#and i thought they wouldn’t hurt me so much cuz i saw them coming but then they DID 😭😭😭

[tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land]

How's Shadowbringers treating you?

Oh you know…. I’m going through it

[gallavichsreddie1128]

You Belong With Me (Patrick Zweig)

Description: Y/N is in love with Patrick but is convinced he doesn’t feel the same

Word Count: 2,007k

Author’s Note: Please send in requests! I have a few that I’m working on right now but I’m open to whatever

Y/N was in love with Patrick Zweig. She has been since they first met. She met him and Art at a Tennis game and they became close friends. They were a trio and everyone knew it. There was even rumors that they were all fucking each other but unfortunately that wasn’t true. Patrick loved sleeping around but the idea of fucking Y/N never seem to cross his mind. Art saw how Y/N looked at Patrick and he knew that she loved him. Y/N was super jealous anytime that Patrick got a girlfriend or bragged about hooking up with someone. Anytime she’d ask him why he was telling her any of this he just told her that “you’re one of the guys.” That hurt.

She had to hide back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes as she gave him a fake smile. He never saw her like that. It got so much worse when Tashi Duncan came into their lives. Both boys were swooning over her and it made Y/N jealous. Tashi was nice to Y/N though. She teased her about her friendship with both guys but never had any ill feelings towards her. Patrick and Art reassured Tashi that y/n was just a friend after the homewrecker comment. Y/N had to hide her jealousness and sadness hearing about the night the three of them had together. Patrick wouldn’t shut up about it but like a good friend Y/N just told him that was crazy and awesome for him.

“Yeah she said whoever won our tennis game could get her number.” Y/N hoped that he lost it. He didn’t and thus began Tashi and Patrick’s relationship. Y/N watched them be all lovey dovey while her and Art were seething. Art had it bad for Tashi and y/n wasn’t oblivious to it. Y/N and Art went to Tashi’s game together and waited for Patrick. “Where is he?” Y/N asked. Art decided to text him and got a response back moments later. “They are fighting so he’s not coming.” Y/N sorta felt happy that they were fighting but she knew that was wrong.

She could see on Art’s face that he felt the same way. Y/N gasped as Tashi broke her knee. Her and Art got up immediately and ran to her. Her cries and screams sounded awful and Y/N felt so bad. Her and Art sat with her when Patrick arrived. Tashi screamed at him to get out but he wouldn’t listen so Art did, “Get out Patrick.” Patrick looked at them and looked at Y/N. She opened her mouth but words didn’t come so he walked out. Y/N debated on going after him but knew it wasn’t right. She would have to talk to him later. “Why didn’t you say anything in the room?” He asked her as he showed up to her room.

She wanted to scream that she loved him and she was tired of being one of the guys but didn’t. “I don’t know. Everything just happened so fast.” She said softly. “He wants her, you know that right?” “What?” “Art wants her so he caused all of this.” Y/N looked at him confused. “What do you mean Art caused this?” “The whole reason we were fighting was because of Art and cuz I suck at Tennis?” Y/N was shocked that Art would be the cause. Did Tashi like Art? “You don’t suck at Tennis.” She tells him. He smiles but shakes his head. “According to her I do.” “Well she’s wrong.” Y/N thought that he was great at Tennis. Art and him kinda had a fallout after that but Y/N still kept in contact especially since they all went to the same college and even after that.

Patrick was a mess that Y/N had to clean up constantly. “Thanks for being here.” He says to her as they drive to a hotel. “No problem.” “Are you sure you don’t mind paying? I’ll pay you back as soon as I get the money.” She laughs and shakes her head. “All good.” They got to the hotel and y/n paid. Y/N had a big girl job and never went pro in Tennis but still made a lot of money. “Are you hungry?” She asked as they got to the hotel room. “Yeah, a lot.” “Let’s go get some food then.” She said. While they were getting food she got a text from Tashi that told her they would be at the challengers. Y/N jaw dropped and looked up at Patrick who was scarfing down the food they got.

“So I have some news and I don’t know if you’re going to like it.” She says. He looks at her with a mouth full of food. He motions for her to keep talking. “Art is going to be there. Playing against you.” Patrick almost chokes on his food. “What?” He asked, Y/N nodded. “Tashi just texted me.” Y/N was excited to see her old friends. Patrick wasn’t. “Girl it’s so good to see you.” Tashi said and hugged her old friend. Y/N hugged her back and said the same. “Hi Y/N.” Art said and hugged her. “I missed you both so much.” “Did Tashi tell you that I was here?” Art asked, not knowing that Patrick was here. “Yes.” Y/N gulped. Neither of them knew of Patrick’s presence. “Awesome! I’m glad you came. I have to go practice.” He said and walked away.

Tashi looked at Y/N suspecting something. She never was good at hiding anything. “What is it?” Tashi asked. Y/N looked at her and shrugged. “I just can’t believe you guys are here.” Tashi raised an eyebrow at her. “He’s here isn’t he?” Y/N nodded and Tashi rolled her eyes. “He was here before you guys were. I got your text at the hotel.” She told her. “Art’s gonna freak out and think that I planned it all.” “I don’t think Art’s gonna think that.” Y/N tried telling her. “We gotta keep them away from each other.” Y/N agreed. Patrick won all of the rounds leading up to the finales as did Art. For the most part they hadn’t seen each other but knew that they were there. As Y/N and Patrick were drinking and talking he kept looking away from her and staring at something else.

“What’s wrong?” She asked him and he snapped out of it. “Nothing.” He lied. Y/N looked behind her and saw Tashi. She looked back at him with a “really?” face. He sighed, “She’s married.” Y/N exclaimed. He nodded and understood but still got up to go talk to her. Y/N could tell that the conversation wasn’t a pleasant one. Tashi seemed annoyed and when Patrick came to sit back down he told her, “She wants me to stay away from Art.” “I do too.” He looked at his best friend, “What?” She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

“Patrick it’s not good for you guys to be around each other and for you to be all over her still.” “I’m not all over her!” “Patrick, yes you are. You have to let her go.” She was right. “I asked her to be my coach.” Y/N’s jaw dropped. “You did not?” He nodded his head. “I did and I think she might do it.” Y/N sighed, “You’re a dumbass.” She breathes out. “It could be good for me,Y/N.” She knew that Patrick wanted her and it disgusted her. She sighed and shook her head, “I don’t know what’s good for you, Patrick.” Though that night he got exactly what he wanted.

With a price of course that he wasn’t even sure he was going to do. “I want you to lose.” Tashi said to him. He wanted to laugh in her face but he also wanted to fuck her so he was in between. “I’ll do it.” He ended up telling her but there was always a I’ll do it but you have to do…with Patrick. So when it was all said and done Tashi looked up at him. “She loves you, you know.” He looked down at the woman with confusion written all over his face. “Who?” She rolled her eyes. “Y/N.” Patrick didn’t believe that, not even for a second. “Yeah right.” He said and pushed Tashi off him the best that he could.

She sat up and huffed. “I know it’s ridiculous that she loves someone like you but it’s true.” “And you fucked me? Knowing this.” “I’m not her best friend, you are.” He sat up as well. “Okay let’s say that you’re right. Why haven’t I noticed?” She looked at him like he was stupid. “Cuz you’re stupid.” He took in her words as they sat in his car. Was his best friend really in love with him? “Why hasn’t she told me yet? It’s been 15 years.” “Cuz Patrick you’ve been with girl after girl. She doesn’t think you feel the same way.” 

He got back to the hotel around 2:30 am. Y/N sat on the bed waiting for him. He opened the door to be greeted by her. “Where were you?” She asked in a whisper. “Out.” She rolled her eyes, “clearly but what were you doing?” “Tashi wants me to throw the competition.” He ignores her question. She sighed. “Of course you were with her. Patrick she’s married she doesn’t need you to fuck things up for her.”

“You act like she didn’t call me to hook up.” Y/N stood up from the bed. “She what? You what?” He rolled his eyes. “We had sex okay? But only so I would lose tomorrow.” “Patrick, that's not okay at all. That’s really shitty.” “You know what else is shitty? Not telling your best friend that you’ve been in love with him for 15 years.” Her eyes widened at his words. “What?” She whispered. “You’re in love with me and you’ve been for 15 years!” She breathed out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding.

“I am. But I shouldn’t be. I mean you’re a bum, Patrick. And it seems like you use me and even though I know I shouldn’t. I do and I would die for you, Patrick. But you love her and you always have and you always will. I’m just one of the guys to you.” She had tears in her eyes as she said those things. Patrick looked at her, “you really feel that way about me?” He asked. “Yes but I still love you. I’ll always love you Patrick Zweig.” She said. He walked up to her and cupped her face. The tears that were falling from her face landing on his hand. “I’m such an idiot.” “What?” He kissed her, hard and full of passion.

She kissed him back like she waited 15 years for this kiss. Standing in the room, in the moonlight as they moved their lips together until they need air. “But Tashi. You love her.” He shook his head. “No I don’t.” He said and kissed her again. This time they fall onto the bed not breaking the kiss. She moved to straddle him, not breaking the kiss. His hands moved up her back and hers placed on his chest. She moved to cup his jaw and deepened the kiss.

This was a dream come true for her. No matter how shitty he was, she would always love him. She pulled away from the kiss and started kissing his neck. “Wait stop.” He said and she pulled away, confused. “What’s wrong?” She asked. “You don’t deserve this.” She stared at him with the same look. “I want to take you on a date before we have sex.” She was shocked by his words. Patrick was never known to be a date guy. “After I win tomorrow. I will take you out.” “So you aren't throwing it?” He shook his head. “Hell No.” He said, making her laugh. “And if you lose?” “I’ll still take you out.” “You’ll pay?” He nodded and kissed her again. “I’ll pay.”

[nena-la-fresa]

The Dragon and The Wolf |Part 2|

18+ Account | Minors DNI | Do NOT Follow, Like, or Comment | Pls have your age in your bio, if you do not I will automatically block you because I’ll assume you are a minor.

Part 1 | Part 3

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x f! Stark Reader

Warning: Arranged Marriage | Smut with Plot | Possessive Behavior | Hate Sex | Male Masturbation | F Oral Receiving

Word Count: 1370

A/N: Aemond is gonna be a little soft cuz I like my fictional psycho men to have a soft spot for their lover. This once also hasn't been proof read yet, I'll also get to this later.

He thought it wouldn’t bother him, but it did. You plagued his thoughts like some sick joke. Everytime he closed his eyes, all he could see was you. Legs spread open with your hands pinned above your head as he pounded into you. Your sweet cries begging for him to wait so that you could compose yourself. Or the way you wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him deeper in and your nails digging into the skin on his back. He had begun to yearn for it, it was an itch he could not scratch. Not even when he would wrap his fist around his cock to relieve the desire he had. 

He had had a taste of you and it would not go away. It was intoxicating to hear you whimper his name, or to have breathed in your scent. Even if he had done it to tease you it had come back to bite him in the ass. Even now it was aggravating to see you leaving his side. As you had ignored him since that day, and throughout the whole ceremony. You avoided looking him in the eye. And now he watched you closely as you made your way around the hall. Flashing a smile to your house, making sure that you were being attentive to your guest. Even as you had decided to sit with them rather than him. 

Were you punishing him? Was that what this was? 

But how could you know what his desires were if he was so closed off. 

He had a hint of jealousy as you spoke to someone, a man. Perhaps a childhood friend from the North, one of the Umbers or the Karstarks. He watched as you laughed with them. As he picked up his drink he watched as your head turned and out of the crowd of people your eyes found his. He maintained eye contact watching as your smile faded but composed yourself when you looked back to the man you spoke with. 

He didn’t understand why it bothered him so much as he watched you accept the hand of the man as he led you to the floor. His blood seething as he saw the two of you dance. 

