#and i usually dont even get sick of it i simply forget it exists until i stumble upon it one day and rediscover it

[fallenangels95]

im known in my friend group for being the girl who hyperfixated on anything by adrianne lenker and one of my best friend was literally living with me at one point cause we're always staying at each other's place and i remember her saying she used to love that song but since i made her go through this she couldnt stand listening to it for a while and its so funny to me cause at the time i had not even realised i was listening to it EVERY DAY, on repeat, for HOURS. i think it happened with half return too like jdjsjsj poor girl i traumatized her fr

anyway. found another adrianne lenker song (ruined) to fixate on hehe

[autisticstarseed]

👐 Hand washing guide when you have sensory issues 👐

tbh. we shouldve been talking abt this a long time ago for many disabled ppls sake but ive put this post off for like a million years out of pure solidified fear of ableist harassment/kneejerk ignorance and also generalized cringe idiots but now that we got so much covid-19 fear and autistic ppl actually tend to have weaker immune systems than most people lets jump the shark;;;

i have autism and i physically struggle with washing my hands as often as i want to, having wet hands, drying them, the temperature difference, bad soap smells/textures, etc. are all genuinely painful. the good news is that ive dealt with water aversion shit since birth (its a common sensory issue), so ive had time to figure out alternatives and coping skills that still help reduce risk of disease and spreading it in ways that i can personally manage. (ie. not lazy or selfish or gross. genuinely putting more effort into this every day task than most other people would even think about. just disability lads) so heres the guide i have to offer if you’re in a similar boat, with some keypoints about hand hygiene and tips addressing the most common sensory struggles ive noticed with it;;;

1. hand sanitizer

i love hand sanitizer, i can get it in almost any scent i want and it dries down very very fast. the problem is; hand washing and hand sanitizer do different things. it only kills certain types of germs. which is all fine and dandy, but because of this, using only hand sanitizer wont actually keep you from catching or spreading many illnesses. so what its good for is times you cant wash your hands (out in public, sensory overload, no spoons, etc), thats fine, but it should not replace all hand washing if at all possible. it is supposedly effective to covid-19, but so little is currently known that it should not be considered your go to for this, and the only unanimous statement straight from the CDC is that hand washing works best at preventing its spread.

temperature - if you have trouble with it being too cold, conveniently keeping it in your pocket or closely against your body in some way warms it up and makes it much more comfortable. 

scent - they come in almost any scent you can imagine, but if you have trouble with strong scents, there are ‘scentless hand sanitizers’. they usually have a faint chemical smell, so if there are any testers available, you should check to make sure it can work for you before you buy it.

texture - if gel doesnt cut it, they also make foamy hand sanitizers and liquid sprays, but theyre harder to find and might be a little more pricey.

and remember; always buy hand sanitizer that says it contains AT LEAST 60% alcohol, the higher alcohol content the better, but try to keep track of how high it is and how much you apply it so you dont dry your skin out. and right now price gouging is pretty bad, so dont be surprised if you cant find any for a while, and dont buy any small bottle that costs over a couple dollars, its a rip off.

2. hand washing 

so what does hand washing do thats better than sanitizer??? soap and water lift up the dirt and oils that are carrying the germs and actually wash them off, and not only that, it also gets rid of all the things sanitizer cant, such as dust/dirt, spores, chemicals, and the previously mentioned viruses that are harder to kill. ik to an outside perspective it might not seem that hard, but obviously when you have autism and these tasks are split down into bigger ordeals and sensory nightmares, it can feel impossible. 

