare. 

Tonight, he had just got done having dinner at your house and was cuddling on the couch with you in his arms, all wrapped up. He liked moments like this a lot. Don’t get him wrong, he’d gone to another show with you and had a good time, but he was definitely happy to just sit at home with you.

You’d seemed an unlikely pair, you and him. You liked leather and black and grunge. He liked country and jeans and… well he wasn’t really sure what he really ”liked”, honestly. He loved Sarah. He liked All That, he liked Arthur, he didn't like Barney, he liked Franklin… what did he watch when Sarah was in bed? Sleep. He mostly slept. Sometimes he watched King of the Hill… he listened to Clinton Black, Garth Brooks… Sarah liked Reba, which was nice. Things to do for fun? He liked to play the guitar for Sarah. He liked to go to the park with Sarah. He liked to go with Sarah and Tommy to the roller rink… 

“I’d like yuh to meet Sarah.” Joel said against your ear, arms wrapped around your waste as he lay propped up against the arm rest. “Really meet her this time”

You paused, then sat up to turn and face him. You were smiling softly, eyes wide. “Really? I don’t want you to feel like you have to… but I’d love too…” Something hit you, making you bite your lip. “Introduce me as… what, exactly.” When you saw his eyes widen, you told him he didn’t have to pick a label right now, but he cut you off.

“My girlfriend. If you wanna.”

You squeal, returning to his arms for a hug and a kiss. “Yes!!!”

Joel returns the kiss, pulling you close, sliding a hand to the small of your back as you deepened the kiss, straddling his body. You and him had been making out, and of course the blow job outside the concert, but no sex. Not yet…

“Stay the night.” You whispered between kisses. “We don’t gotta do nothing you’re not ready for, but I’d love if you wanted to stay over”

Joel looked up at you, heart swelling faster than his cock in his pants. He reached up to touch your face. “I’m ready… only if you wanna”

You responded by grinding your cunt over his jeans, kissing him once more. You slide your tongue into his mouth, dominating the kiss and him. When you make it to the bedroom, Joel follows your lead, letting you press him up against the door as you fiddle with his belt. “Got any- mphhh- got any questions?”

His brow furrowed, looking a little confused and flushed. “With what? I don’t know if you know this, but I ain’t a virgin. Kid and all.”

“Yeah, I’m aware.” You chuckle. “I meant with the whole ‘not born with a vagina’ thing.”

The look on his face told you he forgot about that. “Oh. Um… I guess… can you… um…”

“Orgasm?!?!” You bawked, in disbelief that at the prospect of having sex with a transwomen, something he barely knew existed before you, and he’s concerned if you’re going to have a good time. “Yes, I can orgasm Joel. I got a fucked ton of lube by my drawer too, so we’re covered there, baby. Just.” you sigh, guiding him to the bed as you pull down his pants. “Sweetie,” You coo, his big brown eyes gazing adoringly as you return to your rightful place above him. “Just let me take care of you tonight, ‘kay? I got you.”

Awestruck, you nodded. “Yes ma’am.” In his dark boxer briefs, his cock is straining, heavy.

You slowly pull his briefs down, Joel humps his hips up to help and you stare in aw as his cock strings free. He’s hung, absolutely packing and you can see why Tess came back for a few more rounds. Getting a chance to look at him, really look at him this time… Big dick, big eyes, big man… bigger heart. He’s soft, kind. He’s gentle in a way you’d never seen from a southern farmer, a body capable of total destruction if he wanted to, but no room in his heart for it. You couldn’t imagine your sweet, precious man hurting anyone.

When you took him in your mouth, you couldn’t make it all the way down. You’d practice on tat, vowing to be able to deep throat him, but it didn’t seem to matter. He was a mess already. When was the last time he fucked someone? It’d been a few years since Tess and she never mentioned Joel having a girl since Kayla… You wanted to make him feel good. But Joel had other plans. 

“Wanna taste you.” He begs, tugging at your hair. “Really wanna taste you, Blue, please?” Joel is practically whimpering at you like a puppy and god, who are you to deny him? 

“You ever had someone sit on your face, Joel?”

He nods. Good, you didn’t wanna freak him out. He’s not a virgin, but you didn’t think he was the most experienced either. “Stay there.”

You spread your legs over his face, carefully lowering yourself on him when he surprises you by grabbing your thighs and yanking you down. “Hungry boy” You chuckle, delighted with his excitement. He shows no interest in the slight scarring, if he was even paying enough attention to notice; he seemed preoccupied.

Joel devoured you whole, moving and working with your body as you ground yourself on his face. He felt good, he knew what he was doing, that was for sure. Even if he didn’t get out much, he certainly had the enthusiasm. “Fuck Joel, just like that… Just like that…” You’re sure to make sure he knows he’s doing good, you weren’t going to get wet on your own. His nose nudges along your fold as he sucks on your clit when you bend over, jacking him off. You’d love to 69 him -he deserved it- but you didn’t want him orgasming too soon, and the poor guy was already looking like he was just barely hanging on as it was. You cum in his mouth, shouting out his name as you grip his perfect cock tightly, so tight you can’t believe he didn’t spurt all over your hand but you would have forgiven him if he had with the feeling he gave you. Riding his nose and putty lower lip until you’re done taking all your pleasure. 

When you flop over on the bed, Joel is on you in a second, lips sucking in yours desperately. He needs you, you can tell, but won’t ask for it. Joel isn’t the kind to take. He’s a giver. If you asked him to eat you out again he would, and would, and would until you’re ran dry and he’d just lay there, cock hard, cleaning you up. Because that was Joel. 

But you weren’t going to do that to him. Because he deserved to know he was worthy of love, pleasure, happiness.

When you drop on top of him, encasing him in your lubed up, warm cunt. He opens you in a way you’ve never felt before, making you moan onto the stubbled jaw you were kissing, making you whimper in such a way he asked if you were okay. No one on this earth was a better man than Joel Miller.

You rode him, hands pressed against his firm pecs and stomach rubbing against his softness. All the lifting in the world wasn’t going to work his abs, and the man was living off junk and the real food Frank made for lunch. He’s soft around the edges. Joel is a whiny, moaning mess and you savor every single second of it. Breathing in his shuttered exhales, letting it be your breath of life no matter how your legs burned as you bounced. Thumbs to soft inner thighs, you gave until your heart burst.

“I love you.” You blurt out, voice shaking as you admit your feelings, perhaps too soon. You hold your breath, closing your eyes tight as your brace for rejection, or even more scary; his devotion. Upright and spearing yourself on his sweet dick, you continue your movements blindly.

Until you feel him rise up.

Joel surged towards you, wrapping your body up in one arm and gripping the back of your neck with the other hand. Chest to chest, lips to lips, body to warm, adoring body.

“I love you,” He fucks his hips up into your body, muttering against your lips and cheek. “I love you so much, Blue.” And you believe him. 

Joel comes inside after you beg him for it. One orgasm is enough for you, you generally can’t twice but Joel does have you doubting that. He fills you up, clutching your ass and shoulders to him with fingers in your skin and face buried in your neck.

*

You wake up to your landline ringing. 

“Hello?” You answer quietly, but Joel stirs anyway.

On the other side, you hear Tommy. “Hey Blue, Joel with you?”

“Yeah, everything okay?”

Joel is up, eyes wide recognizing his brother's voice. He likes the phone from you. “Tommy? You alright?”

“Jesus Joel, had me worried. Kayla called damn near every bar in town trying to get a hold of me.”

“Shit.” Joel mutters, sitting on the side of the bed. “Sarah okay?”

Tommy said he didn’t know, but Kayla had been trying to call him. Joel hung up, searching for his phone. After calling Sarah good night, it fell under the bed.

You watch him frantically call Kayla, being sure to keep quiet. You know his ex can get jealous and he doesn’t need more stress. He’s so clearly worried, and you are too. It’s 1:30 am, if Kayla is calling then something is wrong with Sarah. “Whats wrong? Where’s Sarah?”

“She won’t stop crying, Joel.” Kayla snaps at him. Is she just calling because Sarah’s crying?

Joel scrubs his face. “Kayla, did you try comforting her?”

“Of course I did, you fucking asshole” You didn’t like how she speak to Joel, and you seethed in your anger, mouth still shut. “She won’t stop screaming. You need to pick her up, I can’t fucking do this.”

Joel sighs, standing up. You begin gathering his things for him. He’s butt naked, dick swinging. “Jesus, okay, I’ll come get her. Just go hold her, okay? She gets scared at night.”

Kayla snapped at him, saying she’s aware. 

He turns to you, apologetic. “I’m so-”

“Don’t you dare fucking apoligise, cowboy.” You toss him his briefs. “Sarah comes first, always. I’d do the same if I had a kid.”

He mumbles, redressing. “She always does this. Begs and cries about never seeing her, but sends her back early. Breaks Sarah’s little heart, you know? The uncertainty. She always dressed up so cute to see her mom, always brings her best art she makes at kindergarten, picture books she can read… even pretends to like Mariah Carey when she used to make me change the station. I can’t fucking take it.”

Your heart hurts for Sarah and Joel. Your own mom and dad never got you, even before coming out as trans or gay. You just were never right in their eyes. Years later, you start to think it was more about them than it was you. Who you are now is who you were always meant to be. You are happy. They are still miserable.

“Go get your daughter, Joel.” You kiss his cheek after he pulls his boots on. “Call me in the morning, or whenever you have time.”

He pauses, stopping to wrap his arms around you, strong and safe. “I meant every single word I said, Blue. I love you.”

“I know.” And you did.

*

After speeding on the empty roads, Joel makes it in record time, parking in front of some jacked up truck and  knocking on the door. He didn’t want to ring in case Sarah fell back asleep. The door flung open to reveal and frazzled Kayla. “About time, she’s been screaming non stop!” She opened the door and Joel looked inside, not seeing her but hearing her scream frantically. Kayla was dressed in a flownsy night top and panties, makeup lightly on like she kept when she first started sleeping over at Joel’s parents.

“Where is she?” He follows the sound of her cries. She sounds absolutely batshit terrified, calling mommy, mommy, mommy. He’s unfamiliar with Kayla place. “Sarah? Where are you baby girl?”