Alicent watched as her son stood up and made his way over to the center. Confused as she tried to see what her son was heading towards. Even more so when she saw him take your hand away from the Umber boy. She had never seen him act like this, it was different than his usual antics. 

You had felt an almost forced jerk. Turning around stood Aemond, he had looked down at you. “Husband.” 

“Wife.” 

He had averted his eyes from you to look at the Umber boy, “I’d like a dance with my Lady Wife.”

“Yes, of course Prince Aemond.” The Umber boy returned back to his seat in a hurry. 

“Does my Lady wife prefer to dance with Lords rather than her husband?” He could say he was joking but his tone was nowhere near that. 

You stayed silent as you danced around. Aemond grows more upset and squeezes your hand for a response. 

“If you think hurting me is going to get much of a response out of me, think again husband.” 

“Yet you spoke did you not?” 

“You are insufferable.” 

“They only insufferable one is you wife” 

“Me? Please husband. You have been unpleasant since the moment we met.” 

“I have been nothing but pleasant to you.”

“So does that mean you treat people worse than me?”

“You said it yourself. I am a kinslayer. I have killed my own blood. I have burned the riverlands. I would say my behavior to you has been pleasant.” 

You say nothing as you try to separate yourself from him but can not as he holds a tight grip at your waist. 

“Will you leave me alone!” You hissed at him and yanked yourself from him. You once again found yourself walking fast through the corridors. 

All this did not go unnoticed Alicent had watched as the two began to quarrel. She watched as her son went storming out after his new bride. She began to try and distract their guest from the situation in hopes that everyone was too drunk to remember what happened. But to the guest that questions where the newlyweds were she made the excuse that they had already left to get started on their consummation.

“You are my wife. Where do you think you are going without my permission?” Aemond yelled as he got closer to you. 

Before you could respond you felt your wrist being tugged into a room. Aemond pins you to the door, “I have been patient with you for two days. I have let you ignore me. I have let you throw your little temper tantrum. But that is enough.” 

“Temper Tantrum? My anger with you was completely justified. You made me seem like a whore. What if your mother was not the woman she was? What if she had not known what kind of son she had. I would have been sentenced to death for your reckless behavior.” 

Aemond wraps his hand against your throat, “Do you know how much you have tortured me?” He leaned down to place a kiss against your lips. It was aggressive, desperate, as if he needed it to breathe. He pressed his body against yours, but as you tried to push him away you could feel his boner against your thigh. As much as he angered you, you could not help but melt into the kiss. 

He began to kiss down your neck taking in your scent. The scent he longed for. He began to lift up the skirt of your wedding dress as he placed his thigh between your legs. Your cunt just placed on his thigh, it had begun to ache for his touch. Your body had begun to move at will, grinding itself onto his thigh, he groaned and began to unbutton your dress. He had undressed you completely as he found himself kissing down your body. He placed a nipple in his mouth, sucking before moving lower. He had reached your stomach placing small kisses before he got to what he had been longing for. Your cunt, he lapped at it as if it was the most delicious thing in his entire life. As if nothing has ever tasted as sweet as your cunt, as if he had been starving for years. He lifted one of your legs over his shoulder, to balance yourself you placed one hand on his shoulder and the other hand gripped onto his hair. 

“Aemond please.” 

You place a hand under his chin to signal him to come back up. He cups your face as you begin to remove his clothes. Once they were off he turned you around and bent you over. The sight was better than he imagined. The way your curves looked in the lightly lit room. The way your hair fell against your back. He didn’t want to waste any minute. He aligned himself at your entrance and pushed in. Your walls were tight but they were slick enough to move. Each thrust becomes more desperate and harder. He pulled you back against his chest as he sucked on your neck, harder than he had last time. His other hand reached down to your cunt. 

“Aemond” Your moans were like music to him. 

He turned you around and lifted you up using the wall to help him keep you up. He could feel you coming undone. He could feel you tighten around him. He watched your face as tears of overstimulation rolled down your face. He kissed you once more to muffle your moans. You bit his lip hard pulling on it. It was enough to send him over the edge as he came inside you. 

“My god.” 

You both turn around in a panic and see Aegon lying there on his bed having been woken from the last few moans. 

Aemond quickly stood in front of you to hide what he could. 

“And I didn’t think you ever had it in you brother.” 

[firsttimewriter92]

Heyo! I’ve requested this to a couple different writers just to see the way it differs and so far Im still waiting for them to respond, which is fine, but I was hoping I could at least request it to you as well :)

I have ADHD and other mental conditions and stuff and was wondering, if it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, that you could do the 141 + Konig where the reader (female) had ADHD and was super energetic and talkative the entire day and the boys were just stressed out from the long day or a bad mission and had said something hurtful to the reader, which caused them to either try and suppress their ADHD ticks or just talk less and become less energetic and social.

I’m a sucker for angst cuz I’m sad and lonely lol 🥹. If you could please do this or at least think about it that would be amazing, thanks 🫶🫶

Hello, my love. I LOVED your ask and gave it a shot. I hope you´ll forgive me that I only came up with something for Ghost, Price and König so far. Maybe I´ll do another part with Gaz and Soap.

As I don´t have ADHD or know anyone who does, I really hope I catured what it´s like as best as possible. Please let me know if there´s something wrong. Please enjoy and don´t feel lonely! There´s a whole community for CoD out there who welcome you with open arms! <3

Warnings: angst, panic, yelling, cursing, fluff, hurt/comfort

Words: 3.001

Ghost

You were just putting away the dishes from your dinner when you heard the front door open. Your heart lurched into your throat knowing who just came home. You bolted around the corner and there he was. The hulking figure of your boyfriend Simon. His frame took over most of the space of the short hallway as he moved to take off his jacket. You knew he needed a little time to adjust before he would be able to give you attention so you waited, though still hopping from one excited foot to the other quickly. Grinning wildly and lightly giggling.   

You heard a long sigh coming from Simon and your heart sank a little. It must have been a draining mission. He lifted his head and his dark eyes looked at you wearily. You stopped hopping immediately and a cold, cold shiver ran over your back. You saw the haunted look in your boyfriends eyes and you didn’t know how to help him best right now. Then, to really spike your panic, you saw Simon shake his head and move backwards to the door. “I can´t deal with this tonight” was all he murmured before he turned and left your shared apartment, leaving you standing there with the most horrible feeling in your stomach.

Simon was at a loss. He was sitting in a quiet corner of his favourite Pub, sulking into his pint. The last mission almost cost him every single one of his team members. Johnny was still in hospital. He just couldn’t deal with bubbly, happy or hyper right now. At least that´s what he thought. His fist clenched around the glass when he tried to suppress his self-loathing. Wasn’t your talkative person and happy nature exactly what had enticed him in the first place? What was he doing? Instead of listening to you ramble about your day, about the newest plant you got or how much you enjoyed cooking this new dish, effectively draining all the bad thoughts from his mind, he was sitting alone in a Pub, still thinking about the horrors of the last couple of weeks.

He knew all you´d wanted to do a couple of hours ago was envelop him into your arms and making him feel home. A huge gash opened in his chest. Growling at himself he stood and left the Pub. He had to see you right now.

In your apartment you sat on the couch, trying to read one of your favourite books and not feel rejected by the one you loved. You really tried to understand why he left. Why he left you with these words hanging in the air. Where you really too much? You were just excited. Was that too much as well? You felt your eyes sting. The front door opened and your heart plummeted into your stomach.

He needed space, so you stayed seated and decided you wouldn’t bother him with your presence until he really wanted it. At the door, Simon waited for your hurried footsteps, craving your hug more than anything. But nothing came. No footsteps, no happy squeal, nothing. He knew he´d fucked up big time then.

As he walked into the living room and saw you sitting on the couch, his heart squeezed painfully when you wouldn’t look at him. He heard you sniffle and immediately went over to you. “I´m sorry, dove. I´m so, so sorry” he whispered when he sat down and immediately pulled your whimpering form onto his lap. You held onto his shirt and marvelled in his scent and warm, firm chest. Simon buried his head into your hair and still continued to apologise. “I stepped over the line when I said what I said, my love. I can deal with it! I need your bubbly self, especially now. I´m so sorry.” His big arms caged you in and slowly you came down. Warmth and love melted into your veins again as you spoke.

“If you need more space from me when you come back, just let me know before you come home. So I´m not a bother.” You heard a desperate sound crawling up his throat when he repositioned you to look into your eyes. His big hands were framing your face when he said in a choked up voice “No. No, don’t ever hide who you are from me. I´m the one who needs to work on this. You did nothing wrong.” He sighed. “I thought I couldn’t deal with it but the truth is, it made everything much worse. I need your adorable rambling when I come back so I don’t have to think about what happened. It just took me a while to realise and I´m incredibly sorry. I´ll do better, I promise. I love you.” You shook your head and lovingly stroked his face. “Just let me know exactly what you need and I´ll adjust. Just don’t push me away like that. I love you just as much.” He kissed your fingertips, your nose, your forehead and finally your lips. “Never again, love. I promise.” You smiled against his lips and kissed them again.

Cuddling on the couch for several minutes he could feel the words stuck on your tongue just dying to come out. “What is it?” he asked with a grin. You grinned back just as wide. “I bought a new plant” you said with a giggle. Simon sighed happily and nodded his head. “Of course you did” he said lovingly. “Go on then, show me.”

Price

John had been home for about three days now and was still on edge. He really tried not to let it show or not make you worried about him. He still had a lot of paperwork to fill out and visits to the base. You wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible so you decided to really scrub down the flat.

You were really proud of yourself when you finally came to the last room, John´s office. It smelled of leather, John and faint cigar smoke. Smiling fondly you looked at the clean and organised desk. John´s things always had a designated place to be, at least on his desk. Smiling giddily you took a picture frame into your hands. It showed John and you at one of Gaz´s barbeques. John had a beer bottle in hand, red cheeks and smiling so wide, his eyes were completely closed. The picture was made just as you´d jumped onto his back clumsily, almost making him fall. You were perched on his back, your arms thrown around his shoulders. John was leaning forward slightly but already had one hand securely and possessively on your thigh, holding you to him. At this very moment you felt so incredibly lucky to have met him.

John came back later that evening, just as you started preparing dinner. He looked exhausted and a little annoyed as he entered the kitchen and living space, smiling at you shortly and kissing your forehead. You hummed sweetly. “I cleaned the whole apartment today” you said grinning. John raised an eyebrow and looked around. His lips twitched. “You did good, love. Everything´s so orderly.” You knew how much he loved it when the lovely chaos you preferred living in was a little more controlled. You giggled and kissed his cheek. “Get washed up, dinner will be ready soon.” He gave you a grateful smile and nodded, leaving the kitchen.

Several minutes later you heard heavy footsteps stomping down the hallway. Curious you looked at the door just as John walked in. His shoulders were tense and his blue eyes blitzed dangerously and annoyed. “Did you clean my office as well?” he asked quickly, crossing his arms over his chest. You blinked. “Yes, why?” you asked. He shook his head and huffed. “Then I´m sure you can tell me where the bloody hell my work phone is!” You took a short step back when you heard him raise his voice that way. Slight panic settled into your chest. “Uhm” you said and tried to think if you saw his phone. “I´m not sure if…” “You´re not sure? Ok. I´m sure,___. It was on my desk when I left. You know how important that thing is? Where did you put it?” Your head was reeling when you really tried to think if you removed the phone from his desk. “I-I don’t remember” you said breathlessly. John groaned.

“You know, what good is it that you finally clean up your clutter if you remove the things that I actually need?”

Immediately after he closed his mouth he saw you fall into yourself. Your shoulders sagged, your whole face showed panic and bewilderment. Worst of all however was the moment he saw all the light vanish from your eyes. He knew instantly he made a huge mistake. Yes, he was annoyed, but it wasn’t like the phone was gone forever. The both of you just had to find it. When you turned around he knew you didn’t want him to see you like that. He felt terrible. You´d put up with his demeanour for the last couple of days and the first inconvenience made him explode like that. He heard you sniffle.

