#and i think the show could do something rlly interesting w this relationship if it acknowledged it is flawed

[neonsbian]

watched ep 10 of 10yt, all i have to say is that post abt fictional women not getting an abortion

[sillyhahasilly]

ermm hello can I order some Caldre cuddling head canons please :3

like do they snuggle a lot, pls tell me I think they would cuddle tbh

and preferably if you think the shoe fits could cal be little spoon

oh ok this is my SHIT

I think that any physical affection they do, like cuddling, goes almost completely unaddressed. there is no talking about it later. they just do what feels right in the moment.

andre wasn't a touchy person with anyone ever until he and cal got really close. cal was moderately touchy, but only with family, rachel, or the other very few close friends he had in his life.

when they started to get really close, could of been before or after they talked abt doing something like zd, but definetly after they talked about how they feel about their world and desires to die/cause harm, is when they started to be slightly more than average affectionate to each other.

prior to this their affection was normal friend stuff. patting on the back, hugs hello/goodbye, highfives, yk.

during a particular deep conversation, andre started to tear up a little. he went right into, "ugh i'm sorry this is so stupid." shit. but cal hugged him from his seat next to him, arm nearest to andre still in his own lap, other arm reaching to hold andre to him. he let andre cry into his hold. the first time either had ever done anything remotely like that.

that was the first crossed boundary into a more physical affection relationship.

(I would be very happy to expand upon the progression of their non sexual physical relationship after this but I'm too tired rn. if anyone is interested lmk. take def ooc cuddling hcs! js think abt it as what they would do if they werent rlly repressed!!)

cal gives andre back hugs. his head rests on andres shoulder and he hold his hands together at his waist. he will do this while andre is working or whenever he js wants more attention. cal is a attention whore for andre and he shows it thru affection

when they sleepover at cal's house, an uncommon occurrence, they share his twin bed. they usually fall asleep facing each other, sometimes holding each other. andre plays w cal's hair, the wisps on his nape. it soothes cal to sleep, someone who struggles sleeping.

andre tends to show more affection when he is sleepy. cal becomes more pliant to him when he is sleepy, but is the same amount of affectionate.

andre likes to hold cal, to spoon him and wrap his arms around his waste and up under his shirt, touching his stomach. he puts his face into cal's neck. sometimes he lifts up the back of his hair to stuff his nose in it. he wraps his legs around cals and connects his feet or ankles together so cal is encased. in these moments it's like andre is trying to get as close as possible to cal. cal loves how... loved it makes him feel. how cared for and wanted.

sometimes andre puts his hand on cals thigh when he is driving. it started off as a joke but never stopped.

when they park andres car somewhere random to just hangout, cal lies on andre from the passenger side and they js talk.

when they sleepover in the same bed and cal wakes up first, he will lay there drawing lines w his fingers in andres skin until andres wakes.

cal gets cold easily. when his hands are freezing, he will stick them without warning up andres shirt or his neck to warm them. andre always shouts, "wtf cal!! and tries to get cals cold ass hands away from him

this are kinda mid im.sorry I'm so tired but I wanted to write something 😭😭 thank u for the ask!!!

[pestorik]

can you please expand on deuce/riddle ??? im rlly curious abt them tgt in your AU,,,,

(if you have the time i would also love to read abt azurid & mallerid :D ! no pressure though! im mostly interested in deurid ^^)

the riddle ship trifecta...

i enjoy them bc i think riddle really needs a calm presence in his life that makes him feel like he can act in ways he never had the freedom to do before, without feeling judged or made fun of. whether that is acting childish and silly or just expressing emotion freely. he's obviously really sensitive to being teased so he needs someone who is ok with that and just finds joy in his joy.

i relate to this a lot bc i myself am a very sensitive person, and get emotional really easy but im also very cynical and dry, so i think ppl see that contrast and find it funny. which is fine, but i get hurt or annoyed really easily by teasing bc i think what i really want is for someone to see how easily i get emotional (like crying at almost every movie i watch) and rather than seeing it as smth weird and funny, they recognize my empathy as something good. i want someone to see the value and worth in my emotions, no matter how trivial they seem.

and i think riddle needs that too. deuce isnt super smart but i think he's really earnest and riddle would appreciate that about him. he shows a lot of self awareness in recognizing how his past actions hurt his mom, and realizing he needs to be proactive if he wants to be a better person. very few ppl are willing to admit when they are the problem. he's just a very soft guy, but like, passionately soft. he wants so bad to be good. and i think he would want so badly for riddle to be happy, it would become really important to him just like his mom's happiness.

malleus is super honest about his intentions, which i think riddle needs bc his lack of social skills leave him anxious. he probably would get too frustrated having to play games and guess feelings. malleus just has a super calming presence and riddle needs that so bad. i think they are both pretty awkward bc of their upbringing so maybe they could find comfort in each other, knowing there's no judgement.

azul is none of these things lol 😂 i do NOT think these 2 would be a perfect healthy couple but i enjoy their dynamic. riddle is sensitive ofc but hes also super smart which is why i like the thought of them together. the two top students, not really in a competitive way, more like they recognize each other's weaknesses but also highly respect each other. to the point that they wouldnt ever make a move against the other. i could see them having a more loving relationship but in my mind they are more like a power couple lmao. like two powerhouses joining forces. i do think seeing riddle trying to overcome his own trauma and be a nicer person could inspire azul to do smth similar, realizing that if he likes and respects riddle, there must be some value in kindness without reward.

none of these would be canon in the AT au unfortunately, at least not in my mind (you can do whatever you like with it tho, it also doesnt mean i wont still talk/draw about it). there would definitely still be interactions among them with plenty of room for interpretation. obviously the most between deuce and riddle bc they are both HL.

i could see an episode where riddle recruits deuce to help him repair one of the elephant guardians (since deuce is good at repairing stuff) and they become closer. bc deuce used to get up to a lot of trouble he also has a lot knowledge of some of the rougher parts of the kingdom (im referring to deuces former crew as the spoiled fruit gang) and probably accompanies riddle when he needs to go there. riddle might sometimes go to deuce for advice on his relationship w his mother, since deuce is close w his mom. it would be cute if deuces mom came to really adore riddle and gave him a lot of the experiences he didnt get w his own mother.