The mommy’s switched to daddy’s with renewed vigor and Joel quickly found the room, running to it but finding the bedroom door locked. He jiggled it, hearing Sarah’s voice on the other end of sobbing for him. Something was wrong. “It’s okay, baby girl. I’m here. Daddy’s here.” He tried to sound calm but turned to Kayla, furious. “Why is the door locked.”

“Don’t raise your voice at-”

“KAYLA UNLOCK IT!”

Kayla grabbed the key from a table nearby, explaining as she unlocked it, Joel’s voice reassuring Sarah she was safe it was okay. 

“She had a nightmare, said she saw you and Tommy die on that stupid fucking farm. Wouldn’t shut the fuck up when I tried to tell her you’re-”

As soon as it was unlocked Joel burst in, dropping to his knees to scoop up his baby and soothe her. Sarah continued to cry, but relief to it.

“I’m okay, my baby. I’m okay, so is uncle Tommy. I promise.” His hands felt her shampoo or conditioner soupy residue in there. Joel told her not to wash Sarah’s hair, that it was washed the night before but she didn’t listen. Kayla never took time with washing it, rinsing it properly.

After getting the number of the last bar that Kayla found Tommy at, he got a hold of his brother when Sarah was yet to be reassured her beloved uncle was alive.

“See Sare-Bear! I’m right as rain! I even promise to make you chocolate chip pancakes in the morning, even if your dad says no, okay?”

Sarah niffles, still clearly shook up and visible shaking in her barbie nightie, but better. “O-okay. You promise you’re not hurt?”

“Not one bit, never been better. Want me to come home?”

“No… no…” But she didn’t sound certain.

Once Sarah was reassured, Joel scooped her up. She clung to her dad, clutching his shirt in her little hands. Joel turned to Kayla with a glare. “You locked my daughter in her room when she thought her dad and uncle were D-E-A-D?” He spelled out, making Kayla roll her eyes. 

“You cuddle her too much, you and Tommy both. She needs to learn to cry it out.”

“One, she’s 5 and had a horrible nightmare. Two, you literally called me!” Then, Joel heard a thump coming from another room and it made sense now. The truck, Kayla underwear and makeup. “Kayla. Do you have a man in the house right now?”

She looked like she was about to lie, then thought better of it. “What I do with my home is none of your business.”

He tried to keep calm, chest rising and falling in anger against Sarah, still gently sniffing. They had an agreement on this. “How long have you known this man.”

She crossed her arms defensively, “A few weeks.”

His jaw ticked. “You brought a man you barely know to sleep over while my daughter is here?” In anger, he turned around, walking to the door but Kayla shouted after him.

“Relax Joel! This ain’t even the first time! Sarah likes him, he’s nice, he-”

Whipping around, Joel took long footsteps towards Kayla, clutching Sarah who had begun crying again. Sarah knew when a fight was happening. “How long as this been going on? Do you leave her alone with him?” Then he realized… if Sarah met him, and never mentioned him… he took a deep breath. “Kayla. Did you tell my child not to tell her father about a man? Did you seriously tell her to keep a secret from me?”

Joel never ever said. “don’t tell mom.” Ever. His heart raced in fear about the potition she was put in. If Sarah didn’t think she could tell him about the man, if anything happened, she’d keep that a secret too.

“Joel, it’s not a -”

“Don’t! No more sleepovers Kayla! No more of this until you can stop doing stupid-”

Seeing the slap coming and bracing for it was the only thing keeping his face from rolling into Sarah’s head. His eyes remained closed, blurring with tears. Not of pain, but humiliation. Knowing Sarah just heard her mom hit her dad. He’d always managed to keep that shit away from her… 

“What, are you gonna cry now?” She mocked, but Joel wouldn’t have it.

“Sarah, sweetie, say goodbye to mommy. We’re going home.”

Sarah waved goodbye, but didn’t speak. Joel took her into the car and buckled her safely in, pulling a blanket over her legs in her nightie. He’d send Tommy to get the rest of her things tomorrow. Right now, he needed to get Sarah home.

Joel laid in bed with her, holding Sarah close to him on the twin bed. He tried to lull her back to sleep, but she hadn’t stopped sniffling and gently crying the whole ride back, even as Joel tried to distract her. 

“Why doesn’t mommy like me?” Sarah mumbled against Joel’s arm, her back to his chest.

“Oh baby…” He kissed her hair. “Your mommy loves you so, so much. She and I think you’re just the coolest kid ever.”

She thought on this for a while. “You know the bird I made in kindergarten? Where I glued the feathers?”

“Yes baby, I remember.”

“And the sheet where I wrote my name 5 times?”

“I remember, it looked so good.”

“I brought them… and last night I saw them in the trash.”

Joel’s eyes welled up with tear, tucking his face into her hair to hide it. “It must be an accident, Sarah. We get so many bills, it probably just got lost in the piles.”

“I put it on the fridge for her.”

“It must have fallen…” Joel hated lying to her, but… “You know, just the other day your mom called me to tell me how she’s so proud of you. How she thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the whole world and so, so smart.”

Sarah’s bedroom door cracked open, Tommy appearing.

“Hey Sare-bear” He spoke gently. “Got room for me?”

Joel scooched over and saw Sarah smiling for the first time. Daddy was comfort, but Uncle was joy. “Yes!!”

As Tommy took off his boots and jacket, Joel enlisted him to his lie. “Tommy, remember how her mom was telling us how proud she is of Sarah?” 

Tommy got the jist. “Oh yeah, she’s always talk’n ‘bout you. Can’t get her to stop, really. Says you know more about dinosaurs than anyone else on the planet.”

“Yeah! Because I saw Jurassic Park!”

Joel shot Tommy a look but let it slide. At least Tommy doesn’t tell Sarah to keep secrets. “Yup. See baby? She loves you so much.”

“Good” Sarah yawned. “Because I love mommy. I wanna be just like her when I grow up.”

The three of them fell asleep like that on the twin bed. Sarah snuggled right up in her daddy’s arms, uncle Tommy on the other end holding her little hand. 

In the morning, Tommy made them all chocolate chip pancakes.

Lets get on the fight Kayla club!!!!!

Tommy loves his neice....

Sarah is perfectly safe, I promise.

please lmk your thoughts!!!! Thanks for all the cool works with this pride event!!!

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[jaidens]

I'd Give All Have, Honey If You Could Stay Like That, Oh, Darling Don't You Ever Grow Up

pairing [s] : bob floyd x reader

warning [s] : call your dentist as soon as possible! the sweet fluff is giving you cavities!

a/n [s] : requests are open! the pictures do not show what your daughters might look like.

Robert was a girl dad. If anyone has dared to try and make fun of him for being head over heels for his daughters and wife, call the ambulance. Jake pushed his buttons by calling him Baby on Board, but Hangman knew to never make fun of him about his daughters. You loved the way he could never say no to his daughters flapping eyelashes and pretty eyes blinking at him. It was sometimes annoying for how much candy your babies could assume if their daddy was taking care of them for a day.

Currently, Bob was holding his daughter Tessa in his arms, slowly running his hands down her hair. She was almost asleep, eyes attempting to stay open. Tessa was slumped against your husband's chest, drool slowly falling out of her mouth when she finally sleeps. Eventually Sophia, Tessa’s sister, clomps over to Bob, hands going up to try and grab her Daddy.

“Hey babygirl.. did you have fun with Uncle Mickey?” Bob's voice is calm and soft as he picks his daughter up in his other arm and pulls her up. Sophia wraps around her dad's arms, laying on his shoulder. You're sipping a soda while you scroll on your phone. “Mm.. daddy wanna go home. Sleepy.” It's only 6:30 but he swears his girls got your sleeping gene. You're almost asleep too as you lay against his shoulder. He's surprised you're even getting sleepy whenever Jake goes to turn another song on the jukebox.

“Hey, babe, Soph’ is getting sleepy and Tess is asleep. You think it's time to head out?” Bob says to you while he attempts to not wake up Tessa. “Yeah I think so. The girls have been up since six-thirty. And Mama needs her husband alone tonight.” He laughs gently as you pick up your bag and stand up. Your hand runs against Tessa’s soft curls and you kiss Bob softly. His cheeks turn a dusty pink. Even after fourteen years of marriage, he still gets flustered by you. You smile at him and pick up Sophia. She lets out a small whine before she relaxes in your arms.

The team gives you all hugs as you say goodbye to everyone. Sophia waves tiredly at Fanboy and Phoenix. You walk out the door and Bob follows behind you, holding the door open for you. You're walking to your car before Bob runs in front of you and opens the door for you, hand touching your lower back. “I’ll put the girls in their seats, love.” You kiss his lips and he smirks at you. He hands you the keys and you start the car with them.

You can hear him in the backseat buckling in Tessa and she starts to almost cry before he kisses her softly. Bob had a hidden voice he would never share, the soft voice from his choir days in highschool. You hear the relaxing Taylor Swift song that Bob held you to during the Speak Now tour in 2011. You remember telling him after the concert that you would dream about your kids with him during that song.

Now, your dream came true. Bob had kept his promise and whenever Tessa was born, he held her in his arms and sang just that song. It became tradition in your daughters’ lives to hear that song from their dad. It felt like you were in college again, in the back of Bobby’s best up Chevy staring at the stars talking about your future. The only thing you were sure of was Bobby would always be written in your stars.

Bob jumped into the truck, putting the windows down to let in the warm summer night. He flips the radio on, a random country station playing soft music. His hand falls to your thigh, thumb going under the rips in your jeans. “Y'know,” Bob begins, his head turns, looking at you and back at the road. “Jake said he could take the girls this weekend. His nieces are coming over. I thought we could go to the city for the weekend. Drink and go crazy, like we did before the girls.”

You laugh gently and nod at him. “Yeah sure. I missed those times if I had to be honest. I miss the mullet you had in highschool, and I missed when you held me in your arms that summer night when Daniel Carrigan said you sucked at football and you almost cried.” He pinches your thigh and laughs. “I still can't believe he said that.”

“Tess has gotten so big recently. I was scrolling through the pictures on my phone and I saw her when she was a little baby on her first day of school.” You show him the picture and you see the way he is for a moment. “I wish I could keep her like that forever. She was such a little baby.” Bob tells you and smiles at the photos of her dancing around in her little dresses.

