#and i thought well. that includes me. and if i'm really serious about that sentiment i'll put my money where my mouth is.

[lady-harrowhark]

Playlist Countdown to the Title

My Big Resurrection Event fic isn't dropping until July 26th, so in the meantime I thought it'd be fun to do a little countdown! I've said it before, but I feel like this event is our fandom's Cannes, so I think we should make our own red carpets. Life is too short (and love is too long) to not hype your own creations :)

Given that the title of my fic is pulled from the lyrics of the first track on my playlist for it (all lowercase, with parenthesis, naturally), I decided to pull some of my other favorite lyrics from the playlist to post throughout the day.

If you're a fan of Two Truths and a Lie, or if you just like clicking buttons, I've got a poll over here where you can vote for which option you think is NOT included in the upcoming fic. The poll is open until about 10:45 PM central time tonight, July 24th.

After the poll closes, I'll be posting the correct answer along with the title and summary, and of course, a link to the playlist.

Without further ado, to kick things off we have an old favorite :

6. The Mixed Tape - Jack’s Mannequin

I read your letter The one you left when you broke into my house Retracing every step you made And you said you meant it And there's a piece of me in every single Second of every single day But if it's true then tell me how it got this way Where are you now?

[venusjaynie]

baby names ~ blurb

chris sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: a cute little scenario about discussing possible baby names with your husband chris.

cw: pregnancy, a lot of dialogue

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"what about... chris junior?" your husband turns to you with a smirk.

"we've been over this. he is not having your name." you say with an exasperated eye roll, though you don't fight the smile that graces your lips.

"i know, baby, i'm just teasin'. and bernard is definitely out?" you stare at him blankly in response.

"i know you aren't even serious about that." he just laughs at you. his laughter dies down and the two of you sit in a comfortable silence, with chris slowly rubbing your bump. you're around the 5 month mark now, and you couldn't be more excited, however the discussion of a name has been long winded, and hasn't just included you and chris. "what was nick's suggestion again?"

"nick originally said jimmy, which i vetoed. i love my dad but c'mon. then he said william." chris' reaction to the name didn't show much interest.

"that's nice but he just doesn't feel like a william, y'know?" you say to chris.

"i agree. matt suggested jonathan, which i didn't really like. mom still thinks he's actually a girl 'cause she says sometimes the scans can pick things up wrong." he says while looking at you, and you hum in acknowledgement.

"maybe she's right? sometimes they are wrong. it might be worth having a few girl options just incase, right?" he nods in agreement.

"what about... christina?"

"chris!"

"kidding, kidding. i like isabella." he says seriously.

"isabella... that's pretty. i like that one. that can be an option." he smiles in satisfaction that one of his suggestions has been received well. "i really like daisy, too." chris hums thoughtfully.

"me too." he says, pressing a kiss to your temple. "hey, if we do have a boy, what about theo?" a smile graces your face.

"i like theo, but can his full name be theodore so we can call him teddy?" you ask sweetly, and chris chuckles quietly.

"sure thing, babe. teddy sturniolo. he sounds like a fuckin' badass." his seriousness makes you giggle.

the two of you fall into that comfortable silence again, and chris runs his hand up and down your thigh gently.

"hey, i'm really happy i got you pregnant."

"that's an strangely romantic sentiment, where did that come from?" you ask teasingly, to which he shrugs.

"i don't know, it's just that, i never thought i'd have kids this young 'cause i'm immature as fuck, y'know? but you make me think i can be a really good dad." your heart practically melt at his answer, until he says "and obviously you look hot as fuck with my baby in you." and your smile drops, unamused. he doesn't even redact his words as you know that he means well, and as much as he's crass and crude, he is genuinely glad that the two of you are starting a little family. you reach up to press a swift kiss to his cheek as matt enters the room.

"did you guys decide on a name yet?" he asks, walking over to the two of you.

"yeah, i think we're gonna go with bernard." you say, deadly stone-faced, and you receive a death glare in response from matt, followed by a burst of laughter from your husband.

"tell me you're kidding." he says.

"of course, matthew, we are not calling our child bernard." he breathes what can only be called a sigh of relief.

"what did you pick then?"

"as of right now, we're pretty set on theodore." you tell him, running your hand over your stomach, and matt's eyebrows raise slightly in surprise.

"theodore, huh? never heard either of you mention that one before."

"yeah, we just thought of it." chris chimes in. "y/n says we can call him teddy, and i said we can call him theo, so there's plenty of nickname potential there."

"that's really cool, guys. i can't wait to meet my nephew. or niece, according to mom." matt says with a laugh. "hey, maybe it's twins and you guys just don't know yet. y'know how sometimes they can't see it on the scan? imagine if that happened to you guys. that would be insane."

matt's words make you freeze up a little. you hadn't even thought of that possibility, and while having twins would be fun, you're nervous enough for one, never mind two.

"i never even thought of that." you say with wide eyes, and matt can clearly sense the nervousness his words brought you.

"it's probably not twins, uh, they can almost always tell. you'll be fine!" he says quickly. feeling uncomfortable in the situation he created, matt awkwardly mutters out a 'sorry' and steps out of the room.

"and, babe, even if it is twins, we're gonna be amazing parents, yeah? and you're so strong so carrying those kids is gonna be light work for you, right?" chris says comfortingly. you nod, and relax again into chris' side.

you have to admit, the thought of having twins is exciting.

"yeah, it'll be fun." you say with a small smile. "we could get them little matching-but-not-matching outfits!"

"alright, sweetheart, don't get ahead of yourself, we don't even know if we're having twins yet." chris replies with a laugh.

"i know, i know. i'm just excited. and anyways, i've got another scan in a couple of weeks, so we'll know by then." he nods in response.

"imagine two mini versions of us running around." he says, secretly ecstatic at the thought of having twins.

"daisy and theo."

"fuckin' coolest duo in boston."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this sucks ass :)

[phyrestartr]

Divine Favour | Sukuna x Kitsune!Reader (Pt.2) NSFW

W/C: 3.2k #NSFW, THEY FUCKIN', bottom!reader, top!sukuna, mild yuuji/reader, yuuji and gang are v early 20s, heian sukuna, male reader, typical kitsune shapeshifting, canon typical violence, morally grey reader, sukuna ignores feelings through the force of sheer willpower, unhealthy relationships, power imbalance, dubcon elements, blood as lube (SORRY), Sukuna unhinged horknee, ABO elements

A/N: I wanted to make this include more parts, but I am so flabbergasted and in awe of the response to this fic that I feel the need to feed y'all feral creatures LMAO. JKJK but 👀 Thank you for all the feedback and support! It really gives me the motivation to continue writing and to interact with the JJK community. I'm having a lot of fun!

tags: @kamote-kuneho @kamote-kuneho @nyanwko @kamote-kuneho @better-imagination-9 @3zae-zae3 @chibiduck @kiiyoooo @lukaijah

“What the fuck is this?” Sukuna drawled, an intense fury simmering through his being. His gaze couldn't tear free from you, not even to size up the blindfolded weirdo watching him intently. 

He shattered the coffin, freeing you from the makeshift cursed bath some freak had forced you into. He smoothed damp hair from your sickly face and searched for sparks of life somewhere in the cold stillness that'd overtaken you. And there was something. He found it, a little glimmer of vitality in the smallest, shakiest inhale. 

“Good,” he praised, brushing your hair back more and more to get a better look at your face. You looked like the frail little thing he saved all those decades ago.

“You know,” Gojo interrupted, but Sukuna paid him no mind, “If I didn't know any better, I'd think you actually cared about that kitsune.” 

“Then you don't know what this is,” Sukuna decided blandly. “Figures.” Kenjaku kept him off the record, huh? Guess that's a bonus.

“Oh? Do you wanna enlighten me before Yuuji comes back?” Gojo smiled, as if he really expected Sukuna to play nice and be honest with him. “Come on, come on, it's your chance to be vulnerable~” 

“Tch. Pretty damn sure the fox'll be the one to tell you.” His hand smoothed over your stomach and rubbed slow, gentle circles against your skin as reverse technique sought to bring you all back to him. “He yaps about as much as your insufferable ass does. Granted, he talks a lot nicer.” 

“Wow, rude.” Gojo sighed and clapped twice as if clapping on a light. “Okay! I've had enough bullying. Yuuji–” 

“Brat, don't you fucking dare–” 

Yuuji inhaled sharply. He blinked owlishly at your calmed expression, your eyes now closed and breathing now steadied thanks to Sukuna's aid. 

Aid. That wasn't something the king did. 

“Sensei,” Yuuji managed, voice quivering under the weight of memories’ emotion. “Can you fix this?”

Somehow, you were stuck in the throes of flirtation with the malevolent king of curses. 

“It may be courtship,” Uraume guessed, soft smile brightening their cold exterior. 

(They'd been smiling more recently, actually, ever since you completed that overcoat and presented it to them. Nary a day went by when they did not don the sentimental garb.)

But you weren't so sure; the event of courtship was serious business across all lucid creatures. Animals and creatures of primal existence sought out partners with favorable genes and strong constitution, whereas humans and the like yearned for merit or love in their coupling. You didn't quite grasp the way humans thought. Not yet. 

Well, save for flirting. You decided it was a sort of pre-courtship where nothing became serious and nothing was on the line, but frivolous touches and haughty words of praise ran rampant when those concerned crossed paths. 

Much like today.

(Much like the days before and after.)

You walked along the stone-paved path most mornings, lost in thoughts and mumbling to yourself bits and pieces of poems. Most were unfinished, but in their own time, verses would find one another and complete the incomplete. 

A groggy yawn hummed from the palace entrance. And moments later, Ryoumen Sukuna fell into step with you, grumbling and mumbling complaints about the nippy Spring morning while he tucked his arms away into his sleeves. 

He followed you, idly looking around the expansive space you'd helped curate and maintain when you weren't busying yourself with the girls or decorating clothing. The gardens weren't a mess before, not at all, but now they had a certain taste–trees and flowers were planted with specificity, stones were moved, paths reworked. You took the outside over completely. The king didn't mind. 

