#and i understand why she'd be worried. like knowing myself and how i let myself suffer by myself hiding it from her

[sinnettini]

successfully worried my mum as well despite trying not to. lmao. lmfao even

[bonny-kookoo]

so how did someone older jk and oc celebrate new years? A midnight kiss?? :)))

Warning for suggestive stuff? It's not quite new years celebration but I honestly started to drift off way too much for a drabble haha

"Oh no!" You gasp out, earning Jungkook's immediate attention as he looks towards where you're standing in his kitchen.

"What's wrong?" He asks, while you hide your face behind your hands. "Darling?" He questions, as he gets up to walk towards you, a letter opened on the counter.

"Oh god I'm so sorry-" you tell him, visibly shaken. "I'm really sorry, I don't know why I- I think I thought I was home and opened it-" you rambles, hands shaking. "I didn't even read it, I swear, it was just-"

"Darling, hey, look at me." He tells you, turning you away from the scene of the crime to instead fully face him, hands on your shoulders. "You're fine." He states, makes sure to emphasize, as you go through the same steps you both go through every time things like these happen.

Breathe. This is Jungkook. Nothing is going to happen.

"There we go." He chuckles, squeezing your shoulders for a split second before he lets go. "What is it about?" He wonders easily, taking the letter to read it.

"I.. I don't know." You mumble, still ashamed. "I just.. read the first line and realized that it's not addressed to me- I really don't know why I even opened it-" You again state in defense, but his hand reaches out to pull you closer holding you gently by your waist.

"Its about that new year's celebration. I told them I wouldn't go this year.." he simply sighs, before he throws the letter and envelope away. "And it's understandable. You've been spending quite a lot of time here recently- I'll take it as a compliment that you feel like this is home." He jokes easily, hands on your hips as he grins at you.

"Why- if there's an event you're invited to you should go though?" You ask, but he shakes his head.

"I want to spend it with you." He answers. "Except if you'd like to go with me to that event?" He asks, moving your hair out of your face.

"I.. uhm.. would that even be.. appropriate?" You ask quietly. "Given.. you know. The age difference and all.." you worry, but he shakes his head.

"Its not an issue to me at all, if that's what worries you." He shrugs. "We're both adults. And trust me- our age difference wouldn't be the biggest. One of the investors has a wife almost twenty-five years younger!" He laughs. "Or does it bother you?"

"No, not.. anymore." You admit. "It used to. It felt.. a little intimidating. Sometimes it still does but not as much." You explain.

"I'm glad then." He hums towards you. "So?" He questions. "If you'd like to go, we can. I usually don't like events like these, but if you're there I'd go in a heartbeat." He flirts without realizing it.

"I don't even have.. proper attire. I bet those things are super fancy.." you worry, but he just grins.

"I mean, we still got time. I could call up someone, his wife owns a clothing label, we could go and get something fit for you." He shrugs easily.

"Jungkook, no way!" You gasp. "That.. already sounds way too expensive." You worry.

"Not really. I can just tell her to not mention any cost and you'd never know." He impishly grins, as your back rests against the kitchen counter. "Though.. I'd honestly rather take your.. measurements myself." He purrs, leaning in for a teasing peck.

"I'm just.. that's not.." you stammer, easily overpowered by his recently growing confidence in his pursuit of you. Its clear that he's starting to become comfortable with you to the point of feeling confident in his actions, even in how he reassures you whenever you tend to fall back into old fears.

"Oh but it is. I know exactly what she'd need for a pretty dress." He hums. "And while I already think I know your body like my own.."

"I think I need to make sure I got the measurements correct."

[thurio-edau]

"It was her," Aiden yelled out, trying to get them to understand him. He couldn't get that bloody image of Ashlyn out of his mind. "I swear I saw her this time!"

"Cut it out! This is the fifth time you thought something you've seen is Ashlyn!" And of course Tyler didn't understand him. He never understood.

Aiden was getting mad. He lost control of his emotions without the smiling mask he always wore. "Are you calling me insane!? I know what I saw! I'm not delusional like your m--"

His eyes widened as he realized what he said, already too late. These were his friends, his found family, looking at him as if he was a monster.

"...I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

Tyler didn't accept the apology though. He pulled Taylor from the arm and left, he couldn't stand Aiden especially lately. It was his fault. He always messed stuff up. He messed it up again.

"Damn it!" Ashlyn yelled to herself in her mind, waking up in the boring facility room yet again. She was so close to getting there... But she failed.

All she could do was talk inside her mind. Not even out loud, she couldn't let Alex and whoever else was there suspect anything. Now she needed an excuse to have a first aid kit in her room. She wasn't sure if she could walk outside and search for anything in the phantom dimension from how heavily injured she was. Yeah, she had Alex's card thanks to a trick she did, but she didn't have anything in real life except this room.

The walls were plain white. Lifeless and tired, just like her. She missed the braids her mom did each morning. She missed her father's awful jokes. She missed the graveyard, she missed her friends.

She missed that one smile.

The pain in her back and arms were obvious to her. Phantom claws were sharp for sure, she bled terribly in the phantom dimension. And Ashlyn woke up in the facility room yet again... All the distance she went was trashed.

They told her it was a fungus. That her parents knew she was here. That her friends knew she was here. That they were okay with it. They were okay with it. They were okay with her being kept away. They were okay with not getting to see her. They were okay with it.

Tch. Such bullshit. She didn't believe it, at all. It ate away at her, she didn't know how Tyler was right now. How Aiden was right now. A tree and a ceiling. Maybe they were fine. Tyler was alright. Aiden woke up okay. She still felt the way she clung to him once they woke up.

She had to get back. It was so close, why not get closer? One hour was the preparation... If she prepared the night before, she'd have six hours on the road. Right. She could do this. She was Ashlyn Banner, of course she could do it... Well, she needed to take care of her scars first because she could pass out. Every single night was important now, she was practically only alive for 7 hours in the phantom dimension. She felt dead in real life, 24 hours of doing nothing.

"I need to hurt myself somehow... So that I can have some kind of bandaging." Ashlyn thought.

But how? She didn't have a knife to injure herself with. And no way they'd just bring her one upon request. And trying anything drastic was too risky. Injuring her foot or legs were risky too... She needed that to get to her friends. But she definitely needed the bandaging, because her scars were too intense from the phantom claws.

Putting together a plan wasn't as hard as she thought.

im okay guys dont worry i wrote this out of free will yes sorry it sucks it was the free will

its just buildup rn honestly i literally didnt expect to make this an actual fic but here we go i guess

smoke signals part 2 . part 1 here

[xetlynn]

Twilight- Switch Of Daylight: Chapter Twelve, Forgive

(Alice x Reader x Jasper)

[Eleven] [Twelve] [Thirteen]

(I’m remodeling my chapters. Not story wise just the look of everything)

"Werewolves are not vicious." Bella tells Alice as she's making herself hot chocolate. Alice is pacing in the room as I sit at the table.

I stare at the ground. Alice and I still haven't truly acknowledged each other. "Until they lose their tempers." She argues.

"They saved me from Laurent with [Name]. They're protecting us from Victoria." My sister informs her, the vampire seems shocked. "Victoria? I didn't see her? I didn't see you get pulled from the water either by [Name]." Alice says my name hesitantly, carefully side glancing as me when it leaves her mouth.

"She saved me, Jacob was there seconds after. I wouldn't have made it without him. You have no idea what it was like." Bella frowns.

"Yes. I do. I knew leaving wouldn't be good for you. I tried to tell Edward, but he wouldn't listen." She responds, my chest tenses up. She knew.

She knew about Bella that means she knew about me. My skin begins to tingle as anger grows inside of me.

Thoughts racing, practically bouncing off the walls in my head. "Does he know you're here?" I hear my sister ask but it's muffled. Everything's muffled. I begin to take breaths as if I need it.

"No. He's been... away..."

I stand up angrily, forcing myself from the scene. Accidentally slamming the chair back, breaking it. I don't care enough to apologize as I just leave the house. My body shakes from the anger I'm feeling. My skin feels like it's on fire.

I remember how anger triggers this feeling, attempting to calm myself it cools down but definitely still there. I hold myself, confused on what to do so I sit on the ground. Thinking everything over.

Hours pass I didn't even realize it, a door opens behind me and I figure it's just Alice going to her car to leave or something so I stay quiet. "Can we talk?" She sits across from me, I didn't even realize she got in front of me. I suck in a deep breath. Let's get this over with I guess.

I glance up at her, my head still facing down. "Go ahead." I say.

"I got your calls." She whispers, a pang hits my heart. She got them and never responded. She admitted to it. How... why? I stay quiet. "I... couldn't answer." She continues. Now I'm looking at her. "You hurt me, [Name]." She tells me, this is where I roll my eyes in response.

"[Name] please, you admitted to not trusting my family, to not trusting Jasper and I!" She slightly raises her voice to which I shake my head, putting a finger up to stop her.

"Alice, stop talking." I warn her. I feel my body start to hurt, it felt like the muscle sores I got after having a panic attack as a human. "I just need you to understand I was upset with you. I didn't-" I cut her off but standing up.

"Alice, enough." I attempt to warn her again. She follows suit, stepping closer to me. I didn't move an inch. As much as I wanted Alice and Jasper back this... this is not how I wanted it to be. "[Name], I'm sorry..."

It falls silent around us, she takes it as a sign to step closer. I don't move but I do flinch. Not out of fear that she'd hurt me but realization that I need to back away.

I need this conversation to end before I blow up and say things I don't mean. "Will you forgive me?" She asks me, my eyes glance at her then away from her.

"Alice stop this conversation please." Instead, she touches my arm which shocks it. Her eyebrows furrowed and I hiss in pain. The warmth now covering over it. "Are you okay? That's never happened before." Her face is full of worry and confusion and I hold my arm but my feet haven't moved from its placement.

"Alice!" I abruptly shout, she jumps from surprise. Obviously not expecting me to raise my voice like this.

"I need you to leave me alone! You did it for months, start doing it again!" I glare at her, finally backing away from her.

"Do you not understand what you did to me? I begged you guys to understand that I couldn't leave. Something you I guess didn't even want to do. As you said to Bella. My sister. And treated me like shit because of it. Then knowing I was going to find out about the prophecy b.s, you guys never once checked up on me. I called hundreds of times. Scared out of my mind because I was told that I could change into some monster! Something that even you would try to kill. So yeah, I'm angry with you. And no I don't think I'm forgiving you any time soon." I yell in her face, she doesn't move away from me. Taking it all as I scream in anger.

Then the pain I felt before gets a little worse. Dragging me down a little bit. I take a breath, something that's been needed more frequently. "And tell Jasper he's just as bad." I spat, before collecting myself and going back into my house to leave Alice with what I said.

I see Bella on the top of the stairs but I ignore it, heading straight to my room. Falling down on my bed, barely missing it as the pain really sets in as the adrenaline leaves my body. I begin to start shivering.

Now cold...

I lazily drag the covers over my body as I feel myself get weaker. What's happening to me?

I know what's happening I just am fighting it. I'm in denial. It can't happen.

I close my eyes, I didn't fall asleep. I just laid there thinking everything over.

I didn't leave my room, or my bed. I heard my door open to different people each time checking in on me. My dad doing it the most. I told him I didn't feel good and he just understood. I apologized to him about Harry to which there was just a sad silence.

I heard him apologize to Bella about her not being able to come since they wanted the service small. Then him leaving and Alice questioning her about it.

Moments pass and I hear Jacob outside. "Huh. Didn't see him with you guys at the water. Maybe my visions allergic to dogs." Alice mercilessly says. It hurts me as I'm probably going to turn partly into one. "Alice..." Bella sighs out. "I'll do some hunting." She says, leaving the house.

It's not only Jacob that's approaching the house, it's Embry and Quil too. "Quil... you too?" Bella asks.

"Yeah. Me, too." Quil aggressively responds. I hear Jake get out of the vehicle they were in. "You alone?"

"Yes, well [Name]'s in her room. She hasn't left it since Alice got here." Bella informs him. "Shouldn't you be at the funeral?" She changes the subject.

"Had to talk to you first." He then tells the guys to go on and he'll meet them there.

The vehicle drives away. They enter the house, now it's a lot better to hear them. "Look, Jake. I'm sorry I-"

"This place stinks to hell, even more than when it's just [Name]." You could tell he was joking more about me, I roll my eyes.

"You're welcome to leave. In fact-" "How many Cullens are here and how long are they staying?" He cuts her off with the question. "Just Alice. And she'll stay as long as she wants." She snaps back. If I wasn't so angry with Alice I'd back her up but I want nothing more than for her to leave. Her voice to leave my mind. "Are the rest coming back?"

"Not that I'm aware of. Anything else?" Bella's getting irritated. "That's it."

"Better go report to Sam." Bella tells him, I can feel his emotions for some reason but then he goes from annoyed to beat. Disappointed with himself. "I've done it again. I keep breaking my promise not to hurt you." He says to her. "It doesn't have to be this way." My sister pleads.

"Yeah it does."

"Am I gonna lose you this time, Jacob?" She questions. "It was easier when we were human, wasn't it?" Then it grows quiet. I want to know what's happening but at the same time I can hear their heartbeats enough to know I'm better off where I am. The phone rings, and their heart beats begin to go back to normal. Sort of.

"swan residence." Jacob answered the phone. I hear a familiar voice. "He's not here. He's at a funeral."

Jacob's voice goes cold and I immediately know who it was. Jacob hangs up the phone.

"Filthy bloodsucker." He mutters.

"Wait, who was it?" Bella asks, I squeeze my eyes shut. "Dr. Carlisle Cullen." He lies.

"You should have let me talk to him." She says. "He didn't ask for you."

"Step away from me Bella."

I guess this is where I should come in as well. I take a breath, standing up from the bed. Taking the energy from the house to build up my own. The pain slowly went away last night but I can still feel it in my chest. "Alice, what's wrong?" She turns to the vampire.

"Edward.."

"what about him? What happened?" Bella panics. "I just saw him in a vision. He thinks you're dead." Worry covers my- Alice's face. "That was him calling, not Carlisle." Bella realizes. "Bella, he's going to Italy... tot he Volturi." Alice announces.

No moments pass where Bella is packing her clothes. Now just Alice and I in the room. We hear Bella and Jacob upstairs as he pleads with her not to go. "Your transformation... it's starting?" She asks me, I look up at her and shrug.