He taps your thigh with his hand and grips the wheel. You know he's sensitive about his girls growing up and it's something so bittersweet; growing up. You've grown up with Bob, and you watch him watch his girls grow up. You remember telling him one day about how you were scared about growing up and what the future held. He only told you one thing,

“Whatever the future might hold, you can remember I'll always be there.”

That's whenever you knew you would be with him forever. The funky glasses he wore and his long hairstyle. He was stuck with you and you were stuck with him.

[servpls-enthusiast]

my heart shattered 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Heeyyy

Could we get some Tess fluff like her getting home after a rough day to the reader just sitting on the couch with open arms ready to listen to whatever is bothering her?

I worship Tess with everyone bone in my body istg

It's gotten out of hand

Past and present

Tess Servopoulos x Fem!reader

A/N- After hearing about Tess and her backstory on the official podcast I could have cried. And then I clearly had it in my head because it ended up winding it’s way into this. It’s a little shorter than my others. Also this did end up being kinda angsty and I didn’t really intend it to be it just happened 💀 it’s still fluff. Sorta. Hurt comfort. So if this isn’t what you wanted pls send me something else and I’ll happily write something new.

Warnings- hurt comfort, mentions of child death.

Word count- 2.7k

Masterlist- Tess requests are currently open

Relogs and comments are always appreciated <3

It was late when you heard the sound of keys unlocking the front door, Tess walking into the room and sighing as she closed the door behind her. She looked exhausted. The bags under her eyes a little more prominent than normal, her shoulders not as strong and square but slouched.

“ hey “ she said, dropping her keys onto the little table by the door and ridding herself of her jacket, toeing off her boots. She eyed a half empty glass of whiskey that was still sat on the kitchen table from the night before, debating it for a moment before shrugging and knocking the contents back.

You placed down the list of new stock from Bill and Frank you’d been going through, opening your arms and beckoning her over. She made her way over immediately and you welcomed her into your open arms.

“ hey you “ you said softly, squeezing her in a hug that she melted into, her body practically slumping against your own “ busy day? “

“ so busy “ she mumbled, hiding her face in your neck and inhaling deeply. You had to admit you loved when she came home in one of those moods, tired and clingy and soft. She was so very rarely vulnerable to you, to anyone. But you were the lucky one that was granted the chance to see her like that. Not scary and strong. Soft and quiet.

It almost made you remember the way she’d been when you’d first met, a woman just as terrified as you sitting in a triage bay waiting to be assigned to a QZ. The woman that had offered you a drink of her water, had held your hand when you’d cried as you realised how unbelievably alone you felt in the world. The woman that had not left your side since.

“ do you want to talk about it? “ She lifted her head from where it had been nestled in the crook of your neck, and she shook her head slightly. She cupped your face so delicately in her hand, as if you were made of fine China and she might break you at any moment. She brushed her thumb across your cheekbone, eyes refusing to look directly at yours and instead lingering on your lips “ Tess- “

She leaned in to kiss you, effectively swallowing anymore probing questions you would attempt to ask her for a few moments. You kissed her back, knowing that pushing her was never the way to make her talk. It would only make her shut herself off and block you out.

And you were never going to turn down the chance to kiss her. The whiskey she’d drank only moments before lingered on her lips, intoxicating in more ways than one.

“ are you feeling better? “ she asked, pulling the topic of conversation away from her, her voice quiet and soft as she pulled away. It was a voice that no one else heard but you. Not even Joel. It was the voice that still rang in your ears from that triage bay the voice that told you you’d be okay. That she wouldn’t leave you.

“ yeah don’t worry I’m not dying anytime soon “ you said in some attempt at lightening her mood.

“ dying “ she scoffed, one of fingers gently twisting a lock of your hair around her finger absentmindedly “ I told you not to try and out drink Joel. Even I can’t fucking out drink him and I’m not a lightweight like you “

“ I’m not a lightweight “ she scoffed again because it was stupid. You were a total light weight. A child could probably drink you under the table. Though Tess had always joked that at least it meant your stash of alcohol lasted longer.

She’d worked late the night before. So without her there to keep you occupied, you’d gone right next door in attempts to piss off Joel. Which had just ended up being you and him drinking until Tess had come home. She had had to quite literally carry you back home again.

So you’d spent the majority of the day on the couch sleeping off a hangover.

“ just be happy he didn’t have me on the fuckin oxy “ you mumbled.

“ after last time? that was your own fault. You’re too curious “ again. She was right. You’d just wanted to see what all the damn fuss was about. You regretted that too.

“ whatever “ Tess smiled and nudged her fingers under your chin so you’d look at her.

“ don’t get grumpy. I had a hard day I don’t deserve you being fuckin grumpy “ she teased, kissing you again which instantly wiped the frown from your face. But she was handing you an opportunity to make her talk. So you took it.

“ what happened? “ you asked, pushing at the bandana in her hair to take it off and gently pulling off her hair tie. Already sensing the headache brewing behind her temples and attempting to ease it before it started.

“ just… busy. It’s fine “ you ran your fingers through her hair, watching as she closed her eyes for a moment and sighed. You knew immediately she was lying. That she wasn’t telling you the whole truth. You had known her too long.

“ wanna talk about it? “ you asked again, she seemed to hesitate, unsure of what she actually wanted to say. You wracked your brains on what could be affecting her so much.

She was exhausted that was clear, so whatever it was had clearly affected her more because her battery was running low. You saw her go through the same cycle every few months. Working herself until she was burning fumes, no ounce of energy left in her and she’d crash “ how many assignments did you pick up today? “ you asked when she didn’t answer you.

“ 3 “ you sighed and shuffled to lay down, pulling her with you in some attempt to make her rest up a little. She lay her head on your chest in a way she so rarely did. Proving exactly how tired and drained she truly was.

“ Tess we’re not that desperate for cards “ you really weren’t. In fact you had far more than the average person in the QZ. And you’d be practically drowning in them by next week, your bi monthly pill drop off to the many FEDRA officers who bought from the black market. You could always get nearly triple payments l from the FEDRA officers. They were more desperate to knock themselves out with some pills than most. And every 2 months was enough time to leave them without any for a couple weeks usually, so they were always desperate for a stock up.

“ I didn’t have much choice. Flu is knocking people down all over the zone, they’re short on people. It wasn’t so much offering to take the assignments, but not so subtly being shoved forward to do them “

You tried to think about what could have dampened her mood so much. There was something she wasn’t telling you. Yeah, 3 assignments would tire the shit out of anyone. But something was niggling at your brain that she was hiding something else. Something that was making her so quiet and clingy, making her seek affection from you.

“ which assignments? “

“ truck unloading, street sweeping “ that was 2

“ and? “ she hesitated and you felt her let out a shaky breath. What the fuck had gone on? What had she seen “ Tess you’re freaking me out “ she reached up to hold your face again, nudging her nose against your jaw like some kind of sleepy cat.

“ I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to “ she was distracting you away from the topic again, throwing in the pet name in some attempt to make you melt and not probe her anymore. But you knew her tricks too well.

“ what was your other assignment Tess?” She sighed again, her hand dropping from your face.

“ I was on body disposal “ you never signed up for that job, neither of you. Both unable to bring yourselves to be able to just toss people into the fire pit like they were nothing. You two were no strangers to death. No strangers to causing it either. But killing scumbags because they screwed you over wasn’t the same as innocent people who simply had gotten infected.

You both often made jokes about how stupid you had to be to let yourself get infected. But it didn’t mean you wanted to toss their corpse on an open flame and leave them there. And it wasn’t even just infected they sent to the fire pits. It was the executed. Half the time people that had been sentenced to hang for something as stupid as missing curfew.

“ you don’t usually take that job “

“ I had no choice. I told you. Half the zone is down with flu they weren’t giving us a choice, just assigning us “ your arms snaked around her more, holding her tightly in some hopes of easing her distress. No wonder she had been so tense. So drained. No one in their right mind would be able to simply return home as happy as ever after doing that all day.

“ what did you see? “ you didn’t really want to ask. But you knew if she didn’t get it out it would sit with her for days. And a momentary painful reminder of her day was better than holding onto it for days. It was no surprise to you when she didn’t answer right away “ Tess? “

“ little boy “ she said quietly “ not- not infected. They only cover the infected faces and- fuck “ it made your stomach churn. If not infected, executed “ I’m a shitty fucking person but killing kids? Fucking bastards “

“ oh Tess “ you cradled her head against you and pressed a kiss to her head. You were both shitty people. You had done shitty things. But a child… putting a child in front of a fording squad. Or making them stand in n the gallows. What could a child have possibly done to deserve such a thing.

“ but the worst part? He looked… he looked just like- “ she couldn’t finish her sentence but you understood. And all the pieces fell into place. Why she was so distressed and drained. Why she had avoided it at first. Why she didn’t want to talk about it.

Only a few months ago she had spilled information about her past to you. You both had some mutual agreement that you didn’t discuss the old world. No mentions of past. Or family. Or pre outbreak lives. It was a topic that was completely off limits. Had been since day one. She had never asked you about your family, or why you had ended up in that triage bay alone. And you had never asked her.

But you had both gotten drunk and instead of it sending you down the usual route, of either knocking you both out or just making you incredibly eager to fuck, it had sent you down into a spiralling upset. You’d sat on the floor for hours, sharing a bottle and unintentionally spilling information about your old life’s.

Tess had given quite the bombshell. Something you hadn’t expected at all. Knowledge of an infected ex husband that she had put a bullet through the head of. A son. A son that was still locked in a basement somewhere in Michigan because she couldn’t bring herself to kill him. Fleeing her home town and somehow ending up in the same facility as you.

A disgusting and evil chain of events that had lead to fate placing you both in the same place at the same time.

It was almost the world being it’s usual viciously cruel self by having her reveal that dark and buried piece of information in such recent times, to then only put her in that situation on assignment.

“ do you think- “

“ no. It wasn’t… wasn’t him. Just looked-“ she sighed again, pinching the bridge of her nose in a way you knew was to stop herself from crying. You could count on one hand the amount of time you’d seen her cry over the years. But you wouldn’t blame her for crying in that moment. You almost wanted to cry too. To cry for her. Because she didn’t deserve to be in so much agony, not Tess. Not your Tess.