“Sukuna-sama,” you said, voice melting in kind with the morning frost. “I'll need to leave for a short while.” 

Sukuna quirked a brow and looked at you. You gazed upon the large, thick koi flashing their beautiful scales and ornate patterns of orange and white as they swam and followed you. Tch. How come even the fish were drawn to you? 

“And how do you think you'll accomplish that?” Sukuna tossed a rock into the koi pond, making the fish scatter. “Getting away from me isn't something you can do.”

You huffed and looked at him. “I understand. I simply seek your permission.” 

“Denied.”

“Ah.” You deadpanned. “Why?”

“You're mine; I decide where you go, how you breathe, if you eat. Or are you forgetting that?” 

You sighed and let your ears droop sadly with your tails. “Surely you jest.” 

“Are you laughing?”

You whined like a sad, sad street pup before cozying up to him, slipping your hands up his stomach and chest like you were supposed to. “Please?” 

“No.” 

You chittered and pressed your face against him, but didn't protest and complain much more. 

Sukuna’s thoughts whirled. The show was amusing, sure, but you didn't do anything without reason, especially when it had to do with breaking character and acting out like this out of–

Oh? 

Sukuna leaned down and sniffed you, searching for the intriguing coil of flowery citrus he nearly missed on the warming breeze. It was so, so faint, but decadent and alluring in a way that made the master of toxins cautious–most poisons tasted sweet, after all. 

You pulled your head back, shrinking down the slightest bit with your ears flattened against your skull. Your eyes, wide as a full moon, stared up at him, expectant. The touch of your hands on him never left, though.

“Brassavola nadosa.” Sukuna tilted his head. “You smell like it.” 

You blinked curiously, relaxing. “Is that so?” 

We don't have that orchid in the garden. Sukuna hummed and lifted a lock of your hair, catching another weak waft of the flower's faint scent. 

It's coming from him, then. Hm. 

“Tell me again why you want to leave the palace?” Sukuna asked on a hunch.

And that hunch doubled down when you fidgeted with the cloth of his haori and looked aside. 

“I wish to bear children," you admitted, shy and quiet. "To try, at the very least. Perhaps find a mate, too.” 

Children. You wanted children. After everything those sorcerers put you through for who knows how many years, you still wanted to mother a runt of your own. And you were willing to run off into the wild to, what, let some random man knock you up? Fill you with seed of unknown origin, unknown value, unknown potential?

Sukuna's ego flared. He leaned down to you, tilting your chin up to make you look him in the eyes regardless how small you felt in that moment. He deserved to witness you. You deserved to witness him. 

“You're not leaving,” he breathed, and he swore he could hear your heart break. “If you want a brat, you'll get a brat–only if you stay here 'n give up on those shitty thoughts of finding a sire out there.”

Your eyes scanned his face, tracing over serious lines and honest creases. Clearly, you searched for an answer–

“How?” 

–one that Sukuna didn’t have. Or maybe he did. Perhaps he just couldn't find the words for it. 

He scoffed and ruffled up your hair, unable to answer you. “You're not leaving. Not unless I say so.” 

The first time he let you go, he left scars. 

He found you in your chambers come early evening. Your tails swished and flicked as you sat amidst a nest of his robes and the missing linens from his chambers while you futzed over the embroidery of another haori, this time adorning the plain thing with the darkest scarlet one could find. Sukuna could already guess why. 

Your being burns as wildfires do. Lively. Emphatically. Devouring more and more so long as the earth lets you. Yet where you do not lay ruin, you grant warmth and light in a divine way. Wildfires are not such horrible things if one stays a respectable ways away. 

Your poetic nonsense irritated him to no end, but he fell enamored all the same; you spoke to honor him with every utterance of his name. You didn't try to kiss his feet nor did you bask him in compliments–you only spoke into existence that which hummed through your mind, unprovoked. It just so happened to be everything Sukuna liked to hear. 

So when he found you secluded away, beckoning so sweetly with intoxicating scents of citrus and gardenia, what choice did he have but to lay claim, to give you the brat you so sorely yearned for?  

You sensed him. Your gaze flicked to him, stoic and unmoved as ever, as the energy in the room built into suffocating silence, something like tectonic plates caught in deadlock, holding their disastrous energy, waiting for the right moment to devastate the world with a single, cataclysmic shift.

And of course, it was the impatient predator that moved first, setting a catastrophe into motion. 

The hours blurred together. 

Every minute of the chase was thrilling, invigorating, surprising–you were filled with tricks and traps, never slowing down for a second to think or doubt as the beast of a sorcerer pursued you through his palace, through the city below, and now into the looming forest in the mountains. 

Admittedly, he'd gotten carried away. He lost himself in the rush of it all, the adrenaline and pure, destructive desire pushed his self-control into unraveling just the slightest bit; honest attacks tore through space and time, hoping to maim and cripple you if they were to hit. And, honestly, the way you avoided his attempts to strike you down enthralled him as much as it enraged him–he was seconds away from unleashing his domain until a less-than-satisfying ripple of cursed energy tore across your thigh and put you down.

It was then, walking up to you, to his prey, that Sukuna remembered you weren't a sorcerer. Most would be able to stand and walk it off, maybe even heal with reverse technique, but you could only grasp at your weeping wound and grimace. Because you were not a sorcerer, you were a kitsune: a trickster, a creature full of mischief and void of cursed energy. 

Yokai. Not a human. Not a curse. Not like the rest of the boring souls wandering his earth. 

Sukuna pinned you the second you tried to make a break for it. Fangs and claws gnashed and tore into him while his hands strained to keep you down and rip those damn clothes free from your burning skin. 

Mating's never a pretty thing when it comes to nature. Humans like you made it something more.

Sukuna clasped a hand over your mouth and forced his weight onto you, ripping reedy yowls from your core as you twisted and turned, primal mind urging you to run, run, run, don't make this easy, make him prove his worth–

Rip.

Ribbons of what were once your robes fluttered to the ground, useless and unsalvageable. They were plain black, so unlike what you usually wore. You wouldn't miss them. 

“Make this as difficult as you want, pet,” Sukuna whispered as he loomed over you. His hand slid from your mouth to your throat when you stilled.  

“You know how this ends.” 

His pants were pulled down while another hand wiped slippery blood against your pliant entrance–and that was the only warning you got before he pushed into you. 

Where you should have screamed, you instead sighed. Your back arched off the ground like a work of art. Two hands gave up on holding you down in favour of gripping your waist and hips, pulling you closer to him, forcing you flush against his body. 

He noticed it then: a litany of old scars and discoloured marks shining against your skin. Marks left by those who did not deserve to taste such a delicacy. 

Unsightly.

Blood painted the grass. Cleaves and slashes ate away at those tainted scars, painting over the ugliness left hidden for too long–now, his marks would decorate you. Now, those hidden scars would mean something. They’d mean everything. 

Yet Sukuna's selfish maiming wasn't fitting the bill, and your antsy-ness was proof of it. You tried for the last time to pull from him, but his grip tightened around your throat. You gazed at him, then, eyes so wide and hungry, eager to fight or fuck–whichever came first. 

He braced over you and nearly winced as he dragged out of your suffocating heat. A sharp snap back inside loosened you, the glide of blood and slick aiding him. 

“I'll take you the way you need it,” he drawled as he built the pace quickly, already feeling his own obsession and excitement reverberating through his body, filling every fibre of muscle with electricity.

“Then,” he growled, leaning closer to your face. “I'll fuck you the way you want it.”

“More,” you sighed, digging your nails into the pillow you had your face buried in while the beast fucked you from behind. Sukuna groaned in compliance and lanced into your guts deeper, harder, faster than before–you were the only one that could handle the brutal way he let loose, and he was more than willing to indulge in that privilege. 

The hands all over you rose to the occasion, too; one had your tails fisted in his ruthless grasp, rudely holding you still and pulling you back against his hips; another rested on the curve of your ass, only moving to give a sharp slap or to knead your soft, perfect skin; the last two held your hips in a crushing force, his calloused fingers digging into your plush sides and sharp hip bones like you might disappear at any second. 

A sharp, sweet whine signaled the beginning of the end, as did the restless fidgeting and shifting in the king's grasp. Seeing you, a poised, powerful, mischievous being, come undone beneath him came to be one of Sukuna’s favourite sights, especially knowing it could only be because of him--only him. 

He leaned over you, his heavy chest pressing into your back as one hand released your waist in favour of fisting in your hair and tugging your head back and out of the futon you so desperately clung to. 

“Ah-ah,” he scolded breathily. “No hiding.” It was a familiar sentiment, one he had no problem reminding you of now and again. You had a horrible habit of trying to vanish when overwhelmed, after all. 

“Terrible beast,” you snapped back, scoffing indignantly when the deep bassy laugh of the man rolled through your body. “Horrible.” 

“You love it,” Sukuna growled back, grinning through every word. 

Something about it clearly struck a chord with you, judging by how fast you choked on your voice and came undone, legs trembling and body tightening around the too-big intrusion. The king groaned and bit at your neck, licking whatever blood beaded at the surface in between rushed, hushed words of praise for you and your efforts–most, if they heard the things he said, would call it out of character for the beast. Most didn't get to see beyond his raw power and crippling cruelty, however. 

Sukuna grunted and spilled inside you, pulling you back by your hair, hips and tail to ensure he forced every bit of his offerings deep into your core. Your body rocked and twitched against his, accepting all he had to offer you at the end of yet another coupling, before he let go of your locks and let you collapse face-first into the futon. 

He pulled out slowly, watching as every inch slipped from your abused hole before popping free and uncorking a dribble of whiteness from inside. He tutted and scooped it up with two fingers before stuffing it back in. 

“Oi, oi, are you even trying to keep it in?” He teased, smirking as you huffed. 

“You've exhausted me. I have no energy to attempt the impossible,” you lamented, nuzzling your nose further into the soft sheets smelling of cedar and fresh blooms–something so uniquely Sukuna. 