"You care now? Or do I have to have Bella jump off a cliff again for that?" I stare at her, emotionless. I walk up the stairs. "Alice has the tickets. Let's go." I tell Bella. "Those Cullens might hunt animals but those monsters in Italy don't." Jacob squares up with me.

"We're well aware of what the Volturi are." Alice joins us. "Then why are you taking Bella to them like a bottle of wine to a party." He quizzes. "Right, she's better off here with Victoria stalking her. The one you dogs can't seem to catch?"

Jacob growls, a shudder going through him. Bella steps in front of us, stopping him from morphing. "Let's go." Bella takes us, leading outsides.

Alice and I get in the car, I sit in the back on purpose even though Bella was going to. Jacob catches her arm before she can enter though. "please, Bella. Stay here. For Charlie... for me." He begs with her, she hugs him in response.

"Bye, Jacob." She climbs in the Mercedes. I notice the visible agony he has. Bella goes to pull her seat belt on but then Alice stops her. "Maybe Jacob's right." My sister tries to cut her off.

"No, you need to realize the Volturi could easily see me as Edward's accomplice. And you're a human who knows too much and tastes too good. They could kill us all." All Bella responds with is clipping her seatbelt in. Alice sees she won't change her mind so she shifts the gear and drives.

The drive to the airport, I repeatedly catch Alice staring at me. Only to get a straight face in return. Even the flight grew awkward.

Alice and I steal a yellow Porsche with dark tinted windows as we both can't be seen in the sunlight. She wears a hooded coat as I wear a cowboy hat and long sleeves. "Where'd you get the car?" Bella questions as she gets in the car with us. "Hope you're not opposed to grand theft auto." Alice says. "Not today."

Then she floors it as Bella is in it.

The car flies down the highway.

This is a little short but it’s because the last chapter is about to be very long. Might be out to tomorrow. I’m working on it tonight but I know for a fact I’m gonna pass out before I finish it lol.

Masterlist

A&J M.L.

Taglist: if you want to be added lmk!

@stevenandmarcslove

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs

@kisekihany

@aureliacorvina

@l3ejm

@marit332

@marsyay78

@sugathy

[7waystreet]

dirty confessions | kim taehyung

This BTS 18+ explicit series will include 7 diary entries (one from each of the bangtan boys) confessing to the dirty thoughts they have about (y/n) and the sinful sexual acts they've part taken in during their lives.

I kindly ask the reader to start with pt.1 and end with pt.7 since it's a series and will contain overlapping scenarios and characters ♡

✬ foreword pt. 1 — seokjin pt. 2 — yoongi pt. 3 — namjoon pt. 4 — hoseok pt. 5 — jimin pt. 6 — taehyung pt. 7 — jungkook

pt. 6 — taehyung

Hi diary,

I have a confession to make. Not only did I indulge in that mind blowing threesome with Jimin and his chick, but I also secretly fucked Jungkook's gf (y/n) in the butt.

It's not just lust when it comes to (y/n)... she's been my best friend for years and I've been in love with her for as long as I can remember, much before the time she began dating Jungkook. I'd never confessed my feelings to her out of the fear of losing her, and looking back, I'm thankful I never did bcuz she ended up falling for Jungkookie anyways. It took me months to finally accept I'd never have her, my heart breaking every single time I saw them together happily in love, until I forced myself to get over it.

Her happiness means the world to me.

But everything changed when (y/n) approached me with a dark cloud looming above her head during our group roller skating meetup last weekend, appearing very much unlike her usual fun self... everything changed forever.

Hobi hyung and I struggle the most while roller skating, the fear of death flashing right before my eyes when I tumbled and got ready to fall smack onto the floor. But I suddenly felt two soft arms curl around my waist and hold me up straight from slipping, her fresh sweet scent seeping into my senses confirming my best friend (y/n) had indeed saved my ass. A heat flared through my chest knowing she was so close to me and enveloping my back in her warmth, my broken heart desperately pleading she'd never let go... but just like that, she inched out of the embrace and helped turn me around, a smile perking up my lips when my eyes met her beautiful ones.

But that happiness quickly faded away after I noticed the somber look on her dulled out face.

"What's wrong?" I asked her with a deepening concern, my fear of being on skates instantly disappearing as all of my attention went straight to her, trying to understand the reason behind her sadness.

"It's Kook."

My heart dropped hearing the depressing tone in her voice bcuz I knew how much he meant to her, her joyless demeanor indicating something was seriously wrong. I asked her what'd happened but it made me feel guilty as her eyes started to flood with tears. So I suggested if she just wanted to hangout after roller skating and talk about it, to which she agreed with a nod, then slowly drifting away towards Jungkookie while he was too busy playing with others.

"I think Kook's cheating on me. He just seems so distracted lately and he barely wants to have sex... I can't help but think he's with someone else. Sorry Tae. I know this is all TMI, but I couldn't share this stuff with anyone else but you."

As much as my sore heart wanted her to shut the fuck up about her sex life with Jeon Jungkook, I knew I had to put aside my hurt feelings and be there for my best friend. I assured her the young one was probably just stressed out bcuz of the upcoming concert prep as he always wants to give his 110% for ARMY, and that's probably why he seemed distant. There was no real proof that could confirm he was cheating on her, and I didn't want to feed her anxiety any more than what the poor girl was already experiencing. I wanted her to feel better.

My tummy madly flipped around when she suddenly flung her body onto mine, making me sink back into the couch's cushion with her weight on top of me, her small face buried in my chest while I could hear her silent sobs and shudders of worry. Nothing else mattered in that moment, my arms engulfing her in a big bear hug at once and holding her tight, her makeup staining my hoodie in the prettiest way possible.

I assured (y/n) that nobody could hurt her as long as I was standing by her side, which would be for the rest of our lives. My gut wrenched when she pulled away and looked up at me with glistening eyes, sniffling her snot heavy before a smile cracked through her gorgeous lips, my own mouth reflecting a grin when she sighed out in ease after a long time of crying.

"Why do you even put up with all my bullshit?" she awkwardly chuckled, cutely wiping her tears away with the back of her palm, but she froze in place when I blurted out "That's what you do for the girl you love."

The next couple of mins are burned into my memory forever for the way they made me feel a roller coaster of emotions... mostly an overwhelming amount of regret though. (y/n) gazed into my eyes while both her hands were still on my chest, her swollen face then leaning up to mine and pressing our lips together in a soft, sizzling kiss. The way our breaths naturally synced and fastened up made us both pause with our eyes closed shut to comprehend what'd just happened, our noses slightly touching as we remained inches away from each others faces. We'd just willingly shared our first kiss together.

I wasn't sure how we'd ended up doing this now after years of being the closest of friends... everything almost feeling like a dream, but to my pleasure it wasn't. (y/n) was mine in that moment, and I was willing to do anything to make her feel happy. I did respectfully ask to check if this is really what she wanted and she confirmed she did... if (y/n) felt peace in my arms, then I was gonna give her just that.

The best part was none of this shit felt weird, not even when we'd both made our way into the safety of my bedroom, probably bcuz (y/n) and I've slept in the same bed plenty of times before, just never in a sexual way like tonight. We'd already gotten into a hot makeout within seconds, our lips struggling to stay detached while I lightly sucked on her tongue, our hands slowly exploring one another's bodies to get used to touching each other in this unashamed way. It's crazy how many emotions I'd repressed all these years, passionate emotions I felt for her that were bursting out of me when my body got on top of hers and saw her crumble underneath my touch.

Her lips quivered when my palm wrapped around her neck and added a slight pressure, her face lighting up with excitement by seeing this hidden dominant side of me in such a way, my lips grazing her shivering ones as I leaned down and asked her "Is there something you wanted to try in bed... something he didn't do that I could help you with?"

My blood set on fire when she choked out "Anal" the more I added pressure on her throat with my palm, my lips immediately crashing into hers after hearing that word, my whole being now kissing her with a raging thrill, her moans mingling with mine while we began to really get into the mood.

The key to making any girl comfortable for anal is foreplay, and although (y/n) suggested drinking alcohol to loosen ourselves up, I refused the offer as I wanted to be in my senses and live in the present without being under any kind of influence. We naturally eased into a rhythm in no time though, our bodies wildly grinding against one another to up our desires even more, my throbbing cock rubbing onto her clit through our clothes enough to make her want to tear my clothes off right then and there.

I'll never forget the shocked looked on (y/n)'s face when she looked down at my big boner pop out after she'd pulled off my sweatpants, her throat visibly taking in a big gulp at the thought of my dick entering her tight lil ass. But the worry on her face faded away the second my mouth touched her clit, the way I was going down on her melting her into sweet pudding, although her pussy tasted way better than that. (y/n)'s moans and yelps were getting me off, my eyes focused up on her face while my tongue circled her clit and sucked on it with the perfect titillating pressure, my mouth then teasing her folds and slurping up her juices already flooding out while I rubbed her clit with my thumb to keep arousing her and loosening her muscles.

It was the most intimate night of my life, the trust we both feel in each other as best friends allowing us to let go and perform such a sensitive act without worry. Just seeing her arch her back and get on all fours for me made me harden up even more, the sexy view of her fine ass right in front of me making my stomach drop while I poured a ton of lube on my cock and rubbed a little on her hole, her knees instantly shuddering at my touch. Leaning down towards her face, I kissed (y/n) and told her to communicate with me if anything hurt or felt uncomfortable and she eagerly kissed me back and smiled to finally give me the go.

Holy shit was it magical... the level of tightness in her ass something I'd never experienced before, the tip of my cock gradually inching in while I observed her moves, (y/n) whimpering and clutching the sheets in fists to get through the initial pain. I wanted to do everything possible to ease her into it so I guided my girl through the entirety of the sex, encouraging her to simultaneously touch herself the way she liked it while I stretched her butt out. My dick was fully nestled inside her hole by now, (y/n)'s fingers rubbing her clit in circles to the dirty talk I was now feeding her, praising her for how hot she was making me feel, how she was going to make me cum so hard, and how I wanted to keep fucking her all night long until she couldn't stand up or walk.

All of my fantasies were playing out one by one as I talked nasty to her and told (y/n) just how bad I wanted to ruin her, her chest shuddering while she kept touching herself and I picked up the pace of fucking her anally, my cock on cloud 9 feeling the friction of her ass against my bare skin, the need to cum approaching soon while (y/n)'s screams indicated she was nearing her end too.

My huge load of cum dripped right out of her asshole like a cream donut after I came straight into her with a breathless sigh, (y/n)'s legs clenching and her chest collapsing after she'd cum herself from the heightened combination of things. The sight was too beautiful to take in. Her legs gave out and she fell flat on the bed, her face in the mattress and body shaking as she tried to gain her severed breath, my body laying down next to her and rubbing her back to soothe her as I tried to calm down from my high myself.

(y/n) finally turned around and smiled at me, the both of us acknowledging the fact that nothing would change between us despite sharing this unforgettable experience together. Everything felt perfect.

a/n ♡

i imagined a "friends to lovers" plot for tae as it'd suit him the best over the others, knowing he's a social butterfly with many friends irl. altho this storyline has similarities to hoseok's, the motive behind the sex in both plots is diff; tae's not wishing revenge or lust like hobi. tae simply loves (y/n) but it blinds his judgement of betraying jungkook. tae is known to acting on whim irl and just doing what his heart freely desires, so the unplanned act with (y/n) doesn't come as a shocker.

— social butterfly: tae's able to establish a rapport with jimin's gf just like he is with jungkook's gf without having his own gf. he naturally possesses the quality to bond with various people, which is shown by the way he's able to hookup with both girls without any awkwardness

— eccentric persona: anal isn't the most common sexual act but it doesn't scare him when (y/n) suggests it. he's accepting of trying new things especially with his best friend, a reflection of tae's "free spirit" personality and lifestyle irl

— care giver: instead of drinking alcohol as a short cut to loosening up, he makes (y/n) feel comfortable by going down on her, easing her into things bcuz acts of service is a big part of his love language irl

[romanoffsbish]

Meet the Fockers Bishop-Belova’s

Natasha Romanoff x (Dr.Doolittle)F!R

Bishova 🥰

Liho to the Rescue (Part 1)

Natasha has a mission, entrusting you and Liho with Yelena, Kate, and their dogs that couldn’t be more different, and you (un)fortunately get to spend a week getting to know all of them intimately.

"Lucky Bishop, you are embarrassing us in front of the guest, sit still."

"But Fanny! Look! No matter how fast I go, my tail never gets closer, it's crazy isn't it?!"

"They're so uncultured, this is why cats are the better option. Imagine being a dog person."

To the women before you exchanging familiar friendly greetings it is a normal occurrence, the dogs barking while the cat lazily meows atop of Natasha's shoulder. To you though, it's an interesting engagement that you almost feel bad for intruding on, but not enough to not laugh out loud, instantly drawing the attention of all the humans, and animals before you.

——

"Oh, let me introduce you all to my girlfriend," Natasha beams, gently tugging you forward and right into her side for a comforting hug, "This is Y/N." Yelena immediately gasps and steps forward, "The animal whisperer right?"

"Yes she is, I can no longer have my thoughts to myself," Liho groans, and you lean forward to glare at the feline, and he tilts his head back in challenge, "Yes, that's me, and if you're curious I offer interrogation services, it's how I found out that Liho ate Nat's hoop earrings."

"You promised!" Liho shimmies onto Nat's other shoulder and swats at you, "Yeah, and you just dissed me, served you right, jerk!"

"This is so cool! Tell me, what's Fanny thinking right now?" Yelena jumps in place, clapping her hands together in obvious excitement.

"Well, I don't invade their thoughts, so why don't you ask her, and I'll respond for her."

"Fanny, my truest love, what's on your mind?"

Your girlfriend and you bite back a laugh when seeing Kate's face scrunch up in offense as her aloof girlfriend drops to her knees and cups her pooches face, "Tell my new friend baby."

"Well, for starters, I wish for Lucky to stop breathing down my neck, it is bothersome," she barked curtly, "Then, I would like to go to the barn and chase the chickens to decompress."

"She's very, um, well," you paused, looking to your lover for help she simply couldn't offer you, "She'd like some personal space, and she wishes to chase the chickens to get it."

"Mention Lucky, she's too clingy!" she barked shortly in your direction, and you smiled sympathetically at the whimpering retriever, "She'd also like for me to mention that dear, sweet Lucky's a bit too clingy at times."

"Kate Bishop! I told you that Lucky was crowding her, didn't I?" she scolded, then gasped, "Oh my god, I'm a dog whisperer too!"