You placed a gentle hand to her cheek, trying to understand how you were even supposed to comfort her with something like that. Most things in the current world that hurt, you could relate with her on. But losing a child like that? You couldn’t even begin to understand it. And even though so many years had passed her by, you knew it must hurt as badly as it had done only minutes after.

“ will you take the day off tomorrow “ you asked her quietly “ please. You’re in no right mind to work “ usually so stubborn, you expected her to decline. To say she was fine and be up at the crack of dawn to work. But she nodded. Whispering out a yes “ and don’t. Don’t think about it anymore. You’re good at shutting shit out. So shut it out “ it felt a little harsh. A little too lacking in care. But Tess didn’t want pity. She never did. And you would never belittle her enough to give it to her. Tough love was what worked “ don’t let those FEDRA fucks get into your head and drag you down because they can’t do their own shitty fucking jobs “

She had her face pressed into your neck again and you could feel her shaking breaths against your skin, could feel how tightly she had her eyes clenched shut. Desperately trying not to completely breakdown.

You let her be for a few minutes, running your hand through her dark hair. It was one of the very few things that soothed her. Letting her mourn someone you didn’t even know the name of. Let her mourn someone that she had left behind so long ago.

“ do we have any pills? “ she asked, after a while, raising her head. Seeking the most sure fire way to knock herself out from the world and fall into a dreamless sleep. You both didn’t tend to dabble in pills. Joel was all for them, the man knocked them back multiple times a week. But you two saved them for the truly worst occasions. The nights the harsh realities of the world invaded your brains and you needed to lock them away again.

“ yeah, I got it. Get into bed. You need to rest “ you patted her arm gently and she got up. You pressed a kiss to her head as you passed her, running a hand over her hair. She squeezed your arm gently and got up to head for bed.

You made quick work of pulling up the floorboards and pulling out the small tin of pills you kept for yourselves, plucking one out before replacing the board. You grabbed her a glass of water and headed back over to her. Not wanting to leave her on her own for too long.

“ here “ you said softly, handing her the pill and the water. She swallowed, grimacing slightly at the taste before letting her head heavily fall against her pillow. You climbed into bed behind her, sliding a hand around her waist and tangling your legs with hers. You held her as close as you could, pressing a gentle kiss to her shoulder.

She curled into your embrace holding her hand over yours and intertwining your fingers. She rarely craved so much affection all at once, intentionally starving herself of touch seemingly with some deep rooted fear of getting too attached. Of losing you too. No matter how many times you told her you wouldn’t leave her side. Ever.

It didn’t take long for the pill to take its effect, her breathing evening out and muscles finally relaxing. You held her a little tighter, hoping it would somehow keep any nightmares that may attempt to infiltrate her sleep at bay.

“ I love you “ you whispered against her neck, knowing she couldn’t hear you but saying it anyway. Because you did. And she knew. No matter her past.

[positivelybeastly]

After the broadcast, Woolf disappears. (Socially.) She answers her communicator, does her duty to the 'X', and then does what everyone else is doing: the best she can. She works. She trains. She eats. She works more. (Workworkworkwork.) She screams her throat raw in the silence of her room, and a few days in, she realizes 'oh. Ohhhh. I forgot about Hank.'

It is what it is. Needs must.

('Bad beat', Gambit would say.)

She stares at the door of Hank's lab before it swishes open, taking some spare comfort in the familiar sound. As for the smell of the lab, that hits her like a slap in the face. The air is all char and hot metal--some project he's working on for Scott--and she can't help but recoil, pressing her first to her mouth.

Moving on.

Her voice sounds like she's been gargling nails. "Anyone give you a hug yet?"

'I'm sorry,' is what she ought to say. The apology lodges in her throat along with 'my mama's dead' and a truly godawful 'wanna compare coping mechanisms? I have a trash can with my hair in it!'

"I'm handing them out, if you're offering."

It was easy enough to lose track of Hank at the best of times, if the denizens of the Mansion were honest with themselves.

He was, of the team, the one least often assigned to a mission, so his absence on the field was practically assumed; he was, of the adults, the most independent, with the most going on outside of the Mansion; he was, of the disparate personality types that made up the eclectic band of merry mutants, seemingly the most stable.

Scott brooded, Logan raged, Jean turned into a cosmic firebird, Morph had their personal demons to contend with, Rogue's powers bedevilled her, Jubilee's teenage angst knew seemingly no bounds, Ororo had an impossible standard of behaviour to maintain, Remy . . .

Remy . . .

Suffice it to say, Hank never seemed like he was the one who needed help. He's always just there, in the lab, ready to talk, ready to pull his weight, ready to turn and smile. The man had been unjustly imprisoned for a year, and yet, he bore it all with remarkable grace. Do the mental checklist. 'Hank's fine, he's always fine.'

He's never begrudged them that. In some ways, he courts that feeling. He hates to worry people, even as he himself loves to worry.

His back is turned as the door swishes open, and he doesn't hear it over the sound of a laser welder cutting through tritanium alloy like a hot knife through cold butter. It stinks, but it gives him something to focus on, something to do, even if it's a project Scott asked him to work on before all of . . . this. It seems frivolous now, in retrospect.

'Do you think you can work out a way to balance the Blackbird so it can fit my Porsche, Hank?'

A preposterous notion, truly.

But . . . even as that thought had occurred to Hank, he knew, in his heart of hearts, that he was never able to deny Scott anything, really, never had been, not since there had only been the five of them, and they had still called Scott Slim, and Bobby was still around, and Warren (missing, presumed dead), and, and - and besides, it was an interesting prospect. An engineering conundrum. A challenge.

It was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment.

Tess' voice rings out, and he goes stiff. Down goes the laser welder, up go the goggles, around he turns. He looks haggard. Some of the blue has gone out of his fur. He manages an upturn of the lips. Must present strength. Must be there. Have to be the rock. Everyone else can fall apart, Hank, but if there's just someone who sticks it out, you can weather anything, you can all come back together eventually.

Can we, Charles? Or have you left us all here to wither on the vine?

"I think . . . a hug would be quite nice." There's a shellshock to his words, and Tess can tell he's only really half here. Half of him is still sat on the couch upstairs, watching the casualty reports coming in, watching Alison's corpse be zipped up in a body bag. His head in his hands, his world turning, his stomach turning with it.

Up he gets, and again, he presents strength, grace, balance - he's always been balanced, ever since he was a child, it had been one of the very first manifestations of his mutant gift - for one step, two step, three step, four step.

And then he crumples, and he's almost dead weight in Tess' arms as he clings to her, because please god don't take Tess, too, please don't take her, please, please, don't take anyone else, you've taken enough, you've taken enough, just stop killing my friends, please -

He drags himself back up to his feet, with Tess' health. Nestles into her. He's the lightest she's ever felt him be.

The hug helps. If only for a moment.

[bitchyfoxymama]

Clementine - Joel Miller x F!Reader

Warnings: held at gun point and pinned to a wall, fluff, cute nickname, no use of y/n, reader has a nickname tho

A/n: ahhhhh my first Joel fic!!!!

...

"Hey, how come Joel calls you clementine?" You were walking Ellie to school. 

The three of you had settled down in Jackson after Joel had saved Ellie. 

"Hmm, he hasn't told you that story yet?" You reply while holding your hand above your brow blocking the sun from your eyes, "well it's a really funny story, but I won't tell you about it until you get back from school," you smirk down at her. 

"Aw, come on, man! I wanna know, please. If you tell me right now, I'll do your dishes for weeks," Ellie pleads with you.

You think for a moment. "Tempting, but no, you will just have to wait until dinner tonight. That is when I'll tell you the story of why Joel calls me clementine. Besides, we're already here at your school, now go on before you get in trouble for being late….again," you kiss the top of Ellie's head and watch as she follows the other kids into the school. 

You smile at the memory of why Joel calls you that name. Hell, he hasn't used your real name in years, always using the name of the citrus fruit instead. 

The use of clementine had started nearly a decade prior, back at the Boston QZ. 

Finally, you were able to sneak back into the QZ. It was a hard day's work but you managed to get a good enough haul that would bring you in a decent amount of ration cards and keep the FEDRA off your back especially if you bring in fresh fruit just like you have been for the past few years. clementines and strawberries. The only 2 fruits you were able to grow. 

You were so close making it back until you bumped into a man and woman both a good bit older than you, the gray in their hair making you sure they were older. 

"I-" you squeaked out before the man had you pinned against the wall, gun pressed against your temple. 

"Who the fuck are you and where the fuck did you come from?" He yelled in your face, spit landed on your cheek. 

"I-I um, I have a garden on the other side of the wall, FEDRA looks the other way if I give them twenty-five percent of my haul!" You said as you tried to raise your hands. 

"Don't fuckin' move!" The man said as he pulls your backpack off of you, tossing it to the woman, "if we find out you are lyin' I'm gonna kill you," he threatens.

After some ruffling through your backpack and clementines and strawberries scattered. 

"She's telling the truth," the woman glared at you, "how long have you been doing this?" 

"Only a f-few months, I found some clementine trees and a nearby patch of strawberries," you stuttered out as the man still holds you tight, "I-I-if you let me join you, I can get you ration cards,"

"We don't need yer help," he replied, finally pulling the gun away from your head and holstering it once again. 

"Now, wait, Joel, we could use her, we didn't know about the fresh fruit nearby. She could be useful." 

That is how you met Joel and Tess and helped them around the QZ with their smuggling. You were the reason Bill and Frank had strawberries

"Wait, so you're telling me that Joel held you at gunpoint?" Ellie looks at him shocked, "not fucking cool man!" 

"In his defense, he did think I was moving in on his already claimed territory," you laugh, placing a hand on top of his as you sip your coffee. 

"I still can't believe you were able to find such a delicious score," Ellie says as she finishes up her plate, taking it over to the sink. 

You follow her and gently place your plate in the sink. 

"I think I'm gonna go enjoy the air in the backyard, Ellie feel free to join me after you finish the dishes," you say gently hugging her. 

You walk out the backdoor and go to sit on the porch swing Joel installed. 