soap - there are so many different kinds of soap! scentless soaps exist, and they very rarely have any lingering chemical smell! theres also soap for sensitive skin, and baby soap also works well for that issue. bar soaps can come in all different shapes and sizes, with many different ingredients and additives to choose from (independent soap makers are an amazing source for customized soap btw), and liquid soaps can be pure gel, frothy, mousse-y or even have tiny exfoliating or moisturizing beads in them if thats a sensory experience you enjoy. this is my number one rec for people struggling with hand washing bc of sensory issues;;; mix up the soap. finding one that gives you an okay or even a GOOD sensory experience can completely turn around an otherwise meltdown inducing task

temperature - this is the one thats always been hardest for me. cold water straight up hurts me, and our plumbing is Terrible, so the trick i have for slow pipes is to run the hot water on high as Soon as i get into the bathroom. leave it going and by the time you’re done there should be at least lukewarm water. if this still takes too long for you, try out the various sinks in your house, usually one is able to get hot water faster than the rest (for me its the kitchen sink) and that can become a designated station for you if need be.

texture - some ppl just hate water. if thats the case, it rly doesnt change much abt the process if you use less water, ie work the soap into a lather, and then only use as much as you need to rinse it off. you dont have to keep your hands under the whole time, the soap clings to the dirt, the water takes it off all together, as long as you scrub well and rinse till you see no suds, you’re good 

If it really comes down to it, a washcloth with water+soap, a disinfecting wipe, or even literally just a rinse with plain ol water is better than nothing, but the stream of water and act of rubbing the soap in is the most effective combo against disease. soap/disinfectant wipes and hand sanitizers are your second best option. if theres a time in your life where an issue is so disabling for you that you truly cant keep any of this up, rly the most important thing is to limit your direct physical contact with your face and commonly used objects as MUCH as possible until you can figure smth out. (you kno those old ladies that grab a wipe and open the doorknob with it between their hand and the knob? become that old lady) and if push comes to shove, if a safe and accepting therapy setting is something accessible to you, hygiene struggles are actually something many mental health professionals understand Very well and can help you cope with personally and directly, without shame.

3. hand drying

this is also. my personal hell. and what most people say is the hardest part of the sensory experience. but ya cant just walk around with wet hands right

towels - the obvious choice for most, but to me they actually dont dry enough. i always end up damp and with lint stuck to me. this kills the man. but hand towels do have some variety to them, you can find em with really long fibers or really short/flat, really fuzzy or really stiff, etc. sounds silly but its smth a lot of ppl dont think about that can change a lot. you can also try super absorbent towels (yes like a shamwow), and again baby bath towels are also an option if you want something gentle.

paper towels - yeah a little more wasteful and expensive, but imo much more absorbent. theyre also pretty thin so you can get between your fingers (MY BANE), and under your nails if you use a corner. 10/10

blow drying - ik this is the kind of shit you only see in like movie theaters and malls and they are definitely LOUD AS SHIT, but if you happen to have the money, and struggle more with Textures than Noise, ie a stream of warm air seems worth the sound, you Can actually find a small basic one of these items for your own home. 

4. public restrooms

everybody hates em!!! but you can make em more tolerable;;;

soap - bring your own! little travel soaps you can keep in your bag are a godsend for ppl with sensory issues, sensitive skin/allergies, and if you just prefer not sharing soap.

temperature - most public places i notice actually do get hot water pretty fast (like,,, too fast,,, like,,, it bur ns me) so if there are no faucets and its too hot or too cold, once again you can try different sinks and one might be more comfortable. if there are faucets i recommend grabbing a paper towel to turn it off, so you dont have to touch it again with your clean hands.

sound - WHY R AUTOMTIC FLUSH TOILETS SO FUCKEN LOUDD..... honestly if you have noise cancelling earmuffs or earplugs or w/e pop em in. if you dont have any of that i just literally plug my ears with my fingers when i stand up. if you struggle with the sound of the blow dryers, they almost always have paper towels as well, but its a great idea to carry something like that around in your bag with you just in case. if its really packed and people chattering is getting to you, sometimes the ‘family’ bathrooms are actually smaller and less full. if its bad enough and you feel comfortable asking, an employee might be able to direct you to a single stall bathroom or at least a different one than that.

and though its convenient, try not to use your sleeve to touch things like doorknobs, toilet handles, etc. instead use something disposable like a paper towel or wipe, bc the germs will simply transfer to your sleeve and still risk infecting you. 