[pumpkinsy0]

How do u think tim gets jealous as whoever u see him having smth w?

w tim i think loyalty is very important but i dont think hes rlly big on relationships!!! hes a lone wolf kinda guy SO heres how it goes MOSTLY generally speaking

if hes in a relationship (which is super rare, could probably count the relationships hes been in on one hand) - i wouldnt say hes possessive or jealous all the time, it happens in spades, but it is obvious when it happens, and it rlly only shows itself when hes alone w the person cause “cant let em know ur weakness”

however overall, he lets whoever hes w do their own thing, hes not trynna b a father of another, but he sure as hell is expecting that hes the only romantic interest in ur life, so if hes suspecting somethings up, hes gonna question u and question/intimidate the other person, yknow to get em to back off!!! if his jealousy is on going bc whatever is going on keeps happening, he gets more and more sick of it, like genuinely just annoyed, he doesnt like spelling his feelings like this out all the time anyways, plus it feels like theyre just fucking w him, and allat jazz, it goes from somethin like “dont let it happen again” to anger to just “whatever, they can have u, man”

like i said, tims not big on relationships, hes not gonna keep running after the person time and time again, he rlly cannot afford to considering his life style, if u dont fit in it, GET OUT🗣️🗣️,at some point he’ll just drop em!!!!

but bc i rlly only feel like tim could ever b in a relationship w darry, i dont think jealous tim is poppin up much, darry already tells ppl off for hitting on him cause hes not rlly into that, so tim doesnt worry about it a lot, if anything he prolly flirts a lil after someone tries hitting on him and theyre alone after

if hes in that odd ��friends w benefits and fucked up feelings’ thing like him and dally got goin on- jealous tim is more of an inward thing??? theyre not in a relationship so tims not expecting loyalty but he is a lil salty cause y r u goin to other ppl🤨🤨 for example w tally, when theyre not gettin together and dallys w sylvia, he night feel a quite a bit upset over it, but he wont go all “its either me or her”, he just feels what he feels and lets whatever happen happen, hes not fighting over dallas

if hes just w u to sleep w u- he rlly doesnt gaf who ur doin, yall r just usin each other for some reason LMFAOOOOO

BASICALLY, tims not an emotional guy and isnt expecting much from the relationships he has, hes heavy on loyalty and will hold u up to that, but if yall arent exclusive, dont expect tim to rlly get possessive/jealous over u

i hope all this made sense</333

[stupendousfoxthing]

if there were to be video or something that came out of jk doing something clearly romantic w a girl, would u think we misinterpreted tkk all this time and were just reading into their interactions way too much? or would u maybe believe they were together at one point and ended it? maybe they’d be in an open relationship? or maybe it rlly was for show?

i didn’t follow ur blog at the time of when the shitstorm happened w the sasaeng taking a video of jk and a girl in his apartment (ik it’s an old topic but it’s one of the only things that gets in the way of tkk for me) but i’m interested to know ur take on whether that video was a romantic interaction or could’ve been just friendly? i believe it was 100% a real video and at first i was so heartbroken and confused abt tae and jk’s relationship. i grappled back and forth w the nature of the interaction in the sasaeng video for a while but the more i watched it the more i thought okay wait it’s like a 15 second video taken super out of context of just one location in his apartment where u can’t even rlly see if they’re alone or what happened prior. and it could be platonic (there were pics of him back hugging his female tattoo artist who was just a friend) especially if he’s not straight and the girl knows about that? i feel like there’s a lot more leeway w platonic physical affection between women and queer men than with straight men (even tho ik of friendships between both straight men and women that are also physically affectionate but still totally platonic). however, i sometimes feel like that sounds like me just rationalizing why it may not be romantic and being in denial. idk bc i don’t want to blindly believe in tkk but i can’t explain away tae and jk’s interactions as being totally platonic either so then i get super conflicted.

sorry ik this is rambling atp and it may be a topic u don’t want to address anymore but i’d love to hear ur interpretation of that whole scenario and how it affected ur beliefs and views on jk/tkk

It would be very hard to convince me now that there wasn't something between Taekook at some point, and it certainly wouldn't all be undone by a clearly romantic something between Jungkook and a girl. You definitely would not be able to convince me that what they did was "for show". Their relationship is authentic no matter what the nature of that relationship is. I've been a Taekooker for a long time now and I think I'm older than the average here. I not only have plenty of receipts for my belief in Taekook, I have context for all of those receipts because I was here when it happened. I was much more active on Twitter when the tattoo artist "scandal" happened, and I actually got tagged with a few of my TK friends by the first shady accounts trying to spread it. When I think back on that time, I just feel bad for everyone involved. Even the tattoo studio staff, who were harassed mercilessly and had their shop vandalized. That had much bigger impact than the recent video, but it's funny because when I saw the convo around that I was just thinking I've already seen him back hugging a woman. If that was enough to debunk Taekook I would have bailed in 2019. The intention of this rumor was exactly the same as well. It follows the same pattern as every other. Post something with no context and that's actually not proof of anything, but spin some wild stories about it. It's very easy with interactions between a man and a woman. Every person I see still posting it everywhere says the woman in the video is his pregnant gf. That's obviously not true. People freaked out because they were told more was coming. That didn't happen. I agree with a lot of your second paragraph. I don't put more weight on interactions just because they're between a man and a woman. I do think it's weird that a few seconds without any context would be enough to question just because it is a man and a woman. I've had plenty of interactions like that with male friends I had no romantic feelings about. Hell, when I was Jungkook's age if a stalker wanted to they could have gotten video of me hugging and kissing people I also had no romantic interest in and never dated. That informs my perspective on things. It's not just heteronormative, it's all a little puritanical to me. I actually wasn't blogging here until a few weeks ago so you're my first ask about this. I appreciate your message. After days of nothing, I got yours and then another (which I'm not going to post because it was obviously someone trying to start shit) a couple of hours later about the exact same topic, so I was a little sus about people trying to troll. But your questions were asked in good faith so I wanted to answer genuinely. Hope you're having a good weekend. ❤️

[kookiecrush]

do you ever consider that maybe we’re a little too caught up and stuck in the taekook bubble that we are over analyzing every tiny thing way too much and that taekooks interactions just aren’t actually as deep as we’re assuming? ofc they’re close but sometimes i double back and think i’m just too focused on their interactions so every tiny thing they do i am blowing out of proportion. especially when i watch content of the whole group, regular footage from award shows etc. i feel a bit ridiculous believing two of the members are actually in a relationship. ofc their relationship is not meant to be noticeable but rlly sometimes i think i am just having taekook tunnel vision. we see so little of their lives and interactions, i’m sure they have super deep and meaningful relationships w ppl that we don’t even remotely know about. sometimes i think we believe just bc tae and jk r the closest that we can know of, but there’s so much we don’t see

It took me a while to come around to the idea of taekook being real, anon, so when I finally did, I was pretty confident about it. It wasn't a random or split-second decision, and I certainly don't have a habit of thinking kpop ships are real. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I dont believe in taekook because I want or need them to be real. I believe in them because that is the logical conclusion for me after everything we've seen from them. One or two 'suspicious' or 'interesting' moments might not be a big deal, but we're talking about consistent patterns of behaviour and multiple questionable moments year after year after year.