"I can't believe you told her that story," Joel says as he sits next to you with a hand on your waist as you admire your new clementine tree. A smile graces your face as he places a kiss on the top of your head. He gently places his free hand on your pregnant belly. 

"Yeah, well, she was curious as to why you always called me clementine." You say as you lean your head on his shoulder. 

[biggestsimponhere]

could i please put in a request for Tess from tlou from smut prompt list 2, “you would look so good under me” and "i wanna ruin you"? i'm such a simp for her lol

thanks <3

Ruin me - Tess Servopulous x f!reader, Joel and reader are besties, Reader is Afab and uses feminine terms and pronouns! Sorry it’s not very long 😕 Tess is a soft dom

WARNINGS - Smut, Vaginal fingering, Oral sex, Praise kink, Degradation kink, Slightly under the influence (Alcohol)

Tess doesn’t outwardly show her affections. At least not often. Definitely not in public. While you love her it definitely also pisses you off. So while you’re not completely sober and are making terrible decisions you decide to flirt with some girl. You don’t remember her name and honestly you don’t care. All you care about is the fact that you can feel Tess’s eyes burning into you. “So, do you wanna get out of here?” Before you have a chance to respond you feel an arm slide around your waist. While you’re not completely sober you can definitely recognize Tess.

“She can’t. She’s with me” Her voice spat at the woman. You just leaned into her enjoying that she was actually touching you. “Come on, we gotta tell Joel we’re leaving” Tess said pulling you away from the woman. She walked you over to where Joel was sitting alone. “Joel, i’m taking her home. Try not to drink yourself to death” Tess said rolling her eyes. “I couldn’t even if i wanted to, this shit is nasty” Joel said before bringing it back up to his lips. You pulled out of Tess’s arms and slid your own around Joel. Though he was not one to hug openly he looked like he needed it right now.

“Goodnight Joel” You said smiling before heading off with Tess. You snuck one last glance at Joel to make sure he was okay and he had visibly relaxed. Once the two of you got into the apartment Tess pulled you into her. “I wanna ruin you” She growled in your ear before crashing her lips onto yours. You whimpered at the intrusion as she stuck her tongue in your mouth. As you continued kissing the two of you landed on the couch with you straddling Tess. “Ruin me then” You said smirking. She slid her hand into your hair and tilted your head back to gain access to your neck. She sucked marks all across it. Your neck now bearing purple and pink hickeys.

You whimpered as she found that spot on your neck that had you grinding against her thigh. “Are you really gonna get yourself off on my thigh? What a good pathetic slut you are” She said tilting your jaw to look at her. You whined as she started bouncing her leg. She let you bounce on her thigh for a few more seconds before stilling your hips. “As good as you look perched on my thigh like a good girl, I think you would look so good under me” She said flipping you over. You landed back against the couch. She smirked as she hovered above you. “Where’d you even get this dress anyways” She said kissing down your leg. “I got it off some guard it came with the pills we sold em” You said twisting your hips toward her mouth.

She held your hips still and shot you a warning look. “It’s a shame, it’s such a pretty dress” She said as she moved towards your core. “You better not tear my dress off tess, i’ll be so mad” You tried to say in a firm voice but it came out more whiny than you intended. “I’m not gonna tear it, maybe just soak it a little” She said before licking a stripe up your slit. You moaned loudly as she quickly found your clit. “You take it so well don’t you baby?” She said shoving a finger into you. You whimpered and nodded your head. “You want another one?” She said and you clenched around her finger. “Words pumpkin” She said stopping all movements. “Yes, yes please” You said grinding on her finger again. She slid a second finger in while still using her tongue to circle your clit.

“Oh- Oh fuck, can i come? Please, please, please” You begged grinding further onto her hand. “Go ahead and come for me princess” She said working you through your orgasm. As you came down from your high you stared at her. “Let me help you” You said toying with her jeans. “You don’t have to” She said rubbing your hand. “I want to, please” You said pushing her to lay down. You carefully slid her out of her jeans, peppering kisses along her legs as you went. You moaned as your hand came in contact with her wetness. “You always get this wet from eating me out?” You said hovering over her. “Watch yourself” She growled bucking up into your touch. “I’ll take that as a yes” You said heading back down between her thighs.

You circled her clit with your tongue before sliding a finger in her. She moaned as you circled it into her. “Doing so good for me baby, so good” She said arching into your hand. You slid another finger into her as you moved your tongue back to her clit. “You think you can take another finger?” You said nibbling her thigh. “D-do it” She said moaning. You slid a third finger in her and she practically convulsed on your hand as she ground on you. “You gonna come? Come for me” You said thrusting your fingers in and out of her. She came shaking as she clenched around you. She slid her hand back into your hair and yanked you down for a kiss. “You’re never wearing this dress out of the apartment again” She growled against your mouth. You just smiled knowing you were definitely wearing this out again.

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

here to stay | rhett abbott x oc

Summary: Tessa's coworker, Linda, has a thing or two to say about the Abbotts. And on Sunday, Tessa has the day off to spend time with her family and go to her special place. (wc: 4697)

Warnings: a flashback, no actual rhett in this chapter, background ocs

✎……PREVIOUS CHAPTER || MASTERLIST || NEXT CHAPTER

Tessa clicked the door shut quietly and stared at the painted wood grain. Thankful that the boys were gone to school and the house was quiet. 

Rhett Abbott. Gone was the boy she remembered from high school. All baby faced and hair kept short with a curl perpetually dangling over his forehead. Now, his cheekbones were more defined. His jaw and upper lip lined with stubble. The longer hair that curled out beneath his old brown stetson suited him. He had gained a bit of muscle since then too. Shoulders rounded and broad, but still lithe. The body of a rancher — of a cowboy.

He didn’t remember her. And in truth, she couldn’t blame him. They barely talked to each other during their school days. And while she had seen him plenty around town, running errands or out with his friends, she never said anything. Only took note of him from a distance then carried on with her own chores or focused on the people she was with.

But no matter how much she excused, no matter how much she rationalized, it didn’t stop the sharp sting of being forgotten from piercing her heart.

“Come on, Tess, you gotta tell us who’y’re crushin’ on!” Laney crooned loudly from her spot perched on the bed.

Tessa only hugged her knees tighter to herself, trying to make herself as small as possible, and hide her growing blush from her friends. She knew this topic would come up at some point during the sleepover. She just hoped Laney would start waxing poetic about Walker and everyone would want to move on from the subject to get her to shut up. Her hopes were dashed, however, when the conversation was immediately started by Laney asking her which boy she liked. 

“Why?” Chessler asked, taking a sip straight from the bottle of whiskey they knicked from her parent's liquor cabinet. 

“‘Cause then we can help her get the fella to notice ‘er!” Laney replied with a sweet smile that didn’t make Tessa feel any better. “Get’er a date! Everybody’s datin’ now.” 

They were fourteen, and it certainly felt like all of a sudden everyone was seeing somebody. Or liked somebody. Or was caught kissing so-and-so in such-and-such a place. Just last week, Shania Lovegrove walked into school with a rounded stomach she could no longer hide. Tessa’s parents, when she told them about it, discussed Shania and the baby in a sad way. But all her classmates simply marveled at the fact that she had sex. Wondering if and when they could do that too.

Chessler scoffed. “Boys’re stupid.”

“Y’re stupid,” Laney defended.

Thus another one of their arguments began. Common amongst the two friends so different from one another. But always ended in that way that was easily forgotten, and always was. Tessa was just thankful that all of the attention was off of her for the time being.

Until Riley sat down on the floor beside her. 

Riley Lopez. Tessa’s best friend since daycare days, when they were just learning to walk and playing with the toy horses together. Hair dark and curls unruly with eyes to match, Riley was a leader. Always had been. She was confident and caring, stood up for herself and for her friends. She was late to everything, a trait inherited from her mother, but you could always count on her to show up eventually. She listened well, and liked listening to Tessa best. 

“You like someone,” Riley pointed out quietly as their other friends continued to bicker.

Not a question. A fact. Straightforward but kind.

Tessa’s cheeks heated up again, her heart pounding in her chest. “H-How do you know?”

“‘Cause’y’re all red in the face.” She leaned back against the wall. “Wanna tell me who?”

“Y’gonna tell ’im I like ‘im?” 

Riley gave her a look. “Y’know I wouldn’t. Won’t even tell Laney.”

That made Tessa laugh quietly, releasing some of the tight grip she had on her knees. She leaned back against the wall with her friend and sighed. Her heart rate only slightly slowed. 

“‘S’Rhett Abbott. I really like ‘im.”

Tessa shook her head and picked up the box at her feet. Just a stupid adolescence crush. She got over it eventually and he never found out about it. Mostly because if he ever did she was sure he would reject her. Or she would just keel over and die. Either or. It took a long time for her to be confident enough in herself to go after what she wanted. And by that time, her crush on Rhett Abbott was long forgotten. 

Or at least that’s what she thought.

She could still feel the lingering heat in her face and neck over the way he said her name. At that small smile that showed more in his blue eyes than anything else. It was as if she was suddenly fourteen again — admiring from across a circle of friends and looking away anytime he caught her eye. 

“Who was that?” Linda asked as Tessa walked into the living room.

“Just another donation,” she answered, lifting the box slightly before setting it down with the rest stacked in the corner.

They were working on sorting it all by size so they could then be washed. A few days from now, the five boys under their care would get to take their pick from the clothes for the new school year. Tessa sat down on the couch and began going through the trashbag she left to answer the knock at the door. Linda sat on the couch to her right doing the same.

“Talked for a long time,” Linda mumbled.

Linda Sarver was a caring woman, but particular and oftentimes came across harsh. Heavy-set with dark hair kept short and beady eyes hidden behind purple, wire-frame glasses. In her mid-fifties, she was unmarried and bitter about it. She would never blame the job for her circumstance, but really it was the root cause. Linda was wholly dedicated to the Home and had been for nearly twenty years. It was her life’s work, her everything. It and its inhabitants always came first to her. At the cost of her personal life and potential personal dreams. 

Tessa liked to think if she at least got laid, she would be a little less uptight. But she loved her co-worker all the same.

“He’s a friend from high school,” she answered, fishing out a shirt, checking the size, and throwing it in the proper pile.

Linda clicked her tongue; threw a pair of jeans. “Just watch out for that Abbott boy.”

