#and i tried to get her to guess What would happen but she didn't.

[semisslave]

♡ Give me your sound, making your song going loud... ♡

Contents: WLW, Dom!Se-mi x Sub!R, Guitarist!Se-mi x Singer!R, Smut

Warnings: Smut, degradation (kinda), praise, strap sex, fingering

You were part of an independent band called "The Roselights." You were their lead singer. Your band wasn't quite popular but had some fans. Your band aesthetic was quite girly and pinkish, especially you, being the lead singer.

Your band had a "rival" band, which was quite the opposite of yours. "Lost kisses" was an independent rock band that also had a small fan base like yours, and they kept fighting among each other. Both bands always suffered with comparisons between them since they were both indie rock bands but quite different. Lost kisses had a very dark aesthetic, very different from yours.

You couldn't deny that their music was good, but something was better than the music. Their lead guitar, Se-mi, was quite popular outside the band. She had 50k followers on Instagram just because she was gorgeous (something you couldn't deny). You tried to talk to her some times but she and her band mates were very rude and cold, that's one of the reasons why your band and theirs don't get along.

You and your band decided to enter an independent bands competition were the winner had the chance to sign with a big record label, of course you weren't missing this opportunity, but guess who wasn't either...

The competition was held in a concert place where people could watch and vote online for their favorite band at the end of the presentations. There weren't judges, so you had to make your biggest effort to connect with the audience and convince them to vote you.

Your band had to play right after Lost Kisses, which made you more nervous already.

You thought it wasn't fair because Se-mi was more popular than her band, and that would benefit them. Some girls even threw her bra to the stage while Se-mi's band was performing.

When they end, the announcer calls your band out, and you prepare yourself to go, but Se-mi grabs your wrist and whispers to your ear in a low voice...

"Good luck, pretty girl."

How the fuck were you supposed to concentrate after she said that? It was clearly part of her plan, fuck her.

"Now, welcome to... The Roselights"

You stood on stage and gave the best of you, hitting notes you didn't even know you were able to and expressing every lyric perfectly, making the public feel the song with you.

After the presentation, you and your band went to the backstage where there was only one person... Se-mi. The other bands where in the other room waiting for them to be called or already left since the results were going to be announced the next day. You looked at Se-mi confused while your other band mates started grabbing their things to leave.

"That was a great show... You actually surprised me ___" Said Se-mi with a smirk and playing with her lip piercing.

"What do you want?" You asked annoyed, your band mates were already leaving, each one by their own.

"I just wanted to congratulate you... Is that illegal?" She said faking innocence while you sighed

"I know you're not here just for that. You really expect me to believe you suddenly changed and now you're kind?"

"Now that everyone is gone, I can tell you my true intentions... You looked really sexy on stage, you know?"

You blushed at her comment. What was she saying? "Thanks, I guess..."

"You could say the same about me."

"I don't think you need my words, I mean... You had people throwing their underwear at you."

"But I don't care about them... They're not pretty as you." She said taking steps closer to you. Her height towering you as she slid a hand on your waist.

You were speechless, what the fuck was happening? Is this another wet dream you had with her?

Suddenly, she kissed you. You didn't pull away, how could you? You wrapped your arms around her neck while her pierced tongue was exploring your mouth. God, she was experienced.

Se-mi then, hearing the other band finished their performance, pulled you and her bag into a bathroom to continue what you both already started.

She started undressing you slowly while kissing you, taking off your black jacket, then your pink dress, leaving you only in your pink underwear and you black large boots that never took off.

She started caressing your clothed pussy as she felt the wet stain in your panties.

"God, so wet already, and only for kissing? You're such a slut." She said with a smirk in her face, placing you on the counter of the bathroom.

She pulled your panties aside and slides two fingers in your pussy. You moan as you feel them inside of you, the cold rings making you more sensitive.

"Fuck, S-se-mi~" You moaned as you felt her fingers moving inside of you, hitting that sweet spot.

While fingering you, Se-mi grabbed her bag, taking a 8 inch black strap out of it.

Your eyes widened at the sight of it, how was that going to fit?

"You look scared, I'll be gentle, at first..." She says while putting the strap on.

You moaned, almost screamed when you felt it inside of you, stretching you out.

"Oh, Se-mi!~"

You moaned as she pounded into you

"You look so pretty when you're made a mess..." Said Se-mi while she pounded into you harder

"Oh, yes, yes~" You moaned as Se-mi fucked you dumb

"You're taking me so well, keep doing it..."

You moan feeling closer to your release.

"I wish I had a cock and I could feel how tight you are..." Said Se-mi with a smirk on her face.

"I-I'm close~" You gasped as you felt closer to the edge

"That's great, good girl..."

"S-se-mi!~" You screamed her name as you came.

Se-mi keep pounding, making your orgasm last longer as you moaned and gasped desperately.

When she finally pulls out, you, with shaky legs, adjust yourself a bit on the counter while Se-mi takes off her strap, putting it in front of you.

"Lick it clean" She says codly

You, completely fucked dumb, obediently lick the strap

"Such a good slut..."

Se-mi cleaned you up and helped you get dressed, something you didn't expect her to do but she felt really caring at that moment. She helped you to get out and even brought you home. You smiled as you layed on your bed, you forgot everything about the competition, your mind was only thinking about Se-mi right now. Were you developing feelings for a member of the rival band? Your band mates would be so disappointed... Well, fuck them, it's your life. Does she feel the same? If she doesn't, why would she fuck me and take care of me like she did? Your mind was flooded with questions.

You got a message

"Tomorrow, you could say that you've been fucked with a winner" It was Se-mi

You totally forgot about the competition, you couldn't sleep all night thinking about Se-mi and the competition...

Part 2? (This is my first time writing theseee😭💗)

[blackcoldcrackedheart]

I guess this is another what if/continuation.

Tommy felt ridiculous on checking in on Evan. But the guy hadn't answered his phone since letting Tommy know that he was being discharged from the hospital and his girlfriend, Ali, would be taking him home.

Tommy tried to not feel a pang of jealousy at that. He knew Buck had a girlfriend and was straight. Yes, he was an "ally" but it sort of stung since Tommy thought they had clicked when they first met in Evan's hospital room.

He thought Evan liked him, but it was clearly wishful thinking on Tommy's part. A part of him knew he should just be grateful that Evan still wanted to be friends with him after Tommy had told Evan that he was gay.

(Carla was weirdly supportive of Tommy being friends with Evan still, "I just think Buck and you could learn a lot from each other." She had told him nonchalantly after he had told her he felt weird continuing their friendship with all the Abby and looming feelings Tommy had for Evan.)

He knocked in Evan's apartment door, "Evan?"

No answer.

"Hey, Evan? Are you in there?" The fear and worry got to him, Evan wasn't answering his calls or texts and now he wasn't answering. If Ali was with him, then surely she would answer the door.

It was daring and infringing on Evan's personal space but he was genuinely worried; Tommy checked to see if the door was locked.

It wasn't.

"Evan?"

He had never been to Evens apartment, but he wasn't expecting the large airy industrial loft. He took a moment to look around the dark apartment, there was hardly any light in the kitchen except the light coming from the large windows that showed off DTLA.

He turned to his left and saw the soft glow of an orange light before he hear Evan's voice- it was rough and bordering on mad. "You know, most people would take the hint and leave me alone."

Tommy could hardly be upset at how cold Evan sounded, he was too worried about Evan. The man looked dejected and upset- his blue eyes red shot and his face blotchy.

"What happened?"

Evan sniffed, rubbing his nose with his sleeve. He let out a scoff that broke down into a sour sounding laugh. "Ali broke up with me."

"She what?" Tommy sat down on the table across from Evan, careful to leave space for where Evan was resting his cast covered leg. "Like now?"

"Yup." Evan nodded, his voice rough as he tried to avoid looking at Tommy. "She-uh, couldn't live with the fact that I'm a firefighter. I guess it freaked her out that she could lose me."

Tommy grimaced at that, it was something he had noticed in the past with his teammates and their exes. People loved scars on firefighters, it just freaked them knowing how they got them.

"Can't say I blame her." Evan admitted, he tried to pull a smile for Tommy's sake but Tommy could see the grimace still. "This is a lot for anyone, I know I'm a lot without my leg in this stupid cast."

"Hey!" Tommy gently touched said leg, "You're not a lot." He reminded the younger man pointedly, "You're going through a lot right now, you didn't ask for your leg to get crushed by a freaking firetruck." He sighed, watching as Evan leaned back in the couch. "Who's going to help you now?" Tommy asked after a few seconds of silence. He couldn't help but notice the stairs that more than likely led to Evan's bed and the bathroom that was clearly in the main floor.

"What do you mean?"

Tommy raised a brow at that, his mouth opening slightly. He figured he didn't need to clarify here. "I mean, you're currently using crutches and you live in a apartment with stairs." He looked up at the loft, "A lot of stairs." He shook his head, "is your sister planning on staying with you?"

"No." Evans confused face was staring to worry Tommy now, "She'll drop by, but I'm probably just gonna sleep on my couch, y'know, since the kitchen and bathroom are down here."

"Uh huh." Tommy pursed his lips, the logistics sounded...fine. "What's your plan for getting your clothes and stuff from your bedroom?"

Evan paused at that, clearly annoyed and not having thought out that far yet, "I can hop upstairs if I really need something or I'll ask Maddie or Bobby for help when they come by."

Tommy had a bad habit of keeping his head down and staying quiet. It was mostly out of fear and self preservation because when he did open his mouth during the most inopportune times he would end up saying the most out of pocket and random stuff like...

"Or you could stay with me."

The cat was running out of the bag now.

"Er- wh-what?"

Even Evan looked as confused as Tommy felt.

"Not like forever type of-" Tommy shook his head, hoping to start over as he paused to reset himself, rubbing his neck nervously as he tried to find the words all while his stomach was interested in bringing up his lunch again. "I have a house, it's a one story house, so no stairs to deal with and I have a guest bedroom with its own bathroom. It's a shower stall, so you wouldn't have issues getting in and out."

It was bold to assume Evan would even entertain the idea of Tommy's request since they had only known each other for five days.

There was a carton of milk in Tommy's fridge that Tommy had had longer than this...friendship?

"You don't have to say "Yes", obviously....I just don't want to leave you here. Especially since the first few days are the hardest and you're gonna be on pain meds for a while."

Despite thinking Evan would be weirded out, Evan looked thrilled and relieved- a weird mixture of aww and feelings hit Tommy hard in his heart. Evan looked so adorable, blushing as he smiled hard at Tommy. "You would let me stay? I mean- I-I wouldn't mind. It's just taking care of me might be a lot. Im probably gonna complain about my leg when im not loopy on those pain meds."

Tommy chuckled, patting Evan's leg, "After what you went through, you should be able to complain."

That got Evan to laugh, he was already looking and sounding bright to Tommy's ears.

It suited Evan well.

(This crush was gonna drive Tommy crazy.)

"It's just- I should probably pay you rent or something."

Tommy eyed the loft, "I don't even want to know what you're paying rent for this place, keep your money. I just want you to focus on getting better. At least when you're staying with me, I don't have to worry about you falling down multiple steps just so you can change your shirt."

Evan still didn't look fully convinced, "I don't know, Tommy. I- I wouldn't be in the way? I mean, we just met. You're gonna get sick of me real-"

"I don't think I could ever get sick of you, Evan."

Tommy didn't have the rationale to wince or over think about how sincere he sounded. He didn't even want to know what he looked liked while saying it.

Because Evan's reaction was worth it. The younger man seemed to flush all over, his eyes dilating as his mouth dropped open for a bit.

Tommy couldn't help but linger at Evan's lips.

"Y-yeah. O-okay." Evan licked his lips, Tommy could have sworn Evan's eyes dropped to Tommy's lips, but that was definitely wishful thinking. "It would probably be easier to stay with you then here right now."

Tommy had to get back to being rational and logical about this.

"Exactly." He stood up, "I can pack a bag for you and then we can head home? Maybe pick up some dinner on the way, we can pick up some Thai food."

Evan's relieved and grateful smile had Tommy grinning back like an idiot. "Sounds great."

"Great." He clapped his hands together, "Just point me to where you keep your luggage."

Thirty minutes later Tommy was helping Evan get into his truck.

It was definitely a stupid idea to have his crush stay with him, but Tommy couldn't help but feel incredibly giddy as he and Evan talked throughout the car ride to the restaurant and then to Tommy’s house.

Maybe this could be the start of a beautiful friendship...once Tommy got over his crush on Evan.