Your king sighed and gave your ass a firm few pats. “Guess I'll have to spoil you even more.” He settled onto his back and easily pulled you onto him, yanking you up to straddle his waist right where that second mouth laid open and eager to taste you. 

“This is uncouth,” you sighed. But you rocked back against the thick, heavy tongue pressing into your pliant heat, licking deep into you with a mind and hunger of its own. 

“Seems couth enough for you,” he commented, watching you ride his centre with rapt attention. “Little harlot's getting off on this, hey? Such a needy little brat.” 

His hands smoothed up and down your legs and sides as you shamelessly chased a second high. Your hands clasped over his as he took you into his hand and stroked you back to ample stiffness, the soreness of too many rounds of fucking making you far too sensitive to touch. 

“S-Sukuna-sama,” you stammered. “I can't–”

Sukuna's head tilted with a pleased smirk. “Ho? I thought you wanted to bear children? Are my offerings not enough for you?” 

You scrunched your face up into something of a prissy glare, but the shine clinging to your lashes and the shuddering of your body against his betrayed your crumbling demeanor. Of course, he was impressed with how his fox was fairing considering everything he put you through. 

He maneuvered you onto your back, grinning as you growled and weakly struggled against him. You looked perfect–stomach swollen, hair fanned out behind you, eyes teary but unable to tear away from the creature that’d tormented you for hours upon hours with no desire to give you a break. 

“Greedy god,” Sukuna lamented. One hand came to rest on your bruised neck again, fitting around so perfectly. “Nothing’s ever fucking good enough for you.” 

“You are.” 

That gave Sukuna pause. He stared down at you, all eyes looking over you with rapt attention as he tried to think. Tried to understand. Tried to parse those words and uncover what exactly you tried to convey. 

But it didn't click. 

“Tch. You're lucky I'm a generous god,” he scolded, releasing you from your torment in favour of collapsing down beside you for some much-needed rest. Not only did your beautiful body wear him out (not that he'd admit it), but your whimsical words wore his sanity thin. The worst part was you didn't even intend to damage him so. 

“I am truly honoured to merely be in your presence,” Your voice, light and dreamy as petals fluttering, laughed, and Sukuna's soul did something odd. 

He stared at the ceiling as you shuffled beside him, quickly returning to his side, donned in one of his haori and determined to make a comfortable nest of blankets and clothes around you both for the rest of the night–ah, morning? Huh. What an ordeal. 

You curled up next to him, shoving your back firmly against his side the way you often did when resting as a fox, and Sukuna huffed. 

“Turn to me,” he commanded, and you obeyed. 

He, too, turned to face you to envelope your lithe form with invincible arms and divine protection. Your soft purrs rolled through him, settling his wild spirit into a lazy tempo of an early morning stroll through a garden filled with one sort of white orchid: 

Brassavola nadosa. “Lady of the Night.” Your calling card. Your divine essence.

"Brassavola nodosa (Lady of the Night) is a medium-sized epiphytic or lithophytic orchid species boasting extremely fragrant flowers throughout the year. The blossoms, 4 in. across (10 cm), emit a citrus fragrance at night. Each flower features long, slender, pale green or creamy-white sepals and petals and a large, heart-shaped lip sometimes adorned with purple or dark red spotting." - gardenia.net

[jellyfemmedyke]

"I'll also say that this is sometimes supported by the trans man creators, like Jammidoger. It's not just the trans women, it's not just the essayists […]" & "you should feel gender affirmed from the violence done to you because that's just how men are actually".

Thing is, until I found trans men/masc people talking about transmisandry/transandrophobia online, every time I tried interacting with my local trans community, especially with other trans men/masc people, has included them all parroting or agreeing with the above sentiments, and it's why I stopped going to my local support group or interacting with them at all. Hearing those things from some well-known and respected trans women and men in our local community and getting pushback when I wanted to talk about trans masc issues, was just so disappointing.

Which is why I'm happy Jessie made that video and came to the conclusion she did. I left a comment just about my opinion on the matter, that while yes I've felt left out on her videos and wish she included our perspective more often, I also remind myself that she and her co-writer are both trans femme. So I don't take it as intentionally or even unintentionally leaving us out, it's a side effect of people writing what they know, however, that's exactly why I watch her, to get a better perspective for myself of trans women/femme issues.

But there were also lots of trans men and masc people in the comments who said a lot more about what our issues are and the harm it does to exclude us, how we do face similar or even the same kind of violence for the same reasons as trans women and femme people, and that often, her exclusion of us in her videos (especially the Barbie one) is adding onto the already exhaustive history of transandrophobia from within the trans community. While I've not changed or added to my comment, in the face of those others, it felt lacking, but I'm also really kinda exhausted at this point, since I've been fighting against biphobia from both cishet and other queer people most of my life now, so in the face of transandrophobia, I just have no more fight in me and have resorted to elevating the voices of others who do.

Sorry for the rant, you don't have to respond, I guess I just wanted to say thank you for getting a ball rolling and here's hoping it goes farther than other attempts before this.

Hey! I think I actually saw your comment, I thought about it a lot too which is is cool that it's bringing me full circle here but I do also agree in part that because they are trans femmes their thoughts and opinions are bound to be almost exclusively from their perspective. I do also watch for that perspective in part as well, but I feel that bigger trans creators who talk about trans topics, need to remember that there isn't just that one kind.

They have the opportunity to make a difference, to give others a voice, a voice which severely lacking in these spaces. I'm not going to wholesale blame them for perpetuating transandrophobia or anything, but if you're making a video on trans experiences and then leave out a crucial part of that experience, or at worse, uncritically repeat those same ideas as a bigger creator with lots of followers, it can have a serious negative impact on members of that groups and reinforces it, transandrophobia. This reminds me of the video that Abigail Thorne did called Beauty, Food, Mind. A lot of that video is her talking about how fatphobia affects HER, a thin beautiful actress, and doesn't really even mention much of fat struggles, or get fat perspectives, and she gained a lot of criticism within the fat youtube community for it because she had an opportunity and the didn't take it, making fatphobia only about thin people instead. I will be honest, I haven't had much of an irl queer community, I have my friends and I have gone out and interacted, but I'm disabled, and poor. I don't have the chance to go to any sort of community events or anything other than maybe a drag show every now and again especially here were I live now, I moved and am back in my home state, so it does make me nervous to even seek out and find a local community. online it's easier to brush off that kind of thing, not being considered or being talked down to or ignored, and tbh gaslit, but in real life? In my own home area, in my real domain?

I'm not sure I'd know how to cope with that rn, especially because I too have had some, let's just say not great experiences with in few irl trans people semi community type groups.

Lots of people are hurting and they take it out on each other, so I feel like I have to put on a persona, or be more femme to even be taken seriously and that sucks. So yeah, it's a breath of fresh air to be able to talk about transandrophobia online with other men and I'm happy happy happy we have this, but It is disappointing and I think it shows historically why trans men have tended to keep to ourselves.

[ikemen-daily-questions]

Results and Going Forward

The winning results of the poll was that this blog will schedule the remaining holiday based questions to post around and on the holidays they were designed for (halloween/fall, new years/xmas, Valentine's). 'Around' means some questions that were made to build up to the holidays (examples: new years eve party celebrations, and then a question made for the day after specifically).

Interspersed between these will be randomly scheduled messages of remaining non-holiday questions, but 'daily' questions will not be happening outside of those. These are variations of existing questions that I hadn't gotten around to posting yet.

I'll be updating the 'About' and pinned post messages as this continues. Once all the questions post, I will have a final post go out to make it clear no more questions will be coming out and make that the new pinned. This blog will become an archive at that point on, free to reblog questions from still.

All of this will take some time to implement.

So! Now for more sentimental words and more. I'll put it under a cut just to separate the needed info from my sappiness.

I don't have a hateful letter to this fandom in regards to this blog. All of you have been consistently polite, kind, and fun to see your responses to these questions. I'm not sure what may have been the general consensus with why this blog popped up, but the reason why I started it was because these are questions we use in my ikemen server. We have a bot there that we load up with questions and scenarios to post, and we originally began doing so to help shy people in the server be able to have some sort of 'excuse' to start rambling about their faves without having to join/start a conversation themselves.

And after we've had that bot for a few years, I thought that maybe people in here would enjoy that 'excuse' to ramble without the fear of having their responses responded to by me, that it was just something they could share on their blog or reply to and lovingly yap about their fave for just a bit. So I took the questions we had and started this blog to see if the questions could encourage people to do so, and that it did!! Over nearly a year, we gathered 154 followers, and that doesn't include whoever just answered the questions when they stumbled upon them. That's so many more than I expected!!! And each of you have been kind and sweet. Reading your responses typically ended up making me chuckle or, for more serious sounding ones, nod along. I really hope I've been able to bring some small joys with this blog, since you guys inadvertently did so for me with your responses!

So, I guess the question today is why would I stop doing it when it's been a happy time for everyone included? Well! Simply put, I am busy. Outside of this blog, I have my writing blog, my ikemen server, the letters blog and server. I have my 40hr a week job, I have friends and family that have been in various states of health or struggles in the past year (that impacted me more than I thought), and more stuff that I do. While this blog was fine when I had a lot of questions, once I started running out of normal ones and had to come up with more, I realized this slowly was becoming a chore of sorts. I disliked how it turned into me feeling stressed trying to make new questions because I misjudged how much of a sharp turn IRL and other fandom fun would take. And as much as I love trying to do something nice, I don't want to do it at the expense of extremely limited leisure time and accidentally turning fandom into a chore for myself. It's only me working on this blog, sans the kind people who submitted some questions in the past, so out of all the things I currently do, this blog was the one that could be 'ended' so I could help myself.

Which. I am bummed about, haha! I truly wanted to make it a full year, March 6th, before pulling the plug. I feel guilty, but I can't let something fun turn into something more negative. I want to leave the blog on a way better note than that.

I will say this: If anyone would like to make a blog of your own that does daily questions regarding these games - please feel free to! This idea was inspired by those 'comfort imagines' accounts, so it's not an original concept. (I just may peek over from time to time to use some questions for fodder for my server qs, and hopefully that will be alright.)