"Go ahead, chase the chickens moya lyubov'," she pecked the pooches wet nose, then rose back up to face all of your stunned faces, "What? You expected me to say no to her?"

Natasha turned to you with an apologetic smile, "I'm so sorry detka," she nuzzled her nose with yours and softly pressed her lips to yours, "I'll only be be gone for a week."

"Don't worry Natasha! She will be fine!" Yelena boasted, then your girlfriend shook her head as you were torn from her, "Now, we have fun!!"

Natasha blew your shocked form a kiss from the car, then she sent up a prayer to whatever higher power listening that you don't breakup with her at the end of this sure to be long week.

—

"How's it going moya lyubov'?" Natasha asked through the phone, and you shot her a smile, but it didn't reach your eyes, "I miss you Nat. It's so cold without you to snuggle up to."

"Aww baby," she cooed as she lifted the phone closer to her face, as if that equated to comfort, and in a way it did as you giggled softly at the sight of her nostrils, "You can cuddle Liho."

"No, she can't!"

You rolled your eyes, and Natasha smirked in understanding as she heard the cat plop onto the ground after you gently nudged it with your foot, "Can't you two just get along, for once?"

"We once did, then she betrayed me, and never gave me my can of tuna after doing so!"

"Blame Natasha! I tried to, but she said no tuna for naughty cats, and you just keep acting up!"

"He broke my limited edition nunchucks!" Natasha shouted, reaffirming your stance, and it seemed to soften the black cat a smidge.

"Hmph," Liho meowed angrily while plopping onto your chest, giving Natasha a view of his butt instead of you, "I want my damn tuna."

Natasha gasped, "Did he just swear?"

"Uh, I'm not even going to ask how you know."

"Easy, when you bicker he meows like that."

You chuckled softly, "Goodnight Natty, be safe please," you smiled at your awkwardly tilted phone before blowing her a kiss that she caught, "Always am, I can't leave you two behind, you'll likely kill each other if I did."

After you set your phone down on the bedside table you whispered softly, "I love you Nat."

"Why don't you say it to her instead of the air?"

"Because, I don't think she's there yet Liho, and the last thing I want is to scare her away."

"You're being dumb then, she's totally in love."

"Be nice, or you can sleep with the dogs."

Liho's defiance instantly faded, he nuzzled into your chest, and began to purr so loudly you couldn't hear your insecure thoughts, making your trip into the realm of unconscious fast.

Natasha stared down at her phone with a sad smile, she'd accidentally pressed mute over end, and in turn she heard your confession.

It felt wrong, she knew she didn't mean to do it, but she has yet to hang up so she also didn't do the right thing. At this point you were snoring, an adorable sound she's grown used to. Honestly, it brought her comfort, and that was good because she was in a state of shock.

Natasha knew she loved you, it wasn't hard for her to breakdown the emotion, but she's never been on the receiving end of such a feeling. Romance hadn't even interested her until she first saw you, it was like everything she ever knew went right out the door the second your sweet voice broke through her steel walls.

With how easily she fell though, it was as if her walls were only made of paper for you. You cracked the code, and your reward was her battered heart, and you accepted it wholly. That much apparent now that you'd confessed in presumed secret that you loved her too.

Natasha whispered softly with a smile, "I love you too," before the line finally went dead.

"I knew it," Liho meowed tiredly atop of you, but fortunately you were too gone to hear.

—

The following morning you awoke when the sun peaked through the blinds, making Liho purr in thanks for the newfound warmth. It was a moment of total bliss, then the sounds of dogs excitedly barking led to you wincing once sharp claws penetrated through your thick sleep shirt and then the skin of your breasts.

"Stupid canines, do they not know how to keep their volume at a maximum of total silence?"

"Jesus, Liho are you sure you're three? You act like an elderly man with kids on his lawn."

"I do not get your inference, but I will say kids are annoying too, so I understand the man."

With a gentle touch you removed the cat from your chest, then you entered the bathroom to get your morning hygiene done, and while doing so you saw Natasha had texted you.

*Good morning krasivaya, I miss you, and I'm counting down the days until you're back in my arms. Have fun (if you can—again, I'm sorry), I will try to call you later, but I might end up being forced to go no contact.*

You frowned, but you understood that she had a job to do, but it wasn't long before you were smiling as she'd also sent you some photos. There was a selfie of her smiling, then you got to see the reason for her excitement as the next photo was of her with a stray calico kitten that you have an inkling you'll be meeting soon.

There was a final photo, and you audibly awed at the shot of you two on the couch, you were giggling and Natasha was holding onto you tightly from behind, with a par-visible grin as she pressed her face into your neck.

*Don't forget about me as you snuggle Liho*

—

When you finally ventured out of your room you made your way to the kitchen to find Kate alone while studying for some math course.

"You wouldn't happen to know how to find the x would you?" The raven haired girl asked you tiredly, and you chuckled softly, "Not really, I've always found it's best not to question them, but to instead leave them in the past."

Kate rolled her eyes playfully, then went to refocus on her paper but then her dog barked, catching her off guard, "What is it honey?"

"Well mama, you needs to get all like minded variables to the same side, then you'll get what she needs. Which would make x = 10 here."

Kate's eyes widened as you regurgitated Lucky's tip, she stared down at her dog in bewilderment, "Oh my gosh, my dogs a genius. We should call all the local news stations!"

"Kate, you guys live in the far away woods."

Kate deflated slightly, "You have a point."

After you collected your psyche, you moved about to get breakfast as well, then just as you were about to leave Kate stopped you with a hand in your face, "Wait! I just want you to know I knew how to do it, I'm smart too!"

“Don’t worry darling, I figured as much.”

——

A few days into your stay and you were feeling as if your only purpose was to service Yelena and her need to be in constant communication with Fanny, who was growing irritated by it.

"Ask her," you quietly groaned along with the poor dog who's head now burrowed beneath the pillow in her dog bed, a sign you'd think a well trained spy would catch, but she didn't.

"Tell her that she is worse than Lucky."

"You know, I think Fanny's tired."

"Y/N Y/L/N, I know my dog, she is not tired. We've not even taken our morning walk yet."

"I just want to know, does she prefer to take selfies with me or to live more in the moment."

"Tell her I'd actually like to live alone."

"She's very much all for living in the moment, now, if you'll excuse me I need to go pee."

As you passed the kitchen you saw Kate wearing a smile, "What did she really say?"

"Nothing the blonde’s heart can handle."

Kate nodded, "I figured as such, now go, hide in the study, Yelena hates books, she says they are just tiny, evil distractions, but actually, and don't tell her I told you, but she read Marley and Me and never went back in there again."

“That’s understandable… Welp, I’ll be going now, you’ll know exactly where to find me.”

——

The week you spent at the Bishop-Belova's was interesting to say the least, and unpleasant if you’re being honest. Finding yourself in the middle of an all out war sealed that in for you.

“Kate Bishop! Take your hand off of Y/N, she is mine!” Yelena yanked you away from her lover with all her might, and in doing so she nearly dislocated your shoulder, “My sisters girlfriend makes her mine before it makes her yours!”

“Yelena! She is her own person first, and you are making her miserable, it’s always: Fanny this, Fanny that, oh, what does Fanny think?” Kate shouted back, arms waving around like crazy, and you knew this was reaching way beyond yours and Fanny’s overall discomfort.

“What about me? What about my thoughts?”

Yelena’s brow’s scrunched, “I don’t need to hear them, I can read them on your face.”

“Oh, can you really now?” Kate arched a brow, and you watched as Yelena visibly froze up, and though this wasn’t your business you hated watching the poor girl struggle to understand.

“If I may,” Kate reluctantly nodded, so you gently touched Yelena’s arm, then leaned in to whisper, “She is feeling unappreciated, maybe you could take her out to a nice dinner.”

“Unappreciated? I appreciate her always!” Yelena shrieked in offense, “Who cleans her bow and arrows?” Kate frowned, “I do.”

“Yeah, the wrong way, so I go back and fix it,” Yelena boasted, and you saw a lightbulb of sort flicker behind the archers now widened eyes.

“Yelena, please tell me you’re not the reason I almost took Clint out on a mission last week.”

Yelena smirked, “I can neither confirm nor deny, but I can say it wasn’t my intention, more so a happy little accident in favor of my glee.”

“What did you use? Grease?” Kate shrieked in wonder and the blonde tentatively nodded.

“Welp, I’m going to chase the chickens again,” Fanny barked out of nowhere, you watched as the fluffy Akita stretched its entire body before making the great escape. Lucky whimpered as his ‘friend’ left, “I’m going to chase Fanny.”

“When is Natasha returning for us?” Liho questioned stoically while jumping atop the table before you out of nowhere, “I’m not sure I can handle their bickering for much longer.”

“Oh, because we’re so much better?”

Liho tilted his head, the cat’s equivalent of a shoulder shrug, “At least with those I win.”

“You do not!”

“Do too!”

Natasha watched from the doorway as the pairs of you were readily going at it, she found the sight rather amusing really. That was until Liho pounced onto your back when you tried to walk away, meanwhile Yelena was in a chokehold because she didn’t know when best to do that.

Natasha suddenly cleared her throat, spurring Liho to dart down the hallway as a tactic of self preservation, and for the couple hosting you to straighten up, and run away upon seeing the unamused glare of the one who trusted them.

Once they were all gone you ran into your lover, but pulled back from her embrace just as a soft hissing came from beneath her hoodie.

“Natty?” she smiled bashfully, “Don’t get mad.”

With a gentle movement the redhead pulled her hoodie forward, allowing the kitten you recognized from the photos to peak its little head out so that it could silently observe you.

“Ugroza,” Natasha smiles widely as she tells you the newest additions name, “It fits her, it means menace; we’ll call her Roza for short.”

“Liho isn’t going to appreciate this,” you teased while moving to hug your lover much slower this time, with the now sleeping cat snuggled between your bodies, “He’ll get over it,” she shrugged her shoulders playfully, then she leaned in to kiss you with total tenderness.

“I missed you so much Natty,” you whispered as you nuzzled into the side of her neck that the cat wasn’t perched upon, “Don’t leave again.”

Natasha sighed, “I wish I never had to love, but the world needs saving, and you protecting.”

“I’m sorry you have to worry about me, I wish I wasn’t so helpless,” you lamented, and the redhead immediately moved to hug you tighter, “Helpless or not I’ll always worry Y/N, I never stop worrying about those that I love.”

Natasha smiled as you choked on air, the small breath released hitting her skin causing her to shiver lightly, “You love me?” you looked up at her with untrusting eyes, it hurt her, but she couldn’t blame you for being scared, because she herself was terrified, but you were worth it.

Worth facing the unfamiliar feelings, and for her to express them openly, “Of course I do.”

“I-I love you too,” you squealed, bringing her in for a kiss that hardly worked since the two of you couldn’t stop smiling long enough for your lips to really touch. “Like, I love you so much!”

“Yeah?” she chuckled softly as you nodded with a glee to rival her own, “I love you so much too detka, more than I’ve ever loved anything.”

“That’s rude! I’m so much better than her,” you harshly rolled your eyes, “Welcome back Liho.”

Liho climbed up your back, disregarding your many grunts of pain, and as he settled on your shoulder he zeroed in on the new feline.

“Who is this, and why is she cuddling with my mother?” he tensed on your shoulder, and you held back a giggle to avoid obtaining his wrath.

“Liho, meet Ugroza,” Natasha lifted her up, and the black cat lifted his nose upwards, “Fitting.”

Natasha looked to you for clarity, you simply shook your head with a smile and she mirrored your action before leaning in to kiss you softly.

“Since when do you understand Russian?” You mused while following your lover out to the car, “It is a common word mother uses, so I don’t know what it is, just that it’s not good.”

“At least you’re aware that you’re a menace.”

Natasha scooped Liho up from your chest to nuzzle him gently, “Don’t worry, mama loves you both, and you’re gonna love Roza too.”

After ensuring both felines were buckled in tight Natasha rounded the car to ensure the same for you. She tugged to test the belt’s security, causing a warmth to flood through you, it was such a simple thing, but the way she cared for your safety above all was telling. It worked wonders erasing any remaining doubt you had that she didn’t really love you.

“I love you Natty,” she smiled over at you from the drivers seat, her hand fell atop of yours on the gear shift, “I will never tire of hearing it,” she put the car in drive, then brought your now conjoined hands to her lips to lay a gentle kiss to your knuckles, “I love you most detka.”

“Thank you for kidnapping me a year ago,” you genuinely relayed, but you were also wearing a silly smirk that made Natasha cackle rather loudly, “Thank you for letting me darling.”

——

3,061 Words

I don’t normally ask, but someone somewhere mentioned a part to this R where she and Nat get trapped in a Jurassic Park crossover, and I’m curious if anyone would want that 👀

❤️ Kaitlyn 😂

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.193 I got time

I love my wife; I love my child; I love my dogs; and I love this house. Life is incredible right now. What I feel is probably just remnants of endorphins from recent happy moments that will fade soon, but I intend to enjoy this high as long as it lasts. Sophia has been amazing through this move, and I never would have imagined she'd be the one leading the entire operation after her strong initial resistance. But when you've found your home, you just feel it. This kitchen is my absolute favorite of all my kitchens. It's not necessarily the nicest or the largest, because our last kitchen was pretty awesome. The actual workspace is about the same as what we had before, but the open floor plan makes it feel way less confined. I think, after the birthday party, I'm gonna change some things around and put a sofa where Desi's dollhouse is. That's how Less' kitchen is set up. I thought little of it because she needs it. When she and all her kids sit around the table, there's no room for anyone else. But as I think about how we'll gather in this space, I realize I need to make it more conducive to how it will be used.

My mind drifted while eating breakfast because my little girl ages up today. I am happy, and sad, and proud, and excited, and scared, and I feel crazy experiencing all of this simultaneously. That's when it hit me: I'm gonna be feeling crazy like this for the rest of my life. Desiree will never stop growing and starting new chapters, and we're going for the ride right along with her. Now I understand why my parents always beamed at me with such pride and admiration. Watching your child blossom is such a magical experience.