5. schedule

the number one suggestion is to wash your hands literally as often as possible during a time like this but like. even for allistic/nt/abled/ ppl thats just not always an attainable schedule so the Best times to wash your hands are;;;

after using the bathroom - the most important time and generally the easiest to get used to. its smth you have to do multiple times a day that already has a schedule, and if you were to forget or go into sensory overload its usually immediately accessible as soon as you can. as i mentioned earlier, if you need help remembering, you can turn the water on when you first get in and leave it going.

the doctors - ANY KIND of health facility should be avoided right now unless really necessary, places where sick people would frequent is the quickest way to get sick but like. ya rly cant help it sometimes right. you cant stop dealing with your own illnesses just bc theres another one floating around. so, this is time to go apeshit on the handwashing. if your health issue involves coughing and sneezing, ask for a face mask. bring a scarf in case they dont have any, its not as great but better than nothing. otherwise, you honestly dont need it, face masks are more for these people bc they keep germs in better than out. whether you’re worried abt getting sick or infecting others, this is a time to use hand sanitizer, avoid physical contact like shaking hands [autistic cheering], and when you first arrive and right before you go to leave are the most important times to remember to wash your hands. 

preparing food - not as commonly spoken about, but also easy to work into a schedule. i personally dont care unless its food for somebody else or if im going to be putting my hands on it a lot, but if thats the case, a lot of the time thats produce you already want to wash in the sink, so you can kill two birds with one stone there. dont just get the germs off your own hands, get em off the fruits and veggies before you eat em. carpool

after grocery shopping - not very common. most ppl just slap some sanitizer/a wipe on there or dont think abt it at all, but if you just got home from walmart thats a great time to wash. you just touched a bunch of items other people touched, including the cart, money/credit cards, and all the products people will pick up and put back, so its prime germ time babey. But again, sanitizer or a wipe will help if its all you can manage after a trip out like that.

before self care - also uncommon. ppl always say ‘dont touch your face’ and ‘apply this product with clean hands’, and what they mean is that one of the fastest ways germs get into your system is through your mouth, nose, eyes and ears. if you’re simply washing your face theres not as much concern, but applying a mask, moisturizer, makeup, etc. should all be done after a gentle rinse of your hands (and face). very hard to get into the schedule of, but if you consider it a Part of your ‘self care’ or use a special fun cleanser, it can stick a little easier.

6. stim items

STIM ITEMS!! if you have stim items, its a good idea to clean them regularly, but even moreso during an outbreak like this.

rubber/plastic - if it goes in your mouth, hot water (not hot enough to melt!) and dish soap, if it doesnt, look up how to safely make a diluted bleach solution.

silicone - silicone is usually dish washer safe.

fabric - if its light, add bleach to the washing machine, if its colored, you can use white vinegar or hydrogen peroxide which are less likely to discolor any dyes. lysol detergent is also super great. small items you’re worried about losing, or items with details/loose parts, you can usually wash inside of a sealed pillow case. 

‘squishies’ - for ‘mochi’ squishies aka the rubbery ones, soap and water + some dusted baby powder or corn starch (optional) to keep it from grabbing lint for a while. for foam squishies, they can rarely be deep cleaned without the risk of growing mold or taking paint off, but a disinfecting wipe every now and then should keep it clean for a while.

slime - cant be disinfected, sorry. also a breeding ground for mold if you arent careful, so its always best to cycle through these quickly.

technology - cant really be completely sterilized, but there are many places to get sprays and cleaning wipes for the devices you use that can at least keep the areas your hands frequently touch a little cleaner.