Thank you so much for all of the fun shared here. I usually got to have a serotonin boost every day, and I thank you all so much for that.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 4

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Damen knew the answer to that question. Laurent was not going to kill him. He was going to break him. Here, in front of everyone.

we all need hobbies. that just happens to be one of laurent’s

The men returned to camp boneless and exhausted with no energy to complain that their leader was a blond, blue-eyed fiend, curse him.

‘You just surprised me,’ said Damen. ‘Sometimes I think I understand you, and at other times I can’t make you out at all.’ ‘Believe me, that sentiment is mutual.’

‘The men think you bend me over inside the tent,’ said Laurent. He said it in the same calm way he said everything. Damen fumbled the vambrace. ‘It would erode my authority. My carefully cultivated authority. Now I have really surprised you. Perhaps if you were not a foot taller, or quite so broad across the shoulders.’ ‘It’s considerably less than a foot,’ said Damen. ‘Is it?’ said Laurent. ‘It feels like more when you argue with me on points of honour.’

laurent: i can’t promote you because everyone thinks you’re fucking me every night. it would make me look weak. damen: ?????? laurent: you appear to be surprised by this. maybe they wouldn’t think so, if you weren’t so tall and strong damen: i’m not that tall laurent: you seem to think you are, with how high and mighty you act

‘I want you to know,’ said Damen, carefully, ‘that I haven’t done anything to encourage the idea that I—that you and I—’ ‘If I thought you had, I’d have had you tied to a post and flogged until your front matched your back.’

somehow, this is a positive interaction for them. laurent admits that he knows damen wouldn’t ever take advantage of him, or view/portray him as a sexual object like so many other people do. this almost certainly means a lot to laurent, even though he can’t/won’t admit it.

Laurent wasn’t loved. Laurent wasn’t liked. Even among his own men, who would follow him off a cliff, there was the unequivocal consensus that Laurent was, as Orlant had once described him, a cast iron bitch, that it was a very bad idea to get on his bad side, and that as for his good side, he didn’t have one.

this has the same energy as regina george writing about herself in the burn book as a power move. laurent, to a degree, curates this image in order to maintain what little power he actually has.

actually, laurent has a lot of regina george energy. “raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by laurent of vere.” “he’s a life ruiner. he ruins people’s lives.”

now that i think of it, laurent has heather chandler (the og regina george) energy too. "mythic bitch" "they all want me as a friend or a fuck" "well fuck me gently with a chainsaw, do i look like mother theresa?"

It didn’t matter. Laurent gave orders and they were followed. Men found when they tried to baulk that they couldn’t. Damen, who had been manoeuvred variously into kissing Laurent’s foot and eating sweetmeats from his hands, understood the machinery that confronted and compelled them, deep-buried individually in each circumstance.

"Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people 'real life.' She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful." - Heathers (1998)

Damen was aware that what he was witnessing was nascent kingship, the first flexings of command of a prince born to rule, though Laurent’s brand of leadership—equal parts consummate and disturbing—was nothing like his own.

nice vs good theme! damen is starting to reconsider some things—okay, laurent is a bitch, but he’s actually doing something good here? like i’d want to accomplish the same things, i’d just go about it more nicely? hmmmm

The mercenary had enough of the sympathy of his fellows that there was the danger of a minor insurrection if Laurent ordered him put on the post. A crowd gathered. Laurent didn’t order him put on the post. Laurent flayed him, verbally. It was not like his exchanges with Govart. It was cool, explicit, appalling, and it reduced a grown man in front of the troop as utterly as his sword thrust had done. The men got back to work after that. Damen heard one of them say, in a tone of awed admiration, ‘That boy has got the filthiest mouth I’ve ever heard.’

HE IS REGINA GEORGE! HE IS HEATHER CHANDLER! HE IS THAT BITCH!

‘I’ve seen him. Last week he had half the camp at each other’s throats.’ ‘He’s all right,’ said Jord. ‘It’s only that he’s highborn, and not used to rough company. He’s doing the right thing by what he knows, it’s just that the rules are different. Like how it is with you.’

jord you have no idea how right you are. also i love how he just casually implies damen is a nepo hire lmaooo

is this perhaps our second lamen hr complaint? laurent giving damen special privileges? jord isn’t really complaining, though, it’s more of an observation. but he would have GROUNDS to complain. i’ll count it. lamen hr complaint #2 (jord).

‘I’ve never bedded anyone highborn,’ said Jord. ‘Is it different?’ Damen flushed when he realised what Jord was assuming. ‘He . . . We don’t. He doesn’t. As far as I know, he doesn’t with anyone.’ ‘As far as anyone knows,’ said Jord. ‘If he didn’t have a mouth on him like a harlot in a guardsroom, I’d think he was a virgin.’ Damen was silent. He drained his mug, frowning a little. He wasn’t interested in these endless speculations. He didn’t care who Laurent took to bed.

i would like to believe that laurent has developed his creative vocabulary simply because he is clever, theatrical, and well-read.

however, i think the more likely reason is that those words were used towards him for years, thus becoming a part of his vocabulary.

so that’s fun.

After a moment, Damen said, ‘Speaking of difficult men, there’s something I’ve wanted to ask you.’

i wonder if damen meant this to be an insult to laurent, as well as a conversational transition to govart. either way it’s funny

‘Why did you leave Govart alive?’ ‘Why not?’ ‘You know why not.’

this is a great parallel to their dynamic in book 1. there were a few instances in the early chapters where damen challenged laurent’s morals/decisions, was asked “why not?”, and took the question as laurent inherently disagreeing with his concern. but here, damen does not seem to assume the worst of laurent’s actions or questioning. he actually WANTS to hear his plan, and help to make it better. and he’s much more confident in calling laurent out on his shit, because he sees laurent as something of an equal.

“you know why not” = “i’m not playing this game. we’re on the same page about what needs to be done. explain how your approach is supposed to work, or else accept my solution instead.”

‘You were well within your rights after Govart charged at you. And there was no shortage of witnesses. There’s something else.’ ‘There’s something else,’ Laurent agreed, looking at Damen with steady eyes. As he spoke he lifted his cup and took a sip. All right.

context: laurent knows the regent is somehow indebted to govart, so it’s futile to try to use govart’s bad behavior to manipulate the regent

‘It was an impressive fight.’ ‘Yes, I know,’ said Laurent. He didn’t smile when he said things like that. He sat relaxed, with the cup now dangling from his long fingers, and gazed back at Damen steadily.

‘I was never a fighter,’ said Laurent. ‘That was Auguste. But after Marlas, I was obsessed with . . .’ Laurent stopped. Damen could see the moment when Laurent decided to continue. It was deliberate, his eyes meeting Damen’s, his tone subtly changed. ‘Damianos of Akielos was commanding troops at seventeen. At nineteen, he rode onto the field, cut a path through our finest men, and took my brother’s life. They say—they said—he was the best fighter in Akielos. I thought, if I was going to kill someone like that, I would have to be very, very good.’ Damen was silent after that. The impulse to talk flickered out, like the candles in the moment before they were snuffed into darkness, like the last dying warmth of the embers in the brazier.

first of all, laurent, you’re so real for the swordfighting obsession. make that ptsd hypervigilance work for you.

second: the insanity of laurent knowing that damen is damianos, and saying this to his face…

this conversation is when, i think, laurent begins to perceive HIS damen and damianos of akielos as two different people. it indicates the splintering of something private and complex within laurent’s mind, that we can understand on a re-read based on previous and future characterization. left unsupervised, laurent’s main coping mechanisms—pretending, dissociation, and self-isolation—combine with his strongest traits—force of will, calculated risk-taking, and overall commitment to the bit—to eventually place him in an emotional purgatory of his own design.

the delusion is both subconscious and conscious, in a way only an experienced overthinker like laurent can accomplish. he knows it’s impossible to actually separate damen from damianos, and that knowledge at this point in the story probably brings him comfort. whatever he says or does, they’re still going to end up enemies in the end. and with that strong grasp on reality in place, laurent also knows he can start to play. he can pretend that they’re not enemies, that they aren’t going to hurt each other, that they haven’t hurt each other already. if laurent is actively choosing to indulge the delusion, he’s not actually being delusional. as long as he knows that he is lying to himself, and has no reluctance towards the eventual truth, he remains in control.

speaking to damen in this specific moment, laurent is almost testing the limits of his own bit. "just how insane and delusional can i get away with being here, as the only person who understands the depths of my own insanity and delusion?”

the results of this test—damen’s lack of realization or response—have given laurent a green flag to proceed. it’s almost as if he’s invincible—he’s pushed the dramatic irony of the situation to its limits, and STILL damen has no idea. so he might as well just do whatever he wants now, because nothing matters anyway. he can get to know damen, and he’ll kill damianos later. it should be totally fine, as long as he doesn’t do something ridiculous like fall in love.

of course, we know that laurent does end up falling in love with damen, fully aware that he is auguste’s killer the entire time. that’s the eventual emotional purgatory i mentioned a few paragraphs ago. laurent even has sex with damen under this ruse, which is probably the most vulnerable thing that he specifically could possibly do with anyone.

laurent’s intentional cognitive dissonance is good for us, as readers and shippers, and ultimately good for laurent himself. after all, it’s what allows him to find and eventually choose love. but he is setting himself up for a massive internal struggle for as long as the lie persists. which it will, for an absurdly long time—because the more laurent indulges damen and distinguishes him from damianos, the more he knowingly betrays his brother’s memory. laurent can handle the resulting guilt and self-loathing internally, but anyone else knowing would make that betrayal real.

meanwhile, damen’s just like, “oh fuck. he has no idea. awkward. anyway.”