“___” he said in a small voice, walking over to you. “___, love, I´m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me to say. It´s just a phone. We´ll find it.” He saw you nod but you didn’t turn around. “Baby” he tried again. This time you did turn around and his heart almost gave out. Your eyes were brimming with tears but they looked at him with no emotion at all. Your mouth was a straight line and your jaw was set. “You know I have trouble remembering things. You know that keeping up with one task at the time is basically impossible for me.” He nodded and hung his head. “I know” he said slowly. You huffed. “I´m sorry. I´ll find your phone as soon as dinner is ready.”

John shook his head, walked over and turned off the stove. You looked at him curiously. He grabbed your hand and led you over to the sofa. He urged you to sit down and the moment you did, he knelt on the floor in front of you and touched his forehead to your knees. He breathed you in for several moments before lifting his head. “I really should learn how to prioritise things better. I know how to keep everything orderly and all that but…now it´s not only me and my job. Now it´s also you and me. I sometimes forget about that, my love and I am sorry.”

You looked down at him and felt your anger, embarrassment and shame slowly fade. You nodded weakly. “My sweet girl” he whispered and held you face in his palms. “I really appreciate that you did this. That you put up with me as well. I know I haven’t been very communicative with you.” You lightly shrugged and he shook his head. “You can´t just let me get away with these things, my love. Please. I know it´s hard for you, but you can hold me accountable for what I´m doing or saying.”

“Okey” you said and breathed in deep. “You´re right. What you said was absolutely uncalled for. It hurt and embarrassed me. I´m not proud of the way I let things go sometimes. It takes an immense amount of effort to even come to the point of wanting to organise and clean stuff.” John stroked his thumbs lovingly over your cheeks. “And I´m sorry about your phone, John. I promise, I´ll help you find it.” He sighed deeply and pulled your head towards him. Hesitating for a moment to see your reaction, you smiled at him and leaned down more to kiss him. A relieved breath escaped his nose when he kissed you back right away. You detached from him again and with pure joy he saw the light back in your eyes.

“Let´s have dinner and then we´ll look for your phone, yeah?” you asked. He nodded immediately and helped you stand again. He pulled you close by the waist and peppered your face with little kisses until you giggled and tried to wriggle out of his hold.

“Can I help?” he asked. You nodded and gestured towards the fridge. “Could you please get the meatballs out?” John nodded and opened the fridge. Stunned, he stood in front of it for a bit too long. You looked over to him questioningly. “John? What is it? The meatballs are right there.”

He nodded slowly and then his shoulders started to shake with laughter. “What?” you asked perplexed.

John, still giggling, closed the fridge with the platter of meatballs in one hand and his work phone in the other. Your eyes went round and a blush crept up your neck and up to your cheeks. “Oh, Jesus…”

Both of you started laughing again and John went over to you and held you in his strong arms until you both stopped, short of breath. He leaned his head against yours and very softly said “I love you so much.”

König

Laughing hysterically at one of Soap´s jokes you clutched König´s arm next to you and buried your head in his shoulder. The latest mission was over and the 141 decided to wind down at one of the local pubs. König had asked you to join them and shortly after you walked into the pub and jumped into your lovers arms without hesitation. He lifted you up and swung you from side to side before holding your face gently and kissing you long and hard. The whoops and hollers from Gaz and Johnny were ignored by the two of you. You were just happy to be with each other again.

Your happiness bubbled through every pore in your body, the alcohol in your system making you relaxed and buzzing. You´d bantered with Soap the whole evening. The music and over all volume of the pub forced you to raise your voice once in a while. No one seemed to care though.

With a light kiss to König´s cheek you excused yourself to the bathroom and stumbled over to the little door. König watched your with fond eyes, his heart swelling by the minute. Soaps elbow connecting with his ribs and he gave him a sly wink. “So, when´re you goin´ to ask the lass ta marry your arse?” he asked. König´s face lit up immediately. He grinned shily. “I do have the ring already but…I´m really not sure when I should ask.” Johnny nodded. “Best not wait too long my friend” he said wisely. “Yer not the only one noticin´ her. She surely knows how to present herself.” He winked at König.

König´s eyes had a soft look in them. “Yeah, I know.” He said and sighed deeply. “She´s a LOT!”

Just as he said it, he felt your presence next to him and smiled up at you. Said smile vanished immediately when he saw the hurt on your face. He was a bit bewildered as to why you looked at him like her whole world just collapsed. Without saying anything you turned around and stormed towards the doors. “___!” he yelled and scrambled from his seat in the booth going after you.

Outside he looked left and right quickly and spotted you walking briskly away from the venue to his right. He started running and thanks to his long legs it didn’t take him much time to catch up with you. The moment he reached out for your arm and you whipped around shaking it off, his heart broke into a million pieces. Tears were streaming down your face and deep, deep hurt was still edged onto your features. “Liebling, what-?” “I´m a lot, huh? König, do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? You making fun of me in front of our friends?” You hiccupped and wiped your face with your sleeve.

König´s heart began to hammer in his chest. “Making fun of you? I didn´t. How could I make fun of you?” He started hyperventilating a little when you flinched away from his touch yet again. “What´d I do?” he asked in a panicked voice.  You huffed disbelievingly. “You said I was a lot to handle, König. That´s so…rude. You know I can´t control how loud I am sometimes.” König´s eyes went wide.

“A lot to handle….” He whispered desperately. “No. No, Liebling, that´s not what I meant at all!” You gave him a questioning look. “I´d never say something like that about you.”

“Then what did you mean? König, saying someone is a lot, is quite-“

“A lot of perfect!! You´re…you´re perfect” he almost yelled at you, desperate to bring his point across. “I sometimes don’t really know the words to express what I´m trying to say but, mein Schatz….I´d never willingly hurt you or try to put you down like that.”

A feeling of shame overcame you. Here was this wonderful, soft man just trying to get through the day as best he can. You should´ve considered that English wasn’t his first language.

“König” you said breathily and reached out your hand which he immediately took. “I´m sorry. I should´ve talked to you first but…you know, being a bother or too much….it´s just one of the things that make me very insecure.” König lifted your hand to his lips immediately and you could have cried again by the way he so gently kissed your knuckles.

“You´re not too loud, or too talkative, or too forward. You´re too much…you! Sometimes I don´t know how to tell people that I would literally kill for you. That I would do anything to make you happy!”

Your arms wined themselves around his neck as you pulled him down for a passionate kiss. “I love you, König” you said against his mouth. “I´m sorry I stormed out like that.” He shook his head and brushed his nose with yours. “I love you too, my love. So much.” You grinned and hugged him again, having to stand on your tiptoes to do so. He pressed another kiss to your forehead. “Will you come back inside? The evening is still young” he asked. You nodded immediately and took his large hand in yours.

König´s heart raced and he knew exactly what to do to erase every single doubt from your mind. As he guided you back to the pub, his other hand that wasn´t holding yours gently thumbed at the locket around his neck, containing the ring he wanted to give you since day one.

_________________________________________

Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know in the comments what you think about this take. A like and reblog is of course always appreciated <3

Love you and stay safe!

[harleys1nhawaii]

LACRYMOSA

pairing: dabi / todoroki touya x gn!reader

warnings: angst, major character death, implied sexual intercourse

a/n: not proof read. pure angst and sadness. this song always created an atmosphere in my mind like this. i’m happy i got to write about it cuz i’m terrible at writing down my thoughts. i’m proud if y’all feel terrible<3

“grief is the price we pay for love.” said queen elizabeth. perhaps because of it’s uniqueness, you had never truly understood how it felt before. you couldn’t have guessed how much it would hurt, or how the world around you would fade away and leave you alone by yourself in the burden.

the sun is shining too bright. the birds aren’t chirping like they used to. even the stars are refusing to shine. grieving over the things you can’t repair. out on your own, cold and alone again. can this be what you really wanted, baby?

you couldn’t get your last night with him out of your head. shedding silent tears with your head on his chest, sinking into his embrace. you knew this was the unavoidable truth and couldn’t have prevented it. assuring yourself that this time wasn’t that time wasn’t something you could do forever. you couldn’t escape the truths of his wicked life, you couldn’t hold him back.

“will you come back?”

there you were, such a helpless fool. asking questions that you knew the answers of, hoping for a miracle to happen. praying to your gods as you curse at them at the same time. maybe if they weren’t so cruel, maybe if they were kind enough to bless him with a beautifully written fate, you wouldn’t have been begging your boyfriend to stay. to live.

he was silent as the blood made it’s way all the way through his cheek to the soft cotton case of the pillow. the bright moonlight shined into his cerulean eyes as he cracked a wicked smile to himself. this fresh wound that has opened deep inside of his heart had to be aching, but instead it was filled right up to the brim with a burning excitement.

he wasn’t going to lie, nor sugarcoat his words.

you dug yourself into him harder, pressing your face against the fabric of his tshirt, wet with your own tears.

you weren’t stupid. you knew what that meant. he wasn’t coming back. he’s no longer eating dinner you would make for two . he’s no longer watching stupid horror movies with you and then making out on the same couch for half the movie. when you go to bed at night, he won’t be there to hug you and fall asleep. after tonight, he wasn’t going to bed again.

after all those years of living a lowlife and waiting for the right time, he couldn’t go back and lose all the progress. he wasn’t going to die before he could kill his father. and since not dying has became a goal for the night of his day, he couldn’t turn down his this one only chance. “i can’t change who i am now, not this time. i won’t lie to keep you waiting for me. and in this short life,” he paused, exhaling a deep breath. “there’s no time to waste on giving up.”

“and you can blame it on me. set your guilt free, honey.” you squeeze your jaw to not let out a sob, gulping with the taste of his ashes.

“i don’t want to hold you back now, love. goodbye.”

that night you didn’t sleep. you wrapped your arms around him and tasted him on your tongue. his scent, his curves, his burns, his fresh pale skin. you memorized every little detail to keep him forever alive in your mind. you didn’t resist when he shifted from under you at pre sunrise. you didn’t move, you didn’t open your eyes. you knew you wouldn’t let him go if you saw how he pulled his clothes on and grabbed his coat from your hanger.

you shivered when you felt his mismatched lips press on your forehead, burning your skin.

“live a beautiful life, baby.” you heard him whisper into your neck. you kept your eyes closed, forcing your tears to hold in. you heard the front door open. you prayed to your gods to send down a miracle to make him change his mind and go prepare some breakfast instead. they didn’t.

you heard the door slam back when tears made their way rolling down on down your cheeks.

your love wasn’t enough.

[gunilslaugh]

Honestly the highlight of my day is seeing your new posts your such a good writer keep it uppp omll-

But can I request bf XH catching the reader crying but they push XH away cuz they are insecure about there “ugly cry” , I have an ugly cry myself it’s so discouraging cuz I feel like most ppl don’t look as ugly as I do when they cry~ (can the reader be crying cuz of similar reasons too? I’m in a very angst mood)

Take your time seriously you work rlly hard :)

Aww thank you so much! Don't worry I'm an ugly crier too.

All members π - π

Summary: Xdinary Heroes reaction to significant other not wanting them to see their ugly cry.

WC:~1.3k

Warning:grammar, talks about family members in hospitals.

photo not mine credits to owner.

Gunil

Today has just become a horrible day. You had just gotten off the phone. One of your family members was currently in the hospital. You felt like your heart dropped to your stomach. Tears began to flow from your eyes. You slowly dropped down onto the floor as your legs began to give out. Curling up into a ball you brought your knees to your chest and cried. Gunil arrived home and found you in your current state. You quickly tried to wipe away your tears. Not wanting Gunil to see your ugly crying face, but your tears wouldn’t stop.