[apollabarnes]

that was us part three

quick author's note: originally i wrote this series to coincide only with abby's appearances, so i didn't try and cover the time between abby leaving los angeles and coming back during the train derailment — however, since i've continued writing this series i've realized that what i orginally wrote had a lot of backstory that only existed in my head, but that was very much flavouring the rest of the story. i didn't write the tommy and abby interactions at the hospital as the first time they'd talked since he moved to harbor but all of that backstory stayed off the page. this is part of me trying to correct that, and i'm editing parts one and two to cover more of it. also, i know the hospital is originally part three, but this is sneaking in between chapter two and three (i'll update it on ao3 when i'm at my actual computer and not sneaking onto tumblr during work hours)

a tag for @leashybebes who asked to be tagged if i wrote any more of this!

abby's mom dies and she falls apart. she barely makes it through the funeral, buck holds her together while she's sorting through all of her mom's things and it's just. suffocating. her mom's passport is the last straw — how many things did she put off, thinking there would be more time before she got her diagnosis? how many things has abby put off? she loves being a dispatcher. she loves la. buck is the best thing that's happened to her in close to a decade. there were so many things she was planning to do before she tore her rotator cuff. then it was rehab, trying swimming again, quitting again — pushing off all things she'd thought about doing since she was a kid. tommy had helped with that, given her somewhere safe to recover while she licked her wounds, and still she'd put things off. put them aside and shoved them down and promised herself later, later, later. it's later and she still hasn't done even one of the things she wanted to do when she was younger.

she's going to start with her mom's old travel itinerary. abby packs a bag, buys an airline ticket, tells buck she's leaving. the thought of trying to sublet her apartment or sell it is just too much to deal with right now, so she offers him the apartment because he hates living with his roommates and she's certainly not going to be using it. she tries to be as gentle as she can. abby was stuck for a really long time and buck's the one that got her unstuck. it's a gift she's a hundred percent certain he has no idea he gave her, and she doesn't have the words to thank him for it, so she's gentle instead. buck deserves gentle. he deserves better than her, but she doesn't say that either. he wouldn't take it as the compliment she means it as.

it's a cliché to say that she can feel her heart break when he drops her off at the airport, but clichés become clichés because they're things that are true and universal.

abby sits in the airport lounge and waits for her flight to be called. she very quickly gets bored and pulls out her phone, staring at it. if she texts buck now she'll just turn around, let herself get stuck again. she'd like it, too. she wants to try. she can't stay. she scrolls through her phone contacts, stops on tommy's name. snaps a photo of her drink and the departures screen behind her.

guess who's going to europe?

since when do you text?

apparently phone calls are for fossils.

he didn't actually call you a fossil, did he?

no, of course not, but he's a texter. so. i am too now, i guess.

europe, huh? and a guinness to get you started. so you're headed to ireland.

how'd you guess?

your mom mentioned it a few times. really loved a good brogue and pierce brosnan.

she did, didn't she?

yeah. i'm really sorry, abby. about your mom and the fact i couldn't make it.

thanks. any recommendations for when i'm over there?

i'm more of a desert guy, hang on. i've got an idea.

what is this, a group chat? wait, abby texts?

why is everyone surprised that i text?

sal, abby's looking for places to visit in europe.

hey, sal.

head to italy. stop. eat. come home.

sal, jesus. i was hoping you'd be a little more useful.

well, no, he's got a point tommy, i do love pasta.

jesus, fine, stop — gina says hi, by the way. abby, i've been informed by your ex you're going to ireland first.

someone's got to keep you on track, sal.

you've already got the gift of gab since you're on the phone all day, so you can probably skip the blarney stone. there's the giant's causeway. and all the travel magazines try to rank the castles, but they're all neat.

didn't realise you'd spent so much time in europe, sal.

well, gina's the expert (and dictating some of this to me) but hey. she took me over for our honeymoon and we hit the highlights.

we're both very impressed, sal. how long are you going to be in europe, abby?

i don't know. until i get… inspired.

is the baby hotshot coming with?

i hate it when you two call him that.

we could have used his name if you'd ever given it to us.

and have you track him down at work and crack jokes? i don't think so. abby stares at her phone for a long moment before texting again. no, he's not coming. we broke up.

he broke up with you after your mom died?

forget cracking jokes, we'll track him down at work and break his leg.

thank you for the offer, i think? but i was the one that broke up with him.

why?

was the sex that bad?

because i'm going to europe and i don't know when i'm coming back?

gross, sal. abby, if this kid was really into you, he would have waited.

don't listen to tommy, abby, he's still half-hung up on this girl that dumped him ten years ago.

sal!

sal!

abby gets a solo text almost immediately from tommy, promising to dunk sal's head in the nearest toilet the next time they're in the same place. she laughs to herself, startling when the announcement for her flight comes crackling out of the overhead speakers.

that's my cue, gents. sal, just because you and gina wish tommy would move in doesn't mean you have to project that feeling onto us.

he's just so much better at folding laundry than sal ever is - gina

i'm not running away, we got a call. but i'm really embarrassed to know all three of you.

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 31 ramble

this is THE most back we've ever been yall. ever.

gonna start doing the cut for spoilers btw i think

i missed this intro so damn bad ohhhhh my god geeking OUT

why did he pronounce compartmentalizing like that is that a brit thing

IT'S ONLY A HAND HELPPPP i fucking knew it gang. i told you. i told you fr.

this is horrifying thanks!!!!! colin is in the computer now

lena come BACK lena come BACKKKKK

the hand is gone the hand is gone

"i am in charge" gwen pls

it can open its own damn cases i guess

JMJ EQUALS NULL??? hey becher though

it recorded what happened to colin oh no :(

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOLY WHATTTTTTRT OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL

??????THEY DELETED COLIN IN THE COMPUTER??????? DOES THIS EVEN COUNT AS DEATH

i guess it does

gwen. dawg.

the lie noise on "i'm sure we can leave"

"she's gone home" which home....

gwen's holding it together skills are really good is she okay internally

the fear in her voice when alice left her in there alone for a sec okay yeah she's not

SAM?? SAM??? SAM OH MY GOD

was that helen or am i tripping

i heard the door and the echo oh my god sam are you okay honey

celia and jack :(

the lie on sam will be okay wtf help celia pls

i appreciate alice going by herself gwen would be too harsh

see this sounds like what teddy tried to do and i'm not hearing an update for my blog

alice you can't go after him queen

gwen LEAVE the building get OUT of there leave the building leave the building leave the building get out of there get out of there get out of there wait OUTSIDE girlie

back to sam? is it the archivist following him or what?? SAMMMMM THEY FOUND HIM OMG so okay post mag200 is hell! NO FUCKING CIRCUSI KUSOIC

georgie <33

DON'T ASK QUESTIONS

we're back to sam so quick omg anyway what have they done to him

please be basira melanie and or georgie

YESSSSSSS IT'S GEORGIE

WELCOME BACK ARCHIVES GEORGIE BARKER

awe gertrude the vehicle

the domain trauma reference too omg

sam are you okay man holy shit also georgie i needed you to clock the celia reference

celia tell the TRUTH i fear. the final girls need to stick together like the archives ones

do not touch your email this office is paper only okay

the lie on "didn't eat colin" and "we can maintain business as usual"

yeah i'd quit and also take gwen with me this is the end of it for me

celia you're correct get out get out get out take them and.. ok i guess..

the lie on i am very busy LMFAOOO

the archivist oh shit this guard is so fucked i think oh shit she's gonna fall in to finish the balance oh my god ??? oh MY GOD

the eye reference

oh? she knew the magnus institute

she must've been in the london watcher domain omg

dawg

this domain sounds horrifying but like a degree funnier than the other ones we know

"the archivist died" WHAT.

ohh ok so everything is contained to london and the rest is rebuilding ooook

oh no :(

my god! but also she's a badass

rip heidi

THAT'S THE END WTFFFFFFF

[vnfadinglight]

Let me propose to you another (not really fun) way to look at ACoTaR as a series.

Firstly, forget that it's a romance. It's not anymore. Horror would be a better description.

Secondly, make few assumptions:

1) The way Feyre tricked Tarquins's mental walls to let her through and change his way of thinking without him realising? Rhysand is daemati of over 500 years, he knows it and USES IT freely.

2) Rhys lies, including to Feyre, when it suits his narrative.

3) One thing he didn't lie about? He believes mating bonds exist to produce the strongest offspring. He sees himself as the strongest High Lord so a child he would have with his mate would be even stronger than him and that is his goal.

The whole idea is sounds quite anti-Rhysand but I think it makes him way interesting of a character.

Instead of a romance we see a story of a girl being slowly manipulated to break up with her (now) ex, isolating from any support outside NC, losing own beliefs and personality and being used by a guy and believing that it was HER IDEA.

Let's go book by book

About ACOTAR

Rhys mentioned that he had dreams about Feyre hunting and he went to Calanmai to see her. Assuming that he didn't lie to her this time we can guess that he suspected a mating bond before it snapped UTM. So he went there to see his mate - someone he needs for his offspring.

Then we have all of Tamlin's storyline. But instead of focusing it on romance with Feyre let's focus it on 50 years this man spent sending his own people to slaughter. Amarantha's curse is basically psychology torture for this man whose only fault was that he didn't want her. But when he thought that all hope had died, Feyre showed up and he chosen HER over whatever Amarantha was doing to him UTM and was planning to do.

UTM happens. In there Rhysand:

Forces Feyre into a pact where she has to see him regularly, in his place, unattended

Uses his daemati powers to have her drink wine

SA her. For what reason (other than his own gratification) I don't know. He claims he wanted to provoke Tamlin to kill Amarantha but imo he would just rovoke Tamlin to kill him instead. How does it count against Amarantha? Never mind, figured it out. See later.

Don't remember if it happened in ACoTaR or later, but Rhys lies about taking away Claire's pain to make himself look better. He doesn't do it when Feyre's in labour pain, that's for sure.

Blames Tamlin for "not getting Feyre out of UTM when he had a chance". But Tamlin did - he send her back to human lands just before 50 years was over. She come back to save him anyway. He tries to paint himself as opposition to Tamlin with clear distinction of who "the real bad guy is". He basically wants to put that thought in Feyre's head.

About ACOMAF

I don't remember this book as well as the others but there are few key points.

Feyre is forced to learn how to write and read using this silly "Rhysand is the most handsome High Lord" lines. How many times do you have to write it for it to stick in your mind?

Also, while Rhys is teaching Feyre Mind Shielding he has a full and unrestricted access to her head. He KNOWS that she is afraid of closed spaces. He also knows that after all those weeks of him SAing her UTM, Tamlin is absolutely paranoid about about Feyre spending any amount of time with Rhysand. As you would be. Add to it that Tamlin seen her DYING IN HORRIBLE PAIN (were was your power to take away the pain again, Rhysand?) and I'm amazed that he didn't lock her in her bedroom earlier.

So what if... That trouble on the border that Tamlin was tending to when he locked Feyre... Was all Rhysand's doing?

I could keep going like this but I have stuff to do.

It just explains so many weird behaviours in the series. HL meeting? He used his powers to placate them.

[savannagonemad]

shelter in your arms

~~~💚💚💚~~~💚💚💚~~~💚💚💚~~~

fluff ✨

kang sae-byeok x fem!reader

wordcount: 3.3k

author's note: my first post! i hope you like it! i had this idea a day or so ago and i think it all came together pretty well 💚 also this ended up being a lottt longer than i intended but i got kinda invested lol oops. not really proofread so sorry if there's mistakes!!

~~~💚💚💚~~~💚💚💚~~~💚💚💚~~~

you had finally convinced sae-byeok to go on a camping trip with you. you weren't even sure where the idea came from, yourself - you've never been too interested in camping to begin with. the more you thought about it, though, the better of an idea it seemed like to you.

your lives had been stressful, to say the least. you had gotten evicted from your apartment and had to move in with sae-byeok or else you'd be homeless. she was skeptical at first, but you've known her long enough that she got used to it pretty quickly. the pressure of this, combined with the general crazyness of life, had been wearing you out, and you could tell it was dragging on sae-byeok as well, though she tried to hide it.

when you had first brought up the idea, she was surprised, to say the least.

"y/n, do you even own camping gear?" she said, not even looking up from her phone.

"do you really think i would suggest this if i didn't have the stuff for it?" you huffed, crossing your arms.

"knowing you, kind of," she said, glancing up at you for a moment.

"hey!" you said, pretending to be offended.

she didn't say anything in return, though you could see a slight smirk on her face.

over the next few days, you kept bringing it up and trying to convince her that it was a good idea, but she wasn't having it. eventually though, after a lot of convincing (and a fair share of whining at her), she agreed to go.

"fine," she said, looking up at you from where she was reading on the couch.

"really?" you said, surprised. you were beginning to think about giving up on the idea.

"something tells me you won't stop bothering me about it until i say yes," she said, setting her book off to the side. "and besides, it's just getting colder out, and i don't want to do it while it's freezing outside."

for the next few days, the two of you planned out where you would go. you settled on a two-day trip over the weekend at a site next to a river. as the day of your trip apprached, you found yourself strangely excited for it. before you knew it, the day arrived, and you and sae-byeok packed your gear and loaded it into the car. sae-byeok insisted on driving, mostly because she didn't trust your driving, especially not with her car.

"i can't believe i let you drag me into this," she said as she pulled out of her parking space.

"come on, it'll be fun! and it'll be nice to get away from... everything, i guess," you said, looking out the window as you begin driving down the road.

"i guess," sae-byeok said, glancing at you in the rearview mirror for a moment. you looked into the mirror at the same time and she quickly looked away, focusing on the road.

the two of you made small talk as you drove to your destination, most of the topics being of little interest to you both. it was more of an excuse to talk to her - something the two of you didn't do much, despite being roommates. occasionally you would catch her glancing at you in the mirror, and she would act like nothing was happening. after a couple more times of this, you got sick of it and decided to confront her.

"why do you keep looking at me?" you asked, fully looking over at her in the driver's seat.

"i need to look in the mirror to drive, y/n," she stated, pretending not to know what you were talking about.

"i didn't know staring at the passenger was part of driving," you contested, drawing a noise of complaint from sae-byeok.

"it's nothing," she said, dismissing the topic.

you huffed but let it go. after all, it's not like you wouldn't have time to talk to her about it later.

after a few silent minutes of driving, you decided to try something. you looked into the mirror directly at sae-byeok and stared her down, waiting to see if you could catch her looking at you again. as you looked at your roommate, you couldn't help notice her facial features that you hadn't paid much attention to before - her freckles, her haircut which was strangely cute despite being very fitting, and her eyes which you swore suddenly were a lot prettier than you remember them being.

"you can stop staring at me now," she said, interrupting your daze. apparently you were looking at her for longer than you thought.

"sorry," you mumbled, looking away as you blushed in mild embarrassment.

you tried not to look at her for the remainder of the drive, but you couldn't help yourself a few times, though fortunately she didn't catch you again.

eventually you both arrived at the campsite entrance and sae-byeok parked the car letting both of you out. the two of you grabbed your gear and sae-byeok locked the car, then you started walking towards the entrance.

"how far is it to where we're going?" sae-byeok asked as you started walking together.

"i think it's about a ten minute walk or so," you said, subconsciously matching her walking pace. "why, are you tired of me already?" you teased, grinning slightly.

"i might be if you keep talking like that," she replied. "i can always leave you here," she said, the joke being a nice break from her usual cold self.

just as you were going to reply, your foot got caught on a branch and you stumbled, tripping and just barely missing landing on sae-byeok. luckily for you, you managed to catch yourself with your hands before faceplanting directly into the ground.