“Oh, so you were listening.” 

“‘Course I was.” Linda glanced at her sharply. “Those Abbotts’re strange — you should steer clear is all m’sayin’.”

Tessa’s brow furrowed. From what she remembered of the other Abbotts, they seemed normal enough. Quiet, old-fashioned to some degree — classically Western and mild-mannered. Always went to church and never caused a fuss save for those boys of theirs. Her parents telling stories about Perry getting into fights before he went off to college and finally settled down. And Rhett of course drinking too much, too young. But she supposed, after all she had learned, there was always a root cause for children acting the way they do. 

And nine times out of ten it was the parents.

“What makes ya say that?” she questioned.

Linda paused her sorting, set the sweater she held down in her lap and leaned in closer. Tessa raised her brows in interest, also pausing her work to listen.

“I remember when Royal first arrived in Wabang. I’s’just a kid. He just showed up on the Abbott land one day — outta the blue. And none of’em would say where he came from. What he’s doin’ on their land in the first place. Just that he was runnin’ from somethin’ and he was gonna be livin’ with ‘em from now on.” She spoke in a hush, as if the Abbotts were right around the corner and would hear her. “It was the seventies, y’could do that sorta thing back then — nobody kept any record’a kids like they do now. But, anyway, Royal grows up on the Abbott Ranch and when him n’that Cecelia were old enough…They got married.” 

“Oh,” Tessa said, head cocked to one side.

She had never heard that story before. Had never even thought to ask. That meant Royal wasn’t even Abbott by blood. And the ranch wasn’t his at all. It was Cecelia’s. She was going to have to ask her parents about this the next time she saw them. While she believed Linda, she wondered if they even knew.

“Exactly.” She whipped the sweater out of her lap to check the size. “S’like marryin’ your brother.”

Tessa didn’t say anything more and it was quiet for a long time.

As much as she loved her, she didn’t want to end up like her co-worker. 

Though Tessa loved her work and the Home and all the boys under their care, she didn’t want to suddenly be fifty and single and as bitter to love as Linda Sarver. But so far, after working there full time for two years, Tessa didn’t see a way to avoid it. Her hours were long. Her days off were few and far between and often interrupted by a call that she was needed. The few dates she did schedule moved around until they gave up or canceled altogether. She didn’t even have a place of her own. All she had was a small room in the upstairs portion of the Home — in case of an emergency — and that was it. No privacy. Just Linda across the hall like some ghost from her own future. Showing her exactly what she was going to end up being if fate didn’t intervene. 

Angry at love, alone, and buried in rewarding work — but still nonetheless buried.

On Sunday, Tessa had the day off and had almost completely forgotten about Rhett Abbott. She packed a bag, and left the Boy’s Home with hugs and promises to be back on Monday morning. 

She spent the day at her parent’s place. A horse ranch with acres of wide, open pasture and two dozen or so horses in their care. Some of the other ranchers of Wabang liked to call it a tourist ranch due to the cabins on their property they rented out for a bit of extra cash and the horse riding lessons they offered. Her parents had always paid them no mind. Liking to remind them that their children usually came to their ranch to learn how to curve barrels and weave polls. That usually shut them up nicely.

The house nestled just off the main road, dividing the line between their east and west pastures, was small. A rebuild in the sixties after the original farmhouse was knocked down in a storm. No one was alive who remembered the storm — but according to the stories it was the worst Wabang had ever seen. Made of yellow siding and stone, the house barely contained the Abernathy family of five while Tessa was growing up. But now all three daughters were older and moved out and the tiny house suddenly felt like too much room for just Nathaniel and June. 

Tessa pulled into the short drive with a smile. Her older sister’s car already parked near the front porch. 

Inside, the house was bustling with life. Her sister’s three children running around on the hardwood floors, being chased by their Poppy. A George Strait record was playing, filling all the corners and cracks with I Can Still Make Cheyenne. Distantly, she could hear pots and pans clattering together in the kitchen. No doubt her mother and sister trying to coordinate cooking breakfast together. The furniture was old but comfortable — well lived in. A quilt made by her mother draped over every couch and chair. The walls were covered in family photos and art bought at craft fairs.

It was nothing special. But Tessa felt her very bones settle into the space. A weight from weeks spent away lifted from her shoulders. This was coming back home. A release and an anchoring.

Her brother-in-law, a ranch hand who seemed perpetually tired, was the first to greet her from his spot on the living room sofa, looking at his phone. “Hey, Tess.”

“Hey, Slick,” she answered as she toed off her sneakers at the door.

The kids ran by giggling and screaming on their way to the dining room to then loop back through the kitchen and the living room to do it all over again. They were slowly pursued by Tessa’s father acting like a monster. His hands raised high over his head and loud roars added to the cacophony of sounds. The sight made her laugh as she dropped her overnight bag on the floor. 

But he stopped the act once he spotted her. His wrinkled face as treated leather lighting up as he brought her into his arms. 

“Tessa-Bug!” he laughed heartily as he squeezed her into his broad chest. “Oh, I’ve missed you!” 

She wrapped her arms around him, feeling like that same little kid but all grown up all at once, and took in his familiar scent. Hay and Old Spice soap. 

“Missed you too, Dad.” 

“Tessa’s here? Oh, thank God!” her sister Shiloh called from the kitchen. 

Her mother chimed in loudly. “Honey, we desperately need your assistance in here!”

“They’ve been tryin’ t’make y’r quiche for twenty minutes,” her father muttered to her like it was a secret. 

“Oh, geez,” Tessa laughed, releasing him from their embrace. “Better go help then.”

After the quiche was correctly put together, Tessa explaining that the egg mix needed mayo which was why it didn’t look right, her mother and sister got started on the other breakfast items. Biscuits and gravy, sausages and bacon, and french toast for the kids. Shiloh broke out the things for mimosas and made each of them one with a mischievous smile. The kitchen soon filled with the smells of good food, laughter, and singing along to Do the Right Thing.

“Wish Rachel was here,” her mother commented on a sigh as she got down the plates. 

Shiloh and Tessa shared a knowing look. Rachel was the oldest Abernathy sibling. She lived two hours away in Casper and didn’t come out to visit her family much. Her excuse was always that she was busy. Which was taken as truth for a few years after she moved back from New York. She did just open her own law firm, after all. But as the years went by, the excuse was taken with more and more grains of salt. Everyone knew why she didn’t come to visit very much. A little bit of shame can go a long way, it seemed.

Only June Abernathy still held out hope for her oldest daughter. And would do so until the day she died.

Tessa, on the other hand, couldn’t help but think poorly of her sister. She was raised in Wabang, on that same horse ranch, just like the rest of them. But then she went off to New York and met that accountant — and suddenly she was too good for this place. For her family. It made something sour rise in her stomach. Share a glance with Shiloh who harbored similar feelings.

Mostly, she just hated the looks that would overcome her parents at the mere mention of Rachel. The sadness. The hope. How could she treat them that way? How could she make them feel like there was anything to be ashamed of?

Neither Shiloh nor Tessa made any reply to their mother’s quiet comment — continuing to cook breakfast in silence.

With the table set and the kids wrangled into staying in their seats, breakfast began. Praises and thanksgiving were passed around along with all the different dishes and sides. Nate groaned loudly as he took the first bite of quiche, giving Tessa a thumbs up and a slow nod of appreciation. She just laughed and rolled her eyes affectionately.

Slick helped one of his sons cut up his french toast and poured an appropriate amount of syrup over top. Then he leaned over and kissed his wife’s cheek with brown eyes brimming with love. He may have always been tired, but Slick Vawter loved his wife more than anything in the world. 

And Tessa wanted what they had. Those love-filled looks. That trust and respect and care. That hand on her thigh beneath the table, letting her know she was on a team. She wasn’t alone. They were in this together. 

But instead, she was surrounded on either side by her parents. Who laughed and told stories from the weeks since she last saw them. Who insisted she get a second helping of quiche. Who looked at her with love in their eyes but it wasn’t the same. 

It wasn’t what she couldn’t seem to find.

“Saw Rhett Abbott the other day,” Tessa commented off-handedly when the conversation seemed to lull, pushing around the last bits of sausage on her plate.

Her intent was to ask them all the story about Royal and Cecelia Abbott. If there was any truth behind Linda’s words. Who, after a few days to think about it, seemed oddly disgruntled about the whole thing. Part of her wondered if Linda was at all jealous of their relationship — even going so far as to imagine that once upon a time Linda had a schoolyard crush on Royal. But bringing up Rhett seemed like the best way to ease into it. After all, she knew her family, and knew that they liked a good lead-up story. 

Shiloh perked up from the other side of the table. Her children long dismissed to keep playing. “Didn’t you have a crush on ‘im in high school?”

“Maybe.” 

“He the bull rider? Royal’s kid?” Nate questioned with a furrowed brow, leaned back in his chair to continue sipping at his black coffee.

“Yeah. He’s pretty good,” Slick chimed in.

June’s face lit with recognition. “Oh! He’s the one y’wrote in y’r diary ‘bout!” 

“Ma!” Tessa hissed, exasperated, already feeling a heat rushing to her cheeks.

Maybe she shouldn’t have brought up Rhett after all.

“Wait, what’d she put in’er diary?” Shiloh asked, grinning ear to ear.

“Ma, don’t you say a word!”

“Not much,” June answered, glancing over at her daughter with a grin over the lip of her coffee mug. “Just Tessa Abbott over and over with a bunch’a hearts n’all.”

“No, she didn’t!” Shiloh laughed.

“Ma!” Tessa crooned, slapping her hands over her face to hide her embarrassment and hunkering down in her chair. 

There was no way her sister was letting that go anytime soon. 

“What? S’not my fault ya left it open right there on y’r bed!” 

“It’s embarrassing!” she argued.

Nate leaned in closer to his daughter. “Gotta admit, sis, it’s a lil’ funny.”

Thus began an Abernathy argument about privacy and high school crushes. Linda’s story concerning the Abbott’s history completely forgotten.

In early September, the morning was bright and clear and warm. A light, cooling breeze was carried off the mountains in the west. The blue sky dotted with white clouds like tufts of cotton. The rolling green fields swayed with the long grass as a sea. It was beautiful, and it made Tessa ache with the bitter tang of nostalgia.