“Y/n what’s wrong?” he asked, very concerned. He approached you putting his hands on your shoulders, but you tried to push him away looking down. “Why are you pushing me away?” Gunil was hurt by your actions. 

“I look really ugly right now,” you sniffled out, bringing up your hands to hide your face. Gunil sighs. He approaches you again, but this time he wraps you up in a hug, hiding your face into his chest.

“There I can’t see you. Now what’s wrong?” he asked. He wants to argue with you about how you couldn’t possibly look ugly to him, but you’re clearly upset, so he’ll save it for another time.

Jungsu

You couldn’t stop crying since you received the news. One of your grandparents had been moved into hospice care. They had been in the hospital for awhile now and your family saw it coming, but it was still hard. You were laying in your bed, buried under a blanket as you cried into your pillow. Jungsu came back home after practice and at first thought that maybe you were out since you were normally in the living room when he got back. After finding you in the bedroom and hearing your cries from under the covers his heart broke. 

“Y/n what’s the matter?” he questioned coming over to where you laid. You pulled the blanket over your head to prevent him from seeing what a mess you looked like. You were not a pretty crier and very insecure about it. “Y/n, don’t hide from me. I don’t care what you look like when you cry. I just want to comfort you.” he tried to pull the blanket from your head. You still don’t budge, so Jungsu climbs into bed behind you. He spoons you from behind, soothingly stroking your head from the outside of the blanket. After some time you came out from the blanket, only to hide your face in Jungsu’s chest, but it was progress and Jungsu was more than happy to take it.

Gaon/Jiseok

One of your family members was just rushed to the emergency room. They are gonna be ok, but they still need to stay in the hospital for a few more days. The whole situation had really shaken you up, it was really scary. Being overwhelmed with emotions you began to cry it all out. Sitting on the couch while clutching a pillow that was being dampened by your tears. Jiseok had come back home, finding you in your distraught state. He rushed over to your side asking you about what was wrong and are you alright. However you didn’t answer, you shoved him away with one arm and used the other to cover your tear stained, red face with the pillow. 

“How come you're pushing me away! I want to help you.” he said. 

“I look really ugly when I cry,” you explained. It came out mumbled since you still had your face pressed into the pillow. Jiseok actually laughed, finding what you said ridiculous. 

“Y/n it can’t be that bad.” He tried to pull the pillow from your face, but you resisted. “Even if it is, I won't love you any less because of it,” Jiseok says. That’s what you needed to hear as you dropped the pillow from your face. Jiseok pulls you in for a hug.

O.de/Seungmin

A family member of yours just received some bad news regarding their health and now they have to decide if they want to get treatment for it. This was very stressful for you too and the news of it has caused you to have a little bit of a breakdown. You were in the kitchen making lunch when you received the news. That’s why you're now, sitting on the hard tile floor, crying your eyes out. Seungmin arrived back home and saw the abandoned ingredients sitting on the counter. Then he heard your sobs. He walked around the counter discovering you.

“Y/n what happened?” he questions. He approached you and you brought your knees up to hide your face, even turned away from Seungmins direction. “Why are you avoiding me?” You could hear the hurt in his voice as he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. 

“I’m a very ugly crier. I don’t want you to see me like this,” you told him. 

“Y/n how you look when you cry doesn’t change anything. I just want to be here for you, but if you really don’t want me to see you then I’ll close my eyes.” You peeked your head out and sure enough Seungmin was there with his eyes closed. Even if he thinks you're being a bit ridiculous he doesn’t want to make you anymore upset.

Junhan/Hyeongjun

One of your grandparents was currently in the hospital and you were still waiting to get some results back, but things weren’t looking good and you feared for the worst. Everything about it was completely nerve wracking. You couldn’t help it as the tears cascaded down your face. You were under so much stress and it broke you. You sat on your bed with a tissue box just letting it all out. Hyeongjun was immediately put off by the sounds of your sniffling when you came back home. He rushed to the bedroom to find you. Upon seeing Hyeongjun enter you shied away. 

“Y/n, why are you so upset?” he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. He felt his heart twinge as you avoided looking at him. 

“I look really ugly right now Hyeongjun, don’t look at me,” you told him. 

“Come on y/n you know I don’t care about how you look. I love you no matter what.” You still don’t face him, but you don’t shy away from him either when he places his hands on your shoulders. He gently turns you to face him. You don’t meet his eyes. He wipes your tears with his thumbs then pulls you into a hug.

Jooyeon

News about someone being in the hospital was always sad. Of course it was even sadder and harder news when it was your own family member. Someone that you care very much about. You sat in the middle of the living room floor as you cried. The seemingly never ending tears streamed down your face. You have gone through, you don’t even know the amount of tissues. When Jooyeon returned home from practice, worry instantly consumed him as he saw your state. 

“Y/n what happened? What’s wrong?” he rapidly questioned. His concern only grew as you pushed him away, looking away from him. Did he do something? He panics.

“I’m a severely ugly crier Jooyeon. I don’t want you to see me like this,” you say. Jooyeon almost feels relieved. He thought he messed up. He can’t help the chuckle that escaped him. 

“Y/n you see my ugly side all the time and don’t judge me for it. I’m not gonna judge your ugly side either,” he consoles you. You still feel too insecure to face him. Jooyeon sighs, placing his hand on your face making you look at him. “I don’t see what ugliness you're talking about. I see a very sad y/n and I don’t like it.” 

[brooooswriting]

Hello once again so,

Vada Cavell being high cuz of the whole shooting situation and R finds her past out on the sidewalk takes her home and takes care of her.

ofc if you don't feel like writing this for any reason

delete this

have a good day <3

Hi can I request Vada Cavell x reader where they both get high together and it leads to something more. Thank u I hope you have a amazing day

Higher than life

Vada Cavell x reader

Tw: weed, overdose, mentions of school shootings

You were on your way home from school after another dreadful day, teachers who tried to get the work done while ignoring the obvious pain of the students, consuls who tried to keep the moral up, security randomly checking peoples bag and students anxiously and depressed sitting in class counting down the seconds. For almost all of them it was the first shooting, it wasn’t for you. You moved here a year ago as your parents constantly had to move for their job and before you went here you were in schools in Texas and Ohio (just took random ones, please don’t come for me) where you were involved in shootings.

It still hurt, it still made you angry and mad and it still made you anxious but you knew how to cope with it, better than most. Sure Nick took his trauma and made something out of it but it may be him and around 10 other people while the rest is going down.

You sat in your car at a red light, staring out the window as your fingers drummed against your thigh completely out of space. At least until you saw someone familiar, Vada Cavell, sitting on the sidewalk starring into the sky. You thought for a moment before your turning signal went on and you took a right turn to hold in front of the girl.

Vada wasn’t quite the person you thought of becoming friends with, not that she wasn’t pretty and nice but there was just something about her that made you keep your distance at first. But in the end she just woed you with her humor and those damn pretty eyes, which was how you became friends. After the shooting you guys kinda drifted, just like she did with Nick, as she was always hanging out with Mia and while you actually really liked Mia you couldn’t disagree with Nick. The blond girl wasn’t a really good influence on Vada at the moment, it makes you sound prude. But while you weren’t really against some alcohol and weed you just knew that they weren’t a way to deal with the trauma.

“Vada, what are you doing here?” You asked as you stopped the car causing the brunette to tilt her head towards you. By now you could see her blood shot red eyes and the drowsy look on her face, she was barely responsive which made you hurry out of your car. “Vada, come on, get up” you told her as you tried to get her to keep her eyes open. After another two tries you just picked her up and sat her in the passenger seat of the car before lightly slapping her cheek. She grumbled a bit before slightly opening her eyes, “what did you take?!” You were quick to ask as it was obvious that she wouldn’t stay awake for long. “A lot of weeeeeeeeed” she giggled closing her eyes again, “how much Vada!” You buckled her in before she even answered. “Like… two and a half joints?”

You rolled your eyes as you closed her door, it wasn’t enough for her to have serious consequences. She’d probably throw up in the next couple of hours and then have a terrible headache but nothing more.

You sat behind the wheel thinking about where you would bring her. You couldn’t bring her home like this, you knew her mom and she would make such a big deal out of it. So you decided to bring her to your home, your parents were gone for the next two days anyway.

The drive was rather silent as the small girl next to you was still asleep and you were deep in your head. Normally driving cleared your head but right now you only wanted to arrive to take care of her, seeing her like this scared you, you were scared to lose her even though she wasn’t really yours.

When you arrived at your home you didn’t even try to wake her as you picked her up again and carried her into your bed room where you laid her under your blanket after you took her shoes off before sitting in the living room. After you read a bit you decided to cook something as you knew she’d get the munchies after weed, she always did.

So you balanced cooking and looking after her every 5 to 10 minutes to make sure she was still fine and breathing. It was crazy how many lives on idiot with a gun could ruin and how idiotic it was that this was even possible in America. Every student or teacher you saw that was shaking anxiously broke your heart.

You were nearly done with the pasta and the dessert when you heard some movement in your room, someone running to the bathroom to be more precise. Turning off the stove, you walked to the bathroom to find your friend laying on the ground with her head next to the toilet. “You alright?” You asked as you sat down next to her, taking a bit of paper to clean her mouth. “‘M great” she mumbled sarcastically causing you to smirk. “That’s what you get from overdosing on weed, idiot” you pulled her into a small hug which she gladly accepted as she leaned back into you. “Why don’t you take a shower? You can get some of my cloths and I’ll give you a toothbrush and then you can eat something” you suggested causing her to whine and shake her head. “Nooo, too tired”

You were and at the same time weren’t surprised. She just slept for like 3 hours but at the same time her body was fighting the overdoses. “How about you brush your teeth and eat a bit? Your body needs the energy and then you can sleep again, huh?” You were comfortingly rubbing her back as she kept whining and squirming. “Nooo” you finally had enough as you sat her onto the closed toilet lit and grabbed a toothbrush to brush her teeth yourself. Sure, it was a lot more complicated than her doing it herself but at least it was done.

After you were done brushing her teeth you made her walk into the bedroom while you got her food. “Here, eat at least a bit before you fall asleep again” your tone was strict causing her to pick up the fork and start picking at the food. “You still remember my favorite food” she drowsily smiled clearly showing that there was still weed in her system. “Of course I did, just because you forgot about me the last weeks doesn’t mean I forgot about you” you were truthful, while she didn’t reach out or answered you, you were constantly thinking of how she felt and if she was okay. Her smile disappeared as she guiltily kept eating.

Once she was done you went to put the food away until a hand on your wrist stopped you. “Can you stay please? I don’t like being alone” the look in her eyes broke your heart, so you sat down the plate on your nightstand and laid next to her. Her arms immediately wrapped around you, her head landed on your chest and one of her legs was over yours. You couldn’t deny the fact that you liked the way this felt. Which was probably why it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep too.

At least until Vadas phone started to blow up, texts and calls from her family, you completely forgot about them. Unsure of what to do, you stared at her phone. You could a) wake her up and make her answer the phone, but she was way to tired and high for that and b) was something you haven’t quite figured out.

Luckily you didn’t have to figure it out as your phone started to ring, your display showing the younger Cavells name. “Amelia, hey” you carefully whispered into the phone trying not to wake the girl next to you. “Y/n, do you know where Vada is? She didn’t come home, she isn’t answering her phone, everybody is freaking out” her breath was quick and her voice was unsteady, it was clear that she had been crying. “Oh, I’m so sorry. She’s with me, we fell asleep and forgot to text, her phone is probably on silent. Tell your parents that she’s with me, safe and that I’ll bring her to school tomorrow alright?” Your voice was kind and reassuring. “Okay, thank you. I’m sorry for spamming your phone” you grinned as the girl spoke. “No problem, I’ll see you around ok?”