"y/n, are you okay?" sae-byeok asked, barely hidden concern in her voice. she crouched down next to you and helped you up as you avoided looking at her out of complete embarrassment.

you meekly accepted her help and the two of you stood up. you wanted to brush it off and keep walking but sae-byeok grabbed you by the shoulder and didn't let you keep going.

"i'm fine," you said, wanting to move on.

"let me see your hands," sae-byeok said, but you ignored her request. "now," she added, her voice firm but gentle.

you shyly offered your hands to her, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. she grabbed your wrists, looking over your palms closely to make sure you didn't accidentally cut yourself.

"just a few light scratches, luckily," she said, letting your hands go. as soon as your hands were free, you started walking forward again, much to sae-byeok's dismay.

"you're welcome," she chided as she followed after you, quickly matching your pace again.

"i don't want to talk about it. it was just a fall. nothing serious." you kept walking, sae-byeok keeping up with you and staying a little closer than before. she made a noise of complaint as you brushed her off but otherwise dropped the topic.

at least that's what you thought, until you felt her wrap her hand around your wrist protectively.

"what are you doing?" you asked, though not trying to pull away.

"making sure you don't fall again," she stated simply, keeping her eyes trained on the path ahead.

you didn't say anything else, mostly because you didn't know what to say. the physical attention did feel nice, though you definitely weren't going to say that out loud.

the two of you kept walking forward, her gripping your wrist protectively all the while.

"if you wanted to hold my hand, you could just say so..." you mumbled after a few minutes, causing sae-byeok to falter slightly.

"what." she said after briefly composing herself, looking over at you.

"nothing, nevermind," you replied, looking away as her gaze took your sudden confidence away.

you kept walking in silence for another minute before you felt sae-byeok's hand not-so-discreetly slip into yours, her fingers interlocking with yours so she could have a better grip. you glanced at her in surprise and saw a faint blush on her face, and you then locked your own fingers with hers. neither of you spoke a word about it until you subconsciously ran your thumb over the back of her hand.

"don't do that," she said, keeping her hand in yours. you quickly stopped and went back to focusing on walking.

"sorry," you apologized, not getting a response.

you were content enough as it is, even if this was just to make sure you didn't fall over like a bowling pin again. sae-byeok's sudden protectiveness over you was adorable whether she liked it or not, though that's definitely not something you would be admitting to her anytime soon.

finally, after a few more eventless minutes of walking, you got to the place where you would be setting up camp. sae-byeok removed her hand from yours, drawing a sound of complaint from you which she ignored as she began to unpack her stuff. you figured you should do the same and you begin to unpack too.

as you begin to unpack your gear, you looked around at the campsite. admittedly it was a very beautiful place - there were vibrant trees all around you, and you could hear the soft rushing of water from the river nearby. maybe you could get used to this. especially if sae-byeok was with you.

"don't fall into the river," sae-byeok called out as she began setting up her tent nearby.

"shut up," you retorted playfully as you begin setting up your own tent, embracing the whole 'clumsy' thing. apparently it means sae-byeok holds your hand, which is plenty of motivation for you.

after you get your tent arranged, you go over to check on sae-byeok, partially because you want to see how she's setting up her tent so you can make sure you're doing it right yourself.

"pretty nice place, isn't it?" you comment as you walk over. birds chirp in the trees as the soft rustling of the wind creates a surprisingly peaceful environment for being in nature.

"i guess," sae-byeok responds, pausing to look around, though keeping her back to you. "maybe you were right for once."

you pout and go to make a response of your own when the wind suddenly picks up, shaking some leaves off of the trees nearby. you hold your hand up to your eyes to shield yourself from the wind and wait for it to pass.

"told you," you finally manage to respond once the wind dies back down. you turn to finish setting up your tent - after all, it'll be dark soon and you definitely don't want to have to do it by the light of a fire.

your tent is gone.

you quickly walk forward towards where it was, looking down at the ground and hoping it'll magically appear again from wherever it's hiding. it does not. however, you do see the stakes you got out still lying on the ground right where you put them. your heart sinks as you realize you forgot to stake the tent down. the wind must have blown it away. which means...

you trail your eyes to where the wind blew, and you catch sight of your tent which has found a nice new home in the river.

"you cannot be serious," you say to yourself, getting sae-byeok's attention. she gets up and walks over, noticing your sudden lack of a tent.

"y/n, where's your tent?" she asks, coming to a stop beside you. you dejectedly point towards where it's floating away down the river. sae-byeok immediately covers her mouth with her hand and turns away from you, though you can see her shoulders shaking as she tries to conceal her laugh.

"it's not funny!" you say, whining at her. "where am i going to sleep now? in the river?"

sae-byeok gathers herself and turns to you, though there's still a small smirk on her face. "i'm guessing that was your only tent?"

"who brings more than one tent to a camping trip??" you complain, causing sae-byeok to giggle which draws another whine from you.

sae-byeok looks at you, then to the tent which is floating its way down the river like a boat. "do you want to go home?" she asks. she might find this funny but she wants to make sure you're actually alright.

you sigh. "no..." you start, fidgeting with your hands nervously. "we came all this way. i don't want to have dragged you out here for nothing..."

"you can stay in my tent then," she decides, turning back to go finish setting it up. "unless you want to fish yours out of the river."

"really? you don't mind?" you ask, trailing after her. the offer is really nice of her, though you suppose there's not really another choice.

"i'm not going to leave you outside in the cold," she responds coolly. "unless you want to sleep outside."

"no!" you say quickly. "it's just... i don't know. thank you."

"don't mention it. can you start a fire while i finish setting this up? preferably on land," she teases, getting complaints from you, though you do end up making yourself useful and start a fire for the both of you.

as the day turns to night and more banter between the two of you passes over a simple dinner cooked on the fire, it's soon time to turn in for the night, unless you'd like to stay outside and both become mosquito food. you follow sae-byeok into her tent where there's a grand total of one sleeping bag - yours was swept into the river along with the tent, and it's probably halfway to the ocean by now.

"uhh, sae? there's just one sleeping bag here," you observe. "and... one pillow."

"i can see that," she responds, kneeling down to open the sleeping bag.

"so... what are we supposed to do?" you ask. you're not too thrilled with the idea of sleeping without anything to cover you.

"it's big enough, we can share." sae-byeok looks up at you, speaking again before you can ask more questions. "it's either that or you keep us both awake because i just know you'll be shivering all night, your choice."

you fake pout at her while she lies down, scooting over to give you room. "thanks for this," you say as you lie down next to her, leaving a bit a space between you.

"zip it up," sae-byeok says to you, looking on expectantly.

"are you serious? we won't fit," you object. sae-byeok wraps her arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer, zipping up the sleeping bag herself.

"yes we will," she says flatly, trying not to pay attention to how close the two of you are. it's a good thing she wasn't looking at you since you were busy trying to hide a blush yourself.

the two of you laid there for a few minutes, neither of you able to get comfortable due to the cramped space. it didn't help that you kept getting slightly closer to sae-byeok with each passing minute, which is something she very much noticed. she looked over at you, unimpressed, though her face had a bit of amusement on it.

"what are you doing, y/n?" she asked, causing you to freeze still.

"nothing," you replied, hoping that maybe she wouldn't notice that you're suddenly closer to her than you were before. sae-byeok waited in silence, trying to get you to speak more, but you remained silent which drew a huff from her.

"i know what you're doing, so just come here and get it over with," she said, half-teasing. she grinned when she saw you suddenly get flustered and look away. "sorry, but you aren't exactly subtle."

you glared at her for a moment, but obliged and cuddled up next to her. the space situation did not improve, which prompted sae-byeok to speak again. "that's not what i meant. come on, otherwise neither of us will get to sleep tonight."

you slowly turned over and tenatively wrapped an arm around sae-byeok. when she didn't complain, you more confidently rested your head on her chest and lightly held onto her shoulder, your other hand resting at your side.

"comfortable now?" she asked you, her hand gently finding yours as she held your hand again. your heart half-melted and you nodded, which was satisfactory to her. "good. now go to sleep."

you sighed contentedly, cuddling closer against sae-byeok. in response, her free hand went to your hair and she absent-mindedly played with it, which you liked a lot. you let her know this by gently squeezing her hand, causing her to smile slightly.

"thank you," you murmured. you didn't expect tonight to end up like this, but you're more than happy that it did. your train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the feeling of sae-byeok gently kissing the top of your head, causing you to freeze.

"you're welcome," she said simply, not acknowledging what she just did. you tilted your head up to look at her, and she looked down at you in response, neither of you bothering to hide the soft blushes on your faces.

"sae," you started, suddenly feeling anxious. "can... can i kiss you?" you looked away as soon as you said that, not wanting to ruin the moment. "sorry, forget i said that.."

"y/n." sae-byeok squeezed your hand to get your attention, and you sheepishly looked up at her. she nodded at you, giving you butterflies in your stomach.

"really..?" you asked, wanting to make sure she was sure.

"yes, now do it before i change my mind," she said, looking at you expectantly.

she could get you to do anything with that look.

you slowly moved forward and hovered above her, looking down at her while your lips were just inches away from each other's. you stayed like that for a moment too long and sae-byeok got impatient, using the hand that was still playing with your hair to pull you in.

you melt into her as your lips connect, closing your eyes. this felt good. she softly ran her hand through your hair as her grip on your hand tightened. after a few moments, you went to pull away, but sae-byeok pulled you back in by putting her hand on the back of your neck. you were happy to oblige, pressing your mouth back on hers. you forgot about everything besides sae-byeok, your lips moving in sync as you kissed one another. you felt truly safe here, not worrying about the stresses that made you come here in the first place, and definitely not worrying about your tent which was most likely on its way to antarctica. all you could think about was sae-byeok.

after a minute or so, she finally let you go. you pulled away with one last kiss, looking down at her, both of you blushing heavily but not caring. her hand rested on the side of your neck as you looked into each other's eyes.

"i liked that," you said, smiling. "we should do that more often." you settled back down onto her chest after stealing one last kiss before she could respond.

"i wouldn't be opposed," sae-byeok said, playing with your hair once again while rubbing your hand with her thumb. "good night, y/n."

"goodnight, sae-byeok."