Do the things taekook do tend to get over-analysed? Yes. Does that automatically mean we're seeing something that isn't there? No. Of course we're biased, but that doesn't mean we're completely incapable of critical thinking. I never assume that everything they do is related to each other, nor do I view everything they do as proof that they're in a relationship.

People meet and fall in love with each other all the time in all different types of situations, anon. What's so ridiculous about it happening to taekook? Some people like to act like the chances of it happening are zero, and I don't understand why. I'm certain people have fallen in love in much stranger circumstances.

Yes, we see so little of their lives, but why are you assuming that what we don't see would show us that taekook are not together when it could just make it even more obvious? We probably see the bare minimum, and they're still suspicious enough to have people like us taking notice of them. BH have tried their hardest over the years to hide the true nature of taekook's relationship, yet so many people still clocked on to the way they would behave around each other and how their relationship seemed different to the rest of the members.

I would never blindly believe without questioning things, but nothing I have seen from taekook in 2023 has made me doubt their relationship. If anything, their antics last year has only solidified my belief 🤷‍♀️

[snow-and-saltea]

People I'd like to know better

Tagged by @paleasamoon (hi tex i love you tex sorry this took a year) (HEH. get it. cus you tagged me last year. heh.)

Last song: just putting on yt music as im reading manga and talking to muwi, and now its playing burn for you, from the bridgerton musical! (i don't know watch or follow it) (it's just a nice song) but i'd also like to recommend this song

Favourite colour: YELLOW!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛

Currently watching: my computer screen writing this up

Last movie / TV show: skip to loafer! i was screaming with muwi the entire time bc the story was so sweet and healing and everyone is so sympathetic and cute and we kept being like AAAAAAAAAA I LOVE WOMEN FRIENDSHIPS SO MUCHHHHHH

Spicy/savoury/sweet: sweet! if i could choose a combo, i like savoury-sweet. i like spice but only if i like the flavour! i'm not keen on the actual pain sensation of spice!!

Last thing I googled: hummmm i don't remember... i think a marinade recipe i made yesterday night? i made a korean base marinade for some lamb chops!! i cooked them today and invited my sister to eat with us, it was rlly yummy!

Relationship status: single! waves my aroace flag!!! i'm curious about how it feels to be in a relationship but it's not smth i try to actualize LOL i'm content w reading my shoujosei man-ga/hwa/huas <33

Current obsession: idk if i could call them obsessions yet but right now i'm really invested in sousou no frieren (anime only, havent caught up to the manga), skip to loafer (same there), and i'm looking for more wholesome healing stories. although now that i'm going through my reading lists for stories i've dropped, i'm laughing at them fjaksfjkasfj

(i promise this one has proper context bc i usually like pacifist mcs just bc i like politics and connection seeking to be based on a foundation of empathy and kindness. but this one was just so stupid and just a way to establish how good the mc was to the point that i couldn't get immersed in the story bc it was that nonsensical and i wanted to die)

i'm typically fine w mary sues / jane(?) FLs and i even tend to be biased for them just bc there's a lot of misogyny about the subject matter, so i normally don't bat an eye unless it's a writing choice i find unsuitable / doesn't fulfill the potential it could've achieved with an interesting plot.

(btw the context is that the first screenie which this rant also applies to was when some guy caught the baddies and the FL is like "No let's reward them for trying to kill us. they're just misunderstood!! i bet if we try really hard we can all get along!!")

but! i only really like it when it actually does something useful, like thematically or symbolically. like tohru's innate goodness for furuba inline with the sohma's family curse and mitsumi's unending positivity and earnestness that helps the people around her heal from emotional wounds. not that they're mary sues in any way, but since people understand mary sues as "female protagonists who can do no wrong and will be liked no matter what" (even thought their psychology and personality is just genuinely likeable), i think it makes my point clear. there's a way to write a character who is Good and Kind without cheapening them to a naivete that at best, makes the mc pitiable, or worst, is treated like the mc's totally unique worldview of "lets be nice to people and never hurt anyone ever :)" is the end all be all of the story and the solution to the plot. kindness and empathy is a coiled spring that projects you forward, a motivator. it's how you guide your hand and where it goes, not that the hand is never raised. i don't agree that cowardice towards change and the potential promise of conflict is any kind of wisdom >:T plus it kinda puts the shame to the idea of kindness as a legitimate basis for political strategy, and that leads to some set up for a lot of zero sum games i don't care for in this specific story. there is a good story where each character is trying to one up each other politically, psychologically, at all times, but this is not that story and so the tone feels very off kilter.

but yeah!! sometimes a character is just OP and the story is not even having fun with it (aka its not satire or irony), which makes me think they want to take it seriously. and my serious thoughts was that it sucked.

(i just realised this also applies to the first screenie LMFAO it just loops back huh!!)

not gonna comment about the others bc i think they speak for themselves <33 but also the first one of these three is fucked up in the sense that i dont even get where they're going w the story. its a revenge story and the FL uses the ML from childhood to achieve her revenge, but then suddenly when he's an adult she has Feelings for Him and now im like.... okay....? belief no longer suspended. beliefs are like those garter straps that snapped. my socks are like my beliefs. fallen to my feet. they are no longer suspended.

sorry that got off track </33 i enjoy looking into why i dont like things, im in this stage of life where i realise i actually have specific ass tastes!! i always have, but i just realised it very recently a few years back fjskfjskjf

People I'd like to know better (i also wanna include some mutuals who i haven't talked to but i like to see on my dash):

@snickerdoodlles

@fflewddurfflam7

@00uroboros

@perpetualstateofcrying

@pirate-with-internet-connection

💛🐢😤💪

[jakowskis]

Day 15 - Are there any ships you dislike?

alrighty so. there are only rlly four i ‘dislike’, and the first three… it’s more complicated than anything, it’s not entirely utter pure-n-simple disdain. it’s less about the ships themselves (in two of the cases, anyway) and more about how they seem to be perceived by the fandom + how much they dominate everything. other ships exist, guys! the other characters exist! anyway ill try not to be mean but i am gonna be petty, lol

so for starters, yeah, jack x ianto. i have a very specific view of it, that i do enjoy, but the fandom seems to be doing something else entirely and i've developed some resentment despite myself. especially bc it’s overrated as fuck. don’t get me wrong, it’s iconic, as far as being culturally significant gay rep, but if im honest idk how well they hold up in 2024? i thought their relationship in s1 and s2 of the show was lackluster at best. poorly written bread crumbs. and yeah i know it was big for 2006 but im just personally kind of offended that they could show them sucking face but not show the intricacies of why the hell ianto would fall for a guy who shot his girlfriend down?? like, their relationship is inherently dark and angsty to me and im interested in exploring that, bc the show certainly doesn’t (initially) bother to, and a lot of the fan content i see is either fluffy (??????????), or angsty in a Tragique way, or is just kind of… fetishy and whumpy? people slot them into a Specific Kind of Dynamic and it grosses me tf out. so the fandom culture rubs me wrong, and then it’s just… such a bummer to like owen and tosh and gwen in a fandom that only seems to prioritize this one ship. there are 22k fics in the torchwood ao3 tag, and 13k of them are janto. now, all that being said… they do intrigue me and endear me, just a bit. but it took the audios to make me give a fuck about them, which is sad. 