So similar was it to the days of her youth, and yet so far removed. 

Inside the stables, she found her horse waiting for her. A beautiful chestnut pinto mare with a long chestnut mane and tail. Her face had a white blaze down the center, her eyes big and brown, and held what to Tessa looked like a kindred soul. 

“Hey, Peaches, my girl,” Tessa greeted as she approached with saddle in hand. 

The horse whinnied sharply and tossed her head. Excited to see her rider after so long apart. Peaches was usually out in the pasture with all the other horses. Brought in occasionally for a visitor to ride when needed because she was one of the more well-behaved and patient horses. But it was clear that Peaches missed being ridden by Tessa. The girl who stayed up all night to watch her be born, named her, and was the first person to ever sit on her back. And who also wasn’t afraid to let her run at full speed. 

Tessa slung the saddle over the edge of the stall and scratched at Peaches’ head. “Y’ready to ride?”

After Peaches was properly saddled and fed one of the three apples stowed away for later, Tessa climbed onto the horse's back and set off at a trot out of the stable. The sun was hot but cleansing — and beautiful. It shone in Peaches’ mane and upon the still dew-covered earth. Birds chirped from their nests high in the stable rafters and the sky overhead. Distantly, she could hear her father singing as he worked in the garden by their house, her nieces and nephews screaming with glee; and it made her smile. 

She set off through the west pasture, towards the old creek and the mountains beyond. Once they were clear of the fence, Peaches took off at a gallop with Tessa’s gentle urging. The wind whipped through her hair as she crouched down closer to Peaches’ back, reigns only held loosely in her hand. Peaches knew where to go. Towards the hill that overlooked the valley below, a single oak tree standing resolute at the top. 

Her spot. Tessa’s spot since she learned how to ride. The place she would go when she just needed to be alone, to take a minute to breathe, to let the world settle around her. She always felt her most happy on that hill. Where the sun shined and the wind cooled her skin. Where there were no worries about school or jobs or relationships or anything. Where it was just her and Peaches and the great Wyoming sky — stretching forever and infinite. 

Recently, however, there has been a new addition to her hilltop sanctuary. 

The man in the valley. 

Beneath the hill, further west, was a parcel of land not owned by the Abernathys. The great oak tree, really, was the border of their property — the fence only a short way down the hill. For years, nearly all of her growing up and even some of her adult life, the land wasn’t owned by anyone but the state. Left wild and overgrown but beautiful. The valley below filled with wildflowers of all colors, a little stream, and surrounded on all sides by dense forest.

Until one day, coming on five years ago now, Tessa rode up to her spot on the hill and found there was a gravel drive leading into the valley — and a nice solid foundation had been poured. From her perspective, it was no bigger than the size of her thumb held up to one eye. She asked her parents who had finally bought the parcel, but they had no idea who it was, just that they must have gotten a mighty good deal on it since it had been sitting for so long. 

In five years, not much progress had been made on the house. 

As she got down from Peaches and fed her the second apple, she looked down into the valley to see what had been added since the last time she was able to get out there. The framework appeared almost finished. That alone took him almost two years. 

Him. The man in the valley. The only person she had ever seen working on the house. 

Tessa couldn’t tell much about him. Except that he liked to wear hats, drove a blue truck, and was slow with construction work. Those were really the only facts she could assume. Everything else, she made up some story. 

She liked to think he was building the house for his future bride. Making it big enough for them and a few kids — the kitchen with a lot of windows just how she liked. Only working on it when he could find the time. Ring tucked in his pocket to keep it safe. Tessa liked to think he listed to Kenny Rogers and George Jones while he worked. That he cursed really loud when he hit his thumb. That he loved his girl so much he wanted to give her this. A beautiful home on beautiful land, just for them, made with his own two hands. But it wasn’t ready. Not yet. 

It made a sigh, longing and heartache, well up inside her as she gazed down into the valley. Hands in her back pockets, brown hair picked up by the breeze. A beautiful fantasy, one that probably wasn’t even real. But it was fun to pretend. To think that stories like that still existed for some people. 

Even if it would never be her. 

Tessa perked up, however, when she noticed that the man’s truck was in the drive. She always felt a bit like a creep when they were there at the same time, but really, she couldn’t help but love watching him. Fantasizing about what he may be like and what he was building for.

He was wearing his regular hat today — not his stetson. Dark hair peaking out the back. The truck bed was open, tools and two-by-fours spilled out onto the hatch. He walked around from the other side of the house, flannel in hand. It was starting to get hot as the sun rose in the sky and noon approached. Chucking the shirt into the bed of the truck, he picked up a water bottle and titled his head back to drink. 

Surely he was handsome. A ranch hand with lean, farmer’s muscles to match. A rugged sort of beauty. Someone who worked with his hands and smelled like Marlboro reds. Wore his boots until they were falling apart and liked his beers chilled. Her man in the valley.

Turning on her heel, Tessa walked under the shade of the oak tree where Peaches was already taking refuge from the sun. She could still see the man, leaning against his truck and staring at the house, from there. Her parents could probably tell her who bought the land now. But at this point, she didn’t want to know. The story she made up for him and his house too sweet to be soiled by reality. So, she sat down with her back leaned against the great big trunk, and she watched quietly. 

Not even an hour passsed, the man moving back and forth between the area behind the house that still needed framing and his truck for wood, when her phone began to ring in her pocket. Another perk of her spot on the hill. It was high enough that she still got some cell service. She smiled, Riley was calling her. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Tessa answered. 

“Hey, babe,” Riley replied, clearly working on something in the background. “This’s a Sunday you have off, right?”

“Sure is. Y’wanna make plans?”

“Yeah. Rodeo’s tonight — that sound good?”

“Sounds great.” Tessa got up from the ground, wiping the grass and dirt from her jeans. “Meet you there?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll meet ya there. By the uh — by the funnel cake stand,” Riley said, sounding distracted — most likely from finishing last-minute paperwork for her father’s construction company. 

“Funnel cake, gotcha.” 

They spoke for a few more minutes, mostly about how they hadn’t seen each other in a while and they were excited to do something together for once. But eventually, they hung up, Tessa bringing Peaches out from under the tree branches so she could hop back into the saddle and start heading home. 

But she couldn’t help but look down into the valley one last time. One last glimpse at the house and the man who was building it one day at a time. Only, it looked like he was staring up the hill at her, somehow. And she wondered if he knew there was a girl on the hill who liked to dream about him.

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[soulofapatrick]

Finding Family - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: It’s been six months after agreeing to stay in Jackson and Joel’s starting to act suspicious so you pry the answer from Tommy and it’s very far from what you could have ever expected

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: a little angst; fluff’ smut (p in v); overstimulation; edging; a little cockwarming and teasing but very fluffy too 

NOTES: Chapter 8 of Let Me Save You

Y/N’s POV

The months pass and we settle in more and more until no-one looks at us funny and people actually talk to us. Joel’s softened up, becoming more of the man Tommy will tell me about whenever I visit him. I’ve been put on patrols with Tommy and Jesse but if I’m not on patrol I’m helping at the kennels and stables, having a strong bond with animals. Joel calls me the animal whisperer which always makes me laugh, smacking his arm lightly and telling him to shush even if my heart is full of love. 

Ellie’s having the time of her life, currently in her rebellious phase and has moved into her own small place not too far away. It was a struggle to get Joel to agree but after hours of reasoning with him he agreed, especially with the idea we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted without having to worry about how loud we were. He won’t admit it but I think that was the point that broke his resolve as we’ve had to be super quiet over the months. It’s hot but I want Joel to hear how much I’m enjoying it, instead his hand is usually over my mouth and his hips rocking into me slowly from behind as he silences my whines and moans. A pillow shoved between the gap of the headboard and wall to silence the bed and the duvet pulled over us just in case Ellie wants to come in without knocking which she has done before. 

Ellie’s got a girlfriend but she’s not out to us yet. I know exactly who it is and knows she’s gay, Joel getting the hint too when I mentioned Ellie spending a lot of time with that girl, Cat, with a lot of sleepovers. Joel wanted to confront Ellie and tell her we both support her but again, I had to show him logic and we’d let her come to us as it’s Ellie. You don’t push Ellie, you let her come to you or she’ll close up and it’ll take months before she’s back to telling you everything. However, I have noticed that Ellie’s been eyeing Jesse’s on and off girlfriend - Dina - a lot and I have a bet with Joel how long it’ll take for her to admit her feelings to Dina as I really don’t like her with Cat. Cat seems to just be using her but I’m not going to broach that subject before Ellie does the whole ‘I’m gay’ admittance first. 

Joel’s begun acting weird, he’s disappearing a lot and Tommy’s been taking me on more patrols or making me join me him and Maria at the Tipsy Bison in the evenings. It’s been happening for weeks and as much as Joel and I have been through together I’m getting anxious as I wouldn’t be surprised if now that we’re settled that he’s bored of me. I’m not Tess who he was probably having relations with before I came alone and I have a lot of baggage that I dumped on him all those months back. He’s no less physically with me but thinking about it, it’s usually me bent over a table or face down on the bed so he’s never looking at me. Maybe he’s picturing another woman. There are plenty of pretty women in Jackson who have been ogling him, maybe he gave into one of them and now he pictures her every time we have sex?

“What’s got you frowning, huh?” Tommy’s sliding into the booth next to me, a few minutes late to when he told me I had to be here. He’s pulling me into a side hug, letting me rest my head on his shoulder as he quickly worked out one of my romantic and non romantic love languages is physical contact so he makes a habit of hugging me or slinging his arm around my shoulder where he can. 

“Joel’s acting weird.” I blurt out, keeping my face in his shirt as I don’t wanna see the reaction from him. It could tell all as Tommy’s not the best at keeping his features straight, meaning I’ll see my answer and I’m terrified of it being what I don’t want it to be. 

“Yeah, that’s Joel for you.” 

“Is he cheating on me?” I glance up in time to see Tommy choke on his beer, cognac eyes wide in surprise. He recovers, wiping away the spilt beer, setting the bottle on the table and turning his body so he’s facing me properly. 