nothing but the sound of crickets chirping and the sound of rushing water from the river filled the air as you both happily fell asleep in each other's arms.

~~~💚💚💚~~~💚💚💚~~~💚💚💚~~~

[you-are-constance]

how was the great gatsby musical?

overall, one of my favorite theatre experiences. to the level that i have been looping the cast recording nonstop since it came out last week

i do have a lot of specific points that i could talk So Long about with this show, most of which i'll put under a read more, but first: casting

anyway. spoilers for the great gatsby musical (things that were changed from the book for the production)

the 'main four' being Jeremy Jordan, Noah J Ricketts, Eva Noblezada, and Samantha Pauly, were all absolutely incredible. show stopping in their own ways. i was genuinely so scared that when i saw it that any of these 4 wouldn't be on, but i got so lucky and all of them were!! i am 100% convinced that many of the songs were written just to showcase certain actors voices (jeremy jordan).

let me tell you. getting to see jeremy jordan and eva noblezada live was unlike anything i've ever seen before. i was like. genuinely honored to be there. their stage presence, their voices, their acting ability, oh man... and Samantha Pauly was just incredible, and her big number was so. show stopping. Noah J. Ricketts was amazing the whole time, but his emotion in finale as he was saying the lines that are basically quoted exactly from the book... yeah i cried.

but so many other actors were also so amazing! John Zdrojeski as Tom was so good at the role, because Tom really was genuinely awful, but not in like an evil villain way, because he's much more realistic than that. i also find that a lot of times Tom is kinda seen as stupid or whatever for not noticing a lot of things going around him but in the musical he really like. could tell what was going on. and he worked his way into finding out secrets (kinda more on this later bc of my favorite song)

another main this was just. the design. Linda Cho costumes MY BELOVED im so glad she won the tony because this show DESERVED IT. it was definitely a glorified image of what those 1920s outfits would actually be, but most musical theatre isn't meant to be an exact replica of history, it's meant to dramatize it, and Linda Cho understands the assignment when it comes to costumes. the lighting and scenic design were also just incredible, especially their use of the green light shining from across the bay...

the show started out with Gatsby onstage, reaching for the green light. a set piece is moved across the stage, passing in front of him, Nick standing where Gatsby was. within that moment i was like "if they don't end the show with Nick standing there, the set piece passing in front, and leaving Gatsby behind, reaching for the green light, then what is the POINT" and then they DID and it was just as great as i'd imagined.

there were definitely changes to the story to adapt it to the stage, which i actually enjoyed (i've read the book, but didn't love it mostly due to a bad experience with reading it in school so. yeah). it is kinda more romance-centric in the first act, which i have heard people complain about, but i kinda see reasoning for it. yes, the first act is very much centered around the various relationships (especially the romantic ones), and in the second act, while certain characters (mostly gatsby) try to keep it centered on the romance, there is a much bigger, darker story going on all around them. so i really liked that meta perspective of it.

they also gave a lot more character to mr wilson (idr his first name), effectively intertwining him with both Gatsby and Wolfsheim as he, from the very beginning, plans to move him and Myrtle away from the city (its been a hot sec since i read the book, so idr if that's there but i don't think it is).

the relationship between Nick and Jordan is also taken a lot further in the musical, to the point where they are engaged, but after Myrtle's death, it gets broken off. this is because, in this version, Jordan ends up lumped in with both Tom and Daisy, in with the old money. throughout most of the show she is much more aware of society and doesn't want any part of what her role 'should' be, but when things go south, she is just as quick as the others to abandon what's 'right' in favor of what's better for her. and ik some people might not like that change but i actually did.

Myrtles character is also taken a lot further in this, which i find really fascinating. she is given her own big number right before her death as she tried to go after Tom, saying that he'll leave Daisy and marry her instead, but then she realizes she'll become just like Daisy in that situation, and the only choice is 'love or money.' she eventually decides that she wants to go back to her husband, and the moment she turns back, she is killed. this was Such a big number and, looking back, might be one of my favorites story-wise.

while i absolutely adored most everything, genuinely, the music was by far my favorite part (besides maybe jeremy jordan and eva noblezada...) a personal thing for me was that Every. Single. Song. has SUCH a good bassline. man i need the sheet music for this show. (side note: i got to talk to the show's bass player for a few minutes after the show! i was super nervous about it but im glad i did. he was super nice)

there's def a mix of more modern showtune styles, along with bringing in a lot of jazzy elements, which was GREAT. i love jazz. like i mentioned before, certain songs were definitely written for actor's voices (Past is Catching Up to Me) which is absolutely not a bad thing because they were AMAZING

two of my favorite songs were 'Only Tea' and 'Made to Last.'

only tea is when Gatsby is stressing about Daisy coming over for tea. this was hilarious. I kid you not jeremy jordan jumped a fence at the end. it was iconic. (you can Feel the nerves in just the cast recording alone).

made to last takes place in the scene in the Plaza. it's mostly Tom, revealing the secrets he learned about how Gatsby got his fortune, then Gatsby trying to get Daisy to tell Tom she doesn't love him. there are So Many Good lines in this song (everyone kinda drags Tom a lot its great) but this is where the characterization of Tom was really just. top notch. because he really is freaking Awful. but he's also smart and not going to let go of what he owns (not good that he considers Daisy a possession though...), and he knows exactly what is going to happen to Gatsby--he's not Made to Last.

(also the song Shady is iconic. spinny tailcoats)

another just. singular line that i need to draw attention to, sung by mr wilson (he has multiple songs directed to the Eyes of God), and this line is right when he decides to go after Gatsby. "God sees everything but he's slow on his commands/You've got the eyes of God, Doc/Who's gonna be his hands?"

(this line is reprised in the middle of Gatsby's song right before the gun goes off. fun fact)

i'm sure there are So Many Other Things i could talk about (i s2g i could write 13 essays about this show) but in general like. while it wasn't groundbreaking to the theatre, it was still Such a good show and absolutely deserves better yknow. attention then it's getting. like jeremy jordan is here for a Reason this is a Good show. and mostly this is my begging people to listen to the cast recoding because its SO GOOD.

anyway. if anyone has questions about specific things i am So Happy to talk but here's a lot of my more general thoughts... (god i haven't even Talked about Eric Anderson as Wolfsheim...)

[trashlie]

ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.

[naamahdarling]

.

[cordelianewman]

"Exactly, growth." Giving a sharp nod, even if it was growth in the form of sharing her food in the tiniest ways. Because she definitely hadn't been good at it back in the day when they had gone to the diner and Cage had simply tried to get a fry from her plate and she'd slap his hand away while giving him daggers. Of course, she wasn't sure if he ever really understood -- at that time -- the pressure her mother put on her in regards to food and her body, he probably did as they got older. "I can do that, when I get home I'll run down to the place I get my planner and pick one up, they have undated ones that you can put in the dates yourself so that we're not wasting the last couple of months we haven't used one. Plus I have a feeling I'll be needing another one for after I finish up my course work and licensing and am working." Of course she had ideas but she hadn't really broached the topic with Cage of what she was thinking because well, it had been one thing after another and it never felt like the right time. Once they figured out if it was possible, the logistics, that would definitely need it's own planner, so you know, carrying around three would be perfectly normal for someone who was practically a type-A personality. "No, I agree if we're serious about getting pregnant, having a baby, think not over extending ourselves too much is the best idea. After all I don't think me being out doing a ton of things when I first get pregnant is the best idea, and obviously can't do anything once I'm heavily pregnant." she pointed out, but she would always help out in anyway that she could given the fact that this was both their home and the animals they were raising, but she also knew if/when she got pregnant it would matter what things she could be around for her health. "Oh please, as if she could have ever been competition to me." she rolled her eyes, "And the fact that she thought she could be, she was dreaming, I love Twix, and the fact that she's warmed up to me, but there was never any competition between her and I." And she didn't care that she was basically saying she won in this aspect, because she was the love of his life, but she knew that he was much more glad that they got along than didn't.

"I would say play it smart and keep baked goods ready in the house, I can't promise the ones I'm going to want are going to be the ones you have in the house, but something is better than nothing. I know you really tried with the cupcakes you made though and I appreciate that more than you know." she really had that he had baked her their own version of oreo cupcakes because she had wanted some so badly that it had practically broken her down to tears when he had said there was no way even with later hours he was going to be able to get them. "But every pregnancy is different so who knows what I may or may not want so basically who knows, but you better how some of the few places that stay open really later are the things I end up craving, or maybe we should plan better grocery to be prepared for everything just in case -- if it happens." Cordelia was being a bit more cautious saying if because she just didn't want to jinx it, which maybe was silly but after all the first pregnancy hadn't worked out had it? "I know I guess I just don't want to see disappointed faces and be told we have enough kids in the house because I would feel so bad." she admitted, and she already felt kind of selfish wanting to continue growing their family. But she really didn't think those were the kind of kids they had raised at all. "Maybe you know, if it happens, when I'm further along, with people I really trust." she admitted. It wasn't like she was going to go out and tell average everyday people she had had a chemical pregnancy but maybe a close friend she relied on, siblings that she loved, but either way it wasn't something she was ready to tell anyone other than the person she shared her life with. "I know how lucky we are, we still have a family, we still have four kids that love us." Cienna and Shawn had become pieces of their family that they hadn't realized they needed as much as they needed them. They fit in perfectly, they had taken so well, despite the pain and had become such an important part to the Newman family and she could never see herself not seeing them as her children. She'd never turn her back on the two that meant the world to her as much as Colton and Rosalyn did. Maybe it wasn't conventional, but sometimes that isn't what mattered. "Well we need to bring gifts back for all the kids, they'd never forgive us. The boys would be happy with some really nice sweatshirts and sweatpants." They lived in those things. "The girls though, we better make sure to get them something good or you know they'll show it right on their faces." she laughed. "I will admit I maaaay be looking for something a little sparkly. But I don't expect it."

"Growth," he said with a laugh, but Cordelia had experienced a lot of growth from those years as an ornery teenaged girl, bossing around the cheerleading team, fending her boyfriend off from her fries, stiff upper lipping it when she walked into her house and had to deal with her parents. She was strong, she was confident, but he still sometimes caught glimpses of that girl that he fell in love with so long ago, and he was grateful that those would always be there, too. "Why don't we do something like that, then? That way you have your planner, I have my work planner, and we can have something for the house, notes about the animals or improvements that need done," stuff that would make their lives a lot easier if it was all in one place, easier to flip through. "You being all type A does come in handy sometimes," he agreed with a laugh and a nod, "during the warm months, I have a few people who buy eggs off of us, too, so it'll be good to record what we have, who we owe." He couldn't help but to let out a laugh as she 'compromised' with him by promising a full-sized horse before any other animals came to the farm, even though both of them knew that if Cage found a horse that he wanted, it was just going to end up in their yard, but he did appreciate her offer, none the less. "I want to wait. If we're serious about bringing a baby into this world, I don't want to overwhelm ourselves with animals and responsibilities, right?" What they had now, plus the little mini donkeys, that was a good start. It would be a good way to teach the kids a lot more about responsibility, see how they handled farm life before bringing in big animals. "Oh, she was using your heating pad," he nodded, "remember when I fucked up my arm and back and… all of me a couple of years back, falling off that ladder? She loved me when I had heat on. But she also does like you. I don't even think she views you as competition anymore," given that she was in love with Cage. It was good to see his girls getting along. "We'll see," he concurred with a small smirk.

Although it hadn't worked out -- for obvious reasons -- Cage had tried to be there for Colton's mother, had done his best to be a good partner for the couple of months that she was in town before everything had gone awry, but he knew that he could do better this time, that he could be there for whatever she needed. "I'd say that the only thing I ask for in return is for you to not make me go out at three in the morning to find baked goods, but I think we already established that's going to be a thing," and as much as he might want to whine and complain… he'd do it. She didn't even have to be pregnant for that. "You don't have to be scared," he promised her with another squeeze of her hand, "it's not going to change how I feel, but I think you and I would both feel better knowing that they understood that this is a decision that we're making for our family, and that we want them to be okay with it, we want to give them time to be okay with it," not to mention the fact that he was fairly certain they would be god awful at hiding a pregnancy from two teenage boys, if it were to happen. Morning sickness, Cordelia's cravings, mood swings in general… starting to put together a nursery. "That's fine," he assured her with an eager nod, "it's … different, it's your body, it's something that happened to you, I don't think we have to tell people right now. Maybe when… things are different, you know?" When they got a positive test and knew that a pregnancy was going to happen, when they felt ready to talk about what happened before alongside what was happening now. And if not, then never. That was okay, too. As she looked up at him, he felt a tiny bit of relief when she responded that she understood, that she knew it wasn't a decision that he had taken lightly, bringing her hands up to his mouth to press a kiss to her knuckles. "If we didn't have the girls, if we weren't putting two teenagers through college soon… if, if, if, you know? But we still got our dream, just a little different than how we imagined it." It might not have been three or four Cage and Cordelias running around; it might only be one. But it was a little Rosalyn full of sass and giggles, a Cienna with a heart of gold. A Colton with his father's old soul, and a Shawn with a dream that loved them. And a baby that would be made with and brought into so much love. "Yeah," he laughed, squeezing her hands a final time before turning to open the door, holding it open for her to enter first. "We can shop. What should we be looking for?"

[salemwasnteverhere]

How the Hashira men react to your neighbor asking you to be quiet

Characters: Tengen, Sanemi, Rengoku, Obanai, Gyomei, Giyuu,

Additional shit: Swearing, Sanemi fighting said neighbor, Rengoku being blunt, mentions of sex, ooc mot likely :p

Tengen

He couldn't care less

His whole thing is being flashy and loud so he wants you to be loud

Like it's not his fault that dick is magical

After he shoos your neighbor away he makes sure to be as loud as possible that night

He's pounding into your cunt and you swear your gonna break when he whispers "okay now scream exactly how big my dick is. Don't forget the tip color-"

He gets cut off by you hitting him with the pillow

Way to ruin the mood

But that doesn't stop him and instead he goes harder, making sure the bed creaks loud ASF for your neighbor

"Not my fault he doesn't know how to please a woman." Is his main reason for doing so

He really wants you to scream his name so it's imbedded in your neighbors head

"Morning N/N!" Him to your neighbor from the balcony while your trying to get out of bed and failing

"Actually die." Both you and your neighbor to Tengen

Sanemi

Cares alot

Why the fuck is that limp dick biscuit talking to you and him? Who does he think he is?

You were the one who broke the news to him thankfully cause if Sanemi was the one who opened the door then you'd have to see your husband through glass in a prison

Just kidding. The Slayer corp would get him out of trouble if he didn't do it himself.

Anyways

Sanemi made it his goal to piss your neighbor off as much as possible

Your under him, practically creaming on his cock, and he's slamming the wall yelling "This loud enough yet?! Huh!?"

Not kidding I can see him doing that

He quite literally had you against a window where your neighbors could see him destroying you just to make them mad or uncomfortable, hopefully both.

But then he'd get pissed someone else would see you all naked and fucked out so he settled for the wall next to the window

One day your neighbor, finally having enough, bangs on your door yelling and guess who opens it...Sanemi!!

Good Lord was he waiting for this

It took one punch and the guy was out

Kinda what happens when you put a normal dude against a guy who kills demons for a living

Rengoku

He's a good neutral between caring and not caring

Like he doesn't wanna make your neighbors mad but he also loves hearing your screams

So he tries to keep you quiet during sex but fails since he gets to into it to give a fuck

The next days his loud ass voice wakes you up

"IM SORRY FOR MAKING INCREDIBLE LOVE TO MY WIFE!" He's not being sarcastic thats his genuine apology

Your facepalming and you want to die when you see your neighbor and she can't look at you

"PERHAPS SHES MAD BECAUSE HER HUSBAND CANNOT PLEASE HER!" Rengoku says casually and you know she can hear you from outside in her garden

"Inside voices!" You place your hands over his mouth to try and shut him up.

It works for a bit before he's yelling again

You love your husband but holy shit you wish he would speak normally sometimes

He's actually quiet in bed though

So your the problem (real)

Obanai

I'm not an Obanai fan so forgive me for how bad his section will be

Obanai is a quiet mf, and you're not even that loud

It's your neighbor who was the problem

A little old man whose hearing aids apparently had the power of 67 suns

You and Obanai found this out when he was outside training and your neighbor came over

He was so sweet and polite and even chuckled at Obanai's redness

Obanai cared at first but got over it

You? You make sure to not make a PEEP in bed

Okay that pisses Obanai off but he understands your reasons

At least make a gasp or sum cause he's over here like "Wait does this feel good? Can she feel it? Did I forget where the clit is?"

Brother is STRESSING

Then you cum and he's like "ah"

Then he's like "Did you take it?"

You have to keep yourself from murdering him cause how tf would you fake squirting

Gyomei

Babe I'm not gonna lie, you're a screamer

Gyomei is built like a house and your telling me your just gonna whine and whimper?

NO

Your over here crying and screaming into his chest, neck, the pillow, anything.

And Gyomei loves it!

He can't see your reactions so hearing and feeling them let's him know he's doing good

Gyomei isn't loud but he's not quiet

He'll grunt and moan and praise you, but he's not gonna cry out.

Well he'll cry but you can never tell from what

When the pussy so good you start crying 😭🙏

When your neighbor politely asked you to be a tad bit quieter Gyomei actually laughed

Not in a 'nah we'll keep being loud' way but more of a 'sorry we'll be quiet' way. He also found it hilarious how you actually died of embarrassment.

Don't worry he thinks its endearing

Yet it was kinda hard for him since he enjoyed hearing you

But your touches and now quieter moans made that better

And then there's also you literally drawing blood from his back you were scratching so hard

Giyuu

Holy shit you have never seen him so embarrassed

Like you could shade match his Haori to him and get the exact same color

He was the one your neighbor told and he stopped working when 'loud' and 'moaning' left their lips

If a demon doesn't kill him then his own actions will

Giyuu isn't loud, and he loves that he can make you feel so good that your loud for him.