‘You have to understand. Auguste was made to be the pride of any father. It’s not that there was any bad blood between Laurent and the King. More like . . . the King doted on Auguste, but didn’t spare much time for his younger son. In many ways the King was a simple man. Excellence on the field was something he could understand. Laurent was good with his mind, good at thinking, good at working his way through puzzles. Auguste was straightforward: a champion, the heir, born to rule. You can imagine how Laurent felt about him.’ ‘He resented him,’ said Damen. Paschal gave him a strange look. ‘No, he loved him. He hero-worshipped him, the way that intellectual boys sometimes do, with older boys who excel physically. It went both ways with those two. They were devoted to one another. Auguste was the protector. He would do anything for his little brother.’

damen hears these words, but he doesn’t actually Hear them yet. but we do!!!!! this pov style is so good.

Damen thought privately that princes needed seasoning not protection. Laurent in particular. He had seen Laurent open his mouth and strip paint from the walls. He had seen Laurent lift a knife and in cold blood slit open a man’s throat without so much as a flicker of his golden lashes. Laurent didn’t need to be protected from anything.

better start seasoning those words, damen, because you’re about to eat them

[i-wanna-die-like-now]

I'm drunk and I have some thoughts on this.

@alteredphoenix I completely agree! The ice core is amazing and I love it for him-

But!

It has never really made sense to me, nothing about Danny screams ice or cold, I get that it's also a major factor in his ghost sense but man they missed hard, his character (to me) shows warmth and energy.

So... looking Into what Ice and cold can represent in media,

This one sort of fits, being a halfa is new territory, for both him and the ghost zone. Him falling into his powers and discovering new things. All uncharted, new.

Rigidity and stillness... Not so much, Dannys life takes off in so many new directions, there isn't a standstill in his life and he definitely isn't devoid of sentiment. If anything he has more, he's using everything he has just to save people, because it's the "right" thing to do. He has so many emotions and thoughts on all this new information he is being exposed to, processing so many new things.

Absent of hate, yeah I see that, true hate? That's something I think takes a lot for Danny to feel, along with wrath.

This one fits extremely well, Danny has to be really mentally unwell after everything he's been through, he's around his parents that are constantly spouting how much they hate his kind and what they want to do to them. Lack of love? I'm sure he's feeling that, ik I would be. But it also doesn't fit because he has the love of most people in his life, his friends and Jazz, even his parents (albeit half the time) I think it's a huge part of the show how much love he is surrounded with, their friendship is a huge part of it. Jazz accepting him and him accepting Dani, there isn't a lack of love.

(I haven't watched the show in a hot minute tho)

Death, absolutely, he's dead. He's surrounded by death and other dead people.

I don't see Dannys character of one of hatred or destruction, Dan. Sure, but we're talking about Danny.

But most of these aren't in the show, they don't dive into it and so it comes off as extremely out of place. It's not like it makes no sense, him having ice powers was never something I thought needed to be changed, I still don't, it does make me think about why he does have an ice core though when electricity was right there.

Now here's my own thoughts on electricity and how that would have worked.

He died surrounded by electricity and ectoplasm, he can use ecto energy so it makes sense that he would also be able to use electricity. Vald isn't shown to use an ice core so it can't be that it because he’s half dead, there isn't a sold reason as to why it can't be electric. (I wish the show went into more details about cores)

Electricity to me shows warmth and power, Danny is shown to be powerful, he is a newly formed ghost and he manages to beat multiple strong ghosts that have been around for way longer than him. I took that as him being extremely powerful, he is also shown to be compassionate and caring. He's a good person with a good heart, being dead and warm doesn't go hand in hand but I don't think that matters all that much.

He's always moving and flowing, both with his movements in fights and his opinions and values. He's a growing teenage boy and is learning new things about himself and the world, ghosts and the zone included, he's growing and lighting a light in the kids of Amity. Sparking change for ghosts and painting them in a new light for humans. He's both a ray of hope for the citizens he's protecting and the ghosts he helping, almost like a new era, like when we discovered electricity and it changed our daily lives.

He's also dangerous, and deadly.

One wrong move and he could end a life, end whole cities (as shown in The Ultimate Enemy) much like one wrong move with electricity and you're left injured or dead.

Overall electricity is good and it helps us everyday but it can also cause serious harm and I think that suits Danny so well, him being afraid of what he can do with his powers after the whole Dan scare, the warmth he brings Amity and the zone, it fits him perfectly imo.

And them there's the angst of having a power that literally killed him, that would be terrifying.

[thegreatimpersonator]

i want to preface this by saying that i became a fan of taylor after lover (which is ironic because it's one of my bottom 2 albums by her) but honestly i don't really care for taylor anymore, i saw her in july last year and enjoyed the concert and everything but again that was mainly because of the experience of it being my first big stadium show and the vibes of everyone dancing and singing along. and i'm really glad that i did have that experience. but i literally listened to ttpd once and i can't stand midnights for the most part, and my dislike for the music coupled with the way she's acted in the past year has really turned me off of her.

that being said, i think it's fascinating how taylor coopts whatever is big in the moment as part of her aesthetic for that album. like for lover era she was huge on politics and activism and lgbtq/women's rights because that kind of advocacy was really mainstream and popular at the time. and now it's been like four years since then and she doesn't really outwardly express any political sentiment one way or another. for folklore and evermore she really leaned into the quiet/homey/cottagecore aesthetic that was so popular during quarantine. and for midnights and the poets album she is really leaning into that whole depression/mental illness vibe that's really popular on social media right now, especially with the i'm just a girl rhetoric that's huge on tiktok. i can't really articulate that link super well but i feel like it's definitely there lol

all that to say, taylor's choice in aesthetics are so varied and that's fine in some cases i guess , but in some cases switching up like that out of nowhere is outright harmful - like her not caring about politics anymore, or romanticizing the "mental illness aesthetic" like she's doing right now. i don't know what i'm trying to get at here, but i feel like she wants to make sure she's as "in" as possible without considering how with such a large platform she is actively offending hundreds of thousands if not millions of people. and sure maybe she's disconnected from reality because of her fame so she can't really understand the impact of her actions (personally i don't think this, just a counterargument) but what i really don't understand is why someone on her team or a friend doesn't just say this to her. does no one care?

i totally agree and while reading this i may have thought of a possible reason she does this. i feel like this trend you're talking about really kicked into high gear with lover and making the entire theme of the album involve something very hot in the culture at the time, and what also kicked off at the time was Taylor being worried about her aging out of the industry and not being allowed to be successful anymore, like her talking about lover being her last chance for a hit album. so i think she, consciously or not, wanted to make sure she was keeping up with trends and being young.

and like you said this extends to now where it's very obvious she's not learning what the actual mental health terms mean and is more using them in a trendy way, she's not giving them any weight or making it known that she's serious, because serious mental health conversations aren't trendy, using them for dramatic purposes is. calling yourself 'delusional', 'manic' or having intrusive thoughts for comedic, dramatized purposes is what everyone is doing and now she's including herself in this trend of casual ableism and has also now crossed a line into blatantly using it for aesthetic purposes.

again whether this is a conscious choice or not, she's really just coming across as so un-self-aware and has no feet on the ground whatsoever, to the point where she'll just go with what's trendy to fit in with the young generation and make them like her and it's gotten to the point of no return it feels like

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi! I see that since you mentioned match ups are open people have eagerly hopped in. I honestly don't blame them since you're so good at it. It's really fun reading everyone's match ups so I wanted to give it a go too! I wanted to avoid mentioning or comparing characters to avoid influencing the results but like simplifying a person's personality is hard so I'm just gonna roll with it, lol.

In terms of personality, I'm an introvert but that doesn't mean I'm shy. I can be (I have, like, 3 different anxiety diagnosis) but usually I'm generally low energy and relaxed. Very deadpan. So much so much so that people tend to laugh even when I'm being serious. I'm a Taurus and I find the description very much fitting. I take pride in being pragmatic, grounded, down to earth. I like taking care of people in a more realistic way (and just in general). In spite of seeming calm or blunt I'm actually really sensitive and emotional (although I'll never show others my vulnerability). I always try to consider the other person's feelings which is why I'm often called kind and considerate. A good listener. I'm quiet so that comes with the territory lol. I generally don't like to talk about myself and will only say something if asked/spoken to first. In simple terms I'd say I'm a weird mix of Jumin(practical, decisive, analytical) and V(emotional, sentimental, self sacrificing). I always end up getting the most hearts from them when I respond honestly especially Jumin haha. One last thing for me is that along with my millions of anxiety disorders(including paranoia so I heavily relate to Rika and Saeyoung) I also have ADHD(I guess *also* like Saeyoung lolol). As I'm sure you can tell by now I don't have the one that makes me bounce off the wall. I believe the one I have is called inattentive and it makes me a total space cadet. But I was very imaginative and creative so I think it was good trade off? I'm pretty sure my mom thought child me was a plant because I was so quiet and still. Never cried that much and was an "easy" child except when she had to coax me to do things. Then I was stubborn lolol. Definitely a Taurus haha.

For work and study, ever since I could hold a crayon I've been drawing and art has always been my focus. In public school I'd pick the all the art classes and I'd even take outside classes during summers off and when I grew out of that I'd do self study with books and online tutorials. I do illustration and graphic design and my major in college was visual communication design (which is a wordier way to say graphic design). I got my associates but sadly had to drop while doing my bachelor's (would love to get a master's and study art forever but it's just a dream for now). Currently, I work as a bakery clerk part time until I can get a better job but I like it. I like seeing people's faces light up saying "SO PRETTYYY~" when they see our cakes. I do a little bit of everything so bread bagging, baking, set up, orders, cake decorating. It's very well rounded job where I'm breaking a sweat and feel like I'm earning my dollar while also having creative input. I like giving the customers advice for their get togethers and parties. It's nice. I'd like to one day have my own brand and put myself out there as an artist but for now this is fine enough.

When it comes to hobbies I feel like it's on the nose cause I like to be creative and have my hands moving. The obvious is drawing (both digitally and traditionally. Love using soft chalk pastels) and baking but I also like more crafty hobbies like crocheting and scrapbooking. I'm a big stationary nerd and I love collecting paper, notebooks, stickers/washi taped, pens/pencils, ect. Been into watching bookbinding vids. I also have the more typical hobby of listening to music, reading (big book nerd put me in a book store I'll leave with a tall stack), big gamer nerd.