BUT of course if your item comes with instructions on how to wash it, always follow that instead. this is just a general idea.

and as a final note;;; disabled ppl should not feel guilty or dirty for struggling with this. like. man idc abt ur cringe feels or your ignorant blame or your lack of understanding/sympathy for what goes into these tasks for us. if u dont wanna get our struggles and sensitivities when we’re working twice as hard on functioning tasks which personal ease you take for granted, thats on you. @ disabled people if you struggle with maintaining the same standard of hygiene as nts you arent gross or bad fucking person, you’re disabled and by definition that means your level of functioning will be different, and you deserve sympathy. its just that germs dont discriminate, they wanna cause problems for everybody involved (especially you!!!), so Anything you can manage is Great and if anything from this post can help make it a little easier for people in any way, i feel its absolutely necessary to talk about with respect and dignity. people with autism/adhd/sensory processing disorder/similar neurodivergencies/literally anybody else this could benefit, pls feel free to add on any tips you might have or send me questions. let disabled ppl help disabled ppl do our personal bests

[btsrmono]

Trial & Error | chapter 7

Main Pairing: (jimin): student/idol x (main): foreign student

Side Pairs: main x taehyung,, main x (nct) jaehyun

PART 6

"What it is?" Jimin asked, making you look up from your pizza to him.

 You sighed, leaning back on the couch sofa in your living room. You guys sat at the coffee table as you enjoyed each others company and forgot about everything you were both were stressed about for a while... Until he bought that up, at least.

"What is what?" you acted stupid.

"Y/n... Earlier. You were clearly crying in class today. What happened?" He bought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them, looking at you concerningly.

 You put your pizza down and breathed out, defeated. "I saw Taehyung today," you started. "And he just seemed... Not hisself."

"Yeah, he hasn't been lately," he agreed. "I think he's just upset that the fans are upset. Like, he doesn't want them to feel that way about him, you know? Just give it some time."

"But he told me not to talk to him anymore," you said.

"So what--"

"He seemed serious, Jimin."

He clenched his jaw before poking the inside of his right cheek with his tongue. "Forget him then--"

"No, Jimin, I'm not just going to just ‘forget him’. Tae is my best friend, he's all I had. I don't want him mad at me."

He sucked his teeth, seemingly getting mad. "So I guess I don't exist," he humped.

You cocked your right eyebrow in confusion. "Ummm say ‘sike’ because you and I didn't even start officially becoming friends up until about a week ago."

"But I'm here, right?"

"Yeah and I said he's all that I had, not have. Obviously, I have you right now but not too long ago, it was just him."

Suddenly, he looked sorry. "Oh," he said. "You're right. I'm sorry..."

 You shook your head after staring for quite some time. "No, Jimin... Don't be sorry." You rested your hand on his knee, reassuringly.

"I just want things to go back to normal," he whispered.

"Isn't your school almost done with the reconstruction?" you asked, placing your hand back in your crossed lap. "Maybe then, things will change."

 He shrugged. "They don't seem like they're getting done anytime soon, to be honest."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That sucks."

He smiled shyly at you. "No, actually, it's okay. I kinda like having class with you now," he said, winking.

"Jimin, are you flirting?" you teased.

"Maybe," he replied, biting his lip in a seductive manner and looking you up and down.

 You rolled your eyes, picking a pillow up and throwing it at his face. He instantly picked the pillow back up whilst laughing and gently tossed it back in your lap. You guys silently collected your fits of laughter together before Jimin turned to you again. "Hey, you still owe me ice cream."

"Ugh," you grunted. "Fine, let's go."

He smiled, jumping up quickly to go put on his shoes. You followed in his footsteps and both left the apartment, walking to the nearest ice cream parlor.

"Do you do this often?" Jimin spoke up in the midst of your journey.

"Do what?" you wondered.

"Walk alone at night like this."

"I'm not alone," you scoffed.

"Y/n, you know what I mean."

You shrugged your shoulders. "Sometimes. Why?"

He started to look at the ground as you two continued to walk. "It's just... You need to be more safe, okay?" You looked over at him, making him look back at you. "You're a pretty girl," he started. "And people can be crazy. Just start taking taxis everywhere. Got it?" He took his hand out of his pocket and roughly slapped his hand on your back right shoulder.