But he didn't want your neighbor back over at your house so he tried to keep you quiet

You were super confused when he held his hand over your mouth in bed and he just pointed to your neighbors house. Then you got it.

So you nod and try to keep quiet.

You know in school when the teacher tells you and a friend to shut up but they look at you funny and you break?

Yeah that was you

You were riding Giyuu one night and you were loud so he was like "holy shit I love you but please- I can't look our neighbor in the eyes anymore."

And you couldn't help but laugh

Like howling

You calmed down obviously but sex was very giggle filled after that

You've never seen Giyuu so panicked

But give him a week and he'll stop caring

[abbyssgf]

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧’

• concept: you go to one of your friends party with your bestfriend, Sevika. You didn't tell her but you have a feelings for her but who knows what could happen during the party? (modern au)

• words: around 3,5k (i got a little carried away)

• warnings: nsfw, sevika eats reader out, soft dom!sevika and sub!reader, alcohol, cigarettes, sevika call' reader pet names; "baby", "darling", "sweetheart", etc. yeah I think that's all

• author note: it's my first published fanfic and I hope you'll like it guys especially sevika lovers (love ya guys) I had so much fun writing it and have fun reading this fanfic!😜💕 (also english is not my first language so if i've made some mistakes then i'm sorry!!)

You were getting ready for Ran's party, from around 4.p.m to 5.p.m. You did yourself makeup, did your hair and chose your perfect outfit for a party; white top and black skirt (with small pants underneath for safety). Actually was an a 5:30.p.m and you heard your phone got a text, you reached up for your phone and saw a test from your bestfriend, sevika, a message

"hang up, darlin', I'm in front of your apartment"

You smiled reading this. You and sevika were besfriends, nothing more…at least that was the thought you've tried to believe. You've always had a crush on sevika, her muscles, her perfect lips, her brown eyes, her dark hair and just her…she is perfect. But you didn't want to make things between you two uncomfortable so you didn't tell sev that you like her, more than just a friend.

Finally you take your purse and pack things in it such as your phone, charger, tissues, tampons (for an emergency), your lipstick and some chewing gums. You put your purse on your shoulder, you put your shoes on, take the keys from your apartment and leave your house locking your doors behind you.

The first thing you saw was sevika's car in front of your house, waiting for you. You smiled under your breath when you saw sevika next to her car, sevika's car was mixed up with black and purple color. She smiled at you when you came closer to her.

"you look amazing" sevika said to you and slight blush came at your cheeks and you hope that sevika didn't notice this, 'cause it would be awkward because she is your friend

"Thanks, vika, you look great too" you replied to her with a gentle smile on your face.

Sevika's hair was arranged on gel, she had lines made with black ink, and was wearing a black shirt without sleeves that emphasized her arm muscles and black elegant pants, you could feel how riled up you started to be only by looking at sevika in this outfit which only make her sexier, you cleared your throat "lets go, we don't want to be late don't we?" you said to sevika.

she smiled at you nodding her head, she opened the passenger door to you. you said a little 'thanks' and you got into a car a few seconds later sevika got into her driver seat, closing the door behind her and she started to drive towards Ran's house. a silence was between two so you decided to ask sev if you could put some music on so the drive wouldn't be so silent between two but of course you know that you or sevika don't mind the silence cause it was comfortable in some way.

you connected your phone to sevika's car and opened spotify

"hey, I'm gonna play the new song of Billie Eilish, 'kay?" you said to sevika and she nodded focused on the road. you open the song named 'guess' from billie eilish and charli xcx the song filled the car with lyrics and you listened to it singing softly words under your breath meanwhile sevika listened to the words and smirked while listening to your voice.

after a while you saw familiar home of your friend and soon sevika parked in front of the house of Ran, you both got out of the car and sevika gave you a small smile "ready to go?" she asked you and you smiled wilde "yeah, lets have some fucking fun" and with that you caught sevika's hand and you dragged her with you to Ran's house and a small blush on sevika's checks passed unnoticed by you.

you and sevika entered the house and you were immediately greeted by loud music coming probably from the living room, the kitchen, which was visible from the entrance to the house, had a lot of food on the table, from healthy things to sweet and salty snacks and alcohol. well the party was just starting, but you could already feel the adrenaline in your body and excitement filled your body, you said hello to some of your friends and sevika also greeted her friends.

you go to the kitchen, grab a glass and you poured yourself some alcohol that was within your reach, few moments later sevika stand next to you and do the same, the alcohol immediately appeared in your body and you breathed a sigh of relief as you felt your body relax under the influence of the drink. sevika looked at herself from the corner of her eye, looking at you and she made a mental note to check on you later from time to time 'cause she was concerned that you'll drink a lot of more than you usually do (you never didn't drink more than usual but she was still concerned about you).

between those two hours you drink more alcohol but not that many that you wouldn't recognize where you are and sevika comes to your side from time to time to check how you are feeling. Actually you were chatting with one of your friend, Olivia talking about everything that crossed your mind, laughing with her and you two were sitting on the couch. While chatting you noticed that sevika went out to the terrace, probably to smoke a cigarette. lately you didn't talk with her so you decided to go after her.

"sorry, im gonna talk to sevika. i'll be right back, okay?" you said to Olivia and she just nodded. you got up from the couch and you headed to the terrace after sevika. since it was autumn, cold weather hit you when you stopped at the terrace and you stood next to sevika smiling gently "you're having fun?" you asked her looking at her, sevika raised her eyebrow and huffed "aren't you cold?" she asked looking at your outfit up and down. you shrugged "i'll be fine, I will back to the house in a moment" you replied looking at sevika when she lighted her cigarette and she put it to her lips and she wrapped her muscular hand around your waist, pulling you close to her to keep you warm, at least for a moment

your check went slightly pink because of the cold but also because of the feeling sevika arm around you and her hand on your waist. "yeah" sevika murmured her response to your question then she pulled out of her lips the cigarette rolling her head to sideways and she blew smoke from her mouth while she do it your gaze slipped softly do sevika's lips and your mind started to wondering how her lips would feel against yours you didn't know but sevika's thoughts where exactly the same she was wondering god knows how long how your lips would feel against her, how soft would be your neck while she would prepare it with her kisses. without even noticing you came closer to sevika maybe you did it because you weren't thinking while looking at her lips or the alcohol you drank added your body some confidence to do what you wanted for a long time.

"you have a beautiful lips" you murmured under your breath, sevika's eyes widened slightly and she felt her heart beat faster for a moment, quickly she smirked and looked at you "oh yeah?" she answered cocky and the smell of cigarettes filled your nostrils "you know your lips are pretty too, they look really kissable" she said and you giggled "you wanna find out is that true?" you asked and when sevika heard those words she dropped her cigarette, you didn't even have a moment to react and her lips where already on your while she pressed her body against your, her hand tightened on your waist even more and her second hand embraced the back of your neck missing you softly.

you grinned when she started kissing you and you replied with the same gentle kiss, sevika kissed you like she was exploring softly new territory, excited and happiness filled your body just like hers. you wrapped your arms gently around sevika's neck bringing her closer to you. now you could respond to your question, her lips against your feels…amazing and you wish you could kiss those lips every day until you'll die.

sevika slowly moved away and her gaze immediately went to your eyes and she smiled, letting out a breath as the tension disappeared from her body as she did what she had wanted for a long time as she approached you; to kiss your lips "I like the taste of yours lips on mine" she said softly and you giggled "yeah, I can say that about yours too". for a moment you two were silent, just looking at each other's eyes.

sevika looked around and kissed the corner of your lips "you want to get to a warmer place, darlin'?" she asked and you nodded immediately answering "god, yes let's get out of here". The two of you grabbed your own hands together and returned to Ran's house to go upstairs. music was playing in the background and you could hear other people talking and laughing but you couldn't even care while sevika's hand were around yours and you two were going upstairs.

you entered the first room you found and sevika closed the door behind you two. your eyes met and sevika wrapped her arms around your waist bringing you again closer to her. you could feel that your heart was buzzing with excitement. sevika smiled looking at you and her thumb crossed a gentle circles on your waist. you leaned closer to her and you closed your lips in kiss this time it wasn't as soft as the first time, now it was more confident.

sevika's tongue brushed against your lower lip as if asking for access to your mouth, you let sevika's tongue slipped into your mouth and she started exploring your soft lips. at the feeling you let a soft quiet moan and you felt how sevika's hand tighten on your waist when she heard it.

unfortunately sevika pulled away and looked into your eyes "wait" she said and took a deep breath before she started speaking "before we will continue…this. I want to know if you really want this, sweetheart, If not I won't do anything without your permiss-" you cut her speaking with a kiss on her mouth. sevika raised her eyebrows "did you just kiss me to shut me up?" she asked and you shrugged "no?" you said with a smirk on your face. sevika huffed and rolled her eyes playfully

"sevy" you started with one of her nicknames you often used "I drank alcohol but i'm not that drunk to not have control over my body, yes i want to do it and I want you to continue this" while you were speaking sevika listen you carefully. she smiled and leaned to you "good, 'cause I want you to remember I'm gonna do to you right now" she whispered to your ear with her sultry voice and your body shivered.

she pulled you into a kiss, her lips where donating over yours and she started to tugging you into a bad which was at the end of the room. after a moment you felt a soft mattress under you and you could felt sevika's smile on your lips. you wrapped your arms around her neck while kissing her teasing the taste of her mouth. the heat between you two started to be more intense and overwhelming

"vika, I-…I want you" you whimpered into her lips and you could hear a soft little moan that escape sevika's lips. "I know, baby, I want you too" she murmured into your lips and she moved away just enough to look at you. both of you were looking into each other's eyes.

sevika's rough, sultry, hoarse voice filled the room when she started to speak looking straight into your eyes "I want to taste you, darlin'" she murmured and you smiled. with a smile on your face you started to take off your white top while keeping eye contact with sevika all the time. sevika growled when she saw that you do it really slowly just to tease her, she put her hands on yours and helps you to take faster your top off of you, her gaze leaned on your white bra with a bow between your tits and her lips stretched into a smirk

"you like it, huh?" you asked in a testing voice "you don't even know how much, baby" she murmured. she leaned closer to your neck and started to shower it firstly with soft kisses but the longer she was kissing you the passionately her kisses were getting. you moaned and placed your hand on her back. you could feel how sevika's hand on the back of your bra was unbuttoning it, easily taking it off of you and she threw your bra somewhere behind you two, she didn't even care where it would fall.

one of her large hand cupped your breast and you moaned feeling the heat that was between you two. you slipped your hands underneath sevika's shirt and tugged at it "sevika, take if off" you whimpered to her "no way in hell that you're undressing me and you'll stay in your clothes" sevika chuckled at your words, she kissed you on your lips and her hand squeezed your breast before she moved away and with a quick move she took off her shirt with a smirk on her lips clearly knowing you wanted to see her naked as much as she wanted to see you naked and beneath her.

"Whatever you say, baby" she said with a smile on her face and you could see a twinkle in her eye with excitement.

you rolled your eyes playfully seeing her that smirk and you grabbed her by her shoulders and you attracted her to another sloppy, passionate kiss. it wasn't that long until sevika started to kiss your neck again, then your shoulders, she went even lower having her head now between your breasts she she moved her head towards the right side and she filled your nipple with her lips sucking on it while her hand trapped your left breast and squeezed it and you let out a moan at the movement's

you felt how sevika bite your breast not enough to hurt you but enough to feel it, then with a crack she left her lips from your nipple and started to kiss your body lower, lower and lower showing to every centimeter of your body her love to you and how much. she worshiped you. you could feel how your core started to clench around nothing and pulsing turned on by sevika's movement. you couldn't wait when sevika would wrap her lips around your pussy and eat you out.

"sev" you moaned and you moved your hips frustrated and horny "please" you whimpered to her and you heard sevika's lower chuckle. "please what, baby? use words from the pretty mouth of you" she said smiling waiting for you to say what she really wanted to hear. "I need you, I need you sevika…please, sevy" you said to her and she smiled at your words "good" she murmured and she slipped her hands to your skirt and started to remove it off of you "legs up, darling" she said to you and you do it. With a quick move she removed it from you and threw it away.

sevika's gaze leaned on your light underwear and saw a small patch of your visible arousal, she smiled and the view and chuckled "damn, girl, you are already wet" she teased you and you moaned feeling a shiver that comes down to your core "shut up, sev, don't tease me" you whimpered to her. right now at this moment the only thing you wanted and needed is sevika between your legs.

sevika smiled and she slid off the bed only to kneel between your spread legs, she couldn't just wait to lay down her mouth on your clit but you have to wait just a little longer. she wrapped her muscular arms around your thighs and she pulled you closer to her and thanks to it sevika's head was between your inner thighs and you could even feel her breath on your skin.

"sevika" you moaned and slipped your hand to her black hair and she purred in approval at the move "hm?" she murmured looking up to you and your eyes looked down. god damn, sevika looked so hot between your legs you could come just by looking at her between your legs in front of your wet clint.

"…please" you whimpered and both of you couldn't wait any longer. sevika slid one of her hand under the waistband of your underwear and took off your underwear after a while. now while you were laying in front of her, naked, she'd felt a shiver down her spine as a wave of excitement, arousal and desire flooded her body.

"im gonna take care of you now, okay baby?" sevika said to you and without waiting for you response she leaned closer to your pussy and she covered your pussy with her lips. you moaned and the new feeling of sevika's lips on your pussy, it felt so good that the only thing your mind could think and focus is sevika between your legs and her mouth on your pussy.

At first, her sucking and licking was slow, as if she was enjoying her favorite dessert but when she felt how you tugged her by her hair as a quiet 'faster' she smirked and murmured between her licks "you want faster, baby, yeah?" you only could moan at her words and push her face further into your pussy

sevika moaned too and she didn't hesitate to go faster. her tongue rode between your folds then her mouth sucked your package. she was fully enjoying herself just by teasing you. you could feel how your orgasm started to come and you moaned "sevika…sevika, i'm close" you said to her and you only felt how her tongue started to work even faster sending a whole new heat towards your body.

to add more pleasure for you, sevika placed her thumb on your clit and started circling it. you moaned at the feeling and your thighs started to tremble a little showing that you are getting closer to orgasm, sevika notice's it and smiled murmured into your clit without stopping her movements "c'mon, sweetheart, come for me" she murmured and only a few moment's It was enough for you to come with a moan, barely able to keep from closing your legs around Sevika's face.

you groaned, rolling your eyes back as you laid your head on the mattress as you recovered from your orgasm trying to steady your breath. sevika smiled looking up at you observing how your body reacted after she brought you pleasure. she got up from her knees and leaned over until she was above you, with a smile on her face she leaned and kissed you on your lips and you could tease the feeling of your pleasure.

"you're the prettiest mess, baby" sevika whispered to you and gave you a kiss on the forehead. You smiled softly at her words and sighed after the orgasm. but then you tense up a little remembering that…both of you haven't told each other anything yet whether you are friends or... maybe something more, but after all of this you could sense that sevika wanted you as much as you wanted her.

"…sevika" you stated, sevika hearing you didn't call her by one of her nicknames that you gave her she frowned a little and became more serious "yeah, baby?" she asked so easily using one of the pet names she knew you loved.

"what...what are we?" you asked her. you were thinking that she would tense like you but no, she only smiled even more and chuckled slightly "you know what we are you just want to hear it" she said to you and leaned closer to you. her gaze slipped down to your lips and then to your eyes "I love you" she said with a gentle look at her eyes and you could feel happiness on your chest. "i love you too, sevy" you replied to her and kissed her gently on her lips "…so we're girlfriends?" you whispered and sevika nodded with a big, delicate smile on her face "yeah. you're my girlfriend, baby" she said to you and she captured your lips in a kiss to seal her words.

[solelifauna]

With Bared Teeth & Prayers (Yandere Batfam X Neglected Reader) (Dark!!! Werewolf AU) (PT. 1)

TW: Mentions/allusions to cannibalism, death, and violence.

Three years had passed since that fateful day and your life had only gotten more miserable. Whatever hopes you had for being a part of a family were thwarted as soon as you stepped foot in the household. Bruce doesn't care about you, Dick was straight up mean, Jason (as the pack protector) was aggressive, Tim found you annoying, and Damien simply loathed your existence and would join Dick with his cruelty.

Both Stephanie and Barbara were civil with you, but neither really cared about what you did. Cassandra was nice, sometimes signing to you and giving you scented clothing, but she still didn't really go out of her way to engage with you. The only person who you felt truly cared about you was Alfred.

The first two years you tried your hardest to fit in and get the others to like you. You did whatever they wanted, made sure to learn their interests so you could talk to them, never complained, and made sure to respect the pack's boundaries.

You hoped that eventually, you’d all move past this hurdle and soon you would get along and be allowed in the pack den and other pack activities. Unfortunately, you realized that you would never be considered part of the family or the pack. Which as heartbreaking as it was, was the least of your worries.

You see, there was an ancient custom in werewolf culture concerning new pack members and pack initiation. When a new werewolf is introduced to a pack and their territory, the new werewolf has a certain amount of time to be accepted into the pack; if they’re not, well, they're killed and eaten. 

Yeah… quite terrifying and barbaric if you think about it, but mostly only the old lineages still continue this practice. Which is why you’re absolutely fucked. See, typically when children come to a pack they get accepted immediately, pups were (usually) considered precious.

In your case, being a half-blood severely reduced your chances and well, you guessed the Wayne family just didn't like you. Which sucks because you only have until your 18th birthday to get them to accept you, and considering your 16th birthday was coming up, your time was coming to a close. 

Or, you could always just run away. Hey! It was an option, one that you weren't sure the Bats would even let happen. Still it was worth a try. Which leads to your current situation in Bruce's office; you were trying to cut your losses a little early.