Some other miscellaneous info about me is my favorite color is green 💚. I generally like deep earthy, natural colors but I also like gentle pastels like pink and lavender. I'm a big dog person and I dislike cats. I'm actually afraid of them and they cause me a lot of anxiety. I would never cause trouble for them and I hope they are homed to people that genuinely adore them. I just don't jive with them. I can and have taken care of them in a pinch. I wouldn't let my personal stuff cause them harm. I definitely understand and relate to dogs more. I want to grow old with a bunch of pups to take care of lol. I don't want kids so cute puppers will do. I have hazel eyes and rusty red hair. When I was younger my hair was much brighter yellow orange compared to Saeyoung but as I got older it turned into a deeper, darker rust red. I also have freckles all over. My favorite shape is stars! I love astrology and magic and whimsy (again such a contrast from how I present lolol ⭐)

Im more prone to forgiving and moving on and I found Saeran's AE really relatable. It brought up a lot of topics that were really important to me that I feel a lot of people overlook in stories about healing from abusive parents. I really can't hold onto my anger for very long and generally prefer to look at people for what they are and either work with them or move on. I don't like letting others take my time and energy which is why I'm "nice", or at least normal, to even people i don't like. I feel like being petty and angry all the time is draining. It's just my style of healing. On the contrary I find anger and yelling very triggering for me even from friends who I know won't hurt me or are speaking on my behalf. The antagonististic energy is just very uncomfortable. I prefer a gentle touch I can trust. Everyone is capable of getting angry, it's healthy and normal, but I prefer someone who's first instinct isn't to jump to anger but understanding. Makes me feel safe.

That's about everything I can think of. I don't normally think about myself so it's hard to write haha. Hopefully that all made sense. Thanks for taking the time if you see this. 😊

I match you with...

Jihyun!

Hear me out, I know this might sound odd, but you seem to fall into the same realm as his heart.

Don't take this to mean that you're self-destructive, it's actually that you're passionate and that this passion is what inspires you to be who you are. Even though it may not be a lucrative career to survive as an artist, you find a way to make it work, and in doing so, you don't sacrifice what helps you feel like you have artistic liberty. Not a lot of people have that opportunity, and it would be interesting to be close to Jihyun, wouldn’t it? He didn't give up on his dream of painting, he simply found something else to fill the void in his chest because his father made him believe he would never be able to make it. 

Seeing you be your most authentic self is a challenge to everything he's ever told himself. You're the kind of person who challenges him, because while you are similar, you are inherently different, as well. It's not a bad thing, it's something he welcomes, and he can't help but want more. 

He's not the kind of person who's going to jump to anger when something goes wrong. You don't have to be afraid of being in a conversation with him, especially not with the two of you are upset, because he has a level enough head to know that you need to take some time to breathe, and do whatever you need to do before you come back to the conversation. Nothing ever feels like it's going to explode when you're with him. It feels like you can overcome any challenge that comes your way. 

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Hey it crossed my mind and I'm curious about your thoughts. Y'know the five love languages (words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch) and all that? It makes me wonder what each of the Butterfly Girls's (Including Kanae, bless her heart) love language would be. Kanao I feel for sure would be quality time, or maybe words of affirmation since it was what Tanjirou said was what kickstarted her heart? The others I'm sorta blanking on, especially Shinobu. I always found her hard to figure out when it comes to headcanons and stuff like that. I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

I will give it my best shot, but I am no more a love language expert now than I was when I was last asked something similar many months ago😅

Shinobu:

I did get asked about Shinobu’s love language once for giving, I had written, “I think Shinobu seems like a words of affirmation type of person. She knows the value of words and with how dangerous her job is, perhaps her s/o’s too, she wants nothing to be left unsaid. She wants her s/o to have no doubts about how much she loves and appreciates them. She may tease, but she can also be quite sincere.”

For receiving, I had written, “I think she’d like to receive acts of service and/or quality time. Any little task done to make her life easier is much appreciated, especially if that means she’ll get to spend more time with her s/o without work looming over her head and distracting her from the moment. When she goes to do something and finds it already done, it makes her feel lighter and appreciative that her s/o is looking out for her in a quiet, unobtrusive way.”

Kanae:

Giving: I would guess words of affirmation for her too, but to a less serious extent than Shinobu’s reasoning. She’s just very honest and will say whatever sweet thing comes to mind and doesn’t really give it any extra thought. Very in the moment and carefree, opposite of Shinobu who deliberately thinks of what to say before hand to use the most optimal wording. They are like, the right and the left brain of affirming words haha.

Receiving: She strikes me as someone who would respond well to physical touch. It’s probably something she gives very freely too, but it feels more special if she’s not the one to initiate.

Kanao:

Giving: I think acts of service or gift giving maybe? Words can elude her sometimes, though she’s getting better at it. She may find it easier to show her love through actions as she starts deciding things for herself.

Receiving: Words of affirmation or quality time does sound right for her. Reassurance is important to her I think. Reinforcing her decisions with kind words would really help build her confidence as she navigates who she is and what she wants.

Aoi:

Giving: Aoi is stumping me more than the others, so this may be a cop out answer, but I’ll say acts of service. If someone is coming home late and misses the initial dinner service, she’ll make a nice meal for them. She’ll shoo someone away from a task and do it herself if she notices that they are tired.

Receiving: I think Aoi would like to receive some thoughtful gifts. She probably gets flustered if she gets them in public, but gifted to her in a more private setting, she is very touched by the sentiment and takes the upmost care in whatever she was given. Every time she looks at one of these gifts, she recalls the moment they were given to her and feels a little happier as she goes about her day.

[silver-heller]

So, I'm curious. Since the characters are poly and all in your AU, and Serafine is pretty open about that, could she potentially enter into another relationship like the one she has with Mordecai?

Do you think Mordecai would get jealous? How would he react exactly, and who else (as in, type of person), could you see Serafine getting into a relationship like that?

Ooo, this is a super interesting ask, thank you in advance!

And most definitely, if she found the right partner and felt comfortable being more serious with them. She has that sort of relationship with Silver, however, I'm not counting her because you're specifically asking about something that would break the status quo for Mordecai, and Silver doesn't.

I think Mordecai would definitely get a bit jealous, mostly because of how "exclusive" Serafine makes herself. In the AU, she acts very open but has very few people she is actively and emotionally close to (mostly just Nico, and then Mordecai/Silver). So, Serafine opening up more, though Mordecai would of course be happy for her, and not just in a fling sort of way (which I imagine she'd still do, Mordecai wouldn't care), it would make him wonder about his position. A whole "am I really special, or was I just there at the right time" type situation.

I also think, overall, it would make him really nervous, especially if Serafine would want to include him, considering they're so close (and I think she probably would). A new partner in this type of arrangement would bring forth a lot of questions for him, such as "what do they expect from me? Do they know I'm ace? Do they respect this?", "is it possible I could fall romantically for them and this would cause problems later?", "are they aware and comfortable with the fact I have a metaphorical husband?", "do they realize how many partners I have outside of Serafine? How do they feel about that, would they want to meet them and would I want them to meet them?", etc.

Serafine would be both great and terrible at bringing the two together, because her pushiness and refusal to take Mordecai's shit means she'd help the new partner have an easier time cutting through this as well, but she'd also probably overlook and forget all the insecurities and understandable worries Mordecai has toward this type of thing. I think Mordecai doesn't understand Serafine would be way more cautious about who he brings into his space, being well aware of his sexuality and struggles, than he thinks.

The other thing is really fun to think about, so I'll be rambling under the cut lol.

My first thought was potentially someone who is actually how Mordecai acts/wishes he could be, before Serafine helped him take off the mask; cold, genuinely doesn't have that many emotions, tough and not that much bothers or weighs them down, not that sentimental, more like Serafine who attempts to stay in the moment, etc. It'd make Mordecai worry he wasn't enough, and that Serafine is disappointed he turned out the way he did. I also think Mordecai would be worried such a partner would not be able to meet his emotional needs, and find him annoying for secretly being quite soft. Little does he know, that type of dude would immediately feel pretty protective over him and not want him to ever suffer in the ways he did in the past again. Mordecai is so used to seeing others as the more "sensitive ones", so I think the change of pace would be really nice for him.

Which, honestly makes sense. I think there's a unique experience when you're queer and you love the same gender where, at some point in one's life, they try to act like their type because "haha, I just find that kind of person cool, no homo!". Not to say they'd be just Mordecai without the nuances, they'd have their own that would contribute to their brand of coldness and how they express that kind of demeaner. But, close enough for the connection.

Alternatively (though I like the former much better), someone Mordecai would assume Serafine would enjoy more due to their similarities, being more fun, wild, crazy, and spontaneous. Mordecai would definitely wish he could be as flexible as them, and there'd be a lot of jealousy there. Mordecai would also probably struggle to connect to them as well, since both Serafine and them wanting Mordecai to loosen up would be a bit much for him.

All that being said, since I have imagined the partner as a dude until this point, if they were a woman (cis), yeah, that'd be complicated. I think it's unlikely (and not as interesting), since I do think Serafine does have a bit of a preference for men. However, Serafine would be very direct about the fact Mordecai is gay and he is off limits in that way, though Mordecai would be very skittish around them regardless due to past experiences.

[the-fab-fox]

I hope you don't mind @umburgrr, but I just had to rectify the situation. XD

Did not realize how long this got so under a cut

—

Floyd grinned from his spot on the hot beach sand, watching the others as they ran and chased one another around. There was some bickering and bantering and carrying on but it was all good. Just the way their crazy little chaotic friend group had become over the last year, despite all the drama that had happened.

With the school year almost over, Floyd found himself feeling a little sad. Last summer, the moray mer hadn't really felt any type of way toward leaving NRC. This year was different, but that made sense. He didn't have the friends back then that he had now. So yeah, he felt kinda sad and a little miffed about the idea of not having all his little fish around to pester and torment (affectionately).

A heavy sigh reached his ears and Floyd glanced to his left to see Azul frowning. Immediately, Floyd felt his defenses come up and it was with a serious look that he spoke up.