on that same note - i have the same relationship with tosh x owen, but i'm significantly less fond of it, cuz it just plain rubs me wrong. i like them in theory, so i spent months trying to figure out how to make them work and what other people are seeing that they think is so endearing and cute - i just can't find it. owen's treatment of tosh is just about the only thing i can't stand about him. he treats everyone poorly, but most of the rest of the cast defends themself (or even hit back, like ianto and gwen, and thats why i ship them with him! it’s spicy! i love balanced unhealthy dynamics in fiction hfdsjkf i can’t lie) - but tosh just lets him, creating an unhealthy power imbalance where she’s just getting hurt over and over again, and it makes me wanna fucking punch him cuz she does Not deserve that. i want him far away from her lmao. except under certain circumstances, cuz i have written fic about them, and i’ve read like three rlly good ones (and the main link between them is tosh stands up for herself and puts him in his place! i HATE how he walks all over her in canon ughhhhhhhhh). additionally, i do admittedly enjoy the angst of their canon arc. i just think fandom throwing them together and making it cutesy is lazy, uncreative, and an injustice to both characters. i think the SHOW throwing them together was an injustice to both characters, especially tosh’s. they're tragic and compelling, ill give them that, but theyre not sweet, and i don't think they'd be good for each other. 

(also worth noting on a show where everyone has tension w each other, imo barrowman & gareth and naoko & burn pull it off the least convincingly and have little to no chemistry. like every other duo just kind of sparks in some way or another, and neither of those duos do. which SUCKS bc they’re the canon ones. but it’s also heavily poor writing like they were doing the best w what they had. grr. like i still dont know what the fuck ianto likes about jack or what tosh likes about owen 😭 that’s ridiculous!)

the other ship i’m petty about is jack x john hart. i just think it’s far too popular for what it is. idek why that is, do we have a substantial amount of buffy fans in the fandom? don’t get me wrong, i liked john in the show + i liked their relationship as well, but i'll always be annoyed when a minor character gets more attention than the fascinating main ones. 

and lastly i hate john x ianto, because i respect ianto, lmao. i can’t lie, if he was my fav i’d probs ship it HJFKDSHFK i love putting my favs in awful situations. but as is it just grosses me out. get him outta there!! 

tldr: i don’t interact w the john hart side of the fandom, and if a fic is tagged 'jack/ianto tosh/owen gwen/rhys' i probably won’t read it 😷

[dracoandthehounds]

Fanfic Writer Ask Meme: K, Q, S, T

thank you for sending this in!!!! :)

K: Guilty fanfic pleasure--

hehe okay this was kinda a hard one bc i don't rlly have a lot of tropes that i feel like "guilty" about liking or anything, but I do think I have one!!!

Sometimes in some media that's super sad... i really like searching out the most like self-indulgent fix-it incredible/magic fics that undo all the bad lmaoo. Like the sort of stuff that would not make it a good story hypothetically bc it just magically fixes every problem just so I can like imagine a little world where everything had a happy ever after lmao. I guess it's sort of a guilty pleasure too bc it's not even something I want in a story lmao I want those characters to suffer lol for The Plot but sometimes I like to just read one story where just this once, everyone lives. lmao.

Q: Do you like getting prompts from your readers?

YES! I love it so much. I wish i had more time to respond to some of the ones I have sitting in my ask box or half written lmao. But I love it bc it can be so helpful for me thinking abut the characters in a different way. Like, really, go crazy with it. Send me ten different ones. (100% guarantee i will not get to all of them lmao but it would be fun to pick one out where I get an idea with it that just rolls lmao)

S: How do you feel about fanart inspired by your writing?

Ummmm like crying??? lmaooooo. it's absollutely incredible and i have no words for it at all. It's like..... unbelievable. One of my favorite things is the idea of like what it means to communicate (bear w me lmao). but like the idea that communication is like (idea in your head) > (how you speak it aloud) > (how the other person hears what you say) > (idea in their head) and how like each time the idea has to go through one of the ">" -- it changes. So like when someone draws fanart of something I've written, I get to see how the idea that began in my head ended up in theirs and is now being portrayed again. It's just like............ so unreal lmao. so. so so sos so sos sosooooo cool.

T: Any fanfic tropes you can't stand?

Oooh okay interesting... okay I feel like i can answer this better in the context of like general fiction tropes I can't stand. I cannotttt vibe with relationships being portrayed as like the... this character needs a love interest so let me put this cardboard cutout of a love interest into the show/movie/book whatever and slam them together until it works. Like... what I enjoy about romance is the concept of two characters with fully fleshed out personalities/identities slowly over time melding together until them being together feels inevitable.

I feel like that's why I enjoy fanfic of non-canon relationships bc it is more of a way to bring together two characters who *weren't* made just so they could be in a relationship together. Like they are very much their own people before the romance, so it feels more natural and more exciting. I want to feel like their relationship will last because they've developed and grown into each other if that makes sense.

so like even in canon media, I feel like a good example of this is angel/buffy vs. spike/buffy (.... no hate to angel/buffy shippers pls omg....) but this is why I'm so much more of a fan of spike/buffy bc those characters were NOT written to be together. Their relationship came about bc James Marsters did such a good job portraying Spike as this lovesick puppy (Joss Whedon did not ask him to do that lol and planned on killing him off after a seven epsiode arc), that everyone demanded the character stick around. And then the chemistry between him and Buffy just like leapt off the screen and it just made sense through their journeys that they would inevitably collide together. (unlike buffy/angel where angel was written to be her love interest and like she was into him after three episodes bc he was hot and mysterious lmao).

So that extends to fanfic sometimes I feel like bc sometimes I don't see a reason behind a pairing in the story and it can take me out of it. Like I want to understand why these characters would end up together... I want to see what they see in each other and I just can't do it when it feels like two dolls that are just being slammed together for the sake of making sure they don't end up w/o a partner. I'd rather have them single than that tbh.