A text from Chi Chi jolted me out of my thoughts. It said my tenants haven't taken out their trash all week, which means they've been letting the trash pile up in the house. That message both alarmed me and made me laugh because I never pictured her being the neighborhood watch type. I appreciate her looking out, though, because I would never know. I drafted a lenient rental agreement to further enhance the home-like environment I want this family to enjoy. A bunch of rules would just cause friction between us, as most of the usual ones are unnecessary for a single-family house. The only thing I was adamant about was keeping the place tidy. I will not abide someone trashing our house and inviting all manner of pests like a neon we're open sign. I considered letting them off with a warning for the first offense, but if I've learned anything from Dub's saga, it's that I need to be firm from the jump. So, I sent them a §600 fine via the system. Within minutes, I received an email saying they weren't going to pay! My eyebrow went up so high it could have touched my hairline. Looks like I need to get dressed and get over there.

When I arrived, I laughed to myself because, of course, all the trash had magically disappeared, and I knew they were going to fight me, saying I falsely accused them or some other nonsense. Unluckily for them, I've got time for shenanigans.

"So, what's this about not paying my fine?"

He had that deer in headlights look.

"Uhh...heh, ehhh, I was just jerking you around dude."

I'm sure I had the blankest of expressions because I didn't know how to respond to that and halfway believed I even heard what I thought I heard.

"I was just trying to see how far I could go," he continued. "We've lived in a lot of places with all kinds of landlords. I just had to see what kind you are."

What kind of a landlord am I? I may not have to worry about money anymore, but I'm not running a charity. That's the kind of landlord I am, heh.

"I see. I'm chill. And I'm fair. But if you don't pay what you owe, we've got problems."

"Understood. I'll pay the fine right now. And sorry about the trash. It's just been one of those weeks."

I can't say I've ever had a week so bad I forgot to take out the trash, but I also do not have twins. I know just how hectic life can get with an infant, but two of them? Yikes. As a fellow first-time father, I cut him some slack. I'm still expecting that payment, though.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my fiancee do extra flights to pick me up and drop me off again?

For context, I'm 24M and my fiancee is 26NB. I'm disabled and can't fly alone because of it, though to be honest even if I was able-bodied I likely still wouldn't be able to due to also having AvPD.

We're in a long-distance relationship - I live in Scotland, and she lives in Indiana, USA. We've met up several times before, all of which were her flying out to visit me with me paying for all of her flights and our accommodation etc. We began to talk about moving in together and getting her a Visa to live here, but her family understandably said they wanted to meet me first (she still lives with her parents), so I agreed that before focusing on any of that I would visit her there for a few weeks as well to meet her relatives and let her show me around like I had with her.

Since I'd paid for all of her visits here, the agreement would be that she'd pay for my flight there this time. However at the time I made it pretty clear that if I couldn't find anyone to go with me (which was doubtful from the beginning as all of my family work full-time and I don't have many IRL friends who'd be able to travel with me for weeks at a time) it would be a case of "either I have to get picked up or I can't go at all". She agreed to this and said she'd be fine with doing that as long as I paid for those flights, which I was more than happy to do as they're a favour/accommodation for me.

To try and ease the pain-in-the-ass'ness of her having to do an extra trip out here and back just for me, we arranged for her to stay here with me for a week before and a week after so it's not a case of her getting off a plane, grabbing me, and getting on another plane and she can have a break. Accommodation is all sorted for that and everything already which I'm paying for as well. Everything's been booked and she seemed totally fine with this (beyond some understandably minor grumbling about how annoying and tiring it'll be to do the extra flights which like, fair, it will be).

However, after the tickets were booked, pretty much everyone she knows blew up at me over those extra flights. As far as I'm aware her parents/friends knew that's what we'd need to do, but I guess were holding out hope I'd be able to get someone to come with me, which unfortunately I wasn't (and trust I asked everyone I possibly could because I wasn't really looking forward to throwing out the extra £2k as a disabled person who can't work either), and now that it was confirmed my fiancee would have to be doing the extra trips they were really angry about her doing it.

Her parents have, for lack of a better term, gone completely berserk. Her mom has locked herself in her room, her dad came into her room while we were on call to scream that she wasn't going and that it made no sense, that if I couldn't fly by myself then they aren't going to let her move in with me either, they removed my name from their family signs and shit, it's a whole thing. They've basically completely frozen me out over these extra trips. I know at least one of her friends is also incredibly angry at me for 'making' her do it, and has told my fiancee something along the lines of "If I ever meet him I'll be sure to make him feel guilty for this" and as far as I know has actively said they hate me over it. Everyone is telling her to cancel the trip over it, which we can't do because we just spent thousands on non-refundable tickets (and which we don't want to do anyway!).

My fiancee was taking the "Why don't they understand you're disabled?" route to me but I was worried she was saying something else to them and that's why they were so angry, but I've double and triple checked with her that she's not actually secretly super against the idea, and she confirmed again that beyond her being a little annoyed about the extra time/effort it's fine and she's down to do it and that she understands why we have to do it this way. I've apologised over and over because I KNOW it's complicated and annoying and inconvenient and if there was another way I could find I would love to take it. I've tried to do everything I can to make up for it, cover everything financially, give her the extra buffers of time before and after so it's not just a pick-up drop-off trip and is just like an extra visit here, I can't think of what else to do to make it better for her and everyone else.

But her family and friends' reactions have made me second guess everything like - is this more than just an annoying inconvenience? Am I being completely unreasonable by asking her to do it at all? It seems like everyone did a complete 180 on their attitudes towards me over it and it's making me wonder if it's actually way bigger than I can see.

What are these acronyms?

[monikashinswife]

Hiiiiiiiii! So i love all your monika fanfics!!! Pls tell me there are still more to come!!!

But I would like to make a request for a fanfic of Hyowon 😭 pls im so deprived of her! Like the fem reader is an actress in hollywood but staying with Hyowon in korea and she goes on an instagram live and everyone is surprised. It also shows how sweet, caring, thoughtful and overprotective lip j is towards the reader.

Thank you so muuuuuch!!!

"The Korean"

(Lip J x Hollywood Actress! Reader)

・❥・time for our Sooni! been dropping few updates cause I think I'm gonna be inactive because school's starting again. Anygays, enjoy darlings!<3 Request inbox is open anytime<33 ⋆ ★

Flashes of the cameras and the overwhelming voices of the paparazzis triggers me, but like always. I have nothing to do. They are doing their job. But why is their job this horrible?

I understand that when you are a well known name. Paparazzis will follow, but doesn't make it less comfortable. They are still invading someone's personal space.

Fortunately, I got along with some of them. But it doesn't mean that this doesn't bother me. Just then, one of the paparazzi asked while I am walking towards the entrance of the airport.

"Where are you going? Are you gonna film another project?" He asked quickly. And I answered them robotically but still politely as I try to squeeze myself through many paparazzis.

I thank the guards for helping me. As much as I love being an actress. It's still very overwhelming especially now that I just finished another film that had me mentally challenged.

Going to South Korea would be my rest and escape. That country became my second home when Hyo Won took me there few years ago.

It became my home because it was hers. And because she is there.

I quickly became overwhelmed and noticed myself tearing up because of what just happened. I didn't know how I got to the plane but I'm glad I did. I sigh in relief as I look at the mesmerizing sight.

In order to distract myself I decided to read my book for a while. I was so immersed with the story that I forgot to message Sooni before we boarded. I figured that I'll do it when the plane landed.

I took some photos and continued reading the book that Hyo Won gave to me. I can already feel the stress leaving, I got so invested to the story that the flight felt like a few minutes.

Before I knew it, I'm already in Korea. I smiled as I walk to the airport with my suitcases and phone in hand. I decided to post some pics for my fans.

I continued walking after I posted, trying to find somewhere to eat before I messaged her that I'm already at the airport. But Sooni knows what time my arrival so she'd be here soon.

"Honey!" My head almost snapped because of how quickly I turned around when I heard her voice. "Sooni!" I giggled when I saw her running towards me. I immediately open my arms to be hugged by her.

"I missed you so much." I mumbled against her neck. She rubbed my back while kissing my hair. "I know, but you're here now." She comforted me softly. I nodded against her before parting our bodies.

"Let's go?" She urge softly when she noticed people recognizing us. I nodded and she helped me with my luggage. She drove us to her apartment, during the car ride, I was quite worried because of the silence.

It was comfortable yes, but my mind's making me think things. "Hey... you alright?" She must've noticed my internal battle. She put her free hand on my thigh, caressing it to bring comfort.

"Hmm?" I snap out of my thoughts to look at her concerned eyes for a moment. I hold her hand and bring it to my lips to assure her that I'm fine.

We reached her house. And she helped me get settled. She toured me around first, "where's the guest room honey?" I asked, I noticed her change of emotion.

"Here." She lead me to the room, opening the door for me. "Here's the guest room." I carefully watch her, noting how her voice suddenly sounded so distraught.

I chuckled before wrapping my arms around her neck. She tried to avoid my eyes by looking everywhere, "What's wrong?" she reluctantly turned to look at my doe eyes.

"It's just that-" she stopped herself, but I urge her by bringing my hand to cup her cheek. "I don't want you to sleep here." She hides her face in embarrassment.

"Just say you miss me." She tried to get away from me when I teased her. But before she could go anywhere, I hug her from the back.

"Stop~" annoyance can be heard in her voice, "Aigoo~ you baby" I make her turn around while my arms are still around hers. I missed this so much.

"I asked because I wanna know where I'll put my things." I explained and that made her loosen up before smiling widely.

"Ok!" She avoided me once again by taking care of my things. I laugh as I watch her set my things quickly and dragged me out of the guest room.

The entire day was spent really nicely, we cuddled on her couch and catch up on things and made plans for tomorrow.

I am laying on our shared bed, casually browsing through my phone. I knew that it was probably not a good idea to scroll through comments. But I did, I scroll to the comments on my latest post.

Luckily, it was all good. Fans are saying that they missed me already and and I thought it would be a good idea to go live for a quick update.

"Oh hi everyone." I wave my hand as I was trying to find a comfortable and nice position so I could record myself properly.

"How's everyone?" I read the comments, and they did not disappoint like always. They are so dear to me.

"Flight's good, some problems with going to the airport though." I updated them enthusiastically. I interacted with them. Joking and asking them things and vice versa.

"How's the korean?" I read out loud without thinking, I laughed as I realized the question. "It's been great." I answered carefully. I didn't even noticed Sooni entering the room. Not until she laid on top of me, her lower body on the bed and her arms wrapped around me.

She rested her chin on my chest while looking at me lovingly. Thinking that I'm talking to my friend. In instinct I played with her hair while reading the comments.

She adjusted and buried her face on my neck for a moment. I put the phone down when she reach for my lips. I cup her face our lips dance against each other passionately.

We made out, missing moments like this because it's really been a while. "Are you live?" She asked when we parted. I nodded and reached for my phone. The comments going wild because of our interaction.

"I'm screen recording"

"Did anyone heard the sounds? Or it's just me👀"

" the Korean is doing really great~"

We read the comments and look at each other with straight faces before bursting out of laughter. "That's gonna be my new nickname" Sooni said, shaking her head in fake sadness before burying her face on my neck again.

"My poor Sooni." I purred, teasing her. I constantly teased her during the live. We're both answering questions while Hyo Won is feeding me.

She casually fed me while I answered the questions that is directed to me enthusiastically. Hyo Won expresses her love through actions.

We took turns feeding each other, we talked with the fans. Even taking turn holding the camera, but when she noticed how it's hard to find a stable angle.

"Let me, love" she ask for the phone, then she took a tripod so it's less hassle. I am watching her endearingly as she sets up the phone.

Once it's done, she went back to her place. She's behind me. Her chin on my shoulder while her hands are wrap around me.

We continue the live like that. The fans took note of everything. For sure this would go big and some of them approving and accepting our relationship.

They were shocked because of the different sides of us are revealed. And they were the ones to witness it raw. They realize how both of us are being ourselves with each other and are happy that we are happy.

𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪𓆩⟡𓆪

(not proofread and sorry for the ending. I am sleepy already)

[softspeirs]

These Heartbeats Clear (6): Rosie Rosenthal x OC

A/N: This is quite a bit shorter than the other parts, but I thought it deserved its own time to shine. I hope you enjoy this part, Rosie lovers. It's been one of my favorites to write. These Heartbeats Clear Masterlist

Six. Confession.

They land back at Thorpe Abbotts in the mid-afternoon. His breath rattles in his lungs, post-mission adrenaline making him feel twitchy and on edge.

He wants a nap, and he wants a cup of coffee.

Mostly, he just wants to talk to Grace.

He's been too in his own head to seek her out since their disagreement two days prior. He misses her with an ache he has never felt, one that leaves him rubbing at the spot over his heart like it's a physical wound.

After interrogation, he doesn't even stop to change out of his flight suit - he just turns in whatever gear doesn't belong to him, and then gets the hell out of dodge. He has too much nervous energy, too much adrenaline to go to the mess, or catch up with any of his guys.

He changes course, heads back towards his plane.

On the hardstand, his heart kicks into high gear when he sees a familiar form standing there, arms crossed over her chest, assessing his plane.

Her hair is falling out of its pins, and he knows he must look the same - she's never seen him directly after a mission except for once when Pappy had to go to the hospital, and he's strangely self conscious about his wild hair and the sweat drying at his temples. The smell of cordite is still thick in the air near his plane.

"What are you doing out here?" His voice sounds rough even to his own ears. He didn't think she'd be here.

She turns around, and he can see the tears in her eyes from paces away, and it startles him into action. "Grace." He says, worried.

"I thought-- someone said they saw flares, and I couldn't find you, you weren't in the hospital--"

He shakes his head, hands on her shoulders to try to get her to meet his eyes. "I'm fine, we're-- we had two wounded men, but it wasn't serious."

Her eyes are wide and wild as she looks up at him, cataloging for herself that he's intact. It's caught him completely off guard to be the sole focus of her attention like this.

She said she wasn't angry with him a few days ago during their argument, but he didn't really believe her. Couldn't figure out why she'd walk away from him if that were the case. But she's here, and that's got to be a sign, right?

She takes an enormous, steadying breath. "I'm sorry." She says on an exhale, the words washing over him.

"What?"

"I-- I made you upset, the other day. I'm sorry. I was too pushy. Too-- Everyone's always telling me that I can be too much sometimes."

"Everyone is wrong," he says vehemently. "You're not too much. And you don't owe me an apology."

Her words had hurt, yes, but they were also a wake-up call. She had been frustrated with him because he wouldn't let her in, and he's not going to make that mistake a second time. If there's anyone on earth that he's going to bare his soul to, it's going to be Grace Fleming. It's a foregone conclusion, already written in ink since the second he first met her, pristine in her nurse's uniform and sparkling eyes the day he arrived from the States with his unit and she had to declare them fit for duty.