"Yah!" you yelled out. It was obviously just a playful hit that you doubt was meant to actually hurt but clearly Jimin just didn't know his power. "The only crazy person is you, you psychopath, who goes out to get ice cream while its cold outside?" you complained, rubbing your back shoulder in the spot where you could still feel some lingering pain.

 On your left, Jimin was just cracking up. You scowled at him, still lowkey upset about the hit but quickly getting over it as you both, unnoticeably, arrived at the parlor. "Aww, poor y/n," he joked, as he rubbed the spot for you.

 You pushed him off of you just before entering the store as Jimin followed, still laughing.

"What do you want?" you asked.

"What do you want?" he asked back.

"Mint chocolate chip."

He scanned the menu. "Melon," he decided.

 You shook your head, then paid for your order as Jimin found you guys a table to sit at. After handing him his bowl and sitting down across from him, you started to worry about something. "I figure this is a bad idea."

 Jimin tilted his head, picking his spoon up. "How so?"

 "It's just... Last time I was out with Tae--"

 "Oh please," he quickly cut you off. "Look around, there's no one here. You don't have to be paranoid, y/n." He started eating his ice cream, clearly not bothered at all. You, however, were still scared.

"I just don't want to bring you boys trouble, I've done enough already."

His shoulders slugged and you could tell that you were sucking the joy out of his pep. You hated to be the person to do that, you did. 

 A few pauses later, Jimin put his spoon down and reached across the table for yours. He scooped up some ice cream and put it in front of your mouth. "Open up," he said.

 You looked around, aware that the worker at the register was carefully watching the both of you. She was sitting, seeing what was about to happen next and Jimin saw this. "I dont care if they see," he said. “We're friends. Am I not allowed to hang out with you?"

Not wanting to argue back, you simply complied, opening your mouth as asked. You ate the scoop and looked at him. "Happy?"

He smiled. "It's good right? Now eat up, don't worry too much." He went back to his own bowl and began to make small talk.

 You started to remember what it was like the first time Jimin and you actually had your first real conversation. You realized it was just easy to talk to him about things. He was real but non-judgmental with you. He just wants the best for everyone and you found that to be so nice of him. He truly had a way with making you feel better about every situation and making you forget about things in the time being.

After a little while, you and Jimin walked back to your place, stopping in front of the main entrance. You saw your mom in the lobby, waiting for the elevator, making you turn to Jimin. "It looks like my parents are home," you spoke. "Guess that's your cue to go too."

 Jimin looked through the lobby, his eyes slightly widening. "That's your mom?" he questioned. You nodded your head. "She's beautiful! I see where you get your looks from."

 You playfully rolled your eyes as you laughed, placing your hand on his chest to slightly shove him. "Please, Jimin." You noted that this was his second time complementing your looks that night and not going to lie, you were flattered.

 He laughed too. "Alright give me a hug," he said, pulling you in before you even got the chance. You hugged him back tightly, grateful for him taking your mind off things for a while.

 "I'll see you later," you spoke, looking up at him. He looked down and shook his head in agreement before you both let go and he took off.

~~

You and Jimin had been hanging out a little less than usual due to him and the boys having multiple dance practices, meaning he would not only rarely show up to school but you rarley even talked or texted with him. Of course he tried to keep up with you when he could which was better than nothing, you guess. You just kind of missed him.

"Psstt," you heard from behind you. 

You turned around to find Kayla, another internatial student like yourself. "Hey," you said, smiling at her. "What's up?"

"I'm freaking out," she replied. "I didn't do my homework last night, I was too busy. Before class starts, can I pleasssee copy yours?"

 You shook your head, not minding as you grabbed your homework from your backpack and handed it to her. "You're a life saver!" she exhaled. She quickly copied your homework and within about two minutes, it was back in your hand. "Thank you so much!"

"No problem," you replied, ready to turn back around before she cut you off.