[tadpolesonalgae]

AHHHH u don't know how happy i am that ppl are talking abt Please... bc i remember stumbling upon that fic and seeing that it's been a while since the third part and kinda dejectedly accepting that would be the last of the fic we get 💔

u mentioned that the relationship between azriel and reader will likely not be something romantic or sexual. what kind of vibe would their relationship be in that case? because i think in that fic, ur descriptions of how they perceive each other and themselves were a bit more sensible(?) than the actual books (sorry sjm lmao) in that they both seem to acknowledge that a 500+ year gap is..... y'know.. a pretty big difference and that there's an insane gulf of just, experience in life/war/knowledge/etc due to that age gap despite how powerful reader can be with her truthtelling? powers.

for some reason i can't see them being friends? it feels more like,, a mentor-mentee type of relationship.

idk if az has actually been portrayed like that or if my brain has just convinced myself so with wishful thinking 🤭 but i think he has a somewhat? protective??? nature about reader???????? like he knows that she grew up in hewn city and under keir's "parenting" no less so he's aware what she's been taught and molded to be made into. but he also seems to know she shouldn't be in that type of environment? idk again maybe i've just been imagining things lol.

like, reader seems oddly naive and almost pure despite the cruelties she probably witnessed and been subjected to (if the implied language throughout the fic meant anything). in part 1 she allowed azriel, a 500+ y/o fae who literally pointed a knife to her face 2 seconds ago, to touch her with more or less no way to protect herself had azriel decided to do something she didn't want him to. and there's just slivers of moments throughout the fic that kinda makes u want to hug her bc girlie seems so lost abt herself and the world 😭😭 it's just very clear that she doesn't really have anyone to rely on so she latched on to the first person that showed Any ounce of human decency, and az isn't even overtly kind to her 😭 bro threatened to kill her so he could get the veritas thing and yet EVEN THEN he's still one of the nicer ppl she's met in her life (considering she trusted him enough to make the deal to have him touch her + asked him to comeback himself when returning it + doesn't hesitate when revealing potentially sensitive info + the way she subconsciously brought herself infront of his tent in part 3)

ALSO have reader and mor interacted with each other at all throughout her life???? i'm assuming they're sisters through keir (probably half sisters? idk if this has been addressed in the fic it's been a while since i've read it). i ask bc i can't imagine mor or even rhys would've just let her grow up in hewn city alone knowing how it was like for mor. so i've been assuming that keir probably hid reader or kept her sheltered to some degree before she reached a certain age or started to become useful to him with her powers, and at that point it was kinda too late for the ic to intervene or smth. now i'm wondering if reader harbours any resentment or emotion towards mor and/or rhysand, or if it's more of a disinterest like "that's someone that's apparently related to me but i don't rlly know them so 🤷‍♀️". i think there was a moment in part 1 that indicates that reader is scared of rhy's powers and him potentially wiping her memory during the i'll-give-you-the-veritas-if-you-touch-me deal thing so maybe there isn't any familiarity between them beyond that he's high lord of the night court 🤔

anyways sorry if i just started assuming a bunch of things that weren't there in the fic but something about Please... just makes me feral and want to go into hyper analyzing mode bc the plot, her being keir's daughter, the dynamic w her and az, all of it is so interesting to me

‘i remember stumbling upon that fic and seeing that it's been a while since the third part and kinda dejectedly accepting that would be the last of the fic we get 💔’

Oh my gosh no, please always feel free to drop by and ask about future parts to fics—I often get preoccupied with cbmthy so forget I have other things that people might be here for 🫠

I’ve actually started on Part 4 for please… and have gotten some future scenes planned out if you still want more after the next chapter!🧡💛

‘because i think in that fic, ur descriptions of how they perceive each other and themselves were a bit more sensible(?) than the actual books (sorry sjm lmao) in that they both seem to acknowledge that a 500+ year gap is..... y'know..’

That’s so sweet to say 😭 thank you 🫂

Honestly with please… reader is supposed to be in a pretty bad situation but not overly concerned about it? Sure it would be nice to leave, but she doesn’t imagine that’s possible so is content to set her mind to use by guarding Kier’s trove of treasures. Then with the strict court rules (particularly for her, being kier’s offspring and also female) she point blank doesn’t have an interest in finding someone else since that’s not what she’s been raised on? So when Az comes along, sure he’s beautiful, but he’s the High Lord’s Spymaster first and foremost, probably quite a few levels above her in terms of hierarchy, but on fairly similar footing hence the wariness but not blatant disinterest on her part.

‘sensible(?)’

I’m so sorry to go on a tangent here, but I’ve never seen anyone else do the ‘(?)’ thing (I might just have an awful memory though, sorry if I do 🫢) It’s such a useful little marker, I used to use it all the time in high-school essays when I was unsure about quotes 🤦

Anyway, tangent over! Sorry!

‘for some reason i can't see them being friends? it feels more like,, a mentor-mentee type of relationship.’

I think reader craves a companion of sorts and Az is currently the closest she has to that ideal. Though I agree I can’t see them forming a friendship in the traditional sense? Maybe they might grow to that in a century or two, but like you said with the vast difference in experience I imagine it would take a while for them to reach a similar level of understanding :)

‘idk if az has actually been portrayed like that or if my brain has just convinced myself so with wishful thinking 🤭 but i think he has a somewhat? protective??? nature about reader????????’

Stop because I read through the last three parts last night to help with writing part 4 and I can’t pull their dynamic to mind at the moment 🤦

I think in part 3 though there is that scene where he looks after her a little because he sees some shards of himself in her from the angle of being made to inflict torture on someone? But after having hurt a person together, I think reader might become a little shaky around him specifically, so we’ll see what happens in part 4 🫣🧡💛

‘like, reader seems oddly naive and almost pure despite the cruelties she probably witnessed and been subjected to (if the implied language throughout the fic meant anything).’

So we haven’t really gotten to see much of that (mainly because I hadn’t intended this to be so plot-heavy but shh) but I suppose it’s more indifference to the things that happen around her rather than ignorance/her being unaware of them. I’d say it’s why she’s more blasé when Az first finds her in part one, because she knows he can’t just kill her despite having the ability to, if that makes sense?

‘she allowed azriel, a 500+ y/o fae who literally pointed a knife to her face 2 seconds ago, to touch her with more or less no way to protect herself had azriel decided to do something she didn't want him to.’

This is probably something I’ll be touching more on in part 4 and that was kind of alluded to in part 3, but with her powers of truth she’s able to get a general sense of a person. Obviously she’s still pretty young compared to other fae and has grown up in the Hewn city, so the types of people she’s encountered have been mostly the same which makes things a little difficult. However, she didn’t get the impression Azriel particularly wanted to kill her, or that he was particularly untrustworthy which is why she was so ready to make a deal with him. (That and also girlie just needed to feel something, desperately)

‘it's just very clear that she doesn't really have anyone to rely on so she latched on to the first person that showed Any ounce of human decency, and az isn't even overtly kind to her 😭’

Compared to how he can be with his family, no he wasn’t kind to her, but he wasn’t cruel to her—which, having grown up in the Hewn City, is as good as wrapping her up in a warm blanket and setting a tray full of delicious food on her lap. Although I think he’s gotten a little more gentle with her in part 3? Maybe? 😶

‘so i've been assuming that keir probably hid reader or kept her sheltered to some degree before she reached a certain age or started to become useful to him with her powers, and at that point it was kinda too late for the ic to intervene or smth.’