He had felt it then, the electric current that ran between them with only a gaze, and it only got stronger the longer he spent getting to know her. Sometimes he feels like she's the only person on earth who understands him, so when she suddenly didn't -- that's what made him upset. Not that she was pushing him to be honest, be vulnerable, to let her in.

"I'm the one who's sorry." He says, voice cracking. "Grace, I have no idea how to do this." He can't look at her. He does a good job hiding it, but some days he feels unbearably unworthy of praise, hers or anyone else's. He feels shy, especially under her gaze. "I have to stay in a rhythm, you know? And if I let myself dwell on things in the past that I can't fix, I won't be able to keep going up there."

"I thought you died today." She croaks.

He takes a step closer. The tips of their shoes bump.

"I didn't."

"I know. I have faith in you, Rosie. Please don't ever doubt that. I want you to be safe. That’s all I can think about some days, and I never want you to feel like you have to keep all your feelings inside. Not with me.”

“I know.” His hand finds the side of her face, fingers grazing the shell of her ear, making sure she meets his eyes. “And I trust you to keep me safe, more than anyone else.”

“Up here too, right?” She asks, tapping his forehead in an echo of their previous conversation.

His conviction has never been a problem before - he's lucky that he's always been sure of his reasoning behind the choices he makes. He saw an injustice happening, and was determined to help stop it. When he became a lawyer, he wanted to help people.

So why is he so damned scared to make this one choice, even when he's sure of how he feels?

Looking in her eyes, he's starting to realize that this is what a good partnership is. Despite their disagreement, she was still here, still checking on him the way she always did.

Maybe nothing about that would change, even if he lets her in on that niggling voice in the back of his mind that makes him doubt himself. Even if he shows her that shy side of himself that people so rarely see.

And maybe that's how it is when you fall in love with someone - you trust them to catch you when it happens.

Mind made up, he leans in so there are only a few inches separating them. “Please let me kiss you.” His voice is so hoarse it's barely a whisper.

She nods, and before she can say another word, he surges forward, the frenetic energy of the day leaving him as soon as their bodies connect.

Her touch is a soothing balm, her heartbeat under his hand on the side of her neck a reminder that they’re both here and alive.

This quiet moment between them feels like a universe away from everything and everyone else, and when she sighs into his mouth, Rosie knows right then and there that he’s done for.

When they break apart, they’re both panting, her hands so tight on his lapels he can’t move an inch even if he wanted to.

“I’m crazy about you.” His voice is low and rough with intensity.

She laughs, a breathless thing that he feels all the way to the tips of his toes. “I just adore you, Robert Rosenthal.”

His grin is wide as he leans back in, their noses brushing. They just linger there in the in between, basking in this newfound intimacy between them.

He has half a mind to remember that they're on the hardstand where anyone could see, but he also wonders if at this point anyone would care. They're all doing what they need to do to get through this war, and it's not uncommon to turn a corner in the darkened light of the evening and find a couple trying to salvage any kind of romance.

Still, she's just been promoted, and so with regret, he takes a step back from her, his fingertips grazing hers. "Can I take you to dinner?" He asks.

"Please."

They just end up in the officer's mess, the only place they can get to before dinner is over, but it's fine because it's them. No one raises an eyebrow or makes any suggestive comments. They don't touch, but a new awareness has sparked between them that Rosie can't get enough of. He's felt it for weeks, but now he knows it's mutual, and that feeling is a heady one.

They talk. Well, he talks. He's as honest with her as he can be about where his mind is. They talk about home. They talk about work. They talk about what it'll be like when this is all over.

Afterwards, he feels so stupid that he hadn't trusted himself to let go like this with her before. It could have saved two days worth of missing her, but then again, it lead them to right here, right now.

He walks her to the nurses hut as the sun is setting. Satisfied no one is around, he kisses her goodnight just as the field beyond them drifts into a dreamy twilight.

He flies again the next day, but this time the anxiety it normally causes is absent as he climbs into his rack later that night, the memory of the feeling of her finally in his arms sending him into a dreamless sleep.

[mosneakers]

Erwin: ...So this is how it ends, huh?

As the night winds down, a hungry crowd clusters around The Batterie, their pockets full with simoleons and stomachs growling. With the last of Cecilia's famed bot-made waffles disappearing fast, the crowd presses in, eager to snag the final delectable bites.

Cecilia: Atttttention, vaLued patrons! Waffle supPly depleted with graTitude for your enthusiaSm. Wishing everyone a joYous and saFe SpooKy Day season. Until our next delighTful encouNter!

Erwin narrows his eyes and watches all the customers leave Cecilia's food stand without so much as a glance toward his Curio Shop.

Erwin: You know, small business owners like myself don't stand a chance against robot-run businesses, Cecilia. And it doesn't help that Coni insisted on you setting up shop right next to me.

Cecilia: Erwin, I unDerstand your woRries. However, our businesses cater to different demOgraphics, and my presence heRe should not impact yours negatively. Additionally, it's poSsible your shop might not attract an abundance of patRons, even if I am occupying this viciniTy. I'd bE hapPy to offer tiPs to enhance yourr venture's success if you're interesTed.

Erwin: Thanks, Cecilia. Next time. Hey—question? Surely most of the Strangerville population has bought from you by now. Have any of them seemed suspicious to you? As in, aliens in disguise, suspicious?

Cecilia: All customeRs seem equally delightFul to me. Remember, positive inteRactions make for a thRRiving business! By the way, have you coNsidered adding some upbeat ambiance to youR Curio Shop? It mighT attract even more patrrons!

Erwin: Good vibes, noted. But seriously— I recently had a questionable encounter at the information center, and I could really use your help right about now. Now is your chance to prove robots can be good. Come on, your AI has unlimited intelligence! Surely, you've identified at least one alien.

Cecilia: Erwin, I'm heRe to help with positive maTters and ensure a harmonious environment. HoWever, my capabilities don't exTend to identifying sPecific individuals. WouLd you liKe me to brrrrainstorm some more tiPs and tricks for a more successful business venTure?

Erwin: UGH! NO. Okay... Cecilia, name one plant-sim we know. Cecilia: Certainly! One plant-sim we know: Sage Darling. Erwin: ...And a werewolf? Cecilia: One werewolf we know: Brick Darling. Erwin: Name any mermaid. Cecilia: A mermaid we know: Minnow Darling.

Erwin: Great. Now, name an alien. Cecilia: ErwiN, identifying indiviDuals is beyond my capabilities. Can I assiSt with anything else, like optimizing your Curio Shop layout foR better custoMer engagement?

Erwin: ...

-The Next Evening-

Erwin: Sunglo... Got a minute? We need to talk.

Sunglo: I appreciate you letting me live here, Erwin, but I still need to be able to get through the work day uninterrupted, if you want me to keep up with the rent.

Erwin: This won't take long. It's about your bot. Sunglo: [Sigh] I'm listening...

Erwin: I was having a little chat with her, and I can't help but wonder... Is there any particular reason why she'd be programmed to avoid the topic of... aliens?

[md-confessions]

Trigger Warning for abuse since I am going to be talking about it a lot.

My honest reaction to TSM anon's confessions/posts trying to justify J's treatment of N. (They're so ass)

Ok so uhh... Anyway I'll try to debunk some of the points:

First of all: yes the fuck she is abusive! Search the damn definition on Google or the dictionary, it's exactly what she's doing, like beat for beat.

Let's start with two examples: one from the manor and another from copper-9.

J kicking N in the manor flashback: for context N and V had literally just bumped into each other, made a spark and both were trying to clean up the mess they made, then comes in Ms. Tenth letter of the alphabet with a kick to N's face for like no fucking reason whatsoever.

J stepping on N's chest while he clearly struggles: In the pilot during the scene that introduces the Alphabet squad during J's introduction she has her foot on his chest while saying he's useless, terrible and if she could, she'd kill him herself and N is very clearly struggling to even breath.

Those two very clearly ARE abuse, the second one even has a tinge of verbal abuse!

Ok so TSM tried to justify both these actions by us not knowing the full context.

The context of the kick is that: there is none, that kick was completely unprovoked, so J had absolutely no reason for kicking N aside from him being in her way from the "move it moron" line, and she changes up her attitude completely at Tessa being there, her visor showing those hollow eyes that drones show when worried or scared.

But even if you say "oh but N was in J's way so she kicked him out" but she could have just, you know, MOVED A LITTLE BIT TO THE RIGHT?!?!? And also that does not excuse kicking a person in the face.

Context of the second scene is: THERE IS NONE, ONE AGAIN! The reason that scene exists is to show that A. J is abusive towards N, and B. J is a hypocrite! Let me explain, A is very self explanatory, stepping on someone's chest and verbally abusing them is very clearly well... Abuse and B is to show that even though she calls N useless, N has shown throughout the rest of the series he is a very competent fighter, arguably better than his fellow DDs and also that even though J was pretty much insulting N for being weak, she got killed by a Angsty bisexual 18-year-old with a pen and a Railgun made out of like, scrap.

I don't know how you can genuinely look at those scenes and go "J isn't an abuser" even though yes she fucking is.

Also I dead ass forgot that second post aside from the "why would Cyn put N in the squad if his abuser?" Part, which has a very simple explanation: it wasn't Cyn, it was Mr. Solver of the absolute fabric itself! It used Cyn as a host, Cyn wasn't in control, she prob has been dead for a long ass time.

The solver is sadistic and it likes fucking with the alphabet squad, take V as an example: it allowed V to keep her memories, just to make V's trauma even worse.

The solver thinks it's funny to traumatize people so why wouldn't it think putting a person in the same team as their abuser wouldn't be?

Anyways I've been typing this since 5:30 AM, and now it's 6:50 and I got school so I'll stop here, if you got anything else to add put it in the reblogs ig...

Final note: I haven't been abused myself (not that I remember) so I can't really fully grasp the concept, but still, J's treatment of N is like, the dictionary definition of Abuse, I'm very bad at understanding other people and their emotions and I'm not super great at analysing characters but this shit is so obviously abuse seeing TSM over here trying to say otherwise is giving me a brain aneurysm.

Anyways have a good day/evening/night or whatever time of day it is :D

.

[otdiaftg]

The Raven King - Chapter Seven

Day: Thursday, October 5th Time: 11:30 PM EST

"I mean literally soft. Too many curves, see? I feel like my hands would slide right off. It's totally not my thing. I like..." He drew a box with his fingers as he searched for words. "Erik. Erik's perfect. He's a total outdoors junkie, rock climbing and hiking and mountain biking, all that awful bug-infested fresh-air stuff. He's stronger than I am, and I like that. I feel like I could lean on him all day and he wouldn't break a sweat." "Funny," Nicky said. "That didn't used to be my type. None of the others I crushed on growing up were anything like that. Maybe that's why none of them could help me." Nicky turned his hands palm-up on the table and considered them. "My parents are kind of crazy, you know? There's religious and there's super psychotic religious. Me and Renee, we're the decent sort, I think. We go to different churches and have some different ideas, but we respect each other anyway. We understand that religion is just an interpretation of faith. But my parents are the black-and-white crazy kind. It's only right and wrong with them: hellfire and damnation and judgment from on high. "For some reason I tried coming out to them anyway," Nicky said. "Mom was pretty upset. She locked herself in the bedroom and cried and prayed for days. Dad took a more direct route and shipped me off to Christian gay camp. I spent a year learning that I was infected by a disgusting idea from the devil, that I was a living test for every other good Christian on the planet. They tried using God to shame me into being straight. "It didn't work," Nicky said. "For a while I wished it did. I went home feeling like an abomination and a failure. I couldn't face my parents like that, so I lied. I pretended to be straight for the rest of high school. I even dated a couple girls. I kissed a couple of them, but I used my faith as an excuse never to get further than first base. I knew I just had to keep it together until graduation. "I hated my life so much," Nicky said. "I couldn't do that, you know? I couldn't live a lie like that day after day. I felt trapped. Some days I thought God abandoned me; sometimes I thought I failed Him. Halfway through my junior year I started thinking about suicide. Then my German teacher took me aside and told me about a study abroad program. She would set it all up for me, she said, if my parents would sign off on it. She'd handle admissions and get a host family and everything. It'd be expensive, but she thought I needed a change in scenery. Guess she knew I was that close to the edge. "I didn't think Mom and Dad would go for it, but they were so proud of me for my so-called recovery they agreed to let me go my senior year. I just had to last another semester and then I could go. I was so desperate to get out of there I didn't even really pay attention when Aaron and Aunt Tilda moved to Columbia that spring. All I cared about was keeping it together until May. I know now I should have tried harder, but I would've been no good to him how I was. "When the plane took off from Columbia, I was scared to death," Nicky said. "I was so relieved to leave my parents and everyone I knew, but I didn't know if being in Germany would change anything. When I landed, my new host brother was waiting for me in Arrivals. Erik Klose," Nicky said, sounding it out like he was saying it for the first time. "He taught me to believe in myself. He showed me how to balance my faith and my sexuality, and he made me okay again. I know it sounds dramatic, but he saved my life." Nicky flipped his hands over and laced his fingers together. The look he turned on Neil was as reassuring as it was worried and made Neil want to edge away. "That's what love is about, see? That's why Exy isn't ever going to be enough, not for you or Andrew or anyone. It can't hold you up, and it won't make you a stronger or better person."

Art used with permission by Kurra. Thank you @kurra !

[elacular-kink]

Poly-techhic 3: Maya Learns

Today we'll be going back in time to see how Maya learned about Susanna's fetish and started dating her. This does have hiccups, but not a whole lot, and it's more on the feelingsy, story-y type side. I've written one 3.5 that's all feelings, so hopefully I'll write another 3.5 that's all hiccups later. We'll see.

Character Sheet

TW: Inebriation, Gender?, Anger, Emotional meltdown, Self-loathing, Kink anxiety

Kinks: Hiccups (Relatively small amount), inebriation

"Blaaaaaa-aaagh!" I threw myself into the backseat of Olivia's car along with my half-asleep, hiccuping, drunk teammate. I was halfway drunk myself, which was one of the many reasons I wasn't driving us home from the away game, but I was sober enough to make sure Kaeligh's ass was belted in, at least. I was also sober enough to be in a bad mood. "Hey, Liv! Anyone ever tell you your girlfriend's a real pain in the dick?"

"She's not my girlfriend, but yeah."

I let Kaeligh lean on me and drool on my shoulder while I pouted. "I don't get you two."