~~~~~~

“Look, I just feel as though this is the best course of action for your pack’s and my own safety.” Came your exasperated and desperate voice.

“Safety?” Bruce questions, causally flipping through some Wayne Industries documents, as if he doesn't know exactly what you're talking about.

“Considering Damian’s tried to kill me five times, two of his attempts almost being successful, and Jason's pit aggression that has him ready to rip my throat out, you can see why someone would feel unsafe.” You state, voice raising slightly in pitch.

He hummed noncommittally, his eyes still focusing on whatever paperwork he was going over.

“I'll think about it.” He replies, still disinterested.

“There’s nothing to think about! I should be allowed to leave if I want to, and if anything I'll finally be out of your pack's way.” You say, finally letting your frustration show through.

Why couldn't he just let you leave? Did he seriously want to keep you here just to kill– sorry, eat you in another two years?

“Excuse me?” He finally looks up from his work, his blue eyes meeting yours. He was unimpressed, you could tell that much at least, coupled with a dark look of simmering anger.

Okay, so maybe you should tone it down a notch.

“Come on, I'm not an idiot. I know me being here is simply a public formality, good fluff bits for the press y'know. But I'm not part of your family, and I'm certainly not part of your pack. You and the others have made that very clear. So please, allow me to do us both a favor and get out of your way.” You add.

“Where would you go?”

“Huh?” You blink in surprise.

“Where would you go?” Bruce repeats again.

“That–that is honestly none of your concern.”

“None of my concern? Aren't I entitled to know where my kid is?”

“No, you’re not. Sure you're biologically considered my father, but we all know I'm not really considered your kid.”

“Is that what you think?” He questions.

“Am I supposed to think any differently?”

“You carry the Wayne surname do you not?”

“I do.”

“Then you belong to the Waynes. To me. Which means that I decide what happens to you.”

There was the familiar darkness that you saw pooling in Bruce’s eyes, the type that left the Joker a tortured mess, the type that disemboweled Ra’s Al Ghul, the type of darkness that reminded you that Batman doesn’t kill. Oh no, he maims and tortures instead.

You unconsciously take a careful step back. 

Bruce’s stare felt like ice, and his words hung in the air, thick and heavy with an authority that was absolute. You wanted to argue, to say something, but every instinct in your body screamed for caution. There was a darkness in his gaze that you had seen glimpses of before, but never directed at you, and now it was there, unblinking, cutting through any hope you’d harbored for mercy or understanding.

Your heart hammered, yet you forced yourself to stand straighter, swallowing down the instinctive fear. 

“With all due respect,” you began, your voice smaller than you intended but steady, “staying here for another two years just for you all to—to follow through with that—custom, doesn’t seem fair.”

Bruce’s expression didn’t soften, but his posture shifted slightly, his gaze piercing through you like he could see every thought you tried to hide. 

“Belonging is earned. It isn’t granted because of blood,” he stated coldly. “If you truly wish to belong somewhere, you work for it.”

“I’ve tried,” you said, voice thick with frustration. “I’ve tried everything. I’ve followed your rules, I tried with everyone, and stayed out of everyone’s way. But nothing I do is good enough.”

“You assume that acceptance is given on your terms,” he replied, voice as controlled as ever. “Pack structure doesn’t bend to anyone’s whims. Least of all a half-blood who hasn’t proven their loyalty.”

The words stung, tearing open a wound that you thought had scarred over. You clenched your fists, feeling the sharp ache of your own nails digging into your palms. “And what exactly does proving myself look like here? Surviving Damian’s attacks? Letting Jason rip me apart every chance he gets?”

“Watch your tone,” he warned, his voice low, cutting through any retort you’d planned.

You took a shaky breath, forcing yourself to take another step back from his desk. Challenging him wouldn’t help. He’d already decided where you stood, and nothing you said would change that. Maybe it was better to save your energy, conserve your strength for the day you’d finally slip away.

“Understood,” you said, swallowing the bitterness in your throat. “If that’s how it is, then I’ll stay out of everyone’s way.”

 But you’d still leave when the time comes.

Bruce’s gaze hardened, like he knew what you were thinking. “Your place is here until I decide otherwise,” he said, a finality in his tone that told you any further argument would only worsen things.

He dismissed you with a look, returning to his papers as if the conversation were over, as if you were no longer there. Every step you took out of the office felt heavier, like the manor itself was holding you down, binding you to this place that was never truly a home.

As you closed the door behind you, the cold emptiness of the hallway wrapped around you, and you knew then—you were on your own. If you were to survive this, it would be on your own terms.

It's like clockwork when Alfred calls you down for dinner. The same time, the same routine.

You show  up to dinner, hands still shaking and mind still reeling from your disturbingly cryptic conversation with Bruce. But, never mind that you’d just eat quietly and leave like you always do. You moved to your normal seat only to find that all the chairs near the end of the table had disappeared. What the actual fuck. Was this some type of powerplay? Something to imply that you didn’t even have a seat at their table anymore? 

You mean, you wouldn't mind eating in the safety and comfort of your own room. With an exasperated sigh, which had a couple of heads turn their attention to you, you grabbed an empty plate and started loading it up with food. You were about to head back to your room when you heard an outraged growl from behind you.

The kind of growl that had you tensing, ready to submit and roll onto your back.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Jason growled out from behind you.

You freeze.

“To my room?” You responded meekly, curling in on yourself as much as you could.

“And pray tell, why do you think that’d be acceptable?”

“Uh–um, ‘cause my seats’ gone?”

Jason only smirked, the feral kind that almost always promised pain to his enemies.

“Oh, but your chair isn't gone, it's right here.” Jason says pointing to a chair right near the head of the table.

You blanked. That's not right. Only pack was allowed that close to the head of the table, where Bruce sat, where the pack leader sat.

“B-But, I can’t–”

“Did that sound like a suggestion?”

You shook your head no, swallowing down a whimper that almost escaped your lungs.

“Then sit your ass down,” Jason growled.

He didn't have to tell you twice.

Immediately you shakily sat down in your new seat, on the left side of Bruce’s seat at the head of the table with Jason sitting at your left shoulder and Dick across from you. Not good, not good at all. You could feel the acidic, green gaze of Jason burning into the side of your face whilst Dick languidly sipped his wine, a sickeningly sweet smile (with way too many teeth to be considered anything but malicious), plastered on his face as he stared at the new seating chart. You let out a shaky breath, trying to get your heart rate back to normal; you were so gonna die tonight.

Thankfully, Bruce arrived and sat himself in his seat at the head of the table; right next to you. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on getting air in your lungs and slowing your racing heart. Unbeknownst to you, Bruce shot a knowing stare at the rest of the table. As much as you tried to conceal it, they could all hear your rapidly fluttering heartbeat and your poorly hidden breathing. Tim and Jason both watched you amused; you looked so darn pathetic, sitting there trembling like a leaf. 

You glanced down at your plate, picking at the food without really tasting it, hoping that staying silent would help you melt into the background.

Bruce, however, remained still and silent, his presence looming over you, radiating the authority that seemed to keep everyone else in check. But even that felt like a facade; the way his gaze lingered on you for a split second too long told you he was watching closely, assessing.

You forced yourself to take a bite, trying to steady your hands enough to appear somewhat composed. But the sound of your own heartbeat seemed to echo in your ears, loud and unrelenting, as if amplifying the anxiety that twisted in your gut. They could hear it too; you knew that much from the way Jason’s smirk deepened, from the way Tim’s lips twitched with barely-contained laughter.

As the dinner dragged on, every clink of a fork, every quiet murmur, felt like it was directed at you. The food turned to ash in your mouth, each bite only reminding you of the eyes trained on you, dissecting you with every chew and every breath.

The rest of the dinner passed in strained silence, every second an endurance test as you forced yourself to stay seated, to keep your head down. When Bruce finally pushed his chair back and dismissed everyone, the wave of relief was almost enough to make you lightheaded. Quick as a whip, you practically ran up the stairs towards the safety and solace of your room.

When you make it, the locks on your door are immediately fastened (not that it would do much if anyone wanted to actually force their way in). You exhale in relief as you try to collect your thoughts. Fuck, everything was going to shit; the worst part being you had school tomorrow (which thankfully you did not go to Gotham Prep; you'd kill yourself if you did). You groaned at the thought, digging the heels of your palms into your eyes to relieve the ache shooting through them.

Looks like another night of shitty sleep.

Taglist!!: @lostsomewhereinthegarden, @the-rouge-robin, @confused-they

[lilacgaby]

prohero!bakugo but you, his wife, were kidnapped.

you sat in a dark room, the dripping of water the only sound you heard. your eyes were blindfolded, your hands restrained behind your back as you were bound to a pipe on the floor. the smell of blood filled your nostrils and you resisted the urge to gag.

"she's awake." a strange, gnarly voice you never heard before said, before ripping the blindfold of your eyes, a different man beside him shining a flashlight directly into your face.

you didn't wanna know what you saw in the corner of your eye, unmoving and surrounded by a puddle. but you were broken out of your thoughts by a voice:

"so, girlie, wanna tell us what your husbands weakness is? he put a bunch of our gang in prison some while ago, so we want him dead." a guy with a scar across his face questioned.

as you stayed silent, he pulled your hair, yanking your head forwards to look at him. "answer me, and we won't have to get ugly."

you glared at him, your eyebrows scrunching in annoyance, "no way, eat shit and die." at your words, the man slammed your head against the wall brutally, leaving a dent in the wall, and your head bloodied.

"looks like you'll be trouble huh? i'll ask you again, what's your husbands weakness?"

as you again refused to answer, the other man slapped you across the face. "maybe his next wife will learn to listen. but we'll keep you alive for a bit longer, maybe you'll have a change of heart."

they stood back, admiring their work on you. your nose was broken now, the smell of your own blood apparent to you now as it dripped over your face. your head was pounding as you struggled to stay awake.

"katsuki.." you muttered wearily under your breath, making the two men laugh at you. as you fought off tears off pain.. or was it embarrassment? you didn't know as the two feelings started to blur together.

you knew you just had to hold on. just for a second longer, he'd come for you. the tears dried up but her will didn't, even as the hours passed with no sign of katsuki.