“You really think Joel would cheat on you?” He asks, catching my hands in his and rubbing my knuckles gently, “Do you know how much that man won’t shut up about you while on patrols? Maria even had to resort to snowballs to get him to shut the fuck up one time.” 

The thought of Maria of all people, big; strong and straight faced Maria throwing a snowball at Joel just so he would stop rambling makes me giggle a little. Joel gets very into it when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about, hands flailing, years falling from him as he gets so excited and turns into a human firework about to go off. The reassurance quells my fears but not entirely, a tiny ember in the back of my mind still there and ready to turn into a whole forest fire if I don’t get the exact truth from Tommy. 

“So why does he keep disappearing at odd hours?” I ask, widening my eyes and making the best puppy dog eyes at the younger brother as I can. He steels me with a glare, looking away but I grab his face and make him look at me until the resistance crumbles and he’s sighing when I add a quiet, “Pleaseeeee Tommyy…”

“He’s been in touch with Fireflies-“ 

“WHAT?!” 

Tommy’s grabbing, forcing me back into my seat so he can finish talking but all I can think about is Ellie and how could Joel do this to me. I think I can hear my heart break at the thought of Joel going behind my back to turn in the girl we’ve come to raise as our daughter together. Maybe nothing Joel said about us being a family was real and he is just u-

“He’s looking for Scott and Shepherd to bring them to Jackson.” 

“What?” It comes out quieter this time and I think I stop breathing. I must have misheard Tommy. There’s no way Joel would go that far out of his way to find my brothers I left in Boston. He’s going to get himself killed or Maria is gonna do it herself if she finds out he’s been on the radio. Maria is very adamant we stay off the radios to keep the settlement safe as she believes if no one knows it exists then no one will try take over which makes sense, “But… Maria… But…” 

Tommy laughs softly, eyes soft as mine flick up to meet his, and I’m just leaning forwards until my forehead hits his chest and he’s wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I don’t know if I cry or not, feeling like I’m looking at myself from the side as my mind goes back to Scott and Shepherd living in such innocence back in Boston as they would be kept inside until the burnings were done with. I can barely feel Tommy’s arms around me, one rubbing my back soothingly as I grip his thigh to try and ground myself as there’s a chance I might see my brothers again. What would I tell them? How do I let them know about Elliott? Will they forgive me for up and leaving them that day? What-

“Shhhh, I can hear you thinking,” Tommy whispers, pressing a kiss to my forehead, “Remember you can’t tell Joel I told you any of this okay?” 

*

I hear Joel moving around the bedroom, undressing as quietly as he can, thinking I’m asleep but I can’t sleep after what Tommy told me earlier. It’s not long before the duvet lifts and the bed dips with his weight, his strong arms wrapping around me and pulling me against his chest while his lips press a sweet kiss to my shoulder. 

“Is it true?” I’m speaking quietly before I can stop myself and he freezes, lips still on my shoulder, just for a second before he’s laying his head back to the pillow, not speaking and waiting for me to continue. I roll over in his arms so we’re facing each other and he’s moving one of those calloused hands up to my cheek, thumb rubbing lovingly and honey eyes soft in the moonlight, “Is it true you’re looking for Scott and Shep?” He sighs defeated, letting his eyes slip shut and grumbling about how he’s gonna kick Tommy’s ass the next time he sees his younger brother, drawing a small laugh from me before I speak again, “I forced him to tell me, as you know I may have the best puppy dog eyes ever.” 

There’s a rumble in his chest before his eyes are fluttering back open and he’s asking in a even quieter voice, “Are you upset?” 

“No! God, no! I ummm… I was worried you were well... bored of me.” I admit and suddenly I’m being pushed onto my back, Joel hovering over me with eyes dark and full of a mixture of hurt and anger. He doesn’t let me speak, kissing the next word out of my mouth with a hunger I haven’t felt from him before. It’s breathtaking and I like it, matching his hunger and need as our lips smash together almost painfully, teeth clicking and tongues searching. His hands are tugging my panties to the side and I’m spreading my legs, gasping into his mouth when he circles my clit. 

I go to tangle my hands in his hair but he grips my wrists and forces my hands back to the headboard, growling out, “You hands better stay here until I say,” And the power and possessiveness of it as my walls clenching around nothing as I do as he says, gripping onto the wooden headboard. He practically rips my shirt open, mouthing hot kisses along the exposed skin with a promise to trade for a new one but I don’t care, all I can think about now is how I want this rougher side of Joel when he bites almost painfully down on one nipple, his fingers still working at my clit and bringing me closer and closer to my first happy ending of the night. He’s trailing his kisses lower and lower until he’s biting hickeys into my hips and my legs are slamming shut around his hand, head falling back and eyes slipping shut, hips grinding down for more when there’s suddenly nothing. I let out a sound of anguish and my eyes are flying back open to see him hovering over me, a cheeky grin on his face as he watches me, speaking lowly, “You think I want some other woman below me writhing and moaning my name when I have you baby girl?” 

“I-I’m sorry,” I choke out, my hips rocking down trying to find that final release but coming up empty as Joel just quirks a brow, “Please Joel, only you. It’s just us, together, please Joel I need you.” I’m a begging mess but it seems to do the trick because the pads of his fingers are abusing my swollen clit and he’s swallowing every moan, mouth fitting to mine perfectly in a slightly sweeter kiss until I’m arching my back and that tightness snaps, his name falling from my lips like a prayer as I ride out my high. He keeps moving his fingers, other hand tightly on my hip as I whine and try to wriggle away from oversensitivity but it just makes him smirk as he trails open mouthed kisses down my neck, only stopping the overstimulation when I’m right there again. I wanna smack him and cry but my hands stay right where they are, gripping the headboard so tightly my knuckles have gone white. 

All I can do is watch as he slips out of his boxers, dick smacking against his stomach and the angry head leaking precum that I wanna lick up and leave him wanting more like he’s going to me right now. The thought draws a whine from me and the possessive look seems to melt into something loving as he sees how high strung I am and how desperately I fucking need him right now. 

Joel takes pity on me, slipping the head teasingly through my folds and nudging my oversensitive clit a few times just to hear me gasp and moan until he’s gripping my hips and bottoming out with no warning. It draws a small scream from me as he smacks that spongy spot dead on and I have to tighten my walls not to come then and there. He lets me adjust to him, no matter how many times we have sex or make love I don’t think I could get used to how thick he is, stretch me open so fucking wide every time. I’m almost removing my hands from the headboard when he begins pounding into me like there’s no tomorrow, my eyes rolling back into my head and as quickly as the pleasure is there, it’s gone. Joel’s got that smirk on his face again as I hold back my whines, feeling so full of him and needing him to move but instead he removes my hands from the headboards and rearranges us, slipping out and then I’m really whining as I’m too empty too soon. 

“Patience baby girl,” He soothes, sitting back against the headboard and drawing me onto his lap, “You wanna get off you’re gonna have to do it yourself,” He whispers in my ear, sinking me onto his dick and leaning back so he can watch my face contort with a mixture of pleasure and pain. His honey eyes are almost black at this point, hands behind his head and an eyebrow raised as he waits, watching me cockwarm him until I can’t take it anymore. My hands fly to his shoulders to stabilise myself as I begin to ride him. He tries to keep the pleasure off his face and his arms behind his head but I can see the way they itch to grip my hips and fuck me onto his dick so I lean forwards and suck a few hickeys on his neck before whispering, “Ruin me baby, remind me who’s I am again.” 

It doesn’t take long after his hands fly to my hips, nails leaving half mood crescents in my skin and are sure to leave hand print bruises that I’m moaning his name into the crook of his neck. My thighs clamping shut around his and my walls even tighter, as if trying to milk him dry while my hand not pressed to the wall behind him is tugging at his hair. He’s struggling to hold on a little longer so I bite down on that sweet spot just above his collarbone and he’s yanking me back down one more time, head falling back and mouth open in the perfect ‘o’ shape as he begins filling me with his thick ropes and my name falls from his lips. 

We just stay like that, Joel’s strong arms wrapping around my waist as I draw him into a lazy kiss, both of us panting and trying to catch out breaths as we come down from the highs. He shuffles down the bed so we’re facing each other again, both of us groaning when he slips out and he’s mumbling, “I would never cheat on you baby girl. You mean too much to me…” hand finding mine and face warm, “If I were to lose you I’d surely lose myself.”

“I love you too, I’m sorry I even began to think that.” I sigh lightly, scratching my fingers through his beard before running my thumb over his bottom lip before we’re leaning in for a kiss. It’s sweet and gentle, full of love and emotions neither of us know how to say, “Fuck what about Ellie?” I’m pulling back suddenly, releasing how fucking loud we were but Joel’s just chuckling. 

“She’s at Dina’s with Jesse and Dina.” He reassures me and I’m sighing with relief, letting Joel pull me into his arms. We should really clean up the mess but when I feel his heart beneath my ear I can barely keep my eyes open, feeling myself being dragged to sleep and hearing the quietest whisper before I’m out. 

“I plan on marrying you baby girl.”

---------------

Chapter One ⇢ Save Who You Can Save

Chapter Two ⇢ Stitches

Chapter Three ⇢ Keep You Safe

Chapter Four  ⇢ Escape Kansas City

Chapter Five ⇢ Finding Tommy

Chapter Six ⇢ Revealing Secrets

Chapter Seven ⇢ Crossed Paths

Chapter Eight ⇢ 

Chapter Nine ⇢ Two Become One

Chapter Ten ⇢ Coming Soon

--------------

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[lyspunkt-star]

Broadchurch ramble 1

Rewatch Broadchurch and next thing I know, I’m working on a broadchurch fic. Come on, imagine Hardys, Millers and Latimers can actually be such a beautiful found family. They all went through so much shit but still soo strong. They all deserve more happiness and family time.

Aaaand, omg I just wanna scream and hug Alec Hardy this ridiculous man A LOOOOT!! Pls he deserves sooooo much love and kindness and some real friends like Miller.

Oh and also some father-daughter time, they finally FINALLY get back together, so why not? They still have so much to talk and figure out, maybe some confessions or apologies, but we didn’t have much in S3. And, Tess please go away❌

Anyway, this one (maybe these?) will be some domestic and soft fluff. And it’s definitely alright if someone also wants to use this as a prompt or something, I’ll be over the moon!