"Hey, Azul. What gives? Why the heavy sigh? Who do I need to squeeze for making you sigh like that?"

Azul looked at him in surprise before a soft smile crossed his face and he shook his head.

"Ah, no. It's nothing to worry yourself about, Floyd. Just thinking."

Floyd wasn't going to give him the easy out from the conversation like Azul was obviously counting on.

"Nope. You're always thinking and it usually doesn't include a sigh like that."

Azul raised a brow before finally rolling his eyes. Floyd thought that would be the end of the conversation and was just planning on how he could get Jade to help him make Azul talk when the Octavinelle Housewarden turned his body more toward his own. Floyd sat up fully, drawing his knees to his chest and rested his arms upon them.

Focus mode initiated.

"It's just... I'm frustrated with the sentimentality I've acquired recently. It's... not good for business and, you know me. I can't stand feeling as if I lack control in any situation."

Floyd laughed at that and shook his head. "What? You not liking to give up control? I never woulda guessed."

That caused Azul to snort and smile before a hand quickly rose to hide it.

Floyd frowned.

"Why do you do that?"

He surprised himself as much as he surprised Azul with the question. Generally, it was an unspoken agreement that they, as well as Jade, didn't really ask those sorts of questions.

"I don't know what you mean."

It was Floyd's turn to roll his eyes. "Cover up any show of happiness on your face. It makes no sense. Why wouldn't you want your friends seeing that you're enjoying yourself? Especially Riddle since he's the one that invited us." He hesitated but forced himself to continue. "Or with me. You should know by now that you can be yourself with me. And I like being able to see your smile. To know you're happy."

Woah, woah, woah. Okay, maybe a little too much 'feeling' in that last bit, he thought to himself. Still, he couldn't bring himself to regret it.

Not with the very pretty blush that creeped onto his childhood friend's face. And the soft, private little smile that slipped over his lips before he could hide it once more.

The thing was, Floyd had it down for Azul.

Like bad. It was so annoying but it was also kinda thrilling. And whiplash-y.

He was also pretty sure Azul liked him back.

The problem was, feelings were a huge no-no when it came to Azul. And to Floyd as well, unless it was in terms of doing things he either wanted to or didn't want to do. He was very vocal with his feelings towards that.

So they had never really breached that particular subject.

Well, that was it then.

Time for that to change. Right now.

Before Azul could even answer his last statements, Floyd shifted a little closer. He grinned as Azul did the same without even realizing he was doing it.

"Got any plans on Saturday night?"

Azul blinked and looked at him incredulously.

"You already know that the only plans I ever have on a Saturday evening are running the Monstro Lounge and balancing the books."

Floyd shook his head.

"Nope. Not this Saturday, you're not."

There was that chuckle again but this time Floyd sensed something else within it that he hadn't noticed, or had refused to notice, before.

Fondness.

He grinned wryly and waited.

Azul didn't disappoint.

Drawing himself to sit up straighter, Azul leaned in with a curious look on his face. "And why would that be?"

Floyd grinned wider. "Because next Saturday I'm taking you on a date. You work too much anyway. Someone's gotta watch out for you and make sure you don't swim your way into an early grave. Jade's not gonna do it. Might as well be me anyway, since after that date you'll be begging me to be your boyfriend."

The reaction he got from this declaration—well, declarations, he guessed—was peak comedy.

Azul's face was instantly red. There was no gradual anything about it. His pretty pale skin was just suddenly as red as a crab. He also would not meet his gaze as he began to sputter and gape like a fish pulled out of water.

"What in the name of the Benevolent Sea Witch are you driving at, Floyd? This is not the time for your jokes and... And what makes you even think I would want to go on a date with you, much less have you for a boyfriend?"

Floyd, ready for this line of questioning, shifted even closer. They were now mere inches apart from one another. Azul, as the moray mer expected, leaned in on instinct rather than away from him.

"Oh, there's lots of reasons but let's go with the easy one. I like you and we both know it and you like me and we both know it. Kinda really dumb to keep dancing around something that's really obvious to both of us."

Then he leaned in so that he was close enough that he could kiss the other but stopped short of actually doing so. The blush returned full force and Azul diverted his gaze elsewhere but not before Floyd caught that pretty-eyed gaze dropping to his mouth.

He smirked. "Aww. Cute Azul. You so wanna kiss me right now."

"Shut up," Azul said immediately, looking around to see if anyone was looking at them. When it was clear they weren't, Azul glared at him.

Which looked so funny (and cute) when he was so blushy.

He suspected that he wouldn't have to push for much longer.

"Mmm. Why don't you make me, my cute lil' octopus, hm?"

Azul floundered for a few moments before his annoyance and embarrassment combined got the better of him. At that moment, the octopus mer closed the very short distance between them and kissed him.

Floyd's eyes widened as he suddenly felt his childhood friend's lips against his. While he knew that his teasing and flirting would have gotten him an A+ reaction, he hadn't expected that Azul would actually kiss him.

In fact, he was a little annoyed about it. He'd planned to kiss Azul after he teased him for a while longer.

He totally stole my thunder, he thought but was already sinking into the kiss and getting lost in it.

—

Hope you enjoy, should you choose to read it.

short floazu comic

read left —> right

something something floyd asks azul on a date at the island during the stitch event and then everyone forgets in the end. hear me out though on floyd crushing on azul very openly and everyone knows this except azul because he thinks floyd’s just like that with everyone. i think they are very silly (whipped this comic out as fast as i could i needed to get this idea down)

[tony-quinn]

Eifel Like Shit (idk how to include 65)

Has anyone heard the song "Colors" by Halsey?

I mean probably because it's pretty famous. For anyone who hasn't, humor me while I shift into overly analytical, pretentious douche mode.

IT'S MORPHIN TIME MOTHERFUCKERS!

I was listening to the song recently for the fiftieth time and the chorus struck me in a way it hadn't before. Here it is for those who haven't heard the song, aka dirty plebs.

"Everything is blue His pills, his hands, his jeans And now I'm covered in the colors Pulled apart at the seams And it's blue And it's blue

Everything is grey His hair, his smoke, his dreams And now he's so devoid of color He don't know what it means And he's blue And he's blue."

I've always been a pretty sad guy, ever since I was a kid (not yet a guy.) I'm not sure where it comes from. I've also been an anxious fucker for a long time and I recently found out that the two things correlate so RIP to any sense of peace.

A popular song from my childhood (as well as anyone's who isn't an aforementioned dirty pleb) is "Blue" by Eifel 65.

It annoys me when people say that the group confirmed the song to be nonsensical fuck shit, when songfacts.com quotes them saying otherwise. Here's the quote so nobody can accuse me of pulling it out of the same vault that Half Life 3 is sealed in.

"I started thinking about this character I invented called Zoroti and the lifestyle he led, from the way he would buy his house, pick his girlfriend, his job or the neighborhood he would live in. Then I came up with a color, a color I thought described the way he saw things."

Checkmate bitches. Where's my Nobel Prize?

Listening to "Colors" recently made me think back to this quote and my brain did its typical thing of connecting separate thoughts into a bridge that allows a fully fledged idea to pass over. Nothing is ever simple with me.

Okay if you think the humor in this post is egregious, that's only because I'm writing this in real time and have trouble being completely serious, but I have to do that now so yeah.

I'm blue. Yeah that's a line from the Eifel 65 song, but blue is just who I am. As much as I'm no longer a total believer in anything supernatural or spiritual, maybe this song being a big part of my youth was some form of fate. On the surface it's a silly club anthem, but when you actually look at the lyrics it's kind of deep.

"Colors" gave me this mental image that honestly haunts me, where every woman I've ever tried dating are sitting in a room and talking about me, whether positively or negatively I can't be too sure, but probably the former.

Then the conversation gets serious as one of them (probably the only one I loved) says, "He was pretty sad most of the time.) One by one the other women nod and agree with that sentiment. Sure they thought I was a comedic god, but in some way they all saw the truer version of myself below the surface buried under my goofy jackass attitude; the thoughtful, melancholy loner who never really felt like he could be exposed.

Halsey wrote "Colors" about Matty Healy from The 1975 (they dated.) I don't know too much about his life, but I know he had a drug problem and struggled (or struggles) with depression to some degree. In a way I kind of view myself as a celebrity, in the sense that I'm known for stuff that serves as a smokescreen to the unflattering parts of my life. Gee it's almost like celebrities aren't so different from us. Fucking unfathomable.

This post really had no ultimate purpose. I just wanted to talk about the one thought, but every time I write off the top of my head it shapes itself into something unexpected.

Thanks for reading if you even did. Regardless I feel a bit better.

[randomclam24]

I have a lot of excess energy that I might have put toward personal projects. The problem with that is the prospect of them ending up in development hell. Not only that, because it's just built on excess energy, there's no real check on whether or not the effort exerted is worth it.

In a sense, I did in life what I did because I didn't want to put all my eggs in any other basket when obviously there were more pressing things beforehand.

It's weird. The more the situation changes, the more I feel maturity coming on me almost in my stead. I think more level-headedly where otherwise I would quite literally be putting aside that kind of judgment for the sake of seeking out inspiration.

To an extent, the "more level-headed" assessment of things is directly objectifying.

After some thought, really, how much is "maturity" still used in a sense that could be used to mean self-actualization? As opposed to meaning, have the right opinion, in itself.

I don't have a method to this.

I found somebody did a restoration of the Donkey Kong Country OST of Stop & Go Station. That was one I considered for a level in a project at one point, where the song was something to contemplate before the creative process. (These were just going to be free mod games.) In this case, it's not necessarily dated because the sentiment had something to do with how I had absolutely no bearing on where the world is headed.

Donkey Kong Country - Misty Menace [Restored] - YouTube

I don't know how cringe works, so if this hurts to view, turn it off immediately

My life as an atomized thing isn't even that important.

But there were more OSTs comparable to that one in effect. Basically there was a secret ending where in my mind I was starting to predict that fate was something really dark. In short, there was a depression involved at the end. Talking to my old coworker on the project, she convinced me to delete the final map, which hadn't even had anything serious put into it as of that time.