After you hung up you decided to clean the kitchen before watching some Tv in the living room. The time neared 1 am when you decided to go to bed too, which put you up for another ultimatum. A) sleep next to her, like she asked you before or b) sleep in the guest room. You didn’t quite want to sleep next to her as she was still high when she asked you to do so and you felt like it wasn’t fair as long as she didn’t know how you felt, but you also didn’t wanna leave her alone so you settled into the arm chair next to the bed.

You woke up around 5:45 am to get ready before Vada woke up. You showered, brushed your teeth, did your hair, packed your bag, then put some painkillers and a water next to Vada before starting breakfast.

While you were cooking with your music blasting through the house, the brunette finally woke up. It took her a moment to realize where she was but as soon as she did notice that it was your house she relaxed. She was also more than happy to see the painkillers as she immediately chugged them.

You didn’t hear her walking into the kitchen nor did you notice her standing next to you until you bumped into her, nearly letting the pan fall. “Jeez, you scared me” you said as you put the pan down before turning towards her causing her to mumble a ‘sorry’. “How’s your head?” She groaned as an answer which made you grin, “well, I don’t wanna repeat myself, but that’s what you get for overdosing. Now sit down so you can eat breakfast before getting ready” you told her as you put a plate on the table before sitting down in front of her. “Thank you. For everything, not just for breakfast” her voice was small and quiet.

“Vada, we still have to talk about this” you started and her eyes immediately lowered. “I know that this shit is crazy and I get that it fucks with you, but drugs are not the solution. If you feel so terrible than come talk to me or talk to Nick but don’t overdose. You know how scary it was to find you completely out of it on a sidewalk after not hearing from you for over a week?” You were rambling, you knew that, but you just couldn’t stop yourself. Yeah, the situation wasn’t as bad but that doesn’t mean that it’s okay. “Don’t start this y/n” her voice suddenly turned cold and serious which made you flinch for a second. “Don’t start what?” You were genuinely confused. “Don’t talk to me or scold me like I’m a child” she was mad, more about taking it so far and nearly making you cry than about you scolding her but she didn’t know how to say that.

“I’m not talking to you like a child, you’re grown but that doesn’t make what you’re doing okay” you tried to keep your calm as your eyes watered even further. “You’re right! I’m an adult so I can do whatever I want” you scoffed. “Look, if you wanna hurt me by choosing Mia over me, while I’m pretty sure you know I’m in love with you, that’s fine but if you wanna hurt me, your friends, your family by overdosing then I’ll drive you to Mia. If that’s your plan, then keep away from me and Amelia, she doesn’t deserve this” you stood up and walked into the guest room slamming the door shut.

Vada has never hated anyone more than herself in this moment, how could she hurt you like this? You saved her yesterday, and she only hurt you. She loved you, she did since the first time she met you but she was too scared to do anything and now that she had an opportunity, she fucked it up.

“Y/n, please open the door” there was no movement on the other side, even after the third try. “Look, I’m sorry alright? I don’t know why I did it and it certainly isn’t my plan to do it again. I was confused and overwhelmed and it just destroyed me in that moment and then I thought, just a couple of hits to loosen up. But they only made it worse, I didn’t get chill, I overthought everything and when I was on my way to talk to you I realized that I would have confessed my feelings for you in that moment, I would have told you how much I love you and I was scared that that would ruin everything. So I took another couple of hits and it just kept going like that. But I promise I won’t touch anything like that anymore unless you’re with me. Now please open the door” her words were hectic, not well spoken and some barely understandable but they were true and that’s all that counted.

You opened the door and her eyes immediately met your bloodshot ones. She hugged you tightly trying to hide her own teary eyes. “I’m sorry” was a phrase she mumbled over and over again until you parted. “Can you stop apologizing and finally kiss me?” You asked her with your hands still on her shoulder. She grabbed your waist to pull you into her to finally connect your lips, causing you to melt into her.

This was everything you needed in that certain moment, it reassured you that she was still here, very much alive, and that you could influence her to stop doing drugs. Your lips moved against each other until your timer rang. “We gotta go to school” you whispered, your face inches apart from hers. “Fine” she grumbled before pulling you closer once more.

That day you walked into school hand in hand, Vada a bit less anxious. It was going to be a long way until she would be fine in school and didn’t touch weed anymore, but you promised yourself and her that you’d be there for her every step of the way.

[ashsostrange]

i’m (not) sorry to say, but miles is better off by himself.

idk if i’ve ever written a post this long, but i got energy tonight. y’all have been sucked into the black hole of shipping, so let me ground you and remind you of this amazing thing called being single. i’m gna talk ab margo and gwen, but mostly gwen bc she’s obv miles’ (main) love interest. i’ve said more than enough about why miles and gwen don’t work/make sense. if you wna be enlightened then feel free to click the links.

thoughts on ghostflower: here!

reblogging a moot's post w/ added thoughts: hereee!

i love ranting so let’s get it! 😛

i don't have much to say about margo bc sadly, she's barely there. what i will say though is that as cute as miles and margo would be together, there’s one more movie left lol. the third movie’s gna be busy as hell. there’s literally no time for romance, and to rush miles and margo (two people who just met) into liking each other in, like, a three hour timespan would just be terrible writing. plus, we all know she’s there for some bs having to do with miles nd gwen, which is literally soooooooo very lame, words can't describe. one, where are you finding the time to cram in jealousy/all this angsty romance mess when miles’ dad is ab to die and the universe is ab to collapse bc of a nigga that looks like the lovechild of a cardboard box and a cow?? two, is this really all margo is here for?? to make gwen jealous or “help miles realize he’s in love with gwen” ?? shameeee, like summer said. 😐 i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: margo could be SO much more than a disposable love interest!!!

gwiles/ghostflower fans, i’m going to tell you something that will make you upset. i said i was coming for you and i meant it 🗣️‼️

before you yell at me and push smoke out of your ears, i need you to put your right hand on your chest and close your eyes. you feel your heartbeat? good. now, count to three while taking deep breaths and remember that none of this shit is real so you’d look stupid af trying to attack me. 🙃 some of y’all are getting TOO comfortable being unnecessarily disrespectful and ion like that lol. don’t try it here bc i’m on another level of not gaf!

listen, even if (when?) gwen and miles team up to save his dad, it won’t change the fact that gwen was keeping some hefty info from miles, yo. she was smiling in jeff’s face and cracking jokes like she didn’t know he was bout to die. y’all gotta be so very real with yourselves. you wouldn’t wna date, let alone be FRIENDS with someone who kept something that big from you, regardless of the circumstances or lack of ill intent. one of the most important people in your life concealing the fact that you’re about to lose another important person in your life is insane.

i’m aware that gwen didn’t tell miles about his dad because she genuinely thought it’d cause mass destruction if he saved jeff. thing is, even if miles knew that, i think he’d still feel betrayed. that’s 100% valid because this is his dad we’re talking about. he just lost his uncle not too long ago, too. i wouldn’t blame miles if he never wanted anything to do with gwen again. i wouldn’t blame bro if he got sick to his stomach every time he saw her. it’d be justified, bc if he never followed her that night, then he wouldn’t have had the chance to save jeff.

my point is that you can be a “good person” and still fuck up bad enough to make someone never wna speak to you again. miles is a sweetheart so he’ll probably forgive gwen. my thing is, miles forgiving gwen doesn’t mean the two of them are obligated to be friends again. they can handle it maturely, go their separate ways, nd never speak again. it’s really not even gna hurt y’all cuz it’s the last mf movie anyway??? 😭😭

if it isn’t clear by now, i don’t want miles and gwen together at all. they have no business being around each other frl 🙃 not as friends and definitely not as lovers. like, sure, that one scene where they’re swinging/talking on the bank was my absolute fav. it was cute. i shipped them before i really thought about it. that scene is still my fav, but my adoration for it isn’t gna stop me from keeping it real.

i really don’t care what anyone says or how in love they think these two are, this isn’t a “forgive and forget” situation. if the writers truly wanted gwen and miles to be involved romantically, then not only should they have structured their dynamic better, they shouldn’t have made gwen the person she was in this movie. love, love, LOVE redemption arcs because it’s a reminder that we're human and we're flawed, but you can’t redeem yourself from that. sorry. (not) i say miles should leave that girl alone 🤷‍♀️ leave all potential girls alone ffs.

in conclusion, it’s okay for miles to be single. he's 15 anyway, it's not like he'll die without a girl. i’m the suckiest sucker for anything to do with romance, but characters in film/animation don’t need to have love interests for a project to be considered good. if you feel like it does, then maybe ts you’re watching just sucks, lmao. a girl and a boy can be friends without one having feelings for the other, or both of 'em having mutual feelings. (in the media idk ab irl..) it’s time to stop forcing ts. please.

and it’s okay y’all, i promise you. it’s okay if miles and gwen don’t end up dating. it's okay if they reconcile and stay friends. it’s okay if they reconcile and don’t stay friends. though unlikely, it’s also okay if miles doesn’t forgive gwen at all! resolutions like these go to show that you can “forgive” someone without letting them have access to you anymore. that’s what miles needs to do. straying away from the “happy ending” everyone is expecting would be nice. it’d be a different approach and a realistic way to complete the franchise. (i’m not just saying this bc i love angst)

but before the gwiles (ugly ass ship name btw) fans start throwing up and telling me to end my shit, it’s 99% unlikely that anything i just stated will actually happen. we’re more than likely getting a kiss between miles and gwen, nd that’s bc the writers are probably high off the same dope they were on when they wrote gwen sneaking in thru miles’ window, j for his parents to be way more calm about it than any other normal parent would be. i could say some more about certain scenes but that's for another night.

miles doesn’t need to be with anyone. especially not gwen when it comes down to it.

oh and i HATE peter b. fuck that nigga. he was nun but an extra in this movie and i know he’s an opp in the next. 🙎‍♀️

that’s all! if you read allat then thanks, cuz i wrote a lot. if you're feeling angry, then go for a walk. this isn’t a place for any typa criticism bc i am right, therefore, i am not requesting confirmation. 🙌 i said what i said. have a good night.

[true-blue-sonic]

Espilver WAH 💘

This took ages, apologies!! Also under a read more cuz it's long af XD

💘 fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss

“Silver!” Espio’s voice resounds. “Silver, are you okay?!”

Silver doesn’t know. He’s on the ground, he does know that, and there’s dirt and soot on him, he can feel that too. His head hurts really badly, that's also quite hard to miss, as is the fact the world is spinning. A yell from Eggman had filled the sky before growing softer into nothingness, he remembers. He also remembers some robot or another that had taken the fight to Sonic and friends, with fire and nukes and weapons galore that Silver had thrown himself right in front of with a shield of light crackling into existence, but then…!

Flashes. Explosions. Movement. Pain.

He's still alive, he figures if he can hear Espio talk to him. Strong hands grasp him, shake him, stroke over his quills and press against his neck, and the hedgehog fusses into movement with a cough.

“Whuh-?!”

Espio’s frantic face is the first thing Silver sees as he tears his eyes open; the relief flooding over it second. “Silver,” the chameleon whispers, clutching his shoulders. “Oh, thank goodness.”

“I’m not dead,” Silver deems it wise to insist, because he probably very much isn’t if he can see and feel Espio so clearly. Or, well, clearly: smoke billows around, interlinked with static stars dancing in front of his eyes, and also the chameleon is covered in mud and grime, though Silver cares not for it as he gets pulled into a taut hug. “What... what happened?” he manages to bring out into the other’s arm.

“Eggman’s gone. You… caught that bomb he threw at us and brought it far enough away from everyone, but it…”

“Exploded. With me,” Silver fills in at that, groaning as he rubs his head. Yep, feels like it, and his powers aren’t so happy either. But Espio is right here, tenderly lowering him to the ground again. Gratefully Silver draws a deep breath, the world's spinning slowing somewhat.

“Don’t move,” he gets ordered so gently. “Catch your breath. You’re safe.”