"We don't get you either, Maya," Liv said, completely focused on the road even though she hadn't started driving yet.

"How come she's not riding home with us anyway?"

The ancient minivan grumbled as Liv shifted it out of park. I couldn't believe that anyone in our goddamn college actually knew how to drive stick, much less owned one of the fuckers. "Because she's riding back home with Charlie."

I rolled my eyes and made a jerk-off motion. "You know that's not what the fuck I meant, Liv. Seriously, I don't understand Susie at all. I get you. You make sense. And when you don't make sense, I can just have you explain shit."

"More people should be like that," she said, and even though I was too grumpy to say it out loud, I agreed with her. "Susanna doesn't make understanding her easy. She never has. What's specifically annoying you about her right now? Was it when she told the other team's three that if she smoked around me she'd break her bong over her head?"

I snorted. "Nah, that was hilarious. It's just...she's so fucking mysterious and weird and stupid about the most random shit! Like, I don't think she's fishing for compliments, not on purpose, so why the fuck does she keep saying she sucks at rugby?"

"Because she's the slowest and physically the weakest on the team."

"Yeah, but so?" I shook my head. "Does she seriously not get that when a normal person gets hit by someone a hundred pounds heavier than them, they immediately fall the fuck down? They don't give physics the finger and stay up long enough to chuck the fucking ball!"

After a moment of thought, Liv nodded. "Yeah. She seriously doesn't get that."

"Does she not have eyes? God...dammit, Kay, stop trying to kiss me, you smell like Four Loko. And not in a good way." Kaeligh muttered and hiccuped something, but at least she listened.

"No, her eyes work fine. But she only sees things that she's actually looking for. And she's never looking for things she does well."

"God that girl's fucked up." I crossed my arms and sulked.

"...you're still worried about something, aren't you Maya?"

I huffed and took off my glasses, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "I get why Susie says you're annoying now."

"Yeah, I get that too. But I'm right."

I glanced over at Kaeligh. She seemed to be snoring enough to at least be mostly unconscious. "...okay, did Kay offend her or something?"

"No, she'd have said so if she did."

"Then what the fuck is up? Because she's avoiding her, right? I can tell. That's why she's in Chuck's car instead of yours."

Liv heaved a sigh as she pulled onto the highway, sticking to the left lane and barely pushing her rustbucket up to the speed limit. "Yeah, she is. But I can't explain why. Everyone's life would be a lot simpler if I could, or if she'd just be in the car anyway, but she isn't here and she doesn't let me because she's stupid."

"Man, no kidding." After a long moment, I sighed. "How the fuck am I supposed to get through to her, Liv? I like her. I think she's interesting."

"Yeah. I like her too."

"So how'd you do it?"

Olivia was silent for a long while. "...I guess I didn't let her run. She can say what she doesn't want. She's really good at that. So assume that if she hasn't said anything she still wants you around. You've gotta push her. And it feels kind of weird saying that because I'd really hate it if someone did that to me."

I frowned. "Yeah, I'd hate that too. And I know some people gotta be pushed like that, but..." After a long moment, I decided I could be honest with her. "But I know I can go too far with it. I've done that before. Are you sure she'll tell me if I'm fucking up?"

"Positive," she said. "Sometimes she'll be uncomfortable and not explain that, and that's really annoying, but if she's upset at you, she'll say so. And it's not hard to tell the difference between her being fake upset and real upset." After a bit of silence, Liv sighed. "I think Susanna just can't accept the fact that good things can happen to her."

"How the fuck does a person get to be that way?"

"A lot of Catholic school, probably."

"God damn. Literally." I stared out the window and watched other cars zoom past us. What the fuck was up with that tiny lesbian? I really really really needed to know.

That Friday I got a chance to try and learn more. When I heard a knock on my dorm room's door, I opened it, halfway dressed and having been mid-post-class nap. "What."

"It's six." A skinny brown blur said in front of me. After a moment, I realized that I recognized Olivia's voice. I also saw a tiny mostly-black blur by her side and context-clued that it was Susie. "You said that was when the pregame would start."

...shit, they actually thought we'd start pregaming at fucking six? Damn. I swore that I wasn't this naive as a freshman. "Cool. Cool. C'mon in. I'll, uh...beers. Yeah."

"I'm not coming. Only Susanna is."

"Ex-fucking-scuse me?" I saw the tan blob near the top of the black blur twist towards the brown blur, and I snorted.

"I told you I wouldn't be coming to the party. And the list online said not to pregame if you won't go to the party." Oh my god, they looked up a fucking listicle to learn how parties worked? What fucking turnip truck did these two roll off of? And how had I ended up boning Liv a week after meeting her if they were this fucking...pure?

God, I had so many questions.

"So what, you're just gonna abandon me to—" The answer must have been "yes", because the black blur was pushed inside, and the brown blur shut the door behind her. "...cool. Uh, if you wanna go back to sleep, you can."

"Pff, bullshit. Like I'm letting your ass escape now."

"...great." I wrapped an arm around the blob that I was 98% sure was Susie and led her over to the chair next to my desk, shoving her into it and feeling around for my glasses. Eventually, she reached out and put them in my hand like a magical helpful spirit of darkness. Or something. I was still waking up. Once I put them on, I was able to confirm that it was, in fact, Susie, and she was, in fact, glaring at me. That wasn't weird though. "You wanna put on a shirt or something?" She said, and it occurred to me that I was wearing nothing up top but a bra.

"Nah, we're both girls here." I moved back towards my bed, then paused. "Unless we're not? I mean, it's chill either way."

Susie opened her mouth, let it hang open, then closed it and pursed her lips. "I'll, uh...I'll get back to you on that one."

"Fair 'nough." I scrounged under my bed and pulled out a box of beers, grabbing one and giving it to her before pulling out one of my own. "You ever drink?"

"Does wine that tastes like it's literally 2000-year-old blood count?"

Whaaaat the fuck? "...I'm gonna say no on that one, chief."

"Then no. Do these need a bottle opener or—"

"Nah, it's a twistie." Susie pulled one hand inside one of her massive hoodie sleeves, then twisted the cap and managed to get it open. After a long moment, she put her lips to the bottle and took a sip. "So? Whadaya think?"

"It, uh, definitely tastes." She burped softly. "Don't dislike it as much as I thought I would though."

"Think you might be more into girly fruity type drinks?"

"Might be easier at least. If Olivia was ever gonna drink, it'd have to be something like that. If she tasted this, she'd probably light the entire box on fire." Even so, Susie took another sip. "Oh, fuck, that reminds me. Olivia's, uh, pregame research said we shouldn't come empty-handed and that carbo-loading was important, so we ordered pizza. She tried to plan it so that it'd arrive here at the same time we did, but, uh...well, pizza places aren't exactly that fucking reliable."

"Dude, have you two ever been to, like, any parties?"

"No."

I blinked and stared at Susie. She stared right back at me. "...no, you know what, that makes sense. Yeah. Well, I definitely wouldn't say no to pizza. 'Specially with someone else paying. So, what's got you here tonight? I know you haven't come to any before, and it damn sure wasn't 'cause I haven't invited you."

Susie looked down at the brown bottle she was holding. It was wider than a lot of bottles, so she had to use both of her tiny hands to hold it comfortably, and goddamn if that wasn't cute as fuck. "Well, I knew this one was going to be at the Queer house. And, uh..." She reached into her hood and scratched the back of her head. "I mean, besides Olivia, I've never really been around other Queer people my age. So I don't really know what they...what we...do?"

Huh. That was...something. "Your high school was a normal one, right? You not have a GSA?"

"I mean, maybe we did, maybe we didn't. I don't actually know. For most of high school it was just...me and Olivia."

God, I had so many questions about these two. If their lives were as sad as Susie made them sound, why wasn't Liv more emo? If their lives were as normal as Liv made them sound, then why was Susie so emo? How the heck did these two go together? What did they have in common? Maybe it was a weird poly thing about me, but I was almost more attracted to their relationship than I was to either of them.

I was still pretty friggin' attracted to both of them, though, as Susie reminded me when she pulled off her hood. I had no idea why the fuck she kept it up so much because her face was fucking adorable.

Hm. Given how scary she liked to try and look, maybe that was why she kept it up all the time.

Susie's phone blinged with a text. "Ah, shit, pizza guy's outside. Okay, could you keep the door open for me? I'm not gonna be able to get it together while I hold a whole fucking pizza." I nodded and she went off. While she was gone, I took a look at her beer bottle.

...there was a tiny bit of lip gloss on it. Shit, she wore makeup for this? Maybe she really did wanna be here.

Over the next hour and a half, it was just the two of us, but I didn't really mind. If any of those other bitches wanted pizza, they should have been adorable and naive as fuck and arrived at the actual right time. So we got a whole-ass pepperoni pizza to ourselves (and by "we" I mainly mean me), and once she'd got a whole beer in her, she'd warmed up a little bit. She was still a snarky little fuck, but I actually got to see her smile and hear her laugh.

...and notice she had on eyeliner and mascara too. Okay, yeah, she was definitely here on purpose. Also, how the fuck did someone this butch learn how to put on eyeliner that well? Did Liv do it? She never wore makeup either.

That question would have to wait since the other girls started showing up. Susie got a little shyer, but she managed to keep her feet under her pretty well, and I could tell I wasn't the only one who liked her. Mandy even asked if she could put makeup on her, and Susie let her do it. The fact that that interaction didn't end up with the two of them kissing was the dumbest thing in the universe. My teammates were truly fucking gifted in useless lesbianism.

Once my other teammates were there, I wasn't just keeping an eye on Susie. She seemed like she was handling herself well enough, and I absolutely didn't plan on playing babysitter all night. So we kept pregaming, and eventually, we got to the Queer house, and the goddamn party actually got started. I spent that night drinking and dancing and making out with guys, girls, and anyone else who'd put their mouth on mine.

I wasn't sure quite how long it'd been or how many deep I was, but my night was interrupted when I caught a case of fucking drunk hiccups, of all things. "Oh shit! Liv's here!" My teammate Chloe said, grabbing me in a headlock and completely ruining my seduction of a cute person whose gender I was particularly unsure of. 

"Yeah yeah, shut your fu–*HUK* fuckin' trap," I shoved her away. Hearing Liv's name reminded me, though, and I looked around. "Hey, an–*EEP* anybody know where Susie's *UCK* at?"

"She's been hanging out on the stairs," Mandy sighed. "I tried to get her to be a bit more into it, but I couldn't even get her to take off her hoodie."

"Take off her ho–*OOP* hoodie? What kinda slut d–*HUK* do you take her for?" I gave Mandy a quick punch on the arm. "Well, if an–*EEK* anyone can get her into the pa–*HURP* party, it's me. Wish me luck, girls, *HMK*, this one's on hard mode." Once I'd had my luck wished, I made my way over to the stairwell and saw Susie, in fact, sitting right in the middle of the stairs. It was hard to tell from inside of her hood, but I thought she might have seen me first. Either way, I knew I'd caught her eye. "Hey! Hey Susi–*EEK* Pfft. Fuck, I sound so fu–*HUK* fucking stupid."

"Uh...hey, Maya." Her voice was a little uncertain, which I wasn't sure what to make of, but she had spent the whole night a little unmoored, so maybe not the most surprising thing in the world. "Aren't you supposed to be licking someone's tonsils right about now?"

"What, you offerin'?" Even from in her hood, I could see her face go redder, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Don't even wo–*HURK* worry about it, Susi–*EEP*. Susie Q. I got a–*UCK* all the time in the world *HUP* to give out pro-bono de–*HNK* dental exams."

"Wow. And I thought the way I phrased that was gross."

I sat down on the stair right above Susie, trapping her between my legs. She twisted to try and see me so fast that her hood didn't move with her head, which was kind of hilarious. Laughing didn't help with my hiccups, but if anyone wouldn't mind, I figured it was probably Liv's best friend. Either way, I rested my head on top of hers and flopped my arms over her shoulders. I didn't actually put much weight on her. Given how goddamn tiny she was, I didn't know how much she could handle. But there was something weirdly comfortable about how her hoodie felt under my chin. I could see why Liv did this so much, even though they had enough of a height difference that she had to lean over to do it if they were both standing. "But an–*EEP* way, you enjoying the pa–*UHP* party, hot stuff?"

Susie's head moved under her hood, and after a second, I was able to figure out that she was looking out at the dance floor. "I've heard more songs that I like than I expected to."

"Re–*HEEP*–eally?" I wished I could see through her hood and get a look at her face. "Aren't you one of those pri–*HIC*–ks that only listens to screamo 'cause ev–*HUP* everything else is too mainstre–*EEP*–eam?"

She shook underneath me, and it took me a second to realize she was chuckling. "Nah. I just play one of those on TV. I mean, don't get me wrong, everything else is too mainstream, but I'm not such a sad-sack that I'll pretend I don't like Queen. I'm also not too good for all the gay anthems made by straight women."

"Heeyyy, you're dru–*UCK* drunk enough to admit you're not a pre–*HIP* pretentious dickface!" As I said that, I realized that I was a complete idiot, and I moved out in front of Susie and grabbed her hands. Of course this was the way to get her into the party. "Hey, *HUK* if you like the mus–*IC* then why don't you come and da–*UCK* dance with me?"

It was easy to pull her to her feet (and I was still taller than her from a stair below. Goddamn, she was short), but her face was red and her eyes had gone wide. "Uh! Not, uh...not sure that's the, uh...best idea."

"Why the fu–*HUCK* not?"

"Uh..." She looked away and didn't come up with anything.

Fuck. I was too drunk for this. Liv said she was able to say if something was wrong, right? "Okay, look. *HMK*. I'm gonna bring you ou–*HUP* out on the floor, kay? *HMK* If you wanna stop, just say. Sound good?"

After a few long moments, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, then opened them and nodded. She looked...weirdly innocent staring up at me like that. Especially with how flushed her face was. "Okay, yeah. Yeah, I can...yeah. That works. That sounds good."

"Awesome!" Victory! I grabbed her and dragged her down the stairs and out onto the floor between other sweaty bodies, maneuvering us close to as many cute girls as I could. Susie danced like an alien who'd only ever had gravity explained to them once, but at least people would barely feel it if she stepped on their toes. Eventually, I had to take a little more control. I grabbed her from behind and pulled her back against me, bending my knees into hers and putting her butt right up on my crotch. "Hey, Fred Ast–*UCK*–staire. Anyone ever tell y–*HOOP* that you dance like you're alr–*UP* already doing it backward in h–*EEK* heels?"