I feel like arrests including to myself will start very soon.

I could attempt going back through the lineup of music that is now defunct in what remains of that project. But - it gives a very strong feeling which is unique. It's very creepy.

The material doesn't even live up to that caliber, but the music itself is powerful.

Update

Only one other song really holds up, but let's not talk about that.

Also, I found a lead that what really got me about "liminal space" images might have just been what is called nyctophobia images.

Update

Maybe not that.

There's also autophobia.

Update

There's literally nothing special about "autophobia" images. Nyctophobia is just fear of the dark.

There were some liminal spaces that had something to them. There are all these categories, but I don't think that captures it.

Update

Honestly, all I think there is to it is when you have a space that looks like it was meant for kids which I don't trust. That implies a regressive state that is positively terrifying.

6/4 night

I just wanted to point out I can't sleep.

I checked everything. Yes, Pirate Doom really is it for right now.

6/4

It still is. In reality, the two sources Rage on Nightmare mode and Silent Hill 3 also on hardest monster difficulty are run by the establishment, and in the case of Silent Hill 3, people just couldn't handle it if done anyway, and in the case of Rage, it's easy for the establishment monitoring me to continuing fighting the muties as a permission by proxy to start the mass culling of 4channers.

Update

No, Silent Hill 3 in today's society would be explicitly pro-tranny, with the way things are run.

So in that sense, it's not different from Rage being pro-police-state - bearing the meaning behind John Carmack's "Toxic and Proud" statement.

Basically, in keeping to Pirate Doom as opposed to that, I'm just trying to say keep it simple, stupid

Update

Life has absolutely no purpose. I think I'm going to hang myself from the boredom, the inevitable crippling boredom

I may as well have been abandoned

Update

I feel like I did after I talked about the Kanye lyric, "no one blames the plaintiff" and how that resonated. I don't want to just embody an evil spirit. Back then I just said I didn't want to start trouble for its own sake. I just want people to know.

But if conversation already has to start from the statement that it's a rigged system you can't work with, why doesn't conversation then carry on from that point? The only way to say this comes coupled with saying, no, we weren't what *we* were chocked up to be, when this system is something completely inhuman, to begin with. Why compare ourselves with what it expects of us? It's not even real.

Today I've been thinking about what it would actually mean to just say, I'm absolutely not associated with you people, because all I hear is how the white man sits in his Pokemon jammies and cries himself to sleep, like the Pokemon jammies part wasn't added.

Who the fuck is going to laugh at that?

Anyway expect arrests of anons

Does Anonymous identify with establishment (mostly boomer) conservatives, let alone establishment (mostly boomer) liberals, etc.?

Everyone acts like this will all be absorbed in the absolution that is sex, like we're all the ideal one body of the church in the end.

Are there people who really believe this?

4chins has actually sunk into complete uselessness as of lately. I was about to say, it's just slow enough, I'm about to just hop in my grave

Update

All I can do is sit here in my Pokemon jammies. I'll have to kill myself.

Update

Having just finished Pirate Doom on UV, how could I say my life has changed?

It's good

Update

Well? Is it time to give up the ghost?

Yes. I'm just kind of getting bored.

Update

I only just now heard of the saying boomers had, which is, live your best life. Implying I'm not already doing that, in this state right now, when the alternative was

[kitkatscabinet]

Hi there! I love you’re writing and I’m sorry people havnt been respecting the rules! I double checked the rules before I went and asked for a request cuz I wanted to make sure I was being respectful!

I was just wondering if you could do some headcanons for Dylan, Jake, and nick and what pet names they would use for their s/o and what their s/o would call them?

I’m not sure if you do Dylan x fem reader so if you don’t, it can be gender neutral for all the homies, just so everyone is included!

If you don’t feel comfortable writing this or I got confused with the rules just let me know, and it’s totally fine if you don’t wanna write it! Thank youuuuu! You’re writing makes me happy! 👌🏻👌🏻

ok so it's actually in my what I will write for link that I say I won't write a fem reader for Dylan (just put it in the rules officially) and I've brought it up multiple times on my blog but you were nice and respectful so I'll happily do these :). Also I'm such a bad person for this cause I be calling my loved ones things like c*** or cheestick so. Also I really like this request and thanks for your kind words ❤️😭

Jacob

the biggest on pet names absolutely loves them. loves using them loves being called them. all around you rarely hear your actual name from him

at the start he definitely uses babe/handsome/gorgeous/cutie. the typical sweet things but as your relationship evolves you definitely come up with things that are special to the two of you.

Jacob likes to be called my love (he's a little embarrassed about this at the start) and hubby. To him those two are like the ultimate endearments that prove you do actually love him. he's your sweetheart so that defs gets thrown around as well.

In my opinion Jacob's body type is the cuddliest so cuddlebear is a big one as well.

somewhere in between this dude and bro definitely get thrown around as well in a 100% romantic sense by the both of you

Dylan

has the silliest use of pet names, and if you're shorter than him get ready for all the short related names.

he has 100% called you his boo thang before and you weren't completely sure if he was serious. Of all the boys he's the one lovingly referring to you as a slut (never in a mean way tho)

but seriously I see him as a fan of calling you duck and my favourite. Not too sugary sweet but still cute enough

He likes to be called your lovebug (he’ll grumble jokingly in public but he secretly loves it) and variations of honey

another practitioner of babe, but in a casual get your attention way.

the one that overexaggerates with them the most and enjoys using them to annoy other people.

Nick

uses them the least, but as he gets more comfortable is more inclined towards them. Also the least likely to use them in public, unlike the other two who can and definitely do

you use them more for him but he'll still call you darling in a way that's sure to fluster you.

when he needs to pacify you/calm you down its darl

I can also see him calling you his little gem or star or some of the sappier ones like that when its just the two of you. The most sentimental and thoughtful. He likes to call you more personalised things as well.

Once he's really comfortable he calls you possum the most though (this is a very popular Aussie term of endearment, we don't actually tend to use them much over here so)

likes to be called honey, dear or lover. Gets the most flustered over their use especially in public, it makes him giddy to know that you actually feel that way about him.

Taglist:

@laurakearnxy @wolfsquad @rainbows-dreams @dylanlenievy @kestisvrse @aaetherr69 @jjkk1m @g0th1ka @ghostverz @thebookbakery @sheriff-hackett @qlqstqr

[daz4i]

ok so. off the top of my head. here are some thoughts

(i am on mobile so typing may be messy, and generally this isn't anything serious, I'm just throwing stuff at the wall and hope something sticks)

dazai seems to think there is no point in living (or at least he used to, in his youth. given that he still tries to die, well, I'd say it probably hasn't changed much. but maybe the reason has)

this makes me split into two thought... lines...?? idk the english term. ANYWAY:

despite this, he does not want his loved ones to die. he sees value in THEIR life (i touched a bit on that in my post abt him and yosano)

according to tdipud, it seems he sees life as meaningless at least in part due to the inevitability of death

that second part is interesting, bc it's not JUST that - given that he (at least claims to) wants to commit a lovers' suicide, it means he more than just sees life as meaningless, but also that he sees DEATH as meaningful. an act of love, even. he views suicide as a beautiful thing (in reference to the real author most likely, but that doesn't make that part less relevant ofc). his arc is all about seeing LIFE as beautiful, too.

(edit bc i forgor: that one scene from wan!!! "when i die, i want to go just as beautifully"!!! he associates beauty with death, bc for now that's the only point of reference he has. this inevitable yet unachievable beauty. that's probably why he insists on committing suicide with a *beautiful* woman too)

this moves me to an interesting scene. That One Scene from dead apple, "how beautiful" as he says to chuuya. it's relevant here not just bc of the use of this word, but because. well. this whole scene is about skk cheating death, in a way. dazai was dead there for a bit - that's why the singularity happened - and he seemed to embrace it, but he also prepared ahead of time for chuuya to save him. so unless he just. wants to live at this point (which I'd argue he sort of does but also it's very complicated). i think it was in part bc he wanted to be able to save chuuya - again, bc he sees value in the life of his loved ones.

i unfortunately can't find that post now (as i don't remember who op was 💔 if you know what I'm talking about, i would love for you to add it in a reblog or send it my way!), but there is a really interesting theory about how abilities are essentially like someone's soul, according to stormbringer, and so no longer human - the anti ability - means dazai has no soul, by this standard. i wouldn't be surprised if he just feels dead as is bc of that. suicide would just mean matching the physical aspects of him to the mental ones.

since i already got into self projection there lmao let me ride this wave into another thing. idk if that's the case for everyone, but having near death experiences, specifically ones that affect you in some noticeable way (so like, hospital stay or lasting medical effects, even short term ones. not the "dodging smth falling on you just in time" sort of thing) and especially if it happened multiple times and in multiple ways. like. really fucks you up lol. it gives a sense of "i should've died. I'm not dead. this isn't right. i need to fix this. this is why I'm suffering, because I'm alive even though i shouldn't be" and i wouldn't be surprised if after his numerous attempts (including small ones, like being poisoned by odasaku, and spending the day throwing up) and other various dangerous situations he got caught in, he may have this sentiment as well.

(it is also quite despair inducing when these experiences are self inflicted. almost feels like fate is taunting you. you should be dead, but it won't let you. gives you an idea that maybe you just can't die, which in turn will only make you yearn for it more, especially when a common conception is that death is what gives life a meaning at all. i won't be surprised if that same conception is another reason why dazai holds it in such high regard too, given that he can't see much meaning in anything else. but that WOULD contradict that perception i mentioned all the way at the start, of how death makes life meaningless, so it's up to you to decide if it's a case of a character containing contradictions like real people do, or if i'm just stretching things a bit too much at this point hehe.)

this is all i have for you now. not really full on analysis, just some thoughts laid out. feel free to build off this into your own analysis (but tag me so i can see 👀) or offer your own ideas, just as usual be respectful and kind about it! :3

i am so normal and calm i can be normal even when I'm thinking about dazai's relationship with death (lying)