Neither are exactly things Silver likes doing, his ears sinking against his head in protest. But lithe fingers find themselves behind one and massage gently, making the hedgehog promptly ooze with a sigh. “How… did you get here?” he mumbles out, wracking his brain. He’d gone to intercept the threat alone, acting without thinking… His head hurts, the words heavy on his tongue and the desire to just close his eyes and let Espio fret over him overwhelming, but he's got questions aplenty. “I... I thought that, you... you were all the way on the other side?”

“Yes, but when I saw you with that bomb, I feared the worst. I rushed right over.”

Slowly Silver’s head flops onto purple knees. “And?”

“You got blown right back by the force and smacked onto the ground; no wonder you passed out,” Espio explains further, before his face twists again. In fright, Silver is sure; he’s rarely seen Espio frightened before, the chameleon’s words quiet and rattled. “You… got thrown right into a group of robots.”

“Oof. That’s not good.” But as Silver cranes his head and bares his teeth to fight them off, all he can see is wreckages. Robotic corpses torn asunder, sparks crackling into the sky… “They’re all broken,” he concludes, firm hands pressing his head down again. “Did you...?"

“…They almost got you. I was right in time.”

One ear twitching at that statement Silver swallows. Right in time… means that things could have gone very badly very quickly, and he wasn’t even aware of it. “Oh," he hums again, fighting to get words out of his shaken brain. "But that means… you saved me?”

“Of course,” the whispered, almost timid response comes. “Of course I did. I… I thought I would lose you.”

“You wouldn’t. That's impossible.” Though, even Silver knows that him being unconscious makes fighting altogether impossible, too. The thought of having been on the brink of death without having been able to do anything sends a shiver down his spine, not even Espio’s tender hands enough to soothe it.

But that means that Espio saved his whole life, the hedgehog ponders quietly. Not just bailing him out of a tough situation he could have handled by himself, but aiding him when he was at his most defenceless. And thus…

“Espio,” Silver decides, “you are my hero. I could kiss you right now.”

“Um,” says Espio.

Followed by a long, long silence.

It is only at that moment that Silver remembers that he and Espio hadn’t been alone in this fight. He’d tackled a whole region of the battlefield solo, but the others had been there, and slowly he twitches an ear to where they should be gathered in the distance. He’d not said that quietly, and that means…!

Amy’s squeal of “Awwwww!!!!” reaches him first, loud but not loud enough to drown out Rouge’s absolute cackle. The quiet “Wait, what the heck?” from Knuckles is also quite noticeable, as is Tails’ awkward cough, Charmy’s “Bleeeeeeh,” and somehow the silent smirk from Vector manages to speak volumes as well.  

“Uh,” is the next thing Espio manages to bring out.

“SO! How about we go look at the cleanup? Let’s go cleanup. Somewhere that’s not here,” Sonic decrees as Silver dares shoot a look sideways to where their friends are standing; or were standing, because he’s never seen the speedster manage to drag six people away at once in such a neckbreakingly quick fashion. In mere seconds Silver and Espio are left only with the wind and the crackles of electric sparks, and each other.

Tongue flicking past his cracked lips Silver swallows. Okay, so… that had gone badly. Really badly. Definitely not as smoothly appreciative and potentially vaguely romantic as his brain, which is probably concussed or so if he said something that stupid without thinking, intended it to be. Espio sits altogether frozen, mouth hanging open just a bit and eyes flicking from Silver’s to his lips, to the rest of his body where cuts mar the grey fur, back to Silver’s eyes, resting on his lips again, and eventually settling somewhere on his forehead. “…Sorry,” the hedgehog mumbles out eventually. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“It’s okay,” Espio sighs, tail coming up to rub one side of his temples. “I’m surprised we managed to last this long.”

Tender hands move underneath his armpits and help turn Silver around so he can sit up, so very close to Espio’s chest. “No, really,” the hedgehog insists; it's quite hard to determine how much blame he can shift on his head hurting when his hurting head makes logical reasoning really hard. Except... “I don’t know why I said th- What do you mean you’re surprised?”

“Um,” Espio says again, eyes very promptly not looking at Silver anymore, though Silver’s brow furrows.

“Last this long? I don't follow,” he repeats; and surely he doesn't not follow because his head is hurting, because what Espio said legitimately just doesn't make sense.

The chameleon for his part fidgets, clearing his throat altogether awkwardly. “It’s just, you know… Actually, never mind. It’s silly.”

“It’s not silly when it’s from you,” Silver insists, scooting up as much as his aching body and Espio allow him. There’s only one conclusion he can draw from this…! “You’ve thought about kissing me before?”

“That is quite a presumption to make,” Espio huffs back… before faltering. “But yes. Once or twice. Maybe.”

Silver’s smiling before he knows it.

“I didn’t know,” he notes, flopping over so he can sit up more straight. Espio’s eyes are definitely on his lips again, strong arms drawing him just a bit more tautly against a peach chest. The pain in his head is suddenly quite easy to ignore, in favour of warmth enshrouding him. “And you did save my life. Heroes deserve rewards.”

“Tsk. You’re the one always refusing rewards because you don’t want them. It feels disingenuous to accept something from you for that very reason,” gets brought up dryly.

Ah, Silver grins as he senses an opportunity. “You just said you thought about kissing me before.”

“…Yes.”

Silver needs no further encouragement. Stretching himself out so he can reach the hedgehog nuzzles Espio’s cheek first, very slowly. A cool hand clasps the back of his head, stroking the fur and quills there and soothing the thrumming ache inside into an ignorable nothing. Espio’s head cranes down a bit, Silver’s own fingers moving the chameleon's chin so the large yellow horn can be tipped out of the way of his face, he gets pulled up just a bit and their lips meet…! “Silver,” Espio whispers before leaning in, the hedgehog squeaking back softly, but it’s electrifying and he can’t think of anything else and he leans closer and grasps Espio too and it’s right, it’s okay, it’s better than he had ever been able to imagine…!

Miles away, Sonic is trying his very hardest to redirect his friends’ attention to helping frightened Animal Friends find their way back into the nearby surroundings, except with the buzz of whispers and grins around that’s a bit difficult. “Took them ages,” Vector proclaims, easily tearing apart a stray robot in the meantime and plucking out a Ricky. “Espio’s been pining for months, I tell ya.”

“That is sooooooo romantic,” Amy swoons with a sigh, Rouge merely grinning.

“How long until you think we’ll see them again?”

“Leave them be, you guys,” Sonic laughs; no way his friends will, and honestly, neither will he. It’s not every day that one of their more enigmatic companions basically busts out a declaration of love like that, after all. Knowing Silver, he probably wasn’t even thinking about what he was going to say and it just happened. Not that it comes as a surprise: even Sonic had not missed the way their psychic pal tends to praise Espio for how strong and cool he is, nor Espio’s quiet appreciation and constant fussing over Silver in turn. If Vector says Espio’s been pining for months and Silver just busted out that without second thought, surely they both must have been yearning for this for ages, the speedster muses to himself. Oh well; what better way for things to come to a head after dramatically saving your beloved from certain doom on the battlefield?

Good for them that they’ll be pining no more, Sonic grins to himself, and with this resolved and Eggman defeated everything is just a bit more right in the world again.

[genshin-impact-fics]

Can I ask for a continuation of Eula's part from Fatui reader pt2?

I absolutely can! Sorry it took forever to get this out but when originally started it I had my idea for it, but then my brain cells completely forgot it, but thankfully I got it back ^^'. I hope you enjoy the continuation

Talking with Amber in the privacy of her office at the knights of favonius she was trying really hard to keep herself from falling apart over the current events. Eula is literally pacing the space taking down anything you had gifted or made for her, though if there’s a picture on her desk of the two of you she’s gonna struggle throwing it in the trash or putting it face down.

Morally she did the right thing in leaving you as how could she trust you as you were on enemy sides… But why did it feel so horrible and hurt so badly that she could shoved you away and ended things. She heard the name Fatui and instantly couldn’t jeopardize the security of the knights of favonius and the people of Mondstadt.

But being sat down and listening to Amber and now actually taking in the words her lover was trying to say during the fight earlier as needless to say she’s hurting.

Cuz Amber would tots agree that Elua did the right thing breaking things off if you were willingly with the Fatui, but that wasn’t the case at all; you were another case of someone being forced to work when you didn’t want to keep seeing others getting hurt or killed. 

Which of course led to several days of trips to Angel’s Share so Eula could drink her sorrows and regrets away. She could only reflect on things as she cried while a bit tipsy; all the horrible things she called or thought about the Fatui to you when she was unaware of your affiliation to them as you listened and never even flinched or reacted to hearing her words… She was calling you those things and you let her do so

Honestly now Eula had forgotten how much time had passed since she had last seen you having spent many days drinking the rest of the days away which often led to Amber bringing drunk Eula back home leading the noblewoman to cry herself to sleep. On patrols she had kept her eyes out for you, as she’s been hoping and praying that she’d spot you or find you somewhere to apologize… But that day never came as she was even desperate enough to question a Fatui member (after beating the crap out of him) about if they’ve seen you or knew of your current whereabouts. Only to get “I don’t know, I haven’t seen them,” and a “I only heard that there was an incident during one mission and no one saw them since”. 

So pretty much with that information she was once again up on the second floor downing a beer barrel after the next crying as the music below was loud enough to hide any whimpers or sobs that had come from her. Mourning your possible death and how horrible she felt for pushing you away when you needed her the most; her constant internal conflict with herself caused her to lose you entirely, if she had helped you maybe you wouldn’t be possibly dead. Her head resting down on the table crying while clenching one of the gifts you gave her in one of her hands as there was no way she had the heart to get rid of any of it. 

One of the rare times Eula’s guard was down and wasn’t alert to anything going on in her surroundings, the sound of any footsteps coming up the wooden stairs till someone reached the floor and saw the condition Eula was in. “Oh my dear Eula, you really have gotten bad,” your voice concerned and frowned seeing your ex-lover as such approaching slowly before kneeling beside Eula. “Please go away, I’d rather not be haunted by your- ghost,” she said hiccuping as she spoke, not lifting her head. “I don’t need to be reminded I made a grave mistake not listening to what you had to say. I was a bad girlfriend for not being more supportive when you were trying to tell me you needed it. I’m sorry,” She continued babbling as she was out of it from the alcohol. “Eula I’m not dead,” you said taking her name gently rubbing your thumb over her knuckles to comfort her. “I may have tricked the Fatui into thinking I died, but I’m really alive. I’m really here,” you tried to continue to show you were in fact not haunting her.

She had started to pick up her head as maybe it was the alcohol making her hear your voice. She enjoyed listening to so much thinking the moment she went to look to see for herself you wouldn’t actually be next to her… But you were when her vision wasn’t double vision of everything. Literally launches out of her chair and tackled you to the floor hugging you tightly and crying as she proceeded to profusely apologize over and over to you. Of course returning the hug and comforting her and reassuring her that things were okay, that though it did hurt being apart you didn’t take it personally for how she reacted and such. It took quite a bit of time before Eula could settle as the two of you shared a kiss and she wasn’t too much of a hot mess. “Eula dear why don’t we get you home, I’ll cook us some food and you could get some sleep,” you said as it felt good to be back with her and that she still had feelings for you that didn’t disappear. Getting up and assisting Eula up providing her support the two of you would be leaving out the backdoor. “H-hey how did you know where I was,” Eula asked as she leaned and kind of clung to you. “Like I wouldn’t be able to find you at your favorite place to go to haha. But really while laying low I managed to get a letter to Amber allowing her to find me. To which when getting to talk things out and making sure I could be trusted, she told me that you got pretty depressed after a while and pretty much were spending any free time drinking your life away… I couldn’t let you do that to yourself,” you said, helping her safely down the steps.