Unfortunately again, I hadn’t really considered this angle 😶‍🌫️

I’d have to agree with you that Kier would have kept her hidden otherwise I feel like Mor would have been right there from day one to make sure her younger sister wouldn’t have to endure what she did.

With whether or not reader harnesses any resentment toward the IC, I’d say it’s a bit of a mix? She’d scared of Rhys, as literally anyone in the Hewn City should be, considering what sort of person he becomes, but beyond fear and maybe a twinge of admiration for Mor I don’t think she has particularly strong feelings toward them :/

‘anyways sorry if i just started assuming a bunch of things that weren't there in the fic but something about Please... just makes me feral and want to go into hyper analyzing mode bc the plot, her being keir's daughter, the dynamic w her and az, all of it is so interesting to me’

It’s no problem at all!!

It might take me a while to respond to slightly longer asks is all, but if you’re fine with that then I love getting to read through these!! I’m pretty sure you’re the first person to talk about please… specifically in such depth (which is so flattering, thank you so much) so I’m really happy to have a reason to return to it and I hope part 4 will have a similar essence of what you enjoyed in the first three parts! 🧡💛

[dungeonbf]

it’s like we’re in the same containment cell. or the same enclosure at the zoo lol. or even better we’re in different enclosures across from each other and we stare at the glass at each other and sometimes bring over rocks to show and stuff. it’s a mighty bit enriching!!!!

OK i’ve thought on this actually! i think by the time amelia puts everything together (which wldn’t be unreasonably long but not unrealistically fast either) she’s already grown somewhat attached to jesse & enjoys having him as a roommate (they’re not romantically involved YET) (yet…) so she weighs her options. she could kick him out & look for another roommate who might not be as bearable as him OR she can just. pretend the bad stuff isn’t real. she opts for the second option, lol. she does not approve of him selling meth & has strict boundaries on the fact that he can’t bring any home & that he has to wash if he comes home smelling like the crap. it’s more personal for her bc she’s worried abt a potential relapse so she’s sort of harsh abt it but. other than that she doesn’t bring it up bc she’d rather not see jesse in that sort of light.. ignorance is bliss, blasé blasé. her relationship w jesse & w drugs is something i think abt often ngl.

on a less serious note, auth right wld block anyone who leaves hate comments under his art bc it actually hurts his feelings ok arguing over which ppl deserve to live in his community that’s different but his ART? nah he’s crying in the bathroom on that. bc I feel like when he draws he lets his inner child, that sad little lonely pathetic boy, take over so it rlly hurts. he might say a slur b4 blocking actually… anywho i wld support his art bc i like all art ^_^ I think each piece of art has beauty in it and idm if the proportions are wacky bc a lot of styles r like that tbh when u look at them for more than 5 seconds. plus I think it’s cute he wld draw us kissing that’s just rlly funny cute

— @boykujou

@boykujou OMG YES… bringing over little rocks and flowers and such (authright headcanons) to your enclosure (ask box)

i’m very curious btw what’s your fave thing to do with either jesse or authright (or both)? i like jesse, i think he’s a sweet bf and has good intentions. i encourage his wrongs. anyways, i’m super curious about how his drug dealing affects your relationship, especially considering your s/i’s stance on it. i also think considering the highs and lows of the relationship is one of the more interesting parts of self-shipping, like maybe it’s just me but i like thinking about conflict and strife and how to get over issues!! sorry this is like wordvomit but you get what i mean… we’re on the same wavelength.

also curious.. how IS jesse in a relationship? cuz obvi you know him better than i do, please feel free to share any headcanons :3

AND NO THATS SO REAL, he definitely gets super emotional about it. i think it’s a good thing though (getting emotional about art) cuz it shows that he’s passionate about it! it’s something important to him! i feel like at first he views it as a weak soyboy cuck activity but he genuinely grows to enjoy drawing, even if his art isn’t conventionally good. headcanon that he draws up propaganda posters and tacks them up all around the extremists’ house.

[themyscirah]

3, 8, and 25 for the locg ask game!

He's just so slay what can I say. Anyways Emerald Twilight is my all time fave for him, and also GL/GA is amazing and I love it (though it is dated). But no I do love him. He's SUCH a bitch sometimes though and I find it so fun most of the time (and others kind of frustrating. Harold, please why must we do this rn).

The moment that really got me interested in him as a character (and not just background to other GLs) was definitely Green Lantern (1990) #1, when he swan dives off a cliff in front of some campers, only using the ring to save himself and fly away at the very last second. It immediately made me realize something was incredibly wrong with him and it has captivated me ever since

Of my top 10, he's definitely the one I feel I know the least about, as I've always seen him more on team books (which is generally his forte but still). Something I really love about J'onn though is that he'd SUCH a great friend. Like in the Suicide Squad/JLI crossover when he sees Mari McCabe hanging out with C list villains and being suspicious breaking into the prison (bc the Squad was NOT known abt at this time) his first instinct isn't to be confrontational or fight like everyone else is doing, but instead to reach out and ask if she was okay and how he could help her.

Or like in nu52 JLA during the mind prison arc when he's helping and kind of mentoring Stargirl during their "escape" of the mind prison like <3333 he's just so good. Or in New Frontier when he befriends the government boss who spent the whole comic trying to hunt him down and experiment on him after he saves the govt guy's life at the expense of his own goals?

I just love how he's a hero character that isn't just like nebulously good and cares about all people, but specifically cares about the people in his life and shows that care in his relationships with them <3. Anyways I should read more Martian Manhunter. Especially bc Ostrander is one of my top writers on locg and I've been meaning to read more of his stuff

APHRA LETS GOO!!!! Another Star Wars character but she's the queen of my heart for real. Did a campaign to try and get her in my top 20 a few months back but her ongoing ended and I've read more since then so now she's no. 25.

Fave runs for her are ofc Darth Vader (2015) [which I need to finish] and also Doctor Aphra (2020) by Alyssa Wong. There's also her 2016 run (which I think was written by Sí Spurrier?) but I haven't read that one yet so idk.

As a concept Aphra is just SO inspired and I rlly do hope we get EVEN more comics with her and that she makes the jump to other media bc I NEED star wars fans to get me when I rant about my favorite morally bankrupt asian lesbian archeologist fuckboy. She's also polyam but that's not compatible w the fuckboy bit bc that's her committed relationship later on (character development!)