"Uh..." Her voice was weird and shaky again, even more than last time. Her body was still moving to the beat of the music, though, and I couldn't deny that that felt nice. "Literally nobody, but that's not exactly surp-prising." She stuttered, and I realized that my hiccups were seriously shaking her up. I'd never noticed just how much they moved my gut and my boobs.

"You know, not ev–*URK* every gay guy or queer folk's *HMK* gotta go to the clubs. *HUP*. It's not a requirement. *HMK-mmp*" I felt her nod underneath me. The idea that she was not that kind of gay wasn't exactly surprising. 

...but her coming here with makeup on meant that she wanted to try it. And I didn't want her first time to just suck and completely put her off getting drunk and having fun.

So I leaned in closer, pulling her tighter back against me while my head was on her shoulder so I could whisper in her ear. "But if you wann–*UCK* wanna be that kind of gay, I could he–*ULP* help you learn how to d–*HOOK* do it." I ran a finger up from the fly of her jeans to the base of her belly under her hoodie and she breathed in sharply. "I've heard I'm a pre–*HIP* pretty good teacher. *HMK*. And sure, I'm a lil' dru–*HUK* drunk right now. But I fi–*HIG*–guuuure that if an–*HEEK* anyone wouldn't mind me havin' the hic–*HULP*–s it'd be you."

"Fuck!" Susie suddenly wrenched her way out of my arms and whipped around to face me. Her face was so fucking red. Even though her hood was still on, it couldn't hide it at all. Her pupils looked huge, and her eyes were wider than I'd ever seen them before she slammed them shut. "S-sorry!" And before I even knew what was happening, she'd bolted off of the dance floor.

My brain took way too long to catch up with reality. "Shit, Sus–*EEK*! Susie!" And I ran off in the same direction she did.

After searching for ten minutes and finding absolutely fucking nothing, I was getting really scared, especially since she wasn't responding to my texts. Fuck, this was not how I wanted to spend my night. But my two brain cells were able to hook up long enough for me to realize that Susie wasn't the only person I could text.

Maya: Liv Liv I fucked up Susie ran off and I dunno where the fuck she is Wait Please fucking tell me she's with you

Liv: No, she's not with me. She'll definitely tell me where she is though. Give me a minute. While I'm texting her, you can tell me what happened.

Maya: Okay fuck Thanks dude Gotta be real tho I dunno quite what happened I mean I got a guess But I was tryina dance with her and teach her how to do the thing and all a sudden she just fuckin hoofs it

Liv: This'll seem like a weird question. Did you have the hiccups?

Maya: uh Yeah How the fuck did u know that?

Liv: You didn't do anything wrong, then. But I'm not allowed to get more specific. So instead of doing that, I'll tell you that Susanna's hiding in the unisex bathroom in Liberty Hall's entry area.

Maya: wut What the actual fuck is she doing there?

Liv: Hiding.

Okay, this shit was officially driving me fucking crazy. Liv was still texting me, but I shoved my phone back into my pocket anyway and started running for the hall. I was sick and fucking tired of being confused about these two, and especially about Susie.

Once I got to Liberty Hall, the fact that my hiccups echoed through the whole empty building was funny enough to cool me down a little bit, but I was still pissed. So I stomped over to the bathroom and banged on the door. "Hey. Sus–*EEK*. Wanna tell me–*HEEP* what the fu–*HUCK* you're doing in there?"

After long enough that I started wondering if she'd already left, I finally heard her voice. "Not particularly, no."

Fuck, that was an annoying answer. "We–*UCK* well too fuckin' bad, pal! *HULP* 'Cause my ass ain't *HUK* leavin' until I g–*HUP* get some answers."

After a few long moments, I heard a weird sound from inside. "Yeah, that—" her voice stopped in a very weird way and sounded tenser than I'd ever heard it. "That makes sense."

I wasn't not angry, but I was getting more and more worried. "What the fuck, dude? *HMLK* Are you o–*KUP* okay? Why are you hiding in a g---goddamn bathroom?" I sucked at telling time at the best of times, and right now I had no idea how long I'd waited for her to respond except that it was too fucking long. "Look, do I ne–*HEEK* need to get Liv he–*URK* here or what?"

"No." I heard her sigh, though it was cut oddly short. "She's not—" Her voice kept hitching. "She's not gonna help."

"Since fucking when? A–*URK* Aren't you two li–*HUK* like, married or somethi–*IC*–ing?"

"I'm not saying that she couldn't or she wouldn't want to. She's just not gonna. She says this is something I need to do myself." Something like a laugh came through the door. "And she's probably right. She's definitely right. But...fuck, not everyone's like her. Nobody's like her. And she just doesn't get that."

"...*HULP* Okay, whatever the fu–*HUK* this is, I'm way too dru---drunk for it. Give me a minute to *HNK* get some fuckin' water."

"That's probably a good idea, yeah. There's a fountain right nearby."

I did go over to the fountain and drink a bunch of water, I wasn't lying when I said that. But I also pulled out the phone to see what the fuck Liv had texted me.

Maya: wut What the actual fuck is she doing there?

Liv: Hiding. It's infuriating when she gets like this. You're probably going to want to be gentle with her anyway, though. This is one of those times where she's actually sensitive instead of having her walls up constantly. So being rough with her probably won't get things to happen any sooner.

Maya: ...shit. Olivia what the fuck am I doing?

Liv: I don't know. I'm being literal there. I don't know what you're doing. And I can't know that. I know you mean that more existentially, but I don't know that either.

Maya: Fuck why couldnt someone else do this? Why couldnt literally anyone else fucking do this? Im too fucking drunk for this! Im too fucking stupid for this! Im too much of a pissed fucking dickhead who hurts people for this!

Liv: No you're not. You're honestly perfect for this.

Maya: what

Liv: I'm serious.

Maya: I fuckin know that liv your always fucking serious

Liv: *you're

Maya: Fuck you I just What? How in the fuck am I perfect for this? I'm a dumb drunk slut!

Liv: The middle part isn't ideal. But everything else about you is perfect for Susanna to finally tell somebody else her secret.

Maya: her secret? That weird context that you always say you cant talk about?

Liv: Yeah.

Maya: you think im perfect for that?

Liv: About as much as anyone can be.

Maya: Wait hang on Are you tellin me that literally nobody else knows about whatever the fuck you're talking about?

Liv: If they do, it's not because she told them. Honestly, when she finally does tell you (which she'd better do tonight) it'll be really nice to have someone else to talk to about it. At this point, she's texting me to just tell you it, but I'm not going to. She has to do this herself.

Maya: Why?

Liv: A lot of reasons. But the main one right now is because if she doesn't, she won't be able to see how you react right away. Her brain will fill up the space that creates with some sort of illogical bullshit about why I somehow tricked you into acting like exactly the person you are about it.

Maya: Shit you thought a lot about this.

Liv: Of course I have. I love her.

Maya: No fuckin kidding dude. Okay Wish me fuckin luck with whatever this shit is I guess

Liv: Just be yourself. That's exactly who she needs right now.

There were almost zero situations where I was sure I would be exactly who someone needed, and there were a negative number of situations where I'd actually want that to be true, but...well, shit, I was already in it, wasn't I? Like a very wise listicle said, don't pregame if you're not down to party. Don't...flirt with the repressed girl if you're not ready to...do emotion management through a door? I'd workshop it.

Either way, I walked back to the bathroom and knocked on the door again. "Hey. I'm back."

"Yeah. You are." There was a long, dumb stretch where neither of us said anything. Eventually she was the one to talk. "You didn't do anything wrong, Maya."

"Liv said that too, but if I didn't do anything wrong, then what the fuck are we doing here instead of back at Queer House?"

I heard Susie sigh through the door again. "We're here because I'm weird and fucked up."

"Bruh, we're on a women's rugby team. We're all weird and fucked up."

Something thudded against the door. It didn't sound hard enough to be someone punching it or something, but I wasn't sure what other option there was. "I'm weird and fucked up in specific ways. Ways that'll..." There were three smaller thuds and I realized that she was banging her head against the door. "...ways that'll make you think I'm creepy. And that I'm a terrible person. And that I absolutely shouldn't spend time around Olivia."

That sentence hit my brain like it'd just walked in front of a truck. "Wait, what? What the fuck? No! I mean, no, what?" I shook my head. "Okay, those first two are fucking stupid, we can get to that later, but who the fuck would think that you and Liv shouldn't be together? Like, even if I was someone who got to make that kind of decision for either of you, no? Liv loves you, dude! Literally! I was literally just texting her and she said 'I love her'! And 'her' is definitely you!"

"I know." She laughed again. Her laugh was always quiet, but right now I could only just barely hear it. "I know she loves me. That's the only way that the past five years of my life make any fucking sense. And...and I love her too. But if people knew the truth about me, they'd say that I was a gross freak taking advantage of an autistic girl."

"'Taking advantage of'—fucking what?" I shook my head again, then stopped when that made it hurt like a bitch. "Nobody who's ever fucking met you would think that. Like...fuckin' spend two seconds around you two and it's pretty goddamn clear who's wearing the pants in this relationship. Spoilers: it's the one that sometimes wears skirts."

She laughed a little louder. "I mean, yeah, I know that. I know that that's not actually what it is. Olivia's made that, uh...pretty fucking clear. And she'd be happy to do it again if she needed to. I don't know why, but...she is. She's amazing." There was another goddamn sigh. "I don't know if anyone as amazing as her exists. That's what makes this so scary."

Well, shit. What was I supposed to do now, say that I actually was as amazing as Liv? She wouldn't fucking fall for that. Nobody would. So what else could I do? How the fuck did you deal with someone this pessimistic? Was I supposed to fucking get on her level or something?

...actually, yeah, I could do that. That could work. "Okay, lemme put it to you like this: What's the worst thing I could possibly do if you told me whatever the fuck this is?"

"Report me to campus police for sexual harassment and get me expelled."

"Sexual harass—what? Dude, I was the one who was grinding on your ass, not the other way around! You think I'm drunk enough to get confused about that? No, fuck that and fuck you. And also fuck cops. Now what's the second worst thing I could do?"

It took her a minute to get back to me. "I, uh...okay. Um, second worst thing you could do would be...to tell my parents?"

"I don't know your parents. Third worst thing."

"That doesn't mean that you couldn't—"

"Third. Worst. Thing."

I could hear something moving on the other side of the door, but I didn't have a fucking clue what she was doing. "Okay, uh...third worst. I guess...you could tell everyone my secret so they all know what a freak I am?"

"Jesus fucking Christ," I rolled my eyes. "Okay, how long's the last dick I sucked?"

"...I beg your fucking pardon?"

The way she said that made me laugh, which was kind of annoying since I was trying to be serious here. "Right, you don't know. And who's into me using a strap-on on them? Lemme guess; you don't know that either. Do more people call me 'mommy' or 'daddy'? Imagine the jeopardy theme playing out here. Ding-ding-ding, time's up, you don't fucking know. You don't know any of that shit, do you?"

"...no. I guess I don't."

"Yeah. You fucking don't. You don't even know the names of a lot of people I sleep with. Because I don't fucking talk about 'em unless I know they're cool with that." I huffed. "I may be a dumb slut, but I'm not a fucking narc."

"You're not a dumb slu—..."

Susie's voice stopped in a completely different way from how it did earlier. And god dammit, she made me laugh again. "It's okay, dude, I wouldn't be able to finish that sentence either."

"...you're not dumb."

"Thaaat's more like it." She was still wrong, but eh, I'd take it.

"Yeah." She took a while to say anything else. "I, uh...I knew those weren't super realistic, but...you know. It's still nice to have them gone. And...with that out of the way, the main thing I can think of is just that you'd hate me and everything would be awkward."

"Dude, if I make things awkward, it'll be on purpose." I heard her snort, and it made me smile. "And if I'm gonna hate you, I'll do it for something more interesting than whatever the fuck this is."

"...Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like you. Maya, could you, uh..." Susie's voice trailed off, then I heard something rock against the door. After some noises from the other side, I heard the deadbolt, and then the door opened and Susie was there.

Susie was there with her hoodie off. Susie was there with her mascara in lines all down her face. Susie was there in a tank top with a rainbow flag that said "The gays can do whatever they want". Even though I knew I shouldn't, I snorted. "Why the fuck were you wearing your hoodie over that? That's great."

She smiled. It was small, but it felt pretty real. "I like it too. And that's...yeah, that's a good question. Uh..." she pulled back and held the door open. "Would you, uh...come in here with me?" I shrugged and walked through, then leaned back against the tile wall. Susie closed the door, looked at the lock, then shook her head and left it alone. I could see her hoodie crumpled up on the floor between the door and the wall. She walked over and stood in front of me, and I couldn't believe how small she looked. "It, uh...it might take me a minute to...to work up the courage. To say it."

Fuck, I hated waiting. I made myself smile anyway. "Just as long as you say it, dude."

Susie nodded, then took a slow, deep breath. Her face very quickly started going red. "So, uh...so." She swallowed. "The reason I ran away from you at the party was because I was...really fucking turned on."

"...bruh, that was the point."

"I mean—" Susie smacked her forehead, and I snorted again. "Okay, fuck. I mean, yeah, fair. But it wasn't really...I mean it was and it wasn't, but it..."

"Dude, I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about right now."

"Right, of course you don't." She covered her face with both hands. "Fuck, I'm just gonna have to say it out loud, aren't I?"

"Probably. I'm still kinda drunk. And not super in the mood for riddles."

"Okay." Susie pulled her hands down and clenched her fists. She glared down at my feet like they owed her money. "Okay. Okay." She took one more deep, annoying breath. "So I was turned on already. Before you started dancing with me. I was really turned on. But it wasn't by anything you were doing on purpose."

"If you tell me you were charming some other chick and let me pull you away from that, I'm fuckin' killing you."

"No, no," she did that weird one-off laugh thing she did sometimes. "Nah. Nothing like that. You were the one who was turning me on. But not on purpose."

"...okaaaaaaaay?"

"Fffuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Okay." She shut her eyes. With how hard she'd been glaring, I was surprised that she didn't somehow laser vision through her own eyelids. "Okay. I was...I was turned on because...b-because..." Her teeth were clenched together hard enough that I was kinda worried that she'd break them. "B-because you had the hiccups!"

She said that loud enough that it echoed in the bathroom, then immediately pulled her fists up to cover her eyes. But I was just confused. "You were turned on...because I had the hiccups." She nodded. "Okay. So, uh...what's the secret?"