“I love you, I promise to be a better girlfriend,” Eula said sniffling, nuzzling her face into yours.

“I love you too. I think you’re already a great girlfriend… Maybe tomorrow if you’re feeling up to it we can go on a swim date in Dragonspine?”

“Heh- hehe I’d like that a lot.”

[devilsrecreation]

Every time I watch this scene from Dumbo, it just reminds me of how humanity really hasn’t changed

Animals are more afraid of humans than vice versa for a reason and the reason is that stupid people exist. Irl people getting waaaaay too close to animals is one of the stupidest things to do and if they end up getting hurt, that’s on them. And the kids in this scene are a really good example of that

SO MY THOUGHTS:

First off, where tf are these kids’ parents? Idk much about how parenting was in the 40’s but isn’t it common sense to watch your child ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY’RE NEAR AN ANIMAL MUCH LARGER THAN THEM????

And on top of that, how about teaching them some respect for animals. Don’t make fun of baby animals, it’s not nice :(

“Ain’t that the funniest thing you ever saw? Look at his ears!” BRO LOOK WHO THE FUCK’S TALKING

Poor Dumbo. He thinks the boys are laughing with him than at him 😭

What really pisses me off in the scene is the part when after Mrs. Jumbo puts Dumbo away from the bullies’ view, the kid with the big ears pulls Dumbo out from between his mom’s legs by the tail (smh the rope is there for a reason) and blows in his ear

OOOOO that is a VERY brave thing to do to a baby animal

Correction: That is a very STUPID thing to do to a baby animal when its mother is around

Then the kid has the audacity to pull on Dumbo’s ear and let go so it hits him in the face….which is even stupider

I don’t agree with the title of the video cuz Mrs. Jumbo isn’t going crazy or “berserk”, she’s going wild animal

And I don’t blame her. Mother animals are VERY protective when it comes to their young

The kid got off easy tbh. All Mrs Jumbo did was spank him for being bad, a thing human parents do/used to do to their kids. Yet everybody’s freaking out acting like they’re witnessing something worse

Lemme tell you, he chose the right animal to do this with imo. If he tried that with any of the other animals like a lion or worse, a tiger or a chimp, yeah Dumbo would have been a snuff film cuz anyone who messes with those animals would be dead

That being said, there have been instances where people have been killed by an elephant so that kid was lucky to have ONLY gotten a deserved spanking

Going back to what I said before, you see how the evil ringmaster (which should have had the staff supervise in the first place) immediately acts like an animal is the bad guy here and keeps whipping her while everyone else has to tie her down? Just shows you how animals are treated in circuses

I don’t really blame the rest of the staff cuz granted, I wouldn’t know how to calm an angry elephant down. Plus, the guy who took Dumbo away was actually smart cuz angry elephants are very destructive and are capable of hurting anything, whether it’s on purpose or not

And of course, the ANIMAL is to blame cuz we see her locked up in a small space like a prisoner even though she literally did nothing wrong. Lot of humans are just like that, we, being primates, act when one of our kind gets hurt and that gets the animal punished when their only “crime” was being an animal

[ruminate88]

What Are You Supposed To Do When You Adore People Who Can Not Love You Back? 🥺🥰

First off, my first “love” or “crush” was on a guy named Jesse… I loved him from the time I was 14 till I was 24!!!! I did big grand gestures for him, even made Jesse a whole cd of love songs that I wrote myself and recorded. That was June 2009 that I gave him that CD. 🥺❤️‍🩹 Jesse would notice me at times and either compliment me or say something funny/awkward but Jesse intimidated me soooo much!! I was afraid to be my true authentic self cuz I wanted to impress him… Ultimately, I watched Jesse date 3 girls and he married the 3rd one!! 💔❤️‍🩹 in January 2013, is when I saw Jesse meet his 3rd gf & I KNEW he was going to marry her. I saw him find “the one” and I understood I had to stop chasing him… Oh it hurt me so much and I became a lost ship out at sea. I had a bf when I 18 named Stewart but I always chose Jesse. Knowing Jesse couldn’t choose me back, caused me to lose myself. I wrote my 1st suicide note becuase I had invested SO MUCH into Jesse (10 years of chasing him)

2nd, 1 week after I wrote that suicide note in January of 2013, I met Cody. Cody talked me out of suicide and then lovebombed me. He instantly became the most special person to ever come in my life!!! I truly believed Cody spoke my language and felt the same way as me. We bonded so quick and deep but at the same time, I was sick to my stomach and couldn’t eat. I had the weirdest feeling I’ve ever felt. I thought I was “high on love” and believed that’s why I couldn’t eat… Cody randomly dumped me which not only shook me and confused me but shattered my dreams. I spent a summer crying over him and still writing love songs/heart break songs but then Cody came back, love bombed me again and then asked me to move in with him!!! I was soo over the moon ecstatic and happy. I adored Cody but I knew he had dated another girl over the summer and wasn’t sure if he had totally forgotten her. Eventually Cody ghosted me and I was a walking zombie after that. I was in total isolation and numb. I couldn’t feel my own heart beat 💔💔💔 I realized Cody didn’t love me but rather, he hated my guts!! (No one that loves me, can throw me away like that)

3rd, I met Andrew about 5 months after cody ghosted me and he was the 1st person/guy to make me feel something since Cody. SO now, Andrew is the most special person to me… we were together for over a year but the relationship was not stable and extremely one sided. I was deeply madly obsessed and head over heels for Andrew!! Oh wow I adored him more than my own breath or life. I was gonna give Andrew everything. I was prepared to worship at his feet and go to the edge of the earth with him. Wasn’t a second I didn’t stare at his photos or say his name just to hear it. I wouldn’t shut up about him and I wrote him love songs too. I would wake up SOOO excited to see his name and text on my screen. I would go to bed with visions in my head of myself holding him and kissing him to sleep. Omg I was HIS ADDICT!!! I realize now it was toxic and not true love but I thought back then it was. Andrew made me believe we were happy and falling together but it didn’t last long before he started pulling away/being cold towards me AND I was grappling. I was holding into to Andrew for all it was worth 💔💔💔💔 I cried so hard over him and I’ve never been able to stop thinking of him and when I hear a beautiful love song or sad heart break song, I still cry over Andrew 😭💔🥺❤️‍🩹

Over time, I realized NONE of these men can love me back the way I love them and they’re all forever in a special spot in my heart. I know there was times they “lead me on” or “lied to me” and that’s hurtful. That’s caused me great pain and sorrow. I believe both Andrew and Cody wore a mask to deceive me BUT I love soooo much I’ll never get over them. I’m trying to heal from them and forgive them but my love can’t die for them. I can’t trust them and I don’t want to disrupt their lives. I keep a distance and I stay away from them. Cody ghosted me and I had to block’s Andrew’s number but oh gosh. I want the best for those men. Even Jesse. I hope his wife is a good woman to him and take goood care of him. I pray these men are happy and healthy 🙏🏻 but I don’t think I’ll EVER get over them. 🥺❤️‍🩹

[shainethecanine]

neurodiv moment sorry

I am so normal about Steven Universe omfg 

I’m so normal in fact that it’s literally all I can think about and all I want to think about. 

So this post will be about my faves of the series. (no order, not all of them either cuz I have a bad memory)

Amethyst---- I love Amethyst so much she is literally just me.. I relate to her so much. My only problem is that I wish the writers did more with her self esteem issues because as someone struggling with that partly bc of disability, I really saw myself in her especially in the earlier seasons. Like in the ep “Steven vs. Amethyst” I heard basically all the stuff Amethyst was saying and I was like “OH MY GOD THAT- THAT’S WHAT I  SAID!!!! THAT’S ME! THATS MY EFFING TRAUMA MY GIRLLLLL!! But I was really kinda hurt when they just seemed to abandon this part of her after it got “resolved”... Like, this stuff doesn’t just go away overnight.

PEARL I love her... At first I thought I wouldn’t like her bc she seemed like just the uptight one but she is so silly and her feelings for Rose/Pink I relate to.. She is pure autism energy /pos

Garnet. Garnet is mom, I bsjhbhsc she is my mother I want her to watch Bluey with me while I sit in her lap- dcsdhdscbshcdhchs- her

YELLOW DIAMOND IS A SKRUNKLY OKAY. ACTUALLY. she is so cool and at first i really didn’t like her but in future I just. really really attached myself to her for some reason. She is goofy and a queen and an icon and i love her okay?? Don’t come for me please hfenfshfnsd

GRRR SILLY LITTLE GREMLIN BABY AUTISM I LOVE PERIDOT SO MUCH SHE’S NNHJNDJBSHBSW

GREG.. he’s so nice and very very comforting and emotionally aware. like basically the opposite of my dad and he is Therapy.

Lars... I really like Lars in Island Adventure.. he’s a little shit sometimes but i love his character development and he is just so nice and awesome in the end. I still wish Larsadie was endgame though, they had so much more history and chemistry

Okay I admit I might have a crush on Stevonnie.. Look at them they are so cool just ahh

CONNIE!!!!!!!!! she’s so nice and silly and cute i aghhhh i want to be her friend so bad she is friend shaped look at her.. hbsdcbsdh

Steven is adorable and silly and awesome and might actually be me dshbchsdhcsbbdhcdbschd 

In conclusion I am gay and stupid and my head is a plinko board in which all of them are just. bouncing around being silly..

[mermaid--bride]

Diabolik Lovers || Dark Waters - Maria Maniac Route [Maniac Epilogue]

WARNING: This chapter contains suicide thoughts and mentions to NSFW. If these make you uncomfortable, do not read it.

--Scene starts in the hallway at the Sakamaki manor

Maria: Laito-kun... Where are you taking me?

Laito: Nfu... You’ll see in a minute~

--Scene fades into the music room

Laito: Here we are~

Maria: Eh...? I didn’t know we had a music room...

Laito: Of course we do~

Maria: It’s so beautiful...

(Such a large piano... I feel like I could spend hours here!)

Laito: Do you know any instruments, Slut-chan~?

Maria: Oh no, not at all... I’ve tried learning piano once, but didn’t put enough effort into it.

Laito: Would you like me to teach you~?

Maria: ... ...

Laito: Hm? What is with that face~? Wouldn't you like to learn~? Fufufu

Maria: I would... buy knowing you, I wonder what kind of price that would require...

Laito: Nfufu my my~ You know me so well~

I wasn't expecting you to actually catch on~

Maria: Nfu of course...

So? What do you want?

Laito: So straight forward~ Fufu

However, you see, I am in an very good mood today since I finally have my precious Slut-chan back to me~

So this once, I will simply do what you like. No price required~

Maria: ... ... For real?

Laito: Nfu Unless you want to grant me a wish, of course~

Maria: Nope! I pass.

Laito: Eeeh~? So cold, Slut-chan~

Anyway, let's start with our lesson, shall we~?

Maria: ... Fine...

--They sit in front of the piano

Laito: Nfu~ Now why don't you show me what you know?

Maria: Ok...

... ...

Laito: ... ... Is that it?

Maria: Like I said, I don't know much...

Laito: Well now that's disappointing, isn't it~? Fufufu

Maria: ... Are you gonna be making fun of me? Cuz I don't need that. I know I'm bad!

Laito: Fufufufu no need to get aggressive, Slut-chan~

Here, let me give you a demonstration~

... ...

Maria: ... ...

(Damn... He's really good...)

...!

--Suddenly a memory of Karlheinz flashes

Laito: Slut-chan? Hey, Slut-chan!

Maria: ... Eh...?

Laito: What happened? You suddenly looked like you saw a ghost, you know? Nfufu

Maria: ... ... ...

Laito: Slut-chan...?

Maria: I can't... I can't do this anymore...

Laito: Hm...?

Maria: Every night... Every single night he comes in my dreams and he touches me and speaks to me and calls me Lilith...