I also love that she essentially bullied Luke Skywalker into being reluctant friends with her despite kidnapping him multiple times and also working for Darth Vader

[m1ckeyb3rry]

hii i have returned with my ramblings on SITH like i do every chapter lol :))

omg the mention of friedrich being “scary looking” reminded me of that time u said that only the mc genuinely finds him handsome & i still have not recovered from that /pos

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABT THAT TIME FRIEDRICH BEAT HER UP DURING TRAINING, THE MEMORIESSS

i love how much falco looks up to the mc & how this chapter kinda showed her being a mentor to him, it was so sweet <3 falco being out of breath from JOGGING is so real, like he’s just like me fr we’re both terrible at running

I CALLED IT THAT FRIEDRICH WOULD INHERIT THE JAW, ALL THE SIGNS WERE POINTING TOWARDS HIM LMFAO

the irony of colt being the first of the trio to inherit his titan & also being the first who will die. idk if u plan on diverging from the canon plot & having him live or just sticking with canon plot, but the “i’ll be the first” line rlly hits hard either way, & it’ll hit especially hard if he still dies.

now that i think abt it, the trio rlly is just the found family trope & im gobbling that shit up bro, i love them with all my heart 🫶 i feel like they’re not only soulmates, but also the “our fates are intertwined in every universe” trope as well. so even if one of them dies & the other two have to live on w/o them or two of them die & the last has to preserve their memory, all 3 of them will meet again in another lifetime. they just can’t be separated (they come in a set LMFAO). that’s my take on their relationship at least.

i hope u like my theories & takes lol. when im super invested in smth, i always like talking abt it & going in-depth bc that’s just what i like to do. even if i get some shit wrong (when theorizing or analyzing), that’s ok, bc im just having fun & enjoying smth im interested in :))

hope ur doing well & taking care of urself!! remember to hydrate & get lots of rest. and dont overwork urself (even tho that’s prolly easier said than done). <3

— 🪐

HIII I love your ramblings I always smile when I get the notifications!!

LMAOOO I would like to slightly revise that and add that friedrich isn’t really considered ugly by anyone either he just always looks 0.5 inches away from snapping so people are too busy being scared of him to think he’s handsome. Ofc the mc knows him so well that she sees past that and can appreciate him for what he is <3

HAHAHA IT WAS SO LONG AGO THEY WERE SUCH LITTLE BABIES BACK THEN!! So much has happened since then 🙁

I wanted to somewhat show Y/N being a good person again since we’ve seen so many chapters of her struggling and overcoming her faults and traumas. She’s definitely not a perfect person but she can be very kind at times and she is canonically super good with kids so I thought showing her and falco bonding and her doing something for someone other than herself would balance out the heaviness of everything post-athyae. falco is so sweet I actually love him sooo much but I was lowkey dying writing him in this chapter because he’s just so hopeless 😭 I would like to add that in the running scene Y/N is the one jogging…my man falco is SPRINTING to keep up with her 😩 up to interpretation whether it’s because “slow” for Y/N is fast for like anyone else or because falco is just really not athletically blessed.

I feel like friedrich being the jaw titan is the most obvious choice. He’s way too slippery (does that even make sense?? Idk how else to describe it) to be the armored titan and way too independent to be the colossal, he could be the cart but tbh Y/N just exemplifies the cart to me I couldn’t see anyone else inheriting it, colt being the next beast has been a thing since like the first chapters of the fic, and he just…is not a girl so I can’t imagine him as the female titan.

I won’t spoil the trio’s fates, but writing that scene knowing their futures was definitely painful. I’m trying to write and update more often so you don’t have to wait years to find out what happens to them because there is SO much planned for the future of this story. I’ve been struggling because the past two mini arcs (which were titled return to liberio and warrior’s welcome if you were wondering) have been the hardest to write so far. They’re a lot more introspective and focused on Y/N’s mental development, conflict, and recovery, so it was a lot of just “people visiting houses” with inner monologues as opposed to plot and external conflict. The next mini arc is very different though so I’m excited to get to that!! One more chapter of warrior’s welcome and then I’m finally free 😭

I ADOREEEE FOUND FAMILY!! That’s why endure and SitH are my favs, I feel like they both have their own versions of the found family tropes that make me feel so 😫 but the trio and the endure crew are definitely super different. like the endure found family is just a bunch of siblings (case in point Y/N and Jean) but the trio defies categorization. They’re in love but they’re best friends but they’re somehow more than that?? Idk their dynamic isn’t something I’ve written before but it’s definitely one of the most interesting I think!! (I’d say it’s my favorite but my favorites are endure jean and y/n, endure eren and y/n, and promise y/n and tullia, with an honorary mention to endure y/n and tullia)

I LOVE YOUR THEORIES SO MUCH!! I won’t confirm or deny if they’re right because I don’t want to spoil but I love reading them and responding to them so much. It makes me sosososo happy that you’re so invested in this random story I decided to write on a whim one day and that you’re having as much fun with it as I am. Your asks motivate me sm because with a story like SitH it can sometimes feel like I’m only writing for myself (which is good because it gives me creative freedom but sometimes demotivating as there’s no engagement)

Thank you so much and remember to take care of yourself as well!!

[scoopsgf]

also! sorry for ranting but i really really hate the fact that before jess and rory started dating, they showed that he was interested in literature the same way she was (even tried reading the fountainhead for her, which is something you could not PAY me to do) and even to the untrained eye, you could see that dean was overly possesive of her during her and jess’s friendships, and then all of the sudden, when they start dating, all we see is their fights and nothing positive in their relationship.

WELL we did see some good moments (and got to see their amazing physical chemistry a lot) so <33 i try to cherish the little things, like the knowledge that they hung out all the time and were constantly going on dates, etc etc. plus while they did fight quite a bit, they were always great at making up and smoothing things out. i think it just sucks bc the whole town was against them from the get-go so the odds of their relationship succeeding were already low. it breaks my heart sm ugh they deserved a real shot. all that said, we know they had the potential to be a great couple which is rlly what shipping literati is all about—and i think in a way it’s kind of a good thing (or a silver lining anyway) that we didn’t have them shoved down our throats bc it leaves us all w so much to wonder about and therefore write about.