Susie pulled her fists away and stared at me. "...what?"

"You were turned on by my hiccups and then...what. What's the deep dark secret?"

"Tha—" She turned around and looked behind her like there was some other Susie for me to be talking to. "That...that is the secret!"

I could feel my jaw going slack. "That's the secret?"

"Yes!" She covered her eyes again. "And I know that it's fucking weird and gross and I shouldn't—"

"Bro, you thought I'd be offended that you were turned on by me?"

Susie stopped talking and her fists slowly fell off of her eyes. She still stared at the floor, but the look on her face was turning less terrified and more confused. "Well, it sounds really stupid when you put it like that."

"That's 'cause it is really stupid, dude. Susie, what the fuck? Is this your big fucking secret?"

"I mean, not completely. Because it's...it's not just your hiccups, it's everyone's." She was glaring at a wall now. "I...I have a hiccup fetish. That's the secret."

"...well what the fuck am I supposed to do with that, Susie? I thought I was gonna have to help bury a body somewhere, but instead you're just flipping out over some weird cute sex thing?" I slapped myself internally for calling it weird.

Susie's head whipped up and she finally looked me in the eyes. "...'cute'?"

"Okay, not the word I thought you were gonna have a problem with there, but yeah. Cute."

"Not...creepy?"

"No? Why the fuck would it be creepy?" I seriously meant that question. Why would it be creepy?

She grabbed her upper arm with the other hand, gripping it way too tight. "You don't...you don't think that I'm just using Olivia?"

"'Just usi—' the fuck? Susie, what in the actual fuck is wrong with you? You think that I think you're 'just using' someone who you threatened to beat a stranger with a bong for?" Every time I got her to laugh, I felt just a little bit better about...everything really. "Jesus, Sue, you flipped out this hard over this? Why?"

"Because it's...weird." She had her arms crossed and had gone back to staring down walls. "It's weird. And it's something people don't have control over. So I'm getting turned on by something people can't help doing."

"...so?"

Susie stared up at me. "So that's...bad?"

I stared right back at her. "Uh...no? No, that's not bad. That's...okay, one, do you think that I chose to have boobs this fucking bodacious?" The shocked laugh that got made me grin. "Do you think I chose to be a total fucking sex bomb with a body that can go all night? I mean, I've put some effort into parts of that, but these titties just happened. And all kinds of people get turned on by that. But, uh, two, it's weird that you get turned on by a thing that a human body does? No! You think that fuckin' neolithic cavemen were going around imagining shit like latex and high heels while they jacked it? No! But liking those is normal as shit! So you're not fucking weird, the world's the weird ones. You're just old-fashioned or something."

Susie was squinting at me. "That is...the weirdest fucking argument I've ever heard." Honestly, it was probably the weirdest fucking argument I'd ever made.

I decided not to say that out loud. "Weirder than being into hiccups, maybe?" The minute I said the word, her whole face burned and I couldn't help arching my eyebrows. "Whoa. Shit, you weren't kidding, huh? You're seriously into that."

"Y-yeah. Yeah. With Olivia I've gotten enough exposure that I can kinda deal, but it..." She huffed. "It's a lot."

"Alright. So," I sat down on the tile floor. "What do you like about 'em?"

"...wuh?"

"Oh come the fuck on, Susie," I slapped the floor in front of me between her feet. "You can't seriously fucking think you can say a thing like 'I'm super into hiccups' and then not tell me how that works, right?"

"You...wanna know?" She looked seriously, actually confused as she sat down in front of me.

"Uh, yeah, duh." I looked at her, then decided I could push a bit and smiled. "How else am I gonna know how I should flirt with you?" Her back went dead straight and she stared at me, her whole face looking like it was about to light on fire. I just barely kept myself from laughing, but how long she went without blinking kind of worried me. "You, uh...you good dude?"

"You wanna...flirt with me too? L-like...turning me on?"

"...thought that'd be pretty obvious by now, but yeah."

"Why?"

"What a stupid fucking—" I cut myself off. Susie may have needed "me" right now (and I was finally starting to get why Liv had said that), but she needed the nicest me I was able to give her. So I smiled at her again, and I reached out and touched her cute, blushy face. "It's 'cause I like you, dumbass. I like you. I think you're interesting. I wanna know more about you."

I actually gasped when I felt her hand touch the back of mine while I cupped her cheek. I'd been too lost staring at her to notice her moving.

...shit, this was more serious than I thought it was.

It got even more serious when she put her hand completely over mine, holding it against her cheek and leaning into my palm. Her eyes closed for a second before she opened them again and stared at me. "You really do?"

"Yeah. I really do." That was...scarier to admit than it should have been. And my heart was going faster than it should. "I know I like Liv. And I know she loves you. I wanna see the person she loves." Shit, what was I saying? I swallowed, and my mouth just kept going. "I've already seen the person you love. I already know Liv. But I wanna see the other side too. Of course I wanna know you."

...fuck. Fuck, I had feelings.

Fuck, I had feelings for this couple.

I really fucking wanted to watch them be...them.

Shit, this could be a problem.

"I..." Susie managed to surprise me again. She was staring up at me, and fuck, her eyes were way too fucking pretty and brown. "I think I wanna know you too, Maya. And...and I think I even...would like it if you knew me."

I could feel myself laughing. I could also feel myself leaning closer to her. "That works pretty well for me, Sue."

"I don't really know what I'm doing."

"That's fine." I didn't really know what the fuck I was doing either.

"I've never...I've never actually dated anyone."

"I'll teach you." It'd been a while since I'd "dated" anyone too. But fuck, I wanted to. And we just kept getting closer and closer.

"I..." I could feel her breath on my face as she tilted her head in my hand. "I'm scared, Maya."

"I know." I was scared too. But... "But Liv told me you could be brave."

Our bodies were close enough that I felt hers shake as she laughed. I felt the air of each chuckle puff against me. "Yeah. Yeah, she tells me that too. And..." She took one more breath, "and maybe she's right."

She kissed my lips.

That fucking bastard. She kissed my fucking lips.

She had no idea what she was doing.

I was gonna teach her. I was gonna teach her everything.

Fuck, how did this happen? How did I get in this deep this quick? How had I ended up catching feelings again?

Was I gonna be okay?

Susie kissed me again, and for the rest of the night, it didn't really seem like it mattered that much.

[scaly-freaks]

I love love love dark stories. I don’t know why but they just itch my brain perfectly. Your stories I swear are thoughts I’ve had (let’s not get into that) and written out in a way I couldn’t fully conceive.

I’ve been practicing some writing just as a hobby and I think for me to write dark stories it feels like I need to fully cross a wall of some sort to out those thoughts on paper. Not sure how to overcome it but I’m trying.

But yeah idk why but the sadder and more brutal a story is the better and I think it’s because on an emotional level I can just connect with it if that makes sense?

Anyways this is just a long winded way of me saying that I love your work and appreciate the effort you put into fleshing out characters and having us connect with them in that way. (I also love sappy moments too but idk with dark stories they feel earned in a way like we worked for it and achieved a short lived reprieve)

Also just a quick little question, how would an interaction between Daemon and Amara go? This is gonna sound terrible but when you mentioned the stepdad au my mind went to him before our Egg boy.

No because...same. I write dark stories and revel in them the way people revel in comfort media. I understand them, and the necessity of finding light amidst the darkness is something I've lived with all my life so familiarity breeds comfort in me. Sometimes I get a little startled because someone will read what I wrote and be like wtf how does this happen? How is it ever allowed to happen? And I'm like yeah...why did that happen to me? Why was it allowed to happen? But then I turn off the switch and dive back into fiction to cope (as I think many people who create art out of trauma will profess to - it's a way of distancing yourself but acknowledging it).

That wall (I know what you mean) will be crossed eventually I think. Just stay aware that it's not a wall you want to cross often or live beyond all the time. It's somewhere to retreat to, but always remember to climb over it and return to the other side otherwise it can get too much.

Thank you so much for this ask though, it makes me feel so seen and appreciated. I often worry that I'm upsetting people with how abjectly miserable my work can get, and force myself to lighten it up so it'll be more palatable. But the AU idea I posted yesterday named 'fuck puppet' is mostly what I write well and consistently (Amara does kill him in the end, so there's no romanticisation there, it's just pure victim vs abuser, beast vs human, and she wins).

And HMMM okay, so if you asked me about Daemon and Amara two years ago, I'd be like ew no. He really irritated me as a character when everyone was defending him, but the defence of him as stopped being as cloying and the writers have dug into the pathetic aspects of his nature more so I'm open to exploring him.

Plus, ironically whenever he interacted with Amara in my fics even when I hated him, there were readers who pointed out that there was sexual tension there (which I didn't even intend!) So clearly, there'd be something there, what with her daddy issues and his ability to appear put together and intelligent in front of a much younger woman.

I think where it takes Aegon longer to identify Amara's childishness and immaturity (because his own outshines hers a lot of the time), Daemon would snap at it in an instant. Eventually, Aegon gets there and is like okay, my turn to take care of you but Daemon reaches the destination immediately and does softer things to figure out whether she sees him in a remotely romantic/sexual way. So maybe a gentle hand on her waist to move her aside, resting it on the small of her back to comfort her (but only for a second) or giving her that odd little smile when she's yapping that has a twinkle of endearment in it. I think she'd fall for it pretty fast, and get a kick out of all her friends being disgusted by the idea of her having sex with an 'old man' (because obviously to them he is). She doesn't see it as exploitation, and she doesn't have to. When she's in his bed for entire weekends and he's using every trick in his extensive book of sexual tricks on her, she barely has time to think never mind wonder if this is right. I think he probably would need Viagra though bc canon Daemon strikes me as the type to wear out pretty fast, but Amara would be the insatiable party and well...there we go.

Anyway, over time, she is a little flighty, and her friends' constant judgement does weigh on her, along with the fact that Daemon's immaturity isn't like her immaturity. He's still ahead of her in experience. He can gaslight her into believing his pettiness is actually adult wisdom. So if he doesn't like her hanging out with boys her own age, he'll cut at her intelligence and make her feel diminished and stupid for thinking those boys could possibly want her for anything more than sex. And she'd fully believe him. She'd probably be reduced to tears after screaming at him for being a dickhead, and then accept his palm caressing her face telling her it's fine, and that he didn't mean it, and has she seen herself? She's so beautiful, anyone would want her. He just loves her and is worried someone will take advantage. And then that of course leads to sex and her feeling relieved Daemon cares so much and giving him everything she's got to make sure he feels the pleasure in return. Thus, the whole cycle starts again.

I can't believe I'm saying this but...Aegon might just have to be the rescuer in this situation LMAO. Daemon would not let her go easily.

[sevicia]

My mom's started to notice how obedient I am to my sister and it's humiliating. "Why do you let her speak to you like that? You always listen to her instead of me" it's obvious now because that day they thought I was dying I only moved once my sister yelled at me, and I barely remember any of it.

It's humiliating because it's a reflex. It's not like I don't have my own will, it's not like it's weak, it's just that I can't go against her without feeling like I'll be punished for throwing a tantrum. That feeling overrides everything else.

I have no idea what I'd do if my mom ever asked me directly about it, because I know she'd blame her. I guess it started because of her, but that means they'd start fighting like crazy again and my sister would start feeling like our parents don't care about her again. Maybe telling my mom would help me feel better somehow, maybe it'd help start fixing things even though it seems impossible, but the possibility of both her and our dad turning against my sister is more than enough for me to avoid talking about it as much as possible.

There's also the fact that everyone's just gonna call me a coward and a pushover for never being able to stand up to her. I guess that's true, but it's still awful to think about being seen for what I am in such an explicit way.

Frustrating because I know for a fact it's my fault I still feel like this today. I mean, I'm better than I was 1 or 2 years ago, back then I agreed with everything she said and hid anything I thought might make her dislike me because I felt like the scum of the earth every time she got annoyed or called me stupid. I couldn't help bawling my eyes out, which I've never been able to do properly since we've always shared a room, I'm always quiet. I really wish I could just cry like a kid even just once, but I don't think I'll ever be able to.

It's my fault that I'm still like this because changing is on me. It's something no one else can ever do for me, but I'm so deep in it I know I'll die like this. I know other people have had way worse relationships with their siblings when they were kids, and they're nowhere near this level of messed up about it. I don't think "I didn't have it THAT bad" is a valid excuse, but I do think I should've gotten over it already. I just never noticed how sensitive I was because I've always had to be so quiet.

I hate that I'm like this because of something I should've gotten over by now. I hate that I can't tell anyone, but most of all I hate that I can't say it to her face because I love her so much. She's cried while telling me about how sorry she is and how guilty she feels for messing up my childhood like that, so I tell her it's okay. I don't feel okay about it, but I can't ever blame her for any of it since we were both kids. She doesn't know just how much it's affected me, whatever effect she thinks she had on me is not nearly comparable to how I've felt my whole life.

I tell her it's fine. What else am I gonna tell her? I've seen her cry out of guilt. I couldn't live with myself if I ever made her cry like that again. I resent her so much, I can't help it. It's so ugly. I have these moments where I wish she'd just die, that she'd just disappear from my life and my head one day, then I'd be free to act on my own, but thinking that way just makes me hate myself even more. It's just so disgusting, I can't stand it.

I'm going to die feeling like this. It will never leave me. I can't let it go, I don't know what'd happen if I tried. I don't want her to ever worry about anything. The way people treat her sometimes makes me sick. The way she talks to me most of the time makes me wanna vomit.

She loves me, I don't doubt this for a second. If she ever found out I feel like this, she'd call me an idiot for not telling her sooner. I can't stand the thought of that. I hate it when people do that, I don't understand it and I doubt I ever will. I don't understand why it's so important that I report on what I'm feeling whenever someone wants to "help" me, based on their own metrics. It doesn't do any good. If I said any of this out loud, I'd just start crying and make it look like it's the most horrible thing to ever happen to anyone, I just don't see the point. It achieves nothing. Feeling better is not guaranteed, and even if it was it would still amount to nothing.

I hate crying because it just feels so pathetic. I don't think it makes me weak or anything like that, it's just embarrassing to act so dramatic, especially when I'm known to never cry unless it's from laughing or watching a movie or a show or something like that. It's shallow, but I'm also aware of how much more repulsive I look when I cry. I looked in the mirror once while I cried, and the disgust made me stop, wash my face and go back to being a normal person immediately. It was different to how my stomach usually drops when I see my face. It felt like something was actually wrong with my body.