I can't... I don't want this anymore... Why... Why do I have to go on like this!? Why did I accept that stupid offer!??!

Laito: ... ... ...

Maria: *Sob* ... *Sob* I wanna die... *Sob* ... I wanna throw myself out the window and die already... *Sob* Just make it stop... *Sob sob*

Laito: ... Maria...

*ruffle*

Maria: ... Eh...?

(Laito-kun just... pulled me close into a hug...)

Laito: ... Come on... Stop crying now~

Maria: ... Laito-kun...

Laito: Nfu... Normally I would love seeing your tears... But knowing it was another man who caused them... I can't have that now, can I~?

Maria: ... ...

Laito: Nfufu come on... Let your Laito-kun handle this~

I'll make sure you forget all about it~

Aah... Nn... Nnn... Gulp...

Maria: Ugh!

(... Wait... This doesn't hurt as much... But...)

(It feels like... My body is heating up...)

Laito: Nn... Haah...

Nfu Your face is all red~ Are you enjoying my fangs that much~? Fufufu

Nn... Gulp... Hmph...

Maria: (He's pulling me even closer...)

(Haah... Why... My head feels so light right now... I think I'm losing it...)

Laito: Haah... Slut-chan's blood... It's so good and different~

More... Slut-chan... Give yourself to me~

All of it~

More~... More~ More~!!

Monologue

I finally gave in...

Not only did I let Laito have his way with me

I actually took him in

I had nothing left

And so I gave him my body and soul

I knew it was a mistake... and that he would probably never think much of it

But at that moment I decided not to care and play pretend

To pretend he loved me

--End of Maniac Epilogue

[feuqueerfire]

July - November 2023 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

A little monthly (spoilery!) wrap-up of all the shows, movies, and shorts I’ve watched or am watching in July, August, September, October, November 2023, general thoughts, and ranking of them all.

Recommendation of the month(s): Stay With Me or Our Dating Sim

Ranking

Enigma = Stay With Me = Our Dating Sim

Love Tractor 

Be My Favorite

Sing My Crush

Skimmed: Addicted Heroin

Average Rating: 5.9/10

MDL Updates - Added to Watchlist:

A section because I’m curious about how many shows I decide to add to my Watch List a month and also the ratio of watching them:adding them.

Love Tractor

La Pluie - tentatively adding this. Apparently it's really great until ep 7 and then there are some good scenes between eps 8 - 10 but it's mostly just frustration

Enigma

Stay With Me

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble - wanted something thriller that had a bromance/BL but romance wasn’t at the forefront and was recced this

Merry Queer - I probably removed it a couple months ago cuz it seemed like I’d never watch it but I saw a few tiktoks again that reminded me that I do want to

Sing My Crush - just found out about its existence (apparently it came out all together on Aug 2) and saw ppl say this was another good kBL this year, hopefully it’ll be good

Laws of Attraction

Love Class Season 2

Only Friends

Midnight Runners 

A Breeze of Love

To Watch List At Start Of Month: 49

To Watch List At End Of Month: 49 (idk how... should be like 53 or smth)

Removed from To Watch List:

Removing these on June 30 because now that I’m getting into kpop as well, my interest in watching dramas isn’t as high and I know I’m probably not gonna get to these. 

Unintentional Love Story (2023) - probably wouldn't end up watching it

Gameboys (2020) - I keep putting off watching it, so I likely won't

Kingdom (2019) - I was on the fence about adding it in the first place and now I don't think I'll watch it

September

D.P. (2021) - don’t think I’ll watch it

La Pluie - lol already removing it

July

I got into zerobaseone and it took over all my free time, so I barely watched any shows this month.

I randomly skim-watched Addicted Heroin eps 10 - 15 on July 15 and yeah, it's deranged lol but I do kinda get why it took over people's minds, esp when there wasn't as much live-action BL. Also, foot kiss ep 13 at 14 minutes in and the guy asking "what if it hurts?" "well then I can bottom, idc" but him lying down again despite the offer anyway are uhh very good. There's a Chinese bromance remake, right? Maybe I'll watch that if it gets good reception.

July 29: Watched the My School President: Super Special Episode. It was cute, Gun and Tinn are cute as expected, even if nothing revolutionary.

July 30: Rewatched Malec scenes because I suddenly wanted to and missed them.

I didn't watch much this month, so I'll combine August with this as well.

August

A bunch of shows I wanted to watch are ending, like Enigmal, Stay With ME, and Be My Favourite, and there's some shows that I've been wanting to watch like Love Tractor and Boys Planet. Since my internship and summer semester is ending soon + ZB1 YITS promotions are over, hopefully I can watch some of these.

Completely Watched

Love Tractor 

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jun 7, 2023 - Jun 21, 2023

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so :>)

Watch Dates: Aug 4 - 5, 2023

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: Ah, the dynamic is so delicious. Older, colder, richer, more jaded Seoul city man and younger, cheery, puppy-like new adult. Also, ummm I liked how much Yul scolded Yechan, ah + that one time Yechan apologized by kneeling. Yechan is cute, esp his antics after the sexy dream he had about Yul, but I do think he's a bit too childish sometimes, so that's meh. Overall enjoyable but I didn't super connect with the story or the characters and likely won't be thinking about them again.

Enigma

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Aug 4 - 5, 2023

Watch Via: GMMTV Youtube

Watch Dates: Aug 7 - 8, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: I wish the wrap-up/ending was done better/explained a bit more like what was that Ajin possession thing? No Ajin past? Why did we redeem mother so easily? Who was the blurry girl in ep 1 (maybe Yiwha?)? I wish the horror aspect continued on cuz I think it was strongest in the first episode but not much after that. It's had me hetshipping and lesbian shipping (Fa/Namsine were literally soooo) and that's a good mark. Good after credits scene to pique interest for a larger story, hope we get a good follow up next year.

tags: enigma

Live Blogging: Enigma Live Blogging

Stay With Me

Country: China

Release Dates: Jul 7, 2023 - Aug 12, 2023

Watch Via: Viki (paid, so :>)

Watch Dates: Aug 11 - 14, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression:  Well, this is really as close as BL you can get without saying out loud that they are dating but there are innuendos galore and it's pretty clear (there was lube on their bed, like...). The family aspect was the best, I love that we got to see Su Yu's situation so much and his blended family and the way they were always there together. You can understand why Wu Bi prefers the warmth of their home over the coldness of his, though we got to see progress on that end too. Duoduo sooo cute, little munchkin. The ending is... an ending, that's for sure. Hope we get a season 2 next year but who knows.

tags: stay with me

Live Blogging: Stay With Me Live Blogging

No more BL this month, it’s Boys Planet time! Well, an exam first, then boys planet!

Boys Planet (Aug 19 - 30): I’m not logging/tracking this on MDL bc it’s a survival show, not a drama but whew, I don’t know how people manage to watch survival shows, especially live. Also not rating it because idk how I even would.

Many weeks of not watching a new drama, though I started and stopped watching a few 10-20 minutes in

October

GMMTV 2024 Part 1 Showcase (October 17 - 18)

This makes me want to actually watch something, even if it’s a short kBL or kGL

Completely Watched

Our Dating Sim

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Mar 9, 2023 - Mar 30, 2023

Watch Via: Viki (free)

Watch Dates: Oct 19 - 20, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: The pacing of this was so good, they managed to give everything needed and timed it well within 2 hours. Well written, well acted, well planned, well shot, nice. I liked and understood the main characters and even the side characters had distinct personalities despite not being fully fledged. I loved how Gi Tae and Wan were so playful with each other, whether it be with the teasing they did and playing hard to get but also the easy affection they often had whether it be kisses, pecks, tickles, hugs, hand holding, just regular romantic touching - a good balance between being strangely chaste and very raunchy. Was cute and I’m glad this is the show that I watched after not watching anything for a while but I won't think about them again, probably. 

tags: our dating sim

Live Blogging: Our Dating Sim Live Blogging

Sing My Crush

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Aug 2, 2023

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so :>)

Watch Dates: Nov 18, 2023

Rating: 4.5/10

Overall Impression: It was... fine I guess, the plagiarism subplot had me invested because it was so frustrating (as it was meant to be) but I really didn’t care about the main couple. Their relationship and interactions did nothing for me. Also I’m shallow so either they needed to have more chemistry or needed to be more attractive to my tastes for me to enjoy watching it rip. I literally skimmed so much of Ep 4 - 7, especially skipped over the main couple interactions and watched to see the plagiarism issue get resolved.

Be My Favorite

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: May 26, 2023 - Aug 11, 2023

Watch Via: Youtube (free)

Watch Dates: Nov 23 - 30, 2023

Rating: 5.5/10

Overall Impression: It is such a tragedy that despite looking forward to this show for so long and enjoying some aspects and moments, ultimately, it fell flat for me. I feel like a lot of this show was objectively done well like the character arcs and acting and stuff but I'm not attached to any of it. The romance didn't make me feel giddy even though I really wish it had like it's strange that I didn't care at all about all those cute moments Kawi and Pisaeng had or the established relationship montages when usually they're some of my favourite aspects of a BL. agh whatever ig at least the show didn't treat Pear terribly.

tags: be my favorite

Live Blogging: Be My Favorite Live Blogging

[totaldramafan-lauri]

O-OK.....I-I’m cooled down now.....That took a bit longer than a couple days ago. I-I had to take a break to play CRK so I could start thinking straight again. I was SO stunned by seeing Poland qualify that I needed to step back, pffffff.....and then rewatch the announcement a few more times......(Don’t get me wrong - I’m not a hater. Poland’s song is actually one of my favorites. It’s just that- I thought they had NO chance XD)

But yeah, now the metaphorical dust has settled.....time to take a look at the non-qualifiers....

Denmark: From the studio version, I pegged them as an easy qualifier and one of the better songs in the semi. I still think the song is good. But the live performance tanked it, sorry to say.....I-I feel bad for him, cuz maybe he was nervous, and performing first probably didn’t help. So...yup, this is one that I got wrong. I didn’t take into account that it could’ve been worse live.

Georgia: Saw this one coming, but I was pretty impressed with the live performance! I still think she has a good voice! But this song was always gonna have trouble standing out, and Georgia never catch a break.

Greece: Was staged pretty well, and the audience got more into it than I expected, but yeah, not one of the best songs. Lyrics are fine, but kinda dull music-wise. Makes sense that it’d slip through the cracks. Saw it coming.

Iceland: Ugh.....this one HURTS! Not only was this one of my favorite songs, but she sounded JUST as amazing live as I wanted her to! Her voice is incredible and I wanted people to put some respect on her name! She was clearly trying very hard to with that dancing! Much like Malta, Iceland went down fighting, so I can at least smile at that. But......*sigh* I saw it coming. I knew I was in the minority in loving this song so much. I knew that it wouldn’t stick with people. And, I still got one underdog favorite in, so I shouldn’t complain.

Romania: The second one I got wrong. I thought this one was pretty safe to qualify......but they had to go and ruin their own song!! Seriously, why the HECK did they slow the entire first verse down like that!? It breaks up the perfect beat they had going, and it took WAY too long to get going! The vocals still sounded fine, but still.... As someone who genuinely really liked their song and wanted to see them do well....I’m not mad, just disappointed. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

San Marino: Easily called this one. I personally really like this song, like, a fair amount....and I thought it sounded really really good live, actually! The vocals were great, and I got really into it! But that was not gonna be enough to make it. San Marino always feel like they have an upward battle to get people’s attention every year.....

(BTW, the qualifier I got wrong besides Poland (in exchange for getting Denmark and Romania wrong) were Albania. I thought they would fail to stand out. Still not that big of a fan them sadly. Wish Iceland made it over them.)

Overall, I came out of the semifinals.....mostly unscathed! I only lost TWO of my top seven favorites, which means I now have a solid top five for the final! See you then!

*goes to listen to “Power” on repeat for a while*