"Wait," she said. "Is it true, about you and Taehyung?"

 You sighed, not aware that that was still a thing. "People are still on that?" you asked, semi annoyed. It had almost been two weeks, you thought it was behind you.

She scoffed. "Of course they are girl, you snatched up two of the most wanted guys in this school.” She paused, thinking. “ Well, besides Jungkook and Jaehyun."

 You were confused, what did she mean? "Two?"

"Jimin and Taehyung," she responded in a ‘Duh’ tone.

 You stared at her for a quick second. "Well to answer your question, no. How bout' you spread that around the next time you decide to gossip?" you snapped. You don't know what it was but you were over it. This rumor ruined your friendship with Taehyung and you were sick of it following you around.

"Jesus, well excuse me," she said, putting her hands up in surrender. "It's not like it was me that started it."

"Well you're sure as hell not helping, no?"

"Attitude much?"

 You sighed. She was right. Normally, Kayla was really nice to you so although she was being annoying at the moment, you still couldn't help but feel bad for the way you spoke to her. "I'm sorry," you apologized. "I've just been really stressed."

Her face softened. "Yeah, you look it," she joked, a small grin appearing on her face. "Hey, if you're not busy after school, me and Heejin are gonna go grab some boba if you want to join us?"

 You thought it over. Having some girl company didn't sound too bad, it actually sounded like just the perfect plan to you at the time. It wasn't anything significant but given the fact that you only was hanging out with guys for most part, this seemed overdue.

"That actually sounds really nice right about now."

She shook her head. "Okay then, we'll just be waiting for you at the bus stop after school."

Just then, your math teacher walked in and you all started our work.

~

After a long day of 7 classes, you and the girls did end up hanging out. Kayla ordered matcha boba, Heejin ordered strawberry and you ordered coconut. The three of you got a table and sat down, discussing random things such as school and who they liked.

 “Taeyong is definitely the most handsome boy in our school,” Kayla stated.

 “Really?” you chimed in. “He is super attractive but he’s too mysterious.”

 Kayla threw her head back in admiration. “That’s what makes him hot, y/n!” she cried, making you giggle.

"Well, I hands down like Jungkook," Heejin said. "No doubt about it, he is my ultimate crush." She was swooning over him and got dramatically emotional at just the thought of him. "Ugh! My heart is beating so fast even thinking about him, I think I'm going to die!" she then plopped her head on the table as you and Kayla laughed at her silliness. "It's depressing," she said said in a muffled voice, her face still on the cold surface.

"You'll survive," you responded.

She lifted her head back up, looking at you curiously. "Wait, aren't you friends with Jungkook?"

 You scoffed, looking around to make sure no one at the surrounding booths heard that. "No," you responded. "I hardly know him."

"Oh, I just assumed because you and Taeh--"

 Heejin was interrupted by Kayla shoving her quickly as a means to get her to stop talking. Kayla cleared her throat. "So, y/n," she started, changing the subject. "Heejin and I were thinking about starting this club--a dance club and we were wondering if you would be willing to join?"

 Heejin gave her a look, scrunching her eyebrows together, as did you, wondering where this was coming from. "Me?" you asked. "Why me of all people?"

"Because," Kayla started. "I see how you are in class, you're a team player. I already know you would do well on our team. Plus, you just look like you can dance," she chuckled.

 Her explanation wasn't good enough and you were still confused. Heejin still looked confused too but she seemed to not want to bud into it.

"What do you say?"

You started to stutter. "I-I-I.... I, um... I'm not sure," you said. "Dancing isn't really my thing..." She suddenly started to look disappointed, which made you feel a little bad. "But I'll let you know," you added, wanting to give her a glimpse of hope.

She smiled again, shaking her head. A few minutes later, you then dismissed yourself and said your goodbyes before you headed out the cafe door to go home.

A/N: Surprise! Heejin is in this. She’ll be around a little more often now hehe okay stay tuned to see what happens next! <33

PART 8