"did your little husband forget you girl? guess you weren't as precious as we thought." the men laughed.

"y-you're wrong. he's coming, and you'll regret this." you mustered, making the men smirk. "oh yeah?"

"fuck yeah." a voice echoed through the compound, accompanied by the sound of a concentrated explosion blasting through the walls.

one of the men, shook up by his sudden appearance, and look of pure unadulterated anger, tried to run off. the other grabbed you, trying to use you as a shield for his next explosion, but katsuki just used it as an opening for a direct hit, sending him flying into the other man, rendering them both useless.

katsuki then ran over to you, untying you from your confines, and looked over you, gently grabbing your face in his hands. "shit, babe.. 'm sorry."

"you came.. i knew you would."

he took you into his arms, getting you back to safety. after this, he'd never want to let you out of his sights again, he just felt so worried, so anxious for what could happen.

but as you two held eachother, the thoughts and fears were all calmed by the feeling of your bodies in tandem.

[moonlight-records]

Rich Boys Don't Have Hearts | LN4

pairing: Jock!Lando Norris x Nerd!Reader

summary: Formula Ivy Academy, or FIA for short, is the most renowned private in the world who takes such a select few. Usually those from wealth with status and secrets and so much to lose. Yet, you are selected to join the FIA on a full scholarship. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain scares a lot students, especially their star athlete who will do anything to protect those he cares about. Though, he didn't expect you to have as much of a...bite to you for a little nobody.

warning: cursing, bribery, jealously, angst (ig???), possessive!lando maybe??? def ooc Lando at points i know it, leclerc & reeader are besties, open ending??? maybe???

fc: none!

wc: 4.4K

current | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

Formula Ivy Academy was the most renowned private school tucked away in Monaco for the brightest people. Whether that was inventors, politicians, artists, thinkers, or athletes was anybody’s guess since FIA was very hush hush about what happens behind their walls. Which, in theory, should be the first sign not to get involved with a school like that. With the amount of money, fame, and reputation of how secretive this academy was, why the hell would anybody want to go there?

Well, anybody who wanted to be anybody, obviously.

Everybody and anybody tried to get in. Thousands of applications went in every semester. Most applications that were submitted were from those that came from wealth that expanded to celebrities and even royalty applied and were rejected.

The rest of the world only dreamed of going there and some had the balls to apply though they knew that they would be rejected. They didn’t have the funds to cover even a quarter of the tuition cost. The only way most people would be able to get in was on a full ride scholarship and according to rumors, full ride scholarships to FIA was like winning the lottery. A one in a million chance for most people. It seemed that FIA was painfully selective about who they let in.

Yet, you were that one in a million person who got accepted into FIA with a full ride.

“Who is she?”

“I think that’s the new girl.”

“Really? She’s really pretty, how come she’s never been here before?”

“Rumor is she’s not from wealth.”

A few gasps erupted, “What?! How did she get in?”

“Full. Ride.” There were some murmurs, “apparently she was valedictorian at her high school and she applied and the school was impressed. She has to keep her GPA at least a 3.5 to keep her scholarship and,” there was a pause and throat cleaning, “she needs it if she’s going to stay.”

You roll your eyes hearing these girls before shaking your head. Casting your gaze at them the group quickly realized that they were talking much louder than attended and quickly scattered. You sigh softly while shaking your head because it was tiring.

You’ve been listening to the whispers and murmurs about yourself for almost a month straight since moving into the dorms back in August. The only places you found peace was in your dorm, since FIA had been so nice to accommodate you with a single room dorm so you can avoid that whole roommate thing, and the vast walls of the library but alas, instead you found yourself walking through campus as more people look and whisper.

You’re cutting through the green to get to your dorm building when a larger pair of Jordan clad feet fell into step besides yours. The pace was deliberate and rhythmic to match yours. You didn’t have to look over to know who it was. You stayed silent and forced your neck to look the other way though it’s no use. Everyone is looking at you and the new found walking partner though when you met their gaze they looked away. You let out a silent huff before craning your neck like a flower turning to the sun but the sun was actually the most annoying boy to ever roam campus who was 1 of FIA’s 20 star athletes and apparently, you’re upstairs neighbor that you try to avoid the best you can. He’s smiling, curly hair unruly, green and white jersey with his lucky ‘4’ on the front and his iconic gray sweatpants.

“Well, if it isn’t ‘Miss Popular’. You know I was getting a bit worried that you had already left before I got the chance to really know you.”

“First off, don’t call me ‘Miss Popular’ because I’m not,” you roll your eyes, “second you can’t get me to leave that fast. I’m sure the whispers and rumors about me are going to die down rather fast considering I think people are realizing that there really isn’t a lot going for me.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t have wealth like that nor do I care. I’m here to get my degree, make connections, and get a head start on my career and I plan to make sure that happens,” you glance at Lando then forward again, “There’s not much to me.” You shrug as you enter the building and you head down your hall towards your room.

“Bullshit.”

You scoff and look over at Lando, “excuse me?”

“I said bullshit. I don’t think that’s the real reason you’re here.” Lando stares down at you, “I doubt you’re just some random insanely smart person who got in with an amazing application. Celebrities and even royalties themselves get rejected but they let you in? Full ride? Just because they like you?” He scoffs. “But fine. Let’s go with that story but I highly fucking doubt that you’re going to keep your head down and just mind your business for the next four years. There’s a lot that happens here at FIA, a lot that would be rather dangerous if it got out. A lot of reputations on the line.” Holding out a stack of cash, “Maybe it would be for the best if you left, don’t you think?”

You stare at Lando in disbelief. Lando’s known as one of the friendliest athletes on campus. He’s always smiling and laughing and making everyone feel welcomed. Even you, the rare times you spoke before this moment but it became crystal clear in this moment that it was nothing more than a ruse to bribe you out of this school and this life. For what? Protecting the students' reputations? You could care less about your classmates and what they do in their spare time. It was none of your business and honestly you probably would forget about most of them and any scandalizing thing they do now.

But Lando wouldn’t believe that and it upset you more because it made sense. You were a nobody who got accepted into the most renowned school that was super selective. Everyone here had three things: money, power, and secrets. You have none of those. You are just a simple person with a simple life that really just wanted to further your education and make a better life for yourself so you didn’t have to worry when you grew older. Pay your parents back for all the sacrifices they made for you. Give back to your friends who saved you when you were drowning…or jumped in so you weren’t drowning alone. Unlike everyone else who had everything to lose and nothing really to gain, you had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

You stare at the stack of cash in Lando’s hand trying to mentally count how much was there, “How much—”

“100,000 in USD,” Lando finishes, “more than enough for you I’m sure. Unless you want me to just pay for whatever school you transfer to, I can do that as well.”

“No, no, the cash is fine—”

Lando smiles wider, “I th—”

You reach out for the money before slamming your hand down. The bills go everywhere as they fall from Lando’s hand and the Brit is stunned. His eyes widen as he stares at you in pure shock before his face darkens.

“IF I was shallow and had no self respect,” you snap back, “how dare you try to bribe me? You probably wouldn’t believe this but I actually do not give a single care about you or any other student on this campus. All you guys care about is your fame, your wealth, and the carefree lifestyles that you all get to have. Unlike you all, I actually have to work for my shit and I will continue doing that. I don’t have time to collect evidence of all these scandals and sell them to news outlets. Besides, I need connections so the last thing I want to do is ruin that chance by breaking the number one unofficial rule of FIA which is what happens within FIA walls stays within FIA walls. What do you take me for? A shallow tool?” Looking Lando up and down, you sneer slightly, “You know what you can do for me, Lando?”

“What?” The Brit snaps.

“You can take your cash and shove it up your fucking ass right along with the lacrosse stick that’s been wedge up there,” you give him a mocking smile, “have the day you deserve.” You turn, flipping Lando off as you continue down the hall before going into your dorm, slamming it behind you. Finally, tears spill past and you clamp a hand around your mouth to silence your cries. You stumble to your bed, vision blurry before crumbling against it, hiding your face into your comfort, sobbing as the weight of Lando’s words settles.

Nobody wants you here. Nobody trusts you nor likes you. To them, you’re nothing more than an outsider who was going to ruin all their reputations. Obviously, someone like you just could not be here to further your education and take this chance to connect and get a huge head start down your career path. That was all just some ruse to really make a quick buck off the rich and their bullshit drama. That you will never be accepted by them and you should quit while you’re ahead. Another sob rips out of your throat as you bury your face further, body shaking, trying so hard to will yourself to stop crying but it was so hard as a month worth of worry and pains had manifested as the cold hard truth and the reality was heartbreaking.

Then it dawned on you. It wasn’t bullshit. What was bullshit was the fact Lando thought you were so shallow. Actually, it was bullshit the entire campus thought you were that shallow. Are they so self absorbed that they really assumed you had applied just to expose what goes on behind the walls of FIA? God, you needed money but you weren’t that desperate for money. Unlike them, you actually gave a fuck about what you wanted to do in life. Especially because you were happily picking something that wouldn’t be destroyed so easily by mere rumors or a single photo to destroy your entire reputation. You didn’t care how much you got to gain to expose all of them, especially Lando after that lovely chat, because that’s what they expected of you. Instead, you were going to completely ignore them. Prove them wrong. Prove Lando wrong.

Settling, you sit there for a bit before slowly lifting your head. You ignore the oncoming headache or the fact your face is wet and puffy. You sniffle softly before patting yourself down and pull your phone out with slightly shaky hands. Arthur Leclerc was a rare friend you had. Well, you assume anyway but now you weren’t sure as you text him.

Do you hate me?-YN

Y/N, how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t hate you. Nor does Mick, Ollie, Kimi, or Charlie.-AL

Well, Lando just tried to give me 100K in USD to get me to leave the school since everyone hates me and nobody trusts me and that I’m here to expose everyone for money and not for my education and to get a head start of my career.-YN

…He fucking did what?-AL

Yeah.-YN

Oh my god. I’m going to punch him at practice. Actually, I have piano so I won’t be at practice—I’ll have Charlie do it. No, he won’t—Kimi will-AL

No-YN

Don’t ‘no’ me! Y/N! You just told me that Lando bribed you because the rest of the school doesn’t trust you for some stupid fucking reason! Also, I know that you were actually warming up to Lando for this to be the reason? Oh god I should tell the couch! I’m going to tell coach—AL

No. No, I don’t need any more issues than already. I just…I just need reassure that you actually like for who I am-YN

Of course I do Y/N. Me, Charlie, Mick, Ollie. We adore you. You’re a breath of fresh air to us, really. You remind us that not everyone is stuck up and snooty and loves to be careless and wild because money and fame will save them. You remind us to slow down and enjoy the moments. You remind us to do things that we love even if nobody else cares because we enjoy the things we love. I promise, we wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world.AL

Arthur…that’s so sweet I might cry again but I won’t.-YN

It’s okay to cry!! I can come over with ice cream and blankets for cuddles-AL

No no, it’s fine. I don’t think I have any tears left. I kind of let out a month’s worth of sadness just out, so, I’m good but I might take you up on the offer for ice cream and blankets after your piano practice-YN

Okay, yeah. God Y/N. I’m so sorry this happened to you.-AL

It’s fine. I’m kind of upset Lando did this privately because the look of shock on his face when I smacked the money out of his hand was priceless.-YN

You WHAT?! Oh my god! You didn’t tell me that!!!-AL

Yeah well, I’m done being sad. I’m angry now.-YN

Anyway, yeah he basically found me. Walked me to the dorms asking if I was avoiding him and stuff. I had said that I just wanna focus on my education and get a jump start at my career and he literally was like ‘bullshit’. I was like ummm what?? Yeah so he goes on about how im a threat and all this—me, the nobody but whatever—and he was giving me cash or offering to pay the tuition of the school I would transfer to in full if it meant leaving since I’m just a wee peasant who’s only here to gossip and get paid by the news and get the school shut down. So I was like, “oh no the cash is fine”…-YN

Oh my god. What did he say?-AL

Oh he was gonna go on that I was making the right choice before I smack the money out of his hand. Man he was pissed-YN

I could imagine.-AL

Arthur, when I tell you watching his face darken out of anger was—kinda scary. Though mama ain’t raised a bitch so. I went off about how I can’t believe he thinks I’m shallow and that I truly could care less about my classmates and that I need these connections so why would I risk losing those connections by outing everyone, ya know???-YN

Oh I know.-AL

Thank you! So then I was like “you know what you can do for me” and he was like “what?!” all snappy and shit. I told him he can pick his money up and shove it right up his ass along with his lacrosse stick and have the day he deserves and the I flipped him off as I left…then I broke down and cried and now we’re here-YN

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR THAT!!! AS YOU SHOULD! Oh my god, I am buying you dinner for that because that is amazing. Also, Lando can go fuck himself and I will personally make sure it happens at practice.-AL

Arthur!-YN

It’s fine! I already laid out that Charles is just to make Lando go a bit insane. No physical harm, all mental.-AL

…Fine. Only because there’s no way I can convince either of you to not do anything-YN

You’re learning! Okay, I have to run but I will see you later tonight. You don’t have to, considering how news gets out around here but, Charlie would like to see you at some point just to make sure you’re okay so, just show a sign of life to him? Please? I’ll cover the ice-cream if you do-AL

I will, promise.-YN

Alright, see you see y/n!-AL

You too, Arthur.-YN

It’s only been 20 minutes since your conversation with Arthur and you really didn’t want to leave your dorm let alone the field after everything that happened. You had finally found the energy to climb into bed curled up under the comfort while staring at the wall before frowning. You know that if you didn’t Charles would go insane with worry and blow up both your phone and Arthur’s and you really didn’t want to upset the only rare few people in your corner. Sighing, you force yourself out of your bed and go through your closet.

The school had uniforms that students must wear to classes. Outside of classes, students were free to wear whatever they wanted and you chose a baggy hoodie with a t-shirt underneath and fuzzy pajama pants that had snoopy all over them. Sliding your crocs on, you grabbed your keys, phone, headphones, and lanyard with your ID before heading out of your dorm and to the field. Putting your headphones on, you gently bobbed your head to the beat of the music as you crossed the green towards the field. Seeing the empty bleachers, you make your way up the ramp as you look out at the field.