[mithliya]

related to the ‘no actual lesbian characters’ point this always bothered me in degrassi and I’m not even close to being a lesbian, so I’ve watched up to season 11 and I’ve had spoilers for the other seasons + next class (which had the stupid representation of the non-binary character but n e ways) the first named lesbian character introduced was Alex and she had originally been dating this creepy loser but out of no where she became a die hard lesbian after she and Paige became an item which felt just... so forced. I feel like since they made a lot of steps to include a gay male character they were like “oh shit where’s the lesbians” and then rewrote the most futch coded character to be a lesbian, which is... fine I guess but they never even touched on the fact that she was with the moid so it felt like a plot hole they could’ve very easily covered up. I did appreciate how in her stripping story arc they never tried to frame it as empowering like other teen shows (like she’s a literal child?????) and she never expressed any attraction to the Johns which I was rlly scared of. And this was in like 2006 so probably better representation than others at the time. And with Fiona Coyne I also felt like they written her in to be shoehorned as representation since they had already written full character arcs for another gay male and a trans man character, speaking of that the first hint they gave to her being a lesbian was her dating Adam (previously spoken of tif) and solely dating her because she was female and she could obviously see that, and saying “you’re like the best of both worlds” which feels like a cope, and Adam getting super mad about that and breaking up with her. A gold star for the terfyness and representation of butch characters atleast? And later she went on to date multiple other random femmes, I haven’t watched up to the point of her other relationships so she could’ve very well have been botched but :/ Fiona felt more shoe horned than the others because she had literally kissed her brother in a previous episode which... m yeah. And imogen which had been interested in another male character before being given a lesbian character arc, like it’s so lazy... the comphet storylines must be so tiring and is probably to some extent why the master doc exists. Like so many shows have fully fleshed out, researched, and focus grouped storylines for gay male trans etc characters but for lesbian characters they slap on lipstick lesbianism to a random b character then say ‘that’s enough activism for today 🧚‍♀️’

OH MY GOD i was thinking of degrassi too and didn’t wanna say bc i thought no one would know what im talking about. yes the thing with alex was literally so annoying. like the thing that bothers me is they will have these het or bi characters then all of a sudden they’re lesbians and their history with men is not explained at all. they just try to act like it was no big deal. alex was with that piece of shit guy for like at least a year and they were constantly kissing and looking very into each other. they couldn’t find a way to make sense of that for us??? cmon now. but i recall fiona also showing interest in men and then ofc all of a sudden she’s also a lesbian but at least they slowly tried to make sense of that. wait until u get to another one of the lesbian main characters they got in next class. fr it’s the worst one imo. i don’t remember fiona’s story too well but looking at her wiki:

3 ex boyfriends and kissed another guy, the uncensored one is her trans ex boyfriend that u mentioned, and i don’t recall any of this being explained. i don’t remember her showing any discomfort with them either. iirc she seemed very into them?? if they had put any thought into her having been w men, they would’ve shown her not looking into it and perhaps trying to avoid being with them or SOMETHING but they never do that. ever. like. ur right degrassi’s lesbian rep is horrendous. there’s only one character who iirc is a lesbian that is represented decently but shes a side character and isnt that prominent on the show so.. there’s that at least.

also isnt imogen openly bi?? she basically said she’s into ppl regardless of sex

[angelpinkpasta]

sigh I was just gonna reply ‘they’re kinda complex’.. but wrote all this instead. here’s an analysis on their relationship bc its been on my mind for too long n its getting ridiculous LMAO. I had the time🤧:

Olly and Paisley knew each other since they were literal babies. Paisley struggled making friends growing up as she was very shy, and this worsened when her mother, who she loved and connected with so dearly, passed away. The only person there for a long time other than her dad and sibling was Olly - her close childhood best friend, making communicating with him not so hard for her. their memories mean a lot to the both of them esp her. For Paisley, this rlly was her closest and most important friend. Loosing him would be like loosing her only accepting friend - a major person from her past. (There is liann too ig but I’m not sure if they’re knew each other as kids?). Just to mention, Paisley is someone who stays close to the past (the annex, her mom, her childhood treehouse, it all means so much to keep that part of herself with her. Olly is a huge part of that.).

It seemed that she was in awe of what he did to help her with the annex. Might've even developed a crush - she loves her childhood best friend for how impactful he has been in her life. So when he started to act a lil off, she was confused, maybe a little blind to what he was making her do. Even when he started talking too much about his excitement for Ley-la, she still tries to be there for him. Doing what he likes most will keep him around (putting on that show whether she's comfortable or not) and she just genuinely cares for him. She couldve easily talk to him (she seemed comfortable w him before the leyla thing happened), but after the both that and annex situation she might've been in denial about his actions. He was being so thoughtful, surely he didn’t mean wrong now. She already lost her mom, she cannot lose her only close friend too. Idk what I'm trying to explain lol. just. just hear me for a sec guys. she’s afraid of losing him. ((SPOILER// even literally hiding when he’s around… maybe she’s afraid of making him mad, which eventually means losing him?? he kinda toxic uh))

Olly, as the lil shi he is /j, is still also complex. He grew up with a working class family (friends lore) so i assume his parents were not around him so much in his childhood. Him and Pais were neighbours so he would spend his time with her and her family. He found her mom a very inspiring person, kindhearted and loving seemingly unlike what his own parents had time to give him (so he empathized for what paisley was going through after losing her mom). What gave him attention were the costumes he enjoyed making, maybe boosting his family money a bit. So he sees himself as someone who could make dreams come true if he just gets to work on it. Boom.

Like Pais, his childhood friend does mean a lot to him (maybe not as much as her, but he still brings up their childhood here n there). When it comes to his possible feelings for her... it could be one thing or another.

Possibility One: ok uh. he doesn't have a crush on her. He thinks he does. He is fruity. He just has internalized homophobia and is projecting that onto paisley who he thinks he likes. Might explain a bit of his blindness towards her, thinking he is doing what a guy would do for his girl to love him, but messes it up. ("Oh I'm doing something she would love so it's working out right???"). Might explain his fear that Zac would take her away from him. help.

Possibility two: he does love her. This might act be more accurate just based on him caring bout her while also blushing and getting all shy around her that one ep. Also his reaction to her preform. Or his jealousy of Zac. Anyway. He initially really wanted to do this for her, but it was also a huge interest of his own for a long time too. he thought if both of them get what they want, esp her, they would both be happy. And together forever. He kept that in mind somewhere but fame rlly got to him, he ended up caring bout that more.

I mean. Olly gets confusing. There were times it just seemed he was blind... and some even manipulative??? When you rewatch the scene at the lunch table, where he gives her those eyes, and when she says she can't dance, he then talks about his costumes. Then knowing how kind Pais is, she immediately encourages him (probably feeling bad knowing what he's been through in his childhood, wanting him to finally have his moment.) and it distracts her from even giving that talk. He either didn't mean for this... or knew her feelings right there and just wanted to get his way, to make her go for his perspective. There was also that scene before he yelled at Zac (bro should chill😭) and claimed 'we’re in this together' despite the fact she said she 'can't do this alone’. She is in a struggling state, and he seems either unaware, or very aware and trying to get her on his side. anywayz

I dont wanna spoil much so I’ll leave it here. uh. all I’ll say is that i dont think their relationship is set in stone, i think there’s a chance they can improve it, but based on that ending there’s also that side that just seems bad for the both of them if they dont work it out. In this essay i will

im just rambling.

I wonder how many still ship Olly & Paisley after S2

It's clear that Olly cares more about his fame than Paisley's wellbeing.