There were the two lacrosse nets at the opposite ends of the field. The boys were lingering around the benches as they all chatted among themselves with five minutes to spare in this break. You scan among them, thankful that none of them spotted you. Expect the one that was sitting on the bench away, staring at a small group down. You saw the ‘16’ on the jersey and knew exactly who it was. You straightened up slightly when the player turned and saw you before lighting up like a child on Christmas and scrambling over to you, almost tripping over his own two feet.

“Mon chérie, there you are. I was worried you weren’t going to show that I was about to start calling for a sign of life,” Charles grins as he stands below the bleachers laughing softly. You can’t help the small smile that appears on your face as you lean over the edge of the bleachers looking down at Charles.

“Sorry, I was just—gathering myself.”

“I could imagine,” Charles frowns. “I truly am sorry that happened to you,” Charles whispers. “Just say the words and I will tell the coach or I can punch him. Really, I am angry enough to go through with it.”

“No you don’t have to punch him or tell coach,” you reassure Charles, “I think me slapping the money out of his hand, telling him off, telling him to shove the money up his ass, and flipping him off while telling him to have the day he deserves is probably enough.” You smile, “besides, I have no plans on transferring at all. Especially not after this. Him having to see my face should be enough of a hell for him.”

Charles laughs breathlessly while smiling up at you, “You truly are something else Y/N.” He grins while shaking his head, “Arthur mentioned something about ice-cream and blankets?” He questions.

You go to answer but feel someone just staring at you. Casting your gaze up you lock eyes with the sea green eyes staring at you. It seems that you and Lando are in a stare off that neither of you intend to lose but you only forfeit when you hear Charles scoff below you. “Charles,” you murmur softly and Charles looks up at you, a slight pout on his face, “please be nice so you can join Arthur and I and probably the others for ice-cream and cuddles. That’s what we mean by blankets.”

Charles gasps softly, “and I can join?!”

“If,” you start, “you leave Lando alone.”

Charles narrows his eyes at you and weighs his options, “okay, deal.”

“Leclerc!” Lando shouts, voice clipped, “lets go! No more talking!”

“Duty calls,” Charles murmurs and you shake your head, murmuring to Charles that it’ll be fine. You sit in the stands and switch between watching the practice and looking at your phone. You stand up when the coach blows the whistle to have the team come in to wrap practice up. You make your way off the bleachers and linger at the entrance of track as the team all heads to the bench to gather their things. You watch Charles swiftly grab his water bottle and bag before making his way over to you.

“You did it!” You applaud happily, “you survived practice and didn’t kill him.”

“I know, I know. Took a lot of self control,” Charles murmurs as he steps closer, “I’m pretty sure he was targeting me after seeing me talk to you. The audacity of him, can you believe that?”

“I could, sadly,” you roll your eyes, “he’s an ass. Just ignore him. Why don’t you get change and I’ll wait here and we can then head back to my dorm together?” You offer, “Arthur said he’d bring the ice-cream and Mick would bring the blankets.”

“Okay, I’ll be right out!” Charles says and is off.

You watch him leave and smile slightly before looking away and nearly jumping at Lando who just spawns in front of you. You look up at the Brit and all the emotions from early claw at your throat for an escape. You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to curse him out. You want to ask him why. There are so many questions in your head and you know that no matter what, you won’t get any answers so you settle for this stare off with Lando, even if your neck gets a cramp.

The silence is finally broken by Lando, “What were you talking to Charles about?” His voice is cold and icy. It almost seems uncharacteristic of the Brit but then again, he was full of surprises!

“None of your business.”

“I think it is my business since he’s a teammate of mine and I am also co-captain, so,” he lets his voice trail off as if indicating his importance, “kind of my responsibility to make sure our players are accounted for and safe.”

“Oh? Is it because he’s with me? Cause if you were really concerned, I doubt you nor Max would really be okay with the heavy partying that happens. Then again you two would be hypocritical.” You retort.

That strikes a nerve. He clenches his jaw and stares down at you in anger though he stays silent because he can’t really argue with you. Instead, Lando takes a deep breath while glaring, “well, is coming back to your dorm?”

“Why do you care?”

'“Cause I really don’t need you being so fucking loud and distracting me.”

“Seriously? You’re rarely in your room. When you are, you’re doing anything but homework. The only thing I might give a damn about is your streams for the poor people that watch you.” Crossing your arms over your chest, “but if you need to know since apparently hell has frozen over with you doing homework, I am having a few guests over and Charles is one.”

“Who else?”

“You don’t get names,” you snap. “First off, it’s not your business. Second, you don’t care because I’m just a nobody who’s here to gather intel and sell the secrets and make so money and get the school shut down instead of learning more and making connections and wanting a better future for myself since I’m not privileged like that,” you mock before scowling at him, “you think I’m dumb? No way am I giving out the names of the few genuine friends I have here.”

Lando goes to argue before Charles cuts in, loud and clear, “Oh mon chérie!” Charles stops next to you and glares at Lando who glares back at you, “Oh. Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes. You are.”

“No, you’re fine.”

You and Lando stare at each other before you turn to Charles who slings an arm over your shoulder, “Ready to go then?” Charles asks you, smiling and you nod. “I am.”

“Well. Have a good evening, Lando,” Charles tells him as you just turn and start walking off, leading Charles with you.

Your gut twists and you can’t help yourself even with Charles talking your ear off since you stopped so Charles could tie his shoe. You’re about to look back at Lando until Charles tells some stupid story which gets you to laugh loudly and you nudge Charles when he stands saying that it was a good story.

You hear a thud or something which gets you to turn.

Lando is standing there holding with his head of the lacrosse stick now snapped off. He’s got Max and Oscar on either side of him both concerned and worried while trying to talk to him but Lando is staring at Charles as if he’s trying to strike Charles down mentally before finally looking at you before. He stares at you for a moment before looking at Charles and scowling before turning sharply and heading to the locker room with Max and Oscar trying to figure out what the hell just happened before following Lando.

You stand there watching the trio head off. Your eyes fall on the broken lacrosse stick head. You can’t wrap your head around why Lando was so determined to figure out who was hanging out with you. Was it to turn the little friends against you? Was he just upset that you weren’t bending to his will and made a fool of him earlier today? Why was he like this

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?” Charles asks softly.

“Yeah, yeah,” you shake your head and smile, “I’m okay. Just…distracted, that’s all. Come on! I’ll race you,” you start and take off, giving yourself a head start as Charles is cursing and scrambling after you.

Even if Lando wanted you to leave and threw the world’s biggest tantrum as it seemed, you were quite comfortable staying here since you added a new life goal to your plans. It was a very simple life goal.

Make Lando’s regret trying to bribe you.

[yan-randomfandom]

yandere viktor with an innocent and naive reader but with magical abilities, where the reader knows how to use simple magic like conjuring plants or controlling water... ((the reader only knows the basics of magic, since no one taught it and this magic would be the only one so far who knows how to do it, and the reader was a little scared of being in a rush or being studied like a lab rat because she has magic, but she confided her secret to Viktor...)) Why do you do that?

Y!Viktor x GN!Mage!Reader

a/n: posting this before act 2 omg, i think i need a rewatch — btw this one only has very light yandere undertones,, ..erm

🫧 ;

"Psst. Hey, want to know a secret?"

Viktor blinked. His eyes followed the moving reflection on the iridescent river. Your figure was mirrored in the water, an unreadable expression on your face.

... He looked up, alarmed. Were you talking to him? Viktor didn't even know you.

You met his amber eyes. For whatever reason, on the edge of the cliff just above the water, you folded your legs against your chest and buried half your face in your arms.

"Well?" you pushed, voice muffled.

His mouth opened, then closed. Viktor nodded wordlessly instead.

" ... Promise me you won't tell anyone."

Without a moment's hesitation, the young boy nodded again.

He watched as you stood up and jumped steadily into the river, splashing him and his mechanical boat. A low, frustrated groan escaped him as water seeped into his clothes.

"Oh, sorry," you said as he tried to wipe the water from his face. "Let me get that for you."

Suddenly, Viktor felt his weight gradually become less unpleasant—almost refreshing, even, as if the water slid across and away from his skin and clothes.

That's when he saw it.

A small blob of water, floating in the air. It moved carefully like it was fragile.

Then came another, and another. Small specks came together until it formed one single bubble.

Abruptly, it dropped in the river. Like nothing ever happened. Viktor's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Cool, right?" you grinned. He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, his jaw gaping. One of your hands was lifted, fingers poised in a manner of delicacy.

"You," Viktor finally spoke, stammering, his breathing ragged. "You did that? Was that... magic?"

You chuckled, settling yourself beside him. He turned to you, scooting over to make room, and met your steady gaze. “I think so. But I was serious when I said never, ever tell anyone.”

He shook his head, utterly appalled. "Is this some sort of trick?"

"I wish—"

“This is not funny,” he snarled, his demeanor shifting completely, catching you off guard. “If you’re just here to get a reaction out of me, I’d advise you and your friends to leave. Please.”

You frowned, standing up with your fists clenched. “No, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m so sorry! And I don’t… even have friends.”

Viktor searched your face.

There's nothing to suggest a lie. He's observant, and he quietly prides himself over it, but this is one of the few cases where he genuinely starts to doubt his judgment.

"But," you sighed, turning away. "I'll leave if that's what you want. Apologies."

...

"... Wait."

— 🌱

The leaves of the seedling barely moved.

"Aw," you chuckled, dropping your arm to your side. Who knew conjuring plant powers could be so draining? "Well, I tried. Let's take a break!"

He let out a choked noise, pausing his writing. "We barely started! How is it that whenever you get to try something new and amazing, you avoid it?”

...

You didn't respond immediately.

Viktor put down his notebook, looking back at you, who was blankly staring at him.

"I guess I'm... scared?" you said, tilting your head. To his surprise, you gently grabbed his hand, running your thumb across his palm.

His face warmed. He physically couldn't say or do anything.

"You're the only one who knows about this, Vik," you muttered, your eyes fixed on his rough skin. "I sprung this on you when we were kids, which is kind of hilarious, by the way, but I had a reason. In my mind, you were the only one who would understand."

He thought so, too.

Viktor couldn’t stop himself from slipping his fingers between yours. It was a good thing you weren’t looking at him—otherwise, you might’ve seen how red his face had become.

"And you told me no one will believe me," he said, and while the memory was of you giving him a serious warning, his tone was filled with nothing but endearment.

"I still stand by that," you laughed, pulling your hand away from his, much to his disappointment. You still hadn't glance at his face. He mentally scolded himself for almost hoping you would see his expression. "Especially with our age now. They'll just think you're crazy."

"I understand," he chuckled, turning away. "About that break... you want to go to our usual?"

A smile curled your lips. "Yes, please!"

— 💌

Viktor said he has a surprise for you.

Admittedly, you're feeling extremely anxious. He grew up to become a researcher, an inventor—facts that don’t surprise you.

As his best friend, a person able to do magic, while absolutely shitty at it, you know he sees you as someone with massive potential. Literally. No one else in Piltover or Zaun is known to do this. Maybe in a hundred years—who knows? You didn't even have a proper education.

...

Viktor cleared his throat. "I've been offered a position in the University of Piltover."

You froze. The letter in his fingers bore the university’s wax seal in the center, bold and unmistakable.

“Holy shit,” you blurted, your eyes darting between him and the letter. “Holy shit!”

Jumping over to Viktor, you wrapped your arms around him in a tight embrace. The biggest, most triumphant smile tugged at your lips. He staggered a little, but you were too wrapped up in your happiness to notice.

"Language," he laughed, hugging you back.

You snickered. "I'm so proud of you! Words can't even begin to express how happy I am for you!"

Pulling back, your hands still rested on his shoulders. Your smile relaxed ever so slightly as your eyes gazed into his softer ones.

"I knew you could do it," you exhaled.

A small pause.

Viktor had a look. Oh, shit. What’s that smirk for?

"...You're not done," you accused, raising an eyebrow.

He lifted the letter in his hand. "I have not accepted yet."

Now, your brows knitted together in utter confusion.

"... Why not—?"

"I said I won't be going unless they let me bring a plus one."

You smile faltered, denial crossing your face. He noticed it. Did he just say what you thought you heard him say?

"Are you saying...?" Your expression shifted into worry; you didn't quite understand his point.

"I want you to come with me," Viktor said, grabbing your hand and placing the letter in your palm. "To Piltover."

Oh, no. You didn't mean to.

You panicked, pulling away, the letter slipping from your hand.

Viktor's brows furrowed. He thought you'd be happier about the news.

Then, he looked around.

It had rained just before he decided to share the news. Some raindrops were still fresh, glistening from the downpour.

And around your figure, small droplets rose into the air. The air is thick with tension.

"Viktor. You're not giving me to them, are you...?"

Defeated. That's how your voice sounded.

"Of course not," he hushed, pushing you onto a chair. "Never. Please calm down. Let me explain."

You obliged, sitting down. He sat beside you.

"I'm sorry," you spoke first, meeting his eyes. "It's not that I don't trust you. Heck, I trust you more than anyone. The thought of going up there... it just makes me anxious."

"I understand," Viktor nodded. He turned his head. "However, I promise you, I won’t let them take you away from me. You’ll be solely under my care. But I do know someone who’s willing to help us."

Viktor. So compassionate and filled with empathy. You admired him for those very reasons, not just for his brilliance. His presence feels like a whole other world to you—someone who could help you understand your abilities. Perhaps the only chance you have to truly learn who, or what you are.

"I'll be a burden."

"No. Of course not. I want you by my side."

You hesitated. Despite your family being clueless about your ability, they were still the people you cared for. You still had a life in the undercity.

"And if I refuse...?"

Viktor took a moment to respond. The thought of leaving you hurt his heart.

"You... I believe you don't have much of a choice."

You couldn't explain why, but you found it in yourself to wholeheartedly believe him.

— 💜

zamn

critique is welcome btw